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marchsfreakshow · 10 months

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Poems - Sea Salt [JPM x reader]

I fucking love this gif so much He's so fucking handsome.

I may make more cause i like showing my poems to y'all this way.

This may be considered a continuation of the first one.

Main warning!: Suicide mentions.

Extra warning: fluffy to all hells and puppy nickname (Ik some people are weird about that)

James' perspective (I'm sorry in advance)

~~~~~~~~~

I had walked past the empty bar and spotted a notepad out of the corner of my eye. It distracted me, so I turned around and looked at the open page. There was another poem by my Y/N, it was less scribbly and more professional looking. I wondered if they had been able to get a job writing poems. Either way, they were divine poems in my eyes, whether they agreed or not. The yellow pages almost blended into the bar table, like no one had seen it before. My thoughts took over me, wondering what it was about, I hadn't read it correctly, just skimming over the words.

The title captived me though. "Sea Salt." Footsteps stopped immediately once I said the title, I couldn't tell who they were though, footsteps come past me every day. "Shit..." It was Y/N, the voice confirmed it. Her worry sounded genuine, but I paid no mind to it. They had no reason to worry, so I stood up and smiled widely at them. "Can I read this poem my sweet bird? I want to know what it is by this title."

"It's..just..about the sea. Wrote it when I thought of the beach." They mentioned nonchalantly. It confused me, there must be more to it, I saw hints of suicide when I skimmed through it. "You miss a lot of things when you're dead and stuck in one place." That came out more as a mutter, so I simply nodded in response, wanting them to go on about the poem idea. I loved hearing their voice, it filled me with satisfaction I don't believe murder could top. Killing is genuinely an excellent way to pass the time, however, I suppose for Y/N it was writing or drawing.

"I must be boring you darling I'm sorry." They sighed, but I shushed them quickly and tightly wrapped my arms around them.

"You are never boring my sweet. Will you allow me to read it? Having a fresh pair of eyes can help you." Although it made me sad, the thought of ending one's own life is taught in a poem. But, staring into Y/N's eyes, I hoped they would allow me, giving them confidence about their writings. In the right hands, poems and stories can be wonderful things, and my little bird's work indeed was beautiful, even more so if they're reading it out loud.

Y/N reached behind me and picked up the pad, facing the page to me and hiding their own face. Taking it out of their hands, I started to read, already entranced by their handwriting. "Well, this is it. Im staring down at the water. It's lifting its head up to meet me. Why would you bend me this way? Leaving a beach with shells, crabs, and seas as friends." I took a breath after the first verse, thinking about how Y/N would often tell me family stories whenever they went to the beach. Whether it was a vacation or a sunny day in the hot summer, their family would take them, and make sure everyone saw how the sun's reflections made the water glisten like a sparkling diamond, or the sparkle in their beautiful eyes, which I could forever get lost in.

"James, how do you make my shitty poems sound so, alluring?" I was still holding onto their waist, their voice muffled due to my shoulder now being a pillow. A chuckle escaped my lips as I gave them a glance, reaching over to give y/n a kiss on their pretty little head.

"The air wasn't as crisp as it used to be. It became warm while I leaned in closer to my friend. It was panicking."

"It didn't know what to do. It couldn't help. It could only let the sea hold me up. But that is just a fantasy. A fantasy of the sea. Smelling the salts on the rocks, I opened my arms and let the sea take me away." Y/N finished, still not looking up from my shoulder. As soon as they did, I put the notepad down, picked Y/N up, and put them on the bartop, not caring what anyone else thought. A blush brushed their gorgeous face, now making eye contact with me.

"who's 'it' puppy?" While I only called them puppy when we were having intercourse, I had to get their attention so they could explain. My hands caressed Y/N's sides, gently, I hate letting go of them. I could have sworn I saw their blush deepen when I said their nickname. But the darkness of the bar did not help me in the slightest. Only light enough so I could read the words on the tinged page. Black on a mute yellow, the black was enhanced, like how Y/N's soft lips were enhanced the moment they licked their lips subconsciously. "Well?" I mentioned quietly, giving them a smile again. Their roaming hands mimicked mine, teasing me at the wrong time. Distracted or not, I would get an explanation out of my pretty puppy.

