#san royal au part 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edenesth · 4 days

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TWTHH Spinoff: Love to Hate You [1]

Pairing: royal secretary!San x female scholar!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 5k

Summary: San prided himself on his knack for building easy connections with women, viewing himself as a trusted ally for the opposite gender. Thanks to his deep bonds with his mother and sister, he possessed keen insights into the female mindset. Never did he imagine facing the ire of a woman, until he encountered a resolute female scholar with a strong dislike towards men.

A/N: As stated in the title, this is a spinoff. If you have yet to check out the main story, it's probably better to read that before starting this.

Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 2

"Moon Siwoo, you get over here this instant!" you commanded, hands planted firmly on your hips as you glared at your twelve-year-old brother, who grumbled and rubbed his eyes sleepily while trudging reluctantly toward you.

"But noona, it's too early!" he protested, his pout aimed at evoking your sympathy, but you merely shook your head in disapproval.

Your mother sighed beside you. "Please go easy on him," she implored, but you met her plea with a stern gaze. "And who went easy on me, mother? If you keep coddling him like this, he'll grow up to be just another one of those entitled brats who call themselves a man. Is that what you want?"

Defeated, she fell silent and retreated to prepare lunchboxes for you and your brother. The silence spoke volumes, conveying the weight of the elderly woman's guilt as she grappled with your palpable disdain for men. Ever since little Siwoo came into the world, you had made it your mission to ensure he wouldn't become one of those disappointing individuals who claim to be men.

Of course, your dislike wasn't unfounded.

Your late father, already lacking as a parent, succumbed to his drinking problem not long after your brother's birth, leaving you, the eldest, to shoulder the family's responsibilities. But that wasn't the worst of it; his demise was overshadowed by the circumstances of his death—a result of excessive drinking in a brothel, of all places. It was a fact that brought you little sorrow.

Throughout your childhood, he imposed expectations meant for a son onto you, driven by his own unfulfilled aspirations of becoming a respected scholar in Joseon society. However, his misguided attempts at moulding you into his image of success involved subjecting you to gruelling and excessive lessons from a young age. At that time, your mother held little sway and dared not challenge him. Consequently, there was no one to shield you from his demands.

The irony lay in his expectations for you to excel, despite setting a horrible example. He often cited stress as justification for indulging in alcohol, initially venturing out for brief outings with "friends" before progressively extending his absences. Eventually, his nights away grew longer until he would vanish entirely, only returning the following morning reeking of different women's perfumes each time.

Therefore, you would be lying if you said you didn't harbour resentment toward your father. Discovering his passing brought a sense of relief, even if it meant assuming a heavier burden on your young shoulders. Life had never been easy for you in the first place, and you gladly accepted the added responsibility of supporting your mother and younger brother without the presence of a tyrant dictating your actions at home.

Yet, just when you thought the worst was over, you bore witness to the struggles faced by women around you as you juggled odd jobs while pursuing your studies independently, preparing for the state examination—the initial step toward achieving the status of a scholar-official. During this period, you witnessed firsthand how women were often relegated to the roles of mere child-bearers and servants to men who offered little in return. It was almost funny how they depended on women for everything while simultaneously treating the female gender as inferior.

This realisation fueled your determination to become the first female scholar, not to uphold your useless father's legacy, but to advocate for the marginalised women who lacked influential advocates to champion their cause and facilitate change.

Over a decade has passed since those tumultuous times. Now that Siwoo had reached an appropriate age, you resolved to enrol him in school after years of personally tutoring him to impart basic knowledge and skills, aiming to cut costs. You had taught him enough to grasp reading and writing. With him now eligible to enter the foundational levels of education mandated for embarking on the path to becoming a scholar-official, you were resolute in instilling him with your aspirations.

"Too early, you say? Would you rather rise with the sun for school or face punishments then?" you challenged, lifting an eyebrow.

Amusement danced in your eyes as the child's gaze widened in fear, vigorously shaking his head. "No, please! I'll behave and go to school! Spare me from standing in the corner for hours again, noona!"

"Now, that's my good boy," you gentled your tone, tousling his hair affectionately and straightening his slightly dishevelled hanbok. "How many times have I reminded you to tie the ribbons neatly like this? The teachers will scold you if they're not done properly, and you wouldn't want to make a poor impression on your first day. You'll make mother and me proud, won't you?"

He grinned brightly, "Yes, noona!"

Watching from the sidelines, your mother's heart swelled with warmth. Despite your stern demeanour at times, she was aware you loved him more than anything, knowing you could never be overly harsh. You had a knack for striking the right balance, teaching valuable lessons while showing him care and affection. Even as her daughter, she sometimes felt there was much she could learn from you.

"Alright, here are your lunchboxes, kids. Make sure to finish them, okay?" she instructed, passing the bags to you, receiving a smile in return.

"Got it! Don't worry, mother!" he chirped, saluting playfully.

"Thank you, mother. You should rest well while this little monkey heads off to school. How's your back feeling? I can swing by the apothecary for more herbs if you need any," you offered.

She shook her head, gently patting your cheek. "I'm fine, dear. Don't spend money unnecessarily. Some rest will do. Now hurry along before you both end up late."

With an arm around Siwoo, you guided him alongside you after bidding farewell to your mother. Your next stop was dropping him off at the nearest school before heading to the palace yourself to borrow some books not readily available in the public library. Having already passed the first two preliminary examinations with flying colours, only the final one stood between you and the coveted title of scholar-official. You were determined to complete it all swiftly, eager to finally begin making tangible contributions for the women of Joseon.

As you reached the entrance of your alma mater, you handed your brother his bag. "Alright, the teachers are expecting you. Please remember to behave and keep in mind what I've taught you—always be respectful and avoid causing trouble for anyone. Stay attentive and don't hesitate to ask questions if you're unsure. You won't learn anything by staying silent," you reminded, smoothing down his hair.

He nodded earnestly. "I won't forget, noona."

You grinned, pinching his cheek gently. "Good, I'll be here to pick you up after school. Wait right here if I haven't arrived yet. And don't wander off with anyone, understood?"

He swatted your hand away, rubbing his cheek. "Yeah, yeah. How could I forget? You've been drilling that into me for a week now. Bye, noona."

"Goodbye, Siwoo," you murmured, watching him enter the school gates and noticing the familiar figure of one of your teachers, Master Lee, waiting to greet him. Meeting the kind elderly man's gaze, you bowed deeply in gratitude. He was one of the few genuinely good men you had encountered in your life. Back then, understanding the difficulties you faced with your father's strictness, he had always strived to ease your burdens at school. Being the lone girl in a predominantly male institution also made you susceptible to bullying, but in this teacher's presence, you found solace.

He had also played a crucial role in securing your brother's enrollment. While your own admission might have been facilitated by your father's connections, the same couldn't be said for Siwoo, lacking influential or affluent backing. It was your close relationship with Master Lee that ensured his placement in the school.

As the man gave you a reassuring nod before guiding your brother into the school, you lingered for a moment, watching them until they disappeared from sight. You couldn't shake off the constant worry for the kid. The fear of him being bullied once his classmates discovered he didn't have a father plagued your thoughts. Yet, deep down, you understood this was necessary for his growth. After all, you faced similar challenges alone during your own schooling years.

You pushed aside those concerns, reminding yourself that Master Lee would be there to look out for him. With a heavy heart, you reluctantly turned away, knowing that as his elder sister, there was only so much you could do. The rest was up to him.

He'll survive; stop worrying.

Walking away from the school, you reminded yourself of your own priorities for now. Your focus needed to be on studying and acing the final examination. With that thought in mind, you set off towards the palace, your mind already forming a mental list of all the books you would need from the royal library.

Each step brought a sense of determination, the weight of responsibility settling firmly on your shoulders. You couldn't afford to let yourself be consumed by worry for Siwoo, not when your own future depended on your success in the upcoming examination.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will deliver the latest batch of minutes and reports to General Park to ensure he is kept informed by today," San stated in his customary professional manner before bowing deeply.

The King nodded, gesturing with his hand to dismiss the secretary. "Very well. Proceed. And do not detain him unnecessarily; I am sure he is eager to spend every moment with his wife," he remarked, chuckling softly into his fists, pleased by the transformation of his once stoic general into a loving and affectionate husband.

"Understood, Your Majesty," the younger man replied, stepping back to excuse himself from the throne room.

As he made his way to his office to retrieve the documents before heading to the general's estate, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. With a furrowed brow, his steps faltered and he scanned the surroundings, searching for the source. Finally, his gaze settled on what appeared to be the fourth prince, observing him intently from a nearby pavilion. Despite the surprise, San maintained a neutral expression, not wanting to appear impolite.

Meeting Prince Yeosang's eyes, he offered a deep bow in greeting. His Highness reciprocated the gesture with a nod but continued to watch as the royal secretary attempted to move away.

Does he... want something from me?

San let out a deep sigh, internally debating whether to approach the prince. He knew Yeosang wasn't particularly sociable and might find it difficult to initiate conversations, despite any desire he had to do so. Finally, he made up his mind and veered towards the pavilion where the fourth prince was seated.

With a respectful bow, the royal secretary pretended not to notice the small breath of relief that escaped Yeosang upon his arrival. "Good day, Your Highness. It's unusual to see you out. How have you been faring?" he asked politely, mindful of the prince's ongoing punishment, which restricted his access to most areas even within the palace.

Yeosang gestured towards the seat across from him. "As well as one can be, considering my limited movements. Please, Secretary Choi, take a seat, and let us have a chat."

Giving in to the prince's invitation, San settled down and accepted the offered cup of tea. "Thank you, Your Highness. What would you like to discuss?" he asked patiently, allowing Yeosang time to collect his thoughts. As the prince struggled to articulate himself, the royal secretary calmly finished his tea, maintaining an expectant gaze upon His Highness.

After what felt like an eternity, Yeosang cleared his throat before speaking, "H-how is she...?" San immediately understood whom he was referring to but chose to feign ignorance. "I don't think it would be right for me to make any assumptions. Whom do you mean by 'she,' my prince?" he inquired.

Flustered, the prince sighed, avoiding San's gaze as he replied, "Lady Park, the general's wife... I noticed General Park hasn't been attending assemblies for a while now, and I was just... you know, wondering if everything is alright with her or... them."

The royal secretary's demeanour softened at Yeosang's inquiry. Offering a warm smile, he reassured, "Your Highness, please do not worry. Things are more than fine over at the general's estate. I didn't think it'd be right for you to hear this from me, but it seems there's no avoiding it, especially given your current restriction from leaving the palace."

Yeosang's curiosity sparked further. "What news do you speak of? Please, tell me."

San hesitated briefly before disclosing the truth. "Lady Park is, um... well, she's expecting, my prince. That's why the general has taken time off from work to care for her."

The prince fell silent for a moment, processing the news, while the royal secretary observed the myriad of emotions crossing His Highness' face. Finally, Yeosang croaked out, "I suppose that means he's treating her well then, yes?"

San nodded reassuringly. "Yes, he is. Perhaps when His Majesty pardons your punishment, you could pay them a visit. I'm sure Lady Park would appreciate seeing you."

The prince nodded slowly. "That's good... and yes, I think I will."

After a brief pause, the secretary spoke again. "Well, if that's all, I should probably return to work, Your Highness."

Yeosang nodded in understanding. "O-oh yes, of course. Don't let me keep you any longer. Thank you, Secretary Choi."

With a polite nod, San took his leave, continuing on his way to his office. His mind couldn't help but wander, pondering whether the prince still held any feelings for the general's wife. Even if he did, the secretary reasoned, at least His Highness was gracious enough to accept and acknowledge that he didn't stand a chance.

As he walked, his steps faltered, and he did a double take when he noticed a figure he had long wanted to meet—the first of your kind. He had heard much about your impressive performance in the preliminary exams. You must be here to prepare for your final examination. Eager to make your acquaintance, he rushed over, only to be met with the last thing he had expected.

"I'm just trying to help, Scholar Moon," the royal secretary insisted, his arms emptying as the stack of books he was previously carrying was abruptly snatched away by the newly acquainted female scholar.

You scoffed in response, "I don't remember asking for your help, sir. I understand it must be quite intriguing to meet a female scholar for the first time. However, there's a reason I'm the first. I'm not your typical damsel in distress. I don't need saving. While you may be used to women swooning at your feet, rest assured, I won't be one of them."

San stood in stunned silence as he watched you storming off in a fit of anger, completely taken aback by your hostile response to his well-intentioned gesture.

He had stumbled upon you as you exited the royal library burdened with a stack of borrowed books, his innate helpfulness and gentlemanly nature immediately prompted him to offer assistance without hesitation. But rather than the customary grateful smile and expression of thanks he anticipated, he couldn't believe he was met with such an unexpected and vehement reaction.

Did I... do something wrong?

A court lady standing nearby widened her eyes in disbelief. "Did you seriously just say that? Do you even know who he is?"

You rolled your eyes dismissively. "Probably just a eunuch, why?" you retorted, waving off her concern. "I doubt any high-ranking officials would pay me any mind."

"Well, you're correct about that. He's not a high-ranking official, but he is someone close to the King. He's the royal secretary," she disclosed, causing your heart to nearly stop as you gaped at her.

He's the what?!

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you blinked rapidly before turning around, only to find him already gone. With a sigh, you faced the court lady again, wearing an expression as if you had done nothing wrong. "Okay, well, as you said, he isn't a high-ranking official. Just a mere secretary. What's he going to do about it? Run to the king like a spoiled little brat? It will be fine," you said, though it sounded more like you were convincing yourself than her.

Suppressing a chuckle behind her hand, she nodded in agreement. "Well, you're not wrong about being fine. Royal Secretary Choi is known to be one of the nicest people. I'm sure he will let it slide," she reassured you with a gentle smile.

Your brows furrowed sceptically. "One of the nicest people, huh? I know men like that; wolves in sheep's clothing. They'll treat you well, make you feel indebted, and then exploit you eventually."

She sighed in resignation, shaking her head in disbelief. "I know nothing I say now will change your mind, but with time, you'll see he isn't anything like that at all."

You replied with a wry smile, "With time? No, I hope I never run into him again. I have no interest in his character. Nevertheless, thank you for the insight. I'll remember to steer clear if I ever see him again. Good day, madam." With a polite bow, you bid her farewell and continued with your day.

As you made your way back to your educational institution to resume your studies, you couldn't help but scoff as you reflected on the encounter with that man and the favourable reputation he tried to cultivate in the palace. Being no stranger to such types, you recognised his type: those who exploited their charm and false kindness to manipulate others. They always seemed to get what they wanted, with people readily bending to their will. It was a trait you detested. This royal secretary appeared to be cut from the same cloth.

But if he thought you would succumb to his charm like the other court ladies and comply with his wishes, he was sorely mistaken. You hoped you wouldn't have to see him again.

Despite feeling a twinge of embarrassment for being less than polite to someone of his stature, you didn't regret your words. They were spoken with genuine conviction.

"Thank you, San. If that's all..." Seonghwa's voice trailed off as he caught sight of the troubled expression on the royal secretary's face. "Oh god, what is it?"

Shaking his head, the younger man replied, "It's nothing serious. I just had a really odd encounter earlier today, and I'm wondering if I did something wrong..."

"Really? You? Doing something wrong? That doesn't sound like Choi San to me. You can do no wrong," the general teased, finally managing to coax a smile out of the royal secretary.

San chuckled. "Well, you know how easily I usually connect with girls and women."

Seonghwa raised an amused brow. "Ah, girl problems? It must be the season of love. Yunho's confiding in my wife about his own love troubles as we speak."

The secretary's eyes widened, and he waved his hands to dismiss the suggestion. "What? L-love? It has nothing to do with that."

"Yeah, that's what they all say..." the general grinned knowingly.

"No, seriously. Have you heard of the famous Scholar Moon?" San asked, to which the older man nodded. "If you're referring to the first female scholar in Joseon, then yes. So, she's the protagonist of your love story, huh?"

Secretary Choi rolled his eyes. "I swear, sometimes I miss when you're all cold and brooding. Anyway, I met her for the first time earlier, just before coming here. I saw her emerging from the royal library, arms filled with books, and out of kindness, I offered to help. But instead of thanking me, she... snatched the books back and launched into a whole monologue about not being a damsel in distress and not needing my help. She seemed... quite angry with me."

The general pondered for a moment, "Hmm, interesting..." San anxiously waited to hear Seonghwa's thoughts on the situation, nervously biting his lip.

Finally, the older man spoke up, "Well, she is the first female scholar after all. Perhaps she's different from most women you know. And besides, if she didn't request your help and you intervened, it might come off as presumptuous. Or maybe she's just having a bad day, and you happened to be there. Or... well, I'm probably the last person you should be consulting on this. You're the expert when it comes to women, so if you can't understand her, how can I...?"

Observing the continued concern on the secretary's face, the general added, "You care too much, San. Remember, no matter how well you think you understand women, not everyone is the same. Don't be surprised if you can't get along with every woman on earth. If, as you said, it's not about love, then let it go. Why should one Scholar Moon upset the great Royal Secretary Choi?"

San took a moment to absorb General Park's words before nodding slowly. "You're right. Maybe I just have to accept it," he conceded. "I guess I'm so affected because this has never happened before."

Pushing himself up from his seat across from Seonghwa, the secretary bowed respectfully. "I've taken more of your time than I planned. I should probably get going." The older man nodded, rising to see his friend off.

As San reached the exit of the general's study, he paused. "Oh, wait, one last thing... I spoke with the fourth prince earlier," he mentioned, sensing a slight shift in Seonghwa's demeanour. "He mentioned not seeing you around the palace and was concerned about Lady Park. I... told him about her pregnancy. I hope you don't mind. He seemed relieved to hear she's doing well."

Seonghwa's expression softened. "Thank you, San. That's good to know. I appreciate it. He's... her friend, I'm sure she'd want His Highness to know." Giving San a pat on the shoulder, he said, "Off you go then. Have a safe trip back. I'll see you next week."

As the secretary made his way back to his family estate, he opted to forgo the carriage ride for the day, choosing instead to take a leisurely walk. He figured it would help clear his mind of the unnecessary thoughts that had been bothering him. Perhaps it was the people pleaser in him, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that the earlier incident had affected him more than he cared to admit. Even though he knew he hadn't done anything wrong, he couldn't help but replay the encounter in his mind, wondering what he could have done differently to elicit a more favourable reaction from you.

However, he reminded himself of General Park's words – not everyone was meant to get along, and that was okay. With that in mind, he tried to focus on the scenery around him, letting the gentle breeze and chirping birds distract him from his thoughts.

Just as he was about to walk past a school, he heard the unmistakable sound of a child crying. Curious, he turned toward the source of the sound and saw a young boy sobbing alone by the entrance of the school.

San looked around to see if anyone was responsible for the boy's distress or if the source of his tears could be identified, but there was no one nearby. Passersby continued on with their day, seemingly oblivious to the child's plight. Unable to ignore the situation, San slowly approached him before kneeling down beside him.

"Hi there, kid. Are you okay? What happened?" he asked gently.

The child sniffled, wiping his tears. "My sister told me not to talk to strangers. If you think I'll follow you, then forget it. I'm not like those other dumb kids," he replied with a pout.

