#same with Nehemia's parents
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The problem with trying to reference things from the books when writing about Eyllwe is that there simply aren't any characters FROM Eyllwe other than Nehemia and the unnamed girl who dies in CoM (who refers to herself in her own head as slave girl)
I MADE UP NADAV AND SARAI AND ABIDAN AND NATAN Y'ALL. I HAVE EXACTLY ONE NAME TO GO ON CANONICALLY SPEAKING.
('Sarah Janet worldbuilds' fucking where)
#myth rags on throne of glass#myth talks truthteller#I am aware that Yrene's absentee father is also from eyllwe#but he is only barely mentioned#same with Nehemia's parents#and none of them have names or actually appear
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Rowaelin Month Day Eight: Single Parent Au @rowaelinscourt
Rowaelin Month Masterlist
Where We've Been Masterlist
Warnings: nothing too major? ~6.5k words
Where We've Been, Where We're Going--Part Six
Aelin awoke with a start the next morning.
Sprawled out on the small couch in the waiting room, she’d forgotten where she was for the briefest of moments. Her dreams had been filled with running through a small apartment trying to get free from her pursuer. Constantly looking over her shoulder. The impending knowledge that she wasn’t safe. Needless to say, she didn’t sleep well.
As she remembered where she was, that she was safe, she sat up and ran a hand through her hair. The small window of the waiting room showed off an early morning sky that wasn’t yet dusted with the pinks and golds of a rising sun.
Outside the door were the usual sounds of a hospital: nurses talking quietly, med carts rolling, shoes squeaking on linoleum. It hadn’t bothered her throughout the night, for which she was grateful. The hospital was slowly waking up with the usual ins and outs of operation which meant Aelin would soon need to leave.
She only had a dinner shift at the diner, and she knew Nox wouldn’t be mad if she was late, but considering she was on an hourly wage and needed the tips, getting there on time would be better for her.
Sitting up, she stretched out her sore back. She’d have to make sure not to wince or waddle when talking to Malakai or she’d never hear the end of her stubborn refusal to go home to a real bed.
She stuffed her hair into a bun, certain it still looked like a rat's nest, and gathered her jacket and phone. The battery was well on its way to dying so the sooner she got to her car where the spare charger was, the better.
As she headed up to Emrys’ room for a quick check in, she ran into Yrene who was finishing up at a nurses station.
The brunette smiled. “Hey, did you stay here all night?”
“Yeah, I wanted to be close in case anything happened,” Aelin said.
Yrene nodded in understanding. She reached out and gave Aelin’s arm a squeeze. “He’s a strong man. And stubborn as they come.”
“I know.” She did her best to smile, unwilling to break down in front of Yrene who always appeared so strong and composed all the time. “I just want to swing by the room before I head back to Terrasen.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
Yrene initialed a patient file before putting it back where it belonged at the nurses station. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, but there were a few flyaways escaping. The curls framed her face, emphasizing her dark hazel eyes.
“So, how have you been?” Aelin asked. She didn’t know Yrene very well, only from the occasional check-ups and some medication prescriptions. But, Yrene had a quality about her that spoke to kindness and surety that Aelin appreciated.
“Oh, same old,” Yrene laughed. “A few nurses quit last week so my workload increased a bit.”
She rolled her eyes even as Aelin stared in slight horror.
“It’s fine,” Yrene insisted, “I get double overtime and everything. Besides, I’ve gotten really good at sewing up barbed wire injuries.”
“You still deserve a break,” Aelin insisted.
They stepped on the elevator to head up to the recovery wing. Unlike yesterday, Aelin was able to remain mostly calm. She kept herself as close to the door as possible still, ready to jump out at the first chance.
“Who needs rest?” Yrene chuckled.
“When was the last time you had a girls night?” Aelin asked. “You should come into Terrasen. You, Nehemia, me and Marion, we can have a night out of fun.”
That gave Yrene pause. She fiddled with the pager at her waist as she thought. Aelin had a feeling she knew exactly what was going through the other woman’s head: new friends, too busy, do I really have time, easier to ignore it. She knew those thoughts. As much as Aelin loved new people and having fun, she’d grown warier as of late. She knew how easily her cover could be blown, sending up a smoke signal to Arobynn telling him where she was.
It had come close to happening after the debacle with Chaol over a year ago and why she didn’t entirely trust the man anymore.
“If you don’t want to,” Aelin began.
“No,” Yrene said quickly. “No. It sounds fun. I’ll take a look at my schedule and let you know.”
The elevator opened up a floor and had Aelin bouncing out as soon as she could. Despite the care she took to hide her emotions and her unease, she’d been failing more often in recent weeks. She used to be good at it--protecting herself from other’s eyes. For her own sake and the sake of her daughter she needed to get back to that point.
“Great!” Aelin flashed her brightest smile. She had to be careful around Yrene’s keen eyes. The woman had seen some of Aelin’s past medical records--the healed broken bones and scars--and would know what they meant. While Yrene was a professional, and bound by HIPPA, she was still a good person who would look out for someone in a bad situation. As long as Aelin acted like everything was alright, Yrene wouldn’t comment on it.
She could hope.
“Marion doesn’t seem like the type to go out,” Yrene commented with light amusement.
They headed down the hall as dawn slowly began creeping in through the skylights and windows. It was set to be another beautiful summer day, even with all the turmoil surrounding them.
“Oh, she doesn’t,” Aelin agreed, “she’s always been a little closed off. She bit my head off the first time I invited her out to lunch. It just takes a little bit for her to feel comfortable around people.”
We all have things we need to keep hidden, she almost said. She bit her lip and kept those words to herself.
The recovery wing was quiet as they rounded a corner to Emrys’ room. Malakai was already up and in the hall as the doctor and a nurse did a morning evaluation.
“You look terrible,” Malakai said, giving Aelin an appraising look.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh thanks.”
“I told you that you should have gone home,” he said.
“I’m fine.” The crick in her neck said otherwise, but Aelin ignored that. “How is he?”
“He woke up,” Malakai said, “still groggy and confused, but he did wake up.”
“Good,” Aelin said, “that’s good.”
She glanced to the room where the curtains were drawn. She wished she could have gotten to see Emrys at least once, but she did need to get going, especially if she wanted to relieve Nehemia from Meiri duty.
“Will you give him my love?” she asked. “I need to head back to Terrasen.”
“Of course,” Malakai agreed, “go. I’ll let you know if anything happens.”
Aelin nodded. “I’ll check in with Luca and make sure he’s going to his summer classes.”
“Chaol knows what he’s doing,” Malakai reminded her.
Aelin kindly ignored him. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before turning to Yrene.
“Text me about your schedule.”
Yrene told her she would and satisfied, Aelin headed back to Terrasen.
…
Rowan stood at the top of the ladder and stared at the window pane he was trying to install. This really was a two man job but considering he knew no one in this damned town, he was determined to accomplish this on his own.
Last night he’d made the impossibly stupid decision of staying in Terrasen to help finish the renovations on the Inn. He wasn’t entirely sure why he did it--other than the fact that he actually liked Malakai and Emrys.
Maybe it also dipped into the idea that he wanted to make a difference. For so long he’d been entrenched in pain and war, blood and misery. For so long he’d done what others had told him to do to the point he never really knew what he wanted. Until the end.
Until that last raid when he’d made a deadly choice.
But this wouldn’t lead to death.
Unless he slipped off the ladder.
Rowan looked down. He’d probably survive.
Good thing heights had never bothered him.
He turned back to the window pane. With careful leveraging he could manage this on his own. But for the rest of the windows? Maybe he would have to enlist some help. Which would require talking to people.
Hell.
After another twenty minutes, Rowan did manage to finagle the window pane into place and secure it with the necessary equipment.
Sweat poured down his skin as she finally made it down the ladder. It was barely one in the afternoon and he was ready to call it a day. Even after spending years hauling equipment through the Kovac desert and sitting in a sniper's nest--there was something particularly grueling about this today.
He hadn’t been sleeping of course. Hadn’t been training every day, all day. His body was trying to adapt to its new circumstances and seemed to be failing miserably.
When his feet hit solid ground, he stripped off his shirt to wipe off the excess sweat that was dripping from his forehead. As he’d come to learn about this part of the state; it was endlessly sunny. The blue sky allowed for no relief. Not that Rowan wanted it.
He stood in the parking lot of the Inn, bare chested and let the sun pour down. He could taste the remnants of dust on his tongue and hear the quiet hum of cars drive past on the main road. If he focused, if he closed his eyes and waited--he was back in that desert waiting for orders.
The low growl of a closely approaching car drew his attention and he opened his eyes to the blinding light of the sun as a black SUV pulled into the parking lot. The engine cut off and a man hopped out of the driver's seat. He had to be Rowan’s same age if he had to guess. He was handsome with black hair and a charming smile. There was something familiar about the easy way he held himself.
“You must be Rowan.” The man proffered a hand to shake. He wore a suit that had to cost at least as much as the SUV he drove. “I’m Dorian, the city mayor.”
Rowan shook his hand but was otherwise unsure what to say to the man. He’d met many political types in his time in the army and hadn’t liked any of them. All he could really do was nod and mop his face with his shirt again.
“Malakai mentioned you might be staying in the front office for the day,” Dorian said, glancing at the ladder and mess of window equipment. “He didn’t mention you’d be working.”
There was such an easy way about him, that Rowan could see how someone could be disarmed by the man. Since Rowan could now count on one hand the number of people he trusted in his life, it was easy to keep his defenses up.
“I figured I’d try and repay them by helping out,” Rowan said.
He remembered meeting a business man out in Kovac who would essentially loot abandoned villages and look for any opportunity to get his hands on money. It was one of the things that led to Talbot’s death. And that final raid.
All because of one man.
Rowan knew why Dorian was familiar.
“Havilliard,” he said slowly. Dorian’s smile froze in play. “Dorian Havilliard. I’ve met your father.”
“That’s unfortunate,” Dorian said, “the man’s a bastard.”
Rowan eased back a step. Henry Havilliard had come to Kovac because his business was investing funds in the war and had wanted to see sites where his money was being used. Which had led to the attack miles outside of base camp.
In reality, Rowan knew he couldn’t blame the sins of the father on the son. He knew that. But it would be so easy to.
“You served in Kovac, didn’t you?” Dorian asked. “That’s mostly where my father invested.”
“Three tours,” Rowan said. Three tours over four and a half years. And then a year of training stateside before that. It shouldn’t have happened that way, he should have had more time between tours. Should have given himself a break, but after Talbot…everything had spiraled out of control.
“My father never understood what it was like to serve,” Dorian said, “never really understood what his work was doing.” He held Rowan’s gaze for a few moments before looking away. “Even with all the time he spent over there.”
No one understood what it was like. Not until they were holding a dying kid in their arms and had blood staining their lips.
“Did you need to get into the office?” Rowan asked. He didn’t need to talk about his military time nor did he need to try and bond with a Havilliard.
“No,” Dorian said, he cast another look over the motel. “I just thought I’d stop by and introduce myself.” He paused. “Are you planning on finishing the renovations yourself?”
Rowan shrugged. “May as well. Sartaq is still finishing my truck.”
Though, if the last text was to be believed, the truck would be finished by the end of the day.
Dorian nodded absently. “Malakai was worried about being ready for the county fair. You know--”
He was cut off by a loud squeal.
“Uncle Dorian!”
The small voice carried across the parking lot and was followed by the emphatic pounding of feet. When Rowan looked around until he saw running along the sidewalk toward them was Meiri. Her blonde hair bounced wildly about her face and an infectious smile beamed at him. As she got closer he noticed she wore a pink tutu skirt paired with a blue Spider-Man shirt.
Behind her trailed Aelin at a quick pace with Meiri’s backpack slung on one arm, coffee in hand.
“Hey kiddo!” Dorian knelt down as Meiri nearly bowled him over.
“You missed pizza night with Mia!” Meiri told him. She smacked her hands on Dorian’s cheeks and looked him dead in the eye. “You never miss pizza night.”
“I’m sorry,” Dorian said, he genuinely seemed apologetic. Though Rowan wondered if that was from missing the pizza of missing time with Nehemia. “Next time I’ll be there, I promise.”
Meiri held out one hand, pinky in the air. “Pinky promise!”
Aelin watched the exchange in bemusement that had Rowan wondering how often Meiri sealed deals with pinky promises.
“Pinky promise,” Dorian agreed. He hooked his pinky with hers.
Satisfied, Meiri turned to Rowan. Much like the first few times they’d met, she shied away from him, just a little. Though, she still eyed him with interest.
“Hi,” she said, “did you get pancakes today?”
“Nope,” Rowan said, “no pancakes.”
“That sucks,” Meiri said.
“Meiri!” Aelin scolded, dropped a hand on her daughter's head. “That’s not a word I want you using.”
“But Luca says it,” Meiri said. She shook her mother off and patted down her hair aggressively.
“Yeah and he’ll be in trouble too,” Aelin assured her daughter. “It’s not a nice way to talk.”
Meiri immediately became uninterested with the mild chastisement and ran over to the tool box sitting out beside the ladder. She poked and prodded before she found a measuring tape and got to work measuring out every little thing she could.
“I thought you’d be gone by now,” Aelin said, drawing Rowan’s attention away from Meiri who crouched beside Dorian’s SUV, tape measure extended over the tires. “Sartaq left me a message saying your truck was done.”
Rowan ran a hand through his hair, the sweat helping it stick back out of his face. He nodded to the pile of window and construction equipment off to the side.
“Decided to help out a bit until Emrys was back on his feet,” he explained. How long had it been since he last checked his phone? If he’d known Sartaq had finished he would have gone to pick the truck up.
Aelin’s expression betrayed nothing even as her head cocked to one side. She didn’t exactly trust him, that much was for sure. But she didn’t dislike him either. At least…as far as he could tell. Though, Rowan was certain that she’d never admit to such a thing.
“You should stick around for the county fair,” Dorian said. He had an earnest grin on his face that had Aelin scoffing, but Rowan didn’t think the malice was directed at him. “It’s a good time.”
“You’d do anything to keep numbers up,” Aelin said. She rested her hands on her hips and gave Rowan a look. “The reelection is coming up.”
“I’m just saying, food, music, and fireworks,” shrugging, Dorian looked a little chagrined. “And, there's a sharpshooting competition. Been around since the fair started. I’m sure Chaol would like the competition, no one’s beat him in three years.”
The offer was genuine, easily extended. Rowan, however, had no inclination to pick up a gun again. Not for a long time. And not unless he had no other choice.
“Yeah, maybe,” Rowan said. He ran a hand over his jaw contemplating if he could get out of this conversation by just walking away. He hadn’t touched a weapon of any sort in months, not since being discharged and the thought of handling something else…
Meiri ran over to Dorian, the measuring tape flailing behind her.
“Uncle Dorian! Your car tires are this big!” Meiri held up the metal tape that made a distinct whipping sound.
“Thanks kiddo,” Dorian smiled down at Meiri.
“Momma’s gotta go to work, can I stay with you today?” Meiri asked. She released the tape measure so it snapped together sharply.
“Sorry, princess, I’ve got a lot of meetings today.” Dorian cast an apologetic look to Aelin who grimaced.
“I should have texted you beforehand,” she sighed. “I guess I can ask Mrs. Olmstead…”
“No Momma!” Meiri cried. “She never has any cookies and she doesn’t like to dig holes. Plus she smells funny.”
