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itgirlification · 3 years

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supermodel | jjk

the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.

now playing: supermodel by sza

part two part three

Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.

Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?

Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.

It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.

You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.

Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.

Fucking great.

That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.

While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.

“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”

Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.

She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.

“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”

Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.

“Where?”, your question was short.

“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”

You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.

You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...

‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’

You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.

You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?

You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.

You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.

“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”

__________

“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”

You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.

“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”

She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”

You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”

You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?

Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.

“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”

The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”

Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.

The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.

‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.

You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.

‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?

Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’

About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.

“Woah, yn, you okay?”

You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.

Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.

“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”

You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”

Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”

She put the magazine aside.

“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”

Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”

“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”

Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”

“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”

You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.

“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”

You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”

The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.

“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”

To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.

“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.

_______

it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.

Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.

You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.

Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.

Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.

“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.

“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”

“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”

You shook your head no.

“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”

“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”

Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.

“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”

After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.

A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.

But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than

“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“

At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.

You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.

“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.

Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.

He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.

“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.

It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.

Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.

Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.

This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.

You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.

Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.

You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.

“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.

You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.

He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.

Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.

Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.

Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.

The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.

Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.

“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”

You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.

The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.

You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.

While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.

“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.

So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.

“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.

“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.

He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.

“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”

You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.

Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.

You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.

Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.

Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.

With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.

It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.

You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.

You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.

Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.

Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.

For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.

You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.

All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.

He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”

He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.

“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”

There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.

You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”

You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.

“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”

He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.

“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.

Without looking back, he left.

And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.

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beeblackburn · 3 years

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Tagged by the stupendous @xserpx! 😘

1. Best book you have read in 2021 so far?

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin. So character-dense, so full of impactful, visceral, hard moments, so evocative and vivid to the imagination... some moments brought a hurt only my favorite authors manage to land in me, because Jemisin pulls no punches.

2. Best sequel you have read in 2021 so far?

The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel. At this point, you know what you’re getting into, and Mantel’s damn good at this historical writing business. She intertwines an immediate perspective with fulfilling characterization, making the fall of Cromwell all the more crushing.

3. A new release you want to check out?

The Mask of Mirrors by M.A. Carrick. Look, The Memoirs of Lady Trent is as underrated as fantasy gets, and it still owns my ass hard. Finding out that Brennan’s one of the co-author of M.A. Carrick? I’m definitely interested, and the positive reviews certainly help.

4. Most anticipated book release of the second half of the year?

Can it be anything but The Wisdom of Crowds by Joe Abercrombie? The mind, she burns...

5. Biggest disappointment?

Gotta say, I only took a peek at the excerpt online, and while Aufschlag’s parts definitely bring the Abercrombie comparison to mind, Michael R. Fletcher’s Beyond Redemption did not live up to the immediate comparison I was passively badgered on in my community. The dialogue felt “trying too hard to be profound, while ending up clunky,” which was a killer for me. I’m sure Fletcher got better, given how much noise Black Stone Heart got, but my first dip wasn’t encouraging.

6. Biggest surprise?

Driftwood by Marie Brennan. I was coming in, expecting another solid venture from Marie Brennan (she’s not meat-and-potatoes in the way I think of Brandon Sanderson, but I think she occupies a comfortable place in my rankings), instead getting some of the most weird and inventive world-building and mournful, yet optimistic in the face of apocalypse, storytelling. I might try out more of her stuff if her range can be so encompassing, and I hope she does more in this world.

7. Favourite new author (either new to you or debut)?

New to me: Nghi Vo, Empress of Salt and Fortune was nifty, bleeding into a non-binary protagonist, while wrangling some ambitious narratives (not... entirely successfully, granted, but hey, for a first novella, impressive) and bringing some delightful prose along the way!

8. Favourite new fictional crush?

Tonkee from The Broken Earth trilogy. Hey, a transgender royalty who fucked off from the throne because she preferred academia over rule and messed up a politically expedient arranged marriage or two in the process? 😍

9. Newest favourite character?

ESSUN, ESSUN, oh my god, it’s ESSUN from The Broken Earth trilogy. As deep and complex and twisted as some of my prior favorites? She’s got such thorny issues, and they come out ugly as shit, but such strength and determination, and a character arc in that book that snatches my breath away.

10. A book that made you cry?

None, but that’s generally to be expected with non-Hobb books (and some of GRRM and Abercrombie!). I did cry twice today and five times yesterday, but that was for a different matter.

