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letterboxd-loggd · 1 year
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Memories of Murder (살인의 추억) (Salinui chueok) (2003) Bong Joon-ho
December 28th 2022
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cinemoments · 5 months
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Memories of murder, dir. Bong Joon-Ho, 2003.
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twilightronin · 7 months
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A Bittersweet Life - Kim Jee Woon 2005
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lavender-rosa · 1 year
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"That’s so weird … A while back, a man was here looking into that hole. I asked him the same question. Why he was looking there … He remembered doing something here long ago, so he came back to take a look."
"Did you see his face? What did he look like?"
"Well... kind of plain."
"In what way?"
"Just...ordinary..."
Memories of Murder (2003)
dir. Bong Joon-ho
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blackramhall · 1 year
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살인의 추억 - Memories of Murder Bong Joon-ho (2003)
val3n_roig
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thebutcher-5 · 2 years
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Memories of Murder
Benvenuti o bentornati sul nostro blog. Nello scorso articolo abbiamo continuato a parlare di horror indipendenti (cosa che vedrete molto spesso qui) e siamo arrivati a parlare del recente Son. Una storia che vede una madre e suo figlio vivere una vita tranquilla, almeno fino a quando una setta non li rintraccia. Lei faceva parte di questa setta satanica ed era fuggita da loro poco prima che…
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thoughtfulfangirling · 4 months
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2024 Reads
Another human invented marker of time has passed moving us from one year to the next. It's a good reason to start over my lists right?! XD 2023's list can be found here! 2024 starts below!
You Made a Fool out of Death with Your Beauty - Awaeke Emezi
Pussypedia: A Comprehensive Guide^ - Zoe Mendelson & Maria Conejo
The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek -Kim Michele Richardson
Meru - S.B. Divya
The Cadaver King and the Country Dentist: A True Story of Injustice in the American South^ by Radley Balko & Tucker Carrington
Watching the Tree: A Chinese Daughter Reflects on Happiness, Tradition, and Spiritual Wisdom^ - Adeline Yen Mah
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong
The Last Days of the Romanovs: Tragedy at Ekaterinburg^ - Helen Rappaport]
Pride and Prejudice* - Jane Austen
Fresh Girl - Jaida Placide
Butts: A Backstory^ - Heather Radke
The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen
The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides
The Blue Sword - Robin McKinley
In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex^ - Nathaniel Philbrick
A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the 1846 U.S. Invasion of Mexico^ - Amy S. Greenberg
This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed: How Guns Made the Civil Rights Movement Possible^ - Charles E. Cobb Jr.
This Is Your Mind on Plants^ - Michael Pollan
The Silent Patient*~ - Alex Michaelides
Finding Me^ - Viola Davis
Wuthering Heights# - Emily Bronte
Exit Strategy~ - Martha Wells
The Girls Who Went Away:^ The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe V. Wade - Ann Fessler
Bowling Alone:^ The Collapse and Revival of American Community - Robert D. Putnam
Fugitive Telemetry%~ - Martha Wells
The History of Wales^*% - History Nerds
The War on Everyone^% ~- Robert Evans
Searching for Black Confederates:^ The Civil War's Most Persistent Myth - Kevin M. Levin
The Great Influenza:* The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History [2004] by John M. Barry
Network Effect~ - Martha Wells
Zelda Popkin:^ The Life and Times of an American Jewish Woman Writer - Jeremy D Popkin
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon
Currently reading: The Assassination of Fred Hampton and Medical Apartheid
Key: * = Reread ^ = Nonfiction ~ = Read with Empty % = Novella #= Doc book club
My goal for 2024 is for 40% of my reads to be nonfiction. I've had two years within the recent past where I managed 20% of my reads to be nonfiction, so I'm aiming to double that. THIS WILL BE HARD FOR ME! Not because I don't enjoy nonfiction but because I enjoy fiction a lot more and have a lot more practice reading it. Haha Also for me, I am in circles where I'm just going to have more awareness of fictional books that I'm likely to enjoy more so than nonfiction. I'm kind of hoping that this years journey will change that a bit too!