Dorian had to turn away to keep his laugh hidden and Aelin’s lips were pursed so tightly, Rowan worried she’d bite into them.
“The cookies are the biggest crime,” Dorian said. He patted Meiri on the head. “I need to head down to my meeting. Have all the fun with this.”
He nodded to Rowan and gave Aelin a peck on the cheek before returning to his SUV. The car turned out onto the main road, disappearing around a corner with a honk in farewell.
It was only then that Aelin cleared her throat before plucking the tape measure from Meiri’s hands. “I’m sorry you feel that way, but she is a very nice lady. We can dig holes tomorrow.”
“Please, Momma?” Meiri clung to her mother’s leg and tugged insistently.
It was a moment that was amusing and endearing. Meiri in her tutu and large blue eyes and Aelin’s will crumbling bit by bit. Rowan could remember a similar situation years ago.
A daughter. A mother.
Each desperately clinging to the other.
“I can watch her,” Rowan said, the words leaving his lips before he knew what the hell he was thinking.
Aelin blinked, clearly shocked by his offer. Well, there was no turning back now.
“Do you like to dig holes?” Meiri asked. Her blue eyes widened expectantly as if it were the most important question in the world.
“Sure,” Rowan said, “I spent my summers burying my school books so my mom wouldn’t find them.”
Meiri pondered for a minute before she nodded once. “Okay. We can have pancakes too!”
She took the measuring tape back from her mom before running to his tool box and taking the level out. She held the tool in her hands with obvious care before heading over the window ledge of the front office.
It was easy to see Aelin’s uncertainty on the matter with the way she gripped Meiri’s bag in one hand.
“We can just hang out at the diner if you want,” Rowan offered. “You can keep an eye on her, I’ll color with her or something.”
For as long as he could remember, Rowan had never been a kid person. He’d never known what to do around them or with them or…anything really. The last kids he’d been around were his cousins but that had been ages ago, back before the war. And frankly, Rowan wasn’t sure if he should volunteer for this. After spending years around Lorcan and Fenrys combined there was no telling what Rowan would let slip.
Plenty and cursing that was certain.
“I,” Aelin began. She sighed and rested a hand on her hip. The tank top she wore left her golden arms on display. She even had a few freckles spotting along her shoulders. Summer looked good on her. “Alright. Marion has reading hours sometimes at the library, if you stopped by I’m sure she’d help you out.”
“Alright,” Rowan said. That would work out well. He remembered how much Sellene liked to read and Endymion could spin tales like no other. “We’ll stop by.”
Aelin slowly pulled a key ring from her pocket and unwound a key. She held it out between two fingers.
“I’m going to trust you,” she said, “don’t make me regret it. I’m off at eight, but Nox might let me leave early. You can go back to my place and watch Barbie movies if she gets too rowdy.”
Rowan accepted the key, tucking it into his fingers. The metal was cool on his skin and seemed to weigh a little heavier in his grasp.
Trust was a heavy burden to own and he really wasn’t sure if he deserved it.
Meiri skipped back over to them holding up the level so she could peer through one of the small openings between one of the bubble vials.
“Are we gonna get pancakes?” Meiri asked.
“Better,” Aelin answered, “Rowan’s going to take you to the library.”
Meiri gasped in excitement. “Yes!”
Aelin smiled as she crouched down next to her daughter. “Listen to Rowan, okay? I’ll see you tonight after work.”
“Bye, Momma! I love you!” Meiri threw her arms around Aelin’s neck, nearly smacking her in the head with the level.
Chuckling, Aelin dodged the near assault. She gently took the level from her daughter. “Let’s be careful with Rowan’s tools, these aren’t toys.”
Meiri nodded, the picture of innocence.
Aelin stood, drawing this good-bye out as long as she could. Even Rowan wasn’t completely detached from human emotion to notice.
“I’ll make sure my phone’s charged,” Rowan assured her, “and I’ll get your number from Marion. If that’s alright.”
“You have a phone?” Aelin asked, brow raised. For the first time that day she was actually directing her amusement at him and not disdain.
“I haven’t used it in a while,” Rowan admitted. The only reason he new where it was was so Sartaq could keep in contact.
Despite the small bit of humor she’d just displayed, Aelin still looked hesitant. One hand flexed toward Meiri who now butted her head into Aelin legs. “Just keep me updated.”
“Updates every fifteen minutes,” Rowan promised.
That got a genuine smile. “Thirty minutes is fine.”
…
“Do you like reading Meiri?” Rowan asked as not more than ten minutes later he and Aelin’s daughter were rounding the steps to the library.
The building was small, tucked right up against the post office. When they entered the double doors, Rowan got the distinct scent of fresh paper and static cleanliness that could only belong to a post office. It mingled with the subtle undertones of cedar and book musk.
“Yeah!” Meiri said. “My favorite is the story of the princess who has to go find her family in the lost castle. Do you know that story?”
“Uh, no.” The last book Rowan had read was…hell, he couldn’t even remember.
Meiri sighed. “Do you know the story about the ducks?”
“No.” Whatever fascination Meiri had once had for him was certainly draining away now. Quickly.
They entered the main lobby of the library where there was a large display of children’s books set in the summer months and a cutout of a puppy with balloons tied to its collar. Fly away with reading! Was written out overhead.
“Well what do you know?” Meiri asked.
Rowan thought back to what Sellene would have read at Meiri’s age. “What about Snow White?”
“She doesn’t have a sword.”
Well at least Rowan knew Aelin was giving her daughter a well rounded view of the world. Though, admittedly, a lot of fairy tales could be improved if the princess had a sword.
“I’ll ask Marion for help,” Rowan assured Meiri.
He found a small table where he could plug his phone in and let it charge enough to make sure it would actually turn on, before making sure Meiri was settled in the picture book section. He made sure not to go too far where Meiri was out of view as he looked for Marion. Despite how small the library was, he wouldn’t take his chances on Meiri running off.
It didn’t take long before Marion appeared from a back room with a stack of books in her arms. She paused when she saw Rowan.
“Hi,” she said, “what are you…?”
Rowan jutted a thumb back to where Meiri was picking out books. “I’m helping Aelin out with Meiri.”
“Aelin let you take her daughter out of her sight?” Marion obviously did not believe what Rowan was saying. She propped the books she held on one hip as she walked to the main counter. “She doesn’t know you.”
“Yeah,” Rowan said. He shrugged. “I don’t really know why either.”
Marion set her books down and brushed adjusted the bun her hair was knotted in. She reached for the small phone sitting next to her computer. Rowan didn’t even try to argue as she immediately began texting.
“Her shift just started,” he offered helpfully.
Marion only glared up at him. For such a small woman, she would have made an excellent army ranger. He could see her ordering a group of soldiers around without much effort at all. Hell, she could even give Lorcan a run for his money with that scowl.
“Why would I kidnap a five year old and immediately bring her to a library?” Rowan added after Marion finished her message.
“Because you’re up to something,” Marion said. “Showing up to a small town and offering no information about yourself. Helping out a family you just met. Don’t think I haven’t heard about what you’re doing for Emrys and Malakai.”
It had been, maybe, a half hour since speaking with Dorian and already the gossip was circulating.
Determination flashed in Marion’s eyes. As well as mistrust. Rowan had spent plenty of time trying to understand people, interrogating them, learning everything he could about them that he knew these subtler human emotions.
“I tell you my secrets if you tell me yours,” he offered. And then, to make a point he added: “Marion’s not even your real name, is it?”
That got a reaction. Marion stiffened, just barely, but it was enough to tell Rowan enough. It was a cruel thing to point out, especially given how protective and cautious she was--but he knew, he knew, there was something different about her.
“Can I have Aelin’s number? I told her I would text her with updates.” Rowan tapped a pad of sticky notes for emphasis.
Marion muttered a curse under her breath but did as requested. She handed him the note, jaw set with anger.
“Thank-you,” Rowan said.
He went back to where his phone was charging, unlocking it and disregarding the missed messages waiting for him. Those weren’t important. There were only three people who had his number and he didn’t want to talk to any of them. Well, technically a few others but dealing with ghosts never got him anywhere.
He tapped out a quick message to Aelin.
>>This is Rowan. Meiri is currently well on her way to emptying out the entire library.
He debated sending a picture along with it but decided against it. He doubted Aelin would want a near stranger having pictures of her daughter on his phone.
Hell. She must have been desperate to let him take Meiri for the afternoon.
Just as he moved to set the phone back down a new message buzzed through. He thought it was Aelin already responding until he saw the I.D. He should have known they would reach out like this.
<<im back stateside
<<we need to talk
<<its important
<<you cant ignore me forever
Rowan frowned. Well he sure as shit could try.
He locked the phone and went over to the small play area where Meiri was rapidly accumulating a large pile of books. She sat at a small table with a book propped up before her. One finger trailed along the words as she slowly mouthed the words out.
“K-k-kwik,” she said, “the dog was quick.”
Rowan didn’t know much about kids, but he had a feeling Meiri was far above the usual reading level. She glanced up when he approached and waved her book in the air.
“C’mon, you said you’d read with me.”
So, Rowan went over and took a seat in the tiny plastic chair beside her and read about the dog that ran all through a small town wrecking havoc as it went. Every few books, Meiri would get up and wander around to find another book or two and bring them back for Rowan to read.
She was so entranced by each story, Rowan didn’t have the heart to shirk his duties so he wound up doing voices and accents for the different characters. He made sure to send Aelin messages along the way--ignoring the ones from his old contacts--and just tried to keep Meiri entertained.
Eventually Marion came over with a coloring book and giant box of crayons for Meiri to color with. The girl happily took the items and set to work, choosing to go sit in a corner next to a giant stuffed elephant.
Marion sat in one of the kid chairs across from Rowan, chin propped in one hand.
“You know,” she said, “that kid is one of a kind. And Aelin loves her more than anything.”
It wasn’t anything Rowan was surprised to hear. Meiri did seem like a different kid than most. And Aelin’s love for her was one of the first things Rowan had noticed in the diner that first day in Terrasen. He eyed Marion wondering what she was getting at.
“When Chaol and Aelin were dating, well, if you could call it that,” Marion shrugged, “he wanted something serious and she was just trying things out. Anyways. They were doing whatever and he tried to find her family. Or…I think he did. Almost told them exactly where to find her too. I’ve…I’ve never seen her more upset.”
Marion paused, picking at a hangnail.
“I don’t know exactly what happened in her past,” she finally continued, “but I know enough. And if…if it was anything of what I went through then she deserves to be happy, to have this time and place for her and her kid. You should have seen the look on her face when Chaol said he found her cousin. I swear she was going to leave right then and there, murder him too. She just wants to raise her daughter.”
The words sunk in slowly, taking their time to nestle into Rowan’s brain. He could hear what was left unsaid and come to his own conclusions. It didn’t mean he could trust any of it. Not that Marion or Aelin would blatantly lie about this sort of thing, but they could certainly leave out bits of truth.
“I’m just here for myself,” Rowan said. “I’ll leave as soon as Emrys is back on his feet.”
Marion smiled. “Didn’t you say the same thing about your car?”
She was, unfortunately, right.
“Rowan?” Meiri said, scrambling up from beside that stuffed animal. Crayons went flying as she moved. “I’m hungry.”
He smiled at the little girl with her wild hair and mismatched clothes. Confident and strong just like her mother.
“Alright, let's get something to eat.”
If there was anyone that could keep her child safe from the wiles of the world, Rowan was sure it would be Aelin. He just hoped that one day, maybe, she’d be able to stop running.
…
The heat of Kovac dissipated only slightly when a storm blew in. Instead of being a dry and consuming heat it had turned into a melting pot of humidity. Dust and sand kicked up from wind and the few trucks that were still on the move, leaving everything in a hazy glaze. Adding to that a burst of rain and lightning, the desert felt like a whole new type of misery.
Supposedly, the one thing to come of it all was that there would be no scouting or fighting that day. Rowan wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. For a while now, he’d felt on edge. As if he were always waiting for something to happen--and IED to go off, a sneak attack to occur, something that he couldn’t fix.
He tried to play it cool, to ignore the way his thoughts would latch on to every negative and dangerous thing. Tried to pretend he was being logical in his worry, that he was simply preparing for what may come. It was flimsy at best and a part of him knew it. Ever since the raid last week and the reality that they'd be getting a new commander…Things were changing and Rowan didn’t like it. Lorcan or Gavriel were more than capable leaders and if Maeve wanted to divide the squad, she could just keep Gav in his current position and promote Lorcan. Or even Vaughan. Bringing in a new body now seemed like a stupid idea. Rowan knew better than to argue against Maeve when she had her mind set on something, though. It wasn’t worth the demerit.
He simply tried to keep his frustration at bay. His squad mates had only offered the usual glare in Maeve's direction at the announcement. They each felt the frustration but there was nothing to be done at this point. Not if they wanted to keep things running smoothly.
Unfortunately, they were set to meet Hammel that day. He’d arrived sooner than anticipated, which Rowan would choose to see as a good thing, a way to get into a new rhythm and normal before the next planned raid. In the week since the announcement, Rowan had done his own background check on Hammel. Perhaps it was an abuse of power to call in the favors he did, but he’d wanted to learn everything about the man he could.
He’d spent the last year and a half in Oregon on a small base up there as a trainer. Many of the men he’d worked with had gone on to get accommodations, many even being stationed in Kovac as well. There was a brief incident report of someone breaking into his off base apartment and beating his girlfriend before stealing some cash and the tv. Something about that didn’t seem right, but it was only one report relating to Hammel. He was an excellent marksman and scout but his true skills lied in stealth work.
Officially, Hammel was a good soldier. One of the best.
Unofficially…well. There was only one comment from a young cadet who had been discharged part way through boot camp after “over escalating” a situation between her and a fellow cadet.
Lieutenant Hammel did not take my comments or safety seriously in this investigation. I would formally request placement in another unit. The cadet had instead been honorably discharged before vanishing entirely.
It wasn’t a lot to base his opinion on, but Rowan was already coming to his own conclusions.
So when the official call came in for the Cadre, as they were known by, to meet with Hammel--Rowan did his best to let the irritation fade away.
"Gentlemen," Hammel greeted once they were all seated.
The briefing area was as hot and muggy as ever, settling them all with another level of discomfort.
Lorcan as usual chose a back corner seat, hardly sitting at attention. Gavriel maintained his decorum and the twins were as lanky and childish as ever. Rowan glanced at Talbot who had been whisked into the squad after the last raid and Hernandez transferred him. Rowan didn't know the reasonings, but he liked the kid so he didn't argue.
Before them now, Hammel stood tall and at ease. Though, there was no mistaking the cold silver of his gaze and the harsh lines of his face. His red hair hung to his shoulders and he wore a cold ring on one finger. He didn't seem the least bit concerned with anything but himself.
“I've heard you're undisciplined and like to cause problems." Hammel raised a single brow looking as though he couldn't have cared less about the lot of them. "Not under my command. There have been too many slip ups and unsuccessful raids. These mess ups will no longer happen or I'll make sure the rest of your weeks here are as miserable as your lives."
It was quite the speech, not that Rowan was truly intimidated by it. He'd already experienced hell and this man wasn't going to make things worse.
"We'll start with a practice training tomorrow, no matter the weather conditions, you've got to be capable of working through anything. Sniper!"
Rowan sat up, lifting his chin.