Okay, I do remember one tearing up moment, A Man and His Cat Vol. 3 by Umi Sakurai. I’m not necessarily surprised because tonally and thematically, there's an underlying melancholy about lonely people who fear rejection because they were considered undesirables and think the cycle will repeat all over again. But reading Kanda’s backstory... oh. That punched me in my childhood.

11. A book that made you happy?

Chii’s Sweet Home by Kanata Konami. I bought all four omnibuses this week (immense sale) and Chii’s adventures consistently make me smile in the way cute cat manga’s supposed to.

12. Most beautiful book you have bought or received this year?

Honestly, there’s quite a few, but the most... When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo. That cover is darling and while Empress of Salt and Fortune’s cover is good, this appeals far more to me, color-wise.

13. What book do you need to read by the end of the year?

NEED to?

looks at my 400+ books library

Take your pick.

(Probably The Hidden Palace by Helene Wecker, if it’s not already The Wisdom of Crowds).

Tagging: @vera-dauriac, @autoapocrypha, @books-and-doodles, @insecticidalfeminism, @doublehex @jovolovo and whoever else that is following me and wishes to do this tag (I’d like to read your posts, so please tag me! :D)

#book tag

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 5 years

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Bond Between People and Pokemon Pt.8

The heroes were fighting against Ganondorf’s forces in order to rescue their friends. Though they had already attempted an escape, with a severely injured Incineroar that could prove to be difficult. A stab through the chest is not easy to recover from.

Ridley: Like your lousy device said kid…I’m ruthless.

Ridley began constricting his tail around Bonny Janet in an attempt to suffocate her.

Bonny Janet: Gah! Well do yer know wha’ aye say? I say aye ain’t some worthless sisseh who doesn’t know how ta fight back!

Bonny ripped off Ridley tail spike and stabbed it through his shoulder causing him to release his grip.

Ridley: MOTHERFUCKER, THAT KILLS! I understand how my victims feel now at least! You think you can run you little shit!? I’ll find you! Crap she took Incineroar with her, well at least we’ve got… … …DEDEDE’S GONE!? Oh there’s a note in his cell. “To Ridley, you are a sad, ugly piece of trash and no one will love you, from Dedede. P.S. we’re gonna BURN ALL YOUR BODY PILLOWS!” HELL NO! I’M GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU!

Meanwhile outside the hideout the fight was still going between heroes and villains.

Fox: Wolf!? Why are you with them!?

Wolf: You should know by now Fox. I only hang where the money lies. There’s a load of dough on deck for your heads. (Shoots at him) And I’m craving for the moolah!

Dark Link, clashing with Link: Come on I thought you’d put up more of a fight!

Link: Funny, I could say the same!

Chara: Come on girl I want you to tear em to shreds. Start with the good dinosaur over there (Points at Yoshi).

Riptor lunged herself at Yoshi with a killer instinct and began to fight him.

Chara: Hmm. I guess I’ll take care of daddy’s little elf problem (Throws a knife at Young Link but misses)

Young Link: This time I’ll make sure Ganon loses something important to him.

Chara: Oh I don’t plan on dying. Here or ever!

Back up at the hideout’s balcony Ganondorf & Hades stood watching the carnage unfold.

Hades: Woah! What a rioting rip roaring rumble! You’ve got a blue hedghog fighting a metal hedgehog. A 2D man turning into an octopus, that’s wierd. And a kid fighting another kid, that one wasn’t very clear. I think they’re all there…oh and there’s…PIT-Y! I MUST CRUSH THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!

Ganondorf: Patience Hades. Let them think they have the upper hand and then me you we can take them all down together.

Hades: What about the Link’s and Pit-y?

Ganondorf: They have no clue how to deal with you we’ll just swap who we fight usually.

Hades: Well thought brother.

Ganondorf: Stop calling me that I just made you my kids’ Uncle so they’d stop bothering me. Anyway, besides we still have our special weapons. (Leans toward a mic) Wesker had told me recently that the weapons are near completion. So we shall prepare to-

Something had crashed on the battelfield.

Ganondorf: What the hell was that?

-Back below the hideout-

Ridley: Come out. Kid I just wanna know where you’re stashin’ the blubber boy and the muscle man. I know you’re here.

Bonny, Dedede & Incineroar were all above on the cieling since Dedede can fly.

King Dedede: I’m definitely the muscle man just sayin’. At least people are noticing.

Bonny Janet: Yeah sure.