Okay, below the cut I'm putting the nonfiction books on my tbr, most of which I have the lovely people of Tumblr to thank for the recommendations!
1968: The Year that Rocked the World
The Age of Wood; Our Most Useful Material...
The Assassination of Fred Hampton
Behind the Scenes: Or, Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the...
Being Human:
The Big Oyster: History on the Half Shelf
Birdseye: The Adventures of a Curious Man
Bowling Alone
Brave the Wild: The Untold Story of Two Women Who Mapped...
Butts: A Backstory / Evermore Recommended
The Cadaver Kin and the Country Dentist / Automatuck9
Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America
Dancing in the Glory of Monsters: The Collapse...
Dear Senthuran
DisneyWar
Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with...
Finding Me (Viola Davis)
The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed...
The Food of a Younger Land
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women...
The Glass Universe
The Great Hunger: The Story of the Famine...
The Great Influenza
Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of an Abused Woman
The History of Ireland
The History of Scotland
The History of Wales
How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
The Indifferent Stars Above
In the Heart of the Sea / ecouterbien
In the Wake of the Plague: The Black Death...
The Indifferent Stars Above
The Last Days of the Romanovs / Automatuck9
Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer
Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical...
Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During the Crisis...
A New World Begins
Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous...
This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get you Killed / Empty
Radium Girls
The Road to Jonestown
Paper: Paging through History
People's Temple
Pussypedia / Bookstagram Rec
Salt: A World History
Say Nothing
Sea Biscuit: An American legend
Searching for Black Confederates
This is Your Mind on Plants
Unmasking Autism
The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes - And Why
Watching the Tree / found all by my little self
We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow we Will be Killed...
A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the.. / Rose
The Writing of the Gods: The Race to Decode the Rosetta...
I will actually add to this list as I get more recs and whatnot. And I still have some coming which I ordered from Thriftbooks. Once those are here, I'll add those. I'm a little sad there aren't more memoirs, but there's plenty of time for that yet! This is already 37 books, and given lately I've been reading about 70 (nonfiction may slow me down tho), these should give me plenty of ability to reach my 40% goal. Now it's just a matter of if I do it XD
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barbielore · 3 months
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Barbie has had tie-ins for the Olympic Games before, including both the Summer and Winter games as well as the Paralympics.
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(Finding that post to link back to made me realise that I said I was going to do a post about past Winter games dolls, but I haven't done so.)
As of time of writing this post, there have not been any announced tie-in dolls for the 2024 Paris games, but I think it's highly likely that there will be.
I have recently discovered that there was a bit of controversy over the dolls for the Tokyo games in 2020/2021, and I feel it appropriate to draw attention to it.
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This was during a time when Mattel were really pushing diverse line-ups in the Barbie brand. In fact, there was a press release (links to it now dead but it was quoted in some other articles) in which they discussed that the collection was designed to “highlight inclusivity and innovation”.
However, some people subsequently questioned this, as the line does not contain any Barbies of Asian appearance - despite the Games being held in Japan!
Mattel's official statement was that the Skateboarder Barbie was intended to be read as an Asian athlete however that they "fell short".
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I am not going to question whether this doll is or is not intended to depict an Asian athlete - however this was a disappointing effort given the promise of inclusivity.
Some Asian athletes have been depicted as Barbies - for example volleyballer Hui Ruoqi has a She-roes depiction.
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And snowboarder Chloe Kim has a highly sought after Barbie depiction too.
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However going forward Mattel really could do better to ensure that, if they are going to market a brand as being diverse and inclusive, that they actually do follow through on that promise.