Taken aback by the boy's response, the royal secretary blinked rapidly before reassuring him, "I... no, I'm not a bad person."

The boy snorted sceptically. "Yeah, that's what they all say. If you try anything, I'll scream for my teacher."

Huh, that attitude feels oddly familiar.

Raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, San shook his head. "I promise, I just wanted to check up on you and find out why you're crying. If you don't want me to bother you, I'll leave right now."

Just as he was about to walk away, the boy sighed and tugged on his sleeve. "W-wait... fine, just listen to me then," he relented.

San chuckled softly. "Go on, tell me what or who made you cry. Even if I might not be able to help you, you'll feel better after talking about it."

The child nodded, fiddling with his fingers nervously. "It's my first day of school and... it's stupid. My sister already warned me that it might happen, but still..." Fat tears rolled down his little cheeks as San wiped them away gently. "It's okay, you can tell me," he encouraged.

The boy continued, his voice trembling with emotion. "They bullied me because I don't have a father. He died not long after I was born, so it's just me, my mother, and my sister. But I don't get it! Why should I get bullied for something I can't control?"

Just as San lifted his hand to comfort the child, he was startled by the unexpected appearance of the last person he anticipated seeing so soon. "Hey! Don't you dare lay a hand on him!" you shouted, hurrying over.

Your protective instincts kicked in as you arrived to collect Siwoo from school, only to find him in tears with this unfamiliar man poised to touch him. At the sound of your voice, the royal secretary swiftly turned his head, and your eyes widened in shock at the sight before you. Just when you hoped never to encounter him again, fate had other plans. The world had never been kind to you, so perhaps you shouldn't have been surprised.

Are you freaking kidding me?

"S-scholar Moon! I swear, I was just trying to help..." San's words stumbled out, but you took a deep breath to steady yourself before responding, "It's fine, we're fine. I'm not even going to ask what you're doing here. I just... I apologise for my earlier behaviour in the palace if I offended you in any way. Thank you, Royal Secretary Choi, for your kindness, but we really don't need your help."

Your brother protested, "But, noona—"

You shot him a stern look. "We'll discuss this at home, Moon Siwoo."

As San stood there, his mind racing, the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. Not only were you the first female scholar, to achieve such a feat without the backing of a powerful father, but you also carried the burden of supporting your family on your shoulders. Could it be that your disdain for help stemmed from a distaste for pity? He couldn't fathom how difficult things must have been for a young lady like yourself.

It occurred to him that your independence might have forged a toughness within you, causing you to recoil at the mere thought of accepting assistance. But these were mere speculations. He knew his mind would not find peace until he uncovered the truth.

As you turned to leave with your brother, the royal secretary's voice halted your steps. "Wait, Scholar Moon! I swear, I came across your brother by chance; I didn't realise he was related to you. And I... I, too, apologise if I've offended you in any way. There must be a reason for your reaction, and if there's anything I could have handled better, please let me know. I understand that being a female scholar must not be easy."

You briefly closed your eyes, acknowledging his smooth words. Had it been someone else, they might have melted. But maintaining your resolve, you turned back to face him. "I appreciate the apology, Royal Secretary Choi. But please, don't overthink it. My reaction wasn't aimed solely at you; it would have been the same with any man. Now, if you'll excuse us, we must be on our way."

Wait, what does that mean?

« Preview of Part 2 »

"Sometimes I wonder what His Majesty sees in you. You can be so dense, it's astonishing," Haneul remarked, shaking her head in playful disbelief as she nudged San's head.

He whined, swatting her hand away. "What are you even doing here, noona? Is your husband okay with you always running away from home like this, huh?"

She smacked him lightly. "Is that any way to talk to your older sister? Besides, this is my home too. What's wrong with visiting once in a while? And let's not change the subject! She's already dealing with a tough life, and now she has to contend with self-absorbed men like you. It's clear she doesn't trust men. She grew up without a father, and even when he was around, who knows what he was like? And being a female scholar, imagine the prejudice she faces. Do you honestly think she's had positive experiences with men?"

"What? I'm not self-absorbed!" he protested, shooting her a glare.

Haneul nodded sarcastically. "Oh yeah, not at all. All you've been busy thinking about is what you did, what you could have done because everything revolves around you and your magical ability to charm all the women on this land. Finally, you meet someone immune to it, and of course, it couldn't possibly be because you're just a man, but rather, it has to be about you."

"W-well, if you put it that way..."

She rolled her eyes. "Just admit that I'm right and move on, you fool. Now that you know it's not about your actions; it's just her general distrust in men, you can sleep in peace tonight knowing you did nothing wrong. It's not you, it's her."

But the royal secretary found himself unable to sleep well that night. Understanding that it was men you hated only ignited a newfound determination in him.

I'll show her that not all men are the same.

Y'all, I'm sorry this took so long! I'm afraid updates will be slow after this because guess who is starting her full-time job tomorrow :) back to that Mon-Fri 8-5 corporate life, so I won't be able to write as frequently anymore💔 but I'll do my best to write whenever I can!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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#edenesth #the way to this heart #love to hate you #twthh spinoff #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez san #historical au #joseon era #choi san x reader #choi san x you #ateez fic

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bvidzsoo · 2 months

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Masterlist

↳ MS stands for Mini-series; S for Series; 18+ for anything that contains mature themes; F for Fluff; A for Angst; you’ll find warnings at the start of each one-shot

☆ Drive to survive ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; Formula One Racer AU; Red Bull driver AU ☆ You belong to me ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; mobster AU; Joker/Harley vibes

☆ Lust we both share ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; vampire AU; enemies to lovers AU ☆ Your desire ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; sugar daddy AU; university AU

☆ Who am I? ↭ Part 2 ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; university AU; bad boy AU; gang AU

↳ Coming Soon

☆ Grease and Oil ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; car mechanic AU; mutual pining AU ☆ Love Me Like A Rockstar ↳ [S;A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; enemies to lovers AU; university AU; rockstar AU; he fell first, but she fell harder AU ☆ Forget-me-not ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; illegal racing AU; enemies to lovers AU ☆ Love you, forever ↳ [A;F]; non-idol AU; boyfriend AU; university AU ☆ Preying on you tonight ↳ [A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; Academy AU; werewolf AU; vampire AU; enemies to lovers AU

↳ Coming Soon

☆ Black Ocean ↳ [S; A; F; 18+]; non-idol AU; pirate AU; siren AU ☆ bf!ateez drunk texting you while they're out with the boys ↳ [F, suggestive]; non-idol AU; smau; boyfriend AU ☆ best friend!ateez texting you about tomorrow's exam they have forgotten about ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; smau; best friend AU ☆ drunk texting bff!Ateez and accidentally confessing you're into them ↳ [nsfw]; non-idol AU, smau, best friends to lovers AU ☆ accidentally texting fwb!ateez about the hook-up ↳ [nsfw]; non-idol AU, smau, friends with benefits AU ☆ texting fiancé!ateez about their Coachella performance as you weren't able to attend it ↳ [F]; idol AU, smau, fiancé AU, Coachella AU lol ☆ Beyond the Obscure ↳ [S;A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; royal AU; assassin AU; fae AU; fantasy AU

☆ Devil!Hongjoong ☆ Vampire!Seonghwa ► Slow it down → Park Seonghwa ► Summer Lovin' → Jung Wooyoung ► Does he know? → Choi San ► Love made me crazy → Choi Jongho ► Sweeter than honey → Jeong Yunho ► Stern, but sweet → Choi San ► Cherry Blossoms → Song Mingi ☆ Boyfriend!Wooyoung → Jung Wooyoung

❀ join my permanent taglist here

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otherswap · 10 months

Text

otherswap.neocities.org

An alternate take on the Underswap AU premise featuring different character pairings & the Holidays from DELTARUNE.

AU details below:

Characters shown here: Asgore Dreemurr → Rudolph Holiday Toriel → Dess Asriel → Noelle Flowey (Asriel) → Flowey (Chara) *NOTE: Chara is still the first human to fall down. They switch story roles with Noelle. Papyrus ↔ Undyne Sans ↔ Alphys Mettaton ↔ Mad Mew Mew Napstablook ↔ Ruins Dummy Annoying Dog ↔ Temmie

Characters not shown here: Monster Kid ↔ Snowdrake Muffet ↔ Burgerpants Grillby ↔ Nice Cream Guy Gerson Boom ↔ Snowdin Inn Keeper (QC) Bratty & Catty ↔ Royal Guard 01 & 02 *NOTE: Any character not mentioned thus far is either unchanged or has not been thought about yet.

---

The Underground: The Ruins → The Depths

The deepest part of the Underground. The Depths are composed of dark, volcanic caverns and serve as the entrance to the rest of the Underground.

Snowdin → Clearwater

A tropical paradise with a resort at its heart, run by Gerson Boom. It's considered the nicest part of the Underground and many monsters wish to live here.

Waterfall → Forestgrove

Forestgrove has a temperate climate, lush vegetation, and fields of Golden Flowers. The vast tangle of forest makes it easy to get lost in, unless you know your way around.

Hotland → Highpeaks

A vast and densely populated city built into craggy cliffsides of the Underground. The city features many apartments, restaurants, shady back alleys, and the Royal Science center.

THE CORE

Located within Highpeaks is the large cold-fusion reactor facility that supplies the Underground with electricity. It was created by the former Royal Scientist.

New Home/The Capital

The highest point of the Underground. Just beyond it is the Barrier, but seldom few live here anyways. The frosted-over castle is always decorated like it's Christmas Eve.

---

Important info: OTHERSWAP is not being developed as a fangame, mod, comic, or anything of that nature. This is just an AU setting created for funsies. It is not trying to replace or "improve" the original Underswap AU.

This AU was first conceptualized shortly after the release of DELTARUNE Chapter 2. At the time of posting, there is no official design for Dess or Mayor Holiday. Dess' design may be changed in the future if she ever appears in official UTDR content and Mayor Holiday has not been included in OTHERSWAP at all. Although she takes the role of Toriel in this AU, Dess is still the eldest daughter of Rudolph Holiday and is treated accordingly. This AU has decided to replace the Dreemurrs with the Holidays as they also exist within UNDERTALE canon (UNDERTALE 5th Anniversary Alarm Clock Winter Dialogue - Asgore, UNDERTALE Xbox port exclusive dialogue).

Artwork posted by this account (@otherswap) is created by @dvdexe. A full list of credits can be found here.

#otherswap #undertale #utdr #undertale au

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dalivanmagritte · 9 months

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FIC REC : CHOI SAN (SAN)

in the quiet places (fav, FLUFFY FLUFF, smut)

kill them with kindness (angstish, fluff, TENSIONS)

it's sweatpants season! oh my! (smut)

sweet farmer (smut)

knots (smut, masseur!au)

limitless (smut, fluff, angst, knight!au, royal!au)

heists and celebration x wooyoung (smut, thiefs!au)

chicken noodle soup (fluff)

a lesser man (smut, fighter!au, boxer!au)

kalla (smut, BDSM)

i see red (smut)

warrior (smut, historical!au, shifter!au, werewolf!au, royal!au)

his princess (smut, badboy!au)

howling to your moon (smut)

let me protect you (smut, angst, victorian era!au)

better late than never (smut, husband!au)

give a little pow pow on the baby maker (smut)

slow it down x wooyoung (smut, mafia!au, boxer!au)

crazy form x wooyoung (smut)

demon cat boy (smut, catboy!au)

shut up and drive (smut, mafia!au)

imp!san (smut, imp!au)

hollow's eve (smut, demon!au)

vaya con dios (smut, religious!au, photographer!au)

*739 (smut, sex worker!au)

inexperienced (smut)

kinkuary day 1 (smut, royal!au)

pussy slapping (smut)

the big bad wolf (smut, fluff, angstish, hybrid!au)

catch me if you can (fluff, hogwarts!au)

the champion (fluff, angstish, hogwarts!au)

from the shadows (fluff, hogwarts!au)

darling, his darling (smut, angstish, royal!au)

at your mercy (smut)

descend to depravity x seonghwa (smut, demon!au)

twisted (smut, stalker!au)

after all, you're my wife (smut, mafia!au)

stay focused (smut, office!au, university!au)

an imprisoned nighttale (pirate ateez, kidnapping!au, angst)

i hate how bad i want you part.2 (smut, CEO!au)

be my americano (smut)

workout (smut)

san as your boyfriend (fluff, smut)

incubus: coming of age (incubus!san, smut)

#ateez #san #choi san #san smut #san fluff #san angst #san fic rec #san fanfic #san x reader #san x oc #san imagines #san oneshot #san scenarios #ateez san

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sorryimananti-romantic · 11 months

Text

Horizon

faerieprince!san x oc

royal/fantasy au, soulmate au

Take Me Home spinoff (can be read as a standalone)

series lore

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, mild smut/suggestive, time travel/time loop, tragedy, violence warnings, mention of death/su!cide, past traumas, idk if i missed sth

synopsis: the eight faerie princes and the princess who rule the planet mirinae sense something that doesn't belong to their world- something that screams unnatural and dangerous. however, san is able to feel the presence of a faerie instead and it leads him to gaeul, who came back to life as a part of a darkling's evil scheme. san soon realises that he might be connected to gaeul in unimaginable ways, and the bond that they share might not be good.

-> part 1

-> part 2

-> part 3

-> part 4

-> part 5

Planet Mirinae Map:

[Kingdoms --> star-signs, Seas--> birthstones

(Seonghwa and Yunho share the Kingdom of Aries;

Kingdom of Gemini is split into two states bc duh;

Fomalhaut--> free land without a monarchy)]

disclaimer: the series can be read as a standalone since i do enough of explaining the whole universe at a tolerable pace (i hope), but in case you decide to read take me home (seonghwa series) which is a crucial part in the worldbuilding of this universe, i assure you not much will be spoiled and take me home will still be confusing asf (i really hope so LOL) anyways enjoy or whatever.

status: complete

taglist: closed

#choi san x reader #choi san fluff #choi san angst #choi san smut #san x reader #san fluff #san angst #san smut #choi san imagines #choi san scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez series #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #lore: an empire of dreams and illusions

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danihow · 7 months

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♡ Dani's recommendations

♥ means fluff

★ means suggestive

☽ means angst

✦ means smut

♥★☽✦

(I'll be updating it as it goes bc i'm still seraching the really old ones i loved)

Marvel

TBA

Stray Kids

Series:

Shattered puzzles by @hyunnows (hyunjin x fem!reader, non!idol AU, amnesia AU?) | ♥★☽ | Ongoing

Drabbles:

6:36 by @forlix (bang chan x gn!reader, established relationship, domestic) | ♥ | 1.2k

ATEEZ

Series:

TBA

Long fics: (not necessarily multichaptered)

Crescent by @sorryimananti-romantic (prince!san x assassin!bodyguard!femreader, royal AU) | ♥★☽ | 17k words

Win by @sorryimananti-romantic (wooyoung x princess!assassin!reader, royal AU) | ♥★☽ | 42k words in two parts

Like a dream by @i-luvsang (fae!yeosang x reader, fantasy AU) | ♥☽ | 13.3k words

One-shots:

Daisy by @moanz111 (poet!yeosang x florist!reader, non idol AU) | ♥ | 4.3k words

Forget-me-not by @seonghwaddict (hongjoong x reader, neighbors to ?) | ♥ | 1k words

In each other's arms by @kimsohn (mingi x fem!reader, bestfriends to lovers) | ♥ | 3k+ words

The worthy type by @mazeinthemiroh (idol!yunho x reader, best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort) | ♥ | 1.7k words

Dandelions by @hwanchaesong (yunho x reader, friends to lovers) | ♥ | 1.7 k words

Kiss it better by @imagine-a-life-like-this (wooyoung x fem!reader, best friend to lovers) | ♥ | 1.9k words

Our little star by @littleocean-rose (san x fem!reader, soulmate AU) | ♥ | 2.1k words

Am I your favorite? (1) (2) by @deja-yu (san x fem!reader, friends to lovers) | ♥☽ | ? words

Do not disturb by @hwasdvlly (idol!seonghwa x fem!reader, established relationship) | ♥ | 0.5k words

Headcannons:

ATEEZ as middle school teachers by @thelargefrye | OT8

Enhypen

Series:

HYPE BOY by @onlyjaeyun (jake x fem!reader, kinda single parent au, SMAU and written) | ♥★☽✦ | Fifty chapters, complete

Long fics: (not necessarily multichaptered)

One-shots:

Seventeen

BIRTHDAY BOY by @odxrilove (mingyu x fem!reader, uni au, friends to lovers) | ♥☽ | 8.1k words

TXT

Rebound and restoration by @blackhairedjjun (yeonjun x fem!reader, best friends lovers, break up) | ♥☽ | 5.4k

&TEAM

So this is how it feels by @kimakento (Nicholas x fem!reader, hananaki disease, unrequited love) | ☽ | 2.6k

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absurdumsid · 2 months

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Sid's AUs/OCs/Series Masterlist !!

intro post was starting to look long (<- guy who noticed too late) so i decided to make this !

ill be updating this every now and then because i um i love lists teehee

Bar Sanses/BS AU - It's based off of an ancient fanfic I wrote where a deserted Dusttale Grillby's becomes Nightmare's hideout. Dust is the bartender, Horror got kidnapped, Saejun is an accomplice, and the only really "bad" sanses are Nightmare and Killer lmao

@dustbar is the askblog for this !! unfortunately it's a bit inactive right now because i'm.... playing minecraft...

lore: main "lore" post second lore-ish post old outfits lore-ish posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 vaguely bs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 fic snippets: 1 2 3

Jacketswap Saga - My most favourite thing ever, I switch my ships' jackets, that's it. You can interpret this as part of BS AU if you'd like ! (So far I've done MTTPoly, HorrorDust, and ColourKiller !)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

III Classic - Fell finds out he has three boyfriends (idk where I was going with this one ngl) never mind fell gets ALL the boyfriends (not updatin the name though because um. im lazy ?)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Sanses Stage AU/ALNST AU - basically alien stage but i force sanses into it <3

1 2 3 4

KeeperTale - An AU where the Justice and Perseverance humans were childhood friends with the First Human. Upon learning about their death, the two set out on an adventure to Mt. Ebott. Unfortunately, while one of them sought reason, the other wanted vengeance... and thus the monsters are forced into another war.

main lore post 1 2 3

UnderPills - An AU where after Asriel and Chara's deaths, the Underground grieved and monsters started turning into dust unprovoked. The Royal Scientist created a CURE that would preserve monsters' life, but… they grew too dependent on the drug.

lore: part 1 doodles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 text: 1 2 3

UnderAngel - An AU where Asgore and the monsters did not fight the humans and surrendered themselves to be sealed in Mt. Ebott. Patiently waiting for the angel from the prophecy, they live peacefully underground. (There isn't exactly a full lore post, as this is my biggest work in progress, so feel free to speculate about it !)

main "lore" post 1 2

Copyverse - A story that happens in-between and after the events of KeeperTale, UnderPills, and UnderAngel ! I'd like to make a comic for it after I properly write the lore and canon events for the AUs involved in it. (So far, KeeperTale has been finished !)

characters: sanses skeleton families lore-ish: 1 2 3 4 5 6 in universe-ish: 1 2 3

Outcode Counselling - Basically a tiny corner of the void that belongs to Angel! Gaster, where he counsels Outcodes. Currently, his patients are Pills! Gaster, HorrorPills! Sans, Keeper! Grillby, and Recover! Sans (@grinn1ng-ma5k's sans)

1 2 3 4 5

Steamverse [Express] - a train that runs through the entire multiverse, the conductors are Grillby and Gaster ! They are friends with Replica, an Outcode !

