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kyle-valenti · 3 years

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highschool milucho au drabble for @laufire

Lunch period arrives what feels like all too late after a hectic morning where Michael Guerin had punched Wyatt Long in the face for Maria. While she still thought he was an idiot for having done it, she downs a brownie for sustenance and brings Rosa along outside with her to go check on him. Unsurprisingly he was in the spot she had expected, clearly having ditched at least one class prior, and Rosa skipped over to him and roughly grabbed his hand to check on the bruise. Rosa scoffed, putting her hand to her chest with what was only half-kidding offense. “You fought him without me there? En serio? How dare you!”

Sitting up a little more against the metal bleacher column he had been leaning against, Michael gave a casual shrug. There’s still a smirk on his face as he does so. “Can’t help it if you’re always late to wake up, Ortecho.”

“He was dumb.” Maria said, a scolding look on her face that didn’t quite match her eyes. Both sat down without caring about chairs, Rosa too lazy and Maria liking to feel the earth underneath her. The shade provided overhead was just enough and while the teachers usually checked underneath here, the school was luckily short staffed due to a field trip. Also lucky was the lack of campus security in a small town.

“No, he was right.” Rosa huffed. “Fuck Wyatt Long.”

“Thank you,” said Michael, turning to Maria with a smug look in response. Maria rolled her eyes, but Rosa still looked angry and displeased at the idea of Wyatt Long being within feet of Maria, because she continued, “Are you gonna hate me if I run over and slap him?”

“Yes!” Maria exclaimed. “Stop with the violence, you two! He’s not worth it.”

Rosa made a disgruntled sound, muttering, “Pacifist.”

“I am a lover, yes.” Maria replied with a teasing tone; one that Michael couldn’t help but use to flirt with a sultry, “Tell me more.”

She hit his arm and although the other girl rolled her eyes, Rosa was still distinctly smiling as Michael winked Maria’s way.

“Gross, stop.” She huffed, no meanness in her voice. “Even Kyle Valenti thinks we’re dating.”

“Kyle?” Rosa laughed. “Kyle’s not remotely observant enough to think that.”

Michael made a noise at that. “He was just being an ass because I commented on how he was clearly in love with Alex Manes.”

Maria glared now. “Be nice to my favorite gay and the clearly repressed football jock.”

“Here I thought you were about to pick a favorite bi.” Michael joked.

“Why would she?” Rosa challenged with a smirk. “I’m right here.”

“Right,” Michael drawled sarcastically. “Just because you two have sleepovers--,”

“Oh my god, you two.” Maria snapped, but that was the wrong decision because the two mischievous partners-in-crime looked at her with sudden interest. Michael was the first to pounce. “We making you uncomfortable, Deluca?”

He’s all but grinning, not even hiding behind a smirk, eyes alive. Even Rosa is clearly amused and holding onto laughter.

“Why the hell did everyone have to go on that museum trip?” Maria huffed, trying to ignore both of them and the feelings that rose up when the direct attention of two people who hated the world but liked her was suddenly her way. She definitely needed more friends, or at least less nerdy ones. “I need Liz.”

“You’d really use my baby sister to get out of flirting?” Rosa asked, letting out the laughter now.

Maria could feel her cheeks heat and she folded her arms stubbornly. “I’m about to use Kyle to get out of this. Luckily I have tests to study for.”

“What test?” Rosa replied, one eyebrow arched. “We have all the same classes.”

“And you suddenly pay attention?”

Rosa gave in with a playfully exasperated expression. “Okay, okay, mi vida; we’ll stop.” Then, amending as she looked conspiratorially at Michael, she said, “Well. I’ll stop.”

“I’ll try.” Michael shrugged, pretending to look as thought it would be heavy work. “I have considerably less self-control.”

Quirking her head, Rosa retorted. “Challenge accepted.”

Michael raised his eyebrows in response, before laughing. “Yeah okay.”

“Why am I always babysitting you two?” Maria sighed. “Please, tell me.”

“You’re the one who brought the pot brownies to school.” Rosa pointed out.

She couldn’t say much to that. Home had been stressful with her mother’s sudden memory lapses when it came to finances and worrying about colleges after SAT scores was even more anxiety inducing. If she was rich and privileged like Isobel Evans, maybe she could afford some xanax, but in the meantime her anxiety attacks would have to be treated herbally. Childishly, she pointed at Michael. “He’s the one who brought the flask.”

Definitely unapologetic, he shrugged. “Less teachers, more fun.”

“Fun?” Rosa asked. “We haven’t had fun in a while.”

“True.” Michael added, lighting up even further. Maria groaned. “Is this another ‘steal the principal’s desk’ situation?”

“No, but that was fun.” Rosa said thoughtfully. “We should have more… teenage fun. We have the drugs, the alcohol, now--,”

“I am not having sex under the Roswell High bleachers!”

Rosa gasped before laughing awkwardly, and Michael’s grin took an even brighter turn. “Wow, Deluca, I see where your mind’s really at.” Then he turned to Rosa, who noticeably looked pinker, and paused. Slowly, he inquired. “Do you want me to go?”

“No.” Rosa replied. It wasn’t like she and Maria belonged to each other, true, but something about the mischievous Michael Guerin staying around after Maria’s slip seemed to create palpable tension. Fumbling, the beautiful brunette added, “I mean we’ve all kissed before forever ago, right? Why don’t you pick your favorite bi, Maria.”

“I’m not sure choosing favorites qualifies as fun.” She retorted, trying not to withdraw into herself. She was safe with them, she knew that, but it still felt dangerous somehow. She looked at Michael. “No sudden objections?”

Michael scoffed. “You actually think I’m going to object to being kissed by two hot girls? I’m only human, Deluca.”

Biting her lip after rolling her eyes, Maria tried not to think about how attractive her last name was every time he said it, because that was such a ridiculous thing to find attractive. Rosa had picked up on the habit, although used it far more rarely, and now she was stuck in between them.

“We don’t have to--,” Rosa began. Shaking her head, Maria came to an abrupt decision. “You decide who goes first.”

“Ladies first.” Michael declared congenially.

When Rosa turned to Maria she looked hesitant and unsure. Charged moments weren’t exactly new to them, but they didn’t exactly kiss outside of spin-the-bottle or seven-minutes-in-heaven games. Any heterosexual excuse to be made, somewhere between Rosa’s Catholicism and Maria’s fear of being vulnerable to someone.

Only two seconds pass before the hesitation is over and then Rosa’s lips are soft and inviting like Maria remembered, tasting of cinnamon gum and tajin mango suckers. It’s an addictive flavor, especially with the flood of emotions it foretells every time. At first it’s closer to chaste than not, given the company, but like many times before it deepens until they hear Michael shift and quickly break apart.

Maria expects some dumbass comment about not needing to stop for his sake, but either he’s too turned on to make it or he simply knows better for the moment. Shockingly, it seems like the second choice with the almost exposed look he has on his face now. For whatever reason, maybe because of his general outward mask, she had thought that while she’d be safe this would still be a fun game to him and not something where his eyes would be soft and his body language almost nervous.

More than anything else, that makes her choose to kiss him first.

With Michael she can only taste the cheap whiskey he’s been drinking all afternoon, but his skin smells like desert rain, and it’s quite possibly the most confusing contradiction for him she could ever conceive. The shape of his lips might be a contrast to Rosa’s but he still uses them quite well and by the time she pulls back out of mindfulness for Rosa, she’s breathless yet again.

“Obviously I’m not actually choosing.” Maria said primly, trying to cover the fact that she had to clear her throat.

“Well I feel used.” Michael teased, but a miracle had happened because it looked like he was blushing too. Michael Guerin. Blushing.

Rosa made an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “As if you’re not getting off to this tonight.”

“Rosa!” Maria snapped, actual hurt rising. It was silly to be upset about offhand humor from either of these two, she knew that. They both felt more than they would ever let on and jokes and sarcasm were their defense for almost everything. Rosa went to apologize, but the overwhelming feeling in her chest was too much. “Don’t. I’m just—I’m going to go sober up.”

They both called after her, but she ignored them both.

“I should really avoid weed, huh?” Rosa deadpanned sadly.

He raised his flask. “I can’t say anything. You gonna follow her?”

“You?” she asked without an answer.

“You’re her best friend.” Michael countered, and while it wasn’t technically sexist she still narrowed her eyes at the ‘you’re both girls’ vibe it gave off. Either way, it was still a painful statement and she muttered, “Yeah. Friend.” Michael went to say something—either an apology or a lecture—but Rosa shook her head. “I’ll give her a head start. You should check on her later too, though.”

Michael scoffed. “Come on, Rosa, she doesn’t want me. I’m just a guy she can use to pretend she’s straighter than she is.”

“Ay, you’re dumb.”

“And if she did want both of us?” Michael demanded, turning things back into their normalcy of confrontation and stubbornness.

“At least you’re not ugly.”

That seemed to take the wind out of his sails at least, but he did give her a look. “Glowing endorsement, Ortecho.”

She smirked. “And I guess you know how to kiss for a white boy.”

“That I’ll take.” He replied, chuckling despite himself and looking annoyed about it.

Rosa gave him a two finger salute as she got up to go after Maria.

#michael x maria x rosa #milucho #milucho fic #milucho au #rnm #My fic #drabbles #mutuals

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btsarmyline · 3 years

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✨ get to know me tag ✨

Thanks for tagging me @duck-tan <3 Wow it’s long xD I love your answers!! Haha your little brother as you pet xD

when is your birthday? - April 26th

what is your favourite colour? - Black

what is your lucky number? - I don’t have one ^^

do you have any pets? A cat, named Esmeralda - I just call her Esme

how tall are you? 168 cm

how many pairs of shoes do you own? Oh man.. I don’t know... 15?

favourite song? Can’t answer

favourite movie? Moulin Rouge <3

what would be your ideal partner? You need an answer to that? Look at my blog ;)

do you want children? Yes..

have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? Nope!

what colour socks are you wearing? Just took a shower so no socks!

bath or shower? Shower

favourite type of music? My taste in music varies a LOT, I love most genres ^^

how many pillows do you sleep with? 3, one for my head, one for between my legs sometimes (I have problem with my back) and I have my Cooky pillow which I hug 🥺

which position do you sleep in? On the side.

what don't you like when you're sleeping? Ehm.. not to sleep xD?

what do you have for breakfast? Oatmeal

have you every tried archery? No, but it looks SO COOL

favourite fruit? Hmmmm..... Can I say strawberry even though it’s not a fruit? Mango, passion fruit, orange.. I love fruit!

favourite swear word? I actually swear a lot. I think “fuck” maybe? It’s not that bad a swear word in my country since English is not my native language - so I always want to say sorry to people reading my blog who thinks it’s very rude... I feel like I use fuck a lot, to like just express strong feelings.

do you have any scars? A few yes. I have 4 surgical scars.

are you a good liar? I’m okay

what's your personality type? It changes according to if I took it in Danish or English. But what never changes is I’m for sure introverted ;) The last one I took said: INFJ-T

what's your favourite type of girl? Eh?? I don’t know 😂! I’m not attracted to girls... so every kind of girl is my favourite 🥰! Girlpower!

