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nuggets-and-french-fries · 11 months

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Taking Chances: Chapter Forty Nine.

Note: This is the penultimate chapter and I’m beyond thrilled to say that because I am so ready to move on with Taron and Nicola’s story.

That being said, this chapter is only half edited so keep that in mind when reading. Also keep in mind that this chapter mentions the use of drugs and alcohol. it also mentions suicide and other forms of abuse; and last but certainly not least, this mentions adoption.

I think that covers it. Enjoy!

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Laying in bed wide awake was nothing new for Nicola but with her mind going a million miles per milli-second with the events that led up to this point, it was no wonder why she couldn’t seem to settle herself.

“Are you awake?” Nicola asked just above a whisper. When no reply came, she continued to lay there until she grew annoyed with her brain and gently got out of bed.

She quietly walked down to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea before sitting on the sofa and turning on the tv in the hopes that whatever was on would help lull her into a sense of tiredness and she’d be able to finally fall asleep.

*Flashback*

After saying her goodbyes and giving her well wishes to Edna, Nicola sat on the ground with her bags next her in the airport baggage claim. She honestly had no clue what to do.

She sat there with a blank look on her face as she picked at the skin around her fingers, deciding what her next move would be. Did she really want to leave the protection of the airport building and face reality or did she just want to stay in her current spot and let the world pass her by. She didn’t know. She felt lost.

Sure she talked to Edna on the plane and told her certain things, but it didn’t help like she had hoped. Instead she felt fried, like her brain was a hamster running on its hamster wheel with no end in sight.

Nicola pulled out her phone and saw that she had a few missed calls from Brenna and a couple texts from her as well. Nicola had no energy to reply but the one thing she had the energy for was talking to Taron. As much as he had made her mad and pissed her off at times, he felt like her rock, her safe place. She knew it didn’t make much sense but now that they were on the same page of moving on for the better, she felt like she really needed him in this moment.

She was about to press his contact name but when Brenna called, Nicola stopped and thought better of it. She knew it wasn’t smart to do until she and Taron could talk face to face.

Nicola took a deep breath and answered the call, but one thing was for sure, she could really use one of Taron’s comforting hugs right about now.

Meanwhile back in Cannes, Taron sat on the bed taking a small break from packing. He scrolled through his phone and looked at the pictures from the previous night.

He still felt like he was on cloud nine with everything. Not only had the movie been well received but he and Nicola had finally taken a step forward to repair their relationship and he was hopeful that they’d end up together. Though in saying that, Nicola had disappeared again, which at this point was par for the course. Taron would show his vulnerability to her and then she’d run. This time though, he knew something larger was keeping them apart, he just wasn’t aware of what it was yet.

Clicking on an image taken of him and Luna, Taron smiled but jumped when a knock sounded at the door.

“Taron, it’s Guy.” Guy prudently said through the door.

Taron frowned to himself. He felt the worry flood over him. He thought it was about one of the kids, but nothing could have prepared him for what Guy was about to say.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Are the kids ok?” Taron asked as he opened the door, revealing Guys concerned expression.

“The kids are fine, but I don’t think Nicola is.” Guy replied.

Taron’s face paled and his heart started racing.

“Go on.” Taron said cautiously.

Guy took a deep breath and played the voice message for Taron that was left before Nicola was notified.

‘Hello, my name is detective Fellows with Scotland Yard. I’m looking for Nicola Ryan. We have tried contacting her but are unable to do so. If you are able to reach her, please tell her that we need to speak as soon as possible as this is a family matter. Thank you for your time, have a good afternoon.’

Taron stood in his spot feeling even more concerned.

“What was the family matter?” Taron asked.

Guy didn’t reply, instead, he played another voice message.

‘Hi, this is Amanda Robinson with Chilton family services. I have made attempts to contact Nicola Ryan in regard to the passing of her parents, Carolyn Henrik and Greg Owens but have been unsuccessful at this time. She has listed you as her emergency contact, so if you do hear from her, please let her know that she is to contact me as soon as possible. Thank you.’