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softguarnere · 1 year
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💚cast your mutuals as band of brothers characters💚
I have several of these in my ask box, and I just haven't gotten to them because school has stolen all of my free time. But since this is the most recent one, we'll consider it an answer to all of the curious people who have asked me to do this 🫶🏼
@brassknucklespeirs was one of the first friends that I ever made in this fandom, and I'm always super grateful for her friendship 💕 Bella has to be Guarnere for sure. She's the perfect balance of caring and chaotic - always sending a virtual hug when you need it, but would not hesitate to help you hide a body
Okay, so @latibvles is definitely Webster to me. Lex is such an incredibly talented writer with a magnificent felicity of expression, the coolest OCs ever with lovely names to match, but is also so encouraging of other peoples' work and is always down to help when a character needs a good name, or if you need to scream over thematic parallels
Lipton definitely has to be @mccall-muffin. Kim is the loveliest ever and she just gives off such a gentle and friendly vibe. She's always there with a kind word and encouragement, and she's also so productive. Like, I am insanely jealous of her ability to come up with cool ideas and put them onto the page so quickly!
@liebgotts-lovergirl was so hard to cast! I have to go with Speirs because it just works 🤌🏼 I was honestly so intimidated when we first became friends because she's so cool 👏🏼 She's also got a heart of gold and is one of the sweetest people I know
@mrs-murder-daddy just gives off Roe vibes to me. Such a sweet soul, and I always love being tagged in your lovely fics, as well as seeing you in my notifications
Martin has to be @stolemyspoons, and this is one of those castings that just relies on the ✨vibes✨ because they just seem so organized and on top of things 👏🏼
@currahee is Shifty, for sure 🫶🏼Always has a kind word of encouragement and just seems like such a lovely person overall
Winters would be @emmythespacecowgirl because like Winters, she seems very chill, but also very intimidating (in a good way)
I feel like @mads-weasley just has such Nixon vibes, in the best possible way. I'm also just obsessed with how well she writes him, if we're being honest
Liebgott will forever be someone I associate with @almost-a-class-act 😌🤌🏼Another example of me being obsessed with the way that someone writes a character - you just do it so well!
This isn't every mutual by any means, but this was fun to do :) Thanks for the ask, Anon! 💕🕊️
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beardedmrbean · 11 months
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The Iowa Supreme Court prevented a six-week abortion ban that was signed into law several years ago from going into effect.
The court was split in a 3-3 decision Friday on the case, meaning abortion remains legal in Iowa.
The 2018 bill, which was signed into law by Gov. Kim Reynolds, prevents abortions from being performed once cardiac activity can be detected, which typically occurs around six weeks of pregnancy, before many women know they're pregnant.
However, the law was struck down by a district court in January 2019, which ruled that the law violated the Iowa Constitution and that there was no state interest in banning abortions so early in pregnancy.
In that ruling, Polk County District Judge Michael Huppert referenced a 2018 Iowa Supreme Court decision in regard to a different bill that attempted to restrict abortion, in which the justices had written "a woman's right to decide whether to terminate a pregnancy is a fundamental right under the Iowa Constitution."
urrently, abortion is banned in the state after 22 weeks, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research group focusing on sexual and reproductive health.
Patients who want an abortion in Iowa must have one in-person counseling sessions and then return at least 24 hours later for the abortion.
After the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade last summer, Iowa's highest court in June 2022 reversed the 2018 decision and concluded that abortion is not protected by the state constitution.
Since the 2018 decision, the composition of the state Supreme Court had shifted with Reynolds, a Republican, appointing four of the seven justices.
But the court disagreed that it could revive a law that had been struck down years prior.
"The State appealed [the January 2019 ruling], and now asks our court to do something that has never happened in Iowa history: to simultaneously bypass the legislature and change the law, to adopt rational basis review, and then to dissolve an injunction to put a statute into effect for the first time in the same case in which that very enactment was declared unconstitutional years earlier," Justice Thomas Waterman wrote in the court's decision Friday.
The justice added, "In our view, it is legislating from the bench to take a statute that was moribund when it was enacted and has been enjoined for four years and then to put it into effect."
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thekimspoblog · 2 months
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Introducing myself to a new mutual.
