#puppet boy is a touch insecure . Maybe a bit more than that.
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the word that best describes yan scaramouche is greedy.
he consumes your every waking moment. this is by design — if your respite was to be found outside him, then he'll deprive you of it. it isn't enough for him to reappropriate your future or lord over you in the present. your past is subject to his scrutiny as well. he dislikes that you existed before he entered your life. it's irrational and he knows it, which irritates him to no end. his emotions are loud, cacophonous interlopers that overrule reason. you push him to extremes but he does little to resist the shove.
this version of you, roughly visualized from hearsay, exists beyond his control. all the power in the world couldn't undo your first crush, first kiss, first love. lightning can't transcend the boundaries of space and time to smite those who brought you happiness he can never replicate. you may be isolated from the outside world, unable to rebel against him outright, yet watching you smile over some memory hurts worse than if you were to tear him limb from limb.
how will he ever compare? so long as you know that you deserve better, he'll never have your heart, he'll only serve as its warden. your past is why you hate him, yet your past is why you're you. erasing that would require erasing the person he cherishes most. it's frustrating; it's humbling.
perhaps you'll never physically be free of him. still, your capacity to wish for escape means you'll never belong to him in your entirety.
#you: *stares out the window and sighs wistfully*#scara: they're thinking about how much they loathe me. how if given the chance they'd have me drawn and quartered.#puppet boy is a touch insecure . Maybe a bit more than that.#yandere scaramouche x reader#yandere genshin impact x reader#scaramouche brainrot#concepts
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she trails one finger down my cheek, sighing. "I'm gonna miss you."
i roll my eyes, lying back against her uncolored bedspread, watching the room settle into the correct form. she always gets like this, right before an Assignment. she takes our Roles a little bit too seriously. my brain is already sloshing with the pacing of the Narrative - a little stilted, a little distant. I'd been in Close Third in the last one, and more poetic. her hands make shadow puppets on the bright pink walls; the room shifts and become covered in art; shifts and become covered in band posters. then back to pink.
she'd been my Best Friend Forever since kindergarten, usually. the oldest we'd ever met each other was in middle school, but that Assignment had been pretty bleak anyway, and she'd only been in-and-out of the picture. I'd barely seen her. i loved her, usually, from the moment i met her - she usually had done something Charming in some way, solidifying our bond for the Audience.
"you're gonna be fine," i tell her. "we'll be back here in no time."
she sighs and curls up next to me, turning so our noses almost touch. she smells familiar, like drying ink. then she smells like mint and mown grass. then she smells like herself, for a second, before she's back to peppermint. "well, you're gonna be fine," she says. "The Main Character always is."
"this again." i roll my eyes a second time. this Assignment feels like it is heavy in the eye-rolling. i had told her before: i'm jealous of her Role just like she's jealous of mine. the Best Friend Forever gets to be quirky, spunky, cute. she always has a personality like a firecracker - even if sometimes that firecracker had a harsh edge to it. in most Assignments, she'd run around, starting - or getting me out of - loads of trouble. she gets to have grand adventures without too much Character Development, which is always painful for me and kind of annoying. she is always Assigned cool interests and hobbies, whereas i can feel my singular Driving Interest crystalizing in my bloodstream. "i think this time i'm Interested in yearbook. Gag me." I mime choking, she wrinkles her little lopsided nose in a giggle.
"you just hate it from stuff that's leftover from your last Assignment, though." she looks up at the ceiling. "you'll be actually Interested soon. in this one i'm gonna have a secret thing about fashion magazines. now that is gag-me."
"remember when you were like, so -"
"like so into porcelain dolls?"
"and i was like, Interested in -"
"you were deep in the paint of effing biology." she wrinkles her nose again, like a little mouse, and i realize i love this new face, the way i love all of her faces. i like this tic she has. sometimes her tics are supposed-to-be-ugly; i love them every time anyway. she's my Best Friend Forever, I can't not love whatever she is. she bites her lip. "oh gosh. i'm already talking like the Assignment. that's quick."
"sounds Young Adult. I haven't been able to swear in, like, a millennia." i don't usually get to swear though, regardless of Audience, since swearing is a Best Friend Forever thing. although sometimes i would be Assigned to just-swear if it was a big-deal kind of moment, and those Assignments were fun. the words would pop out of my mouth like a soap bubble, big and afraid of themselves. and my Best Friend Forever would always look at me, shocked and awestruck.
i loved when she looked at me like that. it wasn't in every Assignment, but it was always so gratifying to be in her eye like that. to be seen, the way a Best Friend Forever sees you.
she takes my hand gently. she's usually a little bit bigger than me, but in this one, she's smaller than average. slim. we're probably going to have a Big Fight about jealousy - whenever she's slimmer, the Audience needs to know she's also Insecure about it. Usually it's the other way around - I'm slimmer, and Insecure that i don't have her curves. in those, she's always "better with boys." until, at least...
like she reads my mind, she sighs again. "I know. i just hate the part where you meet Him."
i'm not startled by how on-the-same-page (ha! maybe i'm Funny in this one) we are. she's my Forever person. the Him changes a lot, but she is a delicate constant. she knows me - even when i'm not-me. or not this me. whatever. "i mean, it might be different this time."
she sits up. i sit up too, disoriented by the strange violence of the action. she pushes the heel of her palm into her cheekbone. "it sucks, you know?"
i can tell by how she wrinkles her nose that she is understating it. i've known her Forever, after all.
nose wrinkle. "we're always the most dynamic and interesting part. you and i, and how we grow up together, and how we interact, and how we try to get over the same things. i know we have a lot of Big Fights, but we always end back up together at the end."
it's a sore subject. i betray her a lot for Him. i can't help it. "i know, but maybe this time - i mean, it's not always ..."
her eyes flash while she turns to me. "you just, like, get caught up in Him. every time. and i have to, like, watch you leave."
"i don't always leave." i feel pouty, suspicious that she is right. it is a Main Character thing to be Right in The End, not a Best Friend Forever thing. i don't always do it the Right Way, but I always end up back here, apologizing to her. she always ends up being okay with it, because i'm always Right.
"you do always leave. and it doesn't make any effing sense, because He never makes sense like we do, you know, like... you both are never - like, your Development with Him, is never like, actually...." she moves her hands around in the air as if trying to find the term, but gives up. "the Audience even thinks it."
I hold my breath at her blasphemy. "don't bring the Audience into -"
she grabs at the roots of her hair. "i'm right, though. you meet Him, and because you are a girl, and you are the Main Character, you love Him, and you forget about me." her hands drop to her lap and her thin shoulders pull forward as if she has been suddenly deflated. the anger all seeping out around her. she's usually not able to stay angry at me long - loving me is her Role.
the air feels heavy between us. thick of something unwritten. i don't know the rules of this one. in the space between Assignments, she can be a little wild. her Role doesn't sink her as deep into the Assignment - she has wiggle room where i don't.
i try to tease her, nudging her with my shoulder. "i didn't realize you had a jealous Assignment this time."
she looks up at me. biting the inside of her cheek. i can see her jaw working against the muscle. "i'm always jealous," she whispers.
"that's natural," i assure her. "it's a Best Friend Forever thing. I'm always jealous, too, just a little. you know that."
"it's because we actually see each other. because we actually know each other. because we're made for each other." she doesn't drop my eyes. her hands take mine again, warm and soft. again, that feeling that she is a familiar love - a long love, a deep love - comes sloshing up inside me. i was made to love her, and i was also made to betray her. in order for the Character Development to work, i have to love her hard, so it hurts when i choose Him. she has to love me hard, too. "it's..." she breathes deep, as if through a choke. i wonder how much longer before we'll be in the Assignment, and unable to talk like this. it can't be much longer at all. "it's just stupid. every time, you see Him, and for no reason, he's just better and you leave and -"
"you know i don't want to hurt you, though!" it's an old argument. i feel the pattern of it, glad to be back on script. "you know i never -"
"you just see Him, and it's like magic, and it doesn't mater that He makes no sense - "
"it's about growing up! it's about Character Development! it's not about you, you know that, i love you, i just always Love Him, and -"
"and i am jealous -" she grabs my face, desperate, her voice thick. the room around us starts to shift, and i can tell by how it is pulling itself together that it's solidifying into the Assignment. someone is writing us into a space. her words are garbled for a second, and i feel the hair on the back of my neck rise as she fights the Assignment.