1 2

last update: 4/20/2024

#sid rambles #masterlist #<- or is it #masterpost #i im not sure #idk anyway this exists now yay #updated it !!#funny number lmao

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karmaspidr · 3 months

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Desert Sanctuary AU pt.2

Due to how many people liked this idea, I decided to develop it further. Here are the roles for the rest of Yellow's main cast as well as the cast of the original game.

UTY:

Feisty Four: Special Forces.

After the Sanctuary was established, Starlo told his friends that they would no longer be 'playing around' and that things were about to get very dangerous. He told them they were allowed to back out at any time they wished. They refused.

They are now essentially Starlo's five-star generals, in charge of training and leading new recruits. They each also have unique roles, important to the security of the Sanctuary.

Ed - He's Clover's primary bodyguard. Whenever the only human in the Underground is out in the open, Ed is almost always the one to accompany him.

Moray - They oversee the prisoners. Prisoners may include mercenaries sent to assassinate Clover, extremists, general law breakers etc. They are basically the warden and treat their prisoners fairly. However, it's been noted that those who attempted to kill Clover received slightly less food.

Ace - Head of investigations. He's the one who finds patterns in places patterns shouldn't exist. Uses his playing cards in his conspiracy boards because Clover told him about a character in a TV Show who did that and he liked the idea.

Mooch - Reconasince and Scavenging. The Dunes aren't all that plentiful in terms of natural resources. That is where Mooch's kleptomania comes in handy. She leads teams into the Greater Underground to gather materials they can't trade for and generally nobody would miss. She also steals information, using her innocent appearance and small size to get people to tell her things or find her way into their darkest closets. She sees the Lab as her greatest challenge.

Dalv: Scholar

He still lives in Snowdin and tries to avoid the conflict. This doesn't mean he's not doing his part. He, like many people on both sides, doesn't want these tensions to spiral into something everyone would regret. So he spends his time shifting through history books, diaries, personal recounts and human myths and legends to figure out exactly what happened during the Human-Monster War.

Original Game

Toriel: Caretaker of the Ruins

Her role hasn't changed from the original game. She heard about the movement and has made contact with them. However, she remains in the Ruins take act as the the first line of protection for any human that falls. After all, the Sanctuary is far from the main path.

Flowey: Observer.

When he realised that Clover wouldn't be going to the castle, he was furious. He believed that this timeline was another dud. However, he had the patience to wait, perhaps because of something Clover said under that Cherry Blossom tree. He realised that this 'Cold Civil War' was the most interesting thing to ever happen in the Underground, and has only ever Reset to save Clover from an assassin. He also believes this conflict to be the key to him getting the souls.

Sans: Royal Judge

Sans doesn't change much from the original game either. He doesn't really care about the conflict. Although, due to his promise to Toriel, he would point any human that leaves the Ruins in the direction of either Martlet or the Dunes.

Asgore had sent him to the Dunes a handful of times to 'judge' the residents. He always comes back with good things to say. He never mentioned the anger buried deep inside Clover's soul.

Papyrus: Member of the Royal Guard.

Due to rising tensions between the two sides, Undyne decided to recruit Papyrus into the Guard because of the increased need for soldiers. He's still a loveable goofball but now takes his role much more seriously. Has a close friendship with Martlet. Capable of killing Frisk depending on the route.

Undyne: Captain of the Royal Guard.

She is much more aggressive than in the original game and is the primary reason the two sides haven't made peace yet. Her anti-human views are stronger than ever she sees the Monsters in the Sanctuary as traitors and has compared them to a cult. Wants nothing more than to skewer Clover. The only thing holding her back is her dwindling respect for Asgore and Gerson's warning.

"Men like Clover can be an ally just as easily as an enemy. The key is not giving them a reason to see you as an enemy. You do NOT want to be their enemy."

Alphys: Royal Scientist.

She is not having a good time. She's under more pressure than ever, is watching Undyne slowly destroy herself and has blackmail hanging over her head. Martlet doesn't know everything in the True Lab but she has seen enough to make people ask questions. Ceroba used this knowledge to get Alphys to provide the Sanctuary with the minimal resources to sustain itself.

Mettaton: Entertainment Robot and Wild Card.

Mettaton isn't aligned with either side and is surprisingly neutral when reporting the conflict. He doesn't want humanity to be destroyed but also sees Clover and his allies as a threat to his own agendas. Has sent multiple mercenaries to collect Clover's Soul.

Muffet: Head of the Spider Colony.

Let's be clear. No one likes her, at least as an ally. Everyone knows that the moment you trust her with something she'll sell it to the enemy.

Asgore: Tired King.

Asgore is probably the only one having a worse time than Alphys. He wants this conflict to end. He doesn't want to watch his people tear each other apart. He truly believes that the Sanctuary is in the right. But he can't bring himself to surrender. There are still so many Monsters who genuinely believe in what he is doing and believe that giving in to the Sanctuary's demands would escalate the conflict further. He is too tired to give any grand speeches or to confront his mistakes properly.

After the first diplomatic meeting, he told Clover, "I should have taken back what I said that night immediately, no matter how many people cheered."

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clevercatchphrase · 7 months

Note

To answer your reply That's fine can't wait to see the final product when it's done

I thought you represented Asriel very well but how did you exactly get an exact picture on what personality type to give Asriel? because the game doesn't really feature him as much as other Undertale characters

I was going to work with someone on an AU comic for Undertale's 10th anniversary and I was hoping to have every charceter as accurate or canon as possible. What would be the best approach ?

I'm gonna answer this ask in reverse, starting with "how to keep the characters In Character", then how/why I decided on Asriel's personality. This is quite a long answer, so I'll put it under a Read More as not to stretch out your dash~

So you say you want the characters to be as canon as possible, and wonder what would be the best approach. Well... the only advice I can give is to replay the game and explore as much as the dialogue as you can. Click on everything. Inspect everything at least 2 times. Make a phone call to Papyrus in every room, then go back and do it again after you befriended Undyne. Keep in mind the relationships the characters have with each other and how they're all connected. Undyne has ties to both Gerson and Asgore, who in turn also have a connection as Gerson was once the War Hammer of Justice, and could resonably served in the royal guard as well with Asgore as his boss. Alphys is connected to Bratty and Catty (childhood friends), Bratty and Catty are connected to Burgerpants (the glamburger fiasco), Burgerpants is connected to Mettaton (boss and employee), and Mettaton is connected to Alphys (both have a mutual interest in humans). Everybody has ties to everyone else. How could those ties effect their interactions? What does the character's home/room/job say about them? Take in the environmental clues and extrapolate on them. You can learn so much about the undertale cast from indirect details. And it's okay to dip your toes into common tropes or stereotypes to flesh them out. Just be wary about making those tropes/stereotypes their ENTIRE personality, or else the characters will end up being flanderized. Never forget Papyrus is more than a skeleton who makes spaghetti, Toriel is more than an anxious mother who makes butterscotch pie, Undyne is more than a guard who suplexes boulders just because she can, so on and so forth. Ask yourself, "What are these character's values and beliefs", then using that framework try to imagine they would respond to the situations you have planned for this comic of yours. While some reactions may be similar, all should be unique. We all know Papyrus's reaction to a bad pun will be different to Sans's, but Sans and Toriel may have a similar reaction, etc, etc. There will be wiggle room. You may have to fill in parts that don't have clear cut answers, but ultimately, so long as you stay consistent with the characterizations you decide, readers will be willing to suspend their disbelief even if their interpretations are not 1 to 1 with yours. That's what makes fan fiction and theories so much fun~

Now for the second part. To copy/paste what you asked;

"how did you exactly get an exact picture on what personality type to give Asriel? because the game doesn't really feature him as much as other Undertale characters"

This is just amusing to me because saying the game doesn't really feature him is just factually incorrect. Asriel is in the game A LOT. More than some of the minor characters like Napstablook and Monster Kid, at least. But what do I mean by this? Well, aside from the protagonist you control, Asriel is the very first character you meet in Undertale, even if you don't realize it, and that's because...

Asriel IS Flowey. This is an irrefutable fact about Undertale's lore. Even if he doesn't look like a sweet goat child, even if he doesn't act like an innocent baby boy, we must accept that this cruel, heartless, emotionless flower is Asriel at his absolute worst.

Asriel himself doesn't even deny it. He doesn't say that the things he did as Flowey were the actions of a seperate entity. He fully owns up to it. To directly quote his dialogue from before and after his God of Hyperdeath fight, "I was so tired of being a flower", "As a flower, I was soulless," "I acted so strange and horrible," "I hurt so many people," "There's no excuse for what I've done." And even as Flowey, he does not see Asriel as someone separate from himself when he talks to you in New Home in the No Mercy route, recalling the memories he has before falling down as is own (example, he says "remember when WE played here", as opposed to "Remember when you and Asriel played here".)

(Now, granted, I think the concept of Flowey debating if he still "counts" as Asriel is a facinating philosophical quandary for him to explore, so much so that it became a minor story thread in a 200k word fan fic I wrote 4 years ago, but that story thread is not relevant to my current fan comic nor the game itself because, once again, Asriel DOES see himself as the same entity that is Flowey and vice versa)

Alright, enough sidetracking, back to my main point. Flowey IS Asriel at his absolute worst. Flowey is what Asriel always had the potential to become if none of his actions had consequences, if his choices had no repercussions. With out a prong collar of past regrets to keep him in check, his worst traits can run rampant. And knowing this, I reverse engineered a personality for him by defining who Flowey is then watering these traits down to something that would fit a 10 year old.

So what do we know about Flowey? We know he's deceptive (Lying to you in your first encounter in an effort to steal your soul), He's controlling (Save Scumming in every neutral ending to keep the upper hand), he's sassy (mocking you after the toriel fight no mater if you spare or kill her) and he's obsessed with Chara (declaring life isn't worth living without them, claiming "chara" is the only one who is fun to play with anymore.) (You can also make the argument that Flowey is incredibly lonely and bored, but I personally think that is a result of reliving so many timelines over and over and not something intrinsic to Asriel) using these descriptors I dialed it back in order to fit an average "child" character. My Asriel became someone who is snarky, stubborn, and cares deeply about those he loves to the point of detriment because he justifies it all as "I'm doing this for your own good/I know what's best for you", which in turn becomes his own hamartia. Asriel is also an honorary brat because he is a child and all children are brats and I don't mean that in a negative sense. I was a child once, so I was a brat once. We were all brats once in our lives. It's part of the process of growing up as an emotionally complex creature, and no one is born with perfect emotional intelligence for others. Chara and Frisk are brats too in this comic, but to varying degrees because of their own life circumstances, but that's an essay for another time.

Anyway, I hope this long-ass post helped you if just a little bit, or at least made you think. Good luck on your AU~! (god, I can't believe Undertale will be a decade old in 2 short years.)

#ghost switch #long post #I guess I could also mention I decide character personalities by processes of elimination #as in I identify what I DO NOT want them to be and work around it #I really dislike the most common fanon personalities Asriel Chara and Frisk are given and try my best to do something different

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xlxvesxckx · 1 year

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February Filth Fest Day 2

Member: Choi San

Au: Royal Au.

Warnings: Dom!San, Sub!Reader, Shibari, teasing, sensory depreivation, unprotected sex, let me know what i missed.

When the prince wants something, he gets it.

And this time, he wants you.

You whimpered as the prince finally finished the last rope, tugging it to see how stable it was. You were delicately tied up, suspended slightly above the prince's bed. The ropes deliciously rubbed against your skin as the cold air of the room hit your warm skin.

“You look so good…I wish you could see yourself…”

You whimpered as you felt the Prince run his hands along your body. The prince blindfolded you, not allowing you to see him, or see what he was about to do to you. You jolt as you felt his hand came close to your cunt you were embarrassed from how wet you were already and he had barely even touched you.

“My little treasure…”

He muttered, he then teasingly entered two fingers into your cunt, hearing your choked gasp as he held you in place. He prevented you from swinging, his hands leaving no part of your body untouched.

With the blindfold it felt like your senses were heightened, any slight movement had you wanting to cry out.

So when you felt the prince press his tip against your cunt.

“Brace yourself for me princess..”

You nodded slowly as you felt San slowly pushing himself into you, you were already a whimperign mess as you took him all the way to the hilt. You heard the prince let out a deep animalistic type groan. The prince held you close for a second, muttering something to himself.

“Y-your highness-”

“I don’t think I can be gentle…” He started, you were confused until you felt his hand come up to undo the blindfold. When it dropped from your eyes you took in the image of the male. The prince had a fucked out expression already, his body was illuminated by the candle light, casting a pretty red glow.

You were about to talk when the prince started to move, cutting off your word with a pitiful moan. “..you feel so good princess…your pussy was made just for me…for your prince..” He muttered as he focused on his thrusts.

Prince San used the ropes on your body to pull your body back onto his cock with ease. He took the time to run his hands along your body, feeling the heat from your body.

“You’re my slutty princess…everyone else gets to see how pretty your are and how you rule the kingdom…” San smirks as he watches your face contort with pleasure, “But behind closed doors, your a slut that loves to be fucked by her prince..” You cried out as his pace sped up and there was nothing you could do but just take what he was giving you.

You felt embarrassed from the noises leaving your cunt, you could hear the sounds from San fucking you, each thrust making a powerful noise in the quiet room.

San’s deep groans paired with him fucking you like you were about to disappear were enough to send your over the edge. The overstimulation from you previously being blindfolded made your body hypersensitive. You cried out, tossing your head back as San continued his assault on your pussy.

He chuckles at your pathetic whines for him to slow down but he shook his head.

“Oh no no…baby.. I’m not down with you~”

You nearly screamed out as his thrusts seemingly got harder as he moved his hands to grab your waist.

“I’m going to stuff you so full of my cum that you’ll still feel it days later~”

#ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez x reader smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #san x reader #san smut #san x reader smut

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gavroche-le-moineau · 2 months

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L’air de la misère / The air of misery

We're at this part in Les Mis Letters so here is my translation and annotations of one of Fantine's songs on the Original Concept Album, "L'air de la misère." The tune of this song would get used in the final musical as Éponine's "On My Own."

You can find a PDF of the translation here: L'air de la misère

youtube

[Fantine] J’avais des si jolis défauts j’étais rêveuse, j’étais coquette un peu naïve, mais pas trop pour ne jamais perdre la tête et je me faisais fête¹ d’un chant d’oiseau, d’un jour nouveau Je n’ai plus qu’une robe grise qui sert aussi de couverture quand le vent glacé de l’hiver tourne la nuit dans ma masure et plus beaucoup d’honneur de dignité au fond du cœur

[Fantine] I had such pretty flaws I was a dreamer, I was a coquette A little naive, but not too much So as to never lose my head And I used to look forward¹ to a bird’s song, to a new day I have no more than one grey dress That also serves as a blanket When the icy winter wind Swirls around my hovel at night And not much honor left Or dignity at the bottom of my heart

NOTE 1. “je me faisais fête” – While “se faire une fête de” means “to look forward to,” I think it’s important to point out that within this phrase is “faire fête,” meaning to celebrate, literally to have a party.

La misère n’est mère de personne² la misère est pourtant sœur des hommes mais personne sur terre n’en veut pour fille comme bâtarde née dans un cachot de la Bastille La misère enfante la détresse bien des vices et toutes les faiblesses³ la misère lâche la bête en l’homme et la mésange alors en chienne errante se transforme⁴

Misery is the mother of no one² Misery is nevertheless a sister of men But no one on this earth wants her for a daughter Like a bastard born in a dungeon of the Bastille Misery gives birth to distress Plenty of weaknesses and all frailties³ Misery lets loose the beast in man And the chickadee transforms into a stray dog⁴

NOTES 2. “La misère n’est mère de personne” – It is important to keep in mind throughout this song that “misery” in French is feminine, so it is referred to as a mother, sister, daughter, etc.

3. “des vices… des faiblesses” – “Vices” could just as well be translated as “vices” and “faiblesses” as “weaknesses / feebleness.” I simply chose the two English words that I thought sounded best.

4. “la mésange alors en chienne errante se transforme” – Remember again that misery is feminine, so in this phrase we have “la mésange,” which is a small cute bird (family Paridae which includes tits, titmice, and chickadees) with a feminine noun, and the noun for dog here is also feminine. In English the word for a female dog, a bitch, has strong negative connotations whereas the word used here, “chienne” can simply mean a female dog, so I chose to translate it as “dog.”

Il faut qu’on se sente survivre dans un enfant qu’on a fait vivre⁵ et qu’en sa source d’innocence on noie notre désespérance⁶ pour ne pas mettre fin à cette vie sans lendemain [Refrain]

You need to feel you are surviving In a child you brought to life⁵ And in whose source of innocence We drown our hopelessness⁶ So as not to put an end To this life with no tomorrow [Chorus]

NOTES 5. “survivre ... vivre” – I want to highlight the chosen words here. “Vivre” means “to live” so it’s easy to recognize it in the word “survivre” (to survive) and the phrase “faire vivre” (to bring to life / to give birth to). In addition, while I translated these lines using the pronoun “you,” in French the pronoun is “one.”

6. “source d’innocence … on noie” – Here, the word “source” is exactly equivalent to the English, but should evoke the meaning “the source of river / spring / of water” due to the next line which refers to drowning in this source. In this sentence, the literal French is again “one drowns” (which can also be translated as “you” or the royal “we”), however “notre désespérance” explicitly uses the word “our” for “our hopelessness.”

I've always thought it was interesting that Fantine got two songs in the Original Concept Album- this one, in addition to "J'avais rêvé d'une autre vie" which is the direct equivalent to "I Dreamed a Dream." In order, L'air de la misère comes before she sells her hair, while I Dreamed a Dream comes after and ends with reference to her sex work, and what would become the song "Lovely Ladies."

#les mis original french concept album #mytranslations #concept album translations #l'air de la misère #fantine #les mis musical #les mis lyrics #Youtube

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gettiregretti · 1 year

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Kalluzeb AU Masterpost Kalluzeb Kofi: Shop and Monthly Club Here

Find all story ideas in one spot here. If you are inspired by anything or want to use any idea/design here, no problem! You don’t need to ask permission. I would appreciate a shoutout for it if possible, and I would LOVE a link to what you make!

My Love, My Enemy - Ezra discovers a romance holonovella written about a Lasat and an ISB agent stranded on a forgotten moon. Zeb becomes a sex symbol of the Rebellion overnight, but the book isn’t all that it seems…

Holonovel Cover and Mini Fic. Mini Fic complete on AO3

Two Steps Back - Kallus is faced once again with Oltok; the merc who brutally murdered his men. His psyche breaks and he loses all the progress he’s managed to make with Zeb, the Spectres, and the Rebellion. It takes being captured by the Partisans to make him realise he can’t let his own fear make him cruel like them. (The art in this one is old so apologies in advance)

Reunited Illustration Hold Onto Me Illustration Kallus is Angry that Zeb is Injured Comic 1 Comic 2 Don’t Say Goodbye Kallus and Oltok

The Hunt - Zeb and Kallus are bounty hunters who have become rivals. They compete to get the juiciest bounties first. They leave calling cards and taunts scrawled on walls. Eventually ‘all’s fair in love and war’ kicks in, and it becomes totally acceptable to seduce each other to score a mark first. Eventually they both take in a mark they shouldn’t, and make enemies of the Hutt. It’s only when the game is over that they realise the depth of what they feel for one another.

