Guys I think we should kill her

Can I request a Vox x Trans!(FtM) reader? Perhaps some fluff- like maybe the reader gets sorta made fun of for not being cis and goes to Vox to complain/cry about it to him??

Idk, this is my first request 😭

"I just wanna talk to 'em." -- Vox.

------- Summary: You get outed and harassed for being transgender and Vox won't let it slide. Pairing: Vox x (TRANS) MALE! Reader Warnings: Angst, Transphobia, Possessive behavior, Implied NSFW. Enjoy. (+ also, happy Easter to anyone who celebrates!) --------

You were used to it, the harassment and all. Before you found yourself, struggling to push denial away and become the man you truly were -- there was judgement everywhere. No matter where you were, it came in all shapes in sizes. The more you started passing, the less it started to happen. But you'd always remember those humiliating moments, those moments of feeling like the odd one out. You sat there and took it like a man, cause what else were you supposed to do? When you found yourself in hell, you asked yourself if it was because of who you were. That was quickly shot down the moment you realized it was because you took a life. Totally forgot about that, silly you! Though, looking down at your new form, you were immediately disappointed that whoever organized the designs, couldn't have at least got this one issue of your fucking back. Maybe that was your punishment, because truthfully -- all you wished for was to be a biological man. Why would they give that to you if you were in...Hell...? Shit, you must have hit your fucking head or something. You immediately found your place in Hell, the Vee's made you feel at home. You knew you were a shitty person right off that bat if that's how you felt about these three. They were all terrible, and you fucking loved it. Especially Vox. You found yourself favoriting his bratty personality over the other two. They took note of this, teasing you about it constantly. Vox was blinded at the time of all your non-subtle hints, too blinded by his own anger of some fucking buck making himself known into Hell. Eventually you two tied the knot, not in a marital way, but if it was you'd make him wear the bridal dress. Not because of who you once were perceived to be but because you thought he'd look way better in it than you would. You told him this and he just straight up walked away from you. "Absolutely FUCKING NOT!" He exclaimed, not turning his back to face you. You let out a mischievous giggle. You truly felt less anxious around these three. Your boyfriend, a lovely sassy woman who you considered a sister, and an absolute fucking freak.

--- "Hey babe, can you remind Vel about the dinner we have later tonight with that new client? Knowing her stingy ass, she probably forgot already. She takes like 3 light years to get ready." Vox requested, groaning at the end of his sentence at the thought of Velvette putting together an outfit. You watched it occur, it was...life changing for sure. You nodded and gave him a thumbs up, leaning over to kiss his screen. "What're you leaving me forever and never coming back?" He joked, turning to you from the chair he was sitting in. You shrugged your shoulders with a smile as you walked off, waving at him with just your index finger. It was just a silly thing you did. You trademarked it. Making your way downstairs, you saw a group of people in Velvet's station, assumedly models as they looked physically stunning. You scouted the area for Velvet, not finding even a glimpse of her hair around. You turned to the group of models, your face flushed. "Excuse me." You spoke as loudly as possible. They all turned to you with a raised brow and an irritated look on their faces. One man smiled widely, "What can I do for you little girl?" He laughed, the rest joining. You raised a brow, your face clearly showing your anger. "Not a chick, nor am I little. Have any of you pricks seen Velvet?" You ask, emphasizing on the insult. "Are you a transvestite?" "Maybe he's just gay." "What's in your pants, little man?" "It's getting embarrassed, look at it's face!" You felt the tears swell up in your throat, you begin scratching at your hip as an attempt to take out your own anger. "Fuck you cunts." You mumble, walking away as fast as you could, not allowing them to see you cry. You felt the hot streams of tears rolling down your face as you made your way back up to Vox's office. You slammed the door open and began yelling. "Who the fuck are those douche bags downstairs?! Why would you guys hire them?!" You scream, the testosterone getting to you. Vox jumped up from his spot and rushed over to you, his screen like face glitching out in anxiety.

"What?! What people?! The fuck are you talking about?? I literally asked you to just go talk to Velvet??" He didn't respond to strong emotions from others well, so he just began getting angry and nervous back at you. "Those fuckers downstairs! Kept fucking asking me about my junk!" You cry, wiping your tears. You hadn't dealt with this in so long you forgot how to collect yourself. "Babe people do that all the time here, it's nothing personal." "THIS WAS PERSONAL! They asked me if I was a fucking transvestite, making fun of me saying I look like a chick, this and that! It fucking sucked! I sat there and did fucking nothing and ran the fuck away. like a shit ass fucking coward." At this point you were swearing like a sailor who forgot how to curse, you were so angry you didn't know what to say. Nobody had any right to treat you that way. What made them think that they could? You could see Vox getting visibly angrier each word you spoke. "Those mother fuckers." He grumbled, patting your back before heading downstairs with a walk of purpose. You stood there, rubbing your eyes realizing... you totally just got them fucking killed. again. You smiled, the realization of how Vox cares for you settling in and pushing the anger away. You turned to sit by the door, a smile on your face still as your tears dried away, you hummed whatever you could to calm you down. There was screaming, pleading, god knows whatever noise you make when you get torn in half being made from down in Velvets station. Oh, what a pity. Suddenly it stopped, and you heard Velvets voice -- she was screaming at Vox, clearly angry that she just lost her blood filled mannequins. You giggled. There were steps getting closer and closer, before Vox walked through the door, looking down at you. You looked up at him, your eyes lidded with a smile. "You okay?" You asked, hearts in your eyes. He shrugged and nodded gently, "I'm alright, you?" You giggled again as he picked you up from your spot on the ground and kissed you lovingly. "Your fucking insane." You mumble against his lips. "Mhm." He makes a noise in agreement, only making you laugh again and smacking the back of his TV head. "Velvet canceled the dinner by the way, if you wanna just stay here. And fuck." "Nice one." "Dude, I don't even know who said that?" "Me neither, dude." "Okay, it's not cool when you say it." "Say what, dude?" "Shut the fuck up." You hop out of his arms with another laugh. "We can do whatever you want, my love."

headcannons for spy, medic, scout, and sniper, with a transmasc S/O?

(Hell yea man, trans guy myself so this is right up my alley B) Thx for requesting! :D)

Spy, Medic, Scout and Sniper w/ a trans masc S/O!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

☆Spy☆

He took up drag both femme + masc in his younger years to help his disguises, so he’ll help you look more masculine 

“Mon chéri, you really must stop using gauze to bind, it is not doing your chest or yourself any favors. If you don’t have a proper binder you can use pantyhose, you know.”

He’d take you to help you get a tailored suit and put on a tie if you were never taught as a child

When you get the horrors (dysphoria and or period ) he’ll stay with you to help you in his smoking room

“Darling, will you please stop grabbing my knife so you’ll respawn without your period? It’s not gonna work, you’ve tried it before.”

“Ugh, fine. …can I pretty please get a kiss then?”

“...You’re not getting the cyanide in my teeth either.”

“Come on!”

☆Medic☆

He’s pretty well versed in this kind of thing, as an ex-doctor who isn’t bound by the law at all he’s definitely performed gender-affirming surgeries in secret in the past (for the price of a few unnecessary organs or course)

He’d offer to do your top + bottom surgery for the boyfriend discount of not stealing any of your body parts

He’s completely fine if you don’t want that though 

“It doesn’t matter what you have in your pants, schatz, what matters is that you have a man’s heart.”

“Aw, Ludwig—”

“And a man's kidney, lungs, ohoho! And an especially manly appendix.”

