just saying my thoughts here but i feel like as much as the lgbt community hates terfs (as we should, might i add), there’s not enough outspoken disapproval of trans people that call Other trans people “trenders”. like the concept of “trans trenders” is absolutely some terf shit right? and this is mostly weaponized against transmasc people or simply anyone that is afab and nonbinary.

cause if you think about it, who are the people that are often called “trenders”?? trans/nb people that still appear very feminine. terfs say that trans women have to be this and that and fit their narrow (and frankly misogynistic) view of what a “woman” should be in order to be considered a woman. afab trans and nb people are held to this invisible standard by OTHER trans people in order to be considered “actually trans”. like is that not some terf shit??? is that not the exact same thing terfs do???

“oh but look they still wear makeup, and they wear skirts, and they act feminine and whatever!” if a cis man did that, and said he was positively sure he was a cis man and not a trans woman, would you question that?? or do you believe makeup and skirts are biologically ingrained in every afab person? when terfs say that “biological males are just ALWAYS violent and misogynistic and whatever bc they're MALE and thats just a permanent feature of their sex” is that not the same rhetoric as “you still do “girly” things therefore you are still a girl. bc those “girly” things are ingrained in your biological sex, you are programmed, as a female, to like makeup”. interesting how these insignificant traits are signs of a “trender” and someone who is pretending to be trans but if cis men do it they're idk revolutionary or smth. its almost as if anyone can be interested in anything bc interests are not some inherent trait of your sex?? 

and its strange to see trans people vehemently hate terfs, but then turn around and go “ha ha the she/theys are just girls that wanna be quirky” like. you are more similar to terfs than you are to the trans women you claim to protect, you know that right? are trans women just “quirky men” if they don't “pass” well enough for your own standards? is it suddenly no longer transphobia if its coming from you, the speaker for all trans people? 

like idk its strange to me. its like seeing someone say they hate nazis but then turn around and go “but i do think certain ethnic groups should be killed off” like ok. ok. do you see what ur doing

ALSO. doesn't it sound a LOT like those conservatives that go “its a trend to be gay now, everyones turning gay just for fun!” and we, gay people, say “no, there were JUST as many gay people back when you were our age, it’s just that we were very likely to be killed back then, so many of us stayed in the closet forever.” so you realize gender and sexuality isnt a trend right? do you think that MAYBE, since the internet has made queer education SO much more accessible to people, that more and more people are finding out they are trans?? the amount of trans and nb people is probably always going to be the same, but some people would’ve never found that out about themselves if it wasnt for the internet going “hey, if you feel like this, maybe you’re trans and you should explore that about yourself” and then they DO, and they explore their gender. 

anyway. a trans man calling people “trenders” should be viewed the same way as a lesbian that claims they are a “gold star” which is, huge red fucking flag that they are a transphobe

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

man im sorry you keep getting ace discourse questions. youre too cool for this

It's fine. I know to some 14 year olds it's a very pressing that they think really matters. We're watching the rise of global fascism and the horrific effects of climate change devastating the most vulnerable people who cannot escape... but to some people, whether or not cishets can reclaim "queer" and sit at the cool kids table is the most manageable topic they can put on their plate.

Listen, to avoid future asks because I DID just get an influx of followers, I will put my thoughts out plainly:

Aphobia isn't real. It can't be.

Asexuality doesn't any shared experiences or identity to be oppressed. By that I mean, asexuals can be straight, gay, bisexual, or aroace, there is no shared gendered attraction. And "asexuality" can mean totally aroaceness, just a lack of sexual attraction, or a complete lack of sexual desire. Aces can want sex, consent to having sex they don't want, or just not want sex. Aces can even feel sexual attraction (demi, lithro, grey). When you make your identity a spectrum that includes the opposite of what your identity is... you no longer have an identity.

If you do not have an identity with a pool of shared ideology or experiences or even more abstract things like desires... there is no basis for oppression.

People DO face discrimination for not having sex and lacking sexual desire but that discrimination is more heavily tied misogyny and ableism, maybe misdirected homophobia. Most of the time, it isn't even tied to misogyny, it IS misogyny—it's just basic flavor rape culture.

On the flip side, people also face discrimination for having sex and having too much or the "wrong" sexual desire. For many marginalized groups, that means having ANY sexual (or romantic, shout out to the aros who think they're oppressed) desire at all.

So, if a celibate cisgender straight woman who feels sexual desire but just doesn't want to act on it is being harassed for turning down a man, is that aphobia? No. That's rape culture, baby.

