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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

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(sees another fandom that I can ask you about and cheers) Orphan Black! Thoughts? I don't know Dr Who but Tatiana is one of my favorite actors period.

Anon you are so sweet! I'm always happy to chat about fandoms and characters and whatnot, and I will never not appreciate the majesty of Tatiana's acting. That is one of the greatest parts of the show hands down.

Orphan Black, to me, is a show that had incredible potential, but didn't really live up to the excitement it created. (Loooong post ahead.)

The thing is, Orphan Black builds a chilling mystery and background, the world it gradually creates as it goes for about the first two seasons, got be very invested and made me wonder a lot about where it was going to go and what the answers were. The setup is brilliant, right from the start with that iconic cold open of Beth's suicide. The unknown is what really helped this show get as thrilling as it was, because the actual answers behind the unknown were kind of hit and miss, and it seemed like far too often, the show just wasn't interested in telling it's story. Hijinks where the clones impersonate each other in slice of life events? That's fun at first and it really works well as they're still getting to know each other. But after a while, it gets tedious, and it seems like the show would rather fuck around and have dance parties (seriously, that scene was such a #BigLippedAlligatorMoment) than focus on the story and the threat that the sisters are facing. Virtually all of Allison's plotlines are like this, they feel like they belong in a different show, and for some reason the writers insisted on giving her one of these storylines like, every season. After Allison passively murders her own friend out of suspecting that she's spying on her, I just don't feel like an arc about her running for some PTA office position even matters. It doesn't feel right.

Speaking of that, here's another example: Donnie. Why did the end of the first season suggest that he was this secret mastermind working for Leekie? The whole idea just deflates in Season 2 and doesn't really go anywhere. He just goes back to being the bumbling sweetheart he was before. Why even have him be the spy? Maybe it should have been Ainsley. Do you want to know the exact moment that I think Orphan Black went wrong? Like, the specific scene? When Leekie was killed off. The character who had thus far been the Big Bad, gets taken out in the stupidest possible way, a literal accident on Donnie's part, and it's even played for laughs. After that point, the show really struggled to regain it's footing, though I don't think it completely went off the rails until about Season 4, and it was still generally hit or miss. Like, some stuff was really good. The introduction of the Castor clones, the development of Rachel's character (I'll get to her, trust me.) and the reveal of Kendall Malone. But it seemed like so much else was just forgotten or otherwise not resolved. Whatever happened to Cal? Sure, the show wanted to focus on the sisters...but Kira deserves to know her father if she wants to. That's just one example. It's a crying shame because this show is sometimes incredible. The metaphor that I always use for situations like this, is a card game. The show has all the right cards in its hand, they're just not being played.

The two strongest characters, at least to me, were Rachel and Helena. One of these characters was superbly written and went through a devastating arc. The other was Helena. We need to talk about her. In Season 1, she really cemented herself as a memorable presence with her trademark accent, her scars, her whole damn personality (again, hats off to Tatiana) and of course, that iconic screechy theme music that accompanied her. Which at first made us jump, but eventually made us cheer. I adored Helena, and I loved the development of her relationship with Sarah. Who went from shooting her in Season 1, to being deadset on rescuring her in Season 3, being furious with Siobhan for betraying her. (This is unrelated but Siobhan has the same " twist villain fakeout" at the end of Season 1 that Donnie does, and it's quite frustrating.) And yet, I swear, the writers just didn't know what to do with Helena half the time. They put her on a bus for long stretches, including one point where she just up and leaves Allison's house in Season 4, for no given reason. And the characters just kind of...don't care. The same thing happens when she gets arrested. No one cares to try and find Helena, even though she's unstable and often a danger to those around her. Even though she's by herself with no real ability to function in society. Even though she's pregnant. There is no excuse for this, and no Sarah, that "I'm sorry, I avoided you" scene in Season 5 is not going to cut it. It's such an afterthought.

I'm being rather critical, but I hope you can tell that this is from a point of passion. I genuinely enjoyed this show and getting to watch it. Just that sometimes it didn't feel like the show cared that I was watching. However, this was not true whenever Rachel was onscreen. Look, I'm a Merula Snyde stan, so you can probably already guess how I feel about Rachel. Despite her crimes, despite her constant slipping back the dark side, I felt so bad for Rachel at the end of it all. That scene with Kira really sums it up. "Who hurt you?" "All of them." And no scene is more intense than when she stabs out the eye cam. Like, I'm sorry, I pitied Rachel pretty much from Season 2 on. Her parents were horrible to her, and I'm supposed to think Ethan is the good guy here? He kills himself in front of his own daughter, telling her that she doesn't deserve him. And then Sarah shoots a pencil through her eye, causing brain damage and requiring a long recovery. I'm not saying that Sarah was wrong to do what she did, just that if I were in her shoes, I'd still feel a degree of guilt for Rachel's condition. In the end, I'm devastated that she was barred from Clone Club, when she made the right decision at the point it mattered. But there's just too much history there, and Sarah won't ever forgive her. (Though again, I do feel as though there's blame to share.) Rachel is my favorite character and I never expected her to be. But she's just so complex. Side note: "Enjoy your oophorectomy" is so damn quotable. I don't know why but I love that line.

So, Rachel's my favorite. Who's my least favorite? It might surprise you. It's Delphine. I'm sorry, but I just...I couldn't get on board with C*phine. Not after Season 3. I was waiting for the point that the show would push to finally redeem Delphine for her turncoat role, for all of the hell that she put Cosima through. By Season 5 though? I realized that as far as the writers were concerned? She already was redeemed. Even though she did nothing to earn it, except be presumed dead by Cosima. The way she treats Cosima in Season 3 is actually disgusting. Her reasoning for breaking up with Cosima is circular. She has to love "all the clones" in order to be with Cosima, and the way to do that is to take over Rachel's job, which means they can't date anymore? I'm not the only one who thought that didn't make sense, right? Oh and let's talk about how she stalks Cosima's date, breaks into her house, and threatens her life. Red. Flags. Cosima even says the line, "If you're not going to be with me, just let me go." I'm sorry, that should not be something she has to beg for. Delphine's behavior made me want her to stay far, far away from Cosima. Who is, incidentally, a sweetie and I absolutely adore her. I legit have trouble remembering that Tatiana's playing her because she just looks and acts so different. That said, even though I immensely disliked Delphine, I am so very glad that they made one of the clones gay. Just like I'm glad that they made one of them trans. (Though...Tony wasn't handled especially well.)

In general, I do think the earlier seasons were stronger. The Brightborn arc, while interesting, didn't really contribute much to the overarching narrative. We got the backstory on Beth's suicide and finally learned the truth about her, I suppose. Still, even though Beth is one of my favorite of the clones, and I never expected her to be either...I feel like the actual reason given for why she took her own life was rather illogical. She apparently did it because the investigation was putting the clones in danger of another Helsinki. Okay, but just because Evie Cho says you should off yourself, doesn't mean you have to. You could just, like...stop investigating. And if you die under mysterious circumstances without explaining anything to the sisters, they're not going to be put off from the investigation. They're going to look into this even more, because they don't know why they're not supposed to. The reveal that she and Art fell in love toward the end adds an extra gut punch, but it also doesn't make sense because wouldn't Art have referenced it during the period that he thought Sarah was Beth? On the other hand, Season 4 also introduced MK. And I have such a soft spot for her. I adore that sheep-masked sweetie. Everyone always asks "Which clone would you date" (because fandoms can think of nothing else I guess) and I never see anyone give any love to MK. Her death absolutely tore me apart. I am glad Siobhan avenged her even if she went down at the same time. Side note, her last word being the affectionate "Chickens..." Broke me.

Season 5 was a strange beast. In general, it seemed like we were finally getting some answers to the questions that were hanging over us. Exploring the deep mythos. But then they kind of turned it around and made it just be a Wizard of Oz style fraud twist. Westmoreland isn't really inhumanly old, he's a charlatan. I don't know why that was necessary in a science fictional show. I've seen the interviews and I get what they were going for, it just feels like it would have been cooler and far creepier if he was actually that old. The puppet master pulling the strings the whole time. We also finally get some answers for Kira's superhuman healing abilities (though we never learn how she's telepathically connected to the clones) and I'm loving it, but the trouble is, it's inconsistent. Ethan "Why is this guy so popular, he's an asshole" Duncan told Rachel specifically that Sarah being able to have children was a fluke, that the clones were "barren by design." I don't know, the whole concept of Revival and of the "magical island" was really foreboding and tied in with the earlier references to The Island of Doctor Moreau. Especially that song about "Revival's Children" just...the shudders, man. But just having it be a regular old scam is...a letdown. I know it may be more realistic, but I don't always need realism in my scifi. The finale is interesting, in that it's mostly an epilogue. I'm glad the clones (sans Rachel) got to live happily ever after, but there are two gut punches right at the end that are total nitpicks but they bother me. Helena naming her kids after Art and Donnie? And writing a memoir that she names "Orphan Black?" Those two tropes can go die in a hole. They can enjoy an oophorectomy, because I'm so sick of them.

The potential of Orphan Black was practically infinite. The results of Orphan Black fell frustratingly short.

#Orphan Black #Alison Hendrix #Rachel Duncan #Helena Orphan Black #Sarah Manning #Cosima Niehaus #Long Post #Beth Childs #Ramblings #Veera Suominen #Donnie Hendrix #Aldous Leekie #Ethan Duncan #Delphine Cormier #Siobhan Sadler #Clone Club #Arthur Bell #Tatiana Maslany

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chicknparm · 3 years

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1. "Stay here tonight." + 31. "Calm down." Chaseprice

Uhhhhhh went a bit overboard with this one...it’s quite long and there’s some big big CWs for sex, alcohol, and mentions of abuse and suicide. Only felt right for the first Chaseprice scene I write to be extremely dark and angsty. Also gotta give credit to @chaseprice as the preeminent scholar in this field for letting me bounce ideas off of her and graciously editing.

“There...now get your hands off me.” Chloe says as she pushes Victoria’s arm away from her.

“Well that’s a new one,” Victoria scoffs back, catching her breath. “Not in the mood to whine about being held this time?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Chloe says coldly.

Victoria watches her walk over to the mini fridge she keeps under the desk. Chloe reaches inside the freezer compartment and pulls out the bottle of Vodka that permanently occupies it. She unscrews the cap and takes a large swig, furrowing her face as she does so.

“What the fuck is your problem, Price? Do you have any idea how expensive Grey Goose is in this dump? Put that shit back right now.” She scolds. Chloe turns back at her.

“What are you going to do about it.” Chloe says, monotone and disinterested.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You of all people can’t pull this tough guy shit. What do you think I’m going to want to put you in your place and pounce on you or something? That’s not how this works, you’re not worth my energy. You come over, I cum, you cry, you leave. That’s how this works.”

“You think I want you to touch me right now?” Chloe says, raising her eyebrows.

Clearly Chloe isn’t expecting, or doesn’t care to listen to, an answer, as she takes another large swig of Victoria’s Vodka and sets it down, still uncapped, on her desk. She grabs her tank top that was tossed over a chair and nonchalantly puts it on. Usually during this stage Victoria can’t help herself but to sneak a couple more glances at Chloe’s chest, but it’s becoming clear this isn’t some ploy to keep her turned on.

Chloe is always moody after sex, but not like this. Normally, she just has a breakdown and embarrasses herself with a flood of tears, and the words never cross either of their lips, but it’s understood who and what she’s crying over. Victoria likes it when Chloe is aggressive, a little angry, that’s kind of the whole deal, but this is different.

“I think you want someone to touch you.” Victoria says with a cruel smirk, having found her angle.

“Who?”

“Wow, you really are a masochist huh?” Victoria smugly looks at Chloe, if Chloe wants to play with fire let her get burned. “ Rachel. Rachel Amber. Your fucking angel dream girl whatever the fuck. You know, the one who left? The one who disappeared without a word?”

“Yeah. I do. You do too though.” Chloe grabs the vodka again and takes another swig.

“You’re going to be so fucking trashed, Price, you already stank of cheap beer when you got here. If you throw up in my dorm I’ll make sure you never step foot on this campus again. But, anyway, what the fuck are you getting at?”

“You wish she was here too. You miss her touching you too.” Chloe says, starting to raise her voice. Several shots worth of vodka seem to be catching up to her now. “Whole fucking school knows you two hooked up. Whole school knows what you are, Vic.”

“You’re such a cunt.” Victoria bites back. She shouldn’t lose her cool though, she can’t give up control like that. “Well if you know that, then I guess you should also know that she fucks better than you do.”

“I know exactly how she fucks. You think I care about your stupid fuckin, fuckin dick measuring contest?” Chloe sloppily screws the cap back on the Vodka and slams it back into the freezer. She starts fumbling with her pockets. “Where’d I put my keys.”

“No,” Victoria says, much more softly than she intended, “go walk home, you’re not driving anywhere like this except headfirst into traffic.”

“Put some clothes on, you’re embarrassing yourself.” Chloe says, continuing her search.

Victoria hadn’t even thought about the fact that she was still naked. Duly embarrassed, she grabs some shorts and a tank top of her own as nonchalantly as she can so as not to give Chloe any satisfaction. Vic looks over and sees her still searching around the dorm room, illuminated only by the moonlight through her window.

Victoria doesn’t care about her. She’s just a sex toy, a dirty one at that, but this still doesn’t feel right.

“Knock it off, Price, seriously, go catch a bus with the rest of the drunks.”

“What the fuck do you care?! Stop acting like you give a shit!” Chloe finally snaps.

This is also new. The way Chloe is looking over at her, looking down at her, is different from all the times she’s hate-fucked her. Usually all it takes is some comments about her being poor, being pathetic, being lonely, that get her to hold Victoria down and be rough with her, just as she likes it. But there’s not an ounce of lust in her eyes tonight. Not an ounce of desire, just hate. Can’t be far from breaking her now.

“I don’t. Go get turned to paste like your dad for all I care.”

That does the trick. Chloe stomps her way over to Victoria’s bed and screams in her face. “Don’t you ever fucking say a word about him!” She grabs Victoria by the chin, with more force than she’s ever touched her before. “Not one fucking word!”

Victoria doesn’t flinch. She barely blinks. She doesn’t know how to react. Chloe lets go of her face and steps away, her own mouth agape in shock.

“I-I…” Chloe starts, but falls to her knees and starts to sob.

“Calm down…” Victoria tries to maintain her detached tone but it’s not working. Chloe has never snapped like this. Never even come close to getting physical (in a way Victoria didn’t explicitly want). But she’s never hit Chloe below the belt the way she did just now either. Victoria obviously wanted a reaction, but she didn’t want this. Or, maybe she did want it, and what does that say about her? After what happened last semester she’d been trying to save that extra level of cruelty only for herself. But Chloe’s always been the exception. And now she’s seeing the result.

“Price, you’ve gotta...come on just…” Victoria stumbles over her words as Chloe continues to sob on the floor, “Chloe. Don’t do this.”

“I’m a fucking monster!” Chloe cries into her hands.

“You’re not, no, you’re not a monster. You’re a lot of things, but you’re not a monster.” Victoria’s voice is softening, almost against her will. Used to be Victoria could make girls cry without a second thought. Or if she did feel a pang of guilt, she could always drown those feelings later, but this situation is on the verge of danger.

“I am! Get drunk, come over here and hit you, I’m like him...I’m like him and, him and your dad.” Chloe says wiping her face on her arm.

“No. You’re not my dad, and you’re not your step-dad either. They’re the monsters. Neither of them feel anything when they hurt people.”

“I gotta fuckin...gotta…” Chloe slurs, trailing off at the end as she looks across the room and gets up from the floor. She walks over to Victoria’s closet and grabs her jacket from the handle. She fumbles with the pockets but Victoria can hear the jangling of a keychain inside.

“Chloe, no, don’t do this.” Victoria panics, grabbing Chloe by the arm. “Please. Don’t do this, I don’t want you to go out there and kill yourself.” She says through tears of her own.

“Well why didn’t you say that to fuckin Kate Marsh! She didn’t do, fucking anything to you! I deserve this, she didn’t.” Chloe says, looking away from Victoria.

Victoria’s grip tightens on Chloe’s arm. She’s right. Kate didn’t do anything to her. And she kept pushing that girl, and pushing her and pushing her, and now she’s dead.

“No. Chloe, neither of you deserve to fucking die and I can’t let another person do this. Please, stay here tonight.”

Chloe finally looks at her. A mix of fear, anger, and self-loathing shine through her watery eyes in the moonlight. Victoria never saw Kate this close, but she wonders how many times she had that same look in her eyes. Chloe looks at the ground again and pulls to move away from Victoria, but Victoria doesn’t let go. Chloe tries taking a step forward, maybe thinking she could drag Victoria with her, but she loses her balance and falls to the floor. Victoria still holds onto her arm and kneels down next to Chloe, once again sobbing into the floor. Victoria lets out a sigh and finally lets herself feel just how much she’s been shaking. She will have to push Chloe out of the door as soon as she wakes up.

Just because Victoria doesn’t have any love for Chloe doesn’t mean she wants to see her dead. Every other night from here on out she’ll be her own problem, but at least she’s safe. For now. Victoria reaches over and pulls a pillow and quilt off of her couch, properly setting Chloe up for the night. She’ll have to get up to get her a bucket soon, just in case. It’s a while before she lets go of her arm.

#chaseprice #explosionshark #mmmmbestie #thanks again for helping me with this morv #will have to write these two again sometime...maybe as part of cusp...eyes emoji #prompts

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wellamarke · 4 years

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Alright. This is going to be shorter than I planned because I keep tying myself in knots over the very first shot, but I'm going to skip straight to my main point about the Dashing White Sergeant, which is this:

Nobody gets to dance with the person opposite them in the circle.

That is not how the dance works. In DWS, you dance with two people: the ones either side of you, in your row of 3. Yes, to be fair, you join hands and walk back and forth to meet your opposite person, but that person never gets your hand. So, how, pray, do we get this:

AND this:

Well, it's because, in what is arguably his boldest move since 'carrots', Gilbert breaks the set and spins Anne over to his side:

When what they're supposed to have done is this:

ie. Diana, Gilbert and Jane should have performed a straight swap with Caleb, Anne and Charlie. That twirl? Does not exist in the Dashing White Sergeant.

This absolute... opportunist, sees his moment and risks throwing the whole dance just to get to hold Anne's hand. I'm so proud.

The first time they come into the centre he's all smirky, because yes, being face-to-face is fun and an excellent twist on their usual head-to-head. But that's not enough, he wants to dance with her. He's going to get his hand-hold after 3 years of waiting for it, damn it all.

(I know, I know, I'm coming late even to the Netflix release and I've missed the intense week-long dissection of the scene by literal months, so obviously all this has been said. But it's NEW TO ME and I haven't seen the text posts so I'm going to still talk about it).

There is so much metaphorical resonance here.

The two positions (beside and opposite) are supposed to be irreconcilable in the dance. Anne and Gilbert are two people who so often oppose each other but, when it comes to things that really matter, they are on the same side. Likewise, the parts of the dance they spend opposite each other are fleeting, and for the main section, they are on the same side.

Both Anne and Gilbert are the center dancers of their row (the center is the only person who dances throughout - all 4 corner dancers wait out certain bars). This mirrors how both of them have their own storylines, concerns, goals etc in the show. But when Gilbert breaks the set, positioning Anne as to his choosing, he doesn't make her a corner dancer. Instead, she becomes the center dancer of his line. What an interesting fact about the axis on which Planet Gilbert spins.

