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theoncelee · 1 year

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Hi! @galactickles so sorry this is super duper late (seriously please don’t hate me, or do, it’s May I wouldn’t blame you) but I was your Squealing Santa!! Thank you @hypahticklish for orchestrating it this year. I know people usually do just Christmas stuff for these, but I’m half Jewish and wanted to write about both holidays because I love them both so much. Hope that’s ok :)

Again I’m so sorry 😭😭 I’m a horrible person

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Logince (romantic)

Warnings: This is a tickle fic. Some capital text. Other than that nothing this is pure fluff.

Summary: High School AU where Roman and Logan are around 16/17 and dating. Roman is Christian and Logan is Jewish. The two decide to spend December showing each other what’s great about their respective holidays. Chaos and tickling ensues.

Merry Chanukkah

Roman and Logan had only been dating for only around six months when winter rolled around. The second the clock struck midnight on November 1st Roman was in full Christmas mode. Christmas was his all time favorite holiday, how could it not be? There were presents, and loud decorations, and cuddling by the fire, and hot cocoa, and the people he loved most. But his favorite person in the whole wide world, his boyfriend Logan, was Jewish. So he didn’t even celebrate Christmas! He’d probably never even had a proper Christmas, and wasn’t that a sad thought to be having at midnight. So Roman resolved that this year he was gonna make Logan experience Christmas. All the good non-religious bits, anyways. Christmas had never really been about God for Roman anyways. He more enjoyed the family and community aspect of it all.

Unfortunately, both Logan and Roman were absolutely swamped with schoolwork and activities for the entirety of November. Roman was starring in the fall play, and Logan was working hard with his team to get their phenomenal rubber band car ready for the Physics Olympics. Between their busy schedules and Thanksgiving, the two barely even saw each other. Come December, however, a rejuvenated Roman set his plan into action: Operation Make-Logan-Experience-Christmas.

Step one: Decorate the house.

On December 3rd, Roman invited Logan over with no explanation. When Logan pulled into Roman’s driveway he was surprised to find the guy looking extremely frustrated as he furiously attempted to untangle a massive string of lights.

“Ro? What’s going on? Are you ok?” Logan inquired as he exited his car. Roman dropped the lights, a huge smile blooming on his face,

“Hey! You made it! I’m just trying-and failing-to untangle these lights…haha. I wanted to show you all the joys of Christmas since, yknow, you’re Jewish and all. So I figured we could decorate my house together and then drink cocoa?” Logan huffed out a small laugh. His boyfriend was adorable.

“Sure”, he replied with a grin, “Hand me the lights”. He then proceeded to untangle them in one smooth motion, smirking when Roman’s jaw hit the floor.

As the hours wore on, the work was getting agonizingly slow. Especially for Logan who didn’t understand the point of putting lights on the house to begin with. It wasn’t practical; why were they doing it? So, when Roman stretched up to wrap a string of lights around a tree branch, Logan quickly wiggled two fingers in each of Roman’s underarms, eliciting a small shriek. Roman immediately whipped around, light pink dusting his cheeks.

“Dohon’t”, he giggled, voice wavering slightly. See, Logan didn’t get mischievous often, he found it childish. But, well, he was really bored. And maybe Roman was cute when he was tickled or whatever, shut up. Roman tentatively reached up again, and again he he found tickling fingers in his underarms, forcing him to slam his arms down with a squeal. The cycle continued a couple more times before Roman finally whipped around and tackled Logan, squeezing his sides with vigor.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROHOHOHOMAN PLEEHEEHEEASE IHIM SOHORRY STAAHAHAHAAP”, he squealed.

“All right, all right,” Roman relented, “but only because we need to finish these decorations”. And as much as Logan hated to admit it, the decorations did end up pretty great in the end. They were loud and obnoxious and garish and PERFECT. This whole Christmas thing was actually pretty fun, and Logan thought the concept of Roman showing him his favorite parts of the holiday was pretty cute. And that’s what sparked Logan’s newest idea: Operation-Make-Roman-Experience-Chanukkah.

Which is how Roman found himself at Logan’s house on December 18, the first night of Chanukkah. Roman honestly didn’t know much about the holiday, so he was pretty excited. Logan’s family, of course, were delighted to have Roman over. Logan’s grandparents, although not fully understanding that the two boys were dating, were supportive and excited regardless. Roman watched as Logan’s dad lit the shammash with a fire stick and Logan got to light the first candle. Not being religious or motivated enough to actually dig out the yamaka’s, all the male family members simply placed a hand on their heads as Logan’s grandfather recited a prayer. Roman didn’t understand a word of the Hebrew, but he enthusiastically exclaimed “Amen!” with everyone else at the end. The family then sat down for dinner, where Roman proclaimed latkes to be his new favorite food and then proceeded to eat half the platter. After an incredible dinner, they sat on the floor for a rousing game of dreidel. Barely 10 minutes in Roman was losing quite spectacularly. Logan’s grandfather was winning again; no one could quite figure out how he always won a game entirely based on luck. Logan himself had quite a sizeable stack of chocolate gelt in front of him. And maybe Roman was feeling a bit mischievous, sue him. So he sneakily-not-so sneakily stole Logan’s stack of the biggest coins and slid it over to his meager pile. Logan merely gave Roman a side-eye and stole the coins back, but the glint in him eye told him Roman was SO getting it later.

And get it he did, because as soon as Roman and Logan were able to sneak away to Logan’s room, out of earshot from the adults downstairs, Logan wasted no time in pinning Roman to the bed.

“Eheheheh what?” Roman questioned.

“You stole from me. Now it’s time to pay” Logan replied dramatically whilst wiggling his fingers in the air. Romans eyes widened comically at the sight,

“You wouldn’t”.

“Oh I would”. With that Roman burst into laughter, which was only strange for one reason: Logan hadn’t actually started tickling him yet, which sent the shorter man into a flurry of giggles himself,

“ihi hahaven’t eheven tohouched you yehet”.

“Shut up” came the embarrassed reply.

“I’m gonna count to 10”, Logan proclaimed, much to Roman’s horror.

“1”

“nonono wait please don’t”

“2”

“Logan wait please I gave it back”

“3”

“It was a joke! I didn’t mean it! Please I’m sorry!”

“10.”

And with that, Roman couldn’t say much else as he had quickly descended into hysterics as Logan dug mercilessly into Roman’s ribs. He couldn’t even complain that Logan had skipped 4 5 6 7 8 and 9. That didn’t stop Logan from talking, however.

“Aww does that tickle? Is my Prince just sooo ticklish he can’t even handle just a few tickles on his wittle ribs?”

“I bet you’re sorry now. Was my gelt really worth this?”

“Can you stop laughing? I’m trying to talk to you. how rude!”

Roman meanwhile was dying as fingers were now spidering all over his tummy, leaving the poor boy in stitches.

“This will not end until you apologize for the stolen goods”

“Nehehever”

“Fine. I guess I’ll have to use drastic measures”. Logan’s hands began steadily creeping back up, awakening Roman’s ribs from their much deserved nap. They didn’t stop there however, a terrifying fact that Roman was coming to realize.

“No no no nohot there nohot there pleaheahease” he babbled helplessly, “I cahan’t tahake ihihit”

“Aww, but I thought you liked this Ro. Any last words?”

