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iceunhie · 9 months

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voicelines about you: as their lover !

featuring: imbibitor lunae, jing yuan, gepard. (+ jingliu and kafka)

notes: headcanons! some might be ooc HELP. i couldn't resist writing for hsr man… also jingliu and kafka sneak bc mmm i love morally questionable women 🤩. gn!reader. reader is not trailblazer. some fluff, some angst (?) kinda. reblogs are very much appreciated!

Imbibitor Lunae (Danheng IL)

About [Name]: They're one of the few people who's never condemned me for Danfeng's sins, nor ever tried to get me to own up to them. Their presence is very comforting to me. My lover? *coughs* Y-yes, they are.

About [Name]: Selfies Aside from March, [Name] always seems to ask me to take photos with their camera. Hm? No, I don't really mind. If it makes them feel happy, then that's enough reason for me to agree.

About [Name]: Photo Albums [Name] made an Express photo album with March yesterday. Yeah, pictures of our adventures and memories, according to them. It's in the Data Bank, so just ask me if you want to take a look at it.

Gepard Landau

About [Name]: [Name] is the most amazing individual I've met. Their determination and their will to pursue their goals to the fullest… I'm proud to call them my lover. Oh, ah… Was that too forward?

About [Name]: Lending a Hand Oftentimes, Serval asks [Name] to help her carry some things for her workshop. Although the times I get to personally help out are rare due to my duties, I still make it a point to support them by asking the Silvermane Guards to keep an eye out for them and help carry my sister's things for them if it's too heavy. Of course. They're always my top priority.

About Serval: Nagging Every time Serval stops by my post, it usually means [Name]'s run into some difficulties, which I try to help them out in. While her telling me about my lover's state is greatly appreciated, she always nags and teases me being a fool for them and… *sigh* No, it's alright, really. I'm thankful that my sister cares about [Name] and goes out of her way to talk to them for me. Still, I do hope her nagging would decrease next time.

Jing Yuan

About [Name]: Hm? [Name]? Yes, they're indeed my lover. Hehe, now that you've brought them up, I should go look for them. I'm afraid I've grown so used to the feeling of laying my head on their lap that no other pillow can suffice. Ah, what a predicament…

About [Name]: Spending Time Together While I do enjoy dozing off, [Name] makes a point to let me rest at a more appropriate place, instead of at the Seat of The Divine Foresight, buried under a mountain of paperwork. Oftentimes, I do as they say, but when I'm not and just craving their presence… Heh, now that's another matter entirely.

(BONUS! - Yanqing's Voiceline) About [Name]: Oh, [Name]? They always give me some extra allowance for buying swords, buying me sweets and food I like… Of course I won't say no to that! Sometimes, them being with me when I'm being scolded by the General for my expenses helps a lot. Probably because they're the only one the General can't say no to.

Jingliu

About [Name]: ….Do you really think you have the right to know about them? This is a warning. Try to ask again and perhaps you'll be faced with the end of my blade as my answer.

About [Name]: Soothed The whispers of the marastruck, succumbing to the Abundance… They are the only one able to calm the storm of my thoughts. For that, I am grateful for their patience and their kindness.

(BONUS 2! - Jing Yuan's Voiceline) About Name: While Master's current state is one of irreparable damage, at the very least… She has someone to hold onto while she grapples with the curse of mara. Even if I don't quite believe she's the Jingliu I knew from before, I know that her feelings for [Name] are sincere. I just hope she doesn't end up hurting them in the process.

Kafka

About [Name]: Aha, now thats a question I didn't expect to hear from you. My lover? Yes, [Name] is that to me. I very much enjoy their love and affection, you know. Even if it isn't on the script, I'd still mention them. Quite romantic of me, no?

About [Name]: Trophy They always, always chide me about me ruining my velvet coats when we finish up a script. What's wrong with a little blood? I keep most of them as trophies. There's one I'm especially fond of, too. They think it's rather embarassing that I keep the coat from the time they got injured on the job. Although the stains have long since turnt black, there's still a faint scent of iron in it. Hm? What do I mean by that? Heh, let's just say I don't take any harm coming to [Name] lightly. While they call it a reminder of their lack of caution, I'd rather call it a little show of my affection~

About [Name]: Destiny's Course Elio refused to tell me about what my future with them would be, saying that the path in that choice is quite difficult to discern, and I think it's for the best. I suppose if [Name] decided to leave the Stellaron Hunters, hm, would locking them up till they can't leave me anymore suffice….? Haha, just kidding. I wouldn't let them leave in the first place.

#dan heng #hsr x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #dan heng x reader #gepard landau #gepard x you #hsr gepard #gepard x reader #gepard x gender neutral reader #hsr kafka #kafka honkai star rail #kafka x reader #jingliu x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan hsr #jing yuan x reader #imbibitor lunae #mhie's spirals

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wwinterwitch · 2 years

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Hey it's me again:/, for your 1k celebrate i wondered if you can write angst no 7 but the reader who said “you deserve better than me” bcs the reader was Workaholic and have bad temper . Tq:)

hi lovely, thanks for yet another awesome request! Hope you like it<3

prompt used: "you deserve better than me." pairing: steven grant x gn!reader (no pronouns used) word count: 1,157 warnings/what to expect: angst, fighting, slight fluff

a reblog and/or comment on my posts really help me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

main masterlist | marvel masterlist

Steven had a late night shift at the museum that day. He was late that morning, meaning he was in charge of inventory. He took his time to get back home, grabbing dinner for the two of you on his way back. He tried calling you to let you know about it but just like always you just wouldn't pick up, so a text should suffice to let you know he's on his way home.

Not like he thinks you'd already eaten without him, knowing that's very unlikely given he's the one who has to force you out of your office so you can take a few minutes off work to eat. He knew you too well to know the only way of getting you away from your computer it's his insistence that what you're doing is not healthy at all.

People have work schedules for a reason. To have part of their day dedicated to their job, the rest to their own lives. Some jobs take more time than they should, whether because it's a very demanding profession or you just have a shitty boss.

But you in particular are something else, because you make your job demanding. You overwork yourself, set expectations too high and accept taking care of just too many things at once. No one can work that much, and Steven often worries about your well-being because it's impossible to ignore what that's been doing to your health.

When he got to your shared apartment you were of course still working, light visible from underneath the closed door of your office. He didn't want to disturb you, so he set everything ready for dinner before calling you to eat with him. Steve went as far as lighting up a few candles and already displaying on top of the dinning table the chocolate box he bought for you.