“Are you ok?” Guy said after he pocketed his phone and looked at Taron who was unmoving. He knew something was wrong and this confirmed his suspicions. He had to get to her now.

“She needs me.” Taron said as his body put itself on autopilot.

Sitting on the train, Nicola replayed the conversation she had with Brenna on the phone.

*Mini Flashback*

“Is everything ok Nic, you’ve not answered me at all.” Brenna asked. She wasn’t mad at all, she just wanted to make sure that her friend was ok after Nicola told her about the events of the premiere.

“I left early.” Nicola replied numbly.

Brenna’s brows furrowed.

“What happened?” Brenna questioned.

“My parents.” Nicola said.

Brenna could hear the silent tears in Nicola’s tone. She could sense that her friend was in more distress than she was letting on.

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want me just to stay on the phone with you?” Brenna asked.

“Stay on the phone.” Nicola said, closing her exhausted eyes to stop the tears she felt building.

“Ok. I’m here when and if you are ready.” Brenna answered.

Nicola stayed on the phone with her friend for a while longer until she felt her tailbone screaming for relief.

Nicola stood up and went outside to hail a taxi to the train station.

“I’m staying on with you but if I randomly hang up on you, I’m getting in a taxi.” Nicola explained.

“Ok.” Brenna said, taking a drink of her coffee.

“Can I ask you something?” Nicola questioned and Brenna chuckled.

“You just did.” She replied, trying to make light of everything. It didn’t work.

“Bren.” Nicola simply said.

“Sorry. Go on.” Brenna responded, feeling bad.

Nicola bit her lower lip.

“How did you deal with the emotions when your father passed away?” Nicola asked, feeling her heart shatter all over again.

Brenna’s heart sank and she closed her eyes.

“Oh god Nic. When did it happen?” Brenna asked, putting two and two together.

“Last night while we were watching the movie.” Nicola told Brenna softly.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” Brenna said.

They talked for a while longer before the taxi arrived.

*End of Mini Flashback*

Again, Nicola should have felt better after having told someone, but she didn’t, and she was beginning to wonder if she’d ever feel relief after talking about all of this.

While Taron was on the way to the airport, he googled to see what the cheapest flight back to London was. He needed to find the next available one but to his dismay, he couldn’t find any for the life of him.

He groaned to himself and called Lindsay to see if she had anymore luck on her end. Unsurprisingly, she was able to find exactly what he needed. She gave him the details and as soon as the car pulled up, Taron jumped out, grabbed his bags and ran to where his airline section was.

“Passport please.” The lady behind the desk asked.

Taron handed the id over and waited anxiously as she checked him in.

“Perfect. Just put your bag on here and we’ll be set.” She told him as she gave him the passport back and printed the necessary luggage tags.

“Look, I’m kind of in a rush so could you hurry up.” Taron said feeling his anxiety rise.

He really had no clue why it was rising but he knew Nicola and knew that she did irrational things when she was upset and/or had her walls up.

“I’m going as fast as I can, sir.” The lady replied firmly, not appreciating his tone.

Taron sighed and tapped his fingers on the counter they were resting on.

“Have a good flight.” The woman said as she finally passed him everything he needed.

Taron didn’t say anything, he just ran to where security was. He could only pray that nothing would hold him up any longer than necessary.

Being on planes made Taron uncomfortable at best. He hated being trapped in a tin can that could down at any time should it decide to. He hated the idea of feeling so small and invisible. He was someone who thrived on attention, even if he did hate the lime light at times.

He especially hated being trapped on a plane when someone he loved and cared about needed him.

While sitting in his seat, Taron’s knee kept bouncing up and down and no matter how many times he willed himself to stop, it kept doing it.

“Can I get you anything?” The young flight attendant asked, stopping at Taron with the bar cart.