left or right handed? Right

favourite food? I can’t choose I just love fooood

are you clean or messy? Both actually.

favourite foreign food? I don’t know what foreign food is. In Denmark we eat all kind of food, not just Danish.

how long does it take for you to get ready? What is part of getting ready? From I wake up? 1 hour and 15 minutes because I have to catch up with all the BTS stuff which happened while I was sleeping.

most used phrase? Hmm... probably something in Danish!

are you a good singer? No not really, but I love singing

do you sing to yourself? Yes a lot!

biggest fear? people I love dying...

do you like long or short hair? On myself? I always had long hair.

are you into gossip? Hmm.... sometimes, if it’s good xD

extrovert or introvert? Introvert

favourite school subject? Media and German

what makes you nervous? A hell lot of things... way too much... not being in control, talking in front of people, situations I’m not used to, many people, too much responsibility

who was your first real crush? ... Jungkook

how many piercings do you have? None

how fast can you run? How am I suppose to know 😂

what makes you angry? A lot of things actually.

do you like your own name? Well yeah. It’s fine. Maybe not always the best internationally, but it could be worse

what are your weaknesses? I care too much?

what are your strengths? Dude I don’t know, this is too deep for me right now 😂

what is the colour of your bedspread? Dark blue/purple-ish

colour of your room? The walls are white

Okay, I’m tagging @facepalmmylifeu @tornadoslut @kimchii7 @milkie-yoongi

#tags #personal

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yetremains · 3 years

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“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

#About Yang #Headcanon #(( THERE I DID IT. ALL THE ICE CREAMS ))#(( this was exhausting on the hands and brain i died. ))#(( but also did my best ))

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mysteli · 6 years

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Endless Summer Imperfect - Chapter 14

A/N: Hey so here is another chapter of Imperfect! I’m really loving this series so far and I’m excited to bring more of my ideas to life! Hope you like it and let me know if you wanna be added or removed from the tag list! Even spam my inbox with some theories or thoughts would be pretty cool! 💕

Warning: T

Tags: @princesstopgun @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @mechaspirit @brightpinkpeppercorn @skyila @endlessly-searching-for-you @mind-reader1

Masterlist

Endless Summer Aftermath - Ending 1 Imperfect Chapter 14 - The Law Is The Law

‘I can’t help but listen to the voices in my head’

Logan

Now... a week has passed. An entire week worrying about the love of her life. Watching him get arrested was definitely one of the hardest thing she’s ever had to do. Watching him get dragged away from by his own sister and taken to the one place he feared most. They might not have even kept him in Hartfeld. Jake could be in another state for all she knows. It’s been a week and that is long enough to lose him altogether.

Just when they had hope as well. Enough hope to get Jake’s memories back and then it all just crumbled before their very eyes. Now, the amnesia remains and Jake may never truly know where his heart belongs and that has to be what hurts Logan the most.

But does Logan plan to give up? Hell no. This isn’t over. It can be. There always has to be a way to fix it all and to undo all the damage she’s caused. It’s her responsibility because all of this is her fault. She made the choice in the first place to bring everyone here, thinking she was doing the right thing. But she was wrong. Hell, she’s even the reason this wasteland even exists. But now she just might have the chance to undo it all and save everything and everyone.

Over the last week, Logan has been working her ass off trying to get her grip on Jake’s location, where the hell those cops took him and are keeping him. She tried to visit the local police station in Hartfeld to see if they were holding him there temporarily but when she got there, the cops just refused to tell her anything about Jake and they got weird and frustrated when they heard his name. With no luck, Logan was forced to leave and wander the streets alone, lost in her own damn thoughts.

Since Zahra had discovered that video of Vaaryn at some sort of camp, Logan has also been trying to track the hyper-evolved man down. Of course, not much has worked and even Zahra agreed to help without even really knowing what she’s getting into. Recently, Logan and Zahra have gained a respectable understanding of each other - almost like what they had in La Huerta. Even such a little thing like that is enough to add more hope to Logan’s heart. Honestly, anything will do right now.

When she saw that video on Zahra’s computer, Logan seemed to have a flashback of something that happened the first day she arrived in this puppet paradise. She’s seen a glimpse of that video before and she didn’t really choose to do anything about it, as she was too distraught and regretful about what a terrible thing she’d tone. Then Jake came back and she kind of forgot about it but now, here she is, that video being the only thing on her mind anymore.

Vaaryn clearly reveals in the video while he’s running around desperately and looking for literally anyone, that he remembers everything and it’s almost like he’s calling out to Logan or Diego. That might be just the proof she needs to really tell Diego that everything she told him about La Huerta, about their friends, about Jake... it’s all real and showing Vaaryn may be just the way to convince Diego otherwise. Because when she told him the first time, she could see that hint of doubt in his eyes that revealed he was just a little skeptical of everything she was saying. And Logan doesn’t want that. She wants him to believe her. She wants him to trust her. She wants to him help her with this. Right now, Logan has no choice but to start assembling all of the Catalysts because even Lord knows she can’t do this alone.

Diego hasn’t fully accepted to be on board yet and him and Logan haven’t really talked over the past week. He’s been pretty caught up with himself and ignored all of Logan’s texts and calls. Maybe he hates her. Maybe he thinks she’s crazy but he just didn’t wanna tell her to her face.

Right now, she has herself, Zahra (with not all the knowledge of what’s really going on), maybe Diego and... Mike, who she hasn’t spoken too in a while. She just hasn’t had the courage to call Mike and tell him what happened to Jake. Hell, he probably already knows, as Jake is all over the news. All the tabloids and broadsheets have his face printed everywhere. They claim it’s one of the most successful cases in a long time. Well it’s not really a good case if you’ve arrested the wrong man. Mike has called Logan a few times but she hasn’t answered and Logan has expected an unwanted visit from him sooner rather than later but nothing. Mike hasn’t done anything. Just the odd phone call but that’s it. He’s stayed away, no matter how angry he must be.

Maybe he knows that Logan must be tearing herself apart right now. And she is. About Jake, about everyone. About fucking everything and no matter how much she forces in her heart, she’ll never be able to shake the doubts or regrets that are truly weighing her down.

Now, it’s Thursday evening and Logan is wandering up to visit Raj’s apartment, as he called her up and asked to meet her since he wants to talk to her about something really important. All Logan assumes is that it’s about to her not being at his party, even if it was a week ago. She had a lot of missed calls from him the morning after the party and Logan called him up, assuring him that she was just sick and didn’t feel like going. Raj believed her and trusted her so maybe it isn’t about that.

Maybe he’s having a cooking crisis or something, Logan thinks, as she wanders up to Raj’s front door. Taking a deep breath, she lightly knocks on the door, immediately greeted by the sound of Raj dropping a plate and rushing towards the door. As his footsteps grow louder, Logan’s nerves seem to rise, as she debates what Raj may wanna talk about with her. She hopes it isn’t about the visions. Too much is on her mind already and too many people are asking her that question.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Logan is met face to face with Raj, a pure smile fixed on his face.

“Hey, Lo! Come on in. Welcome to my humble abode!” Raj greets her with a friendly hug before stepping aside to let her enter his apartment.

Logan is instantly stunned at the sight before her. It’s just as modern and homey as you’d expect a house that Raj lives in to be. All of it is an open area, aside from a closed off bedroom and bathroom but everything else is visible to the naked eye. Huge windows board the crisp white walls and the view of Hartfeld on the outside is quite astonishing. Imagine waking up to that every day. In the living room rests a leather, black corner couch and the odd comfy chair sitting on the other side. A transparent glass coffee table is centred in the middle, the view of the giant television reflecting off the top. You wouldn’t expect a college student to have a house this nice but Raj is so unexpected and constantly surprising that Logan can’t find the will to doubt him.

“Wow. You’ve really done well for yourself, haven’t ya?” Logan compliments his home and paces over to where the living room is and places her bag and coat at one side of the couch.

“I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t my parents being a little too generous. It actually belonged to my grandma before she decided to get a proper house. She’s had this place on rent for years.” Raj responds, taking Logan’s coat from her before she can place it on the armrest. “I have a hanger over here.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Logan watches as Raj heads over to place her coat on the nearby hangar and then she collapses onto the corner couch, taking in the soft feeling of the leather against her skin. She sinks into the material and lets her platinum hair fan out on the sofa, as she closes her eyes and lets herself fall into relief. She hasn’t felt this relaxed in weeks.

“Look at you getting comfortable.” Raj suddenly jokes and takes a seat beside Logan, as she is started out of her trance and her ocean eyes snap up in expectance, a curious look slowly overtaking her features.

Raj holds two glasses of juice in his hands. They have a piece of lemon stuck in the edge of the glass and it almost looks like a smoothie.

“Is this alcohol? It’s the middle of the day, Raj.” Logan points out, pointing to the glass and Raj just laughs at her quick judgement.

“No. I promise. It’s just a smoothie. In fact, I made it myself.” Raj assures and Logan proves her trust in him by retrieving the glass from his grasp, a small smile on her face. She takes a deep sip from the drink and is immediately astonished by the amount of the flavours that take control of her taste buds. The sensation burns pleasantly at her throat and the feeling tickles at her tongue.

“Wow, this is amazing. What’s in it?” Logan asks curiously, taking another satisfying sip.

“Glad you like it. And I blended mango, pineapple, orange, lemon and banana.” Raj responds, happy that she’s content with the smoothie in her hands and he likes seeing a rare smile on Logan’s face.

Logan suddenly leans back, placing her drink on the glass coffee table and meeting Raj’s eyes in a curious manor. “So, you said you wanted to talk to me about something important?” She reminds Raj and his chestnut eyes suddenly light up at that. She raises an eyebrow at him questioningly and all he seems to do is rub his hands together, almost like he’s plotting something. “You got that sly look in your eye? What are you planning?”

Raj chuckles at that, a broad smile on his face. “I... think I figured out who the Jake guy is in the visions.” He reveals and Logan doesn’t really react the way he’d expected her to. He kind of expected excitement and maybe some sort of happiness that he’d gotten slightly closer to the truth, especially since her and Jake were involved intimately and Logan said she didn’t have a clue who he was.

Logan’s face just falls and her heart sinks in the process, her bright smile dying completely while the light fades away from her sapphire eyes. She just loses herself in grief and slow tears rise in her eyes, as they start to water uncontrollably. So it was about the visions. Logan doesn’t really wanna talk about Jake, especially having to act oblivious about who the hell he is. She just can’t do it again. Jake could be suffering a cold cell while she’s pretending to not know him instead of doing everything she can to get him back to her. He still doesn’t even remember her and that’s awful to even think about. Having all this hope be lost in a matter of seconds makes her doubt her ability to save him and get him to love her the way he always used to.

Why does Raj wanna talk about Jake? Why now? He probably saw Jake on the news and recognised him from the visions. That seems like the best bet and that’s all Logan can come up with in her scattered head. Nothing even makes sense anymore.