“Fuck you!” And those truly were his last words for awhile as Logan wormed his hands into Roman’s underarms and vibrated his fingers like ticklish shockwaves pulsing into Roman’s core. Roman was in the clouds. He couldn’t feel his surroundings and his eyes were squeezed shut. He could barely hear his own hysterical laughter over the deafening buzz of fire in his nerves. He couldn’t comprehend anything besides how much it tickled. The sensation blurred reality until he found himself wishing it would last forever while simultaneously needing it to stop that second. It was like oxygen that suffocated. He couldn’t stand it, but he needed it, more than he ever thought he’d need anything. But the feeling was quickly approaching “suffocating”. Fortunately, it suddenly stopped. Reality rushed back through him. Dull tingles racing through his body, soft sheets under him, warm and grounding Logan on top of him. Hands were on his face, in his hair, making sure he was okay.

“Thanks..Logi. That was- fuck”

“Anytime Ro” Logan smiled softly before slipping back into his “mad” voice,

“That’ll teach you not to steal from the great professor!”

“Oh yeah?” Roman questioned as he picked himself off the bed and switched their positions with admittedly little resistance from his boyfriend.

“I think you’ve got a lesson of your own to learn teach.” He said before lowering his voice to a low whisper,

“No-one messes with the prince and makes it out unscathed” And then Logan was in hysterics as the tables turned, fingers on his neck, his ears, his sides all tickling with too much vigor for someone who’d just been tickled to hysterics themselves. The sensations were simultaneously too much and too little, altogether overstimulating while his body kept craving more, more, more as he leaned into the touch instead of away, a fact which Roman was all too eager to point out.

“Aww enjoying yourself there Logi-bear? Is the great professor enjoying his wittle tickles?”

“NO! I HAHAHATE YOUHOUHOO”

“Do you now? I’m not hearing a stop~” At that Logan fell silent because truthfully he was enjoying the affection from his boyfriend. That’s what the holidays were about, after all. Not candles, or decorations, or silly games with spinning tops and chocolate. They were about creating silly memories with the people you love the most. And as he was laughing himself horse, Logan hoped Roman would be there to make these memories with him for many more Christmases and Chanukkahs to come. Because Roman brought happiness and laughter into Logan’s life. And Logan didn’t want to stop laughing for a long time. And so he wouldn’t. ;)

I hope this is okay writing wise. I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m doing my best.

Again I am so so so so fucking sorry uhhh happy Easter? Memorial Day I guess?? I’m so mad at myself for this I procrastinated way too long I don’t even have a good excuse anymore.

#tickle fic #my fics #December in May I guess #lee!logan #lee!roman #ler!logan #ler!roman #switch!logan #switch!roman #sandersides tickle #logince #logince tickle

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lil-toastie-boi · 21 days

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when you cant even scroll through your kin media tag because it just hurts too much

#sander sides #deceit sanders #sandersides #kin #kintypes #kintype #janus kin #fic #fictionkin

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annaizscribbling · 2 years

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The designs for all the kids (and Patton) from Just Out of Reach! Which you can read here

I love them and working on the fic is such a good time. It’s kinda gathered a lil cult following and I’ve never had such a good time with my comment section. All the theories and people telling me that I’m scaring them make my day <3

#patton sanders #just out of reach #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #sander sides #sandersides #thomas sanders #fic #fanart #anais draws

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virgils-screams · 1 year

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I Can't Believe It | Moxiety

I wanted something sweet - so here we are :)

TW: tooth rotting fluff (or an attempt at it)

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"I can't believe this is about to happen." Virgil paced back and forth in front of Logan, chewing at the corner of his thumbnail.

"You believe a hundred different scenarios of the lunch line at school, and yet, somehow it's unfathomable to be considering a confession of your love for Patton?" Logans eyebrows crinkled in confusion, adjusting their glasses carefully, as if still searching for an answer to his rhetorical query.

Virgil paused, glaring at him, shifting his weight before clearing his throat. "I've... Never done this before, Logan." He stepped closer. "What-what if Pat says no? I mean I'm nothing like him! I'm like his polar opposite? He's all sunshine and puppies! And-and I'm gloomy and-"

"Kitties?" Logan supplied, earning a pause, Virgil pausing and staring at them as if someone turned him off. Virgil laughed at the response, crossing his arms.

"How'd you get there, genius?" The amusement in his eyes was hidden under faux annoyance.

Logan smiled at that. "You were naming things you liked; Patton likes sunshine, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 puppies." Virgil nodded, waiting for them to elaborate. "And you like gloom and cats, however it did not ryhme, so I used kitties instead."

Virgils shoulders visibly relaxed, the tension in his shoulders melting away, even if only slightly. Virgil nodded in understanding, finally finding rest in his desk chair. Patton would be here soon, wanting to know why Virgil asked him to his house no doubt- and then, Virgil would bring him to his room and break the news. Patton was never one to shame others for their likes and intrests, it was the deciding factor of this visit. No matter what, Patton would understand, he'd be sweet, considerate. It was almost like it was against his nature to wish any ill will on a person.

Logan stood up, the light from the window covered the rooms floor, casting shadows of the furniture, and leaving the room with an orange glow. Grabbing their book bag, they walked to Virgils doorway, flipping on the light before it was too dark to see.

"I promised I would be at family dinner, so I better get going." They stated, turning to look at Virgil before they left. "And Virgil, no matter what, Patton will not ridicule you. I can assure that." Logan hoped they were encouraging to their friend as they crossed the threshold out into the hallway, Virgil just hummed in response, no doubt anxiety eating away in his stomach.

"Coming!" Virgil called, trying to remain calm as he made his way to the front door, breathing a few deep breaths before opening it. "Pat, hi!" He opened the door wider, stepping to the side to allow Patton to enter.

Patton's eyes lit up, smiling brightly. "Heya, Virgie!" Patton stepped inside, turning to face Virgil expectantly. It really didn't matter why he was here, as long as he got to hang out with Virgil. Virgil was a sight to behold, his hair messy from his hands running through it every few minutes, his eyes beautifully accentuated by his dark eye shadow, freckles trying to pop out from underneath his pale foundation. Virgil was absolutely adorable.

Virgils eyes darted around nervously, closing the door with trembling hands. He returned the big grin with his own small one. Patton was wearing overalls with a bunch of different patches that the group had bought to give him, a brown T-shirt underneath it, underneath the outer layer- a comfy space jacket that Patton borrowed (stole) from Logan. His glasses rested lopsided on the bridge of his nose, his bright blue orbs staring at Virgil happily- Patton was just the epitome of precious.

"I uh, let's go to my room first." Virgil fidgeted with a loose string on his patched jacket, leading Patton to the bedroom, nerves trying to claw up his throat, threatening to clamp his jaw shut as Patton sat down on his bed.

"Okie dokey, now what?" Patton giggled, hands folding in his lap as he waited patiently for his friend to continue.

Virgil swallowed hard, leg bouncing while he sat in his desk chair. Patton noticed and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Virgil sighed, adjusting the collar of his jacket while he shifted in his seat. "Well, nothings wrong, not really, I just uh.." He trailed off, nerves getting the better of him.

Pattons frown lightened, and he leaned in towards Virgil, carefully assessing him. "You alright there, kiddo?" He softly asked, concern hiding at the edges of his voice.

"Well, it's just- I uh.. Have something to tell you, something that I have wanted to for a real long time." He nervously got out, finally looking Patton in the eye.

Patton smiled reassuringly, a softness in his eyes, a warmth, that made him keep going.

