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tarotwithlove · 4 months

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PICK A CARD ⋆ 2024 Predictions!

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · BOOK A 2024 YEAR AHEAD READING WITH ME (GENERAL OR NSFW) · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

• reprieve from financial struggles. sudden positive turnaround or breakthrough in avenues you are, and have been, actively pursuing. modelling is significant, think also modelling clay.

• ‘california love’ by 2pac + 2 of cups. finding your soulmate… in another person or in a passion.

• doing things you wanted to do as a child or teen - wearing bolder colours or a specific style, getting a specific tattoo, starting a specific hobby, pursuing a specific career path.

• ‘this year was a movie’. barely having time to catch your breath with how things are changing . acting/directing breakthrough for some.

• getting your first camera for some, first luxury bag for others.

• beachside apartment.

• be careful of oversharing; of sharing plans, hopes, and dreams, before things are finalised. you may win the lottery this year, remember to protect your information as much as possible. be wise with your energy AND your money.

• start saving and investing.

• ‘the truth fool: be honest’. be honest with yourself most of all this year. if you can’t be honest with yourself about your dreams, goals, desires, regrets, and mistakes, who can you be honest with?

GROUP TWO

• highs and lows in mental health. trial and error with finding treatment or meds that agree with you. finally getting a proper diagnosis and help around june/july.

• finding out you’re cancer free or celebrating another year being cancer free. may be someone you’re close with, too. ringing the bell with a loved one. a clothing boutique, for some.

• adopting a stray ginger cat - especially if you don’t consider yourself a cat person.

• working at or opening your own animal shelter.

• ‘peach’ by the front bottoms. unrequited love. confessing to someone and being led on or being rejected; for some, realising the person you’re seeing is using you as a distraction or to get over the person they actually have feelings for.

• letting go of limitation with the way you live your life. being more adventurous. going skydiving, scuba diving, sperlunking, or deciding to become a nomad and travel while volunteering.

• this is your year of fateful connections, with things working out for you in unimaginable ways. you may meet a future business partner at a coffee shop or a high-paying client at the gym or at a hardware/crafts store.

• ‘the empty fool’. this is an oracle card of unlimited potential. the guidebook says: “the empty fool invites you into nothingness for a change. he carries no message and has no meaning. he’s simply here to remind you that your life is your own, and only you can create it. but before you manifest the things you desire, you must let go of all previous things.” you can achieve so much this year - if you don’t stand in your own way. even when things seem difficult, do not give up. your persistence will sow your rewards.

GROUP THREE

• suddenly coming into a large amount of money or into an abundance of opportunities - you have the choice to share this new wealth with others or to use it to found a brand new life for yourself.

• ‘say something’ by a great big world & christina aguilera. entering your first romantic relationship, having to heal wounds about love and self-worth you thought you had already healed. experiencing your first breakup.

• leaving behind your family or people who rely on you. moving to another city or country.

• nine of pentacles + the lovers. new job opportunities offering you the chance to have your own space and independence for the first time. new apartment.

• major theme of this year: choice. having to choose between yourself and your family; between yourself and your friends; between yourself and your lover. especially between your career/desired career and others.

• “do what feels right”. follow your heart.

• your intuition levelling up. seeing improvements in your finances thanks to a tarot, astrology, divination business or social media accounts.

• ‘habit’ by sekai no owari.

• learning to play an instrument.

• ‘the fool’s tax: live and learn’. facing the consequences of making the wrong choices time and time again, of following the wrong path, of fighting against destiny. you may feel things are not working out in your favour this year, no matter how hard you try or how much faith you have. it may be time to change tactics or to change paths entirely.

GROUP FOUR

• allowing yourself to be more free in all aspects of your life – especially sexually, for some. you may have had a bad breakup in the last year or two, which has made you generally hesitant to date again or enter another relationship, but this year sees you taking positive steps to turn your love life around.

• ‘get up 10’ by cardi b. standing on business. being able to look back at this year proudly, proud of yourself and what you experienced and achieved.

• getting cosmetic surgery or transforming yourself with skincare, diet, and gym - being able to look at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.

• writing a love song or romance novel. going viral/blowing up/sales increasing because of social media word of mouth. think of what happened to ‘this is how you lose the time war.’

• spending time in nature. going camping and hiking, getting your dream job working in a game reserve, national park, or otherwise with the environment.

• welcoming your second child, for some. having twins. teaching your child/children about your job; one of them telling you they want to follow in your footsteps and do what you do and, thus, taking steps to make sure this is possible.

• saving for higher education.

• making the best of difficult situations. giving a sick pet all the love and care you possibly can and making sure their last moments are peaceful ones.

• ‘the faith fool: have faith’. things are working out in your favour, even when they don’t feel like it. don’t forget that.

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pink-amethyst-tarot · 7 months

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♡A message from your higher self ♡

P I L E O N E ~ P I L E T W O ~ P I L E T H R E E

Take what resonates and leave the rest

P I L E O N E : ♡ Don't Give Up On Yourself ♡

Three of Swords, The Sun (Reversed), Six of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles

Bottom of the Deck: Three of Wands (Reversed)

I know that you have been through heartbreaking times that have made you feel as though you would never see the other side of things. You have felt that you have been at a standstill, with no kind of progression in your life. There are things that are happening in the 5D world that have not come into the 3D world yet. Please stay patient. Stay strong. Right now is the best time to take care of yourself. Focus on your inner child and doing things that make you happy and make you feel warm. I'm hearing something about cozy video games (I love those, too) and also bubble baths! You are going to receive help soon that will lead to you to your success! There is also a message of be kind to yourself when it comes to the way that you speak to yourself. You deserve love and support for yourself!

Channeled Song: Treat Myself by Victoria Justice

I need to treat myself better // I know I can't be so unkind // I know that I deserve better // If only you could hear what goes on in my mind // I wouldn't say the things I do to anybody else // So, why's it okay to say to myself // I need to treat myself better than I do//

P I L E T W O : ♡ Forgive Yourself ♡

Six of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Five of Cups, Temperance

Bottom of the Deck: Seven of Swords

Your higher self wants the message to start of by saying that they are just so dang proud of you! There is a version of yourself that you used to be that you weren't very proud of. In the past you may have had to do things that aren't aligned with who you are now. You aren't that person anymore though and your higher self is calling on you to finally give yourself some grace and forgiveness. You have worked so hard to get to this point and you have had to face many disappointments. You have found the balance that you have been working toward and have found a peace that you never thought could be yours. I keep hearing that message of "I'm so proud of you" and it's not just from your higher self but from maybe someone who has passed away and is on the other side, watching over you. This is someone who has seen you at your lowest and who feels so grateful that they got to watch you rise from the ashes like the phoenix they always knew you were. You have come so far. Be proud of the work that you have done. You deserve all the good things that have and will come to you.

Extra Message: It's on the way and it's going to be better than anything you could have imagined. (I don't know what this means but if it resonates with you, please take this message.)

