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thepaperpanda · 3 years

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DEATH STRANDING CHRISTMAS

Summary: It's Christmas time and love is in the air. What will happen when everyone will be reunited that day?

Warnings: None

Words: 6637

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your holiday can hold!

Allured by the peace and quietness and the scent of freshly baked Christmas cake coming from a canteen, you took your lingering gaze off of the enormous Christmas tree adorned with glistening ornaments and glowing fairy lights draped around it that stood in the middle of the huge chamber that was usually serving as a dayroom.

As the evening sky faded away, the pink and orange hues were replaced with dark shades of blue.

The festively designed decorations, illuminated with blinking Christmas lights, vibrant ornaments and brightly colored signs, were lined up along either side of the corridor.

As you entered the canteen, the loud, spirited laughter of people could be heard over the continuous chatter surrounding the vivacious atmosphere; it brought a wide smile to your lips.

It's been a great time without Christmas, and you truly couldn't understand how it was possible that no one has ever tried to bring the magnificent spirit of Christmas back.

This year it'll be different, you told yourself half a month prior when you visited Die-Hardman with a plan for Christmas arrangements.

In the canteen you made sure that everything was going well.

There it was, as clear as the sky on a scorching summer day, that particular aroma, that perfect blend of spicy and sweet - gingerbreads were baked.

Die-Hardman stepped into the canteen as well, he wore his best suit and tie; he looked as festive as if this were a normal family reunion. "Y/N," he nodded at you a little. "As I can see, everything's in place, my sincere congratulations, the truth is I didn't think you'll be able to set all this."

With a grin playing in the corners of your lips you gave the bid back. "Yes, sir, apparently I made everything, with the little help of Sam who, just between us, wasn't a fan of the idea though."

"Little help? I had to bring the whole tree in, you think it was easy?," Sam walked in looking up at the Christmas tree, while holding his BB pod. "Not to mention I had to run to get all of the trinkets you placed on that poor tree. What is it for anyway?"

"Y/N found old records about Christmas. She decided to organize some on her own, for us all," Dead man explained. "I think she did it nicely. Like in some old photos."

"Yeah, sure." Sam muttered. "At least it looks like Lou likes it."

"Of course I did nicely! I did my best!," You claimed happily and Die-Hardman chuckled deeply.

"So... You did all of that for five of us? Kinda excessive if you ask me," Sam said and walked closer to the tree to show colorful light to Lou.

"Not only for five, there will be more. That's what Y/N promised, isn't it Y/N?," Deadman said looking at you.

You nodded and walked to him. He wore a sweatshirt with reindeer dressed in a Christmas hat. "Correct. Also let me tell ya that I love your sweatshirt!"

Die-Hardman led everyone closer to the Christmas tree. "Okay, I hope that rest will join us…” His sentence was cut off by Cliff who appeared out of nowhere.

He was having a red hat with pompom and was dressed like Santa Claus. "Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas everyone! Hope I didn't get late! My men, it took them too much time to get dressed properly!," He chuckled and few of his comrades appeared right behind him. This time they weren't having rifles with them but a lot of bags with presents wrapped in colorful paper.

Sam blinked a few times, he turned to you. "How... How did you do that?," He asked quietly.

"We are here finally!," Mama said happily as she and Lockne joined the party. Both sisters dressed in colors perfect for christmas. "Mama couldn't find her glasses," Lockne added.

You hugged them both. "It's so good to see you again!," You claimed and clapped your hands.

Soon, there was a cracking sound and Amelie joined you. As always she wore a red, fitted dress and she was holding a few packages in her hands. She put them under the Christmas tree and gave a smile to Sam. "Merry Christmas, Sam. Merry Christmas to everyone!"

Sam gave a flat smile and nodded. "Merry Christmas, Amelie," he said, turning Lou to all the guests. "Look how many people are here."

Another cracking sound filled the room and Fragile showed up. "Merry Christmas to everyone?"

"It looks like your plan worked out perfectly, Y/N. How did you do that?," Deadman asked. "It's a lot of people in one place."

"I messaged everyone, and if it comes to Amelie, let's just skip this though," you chuckled. "I asked them to come, and I told them that we can't simply give upon our traditions just because Death Stranding is on. They agreed," you replied.

After a few minutes the door to the dayroom slid open and Heartman entered with dancing moves. "Hey, guys! Oh, Mama! Good to see you! Magnificent! Wow! You also have a Christmas tree! And decorations! Hmm, am I correct?! Is this true?! Do I sense gingerbreads?!," He almost sang.

"Someone had too much Christmas, maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull him out of the lab... His heart... Ya know the deal, right?," Sam asked you quietly with a frown.

"Sam grumpy as ever," Fragile said, walking up to the two of you. "This was an amazing idea Y/N. Oh! Sam I have gift for little one."

Sam raised his eyebrow and handed the pod to Fragile. "Hi there, Lou. Merry Christmas," she said before pulling out a little sweater and putting it around the pod. "Oh! Look at this!"

"Lou looks like a little candy! How cute is that!," You clapped hands and walked to Heartman to place a brief kiss to his cheek as a greeting. "Hey there handsome, I'm so glad you've accepted my invitation."

"How could I not?," he chuckled. "For this special occasion I turned the AED off."

"Let's just hope he won't suddenly drop dead during the supper... Or whatever Y/N prepared," Sam said and looked at the pod in Fragile hands.

She only giggled and raised the pod. "Cliff! What do you think? It's cute, right?"

Both Mama and Lockne let out a loud aww sound at the sight of BB wearing the sweater.

"So Y/N. You are the head of this whole thing. What should we do now, the truth is not everyone knows what to do during Christmas," Deadman said, looking around.

Cliff approached Fragile who held Lou and tapped the glass with his finger. "Hey, BB, you're the cutest BB of all time!"

"Okay, guys!," You whistled loudly to get their attention. "First, I want to say something," you announced happily. "I'm so glad to see you all here, in this place. It has a very symbolic meaning to me, we're one, just like our beautiful country will be when Sam will finish connecting all cities to the chiral network," you smiled at them, tugging on the dress you wore. "It means a lot as we all are one. We are one in our mutual experiences, in our closeness and understanding..."

You slipped your glance along everyone in the room. "Merry Christmas! You can have a snack, they're on the table," you nodded in the direction of the table where a lot of dishes were awaiting to be consumed, including huge roasted turkey. "Later, after dinner, we will have a very important encounter with Santa Claus!," You winked at Cliff who nodded slightly.

A loud cracking sound filled the room. "HELLO THERE BRIDGES! Merry fucking Christmas, guys!," Higgs yelled loudly, not bothered by all the looks he got. "Why do you look at me like that? Oh yes, yes, I know. I should bring a gift but I didn't have enough parts to build another nuke," he rolled his eyes, waving his hand around.

You shook your head as Heartman instinctively shielded you with his body. "Who is he?," You asked with curiosity in your tone.

"That's Higgs. The man who blew a few cities out of America's map," Heartman informed you quietly.

Amelie put hands to her hips. "I wasn't aware you're going to be here as well, Higgs," she almost snorted.

Die-Hardman gave the newcomer a mean glance. "Seriously? Even on such a day you need to destroy everything?"

Meantime, your glance was still on the man in the hood.

"Wooooooow, I feel so welcomed here," Higgs said, removing his hood off his head. "I destroy stuff, it's just my thing but I see something else I can destroy."

Higgs suddenly vanished and then appeared right behind you.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here? Thanks, heartboy," he said picking you up to take a look at you. "Ain't ya a beauty that is worth to be taken under the mistletoe?"

Sam facepalmed. "There is no day with break."

You blinked but being taken completely aback by stranger's action, you had to wrap arms around his neck to support yourself. "Uhm, hi there, sir. Can you consider putting me down though? I feel pretty intimidated," you whispered, your eyes fixed on his, and dear Beach, his eyes were so magnetising!

Amelie sighed. "It's Christmas after all, guys. I think we should let him stay. In such a time no one should be alone."

Die-Hardman agreed with the lady in red. "Amelie's right."

Sam blinked. "Seriously? He nuked two cities and planned to nuke the third one. “You can't be serious!"

Higgs giggled, patting your hips. "Being intimidating is my second name, sugar," he pretended to think about your request. "Well I don't know. I love little sweet girls like you, maybe I will take you as my gift."

"To be fair, director, Higgs is a highly dangerous man. He proved this many times," Deadman added.

"I like this guy. He makes me blush," Higgs said and then looked at you. "I think I may have a gift for you, sugar,” he added before giving you a golden mask.

You took it in hand and fitted it to your face. "Gangsta!," You chuckled and ran to the nearest mirror to have a look. "Ha! This is so cool!"

You waited for him to approach you. "My name's Y/N. And you're Higgs, that's what Heartman told me."

Heartman looked after you and blinked. "She's impossible. Jumping like a puppy but this is what happens when a young girl is alone for too long, am I right, Mama?"

Amelie walked to Deadman and put hand on his shoulder. "Trust me. I know what he did but maybe by showing him kindness we'll get more than by following his game."

Die-Hardman cleared his throat. "Okay. Let's take the seats and have a meal. This is a special day, everyone deserves kindness, just like Amelie said."

Cliff took BB from Sam and set it on the chair right next to him. "Can someone pass me the knife? I forgot my army knife and someone has to cut the turkey!"

BB rolled in the pod and giggled waving at Sam.

Mama and her sister frowned looking at Heartman.

"What was that supposed to mean?," Mama asked, offended.

"Yes, what was that supposed to mean?," Lockne repeated after her sister.

Deadman nodded at Amelie's comment. "Maybe you are right."

"Oh! I have a knife, army-man!," Higgs said loudly, presenting his own knife. "I never leave it. Maybe you should learn this too," he chuckled before being pulled away by Fragile.

"You better behave if you want to stay here. Be normal for one single day," she growled and Higgs nodded. "Okay! Okay! Noted! I wouldn't dear to fuck up Y/N's day. I bet she worked her ass off for all of this."

You took your seat at the table, right between Sam and Fragile.

Cliff took the golden knife from Higgs' hands, offering the tall man a suspicious glance. "I hope you're not the guy who's bothering my son and Lou. Otherwise, I'd have to kill you," he informed with a cold grimace in his face which quickly vanished and was replaced by a grin. "Okay! Who wants the chicken?! Hey!," He got up and glanced at his comrades who were trying to sneak to the tree and gifts located under. "Behave! Get back to the table! No turkey, no presents! For fuck's sake, I asked you all to behave! How many times did we train the entire thing?!"

One of the army men quickly got back to the table. "Uhm, few," he admitted and took the helmet off, placing it on the polished floor.

"And what did I say?," Cliff asked while cutting the turkey.

"We get in, we greet living beings, we have a meal, we behave, we get presents and we have a party."

Heartman laughed loudly. "Cliff, I have to say you're having a huge authority among them. What a situation!"

Amelie offered everyone a grin. "Does anyone want some potatoes?"

Higgs sat right next to Sam and gave Cliff an innocent smile.

"Oh no, Mr Sam's dad. I am a good boy, my twin brother bothers Sam. Besides, Sam bothers me too! He keeps destroying my plans! And BTs!," He whimpered dramatically.

Sam only rolled his eyes and moved a little closer to you to get away from the terrorist.

"I’ve seen them before yet they still freak the fuck out of me," he whispered to you, looking at the soldiers.

"I can say the same…," Fragile said quietly

"I am so surprised they are so…," Mama said, thinking about the right word.

"Obedient," Lockne added quickly. “We expected them to be... How to name it?"

"Creatures of chaos," Mama finished.

You smiled at Sam and quickly turned head to face Lockne and Mama. "It's called discipline, right, Mr Unger?"

Cliff offered you a bright grin. "The girl's smart. I like her. If my son wouldn't have this phobia of his, I bet he would take a chance on you."

BB rolled in the pod.

Amelie chuckled and covered her lips with a curled hand. "Actually, Cliff, Sam would be her father if he made an effort..."

Heartman laughed loudly before he stopped his outburst, he also raised his thumb up. "And 20 likes go to Lady Strand! What a beautiful, honest summary!"

Higgs laughed and patted Sam's back. "Well! Ya know guys, some men like younger girls. Honestly I would love to get Y/N in my hands. To pin her down and just…," Higgs didn't finish his sentence because he got smacked on the back of the head by Fragile.

"Behave," she growled after getting back in her seat.

"To be fair, since we got on that topic. I don't think the age difference should be a taboo any longer," Deadman said before digging into his meal. "World is shattered, we should do what we can to make sure humanity doesn't die. Of course while keeping some moral boundaries."

"Do we really have to talk about such stuff now?," Sam groaned, rolling his eyes. "I don't like this topic."

"Oh, why? Because you can't get laid, Sammy boy?," Higgs almost sang, teasing Sam.

Cliff rose from his seat and threw a glance to Higgs who quickly shut his mouth. "That's way better," Cliff said and pretended that he rose only to get the corn salad.

Die-Hardman took his mask off and started eating the turkey that Cliff handled to him. "I need to agree with Deadman. Humanity is on the edge of destruction and extinction..."

"... Thanks to terrorists like Higgs," Heartman added, his eyes fixed on the uninvited guest.

"That's not what I meant... However you're not wrong on this," Die-Hardman agreed. "What I meant is that we should take care of reproduction, to make sure that the human race will survive and will be able to rebuild our world. To make it great again."

You blushed hearing Higgs' words about him liking younger girls, so to hide it you grabbed the glass and drank the wine that was poured by Mama.

Amelie nodded as she was cutting her piece of turkey into little slices. "We all are sober yet the topics are getting interesting already. I'm curious what will be next."

BB swam a little and moved closer to Sam.

"Oh, BB, granddaddy is here too, look, look," Clifford waved hand to get Lou's attention and then he put the Santa Claus hat on, playing with the pompon. "Look, little one! Granddad is Santa Claus!"

"To be fair, Y/N and Sam would look cute together. Imagine the cute kids they would have!" Mama said excited and Lockne nodded eagerly. "I want to be an aunt!"

Fragile noticed your red face and smiled gently rubbing your shoulder. "It's okay Y/N. Family is like this. They will talk and then they will stop."

Higgs frowned looking at Heartman. "Hey! Heart boy! I don't see the world getting better thanks to science boys like you," he growled resting his elbow on Sam's shoulder.

Sam quickly pushed it off his shoulder with an annoyed sound.

Higgs rolled his eyes before digging into his food. "Oh, fucking shit! This shit is good! Fucking better than a pizza! Oh! By the way, Sam! Lately you started to bring it cold. I don't like it."

Sam let out a loud sigh. "Then start to move your ass. You can jump and grab it yourself."

"Naaah! Making you visit me is more fun!," Higgs giggled.

You were covered in a blush after Mama and Lockne's words. You tugged on Sam's sleeve. "I swear, this is my first and last Christmas Eve ever."

You also giggled hearing complaints made by Higgs.

Heartman got up to get another piece of mashed potatoes. "To your information, Higgs, we build, not destroy, and that's the difference you'll never understand, you little devil's spawn."

Clifford clapped his hands. "Come on, guys, eat, eat or we won't get to presents this year!"

Die-Hardman smiled at his friend. "It's good to see you among us, Clifford."

Unger grinned and turned head to you. "Hey, Y/N, what drinks do we have except wine? I don't say it's bad but as for a real man, like me or my son, we could have something stronger. Cognac or whiskey."

Heartman chuckled. "You can always get Monster with vodka. Pretty dangerous mix but tasty. Tried a few times."

Sam chuckled at your comment. "At least next year I will have less work to do," he joked.

"Now I know why your heart is so fucked up. Since you drink such a mixes," Higgs commented before licking his plate completely clean. "I ask for more!"

Lockne, Mama and Fragile followed Cliff's order and started to eat as well.

"Well... For me some beer is enough," Sam said checking on Lou.

"I'll go get the drinks," you offered and politely excused yourself before getting off the table.

Heartman quickly got up too. "I'll help Y/N."

Amelie offered mashed potatoes to Higgs. "You're pretty hungry, aren't you?"

"Hell fucking yeah I am! Sitting in the bunker or camp and eating cold pizza ain't easy, sweetheart," Highs nodded and started to eat as soon as he got more food on his plate.

"Such a diet isn't good. You should eat more healthy stuff," Deadman said.

Higgs only shrugged, being too busy with his food.

Fragile sighed and shook her head. "No manners. You should spend some time with Clif to learn something, Higgs."

"Oh, I'd gladly train you, young man," Clifford said. "With me above you, you'd be running smoothly."

"I'm sorry, I know that thing I'll say is totally wrong but I imagined some other things, Clifford. With Monaghan beneath... Oh, dear God, forgive me for I have sinned," Heartman added before he left the room with you.

Die-Hardman spat himself with the wine he was drinking.

BB started chuckling.

Amelie blinked and facepalmed. "Maybe extinction is not a bad idea?"

Meantime, you and Heartman were in the pantry, collecting bottles of alcohol and cans of Monster and beer.

"I think that this little party is great, Y/N," Heartman stated. "Thank you for this opportunity of having some substitute for normal life, it's been a while since I felt truly happy," his voice broke a little, so you put the bottle of Jack Daniels and simply gave him a bear hug.

Sam choked on his food.

Mama and Lockne laughed loudly. "Not to offend anyone, that would be something nice to watch," Lockne said with a giggle.

Higgs hummed. "Sorry, ladies! I am more of a top but if any of you are interested, I am single as a pringle and ready to mingle. Just I am not into man, sorry, Mr Sam's papa."

Sam blinked, taking in what just happened and after a moment he groaned. It was a bit too much for him.

Soon, you and Heartman returned. You walked to Cliff and handed him a bottle of whiskey.

Heartman poured some vodka to everyone who wanted and handled Sam a can of beer.

"So, Y/N, are you enjoying the fest you threw?," Amelie asked with her soft glance on you.

"Yes, I do, even if I cringe from time to time, I think it's cute to have you all in one place."

You then turned to Fragile. "Hey, do you know something more about that Higgs guy who got here on blackballed? I need to think about something for him. I prepared gifts for everyone but him. I didn't expect anyone else to join," you whispered leaning to the woman.

Die-Hardman looked at Mama. "How is your research? Did you fix Sam's qupid?"

Mama nodded. "We did actually. Everything should be more than good once he is out again."

"It wasn't a hard fix. Just a few updates and it's working perfectly again," Lockne said before taking a sip of her wine.

"Uuuu! Smart ladies! I like it!," Higgs nudged Sam with elbow. "I need to get to know them. Twins are like two in one deal!"

"I am not doing that," Sam muttered with a frown.

Fragile looked at you. "Oh trust me, I know him a bit too much. He shouldn't get a gift for being a bad person," Fragile stated quietly.

"Yeah, I understand, but it will be in a bad tone to not gift one person... Ok, I'll think of something."

An hour passed on many talks, the atmosphere was filled with laughter.

"Dears, did anyone see Cliff?," Die-Hardman asked as he spotted his friend was missing.

You also vanished from the room.

BB was already sleeping and Amelie was sitting with Heartman, chatting like there was no tomorrow.

"I think Y/N took him to the other room," Sam said, looking at sleeping Lou.

"Maybe she decided to extend the human kind with him!," Higgs said quickly. "Since his son didn't want her, daddy decided to try it. I can't blame her," he shrugged.

"Just shut your mouth, Higgs," Sam growled.

Higgs giggled and continued to drink his beer.

"Hey, wait a minute, Lockne and Mama are gone, too," Heartman said as he was pulled from deep conversation with Amelie.

"Foursome?," Higgs purred while Sam facepalmed together with Fragile.

"Y/N probably planned something special. She prepared Christmas in smaller details," Deadman nodded his head a little. "The food was great."

"That's true!," Sam added.

Suddenly, the music came out of speakers.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

"HO-HO-HO!," The main door slid open and Clifford dressed as Santa Claus entered the room. He was having a huge bag thrown over his shoulder, his hat with pompom was tilted slightly.

His four comrades were having reindeer hats on.

You, Lockne and Mama entered the room right behind him, all three of you dressed in white, short dresses with wings made of silky material and snowflake patterns on your dresses, rocking to the music.

"Come here, children! I hope you all were good for the last year, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford took a seat in a huge armchair you borrowed from Die-Hardman. "It's time for presents!"

"So maybe Lou first, he is the youngest one, huh? What do you say?," Sam said softly, tapping on the glass gently to wake up the BB.

"I can go a second round! I am the most important bad guy here," Higgs said full of pride.

"Today my little, beautiful helpers will set the order, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford laughed deeply.

In the tact of music, Mama danced toward Sam and picked the pod with Lou from him.

"So, young gentleman, I know you've been a good, little bean, so I need to get inside my bag of presents to get yours! Aha! I have it!," Clifford pulled a new pod out, with the ribbon wrapped around it. "More space for dance, huh?"

Meantime, the song ended and the next one was on.

I sing this song

To pass the time away

Driving in my car

Driving home for Christmas

"Deadman for sure will move you into it as soon as possible. You should like it," Mama said with a smile.

"And Now back to papa," Lockne took BB and his gift to bring them back to Sam.

"Me now!," Higgs got up from his place and sat on Cliff's laps.

"So! Mr Santa-Sam's dad, what do you have for me, huh?," He smiled. "I was the best fucking boy the whole year!"

Cliff gently nudged Higgs' side to make him get off his lap. Clifford rubbed his long, white, fake beard. "We all know you've been the baddest but thankfully the beautiful lady over there," he pointed at you, "decided that you also deserved the gift. Let me find it in my bag of miracles."

Clifford reached into his bag and pulled the nicely wrapped box, he handled it to Monaghan. "Merry fucking Christmas, asshole."

It was nothing but a book about Egyptian mythology and a handmade cloak that was originally meant to be for Heartman.

"Thank you fucking much!," Higgs said excited and quickly returned to his seat to look at the stuff he got. He already loved them.

"So? Who's next... Maybe our Director." Mama said and walked to Die-hardman. "C'mon. Everyone gets something today."

Die-Hardman chuckled but let the lady scientist lead him to Clifford.

"And you!," Fake Santa Claus said, "You've been good, too. Here's your gift, merry Christmas!"

Die-Hardman was gifted with the themed tie with reindeers and with a polishing paste.

"It's for your mask, so it will always look classy," you smiled at him and as he returned to his seat, you walked to Heartman and grabbed him by palm.

"Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas, Heartman!," Clifford grinned widely and gave the man a heart-shaped box, in which Heartman found a pair of gloves with heart motiv on each and a CD with classical music.

"Thank you, Y/N," he smiled brightly at you and kissed your cheek. "It's the best gift."