"I-" he took a deep breath. "I have had a crush on you for a while now and I just wanted to let you know." He rushed out, wiping his hands on his ripped jeans, averting his gaze.

Patton stilled in his seat, frozen in shock maybe? Or horror. Honestly it's understandable, one of your closest friends just admitted to having feelings for you and- and that's a make or break type deal, like the weight of a building putting strain on the friendship when he rejects him-

Patton giggled once, unable to stop the fit that followed suit. Subsequently tearing Virgil from his spiral. "Uh.. Pat?" He hesitated, looking over at Patton who was grinning so wide you would think his face would split.

"Im-im sorry Virge, I just- I'm just so 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮! " he responded giddily.

Virgil sunk in his seat, accepted the rejection- wait, happy? He perked up in his seat. "Wait, do you mean-"

"Yes," Patton nodded, pulling Virgil up from his chair. "I've had a crush on you too, Virge." He whispered, locking his arms around Virgils neck loosely. He stared up at the purple haired boy, a grin almost permanently etched into his features. "I've had a crush on you since forever ago." He muttered sweetly, Virgil still wide eyed in his arms.

Finally, Virgil came back to his senses, a blush dusting his cheeks while his arms finally hugged Patton. "I can't believe it." Virgil breathed in disbelief.

Patton got up on his tippy-toes, and pressed a quick kiss to Virgils cheek. "Well, you'll have a lot of time for it to settle in, Virgie, and I'll be here when you do."

Virgil smiled and nodded, looking into Patton's eyes. "Yeah.. I like the sound of that." He whispered, leaning down and placing a small kiss for Patton's nose, earning him a light chuckle.

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Hope you enjoyed 💜

Words: 1106

Tag list {you can ask to be added or removed}:

@reiney-weather @helloidkwhatimdoing-0 @autumnpleaves @hedgiehoggles @emo-sunshine42 @sky-the-weirdo-ace @from-the-gall0ws @skylar-pansexualnerd19

#patton sanders #sander sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #sandersides #moxiety #fic writing #fanfic #tooth rotting fluff #fluff #confessions

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justablah56 · 2 years

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I wrote a thing :)

read it on Ao3 here

Sooo, have this little analogical roommates au that I decided to make up for this one specific oneshot (unless people like this au and want me to write more for it) !! Little bit of context, in this au all the sides are roommates, don't ask me how it works unless you want my very specific way that it looks and works out in my head so there's that. I'm just writing about these two gay dumbasses because them <3 :)

There's no trigger warnings for this fic, it's all fluff today. and for a bit of mostly irrelevant info, I have decided that Logan gets to be 5' 4 and Virgil gets to be 6' 5. because fuck you, tall Virgil and short Logan rights. also Virgil is definitely a tummy appreciator, and Logan just happens to have a tummy, I don't make the rules. and as per usual in my fics, Virgil uses they/them pronouns :)

Logan woke up groggy and exhausted. He had stayed up probably a little too late last night, and now his brain wouldn't even give him the mercy of sleeping in. Rather, it had woken him up earlier than normal. 4:03 in the morning to be exact, having gone to sleep not even 2 hours previously.

In summary, Logan was miserable. He even tried to go back to sleep, but after 27 minutes it was evident that it wasn't going to happen, so he decided it was about time he actually woke up.

He got up, slipping his glasses on, but not bothering to put on a shirt or change out of his baggy grey sweatpants. After all, it wasn't like anyone else was going to be awake this early.

He left his room for the kitchen to make some coffee for himself with the hopes that it would give him the energy to function properly.

After his coffee was done, he sat himself down on one of the chairs in front of the counter. Zoning out and just barely aware of anything else that was happening around him other than the steaming mug of coffee in his hand.

His mug was half empty before he really started to gain consciousness, and he noticed that there was something on the chair he was sitting on. He really only noticed since the chair, which usually was quite uncomfortable honestly, was now... not uncomfortable?

Whatever it was, it was pretty warm. And soft. And it smelled quite nice now that he thought about it.

He was still tired enough that this didn't register to his sleep deprived brain as anything important enough to divert actual thought into. So, of course, he continued drinking his coffee and just enjoying the comforting smell, feeling relaxed and content.

Virgil on the other hand, woke up that morning, feeling... off. They weren't sure exactly why. Well, that wasn't particularly unusual, being anxiety they often felt like something was wrong. But hey, if it was anything important they were sure they'd figure it out.

They got up out of bed, and then they realized what was wrong. Their hoodie was not hanging up where they always made sure to put it before bed. Fuck, this was not good. Not only were they going to be cold all day, but they wouldn't have their hoodie. And that also meant that they'd have to ask the others if any of them had seen it.

Well, wait a minute, no it didn't. They could find it themself. They always woke up earlier than everyone else, so maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to find it before anyone else woke up. It was still only 5 am, so they had two-to-three hours before anyone else was due to wake up, assuming everyone else didn't suddenly decide to differentiate from their usual schedule.

They would start with their room obviously, it was the most likely place after all, and then they would check the living room, and they could work it out after that. It was unlikely that it was anywhere else, really. There weren't a lot of places they was comfortable taking his hoodie off.

Well, they might as well start looking, it's not like the hoodie would find itself.

It wasn't until Logan had finished his coffee 30 minutes later that his brain finally caught up to his unusually comfortable chair and decided to actually look and see what he was sitting on. He turned back to see... Virgil's jacket?

What was that doing here? Virgil never went anywhere without their jacket, it was unlike them to just leave it lying around. They must've just forgotten it. Somehow. Virgil never just forgot their hoodie, Logan had never even seen them without it on! Something must've happened.

Well... Virgil would likely want to know where their jacket was when they woke up, so Logan should keep it on him, right? It was purely so that Virgil could get their hoodie back as quickly as possible. Obviously.

And therefore, it would only make sense for him to just wear it, then he wouldn't misplace it and he could just give it to Virgil once they woke up! Yes, that's what he would do, it was a perfectly great plan with no alternative motives. Of course.

Logan sighed. Well, there was no point in attempting to reason himself into believing that there was a decent reason he wanted to put on the hoodie, he knew why (though hed never admit it, of course) and he also knew he was going to do it anyway, so there was no point trying to give it an explanation.

He slipped the hoodie over his shoulders was immediately struck by how warm it was. Virgil must've had some sort of heating mechanism in it to keep it that way if it was still warm after being left out all night (presumably). That thought was immediately followed by how good it smelled. It didn't really have a discernable smell, other than just... Virgil.

No no. None of that. Just because he didn't have the optimum amount of sleep didn't mean he had to get all... feelings-y. So the next reasonable thing to do was continue with his morning routine. After all, waking up early doesn't mean he gets to mess up his whole schedule. Meaning that he had to get up from the counter to continue with his morning routine.

He dragged himself out of the chair, not bothering to zip up the jacket, but he did bother pulling the sleeve over his hand and bringing it to his nose to get another smell of the hoodie. Of Virgil. No. Stop. It didn't have anything to do with it smelling like Virgil specifically, it just smelled good. Virgil just (objectively) smelled good! It's an objective fact that Logan has no biases toward. Obviously.

The next thing he realized upon getting up from his chair was how big Virgil's hoodie was on him. Virgil already liked wearing large clothes, not to mention the fact that they were by no means short, standing a good foot or so taller than Logan himself. So putting those facts together meant that the hoodie went just above his knees, effectively keeping his bare torso warm (which was the only reason his face was red, thank you very much).