P I L E T H R E E : ♡ You found me when no one else was looking ♡

The Star, Five of Wands, Five of Cups, Six of Cups, Page of Swords, Two of Cups

Bottom of the Deck: Ace of Swords

You are no stranger to disappointment, betrayal and heartache. I can feel that you have been through a lot but despite it all, you never lost hope. Your faith stayed strong through it all. You fought through your battles with your head held high. You found your joy through it all. You are such an inspiration to the people in your life and anyone that hears your story. People are amazed at your kindness despite all that you have been through. You may have met or will meet your soul family through sharing your story and even come into union with your soulmate/divine counterpart/twin flame. The person that you are attracting is going to be able to open up to you in ways that they never have before. It will surprise them in a good way. You are just what this person needs. I'm hearing wedding bells, white dress and banquet so if that resonates, please take that message.

I'm hearing "you are so beautiful" over and over again so this is definitely conformation that someone has a romantic person coming in and it will be life changing.

Channeled Song: You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson

You found me when no one else was looking // How did you know just where I would be? // You broke through all of my confusion // the ups and the downs and you still didn't leave // You found me//

hello! Just want to share that you can get a personal reading on my etsy!

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bitchy-craft · 8 months

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Which Disney Princess You Are | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out which Disney Princess you are. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions > Paid Readings

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

Belle is known for her intelligence, curiosity, and love for reading. She is kind, compassionate, and independent-minded, often seen as different from the villagers due to her interests. Belle values inner beauty and is willing to look beyond appearances.

Throughout her journey, Belle learns to see beyond the surface and discover the goodness within people. She teaches the Beast to be kind and open-hearted, and in return, she finds love and understanding. Belle's story emphasizes the importance of valuing inner qualities over external appearances and the power of empathy in changing hearts.

Pile 2:

Mulan is courageous, determined, and resourceful. She is willing to defy societal norms to protect her family and bring honor to them. She is skilled in combat and is willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good.

Mulan's journey involves disguising herself as a man to join the army and fight in her father's place. Through her experiences, she learns about self-discovery and empowerment. She proves that women are just as capable as men and that bravery comes in many forms. Her story teaches the value of authenticity, breaking gender stereotypes, and standing up for what is right.

Pile 3:

Tiana is hardworking, ambitious, and determined to achieve her dreams. She is a skilled cook and aspires to open her own restaurant. Tiana values dedication and doesn't believe in relying solely on luck or magic.

Tiana's journey involves being transformed into a frog and navigating the challenges of the bayou with Prince Naveen. Throughout her adventure, she learns that while hard work is important, it's also essential to make time for the things that truly matter, like love, friendship, and enjoying life. Tiana's story teaches the importance of finding a balance between pursuing one's dreams and embracing the joys of life along the way.

Pile 4:

Rapunzel is known for her curiosity, creativity, and optimism. Having spent her entire life in a tower, she possesses a strong desire to explore the world beyond. She is also an accomplished artist and has a strong sense of empathy and kindness.

Rapunzel's journey begins when she leaves her tower and encounters the charming thief Flynn Rider. As she embarks on an adventure to see the floating lanterns, Rapunzel learns about self-discovery, independence, and the complexity of the outside world. She realizes that she has the strength to make her own decisions and determine her destiny, even in the face of challenges and unfamiliar situations. Through her relationship with Flynn and her interactions with various characters, Rapunzel learns about trust, friendship, and the importance of following one's heart.

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thatdammchickennugget · 11 days

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Can you please write a little something for enzo to do with a soulmate au, i adore your writing, thank you <3

Something Special

pairing - lorenzo berkshire x gn!reader

warnings - fluff

a/n - thanks for requesting 💕

wordcount - 673

The city hummed with its usual cacophony of sounds as you navigated the crowded streets, lost in the rhythm of your own thoughts. The concept of soulmates had always seemed like a distant fairytaleto you, something reserved for the pages of romance novels. More and more of your friends had been running into their soulmate, but after waiting for so many years already, you had started to think it would never happen for you. But little did you know, destiny had other plans in store.

It was a serendipitous moment, amidst the hustle and bustle of the city, when you first laid eyes on him. He stood out from the crowd like a beacon of light. His presence was magnetic, drawing you in with an inexplicable force.

As you passed by, your eyes met his, and for a brief moment, time seemed to stand still. It was as if the universe had hit pause, allowing you to bask in the warmth of each other's gaze. In that moment, you felt a stirring deep within your soul, a feeling you couldn't quite put into words.

It wasn't until later, as you sat alone in your favorite cafe, that the realization dawned upon you like the first light of dawn. You had actually seen soulmate, the missing piece of your puzzle that you had been searching for all along. The thought sent shivers down your spine, filling you with a sense of awe and wonder.

The bell above the cafe door chimed, signaling the arrival of a new patron. Glancing up from your seat, your heart skipped a beat as you saw him once again, standing there with that same captivating presence that had drawn you in earlier.

Your breath caught in your throat, disbelief washing over you like a tidal wave. Twice in one day, it seemed almost too good to be true. Was this some sort of cosmic joke, or had fate truly smiled upon you?

His eyes scanned the room, and when they met yours, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. It was as if he too couldn't believe the coincidence of crossing paths again so soon.

With trembling hands, you beckoned him over, unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you. As he approached, the air seemed to crackle with an electric energy, the universe itself conspiring to bring you closer together.

"Hey," you greeted him, your voice barely above a whisper, still awestruck by the sheer improbability of the moment. "What are the chances of running into you twice in one day?"

He chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Seems like fate has a funny way of bringing people together," he remarked, taking a seat across from you.

His charming smile widened as he settled into the chair opposite you, his gaze warm and inviting. "I suppose fate works in mysterious ways," he replied, his voice smooth like velvet. "But I'm not one to question it when it leads me to such delightful company."

His words sent a flutter through your chest, a rush of warmth spreading from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your fingers. It was as if every nerve in your body was attuned to his presence, resonating with a harmony that transcended mere coincidence.

"I'm Enzo, by the way," he continued, extending a hand across the table. "Enzo Berkshire.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you reached out to shake his hand, the simple act sending sparks flying between you. Your voice was barely a whisper as you struggled told him your own name.

Enzo's eyes sparkled with curiosity as he studied you, as if trying to unravel the secrets hidden beneath the surface. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said, his smile never faltering. "Perhaps fate has something special in store for us today."

And as you sat there, lost in conversation with your soulmate, the world around you seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the two of you in its wake.