" 'It' is the sea animals mentioned earlier. They can't do anything about me wanting to fall to my death." Giggles escaped their lips as a concern spread over my own face. Immediately, I hoped this wasn't recounting a genuine attempt at something so foolish, and their giggles worried me more and more. especially since they were now avoiding my harsh gaze, eyebrows furrowed in worry and anger. Soon enough, they noticed my concern and stopped, letting me lean on one of their hands. A heavy sigh left their sensual lips, avoiding the gaze I was giving them. "Dad died on one of our trips. He was my best friend.."

"Oh, my pretty girl..." I exclaimed, promptly holding them close to my own cold body. "My love you should have never considered ending your life because of your father's death. Would he want you to carry on your life?" Their sobs were quiet but apparent, so I gave them a kiss on each of their cheeks and wiped away the tears with the pad of my thumb.

I held them close, letting them cry until I picked them up again, and walked them to our shared room. Gently, I placed them on the bed, being delicate with them still. Y/N's sobs and cries stopped, and I lay next to them, hushing them still and kissing their forehead occasionally. "I love you my pretty bird, don't worry about your wonderful little head about the memories," I spoke, but in a hushed whisper. They fell asleep, so I kept a hand on their hand and soon fell asleep after they did so.

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delicris · 2 months

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strings of blood attached

april 4th | forbid | 849 words | @jegulus-microfic

cw: mcd, blood, mild gore

"James. Look at me."

And he does. Oh, he does – a fevered look charged with anger and a desire for blood. And Regulus knows he can satisfy only one of the two. There's a blade pressed to his throat and a body bracketing his entire frame, rendering both his arms useless, and yet, he has never felt calmer.

Breathe in. Breathe out. A step-by-step guide on how to survive.

Breathe in. Hold the eye contact, feel the electricity of it charging you from the inside out. Breathe out. Take the risks you were taught to avoid like the plague.

"We don't have to do this." Breathless.

Breathe in. The air staggers in your throat, and you hold it there for a few seconds, almost as if preserving this exact moment in time. Your eyes water. And then –

James's breathing is erratic when he shifts his body weight and pushes the blade further. It punctures the skin but doesn't go all the way through to his arteries.

It should hurt, and yet the only thing Regulus can focus on is James – James, who puts his entire being into a kiss so uncoordinated as his breathing. There are way too many teeth and not enough of what they once used to be, and it's sheer torture. It's the next best thing Regulus has ever experienced, and James is pulling away far too soon for his liking. He wants to lick him clean, wants to sink his teeth through his flesh and rip him apart because maybe then he could reach him.

There's a smile stretching across Regulus's face that's bordering on obscene, raw. Breathe out. He knows James is angry. He knows what urges he can satisfy. He knows the rules of survival.

Breathe in. He's calm all the while James keeps fighting for his life, keeps stealing the oxygen, keeps pushing and pulling, even after everything.

I love you. He tries to forbid himself from thinking of it.

I love you. He cannot succumb to his own selfish desires.

I love you. He wishes he could get what he came here for, what was stolen from him – vicious fingers curling around something that was never theirs to touch, not even for them to look at. It was always James and Regulus, always both or neither, always too much or not nearly enough. Is that what love is meant to be like?

I love you, I love you, I love you.

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

lovelovelovelovelove

lovelovelove

lo

v

e

Breathe out.

"I love you."

A whisper and Regulus doesn't know who says it, just knows that the lips are now much more gentle. The kiss screams of softness and care – it urges him to wake up from the false tenderness, the false sense of intimacy, and yet it lulls him in all the same. It's the last sliver of hope.

Regulus smiles softly into the kiss just as James slits his throat clean. It was always going to be the desire for blood that would end them both.

He can't see him, but he feels him hiding in the crook of his neck. He thinks he hears him sob, still drawing one breath after the other, still trying so hard.

James breathes in deep, deeper than ever before, and then, the distinct sound of a blade going through flesh. He would recognize James's body collapsed on top of him every single time, their disgruntled noises fusing into one perfect harmony.