Taron looked at him and gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“Rum and coke.” Taron replied, needing something to calm himself.

The flight attendant nodding his head and got to work making Taron’s drink. When he was done, he handed Taron the cup and went on his way.

Taron took a drink and allowed the liquid to fill his body and calm his brain. It worked a little bit, but it wasn’t by much.

“What’re you having?” An elderly gentleman asked Taron, making him jump.

As far as Taron could recall, no one was sitting next to him when he boarded the plane but then again he was in his head so maybe there was someone there and he didn’t notice till now.

“Rum and coke.” Taron replied cautiously.

“Sounds good. I’ll have what he’s having.” The man spoke. Taron looked at him and swore he had seen him before. He just couldn’t remember where.

“George is the name.” George said as he shook Taron’s hand.

“Taron.” Taron replied.

“Where are you headed?” George asked, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Home to Wales.” Taron answered simply, not wanting to give too much away. He didn’t know George at all; or at least that he could think of.

“Hmm, I love Wales. My wife loved it too.” George replied, closing his eyes as if remembering the good old days.

“Married my Edna there too.” George said, opening his eyes.

Taron smiled at him.

“That’s nice.” Taron replied.

He and George talked for a long while and it made Taron feel calmer. It was nice to have some company to help pass the time.

“This Nicola sounds like a Goodin.” George told Taron.

“It took me a while to see it but yes, she’s a very good one.” Taron answered, feeling his heart skip a beat at the thought of her.

“Make sure to hang on to that.” George warned.

“I intend to.” Taron told him as everyone disembarked the aircraft.

With the sun now setting and painting the sky in a beautiful mix of oranges and pinks, the birds chirped happily in the trees as the warm sea breeze rustled the leaves of the tree in Nicola’s front yard.

It was a beautiful sight but now being home and having the harsh reality slap her in the face, Nicola felt like an imposter. She felt like she didn’t belong here. She felt as though she was in a nightmare and no matter how hard she tried; nothing was waking her.

Nicola stood there looking over the grandeur that was the house. She remembered the first time that she and Jasmine saw it. They were both so excited for the new adventures that would be had in it. Little did Nicola know that a lot of momentous milestones would be reached there.

Tina realized that Nicola was pregnant in that house, Taron found out that he was going to be a father again in that house (even though it didn’t go the way Nicola had hoped), Luna was brought home to that house, Taron and Nicola had many ups and downs in that house, Luna had her first smile in this house. Everything was made in this house and now, Nicola was coming home to this house knowing that her mother was gone. That was it, there was no more hope of her mother coming to her asking for forgiveness, no more chance at having a proper relationship with her mother.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again and the thought of that made something in Nicola snap. She felt enraged, betrayed, disappointed, heartbroken, alone, invisible, small, like a child again discovering the cruelty the world held.

She hated feeling this way and she hated that she officially had more than the world placed on her shoulders and that she’d be facing all of this alone, or so she thought.

Driving at night was something that Taron loved doing, especially when it came to driving around Aber at night. People milled around laughing and chatting among themselves but the bar dwellers, they were easy to spot most of the time because they’d be stumbling around trying to walk straight. Some drunk people though had others escorting them out of the pubs and helping them into taxis so they could home safely.

The lights on the prom were enchantingly lit, giving off a romantic glow to the prom’s surroundings. In the distance, you could always hear the last little chirpings of the birds in far off trees as they settled in for the night. Not to mention the calming sea breeze that would pick up now and then, carrying the smell of the ocean as it flitted by. It was pure magic to Taron and one of the many reasons he loved Aber so much.

As the music in Taron’s car drifted through the spears of the radio system softly, Taron took a drink of his now cold coffee that he had made back at the London flat before he made the long journey home.

