#sam porter bridges x higgs monaghan x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

danddymaro · 3 years

Text

Death Stranding | Stolen Princess

Pairing : Higgs monaghan X Reader // Sam Bridges x Reader

Previous: Open Heart

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Wordcount: 3949

- LOL Higgs is so off his nut.

Pt 5 : Stolen Princess

The long-haired brunette trudged through the ridged trail, his two gloved hands firmly holding onto the straps that were snugly draped over his shoulders, holding all of his cargo gear in place as he traveled, simultaneously steadying his every step.

"Almost there," He said lowly, his light-colored eyes aimed straight, already knowing the route by heart despite not having traveled through the area in what felt like an entire lifetime.

"Almost there..." he said again, the entirety of his body feeling strained by the travel, yet ready for whatever opposing factor that came in his path.

"Gotta keep going..." he reminded himself, the concerned male determined to meet the marker before sundown, not wanting to waste another day.

"I have ... I have to..." He maundered with a stumbled step, his body slowly shutting down on him while he forced himself through the terrain in spite of the physical torture, the porter not willing to let anything stop him from reaching (f/n). "Goddammit..." He huffed, forced to halt for just a moment, bending over to take a small breather that became prolonged as the weight of his delivery brought him further down to a knee.

"Fuck," He cursed lowly, his right arm shooting down to place a hand at the ground beneath him to help push himself back up, the action being strained. "Come on," He said with a long exhale, his will unstirred because while he was currently beaten down, he had yet to be defeated.

'I Have to make it there, no matter what,' He told himself, remembering that it wasn't just a little visit.

It wasn't just because he missed her.

'She needs me,' He convinced himself.

He'd brought a lot of things he was certain she'd need; necessities he knew she couldn't live without. While of course, it had made his progress lag, he wasn't willing to go empty-handed, especially while knowing she needed him.

- Because she’d become talk amongst the other porters.

Rumors arose of a woman caught in a treacherous storm, isolated from the rest of the world, morso than anyone else.

No one could reach her, and by then she’d stopped her attempts to reach out, and he’d only just caught wind of it.

During the entire time, he knew he should have paced himself, especially while carrying so much material. He'd been making deliveries for years now, most of which were on foot, so he knew just what to do during the times of travel and furthermore understood how dangerous it was to use up so much energy over such a small period of time, and yet, even then he couldn't help himself. And he reasoned that perhaps it was just the dark cloud that always loomed over him that rattled him furthermore.

'Maybe....maybe I'm just paranoid.' He thought to himself, hoping for the best, wanting to blame all of his worries on his own heavily faulted psyche. "For all I know... you're just fine," He said to himself, tiredly looking up at the cleared sky, taking notice that it was a lot brighter now than it had been the last time he was there.

' At least it's brighter outside,' He told himself, 'If anything, you're spending your time outside,' He went on, hoping that he'd find her just outside her home, idly walking about the overgrown patches of green as a tranquil pastime.

' I hope that you are...' He added.

Within her encasement, Lou floated calmly, rolling her little body into a small spin that expressed playfulness, showing that she knew just where he was headed. She couldn't properly voice it, but he just knew she felt elation. A little gurgle fell past her lips as she continued to wiggle, making him softly chuckle, "You too huh?" He asked the child in the glass, smiling weakly at the show of joy, his face which had until then only showed restlessness, giving out a little glow of joy,

'You missed her too,' He mused, knowing that even if she couldn't understand, it didn't take away from her ability to feel.

She felt love as well.

She felt longing.

She felt the connection that was there too.

"Don't worry: We're almost there," He assured his BB, trying to find ease himself, desperately trying to focus on the wonderful feeling that always came as he reached her, itching for the same sweet high it always brought.

'Just a little more (f/n).

I'm almost there,'

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Right from the start, he'd felt on edge, an unsettling unease wedged within the cracks of his heart, and it only spiked furthermore as he approached the home, realizing that the perimeter around the area was off.

The system that kept her home safe was shut off, and the realization caused his slowing steps to once again pick up, his legs moving in quick strides to reach the usually sealed off passage, stopping before it with a halted breath.

"It's wide open," He said lowly, a cold sweat falling down his brow as he gripped the arch of the doorway, holding on tightly. His foot rose up, but throughout the motion to move forward he shook, hesitating for a reason unknown to him, but that felt so similar to dread, he took the liberty to call it just that.

'I should have stormed in there by now...' He told himself, swallowing down thickly, readying his voice, trying to find it before he called out to her.

'But if I don't find her...

If I don't find her...

...What then?' He wondered helplessly, suddenly feeling weak as all of the turmoil of before that he desperately tried to fight off snuck its way into him in that very instance, hitting him with full-force.

'Where do I even begin?' He asked himself, the weight of his heart becoming unbearable as he then thought of one person, the very being that had made it his goal to make his life hell.

He thought of the devious, triumphant grin that would be out on display as he took her captive, finding yet another way to make the porter suffer.

'I never wanted to put you in harm’s way.'

"- Hey!" he said out loud, his two hands circling over his mouth as he spoke, calling her name soon after, "(f/n), you in there?" He boomed out, not receiving a reply that would calm the panic that brewed within his being.

"(f/n)! Answer me! It's me, Sam!" He exclaimed before his hand went back to the doorway, his hand tightly clutching the arch, the bruised limb crying out with pain at the unneeded force.

"(F/n)!" He said again, taking in a large breath, hearing nothing in return but the echo of his own desperate voice. With a vicious bite to his own lip, he strode forward, pushing past the cold shivers that raked him.

Once inside his eyes roamed around the walkway which led further into the home, finding nothing out of place, with not a single sign of struggle visible, and somehow it made the situation all the more distressing.

'There's not a thing out of place...' He thought to himself, knowing that the only thing that felt wrong was the dreadful vacancy of the home.

No happy Chirp welcomed him in.

No smiling, brightened face was set before him, and in that very moment, every little bit of sweet memory he had of her came to him, hitting him all at once with a powerful vengeance for daring to suppress any of it in the past. He thought of every little quirk she had, the same ones that brought a smile to him and then, if that weren't enough, he thought of her final message to him, the very one he'd only just found the courage to read,

As his eyes skimmed over the first few words, he felt his heart fasten, only imagining how the words would form when she uttered them. He'd thought about it so much, even fantasized about it that it wasn't so hard to imagine.

He envisioned the sweet curve of her lips as she said them to him, doing so just before she leaned into him with her beautiful (e/c) colored eyes shut tight, pretending that nothing existed aside from the sweet touch of their grazing skin. A crumbled nation wasn't in his hands to yet again connect, and instead, in it's place was the (h/c) haired young woman, gazing up at him with the same loving eyes she'd given him right from the start.

"I Love you," He read, repeating words that he'd long refused to ever utter, and hadn't fathomed to find meaning to ever again, not since his first love.

Whilst musing he was then halted at the sound of a familiar voice that addressed him, begging for attention.

"Sam?" It called out to him with astoundment, and at the sound of the dreadful, mocking tone, the porter's heart sank.

The Bridges's porter froze, his blue eyes set wide as he turned his head to gaze at a rather familiar face while the man it belonged to gleefully waved to him a though they were old chums in contrast to vicious foes.

The hologram that appeared before him urged him closer, his index and middle finger repeatedly curving in a fashion that beckoned him closer as though he had a little secret to tell him and it couldn't be revealed until he was near,

" I don't believe it...So...THE Sam bridges finally has the time to make his way here..." He started off, shaking his head with disbelief, "That's good to know, " He added, nodding in approval that slowly turned sour,

"I was starting to think you'd never show up," He admitted with a short mutter. "I was starting to think you forgot how to even make your way here."

"But here you are...Just ... a little too late Bridges," Higgs said while offering Sam a mock look of pity, lightly tilting his head to the side as he pressed his lips together tightly,

"So close..." He went on, pinching his fingers together, shaking his head all the while, " You were this close...So, So close if it makes you feel better," he said while pressing the digits tightly together. "You missed me by just thisss much, so we'll have to catch up another time I suppose," he said with a small shrug,

" -But before I go," Higgs said while raising up his index wagging it while nodding his head as though he'd remembered something very important, " Before I go, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine...An extra special little woman," he started a growing smile stretching his lips into a devious little curl,

"- And no, I'm not talking about your precious Amelie," He clarified.

" You've already met her, but just for the hell of it I'd like to introduce you two again," he went on before releasing a small, warm chuckle, " But I can't be too loud," he then whispered, dropping his voice down to a low breath, a gloved finger pressed to his lips,

"You see...she's asleep right now," he explained," The poor, little Angel is just so tired," he added with a blue, little sigh, which of course was all a part of his show.

"And I wouldn't want to wake her up right now," He clarified.

Just then, the image before him altered, showing not only the tall male but also capturing the image of the slumbering woman, perfectly pictured just as Sam remembered her.

It was then that Higg's gloved fingers ran over the (h/c) colored strands that fell over her face, the tips of his fingers barely grazing over her cheek as he softly moved the hair aside, each movement being gingerly sweet,

" She looks so lonely when she's this vulnerable." The short-haired male mused aloud, saying just what came to mind without a second thought. " I've had hours to stare at her like this and I still can't get over how sweet she looks," He added.

"She's breathtaking," he said while pausing for just a second,

" Isn't she beautiful?" he asked Sam, eyes looking out to the man as though he was really there, staring him down, searching for the truth. " Do you think so?" He asked with curiosity, " 'cause I think she is... I think she's damn gorgeous!" He revealed, "- A real beauty queen !" He then exclaimed strangely enough sounding prideful in the matter,

"...And she's just the sweetest," he added a soft sigh leaving him, seeming to be genuine with the admittance. "She's so sweet..." he persisted, "...So damn sweet, " he pressed on, for just a second biting his lower lip as though he were speaking of a sweet little sugar cube laying on the flat of his tongue,

"How'd you hold yourself back Bridges?" He then asked the other man, all while marveling at the sleeping woman with eyes that were unchanged from their memorized, longing state.

" 'Cause I can't keep my hands off of her," He divulged, "And it's much harder when she makes the cutest little sound when you touch her here," he said while trailing his fingers down the trim of her nightgown which ended right at her midthigh, the light, ticklish touch willing an airy, little sigh past her lips.

And at the little chime, Higgs visibly shivered, delighted of course,

"See what I mean?" He pouted, "It's like she wants me to keep going," He gloated, "But I'll just wait till later, because well, you know me, I'm a gentleman, " He proclaimed.

"With all the more reason I can't just leave here; Alone without anyone to protect her," He said with a shake to his head,

" ...without anyone to look out for her, ...without anyone to make her feel happy and loved," he added, not speaking about the breakdown she had before, but remembering it very clearly.

Of course, he adored their proximity during then. It'd been his dream to have her so close, but it'd broken his heart nonetheless, shattering the small fragments of heart he still had left.

"Such a sweet, little angel has to be tucked away, and it’s a damn same, right?" he asked Sam,

" I think It's criminal, but not much more than you hiding her away: keeping her hidden from me," Higgs said accusingly.

" I know you tried," Higgs said with mock pity. " That is why you left her heartbroken, right? " The other male questioned the Bridges porter.

"All because of little, O'l me," he added, bringing his right hands to his chest, seeming prideful with that fact. "I'm such threat to you that I'm flattered," he added with a grin, " Really ... I am," he said while chuckling, showing amusement for just a minute, when, suddenly the expression faltered, his eyes stuck on the woman instead, eyeing the state of her face as she was dozing.

'She's so damn beautiful,' He thought to himself. 'No...she's more than that. She's just precious.

You just don't belong here.

- Not in this shitty world. '

" She says she loves you so much..." Higgs started, biting his lip harshly, his hand running over his short hair, going back until his palm fell over the back of his neck, "Fuck," he sneered, " Fuck... you should just see the look in her eye when she talks about you..." he added shaking his head as he released a burst of deep, rumbling laughter.

He felt so envious over the way she'd spoken about the porter, yet, even then he made sure to engrain the sight of her beautiful face as she glowed, her eyes having little stars in them as she poured her heart out to him.

And it was so conflicting to have such a mix of emotions swaying him from bitter to sweet, every bit of him strum on every word she uttered no matter how much it scathed him.

" She says you're a hero," he started, "Get this; The guy who ditched her on her own is a hero," he added with disbelief, huffing out a bitter scoff,

' Asshole, she had only two days of supplies left when I got here; At best a fucking week if she stretched it out and starved herself, barely scaping onto life. You know damn well that only you can make your way up here.'

He thought with spite, wondering just how she could love a man that would starve her and leave her to die.

" Oh and get this," Higgs went on, " she says you're handsome...so damn handsome, you know? " he added while roaring with the same laughter.

"Her eyes belong to you," He informed the other man, detesting the fact.

'That ... and so much more.'

He'd sat through all the praise while suppressing every bit of envy he felt, hearing out just how lovingly she spoke of Sam, having had to swallow all the bitterness that he tasted.

"She'll go on and on about how blue your eyes are, or how you're greasy hair looks so so soft to her," he added while hacking in disgust. " she says she wants nothing more than to have you right there with her, laying next to her right now in fact," he said sitting down next to the woman, occupying the space that would be for the long haired brunette. " - To lay here ... right beside her every night, just to wake up face to face, cuddled up for warmth, " he said under his breath, his face slowly shifting from the lovestruck gaze to itching madness, He shuttered, visibly shaken as he glanced down at (f/n),

'You look so lovely sweetheart,' he mused, '

Just perfect.

And you need someone better than him.

You deserve so ....so much more.'

" It's all so lovely... it makes me sick." He said lowly, " I want to vomit every time she mentions you like your some sort of God," He continued, "Like you're the only thing in the world that has any meaning."

"- I can feel it travel up my stomach," he said darkly a hand falling to his abdomen as it bubbled, "And I just don't understand," he said down to the woman, seemingly speaking to her instead, his attention moving to just her.

"I don't understand why you would fix your eyes on him," he told (f/n), his fingers grazing over her lips, tracing them devotedly,

'When I'm here. When you know damn well you and I... We have something sweetie. We have something deeper...'

" Tell me, Sam, exactly why did you leave?" Higgs asked, genuinely curious because he'd seen so much sorrow fall before the woman he just had to know. He had to give her an answer. " was it because you really, really just didn't want to see her again?' He asked, insulted by the possibility of him rejecting what was possibly the perfect woman.

-Of course, he didn't want her in his arms, but even then, how dare he reject her?

How dare he throw her aside like she was some no one?

" or was it because loving her made you so sick to your stomach... if you could just see her again you'd just-" stopping, Higgs hung his head, huffing, knowing he was growing too passionate,

" You'd just lose control, " He finished in a low, shaky breath,

'because I'd understand what that's like.

I wouldn't blame you for that...

It's hard not to jump on her.

It's difficult to even be in the same room without wanting to caress her and spoil her rotten.'

" or was it because you were being considerate..." He suggested, " Was it because you couldn't bear to see this little face crying and tearing up?" He asked.

" - Is that also why you didn't look at her?

Why you simply walked away and left her sobbing?"

He questioned the other man, informing the man of just what happened after he departed, letting him know the pain he caused her.

"She cried for hours," he said while sneering, a hand pressed to his chest because he remembered that the day it all happened, he'd felt it. As crazy as it seemed he'd felt the pain echoing in his very chest. Even while he wasn't aware, he'd felt it and just knew it was his darling. He knew it was her heartache being shared with him.

" She told me... She let me know how you broke her heart..." He growled, then speaking of her confessions to him,

" And the least you could have done is said your goodbye," he added while scowling.

"Send her an apology.

Tell her it's over...

Do something for her instead of the other way around and making her wait for you to come back like an abandoned dog !" He barked accusingly.

' He took advantage of you.

He took your kindness, Your devotion and paid you back half- assed.

And you still love him.

You still respect him.

You still waited for him.

- And you're problobly dreaming of him now. '

" Don't get me wrong... I get it. I get that your a weak man," he said with understanding, hazardously glaring straight towards Sam,

' I get it...

But the difference between you and me Bridges?

I held her.

I fucking comforted her, and I made her feel me there.

You?

You NEVER touched her.

You walked away.

You're a fucking coward.

You made her cry.

You broke her down, something I would never do...

And I’m the bad guy, right? '

"It's actually funny because even if you turn away, it still happens.

Even if you decide to cower your damn face away and not look at her cry those seemingly never-ending tears they still fall and I can taste them.

I can taste each and every drop, and let me tell you; there's so fucking delicious." he admitted,

' I adore every bit of her.'

" I'm just left wanting more." He added. "I won't lie to you Sam, Why should I?

We’re at the point we’ve become well acquainted with each other.

- I'm addicted to her, " he said with a passionate assurance,

" And I'm not ashamed to admit it," he said.

"So much that I just can't share her with you anymore. I can't keep letting you hurt her. And I sure as hell can't leave her out here to fend for herself. " He rambled on,

" So don't worry about it. I'll take good care of her.

So much so, that I'll make sure she doesn't feel lonely a single day of her life...

What's left of that at least." He finished off with a little hum.

"You're welcome by the way.

I say that because you should be happy to have her taken her off your hands. I mean; you don't have to worry about her anymore, because she's fine where she is.

So just focus all of yourself on Amelie alright?

Just give your all and make mommy proud, Bridges,” He suggested. “ Make America whole! " He said with widespread arms a loud roar of laughter escaping him, not disturbing the sleeping woman as she stayed stuck in her sleep. "While me and (f/n)?" He said while a little smile fixed itself onto his features as his entire face softened down,

" You'll see me again, but her..." He said whimsically, trailing off.

“Well...(f/n),”

He started while his hands slid beneath her body, holding her princess style, her head leaned just beneath his chin before he spun with her in his grasp,

"She's just where she needs to be."

