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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 3 years

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Infodump/Long Post: Caffeine, Sugar, Dopamine, & ADHD

Hi. I’m Nico. I don’t usually infodump on here but Aiden did before & fellow neurodivergent people seemed to enjoy seeing nd centered content, & people gave him a lot of attention, so…

Here goes I guess. I hope y’all like it.

It’s gonna be a bit long but I found it fascinating so—

So first important thing is, this is based on research studies I found & theories I know, as well as my own observations, & may not be absolutely perfect because of that. But for the purpose of sharing information I’m going to tell you the theories & findings & build from there. Just bear in mind these aren’t set in stone & knowledge could change in the future - this is based on recent/current findings & understanding.

((& I don't want any arguing about the theories, the existence of ADHD, the addictive nature of caffeine/sugar (that's not the central topic here), or the way I formatted this in replies/reblogs please))

——

So many of you may know that ADHDers are affected differently by caffeine (coffee) than non-ADHDers (& neurotypicals). It’s actually been so consistent that I can tell if someone is ADHD or not based on their reaction to coffee - even before they’re diagnosed. It’s generally accepted that stimulants affect ADHDers differently. Coffee/caffeine usually puts ADHDers to sleep, or makes them drowsy, or makes them very focused, & it’s sometimes baffling as an ADHDer that some people can drink coffee to feel energized & jittery (it feels like a lie sometimes). That’s not to say that people who aren’t put to sleep by caffeine can’t have ADHD, but it’s very common to be put to sleep/calmed down by coffee.

Based on my personal experience with coffee, I’ve had a 20 ounce black coffee put me to sleep for four hours. I also, just yesterday, had a 20oz sugared latte & ended up hyperfocusing on this (topic of infodump), rewriting an intro template we made around a year ago, & writing stories (a special interest of mine) for around 6-8 hours total.

Now I think I might know why.

So I suspected the other day that maybe it had something to do with dopamine, & I did some research on how caffeine affects the brain. But because I also know sugared coffee (e.g. syrup-flavoured lattes, which is what I prefer) seem to have a different affect (especially depending on how much sugar you use), I looked into how sugar affects the brain too.

——

This is gonna use a few technical terms so I’ll explain them first for anyone who doesn’t know—

Adrenaline/Epinephrine: “A hormone your body can release (especially when you’re under stress) that increases blood circulation rate (quickens heart beat, strengthens force of heart’s contractions), breathing speed, & carbohydrate metabolism, & prepares your muscles to be used. It’s part of the human ‘fight or flight’ response to fear, panic, or perceived threat. An adrenaline rush can feel like anxiousness, nervousness, or pure excitement as your body & mind prepare for an event.”

Adrenaline Simplified - It gives you heightened energy, excitement, strength, & alertness, & a lot of it will make you jittery, anxious, or panicky.

Serotonin: A neurotransmitter compound which constricts the blood vessels and acts as a neurotransmitter. It’s responsible for influencing/stabilizing mood, feelings of well-being & happiness, cognition, reward, learning, memory, & numerous physiological processes (nausea & vasoconstriction (narrowing (constriction) of blood vessels by small muscles in their walls to slow blood flow)).

Serotonin Simplified - reduces depression, regulates anxiety, heals wounds, stimulates nausea, maintains bone health, helps with sleeping, eating, & digesting, & regulates happiness, well-being, & mood stability; it’s a soother & a happy chemical. A lot of it will make you extremely energetic & jittery.

Dopamine: “A neurotransmitter compound. When dopamine is released in large amounts, it creates feelings of pleasure (happiness, achievement) & reward, which motivates you to repeat specific behaviours; low levels of dopamine are linked to reduced motivation & decreased enthusiasm for things that would excite most people. It controls mental & emotional responses but also motor (physical) reactions. Known for being the “happy hormone”; responsible for the experience of happiness. The anticipation of most types of rewards typically increases the level of dopamine in the brain (anticipatory pleasure), & then you get a larger dose later when you get the reward.”

Dopamine Simplified - It’s your happiness/pleasure response to achievements, rewards, praise, etc. It functions as both motivation & reward, & when it’s functioning properly it’s what keeps you focused on tasks until they’re done.

Residual Dopamine: Dopamine that’s “floating” around in your brain, ready to be deployed as needed to motivate you & help you get through less fun tasks.

Temporary Dopamine: Dopamine that you get as a reward from things like beating a level in a video game, winning the lottery, etc. (accomplishments); is released after an accomplishment or event is over.

Note that typically, these chemicals (dopamine, serotonin, & adrenaline) are supposed to be balanced, & they’re supposed to be generally not very difficult to get. In mentally ill or some neurodivergent brains, however, these chemicals are imbalanced.

——

Now that the technical stuff is out of the way -

Caffeine lowers your serotonin levels, majorly increases dopamine, & releases adrenaline.

Sugar raises all three - serotonin, dopamine, AND adrenaline.

So sugared coffee will raise serotonin, dopamine, & adrenaline levels.

So how does that make them affect ADHDers differently?

——

This part is based on something called Low Arousal Theory (& no that’s not sexual).

Basically, the theory states that what makes an ADHDer appear inattentive or hyperactive has to do with dopamine in the brain - both how much we have & how easy it is to get it.

ADHDers, according to this theory, have lower residual dopamine. This causes an imbalance between dopamine and other neurotransmitter compounds/hormones.

Because of this, then, ADHDers have to rely on temporary hits of dopamine, both to focus & to boost their mood. There are often less ways we can get enough dopamine, since our brain doesn’t pre-produce enough & we thus need more dopamine total to be able to focus. So we end up hyperfocusing on anything that automatically gives large doses of dopamine - which usually ends up being things like TV shows (binge watching), video games (blackout hyperfocus where you play for hours & lose time), & social media (like, scroll, comment, scroll, lots of feedback/reward).

——

(Note in this case sugared coffee can mean coffee with sugar cubes/physical sugar added, coffee with sugary creamer added, coffee with milk added coffee with sugar syrup added, coffee with flavoured sugar syrup added, & coffee with any combination of those added (because those will all add at least a little sugar); & black coffee means coffee/espresso with not even milk added)

So if black coffee raises your dopamine levels, that means, for non-ADHDers, that it makes them energized, jittery, anxious, motivated and alert. Sugared coffee has a more significant/amplified, but similar, affect & this often shows up as shakiness & inattentiveness.

Non-ADHDers will get an artificial imbalance & a whole lot of dopamine, adrenaline, &/or serotonin. Since they already have enough dopamine naturally, this spike causes hyperactive/inattentiveness.

For ADHDers, however, their dopamine levels are low, so black coffee will cause an artificial imbalance but will leave the ADHDer with enough dopamine (higher levels of dopamine) to be motivated to do tasks & focus, & this usually causes focused drowsiness in small doses. Large doses (usually 20+ ounces of black coffee) will put the ADHD brain to sleep.

Sugared coffee though, for an ADHD brain, will cause an artificial balance with higher levels of dopamine, so this usually creates either blackout hyperfocus (medium dose of sugar + medium (16-20oz) coffee), calm focus (large coffee (20-32oz) + some sugar), or amplified hyperactivity (small coffee (8-16oz) + a lot of sugar or large coffee (20-32oz) + a lot of sugar; jittery, jumpiness, running around).

((Note the oz are an estimate & will vary depending on your personal tolerance for caffeine & sugar))

Essentially, sugared coffee could have a similar affect to prescription meds for ADHDers who don’t trust meds, get bad side effects from meds, or aren’t allowed meds? (I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or say anyone should ditch their meds to try it, especially since coffee can be addictive, but I found it fascinating either way (since it explained (potentially) why black coffee could put me & other ADHDers to sleep).)

It also means being put to sleep by coffee, or suddenly able to Do The Thing™ because of coffee, is ADHD culture. (/lighthearted)

~Nico

#adhd #infodump #low arousal theory #LAT #coffee #caffeine #sugar #adrenaline #dopamine #serotonin #epinephrine #psychology #actually adhd #adhd adult #adhd post #undiagnosed adhd #adhd culture

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yet-another-autism-blog · 3 years

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Your doctor has done the right thing for you, you'll understand later. Hormones have a HUGE impact on bipolar symptoms. There's evidence to suggest that oestrogen and testosterone affect bipolar differently. For example, testosterone levels may be related to the course of bipolar disorder and suicidal behavior. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230614943_Testosterone_levels_in_suicide_attempters_with_bipolar_disorder

Also evidence that stopping HRT can bring on sudden manic or depressive episodes: "hormone replacement medication can reduce the levels of some mood stabilizer medications―and that can increase the risk of relapsing into depression or mania." https://www.dbsalliance.org/education/ask-the-doc/can-going-on-or-off-hormones-cause-mood-swings-or-a-manic-episode/

HRT is not a walk in the park and hormones affect every part of the way our bodies and minds work. It's no easy task for a doctor to prescribe HRT especially for people with severe mental illnesses. It doesn't mean you'll never get on HRT, it just means you'll need to be a lot more careful, and whether you like it or not, doctors know what they're doing and are the authority on this.

Anon, did you read the part of the post where I said this therapist spent less than 20 minutes with me?

In that time she didn't ask me a single question about my mental health/bipolar symptoms or my gender identity. Her decision was entirely based on an intake screening done by a different therapist.

Now I don't know what kind of mental health training you have but I have a bit of medical training, and I was always taught to actually talk to my patients about those kind of things. What's true for one person may not be true for another, as a medical professional you're job is to treat your patient not their condition.

And yeah, hormones can cause changes with mental health issues but funny enough, having to spend your life pretending to be someone you're not and constantly being misgendered also causes some pretty significant negative mental health issues. Every single mental health issue I have ever had has been a direct result of my gender identity not be acknowledged or respected.

My bipolar symptoms are perfectly under control, and have been forever. I have never had a single significant issue as a result of my bipolar.

Which is definitely a good thing because this therapist is also refusing to treat my bipolar because of the whole inherently violent thing, no point in treating that.

My actual doctor, the one who treats my bipolar, saw absolutely issue with me starting hrt.

And finally

In what fucking world is it acceptable for a therapist to tell a patient they their just inherently violent and there's nothing to be done. Like in what fucking world do you live in where that's okay, regardless of other circumstances?

Edit:

Final thing I don't know what gives you the confidence that "it doesn't mean you'll never get on hrt" because that's exactly what it means. I'm not working with unlimited time here. I've been trying to get on hrt for 5 years now and something always comes up, insurance, "You're to pretty to be a man", "wait a year", etc. I have until my 24th birthday and that's it. No more chances after that. I'm 23. I turn 24 in 7 months. I don't have time to keep trying.

#have you ever talked to a single trans person with mental health issues?#because i have #and every single one of them said hrt improved their mental health #maybe stay out of other people's business if you dont know what youre talking about #anon #ask #transphobic bullshit #she spent the whole 20 minutes telling me to just change my name and live as woman #thats not someone whose thinking about my mental health #and the whole testosterone makes you violent thing is a terf myth #so fuck right off with that #talked to another doctor specializing in trans healthcare who says that it bullshit

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madamhatter · 3 years

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act 0. observer’s notes your name is….. finding place in exile, the ramifications of war, and the scars it makes (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)

Discussion on PTSD and its play in writing Sophie in the Topaxi verse. A general (mental) profile of the Sorceress in this setting would be included. Includes connecting recurring imagery and rifts spotted in-character writing in the Topaxi verse. (Kind of spoilers!)

READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION.

The story of displacement is a common tale for many of the Roles in Topaxi. Be it if you’re of those surviving past the war, having escaped the clutches of social prejudice of your home country, or even in rift from self-persecution, the belongingness that was once felt is adrift and lost to the ever-revolving and never-stopping world we live in. As of the latest conquest conducted by the Topaxi Advancement Forces (TAF), the continent of Gaea has had several of its countries turned territories or effaced within the past seven to eight years. It has been over two years since the invasion and TAF is on standby as the last emperor had suddenly and mysteriously passed away.

One of the last countries to be taken by the Empire was a smaller region towards the north of the continent with one coast belonging to the open sea. Such a place, which was incredibly small and considered nameless by then, was the home of the Sorceress.

In the wake of post-war life, most have found their living in making a living, while a rare few live to make a change. So ends up Sophie Hatter, the confirmed one of eight survivors from her hometown, to Topaxi with no remnants of family with her as they are located elsewhere in the Topaxi empire. (A complicated situation. It is connected to Sophie’s mother and it is the reason why Sophie is the last Hatter to leave her home country). She is holding herself together with only the clothes on her body and whatever items survived the destruction in a small messenger bag she found in the debris of her late childhood home. So, where does Sophie find herself...? What is she like now?

Similar to discussed cases in Topaxi with certain roles being exposed to and/or participating in the war, Sophie Hatter is one of those cases. She developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is comorbid with general anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and major depressive disorder. NOTE: Major depressive disorder would be a differential diagnosis. However, the symptoms exhibited by Sophie by the time she is 19, and after the course for acute stress disorder to be diagnosed (~3 days to a month), does reflects does include symptoms for “PTSD Criterion B or C symptoms” and “PTSD Criterion D or E” (p 279, DSM-5). Meaning that comorbidity is possible diagnosis or this disorder soon developed because of the traumatic event in place.

Sophie struggles with creating herself as she was before; there is an intrusion that exists within her and she is acutely aware of it and believes that she must do something about it. This nuisance she classifies, however, cannot be as easily undone as she realizes and her understanding of it is very limited, given the fact that the world of Topaxi has limited resources and research committed to psychology.

While the city-state of Topaxi can be considered modern and ahead of its time with the presence of UCAT, their progression and developments are not concurrent (yet) with the going-ons of today. While its history may not have been dedicated to vulnerable populations and certain experiences they might have faced, changes are being made with new projects, but there is still a way’s to go.

Sophie Hatter, externally, is a persistently active figure, working with the newly made community in her apartment and living day-to-day with newly found relationships. However, she remains within arms’ distance with others while providing help, working to her best to keep stability around her as much as she can. Her schedule, during the day, is extremely limited and refined by her to avoid as many external variables that may affect her and she does not want to even imagine or experience how she’ll respond.