"Only five confirmed kills," Hammel lifted a lip. "Do better."
"None of my men have died in the last two tours I’ve done," Rowan said, "sir. I've protected my men."
That sneer only broadened. "When I give you an order, soldier, you accept it. No arguments."
Rowan only stared at the other man. He fought the urge to gauge everyone else's reactions. Hell, he wanted to see Gav most of all. Gav who’d been their leader for nearly two years now and was being sidelined for someone younger.
Rowan had known war wouldn’t be easy. He’d known he would kill, potentially be killed. He knew his perceptions of life would change and that nothing, nothing, would be the same when he was finished. But to be told to take more lives? To add more chaos into the world?
“Yes, sir.” Rowan didn’t salute. He didn’t move a muscle until Hammel turned the conversation to the next raid that would take place as soon as the storm passed and this time they would see results.
.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Tumblr isn't allowing me to tag blogs properly so any reblogs would be greatly appreciated! <3
#rowaelin#rowaelin month#rowaelinmonth2023#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#rowan x aelin#throne of glass#tog#fanfiction#throne of glass fanfiction
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currently rereading throne of glass and the foreshadowing is off the fucking charts
"'Whether you stay, or go to Antica and attend the Torre Cesme and return to save the world,' she mused, 'you should probably learn a thing or two about defending yourself.'" -Celaena to Yrene in TAB
"'I have no name,' she purred. 'I am whoever the keeper of my fates tell me to be." -Celaena to Dorian in TAB
"Yes, she would go- to Rifthold, to anywhere, even through the Gates of the Wyrd and into Hell itself, if it meant freedom." -Page 19 of TOG
"After that, she'd never sworn to trust girls again, especially girls with agendas and power of their own. Girls who would do anything to get what they wanted." -Celaena after meeting Nehemia in TOG (we all know how that ended)
"'You were brought here- all of you were. All the players in the unfinished game. My friends,' he gestured to the dead, 'have told me so.'" -Cain to Celaena at the duel in TOG
"'Name your price.' The woman studied her from head to toe, sniffing once. 'Nameless is my price,' Yellowlegs said. 'But gold will do for now.'" -Baba Yellowlegs to Celaena in COM
"'Sister,' the spider mused. 'I suppose we are sisters, you and I. Two faces of the same dark coin, from the same dark maker. Sisters in spirit, if not in flesh.'" -The spider to Manon in HOF
"'Brannon was born with the bastard's mark- the mark every unclaimed, unwanted child possessed, marking them as nameless, nobody. Each of Brannon's heirs, despite their noble lineage, has since been graced with it- the nameless mark.'" -Maeve to Aelin in HOF
"'That is why you are here tonight, Manon. Because of the threat you pose to that monster you call grandmother. The threat you posed when you chose mercy and saved your rival's life.'" -The Crochan witch to Manon in HOF
"'I am going, Rowan. I will gather the rest of my court-our court-and then we will raise the greatest army the world has ever witnessed. I will call in every favor, every debt owed to Celaena Sardothien, to my parents, to my bloodline. And then...' She looked toward the sea, toward home. 'And then I am going to rattle the stars.'" -Aelin to Rowan in HOF
starting my QOS reread soon but yea... this woman is a genius
#sjmaas#sjm fandom#sarah j maas#sjm books#throne of glass#crown of midnight#the assassin’s blade#rowan whitethorn#aelin ashryver galathynius#aelin galathynius#celaena sardothien#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#tog#aelin fireheart#yrene towers#nehemia ytger#queen of shadows#heir of fire#tower of dawn#empire of storms#kingdom of ash
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i cannot believe people hate hunt and chaol and the other MMCs are loved when:
rhys assaulted feyre for months, invades her privacy constantly, sent her into the weaver, didn't tell her she was going to die and forbade anybody else including her own sisters from telling her
rowan punched aelin in the face, grabbed her tongue until she was choking on it, bit her until she bled
cassian laughed at nesta falling down the stairs, said he was shackled to her, and forced her to march whilst wearing a heavier bag than him until she collapsed
like????? you love these men but hate:
a man who was enslaved - and is still enslaved, respected bryce's wish for space and no intercourse, who wants to enjoy the same hobbies as her, who tries hard to become part of her family because her parents are really important to her
and a man who grew up in an abusive household but broke that cycle, is driven by morals, was SET UP to drive a wedge between him and Aelin when Nehemia knew she was going to die and was disfigured by aelin when she attacked him, but always strives to do the right thing
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MAJOR TOG SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
read at own discretion
Alright, i have made connections after talking about the British royal family with my parents:
(note: while making this I found out that I was, in fact, an idiot because I thought Orlon and Rhoe were brothers but they weren't so I had to make some last-minute changes that messed up all my thoughts)
Aelin = Queen Elizabeth II
Now you might be like "Excuse me? What drugs are you taking?" But let me explain.
Alright, so starting with Aelin we know that her Great-Uncle, Orlon, was king of Terrasen. Now Orlon had no kids to pass the crown to so Aelin's father Rhoe was heir to the throne. Also, Orlon had a relationship with Darrow.
Queen Elizabeth's uncle, Edward VIII was king of England. Her father was George VI. Edward abdicated the throne because he was in love with an American Actress, Wallis Simpson, a divorced woman (marrying divorcees was not allowed), making Elizabeth's father king. George then died a few years later making Liz the queen.
Anyway! This all originally connected in my mind but then it got a bit muddled but this means that if Adarlan did not attack this series of events would should have happened:
Orlon abdicated the throne to have a lovely relationship with Darrow.
Rhoe became king and ruled for a few years before kicking the bucket and Aelin becomes queen.
Aelin's mother lives for a long time.
Now I hear you thinking "What about the rest of the series. Rowan? Dorian and Chaol? The Witches?" IM GLAD YOU ASKED
Now a few years into her rule, when she was 16, she gets sent on the same journey Arobynn sent her on in Assasin Blade after she freed the slaves. She meets Yrene, Ansel, Ilias, Etc. BUT, she then also meets Sam after the journey when she's in Rifthold before and after leaving (Arobynn sent him to kill her or something). It's during this time that Adarlan attacks. Aedion gets taken as a prisoner of war and Dorian picks him as his champion instead of Aelin. Nehemia teaches him Dorian and Chaol the Wyrdmarks and stuff. Aelin not saving Terrasen turns them against her, plus they think she's dead. She then heads to visit good(not) old Aunt Maeve for help with her kingdom and Maeve is like "You need to get stronger" and sends Rowan to train her.
And now the books can pretty much pick up from Heir of Fire but Aelin is already queen of Terrasen but a "traitor", Aedion is with Dorian and Chaol. AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE DRAMA WHEN SHE MEETS DORIAN AND CHAOL.
In the books, they had the excuse of being children. Now with this story they were grown adults. They "could have done something".
Anyway, thanks for enduring my sleep-deprived visions. I think imma go to bed early tonight. I won't
#throne of glass#aelin#tog#rowan whitethorn#aelin ashryver galathynius#aelin galathynius#dorian havilliard#chaol westfall#yrene towers#yrene westfall#assassins blade#heir of fire#kingdom of ash#manon blackbeak#rowan x aelin
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I enjoyed the ACOTAR books when I read them and love a lot of the characters but I definitely see where people are coming from with their criticisms.
I would say TOG is better though it comes with its own set of problems. And I was kind of enjoying the CC series until the ACOTAR crossover.
I think the main difference, for me anyway, is that TOG and CC felt like they had a lot more meaningful sacrifices. SJM wasn’t afraid of killing off characters.
But who died in ACOTAR? Feyre’s unnamed mother, Clare Beddor, and two unnamed fae. And in ACOMAF? A few unnamed citizens in Velaris, and a mortal queen.
And ACOWAR is perhaps the worst offender with thousands of unnamed civilians and soldiers of Prythian, the bone carver and the weaver who were literally introduced as antagonists, Brennan and Dagda who were also antagonists, three unnamed children of the blessed, Feyre’s unnamed father, the King of Hybern (is he unnamed or is his name literally Hybern?), and the Suriel (the only death that elicited any sort of emotional response from me).
[I’m on a train and don’t have my books to refer back to so forgive me if I got any names wrong, mixed up the books, or missed a death or two.]
Compare this to losing characters like Sam, Nehemia, Gavriel, the thirteen, even Ren (especially Ren) the impact just isn’t the same. And of course a lot of unnamed soldiers and civilians died too, so it just makes sense that with all the battles and bloodshed in all of SJM’s series that we would lose a main character or two, but in ACOTAR we didn’t. Also there’s characters that were already dead before the events of the prequel took place, specifically Aelin’s parents, that we still kind of feel a sense of loss over just because it affects some of the main characters so much and the events of the series as a whole so much.
And in CC there’s Danika, Connor and the rest of their pack, Lehabah, even Hunt’s friends Justinian and Victoria. I don’t recall any deaths in the second one except Cormac and Sophie but that’s where I lost hope for the series anyway, with the ACOTAR crossover.
But I would say my least favourite thing SJM does is try to convince me that her characters “sacrificed” their mortality. Aelin, Feyre, Nesta, Elain, Bryce. I understand that they didn’t necessarily want to be fae but I don’t think becoming one is much of a sacrifice because they were written as so ridiculously superior to humans in every way.
And Amren’s sacrifice could have been a beautifully heartbreaking moment in ACOWAR but was ruined by immediately bringing her back to life. And it also kind of ruined how Feysand came full circle, from Rhys convincing the High Lords to revive Feyre in book one to Feyre doing the same for Rhys in book three, to have another character also come back to life, it just felt overdone. (And of course Feyre died again in ACOSF and so did Nyx but I’m not going anywhere near that god awful book, it was so disappointing). I don’t think SJM even knows what to do with Amren’s character anymore, like oh god you’re slightly less immortal you’ve sacrificed so much for us 🙄.
So yeah, ultimately for me it comes down to how much a book can make me feel something, and TOG achieved this far better than ACOTAR ever could. But even with all that said I still like ACOTAR, I just think TOG is better in terms of what I want from a book.
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ToG Read-a-Long, Crown of Midnight, day 4
24
I’m sorry but I simply love Baba Yellowlegs
That is such a silly name for a witch and I love her
Chaol and Celaena are falling in love, love that for them. He has big Hunt Athalar energy, the more I get to know him the more Hunt-y he feels. (Sometimes I actually feel like every SJM man is exactly the same) (I guess we just have a type)(It’s always, breathtakingly handsome, masculine, stoic, muscular guys, with a lot of love to give and a lot of trauma)(and sometimes they have wings) (I like the ones with wings the most) (Chaol can you please morph into your final form and grow a pair of wings?)
Oh no the girls are fighting… don’t fight girls! You need to remember you love each other!
My ship
My ship is sinking
Nehemia, please, I just wanna hold your hand
I want everything to be alright
25
What’s going on? (It sure does feel vague on purpose)
26
Oh god my fucking heart is breaking so much
My other ship
My other ship is sinking!
Dorian can you and Chaol please realize that a love triangle has three sides and learn to LOVE EACH OTHER AGAIN
Chaol, my dude, you’re already imagining proposing?!? lmao
You’ve been dating for like a week wtf
(I know this is like medieval ish, I know, I shouldn’t be bringing my modern sensibilities into this fantasy novel lol) (but still) (like…. Dude, chill out, what is the rush) (maybe like wait a year before you rush into marriage) (you’re not even being coerced by your parents to continue your lineage) (can you relax, lol)
27
Ok - who took Chaol
I think it’s probably the rebel alliance
(from the note they left)
(But it could also be King Whatever trying to make it LOOK like a rebel alliance)
I DO like that he gets to be the one who is the damsel in distress. Go save him Celaena!
28
Yeah! Hell yeah!
Ah
Wait
29
Oh noooo
Wait - is this the kind of character death where, like, it gets undone in a few pages?
(It’s not permanent. Right?)
(Right?!)
(😭)
30
WOW WTF
THIS CHAPTER IS SO INTENSE
Was she about to strangle Dorian?
Was she about to stab Chaol to death?
GIRL I’M TORN UP TOO BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO WILD AND MURDER ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS
MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK THIS THROUGH
31
THE DUNGEONS
girl
WE’RE FUCKED KALTAIN HAS BEEN IN THE DUNGEONS FOR THE BETTER PART OF 200 PAGES
What’s wings and shadows
Are they fae
Are they shadow wielding boys
*sigh*
Chaol. I don’t even know what to do with you. Can you think of something else besides yourself. You’re allowed to be heartbroken - but like - how is it hard to understand that your girlfriend doesn’t want to be around you when she just lost her best friend so violently.
(I’m not impressed with his pining) (It actually kinda makes me sick)(Grow up, Chaol)
That was a rough read
I am pretty sad SJM killed my princess
Maybe she can be put back together
I mean, it’s happened before!
Maybe she just needs seven high lords to give her a piece of magic…. (Seven high lords??? Can you hurry…)(make her alive again please) (and while you’re at it make her fae)
(This book desperately needs Nehemia)(she’s the best character)
(How long can I stay in denial about this)
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Honestly, it’s not really talked about enough that Aelin is a colonizer. She’s somehow both a white savior, tyrant, and Mary Sue at the same time - lowkey impressive (I really don’t know how SJM managed fit all these archetypes into one character). The whole series is problematic, especially Aelin’s entire character. But what really gets me is Nehemia’s death.
I remember reading the books back in middle school, and even then, I thought it was weird that Nehemia, the only black character, had to die a gruesome death to progress the story line and add to Aelin’s character development. Not only did SJM decide to kill Nehemia, she did it in a unnecessarily violent way.
Nehemia shouldn’t have sacrificed herself for Aelin of all people. Nehemia was way more interesting than Aelin. She’s smarter, more politically savvy, and would’ve made a much better rule than Aelin. But instead, she had to die horrifically all to prop up a colonizer who repeatedly made selfish decisions and threatened to kill those that didn’t immediately obey her.
If the series was centered around Nehemia, it would’ve been a million times better. If SJM didn’t kill Nehemia, the series would’ve been a thousand times better. But honestly all the side characters of TOG were so much more entertaining than Aelin ever was.
SHE REALLY IS ALL THREE!!!!
There's this whole thing with sjm trying to be clever with Aelin's character and intentionally not telling the readers what she's doing off screen which is like, meant to reflect how no one around her even knows what she's doing either until she pulls it out of her ass.
I honestly have so many thoughts about Nehemia but I think its overall just horrible, but Nehemia's death, her people, her suffering, isn't even about her, it's all about how it affects Aelin. Like, there was a way to write this that wasn't whatever sjm spat out. Even if Nehemia "had" (sighhhh) to die, sjm could have taken care to actually expand on how her death wasn't just the death of Aelin's friend, but of a person. She was a princess that affected people around her, and the most sjm could do with that was... slave revolts in Endovier before Adarlan killed every single person there. The ONLY character from Eyllwe we ever get to actually know is Nehemia. We don't even get a scene with Aelin meeting Nehemia's parents or her family or how they even felt about her passing. (Edit: and like, not even just her passing. but the brutalization of her body, of dying a painful death and sighhhhh)
That's only because ultimately, Nehemia was just a tool in Aelin's story and it pisses off every time I think about it honestly. Because sjm never gives the people of Eyllwe peace (in this book where the plot just conveniently falls to Aelin's whim and making her more of a pitiful character for brownie points but)
In CoM, Nehemia dies. In HoF, the slaves revolt in Endovier and are all murdered (and is made Aelin's suffering because she was once a slave there, there's just something sooooo ugh about that because I know sjm thought she was being sneaky with have a white woman bear the chains a black person has historically so that Aelin could somehow play their savior. There's like, a huger discussion here about how sjm didn't have to racialize her fantasy in this way but alas).
