A few other lucky accidents in MLB I have noticed:

Nora is a kickboxer, wears those weird armbands, and insists to be called by her ring name. To a martial arts buff, that means she practices Muay Thai and got really serious about the culture, that includes those armbands (called pra jiad) and immense importance for the ring name (in Thailand a Nak Muay will often change their legal name to match, and will ALWAYS include their training camp in their name). It also explains why a bulldozer like her has a trickster name: the ring name is given by fans, and whoever gave it must have decided she looked like a deadly spider but didn't know Anansi is a trickster.

Marinette's grandmother is named Gina Misurati. Because in neither Italy nor France one changes their name to match their spouse (mrs. HUSBAND NAME is a courtesy title), and her bike, a Moto Guzzi V7 Sport (it's identical), has written Misurati on it (it was obviously a reference to Maserati, but they stopped making motorbikes in 1960, and none of their bikes looked like Gina's anyway).

Diplomats have horrible working hours that get worse with higher rank, and diplomat kids are often "weird" and forced to grow up too fast. By happenstance, Lila's first mother is barely home, and Lila shows surprising maturity at the oddest moments (like when she flat-out told Marinette that a boy wasn't worth fighting over and offered to help her with Adrien in exchange of friendship).

Paris didn't have their own city police until 2021. Roger is from the NATIONAL police, meaning he shouldn't answer to the mayor... But he does, so SOMETHING must have happened to cause this transfer of authority.

Felix' outfit is identical to Eton's uniform minus the ridiculous hat and overcoat. I suppose it fits his social standing.

Sabine can use her spatula as a weapon. That spatula is nearly identical to a Monk's Spade, a weapon used in Shaolinquan.

Speaking of martial arts, in Chameleon Lila uses actual MMA techniques to overpower Ladybug, and Felix' claim of using Karate points to Wado Ryu thanks to those dodging moves of his.

And the big missed chance: Savate. Not only it's France's national martial art, Paris is where it was improved in the street fights of the Belle Epoque... But nobody in the show practices it. The old non-sport style includes the ancestor of Parkour, cane fighting (now mostly practiced separatedly as La Canne), garrote (the contribution of Paris' gangs), throws (already present in Paris, where Greco-Roman Wrestling was born and practiced before being rebranded), and elbow and knee strikes. It would be perfect for out heroes, both of them... Yet they don't practice it.

Yeah, it's honestly such a shame that these awesome details/references are just either never used or a one-and-done deal just to make a cool easter egg. And sure, Gina's bike for example could be just that, a cool little character detail. Maybe while the bikes did stop getting made in the 60s, she got herself an old one and re-vamped it as the years went by. Adds flavor to her character. Admittedly I don't know enough to talk about the model, but I trust your skills when it comes to identifying the make. Also, I was always sure that changing your last name to a spouse's (like mrs Dupain-Cheng) is optional, like a courtesy as you said. I don't know enough French people to tell if it's a rare occurance or otherwise, but still a nice tidbit of info I'll file away.

Nora is honestly another prime example of wasting some awesome character building because they can't bother to do the research behind the design. Sure, she looks cool and somebody might have said "give her wrappings on the arms, that's awesome" and the designers went with it, but we clearly see that she is a Martial Arts buff even in the way she talks to Alya and co. Why they never bothered to lean in on that even as a background detail, I'll never know. I know it's unreasonable to expect any group of writers to focus on every single character beat, and that Nora doesn't appear enough to really warrant the focus, but it still would be cool to see even through like, one or two lines from Alya. A reference to the Anansi metaphor you mentioned or a word from Nora about the cultural inspiration. It would have been cool.

Continuing down the martial arts road, I did notice Lila's MMA moves in Chameleon, but it seemed more like a case of the writers/animators deciding on cool moves than them paying proper attention and using the correct style of fighting. Sure, they might have and in that case kudos to whoever greenlight that decision, but it always felt a little accidental to me, just for the sake of the action scene itself, you know? At least with Felix we get a proper explanation, and it does honestly build up his character with a cool detail. Not sure if Karate was the best fit for the reasoning here, but any explanation is a step in the right direction at least.

About Savate...it honestly would be an awesome inclusion. Sure, the heroes fight with their superpowers and weapons most of the time, but some the close-quarters moments like the rooftop scene in "Ladybug" was the perfect chance for Adrien to bust out a good throw at Hawkmoth. Speaking of, one might make the argument of Gabriel using La Canne moves, (and I honestly haven't seen enough to dispute that), but to me it looks like he handles his weapon more like a sword? Sure, fits in nicely with Adrien's fencing allowing him to fight back in a 1 vs 1, but we already have quite a few characters who swordfight this way. Tomoe and Kagami do, as does Adrien like I mentioned. It would have been much more visually interesting to give Gabriel a separate style of bladework, especially since his weapon is in the name. In general, I'd love to see a good knee-cracking kick from Ladybug, so I totally agree with you.

I do love Felix's outfit though. It's a cool reference to those who get it, but also stands on it's own as a cornerstone of his design and adds more to his character and personality. Especially with the entire fandom (me, I'm the fandom) writing about him habitually keeping wrinkles off his suit at all times and staying perfect. I refuse to believe Colt Fathom did not do a number on this kid. But yeah it's also just a cool outfit to put him in, and I appreciate that!

In terms of Roger and the police...I'm going to be frank with you, the show handles that aspect horribly. Sure, you could assume that they answer to Andre because he's the immediate authority figure and also a corrupt politician, but that's first of all not even remotely possibly without serious internal corruption of National Police, and second of all completely unreasonable! The police force's reaction to Akuma attacks used to be a big thing in Season 1. In Origins, they tried fighting Stoneheart on their own. And in Copycat, they try to apprehend "Chat Noir" for stealing the Mona Lisa. There's the seeds of an interesting dynamic between the heroes in masks and the boys in blue! But in Rogercop, they're being made into utter fools! Andre is very obviously under duress when he tells them to apprehend Ladybug and Chat Noir, and they just...start listening to the villain like mindless drones? In Maledictator I can excuse it, his whole powerset revolves around making new "laws" that those he blasts have to follow. Makes sense that Roger and co. would be the first responders and get beamed in 5 minutes flat. But in any case where an authority figure is forcibly giving orders, there is a protocol! A procedure to follow! A plan to be made! But...nothing! The show does absolutely nothing, and then beyond this point the vanish apart from another 2 or 3 times where police officers show up in the background somewhere, or as Akuma goons because we need grunts for an action scene. As much as I love "show don't tell", in this case I'd be happy with tell! A comment from a news report about how police have been instructed to stay out of the Akumas' way and help civilians evacuate is so easy to add, and it would change nothing except making Roger and his team actually usefull! As it stands, the entire concept of a police force exists only the few times Astruc needs it to. And don't even get me started on Chloe's coup of the Captial City of France!! I'm convinced this universe has no goverments, no presidents and no first responders for any situation, I swear...

About Lila's mother, yes! Finally somebody says it! Lila's mother is obviously overworked, she clearly does love her daughter but is physically unable to make time for her! This could be such a cool dynamic to see with Lila's home life, and like you said it perfectly explains why sometimes amidst her psychopathic tendencies there's a moment of unexpected maturity from her. Exploring this even gradually, even with us literally being drip-fed information, would have made Lila a much better character! There are so many layers here that remain unexplored, and I can smell the good content like a bloodhound! Sure is a shame that Thomas never bothered to include any of it... I swear, every fault this show has goes like this:

Cool Idea + Good Introduction + (Botched Everything-Else * No Follow-Up) = Miraculous Ladybug

Can't believe the writers made me do math for this show...or that when S6 releases we'll be able to make the "Six seasons and a movie" joke from Community. At least that's a silver lining...