Even when they're part of the same row, things aren't straightforward: there's a third person involved. In real life it's Winnie; in the dance it's Charlie. Gilbert watches Anne with Charlie and has to wait out the bar. Anne will have to do the same with Winnie.

At the end of the dance - literally in the last few bars - he returns Anne to her original position. In practical terms, this means Mrs Lynde doesn't have anything to complain about, as there's no evidence by the end that the set was ever broken. In sneaky terms, it means he gets to finish the dance face-to-face making eyes with Anne, and not Jane or Diana. In heartbreaking terms, it foreshadows how (at least for now) the discoveries made during the dance aren't going to change their relationship, as everything goes 'back to normal' on the outside. In romantic terms, it could be seen as Gilbert saying: "I want you by my side, but in the end, I'll put you before myself" (in the sense that 'before' can also mean 'in front of').

Breaking the set ought to have thrown everything off - if nobody else moves, Gilbert has put Anne next to Diana, so the boy-girl-boy-girl pattern is lost. The fact that the dance is able to continue means that others have moved to compensate. Crucially, one of them is Diana, who is best placed to perform damage control as it's her spot Anne's moved into -– foreshadowing her manoeuvring the situation on the train and saving the day! But it's not just Diana: everyone in the set will have noticed the shift – mirroring how the whole of Avonlea are basically aware of how these two feel about each other before they are.

Or, in more mathematical terms, the other 4 people in the set, shifting to make way for Shirbert, represent the 4 people with the most to say about Shirbert: Jane plays Winnie (telling Anne she isn't engaged to Gilbert; this parallel works weirdly well since Jane and Gilbert are seen dancing together, and Jane's traditional values mirror Winnie's 'expectations') Diana plays herself (being the person best placed to call Gilbert out the train journey, and being the person best placed to compensate in the dance itself, since Anne's in her spot. Damn, she even does the callout opposite him in a train carriage, a position usually held by Anne). Charlie plays Cole (telling Anne about Gilbert's crush; interesting, then, that Charlie's got a crush on Anne) and Caleb Lynde plays Bash (knowing about Shirbert before so much as meeting Anne; and would you LOOK at that, I was about to say I can't find a link between Caleb and Bash, but the link is MISS STACY!)

Most dancers look in the direction they are skipping in for the circle part of the dance: Gilbert and Anne look dead across at each other before the swap, and then after the swap:

...yeah, they're looking at each other the whole time, even for the direction change - which means that one of them is always skipping 'backwards' (sideways, but against the direction they're facing, led by the other). If that ain't a metaphor for trust, I don't know what is. Also, they will each be the backwards-facer for the same amount of steps, and if that ain't a metaphor for compromise... you get what I'm saying.

I will probably think of a few more resonances after posting this, and yes, I know that I'm reaching on some of it, but even without all that symbolism, you HAVE to hand it to Gilbert. As far as he knows this might be the only time he'll ever get to dance with Anne, so he's going to make the most of EVERY SECOND, and dance more with her in that one rehearsal than any other couple in the room have managed in two.

Something else I like, as well, is that he knows the format of the dance from watching the initial demonstration - so he COULD have tried the spin in the first run-through. But he doesn't do it until he gets the vibe from their first face-to-face that Anne, maybe... isn't opposed to dancing with him. (Also, he waits 'til he's invalided Moody out of the running, freeing his buddy up to give them some nice twinkly backing music... Gosh, Gilbert, how far back does your web of cunning go?!)

Just as a parting shot, I'll point out that Miss Stacy is the one who pushes Gilbert (nonsensically) to the other side of the room, where Anne ends up. I say nonsensically because at the beginning they're standing like this:

with Gilbert being the ONLY boy on the right hand side of the room, so no way should he be moving across. What actually needs to happen is that two boys from the left should go to join him. Gilbert should have stayed put. But no, Miss Stacy wants him over there:

She ships it, y'all.

Gilbert then stands for a bit in the middle of the room, foreshadowing his indecision/being torn between two options later on:

Look at him, stroking his chin, all confused! Thankfully, Mrs Lynde is there to park him firmly on the left side of the room, ensuring proximity to Anne. Thanks, Rachel. Thanks, Ms Stacy.

And most of all, thanks to whoever choreographed this scene! It took me so long to get a comprehensive look at Gilbert's actions because I kept getting distracted by everything else that's going on: Ruby, Tillie and Jane are all wonderful too, and let's not forget Moody and Charlie partnering each other just before Mrs Lynde yells 'stop'. Wonderful. Perfect scene is perfect.

#awae #anne with an e #shirbert #gilbert blythe #anne shirley cuthbert #gosh this got very long #meta #awae meta

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renatogpadilla · 3 years

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FFVI as a D&D Campaign:

OK, so I've been watching "Critical Role" (Campaign 1, Episode 31, no spoilers!) a LOT lately and it got me thinking how FFVI (arguably the BEST "Final Fantasy" game out there) is essentialy that. The biggest moments could be atributted to CRAZY rolls! I can see each of the characters being played by one of the people at the table! * Marisha as Terra Branford: Would be phenomenal. Her mentality is kinda in-line with Keyleth's. The "Kill Their Own Emotions" moment in the boat shakes the table as a whole. And when it's time to run an orphanage and protect her kids from Humbaba, the emotion in her voice destroys everyone in the Party. The "Mama?" moment becomes the most fan-arted moment for her character until the final fight. Her Trance ability is agreed to be the coolest looking skill at the table. To say nothing of the way she'd react to the whole Slave Crown bussiness!

Matt: "She killed 50 imperial soldiers in a few minutes." Marisha, and the whole table: *S H A K I N G*

* Taliesin as Locke Cole: "Treasure Hunter!" every single time somebody calls him a thief or a rogue. The "Rachel" story would be absolutely heartbreaking with Taliesin's expressions. The solo-sneak through the town while meeting Celes would be one of the highlights of the Campaign... That and his frienship with Terra would only be accentuated by Taliesin's and Marisha's irl friendship. Not to mention him puking on the ship would serve as some comedic timing straight out of "Critical Role"! Also, "That bow looks good on you" LAUNCHES the ship to heights undreamt of.

* Sam as Edgar Figaro: I mean, COME ON! IT WRITES ITSELF! Besides, it would be enjoyable to see him use his -Artificer- Machinist abilities as creatively as he does! Can you IMAGINE him rolling high enough one day and then he just creates the Noiseblaster? And with that he pulls out the microphone every time he uses it and proceeds to shout some thing Scanlan would be proud of... Not to mention his friendship with Sabin would be amazing if played by Sam! "The little shrimp has become a mighty Lobster!" You can HEAR Sam Riegel's voice come out of that! And the two headed coin? Now THAT's a Scanlan! This without mentioning the violations of the Geneva Convention that the Bioblaster would certainly entail...

* Laura as Celes Chere: I mean, OBVIOUSLY. Meeting Locke in the dungeon? The apparent betrayal? THE OPERA HOUSE?! "I'm a former General, not some... Opera floozy!" TELL ME you don't hear Laura Bailey saying that! And then she rolls a Natural 20 on performance and EVERYONE looses their shit! Her Runic ability is the target of MANY close saves. Also, the way Locke and Celes' interactions happen, she'd be perfect opposite Taliesin. The chat on the bridge in Albrook? HEARTSTOPPING. The attempted suicide? You KNOW Matt would call the sesion there!

* Travis as Sabin Figaro: This one was obvious. Monk/Barb that gets mistaken for a bear, and acts like an absolute teddy bear around Terra? Yes. Gods above, YES. "You think a tiny thing like the end of the world was going to be enough to keep me down?" You heard Grog too, right? The moments would be worth MILLIONS. The Opera house and Travis going "Why is everyone singing?" and then getting more and more into it! Him holding up the house for Celes! "MISTER THOU"... But best of all, and probably the single most famous Sabin moment EVER, The Phantom Train:

Matt: The train tracks suddenly lurch to the side. Even after this long and hard-fought battle it seems *chukles* it seems this train isn't letting you get away with your lives. That brings us to you, Travis! Travis, on his 5000 IQ shit: I grapple the train.

Entire Table: ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!?!

Matt: No way in hell are you gonna- You know what? Roll for it. *Picks up dice for the Train* Taliesin: He's dead. He's so fucking dea-

Travis: NATURAL 20.

Entire Table: *Silent disbelief, everyone looks at Matt*.

Matt: *Also in disbelief* ...Rolled a 1.

Entire Table: *Inintelligeble gasping and hyperventilating*

Travis: I'm going to use my last Blitz as Meteor Strike and suplex the Train!

Matt: *Looking at the sheet, knowing damn well what's about to happen* Go ahead and roll for damage...

Travis: *Rolls for damage*

Matt: *Braces for impact* How do you wanna do this?

Entire Table and the Internet: *EXPLODES*

The Fanart keeps coming, even YEARS after the Campaign is done...

* Liam as Setzer Gabbiani: Since he's LITERALY "Mister Steal Your Girl", I think Liam would be PERFECT. Just imagine him getting set up as this suave and smooth rougue who wanted to kidnap a beautiful singer and then gets Laura instead! (Which isn't entirely wrong...) IMAGINE his expresions and his dissapearing under the table laughing as the others barely climb aboard The Blackjack. THE ENTIRE PARTY giving him shit for a low roll on a Wisdom Check (the double-headed coin) and him segwaying that into joining the party, only to find out that he actually knew all along... Priceless. The total and undistilled heartbreak as his ship falls apart, him trying to reach out for Terra and everyone falling on different places. And then meeting Celes a year later and doing the whole Daryll story... Liam would be the one to steal the audience every time he takes the spotlight! Though he would be a little like Percy in the sense that he doesn't get much to do until his arc happens.

"Money, Money, Money!" every time he throws coins to attack, the loaded dice (in character, not at the table?) and the card throws would make him so stylish in a D&D setting I'll be surprised if somebody hasn't done it already.

* Ashley as Relm Arrowny: She takes forever to join because of her constantly being away for filming, but once she's here? HOO BOY, does the fun keep coming! Her paintings coming alive and helping them fight? Her giving Sam shit for Edgar's love life? "Fuddy-Duddy!" becoming A Thing? All of those moments would be hilarious... But probably her most notorious moment comes when they find her a year later, serving a posessed brush, telling her to paint, paint, paint under the Magic House... "Keep painting until I'm complete..." The party snaps her out of it before she finishes the greatest painting she's ever done, her Magnum Opus, and then the painting coming alive prematurely in order to force her to finish... To give her form. And then the Lakshmi boss fight happens... Matt: And with the last of her strength gone, the banshee-like apparition dissipates into mist, and before any of you can react, Relm's magic brush begins to glow, like it had when you first came in here. The glow slowly creeps off the hairs and darts! Off towards the mistified form of it's mistress, enveloping itself into a thicc layer on top of the mist, swirling around... and around and around.

Ashley: Oh god, now what?

Matt: The colors dissipate, and Lakshmi unleashes a terrible wail! *DM monster noises* As it is now joined with this colorful cloud... And it compresses, smaller and smaller... And more solid until it's not mist anymore.

Marisha: *Gets it* ¡WAIT A MINUTE!

Travis: *Exited* ¡OH SHIT, HOLD ON!

Matt: The fog dissipates... And the calm returns to Relm's senses. Ashley you are now holding an innert, ordinary paint brush. However! Floating in the air, you see a crystal with a small glowing core, the particular essence of Life embeded in the middle, Terra you *points at Marisha* feel this and recognize it instantly, as it falls to the ground, and bounces a couple times... A brand new shard of Magicite.

Party: *FERAL LOOTING*

"Lakshmi" becomes the most PAINFUL fanart to make, and it's ALWAYS the one that's valued the most among the fandom.

The rest of the Party (Strago, Umaro, Mog, Cyan, Gau and GoGo) can be the guests that come over every once in a while (I particualrly see Wil Wheaton as Strago Magus, Mary McGlynn as GoGo and Will Friedle as Clyde "Shadow" Arrowny) with Shadow coming and going with the excuse that "His contract is up" (and let's face it, after surviving/witnessing the Phantom Train? My contract would be up too...) and coming back whenever his schedule/the plot allows. Eventually, everyone comes together for one last session and the battle with God Kefka. Setting their affairs in order, the reveal of who Shadow really is during a lone chat with Strago shakes the Critters to their core. Everything makes sense! Why Interceptor went straight to Relm when they met... Why his nightmares kept showing a village of magic users, yet they never mention Shadow in Thamasa! The group is RATTLED and wether or not he survives at the end becomes a HEATED argument between everyone at the table. Only Strago knows the truth...

The sendoff on The Falcon with everyone saying goodbye and seeing what the World will bring next is regarded as one of the most emotional scenes in "Critical Role" history... But the most completely DESTRUCTIVE force in this entire cast is Matt Mercer as Kefka Palazzo:

The personality... the narrative... The absolute slime in his voice when he poisons Doma. When he kills Leo and brings forth the Light of Judgement. Matt definitely has his moments playing Ultros. He's fun! And Emperor Ghestal was more of a political "Darth Sidious" villain. But Kefka? OH, LORD. NOBODY was ready for Kefka. "Enjoy the barbicue!" gets memed to no end, while also sending a horrible shiver down people's spine whenever somebody brings it up. Truly, the villain to end all villains. I can see it happen so vividly... If anybody wants to talk about this more, PLEASE hit me up! This just feels too good! Until off course the party moves on to their next Campaign in the setting for "Final Fantasy 5" but that's a whole OTHER can of worms!

#Critical Role #FFVI #FF6 #Final Fantasy #D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #Critters #CritRole #The Returners #Vox Machina #The Mighty Nein #DM

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angelsfalling16 · 4 years

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Snow and The Flame

For the @coexchange, I gifted @carryonincorrectquotes a playlist with the promise of a fic outline, and I am finally delivering that!

Here is the playlist, and the outline is underneath the cut. I decided to preface this with an explanation about what I did, so bear with me for a moment.

The plan was to give them a playlist with a detailed fic outline, but it turns out that my outlines are incomprehensible unless you’re me (and sometimes even if you’re me) so this became more like a speed run through the fic where I half-rambled, half-narrated it along with explanations about which songs fit where.

There are a ton of songs on here because I thought it would be a good idea to pick songs and then figure out what the fic was going to be about, so each song inspired a different moment, and I had to figure out a way to work them all in. (I actually ended up limiting myself to 25 songs so that this wouldn’t end up being too long.)

I decided to break the outline into sections based off of the songs that each part goes with, and there are a few scenes that I went ahead and wrote, which are shared in italics to try to separate it from the rest. I also included some commentary on why some of the songs were chosen.

Basically, this post got really long but hopefully it isn’t too long or confusing, and I hope you all like it!!

(Also, I know that this isn’t technically a full fic, but since it’s over 6k words, I decided to go ahead and post it on ao3 to make it a little easier to peruse.)

Fic Summary: Simon is a superhero, a part of a group of heroes who protect the city. Baz’s family is a crime family, and they don’t care who they hurt. Baz wants a way out of this life, to get out from under his father’s thumb so that he can make his own choices

Some Background/backstory/world building:

Some people are born with powers, but they don't come into those powers until they are around 11 years old. When they do get those powers, they receive a token of some sort that symbolizes their power and basically gives them their power. If that token is destroyed, they will lose their powers. Luckily, there are only a few ways to destroy them.

Baz was a child spy who fell in love with the boy he was meant to be targeting, but Simon never even had a clue that he was being watched. Baz was very good at what he did, and while he was growing up with Simon. Simon was all alone, an orphaned child with magickal powers who could make it snow on a dry, summer day and bring cold into places where it was meant to be warm. Baz saw him grow up an outcast, all alone, before becoming a hero as he got older, and he couldn’t help but fall deeply, hopelessly in love.

Murder Song

Alright, so the fic starts out with a scene that was inspired by the song Murder song (5, 4, 3, 2, 1) by AURORA. This is one of the scenes that I went ahead and wrote, and yes, it is very angsty, but the entire fic is not like this.

Baz

“You don’t have to do this. You can make a different choice. Killing me isn’t the only option.”

“No, but it is the fun one.” His grin is dark and menacing, and I want to turn and run. But run where? My whole world is right here, his hand to my heart, ready to fill it with ice.

Simon finally caught me, and I am so tired of fighting that I’m ready to just give up.

He removes his hand from my chest, and for a moment, I believe that he has changed his mind about killing me, but then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun, pointing it at my head.

This is it. This is the end.

5...

He’s holding a gun to my head, and he starts to count down. He’s giving me a literal countdown to the moment that he’s going to pull the trigger and end my life. I should be fighting. I should be doing everything in my power to stop him, but all of the fight has gone out of me. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.

I have no reason to fight anyway. This is what I deserve. I have hurt too many people during my time on this earth to be given a kinder death. This is already too kind of one.

I deserve to be tortured to within an inch of my life and then be tortured again. I do not deserve a seemingly painless death.

4...

Simon is doing me a service here actually. He could be using his powers to choke all of the life and heat and from my body, slowly draining me of everything that I am, but instead, he’s holding a gun to my head, tears streaming down his face as he stares down at me where I kneel on the ground.

He’s doing it for mercy. He is putting an end to everything that I have suffered for far too long now. He is doing exactly what I want him to.

Still, as I look up at the man that I have loved for so long, my heart shatters in my chest, piercing my body with a spiking pain.

3...

I know that he doesn’t want to hurt me. He’s doing this for me. He’s taking my pain away. He’s drawing it from my body to his with the simple press of a trigger.

Tears burn my eyes, but they aren’t tears of sadness. They’re tears of relief. My pain will be gone in a mere two seconds. It is finally my time to let go, to let the weight of everything wash away as the blanket of death covers me and soothes me into a deep sleep.

2…

The sound of this number brings a facsimile of a smile to my face. I am so close to letting go of all of my pain. I am almost free. Soon, I will feel no more pain. I won’t feel anything anymore, but nothing has got to be better than this vice grip around my chest, suffocating me daily but never taking enough of me to kill me.

I just want to be free. I just want to be able to breathe.

I don’t want to worry about disappointing my family or anyone else.

1...

I have to close my eyes as he gets to 1. I can’t look at him as he does this.

With the second that I have left, I imagine him holding my lifeless body in his arms and crying over my death. The one he delivered but didn’t cause. I imagine for just a moment him caring for me the way that I always hoped he would. I imagine him loving me and mourning the loss of a love he never got to have.

Then, the gun goes off, and I’m gone.

***

I jerk up in bed with a gasping breath, and it takes me a moment to understand what happened.

It was all just a dream, and I’m not sure whether I should be relieved or disappointed. I was so close.

But also in that last moment, as the gun went off, I wondered what would have happened if I had made a different choice. What if I had gone to Simon before it was too late?

I know that he would never help me, but I could turn myself in. At least if I’m locked away, my family can’t force me to hurt anyone anymore. I will be free from them, but I won’t be dead.

I laugh at myself.

Of course I won’t be free. I will never be free from them. They will always come for me. Break me out or kill me for betraying them.

There is no way out of this for me.

Fight Song – Rachel Platten (cover by KHS and Benjamin Kheng) (If you have time, I highly recommend going and watching the youtube video where they recorded this; it’s pretty cool.)

When Baz wakes up and realizes that it was all a dream, he also realizes that he doesn’t want death to be the answer. If it has to be, it will be a last-ditch option, but he wants to try something else. He thinks Simon could help him. Instead of finding Simon and asking him to kill him, he could ask him for help.

He is deciding to take back his life, making a new life for himself and fighting for a better future, which is where Fight Song comes in. Baz has this whole, long moment where he questions whether any of this is a good idea before he decides that it has to be better than the alternative, which would be his family killing him.