(it’s medic he’s gonna be a little silly)

The second you mention you’re on your period he immediately gets so much stuff for you, painkillers, a hot water bottle, blankets and snacks for you

Will pamper the hell out of you

If you’re getting hit with dysphoria he’ll reassure you

“I just- I just don’t feel like a man right now.”

“You? Not a man? Nonsense! If you weren’t a man, I wouldn’t be dating you, now would I?”

“I know, but-”

“But nothing, you are sehr männlich, and my mein Freund, those silly thoughts won’t change that.”

☆Scout☆

You’re gonna need to help him out a little bit

“So like– you’re a guy right? But you got a girl’s body or whatever, so is this gay or not?”

“It’s gay, Jeremy.”

“Okay, okay, just double-checkin’.”

If you’re on your period he tries to help in the main way he does with you: cuddles

He’d wrap his arms around your waist from behind and hold you and the hot water bottle pressed to your stomach close to him

Kisses your neck and just rambles about how handsome you are

“You’re a real hot guy, y’know that, prince? Jus’ makes you even stronger that you go through all this shit.”

“Shut up.”

“You picked the wrong guy to date if you wanted someone who could shut up, hotcakes. You’re stayin’ here and hearing about how handsome you are for a while.”

☆Sniper☆

Bro does not give a shit imma be real

“Mate, I couldn’t care less whether or not you’re a gal, a bloke, or a bloody alien. You’re sweet, and ya make me smile.”

Def relates to you with not fitting in with the other kids in childhood

If you’ve had top surgery y’all are chest scar bfs

When you get dysphoric he’ll get you two to do stuff to distract you

[quick, instantaneous, sudden] camping trips, hunting, hiking, or even trying to shoot at the blu base for funsies

Can’t be dysphoric when you’re running for your life, right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sorry for the ask so soon after my first one, but really, I would love to hear about any head canons you'd like to share! :O Do you have a favorite merc?

Don’t apologize for asks, I love asks! I even put it in my bio.

You couldn’t ask a parent to pick a favorite child could you??? ;_; (although I do think about sniper every day.) I’ll give you a headcanon for all of them then.

Scout

he retained some French from when he was little. He’s not good at it in general but is a lot better at understanding it than speaking it. He can eavesdrop on Spy but can’t conjugate être. I also like versions of Scout that speak Spanish when people hc his mom as Latina.

Sniper

one of my all time favorite headcanons is Māori Sniper. Also, if you’ve seen this blog you’ll know i believe he’s an autistic king.

Engineer

I know a lot of people tend to portray him as a tender, kind, empathetic guy but I genuinely don’t think he’s ever felt empathy or genuine compassion in his life. Sure he knows how to act sweet and polite and soft and nonthreatening all the time but no matter how long you’ve known him, if you get in his way he’s already designing a new machine in his head to blow you away into the last century.

Demoman

Objectum Demoman is one of my all-time favorites. For real. I will genuinely ship him with eyelander, idgaf.

Soldier

I really love trans soldier headcanons. His transmasc swag is off the charts. It’s hard to come up with hcs for Soldier because he’s so fucking wild you could put him in any situation and it could be true. Lived in a diving bell for two years? Sure. Favorite food is un-husked kernels of wheat? Absolutely. Replaced his dick with his big toe so he could use it to walk? I could go on.

Heavy

during and after he obtained his phd in Russian literature he published a number of fiction books under a pen name. They’re all tasteful romances with subplots of political intrigue. They gained high critical praise and are still moderately popular in bookstores in Russia and some neighboring countries. all the royalties from sales go to his family. He’s also an autistic king.

Pyro

I don’t have many headcanons for pyro because I like keeping the whole mystery. I don’t wonder what’s under the mask or come up with possible names because I think the whole of the character is that mystery. But I will say that as great as unicorns and rainbows and cupcakes are, there’s really nothing Pyro loves more than hanging out with Engie in his workshop and pretending to help.

Medic

as far as my own headcanons, I have a lot. Here’s some. He does not have a driver’s license—he taught himself to drive by stealing a car. He’s insecure about his voice but he talks too much to really care. He’s always wanted a motorcycle. He puts drugs in his morning coffee. He doesn’t like classical music, he listens to the top 40s on the radio and sings along. The peppier the better.

One of my favorite Medic headcanons I ever heard was that he only has medical training as a veterinarian and I think that’s hilarious because it could absolutely be real.

Spy

He’s smart but he’s not as highly educated as he wants people to think. He never went to a university and maybe never even finished school. Just like Scout, he’s so damn good at what he does that he can afford to be more concerned with appearance and showing off than anything else. They’re both committed to making people see what they want them to see and nothing deeper.

Just a question, based on the last post you made, how many baby daddies does thranduil has and who are they?

No hate our anything I’m just curious.

Np, np!

My Thranduil (whose trans) sleeps around a lot (partially bc he was born at lake cuivinen and before marriage and chastity were really A Thing, and partially bc the silvans genuinely don’t care about one’s sex life as long as it’s consensual) and well, sometimes things happen and he gets pregnant.

He has 4 kids (significantly less than what he could have, but they all have different “spermdonors” as they’re usually referred to as) biologically and 1 adopted.

The eldest is Lasgen, a girl (and head of Mirkwood’s black ops/assassination unit). She was also born at lake cuivinen and Thranduil had her when he was 38 (teen parent) mostly bc at the time the elves were still trying to figure out things like “age of majority” and since thranduil and his sisters were the first elves ever born, no one really knew anything about children, childhood, when they’d be an adult, etc. Basically it’s a mess. She’s also the only one who they know who the sperm donor is (i’m sorry for bombarding you will all this lore of my au).

Her dad is Ingwe’s dad. And ingwe’s dad (Ingen) is a JACKASS who has a habit of ding-dong-ditching. (Knocking elves up and then, when they refuse to sibmit to him when they find out they’re pregnant, he abandons them to find another victim) let me put it like this: Ingen was the OG conservative. And naturally, he’s a shit father.

Which leads us to the next (and only adopted) child: Ingwe, who is 2 months younger than Lasgen. Long story short: Thranduil and his sister (Miriel in this au) basically babysat elflings (mainly the -we’s) and Ingwe’s mother (who’s friends with elwe and olwe’s mom) drops inwe off there, not knowing at first that her husband also knocked up thranduil. Basically: drama. Ingwe’s ma is also a bitch, she follows her husbands lead on everything. So when Ingwe was about 28 he disowned his bio parents and was formally adopted by Thranduil.

Skip all the way to the end first age/beginning second age and Thranduil gets pregnant again. No one knows who the other parent is. And, tbh, no one cares.

This child is Lirion. He’s the most stoic of all his siblings, but don’t let the deadpanned face fool you: he’s just as crazy as the rest of em. He’s a scientist who regularly breaks every law of physics he can get his hands on. Very curious with questionable morals

A thousand years later and Kleoyia is born. Again: no idea who the other parent is. The only clue they have is that her pupil is shaped like a diamond, indicating that she’s of ckeoticn’ar descent. This does not make knowing who the daddy is any easier. She’s the head of information gathering. Either through espionage, T&I, or other means. She travels all around middle earth constantly. She also, like her dad, sleeps around a lot. (Lasgen is gay, gay, homosexual, gay and has been married since the age of the trees, Lirion is Ace).