He then rinsed out his coffee mug, and started some toast. After all, breakfast was an important part of one's day. He really should've started it when he started his coffee like he did normally, but given that normally he didn't only get 2 hours of sleep, he felt he had at least a bit of leeway.

A few minutes later his toast popped up and Logan got the jelly out to put on it. He rolled up the sleeves on Virgil's jacket, it would do no good to get jelly on their jacket of course, and quickly prepared his little breakfast.

After he finished the slice of toast he made a quick stop by his room for a book to read for the next hour or so. Seeing as most of today's schedule depended on the others being able to help, he might as well use this free time to do something he actually enjoys.

He settled himself on the couch against one of the armrests and began to read.

Fuck. Virgil had spent the last hour checking every nook and cranny of their room and, lo and behold, their hoodie was nowhere to be found. Which meant, that they now had to go outside their room to search for it, with only one more hour to check the rest of the mindscape before everyone was supposed to wake up.

Well. They'd better hurry then. They pulled a shirt on, and slipped out their door towards the commons.

The sight they were met with as they reached the top of the stairs was enough to stop them in their tracks.

Right there. On the couch. Was Logan. Wearing their hoodie. Now, if it had been literally anyone else, Virgil would undoubtedly be at least a bit upset, but when it came to Logan, all they could do was stare as they felt their face heat up.

Logan was curled up leaning against the arm of the couch, one hoodie-concealed hand pressed to his face, the other holding his book open. And as if just the sight of Logan drowning in their hoodie wasn't enough to leave them a gay mess, he didn't have a shirt on.

At this point in time Virgil would like to pride themself on not passing out, because it was then that Logan seemed to deem it time to stop reading. He put in his bookmark and proceeded to stretch his arms up over his head, closing his eyes and yawning as Virgil's hoodie slipped over his bare chest.

Virgil's eyes went wide and were immediately drawn to the small pouch that was Logan's stomach. Goddamn it- why did Logan have to be so fucking cute and why did Virgil have to be so fucking gay.

It was then that Logan relaxed his arms and opened his eyes. Which wasn't the best thing when Virgil was currently standing completely and utterly still, enamored with just Logan, within Logan's vision field now that he wasn't focused on his book.

After Logan had finished a couple chapters, he decided that he should probably actually go get dressed. After all, he couldn't just wait for everyone else to wake up and see him half naked in Virgil's hoodie, he had a reputation. And now that he was properly awake, he probably shouldn't be wearing Virgil's hoodie whenever they decided to wake up, they were awfully touchy with their hoodie.

However, it appeared that he was just a bit too late- for as he stretched in preparation for getting up, he looked up to see who else? But Virgil themself standing at the top of the stairs, face red, eyes wide, and staring directly at Logan.

Well, not directly. Not his eyes, anyway. No, Virgil's eyes were focused, quite intently he might add, on Logan's stomach.

Logan immediately flushed and went to cover his bare torso with the hoodie, only to remember that the hoodie belonged to the very person right in front of him, struggling to get out of the hoodie to give it to them.

Logan looked back up to see Virgil's eyes had flicked up to Logan's as soon as Logan had moved to cover himself.

"Sh-shit sorry- I was- I was going to give it back when you woke up, I swear-" Logan began to stutter out.

It was then that they interrupted him with their own apology, "No- fuck- I, I - I didn't mean to- to stare or anything I just-"

They brought their hands up to cover their steadily reddening face as they quickly glanced away from him again, pointedly looking at the wall behind him.

After just a few moments of awkward (and very gay) silence and avoided eye contact from both of them,

"Erm- Virgil. You could- W- Would you like to have your hoodie back?" Logan asked hesitantly, beginning to take off the jacket, assuming their answer.

"Oh! Um," Virgil's gaze landed back on Logan's for a moment, "Yes? Well- no- you actually look really fucking cute in my hoodie and ohmyfuck I don't know why I just said that-" they rushed the last bit out, sounding absolutely mortified at what Logan was pretty sure they had just confessed.

Logan froze, "Y- Wait. What? I- You. think I'm cute?"

Virgil once again removed their hands from their still blazing face, "Er- Yes? I mean, have you seen yourself? Anyone who doesn't think you're cute is either blind or lying, so-"

"Virgil." Logan started, gaining some hidden confidence from god knows where as he took a few steps towards the stairs that Virgil was still standing atop. Perhaps he had been embolden by Virgil's words, or maybe it was just that Virgil had been the one to say them, but regardless whatever his brain decided to do with this newfound confidence, it was likely going to end up being overly blunt.

Virgil looked down at him, now looking a bit confused along with their flushed face. "Um. Yes, Logan?" they asked.

Logan stepped up the rest of the stairs until he had reached the top. "Kiss me?" he asked, looking up and hesitantly reaching for Virgil's hand.

Virgil froze, face going blank for a moment just long enough for Logan to doubt his ability to assess the current situation, before breaking out into a grin and answering with a "God yes." as they grabbed Logan's hand in one of theirs and wrapped their other arm around Logan as they leaned far enough down to press their lips against his own.

#sanders sides #sandersides #logan sanders #tss logan #virgil sanders #tss virgil #analogical #tall virgil #short logan #chubby logan #sander sides fic #my writing

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vivalaplxto · 2 years

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The Eye of a Hurricane

Consider it a sequel to this fic I wrote ages ago

Warnings: slightly unsympathetic sides (nothing triggering, Virgil just grabs Janus because he thinks he's scheming), mentions of blood and an attack (see prequel)

"You!"

Janus's bedroom door slammed open with shocking force, but the caplet-cladded side was unphased. Virgil's outbursts were to be expected whenever Janus impersonated his dearest friend.

"Ah, you're back—"

Janus hardly had time to respond before he was grabbed by the collar of his button-up and hauled from his desk chair, "What the hell did you do to Logan?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, snake. Why was he beaten and bloodied in his room?" Virgil's tone was sharp, venomous enough to kill.

Janus rolled his eyes in response, "I had nothing to do with that, now if you put me down I'll explain what's been happening with him."

And with that he was dropped to the floor as his ex-partner pouted and folded his arms, "right, fine, I'll bite. You knew about this before it happened, I'm assuming?"

"Yes—" the snake was cut off by Virgil's instinctive offensive stance, ready to threaten him again, "calm down, I'm not done. Anyways, yes I did, but I couldn't do anything to prevent it."

Virgil's head tilted and eyebrow rose. He seemed to find some comfort in being about as unprepared as his acquaintance, if he could even be considered one. "What do you mean?"

"You know how Logan is, and you've said it yourself; he gets upset when something doesn't go his way and so he makes it other's problem. That's something you understand very well, isn't it Virgil?"

Virgil hissed in retort to the snake's comment, "yeah, I guess you're right. What about it?"

Janus hummed and continued. "Well, it seems he did exactly that, his anger boiled inside him until it exploded."

"I don't get it."

"The thing that hurt him was himself."

The emo of the two dark sides furrowed his brows. "What do you mean he..." his eyes shot wide open in realization as he gripped his hoodie's fabric tighter.

"Yes, Virgil, I know what you're thinking because I'm thinking it too," Janus's expression fell into a much more distressed one, "there's another 'dark side' forming, and we don't know how to contain it... If that's even possible."

"This... Isn't good. Was he the flash of orange we all saw before the attack?"