Kallus Captures Zeb Zeb Captures Kallus

Imperial Zeb AU - Lasan was never destroyed, just assimilated. The Honour Guard are taken in as elite fighters on behalf of the Emperor and at the behest of their own Empress. They don’t know that the royal family have already been killed, and that the Lasat are being used to Palpatine’s own ends. It’s as part of the Empire that Zeb and Kallus meet. It isn’t in Zeb’s nature to be cruel and back oppression, however, so he starts asking questions…and he takes the stick-in-the-mud ISB agent always partnered with him along for a ride to see the rebels.

Imperial Zeb Design

By Your Hand - Zeb and Kallus meet more than once after Bahryn. They keep meeting, in fact, like fate wills it so. Kallus can’t help the way he responds to Zeb; his thoughts and also his body betraying the Empire he has fought so hard to protect. His mind is opened by Zeb, and his life changed. But when he gets to the Rebellion, Zeb isn’t willing to face what they have become to each other.

First Illustration and Full Fic Part 1 - About 15k words

Fic Part 2 - Ongoing NEW

Lira San Life - Not an AU, just snapshots of their time together after they finally get the chance to stop, catch their breath, and BE. Together.

In Kallus’ Garden Kallus’ Lira San Clothing Lira San Wedding

Rebel Cell - ABO AU - as part of his torture, the Empire changes Kallus’ body. At first Kallus thinks he might be a bioweapon of some kind, but as the days pass he realises it is much more humiliating than deadly. The only person he can rely on to help him through this artificial heat is Garazeb Orrelios.

Fic on AO3 (Complete). Fic part 2 (Ongoing). Recharging artwork Sharp teeth/bite artwork

Bodyguard AU / Honourable Discharge AU - Kallus’ father pulls him from military service after the catastrophic injuries Kallus survived on Onderon. He wants Kallus to lead their wealthy business one day instead. Dismissive of his son’s PTSD, he hires a Lasat merc as a bodyguard when business rivals threaten Alex’s life. Zeb, struggling with finding any kind of work after the fall of Lasan, finds himself babysitting a prissy, self-important, veteran-princeling who is terrified of him and trying desperately not to show it.

Kallus Businesswear Kallus and Zeb on Coruscant Overview Ficlet

Death Match - Gladiator AU - Zeb never got out of the fighting pits, and has become a near legendary, celebrity fighter within them. The planet hosting his indentured matches kisses up to the Empire and offers their officers free viewings to brutal fights, sumptuous food, and sensuous dancers. Kallus’ colleague wants to take his number in the ISB, and he’s an underhanded snake about it. He traps Kallus in the underground chambers of the fighting ring, and leaves him to be murdered there. Instead, Kallus is taken in by Zeb and fights his way to the top, and his subsequent rescue via ISB interference. After he wins his freedom, he becomes Zeb’s patron. Everyone suspects Kallus uses his new fighter for pleasure. Which is a fantastic cover story, and also something Kallus finds himself horrified to be longing for in reality.

First Illustration

Galactic Courtesan - Kallus outfits Kallus and Zeb meeting to exchange information

Disneyfication - Rebels in the style of the Mouse

Kallus and Zeb Hera and Kanan Imperial Kallus Swan Princess Style

#I’ll add links and stuff to this tomorrow #designed for easy browsing #long post #if you search the titles of each au as a tag you should find it all #myart

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yanderes-galore · 2 years

Text

Current Drafts

Edited: 5/4/24

{Purple Warnings} means what it says in purple, a request is being held off, usually due to me lacking enough knowledge to do them at the time (Need to catch up on shows for example) or I have no plot planned. They will be written when I catch up enough to write them or think of a plot (Sorry in advance).

[Author's Idea] is just things I personally wanted to do, not requested. As a result it is unaffected by requests.

Color Coding

Green = February 1st Requests (15)

Pink = March 2nd Requests (18) (3)

Red = March 16th (422)

Orange = Loosely Closed Section (119)

Please be patient with me 💜

IN QUEUE

- May 4th -

Yandere Virus! Applejack Concept

- May 5th -

Yandere! Platonic! Angel Dust Prompts 2, 28, 61

Yandere Virus! Mane Six Concept - Patient Zero

Yandere! Marina Concept

- May 6th -

Yandere Alphabet - Ripa 'Moramee

Yandere Alphabet - Satoru Gojo

Yandere! Platonic! Ryomen Sukuna

- May 7th -

Yandere Alphabet - Leonard L. Church

Yandere! BLU Medic Prompts 7, 61, 63

Yandere! Jameson Locke Concept

- May 8th -

Yandere! Vox with Singer! Darling

ON HOLD

Yandere! Naoya Zen'in with Female! Sorcerer! Darling [Catching Up On Source Material]

Centuries - Yandere! Satoru Gojo Story [Catching Up On Source Material]

Yandere! Yuta Okkotsu with Childhood Friend! Darling [Catching Up On Source Material]

Overwatch

Yandere! Soldier 76 Prompt 23

Yandere! Junker Queen vs Yandere! Roadhog/Junkrat

Cult of The Lamb

Conversion - Yandere! Chemach Scenario

Yandere! Narinder with Lamb! Darling

Yandere! Follower! Narinder with Darling who likes The Lamb

Back From Death's Claws - Yandere! The Lamb Short

Yandere! The Lamb Prompts 16 + 17

Yandere! Narinder Prompts 51, 58, 59

Yandere! Platonic! The Lamb vs TOWW

Yandere Alphabet - Leshy

Yandere! Kallamar with Lamb! Darling

Yandere! Shamura Concept

Yandere! Helob with Captured! Darling

JJBA

Yandere! Josuke vs Okuyasu

Yandere! Platonic! Jonathan Joestar with Childhood Friend! Darling

Yandere! Diavolo with La Squadra! Darling

Yandere! Giorno Giovanna Concept

Yandere! Jonathan Joestar Concept

Yandere! Jolyne Cujoh Concept

Yandere! Diavolo Concept

Yandere! Dio Brando/DIO Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Diavolo

Yandere! Noriaki Kakyoin Concept

Yandere! Narancia Ghirga Concept

Yandere! Yoshikage Kira vs Diavolo

Yandere! Platonic! Dragona + Jodio Joestar

Yandere! Josuke Higashikata (Part 8) Concept

Yandere! Leone Abbacchio Concept

Yandere! Kars with Hamon User! Darling

Creature of The Night - Yandere! Dio Brando Short

Yandere! Trish Una Concept

Yandere! Enrico Pucci Prompt 2

Perfect Victory - Yandere! Yoshikage Kira Short

Fear and Hunger

Love Taste - Yandere! Levi Short

Rebirth - Yandere! Kaiser (Le'Garde) Short

Yandere! Levi Prompts 5, 17, 19

Yandere! New God! Cahara Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Modern AU! Enki Concept

Quest For Ascension - Yandere! Le'Garde Short

Yandere! Platonic! Levi with Little Sister! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Karin

Yandere Alphabet - Marina

Yandere! Samarie with Friend! Darling

Yandere! O'saa Concept

Yandere! Enki with Priest! Darling

Yandere! Karin vs Daan Concept

Yandere! Abella Concept

Yandere! Henryk Concept

Yandere! Pav Concept

Yandere! Levi Prompts E-3, H-1, P-1

Yandere! Enki Concept

Yandere! Le'Garde Concept

Medical Attention - Yandere! Daan Concept

Yandere! Marina with Yellow Mage! Darling

Yandere! Daan with Yellow Mage! Darling

Yandere! Marina Alternative Concept

Yandere! Daan with Sylvian Worshipper! Darling

Gears

Yandere! Anya Stroud Concept

Yandere! Marcus + Baird with Mother! Darling Expanded Ideas

Yandere! JD Fenix Concept - (Mother! Darling Series)

Yandere! JD, Kait, Gabriel with Darling kissing them on the cheek

Undertale/Deltarune

Through The Woods - Yandere! Horror! Sans Scenario

Yandere! Spamton with Royal Heir! Darling

Yandere! Alphys Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Noelle Holiday

Yandere! Platonic! Noelle Holiday with Relative! Darling

Yandere! Snowgrave! Noelle Concept

Yandere! Grillby with Shy! Darling

Yandere! X-Tale! Chara + Frisk Sharing a Darling

Yandere! X-Tale! Chara with Darling trying to escape

Yandere! Ink Sans Concept

Yandere! Nightmare Sans Concept

Yandere! Cross with Sweetheart! Darling

Yandere! Cross Concept

Bone Cold - Yandere! Sans Story

Yandere! Platonic! X-Gaster Concept

Team Fortress 2

Yandere! RED Sniper with BLU Spy! Darling

MLP

Yandere! Princess Cadance + Shining Armor

Yandere! Trixie Lulamoon Concept

Yandere! Princess Cadance Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Princess Cadance

Yandere! Princess Cadance vs King Sombra

Slashers

Yandere! Otis Driftwood Prompt G-3

Yandere! Pinhead Concept

Blood Ties - Yandere! Platonic! Bubba Sawyer Scenario

Yandere! Freddy Krueger Prompts 4 + 7

Yandere Alphabet - Harry Warden

Yandere! Axel Palmer Prompts

Yandere! Nubbins Sawyer Prompts 31, 41, 55

Yandere! Otis Driftwood Concept

Yandere! Nubbins Sawyer Concept

Yandere! Harry Warden Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Billy Lenz

Yandere! Platonic! Billy Loomis Concept

Genshin Impact

Yandere! Kokomi Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Zhongli

Yandere! Yae Miko with Oni! Darling

Yandere! Yae Miko with Shy! Darling

Yandere! Freminet Concept

Yandere! Furina with Affectionate! Darling

Yandere! Lisa Concept

Yandere! Kokomi Prompt 34

Yandere! Furina + Neuvillette Sharing a Darling

Yandere! Lyney Concept

The Boys

Yandere! Black Noir Prompts 34, 53, 92

Yandere! Homelander Prompts 49, 85, 90

Yandere! Homelander vs Black Noir

Yandere Queen Maeve Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Black Noir

Yandere! Black Noir Concept

Yandere! A-Train Concept

Yandere! Soldier Boy Concept

Yandere! Starlight Concept

Halo RvB

Yandere Agent Carolina Concept

Halo

Yandere! Sarah Palmer Concept

Yandere Mickey/Michael Crespo Concept

Yandere! Emile-A239 Concept

Yandere! Jul 'Mdama Concept

Yandere! Miranda Keyes Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Asum 'Mdama (Bakar) Concept

Yandere! Ellen Anders vs Ripa 'Moramee Concept

Jujutsu Kaisen

Yandere! Yuji Itadori Prompts 3, 8, 29

Yandere! Mahito with Jujutsu Sorcerer! Darling

Yandere Self-Aware! Yuji + Gojo

Yandere! Yuji Itadori Prompts 23 + 37

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Prompts 17, 2, 36

Better Than Him - Yandere! Satoru Gojo Short

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Prompts 5, 14, 26

Yandere! Nobara Kugisaki vs Yuji Itadori

Yandere! Yuji Itadori with Sorcerer! Darling

Yandere! Sukuna vs Yuji Itadori

Yandere! Itadori/Sukuna Kidnapping Darling

Yandere! Geto Suguru with Sorcerer! Darling

Yandere! Mei Mei Concept

Yandere! Kusakabe Concept

Yandere! Nanami Concept

Watching Over You - Yandere! Satoru Gojo Short

Yandere! Toji Fushiguro with Sorcerer! Darling

Wearing Masks, Playing Roles - Yandere! Fake! Geto/Kenjaku Short

Becoming One - Yandere! Fake! Geto/Kenjaku Short

Prized Pet Taught Tricks - Yandere Suguru Geto Short

Yandere! Platonic! Choso Concept

Yandere! Mei Mei with Student! Darling

Yandere! Miwa Concept

Yandere! Megumi Concept

Yandere! Toge Concept

Yandere! Maki Concept

Yandere! Utahime Concept

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Prompts 15, 54, 38

Heir To The Throne - Yandere! Heian Era! Sukuna Short

Yandere! Sukuna with Defiant! Darling

Yandere! Satoru Gojo with Affectionate! Darling

A Song of Ice and Fire (HOTD/GOT)

Yandere! Rhaenyra Targaryen Concept

Yandere! Aemond Targaryen Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Rhaenyra Targaryen

Yandere! Platonic! Corlys Velaryon vs Viserys I Targaryen

Yandere! Rhaenys Targaryen Prompts 4, 5, 22

Yandere! Cersei Lannister Prompts 19, 12, 16

Yandere! Cersei Lannister Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Rhaenys Concept

Yandere! Daemon Targaryen Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Daemon Targaryen

Yandere Alphabet - Aemond Targaryen

Yandere! Aemond Targaryen Prompts 14, 19, 21

Yandere! Aegon I Targaryen Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Aegon II Targaryen

Yandere! Aegon I Targaryen Prompts G-2, I-3, X-3

Yandere Alphabet - Aegon I Targaryen

Yandere! Jaqen H'ghar Concept

Yandere! Rhaenyra Targaryen Prompts 4, 66, 94

Yandere! Criston Cole Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Ser Duncan The Tall

Yandere! Daemon + Rhaenyra Sharing a Maid! Darling

Yandere! Ser Criston Cole Prompts 2, 8, 16

Yandere! Ser Duncan The Tall Concept

Yandere! Rhaenyra vs Aegon II

Yandere Alphabet - Ser Criston Cole

Yandere! Ser Duncan The Tall Prompts 3, 12, 61

Yandere! Roose Bolton Concept

Yandere! Brynden Rivers vs Aegor Rivers

Yandere! Melisandre Concept

Yandere Rhaenyra Prompts 7 + 10

Yandere! Maegor Targaryen Concept

Demon Slayer

Yandere! Role-Swap! Tanjiro Concept

Yandere! Tanjiro with Demon! Darling

Yandere! Mitsuri Kanroji Concept

Yandere! Kokushibo with Slayer! Darling

Yandere! Genya Shinazugawa Concept

Creepypasta

Yandere! Jeff The Killer Prompt 51

Souls-Like Games

W.I.P Title - Yandere! Platonic! Scrapped Watchman "Murphy" Scenario

Yandere! Rennala Prompts 58, 73, 94

Yandere! Maliketh, The Black Blade Concept

Yandere! Ornstein + Smough Concept

Yandere! Pinocchio/P with Human! Darling

Yandere! Rykard + Tanith Sharing a Darling

Overprotective! Sif Concept

Yandere! Lord's Blade Ciaran Concept

Yandere! Fia Concept

Yandere! Ornstein Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Rennala

Yandere! Lady Maria Concept

Yandere! Annalise Concept

Yandere! Sister Friede Concept

Yandere! Yuria of Londor Concept

Yandere! Pontiff Sulyvahn Concept

Yandere! Ranni Concept

Bendy and The Ink Machine

Yandere! Twisted Alice Angel with Imperfect Toon! Darling

Yandere! Sammy Lawrence Concept

Yandere! Joey Drew with Coworker! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Bendy Prompts 59

Yandere! Henry Stein Concept

Twisted Wonderland

Yandere! Overblot! Leona Kingscholar

Yandere! Overblot! Idia Shroud

Yandere! Deuce Spade Prompts 22, 19, 24

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Yandere! Nifty with Messy! Darling

Yandere! Husk with Sinner! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Adam

Yandere Alphabet - Lucifer

Yandere! Alastor Concept

Yandere! Vox Concept

Yandere! Rosie Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Carmilla Carmine with Sinner! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Charlie Morningstar

Yandere! Vox Prompts 36, 53, 57

Yandere! Vaggie Concept

Yandere! Charlie Concept

Yandere! Vox vs Alastor with Fallen Angel! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Vaggie vs Platonic! Angel Dust with Overlord! Darling

Yandere! Charlie + Vaggie Sharing Darling

Yandere! Carmilla Carmine Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Angel Dust Concept

Yandere! Charlie with Goat Demon! Darling

Yandere! Vaggie dealing with rivals

Yandere! Platonic! Nifty Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Alastor Concept

Yandere! Alastor vs Vox with Vox's Assistant! Darling

Yandere! Adam Prompts 2, 19, 39

Yandere! Lute Concept

Yandere! Adam Prompt 35

Yandere! Adam Concept

Yandere! Lucifer Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Cherri Bomb

Yandere! Cherri Bomb Concept

Yandere! Alastor with Demon! Darling

Yandere! Sir Pentious Concept

Yandere! Adam vs Lucifer Concept

Yandere! Lucifer vs Alastor Concept

Yandere! Velvette vs Carmilla Carmine

Yandere! Emily Concept

Yandere! Lucifer with Fallen Angel! Darling

Yandere! Lute + Adam Concept

Yandere! Lucifer with Defiant! Darling

Yandere! Husk with Lucky Gambler! Darling

Yandere! Moxxie + Millie with Human! Darling

Yandere! Stolas Concept

House Always Wins - Yandere! Overlord! Husk Scenario

Yandere! Mammon Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Alastor with Deer Demon! Darling

Yandere! Sir Pentious with Flirty! Darling

Yandere! Lucifer Morningstar Prompts 2, 12, 38

Yandere! Fizzarolli + Asmodeus with Overlord! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Stolas with Lust Ring! Darling

Yandere! Blitzø Prompts 18, 30, 15

Yandere! Fizzarolli + Asmodeus Prompts 7 + 21

Yandere! Vox Prompts 1, 8, 12, 13

Yandere! Lucifer with Maid! Darling

Aftermath - Yandere! Alastor Short

Yandere! Queen Beelzebub with Hellhound! Darling

Yandere! Cherri Bomb + Angel Dust Sharing a Darling

Yandere! Vox with Affectionate! Darling

Push Me Away - Yandere Blitzø Short

Yandere Blitzø + Stolas Sharing

Yandere! Husker Concept

Yandere! Loona Concept

Yandere! Redeemed! Sir Pentious with Heaven! Darling

Yandere! Alastor with Darling who has a Deal

Resident Evil

Yandere! Mia + Ethan with BSAA! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Donna Beneviento