And then there are aces and even aroaces who have sex, want sex, are kinky, and love to flaunt it. What aphobia are they facing? This means a non-ace woman is facing more "aphobic" discrimination than an actual, supposed asexual.

Aphobia is not real.

A culture made to punish and demand sexual desire IS real.

And, unfortunately, a lot of rhetoric within the ace community ends up reinforcing that rape culture, hurting their own cause. So, even if I did think a cisgender, straight person who MAYBE lacks sexual attraction and mAYBE doesn't want sex is somehow oppressed and that all cisgender, straight people who face oppression are LGBT, I wouldn't... want to associate with a group bent on regurgitating conversion therapy classics like "You can healthily have sex with people you aren't attracted to" and "You can be sexually gay but romantically straight" (Mormons fucking love that one!).

In a society where so many people ARE pressured into sex they do not want, I do not want to associate with people using the same talking points as sexual abusers, only this time they're using it to justify why cishets can still be queer or whatever.

I really, genuinely wish the best to people who are truly asexual, truly aromantic, who ARE getting shit for their lack of desires, but the communities they belong to need to be fixed before they can even call themselves LGBT alllies, let alone LGBT community members.

And I think a lot of people need to work on themselves and acknowledge that maybe a lot of rhetoric in their communities are just a way to distance themselves from theri sexual and romantic inclinations and any shame they may associate with them, rather than providing "real" identity.

Cause a "straight" man who really, really wants to fuck other men is obviously in denial. So what can we say about an ace who really wants to fuck their partner?

Entertaining this denial only hurts aces and LGBT people in the long run. And if we can't have that discussion honestly, there is no reason for me to entertain the idea of giving LGBT resources, spaces, platforms to our oppressors. Cause even if cishet aces are oppressed, even the most oppressed people on the planet, being oppressed doesn't cancel your role in LGBT oppression. Cishet women are oppressed, face systems of oppression much more closely linked to homophobia and transphobia than aphobia would be, and yet still don't belong in our community, so why would any other cishets belong?

I don't think this view is hateful. I would LOVE to dismantle the rape culture that hurts aces and non-aces alike. I would love to have fruitful dialogues about the pressure to have sex you do not want and how isolating the single life can be or whatever the fuck. A lot of these conversations have already been happening in feminist spheres but let's have another go. (Cause, if I haven't made it clear enough, "aphobic" concerns are actually just feminist concerns.) But if my views make anyone think I'm aphobic... sure. Homophobia and transphobia describe systems of oppression but if a slightly blunt pushback on a tumblr ask is aphobia, then I guess we have a new definition for the "phobic" suffix in this context. Redefining words is an ace community classic, so I'm not surprised.

Anyways, I think I've hit most major points for any newcomers. I will not be accepting new asks on this topic (even asks that agree with me or want to add more); I will just link y'all to my wishlist or to a song I want everyone to listen to.

This is my final word on the subject... unless I find a truly novel thing to say. Or I'm just in the mood to rant. But I'll be doing that on my terms, not to play a game with any new anons.

(That said, thanks anon for this ask, I'm not mad at you, lol. Just had to get this out cause I've gained a lot of followers today and can sense drama on the horizon.)

I'm asking as a confused trans and gay person regarding some of your recent posts saying aphobia doesn't exist, etc. Do you consider asexual people to be inherently LGBT even if they are cisgender and straight (heteroromantic)? I don't want to discriminate at all, I'm just confused because I see people fighting on here all the time about whether aces are part of the LGBT community or not. Do you have some insight for me as an ace nonbinary person? Thanks in advance!

no it’s fine lol dw!

i’m not sure how to explain this w/o being too extensive in what i say bc i’ve talked about this before but more in private conversations (and maybe some rants in tumblr posts) nd i tend to ramble abt it.

first of all i do not actually like the common conception that there is one way to define LGBT or the idea that everyone should fall within that category term or not, for example because the English language is colonial and rigid and does not reflect on experiences of all cultures, bc being gay or trans are not distinctly different experiences everywhere while they would be divided into different categories. so whereas i was more insistent on saying ‘you must be gay / bi / lesbian / trans to be LGBT / suffer from homophobia or transphobia’ i’ve come to realize now that this argument is rather exclusive of many gender diverse identities that do not correspond to all experiences or cultures. so i will stay away from using that argument.