Me: I'm mostly on here to yell about how Kim should be allowed to become a villain if/when she gets her own spinoff.
Them: Like an alternative universe? 👀 or in the breaking bad timeline
I’ve never heard anyone say that before sounds pretty cool she def would fit the roll
Me: I'd like to see her story continue after BCS. My headcanon is that she "relapsed" pretty hard back into being Slippin' Kimmy, given how clearly miserable she was trying to be a "normal" person in Florida. I also think it would be interesting if her ruthlessness found an outlet in the form of joining the reproductive rights movement; I honestly feel like it was an oversight how BCS never brought up the attacks on Roe.
Most of my fanfics also involve her going back and starting a family with Jimmy if it's not too late. But admittedly that part is mostly just wish fulfilment.
I guess I would specify that when I say "villain" I really still more mean "antihero". I think Kim Wexler works as a Mary Sue for addressing many contemporary social issues, some with easy solutions and cartoon villains to defeat, some with no perfect solutions available whatsoever; my favorite character arc in BCS was easily the Mr. Acker subplot.
But even if she is actively trying to be a moral person, it's more interesting if Kim is not omniscient and frequently makes a wrong or questionable choice when faced with a trolley problem. Walter White was only ever interested in his own self-aggrandizement, but if I was going to give Kim her own series to go on another power-trip, I'd like to see her trying to make the world a better place and failing. And even in the situations where she does help more people than she harms, she is networking with (and frequently antagonizing) many extremely rich and brutal people, so even when everything goes according to plan, this lifestyle is still dangerous for herself and the people who love her. And in that sense, even if she means well, it's still a selfish goal to pursue.
Them: That’s so so interesting, I always thought that the way BCS ended was great. It was bittersweet. But when I think about it, actually it would be really cool to have an elaboration of Kim. Kind of like El Camino where Jesse got an ending he deserved after all Walt put him through. Even so it is a little jarring to have no follow up on Kim after the end of season 6. I know that morally she is not the best person (as with literally everyone else in the series) but I can’t help but feel she did deserve better despite this. With Jimmy, I couldn’t ever see him going back to being slippin Jimmy but for the opposite reasons. He never really attempted to have any moral compass, in comparison. Which is what ultimately led to his demise. I guess the one thing they have in common is that despite their differences they’re both faced with higher powers and the system that failed them both.
Oh! Do you have AO3? Or do you upload elsewhere
Me: Yes I'm on AO3.
In the new story I'm working on, Jimmy has one job: say no to Kim. I agree he has never self-actualized, so in SK I do have him trying to find his own path. He meditates now and shit.
You can see my fan trailer in my pinned post.
I think he probably would go back to being Slippin Jimmy if Kim told him to, given that she was the main reason he stopped in the first place. But yes, the way I want to write it, even he has roads he's not willing to go down again and would leave her if she ignored his warnings.
Them: So cool :) I’ll check it out when I have time
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lotuscayrp · 2 years
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The Iowa state Supreme Court has overruled a 2018 decision it previously made that deemed abortion rights protected under the state constitution.
The reason for the reversal, which was announced on Friday, appears to only have happened because four justices, nominated by anti-abortion Gov. Kim Reynolds (R), were placed on the state’s highest bench over the past five years. Six of the seven Justices overall were appointed by Republicans.
The ruling does not make abortion illegal in Iowa, as federal standards and other laws in the state remain in place. But it does remove the previously held recognition from the court that abortion is a fundamental right under the state constitution.
The ruling will likely allow for Republican lawmakers in Iowa to have the ability to place greater restrictions on the procedure in the near future, should the federal Supreme Court overturn Roe v. Wade later this summer.
“We don’t know yet what [Republicans will] propose, but previously-blocked laws [by state courts] have included a 72-hour waiting period and a ‘fetal heartbeat’ bill,” Des Moines Register politics reporter Katie Akin observed.
