Just realized that Charles Xavier could 100% look at a person and be like: “bro you have autism”

If the M6 had any mental disabilities (OCD, Autism, ADHD...) What do you think they would have?

Brainrot's Arcana Essays: M6's mental health conditions

@hewwo-its-floof .... this probably isn't where your ask was heading, but here's an essay! XD I've actually been turning this concept over in my head for several months now, so you'll see what I could see each of them having but you'll also see why I haven't unpacked it much ^.^

(cropped because this is long and addresses each character)

I'm going to be totally honest and say that I'm extremely hesitant to focus on diagnosing fictional characters beyond lighthearted headcanons. From my own experience of having multiple diagnoses at different times, people and characters tend to be fairly complex in the way their nature, nurture, and mental health interact with each other. So while it's really fun and in many ways healing and validating to see our experiences and habits reflected in a loveable character, it's easy to fall into a trap of confining ourselves or a character to the diagnoses we're focusing on.

Asra, Julian, Muriel, and Lucio, for example, all have the kind of lived experiences that you could fully expect would result in CPTSD. Asra's parents disappeared while they were a young child and they experienced the extended trauma of growing up homeless on the streets. Muriel experienced that same abandonment and homelessness, and then that gets layered with his experience in the Coliseum. Julian has clear memories of the trauma of being shipwrecked, losing his parents, and trying to care for his sister as a young boy, plus the apprenticing he did as a teen treating soldiers on active battlefields. Lucio has a similar traumatic background with the amount of time he's spent in combat and the kill-or-be-killed world he grew up in. Portia doesn't have any memories before the grandmothers at Nevivon, but that doesn't erase her body's memory or the chances of second hand trauma from her closeness to her brother. Nadia didn't exactly have an easy childhood, but we aren't aware of any traumatic incidents before adulthood.

All that to say, there's multiple ways to interpret behavior that reflects a mental condition that doesn't match what's considered "normal." Asra can seem ADHD coded - we've seen them fixate on curious puzzles, completely zone out and forget what they're doing, and turn their living space into a cozy state of chaos. That looks a lot like ADHD! But, that could also be the trauma coping mechanisms of someone who likes to live with the luxury of having a space covered in their things without fear of them being removed, or focusing solely on things that make their brain happy in an unpredictable world. Or maybe Asra's just a naturally curious person who finds chaos comforting and spends a lot of time in their own head. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above feeding into each other in different ways!

The same goes for the other three - does Muriel like a more isolated lifestyle because of the trauma from crowds in the Coliseum? Does he like to keep his own heavily guarded space and set routines from living on the streets? Or are those autistic traits, seeking out a space that isn't overstimulating and doesn't require masking? How much of that is natural introversion and a general preference for calm, ordered spaces? He could be a combination of some or all of those things, but he's still himself regardless. If we were to focus on just one, we'd risk leaving the rest to fade into the background.

Julian has one of the stories in which MC plays a very direct role in addressing his mental health. He depends on them heavily to help him find new purpose and a new way to live. You could almost say that MC helps "fix" him, but this doesn't involve losing a lot of the things that make him so messy - it mostly involves helping him dial it back enough so that it's no longer unhealthy. (for example - he drinks as a coping mechanism, but the solution isn't for him to never touch alcohol again. he still drinks and has a fun time, it's his need to self-isolate and self-destruct that really needed to be addressed) He can still be loud and flamboyant and entertaining without having to pin his worth on how much validation he gets from it. Could those super high highs and low lows be signs of bipolar disorder? Maybe, but whether it is or not, Julian's wide range of emotional expression is core to who he is.

Lucio is his own special case (I mean, the story starts out with him as the villain). The plot of his route is his transformation. It could be easy to read narcissism into a lot of his behavior, and if that's a diagnosis his character was built around, it would make sense! It could also be easy to argue that his tendency to idolize himself is a response to growing up in a world where he had no control and felt constantly unsupported and ignored. But the focus isn't on bashing how he sees himself as much as it is on teaching him accountability around what he does with that. Lucio at the end of his story still has a sizeable ego, still sees himself as a protagonist, and has no qualms about being good enough for MC. However, he's gained experience acknowledging his own flaws and mistakes and it's enabled him to seek out a fresh start.

We could unpack Portia and Nadia too - is Portia's super competence and hard working nature born out of the pressure to be strong and steady for her traumatized older brother? Did that cause the hyper responsibility that kept her adventurous spirit in Nevivon way past her childhood? Does her annoyance with her older brother's struggles come out of frustration at never being able to process her own difficulties in favor of playing therapist for everyone else? Are her loudly cheerful attitude, tendency to fill her day with work, and love of escaping into books all masking techniques for chronic depression? Maybe all of that is true, but it's accompanied by a conscious decision to be optimistic and a genuine love of caring for other people.

We could speculate about the source of Nadia's insecurities for hours - what did her old dynamic with Lucio look like? Where did her hesitance to get involved and try to fix a broken system come from? What caused someone with such a focused personality to make firm decisions and express deep doubts at the same time? Does her quest for influence come from a desire to implement improvements or a need for control? Maybe her love of precision, good omens, and controlled environments are a result of OCD, or maybe she's just discovered what it's like to have her confidence shaken and this is what it looks like to move forward.

I've processed my own share of eating and mental disorders, dysphoria, neurodivergence, disability, and trauma. Some of my diagnoses only lasted several months, others took decades to work past, and a few of them I know will be with me for the rest of my life. They help explain a lot of how I function, experience the world, and interact with others as a person. But those conditions and experiences are only part of the amalgamation that makes me who I am, who I've been, and who I'm becoming. I don't care to completely define myself by certain parts when the sum of who I am is what's going to decide my story, and I like extending that mindset to the stories, people, and characters I interact with as well.

I hope that makes sense, and sorry for the unexpected essay!!

Cheers, friend -

brainrot

What r ur dreamswap headcanons :3

Have to redo this bc Tumblr hates me:

* 7 each

* Human Ver. Specific

Dream

Dream 100% has something that’s dedicated to Ani, (hospital, orphanage, medical organization, etc.)