however, i am speaking from my experience with online LGBT and asexual communities and have seen how the latter has tried to force itself into the other. i think a large issue with the asexual and aromantic communities is that they are partially based upon the creation of AVEN, an online forum founded by a homophobic and antisemitic man, and partially (though related to the former) by just blatantly made up statistics and history. not once have i seen a good argument or research or even personal accounts that illustrate very well why aphobia is a thing. i am asexual myself but do not want to take the lack of discrimination i faced for it as proof. there have been accounts of ‘aphobic’ discrimination that are either 1. much more a general concern with the OP facing misogyny and girls being sexualized, 2. someone making a remark based on a misconception of OP’s experiences or 3. misappropriation of terms and applying them to asexuality, e.g. ‘corrective rape’ was coined to refer to (African) lesbians who were assaulted under the presumption that it would turn them straight. asexuals have appropriated this term years ago to claim asexual people face rape on a large scale because perpetrators try to force them into liking sex. some people don’t even know the original meaning of the term because of this. i’m also not a big fan of this new interpretation of the term anyway, because legit sexual attraction is not the main reasons people commit rape; it is to seek power. this kind of mindset of asexual people being inherently vulnerable to sexual violence due to lack of feeling sexual attraction is seriously harmful; in the crime show Law and Order SVU, a suspect was let off because some main character said the suspect was asexual and this couldn’t have done it. people can be and sometimes are raped by an asexual person, because it is about taking advantage of someone and not attraction. the sole fact that so many authors of overly fetishistic fanfiction are asexual should prove this much, but instead the lack of attraction is used to distance oneself from the harm one can still cause.

and yes, asexual people can face discrimination, especially if you’re a girl you’re expected to be sexually submissive, which is pretty horrifying on its own. but this is not the same as targeted discrimination on a mass scale or institutional whatsoever. we are not thaught as we grow old that asexuals are disgusting, are a joke, or need to be violently murdered. my biggest issue with the asexual and aromantic community that we (as i have removed myself from it years ago) keep telling it that anecdontal accounts of being mildly discriminated is nowhere near the same as risking being kicked out of your house, being violently attacked due to the way you appear or having a partner of the same gender, being systematically discriminated by all sorts of institutions in society and being thaught that what you are is bad from an early age on. and then the counterargument is that LGBT is more recognized but asexual and aromantic isn’t, so ‘ace / aro’ people deserve to be included because they are underrepresented in media. but that is not the case at all. the speed at which asexuality has suddenly been incorporated and included into LGBT spaces, also offline, has been ridiculously fast. nowadays when you see a bunch of LGBT flags you see the asexual one being included a lot, sometimes in 3 different versions, while the lesbian flag is nowhere to be seen. lesbians are consistently excluded from their supposedly own community and they are not included in LGBT due to a need to change underrepresentation or lack of awareness, but because they face their own version of homophobia. the most mind-boggling thing about cis / cishet asexual and aromantic people being told that they are not oppressed, is that the response is not relief (’oh i’m glad i don’t face systematic oppression for this thing’) but anger (’how dare you not let us into your group!’). LGBT is seen as a fun party that is unnecessarily mean to anyone it gatekeeps, as if it is not actually necessary to keep out cishet people who benefit from their privilege and can use that against the rest in the group if they join.

my largest issue with the asexual community however, and i’ve touched upon this a bit before in the post, is that it victimizes itself, to such a degree where it puts itself oppositional to ‘allosexuals’. the whole idea that people who experience sexual attraction to another person are inherently privileged over abd hold power over asexual people is just not true (and the same goes for this rethoric for aromantic people). this idea is so wrong and the whole concept of the ‘allosexual’ as oppressor collapses once you consider that people who are attracted to the same gender are actually in danger and oppressed for their very attraction. not only are those who experience attraction (that isnt platonic) to other people portrayed as oppressors, but also as perverted freaks. once i decided to stop associating myself with acearo people and instead interact with LGBT people with other experiences, i realized just how much stigmatizing abd frankly, homophobic and transphobic bullshit i’ve adopted within the spaces i used to be in and that i still see gather a lot of traction (now their harmful points are also used on twitter and IRL in the public domain). the community has a huge issue where it teaches you to be puzzled and grossed out by people who want to date / kiss / have sex with other people, and this results in GSAs that now include asexuals to prohibit kissing your partner per request of asexual / aromantic members, asexual people showing up at pride with ‘can we just hug?’ signs, the common serophobic jokes (’at least we dont get hiv!!’ blergh), and for me it led to a great discomfort with kissing and sex imagery and it wasn’t until i left the community that this was in fact subtle homophobia because so much content on here is lgbt themed and to combine that with the increasing aversion to romance or sex without critically looking at that is... very toxic to say the least.