The entire way back to Wales, Taron’s mind was on Nicola and what had happened to her in the last few hours. His heart ached for the woman. He could remember when the Police knocked on his front door to tell him that Kate had passed. He recalled feeling like the wind had been sucked from his body while his mind went blank. His world stopped that day and faded into grey, as cliché as that may sound. It wasn’t until Nicola came into his life that he felt alive again, like his world had colour again, like his life had meaning again. All of this combined made him wonder how Nicola was holding up.

Taron got his answer when he took a little de tour past Nicolas house.

The first thing that caught his eye was the fact that the front door was wide open. It wasn’t like Nicola at all to do that. She was very particular about that, especially as she had two small children in her care. Seeing the door open made his insides sink. The next thing he noticed was the kitchen lamp that had been turned on, which casted light on a taller dark silhouette in the living room. At this time of night, he assumed Nicola would be in bed, so these two things were adding to his already heavy concerns.

Taron parked the car immediately and cautiously made his way to the front door; of course having his phone at the ready in case he needed to ring 999.

The closer Taron got to the house, the more that he could hear items being broken. When he got to the front door, he saw the house keys still in the lock. He walked in and took careful steps when he noticed Nicola’s carry-on bag and luggage laying vicariously on the floor in the foyer.

“Nicola.” Taron said softly, not wanting to draw any attention to himself in case this was in fact an emergency.

No answer came and Taron continued on to where he heard the smashing sounds coming from.

There he saw Nicola in the middle of the living room surrounded by bits of broken glass and various other materials of things that were once whole but now lied destroyed around her.

“What are you doing?” Taron asked incredulously as his eyes grew wide. Nicola was holding a glass vase above her head ready to throw it at the ground.

Nicola whipped around and instead of answering him, she angrily chucked it at him. Thankfully Taron ducked out of the way and the vase hit the wall behind him, shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“Nic, calm down.” Taron tried as he looked at her, holding his hands out in surrender.

Taron could see the darkness in her eyes and knew that she was far too in her emotional outburst to stop now. He knew very well that nothing was going to stop her, but he was damn well going to try.

His words did absolutely nothing to stop Nicola, in fact, they only spurred her on.

“FUCK YOU!” Nicola shouted louder than she ever had, continuing to throw things at him.

Taron had never seen her this upset, and they had had their fair share of arguments.

“I know that you’re upset but you need to stop before you hurt yourself.” Taron told her, moving closer to her to try and grab the last breakable thing in the living room.

Nicola didn’t reply to him and as he got closer, she felt her blood boil even more. Didn’t he care that she was hurting? Didn’t he know that this was helping her feel better? Didn’t he know that this was allowing her to release the pent-up rage she had collected over the years?

The woman didn’t hesitate in throwing the item in her hand at him.

Once that item was shattered, she looked around for more ammo, but she realized that she was out fragile things in the living room. Nicola forcefully wiped her tears away, growled and screamed, storming to the kitchen for more. Unfortunately for her, Taron was much faster this time and was able to get to her before she could destroy anything else.

Him blocking her way made her feel violent all of a sudden and it scared her. Sure she had strong feelings toward Taron, but she would never go as far as hitting him or hurting him physically, until now that is.

Nicola mustered all the strength she had left, balled her fists and started hitting Taron as hard as she could. She couldn’t explain why but hitting him felt so good. Hitting him was a long time coming.

Taron stood there and took it at first but then his chest started hurting from where she was brutally pounding him.

“Nicola, stop!” Taron said firmly as he grabbed her in the hopes that it would stop her. It didn’t work. It only made her flail her arms around as she tried to remove her hands from his grasp.

“Let me go!” Nicola shouted back as more tears fell.

“Not until you stop.” Taron told her, not realizing there was a fist heading straight for his jaw.

BANG!

Nicola got him square in the face.

Taron stumbled back a little bit as he held his jaw. He was part shocked, part impressed at her determination and part in pain.

“Jesus fuck woman!” Taron hollered at her.