Sam looked at Fragile. "Go on. I am sure Santa also got something for you."

Woman nodded and got up from her seat to walk closer to Santa. "Well, I was a good girl. I think at least. I tried," Fragile said slowly.

"Dear Fragile, and your gift is in my bag, that's for sure! Just be patient as the old man will find it!," Clifford chuckled and soon gifted the woman with a new umbrella with Fragile logo.

Then it was time for Deadman who got new glasses.

Amelie was gifted with a golden necklace that fit her dress perfectly.

Lockne and Mama also got the present, it was a little blanket with an admixture of chiral matter. "This will help your sweet daughter to sleep in a cradle, she won't be drifting up under the ceiling," you smiled at them. "It was my project with Heartman's execution," you explained.

Clifford got new night-vision goggles.

In the end, Sam was gifted with a new suit.

Everyone was enjoying their gifts, talking about them and enjoying whatever time left.

"Y/N?," Sam looked at you. "What with your gift? Everyone got something and you?," He frowned.

"Yeah! Exactly! Where is the gift for our beautiful host?," Higgs looked at you over Sam's shoulder, he was already wearing the new cape.

"My gift is everywhere. It's the atmosphere you all created and this is more than I could dream about. My heart's beating faster when I see you enjoy the meals, the gifts," you smiled at Sam and Higgs.

Higgs sighed placing his chin on Sam's shoulder. "Isn't she adorable! But it's not fair. You did so much."

"I hate to say that but Higgs is right," Sam sighed.

"I need to agree with both of them. You did so much, in such a short time. You gathered all of us here," Deadman added. "Who else agree?"

All you could do was to smile at everyone. "I mean it, guys. I don't need gifts. You all are the greatest gift to me."

Heartman walked to you from behind. "We kinda predicted you will think of everyone but yourself. So here's the gift from us," he handed you a box.

Unwrapping it with shaking hands, you felt the heart racing in your chest. In the box you found a notebook in a leather cover and a few pencils.

"We've heard you like to draw," Die-Hardman smiled.

"Guys... Thank you! So much!!," You cried quietly while hugging the gift to your chest.

"We are in this together, Y/N. If everyone gets a gift it means you get one too," Sam shrugged Higgs off earning a groan from Monaghan.

Party continued.

People talked and laughed, simply enjoyed the company, while finishing whatever food left.

Die-Hardman was having so much fun that now he was dancing with Lockne to one of the christmas songs.

Higgs was sitting in his seat looking through the book you gave him. It's not like he had people to interact with here.

You definitely had too many drinks. After almost half an hour of dancing with Heartman, you had to rest at the table. You flopped on the first free seat which was the place next to America's most wanted terrorist. You clicked your high heels off and groaned. "How much I hate these shoes!," You muttered while stretching like a cat.

"Why did you put them on? If they are uncomfortable just never wear them again," Higgs shrugged. "End of the problem."

You blinked at the comment and chuckled. "Fair point though. You'll never understand this though as you're the man and I'm the woman. Our brains are different," you hiccuped.

"I know when to stop drinking. You'll never understand this though as you're the woman and I am the man. Our brains are different," He giggled, teasing you.

You laughed at his comment; this man was about to be a death of yours.

You got up from your chair and reached out to him. "Hey, vamos a bailar!," You asked him with a little smile dancing in the corners of your mouth. "Pretty please?"

"No idea what you’ve just said but yea, sure, I agree on anything, sugar," Higgs said, returning a smile. "Lead the way."

You grabbed his palm firmly, without hesitation, and led him right into the dancefloor which was just the free space on the floor, next to the Christmas tree.

Heartman followed you with a frown. "I don't like it," he whispered to Fragile.

You climbed on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around a man's neck, both to get a bit intimidated and to support yourself from falling.

Fragile looked at you and Higgs, she shrugged.

"Since we have Death Stranding free day, let them enjoy it. After it's over, they will be mortal enemies again," she said and smiled. "Why? Are you jealous?"

Higgs chuckled. "Holy me, you are so small when I keep you close! I fucking love it."

Heartman blushed a little, rolled his eyes and lowered his thumb, taking 5 likes from Fragile before he moved aways with dancing moves, to join Mama.

You chuckled nervously at Higgs comment. "Thanks, I take it as a compliment," you simply rested your forehead against his chest.

She only laughed and nodded. "Thank you for confirming this, Heartman!," Fragile said a bit louder.

Higgs wrapped arms around your waist and nodded. "Oh yes, you indeed should take it as a compliment. Maybe I really should kidnap you as my christmas gift."

You giggled at his words while rocking into the rhythm of the music with him. "Maybe," you teased. "But I think that Sam and his dad would twist your neck after."

You suddenly raised a head to look at him, and you noticed a mistletoe above his head.

Higgs thought, looking at both men before his gaze returned to you. "Hmm... I honestly think it would be worth it," he noticed that you looked up and followed you. "Oh, fucking finally!,” Higgs said excited and pressed his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

You blinked when his lips crushed on yours but soon closed your eyes and enjoyed the kiss. You take the attempt to dominate him in the kiss but you fail so finally you give up your tries and simply wrap your arms around his neck.

Higgs pulled way after a moment and winked at you.

He reached up to take a small part of the mistletoe and then sneaked to Sam.

"Oh! Sammy boy!," Higgs sang.

Sam sighed deeply and turned to look at him. "What?," He frowned, seeing the mistletoe. "You kidding?"

Higgs gave him a wide smile and suddenly licked Sam's nose, making the other man froze.

Like nothing ever happened Higgs returned to you.

You started laughing hysterically which resulted in you losing the balance and almost falling on the floor, thankfully Higgs was faster and caught you in his arms.

Clifford spat all the whiskey he was about to swallow on Die-Hardman's shirt.

Heartman turned head around to see what happened but he lost his balance and fell on Lockne who spilled her wine right onto the electronic device on his chest.

Heartman's AED turned on and kicked him with an electric glitch, causing him to die on the spot.

"Higgs, you killed Heartman!," Amelie screamed.

"Nooot first and not the last death!" Higgs said with a shrug before kissing your lips quickly. "It's getting late and I have nukes to build! See you maybe next year!" He winked at you before vanishing.

As you lost Higgs as your frame, you fell right onto the floor and rolled on your back, still laughing.

"Or maybe not! It can wait!," Higgs said after returning. "Besides I didn't take my gifts."

"You really need to turn everything upside down?," Sam sighed, shaking his head.

"That's my job!," Higgs shrugged. "Who wants a drink?!"

You raised your hand up, still laying on the floor. You discovered it was a pretty comfortable place to rest. Or maybe you were just too drunk?

After 3 minutes another electric shock made Heartman's heart work properly again, and the man woke up, sitting on the floor. "What the fuck!"

Clifford was helping Die-Hardman to clean his shirt. "Monaghan! Stop being a douche-bag to everyone! If you won't listen, I'll have to shoot you," he warned, almost growling.

Amelie helped Heartman back on his feet. "You okay?"

"Yes, it's fine."

BB started crying.

Higgs quickly helped you up and smiled. "Oh, c'mon, Clifford! Everyone is well and alive. Even the heart boi. Practically, I did nothing wrong," he shrugged.

Sam let out a deep sigh. "It's Higgs after all. What else we can expect."

Higgs agreed with Sam, hugging you tightly.

You felt squeezed by his arms. "Can't... Breathe...," you whispered quietly hoping for him to lose his grasp.

Heartman smoothened his suit. "I almost forgot! I borrowed a camera from my friend's geologist. I want to take a picture of our pack, except you," he pointed his index finger at Higgs.

"Heartman, let him. He spent the entire evening with us, one photo won't affect anyone," Amelie nudged the man's chest.

"I fucking love photos!," Higgs jumped happily. "The host should have the honor of setting us for a photo!," He said excitedly.

You smiled at Higgs and squeezed his palm that you were still holding. "Okay, fellas. Clifford and Mama, you two go on left. Yes, just like that. Amelie, you with Fragile and Sam can take a seat on the couch."

"Sam, maybe you can be in the middle?," Amelie smiled at her stepbrother.

You pecked your lips as you were thinking. "Okay, Die-Hardman, would you be so kind to take a seat here, on the pouffe? Yes, just like that, thank you. Deadman, you can take our lovely Lou and stand next to the pouffe a little. Hmmm, and Heartman, my lovely friend, you can stand behind Die-Hardman. That's it! Perfect! Lockne, can you stand right next to your sister?"

Sam wasn't too happy he wasn't holding Lou but nodding he followed your little orders.

Mama and Lockne stood exactly where you wanted them, just like a Deadman.

"I see a perfect place for myself!," Higgs claimed excitedly and lied down on the floor. He turned on his side and propped up his head on a hand. "Perfect!"

You facepalmed a little but chuckled at the villain's idea. "Actually, you fit there perfectly, Higgs!"

You quickly set the camera on the shelf and made sure to turn the timer on, then you quickly ran to take a seat next to the Die-Hardman.

The flash lit the room and the picture was taken.

"Cool! Can I get one? I will have a nice souvenir from that nice day," Higgs asked from the floor. "I had so much fun!"

"Yes, of course you can!," You smiled at him and ran to the camera to set it again to take a second pic.

When the dawn was about to knock at the door, and when almost everyone was sleeping in weird positions where they could, you led Higgs to the exit. "I never thought I'd have so much fun with them all. And, though I didn't expect you, I'm grateful you came," you smiled at him and handled him his gifts to make sure he won't forget to take them along. "I put the picture into the book."

Higgs nodded, taking the book.

"Yeah, It was fucking fun. I enjoyed it," He sighed, looking at the gift from you. "Too bad that as soon as I leave we'll become a mortal enemies again,"

"Maybe you'll but not to me," assuring him, you grabbed his palm and squeezed it lightly. "No matter what you'd do, you gained a friend," you smiled.

Higgs took your palm and kissed the top of it. "Thank you, sugar. I will remember that."

"Take care of yourself as we need to meet next year for another Christmas party," you chuckled softly and blushed a bit at his sudden gesture.

Then, like he was one of the good guys, you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him. "Please, stay safe and see you in a year. Remember, you have to pop up! No excuse as it won't feel like Christmas without you."

Higgs hugged you, being totally confused but he nodded with a soft chuckle.

"Okay, I will try my best. See you in a year," He slowly pulled away and winked at you before vanishing.

You smiled to yourself while observing the flipped rainbow on the sky and hearing the thunder.

Despite your efforts, the Death Stranding still was on.

#sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan #clifford unger #heartman #mama #lockne #die-hardman #deadman #amelie strand #sam porter bridges x reader #heartman x reader #higgs monaghan x reader #death stranding #higgs monaghan fic #sam porter bridges fic

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imagines-to-quench-thirst · 4 years

Text

NURSE

Sam Bridges x reader

Warning: SMUT, fxm, few curse words, synonyms for penis (hehe)

Fair warning I wrote this while I'm on my period (still am, sorryTMI) so you know I'm a horny mess. Sorry about it.

Anon asked:Hello there! A bit strange, but I just want to give it a try! I was listening to Weeknd - After hours, and strangely it somehow really fits to Sam Bridges struggles/life in game etc.(minus the romantic interst). May I request a music imagine/smut with this song, if it is a thing for you? Please tell me what you think! Thank you for everything that you do🖤🖤🖤

Hey, anon, I used the lyrics but I didn't go step by step with the lyrics I used the one that suited the paragraph best. I hope that is okay.

✨I recommend you listen to Weeknd's song After Hours as you read it for an experience.✨

I also have a similar lyric fic with Mako's song Breathe paired with Duncan Vizla (Polar) so if you want you can give it a read

-Where is she?

Thought I almost died in my dream again

Fightin' for my life, I couldn't breathe again

-Mama, where is she for fucks sakes?!!!

-Her com has been turned off 20 minutes ago.

-What was recorded?

-Just some static and...

-And fucking what?

-... A gunshot...

Sam feels his legs give in as he kneels dangerously on the floor thinking of every worst possible in the book. His arms thinking rationality as they pull Mama down with him on the harsh floor

-Give me the location of-of... The gunshot. I will find her.

Mama wanted to pull him up and lock him in the room knowing that the place where Y/n was last heard no one could easily survive that. His head gawked up and she saw how his ombre pupils cracked in half fearing that he lost his hope of survival in this crazy sphere.

I'm fallin' in too deep

Without you, don't wanna sleep

'Cause my heart belongs to you

-Please...

With a heavy sigh, she responded with

-Port Knot City.

He knew that Y/n was alive. His psyche told him of every possible scenario that could happen as his soul pulled him up and hurled him on the motorbike as he speeds onto the rocky routines. The wheels speed over the hills hitting his legs and balls that will surely punish him later on. The sky started to change into the ominous charcoal sky as he saw the empty streets his eyes catching wandering BTs as their wails echoed through the deserted buildings. Looking down onto his arm he sees on the small screen where was Y/n's last seen signal boost. Looking at the spot a glimmer of silver he rushes to it picking it as he remembers he bought them for her knowing that you had a fascination with his own as they always his toned chest.

Dog tags.

Y/n L/n

I just wanted to call you and say, and say

-What's your problem with my dog tags?

-No problem. Maybe a kink.

-Well, you are in luck little lady. I have something for you.

Oh, baby, where are you now when I need you most?

Clutching the tags in his hand he looked above and beyond feeling his soul battling every negative thought. Sam rears his head up feeling a rumble close by. Turning over his shoulder he sees the lion-shaped BTs walking past him in a slow stride as if on a leash walking a designated path. Throwing his luck in the air he drives to near it following in adequate silence. The beast stepped one last time as he halted in front of a heap of bouldering tar, as the bubbles around it fall showing a victim changed into it gasping for air as if never inhale the rotten air. A caped person declines from the sky down standing in front of the victim Sam only hearing their voices.

-Where is the package?

-In your ass, asshole.

Sam's eyes brightened as he heard the insult finding the silver lining. His girl. His badass girl.

I'd give it all just to hold you close.

The kidnapper removed his cap and Sam immediately knowing who it was... Higgs. Fucker Higgs. Sam waited for a opportunity as Higgs walked away as Sam started revving his bike with only one goal-saving his girl and getting her back. Letting go of the break the motorbike roared like a beast as he drove under the lion-like BT as Sam's left hand reached for his girl as he started to the right as he grabbed her by the waist as she held onto him for dear life leaving Higgs to take a second what just happened.

-Bridges!!!!!

Higgs yelled as he jumped on the beast tailing the two lovers. Sam felt the weak arm around his waist bare and cold but thankfully alive and conscious.

-Princess. Are you okay? Just hold on.

Y/n felt the warmth from his body as he drove away as her eyes found Higgs starting to lose speed and distance eventually giving up.

-This is not the end! I will get that package!

I know it's all my fault

Made you put down your guard

I know I made you fall

The engine roared down into silence as Sam grabbed this love into his arms carrying her into the HQ to get her healed. Her body stiff and bleak nearly like a washed corpse as Mama examined her.

-Her lungs are at its limit, a wonder she is alive.

-What do you mean?

-Her lungs were excessively deprived of air. Wonder how she managed that.

Sam chuckled down at his girl mumbling proudly

-Easy. She's too stubborn to die.

Didn't wanna wake up 'less you were beside me

Cause this house is not a home

Days passed and Y/n came back to life as Sam held her like a drop of water in his palm. Not letting her to grab or carry anything god forbid walk to the bathroom to pee. As much as she came back to life her hormones came as well to say hello. She became sexually frustrated but knowing Sam he will say

"You need to heal."

But she is stubborn and she will get what she wants. Grabbing a neat pager she presses the red button on it that Sam gave to her to call her when she needs help using it only this once. She remembered him saying.

-Press this button and I will do anything to help you.

As she pressed the button the doors slammed open as Sam asked out of breath

-What? What's wrong? What do you need?

Y/n put on a smile on her face as she patted the space near her.

-Sit down.

Seeing her in good shape he sat down as he said

-You seem fine.

Y/n shook her head to negate his words

-Oh, I'm most certainly not. I'm in pain.

-Where?

Y/n extends her legs over his lap sitting on him facing his face as she putting his hands on her waist.

-Sexually.

-Oh.

-You are wounded and you ca-

Y/n placed a finger on his lips to hush him as she replies proudly

-You said that when I press the button on the anger you will ANYTHING to help me. Right?

Sam shook his head up and down as her fingers stayed put.

-Then help me. I want to feel you. You surely want to feel me. Right???

He shook his head again as his hands dive under her shirt.

I want you next to me

This time, I'll never leave

-Help me, Bridges. Make me feel at ease.

She commanded and he obeyed as her hand flew to his har as their lips connected in the touch starved manner that clashed together. Tongue peaking out, saliva dribbling down their chins.

Cause I want you baby

It was definitely a blessing, wakin' beside you

Sam felt his cock aching against her clothes core pulsating to feel the warmth he craved at this moment

I'll be livin' in Heaven when I'm inside of you

-No foreplay today. I need you, Sam.

He needed nothing more as her hand removed the pants and underwear as her slick dropped her juices over his cock. The juice sliding down his erection as the puddle nestled itself on the bottom of his groin into his dark pubic hair. Her body melted at his soft touch as she slides down his shaft eating him up feeling her walls provide the tight passage for him. Sam let his head fall seeing his friend disappear in her warmness not wanting to get out like ever. His hips snapped back and slammed her onto him feeling the zing of pain and the heap of pleasure.

-More, Sam. Please me.

Sam obliged for his best girl as his hips found her center again and again and again and again as his climax reared close his veins waiting for the delicious moment of persecuting to course his veins one last epic time. Y/n felt her hips snap in place Sam's cock still in her as she felt the warm cum release around him. Sam's cock felt the warm ooze and he came as well in her womb mixing the two together. Her lungs gasped for air and her hips cursed at her for the position but nothing felt better than this. Sam watches her chest fill with air as his thighs gave her the hard cushion support she needed for now. His gleaming eyes found hers as he asked

-Feeling better now?

I'll hold you down and not let you go

I'd give it all just to hold you close

Y/n smiled as she answered

-No more pain.

Her lips found his once again thanking him for being the best nurse.

I hope you enjoyed it🌺

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gabrielislovegabrielislife · 4 years

Text

Ok, I’ve been in the death stranding fandom since day one, and I am so obsessed with Clifford Unger rn. He lives in my mind rent free. Does anybody have any Cliff x reader recommendations, I’ve read all I can find but it’s not much.

So far, I’ve read the one where Cliff has repatriated to the time right after Sam leaves the UCA and the reader is like, super scared of Higgs bc of past stuff and she is trying to get Cliff to Sam and Louise but Fragile has been taken so they have to make the hike themselves. (Also her cat’s name is Rocky, which is short for Rocket Launcher and it isn’t important but it’s important to me that you know this.)

Another one where reader and cliff were together before Sam existed but he broke up with her and left her his dog tags.

Another one where they are like 20 and he is celebrating getting home from war and he meets her and she leaves her friend to go dance with him.

Another one where she is friends with Sam and gets taken in one of the chiral storms and Cliff keeps calling her Lisa.

Another one where they have some fun times after talking about the small plastic Christmas tree.

I think that’s it but I’m desperate for more.

Also, send me the links to every heartman x reader in existence please *grabby hands*

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builtonashes · 4 years

Text

Requests are OPEN!

Hey guys, I decided to start a separate tumblr account for my writing (figured it would be fair as I already have one for art). And since I've just finished Death Stranding, I'd gladly write some imagines/ideas/shorts with different characters just to practice! Please send me your requests and I shall get around to it whenever I need a break at work 💖 which is awfully often

I take all pairings.

I'd love to do some Death Stranding x reader shorts, so keep'em coming!

I don't really do NSFW but I can still drop in a few vague and non-graphic lines.

I love Heartman he deserves to be happy so make sure that most of the requests are for him haha

Can't wait to get your requests! 🤭

#death stranding #death stranding x reader #death stranding imagine #death stranding requests #death stranding fanfiction #heartman x reader #sam x reader #cliff x reader #higgs x reader #fragile x reader #fanfiction #requests

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elliebean714 · 2 years

Text

☆What I write☆~

I write character x character, character x oc and character x reader.

♡Romantic♡, ◇Platonic◇, whatever.

Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Yandere, Poly Relationships, Character Reactions, Character Diary Entries, Light Nsfw, My Oc's, Female, Gender Neutral And Male Readers/Characters/Oc's

♡Gay♡ and ☆Not Gay☆

Headcanons, fics, one-shots, maybe Au's....

Fandoms I write for. (It's all games. I'm not sorry.)