Had the situation been different and the wounds not their last, they would have been bathing in each other's blood until the sun started painting James's skin warm, fingers dragging through the pooling blood, reaching inside.

Regulus trips over the tiny bit of hope that grew inside of him at that very last second and falls into the pit of an eternal abyss with his lover hidden deep inside of him. They were never going to leave this place on their own, the string was always way too tight.

–

They meet again, eventually. Regulus cuddled up in their bed, placed in the middle of a seemingly endless white floor. The light is overwhelming, yet the bed brings a sense of familiarity that keeps him content. A tiny black cat is keeping him company – a kitten that keeps bugging him for attention as he wakes for the millionth time. But there's a new feeling of an unmistakable weight behind him, and he shouldn't be able to feel the warmth of the body, but if he focuses hard enough, he's certain he can make out that long-awaited sense of comfort he's been searching for.

"How long have you been waiting here, love?"

Regulus no longer has to keep his breathing under control.

"Just a couple lifetimes."

Death looks him right in the eyes, and he smiles again – for the first and last time. There's an arm thrown over his waist and a kiss pressed to his shoulder, death purring right next to his head.

He falls asleep for the last time, their string attached for an eternity.

#okay now for my lil notes:#my head is POUNDING #they came to me yesterday and now they're alive (hah)#jegulus microfic #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #cris writes *evil emoji*#<- i haven't used that in forever :0 #if the cws r not proper please lemme know!!

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sysig · 2 months

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Anime good :) (Patreon)

#Doodles #MP100 #Shigeo Kagayama #Reigen Arataka #Ritsu Kageyama #Forgive the anglicized name order lol #MP100 was another one of my breakfast anime! Admittedly I did not Just watch it during breakfast tho lol #It was too good ahhhh I kept finding my thoughts returning to it throughout the day!#I probably ended up watching an additional episode or so per day over however long it took haha - drastically cut down the number of days!#The lead ups to the finales especially got me - there was no way I could for the whole next day to see them through!#Plus getting to see those beautiful EPs gosh <3 What could be better than some absolutely stunning animation ♥#I was quite impressed the whole way through :D The cast was great and the animation was beautiful and fluid and impressive #And the technical ability that went into the painted animation! Gosh!!#But most of all - of course - it's just a good solid story <3 Of course it's beautifully expressed but it's just - good down to its bones #I love a story like that :) Mob is such a wonderful character and he's surrounded by good people ♥ It made my heart happy to see #He's loved and he loves <3 That's my very favourite!#Unsurprisingly to me I was most enamoured by the brother relationship who could've seen that coming lol me? Siblings? Pfsh ♪#Ritsu's a sweet boy as well <3 I cried at him crying from Mob not even considering forgiving him because there was never anything to forgive #Not me shorter older sibling feeling exactly the same way hhghghh I'm fine ;;#Reigen is such a fun deadbeat supportive adoptive dad haha ♪ He's hard to pin down! Loved his redemption arc(s) :)#Flawed individuals my beloved <3 #Such an enjoyable cast and set of circumstances! I might actually have to give OPM a proper go sometime soon if this is the writing quality

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pettyprocrastination · 11 months

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Got two rejections last week so I'm taking today to celebrate the little victory that I now have two print copies of my published stories :,)

Links to these stories can be found here and here

#tj talks #reminding myself rejection is par for the course of seeking out publications. it doesn't mean im bad it just means I wasn't a proper fit-#-at the time and my writing is good and will find a home <3 #also the editor added in art of damian and annette its so CUTE #the editor in chief of levitate sent me the sweetest note about my story and i damn near cried in my living room you guys

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orcelito · 3 months

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I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

#speculation nation #negative/#this got really long on accident. but i think typing this out was really helpful for me.#getting the thoughts out. processing. the works.#nearly cried several times just from writing this.#...and honestly i might reference this again when i start seriously writing my eulogy.#things suck a Lot right now. and i really wish they were different.#feels like i picked a bad choice in a video game and am now seeing the Bad Ending or whatever #all i need to do is reload a previous save. it's all still there. perfectly preserved in my memories.#but... that's all gone. as suddenly and unfair as it is ive been thrust into a new chapter of my life so thoroughly.#it's not all bad though. he wasnt prepared for dying so it's been hell to prepare for him #we dont know if we'll even be able to get into his fucking iphone. stupid piece of shit.#but he had life insurance. he had a union job. and That comes with benefits #(something about a year's salary going to the family. aka half a year's salary to Me. and isnt That mind boggling.)