To add more depth to him being Latino, I choose to believe he’s Chilean-American

He doesn’t like to be touched, but would never correct anybody on it because he doesn’t want to offend anyone and he doesn’t view it as a priority or concern 

Only has one scar and it was prior to the incident (tm), nightmare, dropped a bowl, and a shard of the ceramic cut dream deep enough to form a scar, and subconsciously Dream doesn’t want it to heal, so it doesn’t fully heal, though it is fairly faint, it’s on his wrist directly above the bone 

He’s probably some form of genderqueer, yeah, doesn’t know it and refuses to look into it because he just doesn’t view it as important, he probably goes by pronouns 

His magical blondness, skips a few streaks of his hair, so he has black streaks that he dies blonde to match the rest of his hair

Canonically multilingual, speaking both English and Mandarin, though I would like to add that he can fluently speak Latin, modern Spanish, and French

Bonus: Dream does that OCD thing (w/o actually having it) where all of his pens when they’re laying on his desk are at the exact same place, in a perfect little row

Nightmare

He sits in trees and people watches, like he sits up in trees, kind of in forests and watches people on picnics and fun little family outings, and tries to imagine what his life would be like if it hadn’t been what it is 

His hair is extremely heat damaged, because he totally straightens it (it’s the only thing about him that’s allowed to be straight /j)

Extension on him canonically being Latino: I think he’s Peruvian-American

For some reason collect bottle caps (like the little metal ones you get on alcohol bottles (he doesn’t drink though))

He has a peanut allergy

Despite being an insomniac, whenever he does actually sleep, he starfishes

He doesn’t like looking in mirrors, there’s anything wrong with it, there isn’t really reason why he doesn’t like it, he just find it unsettling and he covers the one in his room with a blanket

Ink

He has one of those canopy beds, but the actual canopy part is custom painted and embroidered (by himself) with band logos, TV show logos, characters he likes, etc.

He is really bad at spelling, professional emails are more like word scrambles

If someone were to ask him to draw them, he would draw them, claim he made mistake, tear it up, then draw a stick figure, and give it to them

Usual Ethnicity one: he actually doesn’t know his ethnicity beyond being Latino, but he is Cuban-American

He’s emo and claims his favorite color is black, but it’s orange which is equally as bad

He has no real gauge of his own pain tolerance and usually has to be forced into medical situations by other people, usually Dream when he reports back to him

Ink’s allergic to bleach and ant bites

Cross

He hasn’t had his first kiss

He uses Old Spice cologne in the classic scent. But he does it to a NAUSEATING level.

He’s Irish, ethnically. I don’t make the rules.

He’s minorly lactose intolerant

This man owns like five Tamagatchis

He makes really good bread for some reason? Like this man SLAYS a sourdough

Cross uses 3-in-1 bodywash

(This is a Tamagatchi if you don’t know)

Blue

This man wears hair curlers to bed 100%

He’s really bad at math

Probably advocates for eating healthy (being a yoga instructor, possible influencer)

Blue is so ADHD to me

American-Italian/Portuguese

Has never made a bed in his LIFE

Blue seems like the kind of man who would burn water

Error

Clean freak, he prefers to keep the house clean, but it ends up a mess anyways because Cross and Nightmare always end up messing it up

Easily the best driver of the Meme Squad

His lock/homescreen is an inspirational quote

LOVES the rain, finds it calming and loves the smell of it, but hates getting caught out in the rain (loves the aesthetic, hates the actual thing)

Maybe American-Moroccan?

He likes dark fantasy books

Was top of his class when he had been in school, prior to his amnesia

Kevin

Can read. (Can’t write (no thumbs))

Can and does steal from the meme squad

Bonus:

How long I think it takes DS to get ready in the mornings:

Dream takes a solid hour and a half

Blue takes an hour

Nightmare takes 45 minutes

Cross and Ink take 15-20 minute for the sake of layers

Error and Finch take like 5 bc they dress really basic

dreamswap by @\onebizarrekai

Huh, you know I just thought of somethings, and not sure if this was ever discussed in your asks. But miniYuu or Yuu be disabled in some way? Like it can be ether mental or physical. I can imagine that if miniYuu was disabled, the whole school would help Them no matter what. Same goes for teen yuu. But that interest them due to the ways yuu has to be helped because it’s different for their species. As for mental, (ADHD, OCD, Autism, Tourettes, ect.ect.) I imagine that they don’t really see it as a bad thing, but possibly a quirk humans naturally have. Though Teen Yuu would explain as best they can. Another thing, Yuu not speaking English at all. They would have a complete hard time understanding Yuu, and would have to help them learn English. I can just imagine the panicked as Yuu sings in some other language and they think Yuu’s chatting or preforming some kind of spell! Also would MiniYuu attend NRC when they are old enough? Because if so I can just imagine the family vibs and chaos unleashed. Sorry I’m rambling! It just your TW monster AU is giving me so many ideas and I want to write them out!

Don’t be sorry for rambling, Nonny! I absolutely love hearing you guys ramble about ideas and such you guys have for any of my AUs, and I’d really love to see more of what you guys write or create or think of for this AU! I’d absolutely adore whatever you guys decide to share with me~! :D

Now in response to your ideas, funny enough, that’s something I had considered in a way! I think I touched up on it at one point across a couple of posts (I briefly mentioned it in this post about how the guys would react if Yuu had sensory issues when it comes to touch or getting randomly hugged), and I mentioned in another post that the research institutions also assist with aspects that Yuu needs to survive (such as asthma medicine for example) or other things may need physically or mentally.

Compared to our world, I like to imagine that Twisted Wonderland has made more strides in researching different fields of medicine and mental or physical health. Given that they have to deal with risking overblotting when it comes to magic users, they gotta make sure that they’re able to deal with any negative emotions and whatnot that these monster magicians deal with (quite possibly the same in game since Azul mentions that he and the others went to therapy after their overblots). This means that they are much more likely to take certain things into consideration and not just brush off any concerns or make any assumptions or false ideas on what caused something or another.

I didn’t fully touch up on everything that was possible with Yuu in this AU, but I want this AU to be as inclusive as possible to allow for any possibility that one can have. Granted, some of these things may be seen as uncommon to them if they haven’t been exposed to it or don’t understand it (yet), but not entirely unheard of like some of the examples you mentioned. Some things they could see as it being normal or a possible aspect to humans (such as OCD or ADHD), so they honestly wouldn’t see or realize otherwise unless Yuu told them or someone recognized the signs. Depending on how long it took them to find out, they’d adjust and learn what not to do and what was okay for Yuu. Even the researchers do their best to fill in the blanks that Yuu can’t explain well enough once they know what they’re looking at!

If it was with mini!Yuu though, I’d imagine that they’d have child psychologists and physicians assist and recognize what to do. Rather than using medication or whatnot, they’d find other ways to keep their attention or help them adjust and learn and grow during their stay at NRC while encouraging them to be the best little human they can be~!