Last, but not least, our favorite: Legolas. He was born 2002 SA. Not a clue who the second parent is. He’s in a polyamorous relationship with his wife, Sukanra, and his husband, Iznake. He’s a fixer. Basically, when there’s smth going on that’s big enough to be important, but too small to have primary focus, he’s sent out to deal with it. Whether it’s diplomatic relations, scouting, battle, it doesn’t matter. He’s the jack of all trades. He also switches regularly between a male and female body.

The reason is bc he had 1 daughter SA 3007, and later on they wanted another kid but Sukanra did not want to give birth again so legolas went “if we can find away for me to be pregnant and give birth safely, i’m willing to do it” (w husband). In short, by the end of the 3rd age, Legolas is the only one of Thranduil’s kids to have kids (though the others do get kids later on down the line)

But yeah, 5 kids in total, 2 who know who the sperm donor is (and it’s a jackass) and 3 who are clueless but also don’t really care.

And all the baby-daddies are still lowkey interested in Thranduil (even jackass, though he’s still an asshat) and finding out that he had their kid and other elves’ kids ruffles their feathers a bit.

But Thranduil’s fine. He’s not that interested in having a partner, so the only reason he’s freaking out a bit is bc it’s a bit awkward to say “hey remember the time we hooked up millenia ago? Well -*plops a full grown elven warrior with a reputation in front of babydaddy* tada!”

Sorry for rambling! This was simply the perfect opportunity to info dump.

The girls team with the boy was going to compete against girls who could not interact with him for religious reasons without any prior communication.

By Anna Slatz January 8, 2024

A girls basketball team from a Muslim high school in California may have canceled a game after the school’s board was made aware that the opposing team had a trans-identified male player.

On Thursday, January 4, Averroes High School was set to compete against San Francisco Waldorf in a girls varsity basketball event, but the event was abruptly canceled. While the school has not provided comment on the reason why the sudden forfeiture took place, the decision was reportedly the result of the institution being made aware that a male player was participating on the Waldorf girls’ team.

Averroes is an Islamic school in the Bay Area, and sources close to the matter speculate that the hesitancy to compete against Waldorf was due to religious objections regarding the Muslim girls risking physical contact with the male player.

While the name of the male student will not be released at the request of sources, Reduxx has reviewed past game footage featuring the boy on the Waldorf team. He is seen towering above his female counterparts, boasting an obvious height and limb length advantage. According to team rosters, the male student has also retained his “masculine” name.

SF Waldorf playing a match against another California high school in November.

Speaking to Reduxx, Julie Lane of Women Are Real, an independent, California-based women’s advocacy group, revealed that information on the Waldorf player was first brought to their attention by a concerned father in November of 2023. His daughter had played a game against Waldorf, and had been left “traumatized” by the experience. Following the tip, Lane scouted out a Waldorf event to see for herself.

“The boy had an obvious advantage,” she says. “[The girls] didn’t necessarily run their offense through him, probably because they didn’t want to be targeted. But he got most rebounds and was able to jump much higher than the girls.”

She continued by noting that the male player “was not particularly skilled,” but that he had a longer range of arm reach and could jump significantly higher.

“They were at a complete disadvantage,” Lane says. “I caught one scramble for the ball with another player and my heart stopped. She was more than a foot shorter than him and could have been seriously injured.”

According to the statistics tracked by MaxPreps, the Waldorf Wolverines Girls Varsity team has won all but one game it has participated in over the past year.

Determined to raise awareness of the Waldorf player, the team at Women Are Real looked into the school’s upcoming games. Learning about their scheduled appearance against Averroes, a religious school focused on Muslim youth, the group then contacted the school’s board to alert them to the presence of a male on the opposing team.

“I was hopeful and thought there was no way this board would let their female athletes participate with a boy,” Lane said, noting that she never received a response from Averroes.

On January 4, Lane and some members from the Women Are Real team arranged to attend the match between the Waldorf and Averroes teams. But upon arriving, Lane was unable to locate the girls’ event. Confused, Lane approached some parents for answers, and was directed to speak to a female Waldorf student who had been sitting on the bleachers watching the boys’ game.

But Averroes has avoided providing a concrete, official answer about their motivation for abruptly canceling the match, and did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

Jean Berns, another representative with Women Are Real, believes the confusion and silence surrounding the cancelation suggests Waldorf’s male player was the cause.

“As the school hasn’t made an official statement we can’t say for sure why the game was canceled. However, none of the multiple reasons we have heard from various sources make sense. We heard from the school director that there were not enough athletes to field a team, yet they played a game two days later with more than enough players. We heard from others that the coach was ill, yet he was able to coach the boys team the same evening of the cancelation. All this mystery and secrecy leads me to believe that the true reason for the cancelation most likely involves the male athlete,” she said, adding that she was “relieved” when she learned the game had been called off.

“On one hand, I feel strongly that no girl’s safety should ever be compromised and that no girl should be competing against a boy unawares. On the other hand, I’m saddened that the result is girls quietly self-selecting out of sports,” she continued.

“Will girls’ sport die a silent death here in California? Seeing that the boys game went on made me angry. Nothing has happened to them. What message are we sending these young girls?”

Speaking with Reduxx, Marshi Smith of the Independent Council on Women’s Sports speculates that the confusion surrounding Averroes’ forfeiture may be the result of concerns about potential penalization from the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF).

“The CIF falsely claims that boys who say their ‘gender identity’ is ‘female’ have legal entitlements to girls’ opportunities and access to girls’ teams, dorms, locker rooms, scholarships, titles and records,” she explains. “Families and schools like Averroes are wrongly told they’ll be in violation of federal law if they don’t force their daughters to compete against or with males. Tragically, feeling powerless, teams will quietly forfeit more and more.”

But Smith says CIF’s threats are “false and unethical,” and calls on schools and families to push back against gender ideology-based policies.

“Families must boldly oppose this injustice against women and girls now. There are millions of Americans ready to champion them.”

UPDATE: A previous version of this article incorrectly stated that SF Waldorf had won “every single” game it had competed in over the past year. This has been updated to reflect a single loss.

I joined an frc team

-GRABS YOU-

hello and welcome to the first day of the rest of your life . first robotics competition CHANGES YOUR BRAIN CHEMICALS

you want to survive? LETS DO THIS

1: NO MATTER WHAT try and stick it out. Get the grades, get the hours, get the permission to travel to at least ONE competition- especially one that stays in a hotel, since I know some teams will skip out on hotels for events close to them. I don't think ANYONE, in any scenario, should say "this isn't for me" until they go and experience one full event.

2: if you don't use deodorant YOU WILL BE EXECUTED . no matter what your job is, there is going to be at least ONE point throughout the day where you are shoulder-to-shoulder with someone . if theres a time to be self conscious its then . use Convention rules as reference

3:you will be tempted to fucking come out of the closet at least at one point . you do NOT KNOW how much it hurt to skip out on a cool write-your-own-pronouns pin because i refused to use she/her and wasn't comfortable writing any. proceed with caution as you see fit.

4: are you surprised by number four? YOU SHOULDNT BE the women. ohh the women are so pretty. my entire high school (aka: less than a year ago) was me being OUTRAGOUSLY STUPID whenever i saw a fem presenting person . oh my god. oh my god they are all so hot. and then those hot students become hot volunteers and alumni and the gay never leaves. there was a trans woman mentor at one competition she rocked we talked with her for like an hour

5: if your team. goes to far competitions. TAKE A BLANKET AND PILLOW. new kids sometimes do NOT get this memo. do it. get silly with it, to what your team permits. our team, being older than me myself, gave up . . most rules. involving the bus. for better or worse.

