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tillthelandslide · 11 months

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Insufferable Arsehole Part 7: All I Need To Hear

a/n: okay i actually really love this chapter (it might be my fave so far) ... ready for some cuteness between lou and matty and some protectiveness from the boys? i sure hope so. hope you enjoy it

Warnings: smut, fluff, spelling/grammar mistakes

IA Masterlist

Part 6

Minors DNI

Lou was sat on the front of the stage, her legs dangling over the side, her guitar rested in her lap and her notebook was sat by her side, the edges were frayed and ink was spilled on the surface. By every sense of the word, it was worn; beaten up and used. She loved it nonetheless and took it everywhere with her, it was quite a thick notebook, stuffed to the brim with songs of course, but also pictures she had taken (of her loved ones, her fans, strangers, nature, everything you can imagine), fun things she had found like flowers that she pressed to preserve, receipts from places she had visited, small mementos people had given her: it was all apart of her creative process.

She had several like it back home, but nothing made her happier knowing that this notebook was also filled with Matty now, Polaroid's she had taken of him throughout their time together, making up for the years where he wasn't present.

A pen rested between her teeth as she strummed and hummed, she occasionally stopped to write something down before playing again.

Matty was watching intently at the side of the stage, listening to how her voice somehow filled the empty venue, despite it being huge and her not having a microphone. He was enamored with her, well and truly infatuated. He loved how she used notebooks too, not opting to write it on her phone like some people, she found it easier to write this way and so did he, the words flowed out of them easily.

"And I'm, on, my way to believing" she sings, liking the words so writing them down, nearly finished and happy with the song she was writing.

"Can feel you staring y'know" her voice catches his attention then, she didn't look at him as she spoke, too heavily focused on what she was doing. He feels like a child who was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, his cheeks flush and he looks down at his feet.

"You can join me if you want..." She says, turning her head to look at him now, his heart pounds twice as hard and three times as fast as her soft eyes find his, as her lips prick up into a smile upon seeing him. He can't help but smile at the way she pats the spot next to her, it was cute.

He was wearing a hoodie which was a size or two too big for him, black jeans and his hair was slightly askew on his head. She liked him best like this, this was her Matty, not the persona he had created for stage, or interviews or online. This was just Matthew Timothy Healy, the boy she grew up with that she hated for most of her life, who had turned into one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

The boy she hated felt like a distant memory now, she doesn't know how long it's been since he confessed his feelings but she truly doesn't care. Every bad memory she had of him was overwritten by a wonderful one, ones that made her heart flutter and butterflies swarm her stomach.

She realises as he walks to her that he's not wearing shoes, his feet clad in a pair of black socks, making his footsteps that much lighter. His movements are slow and fragile, not wanting to disturb her thought process. He truly can't even believe she's letting him witness this, he finds it quite intimate, watching someone write.

He doesn't speak for a few minutes, just listening to her, watching her intently as she plays a few chords, then jots them down in her notebook, singing beautiful words, before she's scribbling them down.

"Sounds beautiful darling" he says, quietly, needing to tell her his opinion but not wanting to interrupt her.

"Thank you Matty" she says, still not looking at him.

"I can leave if you need to be alone" he says and she looks at him then, frown resting on her face.

"Hey no. It's okay. Don't leave. Quite like having you here" she says, her words rushed and panicked.

"Okay I'll stay" he says, leaning forward to place a peck to her cheek, awkwardly moving around the guitar.

He doesn't quite know what to do when she doesn't continue writing or playing. She's just staring at him, before she puts her guitar down next to her.

She leans her head onto his shoulder, looking out at the venue. She used to dream about playing venues like this when she was a kid, when they were just kids playing in George's garage.

When her own band started selling out venues similar sizes to the one they were at, sometimes bigger, she couldn't quite believe it, she suffered with imposter syndrome for many years during the beginning of her career. But something about this, playing with the four guys she loved most in the world (and becoming friends with some of the best people she had met including Jamie Squire, John, Carly and Polly) ... It was different.

But recently, she felt unbelievably guilty for being so happy here, the idea was ridiculous. She missed her band, but was also having the time of her life with the guys. She believed that if her own band knew how she was feeling now, the happiest she had ever been and unbelievably in love; they would maybe feel jealous and Lou felt guilty because of that.

"Are you okay, love?" He asks, voice still quiet, scanning her features, trying to work out how she was feeling.

"I... Um" she hesitates, she moves herself from his shoulder then, looking at him. Her thoughts are clouded with all the negative things she's been pushing down recently: the fact that she had been receiving an influx of hate recently, the fact she was missing her band and her family, the fact she was feeling a little lost, if not momentarily.

He sees the tears prick at her eyes and he's quick to pull her into his arms, lips pressing against the side of her head, into her hair, trying to soothe her. He realises this is the first time he's ever seen her cry and the sight cracks open his heart.

"Hey darling it's okay, I'm here" and truly that's all she needs to hear to stop her tears from falling.

"Talk to me" he says after a beat. He feels bad that he can't help but feels grateful that he's the one experiencing this for a change. Usually George or Ross would be in his place right now... Sometimes even Hann. But for once he got to have her like this and that thought (although selfish) was everything to him.

"I miss my bandmates..." She admits (only scratching the surface of what was really wrong) and the confession pangs at his heart for a bit.

"Are you not enjoying yourself anymore?" He asks and she moves to look at him.

"No... No it's not that. I- I miss them. But I feel guilty more than anything" she admits and he knows not to talk, to just listen, because that's what she needed at that moment.

"I feel guilty because I'm with you guys, having the best time. And they keep asking if I'm coming back and... I can't help but feel like I don't want to. I don't want this to end because it's been perfect. We haven't even been on tour that long but it's the best" she says, sniffling as more tears threaten to fall.

"But they know you're needed for the whole tour right?" He asks and she nods.

"Truth is I don't ever want to leave you guys... You've all made me feel... The most alive I've ever felt in my life... Especially you Matty" she admits and his breath falters at her words.

He made her feel alive. He doesn't quite know what to do with that yet but he'll unpack that idea when he's alone. For now this was about her and giving her a safe space to speak.

"I loved being on tour with them, don't get me wrong. I love our fans and our songs and... They're my best friends, you know... It was fun... But... You guys feel like family... When I'm with you... When I'm on that stage with you all, I feel like everything is going to be alright" she explains and he nods. He truly felt that too, even before she started helping them out on this tour. He admits that it's gotten better since she's joined and the thought that one day she has to leave, it truly pains him.

"You know you're a part of this family now. Always have been really. That's never going to go away love" he says and she knows his words are true.

"And if they truly love and care about you they'll understand how you're feeling," he says.

"I can't stay here forever though Matty. Eventually Carly will be back, where she's supposed to be, and I'll be on the opposite side of the world to you guys" she says and again the thought pains him.

"Unfortunately we can't change that love. I know that's a sucky thing to say but we can't. We just have to make this time we all have together, count" he says and she nods, knowing he's right.

"You're right," she says.

"We will continue to play the shows, we will spend every waking moment with each other. And I... I'll shower you with love every day... And when the time comes to say goodbye... Maybe it won't hurt as much, yeah?" He says, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Yeah" she nods, feeling slightly better now, although she knows the more time they spend together, the more it will hurt to say goodbye. But she can't think about that now. So she decides to live in the moment, with the man she was falling in love with and her three best friends.

----------------------------------------------------------

A day off on tour was infrequent to say the least, but today they had one. They often wouldn't have time to actually do anything, they would either be too tired to wander the streets of whatever city or town they were in, or Jamie would be worried about them getting swarmed by fans. But yesterday, they had arrived at the city fairly undetected due to their flight arriving late at night. So with much persuasion from all of the band, Jamie was letting them explore today.

Lou couldn't control her excitement, so woke at 7am, she knew Hann might be up but the rest of the band would likely be asleep still. She slipped out of bed, hearing a groan from Matty, who's hand slipped from around her waist. Despite his groan, he didn't wake and Lou sighed thankfully.

She took a long, peaceful shower before slipping on a pair of jeans and a white crop, she smiled to herself as she applied some makeup, the "M" necklace dangling in front of her chest.

She slipped out of their hotel room, trying her best not to wake Matty. Their rooms in this particular hotel were all connected, she swore Jamie did it just to force Lou and Matty to shut up for a day or two (not that it stopped them). Each bedroom was connected to a large room in the middle, where there were large leather sofas and a small kitchen hidden in the corner. She spotted Hann sitting at the island there, reading a newspaper as he drank coffee from his mug.

He looked up from what he was reading, offering her a smile as she walked closer to him.

"Good morning sunshine" she says, her voice still quiet, too early to be louder yet.

"Sleep well?" he asks, already grabbing a mug and pouring her a coffee as she comes to sit next to him on the island. She nods at him and he smiles. Her eyes find the paper he's reading, seeing their faces sprawled out across the front cover, smiling at the group picture that was taken of them.

"What are they saying about us this time? Any slander?" she asks and he chuckles, eyes wandering over the paper.

"It's quite nice actually, makes a change really" and she nods at his words, taking a sip from the coffee, nice but not as good as the ones Matty makes for her she thinks.

"There's a lot of questions about you and Matty though Lou" he says, a hint of worry detectable in his voice.

"Yeah..." her voice trails off "been seeing a lot of articles come up on my phone too... People tweeting me too" she says and he looks at her then, trying to sense what she's feeling.

"You know you don't have to tell anyone what you are right??" Hann says and she nods at his words.

"Can't help but wonder if we're doing the right thing" she says, knowing he is exactly the right person to talk to about this. Hann will always tell her how it is.

"What do you mean love?" he asks, needing some more information before he gives his insight.

"No matter what we do... people are going to hate us... some people anyway. If we tell people the truth, that we're just having fun, enjoying time together, figuring out whatever this is... then they might hate us... if we carry on doing what we're doing, not confirming it but not denying it either... people are going to continue to say we're being unfair... not telling our fans the truth" she says and he nods.

"He makes you happy right?" he asks and she nods again.

"And I know for a fact that you make him happy. When you're with each other, does any of it matter? What people might think or say?" he asks and she shakes her head"no ".

"So agree you'll deal with the consequences together, either way, whatever you choose" he says and she leans on his shoulder.

"Thank you" she says and he briefly grasps her hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

"You've been there for me with all the Carly stuff in the old days, only returning the favor" he says, but they both know it's more than that. The whole group would do anything for each other, they'd die for each other if they had to.

"What would I do without you Adam Hann?" she asks and he chuckles.

"Probably let George, Ross and Matty delude you into thinking the sun shines from your arse" he jokes and they both can't help but howl at how funny they find it. They hear two doors open after that, each revealing a grumpy band member: Ross and George.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Ross says and he says the two of them laughing.

"I know you can't be laughing at Hann, he really is not that funny" George says, the next to join them, placing a soft kiss atop her head. George's eyes drift to hers, searching around her as if she was missing a limb.

"Where's the grump?" George said, a nickname they had given Matty because he was definitely not a morning person.

"Sleeping" she says, a smile creeping its way up onto her face, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

"Oh look at you" he says, gripping the apples of her cheeks.

"Shut up" she says, shoving him.

"Well I'm not waking him up" Ross says as he plonks down on a sofa behind them. She sees John leave his room, coming to sit with Ross and before she knows it George is leaving her to join them too.

She stands, hugging Hann quickly to say thank you before she grabs another mug, pouring a coffee for Matty before standing up and walking to their room.

"Please for the love of god dont have sex whilst we're all awake" she hears George shout and she laughs.

"Wouldn't be the first time George" she shouts back, hearing him groan as the others laugh.

She slowly opens the door to their room, eyes flinching as she sees him stir in his sleep at the light that makes its way into the room.

She moves leisurely across the room, not wanting to suddenly wake him. She carefully places the coffee cup on his bedside table. Kneeling next to his side of the bed, her fingers drift across his hair, pushing the curls away from his face so she can see him better.

Sleep is etched across his features, his eyebrows furrowed almost in a frown so she places a soft kiss there, careful not to wake him yet.

His soft snores continue to fill the room and she smiles, she doesn't quite want to wake him, he just looked so darn peaceful.

"Matty" she says his name softly, accompanying her words with a kiss to his cheek making him stir. She repeats his name again, placing another kiss to his lips this time.

"Hmm" he mumbles, the kiss awakening him, out of instinct they press firmer against hers and his hand is quick to grab the back of her head, not letting her go just yet. She laughs against his mouth and he smiles, breaking their lips for a few seconds before they're back on hers.

"Morning" he grumbles, his morning voice awakening something inside her, like it always does.

"I made you coffee" she says, trying to distract herself from the feelings his voice draws out of her.

"Mhmm" he says, pulling her up from her knees and grabbing her so she falls on top of him.

"Now isn't that so much better?" he says, voice deep, the vibrations resonating in her chest.

"Matty we have to get going, everyone else is up" she says.

"Mhmm, everyone is up" he says, his words having a completely different meaning to them, and she knows exactly what he means as he raises his hips up to hers. She can feel him hard and heavy beneath her and her breath becomes bated at the feel of him, looking down at him she sees the all too famous smirk resting on his lips as his usual dark eyes are blown wide.

"Someone's definitely awake now" she says and he flips them, making her chuckle.

"Had a dream about you" he says as he smears his lips against hers, she tastes like coffee and he groans at the taste.

"Clearly" she mumbles against his mouth, making him chuckle.

They're abruptly disturbed by a loud knock on their door.

"What!" Matty shouts, making her chuckle.

"We have plans, remember!" they hear George say and Matty groans as Lou pulls away from him.

"He's right. Come on" she says, pressing against his chest to slip out from underneath him before tugging him upwards, out of the bed.

"You can sort that out in the shower" she says, gesturing to his erection.

"You will be the death of me" he confirms with a firm kiss to her mouth, one that completely knocks the air from her entire body, especially when his tongue aggressively presses against hers. He leaves her after that, stunned and a little bit (or a lot) turned on.

She returned to the others in the larger room, sitting by herself as they were wrapped up in some conversation she had no interest in partaking in, something about football.

She found herself scrolling on Instagram, interacting with fans who had commented on her recent uploads, a few of which were of Matty. She couldn't help but read some of the negative ones too, and suddenly she was in a deep trance, reading negative comment after negative comment. A few people were calling her a "slag" or "slut" and it did make her chuckle but also made her stomach churn. She has always had this desire to be liked, and when people didn't like her, she hated it.

She hadn't realised how long she had been scrolling but suddenly Matty was standing in front of her, his shadow casting over her features, but even that didn't make her eyes leave her phone.

He called her name: no reply. It wasn't until he was pressing his fingers against her chin lightly that she looked up at him.

"Ready to go love?" He asks, his features soft as he looks down at her, thumb gently running along the apple of her cheek, feeling like something wasn't quite right.