Nicola stopped and looked at him as he pulled his hand away. She hadn’t meant to hit him in the face. He was just in the way. I mean after all; didn’t he know that you never stand in an angry woman’s way. Especially one that had just lost any chance of truly knowing her mother.

“I told you to let me go.” Nicola snapped.

Taron just looked at her, took a large breath and walked over to her.

“Put me down you idiot.” Nicola screeched as Taron wrapped his arm around her waist and picked her up, carrying her outside and to where his car was parked.

“Stay here.” Taron warned her and she knew he meant business. Part of her was grateful that he had come for her but part of her was still annoyed at him for ruining her tirade.

Nicola watched as Taron went back into the house, turned the light off, got her bags and locked the front door, concealing the mess at least for now.

“What are you doing?” Nicola asked when Taron opened the back door and threw her luggage inside.

“Get in the car.” He replied simply. Nicola did as she was told but she wasn’t thrilled about it.

When she was in the car, Taron made sure to lock the doors so that she could escape before he looked at her, his jaw throbbing something awful.

“We’re going back to mine.” He said. Nicola just turned her head and looked out her window, choosing to ignore him.

As they drove, she thought back to the last time she was in this seat. She and Taron had come home from Anglesea and fought about whose daughter Luna was. Nicola was adamant that Luna was hers but then again, so was Taron.

“You’re going to be fine.” Taron said, a lot softer this time.

Nicola did look at him, she couldn’t. Her heart hurt way too much, and she knew that if she looked at him, she’d break down and cry, even more than she already had been.

When she didn’t reply, Taron spoke up again.

“I know about what happened.” He said simply, letting his words hang in the air.

Nicola didn’t know what to say. If she was being honest, all she’d rather do is be in Taron’s arms as he held her close, this time without the punches she was giving him.

Once they got back to Taron’s, he told Nicola that she could clean up if she wanted to and offered for her to shower or take a bath if she really wanted while he made them some tea and took her bags to the guest room.

Nicola gave him a small smile and nodded as she went into the bathroom that Mikey mainly used.

She started her shower and instead of really cleaning herself up, she allowed the hot water to wash away all the anger she felt from before. She allowed the water to wash away all the tension she felt from the long journey home, and she allowed it to wash away all the anguished sobs that wracked her body.

From where Taron was in the kitchen, he could hear Nicola’s pain filled cries and wanted so badly to comfort her, but he knew better than that. He knew that everybody had their way of grieving and sometimes it was best to let the one in mourning be so that they could process their emotions in any way they needed to. Which reminded him that he needed to ice his jaw before bed.

By the time that Nicola had gotten out of the shower, her body ached, and her eyes were begging for a rest. Her stomach thought, that felt as though it could use food and lucky for her, Taron was in the kitchen putting some Oreos onto a plate for them to have before bed. Was it the healthiest? Not in the slightest but it was something comforting and nostalgic and right now they both needed that.

“Hey.” Nicola said quietly as she perched herself on a bar stool.

Taron looked at her and nodded. He wasn’t mad or upset, just extremely tired.

“Want some Oreos?” Taron offered, putting the plate off to the side of her but within easy reach. Nicola shook her head lightly.

“No.” Nicola said as she leaned forward and rested her head on the counter. She couldn’t keep it up any longer.

“Tired?” he asked her, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah.” Nicola replied as a yawn escape her lips.

“I’ll show you to your room.” Taron said, walking out of the kitchen and past Nicola.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Nicola told him, taking hold of his arm, looking at him with sadness and vulnerability. Taron felt his heart rate pick up.

He didn’t say anything to her, he simply let his fingers sip in between hers as he led her to his room.

Laying down in his bed, Nicola felt better knowing that she wasn’t by herself and that she was with the one she loved, even if she wasn’t ready to admit it just yet.

“You all good?” Taron asked he got in beside Nicola.

Nicola looked at him and took in how he looked. His eyes were tired and red, his hair was disheveled, and his face had slight covering of scruff while his attire was comfy and laid back. A simple old band shirt with a pair of sweatpants. He was the epitome of lazy but casual.