Now as for the “Yuu not being able to understand them and vice versa”, I do believe I mentioned in another post how the novelization of Twisted Wonderland pointed out that there was a translation spell around the school (though probably not a catch-all given that Rook still speaks French here and there amongst the English/Japanese versions of the games). However…I did also mention in this post here that it was possible that some human languages could possibly be considered extinct languages in Twisted Wonderland, SO by that reasoning, who’s to say that there couldn’t be some shenanigans and miscommunication silliness~? >v> Mini!Yuu I can see quickly picking up the language while teen Yuu would need a little extra time and patience to help. XD

And yesssssss! Granted, if for some reason they couldn’t send mini!Yuu back to their world, they would get adopted and grow up in Twisted Wonderland (who would adopt Yuu is entirely up to you guys! I’d imagine that Professor Trein would be more comfortable being a grandfather to Yuu given he’s already raised two daughters, which is fine because if Yuu is okay with Lucius and pets him nicely then he can and will spoil them with little trinkets and treats and read them stories in the courtyard. Even when their adoptive big brothers finally graduate and move on with their lives, they always make sure to keep in touch and visit whenever they can, and when Yuu has finally turned 16? It’s a very tearful and proud moment for everyone when Crowley allows them to attend NRC under special conditions.

Despite what they’d say, there was hardly a dry eye in that room when the boys were able to visit the school again to watch as mini!Yuu–now no longer so mini–is allowed to go before the Dark Mirror and–even if they never developed magic (or did they…~?)–they’re allowed to stay in the newly renovated Ramshackle dorm as its new dorm leader.

Of course, this would also extend to teenager Yuu in that they get to go through graduation with their friends and--after getting adopted by one of the staff so they could get a job and whatnot that they'd need to survive out there--Yuu would be able to continue on with life and perhaps they choose to live on their own or room with their closest friends or possibly find love with someone--it's entirely up to them how they decide to live their life. UvU

Once more I’m ill and have nothing better to do, so, Modern AU head canons/ideas - idk what to call them-

Aleksandr and George dated for like a month, aleks was curious and wanted to try it out. They probably did sort of like each other like that but it wasn’t that serious.

Daisy was definitely in some sort of drama club.

Ralph and Kitty critiques everybody’s fashion choices, are a bit harsh but we love them for that. (Also kitty and Ralph friendship anybody???)

99% of them are autistic or have adhd or ocd or something going on, I’m pretty sure that’s canon anyways. Just would be in actual words due to it being a modern au.

Kitty being a social media influencer? Definitely.

Most of the cases are just little stories that Hazel and Daisy came up with. A few of the smaller cases did actually happen.

When aleks started liking Hazel he would ramble on about her to George, the same happened when George started liking Ralph. (Aleksandr experienced what George goes through on a daily basis)

Anyways that’s all I can think of at the moment-

Round 2 Poll:

Pictures and propaganda are under the cut!

William Wisp (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, Cotard's Syndrome, AVPD, PTSD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder, OSDD-1b/Plurality, and BPD)

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t have massive anxiety ~ Anxiety

I mean his whole thing is that he is literally dead and alive at the same time. One of the first things introduced about him is how quickly he can make himself go invisible/seem like he doesn’t exist. The autism is just because he’s silly :3 ~ Autism and Cotard’s Syndrome

Just like. Look into his eyes and you'll know. But also don't he's autistic how dare you ~ Autism and Anxiety

- Deep-rooted low self esteem. He’s always felt weird and different, sees himself as inherently wrong, a fuck up and a disappointment. He struggles to even see himself as a person, especially when he was dead. He puts his friends on a pedestal (especially Dakota) and sees himself as someone way beneath them.  - Relatively okay with maintaining some surface level relationships but struggles with expressing his deeper feelings or talking about his past. Always vague and incredibly apologetic, quick to brush past it whenever it comes up.  - Very self-conscious and ashamed of his powers, especially early on. He asks people to look away when he goes into spirit form, and only does it in extreme circumstances. Only comfortable when he’s in the purple morph suit, where he feels like he can be seen as a different person. - When Dakota gives him his heart he immediately feels like he has to dedicate his whole life to making it up to him (literally gets a new complication bc of that). Feels undeserving of kindness or help from others.   - Quick to give up when he isn’t absolutely certain of an outcome. Extreme reluctance to take risks, (avoiding using his powers because he doesn’t trust himself to control them, running and hiding during fights) ~ AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder)

Well its been a while since i spedrun pd but what ive picked up is; They wear alot of layers which could be a texture thing or an unbalance to coldness and warmness and that bitch is definitely queer which is more common for autistic/adhd folks since they tend to be less reliant on social norms and thus more open about their sexuality and gender! Another think is in both the designs his hair only goes does to his neck i have autism and my hair HAS to be a specific length or like texture issues and shit and i know in the one shot between season 1 and 2 his hair is different but i refuse to believe that >:( anyway thats all i picked up i probably can think of alot more but these were a few off the top of my head! (i cant find much for the delusional disorder since its only small details but let me hc jeeze >:() ~ Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, and Delusional Disorder

theres one specific monologue that makes me claw at the fences but i cant find it right now. Just know its true because i know everything and i said so ~ OSDD-1b

Rolan Deep (Blood in the Bayou)

(Submitted for PTSD, OCD, Tic disorder and generally neurodivergent)

I’ve only listened to the first episode of BITB but GOODNESS the neurodivergentness this man radiates is ASTOUNDING. he totally has flashbacks to the bodies in the bayou incident or whatever and the fact it got so bad he moved TO THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY says a lot. also I love him.  ~ Neurodivergent

About Us!

To start this off, we're a RAMCOA and mixed origins system, that bothers you? Feel free to leave

Now that that's over with, hi! Nice to meet ya, welcome to the chaos. The main side who runs this blog is Manik, he's an Angel Dust fictive from Hazbin Hotel and goes by any pronouns :) He's our front anchor and host, and we rely on him for a lot of stability in the system. Another host we have is Kringe, although he's mostly in co-con, he may fuck around here sometimes tho!

Our system origins are fucking weird but we're a distorpid system + esogenic + gateway + delusionbased + HC-DID + cephaloconcious system however even though we are an HC-DID system we still just call ourselves endogenic because it's easier and fits us better. We have a duplex system (sharing a system completely, our "innerworld" is the same) with our honorary sibling @oxygenatedbots

About the system - We're a system of 800+ as of last updated, but our system is forever growing and we consider it to be eternal. We also are uncomfortable with the terms alters/headmates being used for us due to our origins and prefer the terms sides/sysmates when referring to us. Of course, you can also just use our names. Most sides originate due to spirtual beliefs but we believe trauma has also majorly influenced our system, with that being said, we are primarily endogenic and have decided we have been plural for a good while, but when we did "split" we were going through extreme trauma, so really we don't know what we split from but we do believe you dont have to split from trauma. Oh, also please don't use the word "innerworld" when referring to us! Call it Alpime or the Inneruniverse, thanks!