She tries her hardest to push the thoughts away, and does so quite successfully. She nods up at him, taking his hand as she stands.

"So I think John, Hann and I are going to go to this record store" Ross explains and Lou, Matty and George nod. Jamie, Jamie (manager) and Polly agree to stay at the hotel, needing some alone time.

"We can meet somewhere throughout the day? I'll call you" He asks as he pulls her to his chest, hugging her tightly, before hugging the others. She quickly hugs Hann and John, saying their goodbyes.

Lou, George and Matty decide to go to a local park, walking along in the sunshine, talking about all sorts. They pick up an ice cream each along the way, each trying each other's flavors. Matty walks with his arm hung over Lou's shoulders and she takes pictures of them throughout the day.

A couple of fans notice them and kindly (and quietly) ask them for photos which they accept. They appreciate that they don't draw attention to them, letting them enjoy their day off in peace.

They continue walking along the park, stopping to look at the trees, to guess what type it was (as if any of them had a clue), Lou would often stop at different flowers, naughtily plucking a few and begging Matty to let her weave it into his hair.

"Stop being a pest" he chuckles as he attempts to push her hands away from his hair.

"C'mon Matty! You'd look adorable... Please" she pleads with a pout on her lips. Matty has to seriously resist the urge to place his mouth against hers to remove the pout.

"C'mon G help me out here" she says and George holds his hands up.

"I'm not helping you with anything" he says and she frowns.

"You're both boring old men now" she says, Matty and George share a look as mischief clouds their features. They both set their eyes on her and she knows she's screwed. They both run towards her, George picking her up off the ground by her waist, Matty quickly finds her sides, tickling her. She squirms in her best friend's arms and all three of them laugh way too loudly.

A few onlookers scowl at them as they walk past making them chuckle as she's set back on the floor.

"Miserable fuckers" George's says as they laugh. They continue their walk along the park together, eventually wandering off into town to meet the boys in a coffee shop Ross had told them to meet them at.

He had popped a heads up in their group chat (a new feature for their group) that a group of fans was crowding outside, not too many, about 4 or 5. He said they seemed nice enough and said they're hellos and then let them enter the shop.

Lou found herself getting nervous the closer they got to the coffee shop, what if they hated her? What if they were amongst the few that had started to post mean things on social media?

George seems to sense something is wrong and hooks his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. They see the group that Ross had texted them about, she spotted almost instantly the daggers they were shooting her way.

George's hand nearly slips from hers and she's quick to whisper "please don't let me go" to him, he doesn't need to be told twice, placing his hand firmly in hers.

The group are quick to say hello to Matty, pulling him in for hugs and pictures. George gives Lou a look as they look at him and she nods, letting go of his hand reluctantly. She awkwardly stands there, getting the sense they didn't want to say hello to her. They quickly took photos with George before they were saying goodbye.

George comes to stand next to her again, placing his hand back in hers and walking behind Matty into the shop.

He takes a step into the shop, door open, leaving Lou to still be out the door. They both hear the fans' words at the same time and she flinches as she sees the look on George's face.

"See you've moved onto George now... What a slag" one of them says as the others laugh meanly, it felt like she was back in high school. Although online comments hurt, she was quite good at distracting herself from it all, but in person was a whole new kettle of fish: it was completely unavoidable.

"G just leave it" she says, looking up at him silently begging him not to step back outside.

"They can't say shit like that to you" he says, voice loud enough for them to hear.

"It's fine G really. Let's just go inside" she says.

Matty hadn't noticed the two had stopped in the doorway so he proceeded to sit down with the other boys.

"What's going on with them?" Hann asks and Matty shrugs his shoulders.

"The fans probably wanted to say something else" Matty says, not knowing what had happened. If he did he would've been straight out there, telling them exactly what he thought of their mean words.

"Please G, drop it" she says, hearing them say more stuff behind them, things about how Matty's ex's were prettier than her, how she 'wasn't even that good' and how they could've got someone better to replace Carly.

He sees tears spring to her eyes and instantly steps into the threshold. He begins to say something to her as the door shuts but she interrupts him.

"I don't want to talk about it" she says as she moves to the table the guys are sitting at.

"Well I fucking do" George says, his voice raised, drawing all their attention to the lanky lad as he plonks himself down, arm wrapping round the back of her chair in defense, as if it would protect her. The waitress comes over and asks them what they'd like to drink.

"Latte please" she says weakly. The waitress looks at George who doesn't meet her eyes, making her awkwardly walk away.

"Care to explain what's going on?" Ross says, getting completely ignored by the both of them. Matty's eyes flick between the both of them, utterly lost.

"You say you don't want to talk about it as if that's not the first time that's happened" George says, she can't look at him because she knows exactly how he'd look.

Pupils blown wide in anger, facial features furrowed and the vein on his neck would be popping out. She knew the look all too well, having seen it on many occasions in the past, most of them when she had broken up with someone or someone had treated her badly: just like this occasion.

Matty looks at his best friend, seeing a look on his face that worried him, one which he rarely saw.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Matty then asks, and she looks at him, seeing how worried he looks, he sees the remnants of tears in her eyes and his hand quickly finds hers under the table, squeezing it tightly in his own. God she was thankful for him right now.

"Those fucking 'fans'" George says, fingers raising in the air to punctuate the word fans "said shit about Lou okay? And I get the impression it's not the first time"

They're all looking at her now, anger sketched across every single one of their features, even John looked angry and she didn't think that was possible. He was practically a walking marshmallow.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Doesn't change anything" she says simply, trying not to get upset.

"Yes it fucking does" George says, his eyes softening as she flinches slightly, he places his arm on her shoulder, softly squeezing as if to say sorry.

"Alright George calm down, she doesn't need that right now" Matty says, usually that would be something Ross would say but she's so thankful it's him this time.

"Sorry I'm annoyed" he says, arms crossing as he huffs.

"We all are mate, but it's not exactly helpful is it?" Ross says.

"What have they been saying Lou?" Adam says, his words carefully spoken as not to press too much.

"Just silly comments about me being a slag. It's fine honestly"

"That is not fine" it's Matty who is talking now and she looks at him and frowns.

"Love they have no right saying shit like that" he then says, squeezing her hand again. The waitress brings over her coffee awkwardly, not wanting to disturb the heated discussion.

"There's nothing I can do about it. They think what they think and it's fine" she lies, eyes drifting down to her and Mattys intertwined hands, before looking at Matty, who was silently begging her to just tell the truth, sympathising with the fact she felt she had to lie to them.

"What did the ones out there say?" Ross points to the window, the people who were there now gone, which he's thankful for because he was one word from going out there and shouting at them.

"They said something about me moving onto George and then called me a slag" she says, looking down at her coffee cup, fiddling with the china.

"Moving on to G- Oh" Matty says, eyes finding hers again, eyebrows furrowing to say sorry, he shakes his head, letting her know she has nothing to say sorry for.

"I was just holding her hand" George explains, making the rest nod "That's why you needed that didn't you? You were worried they were going to say something" he asks and she nods at him.

"How long has this been happening?" John asks.

"A while...." She admits and in unison they all sigh.

"Love, why didn't you tell us? We would've-" Matty starts.

"Would've done what Matty? There's nothing you can do" she says, voice breaking slightly.

"We would've at least known Lou. We go through these things together, that's what family is'' Ross explains and she lets a rogue tear fall. She suddenly feels embarrassed that they're having this coffee in the middle of a random coffee shop (albeit an empty one with one waitress but still)

"I'm sorry" she says, her voice frail.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Matty says, and she's the one squeezing his hand now.

"We will get through this together, if this happens again, you come to us and you tell us okay? Any one of us" Adam says and she nods.

They were a family after all.

They finish their drinks after that, they all stand from their chairs, slipping their jackets on.

"Think we're going to head back" Ross says and a few of the others nod. Matty and Lou share a look, explaining that they wanted to keep exploring and so they do. Ross is the first to pull her into a tight hug, only letting her go when her grip on him loosened. Adam is the next to squeeze her into his arms, his hand drifting along her back in a soothing motion.

George hugs her tightly next, whispering an "id kill anyone who would hurt you, you know that" and she smiles and nods as she pulls away. John gives a quick hug before they're all being ushered out by Matty, who secretly wanted nothing more to comfort her on his own now.

They continued walking along random paths, down streets that had little shops and stalls, popping into a few to see what they were selling.

At some point, Matty's hand brushes against hers and she grabs it, he looks down at their intertwined hands, a smile on his face.

"You sure?" He says, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"We'll deal with the consequences together, yeah?" She asks and he nods, bringing their hands up to his mouth and pecking the surface of hers.

"Then I'm sure," she confirms. They walk around the rest of the day like that, eventually finding their way back to the hotel.

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They briefly wait outside the hotel, sharing a cigarette between them and sharing a few tight hugs, ones that let Lou know Matty had her. Before they're hiding away in their room because Matty can sense that she needs to be alone (with him of course).

She finds a comfortable position on his chest as his arms wrap around her, keeping her warm and safe. Usually listening to someone's heartbeat would make her anxious, something about the rhythm impacting her own, but she felt grateful to hear his. She felt like it made her know him more, it was intimate, hearing when it picked up or slowed down, when it skipped a beat: it was like his own symphony and she was just fascinated by it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice something was up” he says, frowning down at her, she simply shakes her head and presses a peck to his mouth, letting him know it was okay.

"Tell me what other people have said" he says softly, his fingertips flowing through her hair, the soft strands easily gliding in-between his fingers.

"I can't Matty it hurts too much" she admits now it's just them. She doesn't have to lie around him, or pretend she's fine when she's not. She can just be.

"I know love, I know. But talking about it might help" he says and she's turning in his arms then, looking over his features. He truly was a very handsome man, she never once questioned why fans fancied him so much. She lets out a deep sigh before she starts talking.

"Couple of people have said you guys could have hired someone better to replace Carly" he scoffs at that, placing a kiss against her cheek as he murmurs "there is no one better". One of the cracks in her heart heals at those words. She wants to tell him the one that hurts the most but she's scared: scared he'll confirm her worries, reject her thoughts and feelings (like so many had done previously).

She sighs deeply again, shutting her eyes as she says "someone... A few people actually… have said your ex's were prettier than me... Nicer... Better for you" she admits, her last admission is the one that destroys her. He's silent for way too long and her eyes snap open to see him.

She's rarely seen him look upset but God he looks upset now. His lips are set in a clear pout, the bottom one almost wavering as he sets his eyes over her features, his eyes almost glisten, he's not crying, but his eyes are like glass, tears almost threatening to spring.

"Lovie" he says, frowning down at her, she's trying to sense what he's thinking but falls short. What she would do to crawl inside his mind now.

"Want to know the truth?" He asks and she nods.

"Always" she says, partly worried she wouldn't like what he has to say.

"I compared every single one of them to you... It wasn't fair... Not on them because some, most of them were lovely. I never ever, not once, gave myself to someone fully... I looked for you in everyone. You made it pretty hard to be honest..." He admits laughing at his own confession and she doesn't know what to say. Another confession that shocks her to her core.

Her mouth opens before it's shutting again.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know. Know that you, you are everything I have ever wanted and nothing came close to you. I'm never letting you go. You are living up to every single one of my expectations, superseding them even" he says. All she can do is press her mouth to his, letting him know everything she couldn't bring herself to say.

I love you, you're my person, no one has come close to you either, this is the best thing that has happened to me....

She knows one day she'll tell him but for now, she presses her lips to his, moving herself so her legs are resting either side of his body. His hands find her hips as his back leaves the bed, holding her against him as she straddles him.

She breaks away from him for a split second, removing her top, his eyes don't break from hers, not even to look at her chest which is now revealed. His stare is intense, one that would usually make her confidence falter, make her doubt herself, but now, basking in his light, she felt safe, seen. His stare tells her what he thinks of her, utterly obsessed and addicted.

He bridges the gap between their lips again, moving downwards after a few minutes of loving pecks. His lips find her neck, scattering loving kisses along the skin, just simple but firm pecks.

"You're beautiful" he says as he delivers a kiss to her collar bone. Hands drifting from her hips to her waist, taking his time with her, something that was yet to happen.

Everything so far between them had been rushed, each of them desperate to show each other their desire, their passion, their need for one another.

She wasn't scared this time, she was ready to have him in this way. To show each other they loved each other even if they couldn't bring themselves to say it.

His mouth finds the swell of her right breast, hovering over the warm flesh, lips coming down to press firm kisses to the skin. Her hands find the curls at the nape of his neck, playing with strands gently.

His breath is shallow, mind toying with the idea of undoing her jeans, but not wanting to rush the moment. She looks so perfect, sitting in his lap, her jean clad core flush against his. She felt him through her jeans, already solid and desperate for her.

"I'm so lucky" he murmurs against her chest as his hands find the clasp of her bra. His movements are far too slow for her liking, almost painfully so.

"Matty" she sighs as her bra finally comes undone, crumbling into his hands. He discards it somewhere unseen as his calloused fingertips toy with her flesh. His touch is gentle, barely there, but still manages to send shock waves of pleasure coursing through her entire body.

His fingertips delicately move across her nipples, making them pebble under his touch. She has never had anyone be this gentle with her before and it was the least she was expecting from a man like Matty. But he was always one to surprise her, everything she had learned about him so far had been a pleasant surprise, this perhaps her favourite of all. He would usually struggle to be this way with someone, but with her it almost came naturally to him, he needed, more than anything else, to show how how he truly felt.

"Want to take my time with you okay? Is that okay?" He asks, wanting them to be on the same page. She's nodding as he mouths at her skin, mouth wrapping around her nipple, sucking tenderly at the peaked bud. His lips move down in-between her breast, pressing against the necklace he gifted before reaching the other nipple, tongue teasing it gently. She can't help it as her hips rut against his at the amount of pleasure it causes her.

His hands move back down to her hips then and he's slowly lifting her, placing her onto the other side of the bed, back flush against the soft comforter.

Her hands find his shirt, lifting it over his head, revealing his tattooed chest. She stares at him from her place on their bed, how his thighs are parted, accommodating her small body, how the chest scattered with tattoos that she loves is clenching under touch, how he can't help but place his bottom lip in his teeth as he watches her.

Her eyes drift up to his face, his brown orbs almost perforating into her skin, clouded by something much greater than lust or desire: love. She can't count the amount of times he had changed his hair in the time she had known him, but this, this was her favourite, when the curls sat awry on his head, the grey strands drifting among the black, almost unnoticeable at a mere glance.

She was absolutely besotted with him and the fact didn't scare her anymore: she welcomed it.