Yandere! Albert Wesker vs Chris Redfield

Echoes Of My Past - Yandere! Albert Wesker Short

Yandere! Albert Wesker Prompts 11 + 15

Yandere! Mia Winters Concept

Adventure Time/Fionna and Cake

Yandere! Scarab Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Scarab

Yandere! Finn The Human Prompts 14, 23, 34

Yandere Alphabet - Princess Bubblegum

Yandere Alphabet - Finn The Human

Yandere! Marceline Concept

Yandere! Princess Bubblegum Concept

Yandere! Betty Grof Concept

Yandere! Finn The Human Concept

Ratchet and Clank

Yandere! Shellshock Concept

Yandere! Rivet Concept

Yandere! Emperor Nefarious with Human! Darling

Naruto

Yandere! Tobirama Senju with Darling who takes care of him

Yandere! Naruto with Uchiha! Darling

Yandere! Sasuke with Runaway! Darling

Yandere! Naruto with Ninja! Darling

Yandere! Sasuke vs Yandere! Hinata

Yandere! Platonic! Naruto vs Yandere! Platonic! Sasuke

Yandere! Naruto + Sakura Sharing a Darling

Yandere! Sasuke Prompt 37

Yandere Alphabet - Sasuke Uchiha

Yandere Obito with Akatsuki! Darling

Sins of The Mother - Yandere! Platonic! Itachi with Daughter! Darling

Yandere! Orochimaru Concept

Yandere! Kakashi Hatake Concept

Yandere! Sasuke Uchiha Concept

Yandere! Naruto Uzumaki Concept

Beastars

Yandere! Overprotective Riz with Raccoon! Darling

Yandere! Louis Prompts 12, 19, 25

Yandere Alphabet - Riz

Yandere Alphabet - Bill

Yandere Alphabet - Louis

Yandere! Juno with Rabbit! Darling

Yandere! Legoshi vs Juno with Wolf! Darling

Yandere! Legoshi Prompt 60

Yandere! Haru + Legoshi Sharing a Darling

Yandere! Ibuki Concept

Yandere! Legoshi vs Riz

Yandere Alphabet - Legoshi

Attack on Titan

Yandere Alphabet - Annie

Yandere! Mikasa Prompts 4, 14, 38

Yandere Alphabet - Levi Ackerman

Yandere Alphabet - Eren

Yandere Alphabet - Mikasa

Yandere! Annie Prompts 7, 20, 36

Yandere! Petra Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Erwin Smith

Yandere! Porco Galliard Concept

Yandere! Sasha Braus Concept

Yandere! Eren Prompts 1, 6, 46

Yandere! Moblit Berner Concept

Yandere! Annie Leonhart Concept

Yandere! Oruo Bozad Concept

Yandere! Hange Zoe Concept

Yandere! Jean Concept

Yandere! Erwin Smith Concept

Yandere! Historia Reiss Concept

Yandere! Mikasa Ackerman Concept

Yandere! Levi Ackerman Concept

Yandere! Seasons 1-3! Eren Concept

Yandere! Levi Ackerman vs Zeke Yeager

Yandere! Bertolt Hoover Concept

Warrior's Mission - Yandere! Reiner Braun Short

Yandere! Reiner Braun Concept (Sacrificial Bride AU)

Yandere! Eren Yeager (Season 4) Concept

Yandere Eren vs Armin (Seasons 1-3)

My Hero Academia

Yandere Alphabet - Katsuki Bakugou

Yandere! Kamui Woods Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Shoto Todoroki

Yandere! Hawks Concept

Yandere! Endeavor Concept

Yandere! Hitoshi Shinso Concept

Faltering - Yandere! Izuku Midoriya Short

Yandere! Neito Monoma Concept

Yandere! Hero! Katsuki vs Yandere! Villain! Kirishima with Reporter! Darling

Yandere! Villain! Deku Concept

Yandere! Deku with Hero! Darling

Yandere! Shoto Todoroki Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Stain with Successor! Darling

Yandere! Tomura Shigaraki Prompts 8, 20, 22

Yandere! Tomura Shigaraki with Hero! Darling

Yandere! Villain! Aizawa with Darling who has a strong Quirk

Yandere! Katsuki Bakugou Concept

Yandere! All For One with Hero! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Dabi

Yandere! Hari Kurono Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Overhaul

Yandere Alphabet - Shigaraki

Yandere! Dabi Prompts 1, 57, 13

Yandere! Dabi with Darling scared of fire

Yandere Eijiro Kirishima Concept

Yandere! Izuku Midoriya Concept

Yandere! Himiko Toga with Quirkless! Darling

Dead By Daylight

Yandere! Haddie Kaur Prompts 29 + 48

Branding - Yandere! Frank Morrison Short

Yandere! The Oni Prompts 6, 11, 24

Yandere! Dredge Concept

Mimicry - Yandere! The Unknown Short

Yandere! The Oni Concept

Yandere! James Sunderland vs Leon Kennedy

Yandere! Nurse Prompts 17, 56, 1

Yandere! The Unknown Concept

Yandere! Gabriel Soma with Survivor! Darling

Yandere! The Unknown with Darling it found before the fog

Yandere! Ghostface (DBD) with Defiant! Darling

Ticking Down - Yandere! The Unknown Scenario

Yandere! Ash Williams with Timid! Darling

Yandere! The Entity with Killer! Darling

Yandere! The Unknown vs The Shape (Michael Myers)

Under Their Skin - Yandere! The Unknown Short

Yandere! Trickster vs Shape

Yandere! HUX-A7-13 with Android! Darling

Yandere! James Sunderland (DBD) Concept

Yandere! The Unknown with Curious! Darling

Yandere! Ace Visconti Concept

Yandere! Sable Ward Concept

Yandere! Rin Yamaoka/The Spirit Concept

Yandere! Dwight Fairfield Concept

Yandere! The Unknown vs The Dredge

Yandere! Pyramid Head (DBD) Concept

Yandere! Frank + Julie Concept

South Park

Yandere! Human Kite vs Professor Chaos with New Kid! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Wendy Testaburger

TMNT

Yandere! 2012! Baxter Stockman Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Splinter vs Yandere! Platonic! Shredder

Yandere! 2018! Platonic! Splinter

Yandere! 2003! Donatello Concept

Yandere! Parasitica! Leonardo Prompts 7 + 31

Yandere! 2012! Leonardo with Brainwashed! Darling

Yandere! Dogpound vs Fishface

Yandere Alphabet - 2018! Raphael

Yandere! 2018! Raphael with Snake Yokai! Darling

Yandere! 2018! Leonardo + Raphael with Rabbit Mutant! Darling

Yandere 2018! Leonardo Prompts 8, 55, 59

Yandere! Platonic! 2012! Shredder Prompt 44

Yandere! Alopex Concept

Yandere! 2018! Leonardo with Isekai! Darling

Yandere! Vampire! Raphael Concept

Smiling Critters

Yandere! DogDay vs CatNap Concept

Yandere! Bobby Bearhug Concept

Yandere Alphabet - CatNap

Yandere! Bubba Bubbaphant Concept

Yandere Alphabet - DogDay

Yandere! Platonic! DogDay Prompts

Yandere! KickinChicken Concept

Yandere! Hoppy Hopscotch Concept

Happy Tree Friends

Yandere! Fliqpy vs Splendid

Yandere! Flippy/Fliqpy with Unlucky! Darling

Star Wars

Yandere Alphabet - Darth Vader

Yandere! Stormtrooper with Higher Rank! Darling

Yandere! Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) Concept

Yandere! General Grievous Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Darth Vader Concept

Yandere! Anakin with Senator! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Darth Maul + Savage Opress with Night Sister! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Savage Opress with Apprentice! Darling

Yandere! Darth Vader with Rebel! Darling

Yandere! Darth Vader with Jedi! Darling

Yandere! Anakin Skywalker Concept

Yandere! Padme + Anakin Courting Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Obi-Wan + Satine Kryze with Handmaid! Darling

Yandere! Satine Kryze with Gentle Senator! Darling

Yandere! Obi-Wan with Senator! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Master! Ahsoka with Padawan! Darling

Yandere! CT-5555/Fives with Jedi! Darling

Yandere! Darth Maul Concept

Yandere! Boba Fett Concept

Yandere! Darth Vader Concept

Danganronpa

Yandere! Maki Harukawa Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Sakura Oogami

Yandere! Mukuro Ikusaba Prompt 12

Yandere! Toko with Darling who likes to read

Eye On You - Yandere! Junko Enoshima Short

Yandere! Sayaka Maizono with Aspiring Idol! Darling

Yandere! Mikan with Clingy! Darling

Yandere! Miu Iruma Concept

Yandere! Junko Enoshima Prompt 4

Yandere! DG! Nagito with Darling threatening him

Yandere! Mikan Prompts 8, 20, 35

Yandere Alphabet - Hajime Hinata

Yandere! Kokichi with Darling who dislikes him

Yandere! Hajime Hinata Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Nagito Komaeda

Yandere! Nagito Komaeda Concept

Yandere! Mikan Concept

Steven Universe

Yandere Alphabet - Pink Diamond

Yandere! Garnet Concept

Yandere! Steven Universe Prompts 9, 25, 28

Yandere! Platonic! Jasper with Human! Darling

Yandere! Jasper Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Spinel

Coming Undone - Yandere! Steven Universe Short

Yandere! Steven Universe Prompts 8, 18, 22

Yandere! Pink Diamond Concept

Yandere! Lapis Concept

Yandere! Rose Quartz with Human! Darling

OFF

Yandere! Batter with Darling who isn't afraid of him

LEGO Monkie Kid

Yandere! Red Son Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Mei

Yandere! Mei with Childhood Friend! Darling

Yandere! Spider Queen Prompts 45, 55, 58

Yandere! Mei + Red Son

Yandere! MK Prompts 6, 12, 14

Yandere! Macaque vs Wukong Scenario

Yandere! Macaque Prompts 59, 57, 22

Yandere! Red Son Prompts 51 + 52

Yandere! Platonic! Princess Iron Fan Prompts 35 + 36

Yandere Alphabet - Syntax

Yandere! Red Son Prompt 33

Yandere Alphabet - Macaque

Yandere! Wukong vs Macaque

Yandere! Red Son with Darling trying to escape Short

Yandere! Wukong Prompts 61, 51, 32

Yandere! Macaque with Seer! Darling

Yandere! Azure Lion with Celestial Maiden! Darling Prompt

Yandere! Platonic! Monkey King + MK with Defiant! Darling

Yandere! Mei with Tang Niece! Darling Prompt

Yandere! Monkey King with Darling trying not to be immortal

Yandere Alphabet - MK

Yandere! Macaque with Healer! Monkey Demon! Darling Scenario

Yandere! Platonic! Red Son vs Mei with Cat Demon! Darling

Two Faced - Yandere! MK Short (With Enabler! Mei)

Yandere! Red Son with Timid! Darling

Yandere! MK Concept

Yandere! Wukong Concept

Yandere! Macaque with Student! Darling

Yandere! Wukong with LBD Descendent! Darling

Yandere! Ne Zha Concept

Yandere! Syntax Prompts 20, 15, 58

Yandere! Spider-Demon Trio Concept (Huntsman, Strong Spider, Syntax)

Yandere! Platonic! Red Son with Orphan! Darling

Yandere! Sun Wukong with Ne Zha Successor! Darling

Identity V

Yandere! Norton Campbell/Fool's Gold Concept

Yandere! Matthias Czernin Concept

SCP

Yandere! SCP-079 with Emotional! Darling

Yandere! SCP-049 Prompts 5, 44, 46

Ninjago

Yandere! Lloyd Garmadon Prompts 1 + 4

Yandere! Zane with Nindroid! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Skales

Yandere! Platonic! Zane with Student! Darling

Yandere Alphabet - Pythor

Yandere! Nya Concept

Yandere! Skales Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Nya with Ninja! Darling

Fire Force

Yandere Alphabet - Shinra Kusabake

Yandere! Maki Oze Concept

Yandere! Iris Concept

Yandere! Shinra Kusakabe Concept

Yandere! Maki + Shinra getting rid of rivals

Yandere! Platonic! Shinra with Older Sibling! Darling with Yandere! Romantic! Hibana

Yandere! Hibana Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Shinra Concept

One Piece

Yandere! Nami + Luffy with Darling resisting

Yandere! Platonic! Luffy vs Yandere! Platonic! Zoro with Gunslinger! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Luffy + Yandere! Romantic! Law with Pirate! Darling

Yandere! Platonic Luffy + Robin seeing Darling as a sibling

Yandere! Kaido Prompt 50

Yandere! Zoro Concept

Yandere! Platonic! Luffy with Marine Sister! Darling

Yandere! Monkey D. Luffy Concept

Yandere! Crocadile Prompt 19

Yandere! Zoro Prompt 57

Yandere! Ace Prompt 46

Yandere! Boa Hancock Prompt 45

Yandere! Crocodile + Robin with a Darling

Yandere! Platonic Zoro vs Yandere Romantic! Robin

Yandere! Luffy + Sanji Sharing Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Zoro with Weak! Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Monkey D. Luffy with Distrustful! Darling

Yandere! Sanji vs Zoro Concept

Yandere! Monkey D. Luffy getting rid of rivals

Yandere! Ace getting rid of rivals

Detroit: Become Human

Upgrades - Yandere! RK900 Scenario

Yandere! Ralph Prompts 22, 9, 2

Tokyo Ghoul

Yandere! Eto Yoshimura Concept

Yandere! Koutarou Amon with Ghoul! Darling

Black Butler

Yandere! Grell Sutcliff Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Grell Sutcliff

Death Note

Yandere! Light Yagami with Kira Devotee! Darling

Mannerisms - Yandere! Light Yagami Short

Yandere! Light Yagami vs L

Yandere! Light Yagami E-3 + M-1

Yandere! Misa Amane Prompts 17 + 29

Yandere! Misa/Rem Sharing a Darling

Yandere! Platonic! Light Yagami with Classmate! Darling

Rick and Morty

Yandere! Summer Smith with Friend! Darling

Invader Zim

Yandere! Platonic! Zim Concept

Yandere! Tak vs Gaz Concept

Yandere! Gaz Membrane Concept

Yandere! Tak Concept

Legend of Zelda

Yandere! Mipha vs Revali Concept

Splatoon

Yandere! Specs Concept

#current drafts

128 notes · View notes

ivyprism · 5 months

Text

Masterlist 22

Suggestive? Kind of? *

Character and AU Information:

Skelesona Updated Description (Outfits)

Final Boss: Gaster (Info Dump)

Final Boss: the Royal Family (Info Dump)

Final Boss: Undyne and Alphys (Info Dump)

Final Boss: Mettaton and Napstablook (Info Dump)

Final Boss: Grillby, Muffet, and Monster Kid (Info Dump)

The Final Boss: H (Info Dump)

Skelesona Backstory Summary (Hehehoo)

H Backstory Summary (Hehehoo)

OG! Gasters (Info Dump: Revamp)

Skeleton Boy Jobs: Revamp and New Part 1

Skeleton Boy Jobs: Revamp and New Part 2

Otter Selkiesona (Info Dump)

Skeleton Boy Jobs: Revamp and New Part 3

Skeleton Boy Jobs: Revamp and New Part 4

The Sea Serpents (Info Dump: Revamp)

Sona Jobs: Revamp and New Part 1

Sona Jobs: Revamp and New Part 2

Skelesona Jobs: Revamp and New Part 1

Skelesona Jobs: Revamp and New Part 2

The God of Light Spirits and the God of Dark Spirits (Info Dump)

Siren!sona (Info Dump)

H makes her Sonas more Sona

Dicentra: Tiefling!sona (Info Dump)

Angels Fall AU: Horror AU Skeleton Boys (Info Dump)

Horror: Angels Fall Skelesona (Info Dump)

Dating Sim LI OCs (Fun Facts)

Mafiadance Skeleton Boys (Info Dump)

Mafiadance Sonas (Info Dump)

Figure Skating Skeleton Boys and Sonas (Info Dump)

Deap Sea Gods and Sky Gods: Skeleton Boys (Info Dump)

The Galaxy Goddesses (Info Dump)

The Mermaid Mercenaries Facts (Info)

Fun fact: Sona Theme

Fun fact: Sans and Papyrus Themes

Fun fact: Voicecanons for Sonas

Fun Fact: Tongue Piercing (Undertale, Underswap, Underfell, Swapfell Amethyst, and Fellswap Carnelian Boys)

Fun Fact: Romance Novels (Underfell Papyrus)

Other Dragons: Horrortale, Fellswap Carnelian, and Swapfell Amethyst Skeleton Boys (Info Dump)

Other Dragons: Horrortale, Fellswap, and Swapfell Skelesonas (Info Dump)

The Roles of the Story (Info)

Dreamswap AU: Skeleton Boys and Sona (Info Dump)

Trainersona (Info Dump)

Fell! Black Crow Pirates: Skeleton Boys and Sona (Info Dump)

The Story Pieces: Sonas (Info Dump)

My Outcode Skeleton Boys (Info Dump: Revamp)

Fun Fact (Horrorswapfell Glaucous Papyrus)

The Cursed: Sona (Info Dump)

The Deity of Envy (Info Dump)

The Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: OC Rewrite (Info Dump)

The Galaxy Sisters: Outcode Skeleton Sisters' Diner Rewrite (Info Dump)

The Other Outcode Skeleton Sisters Diner: Rewrite (Info Dump)

Angels Fall AU: Revamp (Info Dump)

Angels Fall Girls: Rewritten (Info Dump)

The Mafia Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: Rewritten (Info Dump)

Farmtale Tieflingsona: Harmony (Info Dump)

The Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: Children OCs Rewritten (Info Dump)

The Horror Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: Children OCs Rewritten (Info Dump)

The Mafia Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: Children OCs Rewritten (Info Dump)

The Outcode Skeleton Sisters' Diner AU: Children OCs Rewritten (Info Dump)

Cursed Skeleton Boys (Info Dump)

Ghostsona/Robotsona: Rewritten (Info Dump)

Hydrangea's Twin Sister: Helena Rewrite (Info Dump)

Stories Written:

Merry Late Gyftmas (Ranch edition!)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Kioko edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Astro Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Neilles Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Crys Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Fruit Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Kuvvy Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Kay Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Lydia Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Borf Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Didderd Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Rayne Edition)

Merry Late Gyftmas (Rain Edition)

Ruthlessness (Garlan Edition!)

Weapon Match Up (Astro Edition)

Weapon Match Up (Echo Edition)

Choice (Lyric Thing)

Ready as I'll Ever Be (Lyric Thing)

Let's Dance (Prim x DJ)

Holly's Sacrifice (The Adventurers of Millenis Backstory)

Don't Imagine (Sickle)

Don't Imagine (Breaker)

Don't Imagine (Sickle)

Don't Imagine (Parchment)

At All Costs (Lyric Thing: Eclipse x Heliconia)

Can't Catch Me Now (The Betrayed's Lament: Lyric Thing)

The Cursed (Sona Backstory)

Be Strong, Don't Give Up (Dawn x Reader)

Divine Intervention: God Games (Lyric Thing)

Despite Everything... (Nightmare Sans x Cursed Ivy)

Asks:

Kittens, Mama Cat, and a Puppy (Mafiafell Papyrus)

Date (Nightmare Sans)

Romance Soft (Pirate Killer Sans)

Dip (Pirate Killer Sans)

Hug (Pirate Killer Sans)

Charming Him (Nightmare Sans)

Did Verbena know about the Deity of Life? (Cursed H)

9 notes · View notes

wordstro · 1 year

Text

[3] game of thrones-inspired au + prince hongjoong + "all you have to do is beg."

a/n: 13k words, gender neutral reader, uhhh some very sad reunions, implications of abuse (not hongjoong), implications of cheating, daddy issues........i blame those anthology posts ppl make with every sad dad-related quote ever, also in game of thrones there's a tradition called the bedding ceremony and it definitely is very coercive/pretty much assault played off as a fun little traditional thing in the books so i will not be delving into it in this fic, it happens but not as terribly and i wanted to warn yall since it can be triggering, hongjoong is toxic/mean, anxiety descriptions, the beginnings of what i like to call the hongjoongification of y/n

"have you found robes fit for a royal?" yeosang asked as he escorted you from the queen's waiting room to yours. the queen hadn't seemed ecstatic, in fact she only seemed sad for you, despite her short sentences and clear exhaustion. her reaction only worried you further, as hongjoong was her son. even after all these years, you could never discern hongjoong and the queen's relationship. the queen was fond of hongjoong, and hongjoong of her, but hongjoong barely spoke of her. you heard from the maids that he visited her chambers often, but that was the only extent to their relationship you were privy to. yet, here the queen was, seemingly sad over this betrothal. you'd tried on the traditional kim wedding robes, the maids clapping at the sight of you. and the queen had merely nodded and pat your cheek before she dismissed you.

yeosang matched your pace as you strode through the halls of the red keep, ignoring the eyes on you. not one person in court bothered to hide their whispers. the king wasted no time in announcing the wedding, and you found yourself more worried for san than yourself, as was still at storm's end. at this rate, the seven kingdoms would know before san. a hasty marriage between hongjoong and you would only have the people of the court believe something foul was afoot, especially since san and you courted each other so publicly all these months.

for a moment, the only sound between you both was the clinking of yeosang's armor, and the murmured greetings of servants as you passed into more private parts of the red keep.

you said then, "should you continue addressing me in such a tone?"