King Dedede: Heheheh!…Oh no!

Bonny Janet: What do you mean “oh no?”

King Dedede: I gotta sneeze. Ahhh!

Bonny Janet: Doon’t yer even think about it!

King Dedede: ATCHOO!

Ridley: Bless you…Wait!? What!? (Looks up) There you are!

Ridley flew up to them causing them all to fall down to the floor Ridley flew down and pinned them all to the ground.

Incineroar: What’s happening? I can see a large white light. I wanna touch it.

Bonny Janet: Naw you don’t go pokin’ at tha’ light!

Incineroar: …But I…want to…go to it.

Bonny Janet: NO!

Ridley: How touching, I may just cry. Don’t worry I’ll make sure you all go to the light! This is what happens when you threaten my body pillows!

Something had crashed directly above them.

Ridley: What the hell was that!?

Ganondorf, to the mic: Ridley! Go investigate what’s happened.

Ridley: Can’t boss the prisoners are in my hands.

Ganondorf: Damnit!

Sakurai: Having trouble?

Ganondorf: Sakurai!? How are you reaching our communicators?

Sakurai: Dr Light assisted with that. By the way just thought I’d let you know, I’ve just left you a buffed package. I hope you like pink. Bye.

Ganondorf: Pink…Pi- Do you know what he meant?

Hades shrugged.

Samus, on the megaphone again: Yo Ganon!

Ganondorf: What now!?

Samus: When Kirby gets to you tell him I said hi!

Ganondorf: … … …

Hades: … … …Well I’m going back to the Underworld.

Ganondorf: Coward! The least you could do is take me with you!

Hades: Don’t worry you’ll end up in hell once Kirby’s through with you.

Ganondorf: But I can’t die!

Hades, failing at opening a portal: … …My magic isn’t working…

Ganondorf: How!?

Palutena: Because of me silly.

Hades: GODESS! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! (Hits himself) After doing that I now know why it only works in cartoons ow.

—

Ridley: Kirby!? Coming!? Now!? God!? Oh no! No! No! This can’t be happening! If I kill these three there’s no coming back! (Unknowingly releases them)

King Dedede: We gotta get outta here!

Ridley: Wait no! Old man Sakurai was probably just bluffing! We’d all be dead already if he were to be coming. You all thought you could trick me!

Bonny Janet: Where is he!?

Ridley: Nothing the Cunning God of Death can’t figure out!

King Dedede: Come on Kirby hurry!

Ridley, lunging forward: DIE!!!!!

Ridley darted towards them only to stop at the sound of a few stars. All the villains listened in fear.

Ridley: … … …

Wolf: … … …

Dark Link: … … …

Hades: … … …

Ganondorf: … … …

Riptor: … … …

Chara: Hahahaha! We’re in danger.

Kirby came flying down onto the battlefield on his Warp Star his face full of anger.

All the heroes: You guys are screwed now!

Ridley: Oh shit! I gotta get outta here! I ain’t dealing with this! (Ridley burst through a wall and flew far from the carnage, picking up K.Rool on the way out) Can’t believe you were knocked out through all this!

Hades: Dear God! What the hell do we do!?

Ganondorf: I don’t know!?

Hades: You’re their leader!

Ganondorf: *Sighs* (In the mic) ALL VILLAINS FOCUS YOUR ATTACK ON KIRBY!

Villains: WHAT ARE YOU INSANE!?

Dark Link: Boss, Sakurai said he buffed him!

Wolf: Yeah. I ain’t dealing with that no matter what the price.

Ganondorf: I didn’t plan on paying you anyway.

Wolf: WHAT!?

Fox: I told you Wolf.

Wolf: You’ll regret this Ganon! I ain’t workin’ for ya anymore! Say Fox how much would you pay me if I switched sides?

Fox: We’ll talk about this later.

Ganondorf: Your harmless words are the least of my worries. As for the rest of you. Go fight Kirby!

Villains: … …OK! (“We’re dead”)

Kirby: POYO!

Bonny Janet: Wreck ‘em Kirby. Please. Hurry E’s runnin’ outta time. (Looks at Incineroar)

To Be Continued…

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rieshon · 4 years

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Best of 2019

It wouldn't be a best of the year post if it wasn't hopelessly late.