Her lips are the ones to press against his skin now, dedicating a whole file in her mind to how he felt against her, how the centre of his chest dipped and how his waist curved inwards almost too much, reminiscent of the days in which he abused his body. He was healthier now and muscle had built up in the places where there once was only skin and bone. Even back then, through all the hate she found him beautiful, there was something about him that was unlike anyone she had ever met, but now she knows he is the most beautiful person both inside and out.

"You're beautiful Matty" she admits and the confession has him pulling her away from his chest, assaulting her lips in a passionate kiss. No one had ever used that word to describe him before and he found his heart jumped in his chest as he heard her say it.

His tongue moves against hers languidly, strong movements that have her eyes fluttering although already shut. Her small hands find his jaw, not wanting him to leave her mouth just yet, so he continues his ministrations, tongue curving around hers as sighs fall from one person to the other. She feels stubble under her fingertips and she smiles against his mouth, breaking them apart for a second.

He stares into her eyes, pupils blown wide matching her own. Their lips are both swollen, cheeks tinted red as they smile at each other.

His hands find the button of her jeans "may I?" He asks. "Please do" she says quietly.

He tugs them down her legs, careful not to be too aggressive with his actions. He wanted to show her how he truly felt about her, he needed to show her how grateful he was that she was here, with him. He knows she could have any guy in the world but she wanted him, he knew if he thought about that fact he's ego would inflate too much so he focuses on her.

He's quick to rid himself of his own jeans, making her chuckle before his body is resting above hers again.

He chuckles "sorry got a bit excited" he says making her giggle under him.

His mouth finds hers again in another round of passionate kissing. His hand drifts along her skin again, drifting along her now exposed thighs.

He hooks her right leg over his hip, flattening his core against hers, she sighs at this, mouth agape. It felt like every sense of hers was heightened, such a simple gesture making her see stars. He hadn't even properly touched her yet and she already felt on cloud nine.

"Matty, please touch me" she pleads, eyes finding the man above her. His features soften at her words, he doesn't say anything, simply lets his hand drift in between her thighs, meeting her underwear with the pads of his fingers.

One touch and she's moaning into his mouth, it was barely audible but he heard it. His fingers hook into her underwear pulling them down until she's revealed to him.

"So so beautiful" he murmurs, lips finding the shell of her ear.

His touch is feather light against her folds, carefully pressing up into her, making blissful sighs fall from her mouth, making sure he catches everyone with his own. She feels every ridge, every crease and indent in his fingers, the pads calloused from years of playing guitar. His fingers were rough in every sense of the word, a juxtaposition of how they were moving against her.

"So wet for me" he sighs.

He presses two fingers gently inside her, resisting the urge to press his own hips into hers at how she clenches around him. Airy gasps and moans are captured by his mouth.

"Matty" he would never tire of her saying his name. His cock pulses under the confines of his boxers, the way she's saying his name, like it's the only one she knows, it satisfies his deepest desires. He's curving his fingers up into her now, caressing the deepest parts of her, the spongy bundle of nerves being massaged with every deliberate trust.

"Matty" she sighs "I need you" she says and he groans into her.

"Don't worry I've got you, love" he says, knowing exactly what she needed because he needed the same thing. She helps him rid himself of his underwear, her hands wander in-between their bodies, grasping his hard member in her hands, he shakes his head, not needed the foreplay right now, he just needed her, desperately. He quickly finds his place back in-between her hips, leg hooking onto his hip as the tip of him threads through her cunt.

He slowly pushes all the way in, bottoming out as they sigh together. He holds himself there, deep inside her as she adjusts to the size of him, it wasn't their first time but it felt different like this, more intense. All she can do is grip him, making sure he doesn't move from her, she needs him here, close.

"My love.... Oh my love" he sighs against her ear, needing a minute to adjust as she clenches around him.

He places gentle kisses against her closed eyelids and they snap open as he draws his hips back slowly, pushing back in when the head of him reappears.

Their eyes never waver from each other, holding contact throughout. His movements are deep and meaningful, languid strokes of his hips sending his cock into places he had never reached before. His grunts are quiet, delivered into her ear so only she can hear.

His hand grips her bent knee at his hip, the angle forcing his cock into her sweet spot with every intentional thrust of his hips. Her mouth falls open against his chest, sighing into the skin, not wanting anyone to hear them. This moment was about them and them only.

Her mouth opens and then shuts, not able to speak with the amount of pleasure that was creeping its way up her spine.

He wants nothing more than to tell her he loves her but he's afraid she'll run away if he does. His pelvis is pressed against her clit with how deep he is and she's sighing into his mouth at the feeling.

She takes his hand in hers, pressing it against her abdomen " feel how deep you are Matty. No one has ever been this deep before" she groans. Her words have him almost cumming on the spot and his movements falter for a second, causing him to tip forward suddenly, sending him up and into her harshly, not the pace he wanted at the given moment. She gasps at the feeling regardless of whether he meant to or not.

"Keep saying stuff like that and I'll be done for" he says making her chuckle before the noise is replaced by a high pitched moan, his mouth pressing against hers to catch it.

This wasn't fucking, this was making love, their bodies telling each other everything they were too afraid to say.

A particular push forward of his hips accompanied by his fingers circling her clit has her sighing loudly, grasping his chin and forcing her lips against his. She didn't want anyone to hear this, this was a moment for just them, their own little secret.

"My beautiful darling girl" he grunts against her mouth.

"I lo-" he nearly says those words but her mouth presses firmly against his, not letting him say it just yet. He didn't need to because she already knew.

"I know" she says, nodding up at him, letting him know that she did too.

"Feel so good Matty" she sighs, his hips pulling out and pushing back in, her core convulsing around him, clenching against his girth as euphoria washed over her features. She was truly on cloud nine with him, everything else seeming to disappear.

"Fuck" he says, hips snapping forward a bit faster as he drew closer to his end.

Tears spring at her eyes as his hips pull back, snapping back in, the tip of him massaging her spot. Her eyes are closing as a tear falls, he’s kissing it away and her eyes open then. She had never felt Iike this before, not once had someone been able to make her feel this good. She was being loved the way she deserved.

"Matty" she sighs, back arching off the bed as her hands grip his back, pulling him closer if possible. His forehead rests against hers as he looks down at where they meet.

"Look how well you're taking me love. Fucking made for me" he says, her eyes snapping to where they're joined.

"Baby" she sighs. Her mouth hangs open, and he finds her eyes again, almost boring into her soul.

Euphoria takes over features and he knows she's close.

"Let go love" he says and that's all it takes. Her back arches even more off the bed and she all but sobs as a pleasure like she has never felt washes over her entire body. Her body spasms, her right hand resting against the pillows next to her head, he leans forward, grasping her hand in his.

"I've got you love, I've got you" he says, continuing his movements through her high. His mouth hangs open as his own high dawn's on him, he had never felt like this either. He had never really made love to someone before and he thought he'd feel vulnerable but with her, all he felt was loved.

"Oh god" he moans, hips spluttering forward as he reaches his own peak. He's cumming hard, harder than he thinks he ever has, long hot spurts of his cum coating her walls.

"So good" he says as their lips meet in one last passionate kiss. He pulls out of her, landing on his back next to her, completely high on everything that was her and this moment.

He pulls her to his chest, kissing her as she still comes down from her high.

"That was amazing" she sighs, completely fucked out.

"You're amazing, thank you" he says and she smiles at him, pressing another kiss to his lips, simply not able to get enough.

"Thank you" she says. He gets up to clean them both off, checking if she needs anything before returning to her. They stare at each other for a while, stupidly happy smiles resting on their lips.

Lou eventually presses her cheek against Matty's bare chest, her fingertips trailing across the skin, down to his torso, light touches drifting along his collar bones, in between his pecs, along the centre of his abdomen, finally caressing the "we are kings" tattoo she has grown to love.

Matty was breathing lightly above her, post orgasm high still coursing through his body, his own fingertips playing with her hair, occasionally pressing kisses against the top of her head.

The scene was something they had both grown comfortable with now, they craved it all hours of the day: up on stage in front of thousands of people, just among their friends and especially when it was just the two of them.

He began humming something, something unrecognisable but unmistakably pretty.

"Sounds pretty" she says, her voice barely a whisper.

"Pretty?" He asks, moving the hair from her face so he could see her. She looks up at him from her place on his chest, nodding and smiling when his face crunches up, not liking her confession.

"Don't want our music to sound 'pretty' love" he admits.

"Well it does, so deal with it" she says, turning to get a better look at him. She places a kiss on his scrunched up nose.

She wriggles about for a bit, trying to get comfortable, he grunts above her as she stabs and pokes him as she moves.

He doesn't mind though, he'd go through hell just for her needs. She finally settles, palms flat against his chest, her legs resting in between his parted ones, her face resting against her hands and she can finally see all of his face: including his untamed curls that sit askew atop his head.

He likes this position, he can see her face too now, can see how her eyes sparkle as she looks at him and smiles. Despite the both of them being completely naked, neither felt vulnerable.

"'All I Need To Hear' is a pretty song.... So is inside your mind, this must be my dream, when we are together, about you ,Falling for you, tonight (I wish I was your boy) me and you together song " she says, listing songs of his she thought sounded pretty and he groans at that, making her laugh again.

"alright I get it love" he chuckles, cutting her off and making her laugh and she presses a kiss to his chest.

"You're a pest you know that" he says and she nods up at him, smiling widely, making him smile too. His fingertips drift along her cheek, resting against her chin and pulling gently so she raises slightly. He presses his lips against hers then, making her sigh in bliss.

"You know you just listed several songs that were written about you" he says, making her shoot up to look at him.

"You can't tell me that," she says, making him laugh. She lies back down on his chest.

"Is my whole life a lie?" She says dramatically (on purpose) making him laugh and place more kisses against her lips.

"Tell me you love me" he murmurs against her lips, she wants nothing more than to break away and talk about his words but she can't bring herself to do so quite yet. So she allows him to keep pressing gentle kisses to her lips, getting carried away when he starts to press firmer ones, ones where his tongue peeks through his lips and presses against hers. After what had just happened she supposed it needed to be said. She feels him pull her away and her eyes open to find him.

"Tell me you love me" he repeats, his voice barely audible in the large hotel room. She thinks she knows him quite well now, and she thinks she knows why he's asking her.

"Can't seem to bring yourself to say it first?" She asks, whispering back at him. He's scared, although he has no reason to be.

"If I tell you that..." He begins but his voice trails off. He was truly scared that if he opened his heart in that way, she would reject him, or things would go wrong, afraid he'd lose her.

"Matty" she says, and his eyes shut, not wanting to look at her. One look and he'd be spilling his heart out.

"Matty, baby look at me" she says firmly making his eyes drift open to look at her again.

"You know you're not going to lose me right? Especially after what just happened" She says and he nods hesitantly.

"Matty, I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me now I'm afraid" she says. He simply leans down to kiss her again. The kiss is more passionate than the last one they shared.

"I love you sweetheart" he says as he pulls away, his eyes are tearing up slightly and she smiles a soft smile at him.

"I know Matty, I know. I love you too, more than anything" she admits before pressing her lips to his again. She goes to pull away but he lightly pulls her forward by the necklace that rests around her neck, the necklace he got her, the necklace that proves to the both of them that he's hers and she is his.

"Not ready for you to leave quite yet" he mumbles against her lips.

"Okay Matty" she smiles against his mouth.

They cuddle after that, Matty is the little spoon for a while before he's turning them, insisting on "wrapping the woman he loved" as he so blatantly put it, up in his arms.

He's repeating the three words throughout the night, some of them she heard, some of them she didn't (having fallen asleep in his arms) but that was okay. He had years of catching up to do, might as well get a head start he thought.

They were truly insatiable, waking every few hours and making love, various I love you's falling into the empty room. Each time seemed to be more intense than the last, until both of them are nearly crying into each other. They laughed with each other about how pathetic it was, but they were happy. The happiest either of them had ever been.

Part 8

Note: hope everyone liked this chapter, please let me know what you think and what you want to see... Even if it's not something directly linked to the story, could just be a Matty x Lou concept... Also help everyone is doing okay despite everything. Remember I love you

#matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy fan fic #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy imagine #matty healy x ofc #matty healy x oc #insufferable arsehole matty healy series #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic #the 1975 smut #matty healy series #the 1975 #m

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atomsminecraft · 10 months

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My headcanon on if the consorts would like roller coasters or not lmao

Guy

I feel like he would because it would be kinda similar to riding Ertle but just really fast

Jasper

I’m not 100% sure on this one but I’m gonna go for him not liking roller coasters. Idk I just find it funny that one day he did have to go on Ertle for whatever reason and he was scared shitless and never went on Ertle again 💀

Toa

I’m gonna say he doesn’t like them. He might like carousels, teacup rides, and one of those rides that lift you up in the air and spin you around though

Knight

Absolutely not 💀

Bro would hate them

He would try them out once and vow to never go on one again

Fenn

He would love them

He’s the one who tricked Knight onto going on one and it scared Knight shitless

He would keep any pictures that are taken on roller coasters

He and Guy are forced to sit next to each other

They sit in the front for the “full experience”

One time he memorized where the cameras are on a roller coaster and when they were about to pass one he put his arm around Guy’s shoulder and now cherishes the picture

Guy tries to burn the picture

He fails

Roy

Oh boy

I feel like he wouldn’t like roller coasters but he would like the same ones as Toa; Carousel, teacup rides, and those rides that lift you in the air and spin around

He would go on one one time and his princely demeanor almost slipped

Almost

Bro’s hair got so messed up and Fenn made fun of him for it /j but also /srs

Grayson

Absolutely not

He would hate them

He would look at one and not want to go on it

Would avoid one with all the power he has

“I’ll stay here and watch everyone’s things”

He uses every excuse in the book

Lynt

Now why would you make him go on one

Bro would get nightmares

Let him go on one if those rides at Disney that tells you the shortened version of a movie like that one Ariel ride

Actually it would be pretty funny seeing him fall asleep on a roller coaster

Imagine Lynt snoozing during the entire ride

Everyone is screaming meanwhile Lynt is like 😴😪

The workers there think he fainted and almost call in paramedics

Tino

Who hurt you

Never make him go on one

He would have a heart attack

He’s staying on the ground

Would go if Lynt went on one though

Lynt please show mercy

Rio

He loves them

He would ask to go on it again

He would find the largest roller coasters and go on them

He’s having the time of his life

Lance

Ok so I’m not 100% sure

I feel like he would like specific rides

Like he probably wouldn’t like the roller coasters that have those spins that bring you upsidedown

Dia

I feel like he wouldn’t like them

He would have to have his hair in my ponytail to keep his hair out of his face

Would rather go find mushrooms then be there

He would go on the ride if it has mushrooms

Someone get him a ride that’s based on mushrooms

He would love that

Lou

I feel like he would be terrified of them 💀

He made the mistake of going on one that Fenn recommended and he has never been the same

“It’s not that fast” proceeds to go at the speed of light

I would love to see the imagine that shows up after his picture is taken while he’s on a roller coaster

I feel like it would be funny to witness

#court of darkness #court of darkness voltage #headmaster lou #court of darkness lou #guy avari #toa qelsum #fenn luxure #roy invidia #lynt akedia #rio voleri #lance ira #dia akedia #jasper lane #court of darkness knight #grayson hotz #tino maes #court of darkness headcanons

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ourpickwickclub · 5 days

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I wonder if people realize that it took ND in the early days almost 10 years to get this big. Gwen is a wonderful singer and performer. But even with her in the band, it took a lot of years for their breakthrough!!! And then people think that the guys in DC would get as high with a good singer and them being in their 40’s. No matter if Gwen performs solo and a lot less during the year, she already had her name, she was the frontwoman and totally in the picture. The guys are equally as wonderful, but they form the band, not the vocals and that will always be more difficult to start up something new. Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac went solo and if she did, Mick Fleetwood, John McVie and Lindsey Buckingham would do other projects, but never together. Lindsey even did go solo and he is an awesome guitar player, but even he wasn’t able to get as much succes. Lou Gramm (he was the singer) of Foreigner went solo and he had succes. Mick Jones needed another singer and it took years to find Kelly Hansen (after Lou Gramm left for a second and definitive time). But Mick was the owner of the band and was able to keep the name Foreigner. They made one new album, the rest were best of’s and the touring was all about the old songs that Mick wrote together with Lou Gramm. That is why they kept having success. Most bands who fall apart is mostly because of some drama that goes on, but when the singer leaves, it really leaves the rest of the band in loose ends. It would be the same when John Bon Jovi would leave Bon Bovi. Would you really see the rest of this band getting on a new project with a new singer and having success? It was already difficult that Richie Sambora (lead guitar)left, but if John would leave, that would be the end for all the rest of them.