Internally, however, Sophie Hatter is still a young woman who is grasping with the reality of what has happened to her during the invasion. Preceding the conquest, she already exhibited behaviors of a childhood that left her perception of the world altered and her self-perception low (to the point of being uncaring to her own safety). However, the inclusion of adversity from events during the war and the continuous exposure from her curse to her escape has heightened and created characteristics, responses, and coping mechanisms to handle what the mind is still attempting to fully comprehend/accept has happened.

Be note, that there are two events in the war that affected her: (1) discovering her decimated town/facing the its destruction and (2) her time before her “escape.”

Following DSM-5 and the Diagnostic Criteria for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (figure 43.10), Sophie has the following symptoms and tendencies underneath these particular categories: (Numbers denote which event is tied to what.)

A “Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violation in one (or more) of the following ways” [EVENT]

Directly experiencing the traumatic event - (1) The travel through the desolated country and seeing first-hand accounts of dead bodies, murder, and other atrocities ; (2) Detainment and what happened during then.

Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others - (1) The final bombings and scourge that swept over the valley ; (2) Was forced to watch mutilation and unethical experiments

B “Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred” [INTRUSION]

Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s) - (1) & (2) happens a lot but does not come out through direct and perfect images of what has happened. Usually plays out that she sees the dead bodies and imagines fire around her if moving too quickly or in areas that she avoids because of stimuli that can trigger her.

Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s) - Will enter a state of intrusive thoughts that will repeatedly tell her to leave and push her to go away. Would end up apologizing repeatedly and would begin her move as soon as possible.

Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s) - Turns blank in the face and stares out whenever stimuli (or a combination) is in contact with her ; memories will begin resurfacing mainly through smell, but she has routinely removed herself ASAP. Flight or fight response will be immensely present and it DOES depend on her hypervigilance and whether she is moonlighting as Simeon as not. if moonlighting, the “fight” reaction WILL be used and will devolve into violence. If not, Sophie’s immediate response will be to leave and leave as soon as possible, no matter what it is she is doing. Would end up shallowly breathing like there’s smoke in the air, holding herself, and bowing her head as if avoiding seeing something before her.

C “Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following” [AVOIDANCE]

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s) - (1) Continued rejection and avoidance of topics relating to latest conquests and usually avoids districts that are heavy with TAF occupation (bases, ports, air fields, etc.) ;

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s) - (2) Adamant refusal to enter or get close to medical facilities and certain smells like ammonia will make her hostile and intense (first mentioned in Headcanon Dump #1)

D “Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following” [NEGATIVE ALTERNATIONS IN COGNITIONS AND MOOD ASSOCIATED WITH THE EVENT]

Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs) - Confirmed for dissociative amnesia where the events of (1) and (2) meld together and the timeline is mixed together ; there are very specific images that do not reflect the real scene or are reduced from the original signifier (I.E., the specific image of draping/pouring red)

Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” “The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”) - Consistent and returning thoughts of worthlessness for self (’Why am I still here versus....?” ; others are seen to be temporary in her life and cannot be held onto for long ( “they need something from me, that’s why they’re here..”)

Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others - Consistent blame on herself for (2) but (1) is vehemently targeted towards both herself when it comes to the deaths of her community -AND- people she distinguishes as responsible for the outcome (Topaxi officials and, at times, associates of TAF ) and authority figures from her country

Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame) - Amplified when Simeon and the persona is seen as an outlet to let out these emotions she believe she needs to keep in line ; usually guilt, anger, and shame meshed together, which leads to fueling reckless behavior and decisions that may hurt herself (which she dubs as necessary)

E “Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following” [MARKED ALTERNATION IN AROUSAL AND REACTIVITY]

Irritable behavior (with little to no provocation) towards objects and people - Most visible when moonlighting as Simeon.

Reckless or self-destructive behavior - Refer to purpose of Simeon persona and her views on her livelihood and how she actively “punishes” herself.

Hypervigilance. - Already present in Sophie, worsened from war. Contributing to this would be her consistency to keep her and her night persona separated; add on need to keep herself on a low-profile and not recognizable in certain locations with medical personnel and researchers.

Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep) - Already present in Sophie, worsened from war.

F “Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) is more than 1 month.”

Has been persistent throughout the ~2 years she has been living in Topaxi.

G “The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.”

Confirmed.

H “The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., medication, alcohol) or another medical condition.”

Not able to be found in context of the comorbidity exhibited by Sophie. Many new symptoms took form after the experiences she had in war. To note, she has been showing signs of a new comorbidity (substance reliance, alcohol).

SPECIFICATION: Depersonalization with delayed expression (taken a year for these symptoms to begin).

- - -

Sophie Hatter, as previously described, is someone who is coping with trauma through the best way she knows and has done before with her other trauma: ignoring it and shunning herself. However, she has particular outlets that may come of casual consumption of alcohol which happens concerningly frequent throughout certain days if stimuli are present.

Additionally, while Simeon is throughout the criteria, they were not originally made as a result of what occurred. The original creation of Simeon was meant to be a persona she could use to live a “double life” as she needed to make more money and dangerous work paid well. Having them as separate lives, in her eyes, keeps her safe from anyone targeting or her family (but, it is clear that her sisters and stepmother are not on the island).

Instead, they have became a violent outlet for her internalized dread, anguish, and anger. Having the “informant” as an extension of herself, excusing bad decisions and feeling out of her body while the world around her happens, has proven detrimental to the process of the awareness, acknowledgement, assistance, and acceptance of her condition.

Here are several examples of Sophie’s PTSD appearing:

Self-harm/demanding herself to be hurt/trying to mark herself and punish herself

Haggardly, Simeon grimaces while their vest was shed off and resting on the tower hanger, alongside their binder beside it. Their dress shirt was half-way unbuttoned. Over their exposed shoulders and underneath their breasts were imprints.

Scarred fingertip digs into their collarbone. A sharp jab into their clavicle, feeling a minor ache as they push further. Bruise, damn it. Make some mark. Make color, be red.

-- EXCERPT FROM THIS DRABBLE (SOPHIE’S DISPOSITION).

Association with red and the bleeding of traumatic events (1) and (2) joining together, causing her to respond blankly to the situation before being distracted by Yunuen speaking

Red skies, red sparks, red flow, red blossoms in the sky, red stained on metal, red dyeing gowns, red fringes framing a scratched off face that hovers over your pinned body, red hot pain searing into your body, red, red, red red-

-- EXCEPT FROM THIS THREAD (FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH YUNUEN).

Survivor’s guilt and persistent negativity directed at herself because of her survival (The marks are related to (2) and the thought is related to (1)):

On her right hip, roughly the same size as the other, but longer as it had dragged along said hip, the scar was horizontal and deeper than its neighbor, visible from its crinkled appearance. Reminders of life’s misplaced luck, she concludes, not used wisely by Fate this time around. How silly of them to pick me.

-- EXCERPT FROM SILVER STIGMATA (PHYSICAL SURVEY)

Hypervigilance and abundance of stimuli that make her extremely uncomfortable/distrusting of situation:

A heaviness swells in their chest, an unshakable pressure tightening their rib cage, and yet, this was only normal symptoms of living a life like this. Industrial foulness mixed with fresh market fragrances from the decadent and wealthy market by the mouth of the alley; all the more gag-inducing for the young informant.

However, they clutch onto the empty box in their hands, making out the plastic ridges against the faintest callouses on the tip of their fingers They weren’t ignorant to the truth; how these sounds that place them on edge, instead soothed others. After all, this was home for many. But, for Simeon – rather, the one beneath the mask, it was not. And it never would be.

-- EXCERPT FROM THREAD (discontinued as person is inactive in verse)

One of the first instances of Sophie’s PTSD affecting her and being active in a thread would be her firstt, but short-lived, interaction with Tatyana. The avoidance nature and immediate removal from the situation happens in this case when Tatyana revs up the engine on her motorcycle, shouting from a stranger from the apartments joins in, and the heavy and direct smell and vision of smog.

Here’s the break down:

Physiological numbness in the moment; mind is still active, but taking a backseat and removing herself from situation (recognizing self as powerless in moment):

The shouting began as Sophie turns her face away, feeling her skin crawl to a coldness. The words that left his mouth were no less understandable but the ferocity and indignation in his tone was far too recognizable. If she considered it, she could’ve spoken back and defused the situation. The gift of tongues came with the ability to grant passage for others who can’t be brought together by difference of languages.

Physiological response and addition of stimuli that directly relate back to the image of hometown [INTRUSION]:

Sophie Hatter’s eyes are now but a distant gaze over towards the taller blonde, only wishing like she did when she was younger. To disappear, to toil and fade away, to crawl back to whence she came from. Roaring engines, the smell of smoke, it was sickening. It was inespacable in the floating island, but it smelled too much like what remained of home. Add onto the shouting and it was already enough to make her head ache.

(Unknowingly) reenacting particular body language used during trauma; feeling of helplessness in situation that is out of her control:

Some of her body was already numbing at the fingertips and she was pulling the black collar of her turtleneck over her mouth and nose. It wouldn’t work to cushion and black the sounds, their volume growing louder and louder like the pain in her head.

Active avoidance, mind begins flight-or-fight situation with altered perceptive of reality:

“I need somewhere quiet.” She feebly comments, glancing back to the apartment buildings, and believing that there were more people creeping by the windows. The silver-haired woman promptly steps aside. Now, she was ready to shuffle away and avoid the incoming shouts on the block if it continued.

She wasn’t a fan of the memories it brought.

Sudden and abrupt removal from situation, signal of struggling to keep body language together as she wants to avoid an episode:

“Good luck,” she waves a hand, glancing back to the stranger, before balling her hands into the pockets of her sweater. She began her quiet leave.

- - -

More is to be written about Sophie in how she is greatly affected by this. Some drabbles have been scrapped and were planned to express how deep the trauma works. Though, it can be already seen in how Sophie views death, treats her body, a persistently negative view on certain parties and the outcome of life, etc.

Drabbles that were scrapped but would be considered “canon” that relay back to Sophie’s trauma would include:

As Simeon at Lunazul, she ends up getting to a brawl with someone after the table next to hers is repeatedly mentioning the conquests and graphic detail of what has happened to unnamed people (unnamed nationalistic person). Ends up intensely cold, getting up from her seat, and nearly beating the man unconscious with far too much wrath in her body; she rushes out of the bar and has a sobbing breakdown several blocks away.

A confrontation of “Red” that she remembers time and time again; a consistent night terror that follows her nd makes her unable to sleep some nights; actively ‘speaks’ to it while in sleep paralysis and it acknowledges her well. Scene usually ends up with “Red” above her, face reveals to be face heavily mutilated and gouged, screaming loudly and repeatedly at Sophie.

A shutdown in public when there are large amounts of traffic near her because a detour led her to the highway; leading her to hide somewhere and refusing to come out until “they drive away,” which makes her miss the day she’s meant to be working at Miya’s detective office.

A short meeting with one of her neighbor’s children, a young 26-year-old working at a hospital in Central and professor at UCAT, still wearing their scrubs and the heavy smell of ammonia on them. The image itself leaves Sophie cutting conversation short and retreating to her apartment.

- - -

Sophie Hatter is a 20-year-old facing the aftermath of exile from her own country and self and the trauma coming with displacement and surviving the horrors of the world. She is by no means a hopeless case or a lost cause.

But, she is someone who is going to go through development as someone who struggles constantly: as someone who is unsure of what to do with her life, as much as she wants to live normally, her stability and infrastructure has been destroyed her very eyes. She attempts to reconstruct herself but fails to realize how that’d harm her because she is actively avoiding what has happened to her and denies herself that all of this happened.

She believes she can “make up” for something she calls an inadequacy and blames herself for. She “makes up” for it by being a community figure in a place that she would never feel right in or safe in; she "makes up” for it by being a reputable person who would never turn down anyone and offers help whenever she can; she “makes up” by continuously lying to herself and hurting herself.

Part of her screams, another part weeps; one part wants to take vengeance, tear apart everything, and the other wants to curl up and lose herself to the numbness. But, she persists in her hurt with a solution that even worsens these parts that want comfort and healing.

It is a difficult reality she must navigate, which is difficult because she is alone.

No matter how anyone looks at it, the path of exile is a lonesome one when you do not recognize there are someone else’s footprints on the dirt road. Her feet are long tired, dirtied, and bloodied by how far she dragged herself across this time to figure herself out.... But, with each passing day, it seems she’s getting further and further out from anyone’s reach, and before she knows it, she’ll be going down a path of destruction that’d engulf those around her in ash, fire, and death.

#( in which we learn about the eldest ; headcanons )#( verse: ¿cual tu vas a ser? dentro del espejo ves; ¿algiuen más en ese cuerpo? | yni )#trauma tw #ptsd tw #war tw #death tw

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donkeygold39 · 3 years

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Ultraformer 3 Hifu Face Lifting & Contouring As Well As Skin Firm Procedure Clinically Verified.

Botox Treatment Option - Obtaining The Most Effective Component For Your Money.

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What Is Hifu Therapy For Face?

Just How Much Does Hifu Expense?

Book An Appointment.

the glabellar area is the location of room in between the brows and above the nose. Botox shots are offered between the eyebrows to restrict the look of frown lines and creases because area. In many cases, it is advised that you not obtain botox treatment for TMD. The factor for this is since botox is viewed as equally as harmful as surgical procedure as a result of it being a toxic substance. Some specialists claim botox needs to be utilized for TMD patients as a last resource. Different steps like chewing softer foods and talking much less are additionally advised. According to a botox for bruxism research, Dr. Joseph Jankovic, an elderly scientist, and teacher of neurology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston thinks botox ought to be the treatment of selection.

Sometimes preventative measures will ignite your passion and turn you away from an actual therapy that will aid you long term. The following examples serve while you are trying to identify the best route of treatment or alongside your botox therapy, yet alone they will certainly not suffice. Botox will be injected directly into the problemed masseter muscle triggering it to loosen up debilitating its stamina. As you repeatedly proceed this process with your doctor's recommendations, with time the masseter muscle mass will certainly decrease in size.

What Is Hifu Therapy For Face?

Asides the normal discomfort that is expected from inserting a needle into any kind of component of the body, a shot of Botox does not trigger more than a pinch or sting. The mechanism of action of Botox is primarily the same for all the problems the drug is used for.