Janus dusted his caplet and fidgeted with it's ends, "I don't want you to freak out, but yes. I'm just as unprepared as you for what is to come, I'm afraid."

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backgroundnewsiesarebomb · 2 months

Text

Hey! I'm doing a thing now cause I'm bored! If you have a character that you love and obsess over,

Or watch videos or read fanfiction while there's a light drizzle in your area. You could be nearing the end of your 100,000 fanfiction of the most indescribable things and one of your characters is going through their emotions whether they are good, bad, welcome, or uninvited and you wonder what its like to be in their shoes or to be a character near them....)

I am now doing song/playlist commissions!

You can send me a character that you like, and I can try to find as many songs as I can, you can also have to to be what situation that character is in physically or mentally, or it could just be about their character! I will try to respond as quickly as I can and give you a list of songs.

But I do need to warn you... My song preferences tend to lean towards AJR or Marina, stuff like that, but I still listen to everything. So, if you have a song preference, let me know, and I can try to accommodate that need. You can also send me fanfiction of your character, and I can try to make a playlist about that specific fic!

Fandoms

911, (not lonestar sadly :(

Hazbin Hotel

Httyd

Country humans

Sandersides

Newsies

South park

Youtubers(pretty much only smii7y or his close gang ((kryoz, puffer, blarg, grizzy, Droid, ect)) )

I also do all types of ships! ( kinda)

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

Text

Work of Art

Prompts: Hi! Umm firstly I just want to say I adore your fics! Especially the sanderside and Merlin ones 💜 Secondly, I don't know if you are taking promps right now but if you are I've had a idea bouncing around my head for a hurt/comfort Roman fic for... well longer then I care to admit 😅 I was thinking one were Roman in attempt to make amends he paints/draws everyone something representing how he thinks of them? In a kinda abstract but very positive way! (Extra points if everyone has already apologized to eachother but no one has apologized to him and he thinks he doesn't deserve any) and everyone loves the paintings but sadly Roman didn't do one representing himself so they can't have a set! except he very much did and it isn't flattering. I'm thinking some form of broken/rusting crown/sword and colors of brusing or some such. Followed up with realizations of how not great Roman is doing and much comfort. Sorry if this is to much but it feels like something you'd do really well if its not your vibe no worries and I hope you have a wonderful day! - ultrageekygirl

Hello, first of all I have to say I really really love your writing even if I don't leave any comments. I've had to have read all your work about 3 times now but I haven't much counted. I was wondering if maybe you could write some hurt/comfort with Logan? Like how he can't get a word in edge wise and it's no fault of the other sides they just don't seem to notice? And slowly he just learns to stop talking and contributing. And like maybe Roman notices and they have a heart to heart late at night? U don't like have to do this if u don't want to it's just an idea I suppose. -a dutiful reader

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-esteem issues, self-doubt

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 5741

Out of all the things that Roman could be doing right now, he finds himself staring at the easel in the corner of his room.

It’s just gone sunset and everyone’s split up after dinner to wind down for the evening. Dinner hadn’t been anything spectacularly good or bad, not really. No one got into a fight, no one was celebrating anything, it was the perfect small-talk-and-eat meal.

He tries not to feel too disappointed and then not to hate himself for feeling disappointment.

Deciding that there are far too many thoughts buzzing about his head for him to even think about going to sleep, he gets up and goes over to the easel, unfolding it and setting it up in the middle of his room. He snaps his fingers to get out of his prince costume and reaches for the paints and brushes on a nearby shelf.

As he sets them up, the buzzing begins to solidify.

Everyone has been—well, not quite walking on eggshells but wary around each other. As though the smallest thing could set off another argument that would lead to a massive disagreement that could shatter whatever tenuous peace they’ve achieved. He knows it’s making Virgil antsy as hell and it probably isn’t too much of a stretch to believe that it’s wearing on everyone else too. Patton, at least, who can very much tell that something’s up with Thomas and so something’s probably up with the Sides too. And Logan, who’s never been one to hold his tongue if he truly believes something is wrong. Janus…Janus probably knows too. He can hear every lie in the Mindscape and Roman knows that there have been a damn sight more flying around lately. And Remus…well, Remus thrives in chaos.

Chaos abounds.

He looks back at the easel, chewing on his lip.

What if…what if he helped?

Not in any obvious way, not in any proactive way, not anything that would actually do that much, he’s learned his lesson when it comes to making big swings, but…maybe just to let them know he doesn’t have any hard feelings about anything that’s happened? That he still loves them?

A white canvas appears on the easel and Roman reaches for a brush.

———

He finishes Patton’s first, maybe just because Patton and feelings go closely together, maybe because he found himself reaching for a light blue color first, or maybe just by chance.

“Um, hey, Patton?”

Patton looks up from a book in the living room, smile coming a little slowly to his face but no less genuinely. “Oh, hey, kiddo! What’s going on?”

“Can I show you something?”

A flicker of surprise crosses his face and he stands up quickly. “Yeah! Yeah, kiddo, you can show me anything. Is it in the Imagination? Where are we going today?”

Roman blinks, slightly taken aback by the sudden enthusiasm. He must pause for a second too long because Patton’s looking at him in concern.

“Roman? You—you okay?”

Snap out of it. “Yes, yes, sorry, I just—“ he scratches the back of his head— “I guess it’s been a while, huh?”

“Since you wanted to show me stuff? Yeah, kiddo, it’s been a while, but that’s why I’m so excited! I want to see what you made!”

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth and he bows, gesturing elegantly up the stairs. “Right this way, then.”

Patton beams and they make their way upstairs. He almost reaches for the door to the Imagination before Roman reaches out and shakes his head, tangling Patton’s fingers in his and leading him further down the hall.

“It’s in my room.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Are you…disappointed?”

“No! No, no, I still really want to see what you’ve made, I…” He shuffles a bit as they come to a stop. “Okay, maybe I’m a little disappointed.”

Something twitches in Roman’s chest. Has he really been so stingy with Imagination time? “After I show you, we could still go in the Imagination, there’s a, um, there’s a new forest that I think you’d like.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure.” He smiles and pushes open the door. “Come in, it’s right over here.”

Patton walks in and stops, his eyes glued to the canvas. His mouth drops open and he grabs Roman’s arm. “Roman—oh, kiddo, did you do this?”

“Yeah,” he says a bit sheepishly, scratching the back of his head again, “it’s, um…it’s you.”

His eyes widen even further. “It’s me?”

Roman gestures to the canvas, upon which an almost anatomically correct heart has been painted in soft blues, yellows, and purples. Surrounded by paint splatters that look almost like shadows, the heart seems to pulse in a mysterious blue aether when it catches the light just right.

“Yeah, Padre, that’s…well, I guess it’s kinda how I see you.”

Patton turns to look at him, his eyes reluctant to leave the canvas, staring up at Roman. Roman swallows.

“You…you’re—“ god, this is so much harder out loud— “you do a lot of work that goes unnoticed sometimes. Like just keeping us understanding that we’re having feelings and emotions but we’re not our feelings and emotions and—I don’t know, you just—you feel like a constant to me, you know?”

Silence follows his comments—that were not said to Patton’s face directly, he’s not brave enough for that—and Roman winces, worried he’s said something wrong or not said enough or maybe the colors are just wrong.

“I mean maybe it’s a bit too literal with the whole heart thing, so—“

A sniffle and a tight grip on his arm and Patton shakes his head wildly. “No, no, kiddo, it’s—it’s beautiful.”