Through the entirety of the message, the standing male's heart was tightened, jabbed until it was heavily bleeding.

And he had only one thing in mind:

" I have to find her,"

Next Part : What I Have To Do

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wintrsss · 1 year

Text

『S/O with High Level DOOMs』

Fandom: Death Stranding.

Characters: Sam, Higgs, Cliff.

Request: Can you maybe do Headcannons for a reader with high level DOOMS? Like sometimes just forgetting that (other then higgs) their S/O doesn't have DOOMS like they do? Not in like a dangerous situation but more like teleporting behind them and scaring them accidentally. How would they react and so on with things that just come with being a high level?

Genre: Fluff, Headcanon.

Warnings: None. Reader is gender neutral!

A/N: I'm sure you only wanted Sam and Higgs, but I included Cliff bc I love him <3 let's pretend he knows abt DOOMs

Requests open!

.ೃ࿐

Sam Porter Bridges

You'll scare the hell outta him if you teleport without letting him know about it, but with how reticent he is, you probably wouldn't notice

He only knows a handful of people who have DOOMs and only two can teleport, it's rare for him to see one who can. Can't blame him for getting a little alarmed

He is more than happy to pass you some spare cryptobiotes in the case you getting tired from teleporting. You clearly need them more than he does

He will get a little worried once you tell him you're at a high level, with all the repercussions it has, but other than that, he won't dwell on it too much

Sam isn't very good at dealing with emotional problems, but he is a good listener. If you need an ear to talk to about those nightmares, he'll stay quietly at your side. Sometimes he'll say some things that Amelie told him to make him feel better, hoping they'll help you too

He'd rather you not resort to any sort of violence unless it's self defense; there's no need for it. But hey, if you really wanna let off some steam, you should do it to the MULEs or something to clear the area for future porters. Do some good with it at least, right?

Higgs Monaghan

Half of him is excited to see you at a higher level like he is, the other half wants to show his superiority to you in every way

Sure, you can teleport like he can, but can you control BTs? Nuh uh, didn't think so

So yeah, with the many times he tries to brush aside your dooms abilities as less than par (compared to him), he's totally forgotten at least once

But after the first scare, you wont get him again! That's a promise!

With nightmares however, he may not understand your fear in them, seeing as he's already accepted mass extinction. He'll probably just tell you to go back to sleep without any thought

But if he sees you really shook from it, he'll at least try to comfort you, but it'll end up seeming really half-assed; he's just not used to cheering people up

Higgs isn't gonna be the one to dissuade you from any violent urges you may experience with DOOMs, in fact he's going to fuel the fire and encourage you to act upon these thoughts. Only thing he draws the line at is you hurting yourself

Cliff Unger

I would not advise trying to scare him with your teleporting because you WILL get put to the ground

He wasn't an army captain for no reason, his reflexes undoubtedly prove that

But with how tired you get from doing that, Cliff strongly advises you to not use it so often, especially if it's for your own pleasure of getting a reaction out of him

You having DOOMs fascinates him, he'd love to learn more if you're willing to tell him about it

He can empathize to an extent on the nightmares you receive from this condition, having had plenty of his own in the past, he'll do his best to try to comfort you during the bad ones, rubbing your back and whispering soft affirmations to you

He knows he doesn't have to, but he likes to wipe away your chiral tears

Cliff doesn't want you following the same path of destruction he's gone to, so he'll keep on eye out in any changes in your behavior so that he can help in any way he can

#death stranding #death stranding fanfic #death stranding x reader #cliff unger x reader #higgs monaghan x reader #sam porter bridges x reader #cliff unger #clifford unger #clifford unger x reader #death stranding headcanons #sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan

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lethalchiralium · 2 years

Text

Sing To Me | Higgs Monaghan [The Artist and the Destroyer]

a/n: hello! i’m active! and for artist and the destroyer??? incredible. gotta love it. can still be read by itself! no need to read any other parts (even though i’d love you for it) don’t love the shit that’s fucking with my life though so enjoy uwu

warnings: amelie strand. do i need to say more? cussing, fear, higgs? not really higgs.

summary: higgs can get bored sometimes, especially if he’s not feeling himself.

Higgs got bored.

He’d tell you all day and with every breath he took that he had so much fun when he was alone, but he always had you. Except for today, apparently you had gathered some shitty porter gear from your closet and had left your shelter. Of course he wanted to see what in God’s name you were doing and where you were going, but that’s too… clingy. He wasn’t clingy, he was the Particle of God, for fuck’s sake.

He hated the humanity you so violently stabbed into him when your furnace broke that one time. You were shivering so violently that night, even with him trapped beneath your sleeping form. Whatever he fucked with in that furnace worked, and he’s hated himself ever since. He convinced himself that he didn’t want to fuck with a voidout by his little play thing, but his play thing gave him something to do and when he wasn’t fucking with Sam, he was having fun with you.

Except for this moment, as he chucked the tennis ball at the wall repeatedly, a tune blended into his head. A song he played on his guitar back in his shelter, one he wrote as a lonely, pathetic porter. He almost hit his hand on the wall, trying to make the time fly by like when your pretty smile shines right at him.

“So this is how it ends,” he began to sing that damn tune, the song that seemed to infest his brain as he sat in your bunker for two hours. “Not with a whisper but a bang.” He wasn’t worried, he was far from worried. He was so calm that he could probably have a normal conversation without wanting to kill something out of anxiety. He couldn’t stop picturing you dead in some valley and he was too concerned with his pride to jump and check. He knew he didn’t have much pride when it came to you “Slammin' doors and broken picture frames, puffed-up pride and called-out names.”

You, on the other hand, trudged out of the snow towards your shelter. Old porter boots strapped tighter than they should’ve began to ache less and your pack with your easel and paints strapped to your back became lighter. The sensor poles activated, scanning your ID and quietly opening the door, seeing that you set it to since Higgs was passed out on the floor when you left to go paint one of the mountains nearby for fun. The door opened slowly and you shut it quietly, trying to leave Higgs be in case he needed the rest. But you heard music, like someone was singing.

“I ransom gold,” the voice sang loudly as you walked down the stairs, hearing something hit the wall with rhythm as well. “Peddle your wares on down the road, your manufactured love will stop the show,” A few more steps. “For all the fools just passin by, who have yet to get wise.”

Holy fucking shit, it was Higgs whatever-the-fuck-his-middle-name-is Monaghan. Throwing a tennis ball at the wall and fucking singing, and singing well. Higgs. The terrorist Higgs Monaghan was singing like he was an angel.

“I never meant to break your heart,” A loud yet strong belt came from him as the ball stayed in his hand, he spun around, kicking the ground with a look of boredom on his face as you hid against the wall the best you could. Holy. Fuck. “I only meant to speak the truth-”

“Welcome, Y/N.” Your shelter soon activated at the wrong damn time and you jumped down the remaining steps, scared out of your skin by not just the shelter, but the hell-summoning stare of one man.

“Higgs-” You started but he closed his eyes and bared his teeth, his hand up before his icy eyes met yours like they had become fire.

“You heard nothin’.” He said, finger pointed straight at you before he almost jumped, but your hand grabbed his hand before he could think about it.

“Don’t be scared of yourself.”

Higgs almost looked offended, but you continued. “You run away every time you show me who you really are, under that damn body armor and that stupid cloak.”

“‘Cause you don’t deserve it.” He answered sharply, his other hand dropped the tennis ball. “Let me go, Y/N.”

You yanked his hand forwards, pulling him with as your voice grew sharp and louder than before. “Don’t deserve it? I show you, a fucking terrorist, every damn side of me like it a fucking game. I don’t show fucking anyone anything of me- I mean for fuck’s sake-” Your pther hand pulled off his glove, causing Higgs to almost snarl but he was still docile. He was interested in what you were doing - but a part of him needed to hear what you were gonna say. “You’re comfortable with me doing that. You have fixed my furnace, helped me through a rough week and you smile whenever you see my art. I show you my vulnerability and I get to see glimpses of a man I want to know.”

“You know me.”

“You’re fucking stupid.” You shouted back, throwing the glove in his face before letting go, knowing the fight is an uphill battle where he will always win. You turned around and shove off your pack, angered as you unzipped your suit and walked down the hall. “You’re so fucking stupid, Higgs.”

He turned towards the hall, hand slipping back on his glove as his voice raised, “How the fuck am I stupid if I didn’t want you to hear my stupid fucking song?” He took a step forwards, pointing his finger again. “That was private!”

“Maybe I want to hear you sing, Higgs, ‘cause I liked your voice and I don’t think you’re weak.”

Fire began to spread under his skin, from astonishment and anger. You should have never heard that leave his lips, ever. “Says the damn coward.”

The pause you took was threatening in nature, eyes pointed straight towards him with an emotion he has never seen in a person before. Porter suit tied around your waist and pack no long strapped to you, you moved into your doorway to look at the man.

“You really wanna talk about cowardice?” It was practically a bark that came from your throat, hands on the doorway to ground you. “Where to begin? Oh, with your precious little Sam Bridges.”

“Y/N-“

“You love to poke fun at the poor guy, you have to power to fucking gut him like he’s a fucking fish yet you don’t make an effort to! You are so much stronger than him, he’s one fucking man. You are too much of a coward to use your powers and be the big bad wolf you make yourself out to me- I mean, you’ve fucking hurt me more than you ever have Sam!”

“That’s a fucking lie!” He spat, “I haven’t hurt a damn hair on your fucking head!”

“And what about me, huh?” You hit the doorframe with your left hand. “Your little façade of being God and not having one connection to keep him down.” A step into the hallway. “Then what am I, ‘cause I’m surely not your friend, I’m not your lover, I could never love someone like you, you fucking ignorant, self-centered fucking coward.”

Higgs could only grip his hand into a fist, his tar-coated heart cracked as you snapped, “Get the fuck out of my house:”

Stings scratched his skin as black tar bubbled beneath your feet, hands grabbed your ankles and you hid your fear, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. Arms reached up farther and grabbed your knees, pushing you onto them as more acidic hands grabbed your wrists, You only made a grunt and your breathing slightly intensified.

Boots hit the cement and Higgs squatted down, the small little click that left his lips made your stomach curl. Higgs knew you were upset with him, your words didn’t hurt him, but it’s so easy for him to fall into place; into his place. His ungloved hand moved your chin up to look at him, his other hand clutched his missing glove. His eyes didn’t spare any expense at looking at every section of your face, remembering it for when it gets late at night and he thinks of just summoning a BT to swallow him whole. And the eyes that he dreams of stared at him with fear, something small in him hated it but he kept going. Moving your head to look at your neck and how nicely that tank top settled right underneath your collarbone. He was observing how quickly you submitted, just like every other pawn under his calloused thumb.

“Higgs.” You whispered, his fingers dig into your jaw and a sharp grunt left your throat. “I’m sorry.”

He let out a couple chuckles, sighing after, “I needed no apology, darlin’. None of your little monologue nicked me where it hurt.” His hand slid from your jaw to your neck, lightly gripping it and danger really set into your skin. “Except for two things that aren’t quite right.”

The extra glove was thrown behind him and his gloved hand set on the crown of your head. Head completely tilted towards him, you had no option but to listen as the slimy hands still held you tight, some grabbed at your stomach and thighs, nothing out of bounds, thank God.

“It’s a game of cat and mouse, where I completely have control of the game. I like my food to have a little muscle, and exercise is the best way to do it,” he smiled. “it’s entertaining to watch some puny fuck run around like a damn chicken with his head cut off. As for you, my darlin’,” he took a deep breath as he sort of leaned back, releasing your hair and tightening the grip on your neck threateningly.

Eye contact was made and his white teeth were displayed again as he practically purred, “You’re in love with me.”

Everything in you stopped working.

“Those stares that last a little too long, almost being shy in front of me like you didn’t think about me losing my clothes and worshipping you like everyone does to me.” A chuckle made its way into his throat as he continued, “And trust me, it’s hard to breathe around beauty like you but feelins ain’t meant for me.

“You’re one of many playthings, Y/N. You’re just one of my favorites that I decided not to use like the others,” he pushed you upwards by your throat and you barely even noticed the BTs had let you go a long time ago. “you’re special, ‘cause you got feelin’s for me.” He only held you by your neck now, pain began to surge through your body and hands tried to grab his arm. He didn’t even budge.

“Here’s the thing,” he sighed, “now you’ve forced my hand to not only hurt you, but to make you scared of me. I don’t want you scared of me, I like my lovers calm and not fidgety, they get too much and they end up dead in a lake out by Middle Knot. So you’re gonna have to pretend that I never did this to you,” he dropped you to the floor, coughs erupted from your throat as he also fell to your height again, his golden mask in hand. “And your little fantasies can come true,” he stood up as you were paralyzed, staring at him as he tapped the chiralium mask. “and Y/N, my darling?”

You didn’t respond.

He smiled. Submission and fear is what fueled him, but there was that part of him that was enraged with himself. He pressed on as he made eye contact again. “Any bullet you fire at me will go right through you, that’s why you’re on the fucking floor and I am about to order pizza.”

“Higgs,” a whisper escaped your lips.

“You’ll wake up soon,” He added, a snap and his hood appeared on his head, his ice eyes looked away. “I’ll see you soon, I- Fuck..”

Particles clashed together in a flash and he was gone, your vision went black.

•-•-•

When you woke up, it was like life had been sucked out of you. You stumbled to your shower, turned the water to hot and sat in your pajamas. You could still feel his hand around your throat and the tar-coated hands as they touched every inch of your body. Crawling, grabbing, the electricity that sparked through his fingers stayed on your skin like promises, ready to be broken by the right person.

The crying started by the time the water ran cold but you didn’t dare more, you were safe. Hands on your head and body as curled as it could be, you were there for a long time.

You wished it was timefall and that you had already rotted away.

It was a couple hours before the system had shut itself off to conserve water and the AI alerted you to a low water warning, that the water had to be sanitized for reuse, you weren’t worried.

You got up, ripped off your clothes and into nothing, grabbing a new set of clothes when you walked into your room. A comfortable pair of sweatpants and the only sweatshirt you owned - one Higgs gave you. You were hesitant but you wanted it. It was a comfort item. Socks and then your a random book you plucked from your nightstand.

You sat down in the corner of your living room, the book beside you as you held yourself in that sweatshirt, trying to erase that dream from your head.

You needed to erase it because you loved him.

•-•-•

Higgs hated this. Amelie paced back and forth with her hands fidgeting.

“You need to scare him more.” She said, Higgs had heard it a million ties before. “Something big, something huge; like that chiral storm by South Knot.” She stopped and curled her fingers into a fist. “A catcher could work, he’s making his way to Mountain Knot.”

“I could take out that Western Middle Knot distro.” He answered and she gave him a look of disgust.

“The Distribution Center North of Mountain Knot City.” She snapped her fingers and Higgs waltzed around her. “A simple attack could work. Overpower the fuel cells with a package and a BRIDGES worker could die and cause a distro shutdown.”

“It’s not hard, princess.” He stated and looked at the non-existent watch on his wrist. “I’ve got to go do that.”

Amelie chuckled as she turned away. “I know you will. But at least say hello to your prepper friend for me.”

Fuck. “What friend, Amelie?” He harshly growled. “Ain’t got friends anymore ‘cause of you.”

“Y/N was your ex, right?” She said, and Higgs grimaced underneath his mask.

“That prepper is a plaything,” He answered. “Something your puppy can chew on when you’re busy.”

“Y/N is your ex, right Higgs?” She asked again, harsher.

He nodded. Y/N knew him before as Pete Englert, not as his true name since he was never fond of it until Amelie spoke about it with kindness. It was a fling, a few week fling. Two porters who walked the same path and a few words sparked something spectacular. They were the first cut to tie before Middle Knot’s flames roared. But now? He wasn’t sure.

She grimaced. “Are you attached?”

“Amelie, I’d love for you to tell me where something fucking interestin’ happens when I have to wait to fuck with Sam,” Higgs answered sharply and he backed away from her with his hands up. “The damn cells are all about bein’ ready for war and all I want is something to entertain me. Isn’t that was Sam does for you?” He pivoted on his foot, the sand crunched beneath his boots and the woman gave him a dirty look. “So why are you on me for this?”

“Because you have been known for being unpredictable.”

“Okay,” Higgs barked and rested his hands on his hips. “Unpredictable? Just because I tried to re-nuke without fucking talking about every detail with you isn’t a good reason.”

The blonde woman rolled her eyes. “As a punishment for that, I talked with your little prepper friend.”

Gravity in his chest became sudden and his stomach fell to the floor but he didn’t miss a beat. “You what?”

“As you, of course.” She fluttered her fingers as she jumped to beside him, grabbing his shoulder and all he could do was stand there. She had way more power than he could ever dream of. “Traumatized them with you using your powers on them, things you’d say,” She smiled and Higgs had to close his eyes before he punched her. ”and the poor thing is sitting in the shower, wondering why you turned on them so quickly. They were comfortable with you, Higgs, and that is something I don’t like.”

“Hypocrite.” He snapped and Amelie was unfazed.

“You can keep your little prepper, but under no condition can you be friends.”

“Fuck off.”

That was the moment when he was sucked back under into the Seam, floating underwater before his eyes opened and he was sitting in front of the Artist’s shelter.

“That fucking bitch.” Higgs muttered and he stepped into the sensor ring, the sound never failed to give him an house of comfort. He walked under the shelter entrance, the terminal raised from the floor and something in him made him pause.

Did she make you scared? Did she make you scared of him?

Higgs knew he wouldn’t be able to handle this without you, and Amelie ruining that made him both furious and terrified. He wanted to ask to come into your shelter this time, so he could know if what she told him was true. She did love to taunt and lie to him.