P.S: I love Sabine's spatula. An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age...

professional help, c3. 'The conversation.'

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, italian, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: The Fruits, Paris Paloma.

abstract: Simon here, I saw Jude again, she's still going on about her theories, whatever. it's not even funny anymore and she has some weird secret I want to find out… still, she's a fucking menace to society. idk what's wrong with her probably got dropped on her head on purpose as a kid. don't blame the parents.

In the end, she did hear back from Price. An email. 'Scherzi!' She shouted out loud in her apartment. She sat down on the couch and Jinx hopped on with her, sniffing her laptop. An email from the captain, an invitation to a briefing. To discuss the situation. Tomorrow after your last session at 5pm. 'No vabbe, me fa parià…' she mumbled and wrote back that she would be there. They wanted her help on the situation, she had to come prepared. She was good, she did good. Look at her, who would have thought. She was in America all alone in her little apartment. She moved away when she was 18 and never turned back. She had worked in the most awful places with the most awful people to pay her studies. She hadn't been home in years, she had no friends, she was paying her bills, she had a car (she was still paying for it every month), she had her job and now higher ups were asking to speak to her about her take on a difficult mission! A life or death situation, she would solve the case and save the lives of millions of Americans. A fucking tidal wave. If my mom could see me now. She looked at her calendar on her laptop, she had sessions from 9 to 12 the following day, then from 3 to 5pm. Then the briefing, then ballet.

She did some research during the evening, she took the dog on a walk and then showered. She ended up smoking a little too much, she was nervous. She woke up early the following day. She stalked, or better, did research, on Arash's social media, along with his family's and friends' to gather any information that could help her. She looked up 'The Pilgrimage' author online, looked through his other publications. Not very famous writer. She kept thinking about the meeting all morning, she wanted to make a good impression and be useful to the captain. She was so nervous she nearly spaced out during therapy with a Sergeant with severe anxiety. She didn't eat lunch. When she knocked on Price's office door and heard him say to come in, she was a little surprised to see the captain wasn't alone.

Skull guy stood next to the desk in the middle of the office. He looked at her. He took very seriously the mask thing and skeleton theme, he had a black mask on, like the cotton Covid ones. Maybe he was just insecure. 'Jude thanks for coming on such a short notice' said the captain, signalling to sit down in front of him. 'This is Lieutenant Riley, Simon you met Jude.' She took a step in the direction of the Lieutenant, she wanted to shake his hand. 'Nice to meet you,' she said. He took her hand without making a sound, he just nodded slightly. His hands were cold. She sat down and so did Price. Simon was still standing. 'So, I wanted to update you on your patient. We spoke with him and three other soldiers about joining us to the next mission in Al-Jareena next week but he refused. Well…' he stopped, rubbing his beard in clear distress. 'He got up and came up to me saying his injury is not fully healed and he will not be able to be deployed. So I told him we needed him and he started to get nervous and left the room.' She listened without intervening. 'I know you have an appointment with him one day before we leave. I was wondering if you could maybe let me know if you find out something about this, he's required to leave with us, otherwise we'll have to report him. His doctors cleared him.' He showed her a piece of paper, sliding it across the table. It stated Arash's hand healed to full recovery. She read the statement before looking up at Price.

'Correct me if I'm wrong' she started. This wasn't gonna end well. 'He's supposed to leave the base and go on his little trip for one hour the day before you leave, the day before the mission, let's say to alert Khorram's men.' She quickly glanced up to the Lieutenant who was still standing silent with his arms crossed. He looked like he could crush her skull with a finger. She wasn't scared, she even found it kinda funny, his little costume. 'We could follow him. He could be updating the troops on your next movements and we could… catch him in the act' she said.

'Too risky.' It was Simon that spoke. He was British, his voice was deep. He had been debating on intervening in the meeting from the moment Price asked him to be present. He asked him cause he trusted him, and valued his opinion. Jude could have been informed and educated with her little theories and stories, but she didn't know how things worked in the army. This wasn't Cluedo. She had the same attitude when she walked in the room, maybe a bit less stiff. He took his time exploring her. Her pretty green eyes, her nose, her neck. She wore a blouse this time, with grey trousers. She still had those shiny high boots. She had her hair up, a blonde ponytail. He looked at her jaw. She had a mole on her cheek. He shook her hand, he could smell her deodorant. Her skin was warm, soft. It reminded him of untouched snow. He wanted to take her hand and look at it up close, hold it, feel her slender fingers and her pointy nails. He looked at her thighs pressed together when she was sitting. The curve of her hips. Her voice still sounded rough and serious. When he spoke to her she looked at him offended. 'Too risky' he had said. 'He would notice, he already suspects we're onto him.' He explained.

Hum…fuck you? 'Well if he's not guilty he will have no problem talking to you' she replied, still holding his gaze. She was brave. She was probably a few years younger than him, she had her little moment and now it was time to get back to reality. Yet, she still wouldn't listen. 'He doesn't have the doctors excuse anymore, he knows things are moving. You saw his m.o., he'll get out for an hour and…' she tried to convince him, she looked at Price for his approval, but he stopped her. 'Then we'll catch him when he comes back' Simon spoke without waiting for his captain. 'We can wait for your session and see if he says anything, or just force him into confessing.' Her lips formed a straight line. She didn't like his plan, maybe because it wasn't a plan, it was just sitting and waiting. He had dealt with much more complicated things than this, she could relax. 'You want to interrogate him and accuse him of what? Skipping his doctors appointments? You're wasting an opportunity to see where he's really headed when he sneaks off base', she quickly replied shaking her head in his direction. She had slightly turned her body towards him. 'You're the one who accused him first.'

'And I gave you proof, didn't I?'

He liked talking to her. Her voice still sounded weird, he couldn't pick up a particular accent. He understood she would't let it go.

'I think you're waisting an opportunity'

'I think you're thinking too much about it.'

I think I want to break your neck. She was mad now, he could see her, he could feel it. The air was cold around them again. She had the same expression as the first time he ever saw her a year back. She wasn't confident, or powerful. It was the look of rage. 'The nightmare that hunts you for the entire week' look. Fortunately, Price stopped them from discussing it further. 'Jude, do you think you can get him to talk about the mission? I will put down his name as one of the soldiers in the team, so he will know he's coming with us.' She was nervous at this point, but tried to keep her breathing stable. Could she get him to talk? She couldn't do it last week or the week before, he stopped listening. 'Yes, I will do my best.' She replied. 'Good, thanks. You'll let me know as soon as you finish, if everything goes to plan, we bring him with us and he complies to his duties, everyone is happy.' It wasn't going to go this way, she could feel it. They were making a mistake. 'If you feel like he's suspicious, you tell me and we'll keep him here and interrogate him, we'll see what's going on. Sorted?' He asked. She didn't respond for a few seconds, but nodded. I already proved to you he's fucking suspicious, what more do you want. They weren't listening.