"we're gonna be okay," i promise, "i'll love you the whole time, you know that, even if -"
when she kisses me, something happens in the pit of my stomach. i've been Kissed many times, by many Hims. it is sometimes electric, dizzying, powerful. it is sometimes cataclysmic. it is sometimes rushed, hurried, overwhelming - sometimes harsh, dominant. i have been Kissed until i saw stars, and Kissed perfect.
this is not that. i don't have words for this. i have no narrative. there is only her, and only me, and no story, her hands on my cheeks. i realize, in the seconds we have - she's crying.
then i am on her bed again, which is pink and purple patchwork, and she is across the room, lying on the floor, kicking her heels up while she reads a magazine lazily. we've known each other from preschool, when she punched someone for stealing my candy. we both got detention - who knew preschoolers could get detention - and we'd be inseparable ever since. she listens to loud music but loves fashion magazines; and i love her.
she's saying something, but my old phone pings, lying on top of the Yearbook editing i'm doing. i look down, frozen. she asks me something, but i can't hear her, staring at the notification on my screen. i don't even notice her getting up to investigate.
her hair tickles my cheek while she reads the phone over my shoulder.
she grins. "oh my gosh." she says. "you got invited to the party, holy guacamole. do you know who's gonna be there? baby, you need to go."
i know i need to. after all, after a little complaining, i am going to go. we will try on all her clothes first. and while i'm there, i'll be a Main Character, and not-quit-fit-in.
and while i'm there, i'm going meet Him. and it will be Magical. for some reason, there are tears pricking at the side of my eyes, even though i have no idea why. this story is funny, and light, and amusing.
she grabs my hand, and she is warm, and familiar, and i feel Insecure that she's so thin. i feel Insecure - and - something - a memory, or a -
"come on," she says, and, for a second, something in her eyes is deeply sad, and the time between us feels like fraying satin.
but then she breaks out into a grin. "i know just what to dress you in. i can't wait. you're gonna meet Him."
#sorry mobile users#this does have a read more but tumblr succcksss#short story#fiction#spilled ink#prose#me: im gonna write a funny post about like#how fucked up straight media is#me: hang on what if i spend 2 hours writing THIS inSTEAD
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Dear Happy
On ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26028052
Summary: There’s a side only Patton knows about.
Trigger warnings: Hurt/Comfort, food mentions, insecurity, depression, lack of motivation, self-deprecating thoughts
A/n: @justmeandmygayships beta'd this for me and if it wasn't for xem there would be a lot of sentences in here that straight up wouldn't make sense so go thank xem by reading xeir fics
I created a character to put Patton through some Angst(tm) and instead Gray and I ended up shipping him with Patton so cheers to that
Patton wasn’t sure why he was the only one who could see him, as he visited Patton the least of all. He wasn’t so much a side, not a function like Morality, or Logic. But he was a very real part of the Mindscape, despite the others not knowing about him.
Sometime after the puppet video, Roman took Logan and Virgil into the Imagination for an adventure. It was Roman’s way of an apology, and a very effective one, at that. A day of being spoiled by a prince in a place where you can do and have anything had a way of winning people over.
Patton stayed behind. They invited him, and seemed sad that he wouldn’t go, but he had to work on his own apology, no matter how many times they insisted it wasn’t necessary. He wanted to.
He spent the afternoon preparing a surprise of all their favourite treats—Lemon poppy seed bread for Logan (with a brand new jar of Crofters), red velvet cupcakes for Roman, and sugar cookies cut into bats, ghosts, and witch hats for Virgil (with a promise to help decorate).
Patton found himself getting lost in the music he put on; he danced around the kitchen, apron twirling around like a swing dress, as he sang loud and off-key. He went on autopilot, sliding the cupcakes in the oven, and kneading the bread dough.
He hadn’t felt so light, so giddy, in a very long time. His stomach fluttered each time he imagined their faces, and he couldn’t help but giggle. He was going to make them so happy.
“Such a lovely sight.”
Patton screamed and whipped around, holding the dough like a shield. The boy in the kitchen leapt back like he was startled. He pressed his back against the wall, and they held each other’s gaze.
“Are you a new side?” Patton shakily lowered the dough, just a bit. I hope not. He’s creepy.
He shook his head.
“Then who are you?” Patton flicked his gaze around, half expecting to see more Thomas look-a-likes pouring into the room.
“I’m…” The boy cleared his throat. “My name is Eden. My function is, well, for simplicity's sake… Happiness.”
Patton blinked. “Happiness?”
“Yes.”
He set the dough down with trembling hands and smoothed down his apron. “Well, I’m… Sorry for the fright. You surprised me. I’m-”
“I know who you are.” Eden smiled a crooked smile, eyes crinkling. “Patton. I’ve been here since the start.”
Patton frowned in confusion. He’d been there the whole time, and he just now decided to show himself? He wanted to be diplomatic, but it was hard to trust him. How did he know Eden was being honest about his function? How did he know he wasn’t just Deceit in disguise?
Eden tisked and raised a pale hand to examine it. His honey-coloured eyes sparkled through his skin, the photo of Roman he was standing in front of showing through his fluffy, dark hair.
“What’s happening?” Patton asked in panic.
“Well…” He laughed weakly. “I don’t stay forever. I guess the scare changed your mood a bit. I really am sorry about that, I wasn’t trying to intrude. It’s just my job.”
“Wait- Wait- Don’t leave!” Patton swiped out to grab Eden’s hand, but he went straight through. “We still don’t know why I’m seeing you!”
Eden faded faster the more Patton panicked. He waved and smiled. “Until next time.”
Then he was gone.
It was a long time before Patton saw Eden again. He kept an eye out, but part of him was convinced he imagined the entire thing. How can someone be in the Mindscape without anyone else knowing about it? Were there other figments? Why could Patton suddenly see him?
And why did Patton miss him?
He spent every day on edge, checking every inch of every room for a glimpse of lavender fabric. It was a month later with no Happiness in sight when Patton settled himself shakily at his desk and pulled out his favourite notepad. It had little cartoon cats all over the pages, the lines pastel blue.
The clock read 2:03. The full moon shone through Patton’s open window, brittle breeze chasing a shiver down Patton’s spine.
Dear Happiness,
His hand hovered over the notepad. What the heck was he supposed to say? ‘I miss you, please come back even though we don’t know each other?’ ‘I want to abuse your function and not care about you as a person?’
Patton shuddered. This was a bad idea.
I haven’t seen you around. Is everything okay?
You should come over. I want to get to know you more. Maybe we can figure out why I can see you.
<3 patton
He waited several weeks before he accepted that he won’t get a response.
One morning, Patton drifted around the kitchen to make breakfast, eyelids heavy and steps slow. He was halfway through when footsteps shuffled behind him.
Patton smiled. “Morning, kiddo!”
Virgil flinched. Patton’s smile faded as Virgil sat at the table, bringing his legs up and propping his head on the table.
“Hey,” Patton said softly. He rested his hands on the sides of Virgil’s face, guiding Virgil to look at him. “Nightmare?”
“Yeah,” he mumbled, eyes downcast. “It was… Worse than usual.”
Patton stroked his soft, warm skin. “You want some coffee?”
Virgil nodded shyly. Patton kissed his forehead and bounced over to the coffee pot, starting a brew. “Breakfast is almost finished, too! Just go ahead and decompress, sweetheart, I got this.”
Patton turned with Virgil’s coffee, and gasped. Eden had his chest pressed to Virgil’s back, arms wrapped around his torso and chin rested on Virgil’s shoulder. He brought a finger to his lips and smiled.
“What is it?” Virgil asked nervously, and Eden started to fade.
“No- Nothing!” Patton hurried over and set down his coffee. “I thought I saw something, but nothing’s wrong, love. There—Made just how you like it.”
Virgil blushed as Eden’s form came back. “Thanks, Dad,” he muttered.
In the middle of breakfast, Eden reached out and rested a hand over Patton’s. A smile crawled over Patton’s face.
After Virgil left, Eden stuck around. Patton stood awkwardly, hands clasped and pressed to his chest.
“So, um…” Patton looked away, face red. “What have you, uh… Been up to? Seen any other figments lately?”
“I got your letter.” Eden smiled sadly. “I can’t just come when you ask, Patton. I come when I’m called.”
Patton’s face crumpled in distress. “You don’t choose where you go?”
“I go where I’m needed.”
Patton bit his tongue. I need you.
“You’ll be okay,” Eden promised. “We’ll talk again soon. Just… Keep on, okay?”
Patton nodded, sniffling. “Yeah.” He forced a smile and straightened up. “Yeah! Of course.”
Eden smiled, then he faded away.
The next few months were difficult. Patton’s mind grew groggy with constant exhaustion, and he found it hard to focus on anything for too long. One time Virgil had to stop him from pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven without a mitt.
