wait it out // imogen heap

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

thinking about 4halo again and dying

they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other

and then the eggs went missing

and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.

and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.

forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.

and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.

and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.

and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.

and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds

reworking this old ass oc and trying to figure out colors <3

himh I'll make a Dark Urge that's so fucking scared

big scary bloodsoaked killer, tearing through armies with her literal bare hands? nah. a quiet, scared girl who doesn't understand why she does what she does, why she can do what she can, but is, at the same time, deeply disgusted by herself because she has just enough self-awareness to know to be repulsed.

maybe it's because I'm a tiny bit obsessed with clinging to the thought that people, at the end of the day, are fundamentally good, no matter what. that there is a fundamental human goodness in all people that makes them worthy of redemption, or at least of the opportunity for atonement.

maybe the way I want to play a story like that is with someone who, stripped from indoctrination and free for the first time to think for herself and embrace and be who she is, finds that in the deepest, most hidden pits of her soul, she is not the strong, kind, resilient person she might want to be. try as the might, she is not someone who can bear the weight of her own past, she's just a... a terrified, broken little girl, cowering in the shadows and unable to look herself in the eye. (which also gives me ideas for her relationship with Orin but that's a little bit beside the point)

cathartic self-insert who. therapy? what is that. is it on Steam or Epic.

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

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BAM here’s some old train!palace stuff! It’s just thumbnails for a comic i never got around to finalizing,, but yeah i guess its bonus content now lol. now you can see how most of my nonsense starts xD

Found more really cute images of him

eepy

Plagued by the horrors (shows I’m deeply invested in that are mostly really good but make deeply disappointing writing choices near the end)

king - florence + the machine / you first - paramore

wait what did you say you wanted?? some more nausicaä/kushana parallels?? do not fear, my child, you shan't wait any longer.

nausicaä in volume 1 vs. kushana in volume 5. i once saw someone saying that as the story progresses nausicaä and kushana go in opposite directions and so they approach what it feels like to be the other and i quite like that idea. what you have is both of them discovering inside them sentiments they didn't know were there, and sentiments that are usually associated with the other. kushana finds in herself a lot of sadness and grief, much like nausicaä, and nausicaä discovers the amount of anger she didn't even know she had inside her. and it's nice to notice that none of this was a conscious choice for them. so "approaching what it feels like to be the other" doesn't mean that they become different people as the story progresses, but that they are confronted with parts of themselves they weren't aware of or used to or that were buried deep and it makes you realize just how similar the two of them were all along.

again volume 1 vs. volume 5. kinda self-explanatory. i like how it's master yupa the one to say this to both of them and also how he's always present in moments like the ones from the first two panels. much to think. nice dude nice dude.

"Suppalo doesn't do anything that a normal school wouldn't do " um yes?? Normal schools are horribly oppressive and control-oriented. They are designed to make kids think things that are not important carry this insane weight. Manufactured intensity is like their whole deal.

There are many many sources of oppression and control present in our lives, all of the time. If you can't question them enough that you think The Eclipse is a bad show because the mind control and strict rule aspect isn't dramatic enough... perhaps you need to watch The Eclipse. Idk.