He is going against his family in order to chase after a chance at a better future, one where he gets to live and doesn’t have to hurt people anymore. It won’t be an easy journey, but he is willing to try. He wants his life to be different, and this is where it begins.

Worlds Collide – Louden Swain

Asking Simon for help might be the hardest thing that Baz has ever done, but he does it. It isn’t all that hard finding the gang of superheroes running around town trying to save the day (because they never take a day off, do they? Baz thinks with mild disgust, wondering what that must be like, trying to save everyone when there will always be evil in the world), and it’s even easier to get Simon alone. All he has to do is hide in the shadows and then yank him into an alleyway.

Of course, Simon thinks it’s some kind of trap at first. (What else is he supposed to think when someone pulls him into a dark alley? Especially when said person is his archnemesis.)

Why would Baz want to suddenly side with the heroes? That’s just it; he wouldn’t. So, this absolutely has to be a trap, and Simon is not going to fall into it. He is prepared for a fight, but that isn’t what Baz wants. That’s quite the opposite of what he is looking for here.

Baz realizes that he only has a short amount of time to convince Simon that he’s telling the truth before someone comes looking for him.

He gets an idea and slips the chain that he’s worn for as long as he can remember from around his neck. It’s the token/source of his power. Simon could easily destroy it, therefore taking away Baz’s power, but Baz trusts him. (Simon is the good guy after all.) He’s still worried, though, because the last person you should give your power token to is your rival, whose one goal in life is to stop you at any cost.

If you’re going to give your token to anyone, it should be the person you love, which Baz supposes Simon fits that bill, too. Baz hates himself for it, but he fell in love with the one person his family has been training him to kill for pretty much his entire life.

Baz has a sick feeling in his stomach as he watches Simon slip the chain around his neck. It clanks against Simon’s own power token, which has been woven into his suit and sits just over his chest. Baz thinks that that’s a rather foolish place to wear it, out in the open where any criminal could easily access it while battling him, because if someone had the right weapon (which Baz’s family does, coincidentally), they could easily hit Simon there and take his powers away from him.

Simon sees Baz eye the two tokens, and he worries for a moment that he might change his mind and make a grab for the both of them, but then his eyes find Simon’s face again.

They then agree to stop fighting each other, and they make an uneasy truce with Baz swearing that he won’t try to hurt Simon – or anyone else – so long as they are working together, and they decide to meet up at a diner in town the next day to talk.

Baz is antsy the entire time, constantly looking over his shoulder, afraid that he might have been followed. Meeting in such a public place probably wasn’t a good idea, but Simon didn’t really give him much of a choice on venues.

They start to talk, and it’s weird how easily they slip into the moment together, their two very different worlds colliding.

It’s almost like in another world, they might have gotten along.

They spend most of their time with Baz explaining to Simon why he wants to leave his family and promising half a dozen more times that he doesn’t plan to turn on him.

When they leave, Simon says that they should meet up again in a few days, so they do, and they continue meeting for a couple of weeks, but eventually, Baz says that they can’t keep meeting up in public like this. Someone from his family might spot them together, and he’ll be in trouble. Or Simon will. Or both. Either way, they cannot be spotted together.

He suggests that they meet up at Simon’s place since Baz is staying with his family, but of course, Simon says absolutely not. He still doesn’t fully trust Baz yet.

Fortunately, Simon knows a place they can go where no one in Baz’s posh family would ever deign to step foot in.

A Place For Us – Fitz and the Tantrums & Dancing’s Not a Crime – P!ATD

So, there’s some seedy, underground club, and why Simon knows about it, I have no idea. They go there to talk, and for whatever reason, one of them (probably Baz) decides that they would be less likely to be overheard if they went out on the dancefloor and danced together.

Simon is hesitant at first, but Baz turns on that bit of wicked charm and holds his hand out to him, an obvious challenge.

“Come on. Dancing’s not a crime, and it’s not like I’m going to hurt you in front of all these people. Plus, I told you that I wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t realize that this truce included dancing.”

“It does when you don’t want to stand out. You won’t touch any kind of drink, and you won’t dance. You stick out like a sore thumb, and sooner or later someone is going to notice you – and not in a good way.”

Simon chews on his lips as he thinks about it. Finally, he sighs and carefully places his hand in Baz’s, whose expression turns even more wicked, edging towards a smirk, but Simon doesn’t have too much time to think about it before he’s being pulled towards the dancefloor.

Simon tries to keep up a conversation as they dance, but it doesn’t go all that well. The music is too loud, there are too many bodies pressing in around them, Baz doesn’t actually seem all that interested in talking.

Finally, Simon gives in and just dances with Baz, giving into the music and enjoying himself without any worries for the first time since he can remember. It ends up being really nice to dance together.

Quarter Past Midnight - Bastille & Criminal - Britney Spears & Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows & First Time He Kissed a Boy - Kadie Elder & Weak - AJR

The club closes at midnight. Neither of them wants to part (even though they don’t actually say that aloud) so they just walk around, weaving around abandoned buildings until they reach the empty streets of downtown. At some point they start running, and they’re laughing and having fun, just enjoying themselves.

After a while, they start to slow, and Baz pulls Simon into another alley, the way he did a couple of weeks ago.

The last time this happened, Simon wondered what he was supposed to expect when he gets pulled into a dark alley by his rival, but this time, he knows exactly what he wants to happen, and it is him who pushes Baz into the wall this time.

But he stops there, with a few mere inches between them, and Simon is silently frustrated.

They stare at each other for a long time before Simon finally kisses Baz.

Then, Simon has a realization about his feelings, which is what the next three songs are about. (and then Weak is a song thrown in to describe how Baz is probably feeling and an allusion to that line in the book when he says he’s weak.) Simon was absolutely not supposed to fall in love with a criminal. He wonders how long he’s felt this way and if he somehow fell deeply for him over the past couple of weeks.

There are a lot of songs for this short scene, but I feel like there is a lot going on with Simon internally. He’s in love and freaking out and kissing a boy for the first time (a very criminal-like boy) and there are so many thoughts circling through his mind that he can’t quite grab onto any particular one to think through it, so he ends up pushing all of the thoughts away and just enjoying kissing Baz.

And then here’s a little moment that I wrote:

Baz

It feels like we’re running, but running from what? Everything? Or nothing? Maybe we just feel free. I do, at least. This is the freest that I have felt in a long time. The most carefree, too.

I’m laughing as we run down street after street, under broken streetlamp after broken streetlamp. I don’t know where we’re going or why we’re running, and I’m too afraid to ask because I don’t want to break the moment.

I don’t want to give Simon a reminder of who I am or why he doesn’t like me, so I just run down the empty streets with him, watching his smile and bouncing curls, pretending for a moment like my life is different.

Like I wasn’t raised to be a villain and like my father isn’t one of the most wanted criminals around. For now, I get to pretend like I grew up normal, with no powers and no bizarre family expectations. I can pretend, just for a little while, that I’m just a guy, not a villain, not a monster.

Human - Christina Perri

A day or two after the kiss with Simon, Baz decides that it’s time to tell his family about his choice to leave. He knows that his father will not take it well, so he’s relieved when it’s just Daphne at home.

He explains to her his plan to leave all of this criminal business behind, and he says that she should leave it behind as well. She seems open to the idea, but she also seems afraid. Baz is sure that she had no idea what she was marrying into when she met Malcolm and agreed to be his partner, and she probably feels just as trapped as he does.

Baz wants her to stand beside him, but she won’t – she has the kids to worry about and her own life. Baz gets it, but he wishes that there was another way.

He wants his half-siblings to know that there is a choice – they don’t have to be evil. It might be too late for Mordelia – they’re already turning her into a child soldier, the same way they did to him when he was younger – but he can at least try to help the other three kids. He doesn’t want them to end up the way he did, trapped with no way out.

He won’t force Daphne to do something that she is uncomfortable with, so he leaves for now, planning to figure out a way to get them out. He wants them all to have a choice.

Baz goes to talk to Fiona next, and he’s surprised to find his father there.

Apparently, the two of them have a task for him. They’re always giving Baz “tasks”. A bank to rob, a restaurant to terrorize, but the one they give him this time is the one that he has been dreading for years.

They tell him that it is time for him to find the Snow Prince and put an end to him.

Baz wants to laugh, but he also wants to be sick. If only they knew that Baz had been with him just the other night, had the perfect opportunity to kill him, but he let himself be kissed and held and loved instead. Even though he knew that it might turn out to all be a mistake. Even if Simon probably woke up the next morning with a heart full of regret, wishing that he could take back everything that he said and everything he did that night.

Even if Simon does regret that night, Baz will never be able to kill him.

Still, he knows he won’t be able to change their minds, so he agrees, knowing full well that he won’t go through with it.

At this point, he should just try running away. Maybe Simon will go with him. That way, Baz might be able to keep him away from his family. Just because Baz leaves, doesn’t mean that his family will suddenly stop going after Simon. They will be after the both of them, and if they’re together, maybe Baz will be able to protect Simon, or put himself between Simon and his family when it is time for them to battle.

At the end of all of this, Baz knows he won’t survive, but maybe, just maybe, he can keep Simon safe.

The song fits in with Baz’s internal thoughts/angst. He’s torn between that old desire to please his family and the new desire for a better life. He wishes he could somehow do both, but he’s only human and can only do so much.

The Greatest - Sia

Baz leaves immediately to go warn Simon about what his family has planned and to ask him to run away with him, but what he doesn’t know is that it was a set-up. His father and aunt followed him there, and they’re prepared for a fight.

Baz

“So, your cousin was right,” my father says. “He said he saw you leaving some seedy club the other night with the Snow Prince, but I told him he must be mistaken.”

“Dev,” I hiss. Simon was wrong.

There is one person in my family who doesn’t care about their reputation, so of course he would know about that place. I bet he was going there to meet up with Niall. Did he tell our family that? Probably not, because he knows what they do to people who aren’t like us, who don’t have our kinds of power, who are powerless. They don’t want anyone marrying or dating or sleeping their way into our family. They would likely kill him, or at least make him “mysteriously disappear”.

“I didn’t want to believe him, but here’s the proof. My own son, a betrayer of his family.”

Fiona sneers but stays silent.

I can’t believe that I led them here to Simon. I can’t believe that I put him in danger when all I wanted was to keep him safe.

I look around, trying to find a way out, a way to get Simon out of danger.

There aren’t a lot of ways out of here, and running won’t fix this, but it’s the only option right now.

“Run,” I shout, grabbing Simon’s hand and pulling him after me.

We run out of his apartment and disappear into the night, hand in hand.

This won’t be the end of my father and aunt coming after us. There will be a battle, very soon, and we have to be prepared.

Crazy Youngsters - Ester Dean, Into the Storm - BANNERS, Someone to You - BANNERS

Simon and Baz join with Penny and the other superheroes and begin planning what they’re going to do. A battle is coming, and unless they all work together, there is no chance of them winning.

Baz tries to go the self-sacrificial route and offers to just turn himself in so that none of them will have to fight, but they aren’t having it. They are all too focused on saving others for their own good. Baz thinks that they would all benefit from finding some sense of self-preservation.

They don’t seem to need Baz’s help. They work like a well-oiled machine as they make a battle plan, and Baz is on the outside of that. He begins to feel like he’s getting in the way, so he starts to walk around, taking in their little home base.

Simon follows him not long after, and this is the first time that they have really gotten a chance to talk since the other night, since they kissed.

Baz once again offers him an out, telling him that he’ll be safer if he isn’t trying to fight Baz’s battles for him. Simon won’t hear any of it, though. He’s going to fight, and Baz can’t stop him.

Then, they have a soft moment. They are fighting for each other, to keep each other safe. Neither of them wants to see the other get hurt, and they would do anything to protect each other.

Simon and Baz get their own BANNERS songs to go with how they’re feeling in this section.

Into the Storm is for Simon because he’s telling Baz that he would do anything, weather any kind of storm, for him. He would do anything for him. If his world is falling apart (which it is) he will be there, and he will follow him into the storm. (Just listen to the words and it gives you what Simon is trying to say to him.)

And then, Someone to You is Baz’s song. He just wants to mean something to someone, especially if that someone is Simon. He wants to be more than a weapon, wants his life to mean more than that. He doesn’t want to die, and he doesn’t want his life to be meaningless. He believes that Simon could lead him to a better life, one where his life will mean something.

Fight Song - Rachel Platten (a repeat because Baz is once again choosing to fight), I Want to Break Free - Queen, Whatever It Takes - Imagine Dragons, Believer - Imagine Dragons, Titanium - David Guetta ft. Sia (cover by Madilyn Bailey), Elastic Heart - Sia, Angel with a Shotgun - The Cab,

[a/n: my brain kept saying “fight scene, fight scene” even though I don’t think I have ever written a fight scene before, which is why this section is a bit lacking in content, and then all of these songs said that they wanted to be included, so that’s why there are so many for this small section. (If you want to skip over these songs, I won’t blame you, but I feel it’s important to at least listen to Angel with a Shotgun before moving on because it sort of sets up the feeling for the next part.)]

They all meet somewhere for the big fight, and at first, it seems like a pretty evenly matched fight, but bit by bit, Baz’s family starts to win. They’re stronger and better trained. They have been fighting their entire lives and don’t care about who gets hurt.

Baz can see that they’re losing, and he tries to figure out a way for them to win or to get everyone out of here safely.

And then we come to the turning point of the fight…

How to Save a Life - The Fray (Okay, so, I put on a random Spotify playlist to try to get myself to focus on this outline, and when this song played, I knew that it was exactly what I needed for this scene. Otherwise, I was just going to leave this part song-less which would have been rather unfortunate because it really needed something.)

And I actually wrote this entire scene:

Baz

We’re losing.

I know it was a long shot to think that a ragtag team of heroes would be able to fight my criminal family and win, but I wanted to believe that we could do it.

Simon is facing off against my aunt, and there is a serious burn on one of his arms. I want to run to him, to stand between him and my aunt - between him and any kind of harm - but I am just barely making it through this battle against my father.

You would think that the plants that he keeps growing to impede me would be useless against my flames, but there is a vine of thorns wrapped around my arm, constricting tighter and tighter, restricting any blood flow. It’s unrooted but still growing.

My arm is beginning to lose feeling, and between the pain from that and the pain from the poison one of his earlier plants hit me with, I can barely control the flames that I’m shooting out at him with my free hand.

The thorny vines reach my hand, sinking a particularly large one into the palm, and I have to grit my teeth to keep in an anguished cry. I will fight to the very last moment. I will not give up or give in.

My father will have to kill me if he wants to stop fighting me.

And it looks like he plans to do just that.

He calls up more vines from the ground to start wrapping around my legs and pulling them together so that I am unable to move. I reach down, calling a flame into my hand, and attempt to burn the vines away, but my power is waning and the small flame that I just manage to draw is not enough.

I’m too weak. I’m going to lose this.

“Give it up, son,” my father says, stepping closer to me.

“Never,” I hiss, and with one last burst of power, I shoot a stream of fire at him.

His sleeve catches fire, but he barely even winces before a heavy rain falls down upon him, just long enough to put out the fire. I can’t see my cousin, but I know that he must be nearby, fighting someone whilst also combating my other move for my father.

The vines have reached my hips now. I can’t move, and I don’t have enough energy to use my power.

With a wicked grin, my father steps forward and reaches out his hand, preparing to press it to my chest and send out his signature venomous plant to take hold and poison me, a slow, painful death. I bare my teeth at him, yanking at the vines that are creeping up my body and completely immobilizing me.

His hand has just about reached my chest when someone throws themself in front of me, obstructing his attack.

“Stop!” My step-mom shouts, and her voice rings out across the battlefield, cutting through the flames and wild wind. Through the snowfall and earth shakes that I had grown used to by this point.

Everyone stops where they are and turns to stare at her.

She wasn’t here before. Her powers are healing and protective in nature. I was sure that she was with the younger children, keeping them away from the battle to end all battles. But here she is now: standing between her husband and stepson.

“Stop fighting,” she says, her words directed at my father.

“Move out of the way. This does not concern you.”

“It absolutely does concern me. If you mean to kill my son, then it is my responsibility to stop you.”

Tears spring to my eyes, and I am uncertain whether it’s from the pain or from her words. She has never called me her son before. I always thought that she saw me as the child she had to put up with and never wanted. I thought she cared for her own children more than she ever would with me.

I was wrong, though, because she is right here, putting herself in harm’s way to protect me.

“If you plan to hurt him, you will have to go through me,” she says, taking up a protective stance in front of me, and I think she means it. She would sacrifice herself to protect me, the same way that I was ready to do for Simon a moment ago.

I feel something wet drip down my face, and I am unsure whether it is blood or tears. I’m starting to feel woozy now. It wouldn’t take much more at this point to end me. It would almost be a kindness.

And now, we have come full-circle. Would it be better to suffer through the pain of my family’s hatred and murderous attacks or to just die now and have it all be over?

I don’t care which one seems better, though.

I only care about what I want. And what I want is a future. A future with Simon and a future away from all of this violence. Which is why I came here to fight today. I came to fight for a future, and now Daphne is helping me fight for that future as well.

“Tell everyone to stand down,” she says. “We shouldn’t be fighting our own family. He is your son for merlin’s sake. That should mean something to you.”

“He stopped being my son the moment he decided to hang out with heroes.”

Even though I knew this would be the case, it hurts to hear him actually say it. In this moment, he is announcing to me and to everyone else that I no longer have a home, that I no longer have a family. I am completely alone.

I glance behind me and am reminded that I am not actually completely alone. Simon and the others may not be related to me by blood, and I may not have known them all for long, but in standing beside me in all of this, they have become my second family. They care more for my safety than my real family does at least.

I am several inches taller than Daphne, so I have a clear view of my father’s expression. He is obviously torn, unsure whether to continue trying to kill me, killing his wife in the process, or let me go, let the family traitor run free.

For a moment, I think that he might actually kill Daphne. There is murder in his eyes, and no one can stop him. But then his stance relaxes and he lowers his hand before signaling to the others to retreat.

The three of us continue to stand there, at the center of a burning battlefield until they have all disappeared back into the woods.

“Go,” Daphne commands, and Malcolm does, giving me one last look before turning away.

Daphne waits until he has disappeared into the trees and still a moment longer before she turns to me.

She looks me up and down, watching as the vines slowly release me. I can’t tell if that helps or worsens the pain, but at least I’m safe for now.

It’s hard to meet Daphne’s eyes because when I do, I can see her pain written so clearly there. She is still torn, but she made a choice today, one that gives me hope.

“I’m sorry, but I think you have to leave,” she says quietly. “I bought you some time, but I don’t think he’s going to give up forever.”

I nod in understanding. I knew from the beginning that this is how it would end, me being shunned from my family. At least maybe I will have the chance at finally being free of them.

I am just about to turn away from her and join the others, but I hesitate before stepping forward and wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. She hugs me back, and I can feel her power washing over me like a warm blanket.

She’s healing all of my wounds. Wiping away the already-forming bruises and closing up the cuts and puncture wounds from the thorns. She wipes away all of the pain, all of it except the ache in my chest.

I whisper a hoarse thank you that isn’t possibly enough, but it’s all that I have. She risked her life to save me, and I will never be able to repay her.

When we pull away, her eyes are wet, but she wears a small smile.

“I’m happy that you’re safe. I love you.”

“I love you, too, mom.”

I’ve never called her that before. I thought it might be crossing a line, but now I can see that she was there for me all along, even during those times when I thought I was alone. She mothered a child she didn’t have to, a child who was not her own, a child who should have been more grateful.

I feel a wetness stream down my face, and this time, I know for sure that it’s tears.