He found himself lying awake at night, and sleeping all day. He suppressed the urge to ignore Thomas and the other sides’ summonings, and reminded himself to put on a happy face. No one paid him too much attention or looked too closely. It was stupid, but it brought a deep dread to his stomach.
He was still in bed when they came to check on him. He was half asleep, and didn’t remember answering the timid knocks on his door.
“Pat?” Virgil’s cool hand brushed Patton’s bangs back as the bed dipped beside his hips. “Is everything okay?”
“Hm?” He rolled over, leaning into Virgil’s touch. Virgil chuckled and ran his fingers through Patton’s hair.
“We’re worried about you.” Logan stood awkwardly at the side of the bed, clutching his flashcards. “You’ve shown an increase in symptoms of depression, more so than usual, and… Virgil?”
“We know you’ve been repressing again.”
Patton sat up, face burning. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he mumbled.
Virgil laced their fingers and shook his head. “We all talked about this. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for Thomas. You don’t have to hide it.”
Logan nodded. “Virgil put it perfectly. I have nothing to add.”
A hand touched his back, and Patton jumped. Logan and Virgil looked at him in confusion. Eden’s soft eyes met Patton’s, his hand crawling up Patton’s back and rubbing at the top of his spine.
“Sorry,” Patton mumbled, unable to hide his smile. He squeezed Virgil’s hand. “I just thought I heard something. I’m sorry I didn’t go to you guys.”
Logan hesitantly sat. “If I were you… I’d partake in some leisure activities. Virgil and I can join, if that’ll make it more enjoyable.”
Patton wiped his wet eyes and nodded. “That’d be great.”
Eden followed them into the kitchen. Virgil and Logan helped him bake bread, Eden weaving between the three of them like a satin lace pulling them together.
I can get through. Patton smiled as he pulled Virgil into a dance, one of his favourite songs playing on the radio. I can get through.
xxx
The day after the Phases episode, Patton visited Roman, who’d been holed up in his room all day. He didn’t even come out for food.
Patton knocked on the door with his foot, the plates on his tray rattling together. He yipped as he almost spilled the glass of juice.
“Come in!”
“You mind helping me out here, Ro?”
He shuffled around, and a moment later, he pulled the door open. His eyes lit up. “Cream of broccoli?!” He took the tray happily and settled back at his desk.
Patton startled. Eden sat criss-cross at Roman’s feet, leaning back against the leg of the chair. He waved at Patton cutely.
“Good day, Ro?” He sat at the edge of Roman’s bed, trying not to stare at Eden.
“Mhm!” Roman spoke with his mouth full. “The Phases video gave me lots of inspiration! I’ve been working on a new project all day!”
“Well, you gotta remember to eat, too.”
Roman blushed. “I know, I just didn’t want to lose momentum.” He set his spoon down and wrapped his fingers around the glass. He stared into it with a blush. “Thank you, padre.”
After eating, Roman got back to work. Eden stood behind him with his hands on Roman’s shoulders, gently kneading. Patton should’ve probably left- Even though Roman couldn’t see Eden, he felt like he was intruding on something intimate -but he couldn’t draw his attention away.
Had Eden been with him all day? Was he able to be with multiple sides at once? How did Roman snag him for so long, did Eden like him better?
“You’re overthinking,” Eden murmured, and Patton looked at him in surprise and confusion. He frowned, eyebrows drawn in sadness. “This is why you’re not supposed to know about me.”
Patton got up to kiss Roman on the forehead, take his tray, and leave. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t look back.
Over the next few weeks, he struggled with his feelings. It was difficult to take the others’ advice—His habit of shoving down any bad feelings was more ingrained than he realized. Every time he was upset, he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t and it was fine, until he caught himself. Then he sat there in a kind of stumped limbo. He wasn’t sure what the next step was.
He tried talking to Virgil and Logan about it, but everything they suggested didn’t help much, and he regretted the waste in energy.
He desperately thought back to all the times Eden had visited before. The only thing he could see in common was that he was in a good mood. It was a long shot, but if he could replicate that, maybe Happiness would show.
He settled himself early into bed with hot chocolate in his favourite mug, topped high with whipped cream and sprinkles. He was dressed in soft pyjamas, his weighted blanket pulled over his lap and his favourite show on.
His drink tasted just as good as it always did, and the show pulled giggles out of him throughout the night, but in the back of his mind, all he could focus on was if Eden would show up or not.
He tried all night, but his frustration rose with the sun.
He slumped at his desk before bed, letters messy and words running together.
Dear Happiness,
I miss you.
I’m not sure what happened last night. I guess you must have been busy, helping another side or something. That’s okay. They deserve your help. But I miss you.
What did I do wrong?
-patton
Unsurprisingly, Patton didn’t get a response. He waited a few days before giving up.
Maybe Eden just didn’t like hanging out with him. Maybe he was repulsed by Patton, didn’t think Patton deserved his company.
That was fine.
He didn’t need Eden.
Patton’s eyes fluttered open in the darkness of his room one night. His throat burned, and he groaned when he reached for his empty glass on the bedside table.
He stumbled past the other’s rooms as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He returned with his newly filled glass, and stopped at the top of the stairs. The soft light from Logan’s desk lamp spilled into the hallway through his open door. He wasn’t inside.
Patton’s heartbeat quickened. The bathroom was empty, and Patton hadn’t noticed him when he was downstairs. Is he okay? Did the dark sides do something with him?
His hands trembled as he hurried down the stairs. Deceit’s snake eye, his shimmering scales, flashed in Patton’s mind. His gaze flicked to the spot by the blinds.
His glass teetered on its edge as he dropped it on the table he passed. He threw the front door open, fully intending to cross the street and interrogate the dark sides-
Logan laid in the grass.
Patton pressed his hand to his heart. Idiot. He’s fine.
His mouth creased into a frown. Eden laid next to Logan, hands clasped.
Patton tiptoed back onto the porch steps. One of the old wood panels creaked, and Logan glanced back.
“Oh. Patton.” He propped himself up on his elbow and adjusted his glasses. “Is everything okay?”
He nodded, cheeks burning. “Just wanted to check on you.”
“I’m unharmed.” Logan laid back. “You should join me.”
Patton’s heart fluttered. He shook his head. “Oh, no, I couldn’t-”
Logan looked back, and Patton softened. His eyes were owlishly big behind his glasses, his mouth pulled into a concerned frown.
“I can stay a bit.” Patton sat criss-cross on the soft grass, trying not to stare at Eden. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through the untrimmed blades, the thin slices tickling his palms.
“You don’t need to worry if I’m not in my room at night.” Logan’s eyes flicked between star to star. “I like stargazing. I like the solitude of it. It’s… In honesty, it’s the only calm I get unless I’m working.”
Patton stiffened. “I can leave you alone-”
“I enjoy your company.”
He jumped as soft skin touched his. Eden laced their fingers and whispered, “I miss you, too. Stay.”
Patton blushed and looked away. “I can stay for a bit.”
xxx
As lovely as his night with Logan and Eden was, Patton found his mental health rapidly decreasing. Thomas’s life was spiralling out of control, and Patton desperately tried to keep a handle on things, but every choice he made was a mistake.
His family grew impatient with him. Roman’s creativity was stunted, and Virgil tensed when Patton touched him. Logan was more frustrated than usual—He shut down nearly everything Patton said.
And after the Intrusive Thoughts video, things seemed hopeless.
How had he been so… Wrong? How could he treat them all that way, without even noticing? Was he that bad of a person? Was he corrupting Thomas?
If he rarely got out of bed before, he lived there now. He didn’t get up to eat, only to make dinner when someone requested it of him. Anxiety seeped under Patton’s door from Virgil’s room, and the frustration in the house concentrated in Patton’s room.
Indecision hindered him. He couldn’t get out of bed, because he couldn’t be faced with another day with the potential to fail Thomas, and everyone else in the Mindscape.
And Eden hadn’t visited him in months.
I miss you, too, he had said. He didn’t mean it. He would have shown up by then.
The only time he was able to force himself out of bed was to make a decision he knew he couldn’t mess up. He pulled his hood up and wrapped his sleeves around his palms, trudging across the lawn to the dark sides’ house looming across the street. He crossed the black stone pathway and stopped at the porch, hand raised.
Inside was chaos—Glass breaking, yelling, laughing, fighting. Deceit wasn’t home, then.
He climbed down the steps and circled around to the back. He stretched up on his tiptoes to reach over the black panels of wood and feel around for the gate lock. He sighed in relief when he hit it and it came undone, the gate slipping open.