“…you like it?”

“Oh, sweetheart, I love it!” Patton claps his hands and reaches out to squeeze Roman’s shoulder again. “It’s—it’s—well, gosh, I don’t have the words to describe it!”

The heaviness flickers as Roman smiles in relief, sagging a bit into Patton’s touch. “I’m happy you like it.”

“How could I not? Oh, kiddo, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“If you want help moving it, I can—“

“Moving it?” Patton looks up sharply. “What do you mean, moving it?”

“Well, it’s yours. You can put it wherever you want it.”

“Can we hang it in my room?”

“Yeah, Padre,” Roman says, trying to hide how giddy he is that Patton likes it so much he wants to hang it in his room, “we can put it in your room.”

Patton squeals excitedly and snaps on a pair of gloves as Roman carefully covers it with a sheet. They pick it up and walk it down to Patton’s room, carefully propping it against the bed as Patton looks around for where to hang it.

“Can I put it right above my bed?”

“Sure. Hold that side?”

“Here?”

“Yes. Let’s just—is that height right?”

“Looks good, yes.”

“Alright, and then let’s just…okay, there. That should be in the right spot.”

They step back to look at it and Patton throws his arms around Roman. “Oh, kiddo, I really do love it.”

Roman chuckles. “Still want to go to the Imagination?”

“Can I stand here and look at it for a little longer?”

“Sure, Padre.”

———

He finishes Logan’s next, probably because he was too lazy to wash all the blue off of one of his brushes and the buzzing decided it liked how it looked. He takes a bit longer with this one just because keeping his brushstrokes so even was much more time-consuming than he’d anticipated, but it’s worth it when he steps back to see the result.

He knocks on Logan’s door.

“Come in?”

Roman swallows and opens the door, smiling a bit when he sees Logan glancing over from his computer. “Hey, Specs. Can I borrow you for just a moment? Won’t be more than ten minutes, promise.”

“Ah, Roman, hello.” Logan glances at a clock. “Yes, I suppose I can spare ten minutes. What is it you need?”

“I want to show you something.”

Logan covers it well, but he falters a little as he gets up, quickly adjusting his tie. “Is this in the Imagination?”

“No, no, just in my room. Promise.”

“Alright.”

He tries not to fidget too obviously with his hands as he leads Logan back to his room, opening the door and gesturing for him to go through first. Logan accepts with a nod and goes in, glancing around before his eyes land on the easel.

“That’s it,” Roman says quietly as he shuts the door, “that’s what I wanted to show you. It’s for you.”

Logan doesn’t say anything, still looking at the canvas. A still body of water surrounded by mountains of galaxy, a single drop falling from some unknown height to make ripples that look as if they were molded from the fabric of the universe itself. Roman comes up hesitantly behind him, trying to get a glimpse of his face.

“It’s, um…it’s how I see you.”

Still nothing. Shit. Maybe he needs to explain more?

“You’re—you’re really clever, Logan, and not just in that you’re smart and you know a lot of things, but you—you get a bunch of stuff that goes way over my head and you always seem to know how it, like, fits? Like into the whole universe, you can just find the right place for a piece of information to go like you’re solving a puzzle and you make it look so—so—so natural.” He fiddles with his hands. “And I remembered that thing we were talking about with drops of water and how if you add another drop it’s still just one drop.”

Nice going, dunce. How are you connecting that to what you just said?

“A-and I know I’ve been—we’ve been—well, really, I’ve been pushing you more and more to the side and I know that’s not fair of me and I wanted you to know that I don’t just see you as there to provide the footnotes for a conversation or be just an encyclopedia or anything s-so I—“

Logan swallows.

“I—I mean—“

He cuts off when Logan turns to face him slowly with the softest expression he’s ever seen.

“…Specs?”

“Roman,” Logan says quietly, “this is magnificent.”

He swallows. “You…you like it?”

Logan just nods, looking back at the painting. “It’s extraordinary. The way you’ve used color and shadow to draw the focus to the center of the ripples, the way your scale has come together…”

Roman smiles helplessly as Logan begins to explain all the things he finds technically fascinating about the painting. He glances at the clock by his computer.

“Logan? I’m sorry, I don’t want to interrupt, but I did promise I wouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

Logan just pauses and looks at him with a smile. “I think I can extend to fifteen.”

He really has missed getting to listen to Logan talk. He really needs to be better about that.

———

Virgil’s up next and Roman decides he’s never going to look at purple paint again unless he’s throwing it at a wall. He shakes his head and glances at all the tiny brushes and sponges and spends a good half an hour in the bathroom trying to get them all clean.

He texts Virgil when he’s done.

Me: hey are you really busy?

shadowling: no what do u want

Me: can i show you something?

shadowling: sure where

Me: my room

shadowling: k be rite there

Roman lets out a breath and glances at the painting one last time. This’ll be fine. This will be fine.

God, he hopes this is going to be fine.

A knock at the door. “Open up, Princey.”

“Coming!”

Virgil jerks his head at him. “Hey. What’d you want to show me?”

“Um…”

“Do not tell me you asked me here for no reason.”

“No, no, I just—oh, just come in.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow but does, stepping through. “I swear, Roman, if you just go the out of my room so Remus can put shit in there again, I’m gonna…”

His eyes land on the painting and his words trail off into silence. That’s…that’s probably a good sign, right?

Roman glances over again to see the massive spider in the middle of an expansive web dried just right, crouched in the middle of a shadowscape that seems to extend past the boundaries of the canvas. Silver glints off of some of the strands of the web, glitter packed carefully in tight little lines to catch the light just right.

“It’s for you.”

“Shut up.”

Roman slams his mouth shut. Okay. Maybe this isn’t a good thing. Is the spider too literal? Maybe he should’ve gone with something else.

“Shut up,” Virgil repeats, even though Roman hasn’t said anything, “shut up, Princey, you did not—you did not—“

He smacks Roman’s shoulder.

“You made this for me?”

“Y-yeah, it’s, um…” Fuck it. “It’s how I see you.”

“How you what?”

“You—you always talk about spiders being at the center of their webs so they can feel everything and I guess it just reminded me of you. Of how you, you know, you keep an eye on literally everything so you can warn us if there’s danger. I thought it was cool so I…”

Virgil mutters a curse under his breath. “Damn you, Princey, we were even.”

“We were what?”

“We were even.” Virgil smacks his shoulder again. “You go and do something this fucking incredible now? This—you made a fucking masterpiece for me and now I gotta deal with this? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Do you like it or not,” Roman asks weakly, “Virgil, I don’t—I don’t understand.”

“Of course I fucking like it, it’s fucking amazing.”

“Then why are you mad at me?”

“Oh, shit, Princey, I’m not—I’m not actually mad.” He knocks their elbows together. “I’m just—you know I’m bad with…stuff like this.”

“Like accepting things people give you?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, I forgot about that. I’m sorry, I—“

“Don’t you fucking dare. This is great, I’m keeping it, you’re incredible, and now I’m gonna figure out some way to pay you back because I want to and you deserve it.”

Roman has absolutely no idea what’s going on anymore but Virgil seems to be happy with it so he’ll take it as a win.

“Do you want help moving it to your room?”

“Absolutely I do.”

———

Janus is up next and Roman is seriously considering getting one of those voice-activated light systems so he doesn’t have to keep getting up to turn the lights on and off.