She stood up and thanked the two for inviting her to the meeting, she assured them she would keep them updated. Her smile was fake, she still wanted to be polite even though she thought they were both fucking stupid. Ghost didn't feel guilty for going so hard on her, he looked at her leave while she was trying to hide her anger. He said what he really thought, that was what he had been trained to do. 'What's her deal?' he asked the captain on his way out. 'Jude?' the man looked up, then shook his head. 'She's a good counsellor. She has… she is a strong woman, I think she's good at what she does, I've always trusted her.' He said. You're lying. That's not enough, and it's not a fully honest answer. They were hiding something from him.

notes: translation: 'Scherzi!', you're joking! 'No vabbe, me fa parià' Naples dialect for having fun. I gave you an hint to where she's from <3

notes: are they making a mistake? also, what's the deal with Jude hu?? reblogs and replies are highly appreciated!

love, mare.

taglist:

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Okay, like...this is my favorite chapter so far despite the angst. Like, open honest communication, even if it's angsty, is like my favorite parts of story. Like, especially from a perspective like the Reader's where you think she's a pretty reliable narrator (and to a certain extent, maybe with any other group of people she would be but the Hamato fam is capital case T and lower case t traumatized).

But yeah, I thought I had finally caught on to what was going on with Leo (with the tagging and what you've shared I knew the it wasn't a crush) but I NEVER expected that. Like, I've sent messages to you before with these last few chapters saying you're an amazing writer but I think this chapter is like, the definition. Because, though we knew something was up with Leo, I don't think too many people, if anyone at all thought THAT, and yet, it's not coming out of nowhere. Like thinking back on EVERYTHING it makes so much sense and that's such amazing writing.

Like, some people may ask you to pay their therapy bills after these last few chapters but can I ask for your brain? 🤣 But seriously, amazing chapter. Thank you for sharing!

i find it interesting and curious how many people are convinced donnie and leo are equally bad in this situation. like. hello?? lmfao

it has been very interesting watching people track leo. a few people have gotten…. halfway there on his motivations?? but i’ve always been screaming at the screen hopping in place like YOURE SOOOO CLOSE. YOURE SO CLOSEEE YOURE SO CLOSEEEEE

anyway thank you so much!! i really love having twists that are like POW but when you go back you’re like. oh. oh yeah. it was here all along wasn’t it. so it’s sooo fun to see that happening!!

Alright, happy Thursday hoes, lets get to this.

Mothership first

Okay… interesting open…

Omg…how many times are they gonna use the trope of “don’t touch that!” “who the hell are you?” surprise it’s the new laywer…

Not surprised its another old white dude, but at least he’s not as old as mccoy

Okay seriously…. If they get rid of Samantha I will not be watching this show anymore..

I wonder if they’re going to bring this staff change up on svu too considering this guy is also now carisi’s boss… but the writers seem to have forgotten that these shows all exist together until they want to do a crossover.

If this was svu the ada would be storming into the squad room yelling at the detectives for making a mistake that’s gonna cost them their case. Why don’t we get to see that on mothership? I want more crossing over between departments, cops never show up in the gallery either, just to testify if they’re needed.

Oooo yesss that maroon suit. I see you ma’am!

Man they’re just right fucked with this case aren’t they?

This defence attorney is super crusty

How come these videos are coming up NOW and not before things went to trial??

This judges office is barba’s office. They really only have so many sets, hey? (also the continuity of that office on this show/universe drives me fucking insane).

My subtitles keep cutting in and out and that is also driving me insane

Toronto time.

Will I pay attention? Likely no

JESUS FUCK talk about a cold fucking opening wow.

Big surprise I stopped paying attention halfway through the ep. Like, it’s fully muted right now and I’m working on writing LOL

SVU time

BRUH is this maria stuff ive been seeing all over twitter legit?! I thought people were fucking clowning LOL

Olivia in uniform just fucking makes me so fucking weak every single time

Clearly the other captain hasn’t been in the field a lot if that was her immediate reaction to that crime scene

Okay… hear me out… olivia literally saved maria’s life and stayed on the phone with her ALL night. We all know she has a habit of taking in strays… there’s no doubt maria became a cop because of liv… maria would have reached out TO HER about her graduation, not the other way around…

Velasco getting actual screen time finally. I do have to say, im back on my Velasco bullshit…

LOL. I know it was unintentional but the harshness of velasco’s knock on the door killed me.

4 hours of law and order is too much. Im getting bored and this is the show I actually like. I think imma start skipping Toronto cause mothership does hit some days

If this girl has a good enough lawyer she could easily get off on an insanity type plea… tbh this episode would’ve been way better on criminal minds. That would’ve been bad ass.

This episode is almost over and we got absolutely NO closure on the maria thing AND we didn’t get to go to court. Im OVER this fucking show man lol

Liv being back in her bac nail polish era is bomb though

Fin doesn’t strike me as a scotch guy… this is weird..

Okay… liv is really not okay. Like this girl needs support, she needs proper and regular therapy, she needs a break from work. Go home and spend time with your son instead of drinking cheap wine alone in a bar? Also while we’re talking about drinking alone after work being all sad, can we touch on the fact that her mother was an alcoholic, and that was what *killed* her… this is incredibly worrisome and I doubt we’re ever going to touch on it/get it fleshed out like we should…

Okay we at least got some maria closure. Thank you.

OC time!

Jet *attempting* to control stabler, woof. At least someone’s trying loooll

This bitch is so dead

Part of me feels like its bullshit that se wouldn’t know any of this about her own brother, but also I never talk to my family so…. LOL.

Fuck he’s creepy as shit

There is NO WAY THAT TINY MAN IS THE SAME SIZE AS ELLIOT

The fact that it took THIS long for someone higher up to question his anger/trauma/etc affecting his job is wild.

THE BARTENDER IN ME IS FUCKING DYING. I had a PHYSICAL reaction to that conversation.

“you’ve never had a long island ice tea?!” “I don’t like ice tea it’s too bleh” guy promptly orders two to prove that theyre good? THERE IS NO ICED TEA IN LONG ISLANDS

Cragen’s really just gonna be in the last second of this episode isn’t he?

Everyone: proper ear pieces

Jet: nah. Air pod.

I really thought that stabler was gonna be missing for a like, a good chunk of time with no one knowing.

OHHHH right! The foil he found in the bathroom garbage and immediately licked… right… I forgot about that. Now the question is who it belongs to…..

Finally started Kaveh’s hangout (finally, seriously) and completed one of the three main branches.

This was the one about working with his suspicious but ultimately idealistic client to build a library out in Aaru Village.

Overall, not much to say about this one. It’s mid personified, not terrible, not great, just a thing that exists now.

The only real commentary I have is regarding how hilariously off the fic portrayals of Kaveh are, compared to how he actually turns out to be. He basically tells his client to fuck off once there’s too many revisions requested and too many dumb layman comments. He’s hilariously focused on maintaining a good and nice image when telling off clients, but not really concerned about the telling off itself. He’s indeed kind of gullible and stupid about things, but he’s not unaware of scammers and such. He just doesn’t think things through. He’s also, interestingly, very aware of his own (past, potentially?) guilt issues and talks about them very directly and calmly. He even pays his own and your bill at the tavern. 

Anyway, some screenshots:

I just like this one.