Enzo Taglist - @slytherinboysappreciation @urmomsgirlfriend1 @starsval @gillyweeds @sir-elian @harryslittlebitch @gayforyelena @whoreforfictionalmen18 @ravenclawprincess33 @sbrn0905 @helpimhopelesslyinlove @Yhiiil @themarauderswife7 @moonlightreader649 @ihatemyexs @chgrch @nat1221 @thestarlithideout @iamaslytherin0 @bath1lda @ohmaigwad @pinkposttragedy @allshitsangiggles @hoeforvinniehackerrr @mildly-delulu @h3artz4soph @sunasbbie @marsbars09 @vcosette @meepycheep @aglady13 @rinalouu @floswife @ariensversion @agent-tempest @s0urw00lf @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @pinkestfloyd @xlinxdax0704 @chulabeans @l0v3do11 @unstablereader @acourtoflostandwanderingstars @catiwinky @wolfstar-marvelsfan @captainstanksblog @istill-dream-ofyou @pinktreee @ceehance @lizhub @theadventuresofanartist @iamgayforyourmom1501 @feistyfox47 @nat1221 @i-think-you-are-gr8 @cas-planet @csmt_m @selyselyselyse @mrsriddles-blog @the-sylver-dragon @poppysrin @camille-1019 @laniirackssss @slvtfortheo @chosenoneslver @txzii @c0rnf1akessss @yourenogoodforme @opheliamalfoy236 @jeannie-beannie @starzioo @itsarajr @starsfortaylor

Masterlist

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Get Added To The Taglist

#enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #enzo berkshire x you #enzo berkshire imagine #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire imagine #harry potter #slytherin boys #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mari writes

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5-point-2 · 2 years

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teehee

[image description: a digital drawing of bdubs and ethoslab from the fic 'the ballad of bull ramos'. bdubs is a short man with a short beard and messy hair. he's wearing a hoodie and basketball shorts. etho is a tall man with light colored hair, glasses and a mask. he's wearing a fluffy coat and sweatpants. they're hugging. the background is navy blue, with fireflies dotted around, and at the bottom are the words "but here, in the park, two men held each other, and they were all that mattered here or ever again." end id]

#art mass #resonant bell world #ethoslab #bdubs #ethubs

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ricciardosheart · 5 months

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Starry Serenade on the Riviera

pairings: Charles Leclerc X female (gf! reader)

The French Riviera basked in the golden glow of the afternoon sun, casting its warm embrace over the luxurious city of Monaco. Yachts gently swayed in the harbor, their sleek forms mirroring the indulgent lifestyle that defined this opulent corner of the world. In a stylish apartment overlooking the azure waters, (Y/N) awaited the return of her boyfriend, Charles Leclerc, the acclaimed Formula 1 driver.

As the door swung open, revealing Charles with a mischievous smile, (Y/N)'s face lit up with surprise. She hadn't expected him so soon. Charles approached with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, the scent of lilies filling the air as he handed them to her.

"Surprise, mon amour," he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. "How about a spontaneous adventure this afternoon?"

Intrigued, (Y/N) couldn't help but smile. "An adventure? I'm in. What do you have in mind?"

Charles winked playfully. "It's a secret. Just trust me."

They ventured down to the harbor, where a sleek yacht named "La Belle Vie" awaited them. Charles had arranged a private cruise along the French Riviera—an intimate escape from the bustling world of Formula 1 and a celebration of their love.

As the yacht set sail, the gentle hum of the engine accompanied the laughter and chatter of the couple. They sat on the deck, sipping champagne and enjoying the panoramic views of the coastline. The Mediterranean breeze carried the promise of an unforgettable day.

"I thought we could have our favorite meal together," Charles revealed, unveiling a picnic basket filled with delicacies. The aroma of truffle-infused dishes mingled with the salted sea air, creating a sensory symphony.

(Y/N) couldn't hide her delight. "You think of everything, Charles."

He grinned. "Only the best for you."

Their lunch turned into a culinary journey, with each bite a testament to the pleasures of indulgence. They laughed, shared stories, and savored the flavors of their favorite dishes, creating memories against the backdrop of the azure sea.

As the yacht cruised along the coastline, Charles suggested watching a movie under the open sky. A cozy setup awaited them on the deck, complete with blankets and a projector. They nestled together, the gentle rocking of the yacht adding to the cinematic experience.

The movie played, but their attention often wandered to the stars above. Charles pointed out constellations, weaving tales of the cosmos. Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the magic of the moment, wrapped in each other's company.

As the afternoon sun began its descent, casting a warm hue over the sea, Charles spread a blanket on the deck. They lay down, hand in hand, gazing at the sky as if trying to capture the essence of the French Riviera in their hearts.

"I wanted today to be about us, away from the pressures of the racing world," Charles confessed. "You're my anchor, (Y/N), and moments like these make everything worthwhile."

(Y/N) smiled, her eyes reflecting the love she felt. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Charles. This is perfect."

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in a riot of colors, Charles and (Y/N) remained on the deck, the French Riviera embracing them in its timeless allure. The yacht continued its journey, carrying the couple through the twilight of the Mediterranean.

In the quiet of the evening, with the city lights of Monaco twinkling in the distance, Charles whispered promises of more adventures and shared dreams. (Y/N) nestled closer, feeling the heartbeat of their love resonating with the gentle rhythm of the sea.

The yacht sailed on, leaving behind a trail of shimmering reflections on the water—a testament to a love that found solace in the beauty of the French Riviera. Charles and (Y/N), wrapped in the serenity of the moment, sailed into the night, knowing that some memories are destined to linger like the stars in the Mediterranean sky.

As the night deepened, Charles and (Y/N) found themselves in the heart of the Mediterranean, far from the city lights. The yacht glided through the calm waters, the only sound being the gentle lapping of the waves against its hull. Above them, a canvas of stars stretched endlessly, creating a celestial spectacle that mirrored the depth of their connection.

Wrapped in a blanket on the deck, Charles and (Y/N) traced constellations with their fingers, lost in the vastness of the night sky. The quietude of the moment allowed the whispers of their hearts to become the only conversation that mattered.

"I never imagined Monaco could be so peaceful," (Y/N) mused, her eyes fixed on the stars. "It's a different world out here."

Charles nodded, his gaze reflecting the shimmering reflections of the stars. "Monaco is known for its glamour and excitement, but there's a serene beauty to it when you escape to the sea. Just like our love—thriving in the quiet moments."

They lay in silence, the yacht gently rocking them in a cradle of tranquility. The hum of the engine became a lullaby, and, in that cocoon of peace, they felt like the only two souls in the universe.

As the night progressed, Charles guided (Y/N) to the yacht's prow, where the vast expanse of the Mediterranean stretched before them. The moon, a radiant pearl in the velvet sky, cast a silver trail across the water, inviting them into its nocturnal dance.

"Shall we dance?" Charles extended his hand, a playful glint in his eyes.

(Y/N) laughed, taking his hand. "Why not? A moonlit dance under the stars—it sounds like a dream."

The yacht became their ballroom, and the soft music playing in the background set the rhythm for their dance. In the embrace of the night, with the stars as their witnesses, Charles and (Y/N) swayed to a melody that only they could hear.

Time lost its relevance as they danced under the cosmic chandelier, wrapped in the enchantment of the moment. Charles held (Y/N) close, their hearts beating in synchrony with the gentle ebb and flow of the sea.

As the dance came to an end, Charles whispered, "You're my favorite melody, (Y/N)."

They returned to their blanket, savoring the intimacy of the night. Charles reached into a small cooler and produced a box of chocolates—each piece a miniature work of art. Together, they indulged in the sweet symphony of flavors, savoring the richness of both the chocolates and the moment they shared.

With the yacht gently sailing back towards Monaco, Charles and (Y/N) found themselves on the deck once more. The city lights came into view, transforming the horizon into a glittering panorama. The French Riviera, with its blend of glamour and serenity, became the backdrop to a love story that unfolded like a cherished novel.

As the yacht docked, Charles and (Y/N) stepped onto the harbor, hand in hand. The night had woven a tapestry of memories that would forever be etched in their hearts. The adventure, initiated by a surprise visit, had transformed into a journey of love, intimacy, and shared dreams.

They walked along the moonlit promenade, the echoes of their laughter harmonizing with the gentle lull of the Mediterranean. Monaco, with its grandeur and sophistication, embraced them as they strolled through its enchanting streets.

On a secluded terrace overlooking the city, Charles and (Y/N) found a quiet corner to sit. The night unfolded before them—a canvas painted with the hues of their emotions. They spoke of dreams, of the future, and of the enduring love that had guided them through the labyrinth of life.

The city below seemed to hush in reverence as Charles took (Y/N)'s hand and looked into her eyes. "This night was about us, about the simplicity of love and the magic that happens when two hearts are in sync. Thank you for being my partner in this beautiful dance."

(Y/N) smiled, her eyes sparkling with affection. "Thank you for a night that feels like a fairytale, Charles. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

As dawn approached, casting a gentle glow over the horizon, Charles and (Y/N) lingered on the terrace, watching the first light of morning paint the sky. The French Riviera, with its timeless allure, had witnessed a love story unfold—a story that began with a surprise visit and evolved into a symphony of shared moments, laughter, and the quiet magic of the night.

Monaco, with its yachts and city lights, stood as a testament to the grandeur of their love—a love that found beauty in simplicity, thrived in moments of serenity and danced under the stars of the French Riviera. As the sun rose over the Mediterranean, Charles and (Y/N) embraced the dawn of a new day, knowing that their love story would continue to unfold in the enchanting world they had created together.

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sol-thorne-shitpost · 1 year

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I am once again having a thought™ and I just went on a full-on rant to a friend, thought I'd share my thoughts with y'all to see if anyone agrees.

Yes, it's about Hadesgame Patrochilles, buckle up.

Currently reading the Iliad, I noticed that not only are Achilles and Patroclus extremely well-written in Hades (that we're all aware of, I think), but also that there are many many layers to their relationship and the one they have with Zagreus.

First thing that hit me while reading the og Patrochilles and how they're written is how drastically different they are in Hades compared to their original alive selves. They're basically each the complete opposite of what they were when they were alive: Achilles, once prideful, arrogant and impulsive, once his rage was appeased, now became wise, patient, calm, an actually good mentor to Zagreus, in whom he must see a lot of his younger self. Patroclus, on the other hand, once famously gentle and kind, became bitter and dismissive. That can easily be explained by the fact that decades and decades alone after death can drastically change someone. Achilles, so guilty about what his pride did to Patroclus, matured and became wiser; and Patroclus, because of years alone abandoned, lost his faith in the glory of war (and in Achilles).

They basically became the opposite of what they were when they were alive, because of years of loneliness and longing and reflecting on this war they were a part of.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL GUYS. When you dig a bit (mostly by chatting with Achilles and listening to Patroclus ramble to himself), you learn that what made them mostly change, aside from the circumstances of their deaths, is their longing for each other, and that despite all that change, they both retain the ONE TRAIT that caused their deaths.

Achilles, even in death, remains unbelievably stubborn, unshakable in his decisions (or in this case, his decision to stay away from Patroclus so that he can rest in Elysium) until Patroclus (through Zagreus) manages to shake him out of it.

And Patroclus, ever so bitter and depressed Patroclus, remains deeply kind and generous. He broods there in his glade, but when Zagreus shows up, polite, just passing by, in need of help, Patroclus offers him what little he has to keep going.

It drives me insane to see that after dying, Patroclus is the one who became impulsive and ready to 'risk it all', because he simply has nothing left to lose. Meanwhile, Achilles, so scarred by Patroclus' death (caused by him and his hubris and his pride), is terrified of risking anything, because the one thing he has left to lose is Patroclus' place in Elysium, and he simply can't bring himself to understand that Patroclus wants to be by his side anywhere rather than alone up there.

And they could have never reconciled without Zagreus' intervention. Because somehow, Zagreus is a mirror of both of them, in his own way.

And because on top of being impusilve and stubborn (like Achilles) as well as kind and caring (like Patroclus), Zagreus is the one guy down here, the only one who fights against his fate with all his goddamn might.

Because he wants to see his mother. He wants to find his place in this world. He wants to be acknowledged and respected. So he fights, against the Fates themselves (by just being alive, he does, I'll remind), against Hades, to get what he wants. Achilles and Patroclus both succumbed to their own destinies in the worst way. Of course it would resonate with them.

Maybe I'm thinking too hard about this. But there are so many parallels to draw here! Think about Achilles, who practically raised Zagreus, instructed him in myths, history, combat and arms. Seeing this kid, a prince, gifted for combat, craving for recognition and respect? That would ring a bell. And Zagreus is already a dual kind of person, he's the red eye and the green eye, he's the Olympian and the goddess with a mortal father. He's rage and fierceness (Achilles) and he's kindness and generosity (Patroclus).

And Zagreus hates the status quo. In his own life, and in the one of others. He does this for multiple people in Hades (Sisyphus, Orpheus and Eurydice, Hypnos and Thanatos, Nyx and Chaos...), he just can't stand people suffering when he knows there is something that could be done. He rattles the house and wreaks havoc in his father's well-ordered world, because he knows damn well he's the only one with enough balls to do it.

The thing is that if Zagreus had never intervened, Achilles and Patroclus would never have seen each other. Achilles took the first step toward redemption by giving up his place in Elysium (his glory, his pride, what he fought so hard for) so that Patroclus could stay there instead, as a way of apologizing for what he did to him and atone for his mistakes; but after that, he was left frozen in his own guilt, refusing to try and think of a way to see Patroclus again. And Pat, well... He's given up. Like how he gave up on reasoning with Achilles back in Troy. So he just waits there, even he doesn't know what for. It takes this bisexual disaster of a god to barge in and shake things up, until Patroclus finally reached out to Achilles, gives him that message (risk it all), the last push Achilles needed to finally move.

So yeah I just think they're neat-

This concludes my thought™.

#hades #hades game #patrochilles #the iliad #tsoa #achilles #patroclus #zagreus #supergiant hades #so yeah what you have to conclude from this is that Zag should gain a new pair of dads-#I am very normal about them #sol brainrot hours

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oggirlboss · 1 month

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[eat!]

pairing[s]: rich! yandere!levi ackerman x anorexic!afab!reader

warnings: disordered eating, insecurities, implied [light] stalking.

summary: reader struggles with healthy eating and levi isn't blind to it.

artwork belongs to gemmsenn on twitter.

the last bell of the day resonated in the hazy minds of everyone in the classroom. the teacher sighed, quickly jotting down the page numbers for the upcoming homework assignment while everyone scrambled to put their school supplies away into their backpack. you piled all your books into your bag and slung it over your shoulder as you morphed into the crowd that was forming at the door, pushing and shoving past each other into the hallway. you tried your best to weave through the sea of people, carefully maneuvering yourself to avoid all contact with unwanted persons. upon emerging into the sunlit courtyard, you began your trek back home. it's roughly two miles to get from school to your house, but the walk home wasn't very familiar yet. you started walking to and from school at the beginning of this week so you could get some extra exercise in each morning and afternoon. you were glad for the opportunity it provided you and your mother because she didn't have to worry about driving you, and you didn't have to worry about her pestering you into eating breakfast before you left for school. it allowed her to get a good night's sleep everyday, which she really needed after she started working a combined afternoon and evening shift at the local diner in order to put away some money for your college fund.

she's such a good mom. you smiled at the thought. she deserves a better daughter.

these self-deprecating thoughts washed over you in waves, and if you didn't snap yourself out of it, you would be caught in a lethal undertow. just as you closed your eyes to submit to the numbing feeling, you heard a car engine purr to life, and were startled to see it heading your direction, going faster and faster by the second. it screeched to a halt beside where you stood on the sidewalk, suspense held a tight grip on your bones as the driver's window slowly rolled down, the inky blackness inside the car becoming exposed to the sunlight that illuminated the world outside of it.

"oi, [l/n]!" a deep voice sounded from inside the car, it made you uneasy that this random person knew your name, but something about it was strikingly familiar. you tried to remember who this person could be, but before you could could actually think, the driver leaned his head out the window to smile up at you.

"levi?" you hunch over and grip the straps of your backpack tightly. levi was the vice president of the student council and the co-founder of a food bank on the outskirts of town. levi ackerman was also notoriously known around school for the large sum of money he inherited from his deceased uncle kenny. levi and his mother used to be nobodies that lived in the less savory parts of town, but now they owned the biggest mansion on sina avenue, where all of the other rich people lived. it was also thirteen miles in the opposite direction. "what are you doing here? don't you live on the other side of town?" you didn't mean to sound rude, but his behavior was a little weird.

"oh." levi let a faint blush dust his cheeks. he didn't think you knew that about him, but he was pleased that he had gained a big enough reputation at school for you to notice him. after all, he had worked very hard for it. "in all honesty, i was following you. you looked lonely and i wanted to offer you a ride home."

"that's nice of you." you smiled, thinking of a way to decline without being rude.

"is it?" his head tilted to the side as a weary smile graced his features.

"i mean... yeah." maybe it was your imagination, but something about him was a little off-putting. you'd thought it was weird how during lunch today you turned around to look at levi and saw that he'd already been staring at you. it was odd to see that the day after you lost your chapstick, he started using the same brand. it was unsettling to see that he was always reading a book that you had read before and placed on the bookshelf in your room. it was all just too weird for your liking, but you were raised to trust your intuition. "i'm fine, thank you for the offer though. have a nice afternoon." you quickly spoke out before walking briskly in the other direction.

"wait!" he shouted. slowly following you with his car. "please let me drive you home. i don't want you walking alone on the side of the road."

"it's really no problem. it's how i've always gotten home." a harmless lie, but it couldn't be helped. you needed to get this guy off your tail. he let out an exasperated sigh.

"please, [y/n]. get in the car." you didn't want to be mean to him, since he's never been anything but nice to you. you really were getting too soft. wordlessly, you walked around and sat in the passengers seat of his car. he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "thank you."

his car had an all black interior, and his bag was in the back seat. you pulled the straps off your back and leaned over the console to place yours beside his. he couldn't stop himself from admiring the swell of your breasts as your back arched to reach where you wanted to place your backpack. he waited patiently for you to buckle your seatbelt before driving off. you thought it would be best to pursue a conversation rather than sit in an awkward silence. you pondered over a question to ask him as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"what kind of music do you listen to?" you inwardly applauded yourself for the excellent on the spot question.

"i try not to listen to music very often. it's distracting."

"oh." maybe your attempt to make conversation wasn't as excellent as you thought. you didn't excel in small talk, and your small circle of friends definitely proved that. it's not like they weren't good people, but sometimes they spread rumors about you and even say disgusting things to your face. sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. your earliest memory was your mother bandaging up your scraped knee after mikasa ackerman pushed you to the ground and called you nasty names. that lesson was ingrained in your mind, but it's message never rang true. words do hurt. they sit in a boiling pot in your brain until it spills over the edge, scalding everyone it touches. it was becoming more and more difficult to keep focus lately, your mind was barely holding on by a thread. there was white noise filling up the car, distracting you from everything that existed outside of your thoughts. you didn't even notice he was talking until he poked your shoulder. shaking yourself out of your stupor, you looked over at levi with a dazed look on your face.

"i'm sorry, did you say something?"

"i asked if you wanted to grab some food along the way." he tilted his head, wondering where your focus had gone for those few seconds. it may have been a bit weird, but it didn't raise any alarm in him. meanwhile you were panicking at the thought of food.

"no no no. i'm good." you hurriedly stated. "thanks for the offer though."

"really?" levi asked, looking down at the way you held your shrunken stomach. "because it's no problem."

"no, i promise i'm not hungry at all." he must've seen through your façade, his eyebrows furrowed as he scrutinized how odd you were acting.

"not even if it's fast food? i promise it won't take any time at all."

"no. no, i just want to go home."

"please?" this immediate refusal of food was beginning to trouble him. what if there was something really wrong with you? "i insist."

you slowly began to understand that you weren't winning this battle. concessions needed to be made. "okay, i guess." levi visibly relaxed.

"alright, where do you want to eat?"

"anywhere should be fine."

"okay..." he paused as he thought of a restaurant you might like. "what about jack in the box?" you hissed at the thought of their high calorie menu.

"i dunno. what about panera bread?" you felt a bit guilty about the suggestion since it was so far away from where you were, but seeing levi's eyes light up at your choice made it all melt away.

perfect. he thought. the only panera bread is two towns away, it'll give me more time to spend with her. "that sounds wonderful. much better than anything i would have come up with." you smiled a bit at his kind words.

"thank you."

the drive there was less awkward from then on out. levi seemed very interested in hearing you talk about books you like, and sometimes he would chime in if he didn't understand what you were saying. you however were very excited to have someone who was willing to listen to your raving antics. at least levi payed attention to you, and didn't brush you to the side like your few friends did. once you reached the drive through, you told levi your order and he relayed it to the person on duty. he handed you your food and tore at the wrappings of his sandwich as he drove away. you set your soup in your lap, wrapping your hands around the warm sides of the plastic container. he frowned at this.

"you aren't going to eat it?" he asked as he took another bite.

"not yet."

"but your soup will get cold?" you could have laughed at the innocent look in his eyes as he expressed his concern over your soup.

"oh, no. it'll be fine. i can just heat it up in the microwave when i get home." and before you knew it, you were already parked outside of your house. "this was fun. we should do it again." you smiled as levi nodded. he was already looking forward to it. you opened the door as you tried to exit the car, but you were probed by your curiosity to ask him the question that had been gnawing at you. "by the way, levi-" you turned around in your seat and met his cold eyes. dark brown hair fell over them, half obscuring his vision of you. he obviously needed to give himself a haircut. "how did you know where i live?"

"well, uh," he stalled trying to think of a good excuse. "i'm the vice president of the student council. it's only natural that i have access to the files of every student beneath my command and know their places of residence." you carefully saw through his defense.

"that doesn't sound like it would be nessacary to do your job though."

"what are you going to do? tell on me?" his words spoke of a challenge, but his eyes flaunted a certainty that reminded you that you stood powerless against the vice-president.

you bit your lip, hesitating to find the right answer. "i guess you're right." you grabbed your soup and your backpack and left him alone in his car. once you were back in the confines of your room, you thought back to your conversations with levi as you sipped at your cold soup.

levi's so pretty, but he'll never like you in that way unless you're skinny. there were some days where you saw the thicker girls on instagram and thought about how cute they were and how nice it would be to get back to a more stable weight, but other days made you feel disgusting for even considering that option. you used to be so passionate about losing weight and seeing the fat roll of your body. the lack of motivation to lose weight lately has turned you lazy, and it's gotten so bad that you've started to almost enjoy food again. there was a part of yourself that still harbored those thoughts, the ones that said it was better to be a combination of skinny and sad than fat and happy. but that didn't mean that you cared enough to change it.

most nights were spent crying into your pillow while scrolling through the saved thinspo on your phone and re-reading the underlined sections in your purchased copy of wintergirls by laurie halse-anderson. your mind always wandered off when you did these things. that was by far your biggest obstacle when it came to losing weight. the rational side of your brain tried to convince you that you were just like everyone else, and you deserved to eat just as much as they did. these thoughts were always drowned out by the self-deprecating ones. but that little seed that told you how worthy you were of food was always lingering, and sometimes you listened to it. of course you were overwhelmed with guilt when you binged, but that couldn't be helped. you needed to renew your vigor to stop eating so you can get to your goal weight. the hope that you could get smaller and prettier was the only thing that gave your life any meaning. it was by no means a life worth living, but it was yours. there were girls your age enjoying what life had to offer at parties and preparing for the rest of their lives in dim-lit libraries, but you didn't have the energy to spare much of either. instead you let the walls of your room cage you, and nested into the comforts of your bed as soon as you got home every night.

you couldn't afford to be doing those things now, not while you were fat. the bottle of laxatives rattled around in your backpack, but the sound was easy to ignore while your raging headache was at the forefront of your mind. it wasn't as if hadn't drank enough water to drown a fish today, and the three tylenol pills you swallowed in second period weren't helping to ease your pain at all.

all of this suffering will be worth it though when you get your new body. you'll be able to take pictures of yourself in the mirror and not feel embarrassed, and have boney hands that will look like they were picked off of a skeleton. you could sit daintily in levi's lap and feel him rub bruises into your staunch hipbones. but most of all you'll be pretty. you can finally look how you feel on the inside. but until then, you'll just have to suffer.

you were shivering down to your bones as you walked to school the next morning. you knew that you were more at risk for contracting an illness because of your abnormal eating habits, but as always, here you were placing your academics above your health. it was a struggle to open the wrought iron doors of school, the few people in the hallway oblivious to how you pulled and tugged at the handle to no avail. a scuffle of shoes behind you and a half-hearted sigh alerted you of the presence of a person beside you. "tch. can't even open a shitty door. you froze, recognizing the voice instantly. why did it have to be levi, of all people, to see you so weak?

"ah, sorry about that." you said as you moved to the side, allowing him to open the door for the both of you. he ushered you inside, quickly taking notice of how thin your sweater was. you clearly couldn't take care of yourself. not if you couldn't even look over the damn weather report that said the temperature would drop below freezing today. he walked slowly, not wanting you to get too far behind him. before he knew what he was doing, he turned to his side to say some snide remark to you about your clear lack of athletic prowess, only to go pale as he sees you aren't even there. he turned around to see that you were still breathing heavily and leaning against the wall. he hurried back over to where you stood, providing an arm for you to cling to as he supported your weight. you must've been quite the sight for him to be staring at you so worried. "you're pale as death. you look like you've seen a ghost." you joked, hoping that he would laugh and ease your nerves, but he didn't. he continued staring at you unblinkingly, like you had sprouted a second head.

"there is something wrong with you." he spoke softly so only you could hear.

"wow." you put the remaining energy you had into laughing and throwing a light punch into his shoulder. "you sure know how to offend a girl. i didn't even know you could be so rude."

"that's not what i meant and you know it." there was a flaming intensity in his face, he was only a few steps away from looking furious, and with every joke you tried to crack he stepped closer to that line. "do you need me to take you to the infirmary?"

"no, i'll be alright. plus you must have heard the horror stories that are told about nurse jaeger. can you walk me to my next class though?" you smiled up at him weakly. the worried expression on his face dropped, he looked like he was back to his old self. back to not caring enough to show a single emotion. he let you hold onto his shoulder as he walked you closer and closer to the nurses office. "very funny. this doesn't look like a classroom." you said as he helped you settle into one of the beds.

"i'll wait with you until the nurse comes back." he said. a sudden shout from the hallway roused you out of your thoughts. you turned to see nurse jaeger chewing out a kid for running through the halls as she chased after him, also running in the hall. it was quite the sight. by the time she'd tired herself out, she had come back to her office trying to catch her breath.

"ah, levi." she swallowed some air heavily. "it's good to see you again. what are you here for?"

"[y/n] wasn't feeling very well, so i decided to bring her to you."

"is this true, [y/n]?" she said turning over to you, bringing her hand up to feel for your temperature. you nodded, not meeting her gaze.

"well i'll see what i can do." carla quickly set out to gather all her medical instruments and place them on the bed as she started to tend to you. the bright light she shined in your eyes was starting to give you a headache and the tongue depressor she shoved down your throat tasted like it had been used. she pushed the thermometer too far underneath your tongue and squeezed your arm too tight as she took your blood pressure. "well, the good news is that you don't have strep, but the bad news is you're running a low grade fever, and your blood pressure is astoundingly low." she sighed. "i'll call your mom to come pick you up." your eyes widened as you realized the severity of this situation. if your mom found out you were sick she'd spoon feed you her awful chicken soup and you didn't have the time or patience to deal with that. the calories that alone contained were enough to give you a headache.

"wait! you don't have to do that. i can walk myself home. promise." carla was surprised at your outburst, especially since excuses were the first thing out of your mouth. carla hated excuses.

"well tough titties, sister. she's getting a call." carla was just about to place her hand on the phone before levi spoke up.

"you know nurse jaeger, i could walk [y/n] home and pump her full of advil and be back before school even starts." he pressed his index finger to the hollow of his chin while he thought about it. "and nobody would be the wiser." carla's brows furrowed as she sighed.

"i suppose that would be alright so long as you come straight back to school. no funny business." she waved her finger back and forth as she shook her head.

"thank you, ma'am." levi said as he helped you out of bed and out into the hallway. you were long out of earshot when you decided to speak again.

"thanks."

"for what? for helping you, or for getting carla to not call your mom?" he felt awkward trying to half carry you while others watched. "what was that about?"

"i guess i just don't want to bother her." you frowned at how pathetic you sounded. "she already does so much for me. i don't want to be a burden." levi opened the door for you and started ushering you towards the passengers side of his car.

"but she's your mother. you're allowed to be dependent on her, especially if you're sick."

"i know. i know. it's just, it's that, i don't want her to find out what i've been doing." levi tilted his head as he opened the car door for you and buckled your seatbelt. he thought about all of his observations, everything he'd written down about what he's seen from you, and it wasn't like he had seen you doing anything wrong. you were his perfect angel.

"what do you mean by that?" you were halfway passed out, leaning against the window as he rushed to get you back home. you felt a migraine start to form as you tried your best to loosen your aching body.

"i don't want my mom to find out i've stopped eating because i don't want her to worry." before you could comprehend what exactly you had said, you felt the momentum of the car halt to a complete stop. you were just at the exit of the school's property as levi put the car in park and turned to face you. shit. you were never going to make it home at this rate. you didn't mean for it to slip out so casually. your brain was just so foggy lately, and with this fever adding on to it, your thoughts were even more scattered. levi tried his best to remain calm as he thought of all the questions he had.

"why did you stop eating?" his brows furrowed. "is it to lose weight? i promise that you don't need to do that." you rubbed the tip of your shoes together and kept your gaze to the ground so you didn't have to look him in the eyes. you knew that if you looked into his eyes it would all feel too real, and that's when the tears would start. god, i'm such a crybaby. you thought as you pondered what your response would be to levi's question.

"it's less about losing the weight and more about experiencing what i'll have once i lose it."

"well what's that?"

"you know, people treat you nicer when you're skinny, and they call you pretty and stuff." your teeth pressed into your lip and were seconds away from drawing blood. "but that sounds stupid, doesn't it?" levi ignored your question entirely.

"is that it?" he sighed. "you want to be called pretty? i'll call you pretty right now and you won't have to lose the weight." your face scrunched together as you tried to think of another excuse.

"it's not just that, it will be easier to move without all the extra fat hanging off me, and i'll be able to fit in cute clothes, and i'll be able to sit in someone's lap without worrying about crushing them, and i'll have a flat tummy." you drummed your pointer finger on the tip of your chin as you tried to think of anything that would justify you starving yourself. "my ribcage will start sticking out more and i won't be insecure about having a double chin, because it'll get starved off my body. oh! and thin legs too. i really want to have skinny legs."

levi couldn't find it in himself to reply, he just stared at you with his mouth agape. how could you be so blind? how could you not see yourself the way that he sees you? "you don't need all of that." levi felt his voice crack more than he heard it.

"that doesn't mean i can't want it." your lips trembled as you felt the tears start to form. you knew this wasn't fucking normal, but you pretended to believe that there was no other option for you. "i want to be prettier, levi. i don't want to get better." you shifted around in your seat to face him and shoved your face into the crook of his neck. your arms wrapped around him and your heart plummeted when he didn't move to embrace you back. you just sobbed into his shoulder, getting the fabric of his nice shirt wet with your tears and snot. this was awful, but when he brought his arms up to hold you closer to him, you knew that this was the worst part. it wasn't the headaches or the purging or the memory loss. it was the feeling of being weak in front of the person you admired most that made the pain of every other part of life pale in comparison. you realized as you clung onto each other like a lifeline, that things couldn't get worse. you were comforted as you thought about how much better things could get if you kept levi by your side.

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phyrestartr · 7 months

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Simple Things [1] | Miguel O'hara x Male!Reader

# SFW, fluff, light comfort, light angst, male!reader, dad!reader, spider!reader, smoking, implied depression, implied trauma, old men just doing their best, dad energy, miguel is a sweetheart and a nerd, multi-part drabble collection

[ 1 ] Smoke Break | [ 2 ] We Change Like the Seasons | [ 3 ] Meet The Kids

Notes: Yes, this will have more parts to it! I'm editing the next bit as we speak (beheh) and it should be up within the week? Maybe? I keep bouncing around from draft to draft, so finishing parts can take a while, pls forgive :pray:

--Smoke Break--

You were just another hero. There wasn't much else to it, you'd decided, and in joining the Spider Society, the same rang true--Miguel didn't think much of it, you didn't think much of it, none of the others did, either. It wasn't a bad thing, no, it was just how it was when one gathered hundreds of superheroes together. Everyone was special in their own worlds, so being a cut above the rest when you were all insane super freaks was exceptionally rare.

Miguel O'hara, however, proved to be exceptional.

Even after all the time that stretched on, he still existed as an anomaly of sorts within HQ. Cool, calm, collected, he led everyone with his head held high and his words resonating like a church bell; everything he said became gospel, everything he said affected their way of saving the multiverse.

Miguel knew that.

You knew that.

Most thought him invincible, unyielding and unforgiving towards the laws of the multiverse, and most admired his dedication. You knew troops clicked well with strong leaders, that they felt secure in their mission and battles when lead by a brave soldier, but your experience-trodden understanding burned in the forefront of your memories.

To you, it was obvious. If you watched his back long enough, if you too often caught glimpses of what he thought were well-hidden tells, the fracturing became all too easy to see.

Miguel was breaking.

You knew that feeling well, the feeling of being unable to bend anymore, to have your limits pushed and surpassed, yet still somehow stay intact and working, like a frayed web.

Maybe that was why you couldn't keep him off your mind. Maybe your primal loneliness, the weeping cracks you'd endured on your lonesome, resonated with another's. Maybe it begged you to do something while you still had the chance.

You'd come to see him one day to force some baked goods into his hands and leave, the excuse that you and your daughters had made too much armed and ready on your tongue.

Yes, you were caring, and yes, fine, you were a bit awkward approaching your fearless, strict, hard-ass of a leader with a piece of pie in your hands like you were at some fucking chummy pot luck or parent-teacher night, so you needed an excuse, something to veil your heart. Were you supposed to tell him you were worried about him, or something? No, no, that'd come later (if there was a later).

You expected to see his broad back turned to you, to hear him mumbling to himself or talking into comms; instead, you found him tucked away in the corner of the lab, sat in an old desk chair, napping. His arms rested crossed over his chest, and his head hung down. It was reassuring, a nice reminder that Miguel, too, was mortal just like yourself

The corner of your mouth twitched into something fond and lopsided, though barely there, before quietly, slowly, you left the Tupperware container on his stage console and saw yourself out. You couldn't bear the thought of waking a fellow "old man" from a much-needed nap.

Time stretched the way it usually did; missions assigned, spiders injured, anomalies captured--nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary.

But, shit, were you tired. You were always tired, sure, but these days the stress of life and love threatened to break more of you down and grind you into dust. It must have felt terrifying. But you couldn't feel it. Your mind wouldn't let you.

The smoke from your cigarette burned your lungs as you inhaled, grounding you, and reminding you of your existence. You sighed, thankful, and rested your head back against the outside wall of the secluded little balcony you'd found in your mindless wandering. Smoking inside always got you an earful from anyone and everyone in all dimensions, anyway, so you figured you'd skip the scrutiny and take it outside right away. Besides, it was easier to think and wallow this way.

But the door beside you slid open, ruining your quiet. You sighed, letting your eyes fall closed, waiting for the intruder to say something, do something, make themselves known. Seems they weren't in a rush, however.

You cracked an eye open, and spied him. He stared out at the city, his city, and held a clean Tupperware box in his hands. Miguel's fingers drummed against its sides in thought. His twitchy, fidgety restlessness made him too endearing.

"Finished the whole thing, eh?" You asked, cigarette hanging limply between your lips. "Guess you really do have a sweet tooth."

Miguel huffed a laugh, short and sweet, before handing back the box. "Yeah, well, can't say no to homemade food. Besides, Peter stole some." His face soured, nearing an annoyed pout.