He took a step into the garden, and voices stopped him.
“It worked!” Remus’s voice was practically a squeal. Patton crept forward and peeked through the leaves of a yellow rosebush. Remus’s hands clasped Deceit’s, bouncing up and down.
“And you’re sure?” Deceit asked. His mouth twitched upwards. “Everything went according to plan?”
Patton held his hand to his mouth as Remus pressed a sloppy kiss to Deceit’s mouth. “Yes! We’re gonna be light sides, JJ!”
Patton inched closer, the new angle revealing Eden hugging Remus’s arm, one hand rested over Deceit and Remus’s.
Anger bubbled in Patton’s stomach. He whipped around, intention of apologizing lost, and stormed back to his room.
He scrabbled for the first piece of paper and pen he could find. He nearly ripped the fragile pages as he scratched ink.
Happiness,
I’m glad you’re enjoying your time with everyone else. I’m so happy for you all. If you ever need me, I’ll be right here waiting, alone. But we both know that won’t happen. We both know you don’t need me, don’t want me, just as the others don’t.
I don’t need you anyway. I don’t need you to help Thomas and I don’t need you to feel okay and I don’t need you to do my job.
I wish we’d never met.
Morality
PS: did you plan this?
xxx
“Pat?”
Patton forced on a friendly face and pulled the door open. It was a few weeks after Janus told them his name, and everyone was tentatively mending relationships. He couldn’t ruin that with his own anger.
“Everything okay, Roman?”
He nodded. “We, uh… Well, we were thinking a movie night. Uh, now.”
Patton blinked. They hadn’t had a movie night since they watched Frozen. “That sounds fun, kiddo.”
“So you’ll come?” Roman smiled sheepishly.
Patton twisted his fingers in his shirt. “If you want me there, I’m there!”
He grinned. “Perfect! Come on, we still have time to vote!”
Roman grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs. Patton’s eyes widened when they stepped into the living room. All of the usual suspects were there- Virgil curled at one side of the couch, Logan in the armchair, plenty of space for Roman and Patton to sit -but three new faces joined them.
Janus and Remus sat on the loveseat, Remus clothed this time. Remus had his legs thrown over Janus’s lap, and Janus looked annoyed but ran his hand up and down his shin subconsciously.
And Eden sat on the floor, back pressed to the couch, in the middle of them all.
Patton settled in the empty seat behind Eden. He didn’t react as Eden said, “I have a good feeling.”
Patton pursed his lips and glanced down.
Eden leaned back and rested his head against Patton’s knee. “Hang out with me tonight,” he whispered.
Patton relaxed into the couch. Remus cackled as he poked at the scales on Janus’s face, who continuously pushed him away. Virgil and Roman argued about Roman tampering with the votes, and Logan took it all in with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
“Okay,” Patton whispered back, unable to stop from smiling. “That sounds good.”
Tag list: @mirror2thespirit thx babe lmao
#patton sanders#that's it that's the tweet#it's all patton babbeeeyyyy#i don't really feel comfortable tagging the others bc they all play important but brief roles lol *shrugs*#listen if i was surfing the virgil tag and a patton centric fic showed up i would be. sad#patton#oc: eden#oc: happiness#virgil writes#and ik it's obvious but yeah this is based off dodie and thomas's song lol#god this concept has been in my head for so long i just couldn't get a cohesive plot out of it#and then i listened to new dodie music and got approximately 545485748534534 ideas at once#and let me know if you like eden bc honestly? what a boy#also jesus fucking christ these are so many tags i haven't done this in a while#let's do a throwback and send analogical bedroom eyes if you've gotten this far#xx
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I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.
You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.
word count: 2, 575.
I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.
Heart squeeze Chest much ow
THERE HE IS
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend.
Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍
I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival
Someone help him, I????
That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk
MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔
bb nooooo
Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.
Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go.
Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss
“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME
oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit
Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.
“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖
I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂
I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear
“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME
ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺
this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on
he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works
FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????
give
him
back
his
card
casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao
ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom
i can feel his exhaustion
me too, my love
step step step step
god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham
and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket
“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho
SUPAH RATS
Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????
HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺
“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”
YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!
go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃
“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”
HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO
FUCK OFF
😡😡😡😡
“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE
Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀
those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺
pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry
foreshadowingggggg ~ *JAZZ HANDS*
ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵
he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk
clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺
okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???
but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious
true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)
THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺
wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a
blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺
when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream
THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.
WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???
23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄
WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY
WOOPS WRONG LYRICS
😂
“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺
doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏
NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE
in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???
lmao fuck these guys
ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.
my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺
i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel
just breathe darling
i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore
ohhhh baby im so sorry
i’d take every single punch if i could
i’d die for you
i wish i could protect you
i wish i could look after you
and take all those hits
and kill those guys for you
im so sorry
sobbingggg
YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU
KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT
yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh
carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities
8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm
DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE
AND THE WIG
RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN
GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO
RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE
THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀
OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP
fuck he’s so hypnotic
the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵
must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face
must kiss
he moves like water
fuck hes so fluid
bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time
im WANT
T POSEEEEEEEE
“i still owe you for that, dont i?”
PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E V E R
D O N T S M I LE
UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood
PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???
but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨
i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees
“thats not funny”
fuck off penny yes it is
I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???
“but i do” god the P O W E R
ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮
chauvinistic pigs can die thanks
his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺
ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe.
he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him
how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????
people only see what they wanna
the Penny imitation is👌👌👌
s m i l e
i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~
smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up
danger sign = neither works
he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺
“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????
ngl arthur’s anger scares me.
anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲
angry bb😭
he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~
that soft please sends me
idk where it sends me lmao
down below probably
BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE
I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???
okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺
hes such a good clown im?????
lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk
arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺
his HUMMING im??? soft?????
his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful
OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????
ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃
“a clown thing?” the s a s s
“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃
if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play
murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g
lmao hes an asshole
arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺
did i say murray???
i meant m u r r a t
🙃🙃🙃
sneaky baby
wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet
🤔🤔🤔🤔
he looks so good in red omggg ~
f o r e s h a d o w i n g
arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!
hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰
“told me what”
ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas
“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃
^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me
the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.
none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too...
his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~
the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭
i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way
sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.
i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.
“i had a bad day”
IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔
THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you
I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you
“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”
NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????
get
that
fucking
gun
away
from
your
face
boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it
im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀
“coming” 😏😏😏
“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs
woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo
randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive
get WRECKED
i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to
ngl i think i have a blood kink...
“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER
ASDFGHJKL
J
O
K
E
R
ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺
my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much
sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr
*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*
ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away
“i love dr sally”
you have a WIFE at home
“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT
he’s so CUTE
omgggg ~
my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS
YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING
“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate
my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao
jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS
im sobbing
ugh fuck this hurts so BAD
youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much
“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS
literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you
ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better
you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what
IN THE WHITE ROOM
“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺
you’re so fucking cute
say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you
i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much.
i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will.
b l o o d s m i l e
=
im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts
angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i see you and your pain. i love you.
i see you, angel.
his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺
i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy
t h a t ‘s l i f e
i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~
them hips dont lie😉😉😉
i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~
i l o v e y o u
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Safe Haven ~10 ( Hybrid Baby Bangtan/ ot7 )
Words: 2.4K
Genre: Fluff with slight Angst, Hybrid! BTS AU
Rating: PG-13
Warnings - None
Summary: Some days just end up horrible.
Safe Haven ~ || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine
══════ ∘◦❁◦∘ ═══════
I checked my watch for the-- most likely-- twelfth time in the past ten minutes I'd been here waiting, all the while tapping my feet to the non-existent music. With a little red-wrapped present sitting idle in front of me, mocking me every time I glance down at it, I bit my lip in consideration.
Was it all even worth it?
Yes. Yes, it was.
He was phenomenal. Everything about him was captivating. From the delicate way, he handled things, to his eye for precision. From the slight hunch to his walk to the mild woody scent he wore. He calmed me, he made me happy and feel like I was more important than just a caregiver. He reminded me that I was more deserving than what I let myself believe. And for that, I was eternally grateful to have met him five years back in a parent-teacher meeting at the Hybrid High for the Gifted.
That is… Until I saw how happy the mated couples, Jin and Hobi were. I had to doubt my own relationship. It wasn't the same, but then again, I was human and incapable of feeling such profound emotions. I wasn't jealous per say. Not of what others in my own home had...or so I have been trying to convince myself. But I know, deep down, in my heart; I've been pining for someone.
