#pls im trying to draw something and i need it for reference
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hey tumblr folk help a girl find a meme again
I need this gif with a man arguing/yelling at an unbothered lady's face but she starts smiling and posing at the camera as soon as she notices like the dude isn't even there? I can't find it anywhere and it bugs me so much 😭
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keep drawing sebs that look like sidney crosby :/
#i wanted to have something i was happy with to post before. u know.#but none of them lOOK LIKE HIM#they’re good drawings they’re just not drawings of sebastian vettel#if you see this and you also draw seb pls message me i need help i don’t understand his face#maybe i just know his face TOO WELL and so nothing will ever look like him#maybe it’s just very hard to draw blondes in grey scale#maybe he’s just a low contrast man im trying to draw in high contrast#maybe i need a different reference image#looking at my drawing again. maybe it’s because i can’t draw a man without giving them luscious eyelashes
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I LOVE THE TF2 MLP AU SM. it gives me sm nostalgia to when i was a kid and i and everyone in the fandom made pony aus of franchises we liked- im so happy cringe is dead and tradition is alive 🥹
ALSO THE INFECTION AU POST. GOOD SHIT;!;!!!!!!!!!! gore and body horror are inseparable from (hopefully only the mature part of) the mlp fandom and i felt so giddy jumping for joy kicking my feet up seeing that it had a resurgence!! Your post of this au with your tf2 ponies was my introduction to it!!! Nature is healinggggg
That post is BOMB. WE GOT: 1) HEAVYMEDIC ANGST. 2) PYRO & ENGIE ANGST. 3) BOOTS & BOMBS ANGST. 4) DADSPY ANGST. 5) SNIPER ANGST. ITS GIVING💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 and the way the disease spreads differently for all of them is so creative!!!!!! Engie wants to sever the infected body part but cant cus its on his back and he needs medics help for that (and med is way too far gone to do any operation), and scout doesn't want his wings severed even tho that would save him cus he still wants to fly!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
also soldier misinterpreting the request is so good. And pyro wanting to help but not being allowed to cus they'd try to burn engie. Demo drinking himself to death cus he cant handle seeing his friend in the state that he's in. Sniper disappearing cus he wants to be with his parents during this horrible time even tho they have a strained relationship. Spy wanting his son to live through this so much that he's planning to sever his wings himself. And heavyyyyyy. Heavy breaking his heart everyday still taking care of medic knowing he's going to have to kill the love of his life soon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anyways sorry for fuckin. Screaming in your asks and basically just repeating what you wrote sgjdjd. I just really love this au (and especially that comic with scout, medic and engie!!!) and the infection au post made me so nostalgic to the early days of the mlp fandom that the adhd went mental and i had to shout about it lol- feel free to not respond to this! Youre awesome! Keep doing you!!!!!!
(also youre really good at drawing gore????? Hello teach me pls)
WHAT A BIG FEEDBACK OHMYGODヽ((◎д◎))ゝ
Anyway I'm really super puper glad you liked my au!! I was a little hesitant to post it, since AU in AU sounds weird but I'm glad I thought otherwise - cringe culture should be dead!! Mix your hyperfixations it's good for your health!!!
AND AHHHHGGGGGH You noticed so many details thankyouuu🥺💗💗💗The best thing about this AU is that every ship and brotp can work so well in this story. Engie first helping Medic but then ending up being also infected??? Spy checking up on Engie and making him eat since he's too stressed to take a break??? Demo, Heavy and Pyro comforting each other after loosing their friends??? Spy and Scout both raging on Sniper for leaving like a coward??? Or maybe Heavy, as an earth pony, comforts Scout after he just got his wings amputated??? So many possibilities!!
Don't worry, I love when people are noticing all the details and just get,, really invested into my stuff, it really brings me joy and you made my day so much better!!🥺🥺I feel honestly a little insecure, since my pony designs and thoughts may not be the best, but I'm glad that so many people still like my mlp×tf2 stuff!! It's really endearing to know that finally something I like making is also likable to you!
About gore -- I have no idea😭I love gore but it's a pain to draw properly and scary, you'd need practice and references (I mostly use art references since yknow,,,real photos can make me sick)
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get to know better tag
thank you @achilleslikespeas!! you're so so amazing omg- anyhoo
three ships: wolfstar, ineffable husbands (someone pls talk to me about good omens I literally can NOT rn), drarry
first ship: drarry, it’s a tried and true ship for me, ive been shipping it since I was like, a child (literally flashback to me at like, 7 years old telling my mom that harry and Draco should get over each other and buy a castle and live together forever as a happy couple (parents were not happy that their daughter was saying this (they were homophobic( (im now gay and still shipping it so suck it, ig)))
last song: I would love to lie and say its something cool like “killer queen” or “lady stardust” bc I listen to those a lot, but once again, I would be lying and my actual last song that I listened to was “no hands (ft. Roscoe dash and wale)”, yk, the frat party song, I like to play it while writing angst
last movie: Harry Potter? idk what one, I like to put the tv on while I do stuff like budget money and write fanfic and draw, so honestly idk, it was probably the chamber of secrets, that and poa are my all time favs
currently reading: ur mom LMAO (im so sorry) no, what im reading is smut, and also like, a good omens fic about Crowley’s fall (witness the fall) bc im trying to forget about season 2′s ending. im also reading away childish things (again) bc like, that's one of my fav drarry fics of all time. if we’re talking about marauders fics, it was probably her body is a temple down in the frozen food aisle by achilleslikespeas, both for my emotional masochistic enjoyment and bc I wanted to draw a scene in the story (go read it now pls, its really good, Claude is really good a writing and im freaking out bc I wanna draw a scene from every single one of their fics I- like go-to horror dead dove fics for me I reccomend Claude and for smut I go to moonie), if we’re talking books books, Ive been reading yellowface and I am a cat which so far, are really really good, but also like, im really bad at reading so like, I haven't actually touched them in a week LMAO
currently watching: good omens, its playing on my tv in the background both because I love it and also because Neil said if u stream it enough amazon will see how valuable it is (with the strike and everything) and like, actually be willing to negotiate, essentially, help out the strike, go watch gay celestial beings
last thing i wrote: 'Til Death Do Us Part, and Even Then, I'll Do My Best to Stay With You, its a dead dove fic centering around grief and denial, uh, 2 chapters in lol
currently writing: I have like, a million wips and no motivation to write rn so lets dive into them lol
1) chapter 3 of do death do us part, very sad, like, maybe 3 sentences in?
2) the next part of my lesbian wolf star series, its the one right before the trail one, so like, part 10 is gonna be another chapter centering more around Sirius’s memories and part 11 is gonna be the trial, I have like, 2 separate things ive written for it and I need to decide where I want it to go tbh
3) smut, gay wolf star, frat hazing blow or blow smut. sirius is on his knees and almost throws up but he doesn't and its lowkey like actually non con but its also frat hazing, like, idk how to explain the vibes but sirius is referred to as a dog and a filthy animal and degraded and he's sucking remus’s dick on coke and im like 2k words in and like, running out of ways to describe a cock lol (its also hard to bc like, I don't have a dick and my textbooks are no help sometimes) but he is also called the “pike puppy” and like, I think im smart for that and also its really filthy ngl, not a happy ending?
4) a short fluff fic to make up for the angst I put my readers through, im like 200 words in
5) au kinda thing, inspired by don't worry darling and like a TikTok that I saw (and now people are commenting on me commenting if I can write the idea and asking for the fic name and like, Im 500 words in? pls I need time), the idea is that Dumbledore has everyone under imperio or a potion to get them on his side to fight for him, lily’s pov, I really like it so far, uhh im like 500 words in I think?
so yeah, when I get inspiration im gonna write everything all at once lol, probably when my body isn't trying to kill me lmao or im at work
tagging: @spookymoonie @pinklume @wxlfstxrisbest @spindrifters @siriuslystargazing @siriusly-sapphic @green-lights-33
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Hey crescent!!
I was so busy during new year that i only had the time to look at your art journey now, and I have to confess i actually saved a bit of yours on my phone uwu
I look forward to your art next year! (Pls feed my p3 demons), and if it isn’t too much to ask, is there any tips to getting gud at drawing? Id like to draw myself but im not sure where to start TwT
Anyways, happy belated new year! Hope to see you more this year! :3
hi bkza555! thank you so much for the kind words, and happy new year to you! i'm really happy that my p3 arts could keep you fed throughout 2022, ryomina and p3 brainrot is too strong! 💛💙
re: wanting to draw, i'd say go for it! 🙌💪 i think that it can be a fun skill to develop, and i'd recommend starting with things that YOU want to draw / see art of (because making yourself happy w/self-indulgent things is great!).
drawing advice under the read more, because this kinda got long oops 🥴
i would say that being resourceful and patient make for good qualities to have in your learning journey (among many other things)! art can be a rollercoaster with how we feel towards our own work ("WOAH I DREW THAT" vs "NOO WHY DO IT LOOK LIKE THAT").
so basically: striving to have a good mindset + drawing something that interests you will keep art as a sustainable practice!
if you're looking to get better at art- i highly recommend finding some kind of visual reference and trying to recreate them / understand them! i wouldn't be where i am without them 😭
i usually focus on photo references but i also look at drawn references + 3d models sometimes (mostly for likeness purposes).
for photo references, i like to look through pinterest + stock photo sites + google as a starting point! or you can set up a tripod with a camera and pose in front of it if searching the web doesn't exactly have what you want...
and if you want to draw persona characters, i think i've seen their 3d models for both miku miku dance (MMD) + xnalara which can be helpful if you want to see them from all sorts of angles (when official artwork doesn't suffice). hell i have to regularly look at manga panels of ryoji sometimes because i forget how to draw his hair every time LMFAO ITS SO DIFFICULT... 😭
honestly, trying to provide any concise art advice within an ask is difficult since the practice of breaking down references can be hard to convey over text. so i'll link to my art summary from 2021, which has a list of resources that you could check out!
it might be helpful to watch videos/streams of drawing too! or any tutorials that walk you through the basic shapes.