#as much as it hurts im going to be realistic about it. im going to do what i need to finish my education.#and im going to use it as a springboard for finally becoming a 'proper adult'.#the kind who could own a nice kitchen fridge. one with an ice machine on the front of the door #and freezers in the drawers.#maybe then i could think about getting motorcyle lessons. not from my dad as i originally wanted #but i wanna keep the family biker spirit alive. i wanted it even before he died. and now i want it even more.#ive had so so many thoughts. it's only been 3 days. ive had to emotionally numb myself several times just to Get Through It.#everything is exacerbated. my mom wants to go to the funeral. we will have to fight her on this. my dad Hated her.#and i certainly dont fucking want her around either. not then. not when im talking about my dad.#(my dad. my Dad. i saw him die. i felt him cold. i do not regret it. it still hurts me.)#it's overwhelming. i loved him so fucking much. even with his flaws he was truly an amazing father.#i'll... shut up now. if you read this far. well. hug your loved ones a little tighter. you never know when youll lose them.

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properbastard · 5 months

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isn’t teresa just the best? i’m rewatching the sharpe series after finding your blog again and i’m just so overwhelmed with love for her. she’s so kind and patient, i missed her bad af when i read the book version of sharpe’s rifles 🥺💕

[ she IS the best, anon, absolutely. Teresa's character is so unique and amazing--she's kind and patient, but she's also ruthless and cunning. Her story is absolutely heartbreaking, but she manages to find love and happiness in spite of everything, and that is such an incredibly powerful thing to see. She's everything to me and has been for a long, long time, as has @lacomandante, my very best friend in the whole world who writes Teresa!!! Go show her some love, too!!!

I haven't been on this blog often lately, but I'm hoping to be back soon and regularly! I'm very glad you found me again--it's messages like this that make keeping this proper bastard up and at 'em worthwhile!!! ]

#; mun speaks #[ AHHHHHHHH this was the SWEETEST THING to wake up to #the fact that teresa isn't in the book version of rifles is an absolute shame #also GO TELL KIRAN THIS. KIRAN DESERVES THESE KIND MESSAGES WAY MORE THAN I DO #she's actually PRESENT most of the time #also can y'all believe that i have been here for TEN WHOLE YEARS #A FULL DECADE... WRITING THE SAME CHARACTER........ ]#[ i realized that recently and i cried a little bit about it honestly. i can't believe it's been THAT long...... ]#[ anyway im gonna go cry about it some more....... i love one ( 1 ) proper bastard so fucking much ]#[ thank you for the kind words anon ;w; ]

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neonganymede · 6 months

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I handle change so well.

#did i just spend an hour testing various older versions of my preferred writing software until i found one without the ai shit? perhaps~#i tried to use a different one and cried three times. none of the proper shortcuts worked and it kept changing my formatting #i KNOW how to double space a fucking document and it would change my font and the size and just alkfjsadlkfjadslkfjasdl #this works better for me.#AND i get to keep my tabs. thank fuck. i keep like seven wips open constantly

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getitoncamera · 6 months

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oh i love waitress so much

#there is just nothing like it #it’s like the seventeen of musicals for me #in the way that i could not have listened to it (or watched a slime tutorial 👀) in a while #but it will always feel like an old friend #waitress was far from the first musical i ever loved #but it’s the one that made me fall in love with theatre #as a lyricist who writes songs for theatre i have a lot to thank waitress for #in about 1.5 weeks i’m seeing the proshot with my mom and i am so excited #i saw waitress 5 years ago next month so to get to see it with my mom again is so exciting #and i get a proper goodbye this time #both times waitress closed i cried to the entire cast recording #(which if you’ve never heard it before has a number of songs that most people wouldn’t cry at & that i usually don’t)#but i just love waitress that much #i will probably cry again while watching it bc i know that this is the last time i’ll get to see this story that means so much to me #(at least for a while)#but regardless #im still so excited and thankful for this opportunity #not kpop #theatre 🎭#love & pie : the musical 🥧🩷🩵

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jinhyun · 2 years

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psa: i've hated everything i've written so far regarding the next part of watercolor, sorry it's taking me so long 😭

#it shouldn't even be that long of a part so i was not expecting for it to take me this long to finish #i'm just in my hater era rn regarding my writing kdñaksñs #cries in everything is done in my head but i cannot for the love of god put it into proper words #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #hyunjin imagines

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draculas-husband · 2 years

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He was finally home and by his side once more. Only the day prior had the former count feared the worst. He could barely imagine what his beloved had gone through.