6: bring a hoodie. i dont care where you go. bring not just a blanket, but a hoodie. so worse comes to worse you can put it on the floor and sleep. that was a fun 8 hour bus ride.

7: if you have a remotely decent team. you will be killed on site if you cuss at a competition. one kid's "bad" or immature behavior can lead to your entire team being disqualified to any award not related to robot performance.

8: LEARN HOW TO EAT AT LEAST ONE BASIC FOOD. this one might be silly but it could've killed me (dramatic). eat pizza. even if you have to take off the cheese just. figure out a way its worth it. FIND SOMETHING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST. at least one breakfast food, for if you're at a hotel that serves you. experiment a little. find something that works for you.

9: exercise what free stuff you take with caution . i have probably ten-fifteen pounds of buttons and pins, and i do not. genuinely do not. think thats an exaggeration.

10: headphones . soft, subtle earbuds. battery packs. and a BACKPACK. my senior year, i composed myself of:

fanny pack, attached to it my wallet which had a buckle, so i could easily access my money. a change purse also attachable, so i have somewhere for coins obviously.

reusable, collapsing drinking cup

a folded up draw-string bag, for hoodies, or eccentric amount of free stuff

one to two battery packs with a charger. if you have friends (or want to make some), consider having other types of chargers too!

wall outlet plug, incase i need to charge at a venue

miniature hairbrush

hand sanitizer

gum. a great way to make friends

a folded up sandwich bag with various medicines, and a piece of paper that describe which each medicine is (ibuprofen, anxiety meds, etc).

i genuinely considered wearing two fannypacks at the same time. also, tying your hoodie around your waist for extra storage works too.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE HACK:

tampon box . your venue bans outside food or drink? tampon box with pads and tampons on top. contraband inside. almost NEVER looks. better to put it with team stuff like scouting equipment and spirit gear but a worthy inclusion. Same goes for if you have a backpack with pockets!

put food/drinks at the bottom, menstrual products on top. doesn't matter what you present as. lie. say your girlfriend needed it since she doesn't carry a bag with her to competitions. putting SOFT STUFF that mumbles wrappers crinkling also helps, like an extra hoodie. though I personally wouldn't matter to much about that, since competitions are LOUD especially when you're entering the venue when the doors first open.

a lot of the time though, security aren't too bothered. especially if you dont make it obvious.

this is my first robotics season as a college student. i don't like my team enough to go back, but god. god do i fucking love this program.

Hi, I'm the anon that asked anlian-aishang about headcanons for asexual Levi with an asexual male s/o and they said you'd be happy to take the ask if I were okay with it. I absolutely am! Please take the idea and run to your heart's content about it. Thank you!

hi!! yes!!! i’m asexual and a male reader advocate trans-masc, so i was frothing at the mouth to take ur ask.

since these seem jus like general hcs?? and asexuality is on a spectrum, i’m gonna run with it! This turned out to be 99% levi’s pov though😅 sorry

okay. no matter how it happens that you find out both you and Levi are asexual, it’s the sweetest shit ever.

//internalized acephobia, fear&insecurity, internal pressure to have sex

wc: ~2.1k

To say Levi was kind of hesitant to even consider the thought of a relationship would be an understatement. He rationalized it to himself a lot since he met you.

Growing up Underground in his teen years, sex sold there - it was a commodity, a market. plenty of people spoke of it, plenty of people had it, but personally he didn’t see the appeal at all. At the sound of any discussion he usually shut the guilty party up.

It all sounded like two animals flopping around, naked, in their own fluids until they didn’t feel any need to anymore. He understood the pleasure, and the potential importance for those who were into that kind of thing, but it wasn’t for him.

And Levi didn’t beat himself up about it or anything. He knew the way he was raised was abnormal, along with his skillset and his morals, so what was one more thing?

He didn’t know anything about sexuality, or preferences, and he didn’t really care to before it became really fucking important to - because of his feelings for you.

In the first place… what did he know about attraction? Survival was all he knew; he lived it, breathed it, and killed for it as well. That mattered a helluva lot more in his mind than the way his palms broke into a sweat when he was pulled into a conversation with you, how he felt his chest utterly cramp with butterflies, and how—even more than normal—he had no fucking clue how to talk to you. Like a tough stain, thoughts of you clung to his mind, and refused to let go.

Thoughts of another man, nonetheless. That wasn’t the option many other men went with, he knew that, but the thing was, he had known many more men than women in his life (that being the state of things in his past life he had led back Underground). He’d never had the privilege to just… be around someone who wasn’t like him, someone who wasn’t hardened by violence, or killed everything he touched, or had any ulterior motives but to fight for freedom with the Scouts. You had a good heart. And you were so handsome.

Anyway, Levi took a liking to you. Before he could come to terms with that in of itself, he had to, in the end, begrudgingly, torturously, ask Hange what the fuck was wrong with himself.

After laughing at him for a good five minutes straight, so hard they ended up rolling around on the floor, Levi gave them a good kick in the side and only then did they actually give him a real answer.

“Oh my go-o-o-od!” they cackled. Their eyeglasses were cloudy from tears. “Oh, Levi. Levi, Levi, Levi…”

There might as well have been steam pouring out of his ears. “What? Out with it already.”

They grinned up at him, eyes glossy. “You like somebody! Damn, I never thought I’d see the day! …Question is if you’re nice enough that she likes you back.”

His eyes hardened. He wasn’t impressed.

Hange knowing was probably (certainly) the worst-case scenario. They took just about every chance they could to make fun of him just enough for no one to figure out what they actually meant—just that it made Captain Levi blush… before he made them shut up about it, obviously. Being ignorant to who it was exactly didn’t affect them in the least.

Seeing you, while Hange was within earshot?? Socializing at all was a lost-cause. He had to remove himself from the situation immediately, because no matter how you sliced it, he would make a fool of himself every time.

Because of this, you eventually got the idea in your mind that you had pissed Levi off in some way. You were very close longtime comrades (had to be for him to grow attached), but at an unknown point, he began to pull away, acting strangely around you. You never spent time together, just the two of you, anymore.

The truth came out eventually, like pulling teeth. Levi was the most awkward person imaginable about it. He just kept fucking stammering. It was impossible to so much as look at you in the eye.

But… he really did like you. He liked everything about you, actually. Being a stranger to so much as a nice, casual touch, he tensed the first time you laid your head on his shoulder. Affection seemed to burn him.

But he would gladly make you tea every day of the week, or adjust your belts, or buy you something you’d been eyeing for a while. His attention to detail was impeccable. He came to be willing to do damn near anything for you, but it took him some getting used to it to slide up next to you in private, and maybe even take your hand, if that was okay.

Levi actually came to really, really fucking love you. Every chance he got (without getting caught), his eyes were on you. He worried endlessly outside the Walls, especially since it was impossible to protect you all the time. The idea of loss, loss of something this special, scared him as much as it made him terrifyingly determined to fight within an inch of his life to protect you.

Showing even an inkling of just how deep Levi’s feelings ran in public, he didn’t like. He was thankful you understood—every dirty, horrible facet about him, you understood.

Your boundaries as well, he followed to a tee. You cared for him without any conditions, and he did too, even though it was like pulling teeth to show you how much.

Then, inevitably… it all circled back to sex again. Another reason Levi didn’t entertain the idea of a relationship was sex, a seemingly staple part of what a relationship even was. It didn’t exist without that.