DM me asking for a cat pic to cheer you up, I shall deliver

SEND ME ASKS FOR STUFF YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT. We'll post poetry, short stories, alterhumanity, non-humanity and system related things if ya ask!

Pronouns ~ Collectively He/They/Thrive/Grow/Way/Path//Point/World/Cosmo/Void/Planet/Star/Moon/Night/Astro/Dark/Shadow/Spirit/Glow/Glimpse/Ghost/Fade/Dreary/Corrupt/Virus/Hack/Glitch/Music/Song

Kintypes ~ Voidkin and snow leopard therian. (But I will say, our voidkin identity is heavily influenced on being a plural system)

About me ~ The body is minor so please be aware of that. Anyways I'm a proud mom to three cats, love them all equally (we know that's a lie) we can't get any diagnosises due to our own situation irl however we are self diagnosed with a lot- so here's the full list. DID, anxiety, depression, OCD, NPD, BPD, schizophrenia, autism and ADHD. BPD and OCD tend to collectively be shared across the system to a more extreme extent, but specifically OCD, and we all tend to experience both of those very similarly. We consider ourselves mentally and physically disabled, even though we can't get a diagnosis for anything due to personal reasons we know at least we are limited in a lot of areas. About the physical disability we don't know exactly what it is but we experience constant lightheadedness and sometimes blurry vision and it genuinely negatively impacts our daily life

Posting schedule ~ we post poems sometimes! Depends on motivation levels and how busy we are but that's actually why we started this blog! and then depending on other shit sometimes we'll do short stories, system posts and alterhumanity related posts. Yes this blog is chaotic, yes atm it's mainly reblogs, no we don't give a fuck.

Stuffs I write ~ I write a lot of darker topics in my poetry such as us ruining the world, mental health, etc. I do put trigger warnings on some of my posts so please keep this in mind y'all. About my short stories, I wrote partially just fiction stuff or I may start with a prompt. The other half of the stuff I write is going to be werewolf/Lycanthropy/therianthropy themed!

DNI ~ Idgaf who interacts anymore, if I don't like you I'll block you but just be aware of our identities and apply your DNI to us, if we're in it get the fuck out. We're probably that freak in your DNI anyways (totally stolen from a friend, love ya!)

Misc ~ PLEASE GIVE ME RECOMMENDATIONS!!! Feel free to *flood* my inbox with requests, I will get to them! I'd seriously love to know what y'all want for short stories and poetry! If you give me a recommendation it will be a bonus post and not one of my daily things! Spam likes are fine, welcome, and appreciated! It's always great to know what y'all enjoy. Feel free to ask as many questions as you want about my writing and also criticise me! I'm totally welcome to take y'all's advice and I'd love to improve on my work! Also feel free to send me drafts for poems, I will make them my own style and give you full credit for the ideas and how it was executed ^^

About the blog-ish: Different sides may post certain things, some will leave sign offs, others won't, but be aware of this. My blog is not a place of hate or to discriminate, I want this to be a safe space. Do not come to my blog being a bitch, or saying my beliefs are not valid, or saying other's beliefs are not valid. I will block anyone who says stuff like that. This blog is centered around writing, alterhumanity and system shit. If I fuck some info up in a post TELL ME. I do research everything but I've had some angry people dming me, please politely say I messed up info and don't scream at me. I am trying my best, but my best isn't always perfectly accurate. I primarily speak from my own experiences but when I don't I'm relying on the beautiful thing we call the Internet and opinions vary on here. I want to make my content as accurate and relatable as possible so please do tell me if I mess up. This blog also mentions mental health and trauma occasionally so typically I do put TWs. Anyways, that's all! Love ya!

I need friends, feel free to reach out (especially if a system, would love more system friends. Also only minors, bc the body is sadly

I think that's it, thanks!

Last updated ~ April 4, 2024 - Manik

rottmnt headcannon time

Nov 5, 2023: This is from Jan 11, 2021 btw!! Old old old headcanons but I still like them

Raph 

(Head’s up- almost everything I headcannon on the big guy is me projecting)

-Genderfluid/Genderqueer (thanks sascha) Panromantic Demiromantic Asexual

-He’s the least educated on LBGTQIA+ terms (that honor goes to Leo)

-This kinda caused him to go through a sexuality crisis and for a while he thought he was aroace like Donnie until Leo helped him out with understanding the aro spectrum

-He has social anxiety. It’s a moderate case- little on the extreme side. (Let me project)

-He has separation anxiety (extreme case)

(-It’s kind of implied in S1:21A, but) I imagine Raph lost Splinter and his brothers in NY when he was little, and since then he’s had nightmares and fears of losing his family or waking up one day and they aren’t there. (Time to write some angst :D)

-Very introverted (unless he’s in a fight, then he pretty talkative because he’s more confident)

-Dyslexic (Donnie’s the one that helps him if he can’t understand a word)

-He tries really hard to finish the book he’s reading but either gets too bored, forgets about it, or reading it gets too hard (if it’s the third option he’ll try to read it again bc he doesn’t like quitting)

-ADHD (inattentive type)

-Chews on his mask tails (I love this headcanon so much and I do the same thing with my hair)

-Overprotective (like if you lay a hand on his family, you’re probably going to die by his hands)

-Loves food, like anything with tons of flavor.

-Not a fan of clothing. Even with clothes measured to fit him, he won’t wear them. He’ll do it if it’s needed for a mission or for something of importance.

-He’s a decent cook. Not as good as Mikey, but the family enjoys his meals.

-The only thing he can’t make is popcorn (He’ll always accidently burn at least one bag)

-Developed a minor dissociative disorder and his anxiety became more extreme when Leo became leader

-Tried to learn German (He’s not the best, but the words are easier for him to understand)

Donnie

-Nonbinary Aromantic Asexual

-Doesn’t mind he/him but prefers if people used they/them

-Ambivert (More of a introvert)

-Hates physical contact

-But LOVES compression. Every blanket he owns is weighted, his battle shell is a pressure stim, loves hoodies because of how heavy they are (Projecting, projecting)

-He has depression 

-Perfectionist

-Slight OCD

-When Donnie cooks, he’ll spend hours in the kitchen and no one is allow in. (It doesn’t taste good after either) (He’s better with machines)

-Knows a good of ASL (American sign-language) and JSL (Japanese sign-language) He studied ASL more than JSL because they live in NY.