Kaveh bitching about Alhaitham. It’s a very interesting question how accurate is Kaveh’s perspective on Alhaitham, since he often says things that seem to be quite different from what we see, like saying Alhaitham has a temper. Where did he get that idea? 

But on the other hand, Kaveh’s first thought after getting back post archon quest is to accuse Alhaitham of trying to seize power in the Akademiya which... is so far off from Alhaitham’s actual personality that it makes Kaveh look outright delusional. 

Kaveh isn’t actually cheap to work with, and he only takes high-end projects on the whole. He outright tells a client when he feels they’re being ridiculous about hiring someone of his caliber. 

This is part of a mention toward what is art and what is artistic vision, which doesn’t really go further in this particular branch. 

However, I have to say, like so much of Genshin writing, this particular section has a bizarre swerve into “is it inspiration from the gods.” Like, bro, why did that suddenly come in. 

Also, this section read like the writers bitching about getting their glorious vision meddled with, and it made me roll my eyes. 

Similar to Heizou’s hangout, this one gives more follow up to the internal tensions of the nation that couldn’t be addressed in the archon quest. And the solution is the same: the correct and rightful archon is in charge now, so everything is going swimmingly. 

But I do admit they at least tried to bring up some points about how it’s not a simple process (though more as an excuse for why this story can even happen). 

I wonder if this is the story of what Kaveh got up to during the archon quest? It’s pretty dumb: He noticed a guy whose house looked like it was going to collapse, so he offered to help build a new one. The guy said he had no money, so Kaveh lent him some. The guy gambled it all away... and Kaveh lent him some two more times. And in the end, the guy tried to have mercenaries kill Kaveh in his own house. 

I don’t even know what to say. 

This is a minor point, but I am eternally disappointed how everyone in modern day Genshin can’t do anything except graverob when they need to build a cool thing. 

All of you are losers who are unworthy of the truly great creators of the distant past. Make your own dang mechanical cores??

The entire section of one of the endings just reads like that joke about getting a good grade in therapy. 

For someone who completely flipped out at Alhaitham for just mentioning his guilt issues, Kaveh is awfully calm discussing them in detail with a near stranger. He just goes on for like a dozen dialogue boxes analyzing himself and it’s like... I’d prefer if we had a bit more showing, you know? Something actually happening? That would be nice. 

On the whole, I guess I would characterize this writing as being kind of amateur? The writer is aware of like, characterization, and tries to weave it into the dialogue, but their attempts at being casual about it just come across as contrived and a bit weird. 

I shouldn’t have said other heroes would try to change Damian. But the fact so many heroes who deal with people like Lex Luthor and Amanda Waller are so assholy to a ten year old disturb me.

I saw a idea that a lot of writers who hate Damian is because he reminds them of their childhood bullies. Look bullying sucks, but the fact so many writers attack a kid character this much. Despite having one of the most privileged positions to write these decades old characters.

I think they need to drop the pen or get away from the keyboard for some therapy

asdag;lkj yeah seriously. like. they just make their own fave heroes look like chumps (which. I know i'm repeating myself but)

what's weird is like. Damian isn't super nice to people and he is rough around the edges, but if the writers actually pay attention he pretty much only punches up (or at least equal) when he's being mean. like he treats *everyone* who is a superhero pretty similar when they just meet in that he's not impressed with them, generally verbally aloof, and thinks he doesn't need them and can do it better than them. and he's generally nice to civilians his age or younger. like i actually can't think of anything i've seen with him that i've read that has him being mean to a civilian kid his age or younger.

which is like. not very bully-esque in my opinion if he's only being mean to people he doesn't really have power over. it's generally to people who would be regarded as equals or authority figures TBH. part of me wonders if its like 'no don't you get it you SHOULD be acting like these guys are better than you rather than like you're better than them' which is like. not good

🌞, 💖, ✅ for the fic asks! xx

Thanks for the asks @logicgunn

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Not so much! Fanfic is often me avoiding doing things or too fatigued to do things or taking a break from doing things so on work days I might crawl into bed and write to rest my body from sitting up (i use speech-to-text). But nothing gets written in the mornings because I barely function.

💖 What made you start writing?

I started writing when I was 6 and had a poem published in the school magazine, which at the time I thought was not up to much but looking back it was impressive for a 6 year old. I started writing a novel-length fanfic when I was about 11, although I didn't know about fanfic then. I never wanted to be anything but a writer but now I'm glad I (mostly) don't do it professionally because when I do it pays so badly and can be soul-destroying to boot.

I started seriously writing fanfic one day when I was mad at the show's writers on Stargate Atlantis.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

I'm guessing others would notice stuff I wouldn't, but I think probably even when I'm writing porn I have a tendency to want characters to sort out their psychological issues and go to therapy. Maybe that's just a quality of the fandom I write in but I'm a one-fandom human just now.

I would ask you back but I see you've been as deluged as I have (hence time iot took to reply, overwhelm!) 💜

This is the most champagne problem, I realize, but my debut is going to be a lead title at a major imprint, and I'm getting really nervous the closer we get to pub. I always hoped I'd be successful obviously, but wasn't prepared for anything like this. It's hard to comprehend on the scale they're hinting at. Have you had any clients who were majorly successful sort of suddenly? Do you have any advice on how to handle it based on their experiences?

I have! I really think you should enjoy every scrap of fun stuff that comes your way, relish it, bask in it take lots of pictures of cool stuff -- if you start to make extra money FOR GOD'S SAKE SAVE IT TO PAY YOUR TAXES.

Write as much as you can when you can, like in this "before time" -- because later, when you are hectically promoting your book and running all over creation, you will have a lot less quiet time to write. But guess what? People will still expect a next book! Hopefully an even better one than this one! But you'll have less time and space to write it! Sooo.... sure, give yourself a couple weeks after launch to promote and whatever but then figure out how to carve WRITING TIME into your schedule somehow, whatever that looks like for you, and keep it sacred.

This is going to sound like a downer and I don't mean it to be, but I think the main thing to realize is, regardless of how "big" this launches -- it doesn't actually change anything. Like, it might FEEL like things have changed -- but actually, not really. (And that's OK, as long as you know it!).

If you are in a bad relationship, or you are depressed or anxious or whatever -- sudden dramatic success is not going to fix it. You will still have the same problems, just now with more deadlines and pressure added. So please DO consider or continue therapy or meds or whatever solutions for the underlying problems, because 'cool book stuff' is not the fix your imagination might have told you it would be.

Keep your head on your shoulders and your feet in real life, rather than getting caught up in the Internet of it all. Definitely cherish your close and trusted writer friends -- but also, keep up with some real life friends who don't know or care what books are, who are perfectly happy to root for you but also won't blow smoke about it because they don't actually have an interest in the weird world of publishing. Spend lots of time with your family and go outside a lot.

Maybe your book will be a besteller -- but Bestseller or Lead Title status or whatever also doesn't mean that your book is ACTUALLY BETTER THAN any other book that didn't list or that isn't a lead title. I know you know this -- but the thing is, that some people (particularly people on the internet) will appear out of nowhere once you start to have public success and seriously start to pump you up. Suddenly you have a bunch of folks praising you or adulating you or talk about how AMAAAAZING your book is -- and while I'm certain (most of them) are legit well-wishers who have the best of intentions, they are also living in a fantasy world - don't let them drag you into it.