Today, I gained a future, but I lost my family.

I will miss them, but I know that this is the only choice I have if I want to get through this alive, so with tears in my eyes, I turn to join the others, crossing over to where Simon is and taking his hand.

I don’t turn to watch Daphne leave. It would be too much right now, and I’m not sure that I wouldn’t go running after her.

I will come back someday. I will get Daphne and my siblings out of here, but for now, I am running. I am running to a place where I will hopefully be able to grow stronger and be able to fight my family and win. I may never be able to change the minds of my father and aunt, but I can try to protect the rest of my family.

For now, though, it is time for me to go.

Burn - Ellie Goulding, On Top Of The World - Imagine Dragons

That may be the end of the fighting, but it is not the end of the story yet, nor even the end of their trouble because just as the heroes join together, looking over each other’s injuries, there is the sound of an explosion.

Baz spins around just in time to watch the edge of the trees go up in flames, a fire burning that could threaten to take out the entire patch of woods.

[a/n: I have no idea why the fight takes place here, except that I wanted the fic to end with them standing on a cliff, looking out over the town, with a fire burning behind the, but then the fire gets put out immediately so…]

He has no doubt that it was his aunt’s doing. She warned him after she and Malcolm caught him with Simon that this is how things would end: in flames. (“One day everything will burn, and your friends will turn on you, thinking it was you. Where will you be then? All alone in a world that hunts you.”)

This is her parting gift, a glimpse at the future that she sees for him.

Baz grimaces at it. His aunt knew that he would not be able to put it out himself, and it was her last opportunity to show his new allies that he is of no use to them. It isn’t until this moment that Baz sees the absolute truth of it. Maybe he should just go now, leave them all before anyone can get hurt because of him.

But then Simon squeezes his hand and smiles at him as he says, “It’s alright. I’ve got this. We’re a team now, remember?”

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. They may be opposites in some respects, but that just makes them stronger together, playing off of each other’s strengths to fight whatever is thrown their way.

As Simon puts out the fire, Baz allows himself to feel a bit of relief and even some hope. Maybe there’s a chance for them after all. Yes, they’ll have to start all over, but at least he won’t be constantly worried about being killed.

Standing there triumphant and with Simon standing beside them, Baz can’t help but smile a bit.

He feels like he’s on top of the world. But also like he could reach over and hold the world in my arms.

He finally has everything that he has ever wanted when he never thought he could ever be this happy, never that he could have anything that he wanted.

Baz is so glad that he was wrong. He’s free now, and they can go anywhere. He wonders if Simon has ever traveled before…

***

A/N: And that’s the story. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I would love to hear your thoughts :)

#snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #wayward son #rainbow rowell #snowbaz fic #ish #fic outline #fic ideas #my writing #snow and the flame #coexchange

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winchester-purgatory · 3 years

Text

Summary: Sam finally proposes to Jess

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo

Square Field: Christmas proposal

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Jessica Moore

Word Count: 1703

Warnings: None needed

The alarm went off, blaring and beeping, echoing in their bedroom, stirring Sam from his sleep. He groaned, but didn’t move, still tired.

He and Jess had gone to bed late last night due to an office party at the law firm where he interns. It was kinda boring, most employees being in their forties and up, but Jess was there to make it better - and report about the two employees she caught having a drunken affair on her way to the bathroom. He even had managed to win one of the prizes of the night, a bottle of expensive whiskey, which he'll give to Dean as an additional Christmas present, not being a whiskey drinker.

As tempting as it was to hit snooze, he already hit it two times which meant it was around 10 o'clock.

''Make it stop,'' Jess sleepily complained from behind him, facing the opposite side of the alarm clock. She tried to tug at the comforter in hopes to hide underneath and block the loud noise, but it was hogged by Sam's weight, being a blanket hogger. ‘’Sam!’’

Forcing his eyes open, he reached out to turn the alarm off, making them both sigh in relief. This alarm might do a good job at waking them from a deep sleep, but its sound is damn annoying when it’s a day off.

Sam rolled over and kissed her shoulder tenderly, wrapping his arms around her, not ready to leave the bed yet. The blonde hummed, leaning into her lover's touch. ‘’Five more minutes,’’ she mumbled, eyes still closed.

A chuckle rumbled from Sam’s chest. Okay. Five more minutes.

‘’I’m so glad we got out of hosting the Christmas dinner - again. No need to wake up early and stress with the food or setting everything up,’’ Jess declared, feeling very cosy.

''This apartment is way too small for a Christmas gathering anyway. Where would the guests sit? We don't even have a proper dinner table.''

‘’We could put Cas and Charlie in the living room and Dean and Claudia on the balcony. The patio set should still be there,'' Jess suggested with amusement.

‘’I can already hear him complaining about the snow falling into his beer or that his ass is starting to feel numb from sitting on the metal chairs in the cold.’’ Sam chuckled, imagining the scene perfectly. ‘’It’s better at Dean’s place. He always gets way too drunk and I wouldn’t see Claudia hauling him in the car and to their house. He'd crush her with his dead weight.’’

Although they've been living together for four years, slow mornings like this were rare. Morning where they could sleep in, be lazy in bed and cuddle. They always had to rush to get to class or work - and sometimes even on the weekend on Jess' end, a perk of being a nurse.

Whenever it would happen, they liked to cherish every minute and sometimes even have breakfast in bed. It was a guilty pleasure.

Not today though, as ringtone went off, blaring through the bedroom.

''Ugh, it's mine.'' Jess detached herself from Sam to grab her phone on the right nightstand, checking at the caller ID. ''It's my mother,'' she announced with mild annoyance, a picture of her and her mom at her 40th birthday taking the whole screen as it kept ringing.

Their laughter was cut short when a ringtone went off, blaring through the bedroom.

''Ugh, it's mine.'' Jess detached herself from Sam to grab her phone on the right nightstand, checking at the caller ID. ''It's my mother,'' she announced with mild annoyance, a picture of her and her mom at her 50th birthday taking the whole screen as it kept ringing.

That interruption was the signal that morning cuddles were officially over and they should get started with their day. ‘’I’ll go shower while you talk to her.’’ Sam got up, fetching some clean clothes from the top of the dresser.

''I'll join you if you finish before you,'' Jess said with a smile and a wink before answering her phone. ''Hi, Mom, how's the preparations going? Has Dad started early on the eggnog again?''

Sam looked down and smiled. How did he get so lucky?

When Sam returned to the bedroom, Jess was finished with her call. She had opened the curtains and snow was falling outside, dusting a light coat of white in the streets.

She pouted, seeing him half dressed with a towel over his hair. ‘’Already? I was about to join you.’’

''Sorry... How's your mom?'' he asked while dry toweling his hair.

''She's doing good. She's pretty disappointed we won't be joining them for Christmas this year - again. Plane tickets are just so expensive during this time of the year and, no offense babe, but your car wouldn't last the trip.''

Sam chuckled, throwing the towel in the laundry basket. ''It's okay. I know it's crap. Dean reminds me every single time he sees my car and its damaged bumper.''

''She wishes us a jolly christmas eve...and not-so-subtly asked if she has a wedding to plan.'' Jess huffed a laugh, still hearing the echoes of her mother wondering how they weren't engaged after being together for five years. ''At least she didn't ask if I was pregnant.''

''Maybe she does.''

''What? Sam, I’m not pregnant. I’d know if I were-’’

‘’No! Not that.’’ He shook his head. ‘’The part about planning a wedding.’’

‘’I think you skipped a step here: we need to be engaged first.’’

‘’Let’s do it now.’’

‘’Sam-’’

‘’I'm dead serious, Jess! I've been thinking about it for a couple months already. I even got a ring...''

Jess' eyebrows pulled into a confused frown, trying to process all this new information. ''What?'' she asked, eyes rapidly filling with various emotions.

Sam stood and went to their closet, fetching the old box filled with memories from his years at college from the back, and pulled out the blue velvet box where the ring was perfectly resting. He opened the small box and stared at the dainty, simple band with diamond in the middle and nodded. It's time.

His palms were getting sweaty as he returned to the bed, feeling nervous. He wasn't nervous about Jess possibly saying no. He knew she'd say yes, she already made that clear. It's just that Jess deserved the best and Sam wanted the proposal to be perfect. He was afraid of messing up and getting his on-the-moment speech wrong.

Sensing his nervosity, Jess took his hand and tugged him back on the bed. She looked up at him and smiled, sparkles of joy already in her eyes even though he hadn't popped the question and she hadn't seen the ring yet. The beaming look on her face told him this was the rightest thing he'll ever do. He was gonna marry this girl.

''Jess. Since I got that ring, I kept practicing how to present the question and trying to find the right way to propose, the right moment, but I think this is it.’’

10 o’clock on Christmas Eve morning wasn’t your typical ‘perfect’ proposal, but Sam didn’t want to wait anymore. Dean had suggested he’d do it tonight at his place, but Sam didn’t like the idea of a crowd - even his closest friends and brother - watching them. He liked privacy and, what’s more private than between your four bedroom walls?

‘’This might sound cheesy and overused in proposal speeches, but I wouldn't be who I am today without you. When we met, I was in a bad place. I had gotten into a really bad fight with my father about my future and moved all the way to california to follow my dream. I was miserable and lonely, but there you were in that diner, golden curls and sparkling blue eyes, serving coffee to pay off your tuition. I came to this diner every day for weeks although I was short on money solely so I could see you.'' Sam paused, realizing how stalker-ish his behaviour sounded. ''Unlike the guy at table seven, I wasn't there to ogle your body in your waitress uniform. I was there for the bright smile on your face and to hear your laugh because it was the only thing that would brighten my dark grey sky.''

The blonde reached out and squeezed Sam's hand, remembering the tough times. Freedom hadn’t tasted sweet the first couple months. It was very dark and lonely and difficult on every end. Sam had been long tormented by his past, always thinking about his brother and father he left behind, the absence of support from them.

‘’I remember when I first brought you to my dorm. Collin couldn’t believe I caught a girl like you, so...out of my league. The nerd doesn’t get the hot girl in our world,’’ he said in an attempt to make a joke. ‘’It’s been the two of us since college. Can it be the two of us forever now? You pull me out of my comfort zone and make me do things I would never do on my own without forcing me into anything. You motivate me when my hopes are down, you make me smile when I feel down, make me feel special when I feel alone and misunderstood. You were my home when I had no home to go to. You’re the first girl I loved.’’

There had been girls before Jess. Amy Pond when he was twelve. It didn’t last long, barely over a month, but it still counted. Penelope Svenson, the girl from the café in his hometown. They never went past the first date. She was too self-centered for him. And Rachel Nave, his prom date, who hooked up with his brother on prom night. Thanks Dean.

Looking back, those relationships were insignificant.

‘’Remember the night I reserved us a table at this fancy restaurant? I had been saving for weeks to take you there on our anniversary, But when the day came, I couldn’t get myself out of bed and had to cancel. You showed up to my dorm, all dressed up and excited for our date. I felt so bad. I thought you'd be upset and slam the door on your way out, but you just smiled and said we'd go another time. You even stayed in my dorm and we cuddled and watched movies on my busted laptop. That’s when I knew you were the one for me.''

A small frown creased on the blonde’s forehead, remembering that night in Sam’s crusty dorm perfectly. ‘’Sam, that was over four years ago.’’

He looked down and nodded. ‘’I know. You stayed when others would’ve left and that meant a lot to me. It showed me you weren’t only with me for the good and that I could be fully myself with you - no holding back.’’ Sam paused, the velvet box feeling warm and kinda sticky in his clammy hands. ''Jessica Lee Moore, will you marry me?’’

#spnchristmasbingo #sam winchester #sam winchester x jessica moore #sam x jess #supernatural fic

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boxfivetrades · 4 years

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UK Tour show notes

This whole post is a scene-by-scene spoiler, obviously. If you don’t want to read on, go do yourself a favour and instead listen to the best rendition of AIAOY I have ever seen featuring my new favourite Raoul...

Disclaimer: If anyone’s still reading this post months after I first wrote it in a post-show buzz… keep in mind I’m just another fan who’s way too protective of the production I’ve seen the most (West End) and all its glorious details that won’t really matter to the casual theatregoer- so when you get to my nitpicky scene-by-scene spot-the-difference non-review, laugh at how seriously I took it back then and view them as the Very Biased Personal Opinions they are.

(ok at first I felt unqualified to write about the first preview as it was everyone’s first time seeing and performing a proper show but,, I went nuts and caught a second show when Vinny debuted so... dug this up from my drafts and added my thoughts on the show 2 weeks in, ha!)

— THE TRIO

Killian: Omg Killian is breathtaking. I was sceptical what to even expect at first because his voice did not seem the usual “type” I enjoy in a Phantom, my impression of him was still 2011/12 London Raoul, didn’t really love his Valjean either; to my delight I was completely entranced by him from his first First Lair, and still couldn’t take my eyes off him during my second viewing of the show. He had a great clear belt during the title song, was able to turn wonderfully unrecognisably soft in MOTN, sounded dark and alluring in PONR, and had fantastic rage in Final Lair.

Really impressed by how smoothly he was able to transition between those extreme ends of emotion and volume, right from the first performance- just from vocals alone his Phantom is already very multi-dimensioned yet coherent- a Raoul no more. His range now is really well suited for the score, I appreciate it SO MUCH when someone can sing the actual melody without brushing off those (usually) lowest A flats with “acting”. There’s a silly quote from a review the official POTO account retweeted (of which I could NOT find the source) describing his “beautiful light and shade ... a voice which could sing babies to sleep on one hand and shake the dead awake on the other...” I laughed at first but they’re really not wrong. Killian’s look reminded me of Scotty and Thacko lol round faced bois all of them, he’s not your usual conventionally dashing Phantom in a dashingly well-fitted suit but all the magnetism comes from the sheer amount of acting in his voice, which did it for me, though his physical acting also had some nice details.

His Erik comes across as very possessive and controlling, that doesn’t understand a relationship has to work both ways until the Final Lair climax. I understood him to be more a teacher-type figure to Christine at first, who tries to convince himself their relationship is a romantic one when he senses he’s in danger of losing her to Raoul and things start getting out of hand, then finally realises extortion and ultimatums were not the way to go when he witnesses the mutual care and respect between Christine and Raoul.

Holly-Anne: Her singing and acting are perfectly acceptable but her Christine isn’t really to my taste I guess? Having heard her Cosette I already knew she had a harsher-sounding soprano, she hit all her notes perfectly but alongside (the understandably more experienced) Killian (and Vinny!) she didn’t act half as much with her voice; so while physically she does all the required details and facial expressions- and her look is absolutely beautiful, strong, independent, a bit reserved- her Christine felt slightly disconnected from her Christine’s emotions, so to say, so I’m still not fully convinced by her portrayal. (Her technique sounds effortless and she’s also effortlessly gorgeous, but it didn’t appear or sound like her heart was in it all the time, so perhaps it’s another Rachel Barrell situation? Someone buy me tickets to verify this, lol...) As some have already said on here before, it’s just that she has slightly generic MT-type voice, while I personally lean toward actors with more quirks and inflection in their voice which I feel then give their characters more depth. (Anouk and Lydia both sound more classical, I NEED to see them..!)

Her Christine’s relationship with Erik felt more like curiosity than reciprocated romantic attraction, as though she was only responsive to him because he was so intimidating and seemed to be in control all the time, she had no choice but to go along with it. Watching her trying to reach for Killian in his throne while repeatedly being pulled back by Raoul in the Final Lair, felt like such a switch from her earlier aloofness that I got the impression she felt obliged not to abandon Killian simply because she couldn’t bear seeing her normally-composed teacher in such a breakdown.

Rhys: Ok so he’s got a fantastic and deep singing voice, he comes across youthful and aristocratic and also looks like a model, but he was evidently quite nervous on the first night and sadly that was the only time I saw him? He did nothing wrong, just seemed a bit stiff and didn’t yet have memorable nuances to his acting or singing- so the only emotion I got from him I had to glean from his volume (of which he certainly has a lot). Hence that evening his Raoul looked moody and sounded quite harsh, almost domineering and very confrontational, i.e. would definitely fight you if provoked, being young and lanky and all that. My impression of his Raoul was a suitor who considered saving Christine as a public show of heroism and not out of love and selflessness etc., there were no perceivable moments of tenderness between them... (looking forward to changing this review once I get to see him again...)

Vinny: !!! (Disclaimer I love Vinny’s Enjolras and Feuilly unconditionally so I will be reviewing him with that in mind) and my god do I also love his Raoul unconditionally now... Being already familiar with his singing voice and diction I honestly spent a lot of time trying not to think “omg that’s Enjolras off the barricades in v expensive clothes” but ok back on topic- he is the best live Raoul I’ve seen so far. He’s dialled down the revolutionary spirit lol sorry but his charisma and resoluteness remain, his tone is just a touch younger than Rhys but much warmer overall, so when he does raise his voice at Christine (I guess all Raouls are directed to be slightly aggressive now...) it only sounds like gentle chiding out of concern and not of impatience. His voice is smooth and resonant and there’s so much colour/acting/nuance/depth to it!! To the point where I could no longer tell if I was describing his acting or singing in my own post-show notes- he simply embodies the character.

His Raoul is a perfect balance of strong and sweet, green but still firm with people when he needs to be- with everyone’s best interests in mind: e.g. on the rooftop he got loud with Christine as he wanted her to calm down for a moment to stop worrying, not b/c he was frustrated and wanted her to stop talking and put all her trust in him then and there; in contrast in 2nd Managers, he was pushy with Christine since her cooperation was needed in their More Important Plan to defeat the Opera Ghost. The emphases in some of his spoken/sung lines with just a hint of forcefulness is a signature of his (I think, as he sang similarly in Les Mis), and suits the assertive side of his Raoul well, which brought out his softer moments with Christine even more- wonderful little inflections that made him reassuring, tender, and the R/C absolutely believably adorable. All this is discernible even in audio (the reason I posted their rooftop scene)- let’s just say I have never been so impressed with an AIAOY, ever. And of course he makes a dashing Raoul, sunny yet commanding and always gentle around Christine. Basically I just really really love Vinny, he’s awakened my R/C heart.

— THE STAGING (aka the most extended spot-the-difference game ever)

(but I tend to latch onto seemingly the most inconsequential milliseconds of stuff & will probably completely miss other very obvious things/details that are dear to other fans- that’s just me as a person.)

Prologue: So many drapes, Raoul’s wheelchair is also under wraps- there’s the usual start of show blackout and when the lights come back on, most drapes are removed and Raoul is in his chair. The usual auction scene proceeds. There’s more of a hubhub than in London- more ensemble members onstage to populate the scene I guess, happens in a few other scenes too- choreography remains the same. Auctioneer gets a couple extra lines and some alterations in the otherwise iconic wording to introduce the chandelier, which lowers a bit from the ceiling when mentioned. Don’t love it, the atmosphere is less mysterious and makes the chandelier reveal much less elegant. 🙁 Unfortunately the modified script seems like a necessary change as the vertically rising chandelier now has to be “brought in” (lowered) and is no longer “in pieces” to begin with. 😕

Overture: Drapes are sucked into the chandelier, round of sparks shoot out, chandelier gradually lights up etc. This is my first time seeing the restaged tour chandelier in action and feel like the lighting effects are too smooth- almost tacky- oh well. It rises back to its original higher position in the ceiling. The rest of the drapes onstage are removed, the biggest draped object is actually fragments of a “broken” top proscenium, which reassembles itself and lifts in place. Unsure if there are changes in sound design/orchestration or if it’s just the Curve’s sound system, but the Overture is REALLY loud and crisp to the point of almost sounding artificially amplified. Not a bad thing?