By that time, Levi was fairly confident about what you two shared, and just how much it meant to you—but this was different. There wasn’t anything he genuinely faced up against and thought, I can’t handle this.

But he dreaded the idea of sex.

But he also had to admit to himself that he didn’t want his life without you beside him.

Mixing the two was like fire and water. It was a fact—even though most of what he heard had no strings attached—that it was bound to happen sooner or later. No denying it.

This wasn’t one of those things he could shove deep down inside as another stain on who he was, either; it was intricately woven with you.

However: it had strangely never been an issue before, not really. Sometimes you would stay over in his larger officers’ quarters, but laying cuddled up in bed together never led to anything. Awkwardness sat in the air sometimes, but only when it got more physical. Like that odd look on your face after exchanging more than a few kisses.

He enjoyed kissing you, how your lips felt softer than velvet moving against his, and that way—when dressed in his uniform leathers—you would make a grab for his waist belts to make the kiss last longer.

But he found himself uncomfortable by the idea of moving further than that. The signs suggested that you felt similarly, but if he was wrong, and you were waiting for him to make the next move—it wasn’t going to happen. Even if he desired it, he needed 100% guarantee before he made any drastic moves.

He was perfectly content the way things were, in fact he really didn’t want it any other way.

The pressure came to a boiling point though, as all things do.

Levi is by no means a pushover. He can’t be intimidated. However, it’s a different situation when he wants to make the most important man in his life happy. And stubbornly, he genuinely believes he can brave through anything without giving a second thought to the repercussions when it came to himself.

Evening, after supper, he had creeped up behind you in the dim sitting room, which was only illuminated by the fireplace. Because you were trying to act sneaky by taking a sip of his tea while he was out of the room, he wrapped his arms around your waist, and asked over your shoulder, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing at all,” you sing-songed, tucking the cup more protectively against your chest. He scoffed with a small kiss to your cheek, and it escalated from there.

It didn’t actually trouble him to go and make another cup, but then you were turning around in his arms and snaking your fingers through his undercut. Then, with the cup hastily, firmly put aside, you sighed just as heavily and took his lips again.

Your hands tripping around his waist, you seemed in a pretty big hurry to kiss him, so he grappled for your shoulders and tried to match your pace.

Even though it was a fucked up way to feel, Levi could admit in his own mind, to put himself through this kind of grief—as long as it meant your happiness he wouldn’t have thought twice.

He wasn’t unattracted to you, it was the act itself. It was the act that made dread fill his stomach, his heart twist, and instinctively inch away.

If this was what you wanted—

Eyes shining, he dodged your lips and started smacking warm kisses down your jaw, as tense as a wooden board. You clung to him. But, it appeared you noticed that at the same time he noticed that how heavily you were breathing wasn’t normal.

Of course he stopped—immediately, and did what he had been itching to do since you first licked into his mouth, which was pull away.

Face hot, he stared at that glass-like look on your face, and realized it matched his own. He didn’t know how to fix this.

Your hold on the fabric of his shirt slackened the slightest bit. “You don’t want to?” you whispered.

Even before the words were out he had looked away, lost. Part of him wanted to correct this right now in case it was nerves, or some confusion, it could always be that; the other part just wanted to go brew you a new cup of tea.

“Levi…?” you said, voice twinged by hope. “You don’t want this.”

His jaw tightened, gaze unmoving with the floor. “I’m supposed to.”

You sighed, like letting bad air out of a balloon. “I—I’m supposed to, too.”

Struck, he looked back at your wide eyes.

“Did you ever want to?” you asked.

He frowned, deeply. “Don’t tell me you slobbered all over me just now because you felt like doing me a favor.”

It was your turn to turn worried. “Don’t tell me you did the same thing.”

Finally, he took a more even step back. It was time to face the facts it seemed—that there was something deeply broken about him that let him feel the way he did for you, but without the rest of the requirements. Sexual desire.

So: forever thankful (though confused at first) was Levi that he read you right. You were relieved, and you were a lot smarter than him.

You felt the exact way he did—that sex was going to be inevitable at some point, how the anxiety and insecurity ate at you—which is why you started what you did.

You knew so much more than him :( The sharp pang of skepticism he felt was stubborn to leave as you explained how this wasn’t a bad way to feel. There was no mindbreaking trauma that completely erased the reason for his feelings from his mind.

It was normal. it wasn’t common, but he wasn’t broken. He was okay.

Missed feelings? Silent resentment? Some other alternative that would have been relationship-ending? No longer applied. No longer anything.

God. Just, the weight of the whole entire world slipped off his shoulders.

And you know what?—Nothing after that changed for anything but the better. Both of you had reached a new closeness in an invisible, underlying way that was clear to just the both of you.

Sleeping in the same bed together was actually made even better without any unspoken expectations. Sometimes, in the dark, when Levi couldn’t sleep and you were determined to stay up with him (much to his chagrin), whenever you blinked at each other, it felt like you spoke the perfect morse code than neither of you knew, but both of you understood.

Did Hange still make kissy noises when you and Levi did any conceivable thing together? Yes, obviously. And let them.

You didn’t need sex to share a healthy, thriving connection. And neither of you wanted it any other way.

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Yo, gonna be posting some more book reviews here, cause I love sharing what I'm reading.

BOOK REVIEW: IT'S OKAY TO SPARKLE!

by Avery Jackson, illustrations by Jessica Udischas

It’s Okay to Sparkle is a picture book for younger kids from 4-8 about Avery, a seven-year-old girl like any other. She loves climbing trees, taking care of animals, dancing, attending Girl Scouts, and doing Tai Kwan Do. Avery is also transgender and she explains what that means in a simple, matter-of-fact way that’s easy for kids to understand. She talks about how much she loved playing dress-up in preschool and how happy being able to affirm her gender and feel accepted by her friends made her. Her playful narration helps trans and gender-nonconforming children develop the concepts and vocabulary to better explain their own identities while also encouraging empathy and understanding from cis kids.

Avery’s narration is complimented well by Udischars’ art style, which gives the pages a feeling of motion and liveliness reminiscent of 90s-era Nickelodeon cartoons.

As fun and colorful as the book is, Avery also talks about some of the difficulties trans kids face, such as people try to tell her she’s using the wrong bathroom; or her fear that her parents will reject her (they do not, for the record, and in fact strongly affirm her identity); or that other kid’s parents will disapprove of her out of the misguided fear that their own kids will catch the trans “disease”.

The book also addresses a pernicious talking point in anti-trans rhetoric which claims that children who say they’re trans are just “confused” and can’t tell the difference between make-believe and reality. Avery’s response to that is: “Sometimes I like pretending I’m an animal or a ninja or a princess. But that’s just make-believe”. When children pretend they’re a dragon or an astronaut, they know they aren’t actually these things. Gender, however, is a fundamental part of a person’s being and kids- trans, cis, or nonbinary- know who they are.

Despite these difficulties, the book is still positive and affirming. As Avery explains: “Being transgender is a hard thing, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be yourself.”It's Okay to Sparkle is a charmingly straight-forward picture book encouraging empathy and understanding for kids of all genders. You can get a copy from the author’s website:

to be a boy

trans hunter week day one - childhood (@rqmdae)

-

He’d always had a strange sense of dislocation, when it came to his body and his place in the world.