Until Dawn~

Josh Washington

Chris Hartley

Ashley Brown

Sam Giddings

Mike Munroe

Jess Riley

Emily Davis

Matt Taylor

Beth Washington

Hannah Washington

The Quarry~

Jacob Custos

Emma Mountebank

Nick Furcillo

Abigail Blyg

Max Brinly

Laura Kearney

Kaitlyn Ka

Dylan Lenivy

Ryan Erzhalher

Travis Hackett

Chris Hackett

Bobby Hackett

Life is Strange~

Season 1~

Max Caulfield

Chloe Price

Warren Graham

Nathan Prescott

Victoria Chase

Kate Marsh

Mark Jefferson

Before The Storm~

Chloe Price

Rachel Amber

Steph Gingrich

Nathan Prescott

Samantha Myers

Season 2~

Sean Diaz

Daniel Diaz

Cassidy

Finn

True colours~

Alex Chen

Steph Gingrich

Ryan Lucan

Gabe Chen

Charlotte Harmon

Jason Pike

Five Nights at Freddy's~

FNaF 1 ~

Bonnie

Freddy

Chica

Foxy

Golden Freddy

FNaF 2~

Toy Bonnie

Toy Freddy

Toy Chica

Marionette

Mangle

Withered Bonnie

Withered Freddy

Withered Chica

Withered Foxy

FNaF 3~

Springtrap

FNaF Sister Location~

Circus Baby

Ballora

Funtime Freddy/Bon Bon

Funtime Foxy

Ennerd

Lolbit

FNaF Pizzeria Simulator~

Lefty

FNaF Security Breach~

Gregory

Glamrock Freddy

Montgomery Gator

Glamrock Chica

Roxanne Wolf

Sundrop

Moondrop

Vanny

Vannessa

Misc.~

William Afton

Michael Afton

Henry Emily

Note~ Unless specifically requested otherwise all animatronics will not have the children's souls inside them, if you want the soul inside the animatronic it will automatically be platonic (Springtrap is the exception)♡

Bioshock~

Bioshock 1~

Jack Wynand

Atlas

Frank Fontaine

Bridget Tenenbaum

The Little Sisters

The Big Daddies

Bioshock 2~

Subject Delta

Augustus Sinclair

Eleanor Lamb

Sophia Lamb

Grace Holloway

Stanley Poole

Gil Alexander

Mark Meltzer

The Big Sisters

Bioshock Infinite~

Elizabeth Comstalk

Booker DeWitt

Songbird

The Walking Dead: Telltale~

Season 1~

Lee Everett

Clementine

Kenny

Lily

Carley

Doug

Mark

Ben Paul

Christa

Omid

Season 2~

Clementine

Luke

Nick

Sarah

Kenny

Season 3~

Javi Garcia

Kate Garcia

Gabe Garcia

Clementine

Tripp

Jesus

Season 4~

Clementine

Violet

Louis

Mitch

Tenn

James

Lily

Minerva

Detroit: Become Human~

Connor

Hank

Kara

Alice

Luther

Ralph

Marcus

North

Simon

Josh

The Last Of Us~

Part 1~

Ellie

Joel

Tommy

Henry

Sam

Marlene

Riley

Part 2~

Ellie

Joel

Dina

Jesse

Tommy

Abby

Owen

Lev

Yara

Uncharted~

Drake's Fortune~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Among Thieves~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Chloe Frazer

Harry Flynn

Drake's Deception~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Chloe Frazer

Talbot

A Thieves End~

Nathan Drake

Elena Fisher

Sam Drake

Rafe Adler

Nadine Ross

Death Stranding~

Sam Porter Bridges

Higgs Monaghan

Fragile

Amelie Strand

Dr Heartman

Mama

Lockne

Deadman

Die-Hardman

Clifford Unger

Doki Doki Literature Club~

Monika

Sayori

Yuri

Natsuki

Obey Me!~

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

Barbatos

Luke

Simeon

Solomon

Thirteen

☆Overall Note☆~ All Under 18 Characters Will Be Platonic, Unless Shipped With A Character/Oc Of The Same Age.♡

♡Protect the Children♡

◇What I won't write◇~

Heavy Nsfw

Non-Con/ Dub-Con

Pedophilia

Insest

Self Harm

Suicide

Big Age-Gap Relationships

Other people's oc's

Cheating (Except Comfort)

Send Requests, I'm Depressed💐

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starlightsoulwriting · 4 years

Text

L’appel du Vide

Cliff Unger x Reader

L'appel du Vide (n.) The unexplainable desire to jump when on the edge of a cliff Call of The Void AO3 Link

Porters are going missing. You and Fragile are at each other’s throats, and you’re still reeling from your incident ten months ago. And, on top of all your shit, life decides to drop a Cliff on you.

[x][1][2]

Prologue

The first time you met Cliff was on the beach.

It had been weeks since Sam had gone after Amelie to stop the Last Stranding. Things had calmed down on the outside; Die-Hardman was establishing his presidency, not that any of you were focused on that. You, Heartman, and Mama had been searching for Sam the whole time.

Your ability was an odd one, as far as DOOMS goes. You couldn’t teleport your whole body like Fragile could, but you could send your Ka to the beach - even to other people’s beaches if you had a focus.

The day you met Cliff had been hard.

You’d had an honest to god, knock-down, drag-out fight with Fragile - it would have gone to blows had Heartman not dragged you away. You escaped to the beach after that.

You’d been doing that a lot lately.

You started at Sam’s beach, like you always did. But you wandered for hours, coming up with nothing. You were for sure in someone else’s by now. The borders between beaches were all fuzzy now - it was easy to slip into one you didn’t mean to. You could feel the change in your gut, energy shifting. There were people here, you could feel it, but the strands were so tangled you couldn’t tell them apart. So you picked one and went with it. Maybe he had wandered off this way, too. He had a hell of a head start on you, though.

You kept stumbling on until you heard whistling in the distance. You’d found someone! So you took off at a dead sprint towards the sound, even as you were telling yourself it probably wasn’t Sam.

As soon as the man came into view, you deflated. You hated when you were right.

He was tall, and handsome, and strong-looking, but you were disappointed all the same.

Because he wasn’t the porter that saved your life two.

You let out a childish huff and plopped out onto the dark sand, exhausted. You would just lay down on your back and stare at the sky for a minute. Gather your energy. Then you would go.

The guy must’ve noticed you lying like a depressed starfish, though, because you heard footsteps, and then a crunch of sand as he sat down next to you. You didn’t bother looking over, instead opting to shift upright and stare at the waves instead, arms curling around your knees. The waves were more interesting than clouds, anyway.

“I assume you’re not having the best of days, either?” His voice was warm and raspy, almost saying it like a joke as much as it was a real question.

You had to barely stop yourself from barking out a laugh, looking at him incredulously, but you were amused nonetheless. His eyes glinted with playfulness, a wry smile on his face, like your reluctant, surprised smile was exactly what he was going for. You rolled your eyes and looked back at the sea. “That’s a hell of a question to ask someone wandering around purgatory.”

“I’m not wrong though, am I?”

You sighed, wistful humor draining out of you as you came back to reality. Your day had been shit. You shrugged, curling in on yourself even more. “ I had a horrible fight with one of my only friends. She made a decision to let a bad man handle his own shit. I think she should have killed him”

Oh, god, you were such a downer.

He didn’t seem to mind though, and looked thoughtful. “I’m sure she had her reasons for doing that.”

“Yeah, she wanted him to suffer the consequences of his actions or whatever, but, like.” You took a shaky breath in. A pit of dread opened up in you - you were starting to get upset again, chest clenching painfully. The cool air began to feel hot, suddenly. “He nuked a city. The world would be safer without him.” You clench your fists to stop your fingers from trembling and squeezed your eyes shut to stop the tears. Your heart hammered in your ears and for a moment you were back in your shelter, trapped and helpless again. You could still feel the blood all over you - your stomach, your hands. His voice.

A brush on your shoulder made you flinch back with a gasp, but you opened your eyes and there was no skull mask staring back at you, only warm brown eyes and a sad, sympathetic look on his face. You were on the beach, looking for Sam. You were safe.

“You still with me, there?” He said gently, like talking to a frightened cat. You wished you knew what was going through his head, but at the same time didn’t have the courage to ask. Instead you nodded and worked on following grounding exercises, focusing on slowing your breath. “Need help?” You shook your head and stayed quiet, looking back out at the ocean.

Sand between your fingers. Salty sea air filling your lungs. The taste of the ocean. The heat of the person next to you.

Awkward silence weighed down upon you.

But you eventually calmed down.

You took one last breath and spoke, voice still unsteady. “I’m looking for my friend. He’s lost somewhere in here. I just need to find him so we can go home,” You glance at him. “You see a tired-looking dude about six feet come through here recently? Shoulder length hair, scruffy beard, porter gear on?”

He shook his head. “Can’t say that I have, sorry.”

You shrug, sighing and getting to your feet. You had expected that, but it still sucked. “Thanks anyway.” You gave one more look around the beach before you got ready to re-enter your body. “See you ‘round, I guess, if you don’t move on by the time I’m back.” You began to walk towards the water. You needed a cold shower to scrub off all your ugly feelings. You waded past the breakers, walking to hip-height. The next bit was always the trickiest - returning to your body from the seam. If you did it wrong you would wake up in the afterlife instead of your room.

A murmur from behind gave you pause, though. “I’ll be here.”

You look at him questioningly. Most souls didn’t feel like lingering on the beach for long.

“I’m waiting for my son.” He says simply and with the same resolve you had, deep in your bones, that you would find Sam.

You gave him a small smile and a wave goodbye. It wasn’t often you met people out here. And this guy was nice. He had a warm voice and soft eyes. Not to mention the fact he was handsome. You ignored that, though. You didn’t need to catch feelings for a dead guy.

You’d decided you liked him, though. “I’m Y/n.”

“Cliff.”

As you dove into the Seam and past the surf, you heard the faint sound of whistling pick up again.

You hoped he found his son soon.

You saw him three more times before Mama found Sam - and joined him for short chats each time. Only a few minutes long each, just as the first had been, but just as comfortable - he steered topics away from his family, though. You didn’t pry at obviously healing wounds, and he didn’t ask about your panic attacks. So instead you talked about the stars, and your plants back home that were probably dying, and how well the UCA was doing now that people were connecting.

You liked talking to him. It was easy, really. He drew star charts in the sand for you, telling you about constellations and their stories, about Orion and Hercules. And you told him about your greenhouse, and cheesy action movies, and your cat, Rocky, and how to make little paper cranes. He whistled just to fill the silence.

Then Mama had found Sam, and your little “We-Love-Sam” club had been all hands on deck trying to get him home.

Even after you got him back, the rest of the world was a whirlwind of activity and bureaucracy and you were just trying your best to adjust to your new nightmares that had replaced the old ones, and trying to repair your relationship with Fragile, and setting up new software systems with Lockne.

It wore you down more every day. You weren’t meant to be at Bridges, really - you were just a nerd who got pulled into this mess against your will. Being on such a short leash here in the city felt claustrophobic. And you were exhausted, barely able to sleep because every time you closed your eyes all you saw was masks and blood.

You didn’t visit the beach for three more weeks.

You needed to go home, back out west past Lake Knot City. Where you had all the breathing room you wanted. No surveillance-state wrist cuffs or shitty cafeteria food. Come to think of it, your plants had probably all died by now. At least your mom had taken care of Rocky while you were away.

Fragile was feeling better and was making runs again; she had agreed to take you home, despite how tense your friendship was. You felt bad for being so pissed at her, but every time you looked over your shoulder or thought you heard Higg’s voice, you got upset again. She wasn’t the one who hurt you but it didn’t matter. You weren’t safe and it was her fault. You didn’t know how long it would be before things were okay again.

Everyone else was staying for a while after Die-Hardman’s big speech, at least for a bit. And even though you knew to the core of your being Higgs wouldn’t dare show his face at Bridges ever again, you still had to leave before you broke completely. It was only a matter of time before you lost your shit cooped up like this. You needed your mountains back.

You had gotten Sam back and made sure he was okay. You weren’t needed here anymore. You needed to set up a new shelter, one that didn’t hurt you just to see. Maybe closer to the rest of your group this time. More secure. Better to get started now then wait.

You were on your way to meet Fragile when Deadman stopped you.

“Y/n, I know you’ll probably be busy back home, but I could really use some help. I’ve been looking into this Captain Unger figure that kept trying to take Sam’s BB, but I haven’t been able to get to the rest of his file,” He started, and you didn’t like where he was going with this. He needed something from you. “I know that it’s hiding there, somewhere in the network, but it has so many layers of encryption I can’t get through it myself.” He made a pleading motion with his hands, tilting his head and looking like a hopeful golden retriever.

This guy’s been pulling stuff like this for two months.

And you caved every damn time.

At least this time it was something interesting and not some stupid password algorithms. You sighed. “Yeah, yeah, sure, send it to me. But I’m still leaving now, Deadman.” You looked away from him as you pulled him into a hug, uncomfortable and blushing. You weren’t good with goodbyes or physical contact. “Take care of everyone, okay?” You mumbled into his blazer. Your voice almost broke.

“Of course I will.” He gave you a hard squeeze. You didn’t protest. “But you need to take care of yourself, too.”

It was bittersweet, really. You cared about everyone so much, but you were being suffocated. You needed to go home.

And so you did.

Although, later that night, after settling into your new, empty shelter, and enduring dinner with your entire family like it was Christmas, you were already missing everyone.

You settled into your bed and opened your tablet, replying to Heartman’s sappy messages, assuring him that you would absolutely message him every day and would always visit him on the beach if he needed company. That was how you’d met in the first place. Lockne had run a few ideas through your DMs, but it was mostly just her way of working out a problem. It was clever shit, too, it was hard to feel helpful with her sometimes.

By the time you got around Deadman’s message your eyes were drooping and you were fighting back yawns - but you figured you would read through what he already had before getting started in the morning. Just a quick skim-through, no big deal.

It was a big deal.

Because when you opened the file, you shot up with a gasp, eyes bulging practically out of their sockets. Your Cliff and Sam’s Cliff were the same Cliff! Holy shit!

You got up and paced restlessly, hands moving from your mouth to your head to your hips.

Fucking hell! He’d shot at Sam! Motherfucker!

But he was so nice? And made stupid jokes, and helped keep you grounded?

You sat back on your bed, Rocky staring at you like you were nuts, and you ran through everything Sam had told you about Cliff. You fished through your memory, for when he recounted what nutso things Amelie had told him.

“Apparently that Cliff guy was brought back to teach me a lesson or something? I don’t know what she meant by that, but it did seem like he was pretty out of it most of the time. I don’t know if he’ll be hanging around beaches again or not, but he shouldn’t be botherin me and Lou anymore, and that’s all that really matters.”

Ah, screw sleep, you needed answers. This was going to keep you up all night, you just knew it. So you unpacked your PC and got cracking.

By the morning, you sent Cliff’s fully recovered file to Deadman. Sam deserved to hear news like that in person. His dad was… badass, honestly.

After that you slept until three PM. Then you went to the beach.

The world lurched around you as your soul left your body.

When you got to Cliff Unger’s - Sam’s Father’s - beach, there was no one there. Just the whistling of the wind.

He was gone.

You told yourself it was for the best.

You didn’t need to catch feelings for a dead guy, after all.

#death stranding #death stranding x reader #cliff unger #death stranding cliff #mads mikkelsen #longfic #l'appel du vide

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thepaperpanda · 3 years

Text

Bringing the Christmas Spirit Back || Heartman x Reader

Summary: When the Christmas spirit is long gone for humanity, Heartman tries to restore it.

Warnings: none

Words: 2711

Authors: Cass & Bear

Yawning loudly you walked out to the main room of Heartman's lab.

You didn't expect anything to be different because why would it be?

To your own surprise there was a big christmas tree in the middle of the room, it was made of plastic. "Uhm... What is that?," You asked, walking closer to inspect the colorful baubles and other decorations.

“Well, now that you're awake, I have to tell you that we ran out of earl gray,” Heartman stepped into the room, almost jumping off four little stairs. “Hi, gorgeous,” he placed a brief kiss on your cheek and stood right next to the christma tree. “I’ve printed it with a 3D printer, what do you think?,” He asked, being obviously proud of himself. “I thought that we could have restored some of the old traditions. That we could have brought some of the Christmas spirit, to gain some kind of mood improvement.”

"I forgot you don't sleep with me in bed. You have a lot of time to do these things," you said with a smile and rubbed your eyes, trying your best to wipe the sleep off them. "It's a good idea but I don't think it will ever be the same, and about the tea, I will check later what else we need, and then I will do a bigger order."

“Sam won’t be happy,” Heartman let out a proper laugh. “It’s going to be our… Fourteenth order over the past two weeks,” He took his glasses off to wipe them using a kerchief he held in his back pocket.

"The fifteenth order, sweetie. I checked the records last evening before the bed. I have no idea what you ordered behind my back but I know you did," you sighed, tapping his shoulder. "Let's hope they will send some other poor soul and not our Sam."

“Well, actually, I wouldn’t mind them sending Sam, I have a few questions for him,” Heartman put his glasses back on. “Now, you look much better than the second before when your figure was blurry,” he sent you a grin and in the same moment his AED beeped a few times. “Ah, shit. We’ll continue our deep conversation in 3 minutes, okay? Meantime, be a good girl and make me a strong coffee, and don’t forget I like it bitter.”

You giggled and nodded. "Okay, I will also make some breakfast while in the kitchen."

After kissing his cheek you went to the bedroom to quickly grab your glasses before heading to the kitchen. Then you started preparing the hot drinks.

After exactly 3 minutes, Heartman’s AED brought him back to life with a strong, electric impulse. It took him a few seconds to gain his thoughts. “I hate this,” he muttered to himself and before he got up from the cot, he had written some things in his online journal, using his fingers to do so.

At that point you were putting plates with breakfast onto the table. Toasts for both of you, coffee for him, and green tea for you.

Letting out a quiet sigh, you started looking through all the cabinets and shelves. "I think I have everything," you muttered to yourself.

Heartman walked into the little dining room shortly after, he instantly took his seat. “Thanks,” he sent you a smile and started eating. “What are you looking for? Tell me, and I’ll tell you where you’ll be able to find it.”

"No, no. It's okay, I already know what I need," you informed him and quickly took your seat right in front of him. "You really want to bring back a bit of the Christmas spirit to these dark days, huh?"

"Yes, whenever possible," he replied and took a bite of his toast. He chewed and sipped on his coffee. "Yeah, that's what I needed."

"Glad you liked it," you smiled at him, taking a sip of your tea.

After break Heartman returned to his work. Meantime, you checked and listed all the stuff you needed before placing an order with a little message for Sam.

After making sure your beloved man was busy with work, you quickly returned to the kitchen, locking the door. "Let's see if I still remember how to do this."

Maybe it was a silly idea but since Heartman wanted to bring back Christmas, it was worth a shot.

An hour and a half had passed and you finally left the kitchen. Of course he didn't notice you weren't around for the longer moment.

"Sweetie. I have something for you!"

There was no response from Heartman.

He was dead, again.

The chiral matter in his hourglass almost filled the bottom part which meant he was about to get back within the blink of an eye.

Sighing, you took a seat on the leather couch, waiting for him to return.

Another electric impulse made its way through Heartman's body, and the man jerked in his place regaining consciousness. "Y/N, did you say something?"

You nodded. "I called you but I was a bit too late to catch you. Glad to see you back, come here. I have a Christmas gift for you."

"A Christmas gift? For me?," He blinked and didn't even try to hide his consternation as he got up. "I didn't expect anything like this but I won't lie, I can't wait to see what you got for me!"

You laughed. "Be a good man and open your mouth, eyes closed," you hummed with a smile. It was a little revenge for some test you had to do for him in the past.

At first he blinked hearing your command. Then, he laughed loudly. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but as much as I love you, I don't hold an ounce of confidence in your actions," he joked, referring to that one particular time when you asked him to obey your words only to prank him.

You rolled your eyes. "Trust me this one time. You won't regret it, I swear on the bond between us," you said, placing your hand over your heart.

"I'm Heartman and my heart is already skipping a beat out of fear of what you've planned," he smirked but closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly. "I just want to warn you that if you'll try to feed me with chiral matter cookies, you'll regret the day you were born."

You sighed and put a regular chocolate chip cookie between his lips. "Here. I hope I didn't burn them... And that they are good. I can't remember when I baked these for the last time."

He chewed and then issued an opinion. "I like the flavour, the cookie was not too sweet yet not too bitter, too. You've added a perfectly measured amount of cocoa, the cookie had a tempting smell, too," Heartman stated. "I only lack some tiny ounce of ginger and honey but I know that it's extremely hard to get those."

You looked at him, listening to his every word. It wasn't exactly the opinion you expected. "But... Do you like it? Before this all happened I used to make them for Christmas."

"Do I like it? I love it, Y/N," Heartman replied. "If not for the fact I'm on a forever diet to stay in shape, I'd eat a tone of these!"

"Oh, in such a case the whole jar of cookies wasn't a great idea," you giggled, rubbing your hand awkwardly. "Sorry."

He sent you a smile. "I knew you'll surprise me, honey. But before I'll die again today, let me take you somewhere. While you'd been sleeping, I prepared something small," he claimed and got up from the cot, offering you his shoulder.

You blinked confused but nodded, taking his arm. "Shall I be worried?"

Heartman didn't reply but took you out of his laboratory. "Put your coat on," he advised. “By my side you don’t have to be worried.”

You nodded and put on your coat just like he advised you. Just to be safe you also slipped on your warm boots. "Okay. I am ready... I think."

He put his long, black coat on as well and led you outside of his facility.

Heartman stopped with you on the threshold of his outpost, being still under awning. "There," he pointed on the left. "Do you see him?"

You rubbed your eyes, trying to get used to the brightness of the snow. Frowning you looked in the direction he pointed. "Is it…? Wait! Is it a snowman?"

"Yes, it is. I called it the Death Stranding Snowman. He looks like a regular one but, if you'll take a closer look, you can see he had the Odradek and backpack, just like porters do."

You giggled and nodded. "I can see that and I love it. I bet that Sam will love it as soon as he sees it. I am glad we live in a place like this actually, the Death Stranding Snowman will be with us longer due to low temperature."

"Correct. And, also," he pointed his index finger up, right above your heads.

A plastic mistletoe hung on a tiny string attached to awning. "Maybe we can just have a little sneaky kiss under this mistletoe? It’s a tradition, isn’t it though?"

You looked up at the mistletoe and laughed shortly. "Oh, you really got prepared while I was sleeping, huh?," You asked with a cocky smile.

"Less talking, more doing," he muffled your voice with his lips crushing on yours.

You hummed and kissed him back, placing your hands against his chest.

After a moment you pulled away to catch your breath.

"Mmmm, that was something, Y/N," Heartman let out a hum of appreciation as his left palm was placed to your cheek where he gently brushed his thumb over your skin. "Ah! Just look at that! Sam's faster than I expected!"

In the distance you could spot a little cloud of snow rising into the air. Sam Porter Bridges was riding his bike right to your outpost.

You blinked and looked at the cloud of snow, giggling. "Oh, yes, he is, I still wonder how he is riding this thing through all the snow," you tapped Heartman's chest. "I will go pack him some cookies for the road and you get inside before you run out of time."

Heartman decided to wait for Sam to approach.

When the other man got off his motorcycle and took all the packages, Heartman waved at him, still standing at the threshold of his outpost. "Sam Bridges! It's good to see you!"

Sam didn't reply, only nodded his head while climbing up the stairs. By his way he turned head aside and stopped, looking at the snowman. “Seriously?,” He questioned loudly enough for Heartman to hear. “Whose idea it was?”

Soon you joined both men. "Hello Sam, it's good to see you," you said with a smile and looked at Heartman, frowning. "I think I told you to get inside, huh?"

"Easy, Y/N, I put this little thing on mute," he patted his AED a few times. “Idea for the snowman was totally mine. I’m thinking about getting similar sculptures to other Bridges locations, not necessarily made of snow but rather printed in Chiral Printers. We should consider bringing Christmas spirit all over America.”

Sam scoffed Heartman’s words. “It’s not feasible as not all cities are in the network.” Sam was glaring at him, then he moved his glance to you. "Another order, huh? Are you opening a canteen or something? How is it possible for two people to use all of the supplies in a week?"

"You kidding me right? I am not going to drag you back inside," uou muttered, completely annoyed with Heartman’s weird habit of muting the AED, so you simply unmuted the device.