He jumped anyway into your living room, hearing no movement and no other sounds other than his own breathing. His hands grabbed his mask and hood, pulling them off and placing them on your kitchen counter. He then began to unlace his boots, something he never does when he’s here, and then placed them next to the door. He peeled off his cloak and his harnesses, setting them on the floor and adding his body armor to the pile, leaving him in his black long sleeve undershirt, his tactical pants, and his socks. He was trying to be as docile-looking to try and not scare you.

God, if Amelie made you scared him, he was going to fuck up everything she ever loved.

His eyes looked through the living room, seeing a towel on the couch but nothing else out of place. He glanced into the kitchen, nothing moved. He looked down the hall to see your bedroom door closed, he quietly and quickly walked towards it.

He opened the door and the relief he felt when he saw your body underneath the blankets but it quickly drained when you sat up and scrambled backwards on your bed.

“Y/N, it’s just me,” Higgs spoke quietly. He took a step into the room and your hand flew out.

“Do not.” Your voice was hoarse, he put his hands up. “Don’t come near me.”

“What did I do?” He spoke genuinely and your eyes closed, screwed shut. “Please.”

“You know what you did!” You answered with a shout. “You violated every boundary I set with you and you deliberately fucked with me to make me scared of you.” And there wasn’t a beat missed after you took a shaky breath. “I don’t wanna be scared of you.”

Tears fell instantly after and Higgs almost bolted towards you but his mind was a little faster.

“It was Amelie. Your dream was Amelie, I’m so sorry,” He answered, another step forward. “She told me but I didn’t know she…”

“I need you.”

Amelie’s words couldn’t break the attachment he had to you since he’s never run this fast in his life. He set his knees beside your thighs and his hands sat on your cheeks as your hands tangled in his dark hair. His eyes couldn’t stop looking into yours, praying to see the fear fade away but it didn’t.

“Baby,” He whispered. “I’d never hurt you.”

“Please never do.” You answered and he pulled you to his chest, sobs left your body like unanswered prayers. “I can’t lose you.”

“I can’t lose you either.” He met your statement with truth. “Everything will be okay, I promise it’ll be okay.”

You never answered after that, sobs leaving your throat faster. Hands gripped his shirt and his own held your head, burying his face into your hair. There was nothing he could say to stop your tears because your fight was internal, and he was about to make his own external.

———

#death stranding #higgs monaghan #troy baker #sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan x neutral!reader #the artist and the destroyer series #lethalchiralium #lethal chiralium #higgs #still hate amelie lol #ds amelie #amelie could sneeze and i would burn her like a witch #artist prepper #higgs death stranding

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bridgesfalldown · 4 years

Text

Y'all, should I make a Sub!Bottom!Omega!Higgs and Sam discord?

Update: already did. Invite on my blog

#death stranding #male!reader x higgs #higgs monaghan #sam porter bridges #sam bridges

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elliebean714 · 2 years

Text

☆What I write☆~

I write character x character, character x oc and character x reader.

♡Romantic♡, ◇Platonic◇, whatever.

Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Yandere, Poly Relationships, Character Reactions, Character Diary Entries, Light Nsfw, My Oc's, Female, Gender Neutral And Male Readers/Characters/Oc's

♡Gay♡ and ☆Not Gay☆

Headcanons, fics, one-shots, maybe Au's....

Fandoms I write for. (It's all games. I'm not sorry.)

Until Dawn~

Josh Washington

Chris Hartley

Ashley Brown

Sam Giddings

Mike Munroe

Jess Riley

Emily Davis

Matt Taylor

Beth Washington

Hannah Washington

The Quarry~

Jacob Custos

Emma Mountebank

Nick Furcillo

Abigail Blyg

Max Brinly

Laura Kearney

Kaitlyn Ka

Dylan Lenivy

Ryan Erzhalher

Travis Hackett

Chris Hackett

Bobby Hackett

Life is Strange~

Season 1~

Max Caulfield

Chloe Price

Warren Graham

Nathan Prescott

Victoria Chase

Kate Marsh

Mark Jefferson

Before The Storm~

Chloe Price

Rachel Amber

Steph Gingrich

Nathan Prescott

Samantha Myers

Season 2~

Sean Diaz

Daniel Diaz

Cassidy

Finn

True colours~

Alex Chen

Steph Gingrich

Ryan Lucan

Gabe Chen

Charlotte Harmon

Jason Pike

Five Nights at Freddy's~

FNaF 1 ~

Bonnie

Freddy

Chica

Foxy

Golden Freddy

FNaF 2~

Toy Bonnie

Toy Freddy

Toy Chica

Marionette

Mangle

Withered Bonnie

Withered Freddy

Withered Chica

Withered Foxy

FNaF 3~

Springtrap

FNaF Sister Location~

Circus Baby

Ballora

Funtime Freddy/Bon Bon

Funtime Foxy

Ennerd

Lolbit

FNaF Pizzeria Simulator~

Lefty

FNaF Security Breach~

Gregory

Glamrock Freddy

Montgomery Gator

Glamrock Chica

Roxanne Wolf

Sundrop

Moondrop

Vanny

Vannessa

Misc.~

William Afton

Michael Afton

Henry Emily

Note~ Unless specifically requested otherwise all animatronics will not have the children's souls inside them, if you want the soul inside the animatronic it will automatically be platonic (Springtrap is the exception)♡

Bioshock~

Bioshock 1~

Jack Wynand

Atlas

Frank Fontaine

Bridget Tenenbaum

The Little Sisters

The Big Daddies

Bioshock 2~

Subject Delta

Augustus Sinclair

Eleanor Lamb

Sophia Lamb

Grace Holloway

Stanley Poole

Gil Alexander

Mark Meltzer

The Big Sisters

Bioshock Infinite~

Elizabeth Comstalk

Booker DeWitt

Songbird

The Walking Dead: Telltale~

Season 1~

Lee Everett

Clementine

Kenny

Lily

Carley

Doug

Mark

Ben Paul

Christa

Omid

Season 2~

Clementine

Luke

Nick

Sarah

Kenny

Season 3~

Javi Garcia

Kate Garcia

Gabe Garcia

Clementine

Tripp

Jesus

Season 4~

Clementine

Violet

Louis

Mitch

Tenn

James

Lily

Minerva

Detroit: Become Human~

Connor

Hank

Kara

Alice

Luther

Ralph

Marcus

North

Simon

Josh

The Last Of Us~

Part 1~

Ellie

Joel

Tommy

Henry

Sam

Marlene

Riley

Part 2~

Ellie

Joel

Dina

Jesse

Tommy

Abby

Owen

Lev

Yara

Uncharted~

Drake's Fortune~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Among Thieves~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Chloe Frazer

Harry Flynn

Drake's Deception~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Chloe Frazer

Talbot

A Thieves End~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Sam Drake

Rafe Adler

Nadine Ross

Death Stranding~

Sam Porter Bridges

Higgs Monaghan

Fragile

Amelie Strand

Dr Heartman

Mama

Lockne

Deadman

Die-Hardman

Clifford Unger

Doki Doki Literature Club~

Monika

Sayori

Yuri

Natsuki

Obey Me!~

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

Barbatos

Luke

Simeon

Solomon

Thirteen

☆Overall Note☆~ All Under 18 Characters Will Be Platonic, Unless Shipped With A Character/Oc Of The Same Age.♡

♡Protect the Children♡

◇What I won't write◇~

Heavy Nsfw

Non-Con/ Dub-Con

Pedophilia

Insest

Self Harm

Suicide

Big Age-Gap Relationships

Other people's oc's

Cheating (Except Comfort)

Send Requests, I'm Depressed💐

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thepaperpanda · 3 years

Text

DEATH STRANDING CHRISTMAS

Summary: It's Christmas time and love is in the air. What will happen when everyone will be reunited that day?

Warnings: None

Words: 6637

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your holiday can hold!

Allured by the peace and quietness and the scent of freshly baked Christmas cake coming from a canteen, you took your lingering gaze off of the enormous Christmas tree adorned with glistening ornaments and glowing fairy lights draped around it that stood in the middle of the huge chamber that was usually serving as a dayroom.

As the evening sky faded away, the pink and orange hues were replaced with dark shades of blue.

The festively designed decorations, illuminated with blinking Christmas lights, vibrant ornaments and brightly colored signs, were lined up along either side of the corridor.

As you entered the canteen, the loud, spirited laughter of people could be heard over the continuous chatter surrounding the vivacious atmosphere; it brought a wide smile to your lips.

It's been a great time without Christmas, and you truly couldn't understand how it was possible that no one has ever tried to bring the magnificent spirit of Christmas back.

This year it'll be different, you told yourself half a month prior when you visited Die-Hardman with a plan for Christmas arrangements.

In the canteen you made sure that everything was going well.

There it was, as clear as the sky on a scorching summer day, that particular aroma, that perfect blend of spicy and sweet - gingerbreads were baked.

Die-Hardman stepped into the canteen as well, he wore his best suit and tie; he looked as festive as if this were a normal family reunion. "Y/N," he nodded at you a little. "As I can see, everything's in place, my sincere congratulations, the truth is I didn't think you'll be able to set all this."

With a grin playing in the corners of your lips you gave the bid back. "Yes, sir, apparently I made everything, with the little help of Sam who, just between us, wasn't a fan of the idea though."

"Little help? I had to bring the whole tree in, you think it was easy?," Sam walked in looking up at the Christmas tree, while holding his BB pod. "Not to mention I had to run to get all of the trinkets you placed on that poor tree. What is it for anyway?"

"Y/N found old records about Christmas. She decided to organize some on her own, for us all," Dead man explained. "I think she did it nicely. Like in some old photos."

"Yeah, sure." Sam muttered. "At least it looks like Lou likes it."

"Of course I did nicely! I did my best!," You claimed happily and Die-Hardman chuckled deeply.

"So... You did all of that for five of us? Kinda excessive if you ask me," Sam said and walked closer to the tree to show colorful light to Lou.

"Not only for five, there will be more. That's what Y/N promised, isn't it Y/N?," Deadman said looking at you.

You nodded and walked to him. He wore a sweatshirt with reindeer dressed in a Christmas hat. "Correct. Also let me tell ya that I love your sweatshirt!"

Die-Hardman led everyone closer to the Christmas tree. "Okay, I hope that rest will join us…” His sentence was cut off by Cliff who appeared out of nowhere.

He was having a red hat with pompom and was dressed like Santa Claus. "Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas everyone! Hope I didn't get late! My men, it took them too much time to get dressed properly!," He chuckled and few of his comrades appeared right behind him. This time they weren't having rifles with them but a lot of bags with presents wrapped in colorful paper.

Sam blinked a few times, he turned to you. "How... How did you do that?," He asked quietly.

"We are here finally!," Mama said happily as she and Lockne joined the party. Both sisters dressed in colors perfect for christmas. "Mama couldn't find her glasses," Lockne added.

You hugged them both. "It's so good to see you again!," You claimed and clapped your hands.

Soon, there was a cracking sound and Amelie joined you. As always she wore a red, fitted dress and she was holding a few packages in her hands. She put them under the Christmas tree and gave a smile to Sam. "Merry Christmas, Sam. Merry Christmas to everyone!"

Sam gave a flat smile and nodded. "Merry Christmas, Amelie," he said, turning Lou to all the guests. "Look how many people are here."

Another cracking sound filled the room and Fragile showed up. "Merry Christmas to everyone?"

"It looks like your plan worked out perfectly, Y/N. How did you do that?," Deadman asked. "It's a lot of people in one place."

"I messaged everyone, and if it comes to Amelie, let's just skip this though," you chuckled. "I asked them to come, and I told them that we can't simply give upon our traditions just because Death Stranding is on. They agreed," you replied.

After a few minutes the door to the dayroom slid open and Heartman entered with dancing moves. "Hey, guys! Oh, Mama! Good to see you! Magnificent! Wow! You also have a Christmas tree! And decorations! Hmm, am I correct?! Is this true?! Do I sense gingerbreads?!," He almost sang.

"Someone had too much Christmas, maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull him out of the lab... His heart... Ya know the deal, right?," Sam asked you quietly with a frown.

"Sam grumpy as ever," Fragile said, walking up to the two of you. "This was an amazing idea Y/N. Oh! Sam I have gift for little one."

Sam raised his eyebrow and handed the pod to Fragile. "Hi there, Lou. Merry Christmas," she said before pulling out a little sweater and putting it around the pod. "Oh! Look at this!"

"Lou looks like a little candy! How cute is that!," You clapped hands and walked to Heartman to place a brief kiss to his cheek as a greeting. "Hey there handsome, I'm so glad you've accepted my invitation."

"How could I not?," he chuckled. "For this special occasion I turned the AED off."

"Let's just hope he won't suddenly drop dead during the supper... Or whatever Y/N prepared," Sam said and looked at the pod in Fragile hands.

She only giggled and raised the pod. "Cliff! What do you think? It's cute, right?"

Both Mama and Lockne let out a loud aww sound at the sight of BB wearing the sweater.

"So Y/N. You are the head of this whole thing. What should we do now, the truth is not everyone knows what to do during Christmas," Deadman said, looking around.

Cliff approached Fragile who held Lou and tapped the glass with his finger. "Hey, BB, you're the cutest BB of all time!"

"Okay, guys!," You whistled loudly to get their attention. "First, I want to say something," you announced happily. "I'm so glad to see you all here, in this place. It has a very symbolic meaning to me, we're one, just like our beautiful country will be when Sam will finish connecting all cities to the chiral network," you smiled at them, tugging on the dress you wore. "It means a lot as we all are one. We are one in our mutual experiences, in our closeness and understanding..."

You slipped your glance along everyone in the room. "Merry Christmas! You can have a snack, they're on the table," you nodded in the direction of the table where a lot of dishes were awaiting to be consumed, including huge roasted turkey. "Later, after dinner, we will have a very important encounter with Santa Claus!," You winked at Cliff who nodded slightly.

A loud cracking sound filled the room. "HELLO THERE BRIDGES! Merry fucking Christmas, guys!," Higgs yelled loudly, not bothered by all the looks he got. "Why do you look at me like that? Oh yes, yes, I know. I should bring a gift but I didn't have enough parts to build another nuke," he rolled his eyes, waving his hand around.

You shook your head as Heartman instinctively shielded you with his body. "Who is he?," You asked with curiosity in your tone.

"That's Higgs. The man who blew a few cities out of America's map," Heartman informed you quietly.

Amelie put hands to her hips. "I wasn't aware you're going to be here as well, Higgs," she almost snorted.

Die-Hardman gave the newcomer a mean glance. "Seriously? Even on such a day you need to destroy everything?"

Meantime, your glance was still on the man in the hood.

"Wooooooow, I feel so welcomed here," Higgs said, removing his hood off his head. "I destroy stuff, it's just my thing but I see something else I can destroy."

Higgs suddenly vanished and then appeared right behind you.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here? Thanks, heartboy," he said picking you up to take a look at you. "Ain't ya a beauty that is worth to be taken under the mistletoe?"

Sam facepalmed. "There is no day with break."

You blinked but being taken completely aback by stranger's action, you had to wrap arms around his neck to support yourself. "Uhm, hi there, sir. Can you consider putting me down though? I feel pretty intimidated," you whispered, your eyes fixed on his, and dear Beach, his eyes were so magnetising!

Amelie sighed. "It's Christmas after all, guys. I think we should let him stay. In such a time no one should be alone."

Die-Hardman agreed with the lady in red. "Amelie's right."

Sam blinked. "Seriously? He nuked two cities and planned to nuke the third one. “You can't be serious!"

Higgs giggled, patting your hips. "Being intimidating is my second name, sugar," he pretended to think about your request. "Well I don't know. I love little sweet girls like you, maybe I will take you as my gift."

"To be fair, director, Higgs is a highly dangerous man. He proved this many times," Deadman added.

"I like this guy. He makes me blush," Higgs said and then looked at you. "I think I may have a gift for you, sugar,” he added before giving you a golden mask.

You took it in hand and fitted it to your face. "Gangsta!," You chuckled and ran to the nearest mirror to have a look. "Ha! This is so cool!"

You waited for him to approach you. "My name's Y/N. And you're Higgs, that's what Heartman told me."

Heartman looked after you and blinked. "She's impossible. Jumping like a puppy but this is what happens when a young girl is alone for too long, am I right, Mama?"

Amelie walked to Deadman and put hand on his shoulder. "Trust me. I know what he did but maybe by showing him kindness we'll get more than by following his game."

Die-Hardman cleared his throat. "Okay. Let's take the seats and have a meal. This is a special day, everyone deserves kindness, just like Amelie said."

Cliff took BB from Sam and set it on the chair right next to him. "Can someone pass me the knife? I forgot my army knife and someone has to cut the turkey!"

BB rolled in the pod and giggled waving at Sam.

Mama and her sister frowned looking at Heartman.

"What was that supposed to mean?," Mama asked, offended.

"Yes, what was that supposed to mean?," Lockne repeated after her sister.

Deadman nodded at Amelie's comment. "Maybe you are right."

"Oh! I have a knife, army-man!," Higgs said loudly, presenting his own knife. "I never leave it. Maybe you should learn this too," he chuckled before being pulled away by Fragile.

"You better behave if you want to stay here. Be normal for one single day," she growled and Higgs nodded. "Okay! Okay! Noted! I wouldn't dear to fuck up Y/N's day. I bet she worked her ass off for all of this."

You took your seat at the table, right between Sam and Fragile.