Though the kids formed a major part of my world, there's this tiny part of me that longs for someone. Someone more than family, someone more than a friend. Shaking my head from negative thoughts, I looked around the once bustling cafe. A few patrons huddled together like penguins near the window. They looked adorable in their pastel clothes, while I had been constantly wearing mostly black and grey tones for the past few months, reflecting my dark mood.
Guess Monday mornings weren't as busy of an affair as other days. The students and office workers choosing a more commercial setting over the quaint cafe making it harder for the little businesses around in town. The bittersweet aroma of coffee beans helped soothe my jittery nerves yet the mere idea of being stood up eating away what little patience I'd had. But I trusted my instincts.
He seemed good enough. He was good enough. He had a beautiful soul, he was someone I could envision myself spending rest of my life with. And… Yes.
I'd been dating guys. For a while now. But nothing seemed to quite work. For the most part, it was mostly because of me. I was dating guys to distract myself, to tell myself I needed someone. But did I really? Not exactly. I couldn't back then. The boys were of utmost priority to me. I didn't have enough money or time to spend on myself neither did I have the energy to motivate myself enough to actually put an effort in it. For the most part, my heart wasn't truly into it. And I'd decided not to ever do something that my heart didn't want but my brain thought it's a good idea. It probably never is.
Sighing, I shook my head and glared at my watch for moving too slow. And just then I caught a glimpse of bright orange, bordering on neon; pass by the window. Blinking once, twice, thrice… I was flabbergasted. Who'd in this day and age choose to wear something that colorful? Were they trying to replace the traffic signal? Or signal the bears to hunt them?
And then it clicked. It was him. And something was wrong. He wouldn't just be late, neither would he be running across the street, away from me. Letting my half-eaten croissant and a cold cup previously hot cocoa to fend for themselves; I dashed across the checkerboard tiled floor, merely escaping from crashing into strangers and the many trays and cups they carried. Skidding to half with an audible screech from my heels, guaranteeing their demise-- I looked around for a sign of bright orange but couldn't spot anything, anywhere at all.
The door to the cafe shut behind me with a bang. Startled, I yelped and closed my eyes as every eye was staring at me in exasperation and angry frowns. I know, that wasn't quite polite of me in this early of a morning. But I sure had my reasons!
Biting my lips, I looked to my right. As far as I could. And spotted a tiny crowd forming just across the street and sure enough, he was there. With a new purpose, I almost glided across the street. With angry stomps, of course.
I was mad. Not really, I was mostly just concerned, and... I don't even know what I was feeling at the moment. But it was frustrating. He didn't even bother telling me. Was chasing someone and standing in a crowd so important? I waited for about an hour! Or maybe less… It sure felt like an hour to me.
As I reached him. I blinked once, twice, even thrice and proceeded to even wipe my eyes! And yet, the sight before me was no different. He had beautiful snow like ears. And no, it wasn't just the colour, it was in how soft and fluffy the looked. My fingers were trembling from restraining myself, lest I touched him when he clearly hid his ears from the entire world for nearly half a decade. I wondered if he even was aware that his identity was there to see by everyone.
Did it matter? Or was I the only one who didn't know he wasn't completely human.
And his eyes! They were shining like molten silver. Intense and oh so fiery. And the reason was staring him in the eyes, their gaze solemn and defeated as they laid on the ground whimpering.
It reminded me why I had an immense crush on him in the first place. It was those eyes. They demanded attention. They demanded so many things… as soon as they were focused on you. Maybe I spoke to soon. Cause the next thing I knew, those shining eyes were focused right on me. I felt rooted to the spot, unable to even form a smile. I just stared at him as he raised his right eyebrow and slowly blinked-- just like a certain cat I was overly familiar with back at home.
I was about to blink back, smile at him too, that is… Until my eyes focused on the well-manicured ruby red talons on his arm which were showing absolutely no signs of letting go anytime soon. I was… Confused. Did he perhaps… Save her? Was that why she was clinging onto him? There sure was a crowd forming, and a supposed --criminal-- on the streets being glared at. Or was this something else entirely? I just couldn't blame him. He was gorgeous, who wouldn't want to glue themselves onto him.
But… Why today? Why when he was supposed to be with me?
We aren't official the little voice in my head sure knew what I needed to hear. Sure, we weren't. And he was open to dating more people until he knew who the “the one” for him. But At Least, I deserved to know if I was being stood up.
A sharp pang of pain went through my chest. Past insecurities bubbling up on the surface. I couldn't keep the eye contact I'd held with him any longer. Everything around me began to be blurred.
Tears. I was crying over a man who knew me for a little over five years and yet kept silent after making me wait an hour like a fool. Wiping under my eyes, I took a step back. And then another. Watching how his stance changed. Watching how his shoulders sagged. And then, I shook my head. I didn't want him closer. I didn't want his scent on me. I didn't want to hear his voice. My traitorous heart couldn't take it if he made some excuses. I wasn't strong enough. Not now. Not when my mind was absolute chaos. I needed to think. I needed a moment before my thoughts drowned me and I had already taken the dive. I just needed to breathe, I just had to breathe.
“Y/N! Wait…” He screamed. And as if my body was on little strings and he was the puppeteer; my feet stopped on their own accord and I looked him in the eyes once again. The same anguish reflected on his face that probably mirrored mine.
“Why…?”
Did you not come, did you even remember? Did you even care? Did you even want to see me? Do I even matter? A plethora of questions flashed my mind and how I wished I could say out loud, but my lips were tied as he enveloped me in his warm embrace, his caffeine induced sweater a warm welcome to my frantic nerves. His every breath calming my mind and helping me breathe. When he tried letting me go, I shouldn't have held onto him tighter, I should have been the one to let go first. But my arms had a mind of their own and they clutched onto him tighter. My ears didn't want to hear the people gasping around and leaving the scene. I didn't want to hear how the girl right behind his back was cursing at him. I didn't want to see anything. Just a little more, and I can let him go.
“I'm sorry, Y/N. I'd… I...I am...” He whispered in a resigned tone. His voice huskier from holding back tears, perhaps? Was I hurting him that much? Or was he reflecting my emotions?
“Why?” I murmured into his sweater, hoping he would tell me it was nothing but a huge misunderstanding.
“I found her. She's my mate. I...” I couldn't hear anything more. My ears were ringing. My heart drumming inside my head. And just one word and an image flashed across my mind.
Mate. They were mates.
Of course.
He was a hybrid. He'd have one. One that isn't me. I was never a priority. I never would probably be. It was like a splash of ice cold water over my head. I… Couldn’t take it anymore. Stepping back from his embrace as he continued whispering apologies. I hoped they were apologies. I shook my head and somehow managed a smile. Barely. I'm sure it was faker than the mistletoes hanging around every Christmas. Chuckling to myself, at my own luck, I looked up to the sky. How was I supposed to know? How am I supposed to react? Do I just say ‘it's okay, congratulate him, and what? Move on?’
It wasn’t that easy. I wasn't as strong. I'd only started to let myself fall for him. His eyes, his scent, his voice. The way he said my name, the way he always wore mismatched shoes, or how he sometimes ate with his left hand instead of right. How he liked ketchup over scrambled eggs and how he hated fries without seasoning. He was adorable in every way. And yet so strong. So determined. So... Lovely.
And yet… It wasn't me. I wasn't the one he waited for. I wasn't the one he saved. I wasn't the one he loved. “Did you ever…” choking back a sob, I looked to the side. His eyes too intense for me. “love me?”
“I still do. I love you, Y/N!” He shook his head and with a giant step, was towering over me once again. I felt so small. I felt like he was about to swallow my entire being. He shouldn't have said that. He was lying. Why was he lying?
“But I just found her today, and my heart feels confused. I need time to figure things out. Please… I’m just as torn as you are. Believe me.”
“Lies. All lies.” I bit my trembling lips. “I have seen mates. Nothing is instant. You don't even realize until you've spent enough time. You're lying!” I snarled. Panting, I shut my eyes. I didn't want to see him anymore. So what if I wasn't a hybrid. I have seen Jin and hoseok with their mates so often, I know what it's like. It's them and their flaunting of how sweet relations are that I had found a sweet escape. And yet….
“Noona!”
My chaotic mind was finally at rest. And this time, it was because of Namjoon. I was glad somehow. And a bit annoyed. He must have followed me. A kind, gentle hand encircled my shoulder and pulled me into a warm chest. From his scent alone, I could tell it was Jimin. Smiling to myself, I didn't bother turning back.