"And it stays like this, sweetie," you said and turned your attention back to Sam. "Trust me, Sam, I have no idea what he is doing when I am asleep but our supplies melts like snow in the sun. I am so sorry for the trouble."

With cocked brows Sam observed you and your little outburst of anger towards Heartman. "Yeah," he summed the situation up. Next moment he simply gestured at you and Heartman to slide aside. "I need to deliver these," he pointed at packages on his back.

"Oh! Yes, right! Go to the terminal and then bring stuff inside," you instructed him and looked at Heartman. "We will be there."

Heartman got back inside and took his coat as soon as he crossed the threshold of his laboratory.

Soon, Sam joined you. He cringed at the very beginning after stepping in, when he spotted stuffed BTs with Christmas hats on. "The fuck...," He grunted to himself.

"Heartman wants to bring back the Christmas spirit. In some way at least," you said looking at Sam from the couch and pointed at the big christmas tree. "BT in christmas hats aren't the only decorations here."

Sam stopped at the top of four little stairs. "Yeah. I thought that you're not this type of guy because just like you claimed, you’re being dead inside," he summed up and got downstairs, putting the packages aside.

"Well, you can see how much one person can change," you summed up getting up from the couch to walk up to Sam. "Here, since it's Christmas time. I have a little gift for you, I hope you will like it," you smiled at him, giving him a little bag of cookies.

At first he hesitated to accept the little bag with cookies but soon he took it. "Thank you, Y/N."

Heartman was laying on his cot. "Was nice to see you again, Sam. Thank you for bringing us all of the necessary things so quickly. You're simply the best porter."

Sam nodded and grunted something under his breath only to turn around and got up the little stairs. "If only all BTs would be that cute," he pointed at two stuffed creatures.

You giggled and nodded. "If all BTs were like these ones, the world wouldn't be that scary. Thank you so much for coming, Sam. Have a good trip."

Several minutes passed since the moment Sam left you. Heartman was getting ready for another cardiac arrest when his intercom bipped, so the man frowned a little. “Do we expect any guests, Y’N?”

You looked at him with a frown and shook your head.

Of course you didn't expect any guests, it's not like the good, old times when people could just visit friends randomly. It was a bit more complicated these days. "No, I do not and even if I did, I would inform you. Did you invite anyone?"

He shook his head for no and got up. Heartman left his lab and went to the glazed entrance where the terminal was located. “Y’N, it’s Sam, come over here!”

You even didn't bother to pull on the coat and joined Heartman, wearing your regular clothes.

"Sam? Is everything okay?"

"Yes!," Sam yelled from the distance. "I improved your snowman, Heartman!"

Heartman looked at you, frowning. "What is he talking about?," He asked and opened the main door to step slightly outside. The timefall stopped so Heartman simply got out of the building. "Y/N, you need to see this!"

You were completely confused about what was going on. You followed Heartman to look at the improved snowman.

The snowman had now one hand made of some plastic garbage Heartman found in his laboratory when the other one was made of snow, with middle finger up in the air. Next to the snowman there was a line of text scrawled in the snow. Fuck Higgs and his terrorists!, the inscription stated. Heartman lifted his hand up and gave a thumb up to Sam. “100 likes for this piece of art, Sam!”

You gave Sam a thumb down. "And minus 50 likes from me. I preferred the previous snowman," you said but giggled.

“You have no idea about modern art, Y/N!,” Sam yelled back and got onto his vehicle to roll down the hill.

“What? I like this anti-Monaghan version,” Heartman shrugged and wrapped arm around your shoulders. “Let’s get back inside. There are some handmade cookies left.”

#heartman #heartman x reader #death stranding #sam porter bridges #sam porter bridges x heartman #sam porter bridges x reader #christmas #heartman fic #death stranding fic #higgs monaghan mentioned #kojima productions #ds heartman

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builtonashes · 4 years

Text

Lost It All

So I’m FINALLY done with this Higgs x Reader story where I managed to combine a few prompts I got here on Tumblr. It’s pretty long, but I do like the way it turned out! Please tell me what you think :)

Pairing: Reader (F) x Higgs Monaghan

Rating: E

Word count: 15 028 (!), 18 467 in the final version

AO3 link: here

WARNING! This is a previous version of the story. An updated (and much longer) one is available under the AO3 link. I’m leaving the first version here to let you compare them yourself should you want to do that! All the changes are fitted into chapter 2 on AO3 so that you don’t have to go through the entire thing again of you don’t want to.

You hated this. You hated the weather, you hated the temperature, you hated the fact that it was getting late and that you were still far away from your shelter. Did you mention that you hated the weather? Well, now that you did the timefall got even heavier. Be careful what you wish for, you guessed, sighing and adjusting your backpack. There was nowhere to rest or hide from the rain so the only way for you right now was forward.

It was during times like these that you regretted the fact that your shelter has not yet been connected to the chiral network. No timefall shelters, no bridges, no structures at all. Just some rocks and an ever expanding MULE territory. If it wasn’t for your job, you would have moved to one of the Knot Cities a long time ago. Unfortunately your research demanded a very specific climate and a very specific location. Which was both your doom and the best thing to happen to you as you were at least left alone, but then every single time you needed resources or instruments you had to get them on your own. Usually on foot and usually under the worst imaginable weather.

Ever since Sam Porter Bridges connected most of the facilities in America to the UCA, it was getting harder to avoid MULEs. Their camps kept moving unpredictably and they were constantly adjusting the type of weapons they used. You were lucky to avoid them during your expeditions as you usually travelled light; unfortunately there were more and more news about your colleagues getting ambushed and robbed, usually not even remotely close to the MULE territory. It made your heart skip a beat every time you heard an unknown noise, even if it was just an animal passing you by. You already filed for a contract with a porter company a while ago as they were much better equipped to handle such situations, but no single one wanted to take it as the deliveries were unevenly spaced and relatively rare. Therefore most of the equipment you needed you actually had to pick up yourself. It didn’t help that the equipment you needed for your research was very valuable. You were actually hoping that the MULEs were stupid enough to not realize what your company’s researchers were carrying. The chiral transmitters didn’t look valuable, but if disassembled into parts they could fetch insane prices on the black market. You knew this, the other researchers knew this; hopefully, the MULEs didn’t.

Coming back from Mountain Knot City you didn’t have far to travel, but you did have to do some hiking. You actually liked the fact that your shelter was located in a very remote location. It was quiet and really hard to find if you didn’t know where to look. The proximity of caves and passages was also something that worked to your advantage. It was incredibly easy to get lost, slip and fall or take a wrong turn and end up in a completely different place. Of course you knew the paths by heart and it always made you laugh at all your guests trying to locate the lab and cursing for a few minutes after they arrived. You wanted to put up some signage at some point but dropped the idea pretty fast. It was one of your only sources of amusement during your working hours.

You decided to think about the good things. In an hour or so you’ll finally be able to dig into the sweets Heartman sent you as a thank you gift. You noticed gingerbread cookies, candy, caramel fudge and shortbread. You were right to leave those for later. Now you had something to look forward to.

You could almost see the path leading to the first of the intersections you had to pass when the rain almost stopped. A few drops here and there, but at least it was easier to see now. You were just about to turn left and pass one of the meadows when something caught your eye. A movement; normally your instincts would tell you to expect some kind of a forest animal, but there was no wildlife here; timefall got rid of it very effectively. You had to learn to not trust your instincts anymore. You suddenly felt blood rush to your head, filling your ears with a slow thrum of your own heartbeat. There was a sudden weight in your stomach slowly giving way to panic. Was someone here? Who could it be? Were you supposed to run? Or maybe try to hide?

Unfortunately, before you were able to make the decision you heard a swoosh of air and noticed an electric rod dig into the ground right next to you with a loud thump. You felt a jab of searing pain in your left leg, traveling all the way up to your knee. You tried willing your body to run, but the only thing you managed to do was fall over with dreaded realization that you couldn’t move. You couldn’t move your legs, you couldn’t move your hands. Apparently this time it was you the MULEs decided to ambush.

Your theory was confirmed in a few seconds as two strangers in very distinctive jumpsuits approached you, lifting you up by the arms and watching you closely. You closed your eyes shut, trying to calm down a little. There was no use in panicking. They already had you; the only way you could get out of this was by thinking smart.

„What do we have here?”, came a low, amused voice, forcing you to open your eyes. „Looks like it’s our lucky day, boys. I suggest we take her stuff it for safekeeping. What do you think?”

Two other men approached and ripped your backpack off your back. Going through your stuff, they discarded everything they didn’t need on the ground and finally found what they were looking for. The instruments were taken out with a loud aha! and quickly stowed away in one of the man’s vast pockets. You suddenly felt a hand tighten around your wrists, twisting them behind your back.

„What else do you have there, miss?”, the guy asked, the tone of his voice weirdly excited. „Apparently following you was a good decision. We were hoping to find maybe one of those expensive ass transmitters, but two? Almost like Christmas coming early this year.”

Well, that was it for hoping that the MULEs didn’t know how valuable your equipment was. You stood silently, trying to even out your breaths so that you wouldn’t hyperventilate. Your legs were still very weak, but you had no idea whether it was because of the electrocution or because of the pain. Your head was spinning and you felt nauseous. What were they going to do to you? The MULE’s grip on your wrists tightened even more, bordering on painful.

„You already have my stuff,” you whispered through gritted teeth, trying to take your mind away from the pain. „I don’t have anything else that could be useful to you.”

„Well, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” the MULE’s voice suddenly gained an undertone that made you feel very uncomfortable. „You see, we don’t have many visitors. Why don’t we have some fun before we let you go, huh? What do you say?”

You turned your head to look at the man right next to you. Tall, well-built, with a strong grip. There was no way you could overpower him. One good thing was that they were not going to kill you, not wanting to risk a voidout. Then again… there were so many other things they could have done to you it almost made you throw up. Unfortunately, you were still not able to move your legs. There was no way you were going to run.

You suddenly felt a stray tear fall down your cheek. The stress was getting to you. Your stomach felt like a tight, ice-cold knot and you could still feel the excruciating pain in your muscles. All these years with no incidents, all these comfortable years when you somehow felt invincible. And now this. They could do anything they wanted and there was no way for you to fight back. You were a scientist, for fuck’s sake - how were you supposed to oppose a group of men armed to the teeth?

Apparently it was only going to get worse.

The first hit to your face was hard and painful, immediately making your eyes water even more. You gasped, trying to move away, but the hold they had on your wrists was very powerful. The second blow was aimed at your stomach and sent you kneeling down on the ground. That was when you heard three vicious laughs right next to you and a new voice, a little higher than the last one.

„Just how I like them; on their knees and with nowhere to run,” the man said, moving closer and standing right in front of you. „Maybe we should take her to our camp? What do you think?”

„Dunno, boss,” an answer came from behind. „Too much trouble, I think.”

„Yeah, you’re probably right. Besides, we have a few other deliveries to catch.”

The sudden sharp pull on your hair made you gag, the boss’ hand bringing your face upwards to look you in the eyes. You couldn’t see him underneath the entire suit, but the urge to throw up was almost overwhelming.

„Gonna tell me your name, sweetheart?” - he asked, tightening the grip on your hair.

You shook your head. It would be too easy for them to target your friends if they knew who you were. You also knew that you were a terrible liar, so there was no use trying to come up with a random name just to give them something.

„As you wish,” the man said in a sing-song voice and raised his fist to hit you again. „Or maybe? Hm?”

You didn’t say anything and braced for another blow you could almost see coming. When the man’s gloved hand connected with your face you could swear there was something in there that tore the skin of your left cheek. And if that wasn’t enough, you could feel blood running down your nose, painting your mouth red.

„Nevermind then. We don’t need her conscious, now do we, boys? What would you say if I…”

He was suddenly cut short by something you were too exhausted to notice, your eyelids feeling too heavy to open fully. But there was movement; it was fast, chaotic, and there was a voice saying something you couldn’t understand. What you did manage to notice however was that there was a sudden release of both your wrists and hair, resulting in you falling to the ground again. Still unable to move your body, but able to twist your neck, you saw a flurry of black and red, painted with a little of orange signifying the MULEs’ jumpsuits. It was just a few minutes before you heard footsteps approaching, automatically flinching at the sound. What just happened? BTs? Another group of MULEs? You squeezed your eyes shut, not knowing what to expect, but bracing for pain nonetheless. When no blows came, you decided to slowly open your eyes.

„Hey, you alright?” The man approaching you crouched next to you and looked at your face. When he moved closer you saw him too; dirty and a little banged up, with a mouth crooked upwards in a smile. „I swear if I see those bastards here again I’m going to kick them to the nearest Beach. You have no idea how much they irritate me.”

Did this man… save you? Or was he just trying to take your cargo for himself? You tried to move, your body still in a lot of pain. It was hard to talk.

„Wh… Who…?”

„Oh, who am I? Just a random passer-by. I keep wandering those mountains and looking for… stuff. And I really don’t like these guys fucking with random hikers.”

You grunted, spitting out blood and finally managing to move enough to lay on your back. The relief was much greater than you initially thought if would be, but the searing pain was still there, making you shiver uncontrollably and intensifying the dizziness. „You… saved my… life-” you wanted to say, but he interrupted you immediately.

„Well, they wouldn’t’ve killed you, darling,” he moved even closer to you and reached out with his gloved hands, wiping the blood from your face with his thumb. „Okay, now you look almost like a regular human being, but this cheek is gonna need stitches. Anyway, I’ve seen those guys do some nasty stuff to the people they ambush. Now don’t get me wrong. They wanna steal, I’m not gonna care. But this, I don’t want to see on my watch.”

You closed your eyes and felt the adrenaline leaving your body. Suddenly the pain was almost as unbearable as the fatigue. You started wondering how you were going to get back to your shelter.

„Fuck, it hurts,” you sighed, gritting your teeth.

„I can imagine,” the man said, sitting down on the ground right next to you. „Hey, I have a favor to ask. Do you live far?”

„No… not really.”

„Great. I’ll help you get there. Looking at your company tag, you probably have some food and a place for me to crash for a while. You think you could help me out, darling?”

Every single cell of your being screamed no, you have no idea who that man is, don’t trust him, but on the other hand, he did save you from the MULEs. It was the least you could do to pay him back.

„Fine,” you said, opening a direction map on your cufflink; the action almost seemed impossible in your current state. You could feel your head swimming again and your vision was beginning to darken. „Let’s go… before the rain gets worse.”

„Sure thing.”

Before you even had the time (or strength, for that matter) to protest, he picked you up and started carrying you with an it’ll be faster that way thrown carelessly in the air between you. The last thing you were able to notice before you threw up and then passed out was that he was also carrying the chiral transmitters the MULEs stole from you.

***

You woke up with a dull headache, opening your eyes seeming impossible at first. Where were you? What happened? You did have some recollection of the most recent events, but definitely not all of them. You remembered your way home from Mountain Knot City, the MULE attack… oh, and the strange man who saved you from those idiots.

Forcing yourself to open your eyes, you noticed that you were in your own shelter. In your own bed. Everything hurt like crazy, something pulling at your cheek and your jaw feeling incredibly swollen. You tried to move your legs and almost, almost made it when you heard a shuffle of fabric and noticed the stranger suddenly standing next to you.

He was taller than you remembered.

„Good morning, sunshine,” he chimed, leaning over you and looking you in the eyes. „How are we feeling today? You slept for an entire day, you know. You have no idea how bored I was.”

You tried sitting up a little, just to be able to talk to him more comfortably. A day? Your head was wrapped in bandages, some strange gel covering your leg. What the hell happened here?

„Wh… how…”

„Don’t try talking yet, darling. You’re still exhausted. I patched you up the best I could, so you’re probably going to live. Oh, and your friend Heartman called. I didn’t pick up because I didn’t want him to freak out. By the way, what kind of a stupid name is that?”

Heartman called? Oh God. He was probably worried sick by now.

Sitting up a little with your back resting against the pillows, you moved your hand up and noticed purple bruises where your cufflink was. Probably from the strong grip those bastards had on your wrists. Only then did you realize how lucky you actually were that nothing worse happened to you.

„Alright,” you sighed, not really able to think as fast as you would’ve like to. „Thank you. Really. Have you been here all this time?”

Instead of answering, the man reached for a bottle of water and a straw, moving it up to your face. You caught the straw greedily between your lips and even though you knew it wasn’t wise to drink this much this fast, you didn’t care. You were so thirsty.

„Yes,” the man answered, sitting on the bed right next to you. You were finally able to take a better look at him. „It’s actually pretty cozy here. And warm. And I was right about you having food. By the way, I ate most of it.”

The man was tall and well-built, currently wearing a black t-shirt and cargo pants. You noticed a few scars on his arms and hands. His hair was a mess and he apparently hasn’t shaved in the last few days, but he still looked… friendly? Well, definitely not as someone who could hurt you. The look in his blue eyes made a very different impression though.

With the water doing wonders for your sore throat, you were finally able to focus your thoughts a little more.

„Who are you?” You asked, leaning back into the pillows.

„Do you really want to know?” His tone was playful. Why was it playful?

„Well, you spent all this time here and patched me up, so I guess I could at least get to know your name.”

He seemed hesitant. Placing the now empty water bottle on the ground, he shifted uncomfortably.

„I’m not… the most desired person to be around right now, you know.”

„So I’ve guessed. But don’t worry, anything you say here is safe with me. I owe you that much.”

He shifted again, suddenly moving his gaze away from you.

„Alright. It’s not like you weren’t going to find out anyway. My name is Higgs. Higgs Monaghan.”

You blinked twice, expecting him to say that it was a joke. But he didn’t. If he really was who he was saying he was, you let the most dangerous man in the world into your home. Very smart, Y/N. Very smart.

But then again, if he wanted to hurt you or abuse you in any way, wouldn’t he already have done so? Something was wrong here.

„That Higgs Monaghan? Weren’t you supposed to be dead? Or, I don’t know, exiled or something?”

He moved his head, looking at you again. There were so many conflicting emotions lingering on his face that you had no idea how to read them.

„Well, that didn’t really work out,” he shrugged. „Although I am exiled in a way, you know. Anyway, I won’t be too much of a bother. I promise. I’m just going to crash here for the next few days and leave, and you’re never going to see me again.”

„Wait,” you said, trying to follow his train of thought. „So that’s all you want? A place to crash?”

„Uhh, yeah. I don’t really… have anywhere to go now, you know. And I figured that you might help me if I helped you. So I jumped in when those nasty MULEs were trying to hurt you. I guess it was kinda selfish of me, huh?”

You sat in silence for a few moments, trying to figure out how to respond. Higgs, the terrorist and cold-blooded killer, sitting on your bed, definitely not acting like the monster you heard he was.

Something was not right here. Was he… playing you? Maybe he was planning to take you hostage? Your brain immediately started coming up with so many different scenarios your head started to hurt. You had to do something, something that would make you feel safe.

„Alright,” you said after a while, closing your eyes again to try and control the headache. „I have to call Heartman. He’s going to worry.”

„Have fun then. I’ll be on the couch, eating.”

You watched with disbelief as he stood up and left the room, hearing him sit down on your couch in the space you liked to call your living room. Not like it resembled one at all, but you liked to have this distinction. Suddenly, you felt even more uneasy. This man was in your house, in your room. It was no longer your private, personal space. What was he trying to do? Did he have any hidden agenda? You were hoping to observe his reaction to your mention of needing to call Heartman, but he didn’t seem to care. So probably not a hostage. Maybe he was actually telling the truth.

Maybe he was just as lost as the rest of the world.

You opened a connection on your cufflink. Heartman picked up after half a beep.

„Y/N, Gods, I was worried sick!”, you heard him say on the other side and suppressed a chuckle. „What happened? Where were you? Why did I get those weird biometric readings?”

„It’s nice to talk to you too,” you smiled, the motion making you flinch with pain due to your cheek injury. „Before I tell you anything, I just want you to know that I’m fine.”

„What are you talking abo-”

„I was attacked by MULEs,” you said quickly, not really wanting to get into another long discussion about the need to monitor every single activity of all people who work on the network. „But I’m fine. A little bruised, but I’ll live.”

„What-how-I’m sending a medical team to you right away-”

„Stop,” you could almost imagine the scowl he would make at that. „Do I need to remind you that we only have one medical team at our disposal? I suggest you don’t bother them every single time I get a bruise. They might, you know, actually be needed somewhere.”

You heard Heartman sigh. He knew you were right. On the other hand, you also knew that he always worried about his fellow scientists.

„Alright,” he said, defeat obvious in his voice. „But please promise me that you’re going to call me if you need anything. And send me the coordinates so I can send an investigation team to secure the area.”

„I will. Now please stop worrying. I just have to rest for a while and I’ll be good as new.”

„Only if you really rest, you know. Not get to work right away,”

„I know, I know. But you really don’t need to worry. I know I have to take it easy every once in a while.”

„I hope you do. I’ll call you again in a few hours to make sure.”

„Well, I can’t promise I won’t be sleeping then.”

„Or working.”

„I love you too.”

You ended the connection and sat back on the pillows. It really did take a huge toll on you to pretend that you were feeling better than you actually were. Your muscles hurt, your head was spinning and you were pretty sure there were burns on your leg because of the electrocution. At least it felt that way. Not to mention that you could feel the stitches pulling every single time you moved your jaw.

Higgs came back into the bedroom, carrying something with him.

„I brought you something to eat,” he said, eyeing the package carefully. „But I’m not sure how to serve this.”

You glanced to the right, noticing what he was holding.

„You… have to boil it first,” it was beginning to get harder and harder to talk.

He approached you with a weird expression on his face.

„I’m… not sure I understand. How do I boil it?”

„You know. The usual way. You boil water, put the contents in the pot and add some spices. And a spoonful of butter. Then you boil it some more.”

„Wait… what?” His expression changed to puzzled and you realized he had no idea what you were talking about.

„Nevermind,” you sighed, the pain in your back getting worse and worse. „I probably wouldn’t be able to eat it anyway. There’s some protein bars in one of the cupboards. Do you know how to make tea or is that too much for you?”

„Hey! No need to be rude!”

„Sorry. I’m just… it really hurts, you know.”

His features softened a little and he sighed too.

„Okay. I’ll be right back.”

You slumped down on the pillows again and tried to regulate your breathing. Your legs did not only hurt, now they were starting to itch. Maybe you should try and get up just so you could make sure Higgs used the proper medicine.

You moved your entire body to the left and tried moving your legs too to let them dangle from the bed. It hurt like hell, but then again it wasn’t because of the pressure, so you figured it wouldn’t get worse if you placed your feet on the floor and tried to get up.