In EoS, Eyllwe is literally burning. And in KoA, we get nothing about them. Kingdoms and allies surround Aelin and her victory, her conquest, her journey hard won, and the one person that began Aelin's very narrative to fight isn't even there as a coherent thought.
I agree, but I also feel like Nehemia being a main character is impossible for the person sjm currently is. She doesn't know how to not make herself the center of everything she writes. And that's like, morally neutral I think, but it gets honestly icky when sjm writes about slavery and can't even ponder what it means outside of her self insert white protagonist.
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Age: 93
Species: Demi-Fae (settled)
Animal Form: Large Green Fox
Magic: Haki (all three forms)
*note: Maeve wished to add Zoro to her cabal of warriors. This puts his abilities on the same level as Fenrys, Rowan, and the others. In a one-on-one sword fight with no magic, he can beat all of them.
Born as a demi-fae in Shimotsuki Village, a remote and secluded area hidden away in the mountains Zoro spent his early childhood as an orphan. Both of his parents had died when he was young and since he was taken in by the local dojo, his sensei becoming a father like figure to him. Particularly after the death of his best friend, and the teachers daughter Kuina.
His fae nature gave him superior strength and speed and as he grew the power within him grew as well. Upon his settling, he was one of the few demi-fae to gain a fae form, able to shift into a massive green fox. It was his power though that caused him to catch the attention of the Fae Queen. He had a very rare magic known as Haki and unlike others with this gift who would normally inherit only one or two of its various form, had been born with all three. It was the third form of this power, known as Haoshoku Haki, that drew the Queen's attention for if used properly it could be turned into a weapon against her.
Unwilling to swear a blood oath to a Queen who had never shown any interest in those that couldn't defend themselves or bothers to protect his village, Zoro was finally forced to flee to the West. In pursuit of Dracule Mihawk, who was said to be the greatest swordsman alive.
Traveling the world, though avoiding Wendlyn, he sought out the swordsman Mihawk. Determined to take his title as the greatest in the world and fulfill his childhood promise with Kuina. To make enough money to travel he took up collecting bounties for pirates, assassins, and rouges, earning the title the Demon Bounty Hunter.
Luckily, when magic vanished from the land, he wasn't trapped in his animal form. His features, which didn't show many traits of the fae and could be passed of as human made it easy for him to blend in.
Before her emprisionment in Endovier, Celena and Zoro encountered each other several times. Forming a bond of mutual respect for the others skills and even helping each other a few times. Zoro had been more then happy to lend a hand in the destruction of a certain pirate operation that involved slavery at her side.
It was due to this bond, and a life debt that he owed her, that Celena reached out to him upon learning she was being sent to Wendlyn by the king. Unable to fully trust Chaol because of his betrayal that resulted in the death of her friend Nehemia and fearing for Dorian's safety because of his growing magic she asked Zoro to come and protect the Prince.
And so unknowingly he accepted a role that would cause him to one day find his court, his family, and his true home.
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Review: Throne of Glass
🌶️
Celaena Sardothian is the nation's fiercest assassin. She is removed from prison camp by the order of Crown Prince Dorian, and escorted to the palace by Head of the Guard Chaol Westfall. Dorian and Chaol are bffs and both have their eye on Celaena. Meanwhile, Celaena is thrown into a competition with other assasins and criminals so that the winner is identified as the King's Champion. Celaena is promised that, if she wins, she will earn her freedom after serving as the King's Champion for a few years. So she gets her feet under her during her time at the palace, trains with Chaol, learns some history with Dorian, and becomes friends with Princess Nehemia. While she goes through the competition trials over the course of several weeks, she grows stronger and more aware of the politics at play. She also makes some unique discoveries about the palace and its relation to ancient fae rulers.
---
FMC: Celaena is 18 years old, so tbh a little difficult to relate to on that front. HOWEVER I live for the badass Celaena is!! The trauma she has been through forged an absolute battleaxe of a woman. She is cunning, clever, angry, silly, and flirty. I am a huge fan. Of course, it's important to remember that no one is that self-aware at the ripe age of 18. But this is SJM and fiction we're talking about here, so reduce your expectations.
MMC: Dorian Havilliard is the cheeky, intelligent, good man SJM loves to write. Hot DAMN this man is such a flirt! That, and he always gives Celaena her space and choice. He feels protective over her, but not possessive. As if he cares about her so much that he wants to protect her from threats but won't ever overstep as to suffocate her to protect her. He's always supportive of whatever she does. From reading endless books, to eating 3 pounds of candy, to staying up all night just talking about the world, to GIVING HER A F*CKING PUPPY from his own kennels that he runs. GAH he is such marriage material.
MMC: Chaol's cute. He takes a back seat for the entire book because Dorian takes his chance with Celaena the whole time. But it hurts watching his best friend with the girl he has a crush on. His crush grows as he trains with Celaena. He gets to watch her grow, recovering from being a skeleton to being a fleshed-out woman is very rewarding for him. But something that SJM is SO good at is disguising a good man as one with some red flags -- which I can tell she did in this book. Chaol looks like the protective, broody guy who pines for his best friend's girl. But his loyalties lie with the King: the same man who ordered the brutal execution of Celaena's parents. He grows feelings for Celaena, battles himself when it comes to trying to keep her safe (not knowing where the boundaries are and being deathly afraid to overstep), and is confused about where he should place his loyalties. Which, honestly, I get. But he could handle the situations a bit more gracefully instead of being so paralyzed that he misses his opportunities.
---------
Would I recommend this book? Yes!
The plot is *chef's kiss*. SJM has an infinite imagination, apparently. Plus, her characters are just...f*cking awesome.
This is a young adult book. No spice whatsoever, except for some kissing. So, basically, the whole book is a goddamn tease. Sadly, I suspect the rest of the books in this series will be teases as well. But the plot is so good, so I'll stick it out.
#books and reading#booktok#romance#bookish#booklover#romance books#sarah j mass#sjm#throne of glass#celaena sardothien#dorian havilliard#chaol westfall#nehemia ytger#young adult romance#fictional romance
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Safe Place
rowaelin month day four : librairies @rowaelinscourt
warning: not descriptive nsfw content
Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius could be described as a calm male. Out of all his companions, he probably was the one with the most self-control and he thanked the Gods for it every time one of his friends said something stupid.
However, it didn’t apply when his wife was concerned. Around Aelin, Rowan’s self-control seemed to vanish. She had the ability to get him angry, to become a blushing mess or a soft idiot with just one sentence. There was no control around his mate and it was one of the reasons he loved her.
But when he woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, Rowan lost the little human part he had in himself. Rowan lost all control the moment he smelled a lingering scent of fear. Her fear.
Has she been taken again?
Has it all been a dream? Had he not got her back?
In a second, Rowan was standing, knives at the ready around his waist. He would fight to get her back if he had to. Not having Aelin by his side made him feel like all the air in the world was gone.
Rowan wanted to yell at himself for falling asleep, he should have protected her.
In all the times her Fireheart was in danger, Rowan was never there to protect her. What a poor excuse of a husband and mate he was. He still didn't know why his queen was keeping him and hadn't already thrown him out. He was useless. Completely useless.
He kept complaining because of the royal duties, kept saying he liked being a prince just fine because it didn’t bring him any mess. His only role as King Consort, mate, and husband was to protect Aelin and he had shown the world how bad he was at it. Multiple times.
She wasn’t okay, he could feel her sadness from her side of the bond. Rowan felt like a prick for being relieved at the feeling of her emotions just because it meant she was still alive and not in a damn iron coffin that blocked every chance for them to communicate.
First, he came out of the royal apartments, following Aelin’s faint scent. She had become so damn good at hiding herself with her magic, a trick Fenrys taught all of them. It was a useful skill to have, Rowan was relieved most of the time no one could track her with her scent but he wasn’t tonight. Not when he needed to see her.
Thankfully with Aelin’s condition lately, her scent was stronger which meant she couldn’t cover up all of it. He refused to imagine she had been taken away until he had searched the entire castle twice. She had to be here, somewhere.
He went first to the kitchen, hoping to find her behind the counter, a plate with chocolate cake in front of her. She would look up, fork still in mouth and she would smile guiltily at him. She would apologize, saying she was always so hungry lately and he would shake it off, taking another fork and join her even if he hated cake. Just to show her she wasn’t alone.
But when he opened the door, the kitchen was empty, making Rowan’s heart clench.
Next, he went to the throne room, hoping to find her sitting on her throne, a sad smile on her face she would try to conceal with a smirk. He would ask her what she was doing here and she would tell him she needed to be alone and to feel in power, and what better than her throne to make her feel powerful? But this room was empty too, and Rowan’s heart crushed a little further.
Maybe she was in the inside cemetery, kneeling between both her parent’s graves. She would look up at him and wouldn’t try to hide her tears. She would have a smile on her face, telling him she needed to feel close to them. To be between the two of them without waking up with blood everywhere. Rowan would nod and sit behind her, letting her rest her back on his chest and he would let her cry bringing her all the comfort she needed. But she wasn’t here, and Rowan didn’t know where to look for her now.
If they were in Rifthold, he would probably think she was speaking to either Sam or Nehemia, telling both of them everything about what happened in their court since the last time she spoke to them.
But they weren’t in Adarlan so it left only one place where she could be. His walk to the library was slow, slower than he wished. He could just shift and fly instead of taking all the stairs but if she was there she would make fun of him for it, she had enough to tease him already.
When he arrived at the library, as always, he was dazzled by the splendor of the room. The last time the librarians counted, Aelin and Rowan owned three hundred thousand books and that was a decade ago, just after the construction work was finished.
Aelin had cried and laughed and smiled for hours when she first saw it, walking through all the sections to see every book, then made love to Rowan on the floor, more tenderly than they were both used to, to thank him.
As if seized by a frenzy, Rowan walked like a mad man through the library to find her. He regretted giving her something so big, having to look at every fucking row. There were so many places to hide.
After what seemed like hours, Roan saw familiar blonde hair. He let a sob come out in relief. She wasn't gone. There was no Valg Queen that had pulled her away from Rowan, no, his Fireheart was just sitting on a couch that looked very comfortable, six pillows behind her back.
"Rowan?" She asked, raising her eyes full of concern. "Is everything okay?" Her eyebrows were furrowed.
Instead of answering, he rushed to her side, falling onto her lap to be on the same level as her and scanning her entire body to make sure she was okay and truly in front of him.
His eyes fell on a small scar on her right knee, a scar she had made during one of their training sessions. He remembered kissing the mark every night for weeks when he noticed it after enjoying his wife's goddess body. He hadn't noticed that she was injured during their workout and he felt terrible about it.
Aelin kept telling him he was fussing, but he knew deep down she liked it. She loved to be cherished and protected. He dropped his head to her lap, unable to fight a sob. She put her book aside, sitting straighter and one of her hands found her way in his hair. Rowan hated himself for the tears streaming down his face as he looked up at her, he hated himself even more for the look of agony on his mate’s face.
“Speak to me, please.” She begged him, her hand still playing in his hair.
He swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice even and strong but he couldn’t. “I thought you were gone.” He breathed deeply, trying to calm down and focusing on where he touched her, his hands and arms on her legs. “I woke up to an empty bed and your fearful scent and I panicked.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Rowan.”
“You weren’t supposed to go anywhere either last time but you still did.” He hated the poisonous words the moment they felt his mouth but his mate didn’t seem hurt, knowing anger was his way to cope. “I’m sorry,” He hid his face on her leg, not wanting to see her hurt face.
“Don’t be,” Was the only thing she said as she kept stroking his hair. She was too good to him, she had always been. She had known so much pain her entire life but she was still an amazing person, Rowan didn’t know how much strength it must take her. The Gods knew Rowan lacked that particular strength when the time had come, he had turned into the worst version of himself. He admired his Fireheart.
After a moment, Rowan looked back at her and she smiled, his entire world brightened at this. She was okay, she was right here with him. She was safe.
“How are you?” He asked, feeling selfish for crying when she was the one who had a nightmare.
“We’re both okay, Rowan.” She reassured him as her free hand came to rest on her slightly rounded belly. Rowan’s heart swelled at the sight, he still couldn’t believe it. After years, decades, of trying Azlin was pregnant. She had been glowing for the past four months, even if she said otherwise.
“Is she still kicking?” He asked, one of his hands joining Aelin’s.
“Your son is restless, I hope you slept enough in your life because he’s not going to let us sleep much once he’s here.”
Both Aelin and him had a divergence of opinion on their baby’s sex. Aelin was sure it was a boy, whereas Rowan believed it was a girl. A girl had been their oldest in the vision he had for months when Aelin was gone. It had been too realistic to be a dream, had felt too real.
Yrene knew and had asked them if they wanted to know, but both of them agreed they wanted to keep it secret. They had too many surprises in their lives and none of them had been good, but this one would be. No more surprises unless it’s a good one.
“She’ll be worth every sleepless night.” His lips turned into a smile at the idea of a little Aelin and Rowan.
Aelin snorted. “Wait until you have to change diapers.”
At that, Rowan laughed, soon followed by Aelin. When he saw a hint of sadness in her eyes, his smile faded. “What did you dream of?” He asked, needing to know why his wife had left their room after a nightmare instead of waking him up.
She lost her smile too, her body tenser than moments ago. “Nothing important.”
“Please, tell me.”
She took a deep breath and some time to answer. Rowan didn’t mind, he’d give her eternity if she needed as long as he knew what troubled his wife. He got up, lifted Aelin's legs so he could sit next to her, and then rested her legs on his while he caressed her thighs in comfort. “I was you.”
“With Maeve?”
She shook her head making his confusion grow. She had already told him about nightmares of him being taken on that beach, of him being whipped and tortured for months. He had held her as she cried, as she told him the pain of losing him would have been so much more than the pain she experienced all these months away from him.
“In Arobynn’s cave.” She whispered as tears pooled in her eyes. He wouldn’t take her in his arms, he would wait for her to do it first, no need to overwhelm her. “With your eyes missing, whole body destroyed and a cold body.”
Oh.
Oh.
“Fireheart…”
“Have you ever dreamed of me like that?” She asked and he knew she didn’t mean just dreams of her, dead.
“I did.” He admitted, his heart beating faster at the thought of it. “First in Wendlyn, when you left for Rifthold. Every time I closed my eyes I lived the day I found Lyria over and over again. But it wasn’t her small body that I saw, it was yours. It haunted me for months.” He took a deep breath, controlling his emotions. Aelin was crying, she didn’t need someone else to become a wreck. “Then when you told me you were pregnant, it started again.”
It happened more than he wanted to admit. He knew it wouldn’t happen, it was impossible, but he still could see her dead body in front of his destroyed mountain home.
Aelin didn’t say anything but she straddled him, his hands finding her waist as her fingers slipped through his hair. Her forehead came to rest on his as they both closed their eyes, enjoying each other’s company. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
His hand stroked her back, his fingers drawing the lines of his tattoo he knew by heart now. Every part of her body was written in his mind. “You were sleeping so peacefully, I know it’s rare lately.” Her warm hand cupped his cheek and he sighed in her embrace. “Whenever I don’t feel okay and you’re not around, I come here.”