10: Shinchou Yuusha ~Kono Yuusha ga Ore TUEEE Kuse ni Shinchou Sugiru~ ∥ White Fox ∥ Dir. Sakoi Masayuki: The title makes this sound like it could be terrible but this series has a Konosuba-like aplomb that makes it one of the best comedies of the year. Toyosaki Aki is absolutely brilliant as the shithead damegami Listarte and the animation consistently matches her over-the-top comedic masterclass. The show even has a real ending; opinion is split but I found it surprisingly satisfying.

9: Babylon ∥ Revoroot ∥ Dir. Suzuki Kiyotaka: This is the first Strand-type anime. Babylon is incredibly hard to describe and, having only seen it once, I'm not even fully confident in saying what it's about. It is a wild ride that meditates on some serious themes and seems to come to conclusions that won't be entirely comfortable for a lot of readers. This is one you really have to experience for yourself.

8: Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari ∥ Kinema Citrus ∥ Dir. Abo Takao: The most discoursed-about series of 2019 ends up being a surprisingly mature take on the isekai tensei genre. Like the best entries in the genre it features a protagonist who is deeply flawed and Naofumi's journey to learning to trust and love again is genuinely moving. It definitely does come off a bit like an incel fantasy at first but it is ultimately way more nuanced than that could ever suggest. Also, Raphtalia is best wife.

7: Kouya no Kotobuki Hikoutai ∥ Gemba ∥ Dir. Mizushima Tsutomu: Tsutomu, you son of a bitch, you did it again. While Kotobuki doesn't reach the rareified air of Garupan (pun not intended) it is very much in the same vein, and offers unending joy to any nerd who loves warplanes or just aviation in general. The script from the always-excellent Yokote Michiko is tight and compelling and gives a genuinely interesting backdrop to the frenetic plane action. Kotobuki is an excellent example of the power of showing rather than telling, something anime is woefully bad at: the fact that Kotobuki's isekai setting is never really expounded on makes it that much more interesting.

6: Hitori Bocchi no Marumaru Seikatsu ∥ C2C ∥ Dir. Anzai Takefumi: If Katsuwo's other work to be adapted into anime, Mitsuboshi Colors, is about being a child, then Bocchi is about the fraught transition from childhood into early adulthood. The titular Hitori Bocchi will be a frighteningly relatable character (my comment for the first episode on my blog was 'We Are All Bocchi') but unlike other series clearly aimed at alienated nerds, the show never feels sorry for Bocchi and most importantly, Bocchi doesn't feel sorry for herself. The show is explicitly about the importance of stepping outside of your comfort zone and although it's hard for Bocchi to do this, with the help of her friends she's able to work up the courage necessary to grow from a scared child into a functioning young adult. Also she's cute as fuck.

5: Machikado Mazoku ∥ J.C. Staff ∥ Dir. Sakurai Hiroaki: This is one of the best Kirara anime in ages. Kohara Konomi and Kitou Akari are a wonderful comedic combination, and Shamiko is probably the cutest girl of the whole year. She's pretty much the definition of the phrase "moe through helplessness" which makes her quest to be an evil demon truly hilarious. Like all the best Kirara anime, Machikado Mazoku slowly becomes a yuri anime as Momo's character develops and it becomes increasingly clear that she's just hard gay for Shamiko. I could watch these two be tsundere for each other forever.

4: Joshikousei no Mudazukai ∥ Passione ∥ Dir. Takahashi Takeo: There were a lot of excellent comedies this year and I always find them hard to review. Where Mudazukai particularly excels is the crassness of its characters: like the title suggests these aren't your typical cutesy anime JKs. They crack dirty jokes, take the piss out of each other, and feel more genuinely like friends than a lot of high school girls in anime. Akasaki Chinatsu in particular is pitch-perfect as 'Baka,' its like she was born to be stupid. Probably the funniest show of the year, even though I have one comedy ranked above it.

3: Senkizesshou Symphogear XV ∥ Satelight ∥ Dir. Ono Katsumi: The fact that a Symphogear series could end up this high on the rankings is something like a miracle. After years of me shitting all over it for incomprehensible plotlines and disposable characters, they somehow not only fixed it in the last season, but even retroactively redeemed some of the elements from those shitty third and fourth seasons and created some of the most thrilling moments of the year in the process. It even goes as far as to reach back to the first season and address the latent themes of Japanese nationalism that have always hung over the show in resolving Tsubasa's character arc. XV delivers such a satisfying conclusion that it fully justifies the past six years spent on developing the Symphogear series in a way I never thought possible. It's a beautiful thing to behold.