-Learned some German when he helps Raph study the language, and French when he was helping Mikey, Leo taught him some Spanish

Leo

-Bisexual Gray-Aromantic Demiboy (Prefers neopronouns)

-He has imposter syndrome. He doesn’t feel like he’s doing enough for the team and copes by trying to seem overconfident. (This also plays a factor in his becoming leader as he feels like he doesn’t deserve the role)

-He has a dissociative disorder

-Extremely extroverted

-ADHD (hyperactive)

-Red/Green colorblind (hence why blue is his favorite color) 

-He’ll usually go into flight mode and freeze if he’s in really bad danger (the brothers have tried to snap him out of it) then he’ll joke it off

-Jokes are his comfort (Kind of cannon)

-NEVER LET THIS MAN INTO A KITCHEN. The last time he cooked, the lair almost burned down.

-Speaks nearly perfect Spanish. He picked up a few words when with Señor Hueso leading to him asking the Hueso to teach him Spanish. (He was a surprisingly fast learner.) He has a harder time reading Spanish.

-Loves singing songs in Spanish

Mikey

-Gay, (still haven’t decided a gender but I’m thinking agender, trans, or boyflux)

-Bites/chews his nails when his nervous, excited, or overstimulated

-Best chef award goes to him

-He’s the one that’s always trying something new

-Not a fan of learning languages. (It’s just not something he enjoys doing) With that said, he can read a fair amount of French, yet he can’t speak it as well.

April

-Omniromantic Asexual

-She’s a choir and theatre kid

-Introduced Leo and Donnie to the theatre world 

Mad Dogs

- They all are nearly fluent in Japanese and English. This is mainly because Splinter wanted them to learn a few languages and even encourages them to learn more.

- the turtles base their ages off April’s age (16) and who Splinter claimed the oldest and youngest to be. 

-They throw a Karaoke competition in the lair sometimes. (Leo is the reigning champion as always) 

-Leo and April bond over singing and sing duets all the time (No one in the base complains) 

-Leo and Donnie like to sing “Confrontation” from Jekyll & Hyde ALL. THE. TIME. 

-Donnie and Leo aren’t allowed in the kitchen. 

-Leo and Raph learn to co-lead

-Whenever Raph is having a (social) problem he’ll either go to Leo or April for help

-Splinter used to call them by the color of their marks Donnie was purple, Mikey was orange, Leo was red, Raph was green. (And I’m going to write a fic later I swear) (NOV 11, 2023: I DID WRITE THAT FIC)

Austin is not settling down anytime soon. He is going to be working on his career and probably won’t get married until he is in his mid to late 30s. Nobody here actually knows what goes on in their “relationship”. Everybody just has theories. So as much as people may argue with the fact that we are “delusional” and that they “couldn’t be more in love” and that they are “endgame” they are just spewing shit out of their ass. Just like we don’t know what there relationship is like, neither do they. Yet they think that because they are happy for his relationship that they are better than us. We don’t think that this is pr because we are jealous and want to be with him (don’t get me wrong I would kill to be with Austin but I’m not delusional and I know that, that is never going to happen.) we think this is pr because we have seen time and time again that he doesn’t look happy. We have seen time and time again pr ploys to get us to believe that they are in love. We have seen time and time again that Kaia calls the paps to show how good of a “girlfriend” she is. And we have seen time and time again that he wants out. He does it in simple ways of lashing out when he’s papped with her, wearing a mask, not holding her hand, etc. I hope that when he gets out. Whether that is this year or next that he will take some time to focus on himself and maybe a year after he is recovered he will be able to date for real and find his forever person eventually. All I want is for him to be happy. And you can quite easily tell that it’s not with her.

Okay that was a lot holy shit sorry bout that lol. Also as someone with ADHD and OCD I definitely think he has a little something going on. I didn’t find out I had either until mid Covid so I hope that he is doing alright in that department and taking care of himself as best he can. Okay rant is finally over. Have a good night Linds and all the other anons. :)

i love you babe, i've seen your other messages and thought i would publish this one and end my night on tumblr with it :)

thank you for your input as always! and i agree with what you said. there's not a whole lot for me to interject with my own thoughts because we share the same ones!

tell me ur most deranged mike warren thoughts :) for fun :)

YES okay first off he’s so transgender it’s crazy. evidence:

this is a list now. secondly i think his relationship with briggs is genuinely almost on par with hannigram as far as radioactive levels of toxic gay manipulation goes

he has adhd but that’s basically canon from a deleted scene but also he just . the symptoms are So very present okay

he’s bisexual but that’s a given

he also has ocd but that’s cuz im me. me seeing a character have intrusive thoughts a grand total of one time and also counted birds once: Guys the simpsons (synptoms)………the fucjign symptoms………………….

i don’t think the graceland family bonfires were ever the same for him after he burned lina; the smell of smoke/burning would’ve already bothered him a lot after cauterizing that guy’s arm in 1x08 but after lina it probably became almost unbearable

i actually have an entire trigger list for mike that’s almost a page long but we don’t have to get into all of that right now

he’s the little spoon idgaf!!!!!!!

sometimes i look at him and think thats a butch lesbian on t. what who said rhat

im shaking the can

🔫 talk about lasko (please and thank you)

(Shall I tag you in the post(s) that will definitely be made after I have absorbed the audios I missed (mostly one of them?))

The irony of the struggle of loving a character who I see a lot of myself in is not lost on me! Traits I find endearing in fictional characters and other people I find annoying in myself so I'm working on that!

Lasko as a dude is so genuine--as, indeed, are all the DAMN Bois (eventually. Gavin)--and that's important to me. Babe has no filter, though, bless him, he tries. Darling, precious, beautiful chatterbox who knows things and wants to share those things with people and wants to know what other people know. He rambles and overshares and he's a little nosy but not in gossipy way, he just wants to know!

Had some bad childhood that probably made him even more of a gentle and caring person who sticks his neck out for strangers. Loves his friends! So much! Loves DnD and has far too many characters and dice (same).

(Certainly projecting-->) Autistic, ADHD, a little OCD and plenty of anxiety, imposter syndrome, insomnia, cold hands, Bad Posture, Some Kind of Gender.

I’m obsessed with the way any time something horny is brought up he’s scandalized at first, thinks about it for a moment, and then is like “yeah let’s do it.” He’s characterized, in an out-of-universe, as shy, but he also goes for it, you know? He can be so sly so suddenly and it always takes my breath away. Examples: 1) The fully-canonical first time he meets you, asks “which 7-Eleven?”, and then says he’s gonna go somewhere because he’s “thirsty.” Excuse me? Whore (Affectionate). 2) The end of his confession audio where he suggests you keep kissing him to help him stop swearing. Sir? Sir.