The Botulinum toxic substance is utilized to decrease fine lines and also wrinkles and also injected in very little focus right into the desired area by your expert utilizing a syringe as well as a small needle. Botox ® enables specialists to essentially deal with both dynamic creases, those seen throughout muscle contraction, as well as static creases, those which show up at remainder. Botox is authorized for the treatment of serious underarm sweating in people 18 years and older. It is just used when treatment with topical representatives and also antiperspirants have verified inefficient. The safety and security or effectiveness of making use of Botox in dealing with too much sweating in position apart from the underarms has actually not been developed.

How Much Does Hifu Cost?

He has an engineering history along with being a very skilled dental practitioner; additionally, he discusses incredibly well and also clearly works to the highest standard. ' It's completely pain-free' needs to rank as one of the most informed hinge on background. So usually, nurses trying to be kind have actually told us or our children that an injection will not injure a little bit. Lot of times the declaration ends up being credible, as just slight pain is really felt. Botox injection has to fall under often times in this conversation. Under regular scenarios, conjecturing of Botox has actually not been associated with modest discomfort, talk less of severe discomfort.

This central sensitization takes place at several degrees of CNS starting with the spinal cord nerve cells as well as complied with by the brain stem, thalamic, and also cortical degrees. There is evidence from molecular biology, electrophysiological examinations, and neuroimaging researches that pathological problems associated with chronic low back pain can generating main sensitization. In conditions such as herniated disc or trauma, DRG and also spine nerve injuries bring about the generation of ectopic discharges in DRG neurons causing hyperexcitability of spine sensory nerve cells. Multifidus musclefills up the groove in either side of the back processes of the vertebrae from the sacrum to the coccyx. In the back area, its fibers affix to mamillary procedures of all back vertebrae.

Publication A Consultation.

You ought to wrap the ice in a towel before using it on the affected location with minor pressure. Owing to a childhood in Scotland years ago and years of taking a trip as well as an injury to my jaw from a climbing up accident, I have actually needed to see well over 20 dental experts throughout my life. I have experience of dentists in several nations and work has actually included implants as well as various other rather complex job. When I saw Dr Vahid at Bayswater, he created a thorough strategy, that included some aesthetic work as I wanted to look my ideal for my marriage a couple of months ago. Not only did he explain every stage of the strategy but he listened thoroughly to what I wanted or believed I desired and also adjusted accordingly. His cosmetic job was outstanding and also the other work that he did on dental care that was failing was the very best I have ever experienced.

Multifidus muscle mass, like facet joints, are innervated by the median branch of the dorsal ramus of the spinal nerves. The lumbosacral area contains a variety of muscular tissues prepared at different degrees. These muscular tissues stabilize the back as well as permit activity of the reduced back in various instructions.

Hifu: A Quick Overview.

The mind manages all the activities in the body by the action of nerves which bring chemical signals. Sweat is produced by the gland after receiving a chemical signal from the brain. Administration of Botox to the underarm area momentarily obstructs the transmission of signals from the mind to the gland existing in the armpit. This quits sweat production in that area for the period through which the Botox shot acts. By infusing botulinum toxic substance in the treated location, it simply quits the acetylcholine launch. This, consequently, means that acetylcholine does not travel down the nerves and therefore can not affix itself to receptors on the muscle cells-- thus combating muscle cells tightening. It is then connected to receptors on the cells of the muscle, producing muscle cell tightening.

What is the most effective non surgical face lift?

The best non-surgical facelift device using ultrasound is Ultherapy. There are many device options for RF treatments. there are online Non surgical facelift Berkshire deliver energy internally using a small probe placed under the skin. Another form of energy used to tighten the neck skin is ultrasound.

In pet studies, peripherally injected rimabotulinumtoxinB obstructs launch of substance P from DRG and also dorsal horn neurons and lowers dorsal horn neuronal activation (c-Fos) stimulated by formalin injection. In chronic pain states, peripheral sensitization because of accumulation of discomfort arbitrators and inflammatory agents causes central sensitization that is believed to add to discomfort chronicity.

Liquid Facelift Therapy Alternatives Readily Available In Cardiff.

The vast majority of cases of LBP are self-limiting and also settle within a few weeks. Nonetheless, approximately Collagen restoration Facelift Bedfordshire to 10% of people can have consistent signs connected with mental illness and also special needs. Several therapy alternatives are readily available, yet regardless of this, numerous people are incapable to attain sufficient alleviation as well as look for various healing methods. Sanitation of the treated areas might be necessary to stop infection. The injury brought upon on the injection site is always tiny as well as should not take more than a day to recover up. Within the 24-hour duration, you must not touch your confront with unwashed hands. If you start feeling relentless pain or notification too much swelling or soreness in the injection area, using a cold pack must make your symptoms disappear.

Focal Ultrasound Ablation Demonstrates Utility as Primary Therapy in Prostate Cancer - OncLive

Focal Ultrasound Ablation Demonstrates Utility as Primary Therapy in Prostate Cancer.

Posted: Tue, 15 Sep 2020 07:00:00 GMT [source]

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gallusrostromegalus · 6 years

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Jesus Tea 2.0

OK, so since the Original post is a bit of an organizational mess and I’ve been getting asks and having to clarify things, here is the new, More comprehensible Recipe of JESUS TEA:

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, trained herbalist, or even a particularly good cook but this shit tastes like it came from God Themselves, and considently makes be feel drastically better when I get Colds, the flu or sinus infections.

PART ONE DO NOT SKIP: SALT RINSE

Ingredients:

1Tsp salt. Doesn’t have to be fancy but if fancy salt will make you feel better then u do that.

1 small glass warm water

Dissolve salt in small glass of warm water. Take large sips and gargle, then spit the water out, repeat until your throat feels like something you can breathe with insead of a rubber hose full of Pain Slime. My doctor explained once how the salt breaks up the mucus buildup somehow, but I was high off my mind on Dayquil and was distracted by her third eye and don’t remember.

Point is, gargling salt rinse will help with clearing mucus out of you swollen face and help with the pain and breathing.

Part B THE ACTUAL RECIPE:

Tools:

Large Pot (just make a ton of this at once so you can go back for mugs)

Tea Infusers/Coffee filters/those little cloth bags: For steeping tea.

Working Stovetop

Ingredients:

1 Quart water, if you want more, double recipe.

2TBs Chamomile (in an infuser)

3TBS Roobois (in an infuser)

1 tsp each: cloves, cumin, cardamom

1/2 tsp each: white or cayenne pepper, Tumeric.

1/4 nutmeg

1/4 powdered cinnamon or 1 small stick

Slice or 3 of giger root

2-bay leaves (all of the above in an infuser)

1/4 cup or 1 lemon’s worth of juice

2 cups 100%+ Vitamin C Apple juice- cloudy juice or American Cider (NOT ALCOHOLIC CIDER) taste the best.

A Shitwhack of Honey

HHOW TO MAKE THE THING:

Put water in pot, bring to a high simmer/not quite boil, reduce heat to medium, add infusers of Chamomile, roobois, and spices. Steep until tea is dark and fragrant even to your sad, clogged up nose, about 3-5 min depending on taste.

Remove from heat and allow to cool to a drinkable temperature and add lemon juice, apple juice and Shitwhack of honey:

How T pour a shitwhack of honey: Open up cap on honey and start pouring. Keep pouring. Your spouse or roommate or parent will coem by and say in a cencerned voice “Isn’t that enough honey?”

“No.” you say.

There is never enough magic bee juice.

Let the bees heal you.

Drink the tea by the mug, alternating with glasses of water and occasional salt rinse until you are hydrated and no lnger feel like death warmed over.

FAQ:

Can I use this instead of Cold Meds? NO. This only treat symptoms and beyond staying hydrated, won’t help heal you. Be sure to get vaccinated if you can, and take the appropriate medications. If your fever/symptoms last for more than 5-7 days, go see a doctor ASAP becuase Influenza is a dangerous disease and NOT to be fucked with.

I understand full well that modern captialism is bitch and that it’s hard to get time off to be sick but you can help your fellow proletariat by frequently washing your hands and avoiding touching things, keeping your face covered when possible, and being kind to yourself when you’re off work.

A Note about Cold Meds: As I found recently, lots of cold medication can interact dangerously with lots of Mental Illness medictions like SSRIs, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers etc. If you’re on ANY kind of long-term medication, use a Drug Interaction Checker to make sure you don’t accidentally fuck yourself up like I have.

Can I put Booze in? I extremely reccomend NOT doing so, as Alcohol is a sedative that can interact badly with cold meds, and taking sedatives while you’re having trouble breathing is not a great plan. Don’t make your liver work overtime when you’re already sick. If you’re perfectly healthy and think this is tasty, feel free to add whiskey or whatever to it.

Can I substitute differnet Ingredients? Sure! This recipie is a general guideline and you can add or remove whatever you want. Some Reccomendations Adding tea: You could probably add a regular Black tea and have it taste fine. I don’t because the caffiene keeps me awake and I want to sleep when sick. If you can’t have chamomile, green tea will have simmilar effects and flavor, but it also has a tocuh of caffine to it.

I want it spicier! The Fire will heal me!: Add: More ginger, more cayenne, or a bit of sriracha at the end, with the honey.

I’m a spice weenie!: Less tumeric, ginger or pepper, maybe trim the lemon, but it’s good for your throat.

I can’t have Magic Bee Juice: That’s fine! Use whatever sweetener you like. I like honey because it tastes good and sometimes it helps throat pain the way others don’t.

On Apple Juices: Check the label of you apple Juice to make sure it’s the kind with 100% or more of your DV of Vitamin C, becuase that will help treat the uncomfotable symptons of your particular yuck and help you recover faster. Juicy Juice and Motts tend to be good brands.

On Meausrements: I’m an american and bad at math. Everything’s in nonmetric and I have no idea how to convert it to Civlized measurments. Sorry.

#Food #tonight's dinner is #Jesus Tea

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whitetomatoes · 4 years

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9 Professional Athletes Share The Workout and Fitness Tips That Got Them to the Top

As a reader of Men's Health, it would seem a fair assumption that you know what's required to stay healthy, both in body and mind. Less known, however, is how the men and women at an elite level keep themselves at the top of their game for years — sometimes decades — on end, surpassing feats that previously weren't thought possible.

Below, we've compiled nine case studies from our annual Body Issue, an edition of Men's Health that celebrates a tapestry of world-beating champions, each with a body that's built for purpose — whether that's running 26.2 miles in under two hours, hoarding gold medals at the Olympics or being crowned The Fittest Man on Earth consecutively for four years. This is what it takes to reach the top.

Eliud Kipchoge The Greatest Marathon Runner of All Time: 35-Years-Old, 170cm, 56kg

In most sports, the issue of who is the GOAT is a matter of endless contention. In the world of long-distance running, however, there is simply no dispute: Eliud Kipchoge is the most extraordinary athlete over a distance of 26.2 miles that the world has ever seen.

In 2012, the remarkable Kenyan finished his first half-marathon in under an hour, the third-fastest debut ever. A year later, he won his first marathon in Hamburg, beating the field by more than two minutes and setting a course record.

For his first major in Berlin, just a few months on, he came second behind former world-record holder Wilson Kipsang. Even then, he still posted the fifth-fastest time in history. Since that relative disappointment, he has won every marathon he’s run on the world stage, including the gold medal at the Rio Olympics. That’s 11 in a row, including Berlin and London four times.

Then, last October in Vienna, Kipchoge set out to achieve the impossible. The sub-two-hour marathon had been mythologised possibly even more than the four-minute mile. He had trained relentlessly, clocking 140 miles per week, combining punishing speed sessions and strength training, all at high altitudes. But it was perhaps Kipchoge’s mental strength that proved decisive in Austria.“Some people believe it is impossible,” he said before the event. “My team and I believe it is possible. We will prove them wrong.” When Kipchoge broke the tape in Vienna, one hour, 59 minutes and 40 seconds after he started, he not only proved his doubters wrong – he turned a collective dream into reality.

"I believe in a calm, simple and low-profile life. You live simply, you train hard"

“It’s not just the speed at which he runs and the incredible endurance that sustains him,” says Rick Pearson, senior editor of Runner’s World. “It’s the way he does it. Kipchoge’s running style is a thing of beauty – pure poetry in motion. It’s smooth, it’s serene, there’s no wasted effort. And somehow, he tops it all off with a megawatt smile.”

Indeed, what makes Kipchoge’s achievements all the more astounding is his humility. In between running, he works on the family farm, collecting and chopping vegetables. “In life, the idea is to be happy,” he says. “So, I believe in a calm, simple and low-profile life. You live simply, you train hard, and you live an honest life. Then you are free.”

Peaty harnessed his competitiveness to push himself to new lengths

Tom Watkins

Adam Peaty The Leviathan of the Olympic Pool: 25-Years_old, 191cm, 93kg

By Ted Lane

Hitting the pool is a tranquil way to boost fitness and sink stress – at least, it is for ordinary men. Olympic gold medallist Adam Peaty takes a more combative approach. “I love the aggression of racing,” he says. “You have to be very composed when you’re swimming, but I use that composure in an angry way.” If you’ve been following Peaty on Instagram during the lockdown, you will have seen him repping out parallette press-ups in a weighted vest, wearing all black and sporting a quarantine buzz cut. This militant aesthetic only serves to reinforce the brutality of his workouts.

This focused aggression has yielded exceptional results. As well as becoming the first male British swimmer to win the gold medal in the 100m breaststroke for 24 years at the 2016 Olympics in Rio, Peaty has set 11 swimming world records. He became the first man to break the hallowed 58-second mark in the same event. Then he broke the 57-second mark.

“In the water, all of this comes from your core – it powers every stroke.”

“Adam has got reality distortion,” says coach and 2004 Olympian Mel Marshall. “He doesn’t see limits – he just sees opportunities.” Which comes in handy when Marshall floods his week with a staggering workload, both in the pool and on dry land. Peaty swims a breathtaking 50km each week; 5km in the morning, 5km in the afternoon, Monday to Friday. But it’s far from a mind-numbing slog. “Tuesday afternoon is intense,” says Marshall. “He does 40 25m reps – each one in 60 seconds. That’s 12 seconds of sprinting, 50-ish seconds of recovery, 40 times.”