He knocked on the door of your office and got absolutely no response. And because he didn't want to just walk in and disturb you, he knocked on the door again. "Yes?" you asked, sounding kinda exasperated.

Steven finally opened the door, his adorable smile appearing on his face the moment he saw you. "Hi there, love! Dinner is ready."

"Sorry, I have to finish this before going to bed," you immediately reply, your eyes not once moving away from your laptop as you continue to type something.

"Do you really have to?" he asks gently, his smile fading when he notices you finally turned to look at him.

"Yes, Steven. I have to," was your answer.

"Okay, but it'll only be a few minutes. I'm sure that won't-"

"I really need to finish this," you insisted, cutting him off.

Steven hates being confrontational. He hates fighting, especially with you, but he can't stand there and watch how you refuse to take care of yourself because you have to work. It's not the first time you've skipped a meal, nor the only unhealthy habit you have. He knows you'll get angry at him for pointing it out, but he really doesn't care at this point. Not when he sees how badly your work routine is affecting you.

And because he worries so much, he stood by the entrance of your office and tried to convince you again. "Love, I don't think this is healthy for you..."

"Please, Steven!" you said, this time in a much louder and harsher tone. "It's just dinner. Why are you making such a big deal out of it? I'm clearly busy here and you keep distracting me! Please, just leave me alone."

There was a prolonged silence, Steven staring at you while you tried to act like you were still focused on your screen, the words you just blurted out replaying over and over in your head, each time sounding worse than the time before.

He closed the door and left you alone in your office, and despite you trying to focus back on what you were doing, you couldn't stop thinking about what you just said to him and how unnecessarily mean you were to him just now.

By the time you got out of your office, Steven was putting all the food away inside the fridge, candles still lit up around him and his present for you still on top of the table. The fact that he had all of this ready for you, taking time on little details like that, made you feel even more terrible for yelling at him like that.

"I'm sorry," it was you breaking the silence.

Steven finished what he was doing, closing the fridge, all his attention on you now. "It's fine," he shrugged.

"No, it's not," you insisted, walking further inside the kitchen to stand right next to the dining table. "I'm screaming at you when all you're doing is trying to take care of me. It's not fair. I feel terrible," you added. Steven didn't say anything. "I know I should stop, it's just...I don't know when. And I'm so stressed all the time, I always lash out at you when you're not the one to blame. I really am sorry, Steven...god, you shouldn't have to deal with any of this. You deserve better than me."

He quickly walked up to you, grabbing both of your hands in a comforting manner. "Hey, it's fine. Really. I appreciate your apology and I'm glad you're aware that what you're doing is not healthy. I...well, can't deny I don't like the way you react every time I try to help you, but acknowledging the problem is progress, right?"

Oh, Steven. You really don't deserve someone as great as him. Only he would try to see the good side of this situation, despite having to put up with you and your temper almost every day. Any other person would've had enough of you by now, yet Steven is still willing to be optimistic about this and try to make things work.

"Right," you nodded.

He smiles, leaning closer to kiss your forehead. "How about we talk about this tomorrow so the two of us can calm down?"

"That'd be great."

"Alright," he replied, finally letting go of your hands. "Oh, bought you there today...figured I just give them to you now," he added shortly after, realizing about the chocolate box still sitting on top of the table. "I'm going to bed, but everything is in the fridge if you're hungry."

"Thank you."

"Goodnight, love," he says before exiting the kitchen. You didn't ask him to stay or sit down to have dinner together because you're in no position to ask him that after rejecting him so coldly.

Still holding onto his gift, you walked back to your office to finish just one last task for the day before going to sleep, not wanting to stay up so late because you know that would wake Steven up and the last thing you want right now is giving him more reasons to be (rightfully) upset with you.

Hopefully tomorrow the two of you can talk this over and find a solution together.

#steven grant x gn!reader #steven grant x reader #moon knight x reader #moon knight fic #steven grant fic #mcu x reader #steven grant

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berryunho · 1 year

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HI BESTIE it's san anon and IT'S BEEN A WHILE

i hope you're still enjoying your time in sk hehehe i see your posts sometimes and am like *nods* having a good time, nice

it's been a busy couple of weeks sjdghsfj HONESTLY i don't think that ppt will ever like. get there. IM SORRY DSJHGFJ i loved the idea of it but i don't think i can find the time to make you the amazing ppt you deserve SIGH i do however have reasons written down for why you SHOULDN'T k word san so bet you'll be hearing from me shortly

ANYWAY that was all i just wanted to pop by and ask how you're doing <3 i hope life is going well for you !!!!!!! love u mwah

(also this is me trying to fix my english bc you > u istg i've evolved)

WAUT SAN ANON AGAIN I JUST SAW THAT ASK ABT NOT TRUSTING SAN'S MANIPULATIVE ASS i love him i'm so sorry it's so bad but i LOVE cult freak san the same way i love hongjoongism (yes i'll keep using this name) and hongjoong's wicked little brain i love it all idk i'm just. waiting for the day you don't k word san off but instead turn him into this crazy wicked insane evil cult freak instead of the cute cult freak we've seen up until now KJHDSGFKJHSD kq please give us a dark concept. i need an actual culteez concept. don't just break that wall murder it san anon again because what the FUCK i missed so many san reblogs HELP???? it makes sense now bc apparently i had the for you page open instead of the following page wtf tumblr

HSKDJFASDLFJS HIIIIII

dont worry about being busy and PLSDJFASLKDF THE PPT LOL ITS OKY I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ONE E VERJKLJASFLKD PSKLJFSKLDF .... i also love cult freak san and evil hongjoong LKSJDFLASKDJF last night i was writing .... a scene that will happen in ... the next few chapters probably and i was (s)creamin-- I MEAN i was having a very good time writing it even though its like the most diabolical angst to ever come from my hands i was giggling biting my lip SO ANYWAYS thats gonna be so fun to release into the world but it has to simmer for a bit still ... not to confirm nor deny any san allegations of course mwuahaha AND ANYWAYS YES I AGREE bring back mvs where kpop boys would kill people ... or like graphic vampire concepts ... PLEASE I NEED IT SO BAD FJASLDJFSJ AND ???? NOT THE FOR YOU PAGE omg i do the same thing though like it switches and i dont realize and im like "where tf is sanchelinz rn" SKJFKALSDFJ

but anyways to answer your question ... im very good still ehehe my classes are all going well i even went up korean levels LAKJDFLASD and changing topics im not really a makeup person but i walked into olive young 2 days ago and blacked out and now i own a bunch of makeup and im trying to learn how to use it and i actually ... feel so cute KASDJLFSADJ like i have some on rn and its all pink and glittery and i did my eyelashes the wonyoung way and I FEEL SO CONFIDENT ACTUALLY its crazy like i think im pretty wo makeup lol and idk i normally feel so goofy when i try to do makeup but im actually proud of what ive been able to learn in ... 3 days lol