"have you found robes fit for a royal, your grace?" yeosang repeated, tacking on the title with a taunting grin.

you sighed, turning the corner, "i've always had robes fit for a royal in dorne."

"that is in the past. soon you'll have resided here longer than you have in dorne, you know."

you did not like that reminder. it brought an ache to your chest, and the urge to fling yourself from the nearest window to escape - an impossible feat since all your windows have had golden grates latched to them since you arrived - or take the narrow passageways behind the walls and run far far away. but you did not know where to go, and you could barely handle a sword, despite your lessons, as hongjoong, yeosang, ser johnny, and ser yuta liked to remind you. only mingi ever told you that you were improving in that area.

you paused at your chamber doors. you spoke without really looking at yeosang, "you said once that whomever i wed will determine my fate."

you turned to look up at yeosang, and a faint ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips at whatever he thought of your expression. he tilted his head, said, "you remembered that? i am touched, your grace."

you'd glared at his teasing tone, even as you clarified, "i want to know what happens when i marry the prince? you seemed so sure of yourself when you spoke of my fate. what of this arrangement, then? what is my fate now?"

yeosang's smile did not slip from his face as you wanted. kang yeosang would never give you the pleasure of vindication. he merely dragged a hand through his yellow-blond hair, his dark eyes piercing. his hand remained at the hilt of his sword, even as he said, "you will become king hongjoong's partner, my liege. his monarch."

you'd rolled your eyes. before you could respond, yeosang added a quiet, "and his weakness."

"weakness?" you'd laughed in disbelief.

"i suppose," yeosang tilted his head, the smile on his face a pretty thing, the signature kang amusement flitting across his face. "you always were a weakness of sorts."

"i am not." you'd glared, though your stomach flipped and heat curled at your cheeks. surely he did not believe such drivel. you said, "i never was, and i doubt that will change just because i am his spouse."

yeosang raised a brow at you. still he shrugged, clearly not bothering to inquire further. he said, "let's say you are not a weakness. you'll still be one of the most protected, most beloved, and most targeted people in the seven kingdoms."

that brought you pause. "targeted?"

"not many have love for a mad king with a penchant for burning anyone he disagrees with at the stake. the monarchy has always been a target, but, nowadays, i'd say the king's paranoia may come from a place of truth."

"and you've...known this?"

"i am in his kingsguard," yeosang said, as if it should be quite obvious to you. "i know of every threat, real or perceived."

"yes," you'd pressed, raising a brow, "but your father is the hand."

"my father does not tell me much."

"right." you bit out, rolling your eyes at his evasiveness.

yeosang laughed, but his eyes were dark, calculating, the expression of the kangs through and through. he shook his head, still, as he murmured, "rest assured that i never imagined hongjoong would put you in this position. especially with the queen - we'd all agreed you were much too sweet to play these games."

"yet, the moment i stepped onto the shores of king's landing, i've been entangled in them."

"blame your father for that."

you do. you do blame your father, and that was the worst of it.

you grit your teeth, said, "i do not need you all deciding such things on my behalf. i can decide on my own."

"i must admit, that is what concerns me most. your decisions have landed you in terrible situations with terrible enemies."

you glared at him and the clear jab at your intelligence. yeosang only smiled, and raised his hands in the air, mocking a placating gesture.

you'd continued glaring, even as you shouldered your way in to your chambers without giving him another glance nor word. he did not deserve such kindness. not when he hadn't bothered to answer your question properly in the first place, and only left you with more to think about.

~.~.~.~.~

guests began to arrive in small groups over the course of the next few days, and the servants of the red keep were left scrambling. your lessons were even cancelled in preparation for the wedding. you hadn't seen the king, his small council, or even hongjoong since that night.

when you'd told him he'd cost you your freedom, he'd grit his teeth and turned away. he'd left you in the empty throne room with the rotting flesh of his dead brother still lingering, his departing footsteps echoing all around, and you'd stared at his retreating back, at yeosang meeting your gaze over his shoulder even as he trailed after hongjoong.

hongjoong always had a response. he always returned your words with vitriol or amusement of his own. yet tonight, the throne room doors were flung open, and they remained open, because the servants and guards of the red keep did not consider your status high enough to wait on, not when the king has already dismissed the room and the prince has left, and you were left alone, your heart in your throat and your palms sweaty and your knees shaky. you held your breath as you left the throne room, as you trailed through the halls of the red keep you regrettably knew better than the halls of your home in sunspear, steadying yourself against the cold stone walls as you walked through the silent halls. you'd entered your chambers, ignoring the bowed head of one of the kingsguard that remained stationed by your door - an action of either the king or hongjoong that you did not wish to dwell on the implications behind - and even as you shut the door behind you and trailed into your chambers, you were too shocked to sob the way you knew you should have. you only slipped from your robes, and rubbed perfume oil in your palms until they were slippery and the scent of musk and roses invaded all your senses. you tried to mask the scent of rotting flesh still lingering in your nose, but you could still smell it. you believed you'd never forget it - that it would haunt you, a lasting memory of the king and queen's late son. you merely laid in your bed until the sun poured through the grates of your window, and stared at the ceiling you'd long memorized.

since that night, you'd only seen yeosang on the few occasions where he was one of the kingsguard asked to escort you back to your chambers.

you did not see mingi until days before the wedding, when the doors to the library creaked open, and mingi stuck his head in, his wide smile dragging out a smile of your own.

he sauntered into the library, his armor clinking as he walked, and he took a seat across from you, watching as you closed the book documenting wild plants you'd been engrossed in. you'd decided a few days ago, somewhere between the way your maids fell silent when you entered your chambers to bathe and your septa suggesting you go to the godswood and pray instead of lounging about in the library or your chambers, that since you knew nothing, you'd make it a point to learn everything. so you spent too many hours reading of the geography around king's landing. your septa scoffed at you every morning, leaving you alone in the library. you read of the wild plants of each of the kingdoms. even accounts of the plants that grew outside of westeros. you read anything and everything that gave you information about something outside of king's landing. perhaps, you hoped you could leave. one day. perhaps, you could go to the godswood and pray to every god who wanted to listen; you were certainly starting to become restless enough for such an absurd thing.

"doing some light reading?" he asked, eyeing the cover with a raised brow.

you'd shrugged, and mingi only nodded. he did not tend to push, and you were glad for it.

you said, "to what do i owe the pleasure, ser mingi?"

mingi's laugh was a sweet, loud, boisterous thing that filled the quiet library. one of the maesters that spent his time organizing the library shushed you both from the other side of the room. mingi giggled. you could not help but join.

he sobered up much too quickly. you watched as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. he said, deep voice soft, "san asked me to find you."

you'd blinked, "he's here?"

"he arrived this morning," mingi said. "i left him in the courtyard."

you'd nodded, frowning at your fingers. you wrung your hands together. suddenly, you were nervous. you had not done anything wrong. you did not get a choice in the matter, in fact, yet you the nerves curled at the pit of your stomach.

mingi cleared his throat, "you do not need to see him yet. if you do not wish to."

you looked up at mingi. no one ever cared what you wished for. his expression held a sincerity you had not seen since sunspear, since yunho and wooyoung and your parents and -

"i do," you said, shaking away the loudness of your thoughts.

mingi only nodded as he rose from his seat, and held a hand out to you. you took it.

in the quiet halls, empty due to all the servants being busy with wedding preparations, mingi asked, "may i speak candidly?"

you'd frowned up at him, "you never need to ask, ser mingi."

mingi smiled, shaking his head, as he said, "i am sorry, y/n. you deserve more than you've been given."

you smiled as best as you could, despite the nerves, "it's all right. at least marrying the heir means i have the kingsguard to protect me?"

"the kingsguard only protects the king." mingi shook his head, and you detected a hint of pain in his tone, his eyes falling to his boots as he said, "still you have me, and yeosang. we're not much, but hongjoong listens to us."

you'd frowned at his words but before you could respond, you'd both arrived at the edge of the courtyard.

"mingi?" you murmured, worried by his stiff shoulders, watching as he bowed.

he shook his head, gesturing towards the courtyard, "lord san is waiting."

you did not push, as he would not have. instead, you'd nodded, and took the steps down into the courtyard, glancing back to watch mingi turn away back into the halls. with every conversation and interaction, you only worried further of your fate, and you despised king's landing - hongjoong - for it.

~.~.~.~.~

you found san where you always did, deep in the courtyard observing the flowers in bloom. this time, he peered at a white, almost translucent flower that grew in spirals along the stem.

the sun sat high in the sky, but the air was crisp. cold even. it left san with reddened ears and flushed cheeks. he still wore his riding boots. he must have been too busy to rest in his chambers after he arrived. san turned his gaze from the flower in front of him to you. his kind eyes were a gentle thing, one you'd come to miss over the stretches of time without him in the red keep.

his dimpled smile made your chest ache. the same ache that you felt when you thought of sunspear. when you thought of yeosang telling you that soon you'd have lived more name-days outside of dorne than in.

san held a hand out to you, and you took it, and his fingers were cold. they were not warm. when you looked at him, you only felt loss. perhaps, you'd invested too much into san. he warned you often that he didn't think the king would approve. you were naïve and you held onto hope, but were you so awful to do such a thing? were you in the wrong to see hope in another? to invest in it, even a little?

san held your hand in both his, and he rubbed it between his palms. you chewed the inside of your mouth before you said, "you're cold."

"so are you," his smile was always kind. you wanted to believe kindness was enough, but perhaps hongjoong truly was correct.

you looked from your intertwined hands to san's face. he met your gaze, and he held it as you finally asked, "what did your father tell you?"

san smiled. he let go of your hands, and he gestured to the bench off to the side. you both took a seat, the two of you turning to face each other. san rested an elbow on the back of the bench as he rested his chin on his knuckles.

"that the king refused to bless our betrothal," san's smile fell from his face, his kind eyes hardening, "and that he insinuated that house choi is conspiring against him."

you'd nodded, said, "i fear what he would have done to you if you were there."

"i heard what he said," san frowned, and for the first time you see a hint of fury in his eyes. you'd never understood the choi's house words, ours is the fury, until that very moment. you did not think the chois capable of fury. lord choi was always polite and calm, and san? well you did not think him capable of anger, let alone fury. you felt fury often, a byproduct of your gilded cage, and you could not imagine san displaying such unbridled anger.

yet here san sat, jaw clenched, barely restrained. it reminded you of late nights when you'd stare at your sharpened hair combs, and imagine despicable things. it made you frown, even as san continued, "hongjoong informed me of his father's threats. he also told me that the king wished to wed you to the corpse of a babe."

your frown deepened. a part of you had hoped san would not hear that detail. you did not want pity from him now, after all this time without it.

san's brows furrowed, and the fury lessened a bit as he smiled slightly, "hongjoong countered the king with his own proposal."

"you spoke to hongjoong?"

it was all you could say. you still did not know how to articulate how you felt about hongjoong's proposal, his stepping in when he did, and your subsequent betrothal. san studied you for a long moment, before he explained, "he spoke to me. the night of."

your eyes widened.

san sighed, "he rode to storm's end on his dragon. nearly jumped out of my skin at the sight. and...and he commanded me not to tell anyone."

"oh," you blinked, "should you be telling me this then?"

"i thought knowing he...that he worries like the rest of us would ease your nerves," san murmured. "hongjoong won't hurt you, y/n."

"i don't -"

"he told me you found him terrifying," san cut you off with a raised brow. "that you thought he'd be worse than his father."

you'd glared, "i didn't mean it. i was only...i wasn't..."

you'd trailed off, and san pressed a hand to yours, and he said, "it's okay to mean it. it's okay to be scared. you are not weak for it."

you let him hold your hand as you slumped against the bench and took in his words. he was right. that was a constant with san, that he was often right and you could never dispute his logic because of it. you muttered, "i knew you were too good to be true."

san let out a small laugh. he said, "i tried to prepare for this. for the king to reject our union, but i..."

he sighed, shaking his head.

"hoped?" you said with a laugh of your own. it fell flat, even to your own ears.

still, san smiled as he fiddled with your fingers between his, his hands warm, "too much, i fear."

"my septa would say we did not pray to the gods enough."

san let out a breathless laugh, one you were glad to let settle in your memories. san lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss.

he said, "i will miss you."

the worst of it, you knew, was that you'd see him at court for the rest of your lives. in hindsight, he would always be there, but missing someone did not always mean distance. when hongjoong ascended the throne, san would take his father's place in hongjoong's small council. lord choi san of storm's end. you would see each other often then, and you'd wonder of what could have been, and he would come to pity you eventually, you knew, because hongjoong would rather have you visit the caricatures of sunspear in the depths of king's landing then take you there himself. hongjoong could very well keep you in this gilded cage and watch you rot. perhaps that is what scared you most about hongjoong. that he could decide your fate however he saw fit, just as his father could. hongjoong would sit on his throne, and you would sit tucked away in your chambers, and every time you passed san during feasts or in the halls or at dinner when he visited his friends you would wonder of what could have been. you knew it. and you could tell san knew it too as he looked at you with sorrowful eyes. you did not want to lose hope in the idea of setting foot in sunspear once more, but perhaps that was how it was meant to be.

you reached up and pressed your thumb to san's cheek. he let you, merely watching as you studied him.

you said, "whenever you visit, i will be here."

it was meant to be reassuring, but san pursed his lips, and the fury in his eyes was a sharp thing. a painful thing, really.

"i know," san closed his eyes, "and i am sorry for it."

"do not pity me." you told him, squeezing the hand he had in yours even as you pressed a finger under san's jaw, urging him to open his eyes and meet your gaze. he did, his eyes soft. kind. "swear to me you will not pity me. you will do as you always would, and we will not grieve for what could have been. swear it."

he searched your eyes for a long moment. it made the hairs at the back of your neck stand on end when he said, "are you certain?"

you nodded.

his eyes glistened, and you wanted to ask why but you did not. like with mingi, you did not wish to push. you did not wish to know, truly. you only nodded and nodded, fingers still resting under san's jaw, and san's voice was a soft thing, like an evening breeze, like the sound of your mother's voice when she called to you and wooyoung and yunho to come to her side, like the gentleness that exuded from yunho's very-being, like all the kindness you'd ever known in sunspear. all the kindness you'd known here wrapped gently into san's voice, his touch, his sad eyes, as he said, "i swear it."

you thought you'd been helping him, when you asked such a thing of him. you believed you were saving yourself grief.

you were not.

you pressed a kiss to his cheek, as chaste as the one he pressed to your hand, and as you leaned away he repeated, softer than ever, a whisper almost, "i swear it, y/n."

~.~.~.~.~

two days before the wedding, hongjoong leaned against the door to the library.

for a moment, you'd felt embarrassed at the sight of yourself with books and maps sprawled around you. you'd pushed two tables together with the help of the library's maester, who eyed you with resignation despite doing all you'd asked without complaint as he may have once before, and you had books stacked atop each other, a map of westeros and essos laid out in front of you. the map of essos was incomplete, and you'd fixated on perusing through books to determine the geography of essos on your own. clearly a terribly grandiose goal judging from the way the maester had raised a brow when you'd told him. still he merely disappeared and left you to your own devices. you could tell that he held a modicum of pity for you. at least it was either pity, or he believed you were succumbing to madness. you certainly felt as if you were succumbing to madness as the wedding drew closer. you barely slept and you tried to ignore the feeling of impending doom growing in your chest.

hongjoong merely remained propped against the entrance to the library, his arms folded over his chest, his silver-blond hair tied up. he certainly appeared more presentable than you did. his dark eyes remained fixed upon you, and for a moment you remained frozen. moments passed between you both, before you returned your attention to the map in front of you, ignoring the heat of embarrassment and his eyes still clearly fixed on the top of your head.

after a beat, hongjoong said, "y/n."

you only hummed, flipping through the book in front of you without quite seeing it. your heart raced against your ribs, and you did not wish to speak to hongjoong. you'd prefer if you never had to speak to him again, but at least for now you did not want to see him until you stood at the horrible altar.

another beat.

"y/n," he repeated, though this time his tone was laced with irritation. he said, "come to the dining hall."

you looked up at him once more, careful to avoid his dark gaze, frowning, "i am not hungry."

"that was not a request," hongjoong said, tone firm. his eyes narrowed slightly, but he still remained leaning against the door, still watching you, his gaze flitting over the books and maps in front of you.

your frown deepened as hongjoong quirked a brow at you.