Being able to put "NYT Bestseller" in your twitter bio doesn't mean that you will even earn out your advance, or come close. You might - but it's no guarantee, even with bestseller status. It just means you sold more than other books THAT WEEK, it doesn't mean you are now rich, or famous, or life is better. It's just a cool thing, but in the scheme of things, is not particularly meaningful REALLY despite how people start to act about it.

In other words - Don't get a big head, because today's "superstar" can truly be forgotten tomorrow. There will always be ups AND downs in this business if you stick around long enough. NYT bestsellers still get rejections, authors with some hits still also usually have books that tank, and on the flip side, people who have been toiling away in obscurity will sometimes gets a hit nobody could have predicted. These are just facts. I rep several authors who have many dozens or even hundreds of books published over the course of decades, and you can SEE that success never looks like scaling a mountain that never stops going up, or scaling a mountain with an easy chair on top and just parking there -- it's hills and valleys and sometimes gulches and sometimes weird spikes (and sometimes you can be on a hill AND in a gulch at the same time!!!) -- anyway, hopefully you have good, sensible shoes.

So if you start with the realization that all the *fancy* stuff is just abnormal and not something PERMANENT, and that's FINE -- you're a lot less likely to have a difficult "pride goeth before a fall" moment, you know?

arciam said: I really mean no offense, and I've definitely made the mistake of taking comedy shows way too seriously in the past, but if people really look at WWDITS (of all things) as "YES, this is the show that is finally going to adress my terrible religious upbringing and be real cathartic and healing about it" then they're truly setting themselves up for failure in a major way.

--------

Gonna be real with you, if you feel the need to preface your reply to someone with that much “I mean no offense BUT”, you might want to reconsider hitting send. Because whatever you’re saying is probably going to annoy the shit out of them.

That said, I’m gonna choose to respond to this in a constructive way.

To start with... just about every show about vampires has a cadre of fans who watch it specifically for that reason. I’m not going to write you a whole academic paper here (partially because people have already written hundreds of thousands of words on this exact subject) but yes, queer people and those who have distanced themselves from mainstream religion often see themselves in horror and monstrous characters. Vampires are a particular focal point for these groups, partially because vampires do set themselves in direct opposition to Christianity -- something that’s been displayed many times in this show. I’d go so far as to argue that it’s one big reason Guillermo has fixated on vampires. I think he’s built up vampires in his head as “these creatures are everything I am not but everything I want myself to be” and the way they run counter to his religious upbringing is part of that. I’d offer up my evidence, but being real, I don’t really think you care.

The fact of the matter here is that we have a comedy show that has repeatedly brought up religion, particularly Catholicism and New Religious Movements, as something that can be very harmful to vulnerable people. (Like children or vampires going through a midlife crisis.) It has used this even in episodes that are designed to further character development and, yeah, invoke feelings in the audience. I don’t think it’s shocking that people then expect those ideas to carry through to the rest of the writing, especially as the show has started to take its characters and their emotional problems more seriously.

Honestly, I think it’s depressing that there are people in fandom who see people actually emotionally and intellectually engaging with media as a bad thing. I don’t see the point in going up to fans and telling them that you think they’re getting too invested or that they’re dumb for expecting more out of a show they love. I do not expect a show like WWDITS to be therapy for me -- that’s what I pay my therapist for. But it’s also fair for fans to discuss missed opportunities and anger towards the writers when they say things in interviews that are rooted in homophobia. Obviously queer and ex-religious fans are going to feel this more keenly, especially when the show has loudly and explicitly positioned itself as a welcoming environment for people who are queer and/or questioning religion.

I don’t think you’re actually here to discuss these topics; I think you’re here to leave a really condescending reply in someone’s inbox. Your motivations are your own, I suppose. But it’s not a bad thing that other people are considering these ideas, nor is it silly for fans to feel upset right now.

I have expected from WWDITS exactly what it’s given me. But yeah, I do expect quite a bit more from its IRL writers.

★彡[ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴛ’ꜱ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ]彡★

Pairing : Kim Mingyu x Male reader 

Words : 1.7k

Genre : Angst, best friend to strangers

TW : the fight in the end gets toxic, friends talking about sex life

Music: Stay with me by Chanyeol and Punch

A/N : This was requested . I did change the plot given in the request little bit to suit the writing. Hope the person who requested this likes it! Feedback’s are much appreciated !

“Don’t tell me you are writing another poem for your so called mysterious lover Y/N.” Mingyu said while plopping down on the bean bag he had bought from a garage sale. Though nothing in his and his best friend's college dorm lasted longer than a year—not even the television or Mingyu's girlfriends—he wriggled a little before settling and approving that, surprisingly, the bean bag had lasted for more than a year. He was proud of himself for making such an excellent investment. The one thing that undoubtedly endured longer was Y/N's feelings for a mysterious guy who Mingyu made heroic attempts to get to learn about but ended up being like his physics class, failing of course.

“Don’t come crawling to me for money when I become a successful writer from these lovesick poem while you suffer in corporate.”

“I am sorry to break your bubble of thoughts, but it’s not me who does the crawling, I am usually the one making them be-”

Not wanting to learn about his closest friend's incredibly  busy and kinky-ass sex life, . YN grabbed whatever was next to his hand and threw at Mingyu.

“OW-, that was a fucking remote which now two broken buttons and the cells are-”

“Master roleplay whatever you want, but don't tell me what  you're doing."

“You never know, you might just pick my kinks instead of habits, DON’T YOU DARE HIT ME WITH A TRAY!”

After picking up a random object to strike him once more,  Y/N saw that it was a tray. Y/N was thinking of hitting him with it since the man was  causing him enough trauma to last the rest of his life.

“I should seriously pay for your anger issue therapy Y/N, your violent outbursts are scaring me.”

“Not more than your violent vampiric behaviour on the girls you bring to this flat-” Y/N stood up, trying to be as dramatic as possible while circling around the flat, “And I-”, pointing at himself “Have to escort them every time while giving them ointment. Seriously control your canines.”

“You have a point.”

“Thank you King Mingyu.”

“So you are into King-servant roleplay-”

“SHUT UP KIM MINGYU!”

“Alright!, just letting you know, Hoshi is having a party tonight, wanna come?”

“You enjoy, you know what I prefer-”

“A good night in with Taylor swift in the background, writing lad in front and KFC at the side. Y/N just smiled at him, Mingyu returning the smile gladly, they had been friends since middle school, Mingyu knew this much about him.“Then Y/N, enjoy your night in while I spend my night in as well.” Mingyu just winked and left, Y/N still trying to understand the meaning of what he just said, but once understanding it, he wanted nothing but to smack Mingyu and asking him where he got such cringe lines from.

Mingyu had left hours ago and Y/N had just finished S2 of the Penthouse, he was utterly confused as to what was happening in the drama, but continued watching as he had nothing to do. He was curious as what Mingyu was doing and decided to text him, but rather he did not need to. Wonwoo, one of their mutual friends had posted a streak of photos, in which he was clearly visible and was shirtless with drinks in hand, and in another one he was in the background making out with a girl. It should not have bothered Y/N but it did, it bothered a lot as he hated the guy he wrote poems about be with a new girl with every new week. He hated how Mingyu shared his love life with him, when he clearly wanted to be a main character in his love life. He wanted to have him in his arms, but he could only have him in his heart. But then he could not stop Mingyu from doing whatever he pleases, he would rather watch him be happy and be love sick instead.