AND ??? you probably saw lol BUT I WENT TO IDOL RADIOAFLSJDFK;ASJ that was ... so anxiety inducing LKJKLAJSDFKJS there were SO many people and our foreign asses didnt reserve seats and didnt think to bring. idk. LADDERS BC PEOPLE BRING FUCKING LADDERS (*%)($*@)#()@ and anyways idk WHAT i was doing so wrong just by standing in one spot and not moving but i was being CURRRSSEDDDD out by ktinys like i accidentally looked at one of them for too long apparently and she turned to her friend and was like "this fucking foreigner is staring crazy bitch" I WAS LIKE (*$)(*$_)(#)(@_(#_????@$?$?@?4 and another girl saw me and was like "i fucking hate when foreigners come they never know whats happening" (*409*@)@(-#(0 I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT I WAS LITERALLY LIKE ............................ simply pretended i didnt know what they were saying bc i wouldve started swinging and gotten deported if i engaged like ... HOOOOO DEEP BREATHS IM NOT MAD anyways yunho and hongjoong waved to me and i got so many good pictures and i was just happy to get to see them ehehehe all that matters is that THIS is hongjoong waving at me and my friend

and anyways i stay winning <3 life is amazing im so happy everyday <3 I HOPE YOURE GOOD AS WELL BESTIE !!! PLS LMK HOW YOU ARE AND DW ABOUT BEING BUSY AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR WEEK AND ILY <3333 MWAHHH :]]] <33 <33 <33

#answered #san anon #this is so long omg heh

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moonflms · 3 years

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➷｡˚wishes —nct/superm mark lee

requested by anon! note, use of media (twice only dw)

next request: jaehyun

PROLOGUE ༄ — mark takes you out on a friendly date to watch the total lunar eclipse by the park! but oh how we wished the date was real.

PAIRING ༄ - non-idol! mark x fem! reader

GENREs ༄ - fluff, semi-onesided love, stars, eclipse, moongazing, under the night sky, semi-socmed, ed sheeran

W. COUNT ༄ - around 1.5k+

NETWORKS༄ - @multifandomnet

TAGS ༄ - @cupfullofjeno (maddie imy :( ) @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 (if you wanna be tagged in my stories then feel free to reach out to me ! <3)

➷｡min's letter ༄ - i honestly feel like this one sucked bc i honestly didn't know how to write a cute prompt anon sent kdfhjkdf

do not repost. copyright belongs to @moonflms 2021. reblogs and likes are deeply appreciated! originally posted on my wattpad (@johnsparrot) . enjoy reading!

masterlist

"i get it that you're into astronomy and the likes but mark, it's past six." you reasoned out from the front seat as you talk to your best friend who was by the trunk arranging whatever he packed. "first, i'm not that deep into the study unlike professionals and astrophiles but you already agreed so shut up!" mark looks at you from the back as he smiles at you who was slightly annoyed.

"a pillow or moomin?" mark walked to your side, barricading you to your seat as he slightly leans towards you, a hand on the door keeping the car wide open as the other rested near the headrest. "moomin please" you pushed mark slightly away as you watched him dash into the house for the soft plushie. you chuckled at how he treats you like a kid— what he always does when you're having those rough weeks. you watched him lock the house and come back with the white plush in hand.

he gets settled in the driver's seat as he starts buckles up, royally handing the toy over to you "one moomin m'lady" he slightly bows down while handing it over, another episode of him being goofy. you played along and smiled before mark fully started the drive towards the park.

the drive was not silent as mark kept the atmosphere busy with a few of ed sheeran's songs playing through his stereo. with the songs playing mark felt vague; he felt butterflies yet he felt his chest gradually getting heavier. photograph, thinking out loud and eventually to happier. playing those songs he realized, no, he knew very well that they had something in common.

that they all reminded him of you.

his gallery and even actual photographs always had you beside him, complete attendance from his adorable childhood to his questionable high school era. thinking out loud because he sees you much more as his confidant, his best friend. all the 'i love you's he showered you with from time to time meant much more than how you saught it as. he feels at peace by seeing you smile and his heart never fails to flutter when he feels your head cozied up by his chest.

and to happier as he knows that you were least likely to become his. he hesitated to confess despite all his others friends convinced you felt the same way. he wouldn't want to go through the pain of rejection and turn the years of friendship all awkward of a sudden.

it has been going on for a great while and the only thing mark could do was to show signs without making it obvious, like how he queued the songs in that order.

you had a rough week and it only seems to get rougher. what hurt you hurt mark as well, so he always goes berserk just to make you lighten up from your burdening feelings.

you and mark always had a bucket list of stuff you both wanted to do. and mark felt it was a perfect time to cross one out; a date under the night sky.

a friendly date despite how mark wanted it to be an actual one.

mark felt lucky knowing that same night had a lunar eclipse (and surprisingly a super moon) was supposed to show and he just had to seize the opportunity. he made sure to bring binoculars, comfy blankets to rest on and of course, the requested moomin plush renjun gifted him for christmas.

the park was nearby and mark felt giddy. focused on humming and driving mark overheard a few shutters and felt the gut feeling of a camera pointing at him. "i better look hot in those" he joked as he glanced at you through the mirror. "i was taking pictures of the cherry blossom, dumbass" you chuckled as you proceeded to snap a few pictures of mark. you then moved over to your instagram to spam about the sudden trip. "one last, look" you scooted closer to mark's side to take a pic with him, just before the traffic light switched to green. both of you looking sweet, you smiled to yourself.

you were finally settling down on the blanket sprawled over the grass, the view of the waters from the distance and the moon above continuing its eclipse. mark who was sitting up, set aside the binoculars, and laid beside you. he turned to his side as he watched you. "so, a check on the bucket list?" mark smiled hoping you'd say yes.

"well, my best friend is much better than other than an invisible boyfriend." mark smiled through the stinging pain. 'yeah, best friend' he thought to himself.

"don't you get tired of being by my side?" you looked up to the sky, feeling a bit doubtful.

"and why would you think so?"