“I think so.” She replied as she itched the tip of her nose.

Taron looked at her and nodded.

“Good.” He replied as he turned over and turned off the light.

Nicola turned over so that her back was to him did her best to cocoon herself in his blankets, the smell of them lulling her into a sense of safety and security.

“Night Taron.” Nicola said as she closed her eyes.

He didn’t answer her though, he was trying to quietly go through his nightstand.

Nicola’s brows furrowed as she listened to what he was doing. When she heard the drawer shut, she turned so that she could kind of see him.

“What are you doing?” Nicola asked, scaring the shit out of Taron. So much so that he quickly hid the item he was looking for under the blankets.

“What? Nothing.” He replied a little to quickly. Nicola quired a brow at him.

“It wasn’t nothing Taron. What were you getting?” Nicola asked again.

Taron wasn’t budging in his answer. It remained adamant that he wasn’t doing anything.

“Ok fine. Have it your way.” Nicola said, beginning to turn back but as she was doing that, Taron pulled the item out of it’s hiding spot.

“What the hell is that?” Nicola asked, now sitting up and turning on her lamp.

Taron felt defeated.

“It’s my sleeping mask ok.” Taron replied, looking down at the ratty old thing.

“A sleeping mask?” Nicola asked with amusement evident in her voice.

“Yeah, alright. Poke fun all you want but it helps me.” Taron told her.

Nicola chuckled as she held her hands up.

“It’s so ratty.” Nicola said as she saw it clearly.

“If you’re going to keep this up, you can sleep in the guest room.” Taron said, feeling defensive.

“Taron relax, I’m only teasing you.” Nicola said as she smiled at him. He just looked at her with slight annoyance in his eyes.

“If it helps you, that’s good.” She told him honestly as she moved down, turned the lamp off again and cocooned herself in the blankets once more.

“That’s it? No other remark?” Taron asked, not believing that she was going to leave it there.

“Nope. Night.” Nicola replied, sleep now evident in her voice. Or at least that’s what Taron thought.

He remained skeptical but put his mask on anyway.

“Night.” He replied, slipping the material over his eyes and laying down.

After some time, Nicola was still wide awake and finding her brain off on one with all sorts of things. She tried to will herself to sleep but with each attempt made, it proved useless.

Eventually Nicola turned over so that she faced Taron in the hopes that the new potion would help but it wasn’t. Nothing she was trying was helping.

*End of Flashback*

Nicola flicked through the tv channels until she concluded that no show was helping her either, so with that realization, Nicola turned the tv off and went back to the kitchen to put her cup in the sink.

As she passed the counter, her eyes landed on a paper pad and a pen conveniently sitting in front of her eyes. Nicola grabbed them and went to sit at the dining table to write down everything that she was feeling.

Once she was finished writing everything down, she went back to Taron’s room and laid down next to him. She was facing him and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she could make out the mark on his jaw where she had accidentally punched him.

She felt her eyes well up with tears again and before she knew what she was doing, she reached out for Taron and gently caressed the forming bruise. She let her fingers feel the stubble on his face, let them feel the warmth of his skin.

The more she did that, the more her heart burst into pieces all over again. She attempted to stop her crying but the more that she did that, the more she felt her body betray her. She felt the tears fall from her eyes and as they did, she leaned forward and hovered over Taron’s lips.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered as she connected her lips with his in a small kiss.

What she didn’t know was that Taron was awake, he felt her come back to bed, he felt her caress his face and he felt the pain and anguish radiate from her body as she kissed him.

Nicola pulled away and sniffed.

Taron ripped his mask off and captured her lips with his again, pouring every ounce of love into it. He wanted to show her that it was ok, that she was safe and that he would do anything and everything to protect her. He wanted to show her that she was his whole world, besides the kids of course.

Nicola continued to let her tears fall as they kissed and held each other tightly, as though they were afraid that they’d be taken from one another.