Deciding to not dwell on it further, he switched off his phone and made his bed to sleep on, pondering how long can we face Mingyu with his underlying love for him.

Y/N woke up the next morning with a dull headache, it was a Sunday luckily, which meant no clasees for him to attend. Walking into the kitchen, he found Mingyu’s jacket and shoes thrown across the entrance. He decided to go peek in Mingyu’s room, just to check up on him. He was met with a sleeping Mingyu, sprawled across the bed, still wearing the outfit from night before, and with the smell of alcohol coming, it was evident that he had not washed up before going to bed.

Y/N decided to make brunch for him as well as Mingyu since it was nearly noon, Mingyu was more of the cook between them but Y/N could manage to make pancakes, at least that’s what he thought at least.

“When you try to cook, at least be a little quiet.” Y/N turned around to see Mingyu walking up to the kitchen counter, still half asleep and probably recovering from a hung over.

“Sorry, not my fault I was trying to make some food.”

“Someone woke up from the side of bed today.”

“Help yourself.” Y/N offered him the pancakes and syrup and left Mingyu alone in the kitchen before returning to his room. Mingyu just sat there dumbfounded as to what he had done to make this little 5 7’ guy so angry.

“I swear this guy has mood swings way too often.” Mingyu muttered before actually gobbling down the pancakes, not bothering if they lacked a little sugar.

The whole day passed by with Mingyu trying to figure out what he had done to make Y/N into a grumpy ass grandpa who just gave silent treatment or at rare moments, a yes or a no.

Y/N on the other hand was being destroyed by the guilt that he was behaving like this to the love his life due to some stupid doubts in his mind. Y/N was confused, should he confess his feelings or let them stay hidden. Y/N’s abrupt thinking were brought to a halt when he heard his door’s room slam open and there stood a Mingyu, his mood undreadable. Mingyu made his way to Y/N’s bed and made him comfortable in front of him, getting ready to confront his best friend.

“Y/N, I have known you since you wore those hideous skinny jeans, what’s wrong? Is it soemthing I have done? Is it soemthing that I said? Just let me know for god’s sake! I can’t tolerate with you going all silent mode and not even letting me, your best friend actually know the reason-”

“I love you.”

“Huh?”

“You asked the reason, I love you.”

“Seriously Y/N! That’s it? And I though here I was getting shit about talking to you about my sex life! I love you too dummy!”

“I mean it not friends way.”

Mingyu did not quite comprehend and just stared at Y/N, his asking him to repeat if what he just said was true.

“I have liked you for years now, leave liked, more like loved you. It’s those girls of yours, I just get jealous of them being near you, them getting to be with you while I just be on the corner supporting your relationship while I want to be the one with you. I have liked you through your cringe phase of your shaved head, your Pokémon shirt summer, yourhigh school crush over a senior when we were just sophomores and the summer you got your glow up and tuned into this handsome hunk and yet still decided to be friends with a person like me.”

“I will always be your friend Y/N, just because I am little handsome now doesn’t mean I leave my childhood friend.”

“But I don’t want to be your friend, I want to be your lover.”

“Y/N, I-”

“Haven’t you figured out yet? There are no more love poems to write, it’s the love that’s killing me. You gave my scattered book of life an index, a reason to stay, I wanted our story be the tales, yet it seemed alive from only one side, when the pages scattered yet they were on my lips.

“You really will be a good poet Y/N, cuz what you just said now was-”

“Stop ignoring the topic Mingyu, I just confessed. I need an answer.”

“You just dropped the I love you bomb on me and you except an answer?”

“Don’t put the whole blame on me!”

“I am not Y/N puttting the blame, Y/N!”

“Then tell me the answer, make or break my heart.”

“Stop making this a life- death situation!”

“I am letting my love for you kill me!”

“Serisouly Y/N, all I wanted was to have breakfast and talk with you, not get asked out by you!”

“Mingyu, it’s - , I never said to you but I hoped you knew it deep down.”

“Y/N, I am sorry but this is not what I wanted, I wanted you to stay with me as my best friend, support me with my wild ideas, party with me on my wedding, become the coolest uncle to my kids, but then you had to fall in love.”

“You are putting this as if falling in love is crime.”

“With your best friend, it is.”

With that, Mingyu got up and without looking back at his partner of crime of years, said the sentence which was the last straw.

“I just wanted to tell you that last night I asked her out. And by the look of your face, I know you know who I asked out.”

With that being said, he slammed the door and went to what Y/N presumed to be his room before breaking down completely. His worst nightmare had come true. Y/N’s though we’re all over the place, but there was a lingering feeling the heart.

His heart used to beat for the eyes where he saw his soulmate, but now his heart beats for the eyes where he sees a stranger.

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHeath – What To Do if You're Worried About #Suicide