"it's more or less two decades of us constantly by each other's side. and the things you'd do just to get me out of my—"

"y/n, if you're hurt, i get hurt too. i'm always here for you, no matter how stupid and annoying you could be at times. if i went through my whole life with you by my side, why would i suddenly stray away?" mark softly patted your cheek, drying off the few tears that rolled down. you came closer to mark and hugged him, nuzzling by his chest and scent. "and you know how much i love you right?" you nodded as you continued to nest under him.

mark would've been jumping in joy. but tracing back a few words, there he reminded himself of the word 'best friend'.

mark hugged you back as he secretly logged into his instagram as well, he distracted himself by viewing a few of the stories. your story came in after a few taps and there showed a picture of him driving, captioned with a black heart. "sure, keep on hoping minhyung." he thought to himself once again.

he finally decided to create his own with the picture he secretly took of you earlier. he thought of the caption for a while until he ended up with "wished you we're mine." he posts storied like these on the daily, he just made sure to set it into the close friends setting to avoid you from seeing it. he quickly tapped the post option as he felt you move and sat up.

"look! it's red!" you pointed at the moon, smiling as you were amazed by the phenomenon. you pulled mark up from his position and continued to look at the dark sky. it indeed was beautiful. mark inserted his phone back into his pocket as he cupped your shoulder, watching you admire the heavenly bodies above.

feeling done, you glanced at mark who was still looking up. you watched your best friend enjoy his own time as you felt a small vibrate off your phone. you quickly checked the notification as it came from... mark?

" [y/nmais_vu] : @onyourm__mark posted a new story ! "

checking it, you wondered when mark was able to snap a quick photo of you, but you wondered more about the caption. you felt your heartbeats go rapid and your stomach starts to churn. "y/n?" mark called as you quickly locked your phone. "you alright?"

"yeah... nothing much, just story notifs." you smiled and sat closer to mark. he hums as he proceeds to wrap his free arm around your shoulders, continuing to watch over the distance. "did you make a wish?" you asked mark who was finally looking back at you with an unsure expression. "we're supposed to wish! go on, " you nudged mark as he spaced out for a moment, staring at a star. "starlight, star bright, the first star i see tonight!" you both burst into laughs "what are we? pre-school?" mark smiled as he continued to stay silent.

"you made me wish on a star now tell me what you asked for," mark turns facing you. you stayed silent for a while as you looked up to the ending eclipse above. "i actually had two wishes" you pulled out a few blades of grass, avoiding his eyes. "first, was for your wish to come true," you fully faced mark as you took the plush into your hands, fiddling with it.

"second, ... i also wished for you to be mine" you smiled at mark whose face was indecipherable. "wait, what?" you noticed how his cheeks were lightly brushed with blush. "it was your notif, mark."

right there, mark realized that he failed to upload the story to the selected option. "i... well, you did suddenly moved and made me panic." mark chuckled as he continues to study your eyes that were glistening under the soft lights of the surroundings. "your turn. what did you wish for?"

mark came closer to you as he tucks some hair behind your ear, "it just came true." he whispered as he quickly diverted his vision towards the tree nearby. you softly held mark's chin as you got him to face you, your body suddenly heating up inside the white crewneck sweatshirt you were wearing. you both felt euphoric as the sudden confession still felt unreal. you both felt rewarded after keeping in the hopes and feelings for one another.

unconsciously, you both started to close in while the background started to seem blurry, and the only things that were clear to your visions were each other. "can i?" granting him permission mark closed the gap in between both of you, feeling his own soft set above yours. you returned the favor as you cautiously mimicked what mark did, creating a slow rhythm for the both of you.

lasting a good few seconds, you both broke away with heated cheeks and pleased hearts. mark pulled you closer as he now has you in between in him, hugging you from behind. he laid you back into his chest and placed one more kiss, smiling afterward. you locked your phone once again after posting another story. (check below) you both were glad that the wishes of becoming each other's pair were finally granted. mark continued to sway you in his arm, looking up at the succeeding eclipse. "hey y/n,"

"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

———

(for those who doesn't know it actually means 'i love you' !)

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mafianoir · 2 years

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have you seen rebel without a cause bc people equate james dean with his character in that movie or rather pop culture's ridiculous misconception of said character and the entire movie and i could go on about this but if i think about it too hard i might combust

HAVE I SEEN WHWHWHWHHW-- YES OF COURSE I'VE SEEN REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE DO I LOOK LIKE--

i could never put into words how i feel ab james dean's stardom better than the post i just reblogged but also,, i feel similarly about audrey hepburn (kinda, not to the same extent bc of different circumstances) bc i absolutely adore her to pieces but i feel like when people conjure an image of her or her persona/character in their head, it's either a) holly golightly or b) angelic manic pixie dream girl who was innocent and never did wrong

i'm ranting ab audrey in particular bc i love her ik this has barely anything to do w the ask

and i felt like this was too much to put into the tags but it almost pains me bc yes audrey was this wonderful, sweet, beautiful and kind larger than life woman who always strove to help others and was selfless- but she was also so agonisingly and wonderfully human, and she suffered so much and also harbors some of her own (very human) flaws, that i feel are glossed over in order to put her on this impossible pedestal. of all old hollywood icons, audrey is one of my very favourites (if not for lauren bacall, she'd be #1) and part of why i adore audrey is BECAUSE of her flaws, sometimes she was selfish, sometimes she simply yearned for things beyond her reach. i don't have an opinion on bill holden but her whole affair with him fascinates me to no end, and it is all so very.... human of her. she simply wanted, just like the rest of us. and often she might have behaved 'immorally' because of it. we all do.

same thing with marilyn monroe- to people today she is only ever Marilyn Monroe™️, never norma jeane, never the bright, well spoken and emotional woman, only the dumb, sexy curvy blonde, only an archetype. (there's also discussion of her being lgbt, but i feel with a lack of her own actual input, it's impolite to assume. correct me if otherwise ofc) same with frank sinatra and those who aren't aware of his alleged (real) mafia ties. so many old hollywood icons that are misunderstood and misrepresented as the image they portrayed on the silver screen, their real selves kinda just... lost to time. it's not even bittersweet. just bitter.