Cliff took the golden knife from Higgs' hands, offering the tall man a suspicious glance. "I hope you're not the guy who's bothering my son and Lou. Otherwise, I'd have to kill you," he informed with a cold grimace in his face which quickly vanished and was replaced by a grin. "Okay! Who wants the chicken?! Hey!," He got up and glanced at his comrades who were trying to sneak to the tree and gifts located under. "Behave! Get back to the table! No turkey, no presents! For fuck's sake, I asked you all to behave! How many times did we train the entire thing?!"

One of the army men quickly got back to the table. "Uhm, few," he admitted and took the helmet off, placing it on the polished floor.

"And what did I say?," Cliff asked while cutting the turkey.

"We get in, we greet living beings, we have a meal, we behave, we get presents and we have a party."

Heartman laughed loudly. "Cliff, I have to say you're having a huge authority among them. What a situation!"

Amelie offered everyone a grin. "Does anyone want some potatoes?"

Higgs sat right next to Sam and gave Cliff an innocent smile.

"Oh no, Mr Sam's dad. I am a good boy, my twin brother bothers Sam. Besides, Sam bothers me too! He keeps destroying my plans! And BTs!," He whimpered dramatically.

Sam only rolled his eyes and moved a little closer to you to get away from the terrorist.

"I’ve seen them before yet they still freak the fuck out of me," he whispered to you, looking at the soldiers.

"I can say the same…," Fragile said quietly

"I am so surprised they are so…," Mama said, thinking about the right word.

"Obedient," Lockne added quickly. “We expected them to be... How to name it?"

"Creatures of chaos," Mama finished.

You smiled at Sam and quickly turned head to face Lockne and Mama. "It's called discipline, right, Mr Unger?"

Cliff offered you a bright grin. "The girl's smart. I like her. If my son wouldn't have this phobia of his, I bet he would take a chance on you."

BB rolled in the pod.

Amelie chuckled and covered her lips with a curled hand. "Actually, Cliff, Sam would be her father if he made an effort..."

Heartman laughed loudly before he stopped his outburst, he also raised his thumb up. "And 20 likes go to Lady Strand! What a beautiful, honest summary!"

Higgs laughed and patted Sam's back. "Well! Ya know guys, some men like younger girls. Honestly I would love to get Y/N in my hands. To pin her down and just…," Higgs didn't finish his sentence because he got smacked on the back of the head by Fragile.

"Behave," she growled after getting back in her seat.

"To be fair, since we got on that topic. I don't think the age difference should be a taboo any longer," Deadman said before digging into his meal. "World is shattered, we should do what we can to make sure humanity doesn't die. Of course while keeping some moral boundaries."

"Do we really have to talk about such stuff now?," Sam groaned, rolling his eyes. "I don't like this topic."

"Oh, why? Because you can't get laid, Sammy boy?," Higgs almost sang, teasing Sam.

Cliff rose from his seat and threw a glance to Higgs who quickly shut his mouth. "That's way better," Cliff said and pretended that he rose only to get the corn salad.

Die-Hardman took his mask off and started eating the turkey that Cliff handled to him. "I need to agree with Deadman. Humanity is on the edge of destruction and extinction..."

"... Thanks to terrorists like Higgs," Heartman added, his eyes fixed on the uninvited guest.

"That's not what I meant... However you're not wrong on this," Die-Hardman agreed. "What I meant is that we should take care of reproduction, to make sure that the human race will survive and will be able to rebuild our world. To make it great again."

You blushed hearing Higgs' words about him liking younger girls, so to hide it you grabbed the glass and drank the wine that was poured by Mama.

Amelie nodded as she was cutting her piece of turkey into little slices. "We all are sober yet the topics are getting interesting already. I'm curious what will be next."

BB swam a little and moved closer to Sam.

"Oh, BB, granddaddy is here too, look, look," Clifford waved hand to get Lou's attention and then he put the Santa Claus hat on, playing with the pompon. "Look, little one! Granddad is Santa Claus!"

"To be fair, Y/N and Sam would look cute together. Imagine the cute kids they would have!" Mama said excited and Lockne nodded eagerly. "I want to be an aunt!"

Fragile noticed your red face and smiled gently rubbing your shoulder. "It's okay Y/N. Family is like this. They will talk and then they will stop."

Higgs frowned looking at Heartman. "Hey! Heart boy! I don't see the world getting better thanks to science boys like you," he growled resting his elbow on Sam's shoulder.

Sam quickly pushed it off his shoulder with an annoyed sound.

Higgs rolled his eyes before digging into his food. "Oh, fucking shit! This shit is good! Fucking better than a pizza! Oh! By the way, Sam! Lately you started to bring it cold. I don't like it."

Sam let out a loud sigh. "Then start to move your ass. You can jump and grab it yourself."

"Naaah! Making you visit me is more fun!," Higgs giggled.

You were covered in a blush after Mama and Lockne's words. You tugged on Sam's sleeve. "I swear, this is my first and last Christmas Eve ever."

You also giggled hearing complaints made by Higgs.

Heartman got up to get another piece of mashed potatoes. "To your information, Higgs, we build, not destroy, and that's the difference you'll never understand, you little devil's spawn."

Clifford clapped his hands. "Come on, guys, eat, eat or we won't get to presents this year!"

Die-Hardman smiled at his friend. "It's good to see you among us, Clifford."

Unger grinned and turned head to you. "Hey, Y/N, what drinks do we have except wine? I don't say it's bad but as for a real man, like me or my son, we could have something stronger. Cognac or whiskey."

Heartman chuckled. "You can always get Monster with vodka. Pretty dangerous mix but tasty. Tried a few times."

Sam chuckled at your comment. "At least next year I will have less work to do," he joked.

"Now I know why your heart is so fucked up. Since you drink such a mixes," Higgs commented before licking his plate completely clean. "I ask for more!"

Lockne, Mama and Fragile followed Cliff's order and started to eat as well.

"Well... For me some beer is enough," Sam said checking on Lou.

"I'll go get the drinks," you offered and politely excused yourself before getting off the table.

Heartman quickly got up too. "I'll help Y/N."

Amelie offered mashed potatoes to Higgs. "You're pretty hungry, aren't you?"

"Hell fucking yeah I am! Sitting in the bunker or camp and eating cold pizza ain't easy, sweetheart," Highs nodded and started to eat as soon as he got more food on his plate.

"Such a diet isn't good. You should eat more healthy stuff," Deadman said.

Higgs only shrugged, being too busy with his food.

Fragile sighed and shook her head. "No manners. You should spend some time with Clif to learn something, Higgs."

"Oh, I'd gladly train you, young man," Clifford said. "With me above you, you'd be running smoothly."

"I'm sorry, I know that thing I'll say is totally wrong but I imagined some other things, Clifford. With Monaghan beneath... Oh, dear God, forgive me for I have sinned," Heartman added before he left the room with you.

Die-Hardman spat himself with the wine he was drinking.

BB started chuckling.

Amelie blinked and facepalmed. "Maybe extinction is not a bad idea?"

Meantime, you and Heartman were in the pantry, collecting bottles of alcohol and cans of Monster and beer.

"I think that this little party is great, Y/N," Heartman stated. "Thank you for this opportunity of having some substitute for normal life, it's been a while since I felt truly happy," his voice broke a little, so you put the bottle of Jack Daniels and simply gave him a bear hug.

Sam choked on his food.

Mama and Lockne laughed loudly. "Not to offend anyone, that would be something nice to watch," Lockne said with a giggle.

Higgs hummed. "Sorry, ladies! I am more of a top but if any of you are interested, I am single as a pringle and ready to mingle. Just I am not into man, sorry, Mr Sam's papa."

Sam blinked, taking in what just happened and after a moment he groaned. It was a bit too much for him.

Soon, you and Heartman returned. You walked to Cliff and handed him a bottle of whiskey.

Heartman poured some vodka to everyone who wanted and handled Sam a can of beer.

"So, Y/N, are you enjoying the fest you threw?," Amelie asked with her soft glance on you.

"Yes, I do, even if I cringe from time to time, I think it's cute to have you all in one place."

You then turned to Fragile. "Hey, do you know something more about that Higgs guy who got here on blackballed? I need to think about something for him. I prepared gifts for everyone but him. I didn't expect anyone else to join," you whispered leaning to the woman.

Die-Hardman looked at Mama. "How is your research? Did you fix Sam's qupid?"

Mama nodded. "We did actually. Everything should be more than good once he is out again."

"It wasn't a hard fix. Just a few updates and it's working perfectly again," Lockne said before taking a sip of her wine.

"Uuuu! Smart ladies! I like it!," Higgs nudged Sam with elbow. "I need to get to know them. Twins are like two in one deal!"

"I am not doing that," Sam muttered with a frown.

Fragile looked at you. "Oh trust me, I know him a bit too much. He shouldn't get a gift for being a bad person," Fragile stated quietly.

"Yeah, I understand, but it will be in a bad tone to not gift one person... Ok, I'll think of something."

An hour passed on many talks, the atmosphere was filled with laughter.

"Dears, did anyone see Cliff?," Die-Hardman asked as he spotted his friend was missing.

You also vanished from the room.

BB was already sleeping and Amelie was sitting with Heartman, chatting like there was no tomorrow.

"I think Y/N took him to the other room," Sam said, looking at sleeping Lou.

"Maybe she decided to extend the human kind with him!," Higgs said quickly. "Since his son didn't want her, daddy decided to try it. I can't blame her," he shrugged.

"Just shut your mouth, Higgs," Sam growled.

Higgs giggled and continued to drink his beer.

"Hey, wait a minute, Lockne and Mama are gone, too," Heartman said as he was pulled from deep conversation with Amelie.

"Foursome?," Higgs purred while Sam facepalmed together with Fragile.

"Y/N probably planned something special. She prepared Christmas in smaller details," Deadman nodded his head a little. "The food was great."

"That's true!," Sam added.

Suddenly, the music came out of speakers.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

"HO-HO-HO!," The main door slid open and Clifford dressed as Santa Claus entered the room. He was having a huge bag thrown over his shoulder, his hat with pompom was tilted slightly.

His four comrades were having reindeer hats on.

You, Lockne and Mama entered the room right behind him, all three of you dressed in white, short dresses with wings made of silky material and snowflake patterns on your dresses, rocking to the music.

"Come here, children! I hope you all were good for the last year, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford took a seat in a huge armchair you borrowed from Die-Hardman. "It's time for presents!"

"So maybe Lou first, he is the youngest one, huh? What do you say?," Sam said softly, tapping on the glass gently to wake up the BB.

"I can go a second round! I am the most important bad guy here," Higgs said full of pride.

"Today my little, beautiful helpers will set the order, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford laughed deeply.

In the tact of music, Mama danced toward Sam and picked the pod with Lou from him.

"So, young gentleman, I know you've been a good, little bean, so I need to get inside my bag of presents to get yours! Aha! I have it!," Clifford pulled a new pod out, with the ribbon wrapped around it. "More space for dance, huh?"

Meantime, the song ended and the next one was on.

I sing this song

To pass the time away

Driving in my car

Driving home for Christmas

"Deadman for sure will move you into it as soon as possible. You should like it," Mama said with a smile.

"And Now back to papa," Lockne took BB and his gift to bring them back to Sam.

"Me now!," Higgs got up from his place and sat on Cliff's laps.

"So! Mr Santa-Sam's dad, what do you have for me, huh?," He smiled. "I was the best fucking boy the whole year!"

Cliff gently nudged Higgs' side to make him get off his lap. Clifford rubbed his long, white, fake beard. "We all know you've been the baddest but thankfully the beautiful lady over there," he pointed at you, "decided that you also deserved the gift. Let me find it in my bag of miracles."

Clifford reached into his bag and pulled the nicely wrapped box, he handled it to Monaghan. "Merry fucking Christmas, asshole."

It was nothing but a book about Egyptian mythology and a handmade cloak that was originally meant to be for Heartman.

"Thank you fucking much!," Higgs said excited and quickly returned to his seat to look at the stuff he got. He already loved them.

"So? Who's next... Maybe our Director." Mama said and walked to Die-hardman. "C'mon. Everyone gets something today."

Die-Hardman chuckled but let the lady scientist lead him to Clifford.

"And you!," Fake Santa Claus said, "You've been good, too. Here's your gift, merry Christmas!"

Die-Hardman was gifted with the themed tie with reindeers and with a polishing paste.

"It's for your mask, so it will always look classy," you smiled at him and as he returned to his seat, you walked to Heartman and grabbed him by palm.

"Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas, Heartman!," Clifford grinned widely and gave the man a heart-shaped box, in which Heartman found a pair of gloves with heart motiv on each and a CD with classical music.

"Thank you, Y/N," he smiled brightly at you and kissed your cheek. "It's the best gift."

Sam looked at Fragile. "Go on. I am sure Santa also got something for you."

Woman nodded and got up from her seat to walk closer to Santa. "Well, I was a good girl. I think at least. I tried," Fragile said slowly.

"Dear Fragile, and your gift is in my bag, that's for sure! Just be patient as the old man will find it!," Clifford chuckled and soon gifted the woman with a new umbrella with Fragile logo.

Then it was time for Deadman who got new glasses.

Amelie was gifted with a golden necklace that fit her dress perfectly.

Lockne and Mama also got the present, it was a little blanket with an admixture of chiral matter. "This will help your sweet daughter to sleep in a cradle, she won't be drifting up under the ceiling," you smiled at them. "It was my project with Heartman's execution," you explained.

Clifford got new night-vision goggles.

In the end, Sam was gifted with a new suit.

Everyone was enjoying their gifts, talking about them and enjoying whatever time left.

"Y/N?," Sam looked at you. "What with your gift? Everyone got something and you?," He frowned.

"Yeah! Exactly! Where is the gift for our beautiful host?," Higgs looked at you over Sam's shoulder, he was already wearing the new cape.

"My gift is everywhere. It's the atmosphere you all created and this is more than I could dream about. My heart's beating faster when I see you enjoy the meals, the gifts," you smiled at Sam and Higgs.

Higgs sighed placing his chin on Sam's shoulder. "Isn't she adorable! But it's not fair. You did so much."

"I hate to say that but Higgs is right," Sam sighed.

"I need to agree with both of them. You did so much, in such a short time. You gathered all of us here," Deadman added. "Who else agree?"

All you could do was to smile at everyone. "I mean it, guys. I don't need gifts. You all are the greatest gift to me."

Heartman walked to you from behind. "We kinda predicted you will think of everyone but yourself. So here's the gift from us," he handed you a box.

Unwrapping it with shaking hands, you felt the heart racing in your chest. In the box you found a notebook in a leather cover and a few pencils.

"We've heard you like to draw," Die-Hardman smiled.

"Guys... Thank you! So much!!," You cried quietly while hugging the gift to your chest.

"We are in this together, Y/N. If everyone gets a gift it means you get one too," Sam shrugged Higgs off earning a groan from Monaghan.

Party continued.

People talked and laughed, simply enjoyed the company, while finishing whatever food left.

Die-Hardman was having so much fun that now he was dancing with Lockne to one of the christmas songs.

Higgs was sitting in his seat looking through the book you gave him. It's not like he had people to interact with here.

You definitely had too many drinks. After almost half an hour of dancing with Heartman, you had to rest at the table. You flopped on the first free seat which was the place next to America's most wanted terrorist. You clicked your high heels off and groaned. "How much I hate these shoes!," You muttered while stretching like a cat.

"Why did you put them on? If they are uncomfortable just never wear them again," Higgs shrugged. "End of the problem."

You blinked at the comment and chuckled. "Fair point though. You'll never understand this though as you're the man and I'm the woman. Our brains are different," you hiccuped.

"I know when to stop drinking. You'll never understand this though as you're the woman and I am the man. Our brains are different," He giggled, teasing you.

You laughed at his comment; this man was about to be a death of yours.

You got up from your chair and reached out to him. "Hey, vamos a bailar!," You asked him with a little smile dancing in the corners of your mouth. "Pretty please?"

"No idea what you’ve just said but yea, sure, I agree on anything, sugar," Higgs said, returning a smile. "Lead the way."

You grabbed his palm firmly, without hesitation, and led him right into the dancefloor which was just the free space on the floor, next to the Christmas tree.

Heartman followed you with a frown. "I don't like it," he whispered to Fragile.

You climbed on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around a man's neck, both to get a bit intimidated and to support yourself from falling.

Fragile looked at you and Higgs, she shrugged.

"Since we have Death Stranding free day, let them enjoy it. After it's over, they will be mortal enemies again," she said and smiled. "Why? Are you jealous?"

Higgs chuckled. "Holy me, you are so small when I keep you close! I fucking love it."

Heartman blushed a little, rolled his eyes and lowered his thumb, taking 5 likes from Fragile before he moved aways with dancing moves, to join Mama.

You chuckled nervously at Higgs comment. "Thanks, I take it as a compliment," you simply rested your forehead against his chest.

She only laughed and nodded. "Thank you for confirming this, Heartman!," Fragile said a bit louder.

Higgs wrapped arms around your waist and nodded. "Oh yes, you indeed should take it as a compliment. Maybe I really should kidnap you as my christmas gift."

You giggled at his words while rocking into the rhythm of the music with him. "Maybe," you teased. "But I think that Sam and his dad would twist your neck after."

You suddenly raised a head to look at him, and you noticed a mistletoe above his head.

Higgs thought, looking at both men before his gaze returned to you. "Hmm... I honestly think it would be worth it," he noticed that you looked up and followed you. "Oh, fucking finally!,” Higgs said excited and pressed his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

You blinked when his lips crushed on yours but soon closed your eyes and enjoyed the kiss. You take the attempt to dominate him in the kiss but you fail so finally you give up your tries and simply wrap your arms around his neck.

Higgs pulled way after a moment and winked at you.

He reached up to take a small part of the mistletoe and then sneaked to Sam.