“The library?”
“Or the theater if I feel like walking.” Which wasn’t a lot lately, his wife’s pregnancy was taking her so much energy they didn’t go to the theater in months. She was always so tired or in pain, he knew she missed it. “Whenever I’m here, I feel so close to you, as if part of your soul was here between these walls.”
His heart clenched at it, he lifted up his head, his lips settled gently on hers. He kissed her languidly, generously, putting as much love and passion as he could. He loved her so much he felt like dying. He would die without her.
Slowly, she began to unbutton his shirt, her tongue continuing to play with Rowan's. The kiss turned from passionate to needy. He needed the reassurance she was here, she was with him, and his mate knew it.
In a matter of moments, Rowan was shirtless and had pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing her naked body. Aelin had gained weight in the years since the war, her body that had once been too thin was now full. She had had a hard time adjusting, she had been starving most of her life. Even during her years with Arobynn, she was always under a strict diet to stay the best. She had never been in a stable enough place for her to thrive.
So when her flat stomach rounded out, thighs grew and cheeks filled out, it was a shock. Rowan had been there to worship her body day and night, reminding her that she was just living, and seeing her happy was the most beautiful thing Rowan had ever seen.
One of Rowan’s hands was teasing Aelin’s sensitive nipple, tearing little cries out of her perfect, delicate, lips. Her hands undid his buckle quickly as Rowan lifted his hips to slide his pants and underwear down, freeing his hard member.
Aelin didn’t waste time before taking him, her hand around him applying just the right amount of pressure. His hand slipped between her legs, directly finding her wet and warm entrance. They moaned together as Aelin’s hand movement quickened and Rowan plunged two fingers in her warmth, hitting that spot inside of her that made her scream every time.
As good as it was, Rowan craved something else, so when he groaned Aelin understood. He pulled out his fingers, bringing them to his mouth to taste her. No matter how many years had passed since the first time, Rowan kept being surprised at how good she tasted. He moaned around his fingers as Aelin teased her entrance with his erection before sinking down, making both of their heads drop back.
Being inside of her had always felt so good, had always felt so right, as if he had been born just to do this. Her belly prevented their chests from touching but Rowan didn’t mind as he ran his hands on every inch of her skin as she started moving.
Aelin kept bouncing slowly on top of him, taking her time as she chased her pleasure, and once again Rowan realized how much he loved her. His Fireheart, his mate, his wife, and his best friend.
He loved her so damn much and he told her so, repeated it over and over again as they both fell over the edge, gripping the other’s skin as they reached the peak of pleasure.
They were both breathless as he lifted her up, pulling out of her and he used his shirt to clean her up. He didn’t want to get dressed not yet, anyway. He lied on his side, tucking his Fireheart next to him. That way, every inch of his front could touch her back. One of his hands came to rest on her belly as he took her book, opening it to where she had left a bookmark.
“What are you doing?” She asked him, her voice sleepy. He used his magic to extinguish most of the candles in the bookstore, leaving only the ones behind him lit to give him some light. "Shhh." He said softly into her ear, moving slightly to be more comfortable, and pulled her even closer to him. "You don't have to come back to reality now." He told her then began to read her book aloud.
He couldn’t see her but deep down, he left her smile as she put her hand against his, both of them holding their baby as they hugged each other.
Aelin fell asleep quickly but Rowan didn’t stop reading, even if after many hours his voice became hoarse and his throat hurt. But if his Fireheart heard him maybe she would know he was still here, even in her sleep.
—————
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#rowaelin month#rowaelinmonth#rowaelin fanfiction#rowaelin#rowan x aelin#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius
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Actually why is Aelin so special? Why is she the main character? Especially when, after the extension from 3 to 6 books to make way for Rowaelin, the plot has nothing do with her anymore? Is it because of her power? But that means nothing if Dorian has raw magic that he can make into whatever he wishes (apparently), so wouldn’t that make him arguably stronger than Aelin? Because it’s certainly not because she’s fighting for the oppressed when she kind of didn’t care for years and then expects to be handed armies and her kingdom despite her not having any leadership skills at all because she was eight. That’s not to negate the fact that… she was eight and grew up to live a horrible life and was afraid to go back, but she really just expected to be welcomed with open arms… for why? She wasn’t doing anything in secret for the good of the oppressed until it became very clear the oppression was knocking at her door… Even though it’s the reason her whole family is dead and the reason for the story anyway. It’s like why is Rhys the most powerful high lord when his powers are the literal same as other high lords?
Let me not say she wasn’t needed for plot because she was to close the gate, but all the other characters do things… for Aelin/Terrasen, and not necessarily to “make the world a better place” because in their definition a better place is Aelin’s way or no go in but why? Why? I know she was healing in HOF, but it took her the genocide of mostly POC slaves to decide she wanted to do something? (Only for her to joke around about colonization two books later, but whatever.) Not anything from her life before she was forced into assassinry? She does nothing but gets all the praise somehow. She didn’t even show up to the battle in her own kingdom until late because she was picking out rings and armor, I mean? Really? That’s the equivalent of Feysand having sex while people are literally dying outside and all for them so why? Why is she so special?
Also sorry if those asks come off as rude, I definitely don’t mean them to be haha! I was just thinking about how all Sarah’s main characters are super OP for no reason
Hello!
I should start this by saying that I love Aelin, Aelin is probably my favorite of all sjm's characters, but I know that opinion is not shared by everyone! I know that her behavior rubs some people the wrong way and I get it, because the things that people say they dislike in Aelin are the things that I dislike in Bryce.
I think you sent this after my Bryce rant, and I see Bryce as a pale, poor imitation of Aelin. Where Bryce has zero motivation and zero awareness of how other people suffer, Aelin is self-sacrificing to an extreme degree. Aelin absolutely did care about others - at 16 she was saving slaves in the one story about her and the pirate dude. Rolf. Sam didn't even know what she was trying to do until he was sucked into her scheme. I can see the argument for her not acting until Nehemia was killed and that feels like a separate issue, but the deaths at the slave camps were 1) not her fault, so it feels odd to use that as a criticism of her, and 2) affected her deeply, but happened when she was already in Mistward training so she could get what she needed from Maeve.
I would argue that Aelin always cared, and felt a deep sense of shame that she was unable to basically be an adult and take care of everyone after her parents' death, even though that was literally impossible for her to do so. She was a child when her parents were killed, and the way that Adarlan took over everything was a massive scar, and something she felt unduly responsible for.
but she really just expected to be welcomed with open arms… for why?
This actually made me think of another question - what would Darrow & Co. have done if Aelin had come to them all shy and downtrodden and meek? Humble? They would have rolled their eyes and been like "great, some fantastic leader we've been strapped with". I can't really see a way that Aelin could have approached her court that would garner their respect. Since she's the heir, I don't think that coming to them and asking for her rightful place would have been a good sign to them because they would probably expect - and want - someone with authority and confidence. I think however Aelin approached meeting them, she was damned either way. She's young, she's a woman, she's been away from the court since she was a child, they have zero reason to trust her. It wouldn't have mattered what she did, so the least she could do was act as if she belonged.
She does nothing but gets all the praise somehow.
She gained alliances and trained with her magic and gathered armies and figured out the magic to break the lock.
She didn’t even show up to the battle in her own kingdom until late because she was picking out rings and armor
Armor is kinda important in battle. Granted I still haven't reread KoA, but it took her quite a while to heal from all the torture and to travel. It's not as if she could single-handedly defeat an army. I just don't see finding wedding rings before battle being the same as having sex while listening to men die. There is a hopefulness in Rowan and Aelin getting those rings, and to me it definitely lacked the crassness of feysand tent sex ft. the blood of dying men.
Also sorry if those asks come off as rude, I definitely don’t mean them to be haha!
Hey, say what you want about fictional characters! I don't take it personally. We all have strong opinions about these things, or else we wouldn't be here!
I do agree with you on the hyperbole re: all of sjm's main characters. They are all so overpowered that often, their power becomes meaningless because it's canceled out by the fact that everyone is also The Most Powerful. Or the Most Beautiful, take your pick. Ultimately, I look past that because the things I enjoy, I enjoy more than the things that annoy me. If that makes sense haha
You are making me want to reread ToG 🤣
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a new addition- rowaelin
AN: okay, a bunch of you guys asked for a part two to this fic so here it is! it’s longer than i meant for it to be and it’s not my favorite but i hope you guys like it- by the way the name eliora is not mine originally- i can’t remember who used it but it was not me so feel free to tag people if you know :)
part one
~~
“And then what?” Her voice was eager.
Aelin shrugged, her lips tilting up into a small smile as she gazed at the green eyes across from her. “Then he kissed me.” Being completely honest, Aelin could remember the kiss as if it was yesterday. Could still feel his hard body pressed against hers and the fading taste of alcohol on his lips.
“Bullshit,” a voice scoffed from behind her. Aelin whirled to face the matching turquoise eyes and she arched a brow, causing him to visibly swallow.
“Excuse you? As far as I recall, I don’t remember you being there.”
Her son shook his head, plopping down on the open area of the couch beside her and taking her feet into his lap. “I didn’t need to be,” he shrugged. “You and Dad tell the story often enough. Everyone knows that you-”
He was cut off as Eliora’s hand slapped over his mouth. “No spoiling, Sammy! I wanna hear the story!” Aelin laughed at her six-year-old and pulled her onto her lap, kissing her cheek as she did so. She gazed at Eliora for a moment; she truly was a beautiful child, even if Aelin was a little bias.
“That’s right, Eliora,” Aelin grinned at her daughter. “And what did we say about spoiling?”
“Don’t do it,” she replied definitively with a firm shake of her head. Aelin couldn’t help but squeeze Eliora a bit tighter as she opened her mouth to continue the story. Her mouth closed as another body entered the living room.
“What are we doing?” Nehemia asked, coming to sit by her twin on the couch. Shoulder to shoulder, Aelin’s eyes stared back at her. Sam rolled his eyes.
“Mama’s telling me a love story,” Eliora gushed to her sister, her green eyes alight with childlike excitement. “The greatest of all time!”
Nehemia gazed at Eliora with pure love, even as she leaned over to whisper something in her brother’s ear. Aelin was just able to hear, “She’s telling it again, huh?”
“I told you we should have gone to Aunt Lys’s house,” was her son’s muttered response. Nehemia snorted, leaning back over the couch until she was eye to eye with Eliora.
“Greatest of all time, huh? Must be a good one.” Her eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint Aelin could only credit to herself.
“It is,” Aelin finally cut in. “And if you would stop interrupting, I would be able to finish it.”
The sixteen year-olds rolled their eyes, gazing at one another in a silent language only they could understand. But Aelin didn’t need to hear their dialogue to understand that they had heard the story enough times. But Aelin couldn’t help it. She just loved telling it. Gazing at the sparkling emerald on her finger, Aelin didn’t think she would ever get sick of telling it.
“So, as I was saying.” She bounced Eliora playfully in her lap until she giggled. “He kissed me and-”
“Aelin Galathynius Whitethorn, you better not be telling my daughter that I kissed you at that party!” Aelin had been so absorbed in her kids that she had barely registered her hulking husband walking into the room. He stood at the door, arms crossed in front of his body as he glared at her, emerald eyes meeting turquoise in a clash of passion. Rowan was still in his work clothes, clearly having just arrived, and Aelin was really trying not to drool at how good he looked with his hair ruffled and his tie undone around his neck.
She threw up her hands with an exasperated sigh.
“Gods, what does a girl have to do to finish a story around here?”
The floor of their living room creaked as Rowan came to sit beside Aelin and Sam on the couch, his gaze never leaving hers. Rowan leaned forward, catching Aelin’s lips with his for a quick kiss before settling back down on the couch. Nehemia immediately rested her head on her father’s shoulder and was rewarded with a warm kiss to the top of her head.
Aelin gazed at them with fondness, love filling her heart. Until her husband’s gaze locked with her own once more, and Aelin smirked.
“You cannot keep telling people that,” Rowan shook his head before turning to their youngest, taking her from Aelin’s lap and shooting his wife an exasperated look. “Eliora, do you remember what Mama and I told you about lying?”
From across from her, Aelin watched Sam snort. He swallowed as his gaze met hers, smile dropping.
Eliora’s tiny eyebrows scrunched up at the top of her head, the look identical to one Aelin constantly saw on Rowan’s face. Finally, she shook her head, gazing up at her father. “It’s… wrong?”
“That’s right,” Rowan smiled down at her. “And we don’t do it. Even if Mama does.” He looked at the gape on his wife’s face before looking down at their daughter once more. “Especially if Mama does.” Aelin stuck her tongue out to her husband, who finally cracked a smile at her. This one sent warmth all the way down to her toes.
“Does this mean Mama can’t finish the story?” Eliora asked, her voice turning sad as she gazed between her family. Rowan laughed, bouncing her up and down before looking at the twins and back at Aelin, an unmistakable look of triumph in his eyes.
“Oh, no no no,” he replied, grinning. “Daddy’s here now. And I’m gonna tell you what really happened. I didn’t want to be at that party, to begin with...”
Aelin didn’t need him to, even if their kids did. She remembered everything about that night. Everything about the days and weeks following she didn’t think she would ever forget them until the day she died. It wasn’t every day you kissed the love of your life at a shitty fraternity rager.
~~
Rowan sat in the kitchen nursing his long since warmed beer. Shitty rap music blared through the speakers around him and it was then that he decided he was better off going back to his dorms before he did something he would regret.
It had been an hour since the kiss. An hour until he had finally gotten to understand what the hype of kissing Aelin Galathynius was. She was a lot of things- but a bad kisser wasn’t one of them. Rowan had sworn to every god imaginable he could handle a kiss with the infuriating blonde. It was just a kiss, right? Just a game.
But her lips had touched his and Rowan knew something was very very different. He hadn’t been able to get the smell of lemon and verbatim out of his senses for the past hour and it was unlikely that he would stop imagining the kiss any time soon.
But it was just a kiss. He didn’t like Aelin Galathynius.
She was annoying, and loud, obnoxious, and rude, and she lived to annoy him.
So why couldn’t he stop thinking of her? Even before the party, after their failed project, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about those damn turquoise eyes.
It wasn’t that he hated everything about her. No- he had noticed the kind voice she would take when talking to Lysandra’s little sister. And he would be a fool not to notice the special smile that lit up her face when she would play with her dog or talk about literature. No, he didn’t hate her. But whatever he did feel was proving to be extremely problematic. Because there was no way she felt the same way.
Yes- it was definitely time to go home.
Making his way out from behind the kitchen counter, Rowan made to leave the kitchen just as the door went flying open. The sound of laughter rang through the door and Rowan stared at the exact person he was hoping to be done with for the night.
“Not likely, Moonbeam,” she was saying with a shake of her head, even though a spark glimmered in her blue eyes. Rowan had to consciously check himself from staring for too long as Aelin realized who was standing in front of her.
Her hand flew to her chest with wide eyes. “Jesus, Rowan, you scared me!”
Rowan thought it was the first time she had ever said his name. He quite liked the sound of it from her lips.
He was staring again. Full-blown staring at the woman in front of him as he contemplated what to say or do. He was coming up blank. Every thought in his mind seemed to be screaming at him at once. Some saying to run- to flee and never come into contact with her again, others saying to grab her and kiss her. All of them agreed she looked breathtaking in front of him. Like a golden angle.