He wasn’t sure when it started - he couldn’t remember much from his childhood, nothing at all before that moment kneeling in charred ashes, his uncle’s hand caressing his shoulder, not even the barest glimpse of a memory before gilded gauntlets curled around his arm. It was just- always sort of there, that odd disconnected sense of different-ness, of wrongness, a little creeping feeling that made his skin crawl and had him tug on the collars of his shirts so they were all baggy in the front and no-one could see his chest. It wasn’t so bad when he was in uniform, body shielded by a thick white cloak, but when he attended the Emperor in his thin cotton shirt and black trousers, there was nothing for him to hide in, phantom eyes tracing the curves of his body that he hated.

He was a girl - he should be a girl, the Emperor told him he was a girl, and didn’t the man who gave him his life know best? Still, he took a strange, secret glee in thinking of himself as a boy, and sometimes he would take wrappings from his first-aid kit and bandage his chest, only out of curiosity, of course, but he felt a perverse sort of pleasure in it, heart beating like he’d won a race. Sometimes, when he was alone, he would hum deep in his chest, and delight in the way it lowered his voice like so many of the other scouts. At some point, he’d begun thinking of himself as a he instead of a she, an inexplicable train of thought that he couldn’t quite shake away, and it jarred him to hear the soft edges of words he no longer thought in terms of whenever someone addressed him.

A few months ago, Kikimora had sat him down with a few books on his ‘changing body,’ and with a long-suffering look to her eye, told him to consult them if he had any questions about things. She had been rather vague about what things entailed. He had read the books cover to cover, some more than once, a horrible revulsion at the images of female witch’s bodies settling in his gut - he did not want that, did not, that was not what he wanted to happen to him, and no matter what he did, it was going to happen anyways. And happen it did - slowly, at first, more padding to his hips, his thighs, his chest - and then it felt as if one day he had woken up, and his body was merely a puppet that he sat inside, something not meant for him, dancing miserably on its strings. It was wrong.

He thought about what life would be like, sometimes, if he were a boy. If his uncle would still comment dryly on the spare curves of his body, in a way that Hunter knew he proved unsatisfactory in this measure, too. Once, when his uncle had been in a good mood, he asked what his name would have been, had he been born a boy. Hunter, his uncle had said, so simple and easy, without a moment’s second thought. Hunter. The name felt rough around the edges, a glove with a lumpy hem, but he took it for his own, when he lay in his bed late at night. Hunter. He wrapped himself in its embrace, and imagined what Hunter might be doing - if Hunter would be more pleasing to Belos than he was, the nephew to take his father’s place instead of a gangly niece with soft cheeks and fat in all the wrong places.

It all came to a head the day he found dark spots of blood in his underwear, the day where the world seemed to collapse - the day, according to Kikimora’s books, that he became a woman, a concept so foreign to him that for a while all he could do was stare at the mess in his pants and hiccup desperately, not quite crying. A woman - Head Witch Terra was a woman, he thought, and Lilith Clawthorne, but him? He was a square peg in that round hole, and he couldn’t shave his edges down to make himself fit. He had to do - something, anything, because suddenly even the barest hint of femininity was something so unbearable it was like a knife to the chest.

He’d never kept his hair long, as a matter of practicality, but it still hung far enough down his head that he could tie it in a tail. That day, in the barrack bathroom, he took his pocket knife and sawed off his blonde locks so that they lay like tiny, wind-curled leaves on the grubby tile floor. When he was done, his hair lay ragged and uneven on the back of his head, and his scalp prickled when he ran his hand along it, and he still looked like a girl, really, but he felt- better. Not good, but better.

He wore a uniform for most of his day, of course, and no one saw what he had done until he attended the Emperor late that evening. Anxiety had eaten away at him with each passing hour - he had never been told how to do his hair, other than to keep it manageable, but his uncle did not take kindly to surprises of this short. Still, the deed was done, and there was nothing he could do but wait.

Wordlessly, he had taken off his mask and hood, and stared at the Emperor’s feet, head bowed underneath the man’s masked gaze. Neither said a word, for a moment, and then something forced its way out of his chest.

“Uncle, I- I don’t think I’m a girl,” he said quietly, eyes glued to the floor.

“Is that right?” He nodded cautiously. “Look at your betters when you speak.” He raised his head, and hunched his shoulders against the Emperor’s cold-eyed stare. “Are you a boy, then?” He wasn’t sure what laced his uncle’s voice, but it was eerily, distinctly unfamiliar. Excitement? Maybe he had been right, that being a girl was unsatisfactory, and his uncle had merely been waiting for him to make the right choice all along.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well,” the Emperor said slowly, thoughtfully, in the way one regarded a pleasant but unexpected piece of news. “Let us see what there is to be done about that.”

I'm out right now, and tonight I have to study for finals, so no big fic/request done (sorry)

so, here are my personal, tf2 sexuality, and interest headcannons.

Scout, as I've mentioned, is trans (ftm) and bisexual. Because, yeah. Mhm. He's into comics, specifically superhero ones like Marvel and Dc. He loves Spider-Man, Captain America, and Shazam. He started transitioning when he was 20. His mother was always supportive of him, plus she knew, he was super masculine when he was young, influenced by all his older brothers, plus, he never really liked the feeling of being a woman anyway. (He/they)

Pyro is transfem, I usually use he/they for them in my work, but that's cause I don't usually put my headcannons in my work. But I think I'll start doing that :)

Pyro uses any pronouns, likes mlp duh, and also has a weird obsession with motorcycles, totally random but it started when engie got him a motorbike one day and then she got super into it.

Soldier doesn't realize it, or cares, but he's pan. Made out with demoman a bunch drunk at a party so everyone knows, but he doesn't ever remember. When asked if he swings both ways, he will give you a slightly confused look. "YES! I GO LEFT, AND RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?" (He/him)

Demo is bi, that man cannot be straight I'm sorry. Bi, kissed a boy once as a teenager and since then on he's had very strong feelings about men. Feel like he would be kind of androgynous in terms of how he dresses if he had the chance to, idk.

Also he likes books that teach on certain, very specific topics. Hes a weirdly cultured man. (He/him)

Heavy, I feel like would be demiromantic bicurious? like he's thought about it, he doesn't really get along with much people on a personal level, due to him always having to work, and always being feared. And he's had feelings for men, he just always sorta, denied it? in denial, even though the closet is made out of glass.

Heavy likes to woodcarve, and weirdly i think if he tried, hed be good at painting. (He/him)

Engineer is trans (real.) ftm, pansexual. He started transitioning when he was a bit older. His parents weren't supportive at first, but in the end, were proud of the man he became. He likes those wooden sets you buy where you construct your own object with wood! (Music boxes, animals, buildings, I did one of these, it was a music box, and I definitely know he'd like it as a stress reliever or gift. (Any pronouns)

Medic is not straight don't start w me. Androsexual, (if you don't know, androsexuality is being attracted to anything masculine no matter the gender. The opposite is gynosexual, attracted to anything feminine no matter the gender.) He's into masculinity, me thinks.

Likes bird watching and has a weird interest in the strange and unknown, like if YouTube existed he'd be the type to watch those long documentaries on the sea while he works or something. (Any pronouns, but mostly refers to himself as he.)