Hannibal Rehearsal: Side boxes already in place. Like the auction scene, it’s much more populated- probably using as many cast members available. The Curve’s stage seemed bigger than the one at Her Majesty’s so the ensemble was more spread out as opposed to the usual huddle near the wings. Someone in a grey suit gets a soldier’s cape put on him and is roped into joining the other soldiers to walk around the elephant- for comedic effect I guess, I still can’t figure out who he is. 😂 Greg’s Piangi was not too memorable. Matt’s Firmin is a bit aloof and contrasts nicely with Adam’s Andre who is more animated and expressive. Also it’s Adam. 😍

Think of Me (Carlotta): Carlotta doesn’t go as far back to be able to hit the newspaper the ensemble reads, so that’s a comedic moment down. Saori is so petite! Hence she’s not over-the-top barging around, but her feistiness, wonderful facial expressions as well as her clear and sweet singing more than make up for it. Carlotta and Piangi’s Italian accents are not as exaggerated as in London (for now). The scenery that drops interrupting her song hangs straight instead of dropping too low so the bottom bit lies crumpled on the stage for a few seconds- a detail probably no one will care lol. Lefevre goes to Frankfurt as usual. James Hume’s Reyer almost steals the show- his little mannerisms and details are so endearing.

Think of Me (Christine): Same perfect+minimal original staging. All the props and costumes are so new, they are very shiny under the beam of the strong spotlights. Feels slightly weird, like watching the original production but in HD. 😂 It’s a good first impression of H-A’s capabilities and she nails the song, doing the Broadway cadenza. Rhys also gave a nice first impression, standard acting but smoothly sung. Was too busy rejoicing in Vinny’s presence to notice any particular acting details lol, but he obviously sounded fantastic.

Angel of Music: Broadway-style “Rehearsals, always rehearsals!” from Ellie.

Little Lotte: Raoul says “There’s no doubt of that“ which is less curt than just “No doubt of that!” which is what I usually hear in London- liked it. But it appears Christine no longer gets to say “No, Raoul... things have changed” before Raoul butts in with “You must change, I must get my hat...” which frankly makes him seem more of a pompous arse- really didn’t like that.

Title Song: At the beginning the Phantom leads Christine offstage right rather than down- to be expected since there are no trapdoors. H-A struggles a bit against Killian which was interesting- the Christines I’ve seen usually are only slightly hesitant but follow obediently. The travelator and boat sequence all unchanged- the candles/fog/that journey to the lair, lit in that exact shade of turquoise, all looked crisp and gorgeous.

MOTN: Very short pause after “I have brought you” before starting, felt a bit rushed. Smooth and unrecognisably soft singing from Killian. 😍 He/the direction really plays up the mind control/hypnotic aspect at the start, standing at the organ set he is able to make H-A turn around/dip her head with a just few hand motions. Killian was watching her intently and brazenly 100% of the time (apart from when he turned to lower the portcullis obvs) which made him seem very possessive, acutely aware of her every move, meaning to be in control every second- which was nice. Heart sank slightly at the Broadway blocking at “soar”. 😫 H-A gets a good feel of Killian’s mask at “Touch me, trust me” but he doesn’t flinch, instead very smoothly takes her hand and guides her over to the mirror. Like I dreaded, he doesn’t do the catch either 😭😭😭, but carefully steps around her and shoots the mannequin an annoyed look which was cute. The stage was relatively bright so I could see the white blob that was H-A rush to the boat during the blackout, which kind of ruined the transition a bit. 😂

I Remember/STYDI: Killian yells real yells of rage. Same blocking during the chase. Then he actually GRABS H-A’s arm downstage right and almost flings her to the floor- so she doesn’t trip on her own like in London. Killian and H-A overall quite grabby/physical. Pretty standard slithering on the floor (lol), mask return not too dramatic either- Killian had his back facing us the whole time, and unlike some, doesn’t abruptly rise and transform back into his old intimidating self. He turns back to Christine and reaches wistfully to stroke her hair, though stops himself at the last minute before “Come we must return ...” 👍

Magical Lasso: Buquet has to announce “The Punjab lasso!” with gusto. Unnecessary. London doesn’t do it?

1st Managers: Door at the back is a sliding not swinging one. Firmin has no jacket. Raoul has a moss green scarf instead of a cream one?! *Actually Rhys had a green one; Vinny’s was cream. Meg enters wrapped in a thick cream shawl over her ballerina costume. Costume-wise all changes for changes’ sake I thought. 🙄 No change in blocking that I noticed.

Il Muto: James Hume is a VERY cute Fop/Jeweller. Don Attilio is very tall and his walking v exaggerated. Overall many comedic moments felt deliberately exaggerated for the audience, I personally prefer the subtlety in London- funny if you notice them, not a huge loss if you don’t. Whereas here it felt more “Hey look this is funny- now laugh.” 😕 Chandelier shakes a bit, Killian is a disembodied voice. Andre doesn’t remember what he’s supposed to bring forward and Mme Giry appears from the wings and raps her cane, “the... the BALLET! from Act Three...” Another slightly forced comedic moment- Andre gets roped into the Il Muto ballet not being able to leave the stage fast enough, the nymphs put the floral hoops around him and the shepherd together. Shepherd is the first to notice the Phantom’s silhouette and gasps, gesturing into the wings when he’s downstage left, a stagehand runs out, reacts loudly and runs back in presumably to tell the others. Buquet dies the same way.

Rooftop/AIAOY: R/C enter (and exit) upstage left now since there are no trapdoor stairs. There is a giant Pegasus sculpture sitting in upstage right along with the usual Garnier dome/rooftop flat imagery. It’s like 3 metres high and we were all wondering why, as it’s not doing much here. During the ghostly “Chriiiistine”, H-A runs up next to the huge statue and peers beyond, so I guess that represents the edge of the roof now. When Raoul loudly declares “Then say you’ll share with me one love...” H-A shushed Rhys which was quite cute if not breaking the flow of the song a bit. Her shushing was less obvious with Vinny but maybe that’s just where I was sitting. Nothing much stood out about H-A & Rhys’ AIAOY but Vinny had the softest little details (the dreamiest “dream”!) and I like to think H-A responded more to that.

AIAOY Reprise: Oh BOY this is so huge, I’ve drawn it out for you.

First there was some VERY dramatic booming suspenseful music. Like it wasn’t just a new sound effect, it went for at least a few bars while the giant statue slowly swung out from the back to the front and centre- they threw an extra tremolo note in there too. (I’ve checked- from the last note of Christine’s “...you’ll guard me and you’ll guide me” to the Phantom’s first note in “I gave you my music”, this moment lasts for 8 seconds in London, here it went for at least 18… at first preview it was 26 WHOLE SECONDS- it was TORTURE omg, SO dragged out I had to suppress a laugh.) Thankfully the statue moved faster and the rumbling suspense music got shorter my second show. Anyway so obviously it’s Killian who appears from behind it, suggesting he’s been hiding there all long. (Killian says he actually has to hide inside the Pegasus from 1st Managers onwards and that he would very much appreciate a stool… but he enjoys listening to the Prima Donna.) He has both hands on the statue to keep himself steady I guess? so there’s not much gesturing or pointing or putting hands on ears, unlike what one can do when safely strapped inside London’s angel. He does the whole reprise in that position. At “Alllllll that the Phantom asked of youuuuuuu” the whole thing swings back in, with Killian still on it. The first time it was so awkwardly slow plus the shock of seeing this giant statue thing made me almost laugh again. Second time it was paced better. Still don’t know how I feel about this humONGOUS change. This was when I thought nope, definitely not that brilliant original here… 🥴

Chandelier drop: Killian appears from the stage right box and shoots sparks from a stick at the chandelier, which flashes, wobbles, drops a few metres vertically then blackout with a huge reverberating “boom”. It’s not terrible I guess. The boom was fun to hear.

Masquerade: Same set, same staircase, same placement of dummies, same level of dazzling as in London. Unsure if there are any additions/changes in costumes- my attention span is too short lol. Not familiar enough with the lyrics to figure out whether it’s London or Broadway, but I remember looking for (and not finding) some bits in the choreo so I assume it’s the Broadway version. The rotating star at the top of the statue, at the bottom of the balustrade was VERY wobbly on the first night, as were the dummies- made me nervous. Everything was less wobbly on my second show. The monkey enters from stage left opposite to the other 3 people in the band, idk why?

Why So Silent: When Red Death appeared at the first preview I think Rhys accidentally pulled H-A back too forcefully, he literally swung her into the wings and I was like rude! 😮😂 Didn’t happen again with Vinny. No whispers of “Christine, Christine” as Killian beckons her over with a commanding gesture (again, mind control vibes). Forgot to look closely (twice!😩) to see if Killian disappears down a trapdoor or runs off shielded by everyone, but it’s likely the latter, I don’t think there’s a trapdoor for that either.

Mme Giry’s Tale: No change.

2nd Managers: Firmin has his jacket back on now. Christine doesn’t get to blurt “I can’t!” before running out of managers’ office now? Just why? Why did they take that away?? Also, the few bars of music between her running out and Raoul shouting “So, it is to be war between us...” is the more dramatic version heard in the World Tour with the extra dissonant winds and strings instead of just the arpeggios- fun to hear I guess, and a little shock if you’re familiar with London/Broadway.

DJT Rehearsal: Again, James Hume acts the hell out of his Reyer- actual star of the show tbh.

Mausoleum: Set looks to be an exact replica, strands of ivy, swinging gates and all. Journey/Wishing/Wandering Child blocking all unchanged. There were loud rustling sounds from the ivy when Killian was coming out from his hiding place at first preview 😂 They do the Wandering Child trio here 👍 though Raoul does the Broadway “Leave her, you have no claim on her...” instead of the more frantic “Angel of darkness, cease this torment! ... whatever you may believe, this man, this thing is not your father! ... Let her go, for god’s sake, let her go!” exchange which I prefer- now that it’s gone I miss it, aw... 😕 Killian really goes for it with the fireballs, aiming straight at Raoul and Christine too- so Vinny’s ducking was very realistic. 😂 Raoul shouts “Monsieur I fear you not!” like on Broadway. There are still flames shooting up from the stage but it’s 7 medium bursts not 5-6 large bursts (lol). Same brightness, less heat. 🔥

Before the Premiere: Policeman in the Pit is in the pit. Vinny (as Policeman) has such quick reflexes, he could’ve shot Killian if he really wanted to. 😂 As expected, the “Let the audience in” line is gone.

Don Juan Triumphant/PONR: Maybe it was the lighting but the painted backdrop is painted very sharp and contrasty- it never really stood out this much to me in London. I don’t know much about costume details but this Aminta dress has a very noticeable, lighter-coloured narrowish flap of fabric in front that doesn’t reach the hem? Also Christine has an updo with a rose in it now. Blocking more or less the same. After H-A removes Killian’s hood, he runs towards upstage right, but instead of stopping facing the curtains, he looks more to his left where Mme Giry is clearly seen standing in the wings. I got the impression it was a pleading look 🥺, perhaps hoping for some kind of assistance but she doesn’t do anything- make of that non-exchange what you will. Killian doesn’t kneel while putting his ring on Christine’s finger.

Post-unmasking chaos: The timing of everything is slightly different. Blackout comes faster so there’s no time for the shock of seeing Piangi dead in the fake bedroom, Raoul doesn’t come running to give Meg a hug before the scrim lowers (or maybe that’s just a Danny thing in London?), when they stretcher out dead Piangi, Carlotta asks what is happening and shrieks “Ubaldoooo!”

Down Once More: Good old original staging. Travelator is very well lit so the ratcatcher can be clearly seen! And Raoul still jumps off the bridge! They slide out a black volume with crash mat of some sort inside, he lands in it with a thump and it slides back in. Maybe the effect is better with a dimmer stage/when not sitting front and centre.

Final Lair: Same blocking+entrances, I forget exactly at which point but Killian grabs H-A’s arm and she ends up on the floor. She gets back to standing in time for him to turn her around and put the veil on her. Raoul runs in from stage right now there’s no trapdoor for him to pop up from. There’s another iconic lyric change: “Wait! I think my dear, we have a guest! Sir, this is indeed an unparalleled delight! I had hardly dreamt we’d be so blessed!” Personal reaction: OMG, JUST WHY. 😩 Anyway. Angry Killian sounds really good, I loved how he growled certain lines (esp. “The WORLD showed no compassion to ME!”- phwoar, hear the line for yourself) After being reunited Raoul and Christine end up standing slightly apart both facing stage left as if immediately looking for a way out, so she doesn’t see the noose coming in time to warn him. Usual blocking again, during the kiss neither Raoul did much- Rhys had a blank expression so I assumed he was just choking in silence; Vinny hardly fidgeted either so I assumed he was just relieved he’d got through Raoul for the day. As Killian grabs the candle, H-A yelps a “no”, but Killian gives her a sad look and shakes his head defeatedly as if to explain he’s not going to hurt Raoul now, before burning the noose. 💔 H-A tries to head towards the throne where Killian is slumped, both Rhys and Vinny struggle to pull her back for the longest time and they don’t leave until they’re literally chased out at “Go now and leave meeeeee”. Killian reaches out to clutch H-A’s outstretched hand during the ring return (they stand quite far apart) and she gives a tiny nod of understanding at “Christine, I love you...” before turning to go. Killian picks up the veil, audibly sobs and whispers “my love” (that got me 🥺🥺🥺), and also “I love you” as R/C leave by boat. No change to “You alone” and final scene.

— MISC

Idk how the restaged tour did it but where there’s supposed to be a real curtain in the show it’s still a real, red curtain btw, the painted one only appears during the interval in place of the usual safety curtain.

— EXTRA THOUGHTS I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT

James Hume is the most charming Reyer and the most adorable, show-stealing Fop/Jeweller ever, why is James not u/s Phantom, please make James u/s Phantom if not principal, just listen to his Stars omg

And... All in all I still don’t know whether or not to call this a replica. Or even the Brilliant Original. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

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Med Rewatch Series (#10)

S3 E10: Down By Law.

Episode Description: Dr. Manning sustains an injury while helping a drive-by victim and Dr. Rhodes finds himself in uncomfortable waters.

Connor being in ‘uncomfortable waters’? I can hear Ava bullying him already.

(also i wrote a little thing abt maggie giving ava a red bull so enjoy that little bit of content)

Let’s get into it.

-barry just yeeted natalie against a car holy shit that’s fucking hilarious

-will needs to chill the fuck out

-YESSSSS

-THIS WHERE CONNOR BRINGS THE WOMAN HE WENT OUT WITH UP FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. AND THEN AVA HARASSES HIM FOR IT.

-this is one of the most iconic ava moments. (it’s first thing that pops up under the tumblr tag)

-ava overhearing connor not knowing his date’s last name. and ava walking over, already getting ready to make fun of him. barely concealing her smile

-the confidence with which she set down the file. she was too prepared and too excited

-this could just turn into a list of ava quotes

-”It must be hard, remembering all their names.”

“You know I read Derek Jeter used to send his conquests home with a gift basket. But a full cardio work up is... It’s much classier.”

-ava bekker secret baseball fan?

-Connor: “Jeter? You a baseball fan?”

Ava: “Oh, no. It’s much too boring. But I love gossip.”

-interesting. very, interesting... is it weird to anyone else to think about ava liking gossip?

-like the idea is fun and all but i hate the idea of ava being suuuper obsessed with gossip. it makes her seem way too shallow in my book. that being said, one of my hcs about women gossiping about all the shit men do to ava bc they know she’ll call them on it now has a lot more precedence

-i know she explicitly says that baseball is boring but i can’t get the idea of ava being a secret baseball fan out of my head. its just so novel

-HER SHIT EATING GRIN

- Connor: “Well, we will get you in and out of here as quickly as possible.”

Ava: “That’s what Dr. Rhodes is renowned for around here. Quick in and outs.”

Connor: *turns to her condescendingly*

Ava: *two finger salute* “I’m Dr. Bekker, by the way.”

-the lesbian icon jumped out

-also the fact that in the previous episode Ava’s mentor did the exact same salute. idk what it means but it’s not that important

-ava trying to hide her smile when asking the woman if she wanted them to contact her husband

-ava overhearing again when latham tells connor the woman he was with was doing cocaine

-ava smirking when connor says that he thinks the heart attack was from his sex and not the cocaine

-connor thinking he’s so good at sex he’s going to give this woman a heart attack

-he really drives All the ladies wild in EveryWay (sex, suicide. he’s the whole package)

-latham asking connor point blank “did you partake in the cocaine?”

-the ct team gives connor so. much. shit. it’s so funny

-also. ava just chillin at her desk looking at scans? that’s the kind of content i want to see. just her just being there. doing her own thing. that’s what i want

-THE GUY WITH A TEENAGE WIFE IS A REVEREND HOLY SHIT

-counting down the minutes til natalie drops dead (passes out but yk a girl can dream lol)

-sarah. back at it again with her rayon jacket and button up and backpack. the coffee cup only adds to the aesthetic

-connor being surprised that latham isn’t gonna let him do surgery on the women he fucked (twice, he might add)

- whatever you do, don’t think of a brown bear. are you thinking about it?

-maggie dealing red bull to people who need it. that’s a very soft idea

- ex:

Dr. Bekker is sitting at the desk in the ED. Well, sleeping, more like it. Her head is resting on her fist, her elbow precariously close to slipping off the the chair armrest, and her eyes open by just a hair.

“Dr. Bekker.”

Ava jolts awake.

“Maggie,” Ava says, strong accent cutting through, acknowledging the person standing over her. Hastily, she adjusts her jacket and scrubs, smoothing them back into place.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired.”

Ava shrugs, seamlessly slipping back into easy confidence.

“Rough couple of cases. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Uh huh,” Maggie says, unbelieving.

She sets a can of Red Bull on the desk with a knowing look.

“You need this more than anybody.”

Ava scoffs. “Those things? They are murder on your heart, come on.”

Maggie hums and walks away. Ava watches her leave, and when she’s out of sight, Ava darts forward, grabs the energy drink, immediately cracking it open and downing half of it.

- anyway.