Love all this music trivia. As someone who had the Buckingham Nicks poster on my wall for years even though they weren’t my generation of music, I have to give Lindsey props for Trouble. And of course the equally brilliant and annoying Holiday Road. But points taken.

And Davey Havok is an incredible singer. Really good! It’s just that so few people have the lyrical genius, the iconic looks, the charisma, and the stage skills of Gwen. Mick Jagger does. Sting. Stevie is close but can’t work a stage like Gwen. I saw her a couple months ago and she is still amazing tho! Linda Perry. Rod Stewart. Don Henley. All check so many boxes but Gwen is so elite among them for what she can do. She just chose family over more fame.

Sometimes I think Gwen had more fun when ND was bubbling under and had small time fame. But she was always destined to be a star and this road led her to Blake.

- B

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sharkfinn · 5 months

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After what you just posted, I couldn't even form words for five minutes. That reaction image was the exact face I was making, lol. I'm not even mad because I am way too baffled by this reveal. Bro, I love this au an uncontrollable amount.

I kind of caught on a bit ago, but I didn't know that Draxum like truly truly cared about the turtles in this au. I knew he loved Spot, but I didn't know where he truly stood with the others...I'm not 100% sure he's the good guy yet. But I can tell that you've fully embraced Dad Draxum. He definitely would've been a wonderful father in the show. That's one of the main things about Rise that I so desperately wished we got to see more of. In a way, this au is healing a part that part of my soul :']

I guess the turtles really don't remember anything. I don't know if Splinter is actually dead or not because I still think there's more to the story. But I'm pretty confused since we haven't actually seen him yet. But if he is, then that really sucks :'( Leo did mention them already having a father figure, so I hope that's him mentioning Splinter.

Man, the poor babies watched their Dad get killed right in front of them by someone they don't even know. I still have no clue as to why the Rat King is after their family! I don't know why he killed Lou. I don’t know why he took the others. They were literally just playing together, and then out of nowhere, the Rat King just dumped Yoshi's body on the ground. Draxum had to watch it, too. And all he could do was save Spot from that monster.

So I guess you could say Little Brother is a bit like a separation au with a mission. It's kind of like the Life Mission au, ngl. I'm still excited about that project.

Anyway, all the signs were there.

Draxum talking with them. It's a lot more gentle than he did in the show, too. Wanting them to meet Spot and telling them, "There's so much you still don't know." I just assumed he was talking about Spot. Nope, there was so much more meaning behind those words.

Spot drawing a picture of him saving his brothers from the "Rat King" because he quite literally watched them get taken and was defenseless to stop it. Either what happened is actually what happened. He just wants to save his brothers and be with them again. He also believes the Rat King still has him under their clutches. But what about Draxum? He's met them already, and he's met April. What's his side of the story? And if Splinter is still alive, then that opens room for Spot to question, "What? How?". And since his brothers don't remember him and don't remember being taken, then he's gonna think they got brainwashed. Then that's gonna be a whole ordeal that'll start conflicting Spot about everything. That's where I think he's gonna start turning against Drax. Only if Splints is alive. I just don't believe they've been taking care of themselves this whole time. Because then April's relationship with them would be a little more complicated.

And this part? Wow, it makes so much more sense now. His brothers, in fact, do not remember him for a reason. And Spot is, has, in fact, NOT grown. It's just, from the angle you put him at, he looks a lot taller than what he actually is. Because it had literally only been three weeks later from where we're at now. Anyway, I'm assuming that the reason he's chasing April is because Draxum saw them with her and assumed she's the enemy. So, where I think this is going is that this is Spots' first real try at getting his brothers back. And I now know that he most likely hasn't turned against Draxum, lmao 💀

I mean, it's still possible since I have a little inkling that Draxum may be lying about something. Or may have gone in Spots memory or whatever. It's just a hunch, I guess. It's not like I want it to be the truth, though. I would love to be wrong and for him to truly just be a wonderful Dad. And for him to want to save his babies and get revenge on the Rat King as much as Spot does. I'm just trying to piece together what could have happened to Yoshi.

And that nightmare he keeps having? It's just a replay of what happened that night, over and over. My boy is traumatized, and all I wanna do is wrap him up in a weighted blanket and give him his brothers back :'(((((((

Aaaah, Finn. I love this au so muuuuuuuch, it's killing me. And you're cute frickin adorable artstyle that I wanna gobble up isn't helping. Also, the new design for the Rat King is SO COOL. He is AWESOME, so here's a gold star for amazing character design ⭐️⭐️⭐️

GGGRRRRHGGRGRGRAAAAAAAAAGGRGHHHHHH!!!!!!! SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS

#little brother au #sharkfinnasks #rottmnt au

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fateinthestars · 3 months

Text

Star-Crossed Myth Fluffbruary Fanfic (4th Feb): Picture Perfect (Tauxolouve/MC)

Title: Picture Perfect

Fandom: Star-Crossed Myth

Genre: Fluff

Rating: T

Pairing: Tauxolouve/MC (MC’s name left blank so you can fill it in with whatever you wish in your head)

Word Count: 1,251

Written for Prompt: February 4 : camera | lush | beau @fluffbruary

February 4th: Picture Perfect (Tauxolouve/MC)

During her lunch break at the planetarium, ___ sighed softly to herself.

“___?” Hiyori asked, putting her own lunch down for a moment. “Is something the matter?”

“No, I’m fine, it’s just we’ve been rather busy recently and so has Lou so we’ve not seen each other much at all these past few weeks.”

Hiyori frowned a little. “True we have been rather busy with this event, but last week was rather quiet…”

“Yes, but last week wasn’t quiet for Lou,” ___ murmured.

“Typical,” Hiyori muttered. She then looked curiously at ___. “You know I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you mention what he actually does.”

___ nearly choked on her food. “Does that matter?”

“... No I suppose not. It’s just the way he acted that first time he was here…”

“Oh, that,” ___ replied, now smiling. “I told you before, don’t worry about that. Lou isn’t really like that.”

Hiyori smiled back with a glint in her eyes. “Why not tell me more about what he’s really like then? The times I’ve seen him pick you up it seems as though he acts like a gentleman.”

“That’s because he is,” ___ insisted back with a look of love in her eyes. “He acted like that even before we were dating.”

“Of course he did,” Hiyori replied with a grin. “He was clearly interested in you from the start after all.”

___ sighed. “There’s more to it than that.”

Hiyori nodded. “I understand. Okay then if you’re missing each other so much how come I’ve not seen any photos of you two together? If I had a boyfriend as handsome as Tauxolouve I’m sure I’d be showing him off.”

“Hiyori!” ___ snapped, blushing a little. “Don’t let your own boyfriend hear you say that.”

“Oh you know what I mean,” Hiyori replied. “Don’t avoid the question.”

___ thought for a moment, wondering how to explain that the Gods didn’t have cameras. Not that that should have stopped her from taking some. So why hadn’t she?

“___ ?”

“Oh! Sorry!” ___ blurted out, startled back out of her thoughts. “I guess… Lou really enjoys sketching and painting. I suppose I’ve never really felt the need to have a photo of us when he has all these wonderful drawings…”

“But the way you got lost in your head just now… you’re wishing you had taken some, huh?” Hiyori asked knowingly. “You should have a photo of you and your beau.”

___ laughed at this point. “Beau? Isn’t that rather old fashioned?”

“It fits his personality though doesn’t it?” Hiyori replied, unfazed. “Besides you should have a nickname for him, you clearly enjoy the one he has for you.”

Initially confused, ___ blinked as she realised what Hiyori was referring to. She forced a smile. “Yes, I suppose if I didn’t like the term little lady I’d have told him to cut it out by now,” she murmured. “Though I’m not sure Lou will even know what that term means.”

“Surely that’s even better though?” Hiyori retorted. “As long as he understands it as a term of endearment that’s all that matters.”

As ___ went to respond, she caught sight of the time out of the corner of her eye. Their break was nearly over. “Hiyori, I think we better concentrate on our lunch if we actually want to eat it.”

“Oh! Right!”

***

That evening, ___ and Hiyori left the planetarium at the same time. As they stepped outside, ___ broke into a run as she saw Tauxolouve waiting.

Steadying her as she almost tripped, Tauxolouve smiled brightly and tilted his head. “Careful now, little lady. I’m glad you’re so excited to see me but let’s not hurt ourselves in the process.”

Hiyori looked over to them with a wide smile. “It’s almost as though you’re psychic. ___ spent all lunch time talking about you and how little you’d seen each other recently.”

“Hiyori!” ___ snapped, clinging to Tauxolouve in embarrassment.

Tauxolouve, however, simply smiled again. “I wondered why my ears were burning,” he replied with a slight chuckle. He then took ___’s hand in his own, his expression more worried. “She’s right though, it has been rather a hectic few weeks for us both.”

“I’ll get out of your hair,” Hiryori replied in understanding. “I’ll see you tomorrow ___! Don’t forget to tell him about what we talked about!”

After Hiyori had left with that parting shot, ___ looked uneasily up at Tauxolouve, swallowing at the questioning gaze he was now giving her.

“Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

“I… it’s just a silly thing really…”

Tauxolouve smiled kindly. “I doubt anything you want to talk about, no matter how small, can be classified as silly. We’ve got all evening. Take your time.”

“... Hiyori was wondering why we didn’t have any photos of us.”

“Photos?” Tauxolouve asked, his expression a little blank now.

___ nodded and took out her phone. “I think I’ve probably mentioned them before, but not why we have them. It’s a form of keeping memories alive and being able to show other people…”

As she tried to explain, Tauxolouve squeezed her hand gently. Taking in the information, he nodded in understanding. “In a way, it sounds like another form of art…”

“Some people do do photography professionally,” ___ replied. She then looked curiously at his expression. “You got something in mind?”

“I do. Originally I was thinking to paint but maybe this’ll work as well. Hold on.”

Making sure she was gripping him tightly, Tauxolouve raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

***

Once ___ had reoriented herself from being teleported, her eyes widened at the lush greenery and array of colours spread out in the fields in front of her. There seemed to be acres of land, all covered with tulips.

“Where on earth are we?” ___ breathed, looking around with wonder.

“Amsterdam, I think?” Tauxolouve replied, a little unsure himself. “I would not even know of this had it not been for a Wish I’d had to grant earlier this week.”

___ smiled brightly, overjoyed. “It’s so pretty,” she commented, not sure she’d ever fully get used to the fact that the Gods could teleport her anywhere in the world in mere seconds. “You’re right, this’d be a nice place to get a photo… oh but I guess I better wait a while before showing Hiyori it. I’m not sure I’d be able to explain how we were able to take it so quickly.”

Tauxolouve laughed lightly, before helping ___ to carefully step further into the fields of flowers. “I suppose that’s true enough. We can take something at home too if you want.”

“Of course! I’d love that!” ___ responded happily.

Now in the middle of the flowers, ___ got her phone out as Tauxolouve wrapped an arm around her waist. Lifting it up so she could get both of them in shot on the front-facing camera, she took a couple of photos.

About to take a third, just to make sure, she almost dropped her phone in surprise as Tauxolouve suddenly kissed her on the cheek.

Putting it away instead, she turned to face him. “... Lou…” she mumbled.

Tauxolouve smiled softly at her, before pulling her into a tender and loving kiss.

When they broke away for air, he glanced around once more. “Yanno what… maybe I will paint this scene as well. You don’t mind, do you?”

___ smiled brightly and hugged him tightly before kissing him again briefly. “Of course not!”

#scm fanfic #star crossed myth fanfic #scm #star crossed myth #scm tauxolouve #tauxolouve x mc #fluffbruary 2024

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catalinastarlight · 6 months

Text

Hi!! This is something I started working on a pretty long time ago! It’s a burlesque inspired AU with Sevika x fem!reader. It’s not finished, nor will it ever be. Most likely. But I hope you enjoy! No smut, not edited. Sorry for any mistakes!

Dancing was always something that you had adored, ever since you were a child. You’d love to watch the other kids dance their weird little routines and would join in when they’d let you. But you were kind of awkward and jerky so they wouldn’t let all that often, but you cherished when they did. You’d dance in your room constantly, when there was a room of course. Your parents had to move quite often, with the way the Lanes were nowadays especially. But you didn’t mind too much, it just meant you could meet more people your age.

Fast forward to now and you were a burnt-out twenty-five year old with no clue what in the fuck you were going to do with your life. You worked as a bartender currently, it paid the bills but left little for much else. And you didn’t even enjoy it, it was just something to make the time pass and make sure you had a roof over your head.

One night as you were closing up your friend suggested that you go out with her, and typically you’d always say no. But you had a rough week and decided that a few drinks couldn’t hurt, so you agreed. You finished cleaning up the bar, making sure every patron was gone before leaving with your friend and locking the door behind you. It truly was a wonder no one had broken in yet and you weren’t about to question it.