AND I SWEAR i am almost done talking BUT! the most important part is to have fun and focus on getting what you personally want of the art process. i hope that the list of resources can help if you want to find some guides on How To Do Things.... if u need any clarification feel free to leave a reply or come by the inbox again!
thank you again for your kind words! may 2023 be kind to you, and see you some other time! 👋
#lizzy askbox#NOT @ ME GOING 'ILL KEEP THIS SHORT' and then being like 'UH HOW DO THAT'#i hope that it's easy to understand... i try my best to not go too ham bc sometimes too much information is overwhelming. LMAO#but tl;dr: draw things u like (it helps u stay motivated) + use references to fill in the gaps of your visual library#also be kind to yourself when you draw! sometimes things dont turn out the way we want them to but! it does not mean u've failed or anythin#i just take it 2 mean that i need to practice on whats giving me trouble...#there is a lot of nuance that i hve likely missed but I HOPE THIS CAN HELP have a very good day!!!
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Update (please read)
This includes a general update about me, update about my sideblogs, tags, and also a small ask at the bottom w/ an art dump, so pls read all even tho it's a little long. I'd really appreciate it <3
so I finally decided to start using my queue system and stop feeling like such a pos all the time. this is part of my attempt at forcing myself to feel a little better on a daily basis. It's not that Im suddenly spending more time on Tumblr; I've ALWAYS been spending tons of time on Tumblr. I've just been in a bit of a funk for a long time where I was convinced I wasn't "good enough" (whatever that means) to interact with hardly anybody or anything.
But lol this is Tumblr..... if people don't like me interacting, they can block me. Ofc I'll try to respect DNIs and all but you get what I mean.
I'm going to try to clean up @undead-prowess and @plates-of-va as well and start posting to them more. I still am working on the next chapter of my Pokemon fanfic, but that has been delayed due to my cars needing a lot of work lately, and me having to help with that.
Also, my tags, explained (I promise this'll be the final time):
#oops prow queued again - queued post. the system posted it automatically. any tags were added when I queued it
#spicy prow - my custom nsfw tag. This just means a post that might be a little incendiary or not something you'd read in front of your grandparents. It doesn't mean that I think the post content is trashy or sexual or anything like that necessarily. It just means that if you're scrolling tumblr at work, you probably don't wanna see this post lol. This tag may also include discourse-y posts.
#nsfw-ish / #nsfwish - same story as the above, but more explicitly about specific language or sexual content. A post might offhandedly just say 'tits' and while that isn't, like, BAD, I just want to give people that are in compromising situations a choice to clean up their dash.
#here prow goes again - discourse tag. block it if you hate arguments. I try to avoid arguments honestly bc they're not worth the time but I'm not averse to posting them on occasion. I may also use a general 'discourse' tag.
#pin for prow pls - personal tag for stuff I really want to try to remember. helps narrow down posts for things I'd like to review later.
A lot of other tags (memes, videos, etc) are pretty self explanatory. I've moved away from my "non pokemon" tag, but if anyone really WANTS me to bring that back, I'm happy to bring it back. Just let me know.
Furthermore, ya boi is broke and currently waiting the 200+ average days for a decision on disability benefits, and even if I get them, they'll probably be garbage. If you can spare some change, it'd be greatly appreciated, even if it was like, a single dollar. I can also do art commissions, sfw or nsfw.
P@yPal || $silfurgames
My commission prices are flexible, but in general, for a single character, it's $10 for a sketch, $20 for a flat color w/ sketch, $30 for flat color w/ clean lines, $40 for shaded color w/ clean lines. For each additional character, add 35% of the price (so two characters for shaded color w/ clean lines would be $40+35%=$54).
I am willing to TRY to draw anything, but without references, I am best at animals (mammals, most reptiles, and many fictional creatures). With references I am willing to try anything.
Here's some samples of my work, not all of which I've posted here before:
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“I’m here.”
hey hey !! i’m mod paint. more info under the cut!
general info
pls refer 2 me as only mod paint !!
i do go by mod venus on the @/heros-moving-castle-official blog though
my pronouns r he/they/she btw (not in order of preference - pls just just mix them up when u talk abt me at different times and i’ll be happy)
i’m bisexual. that’s not super important but at the same time it’s impossible to know me and not realize at some point so
i do have a tumblr blog but it’s a secret ! if u want to guess i won’t stop u tho
i edit the writing for the story! i do also like to draw but it’s probably unlikely that i’ll post something with my own art in the near future
i am also autistic ! i do like tone indicators but please try not to put too many, it confuses me. also, please use /nu (not upset) instead of /nm (not mad) - my brain sort of processes /nm as someone actually being mad at me so it helps a bit to use /nu instead. i wont kill you if u use /nm on accident though
if i seem rlly fucking weird when i reply to asks then my bad ! i like interactions & i dont bite but i have bad anxiety and it kinda fucks up my social interactions whenever i do anything. and then that gets amplified by my autism so
ib is cool i gues (game not schooling program) . im stealing garrys gender immediately btw
uhh . boundaries i guess
no nsfw. both mod rose & i r minors & we don’t wanna see or hear abt that lol
i’m not going to put triggers or anything on here bc that’s dangerous but i do have some things that i should probably mention
please don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if i say smth and it makes absolutely zero sense! even i don’t know what i’m saying sometimes . i just type words and hope they make sense
already mentioned this but pls use tone indicators & pls use /nu (not upset) instead of /nm (not mad) bc my brain processes /nm weird
please don’t use typing quirks in asks, especially if ur on anon. replacing words with numbers that they sound like or shorter letters (as in saying “2″ instead of “to” or “too” or using “ur” instead of “your”) is fine and i don’t mind that (i do that too LMAO) but please don’t use ones where u replace every s with the letter z or every o with the number 0 or something. it’s just really hard to read and i can’t read, process, nor answer ur ask sry
so like. i do have irls . bc i have psychotic delusions. and that is important to note i guess bc doubles
i am mari (omori), xiao (gi), fischl (gi), and childe (gi) irl*
i’m fine with doubles, kins, etc interacting in terms of liking & reblogging as well as sending asks but pls don’t initiate conversation w me !! regarding doubles, asks are fine as long as they’re questions abt the au or something and not just to start a convo w me (i probably won’t check the blog unless i need to use ur pronouns in an answer or smth)
*genshin isn’t related to this au but i know mod rose interacts w a lot of ppl who play genshin so i figured this would b important to note
♡ if u actually read to all the way down here then i applaud u & i hope u have a good day !!
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Hello!!!
Ahh I recently read the first chapter of 'The Sun God's Bride' and omgg I'm so sooooo excited!!!!! It looks like it's going to a fun and emotional journey!!!
I love your world building!! Its so realistic but fantastical?? Idk like it just seems sooo lovely, pls I wanna live there 😫🤲💖
I'm curious! When building a world what's your process?? Do you use references such as art and photography to build the world along with your own imagination?? I've noticed that you like to draw, do you draw concept art???
Also!! Pls I'm so in love with how you reference 'flower girl' in your work! Its such a cute and fun little nod to surrender!
Ahh I look forward to going along this journey with you!!! Super excited for the next chapter!!! 💖💖💖
Hello Anima!!!!!!
I want us to live in the Sun God world too. 😩 We could be temple brats, surely it’d be easy… swimming in pools and idk…. eating fruit, LOL. (Oh my gosh though LOL i’m…. so glad you like the florist references :’) IM SORRY GUYS, but that little joke/thread makes me way too happy so i’m just going to include it in everything LOL. like a multiverse theory — somewhere out there, a flower girl version of us is just living their best life, over and over again, falling in love a hundred different ways :’)))) )
But okay, to the crux of your ask — I like to make moodboards when starting a story!!!! I do this for everything, literally, not just fanfics (I made a moodboard for my friend’s and I’s summer trip last year LMAO no chill :’) ). But I have a weheartit account that’s like a million years old, so I use that to collect inspo. Basically, like, if I’ve decided to write something I generally know the feel of it, if that makes sense? So I use my moodboards as a way to pinpoint key visuals/feelings I wanna convey (or just for extra inspo!). Like, for instance, this is just some of the images I have saved under my Sun God board:
Not everything will make it into the final product that is the fic — but this is generally a good way to remind myself what I was trying to achieve LOL. They also have the added bonus of being the images I’ll use when I post about the chapter updates, here on tumbles!!! But as I continue to work on a story, I’ll keep adding to each board as needed — weeding out pictures that don’t work anymore, adding new ones. These are some of the latest ones for something (just like this):
My process for any kind of world building, whether it’s trying to create a fantasy world, or just expanding on a canon one is pretty much just to give myself visual keys!!! Like, I’ll make a few written notes of things in my initial outlining of stuff, but generally, I’ll know a story is sticking if I’ve driven to scribbling for it, or doing this collecting of inspo. Like, with the Todoroki x Reader fic I wanna do, after Deku’s, I’m currently in the “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” stage:
So what I have currently is just…. flat-out inspo, Idea collecting. The earlier images I have for it are very ocean/sea based, because I started musing about this before I wrote The Widening Sky — so a lot of my oceany-inspo can be seen here, LOL, I dunno if the final product will be as…….. dependant, on the sea, for all that it starts off on a beach.