The 5-2 ruling examined a case involving a 24-hour waiting period to have an abortion, a law that Republicans passed in 2020. A lower court deemed that restriction unconstitutional. In reversing its 2018 ruling, the state Supreme Court sends the case back to the lower court to reconsider, based on the new precedent that says the state constitution doesn’t recognize and protect abortion rights.
Justice Edward Mansfield, writing the opinion for the court, said he and his like-minded colleagues “[rejected] the proposition that there is a fundamental right to an abortion in Iowa’s Constitution subjecting abortion regulation to strict scrutiny.” However, Mansfield said that the court would not produce any new guidelines for the time being, noting that the federal Supreme Court was set to rule on the issue itself.
Chief Justice Susan Christensen, who was also appointed by Gov. Reynolds, dissented from the ruling, stating that the majority overturned the court’s previous precedent at the first opportunity it had. The court was doing so too quickly, ignoring the standard of stare decisis — the idea of respecting previous precedents established by courts.
“Out of respect for stare decisis, I cannot join the majority’s decision to overrule” the previous precedent, Christensen wrote in her opinion.
The Chief Justice also recognized that the only reason for the reversal of the previous ruling was a change in its ideology. The ruling on Friday would make people question the legitimacy of the court, she added.
“This rather sudden change in a significant portion of our court’s composition is exactly the sort of situation that challenges so many of the values that stare decisis promotes concerning stability in the law, judicial restraint, the public’s faith in the judiciary, and the legitimacy of judicial review,” Christensen said.
“This is not to say that we may never overrule precedent that is clearly incorrect because we are worried about the public’s perception of our decision in relation to the change in our court’s makeup. … But we must only use this power when there is a ‘special justification’ over and above the belief ‘that the precedent was wrongly decided,’” Christensen wrote, quoting previous rulings that established how courts were meant to treat matters relating to stare decisis.
Critics blasted the court’s decision to overturn a precedent and the manner in which it was done.
“This decision was made possible by Gov. Kim Reynolds’ addition of Republican justices to the court — nothing more, nothing less,” wrote Slate senior writer Mark Joseph Stern.
“Today’s ruling is a step backwards for Iowa,” Democratic state Rep. Jennifer Konfrst said. “Like a large majority of Iowans, I believe in reproductive freedom. I will continue to fight like hell to ensure every family has access to safe, legal abortion.”
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dhaaruni · 2 years
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I liked the screenshots you posted from the republican woman. I mean I personally believe that we should be totally morally and ethically neutral about abortion and it carries the same moral weight as like a root canal surgery. However I understand that many ostensibly pro choice people find that pov appalling and that if we lose those people’s support then we’re in a worse position. I get the desire to be flippant about abortion but if it alienates people then we’re kinda worse off. Idk, but it’s interesting to see another point of view on this stuff
That's how I feel as well.
Iirc, this woman is a moderate Republican and I think she voted for Joe Biden over Trump, but she's Catholic, and her perspective on abortion is probably closer to the median American than me or you who thinks abortion has the same moral weight as like a root canal or appendectomy.
I think it's far more important that women like her have the choice to have an abortion, even if they don't take it, than alienating anybody that has even the slightest misgivings about abortion on demand.
There are millions of American women, especially in the Midwest, who don't want abortion to be illegal but didn't have to worry about it with Roe intact. Now, millions of women across the Midwest, so Wisconsin, Ohio, Iowa, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, which were all won by Obama in 2012, are going "oh shit" because they're mostly white, mostly secular, and there's a whole lot of Obama -> Trump voters in there. Ohio has a 6-week ban in place, and Iowa's governor, Kim Reynolds is seeking one and will likely get it within the month. The only thing keeping Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania from turning into Ohio or Iowa is their Democratic governors.
Like honestly, I hate to say it but abortion rights in this country aren't going to be saved by people like me or you who are reliable Democratic voters who support social justice measures, they're going to be saved by somewhat racist white women who don't want their bodily autonomy gone. And that's okay, I can live with that, although a lot of the people running NARAL and Planned Parenthood and similar Dem-aligned orgs likely can't.