It may lack a barbell, but it’s an EMOM workout to make you wince. “His other high-intensity session is 20 100m reps: four reps at lactate threshold [30bpm below his maximum heart rate], with one recovery, then three reps at his VO max [10bpm below his maximum heart rate], with two recovery, and repeat.” And that’s just his pool work.

Peaty’s gym sessions dovetail with his water-based workouts. On Mondays, he follows up a kick-based pool session with an upper-body shift pumping iron. There’s a lot of core work, too. “On dry land, you have the ground to offer stability and provide leverage for movement,” says Marshall. “In the water, all of this comes from your core – it powers every stroke.”

By his own admission, Peaty is intensely competitive – fiercely, even. But it’s his ability to absorb the workload that sets him apart. “He recovers incredibly quickly and he adapts incredibly quickly,” says Marshall. Curiously, his coach feels that it’s the foundations laid in the gym early on that are ultimately responsible for his success.

“Starting young means he can take advantage of all of those hormones coursing through his body,” says Marshall. “And those benefits then continue. The man is a workhorse.” Which is bad news for those playing catch-up before the next Olympics.

Joshua reclaimed all he had lost by learning to play to his strengths

David Venni

Anthony Joshua Unified Heavyweight Boxing Champion: 30-Years-Old, 198cm, 108kg

By David Morton

Men's Health: Last December, you went into your second fight with Andy Ruiz with a noticeably different game plan to when you lost your titles – WBA, IBF, WBO and IBO – to him earlier in 2019. Was that the key to winning your belts back?

AJ: I think it’s all about adapting. Different circumstances require different preparation. It was the same war, but I had learned a lot from the first battle. Ruiz isn’t the type of fighter that you go head to head with. For the first fight, I was planning on going in there and trading with him. But there’s an old boxing saying: “You don’t hook with a hooker!” So, what did I do? I went in there and hooked with a hooker and the actual hooker came out on top.In the second fight, I went in there and he tried to box with a boxer. And I came out on top. I had to learn what my strengths were and what his weaknesses were, and then I just boxed to those. That’s your basic foundation: never play to someone else’s strengths. In anything you do, everyone has their own strengths. If you play to theirs rather than yours, they are always going to come off better than you in the long run.

This content is imported from YouTube. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

MH: You weighed in almost 5kg lighter for the second fight and were under 108kg for the first time since 2014. How did you adapt your training to come in so visibly leaner?

AJ: Ha, ha! You want me to give away my secrets? You’ve just got to be specific. Training is all about what you’re trying to achieve. To prepare for 12 rounds of boxing, it sounds obvious, but you’ve got to box, box, box. And that’s what we did.

There’s not much point boxing and then spending time in the swimming pool to build endurance, because all you’re doing is building swimming endurance. The same goes for boxing a little bit and then spending hours lifting weights, because that’s for weightlifters. The best boxing stamina work you can do is to hit the heavy bag or shadow box. Everything that involves boxing without getting injured is the best form of training.

It’s a simple thing that’s easy to overlook. If you want to get good at something, do that thing. Focus on it. We try to add this and that, strip it back. But you need to box more if you want to be in shape for boxing.

Joshua found success in stripping back his approach

David Venni

MH: In what way did you change your nutrition? Is it true that Wladimir Klitschko advised you to reduce your salt intake?

AJ: I did cut out salt leading up to that fight. But the food was so bland! You don’t realise how much we depend on salts and sugars. When you remove them, you realise what the true taste of food is like. It had a real benefit, though, because it stripped my body of all the excess sugar and salt I didn’t need, and I managed to lose a shedload of weight.

Chicken and broccoli are tough when you can’t put any spice on them. Someone said to me that it’s not the chicken we like – it’s the spice and the sauces. That’s why I think vegetarians and vegans are onto something. We’re not meant to like chicken. They put the same sauces and spices on vegetables and get that taste and texture.

MH: What’s your diet like coming up to a weigh-in for a fight?

AJ: It’s pretty spot on. Weigh-in is usually about 2pm, so I will have had breakfast and lunch by then. Luckily, I don’t have to “make” weight, so I just continue my preparations like it’s another day. I don’t prepare for the scales; I just use it as an opportunity to showcase my work ethic and how hard I’ve been training.

MH: All boxers come in for criticism on social media. How do you handle negative comments or haters?

AJ: I think that it’s hard to ignore it. I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t pay attention to any of that, because it’s impossible not to see it. I started my social media on my own and, even though it has turned into a business page, I still handle a lot of it myself. I think that it’s fine to have doubters, as long as you don’t believe what they’re saying the whole time. You have to prove your doubters wrong. When they don’t believe, you should always believe.

"You’ve got to be specific: training is all about what you are trying to achieve"

The doubters aren’t always bad, either. You just have to try to find something positive out of it. They might say, “You’re shit, and you’re going to get knocked out because your hands are too low” – and I would think, “That’s a good indication I’ve got to keep my left hand up.” I use the doubters as a positive factor, not as a negative one.

MH: You’ve occasionally been called out for being more of an aesthete than an athlete. What do you think is the most underrated part of a boxer’s physique?

AJ: Their head! That’s where you take the most punishment. Everyone says it’s all about a good chin, but it’s actually your whole head. You get battered: left and right temples, forehead, nose, mouth, ears. The ears always hurt. Everyone looks at my biceps and the abs. But it’s your head that gets forgotten. What’s the best piece of advice that you would give to somebody who is trying to make it in boxing? I would tell them to talk to themselves and mentally prepare themselves.

You can always try to see a meditation specialist or a psychologist, but I think that the only way to test your greatness is to truly be in a position of adversity. You’re never going to find out how great you are by sitting on a beach. Boxers should talk to themselves more in the gym – build up those mental callouses. You’ve got to know that you are tough enough to get through this.

Murray returned to glory by channelling his will to achieve

David Clerihew

Andy Murray The Comeback Kid from Dunblane: 33-Years-Old, 190cm, 84kg

By Paul Wilson

At 5.09am on Saturday 4 August 2018, alone in a hotel bed in Washington, DC, two hours after he sobbed into his towel at the end of his first third-round win for a year, Andy Murray took a long, hard look into the black mirror of his iPhone and pressed record.

“It was a really emotional night for me, because I felt like I’m coming to the end and I’m really sad about that, because…” – his voice breaks, as he wipes tears from his eyes. “I really want to keep going but my body is telling me, ‘No.’ So… It hurts. And, yeah, I’m sorry that I can’t keep going.”

At the end of the 2016 tennis season, Murray was the world’s number one, the reigning Wimbledon champion and entering the imperial phase of his career. The following summer, a chronic hip problem got so bad that he couldn’t put on his shoes and socks. From there, he endured a two-year period during which he barely played, with two major surgeries, in January 2018 and January 2019 – the latter leaving him with a metal cap in his right hip socket.

“I think you look for miracles”

A week before that second op, there were more tears, this time in front of other people’s cameras at a press conference at the Australian Open, as he realised that the Grand Slam might be his last. (He lost his first-round match in five sets.) Tennis experts outside Murray’s circle thought he would never play again. Those inside knew that “never” is not in their man’s vocabulary.

“I think you look for miracles,” said Mark Bender, Murray’s physiotherapist, of competing at the top level with a metal hip. “But when you’ve got somebody who really wants to achieve and is going all-in, everybody buys into the hope that something magical can happen.” And, of course, it did.

Ten months after the DC dawn confessional, five after his second hip operation, Murray won the doubles at Queens in June 2019 and then the European Open in Antwerp in October – his first singles title for 30 months. After that, pelvic injury cut his year short. He hasn’t played in 2020.

Murray’s commitment to not merely return from setbacks but to excel makes him exceptional. He might well be enjoying (if that’s the right word) the current enforced lockdown – after all, there’s no pressure to be match-fit when there are no matches to play. But you can be sure that no one will be more determined to come back ready to play at the absolute best of his abilities.

Lewis Hamilton The Formula 1 Driver in Top Gear: 35-Years-Old, 174cm, 69kg

By Giuliano Donati

MH: Next season, you have the chance to match Michael Schumacher’s record of seven Formula 1 world championships. Nervous?

LH: I honestly don’t think about it much. I don’t want it to be a distraction. I’m currently the world champion but, every year, I start from scratch. I just want to be at the top of my game in a physical sense, just as I want my car to be the best in terms of engineering. How can I make sure I’m ahead of everyone else? How can I be more consistent, meticulous and precise? How can I better understand the technology? That’s what I focus on.

MH: What do you do to stay at the top, physically speaking?

LH: I like lifting weights, but I have to make sure that I don’t overdo it. Formula 1 drivers can’t be too heavy: more muscle means more kilos. It’s also disadvantageous to put too much muscle on your shoulders and arms, because you need to have a low centre of gravity in the car.

It’s important to have a good cardiovascular system as a driver. Over the course of a two-hour race, you might have an average heartbeat of 160-170bpm. During qualifying, it can go up to 190bpm. That’s why I do a lot of running. Sprints are a part of every workout.

MH: How has your training evolved since you started out in F1 almost 15 years ago?

LH: When I was young, I had a lot of energy and felt I could do anything. I didn’t have a strategy, and I didn’t stretch: I just got in the car and drove to win. But over the years, I’ve experimented with a number of different disciplines, like boxing and muay Thai. These days, I do lots of pilates, focusing on the core – the muscles beneath the muscles.

"I’m more mobile and in better shape than I was at 25"

MH: What’s your approach to nutrition?

LH: Three years ago, I decided to follow a plant-based diet. The only thing I regret is not having done it before. My taste buds have learned about things that I never thought I would eat and that I now love: falafel, avocado, beetroot, fresh and dried fruit. I’ve also noticed a marked improvement in my fitness level since I switched, which is motivating.

MH: So, you credit your plant-based diet with helping you stay at your peak?

LH: I was already at the top before changing my approach to food, but I was definitely struggling more and my energy was inconsistent. I had days when I felt strong and others when I was just sapped. When I switched to a plant-based diet, those highs and lows decreased significantly.

I’ve also noticed positive effects on my sleep and on my health in general. The benefits keep coming, and I’ve honestly never felt better. I’m 35 now, and though theoretically I should be less fit than before, I’m more mobile and in better shape than I was at 25.

Smart tweaks to nutrition and training have kept Hamilton in the fast lane

David Clerihew

MH: F1 is high octane, high adrenalin. How do you rest and recharge?

LH: Unplugging is a fundamental part of my routine. It’s so important to decompress after a race, so you can face the next one with a clear mind. I love spending time with my friends and family. Being with them helps me relax and focus my energy. But I can’t live without adrenalin. I love anything that makes my heart beat faster, whether that’s skiing, sky-diving, surfing or training.

MH: What are you most proud of achieving in your career?

LH: I was the first working-class Black F1 champion. I’m proud to have paved the way for others. One of my favourite phrases is: “You can’t be what you don’t see.” Anyone who sees me on the podium, even if it’s a child, can be inspired to follow their dreams. If that happens, I’ll have done my job well. Diversity is a problem that Formula 1 has to face up to. I want to do my part in helping the sport make progress, not only by inspiring others but also by collaborating to create more opportunities for people from different communities.

Mental discipline made Fraser the undisputed king of fitness

Hamish Brown

Mat Fraser Reigning CrossFit Games Champion: 30-Years-Old, 170cm, 88kg

By David Morton

MH: How are you managing to keep up with your training in lockdown?

MF: I’m in Kentucky right now with my friend and training partner [female CrossFit Games champion] Tia-Clair Toomey. With all of the gyms shut down, we thought we’d make the best of it and came out to a buddy’s lodge, which is usually used by rock climbers. We kinda just moved in and brought all our equipment with us. Our partners are here, too, so we’re just congregating as a big unit.

MH: You clearly have a tight network. You share the same agent, and Tia’s husband, Shane Orr, is your coach. How important is that set-up for you?

MF: It’s crucial. You’ve got to be surrounded by good people – people you belong with, who are like-minded. We’re in a unique situation, because we’ve been able to come together during this pandemic and train and hang out and go through this rollercoaster of emotions as a group. But current events aside, I know that I perform better when I’m happy and life is good.

Training with Tia didn’t just come about because we were located in the same place. I’ve been located in the same place as other training partners before, and it didn’t work out quite as well. I started working with Shane not because it was convenient, but because I liked what he was doing. Regardless of the fact that I was around him every day, I saw what he was doing, liked his demeanour, liked his attitude to everything. And most of all, I liked his programming.

The fact that we get along well as friends is just a bonus. The four of us all lived together before the Games last summer. That was a rare situation but it worked, and we had a great time doing it. We woke up every morning excited to put ourselves through what we had to go through. That’s always been the most important thing for me – keeping that good headspace while in training.

MH: Here in the UK, most people are having to train at home without the sort of kit you guys have. What would you do if you only had your bodyweight and a dumbbell or kettlebell?

MF: We actually try to use minimal equipment quite often, because it keeps you thinking outside the box. Yes, we have access to a lot of equipment, but we’ve been making sure that we keep changing it up with burpees, press-ups, air squats.

Whenever I train with bodyweight, I try to set it up as an EMOM [every minute, on the minute]. For me, those longer workouts are more of a mental barrier than a physical one. I know that I’m physically capable of it, but it’s whether it can keep my attention and keep me engaged for long enough to get a good workout in. So, I always put it into an EMOM, where you’re only looking at 40 seconds of work and 20 seconds’ rest before moving onto the next station. I’m only looking 40 seconds ahead, instead of being two or three rounds into a regular workout and thinking, “Oh, my gosh! I’ve still got 30 minutes left. I’m not even halfway!” With an EMOM, the light at the end of the tunnel is only 40 seconds away, and then you can have a sip of water or sit in front of a fan.

"Lifestyle stuff came to the fore: terrible diet, terrible sleep schedule, terrible attitude"

MH: You alluded to mental strength there. You finished second twice at the CrossFit Games, before going on your dominant run. What was it that changed? Do you think it was your mental game?

MF: I’d say it was half-mental and half-lifestyle. The first time I came second at the Games, I had no real idea what I was doing. You know, I was brand new to CrossFit and showing up at the gym when I could. I was a happy-go-lucky youngster, that first year.