“Ditto, Galathynius,” he managed out, earning a frown from Aelin. The action brought his gaze to her lips and he quickly looked away. Aelin seemed to have changed as well. Gone was the snarky woman who had spilled her beer all over him, replaced with a beautiful woman who he might’ve been friends with in another life.
“Hey, can we-”
“You know you may want to switch to a different conditioner,” he cut her off, saying the first thing he could think of to leave the conversation. “Your hair’s a little dry.”
Aelin gaped at him, her once lidded eyes turning cold and hard as she scoffed, shoving past him further into the kitchen. “Charming as ever, Whitethorn,” she sniped. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
~~
Eliora clapped from her place on her father’s lap.
“It was true love’s kiss!” she cried, earning a laugh from her siblings and parents. It had definitely been something, that was for sure.
“I don’t know…” Aelin mused. “I thought true love’s kiss was reserved for princes, the bravest of them all.” Eliora frowned, as did the twins as their gazes switched to their father.
“I am brave!” Rowan squawked, eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about, Aelin?”
“Why, my dear husband,” Aelin placed her hand on her chest, pretending to be affronted. “It seems you’ve forgotten what happened afterward.” Realization dawned on Rowan’s face before retreating back into a frown. He seemed to hold Eliora tighter as he glared at his wife.
“I haven’t forgotten anything,” he muttered, voice low.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam interrupted his parents from his side of the couch. “What do you mean what happened afterward?” This was a part of the story that neither one of their teenagers had heard before. Whether they were too young to understand it, or it had never come up, the twins were now fully invested in the story.
“Yeah,” Nehemia joined in. “You guys got together after the kiss at the party. That was it, right?” At their parents’ silence, the twins looked at each other before bolting upright in their seats.
“Right?” they asked in unison.
Rowan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. It seemed it was time for a sequel to their family tale.
~~
Rowan was sure there should be a ditch where his feet had paced through the grass in front of Aelin’s dorm. Cursing to whatever gods there were, Rowan forced his feet to stop moving. How was he supposed to apologize to Aelin if he couldn’t even stop pacing from the nervousness of just thinking about it?
It hadn’t taken long after Rowan had left the party for him to realize what an idiotic prick he had been. He had been tempted to drive over to her dorm right then and there and grovel for her forgiveness. But ultimately he had decided against it, choosing instead in favor of avoiding a hangover.
But he was sober now, and an apology was necessary. More than necessary.
He had apologized to people before. He had begged his professors for extensions and apologized after a falling out with an old friend. But he had never planned on asking out any of the people he had been apologizing to. Two days and Rowan had refused to talk about the kiss with anyone. To be honest, he had tried to forget about it himself.
But it seemed it was destined to never leave his mind for the rest of his existence. And as he played the kiss back in his mind, he couldn’t say he minded it. It had been a rude awakening to realize he may have had feelings for Aelin Galathynius. To go from loathing the girl in his chemistry class to suddenly picturing her face everywhere was a big change, and Rowan didn’t know what to do about it.
Rowan wasn’t stupid. Aelin Galathynius was a beautiful person. Gorgeous looks aside, the woman had a pure heart of fire and gold. Of course, he had noticed this in sullen silence, but that wasn’t the point. He could acknowledge her wicked intelligence and her need to fight for something that was important to her. And he knew that she loved unconditionally.
Whether he liked it or not, he had kissed Aelin back, and that had been all him.
He wanted to do it again.
“Fleetfoot, slow down! Hang on a second Lys- Fleetfoot, no!” Rowan whipped around as he heard Aelin’s voice come from behind him. Sure enough, the golden beauty walked along the sidewalk to her dorm, dog leash in hand.
She was dressed in a university sweatshirt and leggings that showed off the curve of her legs, so much so that Rowan was forced to look away. Her phone was between her ear and shoulder as she spoke with who Rowan assumed to be Lysandra. He held back a smile as the massive golden retriever yanked her along the road, apparently following a particularly interesting squirrel.
“I’m telling you, Lys,” she was saying as she came closer, clearly still not seeing him. “It’s not li-” Her feet came to a sudden stop and Rowan’s head snapped up to see her gaze was already on his, eyes wide. Aelin opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Rowan couldn’t find he had anything to say either. Her golden hair ran down her back and Rowan found himself fighting the urge to twirl a strand of it around his finger. She really was breathtaking.
“Lys, I’ll call you back,” she said, eyes not leaving his as she took the phone from her shoulder and ended the call. “Rowan? What are you doing here?”
It was his turn to struggle for words. How would he even bring it up? A week ago the two were on nothing more than insulting terms. She had infuriated him- had tried every nerve in his body and every bit of anger he had. But now…
Aelin’s brows were raised in anticipation. Are you going to answer?
Rowan coughed, finally thrown out of his reverie. Who was he kidding? Aelin didn’t want to go on a date with him? Aelin didn’t want to go anywhere with him. And he couldn’t blame her. Rowan had been nothing but a prick to her since the moment they had met, and it was truly coming back to bite him in the ass.
“Uh, Aedion told me he left something in Lys’s room.” The lie rolled off of his tongue easily enough, yet he hoped Aelin would be able to see through it. It seemed that she didn’t.
“Oh,” she said, understanding and almost shame clouding her words. “Right. What is it? Do you wanna come inside to find it?” Aelin’s dog sat obediently at her heels, looking between the two college kids in silent wonder.
Yeah, dude, Rowan wanted to say. I don’ know what’s happening either.
“No,” he shook his head. “It’s Aedion’s problem. I just thought I could find it before class started but I think it’s too late. He’ll come around later for it.”
“Right,” Aelin said doubtfully, crossing her arms in front of her body and looking at him.
“Right,” Rowan repeated back to her, causing Aelin to raise another brow. He wanted to push it back down. “Well, I’m gonna go- get to… class. So- bye Aelin.” He was gone before she could say anything else, giving her his back and practically sprinting back toward his side of campus.
Rowan Whitethorn was an idiot. He knew it. But one look from Aelin and the cold fear that had rushed through his body had him wanting to curl up into a ball and never speak to her again. But he had to. Rowan would have to talk to her again if he was going to find out who was truly behind those stunning blue eyes.
But even at the thought of speaking to her again-
~~
“Hold on, hold on, I know where this is going,” Nehemia interrupted her father before he could continue his sentence. “You avoided her didn’t you?” As Rowan’s cheeks flamed, Sam sat upright in his seat, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“No way. You avoided her?” Aelin cackled as Rowan grumbled something under his breath, earning herself another glare. Nonetheless, Aelin tucked herself under her husband’s arm, reaching up to plant a kiss on his cheek. He seemed to soften at the touch, green eyes meeting hers in a look so full of love Aelin thought she might explode.
“Well, what is it, old man?” Sam prompted. Rowan scowled at his son and daughter, both of who looked ready to pass out from restrained laughter.
“Only for a couple of weeks,” he muttered lowly.
“A COUPLE OF WEEKS?” Sam exploded, his laughter finally ringing out through the house as he fell back into the couch, holding his stomach. Nehemia glared at her brother and poked him in the stomach. It didn’t seem to matter as Sam sat up, still grinning. “And you call me a coward for not asking Asterin Havilliard out.”
“You are a coward for not asking Asterin Havilliard out,” Rowan shook his head, running a hand down his face. Nehemia nodded, offering her father a high five which he quickly returned. She was such a daddy’s girl.
“It’s true honey,” Aelin cut in, even as her son glared at her. “Dorian knows she likes you.”
“The world knows she likes him,” Nehemia said, exasperated. “Now get back to the story. Mom,” she turned to Aelin. “Did you know Dad was lying about having places to be?”
Aelin snorted, running her hand through the hair at the nape of Rowan’s neck which seemed to be even redder than it had been moments before. “Of course I did. His excuse was that he had to go to class. It was Sunday.”
It was Nehemia’s turn to crackle now and Rowan looked downright offended. It wasn’t often that his oldest daughter wasn’t on his side. Aelin leaned into Rowan’s shoulder, delight running through her body as he placed a chaste kiss on her temple.
“You’ll pay for this,” he mumbled into her hair.
Her eyes said it all. I’m looking forward to it, Buzzard.
“What happened? What happened?” Eliora’s voice dragged Aelin back to the present. She was sure her youngest had no idea what was going on at this point in the story, but Rowan continued nonetheless.
~~
It was three weeks before he saw her again. Three weeks of avoided group hangouts and staying in his dorm room during parties. Three weeks of taking a longer route than normal to all of his classes, and three weeks of wishing he could speak to the girl he couldn’t get out of his head.
Rowan was sitting at a picnic table in the middle of one of the university quads, textbook open and highlighter in hand. He hadn’t actually understood any bit of what he had read, but at least it looked like he was doing something. And it seemed to be working pretty well for his other problem.
“Fleetfoot, get back here!” Or not.
Rowan tried not to draw attention to himself as Aelin ran past his table, after the massive bundle of golden fur that was running away from her. He watched as she chased her dog around the quad, finally giving up as she layed on the ground, arms splayed wide. It wasn’t long before Fleetfoot was back and licking her face.
He felt Aelin’s laugh all the way to his heart.
~~
“Ten bucks says he grows a pair and asks her out.” Sam had long since abandoned his spot on the couch in favor of sitting on the ground to watch his father intently as he told the story. He had muttered the words to his sister, whose feet were right by his head. She too was looking at her father intently.
“Twenty says he keeps ignoring her until happenstance pushes them together.”
Rowan rolled his eyes at his children, even though the spark in his green eyes showed he was more than amused. “Your mother was right. It is impossible to finish a story in this house.”
“Gods,” Sam said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe my dad was such a pus-”
“Let’s see how fast I can ground you,” Rowan cut him off with a stern look to the child in his arms who seemed to be on the verge of sleep. Sam smiled sheepishly.
“My bad.”
“Will you shut up so he can finish the story?” Nehemia glared at her brother.
~~
“Alright,” Aedion slammed his hand down on Rowan’s helmet, sending a large clattering sound through his head. Rowan scowled at his best friend, shoving him away. “What the fuck is going on between you and my cousin?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rowan turned back to his bag, shrugging off his helmet and shoving it into the massive pack before taking a sip of his water bottle, all while ignoring Aedion and those eyes that reminded him so much of the ones he truly wanted to see.
“Don’t bullshit me, Rowan,” Aedion snapped at him, forcing Rowan to face him. “The two of you have been skirting around each other for the past three weeks and Aelin won’t even come to parties with us anymore so what. Happened.”
Rowan stopped. Aelin hadn’t been going to parties? Had she been avoiding him as much as he had been avoiding her? He looked at his best friend and shrugged.
“We kissed. During spin the bottle.”
Aedion looked at him for what seemed like minutes before bursting into uncanny laughter.
“Damn,” he wheezed out. “That’s it? Well, it’s about time.”
“Excuse me?” Rowan growled, and Aedion stopped laughing.
“You know what I mean, man. It’s about time. All those years when you two would look at each other and glance away before the other noticed. Or when you defend each other when the
other isn’t there- yep, don’t think I didn’t notice that. I think we can all agree that it’s about time.”
Rowan shook his head, incredulous. Other people had noticed that?
“No, Aedion,” he sighed. “Aelin hates me. She wants nothing to do with me.” Aedion stared at him again before, shaking his head.
“Ro, man, you are such an idiot sometimes.”
“You know, Aedion. Saying cryptic shit and expecting other people to understand you doesn’t help anyone,” Rowan snapped, his patience thinning. Turning back to Aedion, he found his eyes glued on something behind him.
Rowan’s heart stopped. There was no way.
But sure enough, Rowan turned around to meet the gaze of a gaping Aelin Galathynius. She held a tennis ball in one hand and Fleetfoot circled the ground at her feet. Clearly, the dog had chased the ball into their field and her owner had eventually followed. At the worst timing imaginable.
“Aelin-” Rowan started, but she was already gone, whirling around and sprinting out of the stadium, the golden retriever at her heels. He didn’t think before following after her. “Aelin, wait!” he called after her, forcing his legs to go faster.
It turned out that Aelin Galathynius was quite fast when she wanted to be, and Rowan only caught up to her when she was standing in front of her dorm building. She didn’t need to turn around for Rowan to know she was fuming.
“Gods, what do you want, Rowan?” she glared at him, her voice ice. “Haven’t you already proven your point?” Rowan wanted to grab her and shake her.
“Proven my- what? Aelin I-”
“Look you made yourself very clear at the party, alright?” she snapped, turning away from him. But Rowan’s arm shot out, catching hers before she could leave and forcing her to look at him. “I get that Aedion can be nosy at times but you were so out of line, Whitethorn.”
The confused look on his face must have been painfully obvious. Aelin rolled her eyes. “Look, if it was just an act to shut Aedion up, I-”
Rowan kissed her.
This woman. This annoying, infuriating, intelligent, beautiful woman. She was absolutely astounding. And she thought he somehow hadn’t noticed that.
Rowan wanted to remember the feeling of her lips on his for the rest of his life. Wanted to bottle the sound of the small gasp she released before melting into the kiss. He wanted to mold their bodies together until there was no room left. Rowan wanted to feel her soft hair between his fingers and the feeling of her hands in his hair until the day he died. He never wanted to let her go.
This time when the two pulled back, Rowan kept her close to his body with an arm around her waist. Her arms were still around his neck and Aelin gazed at him through wide eyes. Before she could say anything, Rowan kissed her again, this time lingering. She kissed his smile with her own.
“It was never an act.”
~~
“Well it seems to me that Fleetfoot is the true heroine of the story,” Nehemia grinned, petting the head of her own puppy that sat at her feet next to Sam. “Without her, you two would never have met again. Oh, and I won, by the way Sammy. Pay up.”
“That’s my girl,” Rowan grinned, pride shone over his face at his daughter’s antics regardless of her win being at his expense. Sam practically growled as he handed his sister a twenty-dollar bill.
“Oh, don’t be sad, Sammy,” Aelin comforted her son, holding her arms out until he rolled his eyes and walked over to give her a hug. “Ask out Asterin and your kids won’t do the same thing to you,” she whispered, earning a dark red blush on her son’s cheeks.
She shared a knowing look with Rowan, unable to resist reaching up and kissing his lips once more. Rowan returned it in kind, grinning when she nipped playfully at his bottom lip.
“Boo!” Nehemia called from her spot on the couch as Sam yelled, “Get a room!”
Aelin turned to Rowan once more, unsurprised to see his gaze already on her. “Remind me why we keep them?” Rowan’s laugh rang out loud as he pulled Aelin close to his body. Her head landed on his shoulder and she sighed in content.
“Because we’re cute,” Nehemia supplied. “At least, one of us is.” She gazed at her little sister who had long since fallen asleep on her father’s lap.
It seemed that their entire reason for telling the story had fallen asleep long before her father had finished telling it. There was no doubt that Eliora wouldn’t remember any bit of the story when she woke up.
“She’s too young to understand the story yet,” Nehemia said, brushing back a piece of her little sister’s hair with astounding gentleness.
“So what do we tell her when she’s old enough?” Aelin asked, cherishing the kiss that Rowan placed on her head and unable to contain the insurmountable love in her heart as her kids responded.
“Oh, Mom’s version, for sure. It’s way better.”