Doodling for the fics isn’t as common as it is when I’m working on something original — what I’ll draw instead, if I need to, are like, key details. So for example, this one here is — a rough idea of like, how I visualised the cove in The Widening Sky. A priestess/temple Sister sketch for a ceremony in The Sun God’s Bride. And some details from the outfits I’m going to force Y/N to wear in Chapter Four of something (just like this)! LOL
What I really like to draw is how I imagine the characters to look like — with fanfiction I don’t really need to do that, lmao, since most of our cast already exists, but I have drawn what I personally see the Readers as?? I’d never share those sketches though lmao, because I wouldn’t want anyone to like…. see that, instead of what they want. And it’s fun seeing other people’s interpretations!!!!
Saying all that, I guess the “world-building” process kind of looks like this, all together:
this is something I’ve compiled for the manuscript I currently have collecting dust lmao. Doodles, moodboard, mock covers because i’m vain LMAOOO dslkfjsdlkfjkldsfjkldsfj. I’ll have all these bits and pieces in their own folder!! they make me happy to look at ldfkjksdlfjkdlsj. I like having things in front of me, LOL.
whew this was longer than i intended dslkfjsdkljsdkljfkdlsfj i hope it was somehow enlightening??? basically — i just think of something, and then collect a bunch of pictures LOL. and if that fails, i’ll draw some. :’) Thank-you for asking me LOL, i had fun talking about my little visual aids — I’m excited for The Sun God’s Bride, too, and excited we’re starting out on it together. 💖🌷 Here’s to the adventure ahead. 🌅
#ofmermaidstories-asks#anima197 and the sunny days ahead ☀️🌷🌾#thank u for this ask anima i took great delight in answering it LOL#ofmermaidsdoodles#the sun god’s bride - fic#mer-spoils-everything
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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.
Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭
Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me
context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot
Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?
I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)
Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^
SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:
Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.
Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.
^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???
Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?
Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.
Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx
Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.
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AAA hello
Since half of my finals are ending... I'm wondering if anyone has any art requests for christmas bc I would?? Try to draw yall idk, ive been plannin g to make art gifts and like....
I'm just happy with you all mutuals staying with me for a long while so 🥺🥺
Ships are okay-
Specific characters too! Even ones I don't know-
Things I wouldn't draw: Inc3st , draw selfship w/ same f/o? Ask if ship involves f/o 🤔 if its just them conversing or something or platonic I wouldn't mind gkwbckwbf as well as abuse in gen, i hope you all understand fgkdsdgsdfg
i might be posting through maybe... 24th? 25th? im not sure... i like to say they are holiday presents 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 just wanna try my best and share the love for you all.
and yes pls do tell details, positions & references i would try my best to draw what you’d like. i hope i can do all of them for you all ;O; and pls i’d want to give it all for free. i hope everyone had good finals, if not, there’s no need to fret at all there’s always time to keep trying ;0;
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downloaded spotify again on my laptop for sky music, and well, i dont put my headphones on very often when im playing sky which is kinda sad...the music is beautiful, as well as having very interesting titles...
Anyways, ive only listened to the first few and some of them im just trying to remember which belongs where. Just gonna lay out a few of my thoughts here
yknow, the manta theme just doesnt seem to fit without the manta calls in it.
The elders and their temples do have a leifmotif across their songs
Ok at some parts it really reminds me of the Great Sea in Wind Waker
AD GET OUT OF HERE
EFF OFF
I HATE YOU
A Portentous Walk? I did not know what that word meant XD
It means ominous. Sounds about right for forest. But for this part? Not very ominous...well until you get to the low notes...
I LOVE WALTZING IN THE RAIN (has a sudden desire to draw forest elder dancing in the rain)
I love this theme so much askfjhadlskjd
It has that swaying feeling that could lull you to sleep man. I want a version of this but with rain ambience
Now this one, an Invention. I dont recognize this theme OH THE NOTES SOUND ODDLY OFF? Im guessing its referring to darkstone, or the thing that molds darkstone...yeah i cannot remember where this theme plays i will need to go through the game again with headphones. I do need to go through forest next.
Faded Glories eh? thats...interesting.
Anyways, just gonna pop this in here but i was really hoping for the butterfly charmer theme to be in here.
SOMERSAULT!!! Love this theme! Now i can listen to it without it fading out when im going too slow!
Ok but i kinda dont like how theres no background music in the rink. It makes it feel simply empty and cold, unlike Somersault
Diving in to the race aight!
GO AWAY AD I WANT TO LISTEN TO SKY DSLKJHLSDFHFDS-
WHY ARE THERE TWO??? EFF OFF! I DONT CARE ABOUT SCHOOL RIGHT NOW
THERES ANOTHER MCDONALDS ONE??? WHAT THE FRICK?
...And now theres a fourth no i dont want to listen to it i want to listen to sky
FINALLY
ELDER CUTSCENE TIME
Shall we play? eeee i love the little jingles in there
Before A Fall ohohohoho
...Two Heroes? hmm
Where does this play??? I need to go to wasteland anyways today ill have to check that out.
VAULT!!! Music is so soothing here
An Invitation...OHHHHHHHH
Im also currently looking through the concept art and um, the starting area was once called Mental Space???
For those who have come before
that is...interesting. What does it mean?
EFF YOU AWKWARD SILENCE I DONT CARE GET OUT OF HERE YOU STUPID AD
WHY IS THERE ANOTHER MCDONALDS ONE???
NO LET ME LISTEN TO SKY GET OUT
ARG this is why i dont like spotify
YES YES YES THE MANTA ONE I LOVE THIS THEME
AN UPWARDS DANCE OMG
The story thus far is unclear and i need more lore pls
oh
oh
oh thats pretty
thats really pretty
Hmm very ominous (the current)
Well actually as i type that is it referring to the current, like as in right now, or current like water?
I also do not know where this plays pls help
Dang those accidentals
eeeeeee its like krill has spotted you
they’re putting together a lot of notes that dont really harmonize but it still sounds dope
reeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE (me hearing one note in a bunch that is off)
and...soothing music-nope still ominous
The Deep...Im pretty sure this is all eden lol
I dont know where this plays tho. I dont go to eden often and when i do, usually its without headphones.
might solo run eden sometime
where the heck does this play???
Exhale is coming up...
GOSH DANGIT AD
WHY HERE
WHY
<KJSDFSFDLUSFKHJFSDKLHJSDFKLHJ
‘takes off headphones’ im just going to wait until this bastard gets out of here
Why is there always a mcdonalds one???
Ok exhale
yknow, interesting word choice there
ok i love the little reversed notes playing in the background
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
OOOH THE CELLO (Lost and Found)
OOOOHHHHHH
I am going to get another four ads in here before i finish listening to this playlist arent i
Flight!
I LOVE THE BEGINNING FIRST OF ALL? ITS SO PEACEFUL? EVEN THOUGH THERES LIGHTNING LITERALLY EVERYWHERE? AND EVERYTHINGS CRASHING DOWN?
DEM BELLS
HERE COME THE VOCALS!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
to orbit!
Cloud Messenger? Oh this is like, when you first start out the game
Cloud Messenger...thats interesting
The light beyond! Its so pretty! I hope those vocals arent just rambles and are actually words and mean something because its really pretty
Also, Orbit doesnt have much of a soundtrack but the sound design of the place is really, really dang pretty and cool.
I THOUGHT SO
AN AD
DUDE I JUST HAVE THE CREDITS TRACK TO LISTEN TO GET OUT
ooh it be pretty
oho i hear a bit of forest in there
SO!
That was amazing and i love it asldfkjhasdlkfhladf
But i hate spotify. I usually listen to music on youtube with an adblocker so
Anyways, congrats for getting to the bottom of my rambles! You get a heart!
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i wish u branched out more in ur art ... :'( its so sweet and soft and still can be so rich and dark theres so much potential ughh u never miss ........and gawd i know its never gonna happen but! whatever midground is id love to see snippets of the story expressed in drawings and such ah! anyhow have a great day or night, ur drawings and Especially watercolors never cease to be a source of inspiration and ily pls remember that im always here refrshing ur blog in excitment :3
idk what is this ask im drunk and sappy and felt a need to write it
ugh yeah sadly im aware my art isn't really diverse.... that's mostly bc I really really suck at most stuff outside basic bust portraits. but also it hurts when some people just assume I share everything i draw, that I never look up references or tutorials and never even try to experiment or go for something more ambitious.... the truth is, i practice a lot, I just really hate how most of those drawings turn out (God, just yesterday I was drawing for the entire afternoon, i wasted so much paper and still have nothing to post......). when I go for full body drawings, my artstyle seems to have gone m.i.a. and it just looks as if I traced another drawing, and when drawing dynamic poses everything still feels either terribly stiff or unrealistically bended in uncomfortable ways, it really sucks. I wish i could draw scenes from midground! maybe short comics, even! i really do. I wish I could give more to people who happen to think my artstyle is pleasant or are somewhat interested in my ocs. its all really disappointing, even tho I know I don't really owe anyone artistic growth, that even if i literally never did anything besides front-facing mercies, I wouldn't have to change for anyone, as long as it would bring me joy. But I do wanna evolve and get better as an artist..... and god, I feel like the more I try, the more inferior I feel to all the real artists who post a detailed realistic and fully rendered portrait with a caption of "Just a simple warmup sketch" and like, get 15k notes and their commissions cost like 200 dollars. like I'm so far fucking away from that it's unreal.