- @punksarahreese that’s on you for making me believe ava loves energy drinks

- let’s continue

- sarah looking at charles telling her not to do something: I am not going to do a thing you said

- go off babe. it was the wrong decision but go off

- all the nurses watching this guy call nat a bitch: 👀 👀 👀 👀

- will being like: god that guy called you a bitch i fucking hate him

- and natalie being like: he is also refusing to let us treat the 14 yr olds cancer but you obviously have priorities

- sarah is so logical. she’s good at talking to people. can you FUCKING IMAGINE IF SHE HAD BETTER GUIDANCE (oh and less trauma)

- this is also the one with that hilarious screen cap of sarah holding a knife

- the way she is so calm about handing this patient a knife gives me anxiety

- THIS SCENE IS SO HARD TO WATCH IT SCARES ME SO MUCH

- sarah just in alone in a room with a man who keeps having visions of stabbing his wife. and her just handing him a fucking knife oh my god i have too much anxiety for this

- rewatching the series and getting completely confused bc norma is 5′7″ but she looks so short next to colin and the guy who plays latham

- AND RACHEL IS ALSO 5′ 7″ BUT THEY BOTH LOOK SO SHORT - WHY EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW SO TALL

- anyway. ignore that that’s not important

- I... the parallels btwn sarah offering this guy the ability to slit her throat (for therapy) and ava cutting her throat... i don’t know what to do with this information

- idk but sarah holding the knife got me feelin some type of way

- the way connor looks at ava with such contempt bc she... does her job (and his but yk) especially during the hug wtf dude honestly just stop looking at her

- this is also the episode where ava pawns off the patient’s hug onto connor. while yeah, it could ava just being annoying to connor by forcing him to hug his one night stand’s husband, but she did give connor due credit. (and something to be said about her being confused and a tad uncomfortable when the patient hugs her, which is why she pawns it off to rhodes)

- she also doesn’t hug the guy back, which is kind of funny, she never moves her arms and just shrugs out of it

- and like after the hug she takes a few steps away from the guy, really not wanting any more physical contact or attention

- there’s something interesting in ava’s expression when connor gets hugged by the guy, can’t quite explain it. i’m gonna go with it’s her trying to keep a straight face while connor hugs a man he just helped a woman cheat on, but that’s not all of it so

- or. okay, I think i got it. i think that that little expression when connor gets hugged is her rolling her eyes at him getting credit when ava did most of the heavy lifting. yes. final answer. i’m satisfied

- and her looking away from them is her stopping herself from laughing, bc connor is obviously not enjoying this

- and he’s so sad and angsty he can’t even play along with the jokes

- and ava smiling at him with pity as she walks in to talk to the patient, bc that’s really what it is. she feels bad for him bc connor is so obviously lonely

- and connor’s annoyed bc ‘dammit she does have a right to pity me i suck rn’

- med pushing the women are tough agenda LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

- you hate your women characters so much just fucking shut your mouth

- and will being like ‘ i have a lot to learn about women not being objects’

- and nat saying ‘you are way further along than most’ like no, he’s not. the bar is on the ground and he still can’t jump it

- i’m pretty sure this show doesn’t pass the bechdel test. holy fucking shit it doesn’t. you’ve gotta be kidding me. (at least this episode doesn’t)

I can’t believe this episode didn’t pass the bechdel test. The only convo btwn two women were like maggie and sharon and they talk about barry and oh my god this is infuriating god med the bar is so low. And I’m pretty sure most episodes don’t pass the test anyway. Will is literally the representation of med. He gets lots of credit for doing bare minimum things like giving women rights.

Anyway.

This was a good episode. We dissected a lot of unspoken Ava things, which is very good. Ava had a lot of moments where she was there, but didn’t say anything, and when your characters can do that, that’s when you know your characterization is very good.

The moments where Ava isn’t really doing anything to forward the plot of the episode but she’s still just there, doing her own thing, are hands down my favorite. Her sitting at the desk looking at a scan while connor tells latham he didn’t do cocaine could possibly my favorite ava moment in the series, just bc it shows how much of her own character should could’ve been.

I drew an interesting parallel btwn sarah offering the guy to slit her throat and ava’s death. i have nothing for that but go wild

This episode also showed us Ava pitying Connor, another new aspect. she gives him shit but she also pities him. very good ep for little ava moments

as always, thanks for sticking through it

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #ava bekker #med rewatch series #down by law #mine

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

Text

Paper Mouth, Opera Game, Beautiful Place | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

This is December 5th Rachel here to tell you this has been sitting in my drafts since the prehistoric era and we boutta update on three chapters of Moth Work *cracks knuckles*.

First, let’s start with chapter seven of the book, AKA Paper Mouth.

I wrote Paper Mouth back in August, and while I drafted it (over a few writing sprints), I was happy with it, but eventually realized I actually... didn’t like her, lol. Though objectively this chapter ain’t my fave, it does establish a very! important! thing! And that’s my shiny new gal, Eliza.

So, if anyone remembers from previous updates, I conceptualized most of MOTH WORK back in January when I was *stressed* at the end of a semester and needed a *break*. During this period of brainstorming where the whole photograph plot formed, I characterized a woman (the woman in the picture) who I knew would be central to the book. I knew I wanted to name her Eliza, I knew what she looked like, and had a loose backstory outlined for her, buuuuut… I started drifting from the photograph plot (it was only meant to be a booster) and without the photograph plot, I didn't have a reason to include her. So I thought I’d actually cut her involvement in the book way down from about 30-50% to 2%.

This changed however, when I added Lonan’s POV to the book (what I’m writing at the moment). Because I was in his head, I quickly realized how important finding this woman (someone who had a previous affair with his father [TEA]) would be to him.

This is how we end up at Paper Mouth!

The chapter is almost a direct continuation of the last, and starts out as follows:

Scene A:

Lonan makes a phone call to Eliza from a phone booth. They’ve never met, she like new phone who dis, but after an off-screen explanation, we jump into scene two.

Scene B:

This scene covers the two meeting for the first time outside of a diner. Lonan got dat brooding hoodie energy, and Eliza has tattoo-artist but also your mom friend energy, and we love the dynamic already! From here, she offers to buy Lonan a milkshake as an incentive to speak with him. Me too sis, me too.

Scene C:

They chat, until Lonan moves the conversation to his father. Things go downhill lol, Lonan gets overwhelmed and heads outside to leave, despite having no way home, but is followed by Eliza. They have a convo that gets heated about his father, tho this sort of veers off abruptly my bad.

I honestly don’t love anything enough to share from this chapter, so let’s move on to the next!

EDIT: y’all this is the second edit I’ve made in this post because guess who forgot chapter 8 existed.

Opera Game took me so long to write, I forgot it existed! I either started it at the end of August, or the beginning of September--it took so long I’m pretty sure I only finished it in November, lol.

Scene A:

We get more Lonan + Eliza time as Eliza pulls a Fostered book three and stitches up Lonan’s busted face

This goes wrong very quickly when Lonan keeps bringing up the fact that he thinks she’s spooked because he has his dead father’s (AKA her ex’s) eyes.

Scene B:

We have din din with Eliza + Lonan and she gifts him back his mother’s ring (at last, the OG plot) that she may or may not have had wrapped for months to give back to his dad (yikers). << this causes some minor problems lol

Scene C:

Lonan and Eliza share a cigarette on her apartment’s balcony. They’re supposed to be just friends but let’s just say apparently I cannot write those (see Darren and Reeve lmfaooo).

The end of this chapter was so fun to write. Take with that what you will! I put Nothing But Thieves’ cover of Love You Should’ve Come Over on repeat to write scene C. Take with that! What! You! Will! ;)

And now for excerpts! Sharing this because of the word guileless:

Eliza looks like a girl. She’s a girl with too many tattoos bartered for free in college, convenience store lipstick she bought from the clearance section, a haircut she found in her mother’s mail-order catalogue, rings hand-bent from an age 12+ kit. She cries like a girl, and sits like a girl and wipes her face like a girl, and he sees the same thing in her that he sees in himself—something guileless, something see-through.

I don’t usually share dialogue, but here is some dialogue from scene B:

“Should I have gotten something different?”

“This is fine.”

“They had chili chicken too. General Tso’s. I should’ve followed my gut.”

“This is fine.”

“There’s even an Italian place just a block over. I forgot about the Italian place.”

“This is fine, Eliza.”

And now, a very on brand excerpt ft. dead bodies:

He can’t remember why his mother died, or when, or why she’s more of a mother than his own mother. He only wants to visit her. Slip the ring back on her finger. She would smell like peaches, hibiscus, almost chlorinated, embalmed, absently pretty, not because she wasn’t beautiful, but because her body would be empty.

EDIT (again): hi y’all it’s been a month since I drafted this, and so here we go with yet another chapter update because I refuse to do schoolwork!

Beautiful Place is chapter nine of Moth Work, and is chock full of all the tea you’ve ever wanted! Watch Rachel take a pure friendship and make it *not* because that’s her #1 talent! Pure friendship? lol you THOUGHT.

I wrote this chapter over the course of my reading break. @sarahkelsiwrites and I went out to a coffee shop and did a few writing sprints, where a majority of this chapter was birthed.

After Opera Game, I was a bit stuck with this book. I needed a chapter that shoved Eliza and Lonan closer together, but couldn’t figure out exactly how to go about this. I’d semi established a semi friendship between Lonan and Eliza, but wasn’t fully understanding how they’d go from “lol ur my dad’s ex” to “buds? hi!” to “lol ur my ex” and I toyed around with a lot of ideas in my head before I accidentally stumbled into the scene that defines the entire chapter.

Scene A:

All you need to know is Lonan is chillin’ on Eliza’s couch, she’s making some good ol’ french toast, and then tells him she wants to take him to a “good place” and he’s like ok)

Scene B:

Eliza’s place is a cove she found a while back with someone I cannot name because of spoilers (just know that this definitely changes Lonan’s opinion of being there)

When he asks her about the person who she found the place with, she gets *shady*, he gets *extra*, there is *tea*

Here is an excerpt ft. my most overused verb: starbursting (why)!

“You like the beach?” Eliza turns off the car engine, checks her lipstick in the rear-view.

“Just the water.”

“But not the beach?”

“I like the water.”

They get out of the car together, and Eliza’s sundress catches in the rain. The cotton is patterned with palm leaves, birds the size of his pinkie, and it whirls around her in the wind. He doesn’t ask why the good place is the beachfront, or what’s so good about it. He doesn’t shake her hand off when she takes it and leads him toward the sand. Eliza moves around amber driftwood and rubbery kelp like this isn’t an obstacle course but a regular commute. Her hair blows out of her face, starbursting like a halo. She says something about coming here when the Vegas lights blocked the stars. That it’s magical at night, it’s intoxicating, it’s spellbinding, and all of these words remind him more of his sister than sand, than waves.

Here’s a description of the beautiful place ooooh:

The first thing he notices is the light. It’s only the sun reflecting off the stone, but he sees constellations, jittering like they’re both submerged in water. Bits of gold catch in Eliza’s hair and the peaks of the waves, and it’s the cove he notices next. They stand in the centre of it, the stone arched over a spread of water, lapping inches from their feet. It’s like being enclosed in a snowglobe, a private hemisphere of light, water, stone, sand. A resurrection.

And here lies tea:

Eliza is spreading out a picnic blanket while Lonan kneels toward the water. He punctures the current, and lets it stream between his fingers. Even in his hands, the water is gold.

“A friend and I found it,” she says, as water drips into his palm, down his wrist. “I said it was magical.”

“Was it my father?” he picks up a clump of sand, lets it disintegrate back down.

When Eliza says nothing, he turns back to look at her. She’s rummaging through the picnic basket, humming something under her breath, fixing the corner of the blanket.

“Eliza?”

She looks at him, and then back down, glasses clinking. She pulls out two jars—one orange, one pink. “Which do you prefer—marmalade or strawberry?” She digs through the basket, pulls out another jar, olive coloured, speckled with reds, yellows. “Or tapenade?”

“Eliza,” he says, wringing out his hand as he rises. “Was it my father?”

“I brought red wine, too. Do you drink?”

Lonan approaches, and crouches at the edge of the picnic basket. He plays with the hem, smooths his fingers over the metallic underbelly, the fleecy plaid pattern on the good side.

When she pulls out the wine bottle, he reaches over and places his hand on the neck. Their fingers brush when he secures his palm around it. When she doesn’t look at him, he moves his hand over until it covers hers.

“The friend you found this place with,” he says. “Was that my father?”

Eliza tightens her grip around the wine bottle and pulls it back, placing it into the picnic basket. Her sigh trembles, vibrato like a flute, an opera singer. She smooths her hair back, once, twice. “It’s shiraz. My mother sent it from Italy.”

And at last, I call this: Kind of A Wild Thing to Do But Pop Off I Guess:

On her pulse sits a tattoo of a single crow’s eye, and Lonan traces it with the tip of his fingernail. He touches down, to the dagger following the vein on her forearm, and when he reaches the golden cherub an inch from her elbow, leans down and kisses its head.

Aaaand, what a fun way to end this update!

I’m not sure if I’ll get another update up before the new year, but let’s cross our fingers! If not, here’s to 2020! Let’s finish these books y’all.

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writerblr #mothwork #writingupdates #fostered

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

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ooh, please talk about how animorphs as a series exists in conversation with comic books!

Here it is, a whole bunch of questionably-organized thoughts off the top of my head (because if I wrote it out properly it’d be an entire dissertation):

Animorphs as Graphic Novels

Superhero team-up plot

Need for secrecy and “dual identities”, including through hiding abilities from loved ones and civilians

Kids’ powers given by science which no other human possesses — they are extraordinary, “unique to the universe” (MM3)

Small team of fighters with variations on similar powers (strength, speed, stealth, etc. divided among morphs)

Inability to trust authority, forcing them to take fight into own (amateur) hands

Secret Invasion: the aliens are in disguise, characters take on others’ appearances and identities

Use of exposition conceits and contrivances

Notably eschews Magic Tree House convention of putting all exposition into prologue

Also does not follow Babysitters’ Club convention of info-dump (thank Jeebus)

Follows in convention of using various devices (memory recordings, personal introductions, dialogue) to introduce the reader to the plot

When these occur, deliberately written w/ character voices

Stylistic descriptions

Heavy use of onomatopoeia

Short sentences, short paragraphs, short words

Thought-speak

Written with hypertext symbols/pointed brackets

In comics, used to denote a translation from a foreign language (possibly b/c guillemets popular in French and Italian texts?)

In Animorphs, used to denote not-quite-real and non-audible nature of this type of speech

Simultaneous condemnation and celebration of need for lawbreaking and violence

Explorations of impermanent death

Rachel and Tobias in MM2; Jake in MM3 and #11; all of them in MM4; David (maybe) in #48, David definitely in #22; Cassie, Tobias, Rachel, maybe Ax in #41

Impact of death is NOT on dead character, but on surviving teammates left behind (Alaniz)

Explorations of impermanent disability

Loren in #49; James, Erica, etc. in #50; Tobias in #13 and MM2

THIS IS PROBLEMATIC AS FUCK and doesn’t age well, but it is still a convention of the genre

Vivid, lurid, unreal cover scenes, including stylized depictions of battles

Discomfort with public personas, including identity fragmentation

Jake being disturbed/horrified by own postwar lionizing (military awards, Mount Rushmore, etc.)

Cassie noting how much Rachel’s funeral would have discomfited Rachel herself, and the lack of accuracy in statements made about her postmortem

All Animorphs, especially Jake and Tobias, responding to praise with shame

Writing structure

Short sentences, short paragraphs, short chapters, short books

Heavy use of imagery, with emphasis on worldbuilding through unreal imagery

Dialogue does not let up throughout story — not during dreams, not during battles, not during self-reflection

During rare moments when no one is talking, everyone is doing something, w/ very little room for long reflection

Emphasis on concrete, physical sensations and images over wishy-washy abstraction

Catchphrases!!!!

“Let’s do it”

“This is insane”

Arguably: “Good grief”; “Don’t call me prince”/”Yes, Prince Jake”

Superman as someone with “a body that retains no marks, on which history cannot be inscribed” (Bukatman)

Heroes getting “spear deaths” while villains and the pathetic get “straw deaths” (X)

Rachel’s death as heroic sacrifice

Jara Hamee, James et al, Rachel, Ax (?), Elfangor, Jake et al (?): dying in battle while bravely facing down hopeless odds

Visser One: stepped on almost accidentally after being stripped down to nothing by execution process

Visser Three: denied death in battle; must die after lifetime spent in prison

David: made helpless and pitiful before begging for death rather than continuing to exist in this state

Tom: “‘This pitiful, broken thing?’ He [the yeerk] gestured to his own body.” just before death (#53, emphasis mine)

Saddler: vilified and (guiltily) victim-blamed before dying in bed

Even “mock deaths” in Megamorphs books follow this pattern

Animorphs as SUBVERSIVE Graphic Novels

Ultrarealistic (humorous) embodiment of experience of fighting battles in multicolored spandex

Condemnation of violence

Emphasis on consequences beyond the physical

Physical violence is gross, disturbing, horrifyingly realistic (contrast: comics are often bloodless, or have unrealistically pretty violence) (Pizarro & Baumeister)

Unhappy endings

Superhero stories: “happy ending” = wife, kids, picket fence, heteronormativity

Animorphs: happy ending would be the chance to rest/recover and stop having to make moral decisions (#31); happy ending moves out of reach over course of story

Almost outsized emphasis on impact of secrecy, lies, violence, and injury on protagonists

Superhero comics (and later superhero movies): strangely bloodless stabbings, often played for humor or pathos but no gore

Animorphs: Marco’s entire jaw being ripped off as his tongue lolls loose from the hole in his face (#49), Jake tripping over his own entrails where they trail on the floor following disembowelment (MM4), Rachel being blinded by amount of blood gushing from a head wound (#41), etc.

Tobias

Descended from an ancient line of alien warriors, abandoned unwillingly by his parents at birth with unworthy guardians, grows up with no advantages, goes on to become a messiah-figure to the hork-bajir… and after all that, he’s just some guy on the team

It's not the story of Tobias and the Superfriends (or of Jake and the Superfriends) b/c he’s a part of the team

Characters like Cassie, who has ordinary (and therefore unconventional for superhero) backstory, actually get just as much development and even more narrative time than Tobias does

Showing impact: he has chronically, almost pathologically low self-esteem as a result of how he was raised, he experiences a lot of anger with both his parents for abandoning him, he gets continuously bullied in school for markers of poverty (wrong clothes, overweight, need to change school districts)

Jake

Another common superhero narrative: ordinary kid with group of friends accidentally stumbles into alien secret, ends up in charge of a group of superbeings almost overnight, all the while maintaining a secret identity as an ordinary (mediocre) boy non-hero to his normative suburban parents, aware all the while of villainous figure lurking in their midst…

But he remains, at the end of the day, not that special: the only “secret ability” he has to conceal is the ability to morph, not super-smarts or super-strength or any quality that makes him a brilliant rather than a merely decent leader

Again, impact: his family gets torn apart by weight of his and Tom’s yeerk’s secrets, something Aunt May (for instance) is much less likely to have to contend with

Rachel’s death as planned sacrifice play: Jake makes no attempt to die in her place

Contrast graphic novel trope (Superman and Jason Todd, Captain America and Bucky, Black Widow and Hawkeye, Hulk and Iron Man) of superheroes going to almost-ridiculous lengths to die in each other’s place, and superheroes almost never dying outside of concerted effort to prevent/undo friends’ deaths

Animorphs goes for military realism over classic self-sacrifice presentation

#animorphs #animorphs meta #animorphs spoilers #gore #body horror #graphic novels #superheroes #avengers endgame spoilers #comic books #superhero comics #k.a. applegate #tropes #long post #writing #superhero meta #avengers spoilers #loriache #asks

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ginnyzero · 4 years

Text

5 Books that Got Me Interested in Werewolves

I like werewolves. Both of my current book series, Heaven's Heathens MC and the Dawn Series include werewolves. And if you've read any of my previous blog posts, you'll know that The Lone Prospect (Heaven's Heathens MC #1) was inspired after watching the Expendables 2 during a binge watching of Sons of Anarchy.

My interest in doing werewolves instead of say vampires came from reading a lot of books about werewolves, where in the series werewolves weren't the main focus. I wanted a series of books that wasn't expressly romance that focused on werewolves and werewolf dynamics and adventures and being a werewolf was more an accepted part of life than "woe is me, I am a monster."

Monsters more often than not have human faces. See Frankenstein.

These are not necessarily recommendations. But if you like werewolf books and aren't picky, you may like these.

1. Bitten by Kelley Armstrong

Elena Michaels is the only female werewolf that has ever survived the change. A journalist good at investigating, she used her skills to track down rogue werewolves and kill them. Until she got tired of the violence the life required no matter how much she loved the male members of her pack. She's been trying to live like a human, but an old enemy is about to resurface threatening the pack she loves. Now, she's being drawn back into that world.