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elfwreck · 2 years
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Free ebook: We Organize to Change Everything - Fighting for Abortion Access and Reproductive Justice
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Here's the table of contents:
Introduction by Jessie Kindig
Part I. It’s Time to Fight
  1T he Fight Is On Why We’re Going Backwards on Abortion Rights—and How We Can Rebuild a Fighting Feminist Movement - by Jenny Brown
  2 Pañuelos Verdes, Acompañamiento, Solidaridad The Global South Has Much to Teach the North in This Moment - by Naomi Braine
  3 Women Themselves Are the Solution Las Libres Has Been Helping Women Access Abortion and Human Rights in Mexico—and Now the United States—for Over Two Decades - by Verónica Cruz Sanchez, interviewed by Elizabeth Navarro; translated by Elizabeth Navarro
  4 The Attacks on Native People’s Reproductive Autonomy Amicus Brief Filed in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization Supreme Court Case
Shared on behalf of Cecilia Fire Thunder (Oglala Lakota), the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center, the Native American Community Board, and Team: Counsel of Record Lael Echo-Hawk; Legal Team Lauren van Schilifgaarde and Sarah Deer; Epidemiology Team Abigail Echo-Hawk and Kaeli Flannery; and Research Assistant Elise Higgins
  5 Clinic Defense Is Advocating for Our Patients Defending the Last Abortion Clinic in Mississippi - by Derenda Hancock and Kim Gibson; interviewed by Anne Rumberger
  6 They Were Wrong to Bet on Our Silence Shout Your Abortion’s Rapid Response to the Dobbs Decision - by Amelia Bonow
  7 What We Need Now Is More of What We Did The Militant Multiracial Grassroots Campaign That Won Abortion by Popular Referendum in Washington State—in 1969 - by Barbara Winslow
Part II. Reproductive Justice Is Justice for All   8 Empty Choices Women of Color and the History of Reproductive Justice - by Marian Jones
  9 Sovereignty Lost Not Only Has Native People’s Right to Parent Our Children Been Stolen from Us, but So Has Our Right to Abortion—Even with Roe v. Wade in Effect - by Jen Deerinwater
10 Aborto Libre, Seguro y Accesible In Puerto Rico, a History of Colonization Led to an Atrocious Lack of Reproductive Freedom - by Raquel Reichard
11 Labor Crisis in the Clinics When You’re Not Focused on the Workers, Who Is Going to Provide the Care? - by Crystal and Luna, in conversation with Amy Littlefield
12 White Supremacy and the Antiabortion Movement Abortion Bans and Regressive Gender Roles Increase the Number of White Babies Born While Criminalizing Women of Color - by Erin Matson and Shireen Rose Shakouri
13 Your Body Is Not Your Own What If We Understand the Criminalization of Abortion as Part of Creating a Larger Criminalized Class? - by Cheryl Rivera
14 Abortion Behind Bars The Carceral State Already Removes Bodily Autonomy and Any Illusion of Reproductive Choice - by Victoria Law
15 Pregnant and Prosecuted In a Post-Roe World, the Rights of the Fetus Would Supersede Those of the Person Carrying It—but for Many Pregnant People, This Is Already True - by Marie Solis
16 One Struggle, One Fight Abortion and Transgender Healthcare Are Under Attack by the Same Forces Using the Same Playbook - by Dr. Mary K. Bowman
17 Pregnancy and Abortion Only by Measuring How Much We Enjoy This Right Can We Measure the Social Wealth We Enjoy - by Movimento di Lotta Femminile di Padova; translated by Arlen Austen
Part III. Get Yourself Some Pills
18 Maybe Abortion Isn’t as Complicated as We’ve Been Led to Believe The Underground Network of Midwives, Herbalists, Nurses, and Activists Providing Home Abortions Across America - by Lizzie Presser
19 How to Give Yourself an Abortion Get Yourself Some Pills - by Arielle Swernoff illustrated by Mattie Lubchansky
20 Self-Managed Abortion Services It’s Safe, Effective, and Done All over the World - by Naomi Braine
Resource Guide and Directory Fight Back, Get an Abortion, Find Legal Resources, Fund Care, Tell Your Story - by the Editors
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lgcsoyoun · 1 year
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Congratulations
Never in a million years did Soyoun ever think that her sense of humor would get her anywhere in life. She always thought it is just a nice bonus to whatever personality she already has. However, being nominated for a variety award in her rookie year says otherwise. Soyoun supposes that maybe making a fool of herself and being game for anything the PDs throw at her has its merits. As long as the cast, crew, and audience are all happy with her, she’ll take whatever she can get. 