Seeing the sadness building in Logan’s ocean eyes, Raj furrows his brows, his head creasing with concern as he eyes her questioningly. “What’s up? I thought you’d be happier about this.” He assumes, running a hand through the dark curls of his hair an stroking his jaw thoughtfully, searching Logan’s watery eyes for some sort of answer or explanation.

She wipes her tears before they can even rise and buries her face in her hands. “I’m fine. Just tried, that’s all.” Logan assures, sucking in a sharp breath and trying to maintain a steady pace of her breathing, her features relaxing slightly. “Tell me what you found out about Jake.”

“...Can I ask you something first?” Raj requests, a genuinely concerned look in his chocolate eyes and Logan feels guilty for having to lie to him yet again.

Raj was always the one Logan could never lie to. He’s so pure and friendly to literally everyone. That social side can turn into a caring and loving side as well. He’s always been there for Logan and reassured her when things really hit rock bottom. He was always keen to cheer everyone up and to have to lie to him is definitely one of the most difficult things she’s been forced to do. Raj is a true gem. Someone with a heart of gold and he deserves so much better than a friend like Logan Mercer.

“Sure.” Logan agrees rather simply, her eyes fixated on her shaking hands. Just the mention of Jake’s name brings all the pain and all the negative emotions back. Reminding her of everything she’s tried to forget over the past week. She can’t go through it again. Through the process of trying to forget her past and focus on the future.

With a frown, Raj rubs Logan’s arm comfortingly and she tries her best to form a weak smile. He’s almost afraid to ask his mind-messing question. “Are you sure you’ve never known Jake? Like you did in the visions? You told me no but... every time I mention him, there’s never a smile on your face.” He wonders and Logan bites her lip to stop the fear of answering his question from overtaking her completely.

She can’t answer this. She can’t. She can’t lie to Raj. She just doesn’t want to. It’s impossible. To lie to one of her closest friends. To not be able to tell him everything is torture enough and lying to him just seems wrong. It kills her a little more every time she does it and a small piece of her heart shatters with the truth that could have been told. She missed her chance to reveal it all. She can’t risk getting anyone else in danger. Especially not Raj.

But what if she can’t take it anymore?

“Raj, I-“

Before she can get two words out, a sudden sharp pain darts up Logan, whirling around like a tornado of death in her head. Like a volcano erupting in her brain. Like a tsunami flooding her entire mind as failed attempt to clear the negative thoughts in her mind. It’s a pain she’s never felt before. A pain that hurts her physically rather the emotionally. Logan leaps up, startled by the impact of the hurt in her head and she clutches the sides of her head, her head arching back against the couch.

“Logan? Hey, what’s wrong?” Raj questions with an obvious and genuine worry in his tone.

But Logan doesn’t hear him, all her surroundings blurring and fading as her vision and her body start to go cold. Her hair tousles itself from the sweat soaking her as the pain starts to spread like a disease. Her mind starts to clear but the pain never falters and she can’t seem to shake it or regain her conscience. It’s like she’s trapped in her own mind and she hear or see anyone or anything beside herself.

Suddenly, a voice starts to call to her, whispering a vital message to her and she instantly recognises the echo trying to reach her.

“Logan... can you... hear me?”

The voice struggles to get the words out and they are unleashed quite slowly but Logan manages to hear them but the pain from her body stops her from answering straight away. Her words linger in her throat for a moment before finally giving in and surrendering...

“Vaaryn?”

“So you... do hear me.”

It’s Vaaryn. Logan can’t believe it. It’s really Vaaryn. She’d forgotten all about their telepathic connection and she’d also assumed that it stopped working since she thought Vaaryn was gone. But he’s not. He’s alive. He exists. He’s somewhere in this wasteland. Now Logan but needs to figure out where he is so she can get to him and save everyone. She takes a deep breath and tries to communicate with him. His voice sounds close but he feels so far away.

“Vaaryn... do you see me?”

“No... but I hear you.”

What he echoes next stabs Logan right in the heart.

“Tell me please... how is Diego? Is he alright?”

Oh no. Logan can’t tell him the truth. Yet another person she has to lie too. That’s all her life seems to be turning into anymore. A huge meaningless lie. One that could be erased in an instant. Just by the right person and that’s all Logan wants to do. She wants to get rid of this damn mess, before all her memories slip away. And if lying to Vaaryn is a way to do the right thing... then she has to do it, while thinking about saving those she loves and the one Vaaryn loves.

“He’s... okay. He’s alive and well. I promise I’ll guide you to him.”

“Oh thank god...” Logan can easily detect the worry in Vaaryn’s echoey voice. “I need to find him. I remember, Logan. I remember it all and I want to help you save everyone from this wretched place the Hydra cursed you in.”

“I know you remember and I need your help. Let us find you. Where are you?”

“I... don’t quite know.” Vaaryn admits in a disappointed tone and Logan knows this is gonna much harder then she thought. Even as she’s communicating with Vaaryn, stabbing pains continue to shoot up and down her body and she can still hear the faint shouts of Raj trying to snap her out of the trance.

“Well... what’s around you?”

“The entire Vaanti were taken. We all woke up in some sort of camp. But I’m the only one who remembers everything. What were once noble warriors have turned into mindless pets of the Hydra.”

Something suddenly dawns on Logan. “Wait... is Rourke there?” She questions, fear taking over her voice and her features, dragging her heart down over the thought that Rourke could be hiding somewhere in his world.

Vaaryn’s voice starts to fade. “I’ve... heard... his name used.... by some... of the guards.... but.... I’ve never... seen him.”

“No... Vaaryn. I... think you’re fading.”

“So it may... seem. I’m afraid... our time... is up. Find... me. Bring... Diego. I need... to see him.”

“I will. I promise... I will.”

“One more... thing...”

“Of course... What is it?”

“Remember... everyone... was.... reborn.”

With that, Vaaryn’s voice fades away completely and Logan is abruptly brought back to reality and Raj’s constant shouting becomes more vivid. But the pain hasn’t stopped. It still haunts and taunts her body and her mind. Her mental state crumbles from trying to process the sudden information given to her. She struggles to stay conscious as her entire figure shakes and trembles.

“Lo! Come on, wake up!!” Raj shouts desperately, genuinely scared for her and his heart sinks at the sight of her conscience slowly slipping away.

Logan’s entire body feels weak and the pain becomes too strong that she’s forced to give in. She can’t fight anymore and her eyes close and her body stops shaking... and her conscience slips away completely.

Jake

One of Jake’s eyes jolt open, as he realises he passed out yet again. The guards must have carried him back to his cell because last time he checked, he was in the interrogation room. Hell, it wasn’t even an interrogation room. It’s more of a ‘what can we do to torture Jake today’ room. Jake doesn’t even feel like he’s in a regular prison. Not one you’d expect criminals to go to anyway, even if you are one of the most wanted ones. The ones that the police try and track down for years. Not even a serial killer would be sent to a place like this. Even a death penalty sounds more lenient then being trapped in his hell hole.

Constant torture. Unpredictable escape. Violence everywhere. Complete isolation. Nobody to talk to. Nobody else is around. Jake has not found one other person at this so called ‘prison’. He spends most of his time in a crappy old cell, drowning in his own sorrows and regrets without a drink to down. He can’t take the torturous solitude and not knowing when those bastards are gonna come to back to slap him and torture him some more.

Lundgren is alive. Tetra is alive. Fiddler is alive. And they all remember. They all remember everything. It’s like being on the island all over again but with more pain and hurt and not one shoulder to cry on when it gets too tough. How can they all be alive though? That happened for Mike but Jake never expected it to happen for everyone else? What if Lila is alive? What if everyone Jake killed is alive? And they’re out for revenge. What if they attack all his friends?

What if they get to his wife?

Truthfully, that’s all Jake has been worrying about lately and no one has told him anything about his wife and where the hell she is. Really, Jake doesn’t even know where he is but he wants some knowledge about what they did to her. Jake has been counting down the days and marking them on the wall and he’s been in this place for a good week. Not much food and a single bottle of water to get him through each day. He spends most of his time thinking and regretting everything. He’s been trying his best to remember anything about what happened while he had no memories and he can’t seem to grasp the important ones. Some minor moments flooded back to him. Some of Logan and some of Mike. None of them important though. Just some words were exchanged and the memory would end before it even begins.

Logan and Jake apparently had one conversation at the bar. That’s the most vivid memory of all and the only one Jake can fully access. He called her ‘Princess’ and he almost felt like he had to. It was almost like an instinct. Jake can’t quite remember what he felt the first time he saw Logan again. Although he didn’t know, there must have been some form of familiarity tugging at his heart, telling him that he has to talk to her in order to feel good about himself. If Jake hadn’t done that, who knows where he’d be right now?

Honestly, Jake still believes that he still would have ended up here. He feels like he’s being held captive more than he is being held up as a threat by the law. He could be in the middle of nowhere for all he knows. He’s not even able to go outside. He doesn’t even think he’s seen one other soul. Not one. He knows he’s in the news though, from hearing a guard watching it carelessly on his phone, so the law definitely know that he’s here. But why would they allow Lundgren to torture Jake? They wouldn’t even treat the worst kind of criminal like this? And someone falsely accused makes it really unnecessary.

Jake has no idea how long he’s gonna be here by there must be some kind of trial coming up. He can’t be held here forever. They can’t just say he’s guilty without proving it. That’s the law and the law is the law no matter what Lundgren or anyone else thinks.

All of a sudden, Jake’s cerulean eyes snap up when he catches the sound of a door creaking open. A dim light floods through the darkness of the room where the cell lies and a shadow wanders in. Jake can easily make out the police hat and uniform but can’t quite identify the face. The door remains ajar and the figure paces over to the guard watching Jake’s cell, having a minor conversation with him before the security guard suddenly leaves in a hurry, clutching a coffee mug and pushing the door further open as he exists.

The figure remains still, arms folded and eyeing Jake suspiciously.

“Hello, Jake. Long time no see.” The figure points out, taking a step closer into the lift and Jake’s eyes widen when he notices the familiarity of the person before him. That voice. That face. It’s all unmistakable.

“Rebecca.” Jake says her name coldly, sucking in a sharp breath and narrowing his eyes at his traitor of a sister. He vaguely recalls Rebecca being the one who arrested him in the first place and that makes his blood boil, even if she is family. Hell, maybe the only family he’ll ever see again.

“Gotta say, I haven’t been able to bring myself to visit you.” Rebecca admits and Jake just rolls his eyes, annoyed and irritated.

“Wow, Becks. Thanks for coming a week later.” Jake responds in his usual sarcastic tone. The tone he always used to use to annoy his sister and the one she truly hated. Now she didn’t seem to care.

“...How are you?” She asks and her question surprises Jake a little. Why the hell would she care about how he’s doing? It almost sounds like sarcasm.