Your friend, Lou, a fairly short girl with emerald green hair and bright golden eyes, guided you through the crowded streets to a part of the Lanes you didn’t even know about. It was dark and a little seedy, not that that was much of a shocker. Most places in the Lanes looked similar to that. She went to a secluded door, knocking three times rapidly. A little hatch in the door slid open, one large glowing green eye peered through to look at your friend and you.

“It’s Lou. Now let us in, Marv.” Lou spoke in a flat tone, giving the person on the other side of the door an unamused look. The person grunted, sliding the hatch closed with a click. You heard a couple locks being popped open then the sound of the door scraping against the floor. Lou grabbed your hand, pulling you through the door. She gave you a bright smile and wiggled her eyebrows.

You immediately noticed how dark and cluttered it was, wondering where the hell Lou had taken you. “What is this place?” You asked, looking around at the hallway you currently stood in. There were newspaper articles and nude paintings and pictures of women all over the walls. You could barely see the muted coral color underneath it. It was dimly lit, a crystal chandelier hanging over your heads emitting a soft yellow glow. You could hear music and laughing further down the hall. Was it a club? It had to be a club.

“The best kept secret in all of the Lanes. Come.” Lou replied, dragging you through the hall until the space opened up to a larger room. It housed tables upon tables and a long bar nestled against one of the walls. Straight ahead was a stage, golden lights all around it and a deep red curtain obscuring whatever was behind it. More crystal chandeliers bathed the room in soft lighting, little lanterns on the tables gave it a cozy feel. The light bounced off the liquor bottles and sparkled. You were in awe. This place was beautiful. It looked like something that belonged in Piltover, with all the luxe details and expensive alcohol. No wonder Lou said it was a well kept secret.

She guided you over to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools and motioning for you to sit beside her. You did, sliding onto one of the nicest stools you had ever had the pleasure of sitting on. The cushion was plush with no rips or tears and the legs weren’t wobbly in the slightest. The ones back at your bar were barely holding on, especially with all the fights that went on. People loved smashing them over other goons heads.

Lou ordered you both a gin and tonic, letting the bartender slide them down to you. You took yours with a nod, the bartender giving you a sly wink. He was cute, tall and broad with light brown hair and ice blue eyes with liner smudged around them. But not your type, for a multitude of reasons. The main one being that he’s a guy and well, you’re not into guys.

The lights suddenly dimmed even more, leaving only the little lanterns and the stage lights to provide a bit of a glow. You turned to face the stage just as the curtains were raised, drink in hand. Women were spread out all across the stage in skimpy, sparkly outfits. Their makeup and hair done up to the nines. Music bloomed through the speakers as their bodies started to move tandem with one another. Hands touched and felt. Legs moved and kicked. It was captivating; how well they moved with one another. It reminded you how much you used to loved to dance and how badly you sometimes wanted to pick it back up. But you knew you could never be this good, this was leagues above from your almost non-existent skill.

The whole time they were dancing you were in total awe, glass in your hand completely forgotten. It’s a total wonder you hadn’t dropped it, with the way you were so transfixed on the stage. Your mouth had parted a bit, just taking in the absolute extravagance of what you were watching. You didn’t even notice a figure coming up and sitting beside Lou, both of them talking in hushed tones and sneaking glances at you.

After a few more minutes the performance ended. You fumbled to set your glass on the counter and stand, clapping loudly as the curtains were drawn. A few people glanced at you but you honestly didn’t care, this was one of the best things you had ever seen. Ever. They deserved all the praise and more in your eyes.

A low chuckle coming from behind you broke your stupor. You dropped your hands and turned around, looking to Lou and then noticing the brick house of a woman beside her. She had a deep glint in her eye, full dark lips set into a smirk. The first thing you noticed was definitely her height, she towered over you and almost everyone else around her. Her hair was cut just below her jaw, pulled back into a small half pony at the back of her head. Steel colored eyes and a blue-ish tinted scar running along the left side of her face and from her cheek down her neck and under the collar of her shirt. It looked like lightening. A deep colored cloak rested over her left shoulder, obscuring her arm from view. The second thing you noticed was how fucking hot she was. You sat back on the stool before you did something stupid, like your knees giving out.

“Like what you saw?” She spoke, her voice deep and smooth. It slithered down your spine and made you shiver.

“It was fantastic. Oh my god.” You replied, eyes lighting up at remembering what you just watched. The woman chuckled again, glancing down to Lou. “Introduce me?” She asked.

Lou perked up, getting a mischievous look in her eye that you knew so well. She was up to something, you felt it. “Oh! Sevika, this is my best friend of many, many years. She used to be a dancer, you know?”

“So I’ve heard.”

You spluttered, looking at Lou incredulously. “I haven’t danced in years, Lou!” Lou laughed, throwing her head back with a snort. “C’mon, babe. Sevika here is in desperate need of another dancer and I promised her I had the perfect girl for the job.”

“Do you own this place?” You questioned, glancing at the woman you now know was named Sevika. It was a bit off topic for the conversation at hand, but you couldn’t figure out why she needed another dancer. Unless she owned the place or something.

A small part of you were upset that Lou only dragged you here because she had something up her sleeve. But another part of you couldn’t help but desperately want to be up there in those gorgeous outfits. It would be like a dream come true.

Sevika hummed, nodding slightly, “I do,” she paused, signaling the bartender for a drink. “Your friend here is right, I need another dancer. One of the girls recently had a baby and we need someone to fill her position. It would be permanent, she has no plans of returning.” another pause, a glint in her eye as she took a drink of the dark liquid in her glass. “And I do think Lou was right, you’d be perfect for the job.”

Sevika’s eyes roamed your body, pausing at the swell of your breasts and the softness of your hips and thighs. You squirmed under her gaze, feeling like she could see straight through your clothing with those piercing eyes.

“I… I haven’t danced in years. And never anything like-like this,” you waved your hand towards the stage to make a point, sighing exasperatedly. Sevika chuckled, pulling a cigar from under her cloak and placing it between her lips. “Practice, darling. Be here tomorrow night, five-thirty. Sharp.” She said with a finality to her tone, lighting the cigar and blowing smoke through her nose before turning and walking away. You sat in a stunned silence, head snapping to Lou when your senses came back.

“What the fuck was that, Lou?” You snapped, eyes narrowing.

Lou sighed, looking at you pensively for a moment. “I know how much you hate working in the bar. And I can tell how much you miss dancing and doing something you actually like. I’ve been friends with Sevika for years and when she told me one of her girls quit I just knew I had to get you in.”

You listened intently, mouth going to a frown for a second before you flung yourself at your friend and hugged her tightly. At first you were mad, but now you’re overwhelmed with emotions. Good ones, mostly. It upset you with how they went about this, but in the end you didn’t really mind. You had a chance to live your dream. “I fucking hate you. But thank you. I won’t fuck this up.”

“Love you too, babe. You’re gonna do great,” Lou hugged you back, kissing your temple and smiling. “Oh, and by the way. Sevika was totally into you.” You pulled away from the embrace, opening your mouth to speak but Lou held a finger in front of lips with a grin and pointed to the stage. Another number was starting. Damn her.

You showed up the next day, exactly at five thirty as you were told. Sevika lead you to the back with a firm, yet gentle hand on your elbow. She showed you backstage, introduced you to the others, and gave you a vanity. Complete with lights and everything.

Practices were grueling, multiple hours a day until your feet were so sore you could barely stand. You had been fitted for costumes, given the ones you wore most often on their own rack while the special ones hung on a rack towards the back of the room. At first the costumes were incredibly uncomfortable, hell, they’re still uncomfortable. But getting to feel like you were a piece of art was well worth the expense of your ribs and ass.

It was a month before they allowed you on stage, and even then it was a pretty small performance compared to many of the others. Though you didn’t mind, you fed off the energy for two days - whole body thrumming with electricity.

It took even longer for the others to accept you, they weren’t outright hostile but you could tell you weren’t their favorite. One night they had all went out and didn’t invite you, leaving you at your vanity to plunder with your makeup. You sighed, picking up an eyeliner brush and trying to a make a wing but being unable to. You weren’t the best at makeup, never having the luxury of owning any when you were younger. You had picked up what you saw from Lou and a few other people at the bar.

A stool scraped behind you, causing you to jump and turn to see what -or who- it was. It was Sevika, chuckling at you.

“Need help with that?“ she asked, scooting a bit closer to you. You looked at her dumbfounded for a moment, wondering how she was going to help.

“I know it looks like I wouldn’t know much about this kind of stuff, but trust me.”

You laughed quietly, nodding and handing her your eyeliner and brush. She took it with the hand not hidden by her cloak, smiling. “I know I’m scary, and a brute but I promise I’m not that bad. My days of being that kind of woman are over.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, closing your eyes while she began to work her magic.

“Used to work for Silco. Hurt a lot of people, killed a lot of people. All because I wanted the Lanes to be better,” she paused, concentrating on getting your eyeliner even. “But I soon realized it’ll never get better. This… this is my whole life now. Giving people a small slice of something nice down here.”

“That’s… wow… that’s favorable? I guess. It’s good that you care. That’s more than most people can say.” You replied, reaching out, settling a hand on her knee with a light squeeze. Her breath hitched in her throat but she quickly covered it with a cough.

“Yeah.” She hummed, laying down the eyeliner and picking up a lipstick from your vanity. Gently she dabbed it on your lips, using her finger to even it out. A shiver ran through you at the contact, wanting more, wanting to lean into it. “All done. You look beautiful.”

Your could feel your cheeks get warm at the compliment as you turned to look into the mirror. Your makeup was flawless, Sevika having done an amazing job. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” you replied, turning to look at her again with a happy smile. She huffed a single laugh, shaking her head. “Do I look like someone who says that often?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer,” Sevika said, standing from her stool and moving behind you, she squeezed your shoulder and lent down to place a fleeting kiss to your temple. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that she was gone, disappearing up to the stairs to her office.

You sat stone still for a bit after she left, replaying the whole interaction in your head a hundred times over. Had she really called you beautiful? And kissed you? She seemed like such a hard woman, always shouting orders giving the vendors a hard time. You never imagined that she could actually be… sweet.

But then again, everyone was different behind closed doors.

It took another month for more to come out of your last true conversation with Sevika. You’d of course steal glances at her when you saw her and she’d do the same. Every time you performed her eyes stayed glue to you, making you feel like you were made of glass. She’d purposely walk past you and graze your shoulder with her arm, causing all the other girls to wonder if something was going on.

Other times she wouldn’t dare look at you, moving behind people and racks just so she could avoid you. It pissed you off. She was so hot and cold and you had no fucking clue why.

All of that finally came to a head one day when you were sent to Sevika’s office to discuss a new routine idea. You and the others had worked on it for weeks - after they decided they liked you and accepted you into the family - planning every little detail and outfit and song choice. According to them they haven’t had a new number in years and it was time to spice things up.

They had all agreed that you should tell Sevika, knowing you were her favorite but never saying that aloud. They giggled and gently pushed you towards the stairs, pressing a folder to your chest with lots of cheeky smiles. You hadn’t even got to change from your stage outfit, a thin sheen of sweat covering your chest and the rhinestones itching your ass and sides.

Slowly, you made your way up the spiral staircase and to Sevika’s office. The doors looked like stained glass butterfly wings, greens and violets glinting in the low light. You steeled yourself with a deep breath, knuckles rapping at the door a few times.

“Not now, Miguel. I’m busy.” Sevika’s muffled voice carried through the door. A bout of courage soared through your chest, taking a breath and pushing open the door slowly. You hadn’t been in her office before, but it was visually stunning. Like every other room in this place. A large wooden desk sat directly ahead of you, a plush high-backed chair that Sevika currently sat in. To the left was a table and couch, purple velvet with tufting along the back. A golden stained glass window behind the desk framed Sevika in a halo of warm light. The walls were a deep burgundy, two sconces on each wall illuminating the room. Along with another crystal chandelier above your head. A gramophone was tucked into the corner beside the couch, records in a crate beside it. You didn’t have enough time to take in more before Sevika’s voice broke you from your stupor.

“Damnit! I said I’m busy, Miguel. Whatever the hell it is can wa-” the word died in her throat once she finally looked up and saw you. You smiled sheepishly, noticing that her signature cloak was gone and under it was a beautifully crafted prosthetic arm made of golden metal with details of green. It looked more like a piece of art rather than a functioning part of her body. It seemed as if she was working on it, an array of tiny screwdrivers and wrenches laid out on the desk. One in her hand twisting something along her prosthetics forearm while a cigarillo was perched between her lips. How had you never noticed that she has a prosthetic arm? But you supposed that’s what the clock was for, as not to draw attention.

“Sorry… I-I can go,” you spluttered quickly, holding the folder tight to your chest like it would save you from Sevika’s wrath. She looked at you for a moment from under her lashes, steel eyes boring into your soul before she leaned back in her chair. She tossed the screwdriver on the desk, regarding you with her full attention as she took a long drag of her cigarillo.

“No, stay. What do you need?“

You chewed the inside of your cheek for a moment, stepping closer and opening the folder as you laid it flat on her desk. You decided not to mention her arm, in fear it might upset her more. “The others and I, we’ve been talking about a new number. They said it’s been years since they’ve done anything new. We uh, we’ve got it all planned out. Routines, costumes, song choices. We just, well, we need your permission. And the costumes, of course.”

A deep hum vibrated from Sevika’s chest, eyes roaming the expanse of papers you had fanned out across the wood. “And who’s going to be the lead?”

“Sammi. Probably. They’ve been here longest, everyone likes them.”

“I want you to be the lead.”

“What? Why me?” You practically shrieked, eyebrows shooting up your forehead. Sevika stood, rounding her desk and walking around you, causing you to follow until your lower back was plastered against her desk. “Because I said so. That a problem?” Her demeanor had changed from the last time you were alone together. You couldn’t tell if it unsettled you or turned you on. Maybe both.

You stared up at her, mouth hanging open slightly. “Yes. What if I fuck it up? You know I’m not as good as Sammi! Or anyone else for that matter!” You voice rose in volume, a sudden wave of confidence made your back straighten. Sevika rose her eyebrows, taking a drag from her cigarillo and blowing the smoke in your face. She laughed, sounding like it came from the deepest part of her chest.

“I never realized you had such a mouth on you.”

“I’m tired of whatever this is,” you waved your hand between the two of you, sighing heavily, “you’re so hot and cold. One minute you can’t keep your eyes off of me and the next you avoid me like the fucking plague and then, you want me to be lead in a new number. What gives?” The emotions you had been holding in finally boiled over, you stared Sevika down and held your ground. She huffed, giving you a look you couldn’t decipher before grabbing your waist with her non-prosthetic hand and pulling you close. She let the cigarillo fall to the ground, stubbing it out with her boot. God, she looked handsome when she was mad. Full lips curved into a snarl before they pressed to yours in a biting kiss. It took you much too long to even comprehend what was going on. It was electric, tingles shooting all throughout your body as you slumped against her and wrapped your arms around her broad shoulders.