Eventually they pulled apart as they desperately needed air. Nicola took this opportunity to look Taron in the eye.

“Make love to me.” Nicola whispered and Tarn just looked at her, unsure if she was being serious or not. He looked at her questioningly.

“Yes.” Nicola replied, pulling Taron close to her again, needing to feel him pressed against her.

Taron kissed her lips hungrily before slowly moving down to kiss her neck.

Nicola let her body give into the pleasure Taron was giving her. She allowed her mind to fully relax and to live in this moment. She let her fingers tangle themselves in Taron’s hair as the craving for him intensified.

She had forgotten just how much he set her body on fire with a passion she had never known before. With a desire to please him, with the desire to love him fully and completely.

Taron allowed his body to feel the same. He allowed his body to feel the gentle touches Nicola offered him as he kissed down her body, as he let his fingers trace every curve and dip of her body, as her moans filled the air in erotic ecstasy. As her melodic cries of pure euphoria hit him in the places of his body he forgot were there. As her body writhed and reacted to his touches. As she grasped the sheets beneath her as if trying to ground herself. As they became one. As they fell asleep in the arms of each other after the blissful sensuality of love making.

The next morning, the sun shone through the curtains as the sounds of the outside world roused her from her sleep. She felt like she was on cloud nine. She felt lighter and she felt happier but the thought of having to talk things through with Taron terrified her. She didn’t know how the conversation was going to go but with her feelings written down, she decided to hope for the absolute best.

“Morning.” Taron greeted as he emerged from the bathroom.

Nicola turned to face him and took in the water droplets that sat on his skin and clung to his chest hair. She took in how sexy he looked as he walked over to his closet. How tempting he looked with the towel hung that low on his hips, giving her a little peek at the hair that traveled down from his navel and sat neatly groomed around his penis.

“Fuck.” Nicola muttered to herself, but Taron heard it and grew intrigued.

“You ok?” Taron asked, walking out of the closet now dressed in a long-sleeved shirt, which had it’s sleeves pushed half way up his arms, and shorts.

Sat down next to her and brushed strands of her hair away from her face while smiling down at her warmly.

“I’m ok baby.” Nicola replied warily, almost scared of his reaction.

Her words warmed his heart and set off more butterflies within his belly. Taron leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly, humming at the contact of their mouths.

“You sure?” He asked genuinely.

Nicola’s cheeks reddened as she tried to move again, feeling the same stiffness pull at her muscles.

“Sore.” She replied, feeling coy all of a sudden.

“Shall I carry you downstairs and we can talk?” Taron offered, making Nicola chuckle.

She lifted her arms toward him and allowed him to carry her but not before she asked him to get the folded piece of paper she had written on the night before.

With the paper now securely between her teeth, Taron gently picked her up and carried her to the sofa, gently her placed her on it, making sure she was comfortable and went to make them some tea.

Sitting on the sofa, Nicola realized that she was in the spot she was in the first time she entered this house and what led to it.

*Mini Flashback*

Taron got his son settled in his car seat before getting in the car himself and heading in the direction of the park.

Unfortunately for him, he saw 'the woman' sitting at a picnic table keeping an eye on Jasmine.

"Right, go play." Taron said to Mikey as he took him out of his car seat and set him down on the ground.

Mikey ran off and started playing.

Taron locked the car and took a deep breath.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nicola snapped harshly when she saw who was approaching.

"It's none of your damn business." Taron spat back.

"Well if your moody ass is going to be here then yes, it is my business." Nicola sassed.

Taron scoffed and sat down on the same seat as she and removed his sunglasses.

Nicola glanced at him and really took him in. He wasn't bad looking, he had nice eyes and a sharp jaw. He was pretty cute.

"Take a fucking picture." Taron seethed, making Nicola jump.

"Excuse me?" She questioned.

"Stop staring." Taron said, locking eyes with her.