“I know how much a mate means to a person. Keep her happy.”
◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥
“Whaf ‘appened?” Jungkook asked with his mouth stuffed with marshmallows. Now I know where they went. It wasn't Jimin. It was kookie who stole it all.
“Bad day. Come here.” Extending my arms, I waited till he came closer and then held him by the ear. Even though it was soft and silky, and I was yearning to pet them, I refrained myself.
“Why did you lie when I asked the other day?” I asked sternly. Trying my best not to smile as I watched him squirm.
“Yeah! It wasn't me, Noona! See…” Jimin piped up from behind.
“I know now.” Smiling, I let go of Jungkook’s now pink flushed ears and ruffled Jimin’s hair until his pout turned to a smile only for it to drop as soon as Yoongi entered the room.
There was always slight tension between the two ever since they entered puberty. I just hoped it didn't last too long.
“So…”
Looking around, I spotted the flier Namjoon had collected a while back and smirked.
“How about we order in today?” A chorus of excited yeses made me smile.
Some things never change. And I couldn't be happier. This was my own safe Haven. Nothing. Absolutely nothing would damage it. I'd always be happy and safe, as long as the boys were with me. They would be. Won't they?
══════ ∘◦❁◦∘ ═══════
~Tagged ~
@dreadity @im-emo-motherfuckers @xanny91 @oyasumi7@blackmaylovesfries @catkiecookie @noonaofkookie @thenyousaidhello @silveroccamy @boononx@2seokkyo @s0nh4dorasblog @minyoongi-infiresme @bluebirdphantom @love-yourself-moonchild
#bts#bts hybrid au#min yoongi#kpopwonderlandtag#btswritersguild#armyofwritersnet#park jimin#kim taehyung#kim namjoon#jeon jungkook#kim seokjin#Jung HoSeok#hybrid bts au
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Reminder that I’m totally down to give specific warnings or descriptions or help people navigate through the video if anyone needs.
Warnings (aside from the obvious): Long post, lots of caps lock, long rambling with a large degree of incoherence. I titled this “me screaming at the new video” in docs. I was real accurate. It took me over 2 hours to watch this thing because I kept pausing to not shut up. This is 5 pages in docs.
Okay, JUST looking at the cover, I- are those tentacles? IS this a new side? Octoside? I can already hear all the names were going to give him. Oliver, Octavio, October wait no that’s already a Sanders shorts. Okay, intrusive thoughts, that's… Roman’s already a supplier of those. Fandom agrees, “Don’t think about your naked Aunt Patty.” So, maybe Depression? Anger? Or, is it Roman still, after all? Because I see the word Creativity there. Or tentaclereativity. So it’s still Roman, but I’m convinced that his opposite is Virgil, although I’m also sure that they implied Pride in the Halloween episode. Something about “proud of it” and then they said “let’s table that discussion for another time.”
Ugh, Roman’s been doing so wonderful on his own. He’s just been owning up to insecurities, and it’s been great. This is going to be highly related to him. Although, Patton looks like the one trying to block him out? Roman’s concerned, Logan’s miffed, Virgil is angry, and oh my god is that a MOUSTACHE OKAY I’M WATCHING.
Content warning, oh my gosh, they were not kidding. Does that seriously say death and blood and gore? I’m just getting more hype. I mean, intrusive thoughts, I’m sure nothing will permanently, physically happen to them. (Goodbye Fresh.)
Dark circles under Thomas’s eyes, implication of sleep deprivation, or something with Virgil?
“The human connection will make me feel more like a person,” I came here to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now. Credits! Great job everyone! I know everyone worked real hard on this.
Okay, Thomas in his robe, very reminiscent of Excepting Anxiety. Blasé attitude, too. Hmm, trouble sleeping (tires), overstating ‘everything going wrong,’ definitely seems like Virgil’s territory.
Woah there he is. He’s, he’s really angry? And Patton’s voice is strained. What is happening, does Patton know……whatever, or WHOever? Yeah, he’s shifty eyed. He knows. Virgil definitely knows, and it’s not him. Oh man oh man. Oh, confirmed, they’re in on trying to avoid the conversation. GREAT TEAM WORK, PAT! Doing great, buddy.
Roman’s rhymes are amazing. Definitely misery, though. Alright, so Thomas is having thoughts that make Virgil act up, and either he’s telling Patton, or Patton knows because of emotions.
Roman’s so much better at summoning than Logan. And Logan knows?! Ooh, sore spot for them here. Patton oh noooo. That’s easy for you to say?
I love the idea that, 1, Logan Falsehood’d as a reaction and an example on purpose, and 2, that he’s got a limit of one per day.
ALRIGHT! I’ve got it. They don’t want Roman to know because he’s going to, intentionally or not, expand on whatever the thoughts are. He’s Creativity and dreams, it’s what he does and he’s not going to be able to help it, intrusive thoughts, this IS Roman-centric! Poor boy. (Kraken, sushi. Those tentacles mean something. Also the tentacle represents the C, I understand the title image now.) Yeah, they don’t want him inadvertently going into daydream mode.
I have never seen this movie. These are freaking top-notch jokes, though. WOAH, THOMAS. Not good. Really not good. I’m still hype. Oh, is that the sort of death mention that
Television: [has hands]
Me: [strangled squeaking noise]
Okay, I’m having, okay. Okay. Okay. I’m fine. I just. I need. Okay. I’m fine. Need a moment. Freaking out, in, a good way? I just. Really unexpected, even though I saw the hands. Oh my gosh. Can the others see him????? Because they’re looking at Roman they should see him. I didn’t know I could make that noise, but apparently I can. And I can hold it. And make it slowly go higher pitched. Okay. Okay. I’m fine now. Maybe. Okay. Hypening.
OH THEY CAN okay, oh dissonant voice. What sort of overdramatic staff is this dork NO ROMAN.
THE DUKE?! WHAT!!! Getting heavy Warfstache vibes, btw, and why does he have a grey streak? Virgil and Logan are unconcerned about Roman, so I guess he’s fine.
Is this a song? What is his outfit, omg. His mustache is fabulous. His eyes are kinda ringed. in purple?
What is happening, oh my god. Oh here’s the religious commentary, I guess. This is fine, I’m okay with this. But he’s playing Adam AND Eve himself. Dramatic dork confirmed. Oooh, you lack imagination. He IS Roman’s opposite, dang. I was so sure it was Virgil. Also YES green’s my favorite color!
Hahaaaa! Tiny little aunt Patty naked post-it! Patton’s so distressed, Virgil ANGERY. A to Z is incredible. I missed some lyrics there; I’ll catch it when I watch it with captions the next five times. I mean, uh, no, I’d never… ten times. Nice blood spatter! What is he doing to them! What’s with the size thing? Is that a thing he can do? Or creative (heh) liberty due to song?
SNAKE how’d I not guess that from Adam and Chava SNAKE IT’S SNAKE!
I don’t get the hand image. What is that? So far kind of the same sort of vibe from Deceit and Duke- oooh, both Ds. The whole, own up to who you are, stop lying to yourself.
“You’ve got a fiend in me!” “Squeak!”
Oh, oh no, he’s really not quite like Deceit. He’s saying that these things make Thomas evil. Definitely not a Deceit thing to do.
EDITING PRAISE! YOU GUYS. You guys are incredible, you did such a good job.
“I’m your Creativity!” Officially calling those things fart trumpets.
Oh, is he actually Creativity? Okay I’ll roll with it. Oh my gosh it’s only ten minutes into it and I can’t shut up. Virgil is so uncomfortable.
Never bring [Jeffery Dahmer] up again got a GREAT face from Duke. Oh man. Is that true about him trying to repress those thoughts?
WHITE BEAR that episode of Black Mirror might make more sense now.
Impressive hair blowing from Virgil, that’s the hair blowing equivalent of what Dr. Horrible did with his fingers in Brand New Day.
Patton called Roman handsome, and I knew that second most handsome prince bit in the last episode was something he’d say, not just him trying to be all lawyer-y! (Ooh, foreboding music…)
Honestly, Logan was, if anything, even more chill about lying in CLBG, and Deceit in general (his scales are quite smooth). By comparison, he’s going off on the Duke. OOH, I KNEW THAT ABOUT THE WORD DORK!
Ohhh my gosh the costumes are opposites! I, almost realized that, about color theory, and then forgot about the sash. And those shoulder pads are massive, Duke! Did you steal Roman’s puppet chin to make those?