Sniper, panromantic demisexual. Don't know how to explain, so won't. Also likes to carve with wood, discusses it with Heavy a lot. Started when he was a kid, he'd get bored, go to the woods, and just carve a bunch of stuff. He also likes sweets. won't explain. (Any pronouns)

Spy is bisexual, genderqueer (omg same) does not gaf abt his gender bro, she'd look stunning in a dress. Has an interest in corny poetry, would never admit it, but it's true. (Any pronouns, but mostly He/She)

Ms Pauling is not straight. I don't? know her canon sexuality, I know it was confirmed she isn't straight so...bi? she seems like a bi queen to me 👍 (bis unite) but if I'm wrong definitely correct me

Sci-fiesque ideas brainstorm

A way of replacing biological matter with purely synthetic material is found. People can become transformmetals (formets for short) which makes them look like they are made of metal, and thus gain limited shapeshifting abilities.

Everyone in the world was forcefully linked through nanites. All pronouns died, only "we" remained. As a hive mind, we made the world a paradise. And only then the link broke.

The Earth was covered by a fragmented Dyson ball to generate electricity from sunlight. Now, day and night are way more fragmented, since there are enormous shadows covering the sky every now and then. Yet the energetic crisis is completely gone.

Scientists created a way of reanimating anyone's brain via very elaborate chemical reactions. Even if your head was crushed by a car wheel or something, piecing it together and turning the machine on can save you. Many people have experienced sentience without a body, which was quite traumatic emotionally, but that better than being dead, right?

People found naturally occurring portals and gained insight from them, making artificial ones. Now every damn thing has microportals in it.

A virus granting the user shapeshifting powers is spreading around Earth. Governments, being dicks they are, outlaw it. Trans people and pretty much everyone at this point doesn't care though. The pandemic spread like wildfire.

Everything suddenly became Minecraft.

We found aliens! They are communists and got us sick tech in exchange for nothing really, we just learnt their language and humans went to space as friends. Also they abolished Earth governments.

The more money a person possesses, the weaker they become as a demon curses Earth. The mechanic of the curse made it so average people gained but a simple cold for a couple days. Billionaires? Terminal cancer in a blink of an eye.

Hackers hijacked a territory in Southern Africa and from there created a utopia, protecting themselves with tech so advanced and precise that their borders become impenetrable to intercontinental rockets, any airships or warheads. Slowly, the same syndicate begins to craft powerful propaganda using face replacement AI on so many levels, planned ahead, that they seem more legit than the most legitimate possible sources on the planet. This new country plans to make the world a better place. No buts. Only saying truth yet spreading misinformation for the ones who can't be reasoned with.

We invent transformers! They go to live on the moon though because government is lame.

People gain the ability to travel to any imaginary world. The real world becomes an empty void with little humans remaining, since most people who went worldfaring either stayed living there or died. What did you expect by being dropped into the 40th millennium, dude?

Earth suddenly became a non-euclidean object, a square projection of it's own surface with each side looping into the opposite one. You can now travel to the south pole by going beyond the north one, in other words.

There are now two moons in the sky, one being a ghost reflection of another universe where we didn't get distracted by things and advanced technology faster, colonizing the pearl of the night sky.

The Apollo mission wasn't a "leave a mark and go home" one, it was a colonization scouting trip, leaving robots and androids to prepare the moon for human newcomers.

We found a way to jump between universes. The catch? Each new universe is a copy of the previous one at the moment of the usage of the jump device, but devoid of any sentient life. Basically copy pasting the whole reality except humans. Gladly, "intelligent" life includes pets for some reason. Overpopulation solved.

We found a way to create literal Superman people. Government grabs that tech with their teeth, but gladly the people who took the serum first take the matter into their hands and do what's right. Aka, nuclear disarming, disarming in general, and helping those in need. A coalition of Superpeople is born and it's really difficult to get into - they take no recruits, and distribute serum by surprise to those who they deem worthy. With a choice given, of course.

comprehensive list of bioware characters you should be allowed to romance:

scout harding - she’s half romanceable because you can flirt with her and romance her behind the scenes in the trespasser dlc, but harding is a HOTTIE and deserved a fully fleshed-out romance SEND tweet

VIVIENNE - i shouldn’t need to explain but i will. she’s one of inquisition’s most interesting characters and they did absolutely nothing interesting with her! hello!!!! bioware are racist cowards every time.

aveline vallen - let me halfheartedly help her woo that dude and then go “but i love you!” dramatically at the end. (however, i also love that she refuses to romance hawke no matter the gender. she’s like “that mess is not for me, thank you.”)

varric - not my cup, but i support the varricfuckers out there. you deserve better

inquisition!leliana - specifically if she’s not dating the warden or if the warden died. I Miss My Wife

meredith - i like messy romances between women and watching women become corrupted by their good-intentioned ideals, what can i say

crem - i don’t trust 2014 bioware to handle a romance with a trans character in any way responsibly, but i will continue to imagine the well-written version in my head.

joker - again, not my cup. but there’s a nice story in there wrt shepard using their last breath to make sure joker got out safe, joker quitting the alliance to help shepard at cerberus, watching them come back to life.

EDI - let me steal joker’s girl. i’m BEGGING you bioware

aria t’loak - 😳😳😳😳 i will do so much crime for you ma’am just say the word 🫡

Different guy here but I beg of you to rant about Spy’s sexuality if ya don’t mind ^-^

Feel free to ignore and have a lovely day!!!

okay so, I actually go back and forth about his sexuality a lot, he’s either bi or gay to me, just kinda depends on the context

bi is self-explanatory, most people see Spy as bi

..now before you come at me with “wait but what about Scout, he can’t be gay!”, I have my reasons

Spy loves Ma, dearly, truly.  he would do absolutely anything for that woman if she asked him to and wouldn’t give it a second thought, she’s a very dear friend to him (even in my version of him being Bi and them being together, they’re always very close friends first and foremost)

but he was never IN love with her

Spy admits in his confession to Scout that he was young when Scout was conceived.  he met a woman who swooned HIM in ways he didn’t really comprehend and he mistook loving her as being in love with her.  he met a woman who managed to sweet talk HIM after he’d been used to having to sweet talk other people in order to con them.  not that she did it maliciously, she was just a confident, gorgeous woman who knew how to read people and what to say to them

and things were confusing and complicated and he got scared and he left, but he never left her because no matter what he loved her.  it probably took years before they got together in private and had a real talk about what happened and they stayed very close to each other

they never cut contact, even before their talk and Spy opened up to her about his feelings he always made sure to check in with her as often as he could, and she always supported him.  they love and care for each other and nothing was ever gonna change that

she will however still tease the shit outta him when they discuss their tastes in men together (*cough*Sniper*cough*)

my experience on the matter is under the cut

I am a gay man, who for many years identified as pan, I have in the past dated a couple fem-aligned people.  it does not make me any less of a gay man.  I came to realize after having a long conversation with a friend of mine about their identity that I was gay.  I realized that I had no attraction to women, but rather I was attracted to the idea of wanting to be friends with certain women.