~~
taglist:
@story-scribbler
@rowaelinismyotp
@live-the-fangirl-life
@claralady
@surielandiareendgame
#aelin galythinius#rowan whitethorn#aelin#rowan#aelin x rowan#rowan x aelin#rowaelin#rowaelin fic#rowaelin au#modern au#rowaelin fanfiction#tog#sjm#throne of glass
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Motel Living
this idea would not leave me alone, despite me having like three other fics barely done. it is very random. i dont even know what to say lol.
2554 words
enjoy!
Today was officially the one month anniversary of Aelin moving into a three-star motel. She did not think she'd be here for long, a couple of weeks at most, but here she was a month later, and on a Friday night no less. She should have been out with her friends, but she opted to stay inside.
She had to tell herself that she shouldn't complain. That there were people that were worse off than her. Living in a motel was fine.
But it still didn't change the fact that Aelin wished she wasn't living in a motel room. Especially one that was popular with long haul truckers whose snores sounded like chain saws and blenders on the highest level. That right now, down in the restaurant/pub that was only six doors down, an important football game was playing and the patrons inside were cheering wildly.
Aelin missed the house that she had been renting the last three years. Last year she had decided to start saving so that she could purchase the house itself, since it was still on the market since the day she moved in. It was hard, but Aelin was a determined woman and she set her sights on purchasing the house—she felt like she practically owned it anyway—up until the day she received a call from the real estate agency telling her that the house had been purchased and she had to move out.
Aelin disliked crying, but the waterworks started the minute she hung up. She really did love that house. Had created a small vegetable and herb garden to make it feel more homely. Made it hers in the three years she had occupied it.
There was a tiny silver-lining, however, since the new owners were coming from the other side of the continent, she had plenty of time to pack and move out.
But that silver-lining quickly disappeared once she started her search for a new home in-between packing and work. Every apartment, every house, every unit she looked out at was taken by the time she handed in her application. Every inspection starting to become fruitless when she knew that she wouldn't be the one to live in it.
Aelin hadn't realised that the market had become so cut-throat. She knew she was the perfect applicant because in all her years renting she never missed a single day, never received a complaint. Even when the landlord dragged his ass to fix something, Aelin kept her temper in its leash and did not throttle him the way she wanted too.
And as her luck ran out and Aelin had started to truly worry about where she was going to live because while she had multiple people in her life, she quickly realised that she couldn't ask any of them if she could move in for multiple reasons:
Aedion and Lysandra were recently married, and Aelin hadn't wanted to burst their newlywed bubble.
Chaol and Yrene were brand new parents, their baby girl born the day Aelin moved out, and she knew the last thing they wanted was someone else in the way.
Nehemia was in the same position as her, but her parents had invited her back home while Nehemia looked for somewhere else. Aelin's parents were dead, and her childhood home had been destroyed in a wildfire a five years ago, and Aelin had used the insurance money to pay off her debts. She cursed herself now for doing that, but Aelin hated being in debt and she did what she had too.
Fenrys lived in a one bedroom unit and had the worlds most uncomfortable couch, so he was out. And while Fenrys was one of her best friends, she didn't really talk with Connall, his twin. Nor did she often talk with Vaughn.
Dorian and Manon were travelling all over Erilea and Dorian's younger brother Hollin was house-sitting. Aelin couldn't stand Hollin for more than a few minutes at a time and she would rather live in the motel for a year than live in with him.
And then there was Rowan. He had been a close friend for years, until five months ago they decided that they had liked each other too much to keep being friends and officially started dating (at Lysandra and Aedion's wedding, of all places). If they had been together for longer, she would have asked him—but she didn't want to rush anything, because Aelin could so clearly see a future with him and she didn't want to hurt that future by moving in far too early in their relationship.
So that left Elide, her lifelong friend that was more like a sister. Elide was purely on the bottom of the list since she knew her friend cherished living alone after living in a shit-hole with her even shittier uncle—but Aelin knew Elide and if Aelin needed a place to stay, then Elide's door would be wide open. The two had gone to lunch and Aelin had been just moments away from telling Elide everything and asking for a world changing favour.
Until Elide had excitedly announced that Lorcan was going to move in.
And Aelin's plan had deflated. Again, Aelin knew that if Elide was aware of how desperate she was, Elide would invite Aelin to stay, but since Lorcan and Aelin didn't particularly get along, Aelin kept her mouth shut and congratulated her friend for the new milestone in their relationship.
So, all her options completely exhausted, Aelin looked for vacant motels, found that this was the best out of all the options and became a long-standing tenant.
Aelin had managed to keep everyone away from her new apartment by claiming that it wasn't ready for visitors. Most knew that Aelin was house-proud, a trait that she had inherited from her late mother, so they knew that when Aelin was ready, she would invite them.
It was getting hard, however, to keep Rowan away. Each date night and hang out ended up at his apartment and Rowan was becoming curious as to how her new place was looking.
Rowan wasn't judgemental, and he wouldn't look down at her for living in a motel room, but Aelin was the problem; she was too proud to show him her new place. Even when she was at her lunch with Elide, she had to beat down her pride at just the mere thought of asking Elide if she could move in.
Tonight, however, Aelin knew in her bones that Rowan would ask to come over. He had a completely shitty day at work—one that ended up in the hospital because for the first time in his career as a carpenter, Rowan had somehow gotten his hand in the way of his nail gun and shot right through the middle of his palm and was off work until it healed, which Rowan hated the most out of the whole ordeal, since Rowan was the type of person that always had to be doing something.
So when his face finally popped up on her phone screen, Aelin muffled a groan into her pillow (because there was no way in hell she was using the standard sheets the motel provided, she needed her bedding or she wouldn't get any sleep), took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto her face.
“How's the hand?” she asked by way of greeting.
“It'd be a lot better if there wasn't a hole in it,” was his groggy reply. “I just woke up from the longest nap and thought of you.”
“That's sweet of you to say,” Aelin said, “do you want me to come over? I could cook you my world famous grilled cheese.” Please say yes, she thought, please.
“As much as I love the sound of that, I just need to get out of my house,” Rowan said, “I know that you're house-proud and if you don't want me to see it, I understand, I'll even wear a blind fold if that'll make you happy, but I just...” he trailed off and Aelin could see his pained expression even though they were miles apart.
“Seeing all your work tools is making you miserable,” she supplied. Rowan grunted in confirmation. Taking a deep breath, Aelin said, “You can come over, I don't mind. I'd be happy to see you.” And she would be. She'd just have to kick her pride in the corner. “There's a pub right around the corner from mine and the cheeseburgers they have are really fucking good, and I mean that sincerely. Do you want me to get you one? Because I only have snacks and canned food at the moment.”
“A burger sounds good, with extra tomato, please.”
Aelin smiled. “Of course, I'll text you the address, and I'll see you soon.”
After ordering their dinner, Aelin tidied up (even though the space was immaculate) and waited, and waited. When a gentle knock sounded at her door, Aelin took the food from the restaurant worker and was just about to go back in when Rowan's truck pulled up.
Even ten car spots away, Aelin could see his puzzled expression from where she stood. Placing the food on the small, round dining table, Aelin waited by the door and gave Rowan her best smile when he stood in front of her.
His puzzled expression melted away momentarily when she kissed him hello, but it was back in full force when they pulled away.
“Fireheart,” was all he said, and it said everything that he didn't say.
“I know.”
“You're living in a motel room.” There was no judgement in his voice, like she knew there wouldn't be, but it was clear that he was confused about the whole thing. She should have just told him. She loved her late mother, but really hated the fact that she had passed her pride to Aelin. She hated the fact that, deep down, she was embarrassed, even if Aelin told herself that she had no reason to. The housing market was insane, there was no where else for her to go, and that she hated herself for not saving more money to buy her home of three years.
“I am,” Aelin said, “but it's not so bad. It's affordable and clean.” Aelin invited him inside and sat him down the small dining table.
From his spot, he took in the space. Saw the bar fridge that could barely hold a bags worth of cold food, her toaster oven and the dual butane stove she had to purchase because she didn't want to have to use the toaster oven all the time. The tiny closet that held a decent amount of clothes, but didn't make a dent in her considerable mountain of clothes that she had put away in the storage unit she was renting.
None of her candles were in sight and no books either. Aelin was taking full advantage of her library apps, but it wasn't the same. Aelin loved the feeling of a book in her hands, but there was no space and it would have been silly to bring in her bookcases.
“Where's all your stuff?”
“In a storage unit. I considered living in there, but it doesn't have an air-conditioner and this place does.”
Before Rowan could say anything, Aelin turned on the TV, put on whatever movie sounded dumb enough and ate her dinner.
Aelin could see the question burning in his eyes as she stuffed her mouth to avoid answering that very question.
Why didn't Aelin ask if she could stay with him?
Aelin wanted to tell him, she really did, but was afraid that if she showed how serious she was, Rowan might admit that he wasn't as serious as her.
But Aelin knew herself, knew that she was going to tell him at one point or another. She could tell Rowan anything and he wouldn't flinch. It was her own doubt stopping her.
“That really is the best burger I've ever had,” Rowan said when he was finished.
“It really is,” was all Aelin could think of to say. Gods, she felt so damned awkward. The question was still in Rowan's eyes, even as he laughed at the movie and its stupidity. So to avoid it for a bit longer, Aelin took the take-away boxes into the dumpster outback and immediately went for a shower afterwards.
When she came out, Rowan was lounging on her bed, his injured hand laying across his chest, the other arm fiddling with her comforter. Aelin dressed in a shirt that she may have borrowed without asking from Rowan and a pair of sleep shorts.
Borrowing underneath her comforter, Aelin rested her head on Rowan's chest and the awkwardness she felt deflated a bit as he pressed a kiss on her head.
Aelin told him how she ended up here. Including her embarrassment and annoyance at herself. Rowan listened attentively, as he always did. That was one of the biggest things she loved about him, that he listened. And Aelin was in love with him, she knew without a doubt. She was certain she fell in love with him when he danced with her at Aedion and Lysandra's wedding.
When the credits started to roll, Aelin took a deep breath and decided to plunge into uncharted territories. She kept her eyes glued onto the screen.
Aelin decided to bite the bullet. If it all went to hell, she would beat herself up later.
“I don't want to fuck things up with you.” Well, that wasn't how she wanted to start this conversation, but she supposed it was the best way to start off. “I wanted to ask you if I could move in, but our relationship is just so new, and I didn't want to ruin our future, because I can see a future with you, Rowan.” Moving so that she could look Rowan in the eye, Aelin took the deepest plunge imaginable and told him, “I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.”
The smile he gave her was the most beautiful she'd ever seen. “I love you, too, Aelin.” Reaching down to kiss her, all of Aelin's doubts melted away. When he pulled back, Rowan said softly, “If you wish to ask, I'll say yes. Because I see a future with you too. You're the one for me.”
“Rowan, can I move in with you?”
He kissed her again. “Yes, you can.”
Aelin's cheeks were started to become sore from all her smiling. Maybe it was a good thing after all that she ended up living here.
Hours later, after another bad movie and celebrating the new milestone in their relationship (which was mainly Aelin laughing as she rode Rowan because he kept forgetting about his injured hand), Aelin and Rowan got ready for bed, and as Aelin rested her head on his chest again, she said, “Just to let you know, I'm going to replace your mattress for mine, because yours is hard as stone.”
“That's exactly why I'm letting you move in, I'm in the market for a new mattress.”
Aelin playfully whacked his chest and muttered what a buzzard he was, but soon fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for her future with Rowan.
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Really tried of "SJM killed Nehemia off because she is racist"
This has always been the dumbest argument to me, if you've only read Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight, sure, but if you've read at least one whole SJM serial you would know that it's bullshit.
Do you know what's the thing she does amazingly, she writes people of color like any other character. Race does not play any role at all in her books.
Character sacrificing themselves for their friend (or as people simply say being killed off):
Nehemia - dark brown-skinned woman
Asterin - light-skinned woman
Woman with a preference for women:
Hasar - brown-skinned woman
Mor - light-skinned woman
First love interest:
Hunt - brown-skinned man
Tamlin - light-skinned man
Woman that saved the whole freaking world:
Yrene - brown-skinned woman
Aelin - light-skinned woman
Heroine:
Bryce - brown-skinned woman
Feyre - light-skinned woman
Characters that struggle with their self-worth:
Cassian - brown-skinned character
Elide - light-skinned character
Bisexual man:
Helion - dark brown-skinned man
Aedion - light-skinned man
Gay man:
Thesan - brown-skinned man
Darrow - light-skinned man
Ruler of the country:
Tarquin - brown-skinned man
Kallias - light-skinned man
Strong male character that appeared like an asshole at first but is good deep down:
Lorcan - dark-skinned man
Eris - light-skinned man
Man with a physical disability:
Chaol - light-skinned man (he is not exactly light as in pale but he is closer to a white man than a black man)
Lucien - brown-skinned man
SA survivor:
Rhysand - brown-skinned character
Gwyn - light-skinned character
Horribly abused by a parent/caretaker
Azriel - brown-skinned character
Manon - light-skinned character
S*xist asshole:
Devlon - brown-skinned man
Beron - light-skinned man
I could go on and on... You don't have to like her writing but calling her racist makes no sense.
Also I've seen people complain of her using the word "tanned" and I wanted to touch on that subject for a sec.
Guys, there are 100+ skin tones.
First of all, sun-tan and natural tan are NOT the same things, people are not exclusively ghostly pale or the darkest shade of brown.
People tend to assume, idk why honestly, that she uses "tan" for every character that is not pale. She described various characters with different variants of saying they have darker skin:
Rowan and Dorian - tanned
Thesan and Varian - brown
Kaltain and Nehemia - creamy brown
Drakon and Myriam- honey-brown
Yrene and batboys - golden brown
Helion and Ghislaine - dark brown
#sarah j maas#pro sarah j maas#sjm#pro sjm#throne of glass#acotar#hoeab#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#dorian havilliard#chaol westfall#aedion ashryver#lucien vanserra#helion#rhysand#cassian#azriel#kallias#tarquin#yrene towers#yrene westfall#nehemia ytger#thesan#feyre archeron#tamlin#bryce quinlan#hunt athalar#house of earth and blood#cresent city#kaltain rompier
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rowaelin the only single person in the friend group?
AN:Enjoy!
The Singles Club Isn’t Always Lonely
As Rowan entered the local bar, he shook rain from his coat and hair. For the past two days it had seemed like constant cloud coverage lingered and that meant rain. Not that Rowan particularly minded the rain. It just grew tiresome. He had yet to find a reason to fully rejoice in it.
He waved to Brullo, the bartender, and headed back to the usual table where he and his friends usually took over. Indeed, Vaughan and Connall were seated drinks in hand and in deep conversation about something. Gavriel and Fenrys were shooting darts—Gav wiping Fenrys’ ass with the score. Though Fenrys was always more in it for the social aspect than the competitive nature.
“Well, look who finally showed up,” Connall called when he looked up to see Rowan crossing the bar towards them.
Shooting his friend a vulgar gesture, Rowan took a seat in one of the stool and drew a freshly opened beer towards him.
“I should ask you all the same question,” Rowan grunted. He took a swig of beer and sighed. “Between wives and girlfriends, I thought you’d all bail on meeting up.”
“Hell, no!” Fenrys shot a wild dart and came to sling an arm over Rowan’s shoulder. “Tradition. As Asterin so lovingly reminds me, I need to spend more time with you losers. I think it’s just so she can go to the shooting range with Manon and Elide, but you know.”