"Oh! Sammy boy!," Higgs sang.

Sam sighed deeply and turned to look at him. "What?," He frowned, seeing the mistletoe. "You kidding?"

Higgs gave him a wide smile and suddenly licked Sam's nose, making the other man froze.

Like nothing ever happened Higgs returned to you.

You started laughing hysterically which resulted in you losing the balance and almost falling on the floor, thankfully Higgs was faster and caught you in his arms.

Clifford spat all the whiskey he was about to swallow on Die-Hardman's shirt.

Heartman turned head around to see what happened but he lost his balance and fell on Lockne who spilled her wine right onto the electronic device on his chest.

Heartman's AED turned on and kicked him with an electric glitch, causing him to die on the spot.

"Higgs, you killed Heartman!," Amelie screamed.

"Nooot first and not the last death!" Higgs said with a shrug before kissing your lips quickly. "It's getting late and I have nukes to build! See you maybe next year!" He winked at you before vanishing.

As you lost Higgs as your frame, you fell right onto the floor and rolled on your back, still laughing.

"Or maybe not! It can wait!," Higgs said after returning. "Besides I didn't take my gifts."

"You really need to turn everything upside down?," Sam sighed, shaking his head.

"That's my job!," Higgs shrugged. "Who wants a drink?!"

You raised your hand up, still laying on the floor. You discovered it was a pretty comfortable place to rest. Or maybe you were just too drunk?

After 3 minutes another electric shock made Heartman's heart work properly again, and the man woke up, sitting on the floor. "What the fuck!"

Clifford was helping Die-Hardman to clean his shirt. "Monaghan! Stop being a douche-bag to everyone! If you won't listen, I'll have to shoot you," he warned, almost growling.

Amelie helped Heartman back on his feet. "You okay?"

"Yes, it's fine."

BB started crying.

Higgs quickly helped you up and smiled. "Oh, c'mon, Clifford! Everyone is well and alive. Even the heart boi. Practically, I did nothing wrong," he shrugged.

Sam let out a deep sigh. "It's Higgs after all. What else we can expect."

Higgs agreed with Sam, hugging you tightly.

You felt squeezed by his arms. "Can't... Breathe...," you whispered quietly hoping for him to lose his grasp.

Heartman smoothened his suit. "I almost forgot! I borrowed a camera from my friend's geologist. I want to take a picture of our pack, except you," he pointed his index finger at Higgs.

"Heartman, let him. He spent the entire evening with us, one photo won't affect anyone," Amelie nudged the man's chest.

"I fucking love photos!," Higgs jumped happily. "The host should have the honor of setting us for a photo!," He said excitedly.

You smiled at Higgs and squeezed his palm that you were still holding. "Okay, fellas. Clifford and Mama, you two go on left. Yes, just like that. Amelie, you with Fragile and Sam can take a seat on the couch."

"Sam, maybe you can be in the middle?," Amelie smiled at her stepbrother.

You pecked your lips as you were thinking. "Okay, Die-Hardman, would you be so kind to take a seat here, on the pouffe? Yes, just like that, thank you. Deadman, you can take our lovely Lou and stand next to the pouffe a little. Hmmm, and Heartman, my lovely friend, you can stand behind Die-Hardman. That's it! Perfect! Lockne, can you stand right next to your sister?"

Sam wasn't too happy he wasn't holding Lou but nodding he followed your little orders.

Mama and Lockne stood exactly where you wanted them, just like a Deadman.

"I see a perfect place for myself!," Higgs claimed excitedly and lied down on the floor. He turned on his side and propped up his head on a hand. "Perfect!"

You facepalmed a little but chuckled at the villain's idea. "Actually, you fit there perfectly, Higgs!"

You quickly set the camera on the shelf and made sure to turn the timer on, then you quickly ran to take a seat next to the Die-Hardman.

The flash lit the room and the picture was taken.

"Cool! Can I get one? I will have a nice souvenir from that nice day," Higgs asked from the floor. "I had so much fun!"

"Yes, of course you can!," You smiled at him and ran to the camera to set it again to take a second pic.

When the dawn was about to knock at the door, and when almost everyone was sleeping in weird positions where they could, you led Higgs to the exit. "I never thought I'd have so much fun with them all. And, though I didn't expect you, I'm grateful you came," you smiled at him and handled him his gifts to make sure he won't forget to take them along. "I put the picture into the book."

Higgs nodded, taking the book.

"Yeah, It was fucking fun. I enjoyed it," He sighed, looking at the gift from you. "Too bad that as soon as I leave we'll become a mortal enemies again,"

"Maybe you'll but not to me," assuring him, you grabbed his palm and squeezed it lightly. "No matter what you'd do, you gained a friend," you smiled.

Higgs took your palm and kissed the top of it. "Thank you, sugar. I will remember that."

"Take care of yourself as we need to meet next year for another Christmas party," you chuckled softly and blushed a bit at his sudden gesture.

Then, like he was one of the good guys, you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him. "Please, stay safe and see you in a year. Remember, you have to pop up! No excuse as it won't feel like Christmas without you."

Higgs hugged you, being totally confused but he nodded with a soft chuckle.

"Okay, I will try my best. See you in a year," He slowly pulled away and winked at you before vanishing.

You smiled to yourself while observing the flipped rainbow on the sky and hearing the thunder.

Despite your efforts, the Death Stranding still was on.

#sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan #clifford unger #heartman #mama #lockne #die-hardman #deadman #amelie strand #sam porter bridges x reader #heartman x reader #higgs monaghan x reader #death stranding #higgs monaghan fic #sam porter bridges fic

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builtonashes · 4 years

Text

Lost It All

So I’m FINALLY done with this Higgs x Reader story where I managed to combine a few prompts I got here on Tumblr. It’s pretty long, but I do like the way it turned out! Please tell me what you think :)

Pairing: Reader (F) x Higgs Monaghan

Rating: E

Word count: 15 028 (!), 18 467 in the final version

AO3 link: here

WARNING! This is a previous version of the story. An updated (and much longer) one is available under the AO3 link. I’m leaving the first version here to let you compare them yourself should you want to do that! All the changes are fitted into chapter 2 on AO3 so that you don’t have to go through the entire thing again of you don’t want to.

You hated this. You hated the weather, you hated the temperature, you hated the fact that it was getting late and that you were still far away from your shelter. Did you mention that you hated the weather? Well, now that you did the timefall got even heavier. Be careful what you wish for, you guessed, sighing and adjusting your backpack. There was nowhere to rest or hide from the rain so the only way for you right now was forward.

It was during times like these that you regretted the fact that your shelter has not yet been connected to the chiral network. No timefall shelters, no bridges, no structures at all. Just some rocks and an ever expanding MULE territory. If it wasn’t for your job, you would have moved to one of the Knot Cities a long time ago. Unfortunately your research demanded a very specific climate and a very specific location. Which was both your doom and the best thing to happen to you as you were at least left alone, but then every single time you needed resources or instruments you had to get them on your own. Usually on foot and usually under the worst imaginable weather.

Ever since Sam Porter Bridges connected most of the facilities in America to the UCA, it was getting harder to avoid MULEs. Their camps kept moving unpredictably and they were constantly adjusting the type of weapons they used. You were lucky to avoid them during your expeditions as you usually travelled light; unfortunately there were more and more news about your colleagues getting ambushed and robbed, usually not even remotely close to the MULE territory. It made your heart skip a beat every time you heard an unknown noise, even if it was just an animal passing you by. You already filed for a contract with a porter company a while ago as they were much better equipped to handle such situations, but no single one wanted to take it as the deliveries were unevenly spaced and relatively rare. Therefore most of the equipment you needed you actually had to pick up yourself. It didn’t help that the equipment you needed for your research was very valuable. You were actually hoping that the MULEs were stupid enough to not realize what your company’s researchers were carrying. The chiral transmitters didn’t look valuable, but if disassembled into parts they could fetch insane prices on the black market. You knew this, the other researchers knew this; hopefully, the MULEs didn’t.

Coming back from Mountain Knot City you didn’t have far to travel, but you did have to do some hiking. You actually liked the fact that your shelter was located in a very remote location. It was quiet and really hard to find if you didn’t know where to look. The proximity of caves and passages was also something that worked to your advantage. It was incredibly easy to get lost, slip and fall or take a wrong turn and end up in a completely different place. Of course you knew the paths by heart and it always made you laugh at all your guests trying to locate the lab and cursing for a few minutes after they arrived. You wanted to put up some signage at some point but dropped the idea pretty fast. It was one of your only sources of amusement during your working hours.

You decided to think about the good things. In an hour or so you’ll finally be able to dig into the sweets Heartman sent you as a thank you gift. You noticed gingerbread cookies, candy, caramel fudge and shortbread. You were right to leave those for later. Now you had something to look forward to.

You could almost see the path leading to the first of the intersections you had to pass when the rain almost stopped. A few drops here and there, but at least it was easier to see now. You were just about to turn left and pass one of the meadows when something caught your eye. A movement; normally your instincts would tell you to expect some kind of a forest animal, but there was no wildlife here; timefall got rid of it very effectively. You had to learn to not trust your instincts anymore. You suddenly felt blood rush to your head, filling your ears with a slow thrum of your own heartbeat. There was a sudden weight in your stomach slowly giving way to panic. Was someone here? Who could it be? Were you supposed to run? Or maybe try to hide?

Unfortunately, before you were able to make the decision you heard a swoosh of air and noticed an electric rod dig into the ground right next to you with a loud thump. You felt a jab of searing pain in your left leg, traveling all the way up to your knee. You tried willing your body to run, but the only thing you managed to do was fall over with dreaded realization that you couldn’t move. You couldn’t move your legs, you couldn’t move your hands. Apparently this time it was you the MULEs decided to ambush.

Your theory was confirmed in a few seconds as two strangers in very distinctive jumpsuits approached you, lifting you up by the arms and watching you closely. You closed your eyes shut, trying to calm down a little. There was no use in panicking. They already had you; the only way you could get out of this was by thinking smart.

„What do we have here?”, came a low, amused voice, forcing you to open your eyes. „Looks like it’s our lucky day, boys. I suggest we take her stuff it for safekeeping. What do you think?”

Two other men approached and ripped your backpack off your back. Going through your stuff, they discarded everything they didn’t need on the ground and finally found what they were looking for. The instruments were taken out with a loud aha! and quickly stowed away in one of the man’s vast pockets. You suddenly felt a hand tighten around your wrists, twisting them behind your back.

„What else do you have there, miss?”, the guy asked, the tone of his voice weirdly excited. „Apparently following you was a good decision. We were hoping to find maybe one of those expensive ass transmitters, but two? Almost like Christmas coming early this year.”

Well, that was it for hoping that the MULEs didn’t know how valuable your equipment was. You stood silently, trying to even out your breaths so that you wouldn’t hyperventilate. Your legs were still very weak, but you had no idea whether it was because of the electrocution or because of the pain. Your head was spinning and you felt nauseous. What were they going to do to you? The MULE’s grip on your wrists tightened even more, bordering on painful.

„You already have my stuff,” you whispered through gritted teeth, trying to take your mind away from the pain. „I don’t have anything else that could be useful to you.”

„Well, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” the MULE’s voice suddenly gained an undertone that made you feel very uncomfortable. „You see, we don’t have many visitors. Why don’t we have some fun before we let you go, huh? What do you say?”

You turned your head to look at the man right next to you. Tall, well-built, with a strong grip. There was no way you could overpower him. One good thing was that they were not going to kill you, not wanting to risk a voidout. Then again… there were so many other things they could have done to you it almost made you throw up. Unfortunately, you were still not able to move your legs. There was no way you were going to run.

You suddenly felt a stray tear fall down your cheek. The stress was getting to you. Your stomach felt like a tight, ice-cold knot and you could still feel the excruciating pain in your muscles. All these years with no incidents, all these comfortable years when you somehow felt invincible. And now this. They could do anything they wanted and there was no way for you to fight back. You were a scientist, for fuck’s sake - how were you supposed to oppose a group of men armed to the teeth?

Apparently it was only going to get worse.

The first hit to your face was hard and painful, immediately making your eyes water even more. You gasped, trying to move away, but the hold they had on your wrists was very powerful. The second blow was aimed at your stomach and sent you kneeling down on the ground. That was when you heard three vicious laughs right next to you and a new voice, a little higher than the last one.

„Just how I like them; on their knees and with nowhere to run,” the man said, moving closer and standing right in front of you. „Maybe we should take her to our camp? What do you think?”

„Dunno, boss,” an answer came from behind. „Too much trouble, I think.”

„Yeah, you’re probably right. Besides, we have a few other deliveries to catch.”

The sudden sharp pull on your hair made you gag, the boss’ hand bringing your face upwards to look you in the eyes. You couldn’t see him underneath the entire suit, but the urge to throw up was almost overwhelming.

„Gonna tell me your name, sweetheart?” - he asked, tightening the grip on your hair.

You shook your head. It would be too easy for them to target your friends if they knew who you were. You also knew that you were a terrible liar, so there was no use trying to come up with a random name just to give them something.

„As you wish,” the man said in a sing-song voice and raised his fist to hit you again. „Or maybe? Hm?”

You didn’t say anything and braced for another blow you could almost see coming. When the man’s gloved hand connected with your face you could swear there was something in there that tore the skin of your left cheek. And if that wasn’t enough, you could feel blood running down your nose, painting your mouth red.

„Nevermind then. We don’t need her conscious, now do we, boys? What would you say if I…”

He was suddenly cut short by something you were too exhausted to notice, your eyelids feeling too heavy to open fully. But there was movement; it was fast, chaotic, and there was a voice saying something you couldn’t understand. What you did manage to notice however was that there was a sudden release of both your wrists and hair, resulting in you falling to the ground again. Still unable to move your body, but able to twist your neck, you saw a flurry of black and red, painted with a little of orange signifying the MULEs’ jumpsuits. It was just a few minutes before you heard footsteps approaching, automatically flinching at the sound. What just happened? BTs? Another group of MULEs? You squeezed your eyes shut, not knowing what to expect, but bracing for pain nonetheless. When no blows came, you decided to slowly open your eyes.

„Hey, you alright?” The man approaching you crouched next to you and looked at your face. When he moved closer you saw him too; dirty and a little banged up, with a mouth crooked upwards in a smile. „I swear if I see those bastards here again I’m going to kick them to the nearest Beach. You have no idea how much they irritate me.”

Did this man… save you? Or was he just trying to take your cargo for himself? You tried to move, your body still in a lot of pain. It was hard to talk.

„Wh… Who…?”

„Oh, who am I? Just a random passer-by. I keep wandering those mountains and looking for… stuff. And I really don’t like these guys fucking with random hikers.”

You grunted, spitting out blood and finally managing to move enough to lay on your back. The relief was much greater than you initially thought if would be, but the searing pain was still there, making you shiver uncontrollably and intensifying the dizziness. „You… saved my… life-” you wanted to say, but he interrupted you immediately.

„Well, they wouldn’t’ve killed you, darling,” he moved even closer to you and reached out with his gloved hands, wiping the blood from your face with his thumb. „Okay, now you look almost like a regular human being, but this cheek is gonna need stitches. Anyway, I’ve seen those guys do some nasty stuff to the people they ambush. Now don’t get me wrong. They wanna steal, I’m not gonna care. But this, I don’t want to see on my watch.”

You closed your eyes and felt the adrenaline leaving your body. Suddenly the pain was almost as unbearable as the fatigue. You started wondering how you were going to get back to your shelter.

„Fuck, it hurts,” you sighed, gritting your teeth.

„I can imagine,” the man said, sitting down on the ground right next to you. „Hey, I have a favor to ask. Do you live far?”

„No… not really.”

„Great. I’ll help you get there. Looking at your company tag, you probably have some food and a place for me to crash for a while. You think you could help me out, darling?”

Every single cell of your being screamed no, you have no idea who that man is, don’t trust him, but on the other hand, he did save you from the MULEs. It was the least you could do to pay him back.

„Fine,” you said, opening a direction map on your cufflink; the action almost seemed impossible in your current state. You could feel your head swimming again and your vision was beginning to darken. „Let’s go… before the rain gets worse.”

„Sure thing.”

Before you even had the time (or strength, for that matter) to protest, he picked you up and started carrying you with an it’ll be faster that way thrown carelessly in the air between you. The last thing you were able to notice before you threw up and then passed out was that he was also carrying the chiral transmitters the MULEs stole from you.

***

You woke up with a dull headache, opening your eyes seeming impossible at first. Where were you? What happened? You did have some recollection of the most recent events, but definitely not all of them. You remembered your way home from Mountain Knot City, the MULE attack… oh, and the strange man who saved you from those idiots.

Forcing yourself to open your eyes, you noticed that you were in your own shelter. In your own bed. Everything hurt like crazy, something pulling at your cheek and your jaw feeling incredibly swollen. You tried to move your legs and almost, almost made it when you heard a shuffle of fabric and noticed the stranger suddenly standing next to you.

He was taller than you remembered.

„Good morning, sunshine,” he chimed, leaning over you and looking you in the eyes. „How are we feeling today? You slept for an entire day, you know. You have no idea how bored I was.”

You tried sitting up a little, just to be able to talk to him more comfortably. A day? Your head was wrapped in bandages, some strange gel covering your leg. What the hell happened here?

„Wh… how…”

„Don’t try talking yet, darling. You’re still exhausted. I patched you up the best I could, so you’re probably going to live. Oh, and your friend Heartman called. I didn’t pick up because I didn’t want him to freak out. By the way, what kind of a stupid name is that?”

Heartman called? Oh God. He was probably worried sick by now.