Edmont felt himself holding back tears as he gazed into the eyes of the man he loved. Beyond relieved that he was still among the living.

He knew Drac would not be able to stay forever, not yet, perhaps not ever. Nor could he in good conscience ask that of his beloved warrior of light. But in this very moment he was there, with him, which was all that mattered.

"Welcome home, my love."

As if to thank him, Drac leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Edmont's forehead.

He knew very well how worried his beloved old man had been. Aymeric had told him so and Edmont had made little attempt to hide it now that they were in private.

He placed his hand on the back of the former count's head and gently pulled him into a warm embrace. Carefully he pressed his beloved's head onto his chest, hoping that the sound of his heartbeat would bring him comfort.

"I've missed you…" Drac whispered softly, followed by a content sigh.

#ffxiv #count edmont de fortemps #count dadcula #count on count romance #Drac Lusard #Edmont de Fortemps #ffxiv au ra #au ra #ffxiv elezen #elezen #stormblood spoilers #kind of #after finishing stormblood proper I cried for a solid hour just because of Edmont and Tataru's relief of Drac surviving #I AM NOT OK #I love them ;___;#I did some writing #YAY

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invest-yourlife · 8 months

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can't entirely put it into words, but i am so deeply unsatisfied with the ahsoka finale. so many good moments (like huyang and ezra), but so much really frustrated me and felt half baked. ughh

#why does no one know how to write reunions on this show #ezra and hera not hugging will haunt me #i just cried for like ten minutes because we'll never get the proper rebels continuation like i thought this show would be #to be a rebels fan is to suffer i guess :/#ahsoka spoilers #thoughts

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humanmorph · 1 year

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now that ikoku nikki has finished at 54 chapters. can you all read it because it is my Favourite slice of life manga

#i mean its this or skip & loafer.#but goodddddd its so good its so dear to me #there was a stretch of chapters that hit so hard i cried every time there was a new one #and this last one!!!! god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#rosa rambles #maybe ill try writing up something proper sometime. because its truly just. the best

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#my desire to b productive vs my desire to create horribly earnest narut0 drawings #its just. i have a scene in my head that's like way too complicated to draw. but im gonna draw it anyway #and its gonna haunt me bc the dialogue is clunky. but whatever im gonna do it. this weekend. that is #i said id work on more writing school stuff today but ah i didn't sleep much and i did lots of focusing all day so like #brain is sorta mush now #snd all i can thibk abt is how much i lov 1ruka being narut0s number one dad brother #i just want to create a million scenarios where 1ruka cries over how much of a good kid narut0 is and how much bullshit he has to deal with #i just want someone to feel that pain for him. i mean. i guess thats s4sukes deal. but it feels different coming from a parent #from 1ruka it feels more. i wanna protect u. and from s4suke it feels more. i understand. lets destroy the world together. make them pay #they r the true ultimate narut0 stans. narut0 defense squad. everyone else back the fuck off #k4kashi is a 2nd teir stan. only bc hes got his own weird bullshit in canon. in my head hes also on the narut0 elite defense squad #wtf am i talking abt. ugh i need to sleep. i have to talk to ppl tomorrow. ugh no i should work on stuff #agh. fucj it maybe ill just wake up at like 5am and work on it then. and shift into proper work mode at 9 or whatever #blah. i now understand why i was feeling so like normal before this. its bc i was well rested lmao. im not at familiar levels of #exhausted unstabled energy. lov that for me #unrelated

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takasgf · 1 year