Unfortunately you were very, very wrong.

The second you pulled yourself up you fell down hard, hitting the floor with a loud thud and the fall resulted in a cascade of pain travelling between your legs and your chest. Suddenly it got hard to breathe. You got scared and felt tears well up in your eyes, constricting your airway even further. Still, before you managed to make any additional sound Higgs was by your side, lifting you up and placing you back on the bed. As soon as you were laid flat again, the suffocating feeling disappeared.

„Seriously, can’t you just lay still for a moment? You’re really badly hurt. You’re not supposed to be moving.”

„I know… I just…” you hated how weak your voice sounded. „I thought…”

„Just stay here, okay? You’ll be back up in no time, but you can’t rush it. Which reminds me, I have to change the dressing on your face. But that can wait until you’re done eating.”

He actually brought you one of the protein bars and some fresh brewed tea. You tried taking it easy with the bar, knowing that you literally won’t be able to stomach it if you ate it too fast. You had to admit that the meal actually made you feel a lot better.

„Thank you,” you said, feeling much warmer and a little stronger. „I’m sorry for being an idiot. I won’t do that again.”

„Good. Now sit up so I can redress that wound.”

You were surprised with the swiftness of his moves when he took off the old dressing, cleaned the area of the wound and placed new gauze on top of your skin. You didn’t fail to notice that he actually knew what he was doing. It made you a little less concerned about the state of your legs.

„Does it look bad?” You asked, looking away from his face.

„Not really,” he said, collecting the used gauze from your bed. „It probably won’t even leave a scar. I had to put two stitches in, but if you don’t fumble with it then you have nothing to worry about.”

Two stitches. In your face. Great.

„Thank you.”

You didn’t have a lot of energy to talk more than that, so you laid back down and decided to take it easy. You noticed Higgs leaving for the living room again, heard him sit down on your couch again and slowly drifted into dreamless sleep.

Maybe it would really do you good to just take it easy for a while.

***

The next few days were a blur, consisting mostly of sleep, eating, taking care of your injuries and Higgs washing your skin with a damp cloth. You were not really comfortable with him taking off your shirt and pants to do that, but you had to admit you were grateful for his help, especially since you were in no condition to just get up and take a shower. He would submerge the cloth in warm water, sit down next to you on the bed and wipe the sweat and blood off your body.

„How long are you planning to stay here?” You asked during the third session, trying to take your mind off the fact that you didn’t really like strangers touching you, especially in such a vulnerable state.

„I don’t know,” he answered, not looking at your face. „Probably a few more days. I’ll wait until you can take care of yourself. But I can leave now if you want me to.”

You did and you didn’t. You had to admit that it was nice to have someone to talk to, but then again it was Higgs, a mass-murdering terrorist with strange powers that you couldn’t even begin to understand. And yet he did nothing to scare you so far. You figured he would’ve hurt you a long time ago if that’s what he was after. Apparently that was not the case.

„It’s fine,” you said, trying to adjust your position so that your back wouldn’t hurt as much. „I just… I don’t really understand what you’re doing here.”

„Mostly reading,” he answered with a silent chuckle. „But yeah, you probably have quite a lot of questions regarding what my plan is. Allow me to explain then. I have no plan. I’m just trying to find a new place for myself now that I’m no longer the herald of death.”

You blinked.

„Excuse me?”

„The extinction entity cut me loose. BRIDGES found and destroyed my hideout. I made so many enemies that it’s probably not a good idea to live close to other people. I’m sure that if you told BRIDGES where I am they would immediately hunt me down. So yeah, I guess I owe you one too. For not telling them, that is.”

You haven’t even thought about that, but now that he said it, it made perfect sense. One message or one phone call and they could be here in half an hour. But it’s not like it would be of any use.

„Why would I do that? You would probably just kill everyone, me included, and all my work would disappear in a voidout.”

He snorted.

„Yeah, I probably would.”

Something was off in his voice, but you decided not to pry any further. You couldn’t help but feel that the conversation was turning dangerous.

In a week the pain in your legs finally got bearable and you could stand up to take a shower. Higgs helped you get to the bathroom, holding one strong arm around your shoulders. You were surprised to notice that he was actually rather skinny - something you were not able to notice with all the clothes he was wearing. He left you by the door and returned to the couch, looking tired. Passing by the living room you noticed discarded wrappers, empty bags of crisps and sweets, but no plates or bowls of actual food. It puzzled you a little, but the thoughts left you as soon as you entered the shower and finally let the warm water run down your skin.

It wasn’t easy to move your arms and your body in general, but you managed somehow, washing yourself the best you could. It was amazing to finally feel clean, to finally be able to wash your hair. There were burn marks on your legs, a few leftover bruises and the still-healing cut on your cheek, but you had to admit it wasn’t that bad. It could’ve been a lot worse. You shook your head, trying not to think about what the MULEs were planning to do to you. You were fine. You were going to be fine, because he helped you. Even if he only did it because of his own selfish reasons, there was no denying that he basically saved you.

You suddenly felt wrong, not really being able to pinpoint the reason why.

When you put on some clean clothes and returned to the living room, you were surprised to see Higgs laying on the couch, curled up in a fetal position under a blanket, asleep. Now that you had more time, you took a better look at him. There was only one word coming to mind looking at him then. Vulnerable. Pale skin, bags under his eyes. What was the deal with this guy? From what you heard, he was supposed to be the most powerful human being on the entire planet.

You sat down next to him, trying to not wake him up. He shifted under the blanket, murmuring something under his breath. It was only then that you noticed a digital notepad laying on the table in front of you. It wasn’t yours, so it must’ve been him who left it there. Without giving it much thought, you reached out and grabbed it with your right hand, careful not to move too much both because of the pain and the fact that you didn’t really want him to know that you were going through his stuff. Still, it looked like he was working on it, so maybe it was going to give you some answers. Especially since he left it unlocked.

You noticed a few files on the desktop, all named using dates. You clicked the one featuring today’s one. When you noticed that it was just a wall of text, you decided to close it, but something stopped you. The title.

It was a journal.

Higgs was writing a journal.

You sent a quick glance his way to make sure that he was still sleeping. There was no movement from his side, so you decided to read through it.

You would have never expected to read what you did.

You’re all alone now. You’ve lost everything. Your mask, her quipu, the BB doll… gone.

You thought you had the power, that you were the one fated to lead them unto extinction… yet here you are, alone. You thought you were in control. That this was your role, your dream… The verge of victory, of oblivion for one and all… Herald, executioner, pawn. God particle? Hah. A stupid name for a stupid goddamn fool.

This was your life, Higgs. Your tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and righteous fury…

Signifying nothing.

You stared at the notepad, trying to wrap your head around what you just read. What was that supposed to mean? Was this what he meant by cut loose by the extinction entity? Or maybe…

Your train of thought was abruptly stopped by a hand snatching the notepad away from you. You screamed in surprise as Higgs was immediately upon you, hands pinning you down to the couch, one on your chest, one on your neck. Anger was burning in his eyes.

„You should not have done that,” he whispered through gritted teeth, face inches away from yours. „You really should not have done that.”

He squeezed hard, blocking your airway, bringing tears to your eyes.

God, why were you so damn stupid.

„I’m… sorry…” you wheezed, trying to take a breath, but his grasp got even tighter. „I didn’t… know…”

„Of course you didn’t,” he spat, his expression even more angry. „You think I did?”

Tears were falling down your face now, not allowing you to speak anymore. So this is it, you thought. Curiosity always kills the cat. And you were going to die here, Higgs was going to kill you with his bare hands, your shelter will be destroyed in a voidout and that would be it. Your life and research gone with a snap of his fingers.

And then, suddenly, his hands let go and he pulled away from you.

The breath you took felt like something that could rupture your lungs, burn through your entire body with the sheer force of your constricting muscles. But it didn’t. It left you gasping for more air, your neck hurting and bruised, incredibly painful. You blinked a few times to chase the tears away, wheezing as your body desperately pleaded for more oxygen. You moved away, sitting up instinctively, trying to protect yourself from the man in front of you. But he was just sitting there, a shadow of defeat present on his face.

It made your chest hurt once again, but this time it was an entirely different feeling.

„I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice coarse from the assault. „You’re right. I shouldn’t have touched your stuff.”

He didn’t answer. He just slumped on the couch, back under the blanket, turning away from you.

„It’s fine,” he said after what felt like hours, resignation obvious in his voice. „It’s not like it matters now anyway.”

You didn’t know what to do. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do? You had so many questions, but there was no way to ask them now. You didn’t want to make him angry, but there was obviously something wrong, something that made you think he wasn’t really the man he was said to be, at least now. Something that made you think he might’ve been through more than you and that he didn’t just look defeated.

He was defeated.

You stood up, massaging your neck and making your way into the kitchen. You needed some food to help you think. By the looks of your living room, he needed some real food too, so you decided to make something that would actually be both good and nutritious.

Going through your fridge, you were glad to see that most of your groceries were still good to go. You still had some vegetables from the timefall farm, some rice, some frozen chicken. Apparently Higgs only dug into your supply of protein bars and junk food. You felt a shiver run down your spine when you thought about his eating habits. Well, he still saved your life. And you were an idiot to look into his notepad, yes, but you could at least try and make it up to him somehow. You didn’t want to make him think that you weren’t grateful.

Although it might have been too late for that.

When you were done with the preparations you put the rice, the chicken and the vegetables into two bowls and went back into the living room. Higgs was awake, sitting on the couch and clicking frantically on his notepad. You felt another shiver, but suppressed it quickly and approached the couch, sitting down right next to him.

„Here,” you said, offering him one of the bowls. „I made some food.”

He looked at the bowl, a puzzled expression on his face.

„You’re not trying to poison me, are you?”

„No Higgs, I’m not. Eat. You could use some actual food.”

„I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

„Protein bars and crisps are not actual food.”

„Maybe for you.”

You were glad to notice that he was back to his usual demeanor, not sulking under the blanket. You took it as a good sign. He took the bowl from you and started eating, eyeing the first spoonful carefully.

„It’s not going to bite you.”

„Very funny,” he said, swallowing down a particularly big portion of vegetables. „Oh.”

„What?”

„It’s… it’s really good.”

You’ve never seen anyone eat so fast before. He devoured the entire bowl in what felt like seconds while you were still on your second bite. He must have noticed the surprise on your face, so he smiled a little and carefully put the bowl back on the table.

„There’s more if you want.”

„Yes please.”

He ate another serving of the meal just as fast, his look turning into disappointment when he was done. Ultimately he ended up eating another portion and only then did he finally seem sated.

„I take it that you liked it.”

„It was amazing,” he said, making you chuckle. „Really. It was the best meal I ever had.”

„Well, I’m glad. I need to rest now. Cooking was more exhausting than I thought, but the food made me feel better too.”

You sat on the couch for a while longer, Higgs looking weirdly confused. Apparently he wanted to say something more. So you just sat there looking at him until he finally sighed.

„I’m sorry,” his voice was soft, no angry undertone present anymore. „I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. I just… I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t planning on showing this to anyone. I guess I just had to let it out of my system somehow.”

You got more comfortable on the couch, your legs starting to hurt again. He moved, making more space for you.

„I know,” you said after a while. „We can agree it never happened if you promise not to do it ever again.”

„I promise,” he answered immediately, a pleading look on his face. „I do. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You smiled.

„Good,” you said, the stress and worry dissipating a little bit. „And I promise I’m never going to touch anything that belongs to you without your permission.”

„Thanks.”

„But we can talk about it if you want. About what’s bothering you so much, I mean. Maybe it’ll make you feel… better.”

He sighed again.

„There’s nothing to talk about. I’m done and it’s all over. Everything is gone. There’s nothing I can do or change in that matter.”

You moved a little to massage your legs. The muscles were still sore and you felt very weak. Starting with your feet, you moved upwards, kneading your calves carefully.

„Alright. I’m not going to pry. But I want you to know that you can talk to me. It’s the least I can do.”

„You already did more than enough,” he ran his hand through his hair. „Here, let me.”

You stopped moving and looked at him, puzzled.

„What?”

„You’re tired. Let me massage your legs for you. Sit back and relax.”

You were surprised with his offer, but did as you were told. Straightening your back to lay against the pillows on the couch, you extended your legs and he started massaging your left foot. It felt much better than your own hands, still weak and tired from an entire week of just laying down.

It was actually a very pleasant feeling.

„You don’t have to do this.”

„I want to. Shut up.”

Relaxing into the couch a little more, you groaned with disbelief and decided to just let it go. You sat like that for a few minutes, Higgs massaging your legs carefully and you feeling better and better with every passing minute.

„I guess it would do me good if I actually walked for a bit,” you said after a while, moving your legs away and placing your feet on the ground. „I do have to get stronger. I have to get back to work. Which reminds me… I think I noticed you taking my stuff back from the MULEs.”

„Ah, yes. I left these weird things by your bed. One might be broken though.”

„Doesn’t matter. I can always repair it. Making a new one would probably be… impossible,” you sighed, standing up and stretching. „Anyway, I guess I’ll try to slowly get to work. I’ll be in my study if you need me.”

„Study?”

„Yeah, this tiny room over there. I have my desk and instruments there. I’m gonna go through my calendar and figure out what I have to do.”

„Okay, but try not to overwork yourself. I’m not carrying you back to the bedroom.”

You snorted.

„I may not look like it, but I’m actually pretty resilient, you know.”

„Oh, that you are. But you’re also pretty stupid sometimes, so I’m saying it just in case.”

You rolled your eyes and left the living room, taking the chiral transmitters from the bedroom and placing them on the desk in your study. You were right; one was broken, but it wasn’t anything you won’t be able to fix.

Still, you figured it might be a good idea to give Heartman another call.

„Hey there,” you said as soon as your cufflink connection went through. „Just wanted to report that I’m feeling much better.”

„That’s great,” the scientist’s voice came from the speaker. He was obviously relieved. „I take it that you were resting?”

„I was, actually. But I think it’s high time I got back to work. I’m bored.”

Heartman laughed. His laugh always made your heart warmer.

„Good, good,” he said, voice soft and sweet as always. „I actually have some good news for you.”

„Go on.”

„We signed a contract with a security company working with BRIDGES. They will be patrolling the area between our settlements, so we won’t have to worry about MULEs any longer. They already started with the patrols too, so you’ll be safe to travel when you get better.”

„Are you saying that because you’re concerned about our safety or because you want to invite me over for tea?”

„Do I really have to choose?”

You both laughed for a while, his words always lightening your mood. Talking to him felt like home. After all, he was the closest thing you had to a family. You didn’t want him to worry about you too much, but being the kind-hearted man he was you knew it was impossible for him to just let this go. So you actually… lied to him a few times. Just so that you didn’t put even more strain on his poor heart.

You talked for a while longer, Heartman giving you updates about his most recent work so that you could jump right in. As soon as you were done, you decided to work on the broken chiralium transmitter first. Your back still hurt a little and your legs would cramp from time to time, but it was nothing you couldn’t live with. Still, you decided that three hours of work was enough and decided to get back to the bedroom and get some sleep.

You were expecting to find Higgs on the couch, minding his own business, but as soon as you entered the living room you noticed that something was off. It was quiet. Lifeless. The room was empty, two bowls you ate out of still on the table. There was no sign of Higgs in the bathroom or your bedroom either. You sat down on the couch, sighing deeply and feeling a sting of guilt in your stomach.

You didn’t expect him to leave so soon.

***

„I have to tell you something.”

You were sitting at a table in Heartman’s lab, a cup of tea in your hand. You left your shelter for the first time since the assault. It felt so long ago that you couldn’t believe it has just been a little over a month, especially since almost all of your injuries were perfectly healed by then.

„Oh?” Heartman’s tone was inquisitive, curious. „What’s that?”

„About the attack. I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

You noticed his expression shift into concern.

„What are you talking about?”

You reached for a gingerbread cookie and chewed on it, trying to find the right words.

„Can you promise me that it’s going to stay between us? I don’t want BRIDGES all over this.”

„Of course,” Heartman activated his cufflink and cut off all network connections just in case. „Please don’t tell me I have to be worried. Did they… what did they do to you?”

You looked around, following the lights of network switches going offline with your eyes. As soon as the last one was off, you sighed and moved a little closer to the table.

„There was a man,” you started, not really knowing how to put all of this into words; still, you knew you had to talk to someone and Heartman was the only person you trusted wholeheartedly. „He saved me. He took care of me. He brought me back to my shelter, nursed me back to health and disappeared. It has been bothering me ever since.”

Heartman blinked, opening his mouth to speak and closing it back immediately.

„A man? You mean, a stranger?”

„Not really. Well, I had no idea who he was at first, but then he introduced himself and I was sure he wanted to use me as a hostage or something. But he didn’t. He just sat there, saying that he lost everything and that he had nowhere to go, and that…”

„Y/N,” the look in Heartman’s eyes was soft, but also full of worry when he interrupted your sentence. „Who was this man?”

You sighed.

„Higgs Monaghan. It was Higgs Monaghan.”

Heartman’s eyes widened in obvious shock, a visible shiver running down his spine.

„That Higgs Monaghan?”

„Yes.”

„And you didn’t think it might be a good idea to tell me?”

„No, because I was sure that if BRIDGES learned about his whereabouts they would send a small army to hunt him down and he’d just kill everyone and send all my research to hell with a voidout!”

„Alright, alright,” Heartman’s tone changed to apologetic since he realized he might have upset you. „You’re sure it was him?”

„Yes.”

„But you said he took care of you. It doesn’t make any sense. Why would he?”

„I don’t know. He said he figured I could take him in for a few days and that I probably had food. I figured it’s the least I could’ve done to repay him. He did save me from the MULEs, you know.”

Heartman looked puzzled, obviously going through what he just heard in his head.

„I have a hypothesis,” he said after a while. „I already shared it with Sam and Die-Hardman. I think it would make a lot of sense if what you’re saying is true.”

„Meaning?”

„Meaning that we believe Higgs lost his powers after he lost the connection to Amelie. He was supposed to wander the Beach for all eternity, but the extinction entity brought him back to our world. Powerless.”

Suddenly, it all clicked.

„My God, you might be right. I accidentally read his journal and it was… he seemed so defeated. He wrote about being alone, about losing everything. At the time I didn’t understand what it could mean. But God, you can be right.”

Heartman put his cup of tea back on the table and moved his wrist to open something on his cufflink.

„Look,” he said, showing you a chart analyzing a BB doll. „We ran tests on the dolls, actually being able to confirm that they acted as conduits between Amelie and her pawns. Higgs had one just like that. I believe that when Amelie took the doll away from him, he didn’t lose his powers per se, just the connection to the source. But we don’t know how it might affect him. Have you seen him use his powers?”

„No,” you admitted, trying to recall the events of the assault. „I remember MULEs beating me up and some very blurry scenes. I don’t know if it was him attacking them or anything.”

„Well, we must assume that my theory might be true. Still, there is no power source even half as great as Amelie. If he truly did lose it, there’s no way he’s getting it back.”

You suddenly felt your chest tighten with pain. Why would that affect you so much?

Heartman closed the chart and brought his cup of tea back to his lips, taking a long sip.

„Why save me then?” You asked suddenly, rather asking yourself than Heartman.

„There are a few options. One, he figured he might use you somehow. Two, he wanted what you had for himself. Three, he’s actually powerless and lost. Four… all of the above, I guess.”

„What if it’s number three? What if he actually has nowhere to go?”

Heartman straightened his back in the chair, obviously concerned. Not for Higgs though; his concern was for you.

„Well… with all the people currently after him, I don’t really think he has a chance to live much longer. Not after what he’s done. I’m not going to report him to BRIDGES, but I think you should. It’s only a matter of time before they find him.”

„You think they’re going to kill him?”

„I wouldn’t be surprised.”

You wouldn’t have been surprised either. And yet somehow it felt so wrong to judge this man like that.

God, what a mess, you thought. What an actual, fucked up mess.

***

You thought that talking to Heartman might make you feel better; in reality, it made you feel a lot worse.

Coming back to your shelter from his lab you felt your heart growing heavier with every passing second. The thing was, you knew all the things that were said about Higgs. But you also knew this side of him that was so unlike anything you’ve heard. The side where he actually saved your life, for that matter. Even if it was just a coincidence for him, it definitely meant much more for you. You owed him more than you could ever possibly repay and it made you so angry that you will probably never have a chance to even try and return the favor.

Trying to organize your thoughts somehow you didn’t even notice how close you were to your shelter already. Moving along a narrow path leading almost exactly to the entrance, you could’ve sworn you caught yourself mumbling. Stopping for a while to adjust your backpack, you were glad to see that the pathway was actually safe this time. Ever since the BRIDGES patrols started showing up, there were no MULE sightings whatsoever. You stretched, took a few sips of water and continued the walk, trying to calm down and think about work for once.

When you arrived at your shelter it was already getting dark, the evening breeze a little too cold for your liking. It was also pretty foggy, making the valley appear much more ominous than it actually was. You heard the familiar robotic voice informing you that you ID has been recognized and just as you were supposed to enter you heard another sound, one you have actually never heard before.

„WARNING. INTRUDER ALERT. WARNING. WARNING.”

You started looking around frantically, trying to subdue the panic starting to rise in your stomach. Nobody knew you lived there; nobody knew anyone lived there! If your location has been compromised, you would probably have to find a new place. Fuck this. Where was this damn intruder?

You looked around, noticing no change to the surroundings whatsoever. Only then did you notice something weird on the rocks just north of the entrance, a dark smear of some sort. Approaching it carefully and looking more closely, you felt a shiver run down your spine.

It was blood. Fresh blood.

And there was a lot of it.

Too scared to move, you followed the bloody trail with your eyes first. It didn’t start by the rocks, it started much earlier. The problem was that is led directly to the entrance of your shelter. And over there…

You couldn’t believe your own eyes.

There was someone laying there in a pool of blood, wearing heavy boots, a weird cape, cargo pants and… oh my God.

It was Higgs.

Throwing caution to the wind, you were by his side in seconds. Checking for his pulse, you felt incredibly relieved when you found out he wasn’t dead, just very weak. You turned him carefully to see what injuries would cause such massive blood loss, finding three deep cuts on his stomach and leg. It was then that he opened his eyes, face extremely pale, and smiled at you weekly.

„I’m sorry,” you heard him say, his voice barely above a whisper. „I… didn’t know where else to go. But it might have been a bad idea… if I die… I didn’t…”

„Shut up,” you said, feeling tears welling up in your eyes for no apparent reason. „Shut up. Don’t talk. You lost a lot of blood.”