Sitting up a little with your back resting against the pillows, you moved your hand up and noticed purple bruises where your cufflink was. Probably from the strong grip those bastards had on your wrists. Only then did you realize how lucky you actually were that nothing worse happened to you.

„Alright,” you sighed, not really able to think as fast as you would’ve like to. „Thank you. Really. Have you been here all this time?”

Instead of answering, the man reached for a bottle of water and a straw, moving it up to your face. You caught the straw greedily between your lips and even though you knew it wasn’t wise to drink this much this fast, you didn’t care. You were so thirsty.

„Yes,” the man answered, sitting on the bed right next to you. You were finally able to take a better look at him. „It’s actually pretty cozy here. And warm. And I was right about you having food. By the way, I ate most of it.”

The man was tall and well-built, currently wearing a black t-shirt and cargo pants. You noticed a few scars on his arms and hands. His hair was a mess and he apparently hasn’t shaved in the last few days, but he still looked… friendly? Well, definitely not as someone who could hurt you. The look in his blue eyes made a very different impression though.

With the water doing wonders for your sore throat, you were finally able to focus your thoughts a little more.

„Who are you?” You asked, leaning back into the pillows.

„Do you really want to know?” His tone was playful. Why was it playful?

„Well, you spent all this time here and patched me up, so I guess I could at least get to know your name.”

He seemed hesitant. Placing the now empty water bottle on the ground, he shifted uncomfortably.

„I’m not… the most desired person to be around right now, you know.”

„So I’ve guessed. But don’t worry, anything you say here is safe with me. I owe you that much.”

He shifted again, suddenly moving his gaze away from you.

„Alright. It’s not like you weren’t going to find out anyway. My name is Higgs. Higgs Monaghan.”

You blinked twice, expecting him to say that it was a joke. But he didn’t. If he really was who he was saying he was, you let the most dangerous man in the world into your home. Very smart, Y/N. Very smart.

But then again, if he wanted to hurt you or abuse you in any way, wouldn’t he already have done so? Something was wrong here.

„That Higgs Monaghan? Weren’t you supposed to be dead? Or, I don’t know, exiled or something?”

He moved his head, looking at you again. There were so many conflicting emotions lingering on his face that you had no idea how to read them.

„Well, that didn’t really work out,” he shrugged. „Although I am exiled in a way, you know. Anyway, I won’t be too much of a bother. I promise. I’m just going to crash here for the next few days and leave, and you’re never going to see me again.”

„Wait,” you said, trying to follow his train of thought. „So that’s all you want? A place to crash?”

„Uhh, yeah. I don’t really… have anywhere to go now, you know. And I figured that you might help me if I helped you. So I jumped in when those nasty MULEs were trying to hurt you. I guess it was kinda selfish of me, huh?”

You sat in silence for a few moments, trying to figure out how to respond. Higgs, the terrorist and cold-blooded killer, sitting on your bed, definitely not acting like the monster you heard he was.

Something was not right here. Was he… playing you? Maybe he was planning to take you hostage? Your brain immediately started coming up with so many different scenarios your head started to hurt. You had to do something, something that would make you feel safe.

„Alright,” you said after a while, closing your eyes again to try and control the headache. „I have to call Heartman. He’s going to worry.”

„Have fun then. I’ll be on the couch, eating.”

You watched with disbelief as he stood up and left the room, hearing him sit down on your couch in the space you liked to call your living room. Not like it resembled one at all, but you liked to have this distinction. Suddenly, you felt even more uneasy. This man was in your house, in your room. It was no longer your private, personal space. What was he trying to do? Did he have any hidden agenda? You were hoping to observe his reaction to your mention of needing to call Heartman, but he didn’t seem to care. So probably not a hostage. Maybe he was actually telling the truth.

Maybe he was just as lost as the rest of the world.

You opened a connection on your cufflink. Heartman picked up after half a beep.

„Y/N, Gods, I was worried sick!”, you heard him say on the other side and suppressed a chuckle. „What happened? Where were you? Why did I get those weird biometric readings?”

„It’s nice to talk to you too,” you smiled, the motion making you flinch with pain due to your cheek injury. „Before I tell you anything, I just want you to know that I’m fine.”

„What are you talking abo-”

„I was attacked by MULEs,” you said quickly, not really wanting to get into another long discussion about the need to monitor every single activity of all people who work on the network. „But I’m fine. A little bruised, but I’ll live.”

„What-how-I’m sending a medical team to you right away-”

„Stop,” you could almost imagine the scowl he would make at that. „Do I need to remind you that we only have one medical team at our disposal? I suggest you don’t bother them every single time I get a bruise. They might, you know, actually be needed somewhere.”

You heard Heartman sigh. He knew you were right. On the other hand, you also knew that he always worried about his fellow scientists.

„Alright,” he said, defeat obvious in his voice. „But please promise me that you’re going to call me if you need anything. And send me the coordinates so I can send an investigation team to secure the area.”

„I will. Now please stop worrying. I just have to rest for a while and I’ll be good as new.”

„Only if you really rest, you know. Not get to work right away,”

„I know, I know. But you really don’t need to worry. I know I have to take it easy every once in a while.”

„I hope you do. I’ll call you again in a few hours to make sure.”

„Well, I can’t promise I won’t be sleeping then.”

„Or working.”

„I love you too.”

You ended the connection and sat back on the pillows. It really did take a huge toll on you to pretend that you were feeling better than you actually were. Your muscles hurt, your head was spinning and you were pretty sure there were burns on your leg because of the electrocution. At least it felt that way. Not to mention that you could feel the stitches pulling every single time you moved your jaw.

Higgs came back into the bedroom, carrying something with him.

„I brought you something to eat,” he said, eyeing the package carefully. „But I’m not sure how to serve this.”

You glanced to the right, noticing what he was holding.

„You… have to boil it first,” it was beginning to get harder and harder to talk.

He approached you with a weird expression on his face.

„I’m… not sure I understand. How do I boil it?”

„You know. The usual way. You boil water, put the contents in the pot and add some spices. And a spoonful of butter. Then you boil it some more.”

„Wait… what?” His expression changed to puzzled and you realized he had no idea what you were talking about.

„Nevermind,” you sighed, the pain in your back getting worse and worse. „I probably wouldn’t be able to eat it anyway. There’s some protein bars in one of the cupboards. Do you know how to make tea or is that too much for you?”

„Hey! No need to be rude!”

„Sorry. I’m just… it really hurts, you know.”

His features softened a little and he sighed too.

„Okay. I’ll be right back.”

You slumped down on the pillows again and tried to regulate your breathing. Your legs did not only hurt, now they were starting to itch. Maybe you should try and get up just so you could make sure Higgs used the proper medicine.

You moved your entire body to the left and tried moving your legs too to let them dangle from the bed. It hurt like hell, but then again it wasn’t because of the pressure, so you figured it wouldn’t get worse if you placed your feet on the floor and tried to get up.

Unfortunately you were very, very wrong.

The second you pulled yourself up you fell down hard, hitting the floor with a loud thud and the fall resulted in a cascade of pain travelling between your legs and your chest. Suddenly it got hard to breathe. You got scared and felt tears well up in your eyes, constricting your airway even further. Still, before you managed to make any additional sound Higgs was by your side, lifting you up and placing you back on the bed. As soon as you were laid flat again, the suffocating feeling disappeared.

„Seriously, can’t you just lay still for a moment? You’re really badly hurt. You’re not supposed to be moving.”

„I know… I just…” you hated how weak your voice sounded. „I thought…”

„Just stay here, okay? You’ll be back up in no time, but you can’t rush it. Which reminds me, I have to change the dressing on your face. But that can wait until you’re done eating.”

He actually brought you one of the protein bars and some fresh brewed tea. You tried taking it easy with the bar, knowing that you literally won’t be able to stomach it if you ate it too fast. You had to admit that the meal actually made you feel a lot better.

„Thank you,” you said, feeling much warmer and a little stronger. „I’m sorry for being an idiot. I won’t do that again.”

„Good. Now sit up so I can redress that wound.”

You were surprised with the swiftness of his moves when he took off the old dressing, cleaned the area of the wound and placed new gauze on top of your skin. You didn’t fail to notice that he actually knew what he was doing. It made you a little less concerned about the state of your legs.

„Does it look bad?” You asked, looking away from his face.

„Not really,” he said, collecting the used gauze from your bed. „It probably won’t even leave a scar. I had to put two stitches in, but if you don’t fumble with it then you have nothing to worry about.”

Two stitches. In your face. Great.

„Thank you.”

You didn’t have a lot of energy to talk more than that, so you laid back down and decided to take it easy. You noticed Higgs leaving for the living room again, heard him sit down on your couch again and slowly drifted into dreamless sleep.

Maybe it would really do you good to just take it easy for a while.

***

The next few days were a blur, consisting mostly of sleep, eating, taking care of your injuries and Higgs washing your skin with a damp cloth. You were not really comfortable with him taking off your shirt and pants to do that, but you had to admit you were grateful for his help, especially since you were in no condition to just get up and take a shower. He would submerge the cloth in warm water, sit down next to you on the bed and wipe the sweat and blood off your body.

„How long are you planning to stay here?” You asked during the third session, trying to take your mind off the fact that you didn’t really like strangers touching you, especially in such a vulnerable state.

„I don’t know,” he answered, not looking at your face. „Probably a few more days. I’ll wait until you can take care of yourself. But I can leave now if you want me to.”

You did and you didn’t. You had to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to, but then again it was Higgs, a mass-murdering terrorist with strange powers that you couldn’t even begin to understand. And yet he did nothing to scare you so far. You figured he would’ve hurt you a long time ago if that’s what he was after. Apparently that was not the case.

„It’s fine,” you said, trying to adjust your position so that your back wouldn’t hurt as much. „I just… I don’t really understand what you’re doing here.”

„Mostly reading,” he answered with a silent chuckle. „But yeah, you probably have quite a lot of questions regarding what my plan is. Allow me to explain then. I have no plan. I’m just trying to find a new place for myself now that I’m no longer the herald of death.”

You blinked.

„Excuse me?”

„The extinction entity cut me loose. BRIDGES found and destroyed my hideout. I made so many enemies that it’s probably not a good idea to live close to other people. I’m sure that if you told BRIDGES where I am they would immediately hunt me down. So yeah, I guess I owe you one too. For not telling them, that is.”

You haven’t even thought about that, but now that he said it, it made perfect sense. One message or one phone call and they could be here in half an hour. But it’s not like it would be of any use.

„Why would I do that? You would probably just kill everyone, me included, and all my work would disappear in a voidout.”

He snorted.

„Yeah, I probably would.”

Something was off in his voice, but you decided not to pry any further. You couldn’t help but feel that the conversation was turning dangerous.

In a week the pain in your legs finally got bearable and you could stand up to take a shower. Higgs helped you get to the bathroom, holding one strong arm around your shoulders. You were surprised to notice that he was actually rather skinny - something you were not able to notice with all the clothes he was wearing. He left you by the door and returned to the couch, looking tired. Passing by the living room you noticed discarded wrappers, empty bags of crisps and sweets, but no plates or bowls of actual food. It puzzled you a little, but the thoughts left you as soon as you entered the shower and finally let the warm water run down your skin.

It wasn’t easy to move your arms and your body in general, but you managed somehow, washing yourself the best you could. It was amazing to finally feel clean, to finally be able to wash your hair. There were burn marks on your legs, a few leftover bruises and the still-healing cut on your cheek, but you had to admit it wasn’t that bad. It could’ve been a lot worse. You shook your head, trying not to think about what the MULEs were planning to do to you. You were fine. You were going to be fine, because he helped you. Even if he only did it because of his own selfish reasons, there was no denying that he basically saved you.

You suddenly felt wrong, not really being able to pinpoint the reason why.

When you put on some clean clothes and returned to the living room, you were surprised to see Higgs laying on the couch, curled up in a fetal position under a blanket, asleep. Now that you had more time, you took a better look at him. There was only one word coming to mind looking at him then. Vulnerable. Pale skin, bags under his eyes. What was the deal with this guy? From what you heard, he was supposed to be the most powerful human being on the entire planet.

You sat down next to him, trying to not wake him up. He shifted under the blanket, murmuring something under his breath. It was only then that you noticed a digital notepad laying on the table in front of you. It wasn’t yours, so it must’ve been him who left it there. Without giving it much thought, you reached out and grabbed it with your right hand, careful not to move too much both because of the pain and the fact that you didn’t really want him to know that you were going through his stuff. Still, it looked like he was working on it, so maybe it was going to give you some answers. Especially since he left it unlocked.

You noticed a few files on the desktop, all named using dates. You clicked the one featuring today’s one. When you noticed that it was just a wall of text, you decided to close it, but something stopped you. The title.

It was a journal.

Higgs was writing a journal.

You sent a quick glance his way to make sure that he was still sleeping. There was no movement from his side, so you decided to read through it.

You would have never expected to read what you did.

You’re all alone now. You’ve lost everything. Your mask, her quipu, the BB doll… gone.

You thought you had the power, that you were the one fated to lead them unto extinction… yet here you are, alone. You thought you were in control. That this was your role, your dream… The verge of victory, of oblivion for one and all… Herald, executioner, pawn. God particle? Hah. A stupid name for a stupid goddamn fool.

This was your life, Higgs. Your tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and righteous fury…

Signifying nothing.

You stared at the notepad, trying to wrap your head around what you just read. What was that supposed to mean? Was this what he meant by cut loose by the extinction entity? Or maybe…

Your train of thought was abruptly stopped by a hand snatching the notepad away from you. You screamed in surprise as Higgs was immediately upon you, hands pinning you down to the couch, one on your chest, one on your neck. Anger was burning in his eyes.

„You should not have done that,” he whispered through gritted teeth, face inches away from yours. „You really should not have done that.”

He squeezed hard, blocking your airway, bringing tears to your eyes.

God, why were you so damn stupid.

„I’m… sorry…” you wheezed, trying to take a breath, but his grasp got even tighter. „I didn’t… know…”

„Of course you didn’t,” he spat, his expression even more angry. „You think I did?”

Tears were falling down your face now, not allowing you to speak anymore. So this is it, you thought. Curiosity always kills the cat. And you were going to die here, Higgs was going to kill you with his bare hands, your shelter will be destroyed in a voidout and that would be it. Your life and research gone with a snap of his fingers.

And then, suddenly, his hands let go and he pulled away from you.

The breath you took felt like something that could rupture your lungs, burn through your entire body with the sheer force of your constricting muscles. But it didn’t. It left you gasping for more air, your neck hurting and bruised, incredibly painful. You blinked a few times to chase the tears away, wheezing as your body desperately pleaded for more oxygen. You moved away, sitting up instinctively, trying to protect yourself from the man in front of you. But he was just sitting there, a shadow of defeat present on his face.

It made your chest hurt once again, but this time it was an entirely different feeling.

„I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice coarse from the assault. „You’re right. I shouldn’t have touched your stuff.”

He didn’t answer. He just slumped on the couch, back under the blanket, turning away from you.

„It’s fine,” he said after what felt like hours, resignation obvious in his voice. „It’s not like it matters now anyway.”

You didn’t know what to do. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do? You had so many questions, but there was no way to ask them now. You didn’t want to make him angry, but there was obviously something wrong, something that made you think he wasn’t really the man he was said to be, at least now. Something that made you think he might’ve been through more than you and that he didn’t just look defeated.

He was defeated.

You stood up, massaging your neck and making your way into the kitchen. You needed some food to help you think. By the looks of your living room, he needed some real food too, so you decided to make something that would actually be both good and nutritious.

Going through your fridge, you were glad to see that most of your groceries were still good to go. You still had some vegetables from the timefall farm, some rice, some frozen chicken. Apparently Higgs only dug into your supply of protein bars and junk food. You felt a shiver run down your spine when you thought about his eating habits. Well, he still saved your life. And you were an idiot to look into his notepad, yes, but you could at least try and make it up to him somehow. You didn’t want to make him think that you weren’t grateful.

Although it might have been too late for that.

When you were done with the preparations you put the rice, the chicken and the vegetables into two bowls and went back into the living room. Higgs was awake, sitting on the couch and clicking frantically on his notepad. You felt another shiver, but suppressed it quickly and approached the couch, sitting down right next to him.

„Here,” you said, offering him one of the bowls. „I made some food.”

He looked at the bowl, a puzzled expression on his face.

„You’re not trying to poison me, are you?”

„No Higgs, I’m not. Eat. You could use some actual food.”

„I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

„Protein bars and crisps are not actual food.”

„Maybe for you.”

You were glad to notice that he was back to his usual demeanor, not sulking under the blanket. You took it as a good sign. He took the bowl from you and started eating, eyeing the first spoonful carefully.

„It’s not going to bite you.”

„Very funny,” he said, swallowing down a particularly big portion of vegetables. „Oh.”

„What?”

„It’s… it’s really good.”

You’ve never seen anyone eat so fast before. He devoured the entire bowl in what felt like seconds while you were still on your second bite. He must have noticed the surprise on your face, so he smiled a little and carefully put the bowl back on the table.

„There’s more if you want.”

„Yes please.”

He ate another serving of the meal just as fast, his look turning into disappointment when he was done. Ultimately he ended up eating another portion and only then did he finally seem sated.

„I take it that you liked it.”

„It was amazing,” he said, making you chuckle. „Really. It was the best meal I ever had.”

„Well, I’m glad. I need to rest now. Cooking was more exhausting than I thought, but the food made me feel better too.”

You sat on the couch for a while longer, Higgs looking weirdly confused. Apparently he wanted to say something more. So you just sat there looking at him until he finally sighed.

„I’m sorry,” his voice was soft, no angry undertone present anymore. „I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. I just… I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t planning on showing this to anyone. I guess I just had to let it out of my system somehow.”