“Locked in a cell every hour of every day. Only allowed to leave when I wanna be tasered and tortured. And when I refuse to leave, they sedate and I wake up with Lundgren smoking in my face. Bread and water is all the food I get. I don’t know where the hell my wife is or if she even knows where I am. Hell, I don’t even know where I am!” Jake snaps, rising from his bed and pacing up to the bars of the cell that separate him from his sister and he catches a glimpse of guilt playing at her eyes. “How the hell do you think I’m feeling?”

Rebecca’s gaze falls to the floor and she can’t seem to find the strength to meet Jake’s eyes. “I’m sorry about Logan. About Lundgren. About everything. He insisted we bring you here instead of sending you to prison and we were told that your wife is not allowed to know a thing.” Rebecca tries to explain but Jake shakes his head in denial, refusing to accept any of it.

“And where the hell is ‘here’ because not being able to go outside makes that kind of hard for me to figure out?” Jake states sarcastically once more and Rebecca folds her arms, noticing how frustrated Jake is.

Rebecca hesitates and presses her lips together. “...I can’t tell you that.” She mutters and Jake doesn’t seem surprised at all.

He scoffs, slightly amused. “Of course you can’t.” His brows twitch in confusion. “Why the hell are you taking orders from Lundgren anyway? He shouldn’t be making the rules. He should be following the law.” Jake argues, letting his hands fall to his sides.

“He is the law! He owns all of it! He makes the goddamn rules! Jake, I thought you knew this. Since when do you wanna be on the right side of the law anyway? Is it because you’re finally behind bars for what you did?”

“I Didn’t Do Anything!!” Jake snaps, yanking the steel bars and shaking them violently, stunning Rebecca slightly. His temper rises and his veins start to pop out his skin, showing just how enraged he truly is. He realises he’s frightened his sister and immediately tries to calm down, his features relaxing. He doesn’t wanna be that kind of person. He’s only making himself look more guilty. “It wasn’t me, okay! I didn’t kill anyone. It was all Lundgren. The bastard blamed it all on me.” Jake says more calmly this time and there’s a hurt look in his eyes

“Jake, I know you hate Lundgren with all your might but you don’t have to lie to-“

Jake cuts her off, instantly retaliating. “I’m not fucking lying, Becks! Lundgren did it all and he’s just trying to put the fault on me!”

Rebecca frowns, knowing Jake’s mental state is slightly shaken from having being here quite a while. “But Jake, there’s evidence against you.” She points out, her eyebrows colliding with worry for her brother.

“Evidence that Lundgren put together. How do you know that he didn’t mess with something? If he owns the law then it’s too easy for him.” Jake suggests and Rebecca just releases a heavy sigh. He notices the look of worry in her eyes and that’s when he realises what’s going on and what she really thinks of him. “...You think I’m crazy?”

Rebecca silences herself, not daring to anger Jake again. He’s actually frightening when he’s enraged and it genuinely scares her. Jake can’t actually believe what’s happening right now. Rebecca has a pair of keys to Jake’s cell in her pocket, yet she can’t just take them and unlock the cell. All because she’s too attached to the goddamn law.

“Jake... I-“

“Get out.” Jake interrupts her in a sharp tone, turning his back to his sister and facing the brick wall of his cell. Looking at that is less painful than dealing with what lurks behind him.

Rebecca is saddened by Jake’s ignorance but at the same time, she understands. “Jake please don’t-“

“Leave. Now.” Jake orders again, his hands shaking by his sides and just showing how nervous and afraid he really is no matter how much he tries to pull the tough guy of the situation.

“But Jake I wanna help-“

“Then let me see my goddamn wife!” Jake yells in a desperate tone, his words sounding more like a petty plead than a distant demand. He’s basically begging as angrily as possible. Tears rise in his eyes and he swerves around, facing his sister and seeing the doubt circling her. “Please, Becks. I need to see her.” He tries again but Rebecca just shakes her head.

“I’m sorry... I can’t let you do that.” Rebecca mutters under her breath and with that, she heads for the ajar door, the dim light faltering as she grips the door knob. “You might wanna settle in, Jake. You’re gonna be here for a while.”

Those being her last words, Rebecca sighs one last time before exiting the room, darkness taking control as she slams the door shut.

In that moment, Jake feels hopeless. Lost. Like he had no will power to get through this damn hell hole. And all he wants, all he truly wants... is his wife back.

Estela

This is it. Estela is really gonna do it. She’s finally promised to herself that she’s actually gonna confront Lila about who her mother really is. A woman named Olivia who was shot and killed by Lila in a security tape. Who know if it’s true but Estela won’t stop unless she dies trying? She needs to have those unanswered questions finally answered. She needs to know there’s a chance she could see her real mother after all these years of wondering and waiting. She plans to meet Lila for dinner, as scared of her as Estela is since finding out the one who raised her may be just be a serial killer. They’re gonna meet for coffee tomorrow and after a few awkward words, Estela plans to show Lila a picture she took of the video and throw the evidence right in Lila’s face. If it’s true, then she’ll definitely be going to jail. It’s vital that she learns the truth, even if her mother is dead.

It’s quite difficult for Estela to wrap her head around all of this. Just last week, she thought that Lila was just stuck up, self-centred bitch who couldn’t take care of a kid but now Estela’s opinion of her has completely changed. Now, Lila is a... murderer.

Estela and Grace haven’t really done anything serious or severe yet. Grace was the one who suggested Estela taking time to process things and Grace was right to bring that up because Estela does feel a lot more settled with it than she did a week ago. She hasn’t been able to act normal, her mind always whirling back to the footage. What if she really watched her mother being killed? It sounds awful. Tragic. The kind of stuff you’d only see on Dr Phil or whatever.

Now, Estela is dreading and worrying over this damn dinner with Lila, who actually wants to see her for some reason after what happened back at the dorms when she tried to take Estela home. Hell, Estela still doesn’t forgive Lila for purposely hurting her but she really doesn’t have a choice but to suck it up and go on this damn dinner. It’s the only way she’ll ever get answers and she needs them. Desperately.

Suddenly, Estela stumbles into someone, almost not so gracefully falling off her feet, not realising she was so lost in her own thoughts. However, a figure catches her before she hits her ground but she quickly removes herself from their grasp. For a moment, she’s stunned and she quickly leans away from the victim of her stupidity while walking. The person seems to have stopped walking for some reason. Usually, after you bump into a stranger, they take off before you get a chance to apologise but clearly that isn’t the case with this one.

Estela’s dark eyes snap up, as she dusts herself off and tries to gather herself from her almost-fall. She skims over the stranger who caught her and an uneasy feeling builds in her stomach. One she hasn’t experienced before.

“I’m so sorry. I’m such a fucking clutz.” Estela apologises in a sheepish tone, her dark eyes fixated on the man before her.

He looks so familiar and so recognisable but she can’t quite grasp his identity. With short black hair that has a slight quiff and dark brown eyes that settle with the sunlight, he stands slightly hunched and his nose twitches from the wind grazing the skin of his face. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket that clings to his olive skin and dark washed jeans. He seems like the casual type but there’s a suspicious feeling in Estela that she can’t quite shake.

When he hears her speak, his dark eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly, which is weird since they just met. It’s almost like he recognises her too but he seems to know who she is.

“Estela...” The man mutters but Estela manages to catch his words and she raises an eyebrow at the strange man.

“How the hell do you know my name?” She questions in a skeptical tone. Half of her just wants to run away as fast as possible but the other half of her is just too damn curious to leave.

The man quickly clears his throat, shaking off the weird feeling quickly and forming a weak smile. “Nothing. You just look like an Estela.” The man swiftly recovers and he offers a hand out to her. “I’m Mike.”

Estela narrows her eyes suspiciously for a moment before deciding to let the weirdness go and focus on the fact that he saved her from what could have been a pretty disastrous fall. Her features relax and she forces a smile.

She returns the handshake. “I’m Estela. But you already seem to know that.” She responds in a rare polite tone and for a moment, their hands linger in each other’s grasp before Mike awkwardly lets go. “Thank you for saving me from a short humiliation.”

“Hey it’s cool. You don’t seem like the type who would even say thank you.” Mike points out and Estela tilts her head questioningly at his blunt comment.

“Are you saying I’m not nice?”

“I’m saying you’re blunt.” Mike corrects, smirking slyly and folding his arms as he leans against the nearby lamppost. For a long minute, Estela just stares at him. “What?”

“Are you new around here? Cause I’ve never seen you here before.” Estela questions in a curious tone, throwing her hands on her hips in an idle manor.

Mike suddenly stiffens at her question and tries to recover quickly. “Guess you could say that.”

Estela raises an eyebrow at him. “You’re very vague, aren’t you?”

“Just blunt. Like you.”

“Don’t assume. I’m more messed up than you’ll ever know.” Estela smirks as she says that but there is a large truth to her uneven words.

Mike frowns a little. “Shit has happened then?”

Estela releases a heavy sigh. “More than you’ll ever know.” She trails off, getting lost in her thoughts again and contemplating hard about her past and what may a horrible future. She can’t even help but wonder why she’s revealing so much to a total stranger.

He just looks so familiar and so damn easy to talk to. She almost feels like... she may have seen him somewhere before.

Logan

Suddenly, her eyes jolt open and she shoots up from the bed, a banging headache immediately hitting her like a boulder or a bullet. It may be a slight head rush from what had occurred but she struggles to recall where she is or why she is there. Once her vision is no longer blurred, Logan curiously scans her surroundings and her immediately recognises where she is.

A goddamn hospital. Why the hell is she in a hospital? Did she pass out? Why did she pass out? Did something happen?

Anxious, Logan swiftly checks her body for any scars or bruises or bandages and sighs with relief when she finds absolutely nothing. She’s healthy, at least she thinks so then it seems weird for her to be in a hospital and dressed in a hospital gown so she was admitted by someone.

Suddenly, her headache grows stronger and more painful, as memories start to flood back to her, haunting her and taunting her like a virus. Vaaryn’s echoey voice saying all those words ringing in her head a million times and more - his last words especially.

Remember everyone was reborn.

Those words frighten her. Anger her. Sadden her. Excite her. Confuse her. Worry her. Surprise her. All these emotions she can’t control flood her body and she stops herself from drowning in her own thoughts, assembling control of her vision and keeping her eyes fixated on her surroundings.

Vaaryn. He’s alive. He’s really and truly alive. This will be enough to prove it all to Diego and finally make him believe everything for real and not have any excuse to think that Logan is crazy or that any of this is impossible.

Maybe the word hope can actually mean something now.

Logan still feels groggy and exhausted, as she recalls why she passed out. The visions and pain and voices echoing in her head became too much and her body just surrendered and give in, forcing her into a temporary state of unconsciousness. At least she’s okay. That’s all that matters.

Maybe Raj was the one who brought her here.

Suddenly, as if on queue, the door to her room swings open and Raj comes rushing in, a look of relief stretching across his features as he notices that Logan is awake.

“Oh my god! Lo, you’re okay!” Raj exclaims as he paces over to Logan and wraps her in a tight hug, a huge smile spreading across his lips. Just his joy makes Logan feel slight joy and she loves that he’s happy to see her well and healthy.