(Incoming Thirst)

His laugh? Heavenly. His whines? Immaculate. I feel like the amount that I’m into Lasko says Pretty Much Everything about me lmao like it’s a little embarrassing. I like the other dudes but fuck, man. IRL I’m Severely Asexual but this silly imaginary wind boy fucks me UP and I wanna give him the world. All the worlds. The horny and non-horny. I wanna give this man kisses and dinners and snuggles and vibrators and new ties and hugs and a place to rest, you know? I dunno. This is kind of incoherent but there you have it! There’s always more. The depths of my love for Lasko uhhh just keep goin’ but I am So Tired

Hey. 💗✨

Probably should have done this introduction stuff months ago but never really thought about it until now. So, here we go.

Name:

Odyssey/Ody/Alannah

Born:

12th July, 1999

Star sign:

Cancer

Age:

24

Pronouns:

She/her

Nationality:

Irish (and I still live in Ireland)

Skin tone:

White/Caucasian

Sexuality:

Bisexual

◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉

Likes:

Music (Gorillaz, Franz Ferdinand, The Chemical Brothers, yuné pinku, Kate Bush, Coldplay, Blur, etc.), art, water colours, pastel colours, cats, rabbits, horses, flowers, movies (mostly horror/supernatural/animated/comedy movies), anime (just got back into it with "Bungo Stray Dogs" after 5 years of not watching any), the works of Tim Burton (mostly his films, but back in November, I started watching "Wednesday"), supernatural beings, photography, chocolate - dark chocolate too, coffee, latte, cappuccino, hot chocolate, bowling, the colour purple, pizza, Chinese food, Indian food, burgers, noodles/ramen, Identity V, arcade games and air hockey.

Dislikes:

Country music, opera music, tea, spicy food, golf, football (the European kind, but yeah, pretty sure the American version counts too), rugby, heights, overcrowded places, social situations (I have social anxiety disorder, ever since I was a kid - I always feel too overwhelmed and stuck for words) - this especially goes for speaking in front of people or presenting something to them, swimming (almost drowned once on holidays, I slipped on the pool floor and fell under for a few seconds - I was terrified), seafood, art stealers and tracers, being alone or left out and spiders.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Extra Information:

I'm a very creative person. Got a head filled with tons of art ideas ever since I was a little girl. I only do traditional art right now and currently use an app called "Snapseed" to edit them. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to do digital art. 😊🤞🏻

I also love taking pictures, sometimes, of myself (yeah, selfies). Mostly though, I prefer taking pictures of anything around me. Usually ends up being street, nature and/or landscape photography. Been interested in it for well over six years. 📸

Been interested in anything supernatural for the past decade now. Which ends up being my favourite kind of horror movie/TV show genre. Animated or not. My family thinks I have a problem. 😆

I may have OCD and ADHD. I'm not exactly sure, since I was never diagnosed. But I feel like I have both. There's definitely something going on in my head that itches if I don't do this or that. Or if something feels out of place. 😣

By the way, I fully support the LGBTQ+ community, given the fact that I'm of course, a part of it myself. So, any hate expressed towards the community, I definitely don't tolerate it. Not even on my profile. Anyone who expresses such hate will be blocked and reported.

The same thing goes for racism and any hate towards any religion, and even someone's culture. Blocked and reported. Everyone is accepted here.

✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭✭

If anyone has any questions, anything you guys want to know about me that I didn't mention here, feel free to ask. Nothing inappropriate though. Keep it SFW.

Thank you. ♥︎♥︎

So a while back...

I was typing up that rambling description about Cherenkov radiation, and spoke about how I was pretending it was for the benefit of someone out there who might not know about it, but really I was doing it because I wanted to. I alluded to something that I hadn't really intended to talk about, but then, thinking about it I was wondering if I should...

So yeah, here's that thing.

So I'm gonna try to just dive right in, because to be honest this topic is making me anxious as hell. Because well, I don't really know if I have any right to be dealing with it publicly, since I have no idea if it applies to me. Yet.

I might be autistic.

Yeah minefield right? >_< So. Now the longer version. Because that was horribly vague and awkward, I know, sorry. I just wanted to get the subject line out there so I don't ramble for twenty pages without actually getting there.

Last year, someone in my family was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. They are very young, as is typical for these diagnosis, and it was a long time coming. (The individual probably isn't non-binary to be clear. But is very young, and I want to put out as little real information about them as possible including gender, hence vague pronouns.) We all knew they were a bit different, in some areas operating as if they were many years older than their actual age, and in others many years younger. I won't get into the specifics of their case, what's important with regards to my story is that this got many people in my family to start learning about ASD. We have a very large family. So this meant a lot of people close to me learning about this at once.

This lead to me getting the same reaction from a significant number of people who know me pretty well, all within a few weeks. "Hey doesn't this sound like you?"

So for the first few, I blew it off. It's a "trendy" diagnosis these days. People literally chase it, which creeps me out, and I really don't want to be associated with people like that. Also, I told myself, it's probably just the ADHD, they share a lot of markers, and I've generally got reasons for why I have certain behaviours in common. So it's just a coincidence. I mean I've been doing fine for this long, and I relate to people okay now. Mostly. Okay maybe not so good. But I get along with the people who know me well enough. I don't have trouble understanding other peoples emotions or motivations. In fact I'm very good at it. So that can't be right.

But the questions kept coming.

And coming

And coming

And at some point I guess I stopped dismissing it off hand and started actually trying to refute the points. Which of course, requires actually thinking about them.

And it started being kind of hard to refute =/

So for example. I've always had ADHD. Maybe. When I actually stop and think about it I was never actually diagnosed. It was just something adults started saying about me in elementary school. But it was never diagnosed or treated.

I have some kind of OCD. Maybe. Also never diagnosed or treated. But I can be obsessive about hand washing. Like really obsessive. Wash my hands ten times in a row because I still don't feel clean obsessive. Crooked pictures bother me. Lots of things.

I seem to have some kind of anxiety disorder. It comes and goes, but it can be a real problem. This one wasn't properly diagnosed, but was medicated for a while, which only made things much worse.

But as I went through and actually researched to try and refute the argument for ASD, I hit stumbling blocks.