He goes to knock on Janus’s door and fully startles when the door swings open unprompted.

“Roman,” Janus says smoothy, raising an eyebrow when he stumbles back, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

He takes a moment to catch his breath and looks back up. “I wanted to see if you were free.”

“Perhaps I am, what is it you wanted?”

“I wanted to show you something.”

The eyebrow just ticks higher.

“In my room.”

Now both eyebrows are raised.

“Not like that, Janus, I just—please?”

“Oh, alright,” he sighs, shutting the door and looking way too much like some aristocrat who’s been terribly put out, “but this better be worth it.”

I hope so too.

He opens the door to let Janus in and hovers by it, watching anxiously as Janus’s eyes land on the painting.

“…Roman, just you do this?”

He nods, then realizes Janus is currently facing away from him and so can’t see. “Yes. Yeah, I…I did it. It’s for you.”

“For me, you say?”

“Yeah, um…hold on.”

He flicks off the lights and Janus doesn’t have time to stifle his gasp.

What had once been a simple pair of hands reaching out into the vastness of an abstract cityscape now has glowing lines leading from each finger down to various corners of the canvas. Glistening knots tie around each finger and behind them all, lurking off in the shadows, is a single yellow eye with a slit pupil.

“I tried to pick out the paint so it would glow but it wouldn’t be too bright in the dark,” Roman explains, “and I tried to make it so it looks good in the dark or the light.”

Janus turns to look at him, barely visible in the dim light. Just by the intensity of it, Roman can tell he’s narrowed his eyes. “What do you want, Roman?”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me,” Janus says, voice firm, “what is it that you want from me?”

“Nothing, I—ah!”

For Janus had reached out and taken his chin in the dark, jerking his head up, the grip startling him terribly as he fumbles for the light switch again. He turns it back on to see Janus staring hard at him.

“I don’t want anything,” he mumbles around the hand, “I just wanted to give it to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I—it’s how I see you, you should have it.”

“Some puppet master, pulling strings behind the scenes?”

“No!” Fuck, this went really badly. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “I—you can see through things in ways that I can’t and you want—you want what you want and you know how to get it and I think that’s really cool and so I—Janus, I can’t breathe—“

He gasps as the hand leaves his chin, rubbing his neck a bit as Janus turns back to the painting. He’s quiet.

“…I think you’re cool,” he mumbles lamely, “so I…made it.”

“And this is…for me?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“No, no strings.”

Janus turns to him again, hand raised to brush his chin and Roman does his best to stifle the flinch. He doesn’t grab him this time, just lifts it slightly so they can look each other in the eye.

“Thank you, Roman,” Janus says after what feels like ages, “I like it.”

“Can you just say that next time?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

———

Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus.

There’s really only one thing he can do.

When he’s finished, he doesn’t bother to clean the paint from himself or snap himself back into his prince costume. He just sinks out to Remus’s room and tackles his brother to the bed.

“What—Ro!” Remus shrieks in delight and tries to roll on top of him. “Ro-bro!”

“Hey, Re.” Roman doesn’t let him roll them, burying his head in Remus’s neck to make him laugh. “Got something to show you.”

“Imagination?”

“Nope. My room.”

“Ooh!”

Remus doesn’t bother to get up, just sinks them both back to Roman’s bed, almost crushing Roman into the mattress before he scrabbles up to hit him with a pillow.

“Whoa, hey, hey, careful! You’ll knock it over!”

“Knock what—oh.”

Remus goes still. Roman pushes himself up carefully to see Remus staring in shock at the painting.

A black and white landscape that looks like it’s black lines on paper, only for there to be a figure in the center with its hands dug into it. Out of the points of contact, wild colors spill out with reckless abandon, flooding the nearby whiteness until it almost hurts to look at.

“R-ro?”

“Yeah?”

“’S that—that me?”

Roman smiles and sits up, hugging his brother as Remus clings to him. “Yeah, Re. That’s you. That’s how I see you.”

“‘M not just a mess?”

“You’re a mess and it’s glorious.” Roman glances back at the painting. “I think I just missed you.”

“Aw, Ro, I missed you too!”

Roman laughs as Remus tackles him back to the bed. “So you like it?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes! If I could eat it, I would!”

“That’s the best compliment I could ever ask for.” He tries to move but Remus growls. “So you’re staying for a while, huh?”

“Yep. Put on a movie, we’re not going anywhere. My Ro-bro.”

Roman smiles and waves his hand to start a movie on his computer. Being Creativity with his brother is something he’ll never get tired of.

———

“I must say,” Logan remarks as he steps back, “they all look as though they fit.”

“Yeah, right?” Virgil leans against the couch. “I’m never doubting Princey again, jeez.”

“They do look really good.” Patton shakes his head and takes a drink of water. “Do you think he planned it that way?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“I dunno, he said he did them kinda one after the other. Maybe he just sees us in a way that fits.”

They turn as Janus and Remus appear, each carrying their own paintings. Janus pauses as he lays his down to be hung up next.

“…magnificent,” Logan murmurs, “aren’t they?”

Janus hums, eyes still roving over the paintings. “Why isn’t Thomas a painter if Roman can do this?”

“I presume it’s easier in the Mindscape than it would be to translate to Thomas’s hands.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Holy shit, J, that’s cool as fuck.”

“I know,” Janus preens, “it glows in the dark too.”

“Wait, for real? Lemme see!”

Patton flicks the light off and they all coo over the way Janus’s changes in the dark.

“Oh my god, that’s so cool.”

“Thank you.”

“Can it go next to mine? Spiders, strings, all that.”

“I don’t see why not.”

They quickly hoist Janus’s into place next to Virgil’s. Remus motions to the empty space next to Logan’s. “Can we put mine there?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Wait, let’s put it in between mine and yours, Logan,” Patton says, “the colors—“

“Yes, the colors.” Logan quickly shifts the two around. “Alright, Remus, let’s just—there.”

“These look so cool!” Patton claps his hands. “So, so, so cool!”

“What does?”

They all turn to look at Roman as he comes down the stairs, beaming and gesturing to their wall of paintings. Roman’s eyes widen as he sees all of their paintings hung up next to each other along one of the walls in the living room.

“…whoa.”

“Be proud of yourself,” Logan says softly, “you did an incredible job.”

“They look great together,” Virgil agrees, “you’re a wizard.”

“Now all we need is yours,” Patton says as he throws an arm around Roman’s shoulders, “and we’ll be all done?”

Something in Roman’s chest grows cold. “…mine?”

“Well, yeah, you silly, how else are we going to have a complete set?”

“O-oh.” Roman shifts out from under his arm. “You don’t…you don’t want mine up there.”

Janus frowns. “Why not?”

“It’s, um, it doesn’t go.”

“Wait, you did one for yourself already?” Virgil perks up. “Can we see it?”

“It won’t go with the rest of them, it’s okay, I’ll just keep that one in my room—“

“Roman,” Logan interrupts gently, “can we see it?”

“I, um—“ he looks around to see everyone staring at him hopefully— “yeah, yeah, you can see it.”

He isn’t expecting all of them to hop up and gather like a gaggle of ducklings, but he turns and trudges wearily back up the stairs to his room.

Don’t, a voice inside warns, don’t do this. You’ll ruin it. You’ll just ruin it. You said you weren’t going to do anything big and this is big. It’s selfish. Don’t make them look at it. Just lie and say you were wrong, say something, just don’t let them see.