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if there is one media i grew up with, experienced it in different times of my life and kept love in my heart for it, despite not talking about it much often it would be gotg. I watched the first movie back in second or third grade, the year it launched on a pirated USB stick, and i wasnt supposed to. My dad put it on the tv, thinking i was asleep but i was not and i watched it secretly out of curiosity. I was immediately interested in all these fun characters. Its not like i havent watched many action movies my parents would put on after i was supposed to be asleep, but this one was different. I re-watched it many times, created the silliest self insert ocs for the universe, WROTE A BOOK BASED ON SAID OCS AND A FEW CHARACTERS I LIKED AND SHOWED IT TO MY SCHOOL AND FAMILY (they were so proud and so was i, until they made me read a passage from it in front of the entire class like 3 years later)). Then i watched the second movie at the cinema, LOVED IT, i remember it being such a fun movie (i sadly watched it only one time) and it fulled my mcu interest all the way through 2017-2019 until endgame happened and my mcu phase was over. I havent watched any movies after endgame and i dont think i will, except for gotg 3. I need to see it. I know i'll bawl my eyes during it because i already started weeping while watching the trailer. I love these characters so much, i love these movies so much, they are full of personality and color and humour and awesome music !!!!! I love S.tarlord so much and idc about his actor, but the character has impacted me and my creativity so , so much (in a good way). I love all of the Guardians and I wish to re watch the movies and that holiday special they made recently, but we'll see if i suceed. If i do, you can expect a GOTG!Ishigeru AU as well HAHA

#it sounds im having fun but i still feel numb . i wish i could say i smiled while thinking and writing this but no #but i do love it. my heart knows i am happy about all my passions. but i feel numb and its frustrating #i care so much and i would express it accordingly through my emotions #but now im kinda just😶#i miss experiencing emotions #i did say i cried but it was for a mere 10 seconds and i enjoyed it all #because i miss feeling things the proper way #now i just get angry and thats it #i miss my expression of happiness and sadness and nostalgia #i havent felt nostalgia in years and im serious about it #its a sensation like tingling in your hands and ears #i used to feel so much i used to feel alive #because i adore these things and i know that #but i cant express it. and it makes me feel terrible

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flovverworks · 2 years

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actually i find it superfunny when athree fans turns out to be prommy of wizzie fans too

#stardust speaking !#<- is the a3 fan #but ive def thought about both a3 & pingpong anime at times while reading mhyk so its jsut great when it turns out that this like. happens.#A Lot #the person who reccd me mhyk is someone ive talked about a3 w too #its the auto gameplay relation #(joke)#anyway #heres my thoughts on akira/itaru #(10 hour speech)#for realsies i was listening to ray again and immm gggggg i say this ALL the time #but i think the way #theres always this kind of....comparison? by akira? of how they act now vs before?#because of what theyve learnt from the wizards+the world?#not only in the 'before i wouldve held back the tears' when arthur &riquet cries at that oz castle event #but also those damn 'thanks to them i feel its alright to be upset by a burnt toast' or whatever IM PARAPHRASHING TO HELL AND BACK #BUT. was it borda isle start? cuz that did a number on me #it feels like im misrmbring rn but it was SOMETHING......with that whole #'rn theres a (ancient) wizard eating breakfast blah blah'#i wont ever write a proper post about it probably #but #its always there #in the back of my mind

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kessielrg · 2 years

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‘he was a lot stronger than he looked’ I write, when a scene or two before that the same character drives an actual sword into stone out of anguish.

bonus because that latter bit includes the awesome line ‘It was a sword in the stone, and he was no longer worthy to wield it.’ because i want this chapter to HURT

#writing #writing stuff #a proper reaction to finding your home was destroyed because your friend wanted to protect you from your teacher #there will be no context for the next week or two lol #lord knows i don't write angst often so i hope SOMEONE tells me they cried

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