However, there are others in possible contention for the Variety Star Award, and Soyoun can’t help but convince herself to manage expectations. After all, just because she’s from Legacy doesn’t guarantee that she’ll get it. If she doesn’t get it this year, she’ll just have to work harder to do even better. 
Even then, Crystallis have won three awards so far as a group, and her group mates have also won individual awards. Soyoun can’t help but want one, too. After all, she still craves for validation. It’ll suck if she doesn’t get one, but it’s not the end of the world if that happens. 
They all worked hard, Soyoun thinks to herself as she politely claps for all the other celebrities nominated in her category. It’s easy to maintain a bright expression on her face. After all, it’s still exciting to be here. Win or lose, she  made it this far. Half of Soyoun dares to hope that maybe she might have a chance. 
And then, the presenter finally calls it. “Crystallis’ Astrid!” Despite all the applause around them, Soyoun smiles and blinks as she takes it all in. She just won her first individual award as a debuted idol. Her brand of messing around has some merit after all... It takes one of the other members prodding her to get a move on toward the stage. She makes a mental note to thank them for it later. It is only at that moment when she realizes that “Holy shit. This is for real.” She snaps out of her stupor as she walks on stage with a bright smile, making sure to bow to the seniors and other artists she passes along the way.
She hadn’t cried when Crystallis won any of the awards, preferring to be the smiling face in the team. She hadn’t cried when she got the award as LGC Girls more than two years ago. Now, all she feels is a big smile on her face as she walks up the stage. It’s this big bubble of happiness that’s probably visible in her eyes as she bows to and shakes hands with everyone she meets along the way.  She supposes she’ll cry when she gets home to talk to her family tomorrow morning, but that can wait. 
As she accepts the award and thanks the presenters, Soyoun then steps up to the podium where she’s supposed to give a short speech. 
“It’s an honor to receive this award. Thank you to CEO Park Jeongan, teachers Kim Hyuncheol, Lee Iseul, Roe Kangdae, for taking a chance on a girl with big dreams but had no idea how to achieve them. I hope to do better and make you proud. To our other teachers and coaches, thank you for not giving up on me despite all my shortcomings. To all the stylists, hairstylists, road managers, and the rest of the staff who made this possible.” 
She thanks her past self for actually coming up with a speech. Otherwise, she would have been stuttering on TV a lot. “To the PDs, thank you for giving me a chance to be part of your variety shows. It is an honor and pleasure to work with you all. I hope this isn’t the end of our working relationship and more shows are in store, yes?” She playfully winks at the cameras. 
“To my seniors and fellow guests, thank you for making me more comfortable to be myself and have fun,” she continues. “I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself without your guidance.” 
She takes a deep breath. “To the Crystallis members, thank you for being so understanding when I had to leave for my filming schedules. I hope I made you proud to have me as part of the team.”   
“To my parents, maybe you guys were onto something when you said I made people laugh. Well, look where all those years of making fun of me have brought us.” Soyoun lifts her trophy for emphasis. She lets out a breath, “To Junhwan and Max, I hope to my antics on TV made you proud to have me as an older sister. Finally, to the fans, thank you for your constant support and unconditional love! I hope to be an Astrid you are all proud of. I love you. Skrrrt skrrrt!”  
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