“Yeah I’m fine. This headache won’t go away though.”

Raj ignores her words and tightens the embrace. “You had me worried sick, Lo. I thought I poisoned you with my smoothie or something! You scared me!” Raj points out and Logan can’t help but giggle softly at that.

“No way, Raj. That smoothie was amazing. I just got a few random pains, is all.” Logan assures, running a hand through her platinum hair and sighing faintly.

Raj’s jaw drops slightly. “Are you kidding me? It was you were having a seizure on my sofa! You were shaking so much and you kept saying all these words and-“

“Wait, Raj. What words?” Logan questions, slightly worried.

“You kept repeating the words ‘Remember everyone was reborn’ or something and it really freaked me out.” Raj answers, an anxious look once again overtaking his features.

Logan brings him in for a reassuring hug, sighing against his shoulder. “Hey. Calm down. I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me, even though I think it’s sweet that you do.” She assures, breaking the hug and beaming comfortingly at Raj.

“I brought you here because I thought something was wrong with you. I’m so glad you’re okay though.”

“I’m fine. Seriously.

He releases another sigh of relief and rises to his feet. “Okay. You sure?”

“Yes! Stop asking now.” Logan tells him and he chuckles at her insistence.

“Alright. Alright. I’m gonna go get the nurse and tell her you’re awake. They should be able to discharge you. Don’t go anywhere.” Raj says before exiting the room and leaving Logan to take a deep breath and sigh.

Once again, as if almost on queue, the words return to her and her mind boggles with pain. They ring in her head a thousand times and she can feel the words consuming her vision and hearing once again, taking over her conscience as they curse her once more.

Remember everyone was reborn.

But what the hell does it mean?

Michelle

Once again, for like the fourth time today, Michelle is leaning over the toilet and feeling like she’s puking her entire brains out. Maybe she’s sick but it’s been happening for over a week. Constant vomiting and having to use the toilet. She literally doesn’t wanna eat anything and she sleeps more than she does anything else. She’s usually not heaviest sleeper but with the way she’s feeling, she’s sleep in a freaking dumpster.

It all seemed to start the night of the party when Michelle rushed out because she felt something suspicious and icky in her stomach. She felt the urgent need to be sick and so she was. Lots of time actually. It’s been happening ever since and today Michelle forced herself to go to the doctor. She hasn’t even been called in yet and she’s already in the hospital bathroom, vomiting like she never has before.

She hopes to god that this isn’t anything serious since she has finals coming up soon and she refuses to miss them because of a damn stomachache.

Feeling like she’s done but not feeling better, Michelle wanders groggily out of the bathroom and back into the waiting room. The second she walks in there, she hears her name being called.

“Michelle Nguyen?” A nurse calls her name and Michelle paces over to her, dusting herself off as if she’s dusting away her nerves. She’s feeling a lot more anxious than she probably should. “Right this way.” The nurse instructs and guides Michelle into an office, where a pleasant looking doctor is waiting for her, ready to greet her.

“Ah, Michelle. Hi, I’m Doctor Miller.” The doctor greets Michelle and shakes her hand, before leading her over to a table. “Sit up here, please.” The doctor requests, a sincere smile on her face.

Michelle responds with a loose semi-smile, the pains in her stomach annoying her like crazy. “Of course.” She says, leaping onto the table and the doctor immediately adjusts her stethoscope, pulling it towards her ears.

“So what seems to be the problem?”

Michelle sighs heavily, knowing this is gonna be a long explanation. “Well, ever since last week, I’ve been having these constant moments of vomiting and being disgusted by literally everything I see. I don’t wanna eat anything that’s not junk food and I’m always tired. I’m literally always being sick and I can’t find a way to stop it. At first I thought it was the flu so I took medicine but I feel like it’s been going on way too long now so I decided I should probably go to a doctor.” Michelle explains and she notices the clear confusion on the doctor’s face, as she starts jotting down notes on a piece a paper that is attached to a clipboard.

The doctor just stays silent for a moment, wandering over to the other side of the room for a minute and retrieving something off the counter. She hides it behind her back as she approaches Michelle again, her eyes slightly worried.

“If you don’t mind me asking, when was the last time you had your period?” The doctor asks as professional as possible and an understandable shock immediately clouds over Michelle, as she realises what the doctor is getting at.

“...I’m due this week.” Michelle admits, clinging the base of the table to calm her rising nerves.

“Michelle, have you ever considered... that you might be....” The doctor trails off, not sure how to say this without causing any discomfort for Michelle, who seems so shaken up as it is. “...pregnant?”

Hearing it aloud only seems to make it worse for Michelle and she presses her lips together as her eyes start to water uncontrollably. She’s never usually this emotional but hearing an assumption like that from a doctor can’t always be denied so easily.

“Are you being serious? You really think I’m... pregnant?”

The doctor reveals a box with a pregnancy test inside to Michelle, offering it to her. “Take this. I recommend you do. Just to make sure.” Michelle awkwardly and regretfully accepts the box and the doctor makes another note on the clipboard. “You have all the early symptoms and if your period is late than that just adds it up.”

Michelle refuses to cry about this so she just takes the box from the doctor and leaps off the table, starting towards the small bath room. “I’ll be a minute.” She awkwardly states, her voice strained from the rock scratching her throat.

Ten minutes later, Michelle has taken the test and all that’s left is the waiting game. She’s been counting the seconds carefully and her nerves rise with every second. She’s never been more scared than she is right now. Nothing could ever have prepared her for this moment. Even if she is pregnant, she’ll be able to work through it right? She has a good supply of money and she’s living in her own apartment so it can’t be that bad. But what about the father? It must be Sean. It has to be Sean. Would he even want anything to do with the baby? If she even decided to keep it. What if he just denies it and says he doesn’t want to take part and be the baby’s father? Michelle isn’t even sure if she wants a baby. Not right now anyway. She’s just about to finish college and prepare to start her journey in medicine. Having a baby may ruin her entire life plan and Michelle isn’t really sure she wants to let it go so quickly.

Ding!

The timer on her phone goes off and that means the pregnancy test. Anticipation causes her heart to beat a million times faster as she picks up the test and squints at the results. This is it. It doesn’t matter if she’s ready or not because the results are about to be revealed to her. Her thoughts scattered with unanswered questions, her hazel eyes go wide when she sees the results.

“Positive.” She mutters under her breath, stiffening when she barely manages to say it out loud.

Oh no. She really is pregnant.

#this is a bit of a shorter chapter #endless summer #endless summer imperfect #jake mckenzie #quinn kelly #estela montoya #sean gayle #diego soto #michelle nguyen #craig hsiao #zahra namazi #raj bhandarkar #grace hall #aleister rourke #choices es #playchoices #choices stories you play

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twistednuns · 4 years

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August 2019

India // It’s incredibly hard to sum up my feelings about India and Nepal. It was a truly incredible trip. And so exhausting. It was enriching, interesting, hard, disgusting, educational, everything. This is not the place to talk about my experience at length so I’ll just write down some nice moments I collected along the way //

on the go // the huge corner toilet at MUC airport departures / Rischart coffee / the smell of the Emirates airline NOIR lotion they offer in their bathrooms / cherry-flavoured Skittles // Delhi // brightly painted buses and tuk-tuks / eating at AB veg restaurant in Hauz Khas, inredibly delicious and cheap / being lucky enough to choose the hostel in Hauz Khas village; meeting Dominique, Christie, Ayush, Samar and Julia / all those talks we had about linguistics, education systems, the future, politics, travelling, home, friends, experiences with magic mushrooms, Hannah Arendt, travelling (…); talking to Christy about her past, family, criminal record / Mosambi juice / Nici constantly flirting with me, trying to seduce me. She told me I’m posh, assertive, regal and I know myself very well. Making out with her was fun but honestly… not worth the drama. / Mosambi juice / a consultation with a renowned Ayurveda doctor - I loved talking to her even though she wasn’t able to tell me anything I hadn’t known already; sometimes it’s nice to get the confirmation that what you found out on your own is exactly the right thing / eating momos and Kathi rolls, the best Thalis / parties on the rooftop until the sunrise interrupted us; grilling whole fish, saying goodbye to Julia, singing along to Louise Attaque and Cher songs / riding rickshaws through Delhi; extra fun: squeezing 5 people in and listening to club music / the sheets smelling chalky with a hint of grape sugar / dancing at Raasta / petting cute street doggies / a cooking class with Mansi and her family in North Delhi - delicious food and really nice people, I fell in love with the mum / eating at Social (that building is just amazing) and strolling through the little alleys and stores at Hauz Khas village with Christie; she showed me the place where she got her linnen dresses and we talked to a jewellery store owner for quite a while / the spice market, climbing up a building and watching the men flying their kites, tasting some street food and spices, realiszing that there is a market street dedicated to a single group of things like the shoe market, the jewellery market etc. / the Brit Brats sharing their joints; tripping to Bayonne / the hidden merchant streets with colourful wall art around the entrances / PANEER (!) / stand-up comedy with a female comedian / elevator selfies / learning about the development of Indian scripts and letters/characters in Sanskrit in the National Museum; erotic sculptures, very detailed paintings depicting badass, tiger-hunting ladies / I saw a peacock. Cows, chipmunks, pigs, horses, monkeys, goats, guinea pigs, bunnies, cats and dogs, bats, herons, boars, caterpillars, centipedes, horses, donkeys (…) / finding the perfect triangular earrings with gemstones at the Dilli Haat market; getting some nice dresses, too / living on water and mango juice, feeling very light and clean, having an empty stomach all the time / Gandhi Smriti, retracing Mahatma’s last steps before his assassination / feeling human again after a few days in bed - I love the power of make-up, bananas, fresh clothes and those pink little Pepto-Bismol pills the Canadian lady gave me / Delhi central station; just WOW. It’s places like that which make you realise just how many people there are in India. //

Rishikesh // the man helping me with the bus to Rishikesh; the kindness of strangers / “I thank the Lord for the people I have found” (Elton John - Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters) / emotional bus rides: crying for no reason, letting go, for the first time in a very long time; emotional turmoil, softening up; leaving people and whole countries behind / seeing the huge Shiva ceremony at the Ganges from the bus / my yoga teacher training, getting to know the other students / learning about a magic trick against bad posture / instant karma / the view from the rooftop, watching the sunrise over the lower Himalaya mountains / the simple, vega, ayurvedic food they offered at the ashram / visiting the temples with the apprentice yogi and his scooter; walking up 13 stories in the blazing sun, receiving a blessing and some red string around my wrist; taking part in the Ganga ceremony at sunset / the Beatles Ashram; it’s just this amazing place with incredible street art, and those ruins, the meditation caves and eggs on the rooftop… climbing up there was one of my highlights in Rishikesh / close second: visiting a meditation cave at the Ganges, a bit further up in the mountains; a monk had spent 15 years in that cave practising meditation / all the beautiful shops around town focussing on yoga accessoires / putting my feet in the Ganges #blessed #moksha / learning about my aggression during silent yoga / all the animals around town: horses, donkeys, cows, monkeys and whatnot //