Trying very hard to keep pressure on the wounds, you managed to help him up and then inside, placing him on the bed and removing his clothes immediately. The cuts were bad but it was not the only thing you noticed. There were also bruises and burns all over his body, all of them relatively fresh. You also realized that the fingers in his right hand were broken and that his fingernails were gone. Not really wanting to think about it too much right then, you felt the adrenaline kick in immediately. You needed to help him and you needed to be fast.

You didn’t have a lot of medical experience, but what you did have should be enough. You managed to clean and sew the two deepest cuts, making sure he won’t be losing any more blood. He needed a transfusion though and there was no way he would have been able to tell you what blood type he had. Taking a small sample and waiting for the results you cleaned some of the burns, two of them obviously chemical, covering the wounds with special dressings that were supposed to speed up the healing process. Focusing on his hand, or rather what was left of it, you noticed something else. A few thin, long lines across his wrists, obviously old and well-healed. You ran your fingers along them, noticing how much blood you had on your hands.

„D-don’t,” you heard Higgs say through gritted teeth, „Don’t let d-daddy see, he’s going to hurt me, p-please don’t let him see-”

He was obviously delirious, mumbling under his breath, but the words hit you like a freight train. You realized then that you had absolutely no idea who the man on your bed was and what he has been through. You knew what he did, but you had no idea why he did it. And you were more and more curious with each passing second, so many contradictory facts only messing with your head more.

Now was not the time to think about it though. The blood test was done and you immediately used your terminal to fabricate three blood bags, making sure it was offline for the duration of the process so that nobody could notice you using it for a blood type that wasn’t your own. Hooking Higgs up to the first one, you turned your attention to his hand. Every single finger was broken and apparently his fingernails were torn. Was he tortured? What the hell happened to him?

Cleaning his fingers you realized there would be no way for you to fix them with your medical expertise. Taking a 3D scanner from your study you quickly scanned his left hand, mirrored the image and quickly designed a special two-part cast that would push his bones in place when snapped together. It took ten minutes for your chiral printer to fabricate the design; unfortunately attaching it to Higgs’ hand obviously caused him a lot of pain as he screamed so loud you swore it almost ruptured your eardrums.

„I’m sorry,” you said, placing a hand on his forehead and noticing he was burning up. „It’s okay now. I’m so sorry. I’ll give you something for the pain and some antibiotics soon. Just stay with me, okay?”

„Okay,” he said weekly, looking straight into your eyes. „O… kay.”

There were tears running down the sides of his face. You used your thumbs to wipe them away, suddenly feeling this weird sensation in your throat. Compassion? Hurt? You had no idea. The only thing you did know was that you couldn’t bear the pain so obvious in his gaze, burning through you with intensity you have never experienced before.

You were not going to let him die.

You prepared an IV that was supposed to help him both with the pain and the fever, carefully tapping into one of his veins. When you were done you went through his entire body, checking for additional injuries, luckily not finding anything life-threatening. You could tell some of his ribs were broken though. Unfortunately you didn’t have any equipment to perform a scan, so you quickly placed an order for the Doctor to send you one. And then, four hours later, you were done.

Exhausted and covered in blood, but fucking done.

You sat down on the bed next to Higgs, not even trying to stop the tears from falling anymore. It could have been the chiral allergy for all you knew, or the exhaustion. Or the overflowing feelings you didn’t know how to deal with. You used the back of your hands to wipe the dears away, only realizing that you just smeared blood on your entire face. Perfect. Just what you needed.

You moved a little closer to Higgs, taking a damp cloth and wiping the blood and sweat from his face. He still looked distressed, but at least he wasn’t that pale anymore.

„Y-you need to run,” he said, obviously still delirious, now probably even more due to the meds you had him on. „You need to go. If he finds you… h-he’s going to hurt you too…”

„It’s fine,” you said, pressing your hand to his forehead again. „Nobody’s here but us. You’re safe here. I got you.”

„N-no, you don’t understand,” it made your chest hurt seeing him in such distress. „We’re not allowed… to go outside, he will… kill me this time, he-”

„Nobody’s going to kill you, Higgs. You’re fine. You just need to rest.”

„B-but he will. He will, you have to make sure to hide the bruises… he hates them…”

You had no idea what he was talking about, but it did strange things to you. It made you feel sorry for him. You knew you shouldn’t have felt that way, but you couldn’t have helped it.

So you stood up and left the bedroom, deciding to take a shower and collect your thoughts.

It was going to be a long night.

***

You woke up because of the pain in your neck, trying to move your head to switch to a more comfortable position. It was only then that you realized you were actually sitting down on a chair, arms folded on the bed and your head resting on top of them. Great. As if the soreness wasn’t enough. Why were you here anyway?

The events of the night started coming back to you slowly just as you looked up to see Higgs laying on your bed, blood everywhere, discarded towels and fragments of clothing on the floor. You sighed. It was a hell of a battle. Probably the toughest you ever had to face.

Getting up and taking a better look at him, you were glad to see that he was no longer so pale and that even though his face was still covered with blood and dirt he actually looked peaceful. There was no additional swelling in his hand either. You sighed with relief as a temperature scan revealed that his fever was also going down. No longer running on adrenaline, you felt your stomach do a flip, reminding you that it was high time you ate something. You decided to leave Higgs in peace and went into the kitchen to grab some fruit.

You were tempted to call Heartman then, to talk to him and ask him for advice, but you didn’t want to put this kind of responsibility on him. He’s already done more than enough by keeping your little secret. You also noticed that the urgent order you placed with the Doctor has already arrived at your delivery terminal. Retrieving the package and using the scanner on Higgs immediately you were relieved to see that only two of his ribs were broken and than no organs were damaged. You allowed yourself a deep sigh of relief as you sat down on the bed.

Higgs was asleep. No longer unconscious, but asleep. The meds really did help his pain. His lips were slightly parted, blowing soft puffs of air with every rise and fall of his chest. Without thinking much, you reached out and nuzzled his cheek with the knuckles of your right hand. As soon as you realized what you were doing though you stood up, angry at yourself. You shouldn’t be touching him. You shouldn’t even be close to him before you get to know what’s going on.

You went into the bathroom to retrieve a cloth and a bowl of warm water, coming back to the bed to wash Higgs a little more thoroughly. It was strange to still remember so vividly how he did the exact same thing for you not so long ago. The only difference was that he was in a much worse shape.

When you were done with the washing you gathered the bloody towels, brought back a new pillow and covered Higgs with an additional blanket. Seeing as there was not much more you could have done, you decided to get back to work and just let him rest.

Except there was no way for you to focus right now. Every single time you tried to go back to your research you would find your mind wandering, thinking about the man in your bedroom and about what he said during the night. He was obviously talking about a very specific person that he was sure was going to hurt him. At the beginning he mentioned daddy. Was he really that afraid of his father or was it something he was just remembering? And if it was just memories, why now?

So many questions and not a single answer. You groaned, burying your face in your hands, massaging your forehead. You had no idea what to do. For the first time in your life. It felt like something was happening that was entirely out of control and you hated this type of situations. The worst thing was that you felt like you couldn’t really talk to anyone about it or even ask someone for support. How were you supposed to take care of man who has nearly died? You did have some medical knowledge, yes, but definitely not to that extent. So you decided to just browse through the chiral network to try and find some useful information. Writing down notes and going through some documents from the Doctor, you ultimately didn’t realize how much time has passed when you were done.

You went back to the bedroom to check on Higgs. He was still asleep, looking a lot more comfortable than earlier. You replaced his IV, checked his temperature and sat on the bed again.

Looking at his peaceful expression made you feel uncomfortable. You couldn’t really pinpoint the reason why. You heard so many awful things about this man and yet here he was, looking so… human. You figured Heartman’s theory might have been correct. If he let anyone do this to him, he must’ve been unable to fight back. Maybe he really did lose his powers.

You noticed him stir, murmuring something under his breath. When his eyes opened and he focused his gaze on you, you instinctively tried reassuring him with a smile. He looked so lost and confused that for a while you thought he might not even know where he was.

„Wh…,” he tried to speak, but you hushed him by placing your hand on his cheek.

„Don’t talk,” you said, surprised with the hoarseness of your own voice. „You’re safe. And you’re going to be okay. Just take it easy.”

He blinked a few times, looking around the room. Apparently it was all coming back to him now that he was awake.

„I, uh…”

„You’re in my bedroom, Higgs. I took care of your wounds, so you can say that we’re square now. Do you want something to drink?”

That was when he realized your hand was still on his cheek. He leaned into it gently, closing his eyes and nodding.

„Y… yes.”

„I’ll be right back.”

He must have been both hungry and thirsty at the same time, so you figured water might not be the best choice. Instead you warmed up some almond milk to make sure it would be good for his stomach and at least a little nutritious. You brought a mug back to the bedroom and helped him up a little, adjusting a metal straw just so he could drink comfortably. He drank greedily but you took it as a good sign. Obviously his stomach was able to take it too.

„Thank you,” he said when he was done as you placed the mug on a table behind you. „I… I probably would’ve been dead now if it wasn’t for you.”

„It’s possible,” you said, wiping his mouth with your sleeve. „I’d say you were pretty close. Can you tell me what happened? Who did this to you?”

Higgs sighed, obviously trying to collect his thoughts.

„The MULEs,” he said after a while. „I think they heard that I could no longer use my powers to the extent that I would have liked and decided to, well… set some things straight. Let’s just say that it wasn’t the most pleasant encounter in my life.”

He snorted with something that was probably supposed to be a laugh but went into a coughing fit seconds later. You held him up, placing one hand on the back of his head.

„Believe it or not, but I could tell. How did you manage to escape?”

„Coincidence. A porter was driving through the area and those idiots left me alone to try and get him. So i used the very last ounce of power I still had in me to teleport away from there. Unfortunately, it made me too weak to even be able to walk, but I managed to crawl my way to safety. And then I got here. I figured… if anyone…”

You were waiting for him to finish the sentence, but he never did. So you brought some more warm almond milk from the kitchen and sat next to him again, allowing him to drink at his own pace.

„You figured I would help you,” you said, holding the mug close to his face. „And you were right.”

„I guess I was.”

Silence fell between the two of you, interrupted only by the sound of him swallowing mouthfuls of liquid from the mug.

„So is it true? Did you really lose your powers?”

When he was done drinking he laid back on the bed and sighed.

„It is and then it isn’t. I mean, you see the state I’m in. But on the other hand, I didn’t lose the power itself. I was just cut from the source.”

So Heartman was right, you thought.

„The source being Amelie?”

„Precisely. That pretentious bitch used me and then just threw me away when she no longer needed me. I guess I deserved it though. I wasn’t exactly the kindest person, you know.”

„So it was her pulling all the strings? Fording you to do these things?”

„You can say that,” he sighed again, this time deeper. „She was smart about choosing her minions. I guess that’s what happens when you give unlimited power to someone who’s never had any his entire life.”

So that’s what it was about? Trying to make up for helplessness and the inability to control your own life? You didn’t want to jump to any conclusions yet, but it did seem awfully possible. Especially knowing about Amelie’s role in all of this.

„Alright,” you said, desperate for some answers but not really wanting to exhaust the man any further. „Let me see if your fever has gone down.”

You reached out with your hand to place it on his forehead and something unexpected happened. He flinched. Flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to move away from you. It was just two seconds altogether, but even though you were puzzled at first it ultimately made so much sense. Especially in connection to what he has been saying.

„I’m not going to hurt you,” you said, trying to sound calm. „I just want to touch your forehead. Can I do that?”

Obviously surprised with his own reaction he nodded, eyes wide open and fixated on you. You tried not to think about it too much even though your thoughts were racing.

You only noticed how tense he was when you finally placed the hand on his forehead and felt his body relax under your touch.

„Sorry,” he whispered, flashing you a toothy grin. „Old habits die hard, I guess.”

You didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to ask.

But the pain in your chest was not getting any better.

You eventually did place the hand on his forehead and noticed with relief that he no longer had a fever. Still, what happened shook you up a little and you decided to just leave him alone for a while. You sat down in your study and noticed a message from Heartman with a few files attached.

I just got this from Sam, it said. I think you should see this.

Attached were twenty six parts of what you immediately recognized to be Higgs’ journal.

***

You spent the next few days basically walking on eggshells. You had no idea how to confront Higgs about what you read, especially remembering how angry he got when you read that single entry over a month ago. On the other hand, you couldn’t pretend that you didn’t know. You were such a bad liar. So you kept telling yourself that you were just going to wait for the right moment.

Luckily Higgs was feeling better with every passing day. After a little more than a week he was able to get up from the bed and walk around the shelter on his own. You were also able to remove the stitches from the wounds you sutured and to adjust the cast for better healing of his bones. He was also finally able to eat solid food, eagerly waiting for every single dish you would whip up for him.

One day you decided to make something sweet and maybe get him to talk a little more. You baked a simple cheesecake and brought it into the living room where Higgs was laying on the couch. He sent a puzzled look your way, eyeing the tray you were carrying with curiosity.

„Why does this smell so nice?” He asked, sitting up immediately.

„It’s a cake. They always smell nice.”

„A cake?!”

The excitement in his voice both surprised and amused you. You set the tray down on the table and watched him devour the cheesecake piece by piece. You had to snatch a piece for yourself to even be able to try it at all.

When he was finally done you saw him relax back into the couch, blissful expression on his face as he wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand. You sat back too, figuring it might indeed be a good moment to start a conversation.

„So Higgs,” you started, eyeing his face carefully for any signs of discomfort. „What wre you going to do now?”

He sat up a little, making sure to keep eye contact.

„I have no idea, darling. Honestly, I’m surprised I’m still alive. So many people out to get me and it was the MULEs who did it first? I’m pretty sure BRIDGES is going to hunt me down as soon as I step out of this shelter, especially since my powers are, well, useless. And it’s not like I can just stay here forever, no matter how charming you find me, right?”

You sighed. It wasn’t going to be easy.

„If you could go anywhere and do anything, what would you do?”

You noticed a shift in his attitude. He couldn’t deflect all your questions with his weird sense of humor.

„Well, I would probably go somewhere far away, maybe even beyond the mountains, and just stay there until the rest of my days. In fact, I was trying to do just that before the MULEs stopped me. I’ve learned my lesson, you know.”

„What lesson?”

„Wherever I go, destruction follows, even if I don’t really want it to happen. You know it well enough, sweetheart. And I would hate it if anything happened to you.”

„Me? Why is that?”

„You’re probably the only person ever who was nice to me. Hell, you saved my life. Although maybe it would be better if I was gone, you know. I don’t really want to die, no, but I figured just leaving would do the trick. Only it’s not going to be as easy as I initially thought.”

You felt a sting in your heart at these words. And then you remembered what you read in the journals. He never really had anyone. Or anything, for that matter.

„Why did you do it?”

„Did what?”

„All those things to all those people. You know, with nukes and Homo Demens at your disposal.”

He sighed. It was a heavy sigh, one that you could almost feel the weight of in your own chest.

„I thought it would be the only way for me to have something, you know. I had all these followers, I had this power. I never felt so… alive. And Amelie, this fucking bitch, she knew exactly what buttons to press. She promised me so many things and I fell for it like a kid who just got offered candy. She promised I would be important, respected. Feared. And I was, but so what? It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter at all.”

You moved a little closer to him, trying to make sure that he could look you right in the eyes when you started talking.

„I understand you did things you’re not proud of,” you said, making sure to choose words carefully. „But it’s not too late, you know.”

„Yeah right. Try telling that to BRIDGES.”

„I just might. But I need to know what your plans are. It seems to me like you didn’t really want to do any of these things.”

„Of course I didn’t!” you could clearly hear anger in his voice. „I just… I thought it might be the only way for me to have something. To have her, I don’t know, someone who cared. That if I did what she said I might feel welcome. Or wanted. I know it was stupid, but there’s only so much one can take, right?!”

You did not expect those words to fall from his lips, but they hit you right when it hurt most. The constant need to be appreciated. To be praised by someone. To feel needed. You knew this feeling all too well, but you had people around you who were always eager to give you so much of it.

Judging from his words, he never had any in his entire life. No wonder he turned out to be so broken.

„I know, Higgs. I know,” you said, trying to make your voice sound as calm as possible. „I know exactly what you mean. It just seemed to me that you picked fear instead of respect out of worry that there was no other way.”

„Because there wasn’t. My own family hated me. My own father, well, uncle, do you know what he did to me? He kept me locked in a shelter for as long as I can remember, beating me up every single time I wanted to even take a look outside. He would beat me so badly that I could barely walk. How could there have been any other way?”

„I’m very sorry to hear that. It sounds terrible, and…”

„It was terrible. But then he died and I was finally able to leave the shelter, and you know what? I was happy. I was a porter, you know? And I loved this job. Except people were still afraid of me, high DOOMs levels and shit. So I figured, why change that? Why work my ass of to prove something they wouldn’t believe anyway? I should just find a way to be more powerful. But if you base everything you are on power, what do you have left when it’s gone? Nothing. You’re suddenly left with nothing, no fear, no respect. Nobody would even care if you’re gone. Just like I never cared about my father. Just like I felt relieved when he died, everybody else would if I did.”

„That’s not true.”

„What can you know? You sit here in your fancy shelter, do your fancy work with your fancy friends. I bet you’ll all be drinking tea soon, talking about stupid Higgs who finally got what he deserved, and…”

You felt anger rising within you this time.

„Shut up! You know nothing about my life. And I care about you, okay? That’s why I brought you in. I could’ve just left you outside to die and then take you to an incinerator, but I didn’t. Not because I owed you one, but because I cared, okay?! Because I don’t believe you’re as shit as you want everyone to believe! I figured you had more in you. And I’m pretty sure I was correct.”

He opened his eyes wide, looking at you with disbelief.

„You… what?!”

„I know a broken man when I see one. And yes, you are a little shit, but it’s no wonder considering what kind of childhood you had. So maybe try and be nice for once.”

„I’m always nice!”

„Oh, come on. I knew you weren’t the monster everyone’s picturing you to be. You saved me from the MULEs, for fucks’ sake. You could’ve left me there and just taken my cufflink to navigate you here, but you didn’t. And you fucking nursed me back to health. You may be an idiot, yes, an idiot with really bad manners. But I’m pretty sure you have it in you to be a little… I don’t know, more likable?”

Higgs shrugged, obviously uncomfortable, but that was good. At least he was listening.

„I’m not heartless, you know?” He said, sending an accusatory gaze your way. „I just… I learned to not depend on other people. With you… I may be an idiot like you said, but I really do believe that you care about me.”

You rolled your eyes. This fucking guy.

„Well, it’s about time you did. I was really trying to make it clear.”

Was he… was he smiling?

„You’re right. I’m sorry. I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me. Hell, nobody has ever done even half of what you did for me. But I… I don’t have anything to give you in return.”

„I didn’t do this to get something in return, Higgs.”

„Then why? Why did you help me?”

He surprised you with this question. You didn’t really know what to say because you didn’t really know the reason why yourself.

„I don’t know.”

„And you’re saying I’m the broken one.”

You reached for one of the pillows and threw it his way without even thinking about it. He chuckled and caught it with his left hand with no effort whatsoever.

„I just…” you said, still baffled. „I just didn’t want you to be alone.”

„I never wanted to be alone either. Look where it got me.”

You made up your mind then. Sitting up, you gestured with your hands, getting more comfortable on the couch.

„Come here,” you said, trying to encourage him.

„Where?”

„Here. I’m not going to hurt you. I want to hug you.”

He was obviously surprised with what you said, but moved forward nonetheless. Kneeling between your legs he slowly lowered his body into your welcoming embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist. He looked up at you then, head resting on your chest as you tangled one of your hands into his hair and placed the other on the small of his back. You could feel a shiver running down his spine, a shiver he was not even trying to hide.

He eased into you then, muscles suddenly relaxing and giving in to your touch. His left hand pressed softly into your back, pulling on the fabric of your shirt. You lowered your head and buried your face in his hair, nuzzling the skin there with your nose.

It felt good. It felt safe.

„So this is what it feels like,” he said softly, his voice bringing you back to reality.

„Depends,” you answered, smiling. „But yes, it’s usually very nice.”

He shifted a little, moving his head so that his face was resting in the crook of your neck. You felt his warm breath against your skin.

„I’ve never… been that close with anyone,” there was a strange tone to his voice; something you couldn’t really pinpoint. „It feels… strange.”

„We can stop if you’d like.”

„No. Please.”

The last sentence came out a little desperate, raspy, almost as if he was actually scared you would push him away. But you weren’t going to. This has already gone too far and you were not going to back away now.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed you. And that you needed him, even if you couldn’t understand it yet.

So you brought him even closer, hand still in his hair, lips pressing against his ear.

„I’m here,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. „I’m here and I’ll take care of you.”

He moved then, moved his head to look you straight in the eyes. You almost felt you head spin from the intensity of his gaze. He placed his forehead against yours, nuzzling your nose with his.

„You will?”

„I promise.”

When he pressed his lips against yours you weren’t sure he knew exactly what he was doing, but you welcomed him, welcomed his gesture and welcomed his trust. Biting his lower lip you made him open his mouth, sliding your tongue against his. He moaned then, not even trying to hide it, letting you do whatever you please and pressing into you even more, shifting a little to get more comfortable. He reached out to bury his hand in your hair too, pulling you closer, resting his weight on you even more.

That’s when you noticed he was painfully hard.

„Higgs,” you whispered right into his mouth. „Take it easy, slow down-”

„No, please,” he was begging again, whispering right into your mouth. „Please don’t stop. You feel so good.”

As messy as your kisses were, you had to admit they did have a powerful effect on you too. You couldn’t remember when was the last time someone kissed you. But this? You wanted this, you wanted it more than anything in the world right now. You wanted him any way he would allow.

But today was about Higgs and his comfort. About making him feel good. After all, you did make a promise. Might start taking care of him now.

Not breaking the kiss, you reached down between your bodies to slide his pants down. He moaned into your mouth again, biting your lower lip, chasing every sound you were making with his tongue.

„Higgs-” you wanted to ask for permission, to warn him, but he didn’t even let you.

„Pleasepleaseplease don’t stop, oh please… oh fuck!”

Your hand slid behind the waistband of his pants and grabbed him hard, moving agonizingly slow from head to base. He was a mess in your hands, the words he was saying to longer intelligible.

„I’m here,” you whispered, biting his lower lip. „You’re safe here. I got you.”