"well? must i repeat myself, dearly betrothed?"

you grimaced at the mocking condescension dripping from his words, but you knew that despite everything he was still the heir, and you had to listen to him eventually. truly, you were in no mood to argue anyway.

you slammed the book shut in front of you. he merely watched as you stood, the chair creaking as it teetered on its hind legs. you grabbed it, pushing it in, and you snapped, "fine. happy?"

he did not respond to your lack of formalities, only rolled his eyes and spun on his heels.

he walked out of the library, the door slamming shut behind him. the resounding thud made your heart jump.

still, you followed after him. he only waited a moment for you to exit the library before he started walking. his robes swished in front of you, and his pace was a brutal thing you did not bother to keep up with. the silence between you both was an icy thing you were not planning on breaking first. you were angry with hongjoong. you would always be angry with him. you wanted -

he came to a sudden halt, steps from the dining hall. his robes fluttered around him as he turned to look you over for a long moment. his hard expression softened enough for you to frown, glancing at the dining hall as you did so. he replied, as if he could read the anxiety in your expression, "there's something for you in there. i suggest you attempt a smile, at the very least." he paused, "and you may thank me later."

you'd scowled at him, even as he spun, and opened the door. you'd never seen him open his own doors. wherever he went, he was announced, with fanfare and servants opening doors for him.

he swung the door open and stepped aside for you to enter first. you frowned at him, nervous. it was not customary for anyone to enter a room before a member of the royal family, but perhaps you'd have to get used to this since you would take on the kim banners in a few days' time.

he sighed, before he reached over and pressed a hand to the middle of your back. you jolted forward, away from his touch.

you entered the dining hall first.

you -

"oh, my love," her voice was unfamiliar. that thought would remain a heavy burden on your shoulders long after that moment passed. the way you did not recognize them for a long, long second. the unfamiliarity, despite the heaviness settling in your heart. seated at the dining table where you would usually sit with hongjoong, yeosang, mingi, and, on occasion, san, sat your mother, and where her hair was once full of color, it was now peppered gray. her skin was not so smooth, and her smile not so bright, and her beauty was dulled by an ancient sadness you understood all too well. your heart stopped when she whispered, "how you've grown."

you'd blinked. once, twice, three times, until it clicked.

until you felt your knees buckle beneath the weight of your realization, and you reached for the back of the dining chair. a hand touched the middle of your back. a light touch, barely there, and you looked over your shoulder at hongjoong, in disbelief. why would he...? his expression remained blank, unwavering.

oh.

you turned back to her.

your mother.

oh gods, it was your -

"mother, look again. if anything, they've gotten shorter," a deeper voice interrupted, and you tore your eyes from her, to the table, and you'd admonished yourself briefly for losing your composure in such a way. your vision tunneled onto your mother. you hadn't even considered -

your stomach flipped and your heart clenched and there was nothing keeping you upright aside from your grip on the chair in front of you. hongjoong's hand was gone, and you almost hoped for it back. almost.

your thoughts were blank as you stared and stared, and despite the unfamiliarity of the voice, you only needed to take a single glance to know. you were afraid you would not recognize them, that the years would take even that from you, and in many ways it had, but you still somehow knew.

two boys sat on either side of your mother, both with dark hair and skin kissed by the sun, but one was short and all angles and muscles, and the other tall even seated, all sinewy limbs and an aura of grace he never had before. they both held their heads high with a confidence that was only budding when you left sunspear. no longer were they boys made of gangly limbs. no longer could you pretend that the poor memories you had of them were accurate. it would never be accurate, and your memories were just distant things. still, despite that, they were not strangers. you knew them instantly, and you always would, and as they looked at you you found deep comfort in that revelation.

wooyoung was short and stocky, and the mischief in his expression still lingered, though it remained as a subtle undercurrent. a warning even. wooyoung's dark hair was longer - to his shoulders - and tied back into a knot, and you could still see the boy you remembered him as, in his small smile, and his eyes, and the way he fiddled with the sleeve of his robe as he looked at you. but the boy you remembered and the boy in front of you were too different. your head hurt at the thought of having to reconcile such a thing.

it was the same for yunho. his face still held the softness you remembered, but his eyes were hardened, and the kindness in his eyes were guarded. he held his chin up the way mingi did when he drew his swords, and the boy you knew long ago would not have dared swat at a fly, let alone raise a sword, but yunho's hand rests on the hilt of his sword as he smiles, and his eyes are wary as they flicker over your shoulder. still, his smile was a soft thing, a gentle thing, and it made your chest ache.

you stood there, gripping the chair in front of you as you committed the sight of them to your memories, and they looked at you as if they were doing the same. the ache in your chest worsened as you did so, and you knew this was a happy moment, a moment of celebration really, but you could not help but mourn the years you missed. the thought of missing all these years hurt more than your memories of them or the shallow letters or the way you imagined them every name-day, growing alongside you. your brothers grew up without you, and you without them, and that would always leave a hole. but, by the gods, how you've missed them. you felt, for the first time, as if you could breathe again. as if you were going to be all right, somehow, someway.

"it appears i am taller than you though," you said to wooyoung - the very thought that this was wooyoung before you in the flesh, that this was yunho, and your mother made you giddy and terrified all at once. to your horror, your voice crumbled halfway through your sentence. you choked back your sob, biting down on your lips.

still, wooyoung's small smile widened, and it was the same as when he was a boy. his eyes shone bright, teary almost. you bit down harder on your bottom lip, until you could taste blood. you refused to allow hongjoong to witness your vulnerability. certainly not when he was the one to arrange this.

there was another long beat of silence, drawn out and tense, a heavier burden on your shoulders really.

hongjoong was the one to break the silence. his voice echoed behind you, "i must take my leave. i will return shortly with lord jeong."

you turned to meet his gaze. he should not leave, as you doubted the king would be happy with his son leaving his dornish guests to conspire with his ward, but hongjoong merely dipped his head in a strange moment of acknowledgement, his brows furrowed slightly as he turned on his heels. the doors shut behind him, and you stared after him for a moment before you returned your attention to your family. only then had you registered hongjoong's words.

lord jeong.

your father was also here. that brought another wave emotions, and you did not know if you dreaded that meeting or not.

you looked at yunho, and your hands still shook, but you managed to keep your voice steady as you said, "you haven't grown either. not one bit."

it is strange how your family could be so familiar, yet so different.

yunho let out the smallest of laughs. it bubbled up from his lips, but his eyes were soft, kind.

then the sound of chairs scraping across the stone floor echoed through the dining hall, a chorus of scrapes, a chorus of movement. your grip on the chair in front of you grew tighter as they stood. as they drew closer. as it registered just how real this moment was.

your mother gathered you into her arms, and she cupped your cheeks, and dragged her hands along every part of you she could reach, her eyes searching your face, and she fussed, "you're so cold, my child. all these years, and you've refused to listen to my advice as well." she stroked your cheek, murmured, "kingdoms apart, yet stubborn just like your brothers."

and you tried to laugh, but it quickly turned into a broken sob that you could no longer suppress. you did not have to, with hongjoong gone and you alone with you family. you pressed your face into the crook of your mother's neck. you used to do it so often before, but you did not think it possible to miss a gesture as small as this. but you found yourself burying your face in the crook of your mother's neck, your chest tight as you tried and failed to breathe through your sob. you cried, and your chest hurt with the weight of it, and the sound tore through the quiet dining hall.

your mother pressed her palms to your face as she leaned away, tears in her eyes as she sniffled, and she studied you as if she would never see you again. you did not want to dwell on the thought. not when wooyoung tackled you into an embrace as soon as your mother let go.

no headlocks or childhood roughness, merely him reaching over and clinging to you, a small sniffle reaching your ears. you sensed the hesitation, the slight awkwardness, and you resented it. the years created a gap neither of you were sure how to navigate through. it made this worse somehow. you blinked away another onslaught of tears, if only to see him clearly and commit him to memory as he deserved. he tried to step away after a moment, but you clung to him, and he giggled, rocking you side to side. he cupped your cheek and brushed at your tears, and you looked over his shoulder, and met yunho's gaze then. the softness there was as you remembered, and this time the tears fell freely as you let go of wooyoung and reached for yunho. his embrace was as warm and kind as you remembered it. it was a warmth and kindness you'd missed dearly in king's landing. he held you as your mother did, as wooyoung did, as if you would disappear at any moment, and the sound of yunho and wooyoung and your mother crying burrowed itself in your heart.

as you embraced your family, and laughed through another onslaught of tears as you furiously wiped at them, you found yourself despising hongjoong for this. he wanted you to thank him, but were you truly thankful for this knowing that your family would have to go back to sunspear and you would not be able to go with them. were you truly thankful knowing that hongjoong, or the king, could have allowed this whenever they wished? you did not know when you'd see them once more. you did not know when they'd be allowed to visit you again. as you took a seat at the dining table, and your mother, wooyoung, and yunho drew their chairs close to you, as your mother squeezed your hand and refused to let go and wooyoung pushed all kinds of food onto your plate, and yunho wiped at his tears with the back of his hands, his expression hardening once more, you found you would have been more content with never seeing them again than having to lose them once more after this.

~.~.~.~.~

hours later, your mother was called away to speak to the queen. hongjoong had not returned. in that moment, you were completely alone with your brothers. you wondered, briefly, what the king would do if he learned of this. you were never truly left alone in all your time as the king's ward, and now you were alone with the two people you're sure the king despised more than your father.

yunho reached across the table, over the half-empty glasses of sunspear-grown wine and untouched fruits on your plate - you were too busy asking a thousand questions so you could somehow fill the years you'd missed to eat much. yunho answered with smiles while wooyoung recounted all kinds of stories, his loud laugh bounding off the walls and ceilings, and your mother merely sat with her chin rested on her palm and a fondness in her glittering eyes as she watched her children - and he pressed a finger to the scar on your arm. the burn.

you'd blinked, frowning at yunho's frown. yunho leaned back on his chair.

you explained, without much prompt, "remember when i first arrived here and wrote of dragons?" you brushed your fingers along the scar, "that was the night i got this."

wooyoung's brows furrowed. he leaned over, brushing a thumb over the rough skin of the scar. he looked up at yunho briefly, before his gaze flit to meet yours. there was anger there, the kind you used to see from him over petty childish things. before, it never bothered you, but now it felt as if it wasn't for anything petty, or childish, and it made you drop your hands to your lap as you pulled your sleeve over the scar. you looked to yunho, however his gaze was a contemplative thing, though there was a hint of anger there you've never known yunho capable of. it reminded you of san, and a part of you lamented that thought. san should have reminded you of yunho, but your time with yunho was stolen from you, and now yunho and wooyoung were reminders. you turned back to wooyoung, and he sighed, "you never mentioned it."

"i didn't want anyone to know i'd snuck into the dragonpit. if i wrote you of the incident, the entire small council would have known.

wooyoung sighed once more, a heavy thing, his shoulders slumping. the implication was clear, but you all knew your letters were being read.

after a moment, a hint of a smile tugged at his lips, his eyes twinkling. he said, "you thought sneaking in would be the best way to see dragons?"

you laughed, "how else would a ward see dragons?"

"you could have just asked," yunho mumbled.

you frowned. wooyoung rolled his eyes, "that is boring."

you laughed when yunho tossed a grape at wooyoung. it felt nice to laugh, and that thought alone was enough to sober you. you fiddled with your fingers in your lap, and the hall went quiet once more. you said, "why did neither of you visit as you promised?"

it's a childish question. you doubted the king would have let them step foot into the red keep without a viable reason. and you were not a viable reason.

but they never tried. they never tried, and you needed someone or something to be angry about.

you scowled half-heartedly at both of them.

"we wanted to," yunho spoke gently, but there was an exhaustion to his gaze.

"but you didn't try, and here i am," your voice rang through the dining hall, echoing. you gestured around you. "caged, alone, and set to wed the son of a mad king."

"it will be better than being a ward," wooyoung's voice was a low thing, hesitant, but firm.

you looked to him, eyes wide. you could not even find anger in you at his words. wooyoung did not know. he did not reside at court. you did not write him detailed letters because of lord kang's spying. how could wooyoung possibly know of your true worries? your fears? still, you asked, "how can you be so sure of that? how can you be sure that wedding the prince would be better than - than being a ward?"

there was a pause. you watched as wooyoung and yunho exchanged a look you could not read.

then wooyoung leaned close, his voice dropping into a whisper only you and yunho could hear. his eyes flickered between yours, searching, his jaw set, and his gaze was a sharp thing. he murmured, "is there a reason why you...why i should not be sure that your status will keep you safe?" wooyoung reached out and pressed a hand over yours, his voice soft, "has the prince hurt you, y/n?"

his tone held an edge to it you'd never heard from him before. something that hovered the way a sword would before a strike. it made you feel safe, strangely, in a way you hadn't felt in a while. no one here ever asked such questions - san, in all his wisdom, only ever provided you solutions, and you figured that was because comfort like this was meant for the pitied, and san did not pity you. perhaps, wooyoung and yunho did, but with wooyoung and yunho, it did not feel pathetic the way pity from strangers did. it felt like concern and care, and it warmed your heart and calmed your worries more than you'd ever admit aloud to them.

yet, you found yourself shaking your head. perhaps, you found hongjoong irritating and terrifying. perhaps, hongjoong despised you. but he never really hurt you. the one time in the hall, you'd choked him first. you've both said horrible things to each other. as the prince and heir to the iron throne, he wielded more power over you than you him. but he stepped in on your behalf. he saved you from that dragon years ago. san said he would not hurt you. in fact, hongjoong's never really hurt you. "he's never hurt me."

not yet, at least. the thought made your chest tighten.

it was as if your brothers could hear your thoughts. as if they knew the not yet lingering over your heads and at the tip of your tongue. that it was very much a possibility. it always would be. that was the world of kings and heirs.

wooyoung's hand tightened around your fingers. yunho's voice, however, was gentle despite his words.

"if prince hongjoong ever devolves into madness," yunho's voice rang in your ears, settled under your skin, and it made your eyes fill with tears, "we will come for you. i will bring you home, y/n."

you'd blinked through your tears at him. you did not want to dwell on the implication that you would not return otherwise. how could the heir's spouse ever reside in sunspear anyway? your voice sounded small, even to your own ears, "will you really?

yunho nodded, pressing a heavy hand to your shoulder, the warmth of his hand a gentle reminder of how cold king's landing truly was, and he said, "i swear it."

"on the gods," wooyoung let go of you and pressed a fruit to his lips his wet eyes full of a fire that reminded you of the sunset, "old and new, dead and alive. every single fucking one of them."

"i expect you both to keep that promise, then," you said, your laugh and joke falling flat.

still, yunho laughed even as he wiped at his wet cheeks with the back of his hand, snatching fruit from your untouched plate, and wooyoung drank more wine. before either of you could say another word, the doors to the dining hall opened, and your mother and father entered the hall, hongjoong leading the way. he met your gaze for a brief moment, brows furrowing as his gaze lingered, before he looked at your brothers. you glanced at them, and wooyoung had his eyes narrowed, while yunho's smile remained cold and polite.

hongjoong merely gestured at the dining hall doors.

"the king and queen wishes for me to escort you to the guest quarters," hongjoong said. "i hope your meal was to your liking."

yunho nodded briskly.

wooyoung only shrugged, his eyes narrowed, "it could have been better, your grace."

your mother threw wooyoung and yunho a sharp look, even as she said, "don't mind him. he tends to get cranky after long hours of sea travel. it was wonderful, your grace."

hongjoong's brows were furrowed in disbelief, and wooyoung snorted while yunho suppressed a small smile. your mother glared at them both.

your gaze flickered to the man that entered the room, however. your father. lord jeong.

he met your gaze over hongjoong's head, and you could pick out the pieces of him you often glimpsed in your mirrors and reflections. your chin. your ears. the pieces of him you saw in your brothers. eyes. height. hair. yunho's smile. wooyoung's nose.

you often would replay your last moments with him aboard the ship from sunspear to king's landing. the way he kneeled before you. the way he clasped his hands over yours.

your mother turned to hongjoong then, gesturing for him to join your brothers' side. they spoke quietly, clearly giving you and your father privacy, however hongjoong glanced your way anyway. wooyoung said something to him that made hongjoong's head snap to the side and his brows raise. your mother pinched wooyoung's back, something you only noticed from your angle, hidden from hongjoong's view, and wooyoung snickered at her, the sound reverberating off the high ceiling of the dining hall. wooyoung still bowed his head, his mouth moving. yunho spoke over him.

your father stepped fully into your view then, and you turned your attention to him. you shook the memories you had of him away. you'd replayed those moments so often, the grew into nightmares. sometimes your father would burst into flames, either by dragonfire or by the king's green fire he used to execute anyone disloyal. other times he would turn into the mad king, with claws for fingernails and a dripping grin and a chilling laugh.

"my child," your father's voice held a tremor of emotion you did not wish to pinpoint, "my y/n."

you'd blinked at him, at his words. my y/n. if you were his, then why had he let you go? why did he exchange your freedom for politics? perhaps, such an act would have been excusable if he'd only prepared you for king's landing, yet he hadn't even bothered doing that.

the anger curled at the pit of your stomach. it was always there, always gnawing at your insides like a hungry beast. like hongjoong's dragon when you'd seen it feast on animal carcasses from afar, too scared to step into the dragonpit since that night with the mad king and his council.

lord jeong's smile was dejected, "it has been too long."

"it has," was all you could say, watching him as your stomach churned.

"i do not enjoy when one of my children resents me," he sighed, shaking his head. his smile remained, however.

you frowned, "i do not resent you, father."

that was not true.

"that is not true," lord jeong chuckled. "we may have spent a long time apart, but you are still my child. more so than your mother hoped, judging from the accounts i've heard of your time here. i know you well. i expected there would be resentment in your heart when we met again, but how i wished it would not be so."

"how can i not resent you?" the admission alone made your chest feel tight, especially when your father leaned his head back to blink rapidly at the sky, as if he were lamenting the gods. you should be happy to see him. you knew that as a child of the prince of dorne, you had duties to fulfil, and this was one of them. you should not resent him, yet you did. you always would. he was your father, yet he had not been your father. and that only fueled the terrible gnawing beast at the pit of your stomach. you said, "you sent me here with nothing to fend myself with."

"i know," your father held out a hand, and you allowed him to take yours. you could not refuse it, despite everything. he kneeled in front of you, clasping your hands in his, just as he did on that ship. you were much taller now, or perhaps his back has grown more curved with old age, and you towered over him in a way you hadn't before. lost time shows itself in the smallest of gestures. this was one of them.

you tugged at his hands. he let you tug him to his feet. still, his knights that had followed him into the dining hall averted their gazes at the sight. everything was the same, yet it was so utterly different. you were someone else entirely this time, and your father was barely a father, and your brothers looked on with melancholic eyes, and your mother turned her back to the sight, and hongjoong merely frowned. hongjoong was not there before, and you did not like that he was here now. watching. seeing you. you felt as if he could see the monstrous anger at the pit of your stomach, that he would add this moment as yet another mental tally to his list of reasons why he believed you were just like him.

"i am sorry, y/n," lord jeong, the prince of dorne, your aging father, said, "will you allow me a chance to amend this?"

it tugged at your heartstrings, but you both knew that no matter how hard he tried, you were here now and you were set to marry prince hongjoong, heir to the iron throne. yunho would be the next prince of dorne, and dorne would be tied to westeros in both vows and blood. you hadn't been to sunspear since you were four-and-ten, and you would likely never return. once upon a time, you would have believed your father could do anything, as all children did. but you were no longer four-and-ten, and a worshipper to any of the gods, whether they were old or new or your parents. at twenty, you knew your father could never amend something so broken.

your voice came out too sharp, too bitter, "it's too late to amend this. not without..."

you sighed, trailing off, and your father finished, his eyes bright, "war."

you shook your head, said, "that is not worth it."

for a moment, your father merely met your gaze. you could not read his expression. after a moment, he said, "perhaps not."

"just tell me this," you asked, "do you regret it?"

"as a ruler? no," your father's voice was quiet as it rang between you both, "but as a father? every single day."

perhaps your father would have waged war to amend this, but lord jeong would never, and you both knew it.

so, you only nodded, and gestured towards the doors to the dining hall, where hongjoong, wooyoung, yunho, and your mother waited. your father left with them, and though your resentment for him did not grow any smaller, you understood.

with that, however, you were left alone. you were always left alone.