Varanasi // taking the night train for the first time; I shared my little compartment with a family and three little children but they were surprisingly dramafree and actually quite cute / a sunset boat trip on the Ganges, seeing the ghats, the ceremonies, the moon rise / the little alleys behind the ghats; the stores, the surprises / Marnikarnika Ghat was really impressive; it’s the cremation place and I saw dead bodies for the first time / accidentally discovering the Dirty Chai Cafe (chocolate peanut butter shakes and fresh, cold mint lemonade), finding a Kamala Das poetry book on the shelf / spending an afternoon with the German journalist (so weird how the atmosphere shifts when you’re accompanied by a man there; also our dynamic made me feel so glad to be travelling alone, to only be responsible for myself, to be independent); sharing a banana and water surrounded by goats in Hanuman Ghat; the view over the river from his room; him gently stroking my cheekbone / buying two saris in a little corner shop / my jewellery quest (unsuccessful) / eating fresh fruit salad after hardly eating solid food for days / checking out that little park on my last day, the air buzzing with dragonflies / watching the sunset from the hostel’s rooftop, filming a slow motion video / India brings out trauma and deep emotions; the people kept staring at me for whatever reason; I kept having disturbing dreams about my dead father and grandmother; and the mob-video Christy showed me didn’t help either (the whole village carried a man through the streets, eventually beating him up because he couldn’t pay off his debts) //

Nepal // the first view of Nepal from the bus windows - how much greener, how much emptier it is than India / meeting some nice people on the bus - an American, a Brit and two Frenchies; grabbing dinner in Kathmandu with the latter / watching the sunrise at the border between India and Nepal / sitting next to the mayor of small town council on the bus ride; communicating with hand and feet / the Kathmandu valley is such a gorgeous sight / I got lucky with my hostel; Yakety Yak was a really nice and quiet place to stay; they even had laundry service and a shelf with free books - I read two or three of them because I behaved like a good (home)sick German abroad: bed, Haribo, carbonated water, trashy literature / visiting Bhaktapur, a gorgeous small town in the Kathmandu valley / watching the latest Tarantino movie at the cinema; the tickets were incredibly cheap / walking up the hill to the temple and the monastery, enjoying the incredible view over the surrounding hills; meeting two ladies from Austria, they live close to my old university town; walking to the centre through back alleys, stopping at a rooftop cafe, ordering three drinks at once (liquid diet) / that one jewellery store near the Pokhara bus station - I found some gorgeous brass rings with precious stones for little money / the busy square, the markets / hanging out in the hammock in my hostel in Pokhara, overlooking the lake / watching the skydivers land / the ayurvedic cafe and the other place serving smoothie bowls by the lake - it’s such a fantastic moment when you finally feel hungry again and eat a little solid food after fasting/suffering for a few days / two incredibly weird guys from Latvia and Berlin who provided a nice, mellow ending for my shitty day and even made me survive the mosquito attacks / meeting my travel agent who actually took me out dancing and gave me a ride on his motorcycle to the bus stop; he even gave me some fruit for the ride / By the Way starting to play while waiting for Vietnamese food / hunting down a place that sells semi-precious stone columns in Kathmandu; negotiating with the old lady selling them; getting some brass souvenirs for my friends and family / the view from the airplane - seeing the Himalaya for the first time; I pity people who’ve stopped looking out of windows //

Coming home. I’ve NEVER felt happier entering my apartment after a trip. Being alone. Truly alone. Silence. Three rooms just for me. My bed. Having all my stuff back. Toiletries! Nice body lotion. My favourite perfume. Going to the supermarket. Unpacking all the jewellery, clothes and knick-knacks I bought. Taking care of my plants.

Making a huge batch of my favourite ratatouille / pasta sauce.

Visiting Manu in hospital. Cheering him up a little bit.

Finally receiving my black and white analogue photos. I loved the shot of Andre looking like he’s being kissed by a dementor. And Lexi looking dead cool at ADBK.

Pizza party at Grano with Lena. Eating sorbet out of a lemon.

Riding my bike through the forest on a sunny morning. Stopping to take pictures of the beautiful light, the yellow flowers. Spending too much money at the garden center. Driving home, IKEA bags full of plants.

Inventing my signature manicure: a little black dot just above the nailbed.

Having an evening beer outside at Sofa So Good with Andre.

Stumbling upon Konsti. The one who ghosted me years ago after a beautiful summer spent kissing in lakes because his therapist had told him so. Well, we talked for a few days, but guess what - he just ghosted me for a second time. Fool me one - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me.

#things i love #august #2019 #august 2019 #personal #present perfect #india #nepal

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thekuroiookami · 7 years

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Tag, you’re it

So someone decided to tag me for this, and I’m just honoured and terrified at the same time because why would anyone care what my responses were anyway?

Anyway, here goes.

Tagged by: @yzzy-gggg

Rules: Make them up as you go? Okay?

1. What’s your favourite animal?

Hmm, probably wolves. They’re essentially intelligent, wild dogs with a sociable nature. Also they’re misunderstood - what does a lone wolf even mean?

2. Do you watch YouTube or Netflix more?

YouTube, since I don’t care for mainstream American TV all that much. I have a few comedy and gaming channels I like to watch on YT. Where are all my fellow Cryaotic fans?

3. Do you like horror movies?

Do I ever. Standard horror movies don’t scare me, so it’s always a bit of a gamble when I watch them. But when I do get freaked out, I have a lot of respect for the movie.

4. Which fictional character is your favourite and/or which one do you relate to the most?

Ooh, that’s a tough one. It’s different for different media. In anime, my favourite character as of the moment might be Kuroo Tetsurou from Haikyuu, because he pretty much is my ideal guy. As for who I relate to...maybe Takanashi Naota from the Usotsuki Lily manga. He’s a loyal friend who stands by and makes sarcastic remarks while shenanigans happen. The guy is my soul animal.

5. When you dream, do people you know show up in those dreams?

Fun fact: I dream every single night. The only time I don’t dream is when I’m taking a nap on a journey. Sheer probability thus dictates that friends and family turn up with high frequency in my dreams.

6. Do you like taking baths?

Hot showers, yes, soaking baths not so much.

7. Milkshakes or ice cream?

I’m going to go with ice cream because too much milk and cream eventually make me nauseous.

8. Favourite food?

At the moment, probably Korean barbecue. It’s tasty, mostly healthy, and fun to do. Also just about anyone can eat it with you.

9. Do you have/want tattoos? And what was your first/what do you want to get first?

I don’t have any, but I do want a couple. It’s very hard for me to decide what I want to get. Maybe the phrase “This too shall pass.”

10. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

I gave it a great deal of thought, and I’d pick teleportation. It would save me so much travelling if I could skip to other countries, and used sensibly, it’s quite handy in a fight.

11. If you were given the opportunity to go to space, would you?

No, no, no. Space is fascinating, but also dark, endless and cold. It terrifies me because it makes you realise how small and transient you are. So no.

12. Happiest memory?

I have a quite a few, I’m glad to say, but generally I remember Christmases when my whole (extended) family gets together as being very happy. I have good memories of us kids opening presents under a tree and then everyone just running around in joy.

13. Favourite song?

As an everlasting pick, I’d go with Monkey Majik’s Sakura. I also really like Sia’s To Be Human right now.

14. Favourite scent?

There are so many! Fresh laundry, new books, sandalwood, jasmine are among the top ones.

15. If you could have any animal on the planet as a pet, what would you choose?

If not an actual wolf (see previous obsession) then a husky. They’re so beautiful. For a wilder option, maybe a snow leopard, that would be amazing, since they look so soft but ferocious.

16. Favourite feature about yourself?

Do I have to pick just one? Haha, I’m joking. I don’t know about physical features, but I’m chill. I don’t panic most of the time, and I’m usually the calm one everywhere.

17. Have you been to a concert, if so which one? If not, which would you like to see?

Sadly, never! If I ever get the opportunity, I’d go watch BIG BANG perform. I’d like to watch Sia too.

18. Favourite fruit?

A difficult choice, but mangoes, maybe. They’re not always in season, but they taste really good dried, pickled, or just by themselves.

19. Favourite colour?

Erm...maybe black and purple. To wear, to see and to own things in, those would be ideal. Also they’re just very lush colours.

20. What do you like to do to relax?

Read. I read a lot. When I have uni, I watch stuff in the evenings or catch up on a good book. Yoga is also a nice way to unwind occasionally. I like going on walks when the weather is good.

21. Do you like anime?

Hahahaha. Do I? I’ve been watching anime since I was eight. It all started with Cardaptor Sakura. The commitment is real.

22. Proudest moment?

Well, I just finished my degree recently, and I was pretty darn happy when I got my dissertation grades back. It made a lot of effort and anxiety worthwhile.

Wow, that was long. I really didn’t know what I was getting into there. Thanks for tagging me, yzzy! Since I don’t know too many people on Tumblr, maybe I’ll tag @doomedtemperament. It’d be nice to see their responses.

#about me #chit chat #tagged by a friend #i realize im boring #sorry not sorry

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foursprouthealth-blog · 6 years

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21 Adaptogenic Drinks So You Can See What the Fuss Is About

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/21-adaptogenic-drinks-so-you-can-see-what-the-fuss-is-about/

21 Adaptogenic Drinks So You Can See What the Fuss Is About

First, ashwagandha appeared our radar— and now people are drinking so many adaptogens we can hardly keep track. But wait… what are adaptogens again? It can get a little complicated, but what you should know is that they’re medicinal plants believed to help the body respond more effectively to both physical and biological stressors.

Whether you’re a skeptic or a believer, there’s no denying that adaptogens are rising in popularity (look out for a reishi maca latte coming to a coffee shop near you). Considering how easily they blend into the likes of smoothies, lattes, tonics, and more, it’s not too difficult to try them at home (after you buy the herbs in question at a health food store or Amazon, of course).

A bit too weirded out by names like “magical moon” this and “golden dandelion” that? We get it. You can always ditch the adaptogen add-ins for some damn delicious drinks we’d make anyway.

1. Magical Adaptogenic Matcha Latte

Photo: Breakfast Criminals

This latte sadly doesn’t give you magical superpowers, but it can make you feel super wonderful. With three adaptogens—astragalus, ashwagandha, and maca—it has the potential for immune-boosting magic. But that’s hardly the best part. The matcha powder and coconut cream steal the show, making it deliciously creamy and just the right amount of sweet.

2. Superfood Chocolate Nut Milk

Photo: Fit Mitten Kitchen

Who knew homemade nut milk was so easy? Not to mention, it’s crazy delicious. Start by soaking cashews overnight, then add all of the ingredients to the blender and strain through a cheesecloth. Yup, that’s it! This nut milk is boosted with the likes of maca and reishi and spiced with dashes of cinnamon and ginger. For extra sweetness, add maple syrup.