Joan! Haha, I love it, definitely something they would do. Interesting, you can hear an overlay of Joan’s voice, and Duke’s voice. Why can’t the Duke do it as well as anyone else? What did Virgil realize during the twin explanation? Hey, Cayin and Hevel, more Genesis.
Did he mention friends and family? Oh my gosh, self-immolation is terrible, I looked it up. Like, uh, suicide for a public purpose, or to make a point?
Laugh! Dork laugh! There’s the implication of them knowing each other.
Oh, okay, okay. So, Virgil’s anxious, because in and of itself, whatever it was that he was thinking/obsessing over was bad. His anxiety is, well, cognitive distortions. That’s why everyone’s all bothered. Yeah, point to Logan on that oh my god, what is that camera angle, I love it.
Duke is JP confirmed. Ripped off nipples. JP from Wade’s (lordminion777) circle of friends, salty boys. That’s still their official name, right? Anyway, he’s JP.
Oh, I saw dripping off of that hand. That sequence is getting longer every time.
Who are those, I don’t recognize them? “I’m about to smash the Hulk” you guys I think I love the Duke a little bit a lot.
Patton, no, that’s- Patton! “That’s what repression is?” Ooh, tense Virgil moment with Logan. Yet, also touching?
“Well THAT can’t be where the bar is.” !!!
Weird Duke blink during religion talk. It’s so funny looking at this though a Jewish perspective. It’s similar, but just a little off. And we don’t do the 7 deadly sins thing.
Figuratively!
Wait it’s coming from Virgil?! Uh, uh, anxious about being a bad person, subconsciously projecting it onto Thomas?
Patton too?! Oh, wait, yeah, this comes back to repression that makes sense. Oh my gosh, Logan. ! Can the Duke do the Deceit silence thing oh no, no he can’t. Close. Teeth are an improvement I think.
Hey isn’t there an incorrect quote about Virgil drinking shampoo?
Remus?! Oh my gosh are you KIDDING me? A new side, PLUS his name? Oh, oh that’s so clever, Roman. Rome was founded by Romulus and Remus. So clever! And definitely butt trumpets, from earlier, because AVPM’s Lupin had butt trumpets.
Oh, direct shot and reaction at Virgil not hiding anything. And okay, I’ve changed my mind like 10 times, but I think I get it now. Haha, Logan! It was like a pop quiz! And Thomas cursed!
The scream darkened the room, that was awesome. But nobody cared. Ah, secretly a Patton and Virgil arc!
Oh my god, Patton had a look of realization when Virgil was listing off things, is he going to tell him to not skip the callback?!
[Sad poopy noises.] Logan’s on fire today! Yes!
Oh, he’s gone? Ha, nope! Oh it got worse, haha!
Patton, control, it’s happening! Oh, wait no.
Virgil really used to fear him? And, oh, what were those exchanged looks during “just like old times”? Logan and Patton, and maybe Roman figured it out? Does Virgil know that?
Roman!
Nerdy Wolverine. Ahh, cool! Dukey problem! Oooh return of “I don’t like him.”
What, brother?! So that’s an actual thing now? But okay, alright, I guess Logan’s thing from before. NOPE EVERYTHING’S FINE NEVER COMING BACK. Romaaaaan.
Dark sides? “Others.” Oh, Thomas for sure doesn’t know. Oh dear. OH MUSIC it’s swelling oh my gosh, he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell. Gasp! He told, and oh, so sad, and oh no he’s just sinking out?! My poor baby little precious oh I immediately see why Patton had a problem with coddling him.
Oh, oh Thomas is so confuddled. There’s going to be so many angst fics. I will read them all.
Alright, actually a hilarious ad. Way to incorporate intrusive thoughts into it! END CARD holy- REMUS! Oh the deodorant. And again. Nice knife, he’s going to- yep, deodorant. Oh he’s done, but he’ll have another- yep. What the heck is it, actually?
THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT! PFF that’s going to be some fics also. Officially: I love Remus.
Final thoughts; I’m in love, I was so wrong about “they wouldn’t throw a new side or plot relevance at us with all these warnings,” everyone freaking outdid themselves, this must have happened so soon after Selfishness vs. Selflessness, I love him, I really dug a lot of that humor, my taste in music is way worse than anything Remus threw at us (ask me about that), WHAT WERE THE THOUGHTS with the dripping hand bit, S v. S part 2 is definitely the next one, and I freaking love this video.
#ts spoilers#virgils sanders#thomas sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#the dark side of creativity#remus sanders#B/k's babbling#long post#sanders sides#new video reaction
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Sleeping Test
Professor!Negan x Reader
Warning: Negan being rude as hell, mentions of drugs and alcohol, etc.
Prompt / Summary: Reader is Negan’s favorite student. What happens when she makes a little mistake?
Note: This was fun to write.
Professor Negan was nothing like the other teachers Y/n had ever had, he was as passionate as bad-mouthed, he said an average of 89 bad words per class (or at least that’s what her friends counted), but she did not mind, he was funny and knew what we was talking about –something, that not all teachers did-, plus, he always told her she was his best student.
He taught mythology and the girl was in love with the subject, and maybe, she had a little crush in the man who taught it. But she was discreet all the time, so she wasn’t worried about him finding out. Multiple times her bestie had told her to do something about it, she was pretty, she was intelligent, totally his type, but the girl was not sure about it at all; Her life was difficult, she came from a problematic family, she was trying to not be as problematic as them, studying, trying to get good grades, being good and empathic with people, but sometimes her violent, insecure and her troublesome side won the battles. She was not okay, and she knew it. She was broken, she also knew that. And who would want a broken girl?
“Don´t ya forget tomorrow’s test you careless fuckers! It´s important, and I don’t care if your dog died, you have to test that exam. Now go, you are dismissed.” His playful yet serious yell placed the girl in her reality. Dismissed, he always said that sarcastically.
Soon she realized that she was the only one still in her sit, so she began to pack her things as fast as she could.
“What’s the fucking rush doll? You look desperate.” He joked when the classroom was empty. “Am I that disturbing?”
“Oh, no, no” She said as her cheeks painted crimson red. “It is not you, sir…”
“Negan, remember, my favorite student can call me by my name whenever she wants. Heck even those sons of a bitch call me Negan.”
“Is not you s- Negan, it is that, I just… have another class, I should be going. See you tomorrow… I guess.” She managed to lie without looking more awkward as she closed her backpack and placed it on her shoulder.
“Yeah.” Negan smiled warmly at her. “See you tomorrow sweetheart. Don’t forget to study, okay doll?” He told her as he started to gather his own things.
Even after a semester of him calling her sweet names, she couldn´t stop blushing.
“Umm, okay. Bye.” She said leaving him there and rushing to the exit door.
Just when she closed the door she could take a breath, she walked to the parking to get her car and go home, feeling bad about lying to the man.
“Babygirl!” A scream made her snap out of her thoughts.
“Hi Ty, what´s good man?” Y/n greeted with the usual confidence she had, that confidence that seems to always disappear as soon as she spotted her teacher.
“We have a party to attend tonight, that’s good.”
Negan got out of the classroom just in time to hear the boy say that. He frowned and gazed at the two students that didn’t even acknowledge his presence in the almost empty corridor.
“I dunno Ty, I have a test tomorrow and I have to study, you know.”
“Oh, c´mon! there are plenty of tests, you can just have a little fun and forget this one.”
“I don’t know…”
“Pleeease” Her friend pleaded as he stopped walking and cupped her cheeks. “Do it for me. Josh and I are going to play at it, and I need your support more than ever.” He whispered.
Negan´s blood boiled as he saw the two friends so close, he couldn’t hear what the boy told her, but he knew that she would not agree to go, she was too good to do that, and most importantly, she was too good for that kid.
Or that’s what he thought.
“Fine, I´ll go.” The girl said out loud as she got away from Tyle´s arms.
“YES!” He shouted as he raised his arms to the sky.
Betrayed.
That’s how Negan felt even when he knew he didn’t have a reason to. He looked at the girl until she was out of the school´s doors with the boy´s arm around her waist.
The party, that was more like a mini-concert was great. The girl danced every song that her friends played, drank a little, met new people, and ended going home later than expected. She passed out as soon as her head touched her pillow at 5.09.
She woke up at 8.30. Late. As fast as she could and with her mind still clouded with the alcohol she got to her first class of the day, thinking about studying in her free time for the mythology test.
But that free time never came. The day was exhausting as hell. Homework, papers, essays and more were done and delivered in every single class. And finally, when 7.20 arrived with her test, she hadn’t studied a single note.
She entered the room and greeted Professor Negan with a smile, which he ignored, Y/n froze in her place, but got back in her track and went to her place. Why did he ignore her?