The second year was when all of my lifestyle stuff came to the fore: terrible diet, terrible sleep schedule, terrible attitude mentally. I can’t say that my time in the gym wasn’t great. I hit huge PBs that year, but they were spontaneous, sporadic. I would show up at the gym and not know what deck of cards I was dealing with, whether I’d have enough energy to train, whether I’d be too tired, or whatever.

On top of that, I had a terrible attitude at the Games. If something didn’t go well, I would throttle back and just say, ‘This one’s not for me.’ After that, I took some steps. I started eating better; I committed myself to a good sleep schedule; I began doing some recovery work and warm-ups. Basically, everything I was supposed to be doing, I actually started doing.

And in competition, my attitude completely changed – seeing the benefit of a bad situation and managing to find a silver lining in it, instead of just being miserable and stewing.

MH: Now that you’ve won multiple times, you exude a sense of confidence when you compete. Do you still get nervous?

MF: If I wasn’t nervous, I’d be questioning whether I cared about what I was doing. I hate the way it feels, the immediate effect. Before most events, I dry-heave or throw up, because I’m so nervous. It’s not enjoyable. But at the same time, I know that I care and I still have that excitement. Backstage, people will see me dry-heaving and they look at my manager and say, “God, is Mat OK?” And he’s like, “Oh, yeah, he’s good. This is good.”

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For Fraser, maintaining “a good headspace” is paramount – so he keeps his training varied with intense EMOM workouts

MH: Tia says that the reason you’re the world’s fittest man is your work ethic. She says that she’s never seen determination like it and that, in turn, it challenges her to get better every day.

MF: Well, the feeling is mutual. When I started training with Tia, it was immediately apparent that it was going to be different from any partnership I’d had before. She’s incredibly polished when she knows that people are watching, but she also has this aggressiveness that I’ve never seen in a female athlete.

We’re true training partners – gender never comes up. It’s almost like a mirror. I’ve never trained with anyone who has the same aggressiveness going into each and every workout, when it’s time to grind and you’re miserable and you’re not getting a pat on the back. You get to see someone’s true character when the conditions are less than ideal. You see this fight come out of her that you don’t see in many people.

MH: The Games season, as with all sports, is up in the air. At the moment, it seems that there will be a form of CrossFit Games, but on a smaller scale without fans. How do you feel about that?

MF: As long as the top people are there to compete against, it doesn’t matter. I have a soft spot for spectators who look forward to the event, and for sponsors and vendors, it’s their big opportunity, so it’s unfortunate. In the same breath, the whole world is dealing with a situation that we’ve never been in before. Everyone is understanding and everyone is dealing with the same problems. But as far as training goes, it’s business as usual.

Like all great sportsmen, Itoje has a powerful curiosity of mind

Hamish Brown

Maro Itoje The Thinking Man's Battering Ram: 25-Years-Old, 193cm, 155kg

By Ted Lane

Maro Itoje is not your average rugby player. This is the standard way profiles of the Saracens and England lock and flanker begin. Despite his size and talent, the reader is asked to marvel at his brain more than his biceps. It’s well known that his burgeoning rugby career dovetailed with a politics degree. He is revered as a gentle giant with a penchant for poetry. Hell, it’s even a trope we ran with ourselves after he arrived for a previous Men’s Health shoot carrying a book about the Nigerian civil war.

"He ended up having 74kg around his waist and doing a chin-up with ease"

But to gloss over his physique is to miss half the picture – half of what makes him a sporting powerhouse. Talking to the website Rugby Pass last year, Itoje’s Sarries colleague Alex Goode recounted a one-rep max test for chin-ups during one training session: “He came in, first day, and started on 20kg. He proceeded to go up and up and up. He was so unaware. He ended up having 74kg around his waist and doing a chin-up with ease. This is a guy a couple of days out of school.” Goode neglected to mention his own score.

Left to his own devices, Itoje likes beach weights. Training for fun means abs exercises and 21s, the quintessential biceps-building protocol. But disco muscles alone have not propelled him to the top of his sport. At Saracens, Itoje lifts three times a week. Monday is lower body, Tuesday is upper body, while Thursday is total body.

Mondays are most interesting because Andy Edwards, Saracens’ head of strength and conditioning, tweaks Itoje’s routine depending on where they are in the season. “His two main lifts are the trap bar deadlift for strength and the concentric squat for explosive strength,” he says. Low rep ranges are key. “If the priority is building strength, we’ll start with deadlifts. If the priority is being more explosive, it’s the concentric squat.”

Alternatively, if Edwards needs to maintain intensity at the business end of the season but reduce neural fatigue to avoid burnout, “We swap heavy deadlifts for weighted CMJs [counter-movement jumps], where Maro is jumping with a barbell on his back.”

Still, eventually, it’s Itoje’s mind that returns to the fore. “I’ve been at Saracens for 13 seasons and watched Maro develop from a kid,” says Edwards. “He’s always been the one to challenge me and ask: why? That craving for knowledge is unique to top sportsmen, and he’s got it.”

Chris Froome The Fastest (and Hardest) Man on Two Wheels: 35-Years-Old, 186cm, 66kg

By Paul Wilson

Chris Froome makes long-term and short-term targets central to his success. “I’m a forward thinker, always planning, sometimes way too far in advance,” he told Men’s Health in 2015, shortly before the second of his four Tour de France victories. “So, I enjoy reaching the smaller goals, which are motivating to reach the larger goals.” He could not have imagined that such targets would include “learn to walk again”, as they did after a horrific freak crash in June 2019.

On a recon of the time trial course at the Criterium du Dauphiné race in Roanne, France, gusty wind funnelled between buildings and took his front wheel just as he lifted a hand to clear his nostrils. Attempting to recover control, he veered off the road and into a wall, breaking his ribs, right femur, elbow, hip and sternum and the lowest vertebra in his neck. His team had clocked him at 54km per hour.

Such a calamitous accident was atypical in the extreme, and Froome’s rehabilitation came with many uncertainties. “It was progressive, really, because we just didn’t know how long it would take in terms of recovery,” said Froome’s coach, Tim Kerrison. “We had some different plans right at the beginning, but it’s been an ongoing review.” Not least because, despite the extent of his injuries, very quickly Froome began surpassing smaller comeback goals.

Seven weeks after the crash, it was said that he was “ahead of all predictions that were made initially of how long it would take to get to even this point”. In early August 2019, he was having three to four hours of physio every morning, then two hours of exercise after lunch. Afternoon shifts involved pedalling a stationary bike using only his left leg as his right leg healed, propped on a platform.

At the end of August, 10 weeks after the crash, he was doing track sessions on a bike; by the end of October, a team time trial at an exhibition race. In November, he had his final operation, which included removing from his right hip a 10-inch plate with screws as long as his thumb. In January this year, he joined a training camp with his beloved TeamINEOS. By February, he was performing on the UAE Tour –one that was unfortunately cut short by the pandemic – at which his stats were close to top-level.

“From that point on, it felt like everything was so positive.”

Upon reviving in intensive care in France, Froome was told by the surgeon that there was nothing to stop him making a 100% recovery. “That’s all I wanted to hear at that point,” he said later. “From that point on, it felt like everything was so positive.”

He immediately set a larger goal: to win the next Tour de France. At the time of writing this, despite some scepticism, that was scheduled to begin on 29 August. If it isn’t postponed, Froome will be 35 and very possibly in yellow-jersey form, having come back from – no hype, this – one of the worst injuries in his sport.

For Whitlock, playing the long game has meant becoming more strategic

Tom Watkins

Max Whitlock The Most Decorated Gymnast in Britain: 27-Years-Old, 167cm, 62.5kg

By Scarlett Wrench

Despite almost qualifying as a member of Generation Z, Max Whitlock is already a veteran of his sport. “Gymnastics is really demanding,” he says, by way of understatement. “A lot of people are already thinking about retiring by my age, because that’s when they start to struggle.” The lifespan of an Olympic gymnast is short, but while most burn out in their early-to-mid-twenties, Whitlock has no plans to fade away. Already the most decorated athlete in British gymnastics history, he has his sights set on Gold at the delayed Tokyo Games – then Paris 2024, too.

For Whitlock, playing the long game has meant tuning into his body’s signals. As a teenage prodigy, he could handle 35 hours of training per week; now, he has dropped it to a more “moderate” 20 hours of graft, split over six days. Whitlock has observed older gymnasts training like juniors and wearing themselves down. “I’m hoping I’ll never burn out, because I’m careful not to push myself too far,” he says. “I do what I need to – and what I know I can recover from – so the next day is always productive.”

His training is very specific to his sport. What most people consider “cardio” is of little use. He might run once a week in the build-up to a competition, “but it’s just a mile done as quickly as possible. We’re only on the apparatus for a minute and a half to two minutes. So, it’s still targeted.”

He doesn’t lift weights, either – it doesn’t build the sort of strength he needs. Conditioning workouts are purely bodyweight-based, incorporating handstand variations, ring work, triceps dips, wide-arm press-ups and leg lifts. “I also do a lot of joint-strengthening exercises to make sure my wrists and ankles are ready for my session,” he says. “As I’m getting older, my joints need more attention.” Staying leaner and lighter also helps with longevity. Excess muscle mass would hinder his flexibility.

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reylo-musings · 5 years

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The Hemiola: Two sides of the same coin.

Y’all.

Y’all. I am so sorry. I literally have been non-existent for the better part of 18 months, and I’m truly sorry. I’ve sat down to write this meta like 8 times between December 2017 and now, and life has just been a LOT. But I’m here. It’s happening. Here ya go.

Sooooooo. For my non-music nerds out there, the word Hemiola probably means literally nothing to you so let’s try to all get on the same page first before diving into this music meta. There are a few videos out there that do a good job trying to explain the concept, but tbh, it’s a little difficult to grasp if rhythm and math aren’t your favorite subjects in the world, so don’t stress too much if you’re just giving this post a blank look, I don’t blame you.

In the simplest of terms, hemiola is a switch from an overall 2 beat division to a 3 beat division, or the other way around. This can either occur by actually stopping one beat division and changing to the other, or by using both divisions simultaneously on top of one another.

Imagine you have 6 pieces of candy and want to distribute them between friends, but you want to make sure that everyone gets the exact same amount. Mathematically, your only options would be 1 piece each to 6 people, 2 pieces each to 3 people, or 3 pieces each to 2 people. Or I guess technically you could say “screw you” to your friends, and keep all the candy yourself. You do you.

But for the purposes of talking about hemiola, we are most interested in the scenarios where the candies are divided between either 2 or 3 total people.

Musically, if you are given 6 notes, you can either choose to group them in sets of 2 or sets of 3. This grouping determines the “meter” of the piece. Meters which group notes in sets of 2 are called “simple” and those that group in sets of 3 are called “compound”.

This is why you may see music written in a 3/4 meter, but also music in a 6/8 meter, even though mathematically they reduce to the same fraction. 3/4 meter is the simple meter, the one where the 6 candies are shared equally between 3 people.

6/8 meter is the compound meter, the one where the 6 candies are shared equally between only 2 people.

Musically, each piece of candy represents 1 eighth note. A 3/4 meter puts the emphasis on every other note and a 6/8 meter places the emphasis on every third note.

Some of the most common instances of hemiola in musical literature will be totally switching from the 3/4 meter to the 6/8 one and continuing back and forth as often as you would like. The most popular of these examples is in “America” from West Side Story. Here’s a video. Visually, the pattern looks like this:

This can also be visualized by looking at the eighth notes more clearly.

The emphasis on the words “I” and “Be” establish the 3 note grouping, but then the punctuation of the syllables in “Me Ri Ca” establish a 2 note grouping. If you watch the video until around 3:35, the choreography has them clapping on all the unstressed beats and they change from sets of 2 short claps to 3 more spread out claps and back and forth. The lighter unlined boxes in each color represent those unstressed beats they are clapping on.

So, this video is super awesome and ties all this stuff together nicely. It gets a little jargon-y but the first 5 minutes or so are what’s really great to listen to. Especially the part around 3:50 where he talks about the implied hemiola that exists in the GoT theme, cause we’re coming back to that.

Ok, so, kinda getting it? Sorry this turned into a bit of a music theory lesson. But here’s the wrap up:

In a hemiola, there is no one side that is “right” or “wrong”. Both sides are mathematically equal to one another. They are perfectly balanced with one another and the power can either shift from one to the next, or they can operate simultaneously within the same duration of time.

They are two sides of the same coin.

Ah, there it is. Now you see where I’m going with this. =)

Ok, so, Throne Room battle. That’s where we at. The music here is genuinely really hard to analyze aurally. If I had some actual sheet music to look at, that’d be great, but I ain’t got that so we’re just going with our ears.

The normal type of music that we’re used to hearing out in the world is consistent steady-metered music. 99% of your pop songs are written in a simple 4/4 meter and never change. If they’re not in 4/4, they’re probably in 3/4 or 12/8 but still usually stay consistent the whole time. This feels good to our brains as background music.

Battle music? Not super effective if it’s nice and consistent. The constant fluctuation of meters and rhythms and tempos and all that jazz puts us mentally on-edge. If the battle music is too consistent, we as viewers will subconsciously think we already know what’s going to happen. We feel at ease and won’t be so anxious. (Spoiler alert: Composers can also use this for shock value by making you too comfortable when the on-screen action is juxtaposingly overwhelming and then use it to hurt you when there’s a twist. They’re sneaky. They enjoy your pain.)

The throne room battle music? Very inconsistent. Honestly, so much inconsistency that I genuinely cannot determine the meter for good chunks of it. But there are a few key points where Williams does actually bring enough stability back to determine some semblance of structure. We first really start to hear this structure after the room starts burning. When the battle first started, they were back to back fighting the same enemy from two sides, but as they get separated and things start falling apart around them, they are each fighting their own individual battles. This notion becomes most obvious when there is the moment we see Kylo look over as Rey gets hurt. We as viewers recognize that they are fighting for the same goal, but they each have to be strong enough individually in order to reach it. One of them can’t just carry the other on their back to get there together.

In this moment, the music is actually a bit difficult to hear over everything else happening on-screen, so the soundtrack is a bit more telling. The track for this is “A New Alliance”.