The kiss continued for what felt like eons, Sevika tasted like expensive liquor and tobacco. A faint bit of honeyed candy lingering as well. It was intoxicating, leaving you weak. If it wasn’t for her firm hold you certainly would’ve fell to the floor by now. And yet all too soon she pulled away, eyes piercing through your own. “What was that?” You asked, breathing heavily into the space between the two of you. The dance number had completely been forgotten.

“A mistake. You do things to me. Fuck. I can’t… we can’t do this.” You shoved her away, glaring, “and why not? It’s clear we want this.” hoping your sudden onslaught of emotions weren’t completely obvious to the woman in front of you. You had wanted her terribly, though you hadn’t ever really given yourself time to think on it and now it’s crept upon you like shark-infested waters. The realization making you weak.

Sevika looked so handsome like this, her lips a shade darker from the kiss you two just shared, scar pulsating to her heartbeat. You hadn’t even noticed it did that before. Her eyes wild, minutely moving back and forth as she looked at you. Lips parted, showing off the little gap in her front teeth. Something about it softened her hard features. “I’ve actually never been with someone before. Just sex. I don’t want just sex with you. You deserve more than that.”

You frowned, moving closer once more and touching her scarred cheek. Her confession helping you make sense of her constant changing attitude towards you, “show me then. I can show you, too. You deserve good things, Sevika.” you kissed the side of her mouth gently, “Let me come home with you tonight. I’ll make us dinner, like a proper date. Have you ever been on a proper date?” Sevika shakes her head, her big bad demeanor completely disappearing. “Well that changes. We’re doing this right.”

A knock sounds at the door, sharp and quick, causing you both to jump away from each other. A head pokes in, Sammi, looking between you and Sevika, eyes narrowing at your disheveled state. “Time to go, babe. Next number in five.” With that they closed the door, their footsteps receding down the hall. You let out a shaky laugh, hand going to run through your hair.

“Meet me up here when you’re ready to leave. Now go, before the others get suspicious.”

“They already are,” you laugh, pressing a fleeting kiss to Sevika’s mouth, “Sammi has already told everyone what they saw.”

Sevika groaned, her fingers squeezing your waist before letting you go. You smiled once more; grabbing your papers and disappearing out the door.

The rest of the night flew by, your chest buzzing with anticipation and excitement at meeting with Sevika. She stayed hidden in her office for the last few numbers, but you didn’t mind. You knew that were going to see her soon enough and that was plenty to fuel you on. The others keep sneaking glances at you, the permanent smile on your face. You knew they wanted to ask what happened up, if anything at all happened beside the number being approved. But they didn’t and you were grateful. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to keep the secret if they did ask.

After the last number you scrambled to change out of your costume, pulling on your normal jeans and t-shirt so fast it’s a wonder you didn’t accidentally rip them. You weren’t sure why though, you wanted to sit and wait until everyone else left so they didn’t see you go upstairs to Sevika’s office. You weren’t sure if she wanted anyone to know. You yourself didn’t even know if this would work out, it might not. It might be a one off thing and never happen again. Maybe you both aren’t cut out for more than just colleagues. Though you hoped that wasn’t the case.

Soon enough everyone filtered out, yelling their goodbyes as they went downstairs. Immediately after the last persons head disappeared, you stood, turning off your vanity lights and grabbing your bag. You went back upstairs, knocking at the beautiful office doors once before letting yourself in. Sevika sat on her couch this time, legs crossed with a fresh cigarillo between her real fingers as an ashtray was held in her other hand. She looked up when you walked in, eyes softening the slightest bit. “How was your night?”

“Good. Are you ready to get out of here?” You replied, smiling and rolling on the balls of your feet. Sevika nodded, stubbing her cigarillo out in the ashtray and setting it on the ornate table in front of her. She stood, stretching her arms above her head. You couldn’t help but to glance at the bare skin of her torso, mouth suddenly dry. She let her arms fall back to her side, grabbing her cloak off the back of the couch and fastening it around her neck. You watched her, hands wringing in front of you nervously as she grabbed her keys and motioned for you to leave out the door in front of her.

The walk to her place was quiet, yet comfortable. Sevika held your hand, eyes roaming over all the less than favorable stalls on the way to her place. She made sure you were placed just the tiniest bit behind her, so her body would be first in case some dumbass decided tonight was the night they wanted to start something. Luckily nothing of the sort happened, the walk uneventful. Fingers left yours as she unlocked her apartment door, pushing it open with her foot and holding out her hand as a signal for you to enter first. You did with a small smile, stepping into the center of her home and taking it all in.

Her place wasn’t as big as you thought, especially since you knew she raked in a pretty penny from the club. But it was homey, with an open floor plan and mindless clutter. It wasn’t messy or dirty though, an organized clutter that reminded you too much of your own place. A kitchen nook sat off to the left corner, worn kettle sitting on the stove. A set of table and chairs in the empty space beside the kitchen. To the right was a door, presumedly a bathroom but you couldn’t be sure. Her bed sat against the right wall, blankets and pillows tussled like she hadn’t made it in awhile. A couch sat at the foot of the bed, the leather of it looked soft like it had been used for a long time. A metal coffee table sat to the front of the couch, an ashtray sitting precariously on the edge. Papers were strewn across it, too, some looked to be bills and others looked to be newspapers. A couple books were stacked on the edge, pages curling from being read so much. A small tool kit sat on the table as well, open, but all the tools looked to be present.

Directly across from the couch was a window, curtain drawn halfway to reveal the prettiest view of the lanes you had ever seen. All the neon lights mingling and casting a glow into Sevika’s apartment. You hadn’t ever really thought the lanes could be pretty, with all the crime and corruption going on down here. But here… above it all. It had some sort of semblance of beauty that comforted you. It was your home after all.

“I don’t know that I have enough food to make anything decent… I may have to stop by the food stalls sometime soon if not.” Sevika spoke, closing the door behind her. She hung her keys and cloak on a hook by the door, rolling her shoulders. You turned to face her, smiling gently as you took her organic hand into yours. She noticed your bag still on your shoulder, taking it with her other hand and hanging it on the hook along with her things.

“Thank you,” you smiled, stepping a bit closer, ”and that’s okay. I’m sure I can figure something out. I used to cook for me and Lou all the time when we lived together.” Sevika hummed, squeezing your hand just the tiniest bit.

“You’re free to see what you can find. I’ll get out some dishes.”

“Okay,” you replied, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek and letting go of her hand. You were kind of surprised she was going to let you have free reign of her kitchen, in your mind she seemed like the type of person who wanted to control everything. No matter how small.

#arcane netflix #sevika #arcane #sevika x reader #sevika arcane

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fibula-rasa · 10 months

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Lost, but Not Forgotten: A Doll's House (1922)

Direction: Charles Bryant; assisted by Albert Kelley

Scenario: Peter M. Winters (pen name of Nazimova)

Original Play: Henrik Ibsen

Camera: Charles Van Enger & Neal Jack (2nd camera); assisted by Paul Ivano & Lewis Wilson

Cutting: Lou Ostrow; assisted by Samuel Zimbalist

Wardrobe: Lilliam Turner

Studio: Nazimova Productions (production) & United Artists (distribution)

Performers: Nazimova, Alan Hale, Wedgewood Nowell, Nigel De Brulier, Florence Fisher, Clara Lee, Philippe de Lacy, Barbara Maier, Elinor Oliver

Premiere: Opening week: February 11-18, Strand Theatre, 1579 Broadway, Manhattan, NY and the Strand Brooklyn Theatre, 647 Brooklyn, NY.

Status: presumed entirely lost

Length: 7 reels or roughly 77 minutes

Synopsis (synthesized from magazine summaries of the plot)

In a comfortable flat, Nora Helmer (Nazimova) keeps house for her husband, Torvald (Hale), and their three children. Nora works hard to keep Torvald happy by playing the role of his “little squirrel.”

from Moving Picture World, 18 February 1922

Things were not always so comfortable for the Helmers, however. Three years prior, Torvald was gravely ill and the doctor ordered special treatment and a trip south to save his life. Nora secretly approached a money-lender, Krogstad (Nowell), to pay for Torvald’s treatment and forged her now-deceased father’s signature on a bond. In the intervening years, Nora has scrimped, saved, and taken in extra work to pay off the loan—still keeping the secret from her “principled” husband, who doesn’t approve of money-lenders.

Now, Torvald has fully recovered his health and Nora is one payment away from paying the loan in full. Torvald gets promoted to an official position at the bank and Krogstad now works under him. Upon learning that Krogstad has an unsavory past, Torvald decides to fire him—planning on offering his position to Nora’s childhood friend, Mrs. Linden (Fisher), who is now a single mother in need.

from Exhibitors Herald, 28 January 1922

Krogstad reveals to Nora that he knows she forged her father’s signature and that he will expose her to her husband if she doesn’t get Torvald to reinstate him at the bank.

Nora desperately tries to keep a cheerful, playful demeanor with Torvald. When Torvald sermonizes to her about moral turpitude due to bad mothers, she panics and feels her downfall is imminent.

Nora determines that she may be able to pay Krogstad off, and asks a family friend, Dr. Rank (De Brulier), for a loan. Unexpectedly, Rank takes this moment to confess his feelings for Nora. Nora rebuffs him, but now feels as though she has nowhere to turn.

from Motion Picture Magazine, May 1922

On Christmas Eve, Nora knows that there is a letter from Krogstad in their post box, but only Torvald has a key. Nora frantically distracts him from opening the box before they leave for a holiday masquerade party. Torvald notices Nora’s frenetic energy in how she dances at the party, but doesn’t know the cause.

When they return home, Torvald retrieves the mail. Before he can open the letter from Krogstad, Nora confesses that she deceived him to save his life. Torvald is furious that Nora has endangered his reputation and questions if she is fit to be a mother while in the same breath stating that he will pay Krogstad off.

However, when Torvald opens the letter, his mood turns on a dime. Krogstad has had a change of heart due to the influence of Mrs. Linden, who also happens to be an old sweetheart of Krogstad’s. The letter contains the cancelled note. Torvald grabs Nora and dances her around the room, overjoyed that his reputation is no longer in danger.

Nora realizes all of her acrobatics (literal and metaphorical) to keep Torvald happy have been pointless. She has sacrificed so much of her energy and independence to merely become “a toy of a selfish man.” The mask has fallen. While Torvald is ready to pretend that nothing has changed, Nora knows that she cannot go back to being his doll. Nora packs up her belongings and leaves the flat—intent on becoming her own person.

Final title card: “The End, or, Rather the Beginning.”

---

Points of Interest:

A Doll’s House (1922) was Nazimova’s first independently produced film after her contract with Metro ended.

Some of Nazimova’s first roles on the American stage were Ibsen plays (“Hedda Gabler,” “A Doll’s House,” & “The Master Builder,” to be specific), so this film was an attempt to capture some of that work on film.

Only 8 out of Nazimova’s 18 silent films survive today and only 3 have been made available on home video or streaming. [I recently re-watched Salome (1922) on the Pioneers: First Women Filmmakers set and I can’t recommend picking up this set enough!]

All Nazimova Silents:

“War Brides” (1916, presumed lost)

“Revelation” (1918, extant at MGM)

“Toys of Fate” (1918, extant at Národní filmový archiv)

“A Woman of France” (1918, short, presumed lost)

“Eye for Eye” (1918, extant at Gosfilmofond)

“Out of the Fog” (1919, presumed lost)

“The Red Lantern” (1919, extant at Cinémathèque Royale de Belgique, Gosfilmofond)

“The Brat” (1919, presumed lost)

“Stronger than Death” (1920, extant at MGM & Eastman House)

“Heart of a Child” (1920, presumed lost*)

“Madame Peacock” (1920, extant at Cinémathèque Royale de Belgique)

“Billions” (1920, presumed lost)

“Camille” (1921, extant)

“A Doll’s House” (1922, presumed lost)

“Salome” (1922, extant)

“Madonna of the Streets” (1924, presumed lost)

“The Redeeming Sin” (1925, presumed lost)

“My Son” (1925, presumed lost)

*The Women Film Pioneers Project website has this film listed as extant at Cinémathèque Royale de Belgique, but LOC lists it having no known archival holdings.

[Survival status checked via LOC’s Silent Feature Film Database, and re-checked at relevant archives when available]

Transcribed Sources & Annotation over on the WMM Blog!

Buy me a coffee!

#Nazimova #Alla Nazimova #henrik ibsen #1920s #1922 #silent era #silent movies #silent film #american film #independent film #charles bryant #a doll's house #film #movies #classic film #classic movies #film history #lost but not forgotten #lost film

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girlactionfigure · 8 months

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The dark-haired girl on the right with the impish smile, her name was Eddie Lou, she was about 8 years old when this photo was taken in 1909. The picture was taken at the Tifton Cotton Mill, Tifton, Georgia. The girls worked there.

The photograph was taken by Lewis Hine, who visited factories such as this mill and took photographs of the children who worked there as evidence for the National Child Labor Committee (NCLC).

In another part of the country, Mary Harris Jones, also known as "Mother Jones", led a march of children from Philadelphia to New York in what would be known as the March of the Mill Children, a three-week trek by striking child and adult textile workers on July 7, 1903.

Children had been forced to work in coal mines and mills, when their fathers were killed or injured, unable to support the families. As a result, many children suffered stunted growth and were injured, maimed. Mother Jones described the children, "some with their hands off, some with the thumb missing, some with their fingers off at the knuckle. They were stooped things, round shouldered and skinny. Many of them were not over ten years of age, the state law prohibited their working before they were twelve years of age."

“Since 2000, for nearly two decades, the world had been making steady progress in reducing child labour,” according to the United Nations. “But over the past few years, conflicts, crises and the COVID-19 pandemic, have plunged more families into poverty – and forced millions more children into child labour. Economic growth has not been sufficient, nor inclusive enough, to relieve the pressure that too many families and communities feel and that makes them resort to child labour. Today, 160 million children are still engaged in child labour. That is almost one in ten children worldwide.”