As soon as everyone arrived, he gave them the tests and went to his desk without much as an instruction: “Nobody is going home until I evaluated their test, understood? You can all start. By the way, I added some questions, good luck with that, you have an hour and a half.”
Just like the day before, the sky was falling, the rain was pouring, and after a stressing day and just 3 hours of sleep, it was all lulling the girl into sleep.
“Miss Y/L/N, have you finished yet?” Negan interrupted her little nap with a rough voice.
“I’m afraid not, sir.” She said ashamed.
“You had a damn hour already.”
“Yeah, but nobody has finished.”
“You should have, but instead, you have been sleeping for fucking half an hour.”
“That’s not truth!” At this point all the students’ attention was on their talk.
“Why are you so tired Miss Y/L/N? Is it because you studied so fucking hard last night? Or maybe because you were fucking party rocking all night!” He roared.
“I… well… I…”
“Bring me your test.”
“But I haven’t…”
“I said bring me your test motherfucking now.”
Y/n got up from her sit with all her classmates stares making her want to cry, but she stood bravely in front of the man who looked more like a beast. Negan took her test from her shaking hands and revised it. It wasn’t that bad, in other occasion he would have told her that it was okay, and that it was in fact, difficult. But he didn’t bother to make her feel better, he just finished and marked her score with red big letters in the front. For a moment she was relieved, it wasn’t that bad, right?
“You know Miss Y/L/N? I thought you were different.” The bell that dictated that the class was over sounded. “Nobody is fucking going anywhere!” He shouted at the class, and then he looked at her again. “I thought you had potential, and maybe you do have it, but what is the motherfucking point of owning it, if you are gonna waste it. I had high hopes, ya know?”
Y/n still standing in front of the desk bitted her lip trying not to cry.
“I thought that I had finally found a perfect student that cared about the class, her grades, and more than that, her damn life. But no, just now I fucking realize that you are just like all the other careless sons of a bitch who party every day and get high until they see the light.”
A sound made Negan look at the door, increasing his anger.
“You know, the saddest motherfucking thing here is that… you are just a puppet. A fake Barbie that your boyfriend over there…” He said pointing at the door where Tyler was looking over the little window, trying to see why his friend was taking too long. “Is going to throw to the fucking trash once he is done with you, and with your pants too.”
A joking ‘Uhhh’ was heard in the classroom, and Negan, who usually stopped this kind of things, did nothing this time. Y/n closed her eyes, trying to not cry in front of everyone.
Then she got mad. What was his problem? She wasn’t the only one that have done that! And it was her life, not his. She clenched her jaw and finally looked at the devil’s eyes.
“May I be dismissed now? You already checked my test.” She said trying to sound as cynical as she could. This pissed Negan even more.
“Yes, fake-doll, you can be fucking dismissed.”
#negan x reader#twd negan#the walking dead negan#negan imagine#negan one shot#negan imagines#twd fanfiction#twd fic#negan fic#negan angst#negan fanfiction#the walking dead imagine#the walking dead one shot#the walking dead fanfiction#professor negan
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"Those things you said yesterday... Did you mean them?" FOR TENDOU AAAARGH
His heart was pounding. His heart was pounding and his mind was racing and the cynical white light in the bathroom made his mind race even more. He was going absolutely insane, and anyone who’s seen the light of day could tell. In these past eight months he had become a puppet, a marionette for the master puppeteer herself. She had him by the strings and controlled his every move, swung him right and left and up and down and made him so dizzy he got sick. Just like a puppeteer, she had complete power over him, and Tendou had no clue if she even knew it. The thing was, for this puppeteer, ventriloquism was a forte. She knew what to say and how to say it, how to manipulate her marionette to blurting just what she wanted. She had his little strings wrapped around her fingers and she just kept pulling. Although, he wasn’t her only puppet. She had many, so many that she kept in nice orderly rows, separated by shelves so neither of them would ever touch. She played with them all, then stuck them all neatly back into their cubbies. Tendou wanted nothing more than to jump off that shelf and be her only puppet, but he knew as long as she had hands, she’d never abandon her career.
The bass from last nights party still resonated in his bones, but the words from last nights party resonated more. “I mean it, I love you.” they whispered, it’s hushed tone a chill down his spine. “I love you” was euphoric, “I mean it” even more so, but coming from a girl who fakes her words for a living isn’t all that trustworthy, though. She lived upstairs in the apartment above him, the dainty frolic of her footsteps his malady each morning. He ached to see her, craved to have her fingers around him once more. Sometimes, he wondered if she even knew he was tied up in her clutch. He would be lying there, his own strings choking him and she would just dismiss it, letting said strings hang loosely around her hands as she carried on with her life. He looked into his mirror and straight into his reflection. He looked absolutely dreadful, he noticed, and the pink lipstick stains down his neck didn’t help. He looked wrecked, morbid, as if he obtained every attribute of a corpse after just one night out. The footsteps from upstairs became more rapid, and the quicker the footsteps the more and more he wanted to go follow them. The pounding in his chest became faster, harder, his breathing catching on soon after. He was panting like he just ran a marathon, his hands shaking as they balled up against the vanity for purchase. He couldn’t do this, he thought, he had to see her. He had to see her before those words wound him up in strings as well. He splashed water or his face, making his bloodshot eyes sting more and ran gel through his hair in feeble attempts to make himself presentable. He was still in last night’s clothes, but that didn’t matter, she had already seen him without them on.
He stood outside her apartment door, knocking once, twice, three times until he heard that gut wrenching pitter patter of footsteps. They were hurried, like she was expecting a visitor. The knob twisted and so did his gut, those wide eyes confronting him through opening“Oh, hey Satori.” She peeped, a sleepy smile present on her face. “Come in.”With a messy bun and footy pajamas she seemed so innocent, but Tendou knew what lied beneath that cloak. When she looked so pure, Tendou thought maybe she wasn’t even aware that she was a puppeteer. Maybe she just picked up dolls and played with them, unaware to the power she held.
She lead him over to her small table, sitting opposite to him and cradling a mug in her hands. She motioned him to sit down, and he did, and he began to wonder why this arrangement seemed so formal for two kids who were still sleep induced. “So, what brings you here so early?”Tendou wanted to snap right there, lay down every little problem and insecurity she’s inflicted upon him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t when she looked up at him like that. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” He muttered, glaring down at his fists. “Because you drive me absolutely crazy. You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the start of college and for a moment when you said… when you said that… I couldn’t breathe. You made me feel something I’ve never felt before. With those words and leaving the club and…” Tendou stopped for a moment, the incessant pounding in his chest hammering so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if his heart stopped all together. He didn’t know why he was saying these things. There was a possibility she was drunk and can’t remember a thing, and there he was blabbering on about his feelings for her, like a lovesick puppy. He wanted to bring up last night’s events, he really did. He wanted to bring them up so bad he ached but he just couldn’t when she looked up at him with those big, watery eyes of hers. “Everything that happened, god, you just sucked me in more.”“Of course I meant them, I said so, didn’t I?” She shrugged, setting the mug down. Tendou noticed the slight shake in her hands. Ah, so she did have feelings. “I really do love you. It’s-It’s weird saying it outloud because it’s always been something I’ve hid, but u-uh…” She giggled, a nervous quirk of hers, and if Tendou looked close enough he could see the fear in her eyes. Her hands were shaking more now, in fact, entire shivers wracked her body. She was nervous, so terribly edgy, and for once in his life, Tendou finally had power over her. He found himself smirking, like he just beat the final boss in a game he spent too much time playing. He was like Pinocchio, got a life and wrapped his strings around her neck and choked her up for a change, affected her own words for a change. She was stuttering, trapped in his enclosure. “This is so bad, I’m so sorry.” She almost whispered. “I didn’t want to tell you like that. I didn’t want last night to go down like that. I don’t regret it, but I wish it went differently. I’m so sorry.”“No, no, don’t be sorry.” He cooed, a bit too cynical for his liking. “If you never said anything, I would’ve never said anything.” He found himself leaning over the table, grabbing her by the collar and kissing her, rough, just the way he did last night. She melted into him, just the way she had last night and sooner or later he was on top of her again, like oil on water, just the way he had been last night. He loved the feeling of her touch flowing through his veins like a methamphetamine, wracking his body and mind and soul. After all these years of being tugged he was tugging back, and he adored this feeling of mutual choking. Strings were tangled, limbs were moving fast, and every word she moaned out was always drawn out of him. Tendou would always be controlled by the master puppeteer, but the puppet was a real boy, too.
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