this is not to say james dean was flawed in a problematic way or anything- i kinda went off topic and went on my own rant. it's just that these real, very human individuals are constantly shadowed by what people want them to be. james dean is a particularly special case bc of clear lgbt erasure. like 90% of old hollywood were fruity as hell and of course there's no wondering why we don't hear about that facet of them now. as an lgbt individual myself, it's so lovely to know that these icons (that i cherish far more than our modern celebrities) were just like me. but the fact i have to dig through articles and cross reference books merely hinting about their queerness- it aches to know that history would rather replace you with a character you played, than celebrate you for who you really were. like dying isn't enough, they kill you again. ugh

anyway sorry for the long essay reply hhhh cringe i didnt even say anything substantial im just here to be annoying

and lbr if half of what these old hollywood starlets got up to were posted to twitter they'd all be cancelled sksjsjsksjdj cancel culture is so stupid

also speaking of misinterpreting a movie. breakfast at tiffany's is a whole other thing hhhhrhhrhgrfhfnfnhrhr

tldr; celebrities are human and over half a century later we still haven't learned

#IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT RESPONSE U DONT HAVE TO READ IT #just venting #now im worried i worded smth wrong and im gonna get beat up on the dash but eh. What can u do #james dean #audrey hepburn #marilyn monroe #discourse #?#thank u harry ur questions always make my braincells go brrrr #long post #(.ask.)

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oncefutureemrys · 3 years

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I'm gonna talk about one of my favourite fics bc why not,, it's called I'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) by snailguy on ao3 if you want to read it, but do so before reading this ask bc it's all just spoilers.

IT BROKE MY HEART??????? I READ IT A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I'M. NOT. OVER. IT.

... tbh I don't think I ever will

merlin saved arthur using magic and arthur saw him, it was really obvious

and he, of course, felt betrayed and had some mixed feelings but-

HE WAS *REALLY* HURT, I MEAN R E A L L Y

so what does he do?

... okay like merlin is having a breakdown and is trying to explain himself and arthur just - he just tells him to kneel. and to be quiet. and you know I'm reading that and I see where its going and I feel like I have something stich in my throat and I'm losing it already

and merlin naturally does as he's told and is sobbing quietly and is trying not to cry but is upset bc he also realised what's gonna happen

and arthur he- he is fighting with himself. he's hurt, he's sad, he's about to do the hardest thing in his whole life. and then- then the writer gives me hope!!!!!!

ARTHUR ASKS MERLIN IF HE CAN ASK HIM KNE QUESTION. and our lil bean says 'anything' and now I'm crying.

and arthur asks him is was ever going to tell him. merlin says he wanted to. none of them misses the unsaid no.

and,, and so many things happen, so. many details are included, it's so beautifully written-- that drop of blood on a blue neckerchief - that shift in Arthur's expression - how merlin still thought about shaving his king---- just--

and then it finally happens

arthur- he slips merlin's throat with excalibur and merlin is choking on his own blood and-------

and all merlin can think about is how everyone will hate him, bc of his magic, how everyone's lives will be easier without him and i-- I just--

and then he remembers all the little things he'll miss. he thinks about butterflies, the sun, waking up in his bed, riding a horse, and now he's crying bc he will never again experience any of this. and he curses kilgharrah and destiny and everything and--

and he- he---- he's gone---

and the nature mourns him.

I WAS HEARTBROKEN AFTER IT. I WAS BROKEN DAMMIT- AND I ABORE IT. I LOVE THAT FIC SO MUCH, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, IT'S SO STRONG AND FILLED WITH EMOTION-

.. I needed to rant about it somewhere and you reblogged that post- I had to.

so, I'm sorry for this late response, I was a bit busy finishing some stuff, but I read the fic you were talking aboUT AND AHHHH IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN WHATT!

here's the link for the fic I highly recommend but do check those tags because it's very angsty and MCD!

BUT YES FOR REAL HBWAHJDWD THIS FIC HURT ME IN SOOOO MANY WAYSSS I FEEL YOUUUU

LITERALLY THE LEVEL OF DETAIL OF THIS FIC I CANNOTTT IT WAS INCREDIBLEE!! THE WAY THAT YOU COULD TELL ARTHUR WAS WRESTLING WITH THIS DECISION, THE WAY THAT MERLIN FELT SO SAD FOR HAVING DONE THIS TO MERLIN -- LITERALLY I WAS ALSO BEING KILLED LIKE WAJBDHAHJWHJDWJD BRUHHHH THIS FIC HURTTSSS

but omgg WHEN MERLIN WAS SLOWLY DYING AND HE WAS THINKING OF ALL THE LITTLE MEMORIES OF THE REST OF THEM -- STOPPPP STOPP WBADHWJ MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS PAINNN THATS NOT FAIR

okay, here's a part of the fic that I loved:

Tears slipped from his eyes, still, as he realised he'd never again wake to Gaius' tinkering in the other room or the birds singing outside his window or hold his mother and breathe her in, that sweet smell of flowers and herbs and the wind, and it'd been far too long since he last saw her and he missed her so much and would she miss him? He'd never laugh as Gwaine flicked his hair in a mockery of some noblewoman that had visited, never feel safe in the hold of Lancelot's warm gaze as he showed him some new spell he'd learned, never finish learning how to braid hair with Gwen or hear her laugh as he tripped over nothing or help her with her chores on the days her father's death weighed on her. He'd never feel Percival or Leon's comforting hands on his shoulder or learn more effective ways to sharpen Arthur's swords from Elyan because he understood how tiresome being a servant could be from Gwen and would help in any way he could. He'd never feel the wind in his hair or see a butterfly or hold a rabbit or look for silly shapes in the clouds or ride a horse or do anything and it scared him because he never realised how much those small things meant to him until they were gone and he'd never get them back, never. Arthur had left him here to rot and there was nothing he could do, couldn't even move or breathe or call for help and he was so scared, so so scared and he didn't want to die, he wasn't ready, please come back, please help me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please—

THIS ENTIRE SECTION. I WAS NOT READY. NO THANK YOU, NO SIRRR NOT TODAY.

THE WAY THAT THAT ENTIRE LAST SECTION HURTTT ME ON SUCH A LEVELLLL WAS UNCALLED FOR BHWBABWHDBWJD ANON THIS WAS AN AMAZING FIC BUT ALSO WHY WOULD YOU HURTTT ME LIKE THISSSS BAHJBHDBWJABDW

but that ending was so beautifully done, the emotions WERE SO RAW AND BEAUTIFUL i absolutely loved itttt bwhbadaw literally can see why you might not ever be over it beCAUSE I DONT THINK ILL EVER BE OVER IT.

hhehe thanks for the painnn and the sufferringgg hahaha glad you told me about it though, it was an amazing read!!

anyway

anonymously tell me anything including fics that will break my heart thanks

#ask #ask answered #im sorry this is so late!!#but thanks for telling me about this fic #and...ripping my heart out #really appreciate thattt one thankss

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molusca · 3 years

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she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

#well. good morning #anon

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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hi! i'm on anon bc i don't have a tumblr (sorry) and found your blog through your recent post about gay knights. i'm 17 and honestly your amount of kind and enthusiastic knowledge about history, especially ancient history (and queer history), is how i aspire to be. do you have any advice for someone who wants to learn more about ancient (and queer) history but is very overwhelmed by the amount of material there is in general? thank you for being a wonderful person and i hope you're well!