This was Kelley Armstrong's first novel. I liked the original cover and that's why I bought it. It focused completely on werewolves and was an interesting start to a new series. Book 2 started introducing other races and after a while I gave up on it when it focused exclusively on the young witch that was also introduced in book 2, Stolen. Bitten doesn't really hold up to any sort of in depth critical thinking when it comes to werewolves. Why is Elena the only female werewolf? She's also an orphan who has been sexually abused and then her boyfriend changed her without permission. I can see why she left the guy. I don't care how hot he's supposed to be. My last gripe for this book was Elena really felt like a stand in for the author. They are both Canadian and the politics commentary was really heavy handed. Maybe it was supposed to make the book feel relevant in 2001. It just made me grimace a bit.

2. Fool Moon by Jim Butcher

Business has been slow, no dead, for Harry Dresden, Chicago's only professional Wizard. Until Karen Murphy comes with a case of brutal murder. Mutilated corpse, strange paw prints and a full moon. It's going to take all of Harry's knowledge and skill to get to the bottom of which werewolf group is performing the murders. And the answer may be closer than he thought.

Fool Moon was Jim Butcher's second Harry Dresden Case File. He hadn't quite hit his writing stride yet. (That didn't happen until book 3.) In the book, Jim Butcher went through and used about every single type of werewolf he could think of to blow the readers off the scent (see what I did there) of who the real murders were. He used a lot of "classic" Universal studios werewolf lore and lore from other werewolf, lycanthropy, berserker type werewolves as well. And then he pretty much dropped the whole werewolf thing like hot potatoes in the books after this in order to pursue his Black Council and Winter Court Fae big story lines. And the times he does end up using the werewolves, it can be rather offensive, such as werewolves going into heat and the general way he describes the female werewolves. (He also has this problem with most of his female characters. I digress.) It was a good starting point for me at least to look at the different werewolf types and go research more on my own.

3. A Fistful of Charms by Kim Harrison

Rachel Morgan's love life has never been that great. Now, Nick, a former boyfriend who cut and run needs Rachel's particular skills as a runner. A thief, he's stolen an artifact that could give the werewolves more power over the vampires and now he's been caught. It's up to Rachel to find the artifact and free him from the werewolves. The problem is, he's not in Cincinnati, but up in Michigan and on an island in the middle of one of the Great Lakes. And it's going to take more than a few magical spells and wishful thinking to get him out alive.

This was book 4 of Kim Harrison's Hollows Series. In one of the previous books, she'd made a one off character, an insurance adjuster, who was a werewolf. Kim Harrison is not someone who really outlines her books in advance, so this insurance adjuster suddenly became a lot more important and so did werewolves for this fourth book. Because Rachel Morgan is so caught up in vampire, demon and fae politics, other than some consequences of what happened because of this book and her joining the insurance adjuster's pack for ... insurance... purposes, after this, werewolves were dropped. So, this book was the best look at the way werewolf packs worked in her world. I liked it because there was one part of the book where it was clear that the lead female of the pack had as much power as the male leader. And in other books, there were female pack leaders as well. But the series became very much about Rachel Morgan, her love life and how she was so special. I read until the last book, but left feeling very unsatisfied as a reader. But this wasn't that bad of an adventure! I especially loved Jenks in this book. Jenks is one of my favorite characters in the entire series. This was "his" book so to speak.

4. Moon Called by Patricia Briggs

Mercedes Thompson is part Native American, part mechanic and all coyote shifter. When a scruffy werewolf teen ends up at her auto shop looking for a quick job and a place to sleep, she helps him because of the werewolves that raised her. When his dead body ends up on her doorstep. She goes looking for who killed him and ends up getting entangled again with the man she thought she loved and had to leave them to get away from it all.

Moon Called was a promising first book, some Native American anachronisms aside. (Becca did a better review of this than I ever could.) As far as the series went, since Mercy lived right next door to a werewolf and later ended up dating him (and I won't spoil whether that worked out or not) the books had plenty of werewolf story lines. And if you like your werewolves to be OCD barely controlled anger management monsters controlled by the patriarchy then sure, this is the series for you. Sure, there were times Mercy tried/tries to address the problem of male dominant packs but that doesn't and isn't the focus of the books. Most of the books are how Mercy somehow gets involved in another species like vampire or fae's trouble despite the fact she's a relatively low powered coyote shapeshifter. There's no real reason why Mercy is "special" and everyone wants her, she just is. These werewolves have absolutely no basis in any sort of wolf science. Being the series is so werewolf focused, it started to drive me bonkers after a while. I gave up when another "bad thing" happened to Mercy after 10 books. (The Rape happens in book 3 btw. Just a warning.)

5. Master of Wolves by Angela Knight

Officer Faith Weston, head of the Clarkston PD K-9 department is still reeling from losing her previous dog. She's hoping that an all business front and a new dog will help her move on and keep the attention of her lewd boss away from her. Her new dog Rambo was big and tough and didn't give her any crap. Too bad Rambo was more than he seemed. Jim London, bounty hunter and werewolf, is certain that the murder of his friend Tony has been covered up by the Clarkston police department. There's only one way to find out and that's to go undercover and his dog form is perfect for the job. Faith Weston though is bringing out the animal in him.

Okay, yes, spoiler alert, Master of Wolves is a romance novel. I don't read a lot of these and when I do they tend to be primarily fantasy focused. I've read Terry Spears (one book and no more, no, never again, bad wolf science, BAD,) Thea Harrison and a few others, but Angela Knight was the one I picked up back in 2006 when looking for werewolf novels to read. There are a few moments of "I don't know what Angela Knight was thinking" when it comes to the scenes about Jim being a dog and... thinking like a man hound dog about Faith and later Faith seems okay with it? Maybe it was supposed to be funny but, yeah. 4 of the 9 books in Angela Knight's series focus on werewolves and for the most part they are pretty much very formulaic romance novels and the werewolf pack dynamics were once again patriarchal and based on bad wolf science. Really, it was more the fact that this book was focused on werewolves and solving a mystery and using all the forms that the werewolf had to do it that stood out to me.

Five different books, five different treatments of werewolves, though most are the same "werewolves are monsters" based on no good modern science about wolves. But they each had different facets that got me thinking about how I would write a werewolf focused novel if I ever wrote one. Then I did and it's called The Lone Prospect, available in ebook (3.99) and paperback (7.99) on Amazon.

#books #werewolf books #werewolf #werewolves #werewolf fiction #werewolf novels #fantasy #paranormal romance #urban fantasy

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klaineownsmysoul · 5 years

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hello. i've just started glee (lol i know i'm super late) and i'm obsessed with klaine. could you explain why you don't like season 6 klaine? should i not watch it

First off - welcome to the Klaine fandom! Its never too late to join. I’m pretty sure as long as this show is streaming somewhere, new people will be discovering it all the time. I myself am notorious for wandering into a show after 3 or 4 seasons - Modern Family, Supernatural, 24 - are some prime examples of shows I was late to the party to and then lost my mind catching up on. Secondly - congratulations on having excellent taste! 😉 Klaine is really the only thing worth remembering Glee for.

With regards to your question about season 6? Well, I’m not sure where you are in terms of episodes and seasons and I don’t want to spoil anything for you if you don’t want to know, so consider the rest of this post as one giant spoiler. I would also never want to dissuade someone from watching, so please keep in mind this is just my opinion on things. I watched through to the end as did all of my fellow Klainers here so its doable. Its just not the easiest or prettiest thing.

**********Spoilers below************

I think for me, the word that comes to mind most and sums season 6 up best is waste. They were utterly and completely wasted in those final 13 episodes. These were going to be the last eps we were going to get with them and my reaction week after week was “tick tock bitches, where’s my Klaine?” Their storyline - if you can even call it that - went nowhere. People’s opinions on season 6 varied - some liked it, some like me loathed almost every moment of it, some disliked it as it aired but have mellowed since - but I think one thing we could all pretty much agree on is that no one wanted to go back to Lima. Doing that erased any forward momentum they gathered during the last half of season 5 episodes when they finally dumped all the dead weight holding this show back and concentrated solely on an NYC arc. As off kilter as those eps felt Klaine-wise, at least they were interesting and a move in the right direction. Watching Blaine waste away in Lima alone for all of season 4 and then ¾ of season 5 pissed me off to no end. It shouldn’t have taken so long to get him and Kurt back in the same place and I’m not going to get off on a rant here about how they never should have been separated in the first place. I could write a dissertation on how that one decision - de-aging Blaine and making him a junior - was the dumbest fucking thing this show ever did. And considering the dumbass decisions this show made along the way, that is really saying something. But I digress. They ended season 5 in such a good place relationship wise that to decide to break them up again in the season premiere and then have their story grind to a halt for 7 episodes before they got married was a knife to my heart week after week. Breaking them up in a cold cruel flashback was bad enough. Having Blaine be so upset that he was kicked out of the school he worked so hard to get into, his so-called friends forgot all about his existence and he had nothing and no one to lean on so he had to move back home to Ohio was terrible. But the worst of the worst - Blaine and DK. That was an unforgivable sin as far as I’m concerned. It goes against everything that makes Blaine Blaine and was nothing but a giant glowing middle finger from RIB to the Klaine fandom. To bring back a character that was not missed, not even mentioned during season 4 and only once in season 5 and placing him in a romantic relationship with the soulmate of the boy he physically and emotionally abused for months on end was in the most appalling taste possible. It was deliberately aimed at our fandom by RIB as the ultimate “fuck you.” Nothing more because they are petty little assholes. Every single time he was within 50 feet of Blaine or god forbid touched him, my soul died a little. The Blaine I know and adore would never ever ever in a million years look at him and see anything but the guy who drove Kurt to Dalton because he feared for his life. And Kurt? He realized he fucked up, left NYC to come back to Lima for Blaine and then…nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. He spent more time as Rachel’s god damned cheerleader than he did trying to woo Blaine back, which would have been the only redeeming piece of them being apart. Because it had to come from Kurt. He was the one who ended things; Blaine never wanted to leave. So the apology and reasons and the heartfelt declarations of love that we are accustomed to coming from Blaine had to come from Kurt to make this worthwhile. But sadly, like every other aspect of season 6, they fumbled this too. Badly. They danced around each other awkwardly for 7 episodes and nothing was accomplished or moved forward. I can’t get into an angry rant here about their wedding; I will be here all damn night. I have made my feelings crystal clear about that already during many a rage post, but let’s just say that ep may be the biggest disappointment I have ever experienced tv wise. Nothing was theirs, nothing about the wedding had anything to do with them as a couple. They were a throw in and then thrown aside just as quickly. Their 30 second “reunion” if you can even call it that after 7 eps of pure hell was yet another slap in the face. Blaine’s “there’s no one else” was everything that he needed to hear from Kurt and a small novel of explanation more. But no. We weren’t gifted with one of those trademark heart to hearts that we got during season 3; those convos that separated them from every other couple on this show and made me believe that even though they were so young, they really were meant to be. And then once they were married, they disappeared. Sure they were around physically, but that’s it. Dalton burns down and Klaine is given fuck all to do story-wise. A place that held so much importance for them as a couple was destroyed as a plot device and their reaction was limited to Blaine’s sad puppy eyes at the beginning of the ep. We got one sentence from Kurt in some ep I can’t remember about Blaine getting into NYU for the next semester and that was the extent of their future plans. They never had a conversation about moving back and what they would look like, what that would entail in terms of living arrangements and how they would do better as a couple now that they know what they have and how much they don’t want to lose each other again. Nothing, Season 6 should have built upon 5x20 and culminated in their wedding. We should have gotten wedding planning and vows and honeymoon destination discussions and ring shopping and they should have had a wedding that reflected who they are as a couple. It should not have been a means to end so Glee could show off their super awesome double gay wedding that managed to unite 2 fandoms that generally don’t get along in their utter dislike. Congrats - RIB managed to craft an ep where 2 fan favorite couples got married that was panned by both fandoms. That takes a special level of obliviousness.

More newbies introduced in season 6 that no one needed and just took up valuable time that could have been put to Klaine or wrapping up the stories from the already bloated original cast. I wasn’t going to invest myself in characters with an expiration date, so spending endless time on them was time I wasn’t going to get back. Everyone and their mother propping Rachel up and telling her how great she is, how much of a star she is, and how nothing that’s happened to her could possibly be her fault because she is perfect was infuriating. Pointless duets between her and Sam when we all knew their weird sudden relationship wasn’t going anywhere. Having Mr. Schue and Coach Sue getting as many duets as Klaine did during season 6 is a sentence I should never type but I just did. Neither Kurt nor Blaine getting a solo at all. My god, how the fuck did that happen? Why did that happen? It was like they went out of their way to screw Kurt and Blaine as individual characters and and as a couple. Having an entire episode centered on some bratty preteen who sang more than Klaine did. Having 2 episodes without Kurt and Blaine at all and the only reason they threw Blaine into the 2009 flashback was because people flipped the fuck out at the idea of him not being in a 3rd episode out of 13.

There’s a reason why during 3 @comewatchklaine rewatches, the only full ep from season 6 we watched was 6x13, the series finale. Some kind soul pulled together the Klaine bits from eps 5 and on and all of that was only about 40 minutes long. 40 minutes. 40 minutes worth of Klaine in like 7 episodes and that doesn’t include the first 4 because those were a complete waste. The locker scene and flash forward were the only bits that felt authentically Klaine to me. That is what I choose to remember because the rest of it taints this show to me.

So long story long, that is why I loathe and despise season 6 as a whole. I’m sorry I don’t have more positive things to say. Please don’t take my words as a reason to skip the end - if you want to watch, go ahead. I would never want to be why someone missed out on something they might enjoy. Season 6 could have and should have been amazing; so amazing that saying goodbye to them would have been heartbreaking. Instead, I was glad I got to see them get married and that they got the happy ending they deserved, but that was about it. If that’s how little this show thought of them at that point, I was glad to see it end. I will always be grateful that it gave me Klaine because I will love them always. I will never forgive them, though, for the appalling way they were treated and its why I make a concerted effort to avoid anything RIB has a hand in now and in the future.

#klaine #still hate season 6 with a fiery passion #I guess not enough time has healed this wound #anonymous

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jcmorrigan · 4 years

Text

Little Coincidences

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) This is the one where I’m REALLY banking on no one who went to high school with me following me on Tumblr right now, because I get into some personal-ish stuff here that was very specific to my graduating class. I just...wanted my current f/o to show up a ghost from my past. And what are f/o’s for, if not that?

***

It started when Giovanni ran past me, pressed a marker into my hand, and yelled, “MARKER FIGHT!”

Yes, there is context. I wanted to simulate the exact sense of confusion for you that I felt when he did that.

To be clear, it was during down time in the “evil lair” that our sector of Blasters had taken over – a public library that had been defunded by the city but never torn down, so really, it was a bunch of empty bookshelves (where you could occasionally find an old and really weird book they’d missed on the clear-out) where no one would think to look for us because this entire building was basically a health hazard. We were only about ninety-five percent sure there wasn’t asbestos in the walls.

Also, if I’ve talked before about the mall incident, or the kiss before the skyline – this was before that. A lot before that. Back when I knew I liked Giovanni in the romantic sense, but he wasn’t exactly aware of that, nor did he really like me in that way. No, this was when I was a pining idiot and we were just friends.

At which point he shoved a marker into my hand.

“What the fuck?” I asked.

“MARKER FIGHT,” he repeated, as though that explained everything.

The worst part was that it actually did.

See, I hadn’t wanted to say it at that time, but it frightened me. I’d seen this done before, in one very specific place. How had he known? “Just to be clear,” I said deliberately, “this is that game where each of us wields a marker of a different color, we LARP it out, drawing on someone is a ‘wound,’ and we tally the winner by who has the most of their color on everyone else?”

“Good. I was worried I’d have to explain the whole thing to you. Now we can skip the tutorial phase and go right to the EVERY-BOY-FOR-HIMSELF RIVALRY!” He let out a raucous and malicious-sounding cackle for about thirty solid seconds before telling me, “You get a ten-second head start.”

I wasted no time bolting away from him, darting at random zigzags through the shelves to avoid any other Blasters who were playing. Then I heard the triumphant scream of “TIME IS UP, COMPOSER!”

At which point I almost ran into Ben.

“Oh, SWEET!” he cried, raising a red marker high. “Maybe this is how I finally get the nickname ‘Stabby’!”

I screamed as he put a red mark across my forehead. I then retaliated, drawing a line of cobalt-blue down his ear as though lopping it off.

“MY EAR!” Ben screeched. “SHE VAN-GOGHED ME!”

I used his cries to dart away around the shelves…right into the same area as Crusher.

“So,” he growled, raising his lime-green marker. “It’s come to this…ROMANTIC RIVAL.”

“Don’t try me right now,” I warned, showing him my deep-blue pseudo-dagger. “I’m armed and dangerous.”

“I think the only way to settle our mutual affections for the Boss is to duel to the death.”

“So you have chosen death, then.”

It was rather obvious why Crusher and I didn’t really get along most days. However, for a few minutes, we kind of forgot that we were supposed to hate each other. I managed to leave several long blue lines up Crusher’s arms, screaming “SUBMIT! SUBMIT!”, until suddenly I was pinned down, getting green scribbled down my entire face as Crusher roared, “SURRENDERRRRRR!”

From a row away, Ben groaning, “Come onnnnn, you know I have dibs on ‘Stabby’! Don’t ruin this for me!”

Suddenly, Crusher’s eyes widened; “I’VE BEEN HIT!” He rolled over onto his back, making exaggerated, dramatic death noises.

“COMPOSER!” Spike, the one who’d perpetrated the fatal silver blow, extended a hand to me. “TEMPORARY ALLIANCE!”

I let her help me up just in time for Flamethrower to skid into the area, striking several cheerleader-precision poses with flair as he brandished his fire-orange marker.

“AVENGE MEEEEEE!” Crusher yelled.

Flamethrower’s cheerleading practice was put to good use. Spike and I combined couldn’t stymie him; he danced circles around us, and our skin displayed orange marks of his prowess. Meanwhile, Crusher changed “death” positions five times, making louder groans each time to try and get attention.

“CRUSHERRRRR!” this from Darkstar, who’d just skidded onto the scene. “NOOOOOO! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?”

“THEY DID IT!” Flamethrower jabbed his marker at Spike and myself.

“HE DID IT!” we yelled, pointing back at him.

“FLAMETHROWER!” Darkstar accused. “HOW COULD YOU?”

“ME? BUT – “

“THIS MEANS WAAAAAAR!”

As Team Composer finally got the upper hand on Flamethrower, Darkstar paused to whisper to me, “I know one of you two got him, but I’ve been waiting for WEEKS to get Flamethrower back for eating my pudding out of the staff lounge.”

We didn’t argue.

Behind the shelf, Ben yelled, “Oh, where was this when you found ME stabbed?”

We all froze when the sound of a running motor alerted us to the impending horror.

“…Please tell me Boss decided to bring his Vespa into this to spice it up,” I said, voicing what we were all thinking. “Please, please, please tell me it was NOT hijacked by – “

Our worst fears were confirmed when Car Crash came driving Giovanni’s scooter around the corner at top speed, his marker taped to the handlebars; “BEEP BEEP, FUCKERS!”

All of our rivalries were gone. We screamed and ran as one herd of panicked cattle, trying to get as far away as possible from Car Crash on a stolen motorized vehicle. At some point, Ben ended up in our crowd. I didn’t bother asking.

As it turned out, we were all playing right into the hands of the enemy. We hurried to the circular area around the children’s info desk only to find the area quickly filling up with a thick mist. Mist that smelled…suspiciously delicious.