He came hard then, your name on his lips followed by a string of yeses and ohs. You held him through it, not letting his lips go even for a second. The look on his face was so blissful, so sweet you felt another violent pull in your heart.

This time though it was an entirely different type of feeling.

He collapsed onto you, once again burying his face in the crook of your neck. You kissed the top of his head, removing your hand from where it was sandwiched between your bodies. You wiped it on one of the pillows, making a mental note to take care of it later. The only other thing you managed to do was reach for a blanket and pull it over the both of you, earning a content sigh from Higgs.

„That was… so good,” he said, voice still shaky, mumbling against your skin.

„Yes it was,” you smiled, nuzzling his hair with your nose. „We’re in this together, Higgs. We’ll find a way to get through this.”

„I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you,” he said after a while. „As I said, I’m bad luck. Really bad luck. But I… I also don’t want to be away from you.”

„I understand. We’ll figure something out.”

„We will.”

„That’s what I just said.”

„I know, it’s just… it feels so good to say we and mean… me and you.”

You smiled again. He could be nice sometimes.

„Yes. Me and you.”

#death stranding #death stranding imagine #death stranding x reader #death stranding fanfiction #higgs x reader #higgs monaghan x reader

324 notes · View notes

starlightsoulwriting · 4 years

Text

L’appel du Vide

Cliff Unger x Reader

L'appel du Vide (n.) The unexplainable desire to jump when on the edge of a cliff Call of The Void AO3 Link

[Prologue][x][2]

Part One

Eight Months Later

It started with one.

One porter going missing on his way back to Mountain Knot Waystation.

It wasn’t uncommon - bad things happened to people out on the mountains. Even a small injury could turn deadly out there. What was strange, however, was that GPS and communications went dark in the middle of a call. He’d been cut off mid-sentence with a scream. A search call had been issued as soon as his team lost contact - there’d been no time to waste. Whether he was alive or dead, they were on a clock.

They searched for a week and a half.

There was no Voidout, no BTs, no crater - no porter. Bridges had even swept through with whole teams of people to make sure the MULEs weren’t up to something more shady than usual. There was nothing there either.

He had just vanished.

You couldn’t find him, either - and you’d tried. Even with all the Bridges cameras you hacked into borrowed and every facial recognition software the world had salvaged. The last trace of him was at his delivery. As soon as he stepped out sight, he was a ghost.

Then came the next two.

A small-town medicine runner in Capital Knot vanished a month later, and then only a week later it was a civilian. No-one had heard from any of them since they vanished. Some were theorizing it was something new - some new DOOMS phobia, or even theories of BTs that wouldn’t cause Void-outs. Others thought they had been taken by some psycho group like the now disbanded Homo Demens. There were lots of bad people out there.

But then a boy from your town went missing, and you were faced with the task of joining a search party.

Rami was a teenager with dreams of saving the world by making sure everyone had what they needed; he practically idolized Sam, and asked for an autograph every time he saw you. You didn’t have any, of course, but you could tell him what an amazing job he was doing, and that people like him were the backbone of the UCA.

He’d liked it when you told him that.

You hated the thought of him being stranded somewhere alone, with the threat of timefall and BTs still looming, no matter how rare. Even without that it would be hard - it was a long way from a Bridges medical center from here. Everyone in town had emergency medical training - but there was only so far that would go without more equipment - equipment Bridges hasn’t let you print because you’re independent, and only UCA gets high-level printing privileges.

The team of doctors was a few days out, minimum.

So if Rami was hurt, he would be dead soon, terrified and alone. Winter was closing in fast. Nighttime would bring hypothermia, and with it a trip to the beach. And if he was already dead? It was a sure thing Voidout - one that would catch you and your family. Either way, bad news.

It wasn’t often you poked your head out of the shelter for anything but your greenhouse, but you scrambled into your timefall gear and strapped on your (fav color) Odradek nonetheless. Anxiety writhed in your chest, a pit gnawing its way through to your stomach. He was such a nice kid. You wanted desperately to find him, but were also all too aware that you probably wouldn’t - twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. He was probably just as disappeared as the others. You went out hoping you were wrong.

Others in your group scattered, too. There were only about twenty of you out there - one person missing was a huge deal.

You tried not to think of how lonely he must be out there. Your hands shook in your gloves, warmth beginning to flood your system. Your eyes watered as you remembered yourself growing cold on the back of Sam’s bike. Almost dying.

But now wasn’t the time to think about that.

At the edge of your sensor line you paused and stared at the thin holographic strip that separated you and the rest of the world. It kept you safe - kept out intruders. Outside, all you had was yourself and your Odradek. This would be the first time in three months you stepped outside the comforting watch of your security system.

You were terrified.

But you had checked the security feeds this morning. There was nothing out here but your home group, a few MULE Camps and some BTs. Nothing that you hadn’t dealt with before. You’d been wandering like a porter by the time you were ten. But outside… was not looking very friendly at the moment. Not with people going missing. Not with Higgs still alive.

Cool wind on your face. Fall mountain air. The plastic crinkle of your suit. The soft ping of your Odradek. You focused on these things instead of your thoughts. He couldn’t get you out here. He had no reason to.

You stepped over the line.

Now for the hard part. You were out of shape, but the terrain was the same you’ve been scrambling on since you were young. You knew which ridges were steeper than they looked, or which caves made the best shelter from the rain. You knew which ones led to cliffs, or which were best treated like a slide on the way down. Your breath came out as puffs of mist and your lungs were cold but you felt home for the first time in months. If only it would last for more than just the day. But as soon as you found Rami reality would settle back in and you would hide again, this much you knew for certain.

Sometimes you could see people searching in the distance, but a quick ping said they were just other members of the search team. Even the MULEs were looking for him - you saw a few wandering - they knew just as well as anyone they were fucked if he necrotized. You wondered idly if your old friend Gurao was out searching with his band of gremlins. Probably. He was a thief but he kept his people safe.

Although maybe he would just want to jack the cargo Rami was carrying. Who knows. Probably both.

Either way, more people was a good thing.

You huffed up over a particularly annoying ridge - one you’d broken your leg on when you were twelve - and you paused, straightening.

Something was wrong here. Like someone had just repatriated - DOOMS wriggled around your senses, like a bunch of worms made home in your stomach and then took LSD.

This particular type of warning wasn’t like the one for BTs. No, this felt like the rippling waves that ran through the beach when Sam died and forced his way back. A pit opened up in your chest, and you started pinging your Odradek faster than was useful. It wasn’t picking up anything, but someone was out here! You could feel it. It wasn’t Rami - he wasn’t a repatriate - but it was still somebody who’d just died. Someone confused and hurt.

Well, if your Dek couldn’t cut it, then you would just have to find them yourself.

You sat down, closing your eyes. There was no sign of anyone, at least that you could see. But you could find them, you knew it. You just had to be fast before you lost the thread. It was like knowing where someone was speaking from, even with a blindfold on - except much fainter, harder to discern. You made a face, eyebrows furrowing, trying to find where it was the strongest…

There!

You shot to your feet, almost toppling over, and jogged-stumbled down the slope, catching yourself on rocks as you let gravity do the work for you. But it didn’t matter, you were running as fast as was safe. Repatriation was a horror show on a good day and literal, actual hell on a bad one.

You hoped today was a good day.

You turned a corner and into a shallow cave, heart racing. There he was, in mismatched protective gear, with no Odradek to be seen. He had containers of food and medicine with him, ID chips torn off the side.

You knew of these types. Desperate souls not in association with anyone - MULEs or Bridges. No permanent shelter, always moving. The type of people that ended up either dead or a villain with a tragic backstory, taking what lost cargo they could find and surviving. Of course he wouldn’t have an ID ping on your Dek, he didn’t have an ID to begin with.

He was still unconscious when you got close to him. He had obviously been here a while. There was blood puddled on the floor. His hood was up and he was just soaked in blood. So… so much blood. Blood on your hands, on the floor, it was everywhere…

You swallowed and pushed those thoughts away. That wasn’t helpful now. You could have a nervous breakdown later. (You also ignored your thoughts of the stories you’d heard about repatriates getting caught in death loops.)

You knelt next to him, pulling a med scanner from your belt with shaking hands. It wasn’t as accurate or comprehensive as the Bridges kit, but it would do. There was obviously a lot of blood loss, which you looked steadfastly away from - but it was in survivable range now. The magic of repatriation, you supposed. There were no open wounds or internal bleeding. Bones were fine.

It was when you lowered his hood that you had the shock of the year.

It was Cliff!

How the fuck had that happened? He’d been dead for forty years!

Was there a time limit on repatriation? You didn’t know. Shit, you needed to call Heartman and ask.

You hesitated to touch his face to see if he had any lingering scalp damage - a lot of the blood had come from his head. Your awkwardness got the best of you and you went back to the scanner, mind going about a hundred thousand miles an hour, and your heart going about three times that. Who would you call first? Sam or Heartman? Sam deserved to know - but wouldn’t it be better to talk to Heartman first and get a grip on the situation before involving Sam and risk upsetting him if this was just some cosmic “fuck you”?

You stood up and walked out of the cave, taking a deep breath of the crisp, foggy, miserable fresh air. This was so fucked up. You pressed your hands to your face and forced yourself to calm down. Fucked up afterlife shenanigans or not, you would help him get back to wherever he set up his camp. You could do that. You helped randos out every once in a while, why would this be any different?

You ignored the voices that told you all the reasons this was stupidly, horribly different.

So you sat down opposite Cliff in the cave, fiddling with your comm after you had made a call to the search captain. You tried to push down your nerves and guilt. You really hoped they found Rami okay.

You tried to call Heartman, but it fell through. After waiting four minutes, you tried again. Still no dice. So, then you went to Sam’s contact… You hovered your thumb over the call button for a good five minutes, of two minds over calling him.

In the end, Cliff woke up violently before you made a decision, rolling onto his hands and vomiting slimy, black beach sludge everywhere. Euch. Smelled like rotting seaweed. Now this cave was double-gross.

You backed up from him, just to give him space, but as soon as you shifted and made a noise, you were met with a pistol in your face. You shrieked and recoiled, falling clumsily onto your ass.

He was in perfect shooting posture, still as a statue.

You didn’t move, heartbeat pounding in your ears and drowning out the wind outside. You blinked hard to keep yourself from seeing a mask instead of a bloody, confused face. There was a long, tense pause, before recognition bloomed in his eyes and he slowly lowered the gun to his side.

He didn’t let it go, though.

And you were crying.

“What are you doing here?” He rasped, disbelief coloring his voice. You weren’t sure if he was quiet because his throat was sore or if he didn’t want anyone to hear the two of you. You found you didn’t really care one way or another, you felt like were were going to shake yourself apart.

You swallowed, still eyeing the gun and not answering. He finally holstered it after ejecting a round from the chamber. Had it been racked the whole time? You hadn’t even noticed it on his belt! You were such an idiot!

“I’m sorry for the gun. I thought you were the thieves that shot me.” He held out his hands in a placating manner. “Are you alright?”

Yes, you were safe and you should be the one asking him if he was alright.

No, you were on the verge of a massive fucking panic attack.

You were both okay and not okay.

But you nod anyway, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Never. Do that. Again.” You said in the most authoritative voice you could muster. It was still pathetic and shaky, but the point got through nonetheless. You were freaking the fuck out.

He looked sorry, though, he really did. And when he spoke, his voice was soft. “I would never dream of it.” He held out a hand to help you up. You took it. “I don’t make a habit of pointing guns at friends.”

“Good,” You gave him a wobbly smile. “‘Cause then I would have to kick your ass.”

That got a laugh from him, at least. “So, what are you doing here? I didn’t think you’re the type to steal from random, unconscious men.” If he noticed his legs were wracked with tremors, he didn’t act like it. He’d lost a lot of blood - not everything was back to normal yet. You didn’t like the thought of leaving him alone like this.

“I was looking for a lost porter when I found you. Made sure you weren’t bleeding out or something.” You said, trying to keep your voice light.

It was funny, that was how you’d met on the beach, too.

“I thought I had hidden myself rather well, but I guess blood loss will do that.” He looked down.

There was an awkward moment.

“You’re lucky it was me that found you and not someone else,” You look outside again, anything else but his face. “Anyone else would have stolen your cargo.” You licked your lips awkwardly. “Do you have a base camp set up or do you need to crash somewhere?”

He started gathering his things. “No thank you, I really have to be moving on,” He glances at you for a moment with a sad smile. “Thank you for caring, though.”

Oh no, he wasn’t. You had to stop him from leaving. You knew to the core of your soul that if you let him go now, you would never see him again.

“I’m a friend of Sam’s.” You blurt out, before immediately flushing. You’d sounded a lot more panicked than you meant to.

It worked, though, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around with a heartbreakingly soft look on his face, like he was afraid to get his hopes up. You could feel the relief come off him all at once from where you stood. “You know my son?”

God, that sappy look on his face was going to kill you. You nodded and looked away, hugging yourself. You felt like someone else was ten times more qualified to tell him all this, like you were intruding on something private. But you were the one there.

“He lives out by Mountain Knot City with Louise.” You looked back at him for a moment before looking away again. “His daughter he adopted in spring.”

He broke out into a grin, entire face lighting up. “Really?”

This was too much, seriously. If he started crying then you would start crying and there were more important things you had to do than cry.

You were already blinking back tears when you answered him. But that smile was contagious, and you started smiling, too. You felt like you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah, really. She was his BB. Saved his life, too. And he saved her right back. He’s been keeping a low profile, though.” You double checked no one was listening, and turned off your comm just to be safe. “He disobeyed an executive order to do it, too. Die-Hardman has ignored it for now, but if other people knew and started asking questions…” You shook your head and sighed. You didn’t need to elaborate on bad PR forcing Sam to be arrested or something. Can’t show preferential treatment to people committing treason or whatever. “I can call him, if you want.”

Cliff nodded and looked out at the landscape, looking somewhere between wistful and upset. “Yes, please.” Both of you ignored the way his voice broke.

He levels you with a calculating gaze suddenly, as if just now thinking of something. “You’re not with Bridges, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I try to stay away from them, actually.” You shrugged, acting more relaxed than you were. “They have a bad habit of listening in on conversations.”

It seemed like that was the answer he wanted. “Can you call Sam, then?”

You nodded and pulled up the call.

And it went straight to voicemail. Were he and Heartman messing with you?

Damnit.

You sigh and put your hands on your hips. “Listen, Cliff. Sam doesn’t answer unregistered IDs. I can leave him a message and try calling him back later, but if you try to call him yourself he probably won’t answer.”

“I don’t have a comm, anyway. But I can go find him now. And meet my grand-daughter. Thank you.” He rested a hand on your shoulder for a moment, before turning away.

Was he seriously trying to leave again?

“Are you seriously just going to leave and walk there all by yourself?” You speed-walked after him - he was way ahead of you already. You cursed his long legs. “You don’t have and Odradek! Or supplies, or even a tent!”

“I’ve been fine so far, y/n.” His tone was dismissive, like he was a teenager waving of his mom’s concerns. The nerve of him! You weren’t going to be waved off! There were easier and faster ways across the continent than walking off by yourself with almost no supplies.

You planted your feet and crossed your arms. He wasn’t going to be this stupid, was he? You knew he knew better than this. “Can you tell where BTs are? Do you know where to hide and how to avoid them? Have a weather map? Know the locals and how to negotiate with MULE camps - which ones even can be negotiated with? Do you know the mountains like you know yourself? Because I do. And going out alone without GPS and comms is just stupid.”

“No,” He stopped, turning to you. He didn’t even look insulted! Did this guy fancy himself invincible just because he’s a repatriate? “But it doesn’t matter; I’m going to see my son. I’m not stopping now that I finally know where my family is.”

“I’m not trying to stop you,” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m suggesting that you could stay for a few hours. I can call Sam as many times as I need to to get through to him. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been looking for so long, but if you rush into this you could cause a Voidout, even if you repatriate, and people will end up dead because you were impatient. So either you cool your jets and wait while I make dinner, or I follow you across the damn Rockies and be a general nuisance.” . You really didn’t want to follow through with that threat, but whatever. You would do it. “Besides, there’s a friend of mine that can take us there almost instantly, if she has the time to visit. Then you wouldn’t even have to risk the trip.”

It only took a moment’s hesitation before he looked away, seeming miffed, but he relented anyway. “How could I say no to a warm meal.” He said, as if the food was what convinced him to stay and not the possibility that the month-long trip through the mountains could be completely skipped.

It took the rest of the hike back home to work up your nerve and speak. “Look, Cliff…” You sigh as you approach your shelter. “Do you like. Need to crash on my couch for a few days? I have plenty of food, you can use my shower, I can get some clothes that aren’t, like. Super bloody. I keep supplies on hand for wanderers that might need them.”

You focused or unlocking your crazy number of locks instead of looking at him, a flush taking over your face and ears. You tried not to make assumptions, and it would be really embarrassing if he took your offer as an insult, but Cliff looked… rough. Judging by how Sam handles things, he would refuse you out of politeness alone. Something about not wanting to be a burden. You looked back at him, your lips pursed in thought.

You opened the door, speaking up again. “You’re definitely changing your clothes, actually. I traded a lot of good shit for my furniture and I don’t need blood on it.” There was no room for argument here.

At least now he was laughing. “You’re too kind, thank you. I promise I’ll be just the one night, really, I’d hate to impose.”

Called it.

You showed him the bathroom and pulled out some simple, soft, black clothes for him. You were paranoid, yes, but you always made a point to keep extra everything in case anyone nearby was injured or needed help. You hadn’t used them since you made your new shelter, though. “It’s no imposition, really. My nickname with porters is the Innkeeper,” You rolled your eyes at the nickname. “Stiched up a good number of folks in my time and sat through blizzards with a few more.” You smiled at him, hoping to make him feel welcome. “Besides, Sam would kill me if he got here and you were already gone.”

You would have pat him on the shoulder on your way out, but he was still covered in an obscene amount of blood, and you didn’t need that on you. Especially not on your hands. Ich. So instead you settled for a simple “Don’t use all the hot water,” as you left.

In the hallway back to the main room, Rocky came up to you, chirruping impatiently. You scooped him up and held on to him for a minute, letting him calm you down. His soft fur and rhythmic purring grounded you. You knew you were being silly, but you were a rubber band ball of anxiety, threatening to snap. Cliff was a good man. You knew that. Sam had told you about his memories when you had brought gifts for Lou. You knew this. He had died saving him. He was a goofy dancer who loved christmas and space and sang lullabies.

Didn’t stop your hands from shaking, though.

You didn’t let people in your shelter anymore, not even your parents.

But for Sam, you would deal with your shitty mind for the night.

So you sat down at your computer, opening up your usual programs. There was only way you would calm down anytime soon and you knew it.

You checked your own video feeds first. No-one outside your local shelter group was in the area. Everyone’s phone pinged back with the normal list of IDs. Your perimeter was fine - It had only seen you for the past week, and then Cliff this afternoon.

Next was the Bridges security feeds. You tapped into the full network of cameras and ran a facial recognition search for about the hundred millionth time in eight months. Higgs, last time the cameras had seen him, was still just hanging out past the tar belt with a bunch of MULEs two weeks ago. Yukking it up with a bunch of thieves.

He didn’t look miserable, which made your blood boil. But he wasn’t anywhere near you and that’s the important part. You were safe for now. There was no way he could make it across the tar belt and all the way out here in that time, right? And besides, his beef wouldn’t be with you. He had no reason to ever come back here.

But your gut churned even in the presence of cold hard facts. You felt like you were gonna puke.

Trauma was a real son of a bitch.

Still, the probably-unhealthy surveillance had reassured your safety. That was what mattered. Your trembling hand hovered over your scar for a moment, not daring to touch it.

Making dinner would be a welcome distraction. Guests always were.

Cliff was hesitant to accept your offer, at first.

He knew this was the smart way to go about things. Getting to Sam was his priority, even if he had to risk trusting you. Which was hard, even if he considered you a friend.

Friends had stabbed him in the back before.

He hadn’t trusted anybody since he woke up next to the lake, freezing in the early spring winds, with nothing, not even clothes on his back.

Going to Bridges had been out of the picture - it didn’t matter who was in charge now. He had no idea what to expect of them - if they were just as untrustworthy as before. He wasn’t willing to stake his life on the chance that the company had changed. He wasn’t trusting them a second time.

So he stayed alone, chasing rumors of his legendary son and where he had disappeared off to. But he was a ghost. As soon as he came across someone who knew him, they just as quickly told him they had no idea where he was. With the UCA you would think these people would know how to find each other, but apparently the public didn’t have access to location records, and Sam had kept himself off the map.

He had been close to caving and finding John when you had found him, roughed up and shot at by MULEs after his measly supplies. He was a good soldier and knew how to pick his battles, but they’d had a truck and a seemingly endless amount of bullets.

He’d only had a handgun.

So he would stay with you, for now, and find is son, and then everything would be okay. You didn’t seem the type to betray him. (But then again, neither had Bridget, until she had.)

But he had enjoyed your visits when he was trapped on the beach. He had been so desperately lonely and then you were there, with soft smiles and corny jokes and you let him tell you about the stars. You kept him sane in purgatory.

And here you were again, saving him, and he was still just trying to find his son.

And he was still horribly, terribly alone.

A/N:

Cliff’s Alive! Yay! Get ready for a wild ride guys, cause I’m just getting started! Who knew a Kojima game would end up being my muse, huh? I sure didn’t. This was my first week of the new semester so I didn’t get to write as much as I wanted but I’ve gotten at least some more stuff on the master doc. I hope you guys enjoyed it, don’t forget to R&R!

Edit:Removed mention of M/C’s parents.

@paanchu786

#cliff unger #death stranding #death stranding cliff #death stranding x reader #mads mikkelsen #x reader #l'appel du vide #longfic

66 notes · View notes

starlightsoulwriting · 4 years

Text

L’appel du Vide

Cliff Unger x Reader

L'appel du Vide (n.) The unexplainable desire to jump when on the edge of a cliff Call of The Void AO3 Link

[Prologue][1][x]

Part Two

Skull masks.

Blood on your hands. blood on the floor.

Knives. So many knives, all in your stomach and chest. When had that happened? When had you let Higgs back in your shelter? Why would you do that?

Sam was dead. Cliff was dead. And Heartman and Lockne and Deadman and Fragile. All dead and you would join them soon.

Higgs laughed at you when you cried.

“Didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

You startled awake.

Tears streamed down your face, and you rolled over to throw up in the trash can, shaking like a leaf. Stupid brain, you thought, stupid nightmares, stupid Higgs. You coughed past your stinging throat, trying to breathe evenly but hyperventilating instead. Your scar stung in your stomach, despite nothing being there. The memories were enough to set it off.