so where it’s standing right now, i don’t think including asexual or aromatic people in LGBT spaces on the basis of those identities is a good idea. one community advocates for the acceptance of sex, whereas the other is stigmatizing it and painting off those who are in fact oppressed for their transness or homosexuality, as the oppressors. it clashes and it doesn’t work. the ‘ace / aro’ community (quote unquote bc i see ‘ace’ being used a lot to imply superiority over ‘allosexuals’ like, theyre being the ace at something) has too many issues, which it is largely based on, to figure out. it can be a community on its own and i do not think you need to join LGBT to have a valid identity that has something to do with sexuality or gender and deals with a form of stigma.

it woukd be a rant, i warned you lol

some questions for ace/mogai tumblr

how far up your ass does your head have to be to not realize that “aphobia” is literally “reverse oppression” for all intents and purposes. and let me tell you why, real quick

all this anger is 100% directed only at lgbt people who don’t think that we have the same experiences and issues. you folks literally hate us more than any cishet (and even want cishets in our “community” rather than gay and lesbian people, despite that group including non-white, disabled, trans, etc. people)

you’re literally arguing that a major part of aphobia is lgbt people oppressing you, bc “hatekeeping” is a part of aphobia. you will not shut up about how lgbt people, specifically, are oppressing you, which is. not how systematic oppression works at all, and if you don’t get that much, don’t talk about oppression at all lol

but the only reason why us “””regs””” (or whatever you’re calling us dirty gays these days) hate you is because we’re tired of you being straight up bigots. not bc we think not experiencing sexual/romantic attraction isn’t valid, not because we think everyone has to have sex/relationships, none of that (which you say is the core of ace/aro stuff)

like. we are reacting to something you started. we are reacting to cishet aces and aros being just as homophobic and transphobic as any other cishet. you sure as hell have proved that. we are reacting to you attempting to destroy lgbt liberation by claiming it has nothing to do with destroying homophobia and transphobia, but about us all being Abominations. you ignore the fact that “-sexual” was never about sex the activity, but sex as in “gender”. -sexual = what gender/which genders you’re attracted to, because you need it to be about sex to have any basis for your “cishet aces and aros are lgbt too!” claim

you are causing direct harm to us by promoting shit politics that are based on neoliberal ideas like “oppression will go away when you have tv shows about your identity”. you shit all over the statistical fact that the ones who face most violence are those you claim to have “visibility privilege”, eg gay men and trans women. you erase the transphobia and transmisogyny everyone but cis gay and lesbian ppl take part in by saying bi/pan/ace/aro people are somehow less “primitive” or w/e than gay men and lesbians

you tell lesbian, gay, bi, etc people with internalized homophobia that it’s possible to be two or more identities at once bc of your gross split attraction model, and it hurts everyone who is confused about their feelings (which, let’s be real, is more or less every lgbt person bc hey, being lgbt isn’t as fucking easy as you think!!). you hurt (lgbt) trauma victims by claiming there are special forms of sexual abuse and trauma only aces and aros (a very inconsistent group of people) experience, and even saying that abuse is worse for you than others

so uh. how is you calling us aphobes for reacting to that NOT on par with “reverse oppression”? you won’t stop accusing us of all kinds of crap, including us systematically abusing and gaslighting you, but every cry of “aphobia” is about silencing lgbt people who disagree with you. it’s about denying our experiences, denying lgbt history, straight up lying and manipulating facts to get what you want. it’s never about an lgbt person just saying something “aphobic” out of nowhere, it’s always about us “hatekeeping” or w/e. always

please explain this to me asap  👏 👏 👏 the bullshit you people pull makes me fear for the future of lgbt liberation, bc you don’t want liberation, you want some liberal "we’re all equal here everyone is actually lgbt uwu” crap. lesbian and gay people suffer tremendously every day, and you want us kicked out from lgbt spaces. you claim we’re even worse than cishets. you only use bi/pan and trans people to make your politics seem Modern, Fresh, and w/e because everyone knows gays and lesbians are actually primitive and stuck in the past with their “only attracted to one gender” stuff and obviouslyonly only lesbians can be transmisogynists! it is a fact

like what is it exactly that you all want to accomplish. you literally think everything we’ve done so far is just ace exclusionary nonsense, and spit on the legacy or every gay man and lesbian. why do you even want to be lgbt so bad if you think nothing we’ve done benefits you. and what are YOU going to offer to lgbt liberation? how will you fight for our rights, if apparently most of your oppression will end the second us nasty gays will allow you to be lgbt? 

doesn’t that just prove that this isn’t a movement for you. i need answers you doofuses

i mean, i don't think it's ENTIRELY bc of the SAM. i think it has a lot to do with people's general treatment of bi women/lesbians as well. bisexuals are supposed to "pick a side" & are "either gay or straight", whereas people wld do absolutely anything to shoehorn men into lesbianism. this is just the natural conclusion to the previous discourse about how "lesbian" doesn't actually mean "woman exclusively attracted to women" & actually just means wlw/sapphic. 1