“NO!” I screeched. “MISSION ABORT! MISSION – “

It was too late. We were trapped in the Fog of Lost Souls.

“BOSS, NO!” Crusher dropped to his knees. “SPARE ME! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!”

“I LOVE YOU MORE!” Spike screeched. “SPARE ME INSTEAD!”

I couldn’t even see either of them. Somehow, we’d all gotten horribly separated. The distinct sound of Car Crash running the Vespa into the info desk and groaning, “Aw, man!” resounded.

The maniacal laughter I’d heard earlier when gifted my weapon sounded again, but louder, and from on high – he was standing on top of one of the bookshelves. “YOU POOR, SIMPLE FOOLS! …WhoIloveverymuchandhateinsultingbutthisisaroleplay. YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO YOUR OWN DOOM! Alliances and loyalty mean nothing in this bloodthirsty war! NONE OF YOU SHALL BE SPARED! TELEPORTS RAPIDLY BEHIND EVERYONE!”

I’m half convinced he actually did teleport this time, because the screams sounded from everyone right in order of one another; somehow, Giovanni was able to locate each of us within his fog and strike out, drawing glitter-gold wounds on each of us in strategic locations. I could feel the cool ink swipe hard across the back of my neck.

I did the only thing one could do, which was to drop to my knees and scream in faux anguish. Then slump to the floor as if well and truly decapitated.

When the fog cleared, it turned out all of us had had the same idea, lying strewn about like a murder scene. Even the Vespa had been drawn on in metallic gold ink in the confusion and was lying toppled.

Atop the info desk, Giovanni laughed triumphantly, hoisting his marker to the ceiling. “YOU ARE DEALING WITH NO MERE MORTAL! THIS WAR WAS LOST THE MOMENT IT WAS BEGUN!”

“Would it be foul play to act like we were all just playing dead and then rush him at once?” I muttered.

To my surprise, it was Crusher of all people who answered back, “No, it wouldn’t.”

We all knew what we had to do.

“Hey – “ Giovanni nearly fell back off the desk. “Boys – no – YOU’RE ALL DEAD – “

I yelled “FAKEOUT!” at the same time that Spike yelled “MUTINY!” and Ben yelled “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!”

We charged, climbing up onto the desk. It was your standard library info desk – at least standard to all the ones I’d seen – meaning it was semicircular in design. Giovanni fell back onto the floor right in the middle of the circlular area. After a brief pause in which he assured us, “I’m fine; please continue,” we vaulted over the desk en masse and drew on every bit of exposed skin to the sounds of his tortured screams.

It was the most fun I’d had on the Blasters since becoming a Blaster-adjacent independent contractor villain. However, I still couldn’t shake how haunting it was that I had already known the rules of marker war. There was no way – I hadn’t gone to school with any of the Blasters, and my family hadn’t even started out in Sweet Jazz City. And I wasn’t sure at all how to address this.

***

The second incident was also in the library, a few days later. I was heading into the employee lounge (which had originally, when it was a functioning library, been…an employee lounge) with my phone so I could make a highly sensitive business call about appraising a hijacked load of game consoles, followed up by a dentist appointment I’d been putting off.

One minute, I was strolling into the lounge, strutting like any villain would, phone in hand. And the next, I was sitting on the floor, heart racing with adrenaline, someone’s scream ringing in the air.

It took me a moment to realize that scream was mine.

It was followed up by laughter – a slowly building wheeze into an outright chortle. “Composerrrrrr! I knew you’d freak, but not like THAT!”

I replayed the events in my mind. What had happened in that missing flash was that someone who’d been hiding behind the door frame had leapt at me and jumpscared me while I had been on my way into the lounge.

Not just any someone. No, one very specific fanged, pink-haired ball of energy.

“GIOVANNI…POTAGE,” I growled, slowly turning my head to regard him.

He had tears in his eyes now from laughing so hard. “You should’ve seen your face,” he squeaked. “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

Well, I’d always wanted to hear that from him, but not in that context.

“I…am going…to kill you,” I growled.

With an “Eek!”, Giovanni realized he needed to run, and he did so.

I needed a weapon. The fridge was the first thing I saw. Throwing open the door, I saw a pack of pudding cups labeled “DARKSTAR’S (don’t touch, Flamethrower!!!”). And nothing else.

I did not feel sorry for Darkstar one bit.

Armed with chocolate pudding, I barreled through the rows of shelves, looking for my wayward boss. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t entirely angry. I wasn’t that angry at all. But when your crush jumpscares you, that is just not something you let go without having some fun.

I happened upon him behind the first-floor stairway, where I backed him up against the underside of the stairs. “NOT THE FACE!” he screeched as he put up both arms.

And I lost resolve.

When a few seconds had passed and Giovanni found himself not pelted with pudding, he asked, “Hey, what gives?” as though legitimately frustrated with me. “You caught me! Now you gotta dish out what I gave to you! Geez, did you forget everything I told you about villainy and revenge?”

“This isn’t right,” I muttered. “Sorry for wasting your time. I’ll go now.”

I hadn’t meant it to sound that melodramatic. Anyway, I turned on a heel to return the pudding to its home.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!” Giovanni seized my wrist as I turned away, and I felt my heart flutter. “Composer, this isn’t like you! Where’s the vicious femme fatale I mentored into villainous perfection?”

I froze. “Actually doing anything about the jumpscare is more effective at scaring people off than the scare itself, believe it or not.”

“What the hell? What even is that crap? Just get me back already! Stop being weird!”

Maybe, just maybe, I’d gotten this all wrong.

So I started slowly and deliberately unwrapping the lid of the first pudding cup right there in front of him.

“Now RIGHT IN THE FACE!” Giovanni encouraged.

I gave him a quizzical look.

“Come onnn, Composer! I don’t have all day!”

So I slopped the pudding onto his face halfheartedly.

“Seriously?” he sighed. “You can do way better than that.”

“You’re right,” I realized. “I can.”

So I smacked the second one onto his nose, full stop.

“Now THAT’S what I call some DELICIOUS VENGEANCE!” Giovanni laughed. “But seriously. I have things to do. Important, evil things.”

“Okay. I still have to make those calls.”

“In the lounge?”

“Yeah.”

“…Could you do me a favor and get me a soda from the gas station across the street first? I’m thirsty and decaffeinated.”

I shrugged, rather confused but not about to be rude about it. “Sure. Be right back.”

“I’ll come pick it up from you in the lounge.”

It wasn’t until I was repeating my steps that I realized the ruse. “Oh, no fuckin’ way,” I muttered as I approached the lounge.

I shook the plastic soda up good and hard. Then chucked it into the lounge.

“HYEEEAH!” Giovanni yelled as he revealed himself to scare an inanimate bottle of soda. “…Wait.”

“REALLY?” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

“It was hilarious!” Giovanni argued. “You’re the best person to scare!”

“I do need to actually get some work done today, you know.”

“Fiiiiine,” Giovanni sighed. “I’ll leave you alone. Just – “ His eyes widened as he thought of something. “Hey, you don’t mind me hanging out in here while you make your calls, do you?”

Just me and the object of my affections hanging out alone in a room? What was he playing at?

“See,” he went on mischievously, “if you’re in here making a call like nothing’s wrong, and another Blaster sees you from the outside of the door…”

“They’re going to assume there is absolutely no one waiting to scare them behind it,” I realized. “You’re a fucking genius, Boss.”

“I know.”

“Deal.”

As I took my seat, bringing out my phone, Giovanni had retrieved the soda bottle. “I am pretty thirsty, though – “

“BOSS, DON’T – “

The minute he opened the cap, it exploded into a geyser that soaked him.

I couldn’t make my call for a solid fifteen minutes due to laughing too goddamn hard.

***

The camel’s back broke when we were alone together at the strategy table, going over some reconnaissance notes I’d brought back from a surveillance mission.

“So anyway, I think we have the best chance from one of these three windows,” I explained, cycling through flash cards I’d taped photos to. “We could test for alarms by chucking a good old-fashioned brick through the glass.”

“Or a bottle of soda that was shaken up,” Giovanni teased.

I laughed. And also flushed. I hated that he was so goddamn oblivious, sometimes.

“I mean, it’s practically your specialty!” he argued, leaning back in his chair and setting his ankles on the table, crossing them, one over the other.

The problem was that it was Casual Friday. Which was not an official Blaster protocol, but rather something that Giovanni himself had developed for this specific faction. He’d thought it would improve morale, and he was right. I myself had resorted to a pair of sweatpants and a band T-shirt that didn’t match. He was wearing a pair of battered jeans and a favorite gray sweater of his, edged in white faux fur. That much I had known.

I hadn’t seen his shoes yet.

And right before my eyes, one over the other, he crossed a pair of red Converse high-tops.

The strategy meeting was abandoned. I slammed my flash cards on the table, rising up and yelling, “WHO TOLD YOU?”

“OKAY, I ADMIT IT!” he screamed, looking like I’d gotten him with his hands in the cookie jar. “BEN RATTED HIM OUT BECAUSE BEN’S A SNITCH!”

“HOW. DID BEN. KNOW ABOUT HIM?”

“BECAUSE HE WAS IN THE LOUNGE THAT DAY AND SAW HIM TAKING IT!”

I flinched. “We’re not on the same page, are we?”

“You’re…not asking me about how Ben ratted on Flamethrower for taking Darkstar’s pudding, and I told Darkstar because I thought it would be funny to start shit?”

I wasn’t really sure where to take that. “…No.”

“Thennnnnn what are we talking abouuuuut?” His voice rose a little bit on every word to express his utter confusion.

I sighed heavily. “So you didn’t hear anything about my high school?”

“No.”

“Nothing. Not a thing.”

“Composer, I have no idea where this is going.”

I sat back down. “This is a complicated story. You don’t wanna – “

Instantly, Giovanni had repositioned, leaning across the table excitedly. “IS THIS WHERE I GET TO FINALLY HEAR ABOUT THE DARK AND TRAGIC PART OF YOUR BACKSTORY THAT DROVE YOU TO A LIFE OF CRIME?”

I found myself smiling. “I mean, my parents aren’t dead ghosts. I gotta have some raison d’etre, right?”

“Tell me. Tellmetellmetellme.”

I couldn’t look him in the eye. “So…when I was in high school, there was this…guy.”

“Ooh. This sounds promising.”

“And I really wanted…”

Oh, God. I couldn’t tell Giovanni that I was acting this way because of someone I’d had an obsessive crush on. Then he might make the connection that I had a similar one on him. (I had greatly overestimated how canny Giovanni could be about such things. This was back in the day when you could tell him upfront you loved him more than life itself and he wouldn’t get it.)

“…to be his friend.” And sadly, that was probably the heart of it, more than the romance aspect itself. “He was very loud and weird. But in a good way. Or so I thought, anyway. Not like I was alone, either. Everyone in my school wanted to be near him. EVERYONE. When he changed school districts our last year, there was literally a CROWD of girls around him at his locker begging him to tell them contact info. While I sat several feet away, pretending to read my book, hoping that he’d notice me for NOT being part of the crowd. What a load of bullshit. Then, of course, there are so many guys who claimed to be straight and hung around him just a little too closely…he was that pretty. He was REALLY pretty. And he was smart and he was charismatic and he was fun and…he just…he never wanted to interact with me. He’d throw me just enough of a bone to keep the flame alive, and then act like I wasn’t even real. Probably because I was super dumb and immature back then. Like, way super dumb. I would try to play along with his stunts and he’d blow me off. I finally became disillusioned when he…broke a rule, later on. It doesn’t matter. It was dumb. But I told myself he’d crossed a moral event horizon. I let myself believe it was that one incident for years. …It was never about that. It was about how I wanted to be close to him for years, and he wouldn’t let me in, and he wouldn’t completely shut me out, either. Though maybe that’s my fault for not just…walking up to him and asking him to be my friend. I’ve always been chickenshit.”

“So…what makes you think I know about him?”

Giovanni’s tone struck me as strangely sympathetic. I chanced looking into his eyes –

Oh, God. Wrong move. How had I never noticed they were that brilliantly pink before? I mean, I had known they were pink, but this was like having a rose-colored spotlight turned on me. And were those little gold flecks in the iris? Or was my crush-filter just seeing things?

But once I stopped seeing the trees, I got a good look at the forest. I couldn’t remember having seen Giovanni so pensive. So concerned, yet in a way that wasn’t over an injury sustained by a teammate or the impending arrival of the police. He was genuinely getting sad off this story.

“…Because the little quirks I fell for him for are just weirdly similar to the stuff you’ve been doing this week,” I admitted. “He and his posse did marker war all the time. I think his was red? I always wanted to play in the marker war. It looked like they were having so much fun, and I wanted to face off against him. And then the jumpscare. He did that to me, once. Almost exactly the same way you did. That’s where I learned the tactic of throwing an inanimate object through the door. He got me good, and I got mad, and then we never talked about it, if he thought it was funny or what. I thought maybe he thought I was ACTUALLY mad, and that scared him off.”

“So THAT’S why you didn’t exact your chocolatey revenge.”

“Bingo. I was just terrible at talking about my feelings, so I just insulted him a lot instead of being honest. It was probably all my fault. And the shoes. He had a pair like that. Exactly like that. I used to try and get his attention by…” I let out a long, deep sigh. “Telling him they looked like they were run over by a ketchup truck.”

“That’s not a bad one-liner.”

“‘KETCHUP TRUCK’ ISN’T A BAD ONE-LINER?” I shook my head. “Anyway. I dunno. I can never figure out if he was just an ass or if I was just…” I sighed. “These are just coincidences, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Giovanni confirmed. “They are. I thought I invented marker war. If you ever see this guy again, tell him I gotta sue him for the rights. And I wear these shoes ‘cause they’re devil-may-care and hot-rod red, keeping my aesthetic suitably edgy even when out of uniform. …They’re also comfy.”

“So I just told you all that for no reason. Like a dumbass. It isn’t even that great of a tragic backstory, is it?” I was laughing then, to try and cover up how absolutely sheepish I felt. “You didn’t need to know any of that, and nowwwww it’s all awkward.”

“Not awkward. Just…really confusing.”

“How so?”

Giovanni gave me a dramatic shrug; “Why didn’t he wanna hang out with you? You’re GREAT at marker war! You fit right in! And you’re honestly the most fun person I’ve ever scared! You think any of the boys freak out that hard? That was hilarious! You’d better watch your back now, because you’ve given me an incentive to try and do it SO much more.”

I wanted to make some kind of snappy retort about throwing soda bottles. However, it felt like I was receiving a catharsis long overdue. Maybe it didn’t matter who was wrong and who was right, back then. Because now, I had someone who did want to have fun with me.

Just as a friend, I thought. But maybe that was all that mattered, and the crush could be dealt with later.

“I was so much worse back then,” I tried to argue. “I was hyper.”

“So you mean you were even MORE fun?”

I almost wanted to cry.

“Whoa, hey, hey, hey!” Seeing the perturbation on my face, Giovanni rushed around the table, lightly putting his hands on my shoulders as he knelt beside my chair. “You’re plenty fun to hang with, Composer! Every day, I’m really glad I helped you get started in the villain biz and invited you into the lair! I mean…back when I was in high school and I tried to do stuff like that for fun, nobody really paid attention to me, either, and I would’ve KILLED for someone to actually think I was cool instead of just…some weirdo who wore capes to school and drew original supervillain characters for all my art projects.”

“You wore a cape?” I asked. “That is so cool!”

“Yeah, well, no one said that THEN.”

“But it was! Now I’m kinda wishing we could’ve gone in the same graduating class.” And also wishing that he would never take those hands off of me, ever.

“NOYOUDON’T,” he said hurriedly. “Because I was…ummmm…I was a juvenile delinquent, and you were obsessed with rules! Yeah! And I just…wasn’t the person you’d want me to be.”

I wouldn’t figure out until a later discussion what that meant, truly, and it had nothing to do with breaking or following rules. But that doesn’t have to be tread upon now. “Actually, you’re right. Better things happened the way they did.”

“So what else did that loser not do with you for fun?”

“He was the most popular kid in our entire school,” I muttered. “No one thought he was a loser except me.”

“Yeah, because you actually have a BRAIN in there! And I say he was a LOSER!”

I smiled at him. “I guess…I dunno, I always heard he was great at dancing. And I always wished we could dance. Probably just because of societal and cultural expectations. But I’m a shit dancer. Like, there was this whole movement dedicated to making fun of – where are you going?”

Giovanni beckoned for me to follow him; “Come on!”

“Wasn’t this originally a strategy meeting?”

“Don’t care! We’re breaking the rules, baby!”

I followed him back to the staff lounge, where I watched him struggle to push the table off to the side. He got it out of the way before I could offer my help, then flitted to the radio sitting on the counter by the sink. “Let’s see here…”

I could feel my face filling with heat. “Boss, I don’t think this is a great idea.”

“Shut up. It’s my idea, so it’s a great one.” He was cycling through the stations. “No, no, no, no, no, no – PERFECT!”

What he’d found was an anti-authoritarian anthem currently on the rock top 40. Not exactly what you’d think of as a dance number, but it had enough of a beat that I could work with it if pressed.

Which he would have to do a lot of if he wanted to see me make an idiot out of myself like that.

“Come on!” he encouraged. “Show me some moves!”

“I’ll look stupid!” I hissed.

“SO? You don’t see that stopping me from doing literally anything!”

“…Did you even hear how that sounded coming out of your mouth? Also, this isn’t a dance song!”

“Um, it’s a song, so you can dance to it.” He gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Are you really gonna make me start this?”

“Oh, no, you don’t n – “

“Cut in whenever.”

I wasn’t sure how him starting to dance was supposed to encourage me at all. Because I’ll be honest: he was probably only an average dancer. But I was below average, and looking at him through the crush-filter. He looked like the most graceful living being I’d ever beheld with my two eyes, spinning and rocking in time with the heavy guitar.

I was not going to look good next to that.

Of course, this was not any ordinary man I was dealing with. It was Giovanni Potage. Meaning he had a contingency plan. Without any warning whatsoever, he seized my hand and pulled me into a spin with him, and then, well, I was already in motion, so I had to keep going.

By the third song, it didn’t even feel awkward anymore. I just felt alive. I know I looked like an absolute dork, but I had stopped caring, throwing out arms and leaping about to the hard tempo of every dark anthem. The fourth song was a personal fave of mine – with an incredibly complex guitar riff that just begged a person to go double-time. As I attempted to execute a series of spins to match, I simply lost balance and fell over, hitting the table on my way down.

Stupid. Idiot. Why was I doing this? I’d just made an ass of myself in front of –

Without even really pausing, Giovanni dipped before me, offering his hand. I took it on instinct, then rose, letting him reel me right back in, so glad he’d just hit resume where I’d slammed into pause mode.

At last, I collapsed into the pushed-aside chair, panting heavily. “No more,” I heaved. “I need…to catch…my breath.”

He hopped up to sit on the tabletop beside me. “Now THAT was some fun,” he remarked. “We gotta do that more often.”

This was the same pitfall I’d dropped into so many times back in the day, with the ghost of my past. Making up excuses to get near him. Taking casual opportunities to interact with him without making my real intentions clear. Maybe this whole time, I was afraid that would drive him away.

Maybe this whole time, I’d been thinking of him as a jerkass without actually acknowledging how hard he really blew me off for three fucking years. So what if I wanted to get closer to Giovanni? We were friends. And I liked him. Maybe that would go somewhere. Maybe it wouldn’t. And most importantly, he wanted to dance with me.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We should.”

#selfship #i'm at soup!#and if it turns out any of my classmates IS reading this #i'll eat my personal fan

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