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madrigaljail · 11 months

Text

Cheesus

For @wdtajn: memes/comedy. The rats tell Antonio everything. Pepa doesn't appreciate it.

The sudden drop in temperature and a page-rustling breeze were all the warning Bruno got before his sister interrupted his script-writing session (which had so far consisted of him sharpening all of his pencils and then trying to line them up in order of pointiness). He glanced up, grateful for the distraction from his distraction, and hoped her scowl wasn’t intended for him.

“Bruno, stop being a bad influence on my son."

Well. So much for that. He held up his hands, placating, “Pepa, I don’t know what you heard but whatever it is, Camilo started it.”

“Not that one!’ she said and folded her arms. “I got a note from Antonio’s teacher-”

“Tonito’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!” Bruno declared. It was a reflex.

That gave Pepa pause, which gave Bruno hope that she’d drop it, but instead she formed a cloud and resumed scowling. “The note was to tell me that she had heard my baby, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life, refer to Our Lord And Savior as Quesocristo.”

Bruno was a very good actor. This afternoon he would be playing the part of a marble statue.

“On more than one occasion.” When her brother remained motionless, she pressed on. “He told her he’d heard it from the rats.”

Oh. Shit. “I…don’t see how this has anything to do with me?” Yeah, yeah, it was way too late to beat the weird rat guy allegations but he had to at least put up a fight. “I mean, I’ve been saying for years that they’re really smart, a-and I guess now we know they’ve got a sense of humor? Eh?”

Bruno gave her a toothy grin, hoping it would be enough, but the cloud flickered and thundered.

“He told me the rats heard it from you,” Pepa seethed. “Now, why would you teach them that?”

“That’s a great question, Pepi,” he said, getting to his feet and edging away from the cloud’s reach. “I mean, considering the consequences o-o-of having such an inadvertent influence on a pure, perfect, incorruptible soul, why would I even think to slander Our Lord And Savior by-”

Pepa stepped closer. The cloud expanded. Bruno flinched.

“Because you thought it was funny,” she hissed and jabbed a finger into his chest. It sparked a little.

Bruno let out a desperate, alarmed giggle. “Ha! Well, I mean, it sort of is, yeah? Just imagine those little guys going around like-” He held up his hands in a little rat-like gesture of supplication and cast his gaze toward heaven, then, in a squeaky voice: “Quesocristo, preserve us!”

As he’d hoped, but not exactly expected because he still and always had to be careful with his words, she laughed, and the cloud retracted a little.

“Ok, fine. But, please, Brunito, you need to be more careful. Remember what happened with Lolo and Isa.”

“Hey, now, that was not me, that was all Agustín.”

They grinned at each other, and the sun came out.

“Lunes-”

“Martes-”

“Mierda-coles!”

From somewhere across the house they heard their mother shout “Mind your language!”

(A week later Pepa once again had to confront her brother over the fact that her baby - who had never done anything wrong - now seemed to think bats were rat angels.)

#wdtajn #my writing #ficlet #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #writing memes is hard y'all and idk if this counts #whatever i laughed #seda's blaspheming again

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