2. HOWEVER i do think that the SAM played a huge part in normalizing "bi lesbians". ALSO, DISCLAIMER, but trans women are women and when i say that lesbianism is exclusive attraction to women by women, trans women are included. i would rather die than have TERFs think i agree w them

I’m not 100% in disagreement with you BUT you need to understand the “pick a side” shit bisexuals face and even “bihet” wasn’t EVER actually saying you can be straight and bi, gay and bi. It was saying bisexuals are *fake* and that we are really gay or straight and in denial/being greedy/too horny to stick to one gender. The same way “shoehorning men into lesbianism” has the end goal of somehow confirming lesbians are ACTUALLY also just straight, they’re just confused about it. The end game isn’t lesbians being bisexual. Or them somehow being bi and lesbians at the same time.

The split attraction model is the primary factor at saying you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time, even though those are overlapping and YET mutually exclusive terms.

Of course homophobia and biphobia have been attempting to chip at both bisexuality and lesbianism as words and concepts this entire time but the Split Attraction Model brought this into the LGBT community. That is to say, it made this biphobia and lesbophobia ACCEPTABLE rhetoric within the community and has gone so far as to make any lesbian or bisexual who objects to it a bigot.

And that is ENTIRELY on the ace community. Especially since criticizing the SAM then becomes “aphobia” and means LGBT people get excluded from the community for espousing “hate against our own” and infighting and whatever else they wanna lob at us just for saying “Uh, that’s not what either bisexual or lesbian means.”

Concepts like “have sex with someone you aren’t sexually attracted to,” “LGBT PDA is gross and triggers panic in me,” “LGBT identities are all about sex,” and “[x] cishets are oppressed by the mean LGBT people” are all ideas that existed before and separately from the ace community.

But all are now accepted and tolerable ideas within the LGBT community BECAUSE of the ace community. They infected our community with this shit.

“Bisexual lesbian” wasn’t anything other than an insult before aces decided to push the SAM as the norm. And now it’s STILL an insult but one we’re told we’re bigots if we don’t accept.

sometimes i get a bit sad bc im asexual / aromantic (which i guess r different things for many ppl but to me they seem like part of the same general patterns of longing and intimacy) but idk what to say abt it bc i feel like im just repeating myself nd i dont want to attract another weird anon who tells me im demisexual or that aphobia is real or whatever the fuck. i just get a bit down sometimes bc i feel like im missing something by not having these kinds of feelings.i just kind of wish i had someone older to look up to, like, i dont know anyone personally whos much older nd didnt end up w a partner. nd there already isnt much stigma around this in my family, like my parents never married nd i have an aunt nd uncle who never had kids, nd it seems like my mom is fine w me not having the prospect of a relationship or children in the future bc my brother is already a father. nd i dont mean to say tht these expectations only have an impact on asexual ppl bc of course they dont. i just... idk. bc i engage so much w lgbt people and bc being transgender is associated so much w dysphoria, depression, self-hatred nd whatnot, i see people mainly turn to talking about their same gender attraction to discuss themselves in a positive light nd it feels a bit alienating bc i dont see as much uplifting or inspirational discussions abt gender variance / gender nonconformity / transgenderism, which is sad to say the least, nd i cant relate to discussions abt love and sex and yearning for it and i think this makes me worry abt this stuff way too much, when compared to someone who doesnt read abt these experiences. i just wish there was more positivity and fruitful discussions going on for trans people, beyond saying 'valid' over nd over bc that word is meaningless after too many years on tumblr. just, transness is so detached in discussions of lgbt stuff where it becomes an afterthought, or is implied to be a completely different issue, while all of these identities are stigmatized due to patriarchial gender role expectations, nd i cant relate to lgb stuff so it just feels so disorienting to be in a sort of community where the most celebrated thing is something ill never feel nd the thing i am is just reduced to pronoun discussions or dysphoria, even outside hellish transm3dicalist circles. nd then when i asked around abt trans / nonbinary communities in my city, i got recommended this one organization / group which i already knew of nd i absolutely didnt want to join that bc they had public pages on facebook for k1nk events?? idek where im going w this but im just sad nd i feel like im missing out on so much by being so introverted nd autistic nd unable to feel attraction nd like im missing true happiness or whatever. i know im a super affectionate nd emotional person but i cant help but feel it's not enough. a large part of this is probably actually autism nd feeling misgendered nd i wrote more but tumblr ate those parts yugh