You kicked your sheets off of you and stumbled to your bathroom, legs shaking. You needed a shower, and badly. You pressed your hands against your eyes, massaging your face in a hollow effort to calm yourself down. You felt like your lungs were made of sea urchins.

You missed the DOOMs nightmares. At least those hadn’t been so personal, so painful.

You stood under the tap and let the scalding water run over your body, forcing all the memories from your skin. His laughing, the knife, your blood - you scrubbed yourself off as if water could wash away your dreams, your flashbacks, the lingering feeling of his knee on your chest, holding you down.

When you made it to your jaw, you wanted to scream. You opted to slap the tiles of your shower instead, so hard it hurt. The phantom feeling of his tongue clung to your skin like tar, and the soap didn’t help, no matter how hard you tried to wash it off.

Let's see how fast Sam can run. His voice intruded in your head again, a record stuck on repeat, grating in your ears and spiking your heart rate. It wouldn’t go away, you could feel his hands on your neck, the knife at your side, digging in just enough to bleed.

Hot water, cold tiles, your favorite soap. Grounding was only helping so much.

You dug your hand into your thigh, nails digging in deep and stinging. You sang some old rock song to drown out the noise. He was far away from you. You were safe. You didn’t need to worry.

You don’t know how long you stayed in the shower crying. After a while it stopped, and left you feeling detached from your body, numb. You were raw and your skin was bright red, but you weren't covered in vomit, so that was something.

You turned off the shower.

You curled up in your blankets and called Heartman. You knew he might be sleeping, but there was a chance he would be up. Your hands shook as you found his contact.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” He asked after the second ring, voice rough and tired. A wave of relief went through you. Heartman’s voice could drown out his.

“No, Heartman, I’m not okay.” You breathe, pulling the blankets over your head and burrowing in. It was dark except the soft blue glow of your comm. “I can still hear him. He’s on the other side of the continent and still won’t leave me alone.”

“What do you need? Should I put on my music?”

“Sure,” You needed to keep him on the phone, you could focus on him instead of your nightmares. “I’d like that.”

Neo-Classical music played over your speaker as he shared it with you. You closed your eyes, listening to the soft piano. This wasn’t the first time the two of you shared a late-night call.

“I can still feel it, sometimes,” You started again, just over a whisper, restless. “The knife.” You gulp, trying and failing to shove away your thoughts. “I’ve been doing everything Julia said would help but it’s not going away and I’m still so afraid, all the time,” You stopped talking when your eyes welled up, shutting your eyes harder as if that would stop the tears.

“I’m sorry,” He said simply, voice heavy. “I wish there was something more I could do to help. Do you want me to come over for a few days and keep you company? Or would that just make it worse?”

“I already have a visitor, but... Maybe after that.”

“You took in a guest?” He sounded surprised, but why wouldn’t he? You only let him and Sam in. Not even Lockne or Deadman, no. Or friends you’d known in your old shelter. You didn’t run your clinic or tours anymore, either. Too many strangers. Too dangerous. Not since you came back. Not since Higgs.

Not until Cliff.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “He’s a friend. Just needed a place to stay for the night.”

Heartman was quiet for a moment. “Do you think that’s why you had a nightmare tonight, having someone there? I know that’s a… sensitive matter.”

You sighed, not wanting to talk about technical aspects of your trauma with him. “Maybe,” you bit your lip and played with your fingers, itching to make paper stars but not wanting to move out from under your blanket mountain. “I’ll bring it up with Julia, though.” You said to reassure him more than yourself. You hated the thought of him worrying about you.

So you changed the subject, breathing starting to level out. You had so many thoughts running through your head about Cliff, you needed help figuring it out. “Hey, Heartman… some things happened yesterday that sound really crazy.” You took the risk in asking. You needed to know. “Promise me you won’t think I'm nuts?”

“Cross my heart,” He replied, going along without question.

“Is there a time limit on repatriation? Like, could someone be on the beach for ages and then come back just fine?”

“I suppose, as long as the body wasn’t destroyed, there shouldn’t be any reason they couldn’t. Why do you ask?”

You rubbed the back of your neck, mulling over your next words. “What if there wasn’t a body left?”

“Then there’s nothing for the soul to return to. They’d be trapped,” He paused. He’d heard the tension in your voice. “What’s wrong, Y/N? I thought you weren’t going to the beach anymore.”

He was right, you weren’t. There was no point in going unless it was to keep him company. “I didn’t find him on the beach. It was out in the mountains.” You stopped, bracing for his reaction. He was going to think you were insane, you just knew it. “He died forty years ago. He says he just woke up out by Lake Knot in spring. I know it’s true, too, but it’s making my brain explode trying to work out how it happened.”

There was a long silence. You tried not to think of how he was probably calling Julia, your therapist.

“You’re absolutely certain of this?” He said, eventually.

You nod absently, before remembering he can’t see you. “One hundred percent. I have his file and everything. How he died, the date, the cremation records - everything. I met him on the beach when I was looking for Sam, even.” The knot in your chest was untangling itself as the one in your brain wound itself tighter. “But here he is, alive and talking. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“I’ll call Fragile and have her take you both here right away then, this is unprecedented.” He started, voice picking up speed. “If what you’re saying is true, this could revolutionize the way we think about repatriation, especially in the wake of Amelie’s separation. There might even be a direct correlation - you said he woke up in spring? There might be unforeseen instabilities in the beach gone completely unnoticed -”

“Heartman.” You cut him off, wincing as soon as you did it, but you had to stop him before he got too far in. “Fragile is already taking him to Sam.” You’d gotten through to him after dinner, and given Cliff and him privacy by staying in your room and making an absurd number of paper stars. Fragile would be there in the morning to take him.

“Why would you take him to Sam’s?”

You were quiet as you double-checked your connection to make sure it was secure. Bridges liked to monitor the networks, to eavesdrop. “You’re using the VPN I sent you, right?” Your voice dropped back down to a whisper.

He must’ve sensed your seriousness because he responded in kind. “Always, of course.”

You hesitated. You could trust Heartman, but did he really need to know? Would Cliff be mad? Surely Sam would tell Heartman, himself, right?

“Y/n?”

“It’s Sam’s dad,” You breathed, barely hearing your own voice. “It’s Cliff Unger.”

...

“Fascinating.”

You’d given up on trying to get back to sleep at about four in the morning, opting to work on some projects instead. Or, more accurately, obsessively making origami to distract yourself. It gave your hands something to do, your mind something to focus on. Your works had become increasingly more complicated, thanks to network access. You could make anything you wanted. That morning you were working on an Asian dragon design you messed up three times before.

Cliff woke up just after than four-thirty, with bags under his eyes. Both of you were surprised the other was up so early, but neither of you pried. You didn’t ask so he wouldn’t. You assumed he did the same.

Breakfast was easy and quiet. You worked on making omelets while he cooked roasted vegetables with potatoes. They were really tasty, too. You missed having someone to cook with. You enjoyed making meals with people, so the comfortable dance around the kitchen with Cliff had been a breath of fresh air. These days you only got to cook for Sam, Louise, and Heartman, and their visits were few and far between for obvious reasons. You hummed a song as you flipped the omelets. You missed Cliff’s smile, but soon he was humming along too, baritone ringing through your quiet house.

You felt less alone, then. You wished he would stay.

Somehow your morning silence was comfortable and awkward at the same time. The eerie quiet of the early morning did that, sometimes. He thanked you again for letting him stay and you thanked him for helping with breakfast. He’d scoffed at that, saying that was the absolute least he could’ve done - he wasn’t a freeloader.

Then he made a pun about his roast potatoes being “Spudtacular.”

You groaned. Dad jokes!

Afterward, at around ten, you were taking care of your indoor plants while Cliff read some recent history title in your favorite armchair. You were looking forward to seeing Fragile - it had been a few months since her last visit. Tension was still thick between you, and you were pretty sure it would linger until you felt safe. But you were trying, and that’s what's important. Both of you were, delicately avoiding reference to Higgs. It’s worked for the most part, thankfully.

At least if Rami - who still hadn’t been found - caused a Voidout, she and Cliff would be out of implosion distance. That was good. Sam didn’t need any more tragedies. You would’ve been out looking still, but there was no way in hell you were leaving someone alone in your shelter unless it was actively on fire, no matter how much you may or may not have liked them.

You looked over at him then. Talking with him had been difficult, like pulling teeth. Harder than it had been before, when you were on the beach. It was frustrating. You were too nervous to start a real conversation with him, too. He was quiet and closed off, and answered you distantly when you tried, redirecting to jokes instead of real answers. He had shut you out.

You supposed both of you were out of it. He’d been through hell in the past you months, you could tell - the weight lingered on him like useless cargo. And after your nightmare and panic attack that morning, you hadn’t felt like talking much either. Maybe he just didn’t like relying on people, and you shouldn’t take it personally.

It was nice, though, having company. Just his presence was reassuring, conversation or no.

Rocky liked him, too, which was something. He’d been bothering him all day, headbutting his hand to demand pats, and persistently returning to his lap time and again, purring happily. Cliff seemed to like the attention, too, whispering baby talk to him as he purred. It was unbearably cute, seeing him so sweet with the cat, and you had to turn back to your plants before you turned into a puddle of goo. He obviously needed his space. And he was leaving today; there was no use in feeling such a mess over it.

You continued to tend to your African Violets, their fuzzy leaves brushing your fingertips. They weren’t blooming yet, but it looked like they would soon. It would be nice to have a bit of color in the house again.

Cliff caught your attention again soon enough, though, with a sudden, rich laugh - and his smile actually reached his eyes. You were confused for a moment, he was reading a non-fiction book - but then you noticed him looking at Rocky’s name tag like it was the best joke he’s ever heard. Then he looked at you, light in his eyes, and your heart twisted.

Oh boy. Here it comes. This was too embarrassing.

A scarlet blush worked its way up your face.

“You…” he stammered, interrupting himself with a chuckle. “You named your cat Rocket Launcher?”

Yes, you had.

You wanted to die.

“Yeah,” you choked out, fighting your urge to run and hide. His megawatt smile kept you in place, though. Your stomach was doing backflips.

At least he had your sense of humor.

You turned back to your plants to avoid his gaze, face hot with embarrassment. His laugh echoed quietly behind you as he whispered baby talk to said cat named Rocket Launcher. This man would be the death of you, you knew it.

Your anxiety had started with unease at eleven-thirty. Then it escalated to worry at noon, then to actual distress by one; you were going to make a wear pattern in your carpet if you kept pacing like you were, but she never missed time. Something had happened.

Fragile hadn’t shown up by three. She was supposed to meet you at eleven.

So you were worried. Like, there’s-no-way-you'll-sleep-tonight, can't-eat, shaking-ball-of-mess worried. You were short with her, but god, you still cared.

You called her at twelve. And at one, and at two.

Her comm didn’t even ring, it went right to voicemail. All three times. Maybe it had just run out of power, you told yourself. And she was busy with an emergency delivery? You hoped it was as benign as that, but you had a sinking feeling that something had gone terribly wrong.

Sam called you at two, asking why you were late. You told him you would call him back if Fragile didn’t show up for a while longer. So, when you called him at three he picked up right away, your fingers tapping against your thigh in a nervous rhythm. His hair was messy and he looked even more tired than he usually did. He was just as worried as you.

“I’ve tried to get through to her, but there’s nothing.” You started, voice unsteady, “You get anything?”

“Nah, no updates since last night.” Sam wasn’t the most expressive of men, but you heard the stress in his voice loud and clear. He had no idea where she was, either.

Your brain was going a million miles an hour, trying to see if there was something you missed, something you could do, someplace Fragile could be where she’s safe. “I’ll call Lockne and Heartman,” You said, hoping someone else would know, “Can you check in with Deadman and the President?”

Sam looked at you like you’d asked him to hike across the US a third time, but he nodded. He was far more likely to get through to Die-Hardman than you were and he knew it, even if Sam was walking on eggshells. He would want to help.

At that point you felt heat on your back. It was Cliff walking up behind you, getting in view of the camera. Most people wouldn’t have been bothered by it, but you moved aside anyway, giving him space. You didn’t like people close to you anymore; it made your gut churn.

Although this time you weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t like people close to you or if it was because you really liked him. So you did the logical thing and ignored it. There were more important things to do than ponder your personal space issues.

Cliff was beyond frustrated. How many more things would keep him from Sam? He ran his hand down his face with a heavy sigh. These past eight months had been the longest year of is life. But nothing could stop him, universe be damned. If fate wanted to make his journey hell, then so be it. It was nothing that had stopped him before.

So he decided that if you two hadn’t found your friend by morning, he would have to take that hike through the Rockies, BTs and all. Of course, he would have loved to stay with you, but he knew the longer he did the harder it would be to leave. He’d gotten an amazing night’s sleep for the first time he can remember, and the only meals that weren’t freeze-dried. It would be best if he didn’t linger. He couldn’t get complacent, he should move on as soon as possible. He could rest when he on the other side of the mountains.

He spent his time that afternoon going through possible routes on your map, let you handle things yourself. But then he heard you mention John, who now called himself by his war name, Die-Hardman. It chilled him to his core; the thought of his best friend wearing Bridget Strand’s mask was enough to make him ill. He didn’t blame John for Strand killing him, but to wear her mask? He’d made it clear what was important to him, so Cliff hadn’t bothered him when he was so clearly busy upholding the legacy of a murderer.

So he joined your call with Sam. It was unnerving, these holograms. Sam was so solid, but hundreds of miles away from him still. Like a mirage in a desert. Cliff didn’t even notice you tense up until you stepped aside. He would have to be more careful with you, then, you seemed on edge and he would hate to make you uncomfortable.

He focused on the call, though, conflicted. “Sam, please don’t mention me to John. I don’t know what I would say to him, I’d prefer if he didn’t know I’m… traveling.” He had to stop himself from cringing at himself. Traveling, truly an amazing euphemism for being back from the dead, way to go.

Sam’s brow furrowed just enough to see. His son was quite the stoic, it seemed. “Don’t you think he could help set you up out here? He would come all the way out here himself if you asked. He... “ Sam was uncomfortable for a moment, crossing his arms and looking away from him. “He never really got over losing you. He thinks it was his fault.”

Cliff closed his eyes hard and shoved the guilt deep, deep down. His resolve would crumble if he let himself think too much, and that wouldn’t end well, not then, not while he was still so hurt. “Later, Sam.” He forced passed his teeth. His tone didn’t leave room for argument.

He would sort it out later, surely. He had priorities.

He would talk to John.

Eventually.

When he disconnected the call you were already working on your computer.

You had multiple screens set up, and at least ten programs open. Were you pulling up security cameras? He put his hand on the desk and leaned in to get a better look, careful not to intrude in your personal space too much.

Technology had improved so much during the time he was gone that he could barely tell what you were doing. He knew you were busy, though, so he suppressed the urge to question you about every last detail. He hated not knowing how things worked, especially as someone who used to know tech like the back of his hand. It made him feel all the more out of place than he already did. “What is this? You said you were going to call your friends?”

You nodded absentmindedly, focusing on the screen. “I will call them, after I look for Fragile myself.” You pulled up another program and dragged in a headshot of a blonde woman Cliff assumed was your friend. The software mapped her face and started combing through the video feeds. You busied yourself with some other program while the facial recognition ran.

Cliff tensed - there were Bridges logos plastered in the corners of the videos you’d pulled up. You’d told him you weren’t affiliated. Would you lie to him? What did you want? “How do you have these feeds? Bridges has a strict no-access policy.” He grit out, trying not to sound too high-strung - he didn’t need to make more problems for himself.

“I gave myself access.” You stammered. You sipped your coffee and kept working, not looking back at him. He studied your face, searching for any sign of a lie. He wanted to trust you. But he couldn’t trust the company that killed him and took Sam. You mostly just seemed embarrassed, though, there was no sign of you lying. Just a focused, serious look in your eyes. “They’re bullies,” You continued after a moment, more spite in your voice than he would expect. “They can take their secrets and drown in them for all I care.” Your fingers rapped on the desk as you worked.

He couldn’t say he condoned hacking into confidential servers, but they had shut him out, too, so…

Maybe it was petty, but Bridges’ security being breached by a civilian was hilarious. Good for you.

As you continued working he grew uncomfortable, though - restless. There was a tightness growing in his chest. He knew there was nothing he could do to help you. Nothing short of finding Fragile would. He’s had too many men go missing in action - he was used to the distressed searching, the anticipation, the threads of hope that would keep you searching. But he wasn’t used to being useless. He’d always prided himself in his ability to work through a crisis, so being obsolete was an unwelcome, grating itch on his nerves.

He needed something to do.

He squeezed your shoulder lightly in what he hoped was a comforting manner. You met his gaze with a tense smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked simply, praying you would respond.

You sighed. “Not really, but thank you.” You squeezed his hand softly in response.

Damnit.

That sad and grateful face you made was almost physically painful. It worried him, how quickly he had grown attached to you. But he supposed it was inevitable. You had been there for him on the beach. You had shown him the way home. Following you into the water had been a long-shot, desperate move on his part - but it had worked. He was alive, and had a chance to spend time with his son.

All because you had been a kind stranger when he was lost.

He shoved that deep down inside him, though. Everything was painful these days, even the possibility of friendship. Guilt and pain and apprehension? No, he couldn’t do this now - he would leave in the morning and it would all be irrelevant anyway. He would be a world away from you and it wouldn’t matter how much he enjoyed the company. No use thinking too much about it know.

You went back to work on your computer.

He still didn’t know what to do with himself.

You seemed to notice, though, and took pity on him. “You can get dinner started, if you want.”

His whole body relaxed. He could do that much for you, at least.

He got out some ingredients, and had to look in five different places to find a knife - they were hidden deep inside one of the cabinets, shoved underneath some Tupperware.

He’d barely started chopping the vegetables when you blew past him, frantic, eyes wide and hair messy, and ran outside. You hadn’t even bothered with a raincoat - no one went without one, even with how infrequent timefall was now.

He stood at the doorway for a moment, baffled. But it all became clear when he moved to look at your computer.

Security footage was playing on a loop. One of Bridges’ feeds, out near Capital Knot. It was time-stamped for that morning at 09:42.

At first it looked like any other porter drop-off he’d seen. Fragile dropped off the cargo and began walking to the road.

Just as she was almost out of frame, she froze, body going tense. She tugged something out of her neck with a visible wince. A second later her frame was wracked with tremors, starting in her hands then progressing through to her arms and legs.

She fell.

Her head hit the pavement, and Cliff knew that if the feed had sound, it would’ve made a sickening crack. Fragile lay still.

A tranquilizer dart, hummed the back of his mind.

Blood pooled around her skull.

A white-gloved hand came just into frame to touch her arm - and Fragile disappeared in a flash of black shimmers. The hand retracted.

There was no other sign of the assailant. The feed was empty again.

Cliff ran after you.

You tore out of your shelter, not bothering to pull on a suit or Odradek. It was too hot and cramped, you were about to burst, this was all too much. You needed space, you needed to breathe.

Of course as soon as you thought something might finally start to be alright with you two Fragile gets kidnapped! What the hell was wrong with these people? Why did they even care? Why were they taking people?

You blinked away tears as you shambled to your greenhouse.

You needed to hit something.

You rummaged around your pumpkin patch and found the squashiest pumpkin you had. Then you grabbed your shovel from the supply closet. Then you pulled the shovel over your head, and you slammed the shovel into the gourd. The sound you made was inhuman, a hot rush coursing through your veins. You were so angry!

And then you did it again.

It gave a smack-squelch sound and caved in, guts oozing out of the gaping cracks you’d made. Your hands were shaking? You hit it. Your knees wobbling? You hit it. Fet like your heart was ready to burst? You hit it. You hit it again. And again, and again, letting its gross pumpkin guts get all over your clothes. Were you screaming? You weren’t sure if you were screaming or not. You didn’t care. Your friend was gone.

By the time the pumpkin was nothing more than puree you were spent and sweaty and gross, panting and flushed. You didn’t even notice how hard you were crying until you wiped pumpkin seeds from your cheek and it felt all teary.

You… didn’t really feel better either. Just less pissed off and more sad. Empty, like someone had hollowed out your insides and replaced them with cotton.

You heard footsteps on the grass behind you.

Damn it! You didn’t need Cliff seeing you like this! God, how embarrassing. You turned around reluctantly, shoulders slumping and shovel barely in your grasp.

There he was, warm eyes and kind heart.

That was almost enough to get you crying again - you weren’t used to people caring enough to come after you. People out here took care of themselves.

You saw him take in the scene - the destroyed pumpkin, the seeds on your clothes, the tears streaming down your face. He cautiously cracked a smile, after a moment, “If I had known you were making pumpkin pie I would have helped.”

You laughed and burst into tears at the same time, dropping your shovel. That was such a stupid thing to say! He was ridiculous! You covered your face in your hands, mortified but unable to stop crying.

You and Fragile never truly reconciled - you had just ignored your argument altogether and held a tense peace.

You felt like the worst friend on the planet.

And now someone had taken her.

Careful hands rested on your arms, lightly pulling you in. You could have resisted if you wanted to; you could’ve told him to go away, to leave you alone and he would have done it in a heartbeat. But you’d been crying alone for so long.

So you let him pull you close, let him gently wrap his arms around you as you cried. He was warm, and had strong arms, and you cried into his shirt like some damsel in a shitty movie. But you felt safe. “It’ll be alright.” He murmured into your hair. You could feel his voice rumbling in his chest. You clung to the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. “You’ll find her.”

You knew those were empty platitudes, that neither of you had any idea what the future would bring.

But for now, just for tonight, you would choose to believe him.

A/n:

This chapter is brought to you by the need for therapy. I hope I’m holding the right balance between vague and intriguing with Reader-San’s flashbacks. They won’t feel like going into full detail until much later, so I hope its enough to almost tell what happened, but not quite.Anytime I mention singing you can insert whatever song you want, btw.I would also like to apologize to the Fragile and Higgs stans. This fic isn’t really nice to them and I really am sorry about that, but Fragile’s teleportation is too convenient. How else am I going to get (Y/n) and Cliff to hike across the Rockies, huh?So what do you guys think? I’d really appreciate some feedback, I don’t have a beta so I’m not sure.I hope you enjoyed it!

Edit: Change what Higgs said.

@paanchu786

#death stranding #death stranding x reader #death stranding cliff #cliff unger #mads mikkelsen #chaptered #reader #l'appel du vide

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