A #parent's guide to helping a #child in distress Writer: Nadine Kaslow, PhD Clinical Expert: Nadine Kaslow, PhD - Does talking about #suicide make a #child more likely to attempt #suicide? - What should I say to a #child who is feeling #suicidal? - What should I do if I’m worried my #child is close to attempting #suicide? - Quick Read - Full Article - Show the love - Express empathy - Prioritize the positive - Minimize conflict - Stay in touch - Know your child’s friends - Talk openly - Find a clinician who’s a good match - Participate in therapy - Take emergency measures If you think your #child might be feeling #suicidal, talk with them about it. Sometimes people are afraid that if they bring it up, it will make the #child more likely to attempt #suicide, but that’s not true. Showing your #child that they have someone safe to talk to makes them feel understood. It might sound obvious, but start by making sure your #child knows how much you love them, and how important they are to you. Pay plenty of attention to them and let them know that you empathize with how they feel. Try not to tell them that they shouldn’t feel the way they do. Instead, try for simple validation: “That sounds really hard,” or “I’ve felt that way too.” When you’re worried about a #child, it’s easy to get into a cycle of being upset and critical. Instead, try to find time to just hang out, chat, and do fun things together. Keeping tabs on #kids is another way to keep them safe. Watch their #socialmedia, get in touch with their #school, and talk with their friends and even their friends’ #parents. If your #child needs professional support, it’s important to find a #therapist who has a lot of experience with #suicidal #teenagers. Your child’s pediatrician can give you names of #therapists they trust. Make sure your #child feels comfortable with the #therapist. Both #CBT (#cognitivebehavioraltherapy) and #DBT (#dialecticalbehavioraltherapy) are very useful for #suicidal kids. The #therapist might also recommend that your #child take medication to feel better. Finally, if you think your #child is in danger of attempting #suicide now or soon, call #911 or get them to a hospital right away. It’s very important to take threats of #suicide seriously. What do you do when you’re worried that a child might be feeling #suicidal? First and foremost, it’s important that you talk to him about your concerns in a calm, non-accusatory manner. Sometimes when parents are very worried, they end up saying, “Don’t think this way,” or “You shouldn’t feel that way,” and they come across not as loving and caring, as intended, but as critical. #Children respond negatively to that. So you really need to be as calm and non-accusatory as you can when talking to them. Show the love It may seem obvious to you that you love your #children, and that they know you love them. But when they’re having a hard time, kids need to hear over and over again from you how much you love them, and how much you care about them. It’s not good enough to just say, “You know I love you.” You need to convey that in small and big ways. These days, we all have so many things we’re juggling that kids can end up unsure of where they fit in, and whether you really have time for them. Let them know how important they are to you. Express empathy It’s also important to validate a child’s feelings. You want to make statements that express empathy for her distress: “It sounds like that was really difficult.” “I know how painful that can be.” “I know what that’s like. I’ve felt that way.” Telling them not to feel that way, to “pull it together,” isn’t as helpful as saying, “What is it that you’re concerned about, and how can I help you?” If you’re really concerned about your #child it’s important that you encourage him to get professional help, and that you convey that getting help isn’t weak, but something you would respect him for doing, and that you would work together to accomplish. Prioritize the positive Another important way to prevent #suicidalbehavior is to prioritize interacting with your #child in positive ways. Some times we get into a sort of vicious cycle with a #child. The #child does something concerning; the #parent gets critical; the #kid does something more concerning; the #parents get more upset. All interactions turn contentious. Interacting in positive ways means doing fun things together, hanging out and chatting about things that aren’t controversial, that aren’t difficult. Minimize conflict So choose your battles wisely with your #kid. It’s part of normal development for #adolescents to rebel, and you need to pick what you’re going to set limits about, and the rest of the time you want to focus on the positive connections. It also helps to try to increase your child’s involvement in positive experiences. #Kids who are involved in a lot of engaging or fun activities tend to fare better. Your goal as a #parent is to reassure struggling #kids that they won’t feel like this forever, and you can help do this by promoting positive experiences. When #kids feel #suicidal it’s often because they feel hopeless and can’t imagine things being better. Stay in touch It’s also really important to monitor your child’s whereabouts when they aren’t with you, whether online or out of the house. You can’t stop your #kids from texting and Facebooking and using #Twitter. That’s normal social interaction at this point. So you need to get on #Facebook yourself, learn how to tweet, learn how to text. And use those channels to stay on top of what your #kids are doing. Know your child’s friends In the “real” world, it’s also critical to know your child’s friends—to have a good sense of who they are and to have a connection with them. Sometimes it’s harder the older your #kids get, but it’s really important you do that. You should know the #parents of their friends and be in touch with them, too. And you want to communicate regularly with your child’s #school to ensure her safety and care in the #school setting. Don’t hesitate to use the #school and the people in the #school as partners in your child’s care when you have concerns. Talk openly But again, the crucial first step: If you think your #child might be #suicidal, talk with him about it, ask him about #suicidalthoughts. Sometimes people are afraid that if they talk about it it will make #suicidalthoughts more real, and #suicide more likely to happen. But the truth is that if a #child feels that he has someone safe in the family that he can talk to, he feels better. He feels more understood. He feels like there’s more empathy for him. And that gives you an opening to explain the value of psychotherapy, and possibly medication for the feelings that are causing him so much pain. Find a clinician who’s a good match To get a referral to a #mentalhealthprofessional, you can consult your child’s #doctor or a #psychologist at his #school. I recommend that you look for a #mentalhealthprofessional who has experience with #suicidal #teenagers. Not everybody is comfortable with, or has experience with #kids who are #suicidal. And when you’re interviewing people, it’s important to pick somebody you—and your child—feel comfortable with. So if your son says, “I just can’t connect with him; I don’t feel comfortable with him,” you want to take that seriously. Of course, if he does that with the second person and then the third person, at some point you may need to say, “Well, of these three people, who did you feel best with?” Participate in therapy And once you’ve found a clinician, participate actively in therapy with your #child. You need to be a partner in your child’s therapy. The more the #child feels like you really care, the better. And that’s not just one #parent. When somebody in the family is #suicidal it’s a family affair, and everybody needs to help out and be engaged. There are several kinds of therapy that have been shown in research trials to be particularly useful for #suicidal #kids. One is #cognitivebehavioraltherapy, and that helps change kids’ thoughts, which in turn changes their feelings and their actions. And #dialecticalbehaviortherapy is another approach. It’s a more mindfulness-based approach, and we know that that’s helpful for particular types of #suicidal #kids, particularly those who have what’s called borderline #personalitydisorder, and lots of #suicidalthoughts. And, finally, some #kids, particularly those who are seriously depressed or anxious or have #ADHD, may benefit from medication in combination with psychotherapy. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Take emergency measures Of course, if you’re worried that if you don’t do something right now your #child will attempt #suicide, you need to call #911, or whatever the emergency #mentalhealth access number is in your community, or take your #child to the hospital. #Suicidalthoughts or #behaviors are an emergency, and must be considered as such. For more information and resources on #suicide see the APA’s #suicide help page. Read the full article

Anguish Degree (A Non-Critical Essay)

What happens when the man is no longer critical?

I had to ask myself this question after another foray into the malingering spiral that is trying to figure out why I settled for an english degree.  

After a sigh and harrumph, I decided to try a new angle: return to the uncreative online domain of my alma mater; and let them tell it.  What exactly were they trying to impart for my journey ahead into adulthood?  How exactly can I squeeze a dollar out of a fool with my consistently A+ to B analyses of Beecher and Stowe?

“We value the importance of studying literature across cultures; fostering lifelong readers and writers; engaging multiple forms of textual literacy; practicing the arts of creative and critical writing; and championing the key role of the humanities in higher education.”

So you wanted to make sure I read and write for a lifetime?  I guess that’s admirable...

The last half seems a little more pertinent: Practicing the arts of creative and critical writing.  

Ok.  Is someone going to pay me for that?  I’m actually laughing about this.  This isn’t an indictment.  I’m just wondering why didn’t someone stop me?!! I mean, what in the actual fuck is this?! Don’t mistake my words: I’m enjoying writing a bunch of profanity and half cooked rambling that almost no one will see.  It isn’t therapy or even my 3rd favorite thing to do in my spare time; but there is something funny about someone reading this and thinking “This cunt actually thinks he’s important or something...”.  Or...perhaps the true comedy is if someone takes this seriously when I clearly don’t.  

No...this is creative writing.  This is me having a laugh...not full time, not part time...not as a temp...but for “exposure”.  

Zeroing in, the second part...about critical writing...that’s actually more concerning.  Fuck that last bit.  That’s a college wanking to itself in the mirror.  

No...the second part is...concerning because...I don’t think I want to get paid for being critical.  I don’t think I have that one in me anymore.  Even the things I write here, that appear critical of the school or others...I’m just saying it because it sounds funny in my head.  I’m no victim and not a one of these external entities are my aggressor.  We’re all in it together.  Self important dumb dumbs.  

I just want to know what happens when you aren’t interested in being critical.  Especially because I think I live in a day and age where being “critical” is where the money resides.  

I mean...I have the raw material to write a book, essay, article, etc about: being black (low hanging fruit, for sure), being black and male, being black and male and political? But I’d really have to lie for that one.  They say you can’t be apolitical...but I think, if you accept politicians and our system as they are, you can easily be apolitical without being the least bit apathetic or even lightly stirred...

um...let’s see...black...oh!  Growing up black without a father figure. Growing up black and not being accepted as being black enough for most black kids...(thanks to my black friends for hanging in there with me.  No one would’ve blamed you for jumping ship...) um...see...even coming up with this list is fucking tiresome.  I’ve already told myself to “shut the fuck up” several times in my head.  It’s so...uninspired for me.  Let those who have the spleen for these things write a most searing, scathing, radical indictment of the human condition; and may it become a New York Times Bestseller.