Oh my goodness, this is so sweet (and I am very flattered). Truly, the quickest way to a medieval historian's heart is to tell them that you think they're cool. We will often become willing to do anything for you after that. Use this power wisely, youngling.

I can't throw as many links in here as I want to (because mobile) but I will hopefully reblog this post in a few days and add some more then. As noted, I am a medieval historian by training, so that is my main field of specialty. I have something like a 12-page bibliography of queer history publications (books, journal articles, etc) that I could try to fix up and post as a pdf if you (and the tumblrati) would find it useful. It's a working rough-draft bibliography and I know for a fact that some of the citations are half-assed or incomplete, but it's enough information to find the publication. It covers all aspects of premodern queer history, though most will focus on medieval and early modern topics. So yes, once I have access to the internet in desktop, I'm happy to do that if it would be helpful. You would then have to go about tracking down copies of the materials, of course (I recommend Google Scholar, which is a relatively useful place to find e-versions where they exist, and I seem to recall @jstor is letting you read 100 articles/month for free until the end of the year, no thanks to COVID) but that would at least give you a list with specific titles.

Next, I've already written a bunch of posts on the topic, which you can find in my queer history tag, and if you're interested in medieval history more generally (sometimes, but not always, queer history) I have a tag for that too. My gay knights post obviously touches on both of these things, but yes, there are definitely quite a few posts and extra book recommendations if you wanted to go through each tag and start reading what else I have already written.

In a few years, Deo volente, I will be able to self-aggrandizingly recommend my own book on premodern queer history to you, but that is still just in the contract stages and does not yet physically exist, alas. My gay knights post did include a lot of titles for related books and articles, however, if you wanted to start exploring any of those. It can be a bit of an adjustment to read scholarly research rather than popular history, but it always helps if you do want to be a historian (which warms my heart, truly) to start assessing how professionals in the field write, think, research, and converse with each other.

Anyway, hopefully that gives you a few places to start off, and I will try to remember to reblog this post in a few days and add the link to the queer history bibliography. Once the moving grind is over. Bleh. Why is it SUCH a pain.

Thanks again, and happy researching. :)

#anonymous #ask #queer history

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ofcloudyskies · 4 years

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hiya! i really, really hope things get better for you soon. if you ever want to talk about it, just know that i'm here ♡ i know what you mean about tumblr being a safe haven. looking back, i think i came back here bc i was going through a really rough patch (existential crisis do that to you) and even after all this time, i still find comfort in the chaos that is this website. it's become some sort of refuge where i can be silly and speak into the void about the things that make me happy. (1/6)

hello marina! <3 thanks to tumblr for the reveal haha :D i'll post this to keep the whole thing in one place

apart from ouat, i used to be really into glee. i stopped watching ouat after s5 and the later seasons of glee were a real roller coaster. but i was so happy in both fandoms. i mostly kept to my tiny bubble but i did meet so many lovely people. and the fact that i'll probably never know what's become of most of them will always hurt a bit. but yeah, life goes on and one can only hope that they're happy, wherever they are. ah, this got sappy haha. what other fandoms were you in before? (2/6)

my mind keeps drifting these days, too, and the fact that summer makes me feel super drained isn't helping at all. but YES, YESSSSS, i'm definitely up for a buddy reading. that may help us beat our reading slump! we can read "if we were villains" or we can choose any other book you may be interested in, of course! speaking of naomi novik, i started reading "spinning silver" a while ago after hearing great things from a friend of mine. (3/6)

i don't think i picked it at the right time, but god, the writing was so atmospheric and raw. i'll definitely go back to it one day, i love retellings. also, i hadn't even thought about the colors of the covers, what a cool coincidence! black and gold will always be one of my favorite combos. there's something so magical and kingly about it, right? the collector's edition for crooked kingdom is black and gold, too, and i couldn't stop staring at it the day it came in the mail hahaha. (4/6)

see, i'm incredibly intrigued about nikolai. i need to know more about him. that's one of the main reasons why i want to read the shadow and bone trilogy, actually. if i manage to get out of this terrible slump, i think i'll jump back into the grishaverse and give the trilogy a go. in the meantime, could netflix please give us a trailer or some promo pics? i need something, anything! (5/6)