The barebones is this: There is an overall very pounding, berating feel; lots of heavy emphasized notes that are in “simple” meter. It’s worth noting that Rey doesn’t get as much battle screen time as Kylo, but seeing as she’s fighting 1 and he’s fighting like 6 at a time, that completely makes sense. The longest on-screen battle action she gets once the room starts burning is after she’s gotten hurt and we see the sequence where she’s kicked to the ground and she gets back up and keeps fighting. During her on-screen action, the music changes. But not just the music, we get a hemiola. It’s more of that implied hemiola in the GoT intro, but definitely still an overall hemiola. Her theme is played in a 2:3 ratio to the stomping simple meter music we’ve been hearing through Kylo’s screen time. After it cuts back to him, his stomp music comes back. It cuts to Rey again after Kylo is in the head lock, and we again hear her theme hemiolaed (Is that a word? It is now.) over the existing “simple” time, but it sorta dissolves back into the agitated music.

Overall, this is not a lot to dig apart musically because it all happens so quickly and not for very long, but the concept is very much there. We are hearing this musical ratio, this balanced relationship, and it is a clear development from what we’ve heard from their previous battle music. There’s a now REALLY old meta that I wrote about 238 eons ago (at least that’s how long it feels it’s been since early 2016) that dealt with the relationship of Rey and Kylo’s music during the Starkiller battle. The boiled down version of that meta was that each of their themes was being affected by the other’s. Rey’s got darker, Kylo’s lost its stability.

This however is a new kind of relationship between their themes. No, we aren’t hearing Kylo’s typical 5-note theme, but let’s be honest, the man fighting in that room back to back with Rey after murdering Snoke wasn’t exactly “Kylo Ren” anymore. I’m not saying that he was exactly “Ben Solo” at this point, but whoever he was, that boy don’t got his own theme yet. He does have a concept though. He’s primal, he’s basic, and he’s a bit emotional. The music we hear for him shows that concept. It’s sporadic, yet simplistic. Rey’s theme has never really changed all that much. We’ve seen other moods leech into it slightly, but she’s stayed pretty consistent within herself and how she handles life. She’s just learned how to hone in on stuff now.

So this new kind of relationship, this coexisting rhythmic beauty, is just lovely to my musical reylo ears. We are really getting this “two sides of the same coin” idea from every side. We’ve gotten it in costumes. We’ve gotten it in dialogue. We’ve gotten it in cinematography. And now we get it in music. Everyone is stepping up to the plate in their own respects to show this fantastic ying-yang concept that exists between the two halves of our protagonist, and John Williams is no exception.

For the many many of you who have been asking about a “reylo” theme, this is the best I can offer you for right now. I’m sorry that it’s music theory jargon heavy, and I’m really sorry if you have just been blank staring at this whole post and not following me at all. It really is honestly the PERFECT musical representation of these two, and my music nerd brain is loving it to death, even if it only lasted for like 6 measures out of the entire score of the film.

#reylo #music meta #my musings

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canaryatlaw · 4 years

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okay. it’s late, obviously. and I need to go to bed. I just took my pills like 10 minutes ago though so it might be a minute before I actually get tired. but yeah, today. I think I woke up around 11, and then for like two hours waited for my sister to wake up and trying to not get annoyed because I know I’ve slept that late plenty of times, like even on this trip, but I was just kinda tense. it didn’t help that on twitter I was repeatedly seeing people doing tribute tweets to their friends or making lists of all their friends who did whatever in 2019 and I wasn’t on a single fucking one, even when people that I know they saw less than me made it and I just like.....I got really upset about it because I felt like shit and like I didn’t even have any friends, which of course I know is not true, but it felt really shitty to see people I’ve expended energy trying to befriend just straight up ignore my existence and I just felt really awful about myself. this year has unfortunately gone from meeting a lot of new friends to constantly fearing that none of them actually like me or want me to be their friend, thanks to a couple of things that have happened. and I just feel like this massively messed up person who must’ve fucked up so badly to have all these people turning against me but like, I didn’t even fucking do anything, and if people had actually been honest about stuff this could’ve all been avoided but they weren’t and now I’m the one who’s hurting because of that and it really fucking sucks when you really feel like nobody cares about you. sigh. I feel fraudulent sometimes posting about how happy I am with my life (which I am! really!) while knowing my emotional stability is not where it should be definitely could be causing an issue. and like, looking back to the beginning of this decade all I can think is 10 fucking years and so much happened and yet emotionally I’m back in the same fucking place? how did that happen? I still obviously care way too much about what people think of me when I know I shouldn’t, and placing way too much of my happiness and value into friends who clearly don’t reciprocate any of those feelings and clearly don’t care about my emotions or how any of this actually affects me. and I fucking hate that because I truly have grown so much as a person but I feel like that same fucked up kid who cared way too much about what her friends thought of her and definitely put a lot more energy and care into her friendships than she got back. and I feel so emotionally unstable and I don’t know how to deal with this because like! I’m not depressed! my overall mental health has been fine and there aren’t really any issues there, this just feels like an entirely separate area and I don’t know what to do with it. It really sucks that just when my professional life was finally getting its shit together my personal life had to fall to pieces. and I know on some level that like all this shit really means that I should be in therapy actually working through all of this, and this is so fucking hypocritical, I know, but like....I just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with going through all of that right now. It’s going to be so much work and I really just don’t want to deal with it. and that’s messed up because I’ve told so many fucking people that they should be in therapy and that it will really help them, and now I’m clearly not abiding by that, so that makes me feel shitty too. sigh. I got on way too much of a tangent here and now I’m ranting. I really need to get back on focus and actually talk about my day before I go to sleep because it’s fucking 3:30 am. anyway. eventually my sister woke up and then she had to go get her flu shot for something with her job but like all of the places they were going to didn’t have it so she didn’t even get it done, then her and her boyfriend returned and we went to the mall. it was alright, not great, and eventually she wanted to split up which I kinda knew was going to happen because we wouldn’t want to go to the same stores, but it still was annoying. I mainly wanted to get jeans and I went to Express and tried some on, but all of their jeans were still so fucking expensive (the ones on clearance were like $50, reduced from $80) and there was a super fucking long line and I just didn’t have the patience to stand through that long ass line to pay too much for a pair of jeans, so I left and concluded I’d get jeans at some other point in the future. I went to Dynamite after that because they always have stuff I like and it’s been a while since I’ve gotten anything from them, and I ended up getting a pair of work pants from them that were on sale and very nice, so I’m happy about that. after that I met back up with my sister and we headed out. back to the house, I had dinner with my parents and then watched some GBBO with them until my brother’s friends arrived. He had asked me if I wanted to go out with him and his friends tonight and I knew if I didn’t go I was just going to end up alone with my parents and feeling sorry for myself so I said what the hell and said I would. my brother is at this new assignment at work though where he’s working a 3 pm to 11 pm shift, so he still wasn’t getting off for some time yet, so my parents ended up driving me and his two friends to the bar where we chilled for a bit and talked until he arrived some time after 11. he was bringing with him this girl who he has apparently started dating (yeah, I found out on Sunday that both of my brothers are apparently dating girls, which is just fucking great for my self-esteem knowing that I’m officially the only sibling without a significant other) which I suspect is the real reason he asked if I wanted to come so she wouldn’t be the only girl there. and she was nice, honestly at this point any girlfriend is probably going to be a positive influence on his life, so unless she was really terrible I’m not going to object. I mean, honestly, his ex-girlfriend was like, the best thing that ever happened to him, but he fucked that one up and hopefully this time he’ll be a lot smarter and more mentally stable about it. I really hope he is honestly. I also really miss his ex-girlfriend since we’d gotten quite close in the time they were dating, and of course she ultimately ended up coming to me for help when things went south, so there was a lot of emotional investment there. sigh. anyway. I was having a pretty good time chatting with his friends before he got there, they were both guys he went to highschool with so I had at least in theory known them for like 12-15 years now, but never had more than like, a passing conversation with them really. one of them I’d talked to a bit over the years, I always thought he was cute but never had like a full blown crush on him or anything, but it was kinda nice getting to talk more to both of them tonight. and of course there was alcohol, and I considered maybe trying some since it’s been like 4 years since I’ve tried consuming any but then I got a whiff of the tequila shots they were doing and I swear the smell alone started giving me like minor chest pains, so that was a no. I was kinda dumb though at midnight because they were passing out little cups of champagne as the ball was dropping and I had a single sip of champagne, which again was dumb being that I just concluded I shouldn’t be drinking any alcohol, but I mean it was midnight and everyone in the bar was doing it....sigh. It kinda burned in the back of my throat for a while which was unpleasant but never moved on to the full on chest pain that’s fucking unbearable, so I’ll count that as a semi-success, definitely not a full success because it really did not leave me wanting to consume any more alcohol, but at least I wasn’t in pain over it. we ended up playing darts for a few rounds, which I’m not particularly good at but it doesn’t really matter. a little after 2 we started trying to return to my house where everyone was spending the night, but that turned into a whole debacle because this is the fucking suburbs and it’s 2 am on new years, so getting an uber was a bit difficult. my one brother’s friend had apparently worked as a lyft driver in the past so he was a bit biased towards that app and then the first driver somehow got messed up and picked up another person but it still charged his phone and he was like, so affronted by this and just not letting it go at all and it was honestly pretty funny, it was obvious the alcohol in his system was contributing to it on some level but it was still amusing. since there were 5 of us they were originally trying to get an XL which proved even more difficult, and we ended up taking two separate normal sized ubers to get home, which still took fucking forever and we didn’t end up getting home till like, almost 3 am, which was annoying. but oh well. once we got home I showered and then had to do all my pills for the week because of course I had to run out tonight, then opened my laptop and started typing this, and now I’m here like 40 minutes later because it’s just a few minutes before 4 am now because I clearly was in the mood to write a fucking novel for some reason. sigh. last 2019 post, even though it’s now 2020 the day was in 2019 so it gets the last December 2019 hashtag. alright, I really need to go to sleep now, so that’s what I’m going to do. Goodnight dears. Hope you had a very happy new year.

#daily journal #December 2019

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goldenornstein · 5 years

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My muse in a relationship + Shipping || HCs

How far are they willing to go for the person they love?

Very far.

Ornstein does not take love lightly. He does not see it as a fleeting thing or a whim. It’s a rare and precious sentiment to him, which warrants a great deal of care for the person he loves.

That said, being loved by a powerful and utterly ruthless individual has its dark side.

While he’ll be mindful to treat his beloved one with all gentleness, his actions towards anyone who seems like a threat to them might be frankly cruel, devastating, in an often merciless and definite manner.

There’s nothing wholesome or romantic about the awful things he’d be more than willing to do in the name of love.

What are their deal breakers?

Infidelity. Big one. Hits a nerve as it confirms his long-lived insecurity concerning being less than worthy of love and care. It’s also a betrayal of trust, which is always a problem in any kind of relationship. He will not forgive it, no second chances, simply because he’d find himself incapable of trusting that person again.

Marriage. For the most part. He swore an oath off marriage at the beginning of his service to Gwyn, as captain of his select knights, and he’s no intention of breaking it. Any relationships must be kept secret and private, or he’ll put an end to them. This does not mean Ornstein will be a lukewarm or selfish lover, though. Furthermore, he might prove to be caring, devoted, faithful and supportive far beyond the average of most proper husbands, without any need for a formal bond or external obligation.

Lack of care, respect or consideration. He doesn’t want to be coddled, at all. Actually, condescension is another big deal-breaker. But he does need to be treated with certain gentleness. He needs affection and occasional reassurance, even emotional support, given his many issues and anxiety. Nothing terribly taxing, but definitely not suited for a tactless, immature or less emotionally invested partner.

Are they a cuddler?

Yes. Ornstein is very fond of physical affection. He enjoys — needs — embraces, caresses and all kinds of tender touches. To him, it’s an important way to show and receive love.

Do they give their partners cute nicknames?

Nope. Ornstein is the kind of guy who uses proper names at all times. No short versions either. He finds the whole lot of it… lazy, in a way. Endearments, on the other hand, are common and used to convey appreciation for certain beloved characteristics or sentiments, always deliberately and heartfelt.

Do they believe in soul mates?

As in people meant to be romantically involved due to their souls being innately connected in their origin? Absolutely no, given his knowledge on how souls actually work and the fact that there’s plenty of very much non-romantic customs associated to them. Overall, Ornstein would think it’s ignorant and juvenile to reduce souls to a saccharine cliche. If anything, he’d say a true life partnership is formed through mutual understanding, support, trust, etc. as opposed as being a gratuitous metaphysical coincidence of sorts. Nonetheless, he might refer to a particularly beloved partner as someone who’s soul has become linked to his own — granted this could be in a literal way.

Do they tend to sleep better when in bed with their partner?

With a casual partner? No. He’d barely sleep, if at all. With a long-term partner? Yes. Absolutely. He’s a touch starved, cuddly disaster — there’s no other way to say it! He also struggles with insomnia and plenty of nightmares, so having someone there, someone he trust, might help with that.

do they have a type?

Ornstein tends to fall for people who are not like him, one way or another. People with qualities he doesn’t possess, or that he doesn’t think / feel he possess. Provided, he is definitely not opposed to some similarities and common interests, finding it incredibly frustrating when a partner is simply incapable of understanding and keeping up with him, or vice versa. It’s always much better and more significant to him when this compatibility generates from shared experiences over time, though.

In that sense, he doesn’t exactly have a pre-established type, but rather wishes to find a true partner in all senses and matters.

Physically, well, he isn’t fussy at all. Although, he has a reference for muscular and/or more voluptuous physiques.

are they prone to jealousy?

When it comes to committed relationships? Yes. Definitely. A jealousy born from his awful insecurity and abandonment issues. Ornstein is aware of this, though. He’s also aware that this feeling and the behavior it can trigger in him aren’t healthy, or even acceptable. So he will make a great effort to keep it under control, lest he hurts his partner.

Still, he will refrain from getting involved with people who seem prone to infidelity, or even to have many lovers at the same time / over time — even if it’s a consensual practice. Hence, poly-relationships are, for the most part, out of the question. All in the name of his own comfort and mental stability. Exceptions might apply, but only in a limited fashion and with people he can trust enough to let go of his own anxiety.

Then, actual infidelity towards him is an automatic and irrevocable deal-breaker, with a considerable loss of respect and consideration for the people involved.