2: Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai ~Tensai-tachi no Ren'ai Zunousen~ ∥ A-1 Pictures ∥ Dir. Hatakeyama Mamoru: The romantic comedy is probably the most prolific genre in late night anime, and Kaguya-sama stands shoulder to shoulder with the greats. Everything from the voice acting (Koga Aoi should be a superstar, and Kohara Konomi is already on her way to being a household name) to the animation to the direction to the writing is superb. Kaguya even delivers in spades in the "romantic" side of "romantic comedy" which isn't something every rabukome can say. The number of series that I can say have made me cry from laughing and from emotion is pretty small, but Kaguya is proudly among them.

1: Araburu Kisetsu no Otome-domo yo ∥ Lay-duce ∥ Dir. Andou Masahiro & Tsukada Takurou: After all these years, Okada Mari has finally delivered her magnum opus. There has perhaps never been a more frank discussion of female adolescent sexuality than Araoto, drawing heavily as it does from Okada's own lived experience as a confused and bullied teenager. These girls are fragile people who are walking a knife's edge between childhood and adulthood, and they don't always keep their balance. As someone who didn't grow up as a girl, it's not something I can intrinsically understand, but it's a testament to Okada's writing that Araoto MAKES you understand what it's like to be a teenage girl going through puberty. It's ugly, it's dangerous, it's scary, and... it's something every woman goes through. Araoto deftly tackles themes of discovering ones sexuality, homosexuality, and the pressure put on young women by a society that both sexualizes them against their will but also demands that they remain chaste and pure. It is unlike almost anything else that's ever been made in this medium, and that's why it's my anime of the year.

Honorable mentions... Like I said above, this was a strong year for comedy so some good series didn't make the cut. Ueno-san wa Bukiyou was a great showcase for Serizawa Yuu's comedic chops (which us Pripara fans have known about for years) and featured some of the most memorable gags of the year... Kemurikusa saw Tatsuki triumphantly return to television with his first full length work since Kemono Friends, and I frankly found it to be better than Kemofure; a truly enjoyable work of post-apocalyptic science fiction... Speaking of science fiction, I also feel compelled to mention Kanata no Astra, which seemed underappreciated but ended up being an extremely well-written SF series. Of course, we also have to mention Kono Yo no Hate de Koi wo Utau Shoujo YU-NO if we're talking about science fiction; I didn't particularly like YU-NO's second half that much, but it's worth watching if only to understand where so much of modern anime comes from in the first place.

The awards go to...

Best Actress: Koga Aoi as Shinomiya Kaguya, Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai. I mentioned above that this girl should be a superstar, and it's frankly absurd that she hasn't gotten more leading roles considering the considerable talent she shows off as Kaguya. She's a one-woman wrecking crew in this series, with her ability to effortlessly straddle the range between "cold and detached psychopath" and "petulant 8 year old throwing a tantrum" being the lynchpin of a lot of the series fundamental humor.

(Honorable mention: Akasaki Chinatsu as "Baka," Joshikousei no Mudazukai; Yukino Satsuki as Magase Ai, Babylon)

Newcomer Seiyuu of the Year: Kohara Konomi. It's a sweep for Kaguya-sama, and the voice acting is a big part of the reason that show was so exceptional. It kind of feels like cheating to give this to someone who's already played a Precure, but Toei were just really ahead of the curve on this one. 'Koko-chan' exploded onto the scene in 2019 between her roles as Fujiwara-shoki and Shamiko in Machikado Mazoku, with a distinctive vocal style and a knack for comedic delivery. Several of the most memetic lines of the year, like Fujiwara's "Don da yo!" and Shamiko's "Kore de katta to omou nayo!" come courtesy of her, and I feel like that ability to stick in people's minds is a testament to her level of talent. Though I gave Koga the nod overall for her performance as Kaguya, it's clear that Kohara is the one the industry has earmarked for future success with the level of prominence she's had over the past year or so, so she gets this award.

(Honorable mention: Fairouz Ai. "Fai-chan" made a splash thanks to her unusual background, but she's also proven to be a talented actress after appearing from seemingly out of nowhere to play Hibiki in the Onegai Muscle anime. It's out of the scope of this post, but she really made an impression in Oshibudo as Eripiyo, but her body of work is still too thin for her to win this award outright. She's shown she has a knack for the funny with her brusque and aggressive delivery, but I'd really like to hear her as a dramatic lead sometime soon.)

#best of the year

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