Self-Violation

Oh your eyes may deceive you, but your hands? My, how they mock you. They twist and turn, gathering the attention of everyone around like a jester in court, laughing at its king. ‘Hear ye, hear ye, a puppet am I? Yet no puppet rivals its master, the fool!’ What good is a man whose eyes lie, whose hands point and pull at, whose heart does not compare to his self-conceited brain. So what. what then? They pull. The hands pull, and stretch, and reach for the chasms no one dares to touch. You plead and shout, but they don’t listen. You are a weak master, a weak soul. They will pull, and tear, and break, until they reach bone. Once they do, will they find a true face? Will your heart rebirth from the trails they left, growing twice in size? And if not, will the hands of those who loved you be there to pick up for your selfish cowardice?

Push forward. Pulled back.

Pull.

there’s no denying that they ultimately both just want to be together they just, by nature, interpret that two different ways and even though season 1 seemed to establish an “our side” that separated them from heaven and hell, like they presumably wanted, it couldn’t allow them a space to develop a relationship any further and it seems that aziraphale’s final decision was based on what he thought would make crowley happy, what would please him, because he saw how happy crowley was as an angel and aziraphale still has a foot in heaven so he’s blind to see how maybe 6000 years could change how happy crowley is with himself as an angel, demon, or “us” and just believes they need to go back to the purity of heaven for everything to be right for them, even though he could literally see maggie and nina’s relationship play out as a perfect example of people growing and changing to fit each other even with the underlying love between them they had to change themselves and fix their hearts before they could truly gain an “our side” because an “our side” was always more than just not working for heaven and hell, it was like a promise that they would always be a constant regardless of the rest of the world but aziraphale seemingly could not fully see what that took as he knew how badly they both wanted that, he thought that the Right thing would be to go along with heaven (as they are the Right Side) as he thought that would make crowley happy despite knowing crowley just wanted him.

and i severely doubt that it could’ve been some sort of Heaven Brainwashing that made aziraphale accept the offer bc it is simply in his nature that he would choose to accept that offer because he has been told time and time again that heaven is the Right answer (despite countless times he has chosen crowley) and he saw this as a way to keep everything he loves without doing wrong because metatron promised him everything and he needed to make not only crowley happy but heaven

I have (a lot of) thoughts on KJ meeting Lauren.

The scene opens on a long lens, wide shot of KJ clearly trying to covertly scour the cinema for someone. The use of a long lens and it’s blurring of the background is used primarily to position the audience with KJ and to externalise KJ’s subjective experience; the focus is fully on KJ’s emotional state. The fliers for cinema membership geographically grounding the audience and sets up the expectation of a confrontation between future KJ and KJ – as the audience is fully aware of future KJ’s presence at the cinema. Alongside the till the mise-en-scene serves as a physical barrier between the past and the future; the film iconography a continual representation of KJ’s future. Reinforcing the idea of a confrontation. As the focus shifts, from an emphasis on KJ in the foreground to Future KJ & Lauren in the background, we are positioned definitively with KJ being fully immersed in her subjective POV. Reinforced by the shift from a non-diegetic, tense soundtrack – highlighting KJ’s anxiety – to the emphasis on Future KJ’s and Lauren’s conversation, matching KJ’s focus on the pair.  

The use of a close up on KJ’s expression before cutting back to Future KJ & Lauren primes the audience’s attention to the casual touches and intimacy they share, with the lingering touches and the way they both staying reaching for each other even as Future KJ breaks away. It also adds a dimension of voyeurism to the scene, further entrenching us in KJ’s point of view. Notably, the camera remains fixed even as Future KJ leaves, this subverts the audiences’ expectations with the focus staying trained on Lauren. This unexpected focus others KJ from the paper girls, not only in terms of her sexuality but also in her rejection of a confrontation with her future self.

The sense of voyeurism is reinforced by the continual cutting to the close up of KJ, emphasizing her reactions to the audience as she takes it all in and physically psyches herself up before approaching. This is where the performance really shines, as we see these small moments of anxiety: such as the purposefully slow folding and placing away of the leaflet almost acting as an attempt to drag out and delay the confrontation for as long as possible. Gestures like this reinforce the importance of the ensuing conversation and are a naturalistic and subtle way to highlight KJ’s (understandable) fear. The soundtrack builds, aurally representing her rising anxiety & fear which is contrapuntal to the mundane visuals of Lauren browsing for food. This is then immediately contrasted by the cowboy shot of KJ approaching, showing her attempts of feigning confidence. The retention of the long focus showcases how internal KJ is at this moment, how streamlined her focus is on Lauren and nothing else. The tense music also fades away into an ambient diegetic sonic wallpaper, representing her getting out of her own head and back into reality.

The camera then shifts to a wide low shot of Lauren browsing, with the Kubrick film posters in the background a reminder of the importance of this space as a shared space for Future KJ and Lauren. KJ’s physical entering into the scene showcasing a tentative acceptance of her future, however the poster board in the middle acts as visual divide between the pair and symbolises the divide between the past and the future. This framing also allows for an obvious visual parallel between Lauren who immediately softens at the sight of KJ and KJ herself who is visibly tense and on edge the entire time.

The small talk is exclusively about the movie, drawing a greater connection between KJ and her future self as film becomes this shared language they have with Lauren. Throughout the scene Lauren is framed using the long lens, subtly indicating that this is KJ’s perspective still, with the continuous warm hues of oranges contrasting the cooler blue palette behind KJ. This makes Lauren appear softer, friendlier, more inviting, showing how KJ is actively looking for reassurance, guidance and comfort following her realisation – especially as she hasn’t fully accepted everything yet. It’s notable that this warm palette stems entirely from the cinema itself, reiterating how cinema will grow to be a constant reassuring presence in her life.