Anyway thanks for the kind words, I'm happy my drawings bring u joy and since I've done a lot of illustrations to midground in the past (back when I thought I'd draw one illustration per chapter and put it in the pdf of the story lmao... Or drawing covers for each book and all that) maybe I could try to redraw some of them as practice.... I don't know. But still, thank u, it's really sweet of u to say all that, I really appreciate it! Messages like that make me feel like its all worth the work, if I can inspire even one person. Thanks again, I hope alcohol went easy on u and u didn't have to wake up hangover this morning.
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Met You Tonight: Kauri and Jack
CW: Electroshock, referenced abusive relationship, pet whump, dehumanization, referenced conditioning/brainwashing, frank references to prostitution, very brief reference to assumed drug use
This piece is a collaboration with @spiffythespook featuring Jack/Reid! Takes place immediately after Kauri escapes, five days after he gets away from Owen Grant. This collab has multiple parts, so you’ll see Spiffy and I posting them as we get them edited!
Tagging Kauri and Jack’s crews: @im-not-rare-im-rarr, @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @moose-teeth, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @rivertamandspike
It had been raining most of the day. It was the kind of pounding, pouring rain that hit hard enough to splatter and splash back up, collected outside sewage drains and ran like miniature rivers along the gutters.
By the time midnight came around, though, the rain had stopped, leaving the sound of water rushing through storm drains along the side of the streets and a heavy, oppressive humidity hanging in the air. The streets were shimmering wet, reflections from headlights bouncing right off the road, and streetlight circles looked more like puddles than actual illumination.
People found their way out onto the streets anyway. They came in cars and on foot, walking to bars or racing each other into clubs. They stumbled drunk or walked sober, congregated into clumps that giggled and talked and danced and laughed.
In rougher parts of town people still walked to the bars, but there were plenty who simply stood, too.
Women and men walked slowly along their chosen corners in the glow of streetlights or in the dark, hips jutted out or with a certain kind of stance that gave away what they were selling. The occasional car cut through the night, came to a stop along the curb. Sometimes the john got out - sometimes the woman or man on the corner got in - before the car drove away.
From one dark alley the sound of harsh, ugly laughter echoed from two or three voices at once. Underneath the laughter was scraping and whining, thumps and a soft pleading for them to please, just st-stop, I don't have any money, please.
Eventually, one of the three, a nondescript and muscular guy in a plain shirt and jeans who could have been anywhere from a rough 30 to a pretty good 45, stepped out, lit a cigarette, and glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, guys, that fucking tweaker doesn't have shit anyway. Look at him twitch, he probably spent his last dime on whatever shit he’s got in his system.”
The two others with him laughed, coming out into the light themselves, arguing good-naturedly over their destination before heading on foot towards the nearest bar.
Their noise drew the attention of a young man, clearly one of those who had been busy walking the streetcorner, still wet from the earlier weather. The young man stayed well out of view until they departed, eyeing the raucous group until the sound of the men’s voices had totally faded and they turned a corner.
From the alleyway came the sound of low, broken cursing. The young man blinked and headed a little closer to try and take a look and see what exactly had gotten the attention of the three men that had just left.
There was a boy curled up in the alleyway - a man but barely, and he was soaked to the skin. The expensive blue cashmere sweater he'd been wearing was ripped, torn, and bloody. Soft black pants were so wet they clung to his legs, and the flat slide-on sandals on his feet were at least two sizes too big.
Bloody and bruised, the boy began to push himself back up to standing when suddenly every muscle went rigid. He let out a cry and his back arched as he dropped with a hard crack of his knees back to the ground.
"Ow, ow, n-n-no, st-stop-... please, stop, pl-please," The boy begged no one who could hear him, clutching at a spot just below his neck on the right side, pressing hard with the flat of his palm. His other hand was flat on the alleyway ground, his black curls plastered to his forehead with a mix of sweat and rain.
He felt a throbbing pain in one eye that told him he'd be bruised by morning, but it was nothing compared with the agony racing through the nerves under his skin.
"Stop, I w-won't come h-h-home, stop it I w-won't," he pleaded, in his surprisingly deep soft voice, to no one, to someone, to anyone. "Y-you lied, you lied to me, you lied, I won’t...”
From the end of the alley, pressed into the shadow of the wall, the young man stepped out slowly and cleared his throat to draw the boy’s attention. His wet hair was pushed back, combed through messily with fingers and a couple wet strands hung in his face. If his tight, cropped shirt and jeans didn’t give away his profession, his naturally alluring posture did... but there was no desire in his expression, only concern.
“Hey, buddy. You look like you’re in pretty rough shape. Need a hand?”
Kauri flinched away from the voice, trying to scramble backwards, but his muscles were still so locked from pain that all he could manage was a foot or two before he froze again. He looked up, teeth ground together, to show wide, frightened blue eyes.
He had a circle of red around one eye beginning to darken, and the young man in the cropped shirt put his hands up, trying to show he was harmless, taking in the other man’s disheveled, sopping wet appearance.
"N-no, pl-please!” Kauri’s voice was thin and strained, and his hands kept shaking, nerve endings twitching long after the pain had ended. “I don't have any m-money. I d-don't have anything! Pl-please don’t hurt me!”
He put his left hand out in some kind of supplication, sweater sleeve riding up his arm, the hint of a barcode tattoo on the inside unmistakable. "Please! Please, j-just, just ow, fuck-... aftersh-shocks, ah-”
“Did I ask for money? I don’t want anything from you, man,” the young man said. He froze at the sight of the tattoo, biting his lip anxiously and glancing over both ends of the alley to check that no one was nearby. He crouched down a couple of feet - a good safe distance - away. With his work boots on, he couldn’t quite lay his feet flat - instead, he perched on his toes. “Hey, it’s okay. Listen, um... I used to be a box boy, too, okay? I can’t prove it, they… my owner was pretty shady. The company took off my tattoo so they wouldn’t be associated with him. Anyway, I’m not gonna hurt you. I don’t… believe in that shit.”
“B-Box…” Kauri’s voice trailed off, confused. “I d-don’t-... how do you-... Oh, fuck, the news, he told the news or something…” He moved back a couple of feet, nearly crawling on his hands and knees. “D-Did you see me on the news? Is, is that how you kn-know about me?”
“Shit, no. I don’t have cable or anything-” the young man said, almost laughing. The sound died as the boy’s muscles locked again, spine curving as his head dropped towards the ground, forehead nearly touching the dirty alley pavement.
Kauri whimpered, rocking back onto his knees, unconsciously bending forwards to move into Respect.
The young man grit his teeth and hesitated, an expression of mixed distaste and old fear on his face. Again, he moved forward - nearly on his hands and knees, too, now. “Hey. I know because I saw your tattoo. I’m not gonna turn you in, man, but I can guarantee someone’s going to notice if you’re this fucked up out here alone. Lemme help you out, I’ve got an apartment. What’s happening? Is that... electroshock?”
Kauri gasped in a breath and nodded without coming up from position, trying to calm his mind, to keep a single coherent thought through the sudden rush of pain. Just as quickly as it had come, it seemed to fade out, and his breathing changed, from shallow quick gasps to deep gulps of the humid air.
“It’s-... a n-new product, I just… here.” He pushed himself up and back, kneeling resting on his heels, slowly looking back up, searching the other man’s face for a sign that this was any worse a decision than anything else he’d done in the past five days.
All he saw was concern - genuine honest concern.
He pulled the neck of his sweater down on the right side, exposing his collarbone to nearly halfway down his chest. Along the bone ran a small line of perfectly spaced circular dots, glinting like metal in the light, glowing with a faint blue light against his skin.
“I ran away from my owner,” he said, a little hoarsely. “He’s trying to get me to come home.”
The young man’s eyes widened, brow rising at the sight of the… well, they looked like piercings, but he knew better. “Damn. That’s a fancy fuckin’ product, isn’t it?” He leaned back, sat on his heels, and sighed. “Good for you, for running and not going home. You got a place to stay?”
“W-Would I… would I look like this if I had a place to stay?” The boy flinched as soon as the sarcasm was out of his mouth, like he expected an angry reaction or even for the pain to start again.
The young man grinned, tilted his head, looking happy that the other guy had a bit of spunk in him. “...fair point. But if you didn’t want a place to stay, you’d tell me you already have one.” Kauri moved to push himself weakly to his feet, and the young man watched him closely, ready to reach out in case he stumbled.
Kauri swayed a little, pale and lightheaded, but he made it to standing, one hand on the brick wall next to him to hold himself up. Some of the aging brick crumbled around his fingers as he scratched into it. “I don’t have anywhere, I’m not… I don’t know anyone. I jumped out of, of a moving car, I just have…” He looked over his shoulder. On the ground behind him, mostly hidden in shadow, was a blue backpack. “I just have that.”
The other man nodded. “Okay. So...you want a place to crash for the night or not? In case your psycho master decides to lay it on thick again. ‘Cause, uh… lemme tell you… this district is not one you wanna be stuck in overnight unless you plan to have sex of one kind or another.”
“Psycho… Mr. Owen’s not psycho, he just-” Kauri jerked again, but it didn’t last this time and he was only rigid against the wall for a few seconds before he let out a shuddering breath and turned, scooping the backpack up by the straps. It hung with surprising weight off of him when he pulled it on over his shoulders.