If your muse is uncomfortable in a relationship, will they address the problem or keep quiet?

Relevant to all kinds of relationships, platonic or romantic.

And… well, this is a problem. A big, ugly, pitiful, unsympathetic problem.

I’ve talked about similar issues in this post.

Now, the answer to this depends on the timeline. Knight of Gwyn Ornstein will accept an enormous amount of detrimental treatment and lack of consideration towards his person. We’re talking about intimate, deeply significant relationships here, though, otherwise he’s extremely quick to put a hard limit. He feels unlovable, almost unworthy of having someone by his side. This basic self-esteem flaw leads him to either isolate or getting involved in unbalanced relationships with people who aren't the best for him.

Then, in verses where he leaves Anor Londo (even when corrupted by the Abyss) he starts developing a visceral rejection and anger towards this situation. Reasons why Ornstein will not accept siding with Light nor Dark political factions — he’s done with being used and taken for granted, be it for power or just out of lack of love/care/respect for him.

what is your muse’s love language?

Caring for others. Fighting alongside them. Sharing their struggles, victories and defeats. Protecting and helping them. That’s definitely his main way to show love — any type of love. Ornstein cherishes the people he loves, they’re truly precious to him in a way that transcends idealism, soft things and self-serving joy. He wants them to be safe and happy, and he’ll do whatever it takes to achieve that.

Yes, he can be absolutely ruthless and just awful in the name of love.

Then, sharing personal things of his own. This is a great deal for him, so used to remain stoic and private. In a way, he does fear the vulnerability that comes with opening up to others, so he’ll only do it when feeling comfortable enough, which demands a sort of trust that can only be born from love — again, of any kind. Being dismissed, treated without care or simply taken for granted will hurt him enormously, becoming a potential breaking point in the relationship.

how easily does your muse fall in love?

Hardcore demi-romantic, aka he doesn’t fall in love easily. Never. He needs a pretty strong emotional bond beforehand. Even then, he’s just finicky about relationships and usually not that interested. Once he does fall in love, though, it’s extremely hard for him to let go of the sentiment.

would your muse ever get married?

No — if we think about marriage in the conventional way, that is, the whole cis heteronormative husband and wife deal. There’s a few reasons for this, but suffice to say he’s repulsed enough by the idea to swear off marriage without much hesitation or regret.

Now, ironically, Ornstein is someone who does value monogamy and commitment, to the point where infidelity is a deal-breaker.

If we talk about an scenario where same gender / non-cis marriage is allowed, then, he’d eventually consider it for a long term committed relationship. Although, he’d still much prefer a to stay out of it, if anything to keep his vows.

does your muse usually take the lead in relationships?

Depends on what we’re talking about. He’s very reluctant to initiate a proper relationship, simply because he perceives it as a potential liability.

how long does your muse have to know someone before they decide to ask them out?

Ornstein might as well NEVER ask someone out. He’s also heavily Demi-romantic, meaning he does need a strong emotional connection before any romantic attraction happens. Reasons why plotting romance involving him is difficult.

I think it’s way easier to start with a friendship, or even with a sex-based relationship, that might (or might not) turn into a romance as time goes by and a strong bond is formed.

#THE STUFF OF LEGENDS // headcanon #someday i'l actually organize my hcs tho #holy shit it's all a mess and i cant find shit lol #i put together a couple of memes i reblogged here - the answers that is #some relevant info #MY HEART IS GOLD BUT MY HANDS ARE COLD // likes

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thebibliosphere · 6 years

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Hello fam. This is a post brought to you by a Patreon request—I know, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these—from Sarah G, asking my thoughts and opinions on the Zero Waste movement that is sweeping across certain parts of the online strata, particularly on youtube and pinterest. (Links are in bold for ease of access and viewing, and are non affiliated.)

Sarah writes: Hi Joy, I know this isn’t exactly in the realm of vampires (can’t wait for Phangs!) but I feel this is something you might have some good advice on if you have the spoons to talk about it. I recently started looking into more eco-friendly ways to live after your posts about allergies and toxic synthetics made me realize I had several things in my home that were triggering my asthma and I came across the concept of zero waste, which sounded really cool at first, and then I looked into it some more and it just sort of seems fake and I was wondering what your thoughts were on it.

Zero Waste is indeed something I’m familiar with, and like you, I have mixed feelings on the community around it. The principles of Zero Waste i.e. reducing the amount of waste you produce an the types of waste you produce, are great. I think it’s a solid, good idea to try and promote more ethical produce and buying habits, both for the planet and from a personal financial stand point. The more you can reuse and recycle the better. But I also feel the … fandom (can you call it that???) can be quite off putting and at times extremely self righteous and judgemental in attitude. Amidst the crunchy hippies, the minimalists and those just straight up trying to live a little better, are those who have managed to make something meant for the betterment of the planet into something about themselves, and they're willing and ready to make sure we know just how evil we are for still having plastic straws with our drinks. Cause, y’know, it’s not big companies doing the most damage to the environment, no sirree it’s you and your plastic water bottle, you monster. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to why the war on plastic is being handled wrong.)

Yea, those people are very fake and very off putting, and I see a lot of them on youtube. And a lot of the time, they’re actually giving contradictory advice toward actually living a zero waste lifestyle.

When talking about this with other people, I have taken to calling this The Mason Jar Aesthetic.

A while ago, while I was talking about sustainable living with a friend (hi Michael!), and he mentioned that he and his wife were thinking of using mason jars as an alternative to buying expensive glassware, because if one breaks, you’ll always be able to replace them easily and you'll always have a matching set. Which blew my mind as genius because not only is that a super cost effective, but it’s also a really sustainable way of living, both from a zero waste ethic standpoint and financially too.

For example, where I am in the US, for $15 I can usually get 12 half pint mason jars, if not for less depending on where I shop. They come with lids and seal top discs, which are easy to replace if I ever use them for canning and can also be safely frozen, sanitized and reused again and again, meaning they are long lasting and multi-purpose. And, if you are using them as drinkware and this is important to you, they all match.

For me however, the real benefit of the humble mason jar, is that they can be fully recycled, though it is important to note that in some regions, the tops may need to go to a separate facility from the glass jar itself, so you’d need to check with your local recycling center on that. But regardless, the whole thing is recyclable, sturdy, multi-purpose, easily transportable (seal your drink and off you go!), cost effective, and some may even argue, aesthetically pleasing.

Pinterest certainly seems to think so:

[ID: a screenshot from the website Pinterest depicting many diy crafty projets for home and the kitchen involving mason jars]

Some of the larger pint ones, would also fit nicely into a mobility aid like a cup holder, for those of us who need easy to grip handles. (Also as an aside, if you need more stability and often lament that there is no such thing as a two handed mug—or even if you find most mug handles too small to get a good grip—those things are great, they just clip right on. Life changing.) Because if your argument for sustainability isn’t inclusive, it’s not good enough.

Which is where the war on plastic comes in. Looking at you “lets ban all drinking straws regardless of the fact that plastic straws are a vital necessity for some people with disabilities”, and no, pasta straws are not a safe alternative for everyone (allergies/celiac), metal is expensive and also inflexible, and neither are the bamboo, glass or silicone ones. Banning plastic straws at this moment in time, is not the solution.

Brighter minds than mine have tried to solve this, but as a general proposal, instead of an outright ban, until a sustainable and disabled friendly alternative is found, plastic straws in food establishments could be issued by request, without—and this is important—without shaming disabled people for needing to use something which you can easily opt to avoid if you desire to do so. Because once more kids and with feeling, if your argument for sustainability isn’t inclusive, it’s not good enough.

(I am fully prepared to get hate over this, the arguments over this shit on twitter were wild. And no, it is not the responsibility of disabled people to come up with a solution to this, while subsisting on restricted income, restricted access to resources, and often times restricted mobility to boot. If you feel this strongly about disabled people using plastic straws, be part of the solution that helps to find a valid alternative. You want this problem fixed, you do it inclusively.)

Now, where was I, oh yeah. Mason jars.

By contrast, a box of 4 glass tumblers of roughly the same volume, can be anywhere from $10-$20 or even more depending on where you look. And while they might look nice, they are single purpose, expensive, and also—and this is important, cause not a lot of people know this—cannot be recycled.

But Joy, you say, waiting to throw the shards of the broken glass you just swept up off the floor into the recycling, how much damage can it really do? Glass is just glass? Right?

Well, here’s the thing about this type of glass. In order to make it thin and aesthetically appealing, it has to be treated with special chemicals (like molten potassium nitrate) to toughen it up and make it shock resistant to temperatures. The problem with this however, is that treated glass, doesn’t melt at the same temperature as untreated glass, which can cause several problems at recycling facilities, ranging from damaged equipment at the plant (not good!) to creating flawed, glass which is too fragile for use, and will ultimately, you guessed it, end up on the landfill. [Source] The same is true of mirrors and glass from doors and windowpanes. [Source]

So if you do drop your glass and it breaks, please don't put it in the recycling, wrap it up in brown paper and throw it in the trash. Similarly, if you are sick of the sight of your old glassware, don't pitch it. Instead consider giving it to goodwill or your local equivalent. Someone will use it.

And don't feel bad if you didn't know. I never knew this either till a while ago, but it made me really think twice about how non-eco-friendly and sustainable my home life is. And I’m not saying this to guilt anymore or make you feel bad that you don’t do more, heck knows I never used to give a crap about any of this stuff until I started getting sick and developed multiple chemical sensitivities (Hi if you’re new here, I’m allergic to the modern world due to some frankly dystopian levels of auto-immune problems that emerged in the last few years, send help) and realized just how very not good a lot of the things I was doing are, for both me and the planet.

I am not a crunchy hippy by choice, but by necessity of survival. You have to be when plastics and most mattress fillers and couch stuffing starts bringing you out in a rash/makes you wheeze and suddenly you find yourself wandering the aisles of “eco-friendly" stores wondering if the sales rep you’re listening to actually knows what they’re talking about or if they’re a tinfoil hatter who also puts essential oils in their drinking water. (We've been over this, do not.)

But do you know what I also noticed in those supposedly eco-friendly stores?

Mason jar drinkware being sold at $20 a pop. Surely, I thought to myself, surely it’s $20 for a set of at least four?

Nope.

And do you know what else? This wasn’t just a regular mason jar glass that had been tinted blue, no, this was “treated shock resistant glass”. So what they did was, they took an iconic recyclable object that is actually very cheap to produce and buy, inflated the cost by a huge amount, and then, made it non-recyclable, for profit.

Are-you-freaking-kidding-me?

And that’s a huge problem I find, with trying to find information and resources online about sustainable living and eco-friendly products, because a lot of them? Are actually hugely wasteful if not in actual material, then certainly in mentality.

I watched one notable youtuber vlog about how she got rid of everything in her kitchen and replaced it with more eco-friendly (and extremely expensive) options, because she just couldn’t stand the thought of those "toxic" things being in her kitchen … except … they weren’t doing her any harm, and they weren’t worn out. They weren’t falling apart. They were still very much safe and usable and might even have been donated to somewhere like goodwill for someone else to use … but she threw them out to replace them with shiny bamboo and kitschy ceramics, and now they’re heading toward a landfill, where they will not be used to their fullest extent, and where they will pollute the earth.

Surely by the zero waste ethos, it’s more sustainable to use the product until it has to be replaced, and then buy the eco-made alternative?

To give you an example, I’m in the process of replacing all my tupperware with glass, metal and ceramics because I’m allergic to plastics, but also because I’d like to invest in more sustainable planet friendly options for the future. But I’m also doing it once piece at a time. Partly because my husband can and does still use those things, but also because, well, I can’t afford to replace them all. I just plain can’t, it’s too expensive to go out and replace all my leftover food containers with stainless steel lunch boxes from Japan. I’d like to, and I wish I could, but if wishes were horses then I’d need a much bigger yard. (That’s how that saying goes, right?)

I guess the point of this lengthy ramble, is a complaint that the aesthetic of sustainability is actually more popular than actual ethical sustainable practices. Too many people are concerned with looking like they care, but don’t actually want to get into the nuance of things. And I get it, I do. It’s nice to feel like you’re doing something good. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re taking responsibility for their time on this earth and being the best version of themselves?

But it has to require thought, and method, and looking beyond the narrow scope of your own four walls (metaphorical or otherwise) and what that one person on youtube said, while merely swapping one form of consumerism for another because it looks and feels ethical, but not actually exacting any kind of global change.

And that’s the difference between using a mason jar to drink out of, and the Mason Jar Aesthetic. Being aware of your impact on the earth and doing what you can within your limits and means (and respecting the means of others), vs wanting to be seen as such. And it's an important distinction and one that requires self reflection and a great deal more thought than buying into an aesthetic.

Me switching out all my plastics and turning my backyard into a compost heap might make my home more eco-friendly, but real change cannot be effected without also putting pressure on large corporations (looking at you Nestle) to change their practices, and boycotting those stores in favor of expensive organic and "ethical" brands is not the solution to this. It merely creates a niche market where the rich and privileged are able to live in a very small self-contained bubble of moral "eco purity", while actively punching down at those who cannot. Real change? Comes from getting involved in the community and lobbying against big corporations like Nestle turning round and extracting water from drought stricken states, and then selling it back for profit. It's boots to the ground, and writing letters and emails, and doing more than just buying organic bamboo washcloths and telling yourself you saved the world one micro-bead of plastic at a time.

So do I think zero waste is a crock? Absolutely not, at the core it has some great points about how we use and consume products, which are things we should be thinking about in our day to day lives. But do I feel it places too much emphasis on the self rather than the global community? Absolutely. And at it's core sustainability isn't about the self. It's about community, and the changes we can affect together in order to make the world a little better than how we found it.

Otherwise it's just survivalism with a rose tinted aesthetic.

What do you guys think? Does anyone have anything to add? Let me know in the comments and see if we can get a discussion going. Also, if you’d like to see more of these types of posts, Patreon subscribers can expect to see them two weeks earlier than tumblr, and get a say in what we discuss, so if you’d like to see me talk about something, let me know :)

[Patreon] * [Twitter] * [Ko-Fi] * [Facebook]

#patreon #patreon post #zero waste #eco friendly #sustainability #the mason jar aesthetic #activism #links #joy demorra #my writing #things and stuff

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entirebodyexercise · 4 years

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Coach Culpepper: Use Time Off to Your Advantage

Let your body recover and also create some fitness this winter.