This is an update of a series of stories that have been posted for Labor Day. You can find those stories in the Peace Page archive or Google the information on your own to find out more.

~~~~~

“Over 100 years ago, the National Child Labor Committee used photos of children doing industrial work to demand change in America. Several states adopted child labor laws, and after much debate and several setbacks, the Fair Labor Standards Act became law in 1938. Its protections included the nation’s foundational child labor laws, including restrictions on the age of workers and hours they can toil,” wrote Michael Lazzeri, regional administrator of the U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division in Chicago

Max McCoy of the the Kansas Reflector wrote today on September 3, 2023:

“After more than a century of progress, you might think child labor is a thing of the past, something we condemn other countries for but that we don’t need to worry about here. Tragically, that shadow army of workers is still with us, and many of those workers are children. These underage exploited are often immigrants . . .”

“In February of this year, a cleaning company was fined $1.5 million for employing children ages 13 to 17 at meatpacking plants in eight states. The firm, Packers Sanitations Services Inc., was the target of a federal Department of Labor investigation that found 102 children working illegally, including 26 at the Cargill meatpacking plant at Dodge City.

“Appallingly, many states are now racing to loosen — not tighten — child labor laws.

“Arkansas, for example, in March did away with the requirement that the state’s Division of Labor had to give permission or verify the age of children under 16 to be employed. Although those under 14 still cannot be employed, the ending of age verification requirements is an invitation to child labor abuses.

“Other states are making similar moves.

“Iowa, for example, has made it legal for teenagers to work in meatpacking plants and children as young as 16 to bartend. New Jersey and New Hampshire have also lowered ages for some types of work. The argument goes that work builds character and that overly restrictive laws prevent young people from fully developing their capacity to earn a living.

“But such arguments stink like the stuff you find on a slaughterhouse floor.”

~~~~~

"In the early 1900s, Hine traveled across the United States to photograph preteen boys descending into dangerous mines, shoeless 7-year-olds selling newspapers on the street and 4-year-olds toiling on tobacco farms. Though the country had unions to protect laborers at that time — and Labor Day, a federal holiday to honor them — child labor was widespread and widely accepted. The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that around the turn of the century, at least 18 percent of children between the ages of 10 and 15 were employed," according to the Washington Post.

Mother Jones would say after the march, "I held up their mutilated hands and showed them to the crowd and made the statement that Philadelphia's mansions were built on the broken bones, the quivering hearts and drooping heads of these children. That their little lives went out to make wealth for others. That neither state or city officials paid any attention to these wrongs. That they did not care that these children were to be the future citizens of the nation."

Many industries hid the fact that they employed children. They took advantage of poor families, such as Eddie Lou's family. Eddie Lou's father had died and left her mother with 11 children and no income. Her mother was forced to work at the cotton mill for $4.50 a week. Eddie Lou and four siblings also worked there and they were all together paid $4.50 as well. Eddie Lou and her youngest siblings would eventually be sent to an orphanage because her mother wasn't able to provide for them.

“If we don’t hold the line on child labor, we risk losing one of the things the has sets us apart as a nation founded not only on laws, but of morals,” wrote McCoy. “Of course children provide cheap labor, but business profits should not be the gauge of our society. In addition to the mental and physical tolls that children suffer in jobs that are inappropriate — and can you really imagine a 16-year-old wiping down the bar and asking what’s your poison? — there’s also a danger these children will become primary breadwinners for their families, with their educations coming a distant second.”

The children at the march carried banners that said, "We want more schools and less hospitals" and "We want time to play."

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

#Labour Day #NCLC #Child Labour

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runawaycarouselhorse · 3 months

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Billie Lou Watt (60's voice actor for Astro Boy and Kimba) reflecting on meeting Osamu Tezuka:

Dr. Tezuka came to New York once, to the studios, and he was very pleased. He spoke almost no English and I spoke absolutely no Japanese, so please don't expect me to recall any conversations we might have had. (Laughs) It seems when they saw the dubs back in Japan they were very happy. Actually, we were told they flipped! I was very taken with the man. He was soft-spoken and very stately. He was a doctor and loved all living things. I found out that when he did Kimba he went to Africa to research the animals. This gave me a longing to go to Africa. When my friends found out that I wanted to go on a picture safari of Africa they wanted to join me. But, one by one, they backed out. So I went myself. I loved it. I saw the Serengeti, Kenya... I saw all the beauty of Africa. They have white lions there for real. Unfortunately, they are in South Africa, and I refused to aid in their tourism for obvious reasons. But now that things are changing, I may go and see the lions. Tezuka imbued me with the desire to go to Africa.

#I love her so so so much #Billie Lou Watt #Kimba the White Lion #Astro Boy #Osamu Tezuka #she'll always be my English dub Astro and I grew up with her Kimba

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onedayimgonnasnap · 1 year

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Characters Whom I believe that would be that one person “You got games on your phone” if MC brought a working phone with a charger and some how wifi-

Warning: Crack and Cursing

Lou: I feel like he’d be an iPad kid if he was born in the modern human world and they gave him freedom.

No scratch that he’d def be an iPad kid-. He the type of bitch to get addicted to candy crush on your phone Ngl-

Also he has taken a couple of photos of you while you weren’t looking

—-

Fenn: I feel like he tried to get into it- But his nails were to long to touch the screen. So now he uses you to scroll down to watch the things he wants to see.

*tap tap tap* “TREASURE ITS NOT WORKING- 🙁”

“Bitch use your fingers- YOUR SKIN NOT YOURE NAILS-“

—-

Toa: Pretends to thing it’s stupid and is a boomer about it; “Why is everyone so interested in that square, it is no use to me”

But the stupid bitch uses it to google the stupidest things ever. “What kind of pigs eat people?” “How long does it take to drown an ant?” “Do midgets have night vision?”

And he is to embarrassed to ask for it so he waits when you’re off guard to ask Knight to get it for him.

Also your photo album is now full of blurry pictures because he takes photos like someone taking a video of a school fight.

—-

Guy: Bitch has the audacity to take your phone and walk off with it. And he gets mad when others are using it-

Also he’s a fucking dinosaur and has no idea how to take a photo. But no one should teach him because i feel like you’d unleash an iPad kid onto the world.

—-

Lynt: Likes it when you put baby lullaby music on there. Also has accidentally ended up on the dark web and has never used it again.

—-

Roy: The moment you gave him your phone he starts checking everything- Your messages, your search history, every single app.

Not because he’s nosey but because he’s curious on how to work the phone.

Also your album is full of flowers, he’s changed your background to flowers and he may or may not have accidentally changed your passcode and not remember the password.

—-

Lance: Didn’t care at first, but got into the game called “Among us” and you let him use voice chat and oh boy.

“OI IM NOT THE IMPOSTER STFU-“

You didn’t even teach him how to swear he learned from the 5th graders who he is playing with.

Also got pissed when you put a child lock on your phone from him.

—-

Rio: Doesn’t know how it works and is definitely “You got games on your phone” type of person.

You can put Subway surfers for him to play and he’s get addicted. Also he picked up the cringiest gen z slang to impress you.

“MC that’s not poggers of you to do :(“

—-

#court of darkness #lance ira #Lance ira x reader #lynt akedia #toa qelsum #lynt Akedia x reader #toa qelsum x reader #guy avari #guy avari x reader #rio voleri #Rio Voleri x reader #Fenn lexure #fenn lexure x reader #roy invidia #roy invidia x reader #court of darkness x reader

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tillthelandslide · 8 months

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Same For You (7) Hate Missing You

Series Masterlist

(6) The Dinner

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

A/n: hi everyone 👋 just wanted to say a huge thank you to all the support on this series so far, it means a lot to me. I hope you continue to enjoy it, let me know what you think, my inbox is always open so share your thoughts, predictions, what you'd like to see, who you're rooting for, whatever 💞 also once again, next part will be posted once this reaches 100 notes :) - love Lou

She had been avoiding both of them like the plague. She had seen Charli a few times, the girls going for drinks a few times, but neither of the men were mentioned once, a clear rule y/n set down the moment they were with each other. She was thankful Charli didn't mention it, she didn't press, didn't demand a reason as to why she didn't want to talk about either of the guys. She had even spoken to George a few times and seen him twice, the two of them chilling in his and Charli's house and sharing ideas for songs, Y/n sharing some demos that George took to work on.

The distance didn't stop either of them from constantly texting or calling her. They both started to get worried when she took a while to reply, or didn't pick up the phone. She would text back hours after their messages were sent, with an excuse, although most of the time they were in fact true, such as "sorry been writing with this artist" which was true, but she had only allowed said artists to book time in with her so she could distract herself.

She was currently sitting in the garage, working with an independent artist called Emma, she had written a song for her and they were currently recording it. She currently was sat alone at her computer, they were taking a quick break so Emma could smoke in her back garden, outside the shed. She's distracted by the buzzing of her phone, Matty's name lighting up her screen with a picture they had taken from the day they got coffee. She had since changed his name, seeing "bestie" every time he called was just confusing her further.

Emma walks back in as she stares at her phone.

"You can take that if you want" she says and y/n shakes her head.

"no it's okay" she says, turning her phone over so their picture isn't staring back at her.

"Nothing important" she tells herself this although she knows it's a lie. She missed hearing his excited voice on the other side of the phone, missed the late night phone calls when he'd ramble about music and art. They finish the song and Emma leaves, by that point it's pretty late at night.

When she eventually looks at her phone she sees 6 missed calls from Matty and 4 messages, 4 missed calls from Ross and 6 messages. She sighs deeply texting both of them the same message.

"Sorry was in the studio working with a girl called Emma" it only takes a minute to receive two texts back.

"Been working a lot recently, don't wear yourself out love... P.s miss you xx" - Ross

"No worries darling, look at you go aye! Miss you xx" - Matty

She ignores both messages, leaving her home studio and returning to her house.

The truth is she misses them both, so much. But she needed time to think, not that she had done much of that. She had been making herself busy so she was distracted and it didn't leave much time to think. She wasn't doing herself any favors and she knew that.

❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀ •°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀

The band do their usual set in the usual bar in Soho, the same, usual people standing right at the front. Her eyes flick to the back table where they're usually sat, but she doesn't spot them. Charli is sat with George, and their overlapping friendship groups. Carly and Adam are even here. But they aren't there. Ross and Matty...

They hadn't come. She shouldn't really be surprised, not only had she been avoiding the two of them but they were an internationally famous band who clearly had better things to do than seeing a small band perform. She knew they were on a break from touring, hence why she had seen so much of them recently, but she still wouldn't be surprised if they had other things to do.

The cheers from the crowd don't feel as good, not when she knows they aren't there screaming along. She didn't know what she expected, she had brought this upon herself. When they get off the stage her band goes to greet their friends, but she exits the building, grabbing a cigarette from her pack hidden in her pocket. She shakes the thought that she was being rude away from her brain. She hadn't officially met Carly yet and felt bad that she hadn't immediately went over and introduced herself, but she needed a fag, right now.

The door opens behind her and a pair of arms wrap around her frame, a sweet scent following behind them. Charli.

"You smashed it as always" she says, pulling back from the hug.

"Thanks" she murmurs, taking a sharp inhale of her cigarette.

Charli doesn't mention either of the men and she doesn't know whether she's thankful or whether she wants to hear the reason they're not here. She stays quiet, silently smoking her cigarette. The dark haired girl's hands finds her shoulders, pulling Yn so she's facing her. She had hoped they'd be here, that she was forced to see them, she could tell herself it was out of her control, that she couldn't do anything about it. She could pretend she had no other choice, when in reality she just wanted to see them. Being without them both, was torture.

"Hey are you okay? What's going on with you?" She says and y/n sighs deeply. She wants to tell her, she wants to tell her everything. She knew she wouldn't judge and truly she was the only person she could see who wouldn't hate her for the whole situation. The band would say she's messing up their chances. George would probably feel entitled to tell his friends, for they were his best friends in the whole world. And she didn't have anyone else to tell. She couldn't tell either of the men in question because they wouldn't understand and she could (and probably would) lose both of them.

"I'm just tired Char... Promise" she drops her cigarette and allows Charli to pull her into a hug.

"If you need to tell me anything... I'm here" she says and y/n mumbles a thank you. One thing that the absence of Matty and Ross had caused was her close bond with Charli, she was thankful for that.

"Now come join us" so she does, she sits with Carly and Adam, introducing herself to the smiley girl. She compliments Y/n and her band, mentioning "the guys wouldn't shut about you... you put them to shame really" it makes her laugh and the three begin talking about all sorts. Matty and Ross slip from her mind a little bit, not fully disappearing but slightly less present. The group laughs and has fun and she's distracted again. Blissfully blocking both men out. Fairly successfully too.

❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀ •°❀°•❀•°❀°•❀

A pile of scrunched up papers are scattered around her, the studio floor barely visible through the white sheets. She arrived early this morning, surprised to see George already at the sound board, editing bits and bobs. She has avoided both Ross and Matty for exactly 6 days now, but she knew today that would come to an end, she'd be forced to be near them and she knew that her unclouded mind would be foggy again and she'd be right back at square one, just as confused as ever.

One particular loud sigh (among other annoyed, restless and agitated noises) draws George from his work at the computer, spinning around in the chair and looking at her.

She looked tired, bags were under her eyes and he noticed how her thumb on her left hand was bleeding slightly. He leaves the room, going to the bathroom of the studio and grabbing a sterile wipe and a plaster. He approaches her slowly, leaning down and sitting with her and even that doesn't draw her attention away from her notebook. He gently takes hold of her left hand, bringing it towards him, and that's what makes her look at him.

"What are you doing?" She asks, eyes briefly drifting away from her writing and landing on George's hand. It's a funny sight, his huge hand, the most gentle she had ever seen it, holding hers as he cleaned her abuse. It was a sweet moment, between two friends and she was thankful for it.

"You're bleeding love" the "oh" that falls from her lips before her eyes are back on her book and she's withdrawing her hand from him, tells him everything he needed to know. This was a common occurrence for her, they hadn't spent enough time alone together for him to know what she was like when she was anxious or agitated, he didn't know the tell tell signs of such feelings. But he takes her hand back into his as he tears the packet with his teeth.

"Let me do this for you okay?" He asks and she nods, allowing him to clean the wound, the blood (although not very much) sleeps into the wet fabric and it stings slightly. She flinches and he murmurs a sorry.

"Talk to me... What's up?" He asks. Truth is he didn't know her all that well, but he wanted to, just like Ross and Matty... Well maybe not just like them. He wanted to be her friend. They had spent a fair amount of time with each other but it was mostly for work. Of course, she was easy to get along with and George saw just as Matty and Ross did, that she was kind and a good person to be around. He cared for her already, he supposes that was something obvious about her, she drew people in, even just as friends. They wanted to know her.

"Nothing what are you talking about?" He furrows his eyebrows at her and scoffs.

"The scrunched up and ripped paper around the room says otherwise love"

"I just can't get this song right okay?" She says and he nods as he wraps her thumb in a plaster, letting her take her hand back.

"thanks"

"No worries... Whats the song about?" She thinks it's the first time in the whole time they've been working together, that someone has asked what the meaning of the song was and it throws her off for a second.

"I want to write a song about... how I always go after the wrong guy... Always end up getting my heart broken" she explains and George nods. He pulls her notebook and reads the words out loud.