3. Adaptogenic Cold Brew Coffee Banana Smoothie

Photo: Will Frolic For Food

Coffee smoothies are brilliant. Really, we’ll give a big “heck yes” to any morning meals that give you a boost. This smoothie takes things next-level with reishi and maca and gets extra creamy with the help of frozen banana and cashew butter. To up its wow factor, freeze cold brew into ice cubes and top the blended goodness with cinnamon.

4. Golden Dandelion Latte

Photo: Dolly and Oatmeal

Making turmeric lattes at home doesn’t have to be a hassle—especially if you have turmeric paste on hand (which this recipe teaches you how to make). Simply brew a tea of your choice—dandelion is used, but chamomile is also great—and while it’s steeping, blend the warm almond milk, coconut oil, turmeric paste, and ashwagandha. Once frothy, pour the almond milk mixture over the tea and sprinkle some spice on top.

5. Peppermint Adaptogen Hot Chocolate

Photo: Healthfully Ever After

We’re huge fans of healthy(ish) hot chocolate. This recipe keeps things classic with skim milk and hot chocolate mix but also tastes great with mushroom hot cacao mix and vanilla almond milk. Its minty freshness comes from peppermint extract and fresh mint garnish, and its adaptogenic goodness comes from ashwagandha or maca (we say add both).

6. Anti-Anxiety Shake

Photo: Spinach for Breakfast

And we thought adding veggies to smoothies was a good trick… Turns out there are endless ways to supercharge smoothies, including adding adaptogens to them. The sweetness of the banana and mango mask the bitter taste of ashwagandha (which may decrease anxiety, hence the name) and the liquid passion flower gives it an extra boost of (supposed) calmness. Add Greek yogurt for some extra protein and ground flaxseed for added healthy fats. Keep calm, drink on.

7. Magical Moon Tea Time Latte

Photo: Wholehearted Eats

What is moon tea, you ask? Don’t worry, it doesn’t require ingredients from Mars. It’s simply a mix of powders aimed at alleviating PMS. Some of the delicious add-ins: ashwagandha, maca, cinnamon, cocoa, and instant dandelion. But what makes it extra tasty is the tahini, an unexpected but satisfying addition.

8. Adaptogenic Coffee Latte

Photo: Will Frolic For Food

A 10-ingredient coffee may sound ambitious (and contain a few more ingredients than we normally mess with), but give it a chance. Not only is it made with cashew butter, coconut cream, and honey (a latte dream team), but it also has mushroom powder, maca, and collagen (an adaptogenic triple threat). Simply brew some joe, pop it in a blender with the rest of the ingredients, whirl, and enjoy. We can’t promise it’ll change your life, but it will most definitely change your morning.

9. Walnut Milk Adaptogen Elixir

Photo: Local Milk Blog

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: DIY nut milk is actually easy. But if you’d rather not bother, this elixir works just as well with store-bought walnut milk (Elmhurst walnut milk is our favorite). Made with three adaptogens—ashwagandha, red maca, and shatavari—and delicious add-ins like tahini, honey, and cinnamon, it’s a fun (and healthy) way to change up your adaptogenic latte game.

10. Malted Chocolate Cauliflower Smoothie

Photo: Eating Bird Food

It’s no secret that we love cauliflower in smoothies. It’s a great way to achieve creaminess if you don’t love banana and has a versatile flavor that pairs with almost everything. This smoothie uses chocolate protein powder, almond milk, maca, and cacao nibs to spruce up the inconspicuous veg, with optional add-ins like reishi and almond butter. If you’re craving some sweetness, add banana or berries.

11. Strawberry Milk

Photo: The Awesome Green

One of the purported benefits of adaptogens is their ability to help balance hormones. So if you’re feeling out of whack, maybe give this strawberry milk a go. Simply blend fresh strawberries with coconut milk, tahini, maca, and dates, and drink immediately. Your hormones may not suddenly adjust, but we can promise that your taste buds will be happy.

12. The Ultimate Tonic

Photo: Nutrition Stripped

What’s so “ultimate” about this ultimate tonic? It could be that it boasts not one, but six kinds of medicinal mushrooms. It could also be the abundant healthy fats from chia seeds, flaxseeds, and coconut oil, or anti-inflammatory boost from turmeric. Or maybe it’s that it contains all of the above and still tastes damn good. Whatever its secret, we’re into it.

13. Salted Tahini Maca Smoothie

Photo: Running On Real Food

This smoothie is so thick and creamy we suggest skipping the straw and lopping it up with a spoon. Made with tahini, cauliflower, maca, dates, almond milk, vanilla protein powder, sea salt, and ice, it’s so decadent tasting we’re half convinced it should be called a milkshake. Top with cinnamon for the full dessert-like effect.

14. Blue Moon Milk

Photo: Love & Olive Oil

This drink helps us sleep so soundly we definitely won’t be saving it for once in a blue moon. It gets its pale blue hue from butterfly pea powder (you can find it on Amazon or swap out for your favorite tea, but don’t be sad when it’s not blue) and supposed sleep-inducing magic from none other than ashwagandha. Add nutmeg, cinnamon, and maple syrup to make it extra comforting and feel free to try any type of nut milk (though we’re partial to cashew).

15. Cocoa Tonic

Photo: In the Making By Belén

We’re all for embracing your inner child, but we’ll make an exception for this adult cocoa. To save time on whipping it up in the morning, make a pre-mixed jar of the main powders—maca, reishi, tocos (no, not tacos), vanilla, and cacao—and simply toss some in the blender with nut milk, coconut oil, a pinch of salt, and whatever other add-ins you fancy (we’re liking cardamom at the moment).

16. Adaptogenic Hazelnut Latte

Photo: The Green Life

When it comes to adaptogenic drinks, less doesn’t often seem to be more. It’s a breath of fresh air to find lattes like this, with four main ingredients and the option to go wild on add-ins. The basics include plant-based milk (homemade is a plus), brewed coffee or tea, hazelnut butter (any nut butter works, but this makes it memorable), and a sweetener of choice, with suggested add-ins like maca, ashwagandha, and bee pollen. If you’re craving chocolate, a little cacao goes a long way.

17. Hibiscus Tea Latte

Photo: My Tiny Laguna Kitchen

Adaptogens tend to be paired with nutty flavors, but they also taste great with the likes of hibiscus and mint. Simply brew a bag of hibiscus mint tea (plain hibiscus works too) and blend with warm almond milk, ashwagandha, ginger, and vanilla powder. Don’t have vanilla powder? Vanilla extract is the perfect replacement.

18. Adaptogenic Gingerbread Latte

Photo: Choosing Chia

Holiday-inspired drinks bring visions of sky-high whipped cream, puffy marshmallows, and decorative drizzles of chocolate syrup. While it’s fun to indulge, it’s also nice to have healthy backups on hand. This gingerbread latte uses nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, and molasses to create that beloved gingerbread flavor and is paired with reishi, maca, and almond milk to bring down the sweetness and up the health benefits. Now that’s the makings of a happy holiday.

19. Chai Latte With Adaptogens

Photo: The Awesome Green

A latte that reduces stress? Yup, it’s a thing. Ashwagandha has been shown to decrease stress, improve focus, and help you sleep like a baby. And though it’s notorious for its not-so-great taste, the chai spices used in this recipe make it legit delicious. For some extra oomph, add a tablespoon of coconut oil.

20. Chocolate Reishi Latte

Photo: Spinach for Breakfast

Good news, everyone: You can leave your blender untouched for this one. Simply add all of the ingredients—almond milk, cacao, reishi, and coconut butter are the main attractions—to a pot, whisk together over medium heat, simmer for five minutes, and pour into your favorite mug. Easy, filling, delicious… this latte is what mornings are made for.

21. Almond Butter Maca Madness Smoothie

Photo: Blissful Basil

This five-ingredient smoothie is all kinds of wonderful. Made with almond milk, almond butter, frozen banana, maca, and vanilla extract, it’s both nourishing and satisfying. We love experimenting with different nut milks and butters—cashew makes it extra decadent—and throwing in teaspoons of other adaptogens like ashwagandha or reishi. Another tasty add-in: cinnamon.

#Health

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maryanash · 7 years

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Your simple guide to consistent healthy eating

THIS week we’re talking food – such a HUGE subject and one about which there is so much confusion. Food gets labelled good and bad, naughty or “a treat”, a syn and any number of other things. So It’s no wonder food has all sorts of special meanings for many of us. We give it a status when all it should be is fuel to keep us in tip-top condition to help us live our busy lives.

So I thought I’d enlist the help of one of our Slimpodders this week. Sammie Axton is such a great example of how you can change your relationship with food, lose weight and keep it off. She’s been eating consistently healthy for almost four years and has lost more than five stone and continued to effortlessly keep it off!

She’s gone from a near size 20 to a size 10 and stayed that size so Sammie’s top food tips are well worth paying attention to, I reckon!

Firstly, I asked Sammie what six foods she avoids putting into her shopping basket now and this was her reply (it’s lovely!): “I avoid Diet Coke and sugar in my cereal. I also avoid chocolate digestives (despite eating those by the packet once!), meat pies, Frosties and ready meals.

“The funny thing is I didn’t even realise I don’t buy them any more until you asked me about it! I didn’t actually think I’d stopped buying things completely but I have! Wow, that’s amazing.”

As you can see, Sammie doesn’t consciously deny or deprive herself of anything. She says if she has a small craving for something she’ll have it and then the craving disappears.

Next I asked Sammie for just six things she eats regularly each week. This was a big ask so I extended it a bit!

“Mackerel, chicken, eggs, spinach, broccoli, Ryvita and tomatoes. I sometimes eat potatoes, pasta and rice but my portion size has naturally reduced so much – I only eat about 5 pieces of pasta now where that used to be at least two handfuls. I now have Weetabix instead of Frosties for breakfast if I don’t have time to have eggs. I often have eight eggs a week!

“There is no effort involved in any of these healthy choices. It has become a habit to eat good food. I’m not rich by any means, but I can afford to eat good food because it really costs no more than all the rubbish I used to eat.

“In fact it probably costs me a lot less as I don’t eat ready meals or treats, which used to cost a lot of money. Plus I eat a lot less than I used to as my portion sizes are about half what I ate before. I do believe that the expense of food is actually a bit of an excuse.

“You can eat beautifully and healthily without spending a lot of money and if you get the whole family eating the same food you’re not making two meals. I obviously give my little lad more potatoes, pasta and rice than I have, but he has the same meat and fish.”

So that’s Sammie’s recipe for success!

Sammie’s way of eating is very similar to the principles of Mediterranean-style eating and I’m a great fan! I’ve been doing it for years – before it even had a name!

So here’s the seven principles of Med eating

It’s generally low in starchy, easily digestible carbs (sugary stuff!) but packed full of nutrition. Many clinical trials have shown that not only do people get multiple health benefits from this way of eating, but they are also good at sticking to it (unlike those who go on a low-fat/calorie controlled diets) because they find it easy and enjoyable.

And when you have a Slimpod programme you’ll find it even easier because you’ll actually WANT to eat like this and really enjoy it.