There is no lack of dialogue on training, workouts, mileage, lengthy runs, shoes, technicians or cross-training, yet taking downtime and also relaxing after an autumn marathon or long racing season is a subject that rarely obtains reviewed. A healing period is valuable, but exactly what does that resemble? Exactly what should you do? And also just how much pause is ideal?

Recovery is essential-- our bodies need a break from the rigors of training in order for future enhancement to take place. The secret to this conversation is finding the best balance between pause and also recuperation without shedding excessive fitness.

Post-Marathon

The total toll the marathon areas on the body as well as its different systems is unparalleled by other event. There really is absolutely nothing like it, I have actually discovered that most folks recuperate quicker from a full Ironman or ultra-distance occasion compared to they do from an intense marathon. There is a myriad of reasons for this, but the recuperation time required after racing a difficult marathon is certainly longer compared to for other race.

As a basic policy, 2 to 3 weeks off-- implying no running whatsoever, or merely a few miles every 4-5 days-- is an excellent standard. During this duration, I likewise advocate a marginal amount of cross-training, perhaps a light swim or rotate as soon as every 3-4 days.

Earlier in my affordable occupation, I took three weeks off without also believing about it. As I obtained older, I reduced that period of no going to two weeks and slowed my development back right into training. I was a lot more most likely to obtain injured if I took three full weeks off, so instead I took 2 weeks off as well as progressively developed my training back up in order to enable my body to proceed recovering. Most individuals fail in the initial couple of weeks of going back to training. A couple of mistakes have the tendency to happened during the following stage:

-- Joggers jump right back right into training too boldy and risk injury.

-- Runners construct up also slowly and also miss the ideal possibility to create off all that wonderful physical fitness they created throughout the marathon preparation.

The key is stabilizing both of these strategies. You need to construct back right into your training slowly so you don't get harmed, but you also want to remain to maximize your health and fitness. Your initial focus must be on building mileage back up as well as not as much on doing quicker workouts.

Your very first week back should have to do with 40 percent of your biggest training week throughout your marathon prep work. So, if you ran up of 50 miles a week throughout marathon training, you ought to start back up in the variety of 20 miles per week. From there, you could raise your volume by about 15 percent every week. After 4 weeks of running miles, you could start to reestablish speed workouts. One faster exercise a week until you reach your optimum once a week quantity is sufficient.

The emphasis is on getting your toughness back, ensuring you remain injury-free as well as preparing to concentrate on one more specific training block. Several professional athletes create their quantity back up to a moderate degree and after that start consisting of more difficult workouts. This is not all bad, yet ideally you wish to reach full volume initially, then add the exercises. This will stop your health and fitness level from plateauing over as well as over once more.

Post-Racing Season

After finishing up a racing period that doesn't consist of a marathon, you could take your rest as more of an active recuperation duration. Unlike the marathon, there is no requirement for multiple weeks off, as well as cross-training throughout this duration is a great idea. You need to deemphasize the tougher running-specific workouts, however maintain active and remain to consist of some running in your regimen. Blending cross-training and some running (concerning 50 percent of your highest possible weekly mileage total during the affordable season) is an excellent mix.

Taking a two-month duration to simply appreciate running without the bodily (as well as mental) burden of extreme exercises is a fantastic method to recuperate throughout the off-season. Cross-training minimizes the stress on the body but enables proceeded cardiovascular and also muscle advantage. Maintaining some sort of health club operate in the routine with weights, reduced strength spinning or elliptical machine workouts or modest swimming together with very easy operating is a great mix for this two-month period during the winter season. From there, you could build your mileage back up by 15 percent every week and begin to consist of harder workouts again.

#exercise #fitness #health #health and fitness #health club #physical fitness #workout #workouts

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a-woman-apart · 5 years

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Hope

Remember, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, please get help.

Crisis Text (U.S.): 741 741

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

You know what I said a couple weeks ago about waiting a couple of weeks before you make a Drastic, Negative, Irreversible Decision?

Well, I have confirmed evidence that it is true. It sounds cliché as hell, but when you are staring down a dark tunnel you really cannot see the light at the end of it. It feels like the pain will never end, and that nothing will ever be different. This is definitely a lie, because things will get better.

They will, because you are going to make them better.

How?

Well, first of all, you need to realize that depression is not just caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Even if that is true, that chemical imbalance can be exacerbated by external circumstances. I am talking about real people, places, or things that generally contribute to your feelings of despair.

Here’s a list of questions to ask yourself.

· Are you in a romantic relationship that is sexually, physically, or emotionally abusive?

· Have you experienced childhood trauma?

· Are most of the people in your circle people who belittle, undermine, pressure, and/or demean you?

· Are you in a codependent relationship with a family member or significant other?

· Do you work at a job that has become unsatisfying, unfulfilling, or unbearable?

· Are you under lots of pressure to perform academically?

· Are you homeless, living in poverty, facing financial insecurity, or living paycheck to paycheck?

· Do you live in a war zone or a country where your basic safety and freedoms are constantly threatened?

· Do you have a chronic physical illness in addition to your mental illness?

· Do you spend most of your time alone and/or feel that you cannot depend on other people?

· Do you feel that you have to perform or put on a show in order for others to respect your needs, wants, or desires? (This includes having to pretend to be cis or straight in order to be respected or cared for)

· Do you base your self-worth on your money or achievements, only to have that self-worth come crashing down when you ask yourself “what’s next?”

· Are you afraid that others will “discover” that you are a fraud and do not deserve the status or position that you have?

· Do you constantly feel bored or unchallenged, like you are simply moving through the motions of life with no purpose or meaning?

I am aware that the author Johann Hari is a controversial figure, but so much changed for me when I read his book, “Lost Connections”. He looked at causes of depression—some of the things I just mentioned—and possible cures. These cures were not based primarily in treating patients with medicine. Lots of people claim that Hari discouraged or undermined the use of antidepressants in his book, but that was not the interpretation that I got.

My understanding is that he posited that the medicine is kind of a “jump-start” for the brain. I have experienced severe bipolar depression before. I was listless, monosyllabic, barely able to get out of bed or take care of my daily hygiene. I was under the care of my parents. The medicine did not “cure” me, but it gave me enough motivation to begin attending groups, psychiatrist appointments, and therapy sessions.

For most people, medicine is a part of a holistic treatment plan. In my case, it isn’t even the primary ingredient—especially since I no longer take antidepressants at all (A/N: I stopped under the supervision of a psychiatrist; never, never, never stop taking antidepressants or any other psychiatric medication cold turkey).

You see, once I got my manic symptoms under control with mood stabilizers, I thought I was in the clear, but I started to experience symptoms of depression again. However, this was the “good”, or “high-functioning” kind of depression. When you’re “high-functioning”, you can go through the day wishing you could die but you’re still alert, efficient, and outwardly cheerful. Unfortunately, this “less debilitating” depression kills more people. When you are in this state, if your goal is to die, you often have the energy and motivation to follow through. It is extremely isolating because most often, you have created the perfect illusion that everything is fine, and so others often don’t think to reach out to you to make sure you are okay. You also have created walls that you yourself may struggle to break through.

I knew that I wasn’t okay, so I reached out for help. My experience was similar to Johann Hari’s. I was put on antidepressants that would work for a while, and then they would stop, and I would be switched to another. My weight fluctuated wildly, and I experienced a variety of other unpleasant side effects. I was finally removed permanently from antidepressants when the antidepressant drug, Effexor, contributed to me having a mixed episode (mania + depression), which, like high-functioning depression, carries a high suicide risk. I have written extensively about the horrible withdrawal I experienced from Effexor.

This is not to say that my negative experiences are universal to all. Bipolar depression is often resistant to antidepressants, and most antidepressants carry the risk of pushing us into mania. People with Major Depressive Disorder/Unipolar Depression often respond better to antidepressants. My best friend has been on the same high dosage of an antidepressant for years and it helped to increase his motivation and pull him out of a rut. He, like me, though has attended therapy and changed key things in his life that were keeping him stuck.

My point—after saying all that—is to say that drugs alone won’t solve your problems.

Also, you have a real reason to be depressed.

This is not to say that neurons misfiring in your brain don’t contribute to your depression, or that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. However, often there are things in our lives that make us feel small, trapped, or powerless, and these are often things that we can physically point to if we ask ourselves the right questions.

E N V I R O N M E N T A L

One big thing is work. You may work in a job you actually despise because you want to support your family. Most of us spend a third—or more—of our day at some kind of job. Maybe school is your job, and you’re drowning in a sea of assignments and deadlines.

Maybe there is no feasible way to leave that job or school (yet), but Johann Hari gives tips on how to hate it less. You could rearrange your schedule, change departments or majors, request different kinds of work, or otherwise try to find meaning in an outwardly shitty situation.

F I N A N C I A L

If you are in financial trouble, you could begin utilizing your community resources more. This includes getting local or government help with food and bills, but it also involves things like attending free job training and educational workshops or going to your local library so that they can connect you with employment resources. Libraries and colleges also often host hiring events and have bulletin boards where you can see the latest job postings for your area.

You could stop also depending on people financially who belittle you or make you feel guilty for receiving their help. Some people do nothing but give off unproductive energy—it isn’t worth it to receive assistance from these kinds of people, because you will never be able to do enough to pay them back. Even if you pay them back the physical resources, they will constantly try to violate your boundaries by saying, “Look at everything I did for you and you can’t even do X”. Run, do not walk, from these kinds of people.

A B U S E

As for abusive situations, these can be incredibly isolating. Your abuser has probably already driven wedges between you and your friends and family. You can however call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline and get help. If you feel like you are in danger—even if that person has never physically attacked you—you should still call and get help and advice. They can connect you with shelters and other resources. They also provide help for people who are suffering from spiritual abuse, an overlooked but often devastating form of abuse.

You can also call Day One Services and get help if you are dealing with emotional abuse.

I S O L A T I O N

It takes a community. It takes us leaning on each other and working together. The lie is that you do this thing called life alone. You don’t. In disaster zones or war-torn areas, depending on the community can mean the difference between life and death.

I know many of us don’t live in a disaster zone, but we still need community support. A lot of us don’t have friends—and struggle to make them—but if the Friendship Goal is too lofty, then you should start by just spending more time with people in general. You could start by just sitting in a coffee shop or going to a park and people watching. Or you could try to join online groups where you can speak freely about your hobbies. When it comes to taking the bigger steps, like joining an offline group or volunteering, set the bar super low.

I had been using Meet Up to try to find groups in my area, and I made this absurdly low goal of “attend one Meet Up this year”. Not five, three, or even two. Just one. I was terrified, but I did it. I still haven’t gone to another one, but it was a starting point. It helped my brain see that I could do it. Loneliness and isolation are dangerous; any small action you can take towards reducing those two factors will be incredibly helpful.

P E R S P E C T I V E

Sometimes our issue can be with the way we see the world; Johann Hari described some of these as “Disconnection from meaningful values”. If your fundamental view of the world is that you need to just continually climb the ladder of achievement—hording material wealth along the way— until you die, you lack meaningful values. If you have physical comfort, but your life lacks purpose or meaning, it can feel incredibly bleak. We need to both change our outward circumstances, and our behavior and way of thinking in order to see improvement. We need to stop thinking we deserve less, and instead start cutting out toxic people and working on moving out of toxic environments.

S U M M A R Y

At first, when I dropped out of my university, broke up with my boyfriend, and started planning to quit my job (and leave my overpriced apartment) I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Most therapists and psychiatric professionals would not recommend that someone with a mental health condition make that many changes at once. I overhauled everything within a six-month period, and the stress of it all made me need to go to inpatient. I was very ill physically for a while, lost tons of weight, racked up medical bills, etc.

In the end, though, what do I have? I can say that I am truly happy for the first time in ages. My tears are now happy tears. Everything worked out. I’m going to go to a much smaller, more accessible college for my Bachelor’s. I’m moving in with friends to save money and deal with the loneliness issue. I have a new job that is currently a much better fit than the old one was. My ex and I continue to be close friends, but it did take a period of adjustment. I was in big financial trouble, but now, with support, I am getting back on my feet. I was even able to sell my piano keyboard to make a few more simoleons.

Of course, sometimes I still feel very anxious because This Is A Lot, but my anxiety crisis is over. All these new life events are teaching me something that I severely lacked: flexibility. I am also now more resilient, knowing that having made it through this, I can make it through anything.

You are going to make it, too.

I understand that it is important to make sure you keep an internal locus of control. This means that certain things in your life are your responsibility and yours alone, and that you have power to change those things. You can’t make someone love you, but you can ask that they treat you with kindness, dignity, and respect, and remove yourself from the relationship with them if they do not acknowledge your request. You can’t singlehandedly change the world, but you can volunteer and do other things that make a difference in your local community. These changes often have a ripple effect that alter the surrounding areas for the better.

It is going to be hard to change your environment, improve your financial situation, and discover your purpose in life. You could think you have it all figured out, and everything can change. If you feel overwhelmed, please reach out for help. Trust me, tons of resources are just a Google search away. If you’re stumped, go to your local library and ask for advice or books on the subject you’re struggling with.

For those of you who can’t leave home, even here on Tumblr there are users who have compiled tons and tons of “master posts” for things like “How to Get a Job”, “How to Be Frugal” or “How to Make Friends.” Even if you can’t make it to your local library, there are often links to databases in the library catalog that have a wealth of information on every subject. I know a huge amount of you struggle with executive dysfunction so starting and completing tasks can be really hard, but there’s posts for that, too. Even if all you do is get out of bed today and eat something instead of laying in bed and constantly scrolling through here, that is a start.

I know this has gotten incredibly wordy, but the point of it all is please, please, PLEASE don’t give up! You really can make positive changes, but it takes time. Don’t throw all the time you might have left away.

#hope master post #how to have hope #suicide prevention #using community resources #removing toxic people #living with mental illness #living with anxiety #living with depression #changing your environment #getting rid of bad friends #leaving abusive relationships #spiritual abuse help #domestic abuse help #emotional abuse help #use your local library #places to find job help #reducing stress #johann hari #lost connections book

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