You got more comfortable on the couch, your legs starting to hurt again. He moved, making more space for you.

„I know,” you said after a while. „We can agree it never happened if you promise not to do it ever again.”

„I promise,” he answered immediately, a pleading look on his face. „I do. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You smiled.

„Good,” you said, the stress and worry dissipating a little bit. „And I promise I’m never going to touch anything that belongs to you without your permission.”

„Thanks.”

„But we can talk about it if you want. About what’s bothering you so much, I mean. Maybe it’ll make you feel… better.”

He sighed again.

„There’s nothing to talk about. I’m done and it’s all over. Everything is gone. There’s nothing I can do or change in that matter.”

You moved a little to massage your legs. The muscles were still sore and you felt very weak. Starting with your feet, you moved upwards, kneading your calves carefully.

„Alright. I’m not going to pry. But I want you to know that you can talk to me. It’s the least I can do.”

„You already did more than enough,” he ran his hand through his hair. „Here, let me.”

You stopped moving and looked at him, puzzled.

„What?”

„You’re tired. Let me massage your legs for you. Sit back and relax.”

You were surprised with his offer, but did as you were told. Straightening your back to lay against the pillows on the couch, you extended your legs and he started massaging your left foot. It felt much better than your own hands, still weak and tired from an entire week of just laying down.

It was actually a very pleasant feeling.

„You don’t have to do this.”

„I want to. Shut up.”

Relaxing into the couch a little more, you groaned with disbelief and decided to just let it go. You sat like that for a few minutes, Higgs massaging your legs carefully and you feeling better and better with every passing minute.

„I guess it would do me good if I actually walked for a bit,” you said after a while, moving your legs away and placing your feet on the ground. „I do have to get stronger. I have to get back to work. Which reminds me… I think I noticed you taking my stuff back from the MULEs.”

„Ah, yes. I left these weird things by your bed. One might be broken though.”

„Doesn’t matter. I can always repair it. Making a new one would probably be… impossible,” you sighed, standing up and stretching. „Anyway, I guess I’ll try to slowly get to work. I’ll be in my study if you need me.”

„Study?”

„Yeah, this tiny room over there. I have my desk and instruments there. I’m gonna go through my calendar and figure out what I have to do.”

„Okay, but try not to overwork yourself. I’m not carrying you back to the bedroom.”

You snorted.

„I may not look like it, but I’m actually pretty resilient, you know.”

„Oh, that you are. But you’re also pretty stupid sometimes, so I’m saying it just in case.”

You rolled your eyes and left the living room, taking the chiral transmitters from the bedroom and placing them on the desk in your study. You were right; one was broken, but it wasn’t anything you won’t be able to fix.

Still, you figured it might be a good idea to give Heartman another call.

„Hey there,” you said as soon as your cufflink connection went through. „Just wanted to report that I’m feeling much better.”

„That’s great,” the scientist’s voice came from the speaker. He was obviously relieved. „I take it that you were resting?”

„I was, actually. But I think it’s high time I got back to work. I’m bored.”

Heartman laughed. His laugh always made your heart warmer.

„Good, good,” he said, voice soft and sweet as always. „I actually have some good news for you.”

„Go on.”

„We signed a contract with a security company working with BRIDGES. They will be patrolling the area between our settlements, so we won’t have to worry about MULEs any longer. They already started with the patrols too, so you’ll be safe to travel when you get better.”

„Are you saying that because you’re concerned about our safety or because you want to invite me over for tea?”

„Do I really have to choose?”

You both laughed for a while, his words always lightening your mood. Talking to him felt like home. After all, he was the closest thing you had to a family. You didn’t want him to worry about you too much, but being the kind-hearted man he was you knew it was impossible for him to just let this go. So you actually… lied to him a few times. Just so that you didn’t put even more strain on his poor heart.

You talked for a while longer, Heartman giving you updates about his most recent work so that you could jump right in. As soon as you were done, you decided to work on the broken chiralium transmitter first. Your back still hurt a little and your legs would cramp from time to time, but it was nothing you couldn’t live with. Still, you decided that three hours of work was enough and decided to get back to the bedroom and get some sleep.

You were expecting to find Higgs on the couch, minding his own business, but as soon as you entered the living room you noticed that something was off. It was quiet. Lifeless. The room was empty, two bowls you ate out of still on the table. There was no sign of Higgs in the bathroom or your bedroom either. You sat down on the couch, sighing deeply and feeling a sting of guilt in your stomach.

You didn’t expect him to leave so soon.

***

„I have to tell you something.”

You were sitting at a table in Heartman’s lab, a cup of tea in your hand. You left your shelter for the first time since the assault. It felt so long ago that you couldn’t believe it has just been a little over a month, especially since almost all of your injuries were perfectly healed by then.

„Oh?” Heartman’s tone was inquisitive, curious. „What’s that?”

„About the attack. I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

You noticed his expression shift into concern.

„What are you talking about?”

You reached for a gingerbread cookie and chewed on it, trying to find the right words.

„Can you promise me that it’s going to stay between us? I don’t want BRIDGES all over this.”

„Of course,” Heartman activated his cufflink and cut off all network connections just in case. „Please don’t tell me I have to be worried. Did they… what did they do to you?”

You looked around, following the lights of network switches going offline with your eyes. As soon as the last one was off, you sighed and moved a little closer to the table.

„There was a man,” you started, not really knowing how to put all of this into words; still, you knew you had to talk to someone and Heartman was the only person you trusted wholeheartedly. „He saved me. He took care of me. He brought me back to my shelter, nursed me back to health and disappeared. It has been bothering me ever since.”

Heartman blinked, opening his mouth to speak and closing it back immediately.

„A man? You mean, a stranger?”

„Not really. Well, I had no idea who he was at first, but then he introduced himself and I was sure he wanted to use me as a hostage or something. But he didn’t. He just sat there, saying that he lost everything and that he had nowhere to go, and that…”

„Y/N,” the look in Heartman’s eyes was soft, but also full of worry when he interrupted your sentence. „Who was this man?”

You sighed.

„Higgs Monaghan. It was Higgs Monaghan.”

Heartman’s eyes widened in obvious shock, a visible shiver running down his spine.

„That Higgs Monaghan?”

„Yes.”

„And you didn’t think it might be a good idea to tell me?”

„No, because I was sure that if BRIDGES learned about his whereabouts they would send a small army to hunt him down and he’d just kill everyone and send all my research to hell with a voidout!”

„Alright, alright,” Heartman’s tone changed to apologetic since he realized he might have upset you. „You’re sure it was him?”

„Yes.”

„But you said he took care of you. It doesn’t make any sense. Why would he?”

„I don’t know. He said he figured I could take him in for a few days and that I probably had food. I figured it’s the least I could’ve done to repay him. He did save me from the MULEs, you know.”

Heartman looked puzzled, obviously going through what he just heard in his head.

„I have a hypothesis,” he said after a while. „I already shared it with Sam and Die-Hardman. I think it would make a lot of sense if what you’re saying is true.”

„Meaning?”

„Meaning that we believe Higgs lost his powers after he lost the connection to Amelie. He was supposed to wander the Beach for all eternity, but the extinction entity brought him back to our world. Powerless.”

Suddenly, it all clicked.

„My God, you might be right. I accidentally read his journal and it was… he seemed so defeated. He wrote about being alone, about losing everything. At the time I didn’t understand what it could mean. But God, you can be right.”

Heartman put his cup of tea back on the table and moved his wrist to open something on his cufflink.

„Look,” he said, showing you a chart analyzing a BB doll. „We ran tests on the dolls, actually being able to confirm that they acted as conduits between Amelie and her pawns. Higgs had one just like that. I believe that when Amelie took the doll away from him, he didn’t lose his powers per se, just the connection to the source. But we don’t know how it might affect him. Have you seen him use his powers?”

„No,” you admitted, trying to recall the events of the assault. „I remember MULEs beating me up and some very blurry scenes. I don’t know if it was him attacking them or anything.”

„Well, we must assume that my theory might be true. Still, there is no power source even half as great as Amelie. If he truly did lose it, there’s no way he’s getting it back.”

You suddenly felt your chest tighten with pain. Why would that affect you so much?

Heartman closed the chart and brought his cup of tea back to his lips, taking a long sip.

„Why save me then?” You asked suddenly, rather asking yourself than Heartman.

„There are a few options. One, he figured he might use you somehow. Two, he wanted what you had for himself. Three, he’s actually powerless and lost. Four… all of the above, I guess.”

„What if it’s number three? What if he actually has nowhere to go?”

Heartman straightened his back in the chair, obviously concerned. Not for Higgs though; his concern was for you.

„Well… with all the people currently after him, I don’t really think he has a chance to live much longer. Not after what he’s done. I’m not going to report him to BRIDGES, but I think you should. It’s only a matter of time before they find him.”

„You think they’re going to kill him?”

„I wouldn’t be surprised.”

You wouldn’t have been surprised either. And yet somehow it felt so wrong to judge this man like that.

God, what a mess, you thought. What an actual, fucked up mess.

***

You thought that talking to Heartman might make you feel better; in reality, it made you feel a lot worse.

Coming back to your shelter from his lab you felt your heart growing heavier with every passing second. The thing was, you knew all the things that were said about Higgs. But you also knew this side of him that was so unlike anything you’ve heard. The side where he actually saved your life, for that matter. Even if it was just a coincidence for him, it definitely meant much more for you. You owed him more than you could ever possibly repay and it made you so angry that you will probably never have a chance to even try and return the favor.

Trying to organize your thoughts somehow you didn’t even notice how close you were to your shelter already. Moving along a narrow path leading almost exactly to the entrance, you could’ve sworn you caught yourself mumbling. Stopping for a while to adjust your backpack, you were glad to see that the pathway was actually safe this time. Ever since the BRIDGES patrols started showing up, there were no MULE sightings whatsoever. You stretched, took a few sips of water and continued the walk, trying to calm down and think about work for once.

When you arrived at your shelter it was already getting dark, the evening breeze a little too cold for your liking. It was also pretty foggy, making the valley appear much more ominous than it actually was. You heard the familiar robotic voice informing you that you ID has been recognized and just as you were supposed to enter you heard another sound, one you have actually never heard before.

„WARNING. INTRUDER ALERT. WARNING. WARNING.”

You started looking around frantically, trying to subdue the panic starting to rise in your stomach. Nobody knew you lived there; nobody knew anyone lived there! If your location has been compromised, you would probably have to find a new place. Fuck this. Where was this damn intruder?

You looked around, noticing no change to the surroundings whatsoever. Only then did you notice something weird on the rocks just north of the entrance, a dark smear of some sort. Approaching it carefully and looking more closely, you felt a shiver run down your spine.

It was blood. Fresh blood.

And there was a lot of it.

Too scared to move, you followed the bloody trail with your eyes first. It didn’t start by the rocks, it started much earlier. The problem was that is led directly to the entrance of your shelter. And over there…

You couldn’t believe your own eyes.

There was someone laying there in a pool of blood, wearing heavy boots, a weird cape, cargo pants and… oh my God.

It was Higgs.

Throwing caution to the wind, you were by his side in seconds. Checking for his pulse, you felt incredibly relieved when you found out he wasn’t dead, just very weak. You turned him carefully to see what injuries would cause such massive blood loss, finding three deep cuts on his stomach and leg. It was then that he opened his eyes, face extremely pale, and smiled at you weekly.

„I’m sorry,” you heard him say, his voice barely above a whisper. „I… didn’t know where else to go. But it might have been a bad idea… if I die… I didn’t…”

„Shut up,” you said, feeling tears welling up in your eyes for no apparent reason. „Shut up. Don’t talk. You lost a lot of blood.”

Trying very hard to keep pressure on the wounds, you managed to help him up and then inside, placing him on the bed and removing his clothes immediately. The cuts were bad but it was not the only thing you noticed. There were also bruises and burns all over his body, all of them relatively fresh. You also realized that the fingers in his right hand were broken and that his fingernails were gone. Not really wanting to think about it too much right then, you felt the adrenaline kick in immediately. You needed to help him and you needed to be fast.

You didn’t have a lot of medical experience, but what you did have should be enough. You managed to clean and sew the two deepest cuts, making sure he won’t be losing any more blood. He needed a transfusion though and there was no way he would have been able to tell you what blood type he had. Taking a small sample and waiting for the results you cleaned some of the burns, two of them obviously chemical, covering the wounds with special dressings that were supposed to speed up the healing process. Focusing on his hand, or rather what was left of it, you noticed something else. A few thin, long lines across his wrists, obviously old and well-healed. You ran your fingers along them, noticing how much blood you had on your hands.

„D-don’t,” you heard Higgs say through gritted teeth, „Don’t let d-daddy see, he’s going to hurt me, p-please don’t let him see-”

He was obviously delirious, mumbling under his breath, but the words hit you like a freight train. You realized then that you had absolutely no idea who the man on your bed was and what he has been through. You knew what he did, but you had no idea why he did it. And you were more and more curious with each passing second, so many contradictory facts only messing with your head more.

Now was not the time to think about it though. The blood test was done and you immediately used your terminal to fabricate three blood bags, making sure it was offline for the duration of the process so that nobody could notice you using it for a blood type that wasn’t your own. Hooking Higgs up to the first one, you turned your attention to his hand. Every single finger was broken and apparently his fingernails were torn. Was he tortured? What the hell happened to him?

Cleaning his fingers you realized there would be no way for you to fix them with your medical expertise. Taking a 3D scanner from your study you quickly scanned his left hand, mirrored the image and quickly designed a special two-part cast that would push his bones in place when snapped together. It took ten minutes for your chiral printer to fabricate the design; unfortunately attaching it to Higgs’ hand obviously caused him a lot of pain as he screamed so loud you swore it almost ruptured your eardrums.

„I’m sorry,” you said, placing a hand on his forehead and noticing he was burning up. „It’s okay now. I’m so sorry. I’ll give you something for the pain and some antibiotics soon. Just stay with me, okay?”

„Okay,” he said weekly, looking straight into your eyes. „O… kay.”

There were tears running down the sides of his face. You used your thumbs to wipe them away, suddenly feeling this weird sensation in your throat. Compassion? Hurt? You had no idea. The only thing you did know was that you couldn’t bear the pain so obvious in his gaze, burning through you with intensity you have never experienced before.

You were not going to let him die.

You prepared an IV that was supposed to help him both with the pain and the fever, carefully tapping into one of his veins. When you were done you went through his entire body, checking for additional injuries, luckily not finding anything life-threatening. You could tell some of his ribs were broken though. Unfortunately you didn’t have any equipment to perform a scan, so you quickly placed an order for the Doctor to send you one. And then, four hours later, you were done.

Exhausted and covered in blood, but fucking done.

You sat down on the bed next to Higgs, not even trying to stop the tears from falling anymore. It could have been the chiral allergy for all you knew, or the exhaustion. Or the overflowing feelings you didn’t know how to deal with. You used the back of your hands to wipe the dears away, only realizing that you just smeared blood on your entire face. Perfect. Just what you needed.

You moved a little closer to Higgs, taking a damp cloth and wiping the blood and sweat from his face. He still looked distressed, but at least he wasn’t that pale anymore.

„Y-you need to run,” he said, obviously still delirious, now probably even more due to the meds you had him on. „You need to go. If he finds you… h-he’s going to hurt you too…”

„It’s fine,” you said, pressing your hand to his forehead again. „Nobody’s here but us. You’re safe here. I got you.”

„N-no, you don’t understand,” it made your chest hurt seeing him in such distress. „We’re not allowed… to go outside, he will… kill me this time, he-”

„Nobody’s going to kill you, Higgs. You’re fine. You just need to rest.”

„B-but he will. He will, you have to make sure to hide the bruises… he hates them…”

You had no idea what he was talking about, but it did strange things to you. It made you feel sorry for him. You knew you shouldn’t have felt that way, but you couldn’t have helped it.

So you stood up and left the bedroom, deciding to take a shower and collect your thoughts.

It was going to be a long night.

***

You woke up because of the pain in your neck, trying to move your head to switch to a more comfortable position. It was only then that you realized you were actually sitting down on a chair, arms folded on the bed and your head resting on top of them. Great. As if the soreness wasn’t enough. Why were you here anyway?

The events of the night started coming back to you slowly just as you looked up to see Higgs laying on your bed, blood everywhere, discarded towels and fragments of clothing on the floor. You sighed. It was a hell of a battle. Probably the toughest you ever had to face.

Getting up and taking a better look at him, you were glad to see that he was no longer so pale and that even though his face was still covered with blood and dirt he actually looked peaceful. There was no additional swelling in his hand either. You sighed with relief as a temperature scan revealed that his fever was also going down. No longer running on adrenaline, you felt your stomach do a flip, reminding you that it was high time you ate something. You decided to leave Higgs in peace and went into the kitchen to grab some fruit.

You were tempted to call Heartman then, to talk to him and ask him for advice, but you didn’t want to put this kind of responsibility on him. He’s already done more than enough by keeping your little secret. You also noticed that the urgent order you placed with the Doctor has already arrived at your delivery terminal. Retrieving the package and using the scanner on Higgs immediately you were relieved to see that only two of his ribs were broken and than no organs were damaged. You allowed yourself a deep sigh of relief as you sat down on the bed.

Higgs was asleep. No longer unconscious, but asleep. The meds really did help his pain. His lips were slightly parted, blowing soft puffs of air with every rise and fall of his chest. Without thinking much, you reached out and nuzzled his cheek with the knuckles of your right hand. As soon as you realized what you were doing though you stood up, angry at yourself. You shouldn’t be touching him. You shouldn’t even be close to him before you get to know what’s going on.