I didn’t come out as trans until after I was an adult because I missed all the signs.  I look back now and I see them, and I also see that I was very much masking my complicated feelings for my gender by telling myself I was attracted to women.  I was over compensating in a way, I only felt the way I did because I was also attracted to women.  I can’t explain how or why that’s where my mind went, but it did.  and I spent a lot of years very confused and it took me a long time to get to how I identify today and for once actually feel comfortable with myself.

my interpretation of Spy being gay comes from that.  (minus the trans part because I personally don’t headcanon him as trans but you get my point.)

there’s no evidence whatsoever to support my headcanon, but I don’t really care about that, it’s mine and I’m sticking to it

also I’m not tagging this one bc I don’t expect it to be a very popular headcanon and I don’t know how people will react and I’d rather just avoid dealing with anyone who wants to come at me over it, I’m totally okay with reblogs I just don’t really feel like tagging this

MY FRIEND ASKED ME 4 MY LGBT TF2 HCS!!! i wrote a bunch of paragraphs 4 the guy and thought i might as well post em here 2 lol. never done a hc post but why not. ALSO i am sorry if these r bad takes plz have mercy on me scout- unfortunately has alot of internelized homophobia so he acts like,,, super duper straight and masc 2 appear as hetero to both his brothers and the other mercs. chases women and LOVES WOMEN BOOB WOMEN to keep this up, but after seeing how litereally everyone else is gay and realizing that it is NOT BAD!!! he chooses LOVE WINS, so in short bi becuz he is BI HIMSELF ((also ive heard alot of trans hcs and i like that idea, either for him being ftm or mtf later down the line   pyro- genderfluid?? more like,,, genger GASOLINE, fire burn fire. probably has like a gay autistic who loves fire flag saved on their phone. uses all pronouns and has multiple neo pronouns but in the same way they r nonbinary in general?? i thinks, id ont know if hes r ace or if they have jst not found someone they have a crush on, in the same way i think shed get really silly crushes on people like shawn mendes or something. also pan and does not care about gender at all  engineer!!!- ppl think that he is straight, these people are WRONG!!!  i think he'd b bi without the urself way!! maybe influenced by pyro and has tried he/them pronousn b4, hot single dad looking for other dads  demoman- OUUUGH he is  silly 2 me, absoloutely wild with gender presentation and i would htink he absoloutely would show up to bars wearing makeup and painting his nails or wearing skirts ((hehahe scottish) and ROCKING IT. uses any pronouns even tho he still prefers he/him. pan sexual and when drunk or sober flirts with any attractive person in the vicinity. does not depend on who it is  soldier- LOVES MEN((and also zhanna)), GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS LESBIANS (saw something about people asking him(usa) for his(usas) pronouns and he just screams america at them, usa/usas LOL)  sphee- like demoman in the way i think he gets manicures and wears really lavish dresses. definetely wiill sleep witj anyone no matter gender, win 4 all sluts ever /j spy would wear those damn expensive I just killed my husband robez….  snipaoer-  DEFINETELY demisexual, scared of litreally any relationship ever and if u touch him he will explode and migt start crying LOL,  has never really thought about his sexuality cause that means actually acknowledging the idea that anyone besides his poor parents will ever love him and THAT IS NOT A THING??? duh :/, simply exists in a state of completely unlabeled and 2 scared to thing any harder about it lol, meeting spy is the most emotional damge that life has implanted onto him the last 2 accidently just became backstory headcanons instead of lgbt ones, oops  heavy!!!- like sniper never really thought about it,, all hes ever seen has been straight people so he never evn rlly thought that being gay was like... a option. also never really had many real life crushes on people as a kid and thought the guy celebs were a bit prettier then the womenz, did not think about this either. meeting medic was like a whole new thing 4 him cause 1, first person hes ever been emotionally attached 2 very much besides his family. and 2, its a guy. was  confusing 4 him to figure out at such a late age but didnt scare him 2 much, and also his whole family was like YIPPEE!!!!! our lovely misha finally has a date thank god. they r all so supportive and love hearing about medic whenever heavy sends letters. heavy writes about him alot, his mom alwas asks when they r gonna have a grandson and heavy is like,, ma??? were gay, and his families all like, ADOPT A KID ,, heavy is not sure about medic being a dad LOL ((sorruy this became a heavymedic hcs instead of just heavy hcs, but i feel like medic is important to his lbgt-ness)) MEDIC.0- saving the one im least sure about 4 last- apparently he had a wife in the past but i think this was just to please his parents and 2 appear straight cuz this weirdo is a RAGING homosexual. poor wife had it rough and thought he was cheating the whole time, sad loveless marriage for both of em. in his teen years he was a part of alot of lgbt and punk groups in germany bcuz it is funny 2 imagine him with his hair all spiked or somethign eagain medic prob did not protest as a 20-something cuz he didnt wanna lose his medical liscense, doesnt matter cuz he did anyways LOL. but now that he is old he absoloutely loves it and litearlly does wahtever he wants, i think he likes to look nice, as in wear sweaters and button ups and nice shoes and slacks when he is not working. he is like a gay mr rogers

Reading your young Walter and Carla short got me thinking, what is transitioning like in APV-verse if you don't mind me asking? The technology and results are probably much better than anything we have in the real world but I can see access to care being very situational due to class and location.

AW YEAH thank you for this question, I was waiting for someone to ask...!

So, you're right that access to care is very situational. If you're working class (that is, at the very bottom of the social heirarchy), then there are two barriers to transitioning: lack of funds, and lack of time. Workers are paid absolute peanuts, and they have to work very long hours to generate enough credits to pay for food on the table as well as other basic amenities. There's also the fact that the medical centres that specialise in transition care are usually in the middle class areas at the very least, which!! Working class people can attend, it just requires the correct permits (which, again, is more money).

Truthfully, working class trans people tend to transition socially, which is widely accepted. There is a bit of black market for HRT, and some even risk going to a black market surgeon, but overall many decide to not risk it (because if they become physically impaired they can't work, and if they can't work, they can't get paid, and if they don't get paid...)

Walter actually lucked out, because Carla was able to make some serious cash with her illegal activities alongside her scrapping business. She basically built herself a criminal empire in Ganymede's industrial sectors that specialised in smuggling and experimental weapons trade, and she used that to get Walter reliable access to HRT lmao the only thing she couldn't do was like, get him access to a surgeon (that wasn't a black market surgeon whose success rate was kinda ehhhh (wobbles hand side to side)).

The top surgery, however, Walter negotiated through his scholarship with Furlong. He performed really well on that entrance exam, and Furlong were actually pretty anxious to secure him (as Furlong isn't the only corporation to scout amongst the working class for exemplary individuals - they want him going to them, rather than, say, Balam or Arquebus), so Walter managed to wrangle Furlong paying for his top surgery as a condition for him attending the pilot academy... which he'd obviously pay back alongside his tuition debt. To Furlong, it was just another chain they could use to keep Walter leashed to them, so they agreed without fuss.

That's another avenue people take as well, though that's mostly the middle class (specifically bronze citizenship who earn enough to live comfortably, but not enough to pay to transition without overstretching their budget). Corporations are very open in offering transition treatments, or cosmetic surgeries or anything like that, as part of their employment... you just have to pay them back (with interest!) so they take a cut of your paycheck in return. They're smart enough to have the payback be very painless though (which means they get more interest overall bc it takes so long to pay them back, which means you have to stay employed with them for longer... again, that chain to keep people shackled to them).

So, tl;dr, transitioning socially is very easy, and what most working class people do, whereas low-middle class negotiate deals with their corporate masters to get top/bottom surgery or HRT, while the upper parts of human society just straight up pay for it no problems. Hilariously, you're judged more for getting human augmentation surgery, since the way the law's written you're no longer considered "human" post-surgery, but a "corporate asset" as you don't actually 'own' the augmentations inside your body.

Oh, and I should add: location definitely does matter, as if you're on a frontier colony, which is usually only occupied by working class, there wouldn't be any transition care going on there, just a basic hospital to manage industrial accidents and the like. They'd have to somehow rustle up the cash to go to a major colony (like, the solar system) and pay to transition there, which... won't happen bc they lack the funds.