ahh, tumblr won't allow me to send any more questions for at least an hour because i exceeded the ask limit. but i just needed to send one last message, so i'll just come off anon, i guess hahaha. anyway, feel free to write as much as you want!! as you can see, my messages just keep getting longer and longer. aaah, i'm so sorry. but what can i say, i love letters too! (6/6)

~~~~~

ah, thank you for good wishes <3 i don't want to burden you too much with my life problems and tbh it doesn't really get easier no matter how many times i talk about it, i will most certainly end up crying again if i start thinking about it too much again. i’ve been living with this terrible feeling of uncertainty about the future for a year now (because the thing will happen, the question is how soon) and it feels like i’m always at the verge tears, one word, one thought and i break. ugh, now i’m being weirdly vague akfdjhg sorry >< but i hope you managed to get through your rough patch! if you need to vent about anything, you know where to find me!

oh, i'm actually rewatching glee right now! i was so into it in high school but stopped watching at some point. last fall i needed a pick-me-up show to pass a few weeks of alone evenings so i randomly decided to rewatch glee and this time to watch the whole thing till the end. i think i'm at the start of s4 now. i mostly only listen to the episodes while cooking :D

other than ouat i think i only actively participated in doctor who fandom. for other things i was just a lurker/rebloger... then i got into animanga (mostly into this one baseball manga?? i literally didn't know the rules of baseball back then. don't ask why i like it so much, i don't understand it myself haha, i just accept it) and made a sideblog for that which i started using more than the main blog so i made a separate account and came here only from time to time

YAY we can agree on ‘if we were villains’!! i’ve been considering ‘the priory of the orange tree’ from samantha shannon recently but it’s definitely too long for a slump mood. ah, naomi novik has polish roots and i remember uprooted was based on polish folklore, it was nice to see elements of the tales from my country in the story. i wonder if her other books have that as well. and oh my, i envy you the collector's edition of crooked kingdom! i own the duology but in the basic covers, i love them lots anyway. what are your other fav covers on your bookshelf? and i hope i didn't oversell nikolai, would be bad now if you read the books now and were meh about him ahaha, fingers crossed!

if you like writing letters to strangers, there's this cool app called 'slowly'. you’re matched with a stranger from somewhere in the world and you can write each other letters. the letter takes time to arrive to the recipient according to the distance between the countries where both people live. i used it a bit when i was stuck at home and wanted to feel connected to the world c:

idk how we should keep this going :D does fanmail still exist on tumblr? if u have ideas let me know hah. have a good night x

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docholligay · 7 years

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Re: Imaginary Friends bc I can't reply for some reason - WOW this was amazing. Re: Imaginary Friends bc I can't reply for some reason - I'm so invested in Haruka and her family, I just want her to get to be happy! Would honestly love to see the Michiru POV I bet it's fascinating. I'm so worried about you everyone here, amazing job, great atmosphere!

Thank you so much! I might post the old Michiru POV fic to the patreon, if there’s any interest there.

vassekocho said: This is sooooo good. I love Haruka’s inner voice, the small mistakes she makes, the ways she reminds herself she doesn’t belong (even if she clearly does). Mako and Mina cameos are great, I always enjoy seeing other girls in your AUs. The ending line sent chills down my spine, and as sudden as it is it’s also the perfect open ending to a horror story. Filing this away as one of my favorites.

Thank you! Haruka’s inner voice is really tough for me to write in, and this is by far the longest I’ve done it for, so it makes me so happy to know it worked for you

simplymindspace said: I shall most certainly post my thoughts on this when I have more time later today/nite. But just, DAMN DOC. JUST DAMN.

You’re the only one I can be this forward with BUT IF WORDS FAIL YOU A SKETCH IS FINE

skylineofspace said: I really love the way you build characters in your stories, by putting in details that are off from what one might think as the default of a situation, and then tying them together with a reveal. It works really well for both Haruka being adopted and for Michiru’s goal at the end.

Thank you so much!! When I started this AU, a lot of my “stock” solutions for Haruka and Michiru didn’t quite work, so in some ways it was really challenging to make my own conceptions of character hold against this setup, especially when we CAN’T see what Michiru is thinking or feeling. But I think I like what I ended up with!

Keyofjetwolf said: “and another half of my brain, the part that was the worst at math” ACTUAL LOL

THANK YOU I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY

: MOUSE IS HERE TOOOOO (I now realize that Mouse has appeared a hell of a lot more than I realized, which I feel particularly daft about. STILL. MOUSE.)(Though maybe Ghost Mouse? I’m thinking very possibly. Did Michiru kill you, buddy?)

MOUSE ENDS UP A LOT OF PLACES ahaahah

GHOST MICHIRU IS LONELY AND HAS WANTS AND DOESN’T REALLY CARE WHETHER YOU SHARE THEM HARUKA I love that you’ve made her dangerous.

I was just thinking about Michiru, and what if she’d spent a hundred years watching and waiting, and finally saw something she wanted? Something she craved.

“She had the same look in her eyes, and they were even stranger in full color, like they’d seen everything, and wouldn’t tell you, they would just let you drown.” This is one of those lines you come across every now and then, where it’s just so fucking good you kind of want to scream. God.

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LIKED IT TOO

“She was talented and set to marry Mamoru Chiba” WELL I’D PROBABLY FLING MYSELF TOO HONEST

AHAHAH

“Of course we want to come to your giant palatial mansion, holy shit rich kid.” Mina was about as nice about this as usual. ANOTHER LOL

THANK

“Ow!” She threw off the sheet. “Oh my god, I’ve been hit by a popcorn ball but also inspiration. Let’s do some ouija board shit!” Oh my god Minako you fucking idiot, this is amazing, my anxiety just shot through the roof.

I AM SO GLAD. Horror and humor are the two hardest things to write, i think.

The glass moved again, not waiting for a hand. C..A..T..G..O..T…Y…O…U..R..T…O…N..G…U…E..? –Michiru finally gets to speak and this is what she says. MICHIRU KAIOH YOU ARE DEAD BUT YOU SHOULD ALSO BE ASHAMED

MICHIRU PLS

Man, I have so many ouija board shit, this really sticks with me. I’m glad you went there.

I LOVE TO SCARE YOU SO SO AM I

“Mina’s right. I’ll go into the basement for a pretty girl.” I love this. LOVE this. That despite everything, despite KNOWING better, Haruka’s convinced herself on some level that Michiru’s not dangerous. And it’s such a stupid fucking thing to do, but Haruka – EVEN MORE HERE PERHAPS THAN USUAL – as a goddamn martyr complex and wants to save the fucking world and everyone in it. And she, too, is lonely, and wants to love and be loved, and she wants a girlfriend and god, she’s just SO UNSPEAKABLY STUPID about this, but so understandably, and I adore it so fucking much. If there were one genre that would be yours, I think we’d agree it would be horror. And I love how the person is much at the root of it. Haruka’s being haunted, but it’s her own nature that’s really doing her in here. Those are ideas that are always so present your horror stories, and it makes them just so delicious.

THANK YOU. Yes I feel like horror is personal, and this moment, that sentence, is the linchpin of what I think this is for Haruka. That she can’t leave it alone. Despite everything she knows about MIchiru she feels BAD. She feels like she can save her. And that strange goodness that Michiru, if we could hear her side, could barely understand, well, that just makes her bolder.