Yeah I relate to people fairly well now. But to be fair I've had several decades of practice. If I think back I remember so many times where I really didn't understand why people were mad at me. I would think I was just "joining in" to be proven very, very wrong. I can look back now at some of the things I did and cannot fathom why I thought it was a good idea. Why I thought that people felt one way, when it was so very clear that I was wrong. I struggled badly to relate to my peers. At the time it was explained as a result of my upbringing. It was pretty atypical, and didn't allow for a lot of practice dealing with people my own age.

But what if that wasn't the cause? What if that would have happened regardless?

The OCD... While I obsessively wash my hands, and can't stand a wide array of standard OCD triggers, I also have no problem with others. I'm quite a slob. My living space is a constant mess of clutter. So why the contradiction?

What if... What if my issues aren't actually OCD related, but sensory? I just can't handle the feeling of anything on my hands, visual input that doesn't line up, things like that? It might actually fit far better than OCD, as I have a huge issue with scents as well.

With the anxiety... Well that one's a bit of a wash. I understand it goes along with ASD pretty tightly. But also with ADHD. I read somewhere that the majority of anxiety disorders are actually caused by untreated ADHD, I can't find anything backing that up statistically, but I can certainly find very tight links between them.

Then there's all the other little things. Like Info-dumps (Hello Cherenkov Radiation, and a hundred other things I've posted about over the years)

I think it was actually here on tumblr that I read someone posting about different love languages. And it connected so strongly with me that I actually ended up in tears trying to explain it to someone later >_<. It was suddenly super clear that I had been repeating a number of these supposedly ASD love language things. I hadn't realized how important some stupid little things I'd been doing were to me, and how much it was hurting when it was ignored, until I read it, spelled out like that.

So yeah... All of this combined has me pretty sure now that I fall somewhere on the ASD spectrum. And I'm really, really not sure how I feel about that.

On the one hand, it's already been helpful. The love language thing alone has really helped me with processing some things I won't go into. And much as when I got my cancer diagnosis, it feels like this makes a lot of things make sense that didn't before ( I'm not comparing the two in any way that's meaningful to the actual diagnosis. I'm saying the resolution of a mystery is helpful in a similar way, even if it offers no practical "solution". To be crystal clear, I'm NOT saying ASD is like Cancer. So just stop with that.)

On the other... Well. I'm not a kid. This isn't something coming along during my formative years. I've spent thirty plus years coming to terms with "me". I've always been odd. And figuring that out, and how to be happy, has been a LOT of work over the years. But the work is done for the most part. I'm happy. I'm comfortable. And this comes along feeling like a damn wrecking ball. Like oh, the way I am isn't because of my upbringing, or my parents, or my personality, but just a quirk of genetics? And yes, I know that nothing has changed, even if it's true then this is just the way I've always been and this is just a new way of thinking about it...

But it feels different in a way I can't quite express =/

And I really don't know how to feel about it =/

On top of that, I've seen what parts of the world do with adults who "come out" as autistic. It's seen as a trendy thing now. Like Fibromyalgia. A way to dodge responsibility, or excuse shitty behaviour. (Again to be clear, I'm not calling it or Fibromyalgia that. I'm saying a lot of people do, and treat people differently as a result of their belief). And to be honest I'm a little afraid of what will happen. How some people will react. I'm already a "special snowflake" for many other reasons. I know tons of people will just see this as me co-opting yet another identity to try to be special.

Soooo, yeah. This is me testing the waters. "Coming out" as it were, somewhere safer than IRL =/. It's also early. I can't confirm anything. I don't even know HOW to confirm anything.

I have decided that I want to know though. I want to confirm things. One way or the other. But I'm stalled. Waiting to hear back from a few agencies and doctors. As so far I don't even know where to start =/

So yeah. That's the story. Rambling Info-dump over.

Just gotta get up the nerve to hit post.

Skolsystemet be like:

Oh this kid is giving off neurodivergent vibes... Let's investigate! Oh she has signs of both ADHD and dyslexia? Well... The symptoms aren't traditional, so let's give her special ed classes which will make things so much harder for her since the teacher was awful! What she says she learns better in class? Haha, kids! So funny. She goes to a doctor because she's tired all the time. They find nothing wrong and gives her iron supplements. She goes about 10 years thinking she's a complete fucking imbecile because we never informed her of her learning disabilities, nor gave the kids proper information on said states of mind. She doesn't even start considering an actual diagnosis until she makes a school presentation about OCD. OH look she's going go the school counselor:). And that counselor says these intrusive thoughts are normal and she decides that she apperantly does not need help! Look at us! We're so good :). Another year passes and she's ranting to her friend, who asks if she has ADHD, and suddenly she realises that not everyone can't think because her brain is screaming and being silent at the same time. She starts doing her own research and look at that! She's learning more about herself in a matter of minutes! Well it's not our fault :). She makes time with BUP, but they can't do a proper investigation until a year and a and a couple months later. Her intrusive thoughts have gotten so much worse, and luckily her family is close to a doctor, who gets fucking pissed at BUP, and sends her to the häslocentral for exposure therapy. She's diagnosed with severe OCD within a session. Oops. She finally gets her ADHD diagnos! But since we only use this one format for 8 year old boys on everyone, this 17 year old AFAB woman can only manage go get light ADD, even though she was 1 criteria away from middle severe ADHD. She gets proper medicine a couple months later and is going so much better! Oh and she even realised she probably has dyscalculia, which we didn't even tell her existed. Oh she's so ready for her final year of school! Oh... We forgot she has this one course which we can't fit anywhere on her schedule... Oh... No one knows what to do... Oh... She's losing 100 FUCKING POINTS FOR REASONS SHE CAN'T CONTROL BECAUSE WE FUCKED UP. The principal left her on read... Oh deary us :3

She barley made it through school because of reasons she couldn't control, and now she's losing points because we messed up. Oh well! Another kid on the hall, another brick in the wall :3

Round 3 Poll:

Pictures and propaganda are under the cut!