I just...I don’t want to.  I want to love everyone and bless them where they are.  Right fucking now.  I don’t need you to be different or be better to me or conform to my “ideals”.  I can tease out the blessing of your existence on my own.  

You’re doing the best you can right now.  If you truly knew better...if you were somehow “better”, you’d most definitely do “better”.  And no, not “better” because I wrote a book about how you’re “worse”.  No, I want the “better” from you that comes because you see what’s lovable in you; so you see what’s lovable in me.  You actually see it.  

Don’t do anything for me.  Be good to yourself and the rest will take care of itself.  

Read those last two sentences.  Who the fuck is going to walk into a Barnes & Noble, and pay $20 for a paperback copy of that?!?!?!

hdjdjdkf omg waking up to your tags on my fics - i am blushing, tearing up, rolling around on my bed giggling like a mad man😍🥰💖 thank you so much 🥺💖💕 AH SERIOUSLY YOU MADE MY WHOLE LIFE <3 *HAPPILY PAYS FOR YOUR THERAPY* n im sorry for gushing in your ask box but i just couldn’t help it & no i will not be taking screenshots to look at these again for the rest of forever heh😉💕 i hope you’re having the most lovely day🥰💖

HI OMG ITS YOU

ITS OK YOU'RE WELCOME IN MY ASKBOX you're so sweet for sending this ask bye 😭 (head in hands) DHKJAHDKA im glad to see my tags made your day :D keep up the good work in your fics!! you're such a talented writer <3 and NO UUUUUU I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY AHEAD

If you can, I need help

Hey everyone,

My name is Mako; we might be very close, or you might be following me from a distance and know nothing about me. Right now, I’m in a painful and precarious situation, and I’m desperate enough to hope that some of you might be able to help. I’m disabled, and I’ve been for most of my life. Because of that, I haven’t been able to find a job, since most employers don’t want a cripple in their ranks (yeah, that’s something I’ve heard in interviews before). I’ve managed to start the legalities to be a freelance artist and graphic designer, but the paperwork takes a long time and even when I’ll have my licence to work, it still will be some time before I can support myself. And I desperately need to.

Right now, I have no other choice but to live with someone who’s been abusing me for as long as I can remember. All the money I had put on the side from odd jobs and commissions is going into paying for therapy, because living with them has taken such a toll on me that I’m constantly on the verge of a breakdown, and resisting taking drastic measures against myself is getting harder and harder. So that’s where all the money goes. My only option to escape them, would be to just leave and take my chances in the streets. It’s getting to a point where this is becoming an option I’m considering more and more, despite the season and my disability. But before I seriously start thinking about this, I’m taking a chance with you all.

I’m an artist, graphic designer and a writer. I’ve also been a video editor and a sound engineer. I have skills, and I desperately need money. The person I’m living with wants me to pay for my stay in their house, which I can’t, and that only makes them angrier and more abusive. So if you can, please, please help me.

I can take art commissions and writing commissions, I can do video work if you need it, honestly I’ll take anything at this point. I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I’m getting hopeless. If you can’t help in this way, please reblog this, share it around. The more people know, the more chance there is someone needs me.

Thank you all, and I hope whatever generosity you send my way is sent back to you.

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

Ted Lasso 2x02 thoughts

Even though they didn’t have many scenes together, Rebecca and Ted’s conversation about Absolutely Not Needing Therapy was heart-breakingly good. Please get these folks on the couch by the end of the season!

Oh God what happened to Ted’s father?! We keep on having little snippets of insight that indicates his childhood wasn’t all sunshine and roses, and yet from his references to his parents it feels like he did love them enough to remember them fondly. I have a horrible feeling that ‘he was harder on himself than he ever was on me’ suggests some sort of addiction or possibly even suicide attempt, but we’ll have to wait and see. (And the fact that Ted’s driving impulse to bring Jamie back wasn’t ‘he’s a good player’ but ‘he has a shit dad’ speaks volumes.)

I love these little snippets of Silly!Rebecca we’re getting: joking with Higgins and (in my mind) paying Sharon back for the temerity of not adoring Ted’s biscuits by making her welcome gift be bottled water.

Roy Kent loving white orchids and stanning li’l Kokoruda is something I’m here for. Also if Roy was a football pundit I would actually watch football shows on the TV, just saying.

Last week’s ep where Dani was seen waking up with two beautiful women felt like a bit of a throwaway gag just to remind us that footballers can totally get it - so I quite like that that was balanced out by Roy eating out Keeley while she watches his farewell speech. Whattaman whattaman.

Also thank you to every single person in that writers’ room for not making female masturbation a big deal. 

Seeing more of Sharon and getting more insight into her character made me smile - it feels like her aim is to present herself as a 100% professional at first to make sure she’s taken seriously (you can only imagine that as a black woman she’s had to work twice as hard to be respected in the sports industry)  but I like the little flickers of humour in her and the insight we’re getting into her character.

‘Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.’ However much I may want to throttle Jamie, I can’t actively wish him off the screen, not when Phil Dunster delivers lines like that.

I knew that the reality TV foray had to be something related to his dad, given that to a hyper-masculine character a romance-based reality tv show would be considered the ‘soft option’. 

I’m also really glad Jamie’s taking steps to improve his life - seeking out Keeley was a nice touch - but also that they’re not just having him come back to the club and be welcomed in with open arms. The message that if you’re a complete jackass it’s good to turn your life around around and yet not everyone is going to be bending over backwards to help you do it is a really important one. 

SAM. Everything about that scene - from the scriptwriters letting the ‘little ray of sunshine’ one actually be angry, to Ted letting Sam say his piece rather than straight away announce Jamie wasn’t coming back because he needed to vent, to us being reminded that Jamie’s dickbaggery had genuine consequences on the team, to Sam requesting punishment laps because he felt bad about yelling at Ted - was sheer perfection.

Little sidenote: I loved that when Sam mouthed off at Ted Isaac’s the one who snapped back at him. I suspect Sam’s going to end up being team captain by the end of the show, but I do love Isaac ‘Rolos’ McAdoo so it’s nice that the show isn’t just using him as a placeholder - we get to see him stepping up and actually being a captain.

Another little underrated moment: while it might be because only a few of the team are speaking cast members, I thought it was interesting that it’s Jamie’s former supporters Colin and Isaac who we see upset that Jamie’s returning. It shows just how much the team’s come together that even these guys don’t want him back.

I know everyone’s worried about Nate’s sudden abrasiveness but I think we get a little insight into it when Higgins’ new office change is announced, seemingly without Ted and Beard consulting Nate about it. There’s a moment when he’s clearly taken aback and even a little hurt that no-one’s actually asked him, and I wonder if that’s where his sharpness originates - throwing your weight around because you don’t want to be put back into that position of feeling powerless and insignificant. Like, I want our old Nate back but I also get where this arc is coming from and I think it’s a totally realistic development.

(I know it’s an ask but I’d really like to see Jamie, Isaac and Colin apologise properly to Nate for hassling him last season.)

(Also I love how we saw a little of the former dorky Nate when he and Higgins utterly failed to do a highfive. I’m still holding out hope for return of the patented Nate Strut!)

I am so excited that the next episode description mentions ‘A player’s return is not welcomed by the team’; because a: I am always here for redemption arcs being something you work hard for, and b: I am always here for more Richmond FC shenanigans.