Sure he’s not, the other man thought, but let it slide. The shock was bad enough without someone rubbing in how warped it was that you could have electroshock piercings… maybe they were even screwed into the bone. He made a bit of a face at that idea, feeling pain in his teeth like in response to nails on a chalkboard. The heaviness of the boy’s bag told him that the guy didn’t have nothing, but that was none of his business, either.
“Um.” Kauri shifted, a little uneasily, from foot to foot. “If you… d-don’t mind, I can st-stay? Just, just for tonight? I don’t have any money, I d-don’t have anything, I j-just…” His voice trailed off, considering. “I’m… I’m Kauri.”
“I’m Jack,” the young man responded, and then promptly grinned and quirked his head. “And I’m filthy rich tonight, so don’t worry about money. C’mon, let’s go. Wanna lean on me, or are you okay?”
“I’m... okay to walk.” Kauri’s teeth were gritted, his jaw set, and he walked with a pained stiff movement that made it clear the three in the alley had landed at least a few pretty good kicks while they were having their fun, but he stayed up.
For a second, they walked in silence, Kauri glancing sidelong at Jack, curiously.
“Hey. If you were, were really… like me… then you’re n-not rich,” Kauri said, but it was with a little bit of humor lacing his voice, a hint of resilience under everything else. “We can’t live on our own, we d-don’t know anything, it’s in all the… things they made us know, to say.”
Jack nodded, then shrugged. “Speak for yourself. I am the proud possessor of one month’s rent and enough grocery money for the next couple weeks. On a rainy day, no less,” he cocked a crooked grin. It faded after a moment or two. “I dunno, man. I think my order was really strange. I’ve got memory gaps from the drugs, but all my skills are intact… well. Except the writing, still.”
Kauri was a little slow, having to move carefully against the ache from the earlier assault. It gave him time to look at Jack and try to decide if he was just lying, if he’d just turn him in. Jack didn’t seem all that bothered by the pace. He shuffled along slow enough to stay right alongside him.
“I can’t write either. If I do, um-” He gestured at his collarbone again, the little glowing circles hidden now under the wet sweater. “These go off. But I couldn’t before… is Jack your before-name? Kauri’s my name he gave me, I d-don’t have another one anymore.”
Jack nodded in understanding. How they managed to tune an electroshock device to someone’s writing, he didn’t know. It was weird. Renford could do it if she wanted - she could do anything, as far as he could tell.
“Yeah,” he nodded, shuddering for too many reasons thinking of her face… being wet and cold was the least of them. “I had a, uh, a pet name. I don’t like it. Took me a while to remember myself, but the other guys in the district knew who I was. They helped. Sorta.” He snorted. “There’s some loyalty among whores, but us gay prostitutes have too much competition and too little market, so I still watched my back.”
Kauri stumbled to a stop all at once, turning to look at him again more clearly in the light that shone from a streetlamp above their heads.
He took in the cropped shirt and tight pants, the shoes, then slowly raised his eyes back up to the man’s face. “I-I didn’t…” His voice trailed off again, staring blatantly, but the look on his face was more like wide-eyed surprise, like a child that had never seen a dandelion before, rather than any kind of judgement.
Jack turned, surprised that Kauri had stopped. When he realized why Kauri looked so surprised, he grinned and put a hand on his hip, cocked it, and smirked. “You like what you see?” Kauri’s surprise was hilarious. But that was okay...he didn’t seem grossed out.
Kauri went red. “I, um, I just… I-I, you’re… you’re okay, I just-... you went from being a, um, a pet to being… on purpose?”
Jack blinked at the question, and then gasped in understanding and shook his head. “Oh, no. I started on the streets long before I was legal - don’t tell anybody that - and then one day they picked me up. Special order for Cori fucking Fisher. You seen him on the news? Bastard. They fixed up my looks and made me take an oath, then dumped me back here - home sweet home.”
Kauri bit down on his lower lip in thought, cocking his head to the side, trying to think. Finally, he shook it. “No, sorry. Mr. Owen doesn’t watch news, I don’t… I don’t know anything. You had a bad owner? I mean, not just to you, to other people?”
Jack snorted. “Yeah, that’s putting it lightly.”
Kauri seemed to be thinking, taking Jack in. Then he started walking again, the heavy weight inside his backpack smacking against his lower back a little as he moved. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a, a gay, um, prostitute, uh… before.” Kauri’s face flushed red, visible even in the yellow streetlights they moved under. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve seen anything before but… I feel like this is new.”
“You probably have and just couldn’t tell.” He smirked a bit at the flush on Kauri’s face. Man, he looked cute.
“So when you s-said you were rich…”
“Oh, I said I’m rich tonight. I’m a tiny bit sore, but I’m paid up for the month.” If it was possible, Kauri’s face went even redder, and Jack’s smile wider. “Worth it. Means every night I can work for the rest of the month, I’m saving. It also means we can stop at the store for supper. You hungry?”
Kauri swallowed, eyes widening a little at the offer, looking at Jack sideways again like he wasn’t sure what he should say. There was a muffled sound from inside his backpack - a soft faint beeping - and he twisted back to look at it, jostling it a little until the beeping went quiet again. “I, um. Y-Yeah, I haven’t… it’s been a, a while since I ate. This guy bought me crackers, but… Do you… I don’t have any money. I took s-some cash from Mr. Owen but, um, some people took that like the, the first day I was out. I can maybe help you? Clean or something? I have some Domestic training…”
Jack glanced uneasily at Kauri’s backpack, but decided to leave well enough alone. “Don’t worry about it, man. Like I said, I made enough today to eat for a while. I’ll make enough after a day of recovery that I won’t even worry for next month. Anyway, I had Domestic training, too, so the apartment’s in great shape.”
There were others out - women and men, some Jack’s competition probably, Kauri thought, eyeing them in a whole new light. When he’d found his way here it’d been because he’d been kicked off a bus, he had no idea where he was. He hadn’t known he was in a bad neighborhood other than the worn-down buildings and empty storefronts.
The bars all seemed to be doing well enough, at least. And there was no shortage of cars stopping at streetcorners to pick the men and women lingering there up.
There was one woman with hair that made Kauri stare as they moved towards her, hanging most of the way down her back in shades of purple, green, and blue, nearly iridescent. She was wearing a short, tight minidress that mirrored it, the sequins almost like fish scales. “She looks like a mermaid,” Kauri breathed, but then caught himself. “I… don’t know what a mermaid is, I don’t know why I said that...”
“Uh-huh,” Jack said softly, almost under his breath, already starting to steer Kauri away.
Too late.
The woman heard them, glancing over and tossing hair over one shoulder.. “Oh thank you, honey. I worked hard to buy a wig as nice as this one.” She raised two thinly plucked eyebrows at Jack, shooting him a smile that wasn’t quite kind. “Look at you, Jack-Jack, picking up strays. Takes one to know one, I guess. Adopt don’t shop, that’s what I always say. This one’s cute.”
Jack smiled tensely back, the look a caustic and distinct leave us alone that had a mean little smile twitching onto the woman’s face in response.
Kauri shifted himself a little closer to Jack, and when the woman’s eyes went back to him, Kauri moved until he was behind the other man completely.
The woman pouted, a little, as if sad that he would hide from her. “Geez, Jackie, where’d you find him? He looks like he’s been standing out in the rain all day long.”
Kauri fought the urge to mumble two days actually, and hid himself a little more thoroughly behind Jack.
“I found him in the rain. Duh,” Jack responded, reaching back with an open hand for Kauri’s, hoping he would give it. Kauri gripped tightly onto him without hesitating, twining fingers around his and stepping as close to him as he could get. “Speaking of, I hear it’s gonna start up again pretty soon. Torrential downpour. Might wanna get you and your wig inside, Stella. See ya tomorrow.”
As they moved away from her, Stella rolled her eyes at him, shifting on her very high heels and turning back to watch the cars moving past, one hip jutted out. “Didn’t think twinks were your type, Jackie!” She called after him, and Kauri twisted around to look back at her, confused.
Jack pretended he didn’t hear her. He kept his eyes peeled for more hazards and leaned close to Kauri, voice low and cautioning. “Don’t talk to these people - you’re an outsider. They’ll eat you… and not in the fun way like I would.”
Kauri nodded solemnly, tightening his grip on Jack’s hand a little more. “Like, like the guys in the alley,” Kauri said in a half-whisper, less a question than a statement of fact. “They thought I had money, and then Mr. Owen… wanted me to miss him. That’s, that’s why he set it off, I think…”
“Yeah.”
Kauri hesitated, and then whispered, “Jack? Can, can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“Um... What’s a twink?”
Jack burst out laughing and steered Kauri down a different main street. “A twink’s a skinny, young, hot guy. They usually bottom, but not necessarily. Stella’s wrong, though - my type is ‘has a dick,’” he grinned a bit.
Bottom. Has a dick, Kauri mouthed the words in echo but didn't say them out loud, his face a little red, still embarrassed. "I, I don't… I, um. D-Do I… am I… that?" He gave up on putting together a sentence that made any sense and followed Jack in embarrassed silence after that.
The convenience store was on the corner of this block, bars on the large windows but a view of the fluorescent lights and displays inside visible in between them, and Jack led Kauri in after taking a quick look around. “Hey, Bill,” he greeted the clerk, with easy familiarity and something like real affection.
“Hi, Jack,” the clerk, a man somewhere in his forties, responded without looking up from his book.