William Wisp (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, Cotard’s Syndrome, AVPD, PTSD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder, OSDD-1b/Plurality, and BPD)

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t have massive anxiety  ~ Anxiety

I mean his whole thing is that he is literally dead and alive at the same time. One of the first things introduced about him is how quickly he can make himself go invisible/seem like he doesn’t exist. The autism is just because he’s silly :3  ~ Autism and Cotard’s Syndrome

Just like. Look into his eyes and you’ll know. But also don’t he’s autistic how dare you  ~ Autism and Anxiety

- Deep-rooted low self esteem. He’s always felt weird and different, sees himself as inherently wrong, a fuck up and a disappointment. He struggles to even see himself as a person, especially when he was dead. He puts his friends on a pedestal (especially Dakota) and sees himself as someone way beneath them.  - Relatively okay with maintaining some surface level relationships but struggles with expressing his deeper feelings or talking about his past. Always vague and incredibly apologetic, quick to brush past it whenever it comes up.  - Very self-conscious and ashamed of his powers, especially early on. He asks people to look away when he goes into spirit form, and only does it in extreme circumstances. Only comfortable when he’s in the purple morph suit, where he feels like he can be seen as a different person. - When Dakota gives him his heart he immediately feels like he has to dedicate his whole life to making it up to him (literally gets a new complication bc of that). Feels undeserving of kindness or help from others.   - Quick to give up when he isn’t absolutely certain of an outcome. Extreme reluctance to take risks, (avoiding using his powers because he doesn’t trust himself to control them, running and hiding during fights)  ~ AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder)

Well its been a while since i spedrun pd but what ive picked up is; They wear alot of layers which could be a texture thing or an unbalance to coldness and warmness and that bitch is definitely queer which is more common for autistic/adhd folks since they tend to be less reliant on social norms and thus more open about their sexuality and gender! Another think is in both the designs his hair only goes does to his neck i have autism and my hair HAS to be a specific length or like texture issues and shit and i know in the one shot between season 1 and 2 his hair is different but i refuse to believe that >:( anyway thats all i picked up i probably can think of alot more but these were a few off the top of my head! (i cant find much for the delusional disorder since its only small details but let me hc jeeze >:()  ~ Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, and Delusional Disorder

theres one specific monologue that makes me claw at the fences but i cant find it right now. Just know its true because i know everything and i said so  ~ OSDD-1b

Vyncent Sol (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, DID/Plurality, OCD, and generally neurodivergent)

I do not care that it isn’t canon system Vyncent owns my soul  ~ DID I’ve only seen the free episodes but GOODNESS. First of all the multiple personalities are an obvious choice, the fact that he’s from another world and struggles to adapt to this world is SO autism coded for so many reasons, plus just. HIM is so autistic-like I can’t put words to it but it just is. The OCD is just vibes and projection honestly  ~ Autism, Plural, OCD, ND

[TWs: Intrusive thoughts, CSA and Online NCCSA mentions, rape mentions, self harm mentions (specifically via cutting), masturbation mentions, there will probably be a suicide mention too but I'm not sure I'm writing this before writing the actual post] Hey. You probably don't remember me, so I'll reintroduce myself. I'm ☀️, that's what I went by last time anyway. I'm 15 now, and I still have all the same issues. I've been groomed and/or sexually objectified five times, developed intrusive thoughts after the fifth time, still struggling with hypersexuality and compulsive masturbation, ADHD, there's a high chance I have Moral OCD or POCD maybe both I don't know, and it's been I think a good six months since my previous real message And I'm here again because everything has gotten ten times worse. I found out a few months ago that I often have intrusive thoughts when I'm aroused or masturbating, meaning when I engage in any type of sexual activity with myself, my thoughts that I find arousing are often in the same presence as thoughts I find disgusting all the while I'm still bodily aroused, and I do not think I have to say just how absolutely fucking awful that feels. That is a feeling I wouldn't wish on even the most deplorable people in the world. And because I am hypersexual and compulsively masturbate, nothing will ever truly satisfy me, so I am forced to feel this torture again and again and again until i am physically too tired to do any more. I've never been actually raped or assaulted thank god but I feel like this is the closest I'll ever get to experiencing it cause it honestly feels like I'm assaulting myself. And it's been too much. I don't know when it started but I know it was this month, but recently I've started cutting my upper arms and shoulders with a knife that's in my room. It's not a sharp knife as it's part of a gold utensils set, but it's enough to leave scars. I know I'm doing a bad thing to myself but I'm honestly starting to not care, maybe I deserve it for allowing myself to sink this low. That's not to say it's been all bad, I've recently taken up both platonic and romantic self shipping to sorta distract myself from all of these problems, and it has been nice but even that has had it's down side. One of my platonic f/os (fictional ones) is a character that I see as my little sister due to our similar traumas, and that has been sweet, but recently all of my intrusive thoughts have been about her. I would never hurt her or draw anything gross with her that's my goddamn baby, but that doesn't stop intrusive thoughts I'm honestly just at a loss on what to do. If it weren't for the fact that I have people who care about me I probably would've jumped off a balcony by now, and I'm not planning on doing that because that's stupid, I'm not going to hurt other people just because I'm hurt. But honestly, the other options don't seem pleasing either. I'm definitely dropping out of high school once I legally can because I've just about given up on my education, I've missed weeks of schoolwork due to my mental health and I'm definitely going to have to repeat the 9th grade. And I don't have a chance in college. I'm barely able to draw anymore because of my mental health so I probably can't make a job out of that, and there's honestly not much out for me. The only thing I have is my cringy story that probably won't become an actual thing until I'm like 17. At this point, I feel hopeless. Please tell me what you would do in my shoes.

HI ☀️,

I remember you and I appreciate you reintroducing yourself. I'm sorry to hear that things have gotten worse for you lately. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your struggles, and please know you're not alone.

The presence of intrusive thoughts during sexual activities can be distressing and confusing, especially when they involve things that goes against your values and beliefs. It's important to remember that intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of who you are as a person or your true desires. They are a common experience, especially for trauma survivors.

Please know that intrusive thoughts don't reflect your values. Thoughts like these tend to get more persistent the more you fight them. It's not easy at first, but learning to simply acknowledge that you're having the thought and allowing it to pass like every other thought can help. Some people benefit from visualizing a stream (of consciousness) where each thought is a lily pad, placing the thought on the lily pad and watching it drift away.

It's positive to hear that you've found some distraction and solace through platonic and romantic self-shipping. Engaging in creative outlets can provide momentary escape and comfort. But if you find that intrusive thoughts are interfering with your enjoyment of these activities, it might be helpful to explore different coping strategies or expand your interests to other hobbies that feel safer and more fulfilling for you.

I understand that it feels daunting to contemplate your future, especially when you're feeling hopeless. It's essential to give yourself time and space to heal, seek professional support, and explore different avenues that align with your interests and strengths. While it may feel challenging now, it's important to remember that circumstances can change, and there are opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment ahead.

Given the intensity of your experiences, you may want to speak with a mental health professional such as a therapist who specializes in trauma or OCD. A therapist can provide you with guidance, support, and evidence-based techniques to help manage your intrusive thoughts, hypersexuality, and compulsive behaviors. Therapy can also help you navigate your self-worth, process your traumas, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Please know that we care about you and want to support you through this difficult time. Consider reaching out to trusted individuals in your life and seeking professional help. You deserve care, understanding, and the opportunity to heal.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun