#remorseful recollections of the forgotten family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbobpul · 7 months

Text

memories in the old reels

NOTE. first jun au and fourth email i can't send! reblog and like and follow @medyowriter 🫶🏼

PAIRING. junhui x you

GENRE. hurt/comfort

WARNINGS. none

list of emails i can't send

masterlist

from. [email protected]

to. [email protected]

subject. emails i can't send 4/13

hello, jun from my hometown!

in the wake of the relentless chaos that engulfed my existence, an ache for quiet led me back to the very place where my roots lay, where i once reveled in the innocence of youth. it was a place where the names of friends i once cherished have dissolved into the mist of forgotten time, leaving behind only the haunting resonance of their joyful laughter, forever etched in the recesses of my mind.

returning to my hometown, i couldn't help but confront the stark reality of how much i've changed. i couldn't help but notice these shifts in my own self, like the way i dress, a transformation unveiled when i beheld childhood photographs clinging to the refrigerator, held in place by an oddly poignant magnet bearing the words "she was here." a really weird magnet if you ask me but my mother tends to succumb to nostalgia often.

similarly, the way i speak has also changed, a shift brought to light when my father urged me to rewatch video tapes captured when i was about six years old, a fragment of my current age.

and within those old reels, i saw you, jun, a childhood friend whose full name i can no longer remember. in those videos, you were always affectionately "junie"

it's been almost a decade since i embarked on my journey to a bustling city for college, and during those intervening years, i am consumed by a profound remorse for the negligence that led me to forget you. it took the resurrection of these video clips to rekindle the significance you once held in my youthful heart.

indeed, nostalgia is cruel. here i am, beset by the remorse of my fading personal history, drained of my past.

my father, in his wisdom, shared your current story—a life blessed with a joyous family, two years into a happy marriage with twin children completing the happy home you built.

meanwhile, i find myself writing this email. perhaps this one may be a bit longer than usual. maybe because i am using you to address my regrets for the mistakes i made in the past and to convince myself that it all happened for a reason. change happened for a reason.

when i was younger, i envisioned city life as a gateway to a brighter, faster existence. i reveled in its loud and frenetic pace. yet now, as i look back, it feels as though my hometown just passed me by while my own life moves in slow motion, suspended in the stillness of time.

our shared memories, akin to the scars on my knee earned during our roadside escapades, have gently faded. my father, ever the sage, urged me to regard those wounds as tokens of the delight we found in each other's company.

you, jun, are like the vanishing tan lines on my shoulder that fade when winter comes.

you are the ephemeral reverie in my thoughts, a recollection that blurs the boundaries between reality and dreams.

my most vivid memory of you came from the lens of a vintage camera, as my father chased us through golden-hued afternoons, right after the school bell's chime.

a part of me yearns for a more vivid recollection, but for now, i am good with this.

good in the knowledge that your memory has returned to me, and that i am reminded of the joyful moments we shared.

you, jun, were my embodiment of childhood, the quintessence of my youth. while the fine details may have faded, and perhaps you are no more than a fleeting thought in your own mind, we provided each other with a childhood lived to the fullest.

yours in nostalgia,

your past

TAGLIST. @matchahyuck @minhui896 @hongmingoo @strawberryshortcakes-blog @lleercy @wonwooz1 @mhlsymlysn

i will be tagging everyone who like or comment on these posts

#seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #junhui x reader #junhui x you #junhui angst #bbobpul #Spotify #moon junhui #wen junhui

33 notes · View notes

crookedbasementsandwich · 15 days

Text

rewatching every episode of the steve saga may take forever but

at least i now get to see my boy (he has very little canon personality but i love @illusion-reality-steve's version of him) (go read remorseful recollections of the forgotten family if you like tss, it's a very good fic!)

#steve saga #memory steve #favremysabre #basementposts

16 notes · View notes

baronessblixen · 6 months

Note

I FIGURED IT OUT.

Okay, so, I gave Bill the benefit of the doubt in my Apologia analysis because, y'know, what do I know? Buuuut I remembered a little detail that made everything entirely unpalatable:

Maggie, I had assumed, was suffering in silence all those months to respect her daughter's wishes. I'd forgotten that she was a gossip, and that she'd spilled the beans about her daughter's infertility the DAY after Scully told her and kept pressing her about the baby's sex in S8 (which makes sense why Scully was deterred from finding out the gender/told no one, because if she can't-- or won't-- tell her mother, then why tell the world?)

How does this relate to Bill? Opening of Gethsemane he mentions he JUST got off his boat and sped (over to see Scully) to make it in time for the party... and ALSO made a point to question (read: mildly interrogate) if his sister had gotten her birthday card a few months ago; and Scully notes how odd that was for him to do... MEANING Maggie told him months ago; and the only reason why Bill hadn't confronted his sister about her cancer, yet, was because he was on a boat and unable to get in touch.

I will, however, give him the benefit of the doubt after Emily because he was (to my recollection) truly remorseful in the church. He also didn't have significant screentime after that, so I'll never know if he took his big foot off the pedal and decided a hands-off approach was the best policy. Again, not that type of series.

But in general: Maggie gossiped, Bill swooped in to assess what was going on, spilled the beans when Scully didn't confide in him (which, tbf, that's gotta hurt-- being left out of his sister's terminal diagnosis and only swooping in in time to see her die incidentally because Maggie gave him the heads up-- for both of them-- thinking her mom kept it private because she doesn't want to think about the deadline only to find out Maggie told Bill and her priest months ago), and ratted their mother out. Twice.

Sooooooooooooooooooo, I wanted to drop in and thank you for your thoughts from yesterday(?)-- got me to think and pull up some rusty quotes. (Now I'm REALLY excited to dig into this messy dynamic when I get around to finishing her family series. Some day. XDDD) Hats off to our discussion~. :DDDD

They really do have a messy dynamic, don't they? I love that cause it feels real. Yes, their mother is a gossip, and Bill tries to be the head of the family, and Scully is too private for her own good - and we never even met Charlie!

I know that wasn't part of your analysis yesterday, but I really hate that Maggie told Bill about his sister's infertility. That's really her thing and something she should have disclosed herself. But I suppose that's how it is with many parents. Still, I hate it. It feels like stripping Scully of her agency.

I always love your meta posts and I love discussing these things too. So thank you for your hard work!!

#lovely asks #the scullys are messy and i LOVE it #thank you for your posts #i so enjoy reading them

7 notes · View notes

yourfriendmelanie · 1 month

Text

i am scared to share anything, even to my therapist. i never share to anyone. i think i don't want to say things out loud because if i don't say it out loud then maybe it didn't happen, or it didn't exist. that's not true. ever since i could remember i hated my life. maybe in 2010? 2011? 2012? 2006 when my parents split? who knows. this really bad thing happened to me in 2012 i think. i do remember 12/12/12 at 12:12pm. my fifth grade teacher took a picture of our class at that exact time! i remember i hated going to school after this happened... i think. or i just didn't want to. my mother wasn't around a lot, it was usually just me and my brother, at least to my recollection. therefore, i could skip school. keep in mind i am 12. i was born in September of 2000. i was raised by so many people. i have a "broken" family. my friend that was on my volleyball team told me in seventh grade that i have a broken family. I've never forgotten that. i never thought of my family like that. i knew it was somewhat fucked up, but i knew a lot of my friends in Seattle had similar family situations. i moved to a more rural or town like, it has 10,00 people, and most families seemed picture perfect. anyway, i knew my family was fucked up but i didn't know it was thaaaat fucked. i feel like i was cursed from the beginning. i was raised by my mom and dad from ages 0-5 or 6, then just my mom from 6-12 or 13, and then living with, not raised, by my aunt, dad, and uncle. it is all fucked up. i feel like living with them has been like living a lie, but let's not talk about that right now. i have no "full" siblings. i have three half siblings. i had a full brother but he was a stillborn. i wish i could have a sibling to grow up with but i didn't. i was alone a lot. my brother was five years older than me and he was in and out of the hospital a lot and received more attention to me, obviously because of his health. it just made me sad. and made me feel unwanted. but my relationship with my mom and dad have been good. i was very mad at my mom in middle school, i was angry that she neglected me for so long and i felt like she had no remorse for that. i know it was because of mental health and i forgave her. my dad suffered from alcoholism ever since i could remember, but now as of 2024 he is six year sober. he still pisses me off but i forgive him for literally being such an absent dad, but now he is great and i love him.

i have love. I've been loved. i am loved. i give love. i do have love. haha that sounds like an affirmation, but i do believe that i have had many boyfriends and we've been in love. I've been in love, but i don't know what love is actually. i know i love dogs, and i know i love my boyfriend and i love my friends. but i do not know what a healthy relationship looks like, romantically, at all. i have never seen a healthy romantic relationship ever. my dad and my mom we're very abusive towards each other. my aunt and uncle are weird and i do not think they love each other, but have been married for over 40 years, so what do i know. i thought my boyfriend's parents had a good healthy relationship. then i found out that his dad left his mom, not while they were married, for a couple months. then he went back and they are so beautiful and funny towards each other. i still do think they have a great relationship. i am scared that i am being pulled towards men that are unhealthy, like my mother and father's relationship. i usually feel unloved and i know that that is incorrect. i am doing DBT and it has been good. i have learned so much, and have so many more coping skills. i think it has been helping my communication skills and my relationships, romantic and other. like, a lot.

i wanted to make this post on tumblr because i have always loved tumblr. when i was depressed in 2012 and 2013, tumblr helped me express myself with pictures and poetry, and i want to start sharing... whatever i want. i feel like this is a diary entry, but i promise not all of my posts will be like this.

xoxo,

mel

#sad thoughts #sadgirl #therapy #trauma coping #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #dbt

2 notes · View notes

surreallystressed · 1 year

Text

Welcome!

I mainly lurk here.

I make Steve fan-content on my sideblog illusion-reality-steve! That’s where I talk about the current fanfic I’m writing: Remorseful Recollections of the Forgotten Family.

Here are some other places where I post the fics I write and the art I make:

Wattpad

Fanfiction.net

Thank you for stopping by!

(blog theme by raiidens)

#pinned post #about

0 notes

incorrectstevesagaquotes · 3 years

Text

Sabre: What’s wrong with you?!

Memory Steve: Everything. Except for the way I dress, obviously.

#(villains always have the better costumes)#(I may have wrote this incorrect quote thinking about Memory Steve from my Steve Saga fanfic)#(if you're curious; it's called 'Remorseful Recollections of the Forgotten Family' and it's rated M and has lots of platonic hurt/comfort)#steve saga #memory steve #incorrect quotes #incorrect steve saga quotes #source: internet

32 notes · View notes

otter-pop-supreme · 4 months

Text

Dapper Boi with and without glasses (=

I have never made fan art so quickly for a hyperfixation-

Only did base colors, might add highlights/shadows later hehe

#rrff #rrff!memory #remorseful recollections of the forgotten family #digital art #character art #artist on tumblr #fanart #art #steve saga

11 notes · View notes

illusion-reality-steve · 8 months

Text

Update/POLL: Writing style change in RRFF

I want to make a tweak in RRFF's writing style, which will take effect in Act 3 (which will hopefully come this winter).

The proposed tweak: I want to remove the thunder sounds from RRFF's prose.

Thunder is an important part of the Steve Saga. It's used whenever some serious action happens, practically used in every single episode. As a result, I incorporate thunder in nearly every chapter of RRFF.

However, now over 40 chapters into RRFF, I think the thunder has become an annoying detail to add in every chapter. There's only so many ways to write "thunder makes a loud noise," and I feel like each new description of thunder is more hackneyed and distracting than the last.

I think at this point, it's better to just drop the thunder descriptions instead of worrying about how to make it fresh again in every new chapter.

I’m essentially addressing this thunder problem the same way I would address an “overuse of ‘said’” problem. It's detrimental if you use the word “said” in your works over and over again, because that gets tiring. However, the best solution isn’t to replace “said” with synonyms. Although it reduces the repeats, most alternative dialogue tags distract from the main focus. Usually, the best solution is to just remove “said” entirely for a smoother, less redundant experience.

So the proposed style change is to just stop describing thunder, even when thunder should happen in the story.

Examples of the style change:

"Thunder. Memory turned to the sound and saw that Time had arrived." -> "Memory heard someone teleporting nearby. He turned and saw that it was Time." "Thunder roared as Galaxy unleashed all his power." -> "Galaxy unleashed all his power."

To clarify: although the prose will stop mentioning the thunder, the thunder will still exist in the story.

It's like how I dropped the "Steve" after chapter 9 of RRFF. It doesn't mean that the term "Steve" stopped existing in the AU. It still exists, but there's a silent agreement between me and the readers that goes like, "yeah, let's drop the 'Steve' part to make the writing smoother. We all know the 'Steve' part is silent and we can understand the rest of the story without it."

I want the removal of thunder descriptions to have a similar effect. The thunder still exists in-universe, but we don't need to be reminded of it in every chapter. Therefore, we're no longer mentioning it so we can have less redundant descriptions in writing.

I hope this makes sense!

I'm not fully sure if I'll do this style change. I'll have to see how I feel when I edit the drafts. When I was considering dropping the "Steve" in RRFF, I opened myself to feedback before I made my decision. So I'm going to do that again here!

#polls #help me with critiques please #rrff #rrff steve saga #remorseful recollections of the forgotten family #update #writing rant

11 notes · View notes

ramblei · 2 years

Text

Memory and Illusion because Remorseful Recollections of the Forgotten Family by Surreally Stressed on Wattpad got me loving their friendship/cousinhood(?)

Also yes, I know Stress's designs for them are different, I'm just saying that this was inspired by their fanfic and I can't help but to crave Memmy and Illu content 🖐️🙄

#favremysabre #minecraft #steve saga #art #steve saga fanart #memory steve #illusion steve #galaxy family #rrff #Remorseful Recollections of the Forgotten Family #I love them so much ugh

46 notes · View notes

theartofimagining13 · 3 years

Photo

CHAPTER 4: THE CHEATER CHEETAH DRESS.

WRITTEN BY: A.Wölf.

BASED ON: Imagine: After a big discussion with your fiancé Tom…

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: 1 DISENGAGEMENT | 2 THE TALE OF THE OFFENSE | 3 THE WEDDING GUEST

TEASER | POSTER | CHAPTER POSTER | CHAPTER TEASER

NOTES: First and foremost, I would like to thank @clockgirl94 because if she hadn’t sent me that Javier gif, this chapter wouldn’t have been born. ❤︎

I was reluctant to write spanish dialogue translations but then I remembered that spanish is my first language and maybe not everyone else’s lol.

And also, there’s a subtle POV change.

Enjoy.

Funny how some humans’ defense mechanism works only in retrospect.

You get out of a messy situation, and it is only when you look back that things are crystal clear and you ask yourself why did I not see this before?

I was sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes. After our honeymoon, Tom bought a bigger house in a quieter area of the city for us to move into. As I unpacked my clothes, I found a little summer dress that I hadn’t seen in months and I might as well have used as a noose because, as soon as I saw it, as soon as I touched it, I was out of breath and felt the biggest knot in my throat. There’s violence in the way some memories come back to us with an object or a smell; that seemingly insignificant piece of fabric unleashed in my mind a wild river of memories.

I chuckled at myself.

If I had truly wanted to forget, I would’ve burned the fucking dress but I had only managed to stash it at the bottom of a forgotten drawer, and now it was here. I got up and neatly placed it on the bed and stared at it. I suddenly felt a kiss on my left temple. Tom walked past me afterwards holding another heavy box and I saw the curious face he made once he left it on the floor and noticed the dress.

“You haven’t worn that in a long time.”

“I know…”

He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You should.” He purred in my ear before planting kisses down my neck. “You drive me crazy in it.”

My heart raced when he held me tighter and spun me around. He caught my lips with his and I felt his hands going down my back. This was triggering for me, I had to stop him without being suspicious so I gently pulled away.

“Take me out on a date when we’re done here and I just might wear it.” I lied.

Tom let out a quiet pleasure groan in advance at the mental image perhaps.

“You got yourself a deal, baby.”

He gave me a quick peck on the lips and left to carry on with the move.

I sighed. See, the thing is, Tom wasn’t the only one who that dress drove crazy, and by now, I am pretty sure we’ve established that he and his former best friend, Pedro, liked the same things. As I stared at it again, I let myself go and revisited that particular memory in the forbidden recollections book.

Tom and I were hosting a summer cookout for a few friends and family in our old garden.

It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day in June, and I was wearing the now infamous cheetah print dress with combat boots. Tom had proposed a few days prior, and I hadn’t told Pedro. The thought alone made me nervous because how was I supposed to even form that sentence?

Hello, lover. I just got engaged.

Cringe. Of course not. Which is why I chose not to wear the ring for the occasion.

It didn’t get any easier when I saw Pedro as I walked out into the backyard. He was helping Tom with the grill and the charcoal, with a beer bottle in one hand but looked up at me and stared almost longer than politically correct. And the way he did it, slowly from head to toe and with slightly parted lips which made me feel things I shouldn’t have felt; but that ship had sailed. I kept my distance mingling with others at the party and he stayed there talking to Tom for a while.

I wish I had heard that conversation.

“I asked her to marry me.” Tom said with the biggest grin. “She said yes, mate.”

Pedro tensed up and stared at Tom, he swallowed and washed down a million sour words he could’ve said with the swig of beer he took.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tom chuckled. “I was… terrified.”

“Well, who in their right mind would ever do that?” Pedro half joked.

“You say that now…” Tom said. “But you just wait. I mean, look at her. Can you blame me?”

Pedro tightened his jaw as he glanced at her one more time and spoke through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, I’ve told you a million times that you’re a lucky motherfucker.” He said causing Tom to laugh. “I gotta take a leak.” Pedro announced dryly. “Hey, you got anything stronger than this?” and immediately added, “We’re celebrating, aren’t we?”

“There’s whiskey inside.”

“I’ll get it.”

He started to walk away but stopped to look back at Tom, realizing that he had forgotten something.

“Congratulations, man.” He forced a smile.

When Pedro walked into the bathroom, he splashed his face with cold water and scowled at himself in the mirror.

I put a big pitcher of lemonade in the fridge before I went upstairs but I stopped midway when I heard the hallway bathroom door opening and closing, and instinctively looked over my shoulder only to find Pedro.

I couldn’t read his expression so I kept walking, hoping that he would follow me, and aching for a moment with just the two of us alone. I faced him when I reached mine and Tom’s bedroom door and leaned against it with my hands behind my back. He got closer and placed his right hand right next to my head, towering over me as he stared into my soul.

“You think you can just walk around in that little dress and get away with it?”

“You like it?” I teased.

He slowly looked down and up again, provokingly.

“It’s driving me crazy.” He confessed in almost a whisper.

I allowed my eyes to wander and make sure that we were completely alone before I leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was cold, empty, so unlike Pedro’s trademark passionate ones, and he was rarely in a bad mood which made it twice as scary when he actually was, but I had no idea if that was the case. I pulled away and furrowed my eyebrows with concern. He cleared his throat and sniffed loudly.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” He inquired with the most serious face and tone.

“What do you mean?”

But he just cocked his head with condescendence and, it took me a minute, but I figured out what he was talking about.

“He told you.” I sighed. “Pedro, I was going to tell you, I just-”

“When were you going to tell me?” He cut me off.

“I-I don’t know, I couldn’t find the right w-”

I ceased talking and flinched when he struck the door with the hand that had been resting next to my head.

“Fuck’s sake…” He cursed and roamed a little with his hands on his waist.

Back then, silly me thought he was jealous, hell, I even liked it a bit. But no. Pedro was worried.

“Now?” He asked with a much more collected tone. “He had to propose now?”

Looking back, this was the only moment Pedro felt a little remorse. He was worried because my engagement had just made things even more complicated. Ironically enough, our affair had only started when this happened; we had been meeting in secret for a few weeks. We could’ve stopped then while Tom hadn’t a clue, could’ve pretended that it never happened and move on. Pedro and Tom’s friendship would’ve remained intact.

Pedro was a hypocrite, we’ve also established that. Somehow, it was okay to fuck his best friend’s girlfriend but once I became his fiancée, Pedro looked like he had finally encountered a line he could not cross.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” He wondered out loud while looking over my shoulder as if he could see Tom in the backyard, through the door and walls.

Truthfully, I was very happy with my diamond ring, so, I also started pondering on my future with Pedro. The fact that our affair had just started had a pro and a con in common; Pro, We had only just begun which would make it easier to cut ties right then and there. Con, we had only just begun which would make it ten times harder to quit right then and there.

I sighed with frustration when I had that moment of honest clarity.

“I guess we could… stop?” I hesitantly asked and hated it to no end.

Pedro’s face fell and he studied me briefly but carefully.

“I mean,” I added. “People might get hurt.”

Pedro blinked several times and slowly began to nod.

“You’re right. We don’t… we don’t want that. We’ve been lucky.”

But I swallowed hard because I could easily tell that he loathed this as much as I did.

“We should just… be friends.”

Again, his brown eyes traveled up and down my body and he gulped.

“Friends.” He echoed.

My heart was racing in the middle of the staring contest we seemed to be having, and I felt as if he could hear it over the silence we shared. He inched closer.

“Is…is that what you want?” He inquired.

At that point, that was the only right thing left to do, and to sort of mend things or prevent them from getting worse. But Pedro understood my silence when I just glued my eyes to his.

“Open the door.” He ordered.

As soon as I did, he followed me inside, closing it behind him and kissed me on the lips in the most urgent way, and I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. I could feel his hands going down my back as he kissed my neck and chest, and I turned around and faced the bed because I knew what we both wanted and needed. He pressed me against his body and cupped my breasts. I could feel him getting hard and it weakened my knees. His hands went underneath my dress and he pulled down my underwear before pulling the skirt up.

The sound of Pedro unbuckling his belt in a rush reverberated in my core. I desperately needed him inside of me, I wanted and needed him to fuck me till we both came. He licked his fingers and touched me, letting out a silent and proud chuckle because I was more than ready for him. Our foreplay had started from the moment he decided to eye fuck me as soon as I showed up in the garden, and our little conversation was the sugar on the rim. He lowered his pants enough to pull out his cock and caressed my entrance with the tip, using his free hand to gently and slightly bend me over the bed.

And he tortured me like this for a few seconds that felt much longer to me, inserting just the tip, slowly going out and in again until I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore and he finally quickened the pace. I wanted more. I needed more. I needed him, all of him, and I moaned when he finally granted me my wish.

“Fuck…” He breathed out and just stayed inside of me while I adjusted to him.

Pedro grabbed me by the hips with a tight grip and started fucking me like I had been silently begging him to; Hard and fast and just making me his. His low grunts and his ragged breath were turning me on even more. One of his hands slid up my back until his fingers got lost in my hair and he grabbed a fistful as he kept pounding into me, but it moved down to my neck, prompting me to stand up straight as he wrapped his arms around my waist and one greedy hand cupped one of my breasts.

“Te gusta? (You like it?)”

I groaned. I loved it when he whispered things in Spanish in my ear, and adding the fact that we had to be as quiet as possible was driving me over the edge.

“Dime. (Tell me).”

“Yes.” I breathed out. “Pedro…”

He chuckled again, knowing what I was implying and begging for, and he nibbled my neck before whispering once more.

“Te quieres venir? (You want to cum?)” He asked even though he knew I was dying to cum. I could even hear his mischievous grin. “Vente, mi amor. (Cum, my love).”

The rhythm of his thrusts increased again and he held me tighter. My whole body tensed up, I could feel it, the tingling sensation slowly taking over until it possessed me whole, mind and soul. Pedro had to cover my mouth as I came undone in his arms, he held onto me for dear life and buried his face in the crook of my neck as he poured himself into me and let out a suffocated moan against my skin.

With relief washing over us, our heart rates began to settle, and our foreheads were covered with a thin layer of sweat.

As I freshened up and washed my face, I stared at myself in the mirror and wondered if that had been the last time for Pedro and I.

Perhaps we had said goodbye in the only way we knew how.

I entered the kitchen and poured myself a much needed glass of ice cold lemonade before I was joined by my fiancé.

“I think we should tell them.” Tom said while taking out a few more meat packages from the fridge.

“What?” I asked in a blissful yet lethargic daze.

“About our engagement.” He placed them on the counter.

He stood in front of me, waiting as if he was asking for permission and looked at my glass of lemonade which he ended up stealing to take a sip.

But when he looked down at my hand, he frowned.

“Where’s your ring?” He asked.

“Oh, I… I took it off when I washed my hands and must’ve left it in the bathroom.” I lied.

“Put it on.” He said.

It was all the same now, Pedro knew. So, I did as I was told for Tom to make the announcement in the garden. I heard the three C’s of celebration; clamoring, cheering, and clapping, but all I could see was Pedro sitting in the back, and when his brown eyes found mine, he just showed a cynical smile and raised his glass of whiskey, at me, the cheeky bastard who had just fucked the fiancée in the cheetah dress.

Or the cheater in the dress.

I was sure that Pedro was just as addicted to me as I was to him. Engagement or not, we just weren’t ready to stop. If anything, he craved me more fiercely than before, and that ring on my finger just turned him on even more.

We had only just begun.

I blinked several times as the arousing memory dissolved and I became aware of my surroundings.

I bit my lip and wondered if Pedro still thought of these encounters of ours. I asked myself if he missed me, if he thought about me, if he touched himself while doing so, if he envisioned me while fucking someone else. Or the possibility of an ugly truth where he had just moved on and I meant nothing, but then I remembered my wedding day and his drunken honesty.

Of course he fucking thought of me.

#IN HIS ARMS #Pedro Pascal #Tom Hiddleston #Fanfic #Fiction #Fanfiction

53 notes · View notes

immortalcoelacanth · 4 years

Text

Ascendance of a Bookworm Oneshot: Regret

Ascendance of a Bookworm has a criminally minuscule amount of fics written for it, and as I’ve fallen in love with the anime and manga I’ve decided to add my own contribution! Or several! Depends on how the muse goes. The light novel is taking a bit of work to get through so this oneshot, as well as any others I write, will be manga/anime focused.

Word count: 898

Summary: Regret - A feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. As he watched Main lay unconscious on the ground, with a worried Fran hovering over her, Ferdinand felt regret.

Only the sound of a quill occasionally scratching against either wood or parchment could be heard in the office belonging to the head priest. His attendants were busy completing the tasks that had been assigned to them. One cleaning up the mess that had gathered throughout the day while the other organized documents and other important things. Ferdinand was currently working on finishing up some calculations, jotting down the total on a wooden slab while noting the important bits of information on a sheet of parchment.

Unfortunately, despite his intense focus on his task, his mind soon started to wander and the typical, apathetic mask he wore began to crack. His lips twisted, turning into a frown as his brows lowered. The grip on his quill tightened as he instinctively recalled the events that had happened not too long ago.

The sight of Main, collapsed on the ground after having spent her time repenting.

His critical thinking and observations skills were something Ferdinand had worked hard to develop over the years. Taking note of the smallest of details and storing them away for later recollection was vital when navigating the political minefield that was the church. One wrong move, one misspoken word could lead to nothing but future suffering and more hassles that would have to be dealt with. In a place like this that was practically ready to explode due to the overinflated egos of the blue robed priests, such skills were mandatory for anyone.

So why, why in those moments had he forgotten about Main’s poor health?

It was a point of personal frustration for him, a sign of the lapse in his judgement and thinking skills. He was present during the negotiations, played a vital role in establishing what Main’s duties were, all with her sickly state in mind. He knew how the Devouring had affected her, stunting her growth in combination with the poor conditions she had grown up in. She was frail, fragile, and yet he had still punished her in such a way.

Main… was an intellectual, wise beyond her years and articulate, acting more like an adult than a child at times, a strange combination. She was also very headstrong and creative, but she lacked knowledge about proper etiquette. Smart, yet oh so foolish at the same time.

The oddest combination of a peasant mixed with the mannerisms and speech patterns of a noble.

Perhaps it was his personal frustrations that had clouded his judgement? For how mature and wise she acted, it was her naïve nature that constantly seemed to get her in trouble. The damage such a thing would do to her, never mind her family, he doubted she really considered the repercussions of her actions and how she portrayed herself to the other blue robed priests of the church.

Ferdinand was frustrated with her actions and lack of foresight, plain and simple, but that did not mean he disliked her or wished ill upon her. Their relationship was a complicated one, him mentoring her in the ways of the church and noble society while Main never failed to either surprise him or annoy him. It was a learning process for both of them. He valued her company and enjoyed it when she was not rambling about some topic that he could not understand.

The topic’s significance and the words she used to describe such a thing.

He let out a sigh, controlling and suppressing his emotions as his mask fell into place once more. No, it was not just the frustration that bothered him, it was the regret he felt due to his actions. Main had fallen ill because of what he had foolishly done.

His mistreatment of her, despite the reasoning he had used at the time, was wrong and he knew this. Now he had to take responsibility for his actions and make amends however, there was one problem with such a plan.

Nobles did not just apologize.

Gifts were given to express remorse and regret for the actions that had been committed and near poetic apologies were written down to communicate what the gift could not. Nobles only apologized to other nobles or those in a higher class. For a noble to apologize to someone lower in standing than them, to acknowledge a wrongdoing addressed to such a person…

He could already feel the headache forming at the thought of the chaos such an action would bring.

No, the risk was far too high if he were to say such a thing to Main in a place where anyone could hear. It would paint targets on their backs, mark him as being weak, and if the high priest found out the outcome could be catastrophic.

Main was ignorant of such things, which meant Ferdinand needed to be all the more cautious to protect himself and the strange young girl.

He had to be careful about how he went about apologizing, showcasing his intent in a way that Main would understand, even with her limited knowledge of such actions. A way that no one else would notice. Words were dangerous, but perhaps a gift might do.

A gift to provide her with the items she lacked, something that would only be perceived as a helpful gesture, and with Fran’s aid, such a plan would easily succeed with little outside intervention.

A gift to express his regret.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Ferdinand, you painfully complicated being, but I suppose the same could be said for other nobles! Not that I really know at this point, but I’m sure I will soon!

I hope you all enjoyed reading! For those of you on AO3 this will also be crossposted there, so don’t be surprised if you see it!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

#my story #fanfiction #ascendance of a bookworm #honzuki no gekokujou #ferdinand #regret is experienced #introspective

22 notes · View notes

regalentempire-a · 4 years

Note

Family { For the drabble meme :3 }

Send a word for an hc or drabble. // accepting

@dxgmygrxve

▩ ⋯ ⸨ Headcanon - Family ⸩ ⋯ ▩

He isn’t fond of his family. There were battles of who would take the crown after their father. Vladimir knew he wasn’t next in line but he oh so dearly wanted the crown. The throne. Everything. He wanted it all for himself but there was no hope to obtain it with so many sons, heirs his father had. He didn’t appear as important as his other siblings. Often overlooked as praise was given to the one that would take after his father. He hated him. Hated everyone as he felt that he should be given what he was born to have.

Not to mention that the Darkin war was literally happening during that time. It was easy for his father, the King of a forgotten kingdom, to choose the least of his favourites. Vladimir. This only angered him as he felt so very betrayed. Heartbroken even as the decision was made and no sympathy was given as he was in the clutches of the Darkin. He saw the relief in the eyes of his siblings who were grateful for their father who didn’t choose them.

Vladimir hated them so much. Family? Not his anymore.

( Also I couldn’t help but write a drabble of it. uwu )

The soft echo of footsteps was the only sound in the long hallway. Candles lit the path, swaying slowly as they danced with the gentle wind. There was no one else except the one who owned the manor. There was no need for him to be so very silent in his already quiet home, but he found solace in it nonetheless. Even walking storms like himself needed peace and solitude.

The soft creak of the large double door being opened revealing an office filled books collected over the years. Some untouched due to it being on the verge of collapsing. Others waiting to be read as it was written in different now deceased languages. The light from the moon drifted through the curtains, giving light to the room along with few lit candelabrums.

The noble sat down behind his desk, on his favourite chair, crossing his legs with a sigh. Papers stacked neatly along with books that he would soon read. To study its contents as well as write in his journal of memories to keep in his library.

Instead, the noble merely stared in front of him. His gaze drifting toward the flickering flame at the corner of the room, catching his attention. His mind now drifting through time. To memories where he lived his glory, where people kneeled before him as fear blanketed them. The only few memories he was able to recollect as his mind was still that of a mortal. Writing down in books of events that happened and throughout Runeterra.

But one memory was always clear as day in the noble’s mind. One that always grated at his skin and able to lit the fiery rage within him.

It was the time where he was a prince to a forgotten kingdom. During the time of war among the gods, and mortals were merely there in the crossfire. Being toys for them and killed when one of them craved to see the beauty of the death of fragile creatures. Vladimir detested them so much as he was thrown in the clutches of one. Becoming a dog on a leash to ensure his father’s loyalty to the god warrior.

It was obvious that his father cared little for him. There were so many sons he had, heirs, that he could give up. But it was he who was given up. He was better than them, all of them! And yet he was still not chosen to take the crown and have the kingdom. Of course, it was all in ruins after he had killed everyone. Killing his siblings and his father with no remorse after he had suffered in the hands of the god warrior.

They begged for him to let them go. He watched them grovel at his feet, kissing it even as tears ran down their cheeks. His father cried more than they did, asking for forgiveness and that he shouldn’t have broken the allegiance with the god. His tear-stained face only angered him before he beheaded him with his sword in one swift move. How dare they cry…..How dare they cry in front of him.

Family….

Such a word is laughable and pathetic. There was no family for him.

No one.

He felt his fist clench tightly, knuckle became white before he slammed his fists on his desk. The top slightly bent from the hit before it was lifted and thrown across the room. Books and papers scattered everywhere. A dent in the wall now where the desk collided against. His hair fell over his face, eyes glowing red. Grabbing his chair he flung it out the window, the glass shattering and falling to the ground.

“Oh. Someone’s mad.”

Kye’s voice spoke everyone’s mind as they approached the manor. Their appointment with their Master was soon but it may end up being postponed at this moment. The four students nodded after they looked at each other. Maybe seeing one would be the brave soul to speak to Vladimir while he was still in rage.

“Hello, darlings.”

The students looked up, sweat falling down the side of their faces. They were casual around the noble but never when he was like this. It was scary, if someone were to say something or be in his way, Vladimir didn’t hesitate to kill them.

“Hello, Lord Vladimir.” Clara’s voice sweet like honey with an edge of nervousness. “Did we come at a wrong time?”

“Lessons will be tomorrow, my darlings.” Vladimir brushed his silver locks out of his face, hands clasped behind his back. “And find someone to fix this mess for me. You know how I am with messes.”

“We shall be swift, my Lord.”

Edvin bowed and ushered the others to go swiftly. Leading them out of the little hidden area that only a few knew about. The noble watched them with eyes still filled with hatred. The red glow now fading with each second before he moved back into the manor. Disappearing into the shadows.

#⟬ HC. ⟭ ⤞ I never keep my guests waiting.#⟬ DRABBLE ⟭ ⤞ Who would dance with me?#yeees an excuse to write his past and his rage. ldskjfdlskjfsdf #i got carried away of course....so there's an hc and drabble #dxgmygrxve

10 notes · View notes

haurchefantblog · 4 years

Text

Shadi'ra Amariyo

1. Shadi's anger is mostly proportionate to the situation. He doesn't like seeing people mistreated though and is sensitive to certain circumstances that make him react w more hostility.

2. Maybe not believe. He hopes? He really hopes there is someone out there for him whether it is a soulmate or not. Someone to ease his loneliness. He thinks it's a nice idea.

3. Bullies. He hates seeing the strong pick on those weaker than they are.

4. His happy place is a memory he made up as a child of his "real family" happy together in a modest home with a strong hearth". It was a thought that soothed him to sleep when he was little and at the "orphanage".

5. Maybe with Moss in LA Noscea. Her family unofficially adopting him. Future will be when Kokho finds him and brings him to his real family. Also when he saved Eorzea and finally felt like he did something right. Like his life mattered after all.

6. He was okay in the South Shroud with his caretaker but he wasn't happy because he didn't feel a sense of belonging. He ran away when he was about 14 and btwn then and meeting Moss when he was 16 were some really awful and rough years for him.

7. Shadi doesn't have money lol. He is generous with his friends but isn't looking to buy anyone's favor. He doesn't like others buying for him. He's been taken advantage of while drunk before so he doesn't trust ppl plying him with alcohol.

8. Before he was a rogue he was a scrapper and lost most fights so he has had fingers/hand broken, arm, and his nose.

9. Sometimes he wants to forget he had a family. It's painful to dwell on. The years in Limsa before he was under Moss' family's protection are also repressed often. I haven't gotten far enough in his story but there are definitely moments post arr that Will wreck his soul.

10. He remembers being about 4. His mother was still alive. He remembers crying and being held against her, and the warmth it brought him. He has not felt it since.

11. Quick to laugh, kind. Someone who doesn't make him feel less than. He's not got very high standards bc he's not been treated very well.

12. His first set of daggers given to him by Jacke when he joined the rogue's guild. Being allowed to join the guild meant the world to him and the daggers remind him of how far he's come but also that feeling of family and acceptance the guild provided for him.

13. His forehead tattoo. He thought it was a skin mark but it's ink and he has no recollection of getting it. He has on several occasion been very close to getting inappropriate tattoos in even more inappropriate locations. Moss' mom/Moss saved him every time.

14. Ear piercings. Tongue piercing. He loves piercings. He wants more.

15. A small humble home with a warm fire and a family that loves him. Preferably on the coast, but close, to a city.

16. He's a good cook. He picks up recipes really easily. He has very good instincts when it comes to timing and spices/portions.

17. Shadi is insecure about giving gifts, bc he never had much to give. He's definitely the type to poorly wrap up some money and call it a day.

18. He's actually really good at stealing and he knows he shouldn't be proud of it but he's so damn dextrous and nimble.

19. "he's weird and kind of annoying crybaby that talks too much"

20. "He's more intuitive than I would have guessed. Too intuitive. He's sharp." "He's a sweet boy with a sensitive heart. Cries a bit too much though" "He's got the makings of a true hero if he can stop holding himself back."

21. You name them he's got them. He's worried he's going to annoy or anger anyone that gets close to him so he kinda unwittingly keeps most at arms length despite desperately wanting connection. He's really worried he is going to end up failing as the WoL and become shunned again. He hates his thing eyebrows and that's why he started having moss draw them in for him.

22. Highest skill stat is probably speed. He had a lot of practice running out of harms way and the rogue’s guild honed that skill. His highest non physical stat is perception. To be honest even he doesn’t realize this but he has good instincts. Also a little bit of luck. His charm is hit or miss tbh.

23. Depends on the lie. He could brush off smaller lies or white lies, but huge lies, even if they were for his “Safety/protection” it’s like..how could you sit there and look at him and do that to him? It’s more of a matter of character and if he trusts you and you lie, you broke that trust.

24. Cold. He enjoys the cold. Rain or snow he’s not hugely fond of but he can deal with it. Heat kills him. The second he breaks out into a sweat he’s crying. Another reason he hates Forgotten Springs.

25. He is bursting to say it but never has, that he can remember. He loves Moss/Moss’s mom. But he never really said the words. He tried to show it with actions. He’s definitely in the “actions speak louder than words” dept wrt that but he’d love to be able to say it. And he will one day ;)

26. He whines and cries all the time about random stuff but he doesn’t really confide in anyone. He confided in Moss but she never really understood the depth of it, which is probably why he did it. She felt safe to tell things to. He’s too insecure to bare himself to other people like that.

27. Yes. He often doesn’t feel remorse when he’s witness “bad guys” die. When he’s killed in defense or for his work with the Scions. He will be devastated when Nanamo “Dies”. And Haurchefant, and Wilred, and all the people who die who touch him in some way and leave him alone again to deal with the pain of loss.

28. Yeah under his arms and his ribs he’s super ticklish.

29. He’s got an average pain tolerance. But he’ll start whining at the slightest pain anyway.

30. He wishes he could really tell Kan-E Senna what he thinks of her “leadership” and the horrors that his kind has to face in the Shroud on a daily basis because she’s too up her own ass to deal with the ramifications of racism and prejudice in Gridanian society and too “pacifist” do to anything about it anyway.

31. This boy can act right in polite society but he will need reminding. He’s gonna try and practically absorb his food. He’s a big chomper.

32. He created this version of his abandonment as a child that his parents willfully abandoned him and left him alone and that’s how he came into the care of Amariyo and her half-baked orphanage. Other than that, he’s confessed a few times and most of them weren’t kind in their rebuffs. Jacke’s rejection was kind but it hurt the most.

33. It’s not happened yet, but it involves G’raha Tia. :> Also probably Haurchefant taking him into his home after the events of the Feast.

34. Touch would really suck for him. He’s a tactile person but honestly hearing would probably be really bad for his profession if he lost it.

35. No he’s awkward and starts asking questions that are way too personal too soon.

36. He would ask Urianger if he really talks like that or if he uses language as a barrier to separate him from others.

37. He would definitely like to travel to the past to see how he got separated from his parents.

38. Moss and Jacke. Jacke saw his potential and helped him hone his skills which led him to becoming a Scion and helping take down the Imperials and defend Eorzea. Moss helped him be less lonely at a time when he was utterly alone and had no one. They both defined family for him. Later on, G’raha too will be family to him. The Exarch would probably be the answer later on bc of his influence in the past and then his fucking up his chance to finally beat Zenos.

39. Shadi never wants to be alone again. No one to depend on and no one to share your life with? He can’t handle it.

40. Asahi scares the shit out of him. He’s so fucking delusional and twisted he can’t comprehend that level of unhinged. Zenos scares him because the concept of killing is like a fun thing to him and there is something wrong with someone who thinks like that. It’s unnerving. He’s also scared of Raubahn bc he doesn’t want to ever be embarrassed in front of him. Raubahn is his hero. He’s also scared of Yda. She’s too dumb to be a Scion he thinks she must have used some evil spell to put on the Scions he doesn’t understand. She’s clearly a witch or something he steers clear of her.

#ffxiv #shadi'ra amariyo

1 note · View note