Minimise bread, pasta, potatoes, processed cereals, and rice— they’re a combination of refined and starchy carbohydrates which rapidly turn into sugars in the blood. Quinoa, whole grains, beans, and lentils are good and fill you up too!

Cut right down on sugar, sugary treats, drinks, and desserts. With a Slimpod that’s easy J

Eat more vegetables. There are so many wonderful vegetables to choose from. I must admit I’ve become quite a veggie addict. I love stir fries and dishes with lots of colour. Broccoli, spinach, red peppers, pak choi and carrots are in my basket every week.

Eat fruit, two portions a day is good. Go for berries, apples, and pears—unpeeled, as this is where most of the nutrients are – but don’t have too many high-sugar fruits like pineapple, melon or mango.

Include plenty of high-quality protein such as meat, oily fish, eggs, seafood, tofu, soy and, to a lesser extent. nuts, chickpeas, quinoa, lentils. The body doesn’t store protein so you need to maintain an adequate level in your diet to avoid muscle loss. It also helps to reduce appetite. Processed meats (e.g., bacon, salami, sausages) should be eaten in moderation.

Enjoy dairy products and eat more healthy fats and oils. Until recently people thought they should be avoiding full-fat dairy products. In 2014 a review by the British Heart Foundation which looked at the results of nearly 80 studies involving more than half a million people found no evidence that eating saturated fats leads to a greater risk of heart disease. In fact, they found that people with higher levels in their blood of a particular saturated fat called margaric acid (the sort you get in milk and dairy products) had a lower risk of heart disease. More recently scientists have said if you drink full fat milk you are 46 per cent less likely to develop diabetes! So use fats! They make food taste better. They are an excellent source of slow-burn energy. And, although ounce for ounce they are higher in calories than carbs, they keep you full for longer. Adding fat to starchy food (butter to potatoes, for example), will actually slow the rate at which the starch is broken down into sugars and absorbed. Eating healthy oils (olive oil, coconut oil and avocado) also improves the absorption of the essential fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, and K).

Vinegar has been found to help reduce weight and shift deep-rooted abdominal fat. It has been shown to suppress appetite and also delays the breakdown of food into sugars in your gut. Amazing eh?!

There are a few good recipe books which follow these principles:

The Blood Sugar Diet – (ignore the word diet!!)

Joe Wicks – Lean in 15

And new this week – The Pioppi Diet by Dr Aseem Malhotra, a colleague of mine on the All Party Parliamentary Group for Obesity. I’m a huge fan of Aseem’s.work and I also support Action on Sugar, the campaigning group he co-founded. I’ll definitely be buying his book!

As you know, with Slimpod programmes we don’t tell you what to eat and what not to eat. However, over the past 10 years, my experience has led me to believe people are so confused about food that I feel some guidance is always welcome!

So my Boot Camp friends, your task for this week and beyond is to follow the principles of the Med way of eating. Invest in one of the recipe books but there’s also plenty of free info available online if you want to find out more. Post up pictures of your plates in Slimpod Club!

Sammie has also kindly offered to answer any questions you have. Simply tag her in Slimpod Club or write the question below this blog and I’ll make sure she sees it. Have a great week!

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Your simple guide to consistent healthy eating

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crashpaddiaries · 7 years

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Dear Crashpad Diary #19

Yooooooooo you chalky beasts (climbing version of “filthy bastards” hahahah)

How are you all doing there?? I hope youre having fun and smiling as hell!! hehe

Sport-wise… whats the story??? Climbing?? Skiing?? badmington-ing? Chess-ing?? hahahaha

Talking about chess… I´m constantly making a joke that I should have gone for chess instead of climbing… that way my fingers would suffer a little less and I would be able to grab a mug of coffee without the heinous feeling that I´m touching lava with my finger tips!! hahahaha

During our last days in Hampi… I was with that rage for finish projects… actually I had few projects and started putting them in order of priorities… considering the ones I was closer and I was sure that I could get in no time… that way I was going pretty much early mornings and late afternoons for them…. during the day though… I had not much to do other than eating… reading… and some of this activities that you stay relaxed and chill in one place… not moving much… thats the problem… if I don’t move I kinda go crazy… so… my afternoons were fulfilled with slackline sessions… nice sport… good for balance… concentration and not fingers or upper body related… should be good…. right?? haha

Well… I love doing new tricks and I started feeling pretty comfy doing jumps and all… and from that you can imagine… or you can search for slackline comps online and you gonna find out how mad are these guys jumping around haha… I don´t get even closer but I´m getting there hehehe

As you can imagine… falls are inevitable… mainly for me haha So… one day we woke up… went for my project… didn’t get… closer and closer though…. came back… brekkie…. rest a bit and Slackline… jump jump jump… slip… hit the line with my chest… could hear people that was watching going all “uuuuuuuffff”… cuz my headphone fell on the ground with the impact… fortunately I was fine… stood up… didn’t feel much.. just the impact and got a nice line drew on my chest by the slackline hehehe

The next morning went for my beloved problem called Sharmilla´s Hug… got even closer but no send…. I was feeling fine… went back… relaxed the whole afternoon and went back… didn’t slackline cuz I was feeling the ribs bruised… decided for putting the energy on the climbing… warmed up… sadly on the first go I was already suffering with the pain… gave other 2 goes and struggled in each one of them… I didnt want to believe but the 6 months of non-stop climbing had come to an end because of a line hanging between 2 trees… thats messed up!! hahahahah

At least I missed only 4 sessions after all!! Gladly, no one got injured during the trip… the balance so far was one visit to the hospital but that wasn’t me and everything was more than fine hehehehe =)

So… the rest of our Indian days we seized eating all the dishes we knew we would miss hahahah what a great way to finish the trip hahahahah Dosas, Idlis, Thalis, Homemade muesli, salads, Dal, Chenna, Currys and loads of other scrumptious dishes!! =)

Aaaaaaaand we´re off to Nepal… hooray… went to the boat to cross the river cuz we had an overnight bus… whole day waiting at the airport in Bombay and then a flight to Kathmandu waiting for us… not before crossing from Hampi island… so… we were in that boat with heavy backpacks, crash pads and another small bags… I was in one side and Stephen the other… there was a group of Indian guys from Hospet and we started chatting… they are always good vibes… selfies as usual going on… and the time passing… it was already 5pm and our bus would leave at 6:05pm… ok… we have time… 15 mins later we were in the middle of a battle and not getting any fucking thing hahahah We were there and one of the guys from Hospet (a small city near Hampi), started shouting sth to the guy that runs the boat… related to the time he was taking to leave… the guy replied sth bad… I guess… cuz this guy that was in that group… who was pretty cool and kind… turned into a daredevil, stood up and ran straight to the boat man…. so they started arguing freaking loud… hands and fingers pointing each ones face… the other guys left the boat too… every time someone left their places the boat would move as it were rolling hahahah and we were full of equips tied up to our backpacks fixing the balance hahahah that was funny and scared hahahahaha

In the end people from the other side came to participate (as they are pretty participative in every happening hahahahaha)… suddenly we had loads of people shouting… the two boats anchored and loads of tourists waiting to cross the river… not forgetting that we kept balancing every now and then cuz someone would leave their places and put the whole boat “driedness” at stake hahahah After all the madness we got to cross and took the tuktuks to Hospet…

I think its fate of having adventures… I ended up getting the same driver that almost killed us in a crash when we went to Sri Lanka few months before hahahahahaha but this time he behaved hahahahaha

Sweeeeet…. we got to Kathmandu… quite good flight!! The dumb prize this time goes toooooo….. Me…. we had to grab some food at the airport in Bombay… chose the Subway among all the fast food shops because is the one with veggie option…. got the one I thought was the only option but totally forgot that we were in India and there the veggie rules…. hahahahah Was so sad for not choosing sth different among all the possibilities…. Stephen was smarter and got some “Super hyper mega paneer tofu soya totally organic veggie forever” sandwich…. but I enjoyed my Lettuce-tomato-plastic cheese sub!! hahahahahah

Kathmandu is cool!!! The people is extremely kind, cute, shy and smiley (I loved it!! =))… also the vibes in the city are incredibly good!!

It´s sad to see that many places are still destroyed or under construction because of the earthquake that hit the country in 2015. The amount of buildings skeletons or constructions rest you can find is out of my mind… and the whole city look like a construction site. At first, when I got here I couldn’t understand the reason to so much dust in the air… you can see, you can feel and you can even taste the smog… the way is to mimic the locals and use a mask most part of the time when you go outside… fortunately we will not stay long in KTM and wbouldedrill head to the mountains soon… fresh and cold air!! =)

haha yet relate to smoke.. while in Hampi the hype was offer “climbing banana, mango banana… (whispering) marijuana??”… over here they ask us every second “Do you smoke??” hahaha there was even a guy cycling the rickshaw who came close to us… didn’t stop and as he was passing by threw the question at us… but didnt stop… what was he thinking?? We would start chasing him shouting “Yeah Yeah… we smoke… do you have some???” hahahahah Or the other guy that came to Stephen… it seems that all the weirdos like him tho…. the sketchy guy came with a strange look… like crazy eyes… asking “”dooooosmoooooke??” hahaha that was so funny hehehe

We got to go to the climbing gym here with a couple that we met in Hampi… Denis and Maddie… really good vibes people and strong climbers!!

haha after 6 months climbing outdoors… plastic feels weird but it was cool climbing some gymnastic problems… quite similar to Rocklands and the style I love the most… great set… good people over there and we already got some contacts to go outdoors and met some strong Nepali climbers!!

After the sesh my ribs… that were still sore… started hurting a bit more… but we were going for food and you know… food always cure! hahaha We ate a dish called Takhali… it´s kinda thali but you get refills… as many as you want…. now you can imagine how hard we hit that hahahaha

Well…. I can’t keep fooling myself with takhalis for too long so, as my ribs were still pretty bruised and I didn’t know what was the story there, I decided to go to the hospital and check… the doctor as soon as started checking me with the stethoscope confirmed that I had a broken rib…. now it makes sense hehehe Thats why I didn’t send Sharmilla´s Hug… how would I hug that huge boulder… keeping the compression without all my ribs??? hahaha

He gave me some ibuprofen for the next 5 days and I´ll have to drop the climbing for few weeks… told ya…. should´ve gone for chess!! hahahahaha

The funniest part was checking the X-ray and chatting about all the other fractures I had and having them checking my collarbone that I broke in 4 parts years ago… “wow… I can see it…. can I touch it??” said the doc when he saw it!! hahahahaha

Anyways… maybe it is because of the cold weather, the tiredness for the past months, the change of the altitude or the injury… but since I got to Nepal I´m sleeping like a beast… loads… serious…. laziness is hitting as hell… fortunately thats exactly what I have to do right now before going for the trekking!! =) so… lets eat sleep and repeat!! hahahaha

Looking forward for the time we will go for the climb surf sleep and repeat!! hahahah

Hope you all are awesome and having fun with my posts and don´t worry… my ribs are already 127%…. in few days itll be 209%!! =)

Cheers beasts!! and good vibes!! =)

Evan

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