“Nehemia says that I’m hovering,” Connall said. “As if I can hover. She’s seven months pregnant, I should be allowed to be concerned.”
“You��ve texted six times in the last half hour, man,” Vaughan said. He pointed meaningfully to his friend's phone.
Connall scowled. “Concerned.”
“Hovering,” Rowan said. He took another drin.
“You have to let her live her life still, Con,” Gavriel said. He plucked the round of darts from the board and turned back to his friends. “When Endara was pregnant with Aedion she and Evalin would go on week long spa getaways.”
Connall looked absolutely horrified. “But—”
“No,” Gavriel insisted. “Space and foot rubs.”
“That contradicts itself,” Connall muttered.
“Just saying,” Gavriel said.
Sometimes, Rowan found it hard to believe that Gavriel had a son their same age. Sometimes, Rowan found it hard to believe that Gavriel was as old as he was. Of course, he would never say it to the man’s face. Because getting his ass kicked was not on his list of things to do.
“This is why Rolfe and I communicate,” Vaughan said. He grabbed Connall’s phone before he could check it for a nonexistent text.
“You and boyfriend have a very strange definition of communication,” Fenrys said. “You also need to lock your front door.”
“You need to knock,” Vaughan said unapologetically.
Rowan rolled his eyes at his friend's antics. “Where’s Salvaterre? Why am I on the chopping block.”
“Because he texted,” Vaughan said emphatically, “that he would be late.”
“Elide had an important meeting at work and he wanted to take her out for ice cream after,” Fenrys grumbled. “They’re almost as disgusting as Conn and Mia.”
“See,” Rowan finally spoke up, “this is why I am remaining single.”
The group groaned, throwing peanut husks at him while telling him to grow up. Rowan simply laughed. It was a conversation they’d all tried to have with him. Get a girlfriend Rowan. Go out on more dates Rowan. You work too much Rowan.
He knew they were just giving him a hard time. For the most part. But he also couldn’t help but let the words dig into his skin.
They’d miraculously been through a lot together. Despite the age differences between them all, something had drawn them together with a love of history, hand-to-hand combat, and drunken nights of poker.
“Hey, assholes!” Lorcan entered the bar and exchanged a few words with Brullo before coming to the table.
“‘Bout time, man,” Connall called. He kicked a stool out for the other man.
“I was supporting my girlfriend,” Lorcan said, “shouldn’t you be with your wife?”
“Shouldn’t you be asking Elide to marry you?” Connall shot back.
Lorcan launched into a coughing fit just as he took a drink of beer. “What?”
“It’s been two months and all we’ve heard from you is how great this girl is. Coming from you that’s practically a wedding announcement,” Rowan added, grinning fiendishly when Lorcan’s face heated
“Yeah, you know, speaking of relationships, I haven’t seen you taking anyone out lately,” Lorcan groused.
Before Rowan could either shoot Lorcan the finger or snark back to him, Brullo arrived with another round of beer.
The rest of the night passed in easy conversation punctuated Fenrys’ claims that at the next poker night he would win every hand. Granted he was on his third beer as he said this.
It was just like any other night. And yet by the time midnight rolled around, he listened as his friends claimed necessity to return to domesticity.
Nehemia had cravings. Elide, Manon, and Asterin were drunk and needed a ride. Rolfe threatened to watch Bridgerton alone. And Endara claimed Gavriel had left her kitchen a mess.
Life as it should be was chaos. And while Rowan knew he wouldn’t have it any other way, as he paid off the tab with Brullo—consequence of a lost bet—he found himself facing a night of pouring rain and a semi-drunk Connall to haul around.
#
When Aelin Galathynius swore a life of solitude, it was for a good reason. She’d recently adopted a dog after all and Fleetfoot needed her undivided attention.
Now, five years later, she regretted nothing. Especially when Fleetfoot was such an excellent snuggling companion.
While her apartment was small, and admittedly shabby, it was home. Had been since she’d moved out of last foster home five years ago. Almost every single one of her friends had lived with her in that time. From Manon deeming it for your own good so you don’t end up murdered in this hellish part of town, to Elide claiming that I have no idea how to live by myself, you have to help me.
The apartment had known many people. Had known fights and tears. Had known emotional breakdowns and dance parties.
And yet, as Aelin came home from work on a glorious Friday evening, it felt empty. Even with Fleetfoot eagerly dancing around her feet. Even as she hooked on the leash and took a brisk walk around the block with Fleetfoot bounding along joyfully. Even when she returned home and turned her music on while she made dinner.
Empty.
Only the pouring rain outside gave any indication of the outside world.
Aelin turned her music up louder.
Perhaps it would have been so bad if Elide were here with her. Or Nehemia. Any of her friends. But it was date night and she knew just how much her friends had been missing their boys.
Elide worked so much and she’d recently started dating Lorcan Salvaterre they barely saw each other. Nehemia was having a baby with the love of her life. And then even though she and Asterin weren’t the closest, Aelin did miss her drinking buddy. And Yrene was so busy with her internship that all she had time for was her new marriage.
Aelin couldn’t have been happier for her friends, truly. They were all living their best lives. And so was Aelin.
She’d graduated with her degree in history, specializing in warfare and weaponry. Now she was teaching part-time at a community college and part of a research team that was working an archeology dig out in Wendlyn. Everything she’d wanted. Everything she’d worked so hard to get.
Life was good. Or so she kept telling herself.
“You really need to start locking your door!”
Aelin turned from the mess of spaghetti she was trying to make to find Elide, Asterin, and Manon entering her apartment. She held a spatula out threateningly.
“You can't just barge into people’s apartments,” Aelin said.
“We can if the door’s unlocked,” Manon replied. She wasted no time in kicking off her shoes and tossing her jacket onto Aelin’s couch. “Please tell me you have wine.”
“What’d Dorian do now?” Aelin asked as Manon easily went to the kitchen and found the bottle of wine. Not the cheap stuff.
“Nothing,” Manon grumbled.
Asterin barked out a laugh. “He brought up meeting his parents.”
“And moving in together,” Elide added.
Manon brandished the corkscrew threateningly. “Don’t make me use this.”
Chuckling, Aelin turned the burners of her stove off. “It’s Dorian. You can tell him no to both things and he’ll get it.”
Manon grunted and began chugging her very full glass of wine.
“Lorcan mentioned moving in together,” Elide said. Wine spurted from Manon’s nose and Elide rolled his eyes. “Eventually. He didn’t actually ask just one of those brief passing comments.”
“You know, I still don’t like him,” Aelin said. She dished up a few bowls of pasta and started handing them out.
“Please the two of you are practically besties,” Elide said. She gave Aelin a wink before settling in a chair at the small dining room table.
“Speaking of besties,” Asterin added, “Fenrys just sent me a text. They are getting wasted at the bar.”
“Is Gav with them?” Elide asked through a mouthful of pasta.
“Yeah, thank the Goddess,” Asterin said. “I don’t want to pick his drunk ass up.”
Manon made an approving sound and poured herself another glass of wine. “Because we are getting ourselves drunk.”
Aelin debated taking the wine away from Manon already, but shrugged. She needed a distraction from everything else. Before sitting down, she grabbed a bottle of whiskey she kept in case of emergencies and few glasses. It was girl’s night, why not?
“You do know you’re going to have to talk to Dorian, eventually right?” Aelin asked, pouring out whiskey.
“Shush,” Manon said. “Talking is overrated. We’ll just have sex and get over it.”
Aelin made a face. “I’d rather not think of you and one of my best friends in that way.”
“It’s sex!” Manon shouted. “C’mon, Aelin. I know it can’t have been that long since you slept with someone.”
Aelin rolled her eyes. She most certainly should have taken the wine away. Wine drunk Manon was a whole different animal than whiskey drunk Manon.
“Ohh,” Elide said, already pushing back her half-eaten bowl of pasta for the whiskey. “I might know of someone. Actually, Lorcan knows him.”
“No!” Aelin shouted at the same time Asterin screeched, “yes!”
“He’s very attractive,” Elide said with a knowing nod.
“And works out, a ton,” Asterin added. “He and Fen are training for a marathon.”
Aelin didn’t know whether to be impressed or horrified. She worked out and believed in a healthy lifestyle. But she also believed in chocolate. And cake.
Even as her friends slid side-glances her direction, Aelin ignored them. They’d been hounding her to date more. Ever since Sam had broken up with her when she wouldn’t move across the country with him and the mess with Chaol...Aelin hadn’t been in a serious relationship. And she was fine. Did she miss casual dates? Yes. Someone she could talk to about everything and anything? Yes. Did she miss sex? Absolutely.
On the last item she could rectify that easily. Just swing by the nearest club, but Aelin had always craved connection more than casualties.
She knocked back her shot of whiskey and nabbed the bottle from Manon who was well on her way to drunk.
Elide laughed at Aelin’s diversion from talking and got up to turn Aelin’s stereo up.
“You’ve gotta find a way to support Fleetfoot,” the petite brunette said, “being a single mom is hard.”
“Screw you!” Aelin growled.
“Pretty sure Lorcan’s already taking care of that,” Asterin said.
“No!” Manon and Aelin shouted together.
Cackling madly, Elide downed her whiskey and began dancing. It didn’t take long before all four girls were drunk and dancing madly to the music. And Aelin was able to forget everything else about the day and little comments her friends had made.
It wasn’t until after midnight that Lorcan and Fenrys showed up to take the other girl’s home. Fenry, a bit tipsy himself.
“Baby!” Elide squealed when she threw open the door.
Had Aelin been a touch more wasted she would have missed the soft smile that flitted across Lorcan’s face as his girlfriend flung herself at him. Aelin might not have understood where the hell that relationship had come from but she was slowly starting to accept it.
“Be safe,” Aelin demanded as she ushered her drunk friends out the door, Lorcan assuring her he had only drank one beer over an hour ago.
“Get a Tinder!” Asterin hollered as Aelin closed the door.
And just like that, she was left to an empty apartment.
#
When Rowan got into the business of researching ancient warfare and artifacts of war, he’d known it would give him hell in the future. Not that he would regret it of course, but for the past five years he’d dealt with questioning papers, developing thesis, tossing out said thesis, and trying to appear that he knew what he was doing.
It was a miracle if he could accomplish that last item.
By the time he made it home from work, he was exhausted. The text from Elide--how she’d gotten his number Rowan had no idea--declaring a night out didn’t help any. But it had been a few weeks since he and his friend--all his friends had gotten together.
So he dragged his sorry hide into a shower and down to Brullo’s bar.
And just like always he was the last to arrive.
“Whitethorn!” Vaughan called out.
Rowan raised his hand in recognition before getting a drink from Brullo.
Already, his friends had their drinks and their girls--and in Vaughan’s case, boy. Nothing about the night seemed far from normal. Even if Rowan wasn’t as familiar with Asterin or Rolfe, being around this group of people always put him at ease.
“You look like hell, Rowan,” Nehemia said with a sympathetic smile. She wore a simple gray dress that showed off her growing bump, her black hair twisted in thick braids.
Rowan offered a returning smile. “It was a hellish day.”
Connall thrust a beer into his hands. “Here’s to make it better. Although my lovely wife has already graced you with her presence, so consider yourself lucky.”
Rolling his eyes, Rowan shoved his friend away. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Too much,” Loran supplied. As usual he was seated in the corner of their table, nursing a beer.
“Where’s Elide?” Rowan asked. “Seeing as she’s the one who made me come.”
Lorcan gestured out to the dance floor. The dance floor. Since when did Brullo let anyone start dancing? Not in the past five years that Rowan and his friends had come. Unless one of them or another patron got too drunk.
But there was some song with a deep, thrumming beat reverberated through the bar. Someone must have bribed Brullo to put it on. Likely the fiends who were dancing like they had no care in the world.
Fenrys and Asterin were practically glued together and were less dancing and more making out. Nearby Gavriel and Endara were mostly laughing while tripping over their feet to keep with the beat of the song. What caught Rowan’s attention however was Elide.
Or rather her dance partner.
The woman was tall, lean, and had the frame of a fighter. She moved so easily to the music that Rowan was focused on her more than the song. Her blond hair hung well past her shoulders in golden waves matching her gold dress perfectly. But perhaps what was so striking was the carefree smile she wore. The way she laughed and leaned into Elide as the song changed to a sultrier chord. But neither woman seemed to notice, or care.
Until the blonde looked up and the low lights emitting from the dance floor set a low fire to her eyes and dug into him, holding him in place. And his breath caught.
Elide broke the spell that had settled over him.
“Rowan!” She yelled and waved frantically for him to join the dancing.
“No,” Rowan called back firmly. The last time he had decided to go dancing with Elide he had ended up shirtless, hungover, and in a car halfway to Mexico.
Elide pouted at him before crooking her finger to her boyfriend. Lorcan was already up and out of his seat making his way toward her. It was still strange to Rowan to see the brute of a man soften for anyone.
Shaking his head, Rowan returned to the bar to get another drink.
“Can I get something as well, Brullo?” The airy confidence of the woman, snagged Rowan’s attention and he turned to see the Elide’s former dance partner standing beside him.
From this angle, Rowan was better able to see that spark of gold and blue in her eyes, a splash of freckles on her nose. She was beautiful.
“You must be Rowan,” she said with a single brow raised.
He nodded and accepted a beer from Brullo. “I am, but I don’t seem to know you.”
Her mouth pulled up on one side. “Aelin. Elide and I grew up together. Figured since I never see her anymore, I had to come see what this place is all about.”
“Elide dragged you out here, didn’t she?” Rowan asked.
“She is terrifying when she wants to be,” Aelin agreed. She offered him a full grin in that instant and Rowan knew that if possible, he would try and make her smile like that again. “And she offered to pay my tab.”
“Meaning Lorcan will be paying your tab,” Rowan said.
“He does have his uses, other than being a brute.” Aelin laughed at that and took the drink Brullo offered her. She turned her gaze on him, those eyes so full of light. “I suppose I should get used to him though. Elide seems to like him.”
She wasn’t wrong Rowan realized. “Anyone that can get Lorcan to actually get out and dance is a miracle worker.”
“Except, she didn’t get you out there dancing,” Aelin said. She let out a soft laugh leaning closer to him.
And there it was, something different. And perhaps Rowan wouldn’t identify it for a long time. Wouldn’t really know what it was. But there was something about Aelin that drew him in. He’d known her for all of ten minutes, didn’t even know her last name, and here he was completely ensnared.
“I don’t dance,” Rowan said.
Aelin cackled. “Not yet anyway.”
She knocked back the rest of her drink and grabbed Rowan’s arm pulling him to the dancefloor.
Perhaps if they’d been paying closer attention, they would have noticed the high-five Asterin and Elide exchanged. Or the passing of bills between Vaughan, Connall, and Gavriel. There was a great deal they didn’t notice.
Not how the rain stopped pouring outside. Not how the emptiness of the night was overcome by more than music and alcohol. It was a silent shift. A careful one. One that would become more than alright with them.
#
as always thanks for reading!
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#aelin and rowan#rowaelin au#rowan whitethorn#aelin#aelin galathynius#throne of glass#throne of glass fanfiction#rowaelin#sjm#fanfiction#aelin ashryver galathynius#anon#prompts#answered#tog#tog fic#the singles club isnt always lonely#tscial
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