The shop had mostly canned goods, magazines, and junk food, but Jack took a basket and went right to the freezer section to pick up some meat first. Crappy meat, but better than nothing. He got a gallon of milk, some blocks of cheese, and a couple jars of pickles.
“Anything you want in here?”
Kauri kept himself close, nearly pressed against him, eyes on the floor. As far as he knew, he'd never been in a place like this before. Owen bought groceries or had them delivered, Kauri never went anywhere with him except a coffeeshop or to the Host's, or to the, the ski cabin, where he and-
Kauri cut the memory off before it could hurt, gnawing on his lower lip nervously, trying not to look like what he was - a runaway pet, something worth money. The clerk hadn't looked up but his bloodied face and ripped-up expensive clothes weren't exactly subtle.
"I, I, um… I, I don't-... whatever you want is fine, Jack," He said seriously.
There was a soft beep from inside his backpack and a muffled, slightly mechanical female voice said, Kauri pizza appreciate all kinds. Kauri sandwich appreciate but not mayonnaise. Kauri iced coffee appreciate milk.
Kauri's eyes widened back to the fear from when he'd first seen Jack and his already pale face went white.
Jack’s brow raised and he pulled Kauri behind one of the shelves, out of Bill’s view. “Please tell me you don’t have robot parts in you, too.”
Kauri’s eyes fixed on the floor, shoulders curving in a little. As his hair dried out of the rain it was beginning to frizz up, and as he shook his head he tried to smash them back down, less distinctive, less recognizable.
“I, I don’t… um.” He looked to one side and then the other, then slid the backpack off his shoulders, holding it with one arm curved around it while the other reached for the zipper. When he unzipped it, slowly, he pushed back the fabric so Jack could see inside.
Jack stared a second at Kauri, and then warily looked into the bag, half-expecting something to jump out. Part of a circle of black metal and plastic was in there, with two softly glowing red circles on the flattened top. Jack squinted.
Keira greet, the female voice said, clearly coming from the Roomba nestled into some fabric. Designation Keira. Kauri, Owner.
Kauri swallowed, shamefaced. “I, um, I stole something when I ran away from Mr. Owen.”
“... yeah. A floor cleaner. Real bright,” Jack said, bewildered, staring at the two faintly glowing red dots that seemed to stare right back. He’d realized the kid was naive, but he didn’t realize he was a dumbass. “That’ll help you a lot more than like… clothes… water… I don’t know, a knife. Whatever, man. It’s talking, though, and that’s weird. Pizza? I’ll get pizza.” Jack muttered to himself a bit, pulling a couple boxed pizzas out of the freezer. That was reasonable - he could do that. Great. Just great. Lost one psycho, gained another.
Kauri’s eyes narrowed, the first sign of any real backbone or spine he’d shown so far. “No, I took her because he was going to get rid of her,” he snapped, zipping the bag back up and throwing it angrily back over his shoulders. “And she has GPS, she could tell me directions, but I didn’t… I don’t have anywhere to go, so she doesn’t know how to direct me. I don't know anything, and she knows everything. I can't even read, I can't… I can't tell anyone I don't know how to read."
“You just told me,” Jack responded, more to be obtuse than to actually argue.
"You used to be a pet, too!" Kauri half-hissed, half-whispered. "You should be the only one I can tell!"
There was no more beeping from the backpack. Kauri's jaw was set and angry, but even so - he never left Jack's side, shadowed him like the pet he still was, always just behind and to the side.
Jack didn’t exactly mind that, although he was starting to question Kauri’s sanity - in fact, he turned around and took a long look into Kauri’s eyes, checking for dilated or pinprick pupils. Kauri stared right back, swallowing against the way they were inches apart.
Finally, Jack sighed, seemingly satisfied with what he saw. “Okay, so she’s a computer. She could tell me the total of this stuff. If she’s right, she’ll match Bill, and then maybe I’ll believe you.” Jack listed everything off with their prices before tax and waited.
There was a brief pause.
Fifty-seven dollars and thirty-five cents pre-tax, the woman's voice spoke from inside the backpack. She might have sounded slightly smug, but that could have just been the way the mechanical, robotic edge to the voice made it seem flat. Local sales tax is 6% on food and 13% on non-food items. Total cost sixty-one dollars and fifty-nine cents.
Kauri frowned, crossing his arms in front of himself. "There, now you admit when she's right that I'm not crazy."
“I didn’t say you’re crazy,” Jack said. He hadn’t, not to Kauri’s face. He’d just been muttering that he was psycho. Which was… not different. “Okay, I did say that you’re crazy. But I don’t think she’s right.”
He took a hoodie and a pair of sweats off a hanger, and put them up on the counter. He loaded the food up. “Hey Bill, can you subtotal before these?”
Bill looked up at Jack and his company, sighed tiredly, and set down his novel before he started punching in and bagging the order. Which subtotaled, of course, to sixty-one dollars and fifty-nine cents.
“...great, thanks. Yeah, add these to the order,” he pushed the clothes. Bill added them, looked over Kauri and paused.
“Got yourself a new stray? Lookin’ kinda fancy, there,” he asked, surprised. He folded the sweats and watched Jack, who kept a straight face and tried not to look nervous. “You boys should be careful. Cops’ll be making their rounds soon. Here,” he tossed the hoodie at Kauri.
“Yeah, thanks, Bill,” Jack took out a pair of fifties and passed them to Bill, who put them in his drop box right away and counted out some change. “Have a good night, man.”
“Get some rest, Jack.” Bill paused, and the automatic doors had slid open with a sssshhhk sound when he added, "And get something over his arm."
Kauri glanced down only to realize that crossing his arms had made his sleeve ride up again, his barcode and Whumpees-R-Us product number in plain sight. He yanked the sleeve back down and cradled the hooded sweatshirt in his arms, holding it so the cloth folded over his left arm, looked perfectly natural.
“Fuck. Thanks, Bill.” Jack led Kauri back outside, looking determined and heading straight for his apartment.
"Is he… is he going to tell?" Kauri whispered once they were outside. "H-how far is it to your place? Mr. Owen might hit the button again, I don't want to, to be obvious if he… if he asks me to come back again."
“Nah. Bill’s a good guy, pretty trustworthy. And he owes me some,” Jack shrugged. He snorted softly. “Couple buildings down this way, couple minutes’ walk. You mean when he electrocutes you for fun?”
“H-He doesn’t-” Kauri cut himself off, a look of uncertain worry on his face. “It’s not for fun. I wasn’t supposed to be able to leave him. He, he just… he just misses me, he doesn’t have any other way to say it.”
“Yeah. Sure he does.”
Kauri clutched the sweatshirt closer to his chest, pressing just a little against Jack, like he was reminding himself that Jack was right there, and this was real.
Jack looked to the side at him. Man, at least Cori had never been smart enough to make Reid think he wanted him or cared about keeping him - he just took Reid off the shelf to play with and put him back.
“I was supposed to be, um… I messed up but he didn’t get rid of me, he could have sent me for refurbishment but he didn’t, just r-repair, so… so he just wants me home. I just-... I just don’t want to go home, Jack. Home... he hurts me a lot, now.”
Refurbishment had Jack’s gut twisting. There were so many phantom pains when he thought about that place and Ruby. “So do what you want. Don’t go home,” he shrugged. “I mean, he can’t be exciting to go home to if he’s hurting you when you’re not around. Can’t imagine what he does when you are.”
Actually, he could. Very vividly.
Jack stopped by a building door and bent, took a pair of keys from out of his sock - the only keys he owned. He unlocked the door to the stairwell and led Kauri up. “Make sure that closes behind you. Don’t wanna get any bums hanging around.”
Kauri looked quickly back over his shoulder, as though there might be some of those bums already ready to leap through the second their backs were turned. He pulled the door shut firmly, listened for the loud click as it closed and locked.
Then he turned back, following Jack up quickly, hissing occasionally as it jostled what he was pretty sure was a bruised rib.
"Well, I wasn't supposed to leave. He was nice, b-before I, um, was… incorrect. Aberrant pet," he muttered to himself. "Incorrect mental process. He got mean b-because I, um, he thought I was… looking at another pet."
“Well, they usually start nice. Then there’s… something… and their real self comes out.” Jack looked back over his shoulder, brow raised. “Looking at another pet? What, like you liked another guy?”
"I don’t think we count as guys,” Kauri said, a little confused. “Besides, um, pets don't feel emotional connections. The only individual a pet can develop an emotional bond with is its owner or owners-... You probably learned that, too. S-sorry, it's automatic…"
“Oh...sure. Spent a day arguing with my handler on that one just cause I could,” Jack laughed a little and shrugged. “Emotional connections aren’t... well. Haven’t had many.”
After they were up the first flight, they walked down the hallway. Jack stopped at the third door on the right, tested the knob. All good. He unlocked it and stepped in. The moment he was in, he hung up his jacket in the small closet, beside a denim jacket and a brown leather instead of the black he’d worn tonight. Then he peeled off his crop top, back littered in scars.
Kauri swallowed, watching Jack, and when he pulled his shirt off Kauri’s eyebrows rose, just a little. It’s been days, some part of him piped up, insistent. Kauri shifted uneasily. Owen had stopped caring about whether or not Kauri felt good in bed since he’d come back home from repair, and things had been mostly painful - and now he’d been gone for five days and his body wasn’t used to that any longer…
“Deadbolt the door behind you, set your bag wherever. Your Roomba can do its thing if you want. Shoes off - the floor’s clean and I don’t wanna track dirt everywhere,” he added, going to one knee to untie his work boots. Under his left foot, in the sole of the boot, he pulled out several folded-up hundreds. He stuck those in his jean short pocket. “I’m gonna go stash this and get some clothes on.”