The use of editing is used to add a poignancy and urgently, stressing different parts of the main question. The use of lingering shots shows Lauren’s expectancy and the patience she affords to KJ, allowing both the time to properly articulate themselves. The cutting of the dialogue between the shots also adds a sense of poignancy to the scene, the breaking up of KJ’s line between them not only adds a more fluid and dynamic feeling to an otherwise static conversation but also adds specific emphasis to different parts of the question. For example, the split of “how did you know”, on a close up of Lauren with “that you were someone who felt this way” as the shot reverses to KJ. By splitting the dialogue in this way, it stresses the importance of specific lines and the relevance to that character. Editing is also used to represent the difference in acceptance between the two, with each of KJ’s close up dialogue reiterating the code word of “movies”, whilst this is absent for the dialogue over Lauren’s close ups as she is comfortable with her identity doesn’t have the need to hide behind innuendo and code words.

Lauren’s adoption of KJ’s paraverbal communication – stressing the word ‘movies’ emphasising its role as a code word - subtly signals to KJ that she knows what they’re on about but also a recognition that KJ isn’t quite at the point to openly acknowledge it. It’s such a small moment of consideration and tenderness that makes the conversation so resonant. There’s also a direct parallel drawn sonically between the pair, with both KJ and Lauren faltering initially to verbalise and articulate their thoughts, with the same amplified breathing and stuttering. However, unlike KJ who becomes physically smaller, withdrawing behind her gestural tick, as Lauren takes a deep breath, she physically becomes bigger, more confident, dominating more of the frame. Lauren’s speech is far more measured than her ramblings before betraying the amount of consideration and importance she’s placing on this – how seriously she’s taking KJ in a way that few others before have. Another interesting parallel between KJ and Lauren is their use of body language, both rely heavily on gestural ticks and hand movements, as if the ideas and emotions are too big, too important to be confined to just words. These small gestures and performance choices give the whole scene an incredibly naturalistic and nuanced performance, allowing for greater emotional resonance. The close up of KJ slowly nodding rhymes with the comic interpretation of this scene – a moment of quiet reflection (“oh that’s why”) - as well as giving both KJ and the audience to decompress and sort out their feelings.  

When future KJ is introduced, it’s done in a reversal of our introduction of Lauren earlier – this time with KJ in focus whilst Lauren remains blurry in the foreground - establishing future KJ and Lauren as a complimentary pair. This also creates a moment of dramatic irony and tension for the audience as unlike KJ we are fully aware of her future self approaching, reviving the expectations of a confrontation between both KJs. It also means that the focus stays firmly on this KJ and her emotional headspace. Notably, the background is a lot sharper and more in focus, symbolising how after having had to process KJ is closer to acceptance, more confident, more self-assured. Furthermore, the movement of the two KJs is paralleled with the confident, slow strides of future KJ directly contrasting the more skittish, abrupt movements of KJ as she runs away (this is also another rhyming moment from the comic with KJs realisation being paired with running away from people in both). The cut to the mid shot of KJ abruptly leaving also marks the first time throughout the scene that we as the audience are aligned with anyone other than KJ – instead we’re now aligned with Lauren and her confusion. With KJ’s approach over becoming more focused as Lauren shifts her attention back to her present, this is reiterated by the film posters in the background becoming more prominent once again.

tldr: It's very cute and we see how much Lauren is accomodating KJ throughout the whole scene ((:

anyone else get immensely lonely in indescribable ways but there is no form of human contact or communication that feels like it would remedy the feeling? yeah me neither ahahah

"A little octave-hopping never hurt anyone!"

"Except Octave-Hopping Jim."

"Oh man. He fell right off the stave"

pro-AI in the sense of "they taught a bread scanning computer to recognize cancer cells" etc etc

against AI in the sense of "we stole artwork from hundreds to thousands of artists, didn't credit them and didn't financially compensate them"

the booping is cute and all but lets not forget the violent transmisogyny and antiblackness of this site. ok

do you love the color of the sky

Everything abt the modern world is so ridiculous

Yeah we're surrounded by literal magic like at all times but yk

Gotta keep going to the place to get "money" ig

Ignore that ur fucking forcing ur body into a position you call "sitting" in a "chair" itself made from impossible ideas of tiny little particles you can't see, of which you are also completely made up of, and could not exist without, a thousand thousand thousand impossibly small interactions allowing you to be you at all, while the "light" (particles that for whatever reason bring us joy and we are "afraid" without) of an extremely distant constant never ending explosion on our time scale and impossibly brief on others, pooling around a fucking Deep Spot in the fabric of our reality

But yk u gotta care abt how whoever you've been told to listen to wants some bullshit we made up done this way or that

GET BOOPED

petition to keep the boop button

Love how tumblr has collectively just accepted this new feature to bring us all together like yes person I've never even met on the face of this website leave me 99+ notifs I've been booped

✨💫 TWST JP "ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL" FULL 3D PERFORMANCE 💫✨

I needed to share this video because it was region locked for this year's April Fools, but we finally got the full performance of the VDC tribe in TWST FES last year....😭🫶

WE WON EVERYONE 🎉🎊

LOOK AT THEM!!! 😭🎉🎉

I need more people to boop, pls like (or reblog) this if I can spam you with boops thank 💜

tonight the super booper, beams are gonna find me, shining like the sun (super-per, booper-per), smiling having fun (super-per, booper-per), feeling like a number one