"Ah. Bastard." You took the box back, words of gratitude light under your breath. "I'll give him a piece of my mind later."

"Let me know how that works out since, well, that Peter doesn't listen to anyone." Miguel crossed his arms.

"Pretty sure he just doesn't listen to you, Boss."

"Oh, great. Even better." Miguel was smiling, despite his annoyance. His eyes, warm and sullen like those poppies from your memories, flickered over to you, drawing your gaze. You'd never had the chance to speak to him so intimately, to be the only one standing beside him. It felt like a privilege, but it was too mundane to be so. You welcomed it.

"Didn't take you for a baker," Miguel said. His eyes followed your fingers plucking the smoke from your mouth. "Or a smoker."

You sighed as you glanced down at the wisping cigarette. "Yeah, well. I'm not much of the prim and proper hero type, I guess."

Miguel tilted his head, curious. "Never even had a phase?"

You thought back, far back, but shook your head. "Nah, I don't think I ever really had any pep in my step. Not that I can recall, anyway." You took another drag to suffocate resurfacing memories. "...A lot happened before Spiderman happened." For a long moment, you watched the smoke coil. So did Miguel. "But you? I can definitely see you as a peppy youngster."

Miguel sighed, something exasperated and light. "Dios, you're making us sound old."

"Aren't we?" You quirked a brow, almost smiling as Miguel put his hands on his hips. "What, you think we're young when we got kids like Hobie and Gwen running around? Damn, Pav too. That kid's the epitome of 'friendly neighborhood Spiderman.' Don't even get me started on May--"

"Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop," Miguel motored out, raising his palm to defend against the painful truth. "I get it. Y'know, talking to you is a lot more humbling than I thought it'd be."

Oh. You laughed. It surprised you with how it exploded past your defenses, choked and ugly, hampered by the plume of smoke in your lungs. Your hand waved at Miguel as you got lost in your fit, tears pricking your eyes and a smile aching unused muscles.

"Y-you're a dick," you eventually wheezed. "Humbling?"

Miguel smiled, too smug. "It's just been a while since I met another miserable bastard."

"Is that self-awareness?" You flicked ash from the end of your cigarette and shook your head, the aftershocks of laughter still shaking your voice. "Incredible. Inspirational, even."

"Alright, now who's being the asshole here?"

"That'd be me."

"Ah. Self-awareness."

"What can I say? You've inspired me. Such a good leader."

"Yeah, well, inspiration and good leadership come with a fee." His eyes flicked to the Tupperware tucked under your arm.

Your brows raised. Huh. Unexpected. But you nodded, and tapped more wasted ash onto the ground. "You're lucky my kids like to bake. You got a hankering for anything?"

Miguel's lips parted, surprise painting his face cool shades. He blinked then, breaking from whatever spell he found himself in, and ran a hand through his hair. "I--ah. Yeah, just, anything. Whatever your kids want."

"You're gonna regret that, but hey, your call." A comfortable silence fell for a few beats before, very unlike your blasé self, you pressed for the sake of curiosity: "So? Were you a plucky youngster? Sparkling eyes, heroic intentions 'n all that."

Miguel's gaze, pointed at the city, stared through the buildings and perhaps into a time you were not privy to. The tightening of his jaw told you more than you needed to know.

"Yeah, I guess I was." Miguel took a step and rested his elbows on the railing of the small patio. "Things weren't easy back then, but..."

"You didn't have to look after the multiverse?" You wondered, voice soft. The other's unshakeable shoulders slumped. You stuck the cig back in your mouth as you thought about your own history, about what you wish you had the chance to do, about who you could have been, who you wanted to be.

"Did you at least get to live a little?" You asked, maybe a little bit to yourself.

Miguel nodded. "Yeah. But I think I started really living after I became Spiderman."

Somehow, you understood.

"Kinda ironic."

"You're telling me. But it was eye-opening. Life-changing, in a bad way, in a good way." He paused before nodding with contemplative shrug. "Humbling."

"Hm. More humbling than me?"

"If you can believe it."

You snorted and shook your head. "Guess I have no choice."

He hummed, agreeing. Miguel turned, leaning back against the railing and crossing his arms as he regarded you. "You must've had a 'the hero is born' moment," Miguel suggested more than he asked. "We all do." And he was right, logistically--if you were all Spiderman, you all had to have a moment where you really became a hero.

So, you thought for a long, slow moment.

But too quickly did something find a soft, hollow place to fester in your chest. The pain pierced so like losing yourself in December's glacial lakes, so wicked with languid tortures and polar punishments. The pain could fade if you stopped fighting, if you let the water pull you into the peaceful darkness, but you'd indulged in the shameful malady of shadows too many times; your patience and self-loathing had grown so thin.

You don't need to remember, the lady of the lake would whisper to you, voice dripping with tears in a way that sounded so much like her. She lulled you, she pulled you back in, she urged you to turn her way instead of fighting her, instead of reaching for the roiling inferno that was the past. In those moments, in her arms, you never knew if you'd find your way back to the surface, but you were not one to obediently decay in ignorance.

Her wail filled your mind as you breached the blaze, and found that sunny day in the Bronx, with the wind carrying the honeyed scent of summer life when you'd met that pretty little thing from the flower shop...

You twitched a smile. "Well...I guess I--"

"Hey," Lyla suddenly cut in, blipping into existence between Miguel and yourself. The level of relief you felt upon being saved from talking about yourself was unhealthy, but you silently thanked Lyla for it: memories of the blaze and the ice could be put aside for a while longer.

The sprite adjusted her sunnies before continuing, "totally loving the bromance here, really cute, but we got a new anomaly that needs some extra love. You guys feel like kicking some bad guy butt, buddy-cop style?"

"Sure," you cut in before Miguel could. You need out of this conversation now. "I call bad cop. Wanna see good cop Miguel butter up a baddie."

Miguel twitched. "Hey--"

"Oooh, me too," Lyla agreed, nodding sagely.

"I don't think I like you two being on the same side--"

"Let's get the show on the road, Boss." You butted your cigarette out on the wall and set down the container. A warm sunset glow bloomed across you as a portal whirled open, shimmering and humming.

You tapped his chest playfully with your knuckles. "Last one there buys me a six pack."

With a hop, skip, and a jump, you were gone.

Miguel rubbed his face. Lyla fluttered around his head. "Well? Better go after him, good cop."

"You. You aren't allowed to team up with him," Miguel stated as he headed towards the portal. "Starting now, colluding is not allowed."

"Oh, what? Sorry, connection's getting fuzzy--"

"Lyla, don't--"

"Sorry--shhhrk--breaking up--" and she, too, disappeared.

Miguel rolled his eyes. His mask materialized over his face as he followed you, a comfortable fondness resting in his chest, chasing out any turmoil the day had brought him.

Good cop. Bad cop. It was stupid, childish, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was a dumb little something that he needed.

#miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv reader insert #atsv imagine #atsv imagines #miguel o'hara x male reader #male reader insert #i had a lot of fun writing and editing this!!!!#everyone always talks abt miguel being fucked up but hey let's let the reader be fucked up ayo old men being sadge together

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