“Uh-huh,” Kauri said, distantly, still sort of thinking about Jack without his shirt on - the absence of a mark inside his left wrist, but also the rest of him, too - as he dropped the backpack to the floor, stepped out of the too-big slides, and let Keira out to sit on the ground. “Her, uh-” His voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. “Her wheels are broken, she doesn’t… clean much now. That’s why he wanted to get rid of her. Um… can I… is there a place I can change, or, or out here, or…?”
Jack walked to his room - the kitchen and eating area, along with a comfortable loveseat and a tv, were all one space. The bathroom and bedroom were both small, separate rooms. “Yeah, bathroom, or out there. Wherever. I see bodies all the time, man, doesn’t bug me.”
Kauri nodded, and thought that if he weren't what he was, he would want to use the bathroom, for privacy.
But he was what he was, and so he peeled the sodden, bloody, ruined blue cashmere off of himself without hesitating further, dropping it with a wet thump into the trash can.
The little circles along his collarbone still glowed faintly, a soft pulsing light. All the new red spots that would blossom into bruises couldn't quite disguise the darker, older marks already there. All his suggestions that Owen didn't hurt him all that badly became an obvious lie when he could see the evidence left since he'd come back from repair.
Kauri had been controlled, but he had proven to Owen he could no longer be trusted, and life had been… worse, since he’d come home, and he could only lie about that as long as no one saw his skin.
He swallowed, peeling his pants off, too, shivering with damp skin in the chilly air as he dug through one of the grocery bags to pull the sweatpants out.
Just as he pulled out the simple black sweatpants, fire lit along his collarbone, racing out through his nerves.
Kauri crumpled naked back to the floor, muscles rigid. He curled into a ball, jamming his hand against the little circles, whining low in his throat at the pain.
Jack had pulled on a pair of thrifted slacks when he heard a soft noise. He paused, listening, and then decided he was imagining it and reached for a shirt.
Along Kauri’s collarbone, the line of metal suddenly turned a bright and brilliant glowing sky blue. “Ow, ow, hurts, h-hurts, ow ow ow-"
On the floor a few feet away the stationary Roomba began to call out in a loud mechanical voice HELP KAURI HELP KAURI HELP KAURI.
Jack was running back at the first cry of pain. The Roomba’s noise made things feel surreal - how could a robot asking for help not be? - but he made it quickly and dropped to his knees.
Jack hesitated, hand hovering over Kauri’s shoulder, worried the current would carry.
Kauri twisted around to look up at him, blue eyes wide and focused on something far beyond him, making a constant helpless low whine in his throat. He reached out to grab Jack's wrist, his fingers shaking, but he gripped on tight.
Jack startled at the quick grasp, but he let Kauri take him.
"P-push, on, on it, h-helps-" Kauri tried to bring Jack's hand over the line of metal. His voice shook with the electrical current, forced out between gritted teeth with a jaw that would barely move, tears standing in his eyes. "Push on th-them-... Ow, I'm, I'm sorry, Oh-Owen, I'm so sorry-"
The Roomba dropped the volume of its voice, but it did not stop repeating its plea.
“Fuck, Kauri, you don’t need to apologize to him,” Jack muttered as Kauri pushed his hand gradually more and more firmly onto the line of metal, brow furrowed with worry. “Fuck this guy.”
The metal was warm to the touch, warmer than Kauri's skin, but as he pushed on it Kauri's locked muscles started slowly to relax.
The pressure did something - Kauri didn't know what - did something to make it hurt less, and Kauri kept his grip on Jack's wrist, breathing hard, still making low hnnnh, hnnnh sounds, tears running from the corners of his eyes towards the ground.
Jack stared at him, teeth set, worry evident as he watched Kauri cry and listened to his pain.
"No, j-just… just a second, he u-usually d-d-doesn't-" There was a tense moment, Kauri's back arching. He gasped as the metal under Jack's hand went suddenly hot.
Finally, Kauri collapsed back onto the floor.
"F-fuck, h-hate when it does this ah, after," he stammered, limbs twitching and jerking with aftershocks. "S-sorry, sorry, d-didn't mean to…"
“When it does what after? When it heats up?” Jack winced but kept the pressure, glad that he’d stupidly snatched food out of a hot frying pan with his fingers often enough to numb the ends a bit. “What didn’t you mean to do, man?”
"A-all of it… t-to, to go, to… " Kauri's voice shook, riding out the way his muscles tried to lock up, until finally he could relax enough to control his own limbs again. "H-he, ah, I j-just, hnnh." He had to concentrate to let go of Jack's wrist, slowly unwinding his fingers, still twitching as he rolled onto his back, grateful for Jack's cool clean floor.
Jack moved slowly when Kauri let go of his wrist, still leaning over him. He gently wiped the tears away from Kauri’s temple with his fingers, then slowly sat back, cross-legged.
Kauri leaned into the touch automatically, without a second thought. His eyes closed, breathing hard, but at least Jack didn’t hurt. "Hnnnh, it's, um… h-hate my voice like this, like th-the Facility… th-think he's going to bed, turned it up for th-th-that… s-s-saying g-goodnight…"
Jack stared, baffled, and shook his head. “Saying what? I definitely don’t like this guy.”
“I d-don’t want to either,” Kaui said, almost dryly, and opened his eyes again to try on a shaky smile. “I’m s-sorry, this… probably isn’t how you pic-pictured a naked tw-twink on your kitchen floor.” His shaky smile widened, just a little. “H-hey, I made a j-j-joke.”
Jack grinned and shook his head, laughing. “Do you hear me com-... complaining?” he almost had to force the word out. Which was fine. He’d force whatever they stopped in him, like he’d forced reading, thinking, saying what he thought. “Oh no, how do I deal with the naked twink on my kitchen floor getting electroshocked? A helpless hot guy in my kitchen, how terrible for me. Seriously, though, we should find a way to get that thing out. Carefully. Fuck him and his goodnights.”
"D-d-doesn't come out. They put it in me at the, when I got repaired. Th-there's a video… ugh." Kauri pushed himself up a little, resting weight on his elbows. The skin around the metal circles was reddened and looked almost like a halo of sunburn, but the glow had gone back to the usual soft blue light.
"S-sorry. I won't… I'll get m-moving tomorrow. Thank you f-for, um, for helping me.”
“Sure, man. You’re welcome to stay, but if you wanna leave tomorrow that’s your decision,” Jack shrugged. He was a bit disappointed, but that was his own to deal with.
Kauri blinked, surprised at the offer to keep staying, and then his eyes dropped back to Jack’s body, before going back up to his eyes. “Hey, c-can I… you said you were a Romantic but y-y-you're all marked up. Did your owner do that?"
Jack laughed awkwardly and rubbed the nape of his neck. “Uh...some of it. They weren’t allowed to shock me when they trained me. Special order bullshit. So they used drugs and pain. And then some of these are from my customers, but nothing major. I was never actually trained for Romantic besides the positions. Already knew what to do for sex. But I’m stubborn like a goat, so... she had her work cut out for her with my Domestics.”
Jack look pretty pleased about that. He was stubborn. They’d changed him, but he’d fought every bit of it… except when he hadn’t. He didn’t think about that. That was Reid, and Reid didn’t belong here.
"I used to be stubborn, too," Kauri said a little wistfully, sitting up fully as the ache finally subsided the rest of the way. "I think so, anyway. I had to be, if I ran away, right? Training's supposed to get rid of it."
Kauri glanced around, searching the floor with his hands, before he found the black sweatpants behind him. Apparently he'd been laying on them the whole time. When he went to pick them up, his fingers twitched and refused to quite close. "Just like the Facility," he muttered. "H-hey, is it okay if, if I need a second? To get dressed? My, my hands are always bad after discipline."
“Yeah, sure,” Jack reached for the pants and set them on Kauri’s lap. If he let his hand linger just a little longer than necessary, Kauri either didn’t notice or didn’t seem to mind. “Let me know if you need a hand. I’ll get the food going. What are you thinking? Pizza?”
Jack had already turned away when Kauri, looking down at the black pants in his lap and with his shoulders still twitching with the occasional mild aftershock, said softly, “Mostly I’m thinking that I’m r-really fucking lucky I met you tonight.”
#whump#electroshock#tw: electroshock implants#tw: abusive relationship#tw: referenced abuse#tw: referenced violence#escaped whumpee#box boy#box boy universe#box boy multiverse#jack#spiffythespook#pet whump#dehumanization#future kauri#erase to control#whumpee#tw: references to prostitution#tw: referenced past noncon
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good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)
deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?
RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)
i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj
LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333
shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?
172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?
oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd
that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj
you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian
nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?
THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.
RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭
can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3
good night! more like ahhah
:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?
ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)
legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.
i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.
oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??
I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?
they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?
FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)
ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~
AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs
she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~
it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..
<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩
eager for your response <33 love, c.r.
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✧･ﾟ( khione + kaylee bryant + cisfemale ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( eleanora “ella” duponte ) around ? ( she ) has been in kaos for ( six months ). the ( twenty two year old ) is a/an ( unemployed ) from ( ontario, canada ). people say they can be ( fierce ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( cunning ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( the numbness in your fingertips when touching ice, frost patterns along a rose petal, & the warmth of hot chocolate on a winter morning ).