"My brain twists and turns Craving for a touch that burns Every time I try to put myself first I drown in this pain, my heart might burst I wish it didn't have to hurt so much I'm in a million pieces, my soul I can't touch I'm screaming inside, my emotions I can't clutch" his eyebrows furrow, thinking about he words, before he looks up at her.

"what's wrong with this? It's good"

"i don't feel like it captures how I feel" he nods along.

"how do you feel?" It's a simple question, but the answer is far from simple, she doesn't know how to explain it, which is why she thinks she's struggling to get it into the paper in front of her.

"Okay... We're doing this then?" She asks and George looks confused, furrowing his eyebrows at her.

"What do you mean?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise it doesn't leave this room"

"of course... Now explain" she's thankful that he's there for her, that he wants to know. She's aware this is the first person she would've even hinted at how she was feeling.

"So I always seem to go for guys who just break my heart... And now... Hypothetically there might be a guy who is so god damn good and pure... And what... What if I don't deserve that? What if the reason I loved so hard before but ultimately got my heart broken .. is actually because I just don't deserve it and what if... I'm pushing him away because it might actually be good for once" she asks and George frowns.

"that's what I want to write about"

"Well purely hypothetically... If said guy is perhaps one of my best mates... Hypothetically I'd say you do deserve that love" she shakes her head at his words. She briefly wonders which one he's referring to, but shakes the thought from her mind.

"listen y/n... If you loved the wrong person that deeply, imagine how deeply you'll love the right one... And if they're the right person... They'll love you just as much"

"you're quite wise George Daniel" she leans her head onto his shoulder as a silent thank you and he smiles. She thinks about mentioning Matty, explaining that she felt something (although what and how deeply was not clear yet) but before she gets the chance, the door opens revealing both Matty and Ross who both smile at the sight of the two of them. Suddenly they're both right there again, stabbing at her heart and mystifying her brain , she realises her attempt to avoid them, to ice them out was futile because they're there, clouding her every thought, painting her brain with beautiful hews of Ross and Matty.

"Are you bonding?" Matty's voice rings out and both of them groan as they stand up.

"Shut up" George says as he returns to the sound desk. Matty walks towards her and is quick to pull her into a hug.

"hi" he says smiling down at her.

"Hi" she smiles back. Matty leaves to look at what George has been working on and she takes the time to walk over to Ross, who is smiling widely down at her.

"Hello stranger" he says and she feels guilty immediately but allows him to pull her to him, hugging her tightly. His lips graze her cheek quickly, not able to help himself. He breathes in her hair as he mumbled a "miss you". She's half expecting him to say something about how she was clearly avoiding him but he doesn't and she's unbelievably thankful for that.

She doesn't tell him she misses him back, she just smiles into his chest, finally pulling away when she hears Matty and George talking.

"How was the show on Saturday? Sorry I couldn't make it, Jamie needed me for a dirty hit thing" Matty explains and she smiles.

"Yeah it was good... George and Char came... And Hann and Carly too" she says and Matty raises his eyebrows. Her voice is slightly withheld, withdrawn, distant. He frowns at her, it was like two strangers talking to each other, like this conversation was more of a duty rather than between two friends who were genuinely interested in catching up.

"Good...." He says turning back to George who frowns up at him. She goes back to the papers, collecting the crumpled up ones and discarding them, Ross joins her. And his presence is suddenly too close for her so she stands immediately.

"I'm going outside for a bit" she announces, leaving before anyone has a chance to say anything.

When she's gone, the three guys share a look, and it's a matter of time before one of them speaks up.

"what's going on with her?" Both Ross and Matty ask George at the same time. He feels like a deer caught in the headlights. He quite successfully feigns ignorance, shrugging his shoulders. But then he feels it's not fair on his best friends.

"Maybe you should talk to her instead of asking me" George says, turning back to his screen.

"Mate I've been trying all week..." Matty speaks up

"she's been busy mate" Ross says and Matty's eyes find his.

"You know that's bullshit... She doesn't need to work with other people, she's doing this for a reason" he then argues. Ross cant argue with his logic, he can't find a fault to his reasoning, because it was true. It was obvious she was avoiding both of them, but neither knew why.

"I don't know what you want me to say" George says. Matty is then leaving before Ross gets a chance to attend to her first. He wanted to be the one to console her if she needed it, but of course Matty beat him to it.

"Just leave them mate, trust me... You're good. She's fine" Ross doesn't know what George means, but he shrugs and sits down anyway, eyes trained on the door just waiting for the moment it opens and she's back again.

Matty finds her smoking, nearly at the end of her cigarette. His eyebrows raise at the sight, not knowing she smoked. He doesn't comment though. He stays silent for a second.

"You've been avoiding me... Why?" He asks abruptly making her turn to look at him before turning back away from him.

"I haven't Matty... I've been busy" again it feels like a stranger is talking to him, not someone who he was considering to be one of his closest friends now. Not someone who got him, who he cared deeply for.

"If you say so love..." He inhales a puff of his own cigarette and suddenly her eyes are on him, watching as he breathes it out deeply. She's missed him, that much was obvious.

"Enjoy the vinyl I sent you?" He asks and she nods, eyes trained on the cigarette lying limply in-between his teeth as he talks, his hands clasped around his phone as he types something out. He doesn't see her nod so his eyes snap up, awaiting an answer.

"Yeah... Been playing it a lot recently actually" she says, and it sounds like her again, not withdrawn or pulled back, just her. His friend, his y/n.

"What's your favorite?" He asks and she pauses to think. He shoves his phone back in his pocket, fingertips clasping the cigarette again, his other hand dropping to his side. She suddenly feels the urge to take his hand in hers but she doesn't.

"I love all of them... But Sad To Breathe or Boyhood are my favorites at the moment" she says and Matty smiles.

"I'll tell Amber... She'll love that" she smiles at that.

"Sunshine Baby is a great song too" his eyes sparkle, and they smile at each other. He steps forward and she lets him, he drops his cigarette and so does she as he wraps his arms around her.

"Missed you, y'know" he says, face burying into her hair.

"Missed you too Matty" she admits. He doesn't ask why she was avoiding her again, he doesn't bring it back up and she doesn't know how to feel about it.

"You can avoid me all you want... But don't do that to Ross, he doesn't deserve that" his words are like a ton of bricks falling on her and she doesn't know how to react. So she doesn't, she just nods and murmurs a silly little "sorry"

"Let's get back inside" he says and she agrees, walking back to the studio with his arm hooked over her shoulders as he asked questions about the girl she was working with.

"I actually ended up writing a song after working with her that I really like" Ross and George catch that part of their conversation, both smiling at her before George speaks up.

"Let's see then" he says, she retrieves her notebook from where she discarded it, flicking to the right page, she wonders whether she should show them this. Would this reveal too much? she thinks. She hands the book to George first, his eyes flick over the words as Matty and Ross watch. She stands next to him, bringing her thumb that is wrapped in the plaster to her mouth before realising she couldn't abuse it like usual.

Matty notices the plaster, so does Ross, both wondering what happened. The injury was minor, but the both of them were still worried.

George's eyes find hers and he raises his eyebrows, silently asking "you sure?" she nods at him and he nods back.

"I like it" he confirms, handing her back the book. She passes it to Matty, him and Ross read it together.

Hate Missing You: I'm drowning in sadness without you, can you hear me? Hold my breath and count to three, who am I without you? You're the part of me I cannot see, won't you just let it be? I miss the feeling of being home, I feel lost without you I miss you but the feeling of my heartbeat makes me nervous That way you smile and my heart skips a beat, it makes me dizzy Sorry for the distance, it's tearing me apart, it's hard And there's no way to return your message from my heart So I make myself busy, giving me an excuse as why I can't see you, I can't choose between two halves of myself

They're lost for words, both looking at her, not speaking. She feels unbelievably nervous, awaiting a response that doesn't come for a few moments.

"This is.... its good Y/n/n" Matty says, she senses that its not all he has to say. If she could creep into his mind she'd see all his thoughts and she'd notice there was so many of them. Who was this about? Is this really how she felt? Is she okay? How can he help?

"It's powerful, raw.... its good love" Ross then says, but again she senses that he wants to say more. He wanted to know who this was about. Who got to have these hauntingly beautiful words written about them? Who was the one she missed? And how could he take the pain away?

They begin working on the song, Ross records some bass lines in the absence of Clara, Matty and Y/n both record some guitar bits and Y/n also records some piano bits. George adds in some simple drum beats.

Things with Matty seemed okay, almost back to normal. But things with Ross were suddenly different and she wasn't sure whether she liked it or not. Sure, lingering touches that screamed "I want you" were still shared, and looks that shouted "my soul yearns for you" happened more often than not. But ever since having dinner at Charli and George's house, ever since she kissed his cheek and left him on her door step, ever since she woke up from that blissful dream, something had shifted. They seemed to be avoiding things more, he hesitated before making his usual comments, comments that were once flirty seemed a little bit apprehensive now.

She knows he's only doing what she said, she told him they couldn't, so he was trying to respect that. But sometimes, when that thought slipped from his mind, the normal things that were 'them" happened, like those touches and stares. But even through that, something felt off. Her mind was still reeling from him holding her thigh with such a grip that it was as if she was his anchor keeping him on the ground. She swears she can still feel the way his thumb grazed the skin, even 6 days later, 6 torturous days she spent avoiding him. And she'd be lying if she said she hadn't found herself staring at those hands of his one too many times when he played the bass.

She excuses herself from the studio and the three men, explaining that she just needed a moment alone. They had been working for what felt like hours now and she couldn't handle one more of those longing looks from Ross, or one more of those eyebrow raises from Matty when he caught her staring at Ross.

She finds her coat that she had hung up upon her arrival, slipping her arms through it and going outside. Her hand finds the inside pocket, finding the pack of cigarettes she reserved for special occasions like this. When she was well and truly confused and stressed. She lights the cigarette easily, she takes three long drags before the door opens.

She knew it was only a matter of time before one of them found an excuse to join her, despite her request to be alone. She rolls her eyes slightly as she looks at Ross, who has his eyebrows raised at her, eyes flicking towards the cigarette in-between her fingertips.

She chuckles and shrugs her shoulders. He hadn't seen her smoke before and it was clear it wasn't a common occurrence, and that fact alone makes him wonder why she needed one now.

"Are you okay love?" He asks and he truly knows something is up when she just nods and deters the conversation.

"How'd you manage to get away from them?" She asks and he laughs, pulling his own pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one. She gives him the same look he gave her, sure she had seen pictures of him smoking, but she had thought he was more of a social smoker. This might have proved that, that was not the case.

He raises his eyebrows back and says a quick "sorry to disappoint you" which she just shakes her head at, for she was also smoking so she didn't care if he did too. It was actually kind of hot. Oh for God sake woman stop.

"Matty got a phone call so I slipped out and said I was going for a fag... George didn't care..." Ross explains and she nods.

His eyes wander over her features, taking in the way she's breathing deeply, in and out, smoke falling from her lips and nostrils. She smokes effortlessly and Ross can't help but like the sight. She looked good, as always, slightly tired but just as beautiful as the first time she took his breath away. But something was off, that much was clear.

"Are we okay?" He asks and she nods, but doesn't speak.

"Maybe try that again... But more convincing" he says and she can't help but laugh. She takes one last puff and drops the cigarette to the floor, stubbing it out with her booted foot.

She steps towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, needing a hug from him more than anything. The door that was cracked open, is now swinging open, nearly snapping off it's hinges.

"I'm sorry I've been off and avoiding you... Just didn't know how to act around you" she admits into his chest. He forgets about the cigarette he was nursing, dropping it to the floor and letting it burn out as he allowed his arms to wrap around her. He rests his head on top of hers, breathing her in. The new mix of her with the addition of tobacco is even more addicting and he can't help but sigh.

"Don't be sorry... It's hard, I've felt it too... all day in fact" he admits and she feels slightly more at ease at that.

"I know you said we can't... And that's fine... But I can't keep acting like this, it feels wrong. If I wanna hug you I wanna hug you. If I want to hold your hand I want to hold your hand.... Is that okay?" She knows she should shake her head, say no, it's not okay. But she couldn't help herself. She was addicted to him and he was even more addicted to her.

So she nods, she pulls back to look at him and nods, placing her head back against his lower chest and hugging him tightly.

"So what does that mean then?" He asks, his own way of saying what are we? They clearly weren't just friends, but she wasn't allowing them to be truly more than that. They were in some kind of limbo between both of those identifiers.

"We're just us... Is that okay?" And he nods, and smiles widely down at her. He could deal with that for now. It was better than the alternative which was not having her in any way, and he couldn't live like that.

"And Matty?" Ross asks, and she raises her eyebrows, unsure what he was getting at.

"I know you said nothing is going on... but I cant help but sense something there... if you say its nothing its nothing... Just be honest with me, I can take it" Ross says and she nods, sighing deeply.

"I'm still figuring that out..." its the first time she's been truthful about Matty, not just to Ross but to herself.

"Okay... I can deal with that" he says, smiling down at her.

They return to the studio finishing up the song. By the time they leave, its dark outside, George had bid them farewell maybe 20 minutes earlier, hugging her tightly and telling her he was there for her if she needed. The exchange didn't go unnoticed by the remaining men. London is cold but the lights sparkle and she gets that childish glow in her eyes as she walks down the steps from the studio. Ross and Matty can't take their eyes off her but for once she doesn't notice. Matty breaks first, eyes falling from her to Ross.

He notices the glint in his eyes and the way his dimples show deeply, the way his eyes crease. He's seen a similar look before, but nothing of that calibre. Matty's smile drops, he had to stop this. He had to.

That look. That look on his best friend's face, it told him everything he needed to know. That he liked her perhaps more than Matty did, maybe not, but he would always, always put his friends needs and desires before his own.

The problem was, Matty was unsure he'd be able to stop. He didn't know if it was possible. But he'd try... even if it destroyed him.

"Hey um" he hesitates, their eyes fall on him "you guys go ahead, I've left something upstairs" he says. Ross frowns at him.

"You sure mate? We can wait" yn nods too.

"No it's okay... go" he smiles at his friends and then he begins walking up the steps. They begin walking down the path, with Matty watching. Watching the way he made her laugh, watching the way one arm came to rest against her shoulders, watching the way, she, the one he so desperately wanted, seemed right in his arms... At home.

Note: low-key don't really like this chapter... But oh well. The only bit I actually like is the george x yn bit :(

(8) Studio Sessions

#same for you the 1975 series #the 1975 #ross macdonald #matty healy #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x reader #ross macdonald x reader #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald fanfiction #ross macdonald fanfic #ross macdonald fan fic #matty healy fan fic #the 1975 fan fiction

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