But he’s already at his door and Janus is looking at him strangely.

“…what?”

“You were thinking about lying.”

“No, I wasn’t! Besides, you can’t hear that anyway.”

“No, I can’t, but you did just lie about not thinking about it.”

Fuck. Roman bites his lip and turns away, shame at being caught and tricked flushing his cheeks. He pushes open the door slightly harder than necessary and winces as it bangs against the wall.

“Roman,” Patton says slowly, “if you really don’t want to show us—“

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just—“

“Well, just because it seems like you—“

“He’s being vulnerable,” Remus growls suddenly, “give him a second to figure out what that means.”

Roman closes his eyes and thanks every single hope and dream he’s ever had for Remus.

When he’s gathered himself a bit more, he crosses the room to a canvas covered with a sheet and rests his hand on it. The fabric rubs against his fingers and he debates leaving it covered. He could say no. He could make something up. He could do a lot of things that aren’t showing them this painting.

Aren’t showing them him.

But then he looks back over to see all their expectant faces and he takes a deep breath.

The sheet swishes as he pulls it free.

———

A white canvas appears with an easel and Roman reaches for a brush.

Because really, what has he done lately? He just causes problems. He shuts Logan out so he can’t say a damn thing when he’s the closest hope they have to actually getting somewhere. He pokes at Virgil just to make him snap back so he has an excuse for ebbing as sassy as he wants. He shores Patton up like he’s some great paragon of virtue and then throws a tantrum when he scolds him for doing so. He’s like a child throwing a hissy fit with Janus, always jumping and climbing the walls to try and get away from him like he doesn’t deserve the scorn and ridicule.

And he treats Remus like he’s the worst thing to ever exist.

The brush flies across the canvas and he splatters paint across himself.

Why is he doing this, anyway? Is he doing this because he cares about them or only to make himself feel better? If he’s doing it for the latter, he might as well not do it at all.

He reaches for another brush and red drips off the bristles.

He shouldn’t be doing this, then, he should be doing something less selfish. Something better. Something that isn’t him. Or something that is him but is…better.

Maybe he just needs to get it out. Get all the him out so that there won’t be anything left when he goes to paint the others.

So he does.

He paints and he paints and he paints.

And when he steps back to see what he’s done, he falls to his knees and buries his face in his hands.

———

Roman turns away as soon as the painting is unveiled, folding the sheet to be put back in its place as the others let out little noises.

He knows what they’re looking at.

A crown, broken and mangled next to a rusted and bloodied blade. A hand lying limply next to it, fingertips rubbed red and raw, scratched and bruised with calluses split open. Fingers that reach toward the objects because they don’t know how to do anything else. Unlike the others, which veer much closer to abstract shapes and fantastical colors, this one is rendered faithfully to the grim tones of the possible.

He doesn’t want them to see him and yet he’s never been more exposed.

“Roman,” Logan says, softly, softly, too softly, “may I give you a hug?”

May he…what?

“Me too,” Patton says and oh, no, it sounds like he’s crying, “oh, sweetheart…”

“Come here, Roman,” Janus is bidding now and he feels himself begin to move before he stops and curls his arms closer to himself, “Roman, come here.”

“You’re scaring him, J,” comes Virgil’s voice, “you gotta let him have a second.”

Roman squeezes his eyes shut.

“Ro,” Remus says from much closer, “I’m gonna put my arms around you now.”

Remus leans against him, warm and solid, and his arms wrap around his waist. He rests his forehead against the back of Roman’s neck and breathes in deeply.

“Ro,” he mumbles, “you gotta…you gotta let me hug you more often.”

No. No, he doesn’t.

“Don’t lie, sweetie,” Janus murmurs and he’s closer now too, “don’t lie and say you don’t need it. Let us hug you, please?”

Selfish. Selfish and stupid and needy.

“You’re not,” he says, voice growing sharper, “you are not selfish for wanting to be comforted.”

“Oh, sweetheart—“ no, he’s made Patton upset— “come—come here, sweetheart, come here.”

“Don’t overwhelm him,” Virgil mumbles and oh, he’s closer too, “Princey, can you open your eyes?”

He shakes his head.

“Okay. Can you listen to me?”

He nods.

“You’re panicking. Let Remus just hold you, okay? We’re not going anywhere, we’re not gonna hurt you, but you gotta calm down.”

Remus is holding him. Remus is right here. Remus isn’t leaving. Remus squeezes him around the waist and tugs him down to the bed. Remus is here. Remus isn’t mad.

Janus takes his hands in his gloved ones and starts to squeeze gently. Janus isn’t hurting him. Janus doesn’t seem mad either. Janus is here.

Virgil is helping him breathe. Virgil told him to calm down. Virgil said they aren’t leaving. Virgil doesn’t seem to be mad.

Logan has a hand on his back. Logan is warm. Logan isn’t mad either. Logan is talking softly to him and calling him dear one. Logan doesn’t do that when he’s mad.

Patton must have turned off the lights. Patton cups his face and wipes away his tears. Patton is calling him sweetheart and Patton can’t be mad at him. Patton’s here.

Roman opens his eyes slowly and realizes oh, I am panicking.

Of course, as soon as he realizes it, he starts to hyperventilate in Patton’s hold and Remus quickly rolls them over so he can lean his whole weight on Roman’s chest. The deep pressure cuts through the worst of the haze until he can breathe again, gasping out that he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to be so dramatic, he really didn’t mean to—

“None of that, now,” Logan chides gently, “you’re upset and that’s alright. Take your time.”

Roman swallows painfully and Remus rubs his chest.

“You’re going great, Ro-bro, you really are.”

“I’m—I’m sorry, I just—I didn’t realize you’d—that you’d want to see and I—I—“

“Hey, Princey, it’s okay.” Virgil runs a hand through his hair. “You’re just kinda fragile right now and that’s okay.”

“B-but you don’t like me fragile, I’m not supposed to be—“

“We like you,” Janus interrupts, squeezing his hand again, “and that means you get to be a bit of a mess about it.”

“Janus,” Patton scolds, “be nice.”

“That is him being nice, unfortunately.”

Remus just hunkers down so Roman can breathe easier again. “You’re doing great. You don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

“We can figure everything out with the paintings later,” Logan agrees, “for now, let us be here for you.”

Roman has no idea what’s going on anymore but Remus is warm and solid and heavy and Logan is being nice and soft and Janus is still holding his hands and Virgil is telling him how to breathe and Patton is drawing the curtains so some of the soft light of the sunset comes in and maybe—

Maybe this is okay for right now.

———

(Later, Remus will quietly ask if that’s really how he sees himself. Roman might say nothing, but he might say yes.)

(Remus might politely call him a fucking idiot and tell him he looks like an explosion right when it’s happening and all you can see is light and feel the rush of energy through your body.)

(Logan might say that Roman is the whirl of electricity when you understand something for the first time and how it feels to see the dots connect in front of you.)

(Janus might say that Roman is the way you know your bed is going to be soft and warm at the end of a long cold day and you can’t wait to crawl into it.)

(Virgil might say that Roman is the buzz and bubble of excitement when you do something you thought you couldn’t for the first time.)

(Patton might say that Roman is the safety you feel when you’re out in a new place you don’t know and you find one friend that hovers by you the whole time in case you want someone to hug.)

(Roman might cry. Again.)

(And maybe he’ll be able to paint something that does finish the set with the others.)

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