I ALSO MADE A PINTEREST HERE IT ISSSSSS click here
hi usually i have a pretty intro graphic but ya girl is feeling ultra lazy today and photoshop is being a big bitch and so i just ... decided to use a little gif that truly encompasses ella as a person EIRUFLKND
BUT ANYWAYS hey it’s me again, lou, i also play julietta and i am soooo excited to be introducing this baby to you all !! i’m gonna be frank, she’s not the easiest to get along with ?? i kinda based her a little bit off of how khione was in the pjo books but Less Evil and Less Messy if that makes sense ?? she’s just really blunt and kinda sorta rude and very much the queen of RBF. below is a bio i wrote in second person -- it’s pretty long so u dont have to read it if u dont want to i promise it wont hurt my feelings ill be happy to give u a tldr if u want me to.
i hope u enjoy my baby ,, pls dont be afraid to plot with her i promise she may seem like a meanie but she rlly does have the Capability to be nice ,,, she’s just forgotten how ,,
on december 25th, in the year 1997, you made your way into the world in the midst of the coldest night ontario had faced in months. your parents, evelyn and nathaniel duponte, had prayed and prayed for a baby girl for years. years and years and years of trying and trying and trying until eventually, they had given up. and it was only when they’d given up that you came to be.
as a child, you were nothing short of the brightest light in the house. your smile was enough to brighten even the darkest of hearts, your laughter sweeter than even the daintiest christmas bells. you were a dream child – that is, until they stole your light. and how did the do that, you ask ? well, this is truly where our story begins …
no one is entirely sure when the passion blossomed, but some rumor it to have started on your fourth birthday. your mother and father thought that a fun trip to an ice skating rink would make for a good present, and much to their surprise, you were a natural. it was as if you were born specifically for the ice. one step into the rink and off you went, able to hold yourself upright and balanced even at such a young age. a prodigy, they said. absolutely incredible, they praised. you left that evening with a new pair of skates and weekly lessons scheduled into your routine.
after two months of lessons, they went from weekly to three times a week. and then every day. before you really knew what was happening, you were spending every second of your life at the ice rink, honing in your skills. this talent that you possessed was going to get you far in life, your coach had said. what he didn’t seem to realize was the monster that it would awaken within your mother. it was gradual, at first. a slow trickle. one day she was more proud of you than any parent ever could, and then a week later she was subtly criticizing your technique. and then she was restricting you from going out with friends, saying that practice was far more important. and then she was pointing out every single flaw that you had, and harshly at that. pretty soon, the joy in your eyes winked out, the warmth in your chest icing over entirely. if a machine was what she wanted for a daughter, a machine was what she would get.
competitions came and went, gold medals were secured, and you were on a fast track to competing in the olympics. your once bright and bubbly personality had since faded into one of cold and cunning, of ice and harsh. you only ever smiled when you won. your mother was no longer the nurturing woman you remembered. your father allowed her to treat you like her own personal doll. you began to fold within yourself until you were nothing but a frozen front, a heart iced completely with no chance of thaw.
your first olympics were terrifying. but you persevered, and came home with the gold for your division. a landslide win, they’d called it. rookie sensation, they deemed you. the praise went right to your head, and the arrogance bloomed in your chest. you knew just how good you were, and didn’t let anyone tell you differently. four years later, you competed again, and yet another gold. a two time olympic champion, a national ranking – what more could you need ?
and then you saw the zillow ad for a nice house on a small island called kaos. for the first time in forever, something besides ice caught your attention. it was an impulse decision, and a quick move. she waited until both of her parents were out of the house to have all of her things collected, and just like that, she was gone. vanished. no word as to where she was going other than a note that read ‘see you whenever.’ it’s been six months since then, and she has no plans on leaving kaos anytime soon.
iii. details.
she is not very nice ,,,
she also comes from a fuckload of money. very high society.
is a world ranked figure skater
has won two olympic gold medals
her favorite color is champagne ( shes so boujee i hate her )
always has very manicured nails
honestly the best way i can describe her is like
blair waldorf except not whiny ??? very much a “i’m important and idc what you say about it” vibe
definitely lives in designer clothing
used to be very artistic and was actually fantastic at painting and drawing and sculpting but then her mom was like “its a distraction no more for u”
she really …. doesn’t know how to have fun anymore ??
MAAAAAJOR slytherin vibes. like major. very ambitious and cunning and will do anything to get to where she wants to be
like she doesn’t care who she has to go through
and she also doesn’t care who’s feelings she hurts
has a maine coon named fluffernutter ,,, because he is white and brown and reminded her of the sandwich. however she commonly refers to him as fluff and refuses 2 tell anyone his actual name
wears only one piece of jewelry and it is a silver necklace with a locked heart pendant ( this is absolutely symbolism thnx )
does not have a job because she does not need a job
really likes the luxurious lifestyle
definitely owns a rolex
really just … doesn’t care abt anything
someone thaw her out pls & thank u
iii. wanted plots !!! im also super duper open to brainstorming things of our own ! these are just ideas !!!
1. the former best friend - this is someone that she spent a good majority of her time with before her mother limited interactions with people. they did everything together, whether it be watching a movie or trying to see how long they can get away with hiding in a grocery store after they close. it’s been nearly four years since they’ve spoken, and this might be one of the only people to bring a genuine reaction out of her.
2. the almost, the maybe, the “there’s something there” - they met recently. or maybe they met awhile ago. could work either way. this person was almost successful in attempting to worm their way into her heart. almost, however, is the key word in that statement. having gone so long without genuine human interaction outside of her sport, she hadn’t realized just how much she had longed for a friend. and then, she suddenly liked them as more then a friend, and that was when ella cut off everything. she’ll never admit it, but the idea of building a connection with someone terrified her.
3. the rival - oh, these two do not like each other. the why is something that can be discussed, but just know that there was some sort of altercation that led to the level of dislike between the two of them. could it possibly change ?? maybe so. i’d actually like to see how that pans out. however, as of right now, the most they do is snipe at one another mercilessly
#kaos:intro#❝ ☾ chronicles → ella duponte !#❝ ☾ start → ella duponte !#❝ ☾ silhouette → ella duponte !#❝ ☾ you should know my blood runs cold as ice . → ella duponte !#❝ ☾ questionnaire → ella duponte !#❝ ☾ past life → ella duponte !
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Sorry for this post but i was looking up cherokee ppl to find references to draw piper w features that aren’t white & i got sucked down the google rabbit hole. kept clicking different pictures and found this:
It wasn’t even buried that deep. and there were a bunch more like this, not even including the pics that appeared when i added women onto my searches. the amount of cultural appropriation and fetishization was fucking disgusting. what the fuck.
so when i see this shit. the amount of ungodly RAGE this creates in me to the point where my blood is fucking BOILING and i’m prepared and eager to fucking STAB A BITCH is among levels HIGHER THAN ANY POWER ON EARTH. i have no connection to any native cultures or identities but you can’t tell me this doesn’t ignite extreme fucking FURY or at least ANGER when you see this shit.
like i’m extremely white and i’m not trying to be like “oh look at me :) i’m a good ally bc i make posts abt racism uwu”. im not trying to do that but pls tell me if i come across that way or if this post has anything else abt it that’s ignorant or problematic, bc i’m rly not educated on native issues at all besides a couple things i very vaguely know about. but i just wanted to call more attention to this.
i’m about to fucking roundhouse kick a motherfucker into the upper atmosphere. im fucking pissed. but i’m white and uneducated in native struggles/modern politics/issues in general and i don’t want y’all to listen to me on this. i want y’all to listen to actual native ppl and boost their voices. that being said, i don’t know a lot of blogs run by actual indigenous ppl. which is also partly why i’m making this post, bc i’m saying y’all need to know about this, but like. i need to know abt this too. cuz i don’t know shit, and that’s bad.
(side note, there was one AWESOME blog i remember who made FANTASTIC piper mclean fanart. idk what happened to them, but when i click on their icon i get nothing, just a popup that says there was an error accessing the blog. idk if they got deactivated or something, idk what happened at all but uh. that blog is gone and i’m lowkey devastated. their url used to be pipersgay, so if any of y’all know where they went please lmk bc i miss them)
tangents aside, if anyone knows any blogs run by indigenous ppl, especially blogs w info abt native struggles & modern politics/racism/native issues in general, pls let me know and/or reblog this post w/ the urls of their blogs. i tried to look up blogs myself but i don’t even know enough abt native culture/issues to know what blogs r legit unless it’s blatantly obvious, and i don’t wanna direct ppl to false/biased/outdated information. but i do want to raise awareness. and like. i also desperately need to learn abt this bc again, i know next to nothing except for the fact that there’s a lot of shit going down that’s extremely fucked up & probably being silenced by the media (whether it be by no coverage or by straight up lies/bias/etc.)
TLDR: PLEASE HELP ME AND OTHERS STAY INFORMED ABOUT CURRENT NATIVE STRUGGLES, SEND ME AN ASK AND/OR REBLOG THIS POST WITH URLS OF BLOGS RUN BY ACTUAL NATIVE PPL IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO SO.
#racism#stereotypes#whitewashing#native american stereotypes#native issues#native#indigenous#indigenous issues#media silence#native rights#indigenous peoples#cultural appropriation#first people#native american#indigenous australians#indigenous americans#indigenous activism#current issues#awareness#racism awareness#ignorance#ignorance in native issues#modern native issues#current news#please help!!! its not your job of course but if you can pls consider helping!!!!#aboriginal people#culture survival#piper mclean#rick riordan#racial injustice
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