“I don’t know what she wants. But I think it’s me.” WAIT THAT’S IT THAT CAN’T BE IT WHAT THE FUCK HOLLIGAY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE F

AND YET

Shadowsarefriendstoo said: This is a fucking masterpiece. Those layers add a depth to this otherwise fairly simple storyline in a way that sent actual chills crawling down my arms. Not just in the…spoopy scenes if you will- but those tiny emotions mentioned, the parallel and that lingering sense of insanity are so seamlessly woven throughout the writing. Gah, I just love it. Haunting beyond Michiru’s ghost who was being really fucking extra and creepy as well. Good god, she’s dead and she’s still the more dominant of the two.

Thank you so much!! This means a lot to me, and thank you for reblogging it!

#taikuroba

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decembercamiecherries · 7 years

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Are you taking prompts at the moment? ^-^ bc I saw the prompts you reblogged and thought “You’re not pulling another all-nighter, not if I can do anything about it.” sounded cute, and I also saw you say you like thinking about Killua & Gon sleeping next to each other, and thought it might fit? only if you want to of course! and while I'm here, THANK YOU for sharing your writing, it's so so much fun to read and to follow you because I know my day will be saved whenever you post something new

I’m actually trying to hold off on doing requests at the moment bc I have three other projects I’m currently working on hahaaaaaaa ^^; But this was so cute and your message was so incredibly sweet, I just had to write it!!!

This takes place after two-ish years after the killugon separation, so they’re sixteen here! Alluka and Killua are visiting Whale Island (and Gon, of course) for a bit before going off to travel the world again!

I hope you like this! Thank you so much again for your kind comments~

BANG!

Killua jolted at the ear-blasting sound and dropped his DS, heart leaping up into his throat.

“Killua,” came the familiar, stubborn tone from the open doorway.

Gon, Killua’s mind sang out silently.

He immediately stomped that inner voice down. He had thought being separated for nearly two years would’ve gotten rid of the way his insides twisted at the sight of his best friend.

Apparently, he was wrong.

“What, Gon?” Killua snapped as he snatched his DS of the soft sheets. “I said goodnight to you nearly half an hour ago. Who do you think you are, barging into my room like this?”

“Technically, it’s my room since it’s my house.”

“Technically-” Killua shot back, irritated, “- I’m the guest, so its my room. Not yours. Seriously, what do you want? Normally you’re asleep by now.”

Gon shut the door behind him before padding over to the bed. Killua could hear him approaching with the quiet tap-tap of his bare feet against the wooden floor. By the time Gon arrived at his bedside, Killua had pushed himself upwards into a sitting position.

They just looked at each other for a minute, not saying anything. Killua swept his eyes over Gon’s mess of hair, the crumpled green t-shirt and caramel eyes that seemed to glow even in the dark of night.

He didn’t see anything wrong with Gon. But that didn’t mean anything. Killua had learned that the hard way.

“…Gon?” Killua asked lowly. “What’s-”

“Move over,” Gon said.

Killua blinked. “Um.”

But Gon was already pulling back the sheets and moving to sit down on the mattress. Killua scrambled away until his left arm hit the wall, gaping as Gon shimmied down under the covers.

There was a beat of silence. Then-

“Aren’t you gonna sleep, Killua?” Gon asked and Killua’s mind reeled.

What the hell was going on here?!

“Gon,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Mm?”

“What are you- no, why are you in my bed?!”

Gon peeked up at him. “Sleeping. You still do that, right?”

“Of course I do, stupid!” Killua spat. “Why do you have to do it in my bed, though?! You have a perfectly good bedroom of your own, you know!”

Gon frowned. “I’m doing this for you, Killua.”

…what.

“I’m not gonna let you pull another all-nighter,” Gon explained patiently, like Killua was some temper tantrum throwing two year old. “Not if I can do anything about it.”

“W-Who said I pulled an all-nighter?!” Killua stammered.

“No one. I could just tell. You kept staring off into the distance and spacing out all day. And you never do that.”

Killua’s mouth snapped shut. He could feel Gon’s heavy gaze on his face, even in the dimness of the room. It made his skin hot and itchy.

Killua looked away, ignoring the heat on his cheeks. “So what if I did?”

“Ki-llu-aaaaa,” Gon whined and Killua clenched his jaw hard enough to ache. “Why aren’t you sleeping? Is the room too hot? I’ll tell Aunt Mito if that’s the case and we can open up the windows an hour before we go to bed.”

“No! No, that’s not…” Killua didn’t know what to say. The truth was too embarrassing, there was no way he could tell Gon.

A feather-light touch brushed against his wrist.

“Killua,” Gon said quietly as Killua sucked in a breath. “Tell me. Tell me and I’ll fix it.”

He shook his head. “It’s stupid.”

“No.” The calloused hand tightened around his pale fingers. “Its not. If its bothering you, its not stupid. I promise I won’t laugh. Please, just…tell me. I want you to be comfortable here.”

Gon didn’t say ‘with me’. But the implication was heavy and palpable as it hung in the air between them.

Killua squeezed his eyes shut, inwardly cursing. There was no way he could hold back after that.

“I, um. Its just, that- the thing is, ever since Heavens Arena…”

“Yeah?”

Killua swallowed. His hands were starting to sweat. He really hoped Gon wouldn’t notice.

He inhaled deeply before starting again. “Ever since Heavens Arena, after you and me started sleeping in the same, uh, bed. I have a hard time…sleeping on my own. I normally sleep with Alluka when we’re in hotels.”

Gon didn’t say anything for a moment. He didn’t let go of Killua’s hand either, though. Killua wasn’t sure what to make of that, but apparently the rapid pounding of his heart could.

The stupid thing hadn’t calmed down since he’d ran into Gon’s open arms three days ago.

“Is that all?” Gon asked, voice cutting through the air, and Killua blinked.

“Um. Yes?”

“Oh,” Gon said. He didn’t sound angry, or upset, or even annoyed. If anything, the little sigh in his tone was relieved. “That’s great! I was scared it was something really bad.”

“I.” Killua was so confused. What was going on. Why was everything always so damn weird whenever Gon was around?! “I don’t get it.”

Gon beamed at him, those tan, freckled cheeks dimpling like they always did whenever Gon got ridiculously happy, and the air in Killua’s lungs disappeared.

“I’ll stay with you,” Gon said simply. “Every night until you have to go again- we can share a bed, just like we used to when we traveled together! That should fix the problem, right?”

Killua let out a squawk as Gon suddenly yanked him down onto the pillow. Somewhere in the distance, he heard the DS clatter to the floor.

But that didn’t matter. Because all he could see right now was the tiny flecks of gold in Gon’s eyes.

“G’night, Killua,” his best friend whispered and his breath ghosted over Killua’s cheeks.

Killua bit the inside of his cheek. He could still feel his blood racing through his veins. He’d just have to deal with it. There was no way Gon was leaving now.

“Night, Gon,” he murmured back. The last thing he saw before he shut his eyes was Gon’s tiny but completely genuine smile, like he wouldn’t be anywhere else but here, at Killua’s side.

It wasn’t until the next morning that Killua realized they’d fallen asleep holding hands.

#dc writes #killugon #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #hunterxhunter #canon universe #aged up au #au #half-way killugon reunion #alluka's in another guest bedroom #mito and gon thought killua and alluka would like the space #they were wrong #but gon fixed that #:3

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