~.~.~.~.~

it took you a moment to gather yourself, but as you stepped out of the empty dining hall, the servants rushing around you to clean up, you were met with an unexpected face outside the dining hall, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned heavily against the stone walls.

you blinked in surprise. yeosang stood straight as he bowed his head and announced, "i was asked to escort you back to your chambers, my liege."

you wished to deny him, but the only people who would ask yeosang of such a thing were not the deniable types.

besides, his tone did not hold its usual teasing lilt. though his smile was a lopsided thing, one you feared had become a permanent fixture upon his features. you wondered often if he knew how to look genuine. it'd suit his pretty features.

still, you simply nodded, shaking the last remnants of your vulnerability away. you should not allow such a thing to happen again, you knew. you strode past him, and yeosang did not say a word. he merely stayed in step behind you, the sounds of both your footsteps and the light clinks of his armor echoing along the halls. the only breaks in the silence was the occasional greetings from other members of the court or servants. they used to ignore you, but you refused to dwell on the reasons behind the sudden interest.

your wing of the red keep was always quiet. even the decorations were less grandiose. it was another way for the kims to remind you of your place, no doubt, but you found you'd miss it. surely, you would move into hongjoong's wing after all this, and that thought alone made your stomach churn with anxiety.

you pressed a palm to the door to your chambers, but the anxious twist in your stomach only grew. you hated that feeling, more than anything. in that moment, all you wanted was to flee. you wanted to return to sunspear and lay under the sun and -

"what would you do if i tried to leave?" you spun to face yeosang, your heart racing at the thought. you doubted you would be able to get far - the kims had dragons and the entire city watch at their disposal and your maps would be difficult to apply outside the library when you had no real idea of the layout or terrain of king's landing or the land outside of the city.

"leave?" yeosang tilted his head, his dark eyes alight with curiosity and another emotion you could not pinpoint. you did not wish to decipher it, in fact. you were tired of maintaining hyperawareness of the body language of those around you.

"run away. flee. leave the red keep," you studied him for a long moment, but he remained unreadable, "i've memorized half the maps in the library, you know."

yeosang nodded slowly. he said, "as a member of the kingsguard, i'd have to stop you."

you frowned at his specification. you raised a brow, crossing your arms, "but as kang yeosang?"

"i would like to see how you leaving plays out," he said with a snort, and a twinkle of that teasing kang amusement he always carried.

"oh," you nodded. you were not sure what answer you expected, but you certainly did not expect such honesty regarding yeosang's penchant for games. but did yeosang ever lie to you about such things? you should not have expected anything else.

"as yeosang, however," yeosang continued, "i'd wonder why you hadn't attempted to flee any sooner. mingi mentioned the maps and botany books."

you blinked in surprise at him, "he told you?"

"why wouldn't he?"

you crossed your arms over your chest, ignoring the question and instead opting for your next curiosity, "is there a distinction? between kang yeosang and yeosang?"

yeosang rolled his eyes, "at court, there always is."

you frowned. your father had made such a distinction moments ago, as prince of dorne and as your father. begrudgingly enough, yeosang was right.

yeosang said, "are you getting cold feet?"

at that, you rolled your eyes, "that is one way to describe it."

"you know," yeosang smiled, shifting from foot-to-foot, his armor clinking with each shift, "i spent the morning with the prince while he gave your brothers a tour of the red keep. i must admit, it was quite enlightening." yeosang gave you a critical once-over that made you scowl, even as he said, "here i thought your attitude was an outlier. wooyoung may be even bolder than you, my liege."

the thought of yeosang and hongjoong spending an entire morning with yunho and wooyoung made you grimace. you could only imagine what was exchanged between them. you probed, "you spoke to them?"

"quite a bit about many things," yeosang snorted, his eyes growing distant for a moment, "sparred even."

your frown deepened at that. you hadn't seen any bruises on your brothers or hongjoong during lunch. you said, "i should hope you lost."

a bubble of laughter spilled from yeosang's lips. it was a genuine thing, loud and encompassing, echoing off the walls and filling the quiet of your halls in a way it hadn't seen since you first stepped into your wing of the red keep. yeosang shook his head, said, "praying on my downfall, are you?"

you could not help the smile at his laugh. it was a contagious thing, and it was new. it was nice. you were right in thinking that genuineness suited yeosang. still, he was a kang, and he'd always be a kang. and, after that, he was hongjoong's kingsguard and best friend. you said, "i would never."

"your brothers asked after your lessons, so we took them through the motions of your day," yeosang gazed flickered over yours, eyes searching, and all the mischief gone. all that was left was a look that felt as if he could see right through you and into your head. he murmured, "they love you quite a bit, don't they?"

"as i do them," you bristled slightly at his tone. "you don't appear too happy about that."

yeosang let out a small, humorless laugh. you found it jarring compared to the belly-ache of a laugh he let out earlier.

"surely you understand why."

you only stared at him. his smile fell.

he said, "wars have been started for less, y/n. much, much less."

~.~.~.~.~

the morning of your wedding, your septa and the maids entered your bedchambers with a determination that made you laugh, despite everything. perhaps you were on the verge of madness since you hadn't slept at all, something your septa had admonished you for immediately.

westeros wedding traditions were a long, tedious thing, especially coupled with all the vows you'd have to recite in the sept to the gods. you were not even sure whether you'd have to participate in the added old kim tradition of taking dragonglass to hongjoong and your lips. the thought made your stomach churn. you doubted you be allowed to complete any dornish wedding traditions. the rowdiness. the fun. the lack of formalities. it was something you loved when you'd attended a wedding as a child. something you wished for yourself once upon a time. and then, there was the bedding ceremony. where your friends would carry your spouse to their chambers during the feast, disrobing them as they carried them through the halls, before tossing them onto the bed. your spouse's friends would do the same to you. then they'd lock you in the bedroom, laugh and tease you both to their heart's content, and leave you to consummate the marriage. it was a vulgar, terrifying tradition, one you might have felt different about if your spouse was not prince kim hongjoong.

your stomach turned at the thought of it.

you did not get to see your family again, as you were whisked through the motions of the day, and the nerves clawed at your insides each time you caught a glimpse of them, only to be pulled away.

the queen straightened your clothes as you stood in the halls behind the closed doors to the sept, the seven-sided prayer room where vows were made, where you were to walk down the aisle. yeosang and mingi stood at either side of the door.

the queen, bent and tired and smaller than you remembered, smiled gently, and she said, "good luck, dear."

it felt like a warning.

you found yourself asking, "who is going to walk me?"

the queen looked at you with sad eyes. she said, "the king is your ward. he would like to give you away."

no.

you shook your head. it was a small thing. you did not know if you would make it down the sept with the mad king and his claws on you. you'd vowed long ago you will kill him before he could ever touch you again. the thought rang in your head. all day, you'd wanted your mother or your brothers, or even your father, for just one moment. yet, even now, king kim wanted to flaunt the power he had over lord jeong and dorne.

you looked at the queen. you said, "it is tradition for my family to walk with me."

the queen's brows furrowed.

your chest was tight.

you said, "i have never asked you of anything, your grace. please grant me this, at least."

you did not expect much. she tugged at your collar once more, before she turned and left.

you looked at yeosang and mingi. mingi smiled sweetly. he said, "you look wonderful."

you thought you were going to cry. it felt as if you were walking to your execution. as if they were dressing you up like a pig for slaughter. you'd blinked at mingi, once, twice, and his sweet smile slipped from his expression, turning into concern.

yeosang only pat mingi's back and said, "get back into position. we're to start soon."

in the end, your father hooked his arm through your elbow, and he said, "endure, my child. just for a little longer."

you looked up at him, and your fingers curled around his arm, and maybe he was not your father anymore, but he was for a little while, and that was what kept you holding on, you believe.

the music was loud, and you kept your focus straight ahead, on the septon. not on hongjoong. never on hongjoong.

at least until your father walked you to your designated spot, and gently pried your fingers off his arm as he took his seat. at least until you were facing hongjoong, and his gaze flickered to your hands, to the way they remained balled fists at your side before he met your gaze. the septon spoke and spoke, but hongjoong's gaze remained on you.

his white hair curled at his shoulders, lying loose. today, it was not so messy, as if someone had taken a hair comb to it. his robes were regal black and red, made of silk that matched the outfit you'd been put into. silver chains fastened his cloak to his robes, and his hand was adorned with silver rings, both old and new. his dark eyes remained fixed on you, his sharp features somehow softer as he looked at you. kinder. perhaps that was because of the sunlight streaming in from the windows above. either way, his gaze lingered in a way that made the nerves so much worse. you focused on the details, until the septon's words echoed around you, jolting you from your thoughts, "look upon each other and say the words."

you were given the words by your septa, to list off the names of each of the seven gods. your voice sounded steadier to your ears than you thought it could be. you were glad for it. hongjoong listed the names alongside you, both your voices ringing together in the room.

then the room went silent, and hongjoong watched you with unreadable eyes, his jaw ticking slightly. the septon looked at you expectantly. you swallowed, before you said, "i am his, and he is mine. from this day, until the end of my days."

the septon looked to hongjoong. he smiled, and it was a small thing, the corners of his lips lilting up. he held your gaze as he said, voice low, voice ringing into the silence, "i am yours, and you are mine. from this day, until the end of my days."

if your heart stilled because of him or the way he changed the vows to speak directly to you, or because you were now wedded to prince hongjoong of westeros, you would not know, for hongjoong then said, "with this kiss, i pledge my love."

you'd froze, and he stepped close, his eyes flickering over your face for a moment, before he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. it lasted mere seconds. the mad king shook his head from his place behind hongjoong. as hongjoong moved back and you both turned to the clapping and hooting audience of court members and nobility, you did not think you could endure any longer. you met san's eyes, to the right sat next to his father, and he smiled kindly, and you looked to your family then, and they sat rigid and watchful, too polite, and you were too overwhelmed to think let alone react. hongjoong's hand remained in yours as you were both ushered from the room first, down the aisle, to the feast.

~.~.~.~.~

"how wonderful that i may finally call you my child through marriage," the mad king reached over and dragged his long nails along your cheek. you suppressed a shudder. he looked at hongjoong, said, "perhaps you have proved yourself useful at long last, my son."

you watched as he threw his arms back, as he gestured to your father, beckoning him forward, and he said, "not only am i in possession of an army fourteen thousand strong, but i may now welcome another child to my family. the gods have truly blessed us, have they not, lord jeong?"

your father smiled through his teeth, "extraordinarily, your grace."

the mad king threw his head back and laughed, his voice booming through the great dining hall. he shouted, "let us feast then! to a blessed union and new beginnings."

then the king stumbled to his throne, and hongjoong scoffed under his breath.

your father was quickly joined by your mother. your father did not say anything, but your mother reached over and pat your cheek, wordless before she downed her glass of wine. she looked to hongjoong, and said, "you will treat them well."

"yes, of course."

"that was not a request, your grace."

hongjoong blinked. your mother stepped down, back to the table. wooyoung was in deep conversation with san, while yunho and mingi exchanged a bow - a sight that made your heart warm, strangely enough.

hongjoong said, "i finally see where you and your brothers get your audacity from."

you glared at hongjoong.

he let out a breathless laugh, before he turned away from you and sat at his spot at the head table, his mother between him and his father. his gaze swept over the guests at the feast drinking before it lifted up to meet yours. he gestured at the seat next to him. you did not wish to endure any longer.

but you still sat down. without a word or a glance hongjoong's way, you took the wine cup in front of you and downed it. a servant came scurrying your way, refilling it immediately. you'd blinked at the action - they'd never done such a thing for you before.

you downed another. and another. you looked at hongjoong. he only laughed.

you looked down at your family. your father mingled as he should. so did you mother. yunho looked up at you, and he raised a glass to you, and you drank from your seat at the table, and wooyoung rested his chin on his palm as he smiled sadly up at you as he spoke to san, and the beast at the pit of your stomach wished to burst from you right then, in front of everyone. you wished to burn everything here, and burn yourself with it.

you wanted to go to your bedchambers, with the caged windows, and you wanted to stare at the ceiling. you wanted to return to being a mere ward.

but you were a kim now, moreso you think then you'd ever been a jeong, let alone dornish.

~.~.~.~.~

you were drunker than you'd wanted to be when the guests called for the bedding ceremony. it was a flurry of movement. one moment, you and hongjoong were sitting at the table watching your guests dance. and the next, you were being tugged from the chair and tossed into the air. hongjoong's laughter was a loud thing. you could see him being pulled away in the other direction, yunho and wooyoung tugging him along. you'd blinked when you realized what was happening, panic settling in your stomach.

mingi tossed you in the air. he murmured, "sorry" before he tugged at your cloak. that was all that was tossed aside. you looked over his shoulder as yeosang trailed after mingi, not so subtly pushing any of the other drunken noblemen or lieges pushing their way towards you. mingi grabbed a shoe and tossed it back. it satisfied their need for tradition, you realized, and it did not leave you disrobed. your fingers curled around mingi's shoulder in thanks. mingi merely kicked open the door to hongjoong's bedchambers and placed you carefully on the bed. yeosang waved everyone out.

moments later, hongjoong stumbled into his chambers, his hair a mess, and his cloak missing. his silk shirt was torn. otherwise he was also clothed. still, you would not have put it past your brothers to have bruised hongjoong up under the guise of the bedding ceremony. the thought made you smile, despite everything.

you sat on his bed, watching as he paused at the foot of the bed. you could hear drunken teasing and laughter beyond the closed door, but the sheer fact that you were utterly alone with hongjoong made blood rush to your ears and your heart race and that overwhelming, angry feeling you've felt all day rear it's ugly head.

hongjoong peered down at you, tilting his head as his gaze swept down your form. despite the messy hair, and torn shirt, he still looked so regal, larger than life really, and you watched with bated breath as he stepped closer. one step, two steps, until his shins knocked against the side of the mattress, inches from your feet.

he bent at the waist, until his face hovered above you. it was a slow descent, and you held your breath all the while.

he lifted a hand, and brushed his fingers along your cheek, your jaw, the cool touch of one of his rings making you jerk away. you said, "what are you doing?"

"touching what's mine."

you'd blinked.

he said, "is that not what we vowed to each other. i am yours, and you are mine."

"i don't -" you shook your head, said, "i am not yours. i am no one's to own."

he raised a brow, still hovering, dark eyes still watching, and you could not endure any longer.

you pressed a hand to his chest and pushed him. he stumbled back, surprised. even as you rose from the bed and repeated, voice sharp, anger bubbling at your chest, "i am not yours, and i never will be."

then he laughed. he laughed, and it set something off in you. something angry and vindictive, something that had been growing inside you all this time, waiting for you to allow it to rear its head. you shoved him again. harder.

he stumbled back once more, and you kept shoving him, until his back hit the wall. it was like the hallway all over again, except this time, you were so angry and overwhelmed and absolutely exhausted with hongjoong's games that all you wanted was for him to shut his mouth.

his laughter died quickly. before you could say anything, he shoved you back. you blinked in surprise, making a move to push him, but he shoved you once more, and you stumbled back. his shoves were softer than yours, small pushes that made you step back because you did not want him to touch you. you'd used much more force. still he pushed you. once, twice, as many times as you him, until the back of your knees hit the bed and your legs buckled at the impact. you fell back onto the bed, and he followed you, climbing onto the bed, knees on either side of your legs and his weight a light pressure on your legs. you smacked him hard, so he reached for your hands, his fingers curling around your wrists as he pinned them away, the rings on his fingers digging into your skin. he peered down at you, annoyed, "did you think i'd allow this a second time? one time is fine, but how many times have you hit me?"

you struggled against his grip, but he kept you pinned to the bed, merely watching you thrash with a strange look in his eyes. you said, "fuck off."

"how many times?" his voice was low, annoyed, even as glared down at you.

"i - don't know." the struggling was fruitless. you both knew it. so you stopped, scowling up at him. his grip on your wrists tightened slightly, his eyes dark. you vowed, then, that you would never allow yourself to end up in such a position with him again. you spat, "can you blame me? i do not want this. would you not do the same if you were in my position?"

for a moment hongjoong merely studied you, before he sighed and let go of your wrists. often, you wondered if he even knew how to imagine himself in other's positions.

he rolled off you, sitting cross-legged at your side on the bed as he peered down at you. "contrary to what you seem to believe, i am no monster, y/n. i do not bed anyone without their enthusiastic consent. i will not have you, y/n, until you ask."

his voice was a low thing. kind almost. it settled over all your feelings, and it broke something inside you. you pressed your hands to your face, to your mouth, but you were breathing too hard and too fast, and the ache in your chest became too large, too heavy, too painful. it was everything you'd felt throughout the night. it was everything all at once, and it was too much. you stared at the ceiling - it was taller than yours, more dizzying. the entire room was so much bigger, and you felt so small in hongjoong's too-big bed.

you said, voice muffled by your hand pressed to your mouth to quiet yourself, to hold yourself together, "do you know what my father said to me today?"

hongjoong had already rolled off the bed, had shrugged his torn shirt from his shoulders, and you'd averted your gaze from his bare skin as you waited for a response. acknowledgment. why you needed him to acknowledge your words, you did not know.

after a moment of shuffling, hongjoong stood over you at the edge of the bed, peering down at you. he wore his sleeping robes, and his eyes were a heavy, unreadable thing. you took that as enough of a response. enough acknowledgement.

"he told me to endure. and i thought i could but -" you pressed your other hand to your stinging eyes, your chest heaving. you felt as though your chest would cave in with the heaviness of your father's words and his actions, and the fact that you were here now in hongjoong's bedchambers, tied to him until the end of your days. all for a game of thrones you had no hand in. a searing part of you wished someone would start a war for you, but you were not worth such things.

"you've endured for over six years," hongjoong said, peering down at you, "you would think your father would have kinder words for you after all these years."

you dropped your hand from your stinging eyes and looked up at him, "i do not think fathers know how to be kind."

hongjoong blinked rapidly at you, glancing away briefly, his eyes lingering across the room. then he looked back down at you as he spoke, each word slow, thoughtful, "is this how we reconcile? over our unkind fathers?"

you laughed then, you could not help it. hongjoong's gaze remained fixed on you, the corner of his lip tipping upwards. you said, "we could."

"we could," hongjoong said with a nod.

you'd blinked at him, watching as hongjoong reached out and brushed a finger down your cheek, along your jaw, under your chin.

you stared at him as you said, "we won't though, will we?"

"i'll consider reconciling if you beg me for it," hongjoong smiled softly, his touch along your jaw softer still. "i'll give you all the power you've ever wanted. all you have to do is beg."

his voice was a low thing, and your emotions were on high. his touch drew you in, though you did not want to admit it. in this moment, you'd considered it. for a moment, you considered giving in. who were you, but a creature of dorne in a gilded cage, meant to shadow the future king of westeros. nothing more, nothing less. you were tired, and you did not wish to endure any longer.

but, he wanted you to beg. he wanted you to need him, and you refused. you did not wish to need anyone any longer. not san and storm's end. not your father, or even your brothers.

despite it all, you did not want it.

so you reached up and pushed his hand from your face. hongjoong chuckled, a soft thing that settled under your skin.

he said, "one day, you will."

he said it with such certainty, the itch under your skin and the beast in your belly grew ten times larger. you were never quite so zealous, but every nerve in your body wished for you to prove hongjoong wrong. to have him grovel for you instead.

"let us pray that you live to see such a day," you said. your words were very much treason, but hongjoong did not bother to comment on it. instead, he only grinned, all teeth, and sparkling eyes.

he said, "go to sleep, y/n. you're drunk."

#ateez angst #hongjoong angst #hongjoong #ateez scenarios #ateez #gotau

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