You went into the bathroom to retrieve a cloth and a bowl of warm water, coming back to the bed to wash Higgs a little more thoroughly. It was strange to still remember so vividly how he did the exact same thing for you not so long ago. The only difference was that he was in a much worse shape.

When you were done with the washing you gathered the bloody towels, brought back a new pillow and covered Higgs with an additional blanket. Seeing as there was not much more you could have done, you decided to get back to work and just let him rest.

Except there was no way for you to focus right now. Every single time you tried to go back to your research you would find your mind wandering, thinking about the man in your bedroom and about what he said during the night. He was obviously talking about a very specific person that he was sure was going to hurt him. At the beginning he mentioned daddy. Was he really that afraid of his father or was it something he was just remembering? And if it was just memories, why now?

So many questions and not a single answer. You groaned, burying your face in your hands, massaging your forehead. You had no idea what to do. For the first time in your life. It felt like something was happening that was entirely out of control and you hated this type of situations. The worst thing was that you felt like you couldn’t really talk to anyone about it or even ask someone for support. How were you supposed to take care of man who has nearly died? You did have some medical knowledge, yes, but definitely not to that extent. So you decided to just browse through the chiral network to try and find some useful information. Writing down notes and going through some documents from the Doctor, you ultimately didn’t realize how much time has passed when you were done.

You went back to the bedroom to check on Higgs. He was still asleep, looking a lot more comfortable than earlier. You replaced his IV, checked his temperature and sat on the bed again.

Looking at his peaceful expression made you feel uncomfortable. You couldn’t really pinpoint the reason why. You heard so many awful things about this man and yet here he was, looking so… human. You figured Heartman’s theory might have been correct. If he let anyone do this to him, he must’ve been unable to fight back. Maybe he really did lose his powers.

You noticed him stir, murmuring something under his breath. When his eyes opened and he focused his gaze on you, you instinctively tried reassuring him with a smile. He looked so lost and confused that for a while you thought he might not even know where he was.

„Wh…,” he tried to speak, but you hushed him by placing your hand on his cheek.

„Don’t talk,” you said, surprised with the hoarseness of your own voice. „You’re safe. And you’re going to be okay. Just take it easy.”

He blinked a few times, looking around the room. Apparently it was all coming back to him now that he was awake.

„I, uh…”

„You’re in my bedroom, Higgs. I took care of your wounds, so you can say that we’re square now. Do you want something to drink?”

That was when he realized your hand was still on his cheek. He leaned into it gently, closing his eyes and nodding.

„Y… yes.”

„I’ll be right back.”

He must have been both hungry and thirsty at the same time, so you figured water might not be the best choice. Instead you warmed up some almond milk to make sure it would be good for his stomach and at least a little nutritious. You brought a mug back to the bedroom and helped him up a little, adjusting a metal straw just so he could drink comfortably. He drank greedily but you took it as a good sign. Obviously his stomach was able to take it too.

„Thank you,” he said when he was done as you placed the mug on a table behind you. „I… I probably would’ve been dead now if it wasn’t for you.”

„It’s possible,” you said, wiping his mouth with your sleeve. „I’d say you were pretty close. Can you tell me what happened? Who did this to you?”

Higgs sighed, obviously trying to collect his thoughts.

„The MULEs,” he said after a while. „I think they heard that I could no longer use my powers to the extent that I would have liked and decided to, well… set some things straight. Let’s just say that it wasn’t the most pleasant encounter in my life.”

He snorted with something that was probably supposed to be a laugh but went into a coughing fit seconds later. You held him up, placing one hand on the back of his head.

„Believe it or not, but I could tell. How did you manage to escape?”

„Coincidence. A porter was driving through the area and those idiots left me alone to try and get him. So i used the very last ounce of power I still had in me to teleport away from there. Unfortunately, it made me too weak to even be able to walk, but I managed to crawl my way to safety. And then I got here. I figured… if anyone…”

You were waiting for him to finish the sentence, but he never did. So you brought some more warm almond milk from the kitchen and sat next to him again, allowing him to drink at his own pace.

„You figured I would help you,” you said, holding the mug close to his face. „And you were right.”

„I guess I was.”

Silence fell between the two of you, interrupted only by the sound of him swallowing mouthfuls of liquid from the mug.

„So is it true? Did you really lose your powers?”

When he was done drinking he laid back on the bed and sighed.

„It is and then it isn’t. I mean, you see the state I’m in. But on the other hand, I didn’t lose the power itself. I was just cut from the source.”

So Heartman was right, you thought.

„The source being Amelie?”

„Precisely. That pretentious bitch used me and then just threw me away when she no longer needed me. I guess I deserved it though. I wasn’t exactly the kindest person, you know.”

„So it was her pulling all the strings? Fording you to do these things?”

„You can say that,” he sighed again, this time deeper. „She was smart about choosing her minions. I guess that’s what happens when you give unlimited power to someone who’s never had any his entire life.”

So that’s what it was about? Trying to make up for helplessness and the inability to control your own life? You didn’t want to jump to any conclusions yet, but it did seem awfully possible. Especially knowing about Amelie’s role in all of this.

„Alright,” you said, desperate for some answers but not really wanting to exhaust the man any further. „Let me see if your fever has gone down.”

You reached out with your hand to place it on his forehead and something unexpected happened. He flinched. Flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to move away from you. It was just two seconds altogether, but even though you were puzzled at first it ultimately made so much sense. Especially in connection to what he has been saying.

„I’m not going to hurt you,” you said, trying to sound calm. „I just want to touch your forehead. Can I do that?”

Obviously surprised with his own reaction he nodded, eyes wide open and fixated on you. You tried not to think about it too much even though your thoughts were racing.

You only noticed how tense he was when you finally placed the hand on his forehead and felt his body relax under your touch.

„Sorry,” he whispered, flashing you a toothy grin. „Old habits die hard, I guess.”

You didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to ask.

But the pain in your chest was not getting any better.

You eventually did place the hand on his forehead and noticed with relief that he no longer had a fever. Still, what happened shook you up a little and you decided to just leave him alone for a while. You sat down in your study and noticed a message from Heartman with a few files attached.

I just got this from Sam, it said. I think you should see this.

Attached were twenty six parts of what you immediately recognized to be Higgs’ journal.

***

You spent the next few days basically walking on eggshells. You had no idea how to confront Higgs about what you read, especially remembering how angry he got when you read that single entry over a month ago. On the other hand, you couldn’t pretend that you didn’t know. You were such a bad liar. So you kept telling yourself that you were just going to wait for the right moment.

Luckily Higgs was feeling better with every passing day. After a little more than a week he was able to get up from the bed and walk around the shelter on his own. You were also able to remove the stitches from the wounds you sutured and to adjust the cast for better healing of his bones. He was also finally able to eat solid food, eagerly waiting for every single dish you would whip up for him.

One day you decided to make something sweet and maybe get him to talk a little more. You baked a simple cheesecake and brought it into the living room where Higgs was laying on the couch. He sent a puzzled look your way, eyeing the tray you were carrying with curiosity.

„Why does this smell so nice?” He asked, sitting up immediately.

„It’s a cake. They always smell nice.”

„A cake?!”

The excitement in his voice both surprised and amused you. You set the tray down on the table and watched him devour the cheesecake piece by piece. You had to snatch a piece for yourself to even be able to try it at all.

When he was finally done you saw him relax back into the couch, blissful expression on his face as he wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand. You sat back too, figuring it might indeed be a good moment to start a conversation.

„So Higgs,” you started, eyeing his face carefully for any signs of discomfort. „What wre you going to do now?”

He sat up a little, making sure to keep eye contact.

„I have no idea, darling. Honestly, I’m surprised I’m still alive. So many people out to get me and it was the MULEs who did it first? I’m pretty sure BRIDGES is going to hunt me down as soon as I step out of this shelter, especially since my powers are, well, useless. And it’s not like I can just stay here forever, no matter how charming you find me, right?”

You sighed. It wasn’t going to be easy.

„If you could go anywhere and do anything, what would you do?”

You noticed a shift in his attitude. He couldn’t deflect all your questions with his weird sense of humor.

„Well, I would probably go somewhere far away, maybe even beyond the mountains, and just stay there until the rest of my days. In fact, I was trying to do just that before the MULEs stopped me. I’ve learned my lesson, you know.”

„What lesson?”

„Wherever I go, destruction follows, even if I don’t really want it to happen. You know it well enough, sweetheart. And I would hate it if anything happened to you.”

„Me? Why is that?”

„You’re probably the only person ever who was nice to me. Hell, you saved my life. Although maybe it would be better if I was gone, you know. I don’t really want to die, no, but I figured just leaving would do the trick. Only it’s not going to be as easy as I initially thought.”

You felt a sting in your heart at these words. And then you remembered what you read in the journals. He never really had anyone. Or anything, for that matter.

„Why did you do it?”

„Did what?”

„All those things to all those people. You know, with nukes and Homo Demens at your disposal.”

He sighed. It was a heavy sigh, one that you could almost feel the weight of in your own chest.

„I thought it would be the only way for me to have something, you know. I had all these followers, I had this power. I never felt so… alive. And Amelie, this fucking bitch, she knew exactly what buttons to press. She promised me so many things and I fell for it like a kid who just got offered candy. She promised I would be important, respected. Feared. And I was, but so what? It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter at all.”

You moved a little closer to him, trying to make sure that he could look you right in the eyes when you started talking.

„I understand you did things you’re not proud of,” you said, making sure to choose words carefully. „But it’s not too late, you know.”

„Yeah right. Try telling that to BRIDGES.”

„I just might. But I need to know what your plans are. It seems to me like you didn’t really want to do any of these things.”

„Of course I didn’t!” you could clearly hear anger in his voice. „I just… I thought it might be the only way for me to have something. To have her, I don’t know, someone who cared. That if I did what she said I might feel welcome. Or wanted. I know it was stupid, but there’s only so much one can take, right?!”

You did not expect those words to fall from his lips, but they hit you right when it hurt most. The constant need to be appreciated. To be praised by someone. To feel needed. You knew this feeling all too well, but you had people around you who were always eager to give you so much of it.

Judging from his words, he never had any in his entire life. No wonder he turned out to be so broken.

„I know, Higgs. I know,” you said, trying to make your voice sound as calm as possible. „I know exactly what you mean. It just seemed to me that you picked fear instead of respect out of worry that there was no other way.”

„Because there wasn’t. My own family hated me. My own father, well, uncle, do you know what he did to me? He kept me locked in a shelter for as long as I can remember, beating me up every single time I wanted to even take a look outside. He would beat me so badly that I could barely walk. How could there have been any other way?”

„I’m very sorry to hear that. It sounds terrible, and…”

„It was terrible. But then he died and I was finally able to leave the shelter, and you know what? I was happy. I was a porter, you know? And I loved this job. Except people were still afraid of me, high DOOMs levels and shit. So I figured, why change that? Why work my ass of to prove something they wouldn’t believe anyway? I should just find a way to be more powerful. But if you base everything you are on power, what do you have left when it’s gone? Nothing. You’re suddenly left with nothing, no fear, no respect. Nobody would even care if you’re gone. Just like I never cared about my father. Just like I felt relieved when he died, everybody else would if I did.”

„That’s not true.”

„What can you know? You sit here in your fancy shelter, do your fancy work with your fancy friends. I bet you’ll all be drinking tea soon, talking about stupid Higgs who finally got what he deserved, and…”

You felt anger rising within you this time.

„Shut up! You know nothing about my life. And I care about you, okay? That’s why I brought you in. I could’ve just left you outside to die and then take you to an incinerator, but I didn’t. Not because I owed you one, but because I cared, okay?! Because I don’t believe you’re as shit as you want everyone to believe! I figured you had more in you. And I’m pretty sure I was correct.”

He opened his eyes wide, looking at you with disbelief.

„You… what?!”

„I know a broken man when I see one. And yes, you are a little shit, but it’s no wonder considering what kind of childhood you had. So maybe try and be nice for once.”

„I’m always nice!”

„Oh, come on. I knew you weren’t the monster everyone’s picturing you to be. You saved me from the MULEs, for fucks’ sake. You could’ve left me there and just taken my cufflink to navigate you here, but you didn’t. And you fucking nursed me back to health. You may be an idiot, yes, an idiot with really bad manners. But I’m pretty sure you have it in you to be a little… I don’t know, more likable?”

Higgs shrugged, obviously uncomfortable, but that was good. At least he was listening.

„I’m not heartless, you know?” He said, sending an accusatory gaze your way. „I just… I learned to not depend on other people. With you… I may be an idiot like you said, but I really do believe that you care about me.”

You rolled your eyes. This fucking guy.

„Well, it’s about time you did. I was really trying to make it clear.”

Was he… was he smiling?

„You’re right. I’m sorry. I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me. Hell, nobody has ever done even half of what you did for me. But I… I don’t have anything to give you in return.”

„I didn’t do this to get something in return, Higgs.”

„Then why? Why did you help me?”

He surprised you with this question. You didn’t really know what to say because you didn’t really know the reason why yourself.

„I don’t know.”

„And you’re saying I’m the broken one.”

You reached for one of the pillows and threw it his way without even thinking about it. He chuckled and caught it with his left hand with no effort whatsoever.

„I just…” you said, still baffled. „I just didn’t want you to be alone.”

„I never wanted to be alone either. Look where it got me.”

You made up your mind then. Sitting up, you gestured with your hands, getting more comfortable on the couch.

„Come here,” you said, trying to encourage him.

„Where?”

„Here. I’m not going to hurt you. I want to hug you.”

He was obviously surprised with what you said, but moved forward nonetheless. Kneeling between your legs he slowly lowered his body into your welcoming embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist. He looked up at you then, head resting on your chest as you tangled one of your hands into his hair and placed the other on the small of his back. You could feel a shiver running down his spine, a shiver he was not even trying to hide.

He eased into you then, muscles suddenly relaxing and giving in to your touch. His left hand pressed softly into your back, pulling on the fabric of your shirt. You lowered your head and buried your face in his hair, nuzzling the skin there with your nose.

It felt good. It felt safe.

„So this is what it feels like,” he said softly, his voice bringing you back to reality.

„Depends,” you answered, smiling. „But yes, it’s usually very nice.”

He shifted a little, moving his head so that his face was resting in the crook of your neck. You felt his warm breath against your skin.

„I’ve never… been that close with anyone,” there was a strange tone to his voice; something you couldn’t really pinpoint. „It feels… strange.”

„We can stop if you’d like.”

„No. Please.”

The last sentence came out a little desperate, raspy, almost as if he was actually scared you would push him away. But you weren’t going to. This has already gone too far and you were not going to back away now.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed you. And that you needed him, even if you couldn’t understand it yet.

So you brought him even closer, hand still in his hair, lips pressing against his ear.

„I’m here,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. „I’m here and I’ll take care of you.”

He moved then, moved his head to look you straight in the eyes. You almost felt you head spin from the intensity of his gaze. He placed his forehead against yours, nuzzling your nose with his.

„You will?”

„I promise.”

When he pressed his lips against yours you weren’t sure he knew exactly what he was doing, but you welcomed him, welcomed his gesture and welcomed his trust. Biting his lower lip you made him open his mouth, sliding your tongue against his. He moaned then, not even trying to hide it, letting you do whatever you please and pressing into you even more, shifting a little to get more comfortable. He reached out to bury his hand in your hair too, pulling you closer, resting his weight on you even more.

That’s when you noticed he was painfully hard.

„Higgs,” you whispered right into his mouth. „Take it easy, slow down-”

„No, please,” he was begging again, whispering right into your mouth. „Please don’t stop. You feel so good.”

As messy as your kisses were, you had to admit they did have a powerful effect on you too. You couldn’t remember when was the last time someone kissed you. But this? You wanted this, you wanted it more than anything in the world right now. You wanted him any way he would allow.

But today was about Higgs and his comfort. About making him feel good. After all, you did make a promise. Might start taking care of him now.

Not breaking the kiss, you reached down between your bodies to slide his pants down. He moaned into your mouth again, biting your lower lip, chasing every sound you were making with his tongue.

„Higgs-” you wanted to ask for permission, to warn him, but he didn’t even let you.

„Pleasepleaseplease don’t stop, oh please… oh fuck!”

Your hand slid behind the waistband of his pants and grabbed him hard, moving agonizingly slow from head to base. He was a mess in your hands, the words he was saying to longer intelligible.

„I’m here,” you whispered, biting his lower lip. „You’re safe here. I got you.”

He came hard then, your name on his lips followed by a string of yeses and ohs. You held him through it, not letting his lips go even for a second. The look on his face was so blissful, so sweet you felt another violent pull in your heart.

This time though it was an entirely different type of feeling.

He collapsed onto you, once again burying his face in the crook of your neck. You kissed the top of his head, removing your hand from where it was sandwiched between your bodies. You wiped it on one of the pillows, making a mental note to take care of it later. The only other thing you managed to do was reach for a blanket and pull it over the both of you, earning a content sigh from Higgs.

„That was… so good,” he said, voice still shaky, mumbling against your skin.

„Yes it was,” you smiled, nuzzling his hair with your nose. „We’re in this together, Higgs. We’ll find a way to get through this.”

„I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you,” he said after a while. „As I said, I’m bad luck. Really bad luck. But I… I also don’t want to be away from you.”

„I understand. We’ll figure something out.”

„We will.��

„That’s what I just said.”

„I know, it’s just… it feels so good to say we and mean… me and you.”

You smiled again. He could be nice sometimes.

„Yes. Me and you.”

#death stranding #death stranding imagine #death stranding x reader #death stranding fanfiction #higgs x reader #higgs monaghan x reader

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