Nicola swallowed harshly. His eyes had turned an almost black shade and he looked like he was thirsty for blood.

"Staring and trying to figure someone out are two very different things." Nicola replied with a raised brow.

"And what exactly are you trying to figure out?" He said dangerously low.

"What an asshole like you gets out of hanging around parks like this. I'll call the police you know." She said, not realizing that he had come here with Mikey.

"You're a bitch, you know that." Taron countered before turning to look at Mikey, who was happily playing with Jasmine.

"Yup, definitely a Taz." Nicola smirked.

Taron's heart stopped. No one besides Kate had called him that, not even his mum. Only Kate was allowed to call him that.

"Shut the fuck up." The man said, slamming his fists on the table.

"Since I met you, all you've done is piss me off. You've insulted me and I think it's my turn to insult you. Why is a woman like you in a park like this anyway? Is it because no one wants a self centered, condescending slag like you? You feel better surrounding yourself with others like you? Or is it because no one wants to get between those legs, and this is where you come to sulk to yourself about it?" Taron said, eerily calm.

This didn't phase Nicola in the slightest as all she was focused on were his lips, which is funny because normally she'd slap the shit out of him but there was just something about him that spoke to her.

Before she could think of what she was doing, her hand went to the back of his neck and she pulled him forward, crashing her lips onto Taron's.

His lips were soft, and the kiss was magical but for Taron, he felt awful. How could something feel so right and so wrong at the same time?

Meanwhile from the top of the play fort, Mikey watched as the two adults kissed.

The little boy crouched down so that he was hidden and started crying.

"What's wrong?" Jasmine asked as she finally looked up from her rock collection.

"I hate my dad." Mikey whimpered.

Jasmine looked toward Taron, covered her mouth and started giggling.

"They're kissing." She said through her giggles.

Mikey hid his face, making Jasmin stop giggling.

The little girl attempted to hug her friend, but Mikey got up and ran over to his father.

"Mikey stop!" Jasmin called but Mikey wasn't listening.

Mikey quickly reached his father.

"That's my daddy!" Mikey shouted as he pushed Nicola away from Taron.

Despite the fact that Taron had massively hurt his son, Mikey wasn't willing to share Taron just yet.

Nicola looked at the man she'd just kissed and saw the hurt, confusion and sadness in his eyes.

Taron sat frozen in place as Mikey climbed up into his father's lap.

Absentmindedly, Taron wrapped his right arm around his son and held him protectively.

"Mine." Mikey said as he wrapped his small arms around Taron's neck and glared daggers at the woman.

It was evident to Nicola that Mikey was definitely this man's son and that she had just made a huge mistake.

Her cheeks went bright red, and she bit her lower lip in embarrassment.

Taron finally rejoined reality and realized what had just happened.

"Kate." He whispered as he touched his lips with his left hand, displaying the fact that he was wearing a ring.

Nicola's eyes landed on the gold band on his ring finger, and she sucked in a breath. Of course he was married, and she'd just kissed a married man. Fuck!

The next day, Nicola was sitting in her car trying to think of what to get Taron as an apology for treating him so poorly.

"What do I get for him!" Nicola groaned out loud.

"KFC's always a good choice." Kate said from the backseat.

Nicola hit her steering wheel a couple times before agreeing with her inner voice and went to KFC.

"At a girl." Kate praised with a wide smile.

It didn't take Nicola long to get everything she needed for the apology but then it dawned on her, where in the actual hell did this man live?

Just as she stepped out of the food place, two women walked past her talking about a house with blossoming rain lilies out front.

"They were always my favorite." Kate replied.

Nicola smiled to herself. She remembered driving past that house once as she took a shortcut to work one morning.

"He's not long home but he'd appreciate the chicken. Save him from almost burning the house down again." Kate giggled.

Because there was hardly any traffic, Nicola made it to the house quicker than she thought she would.

"Here goes nothing." She said as she set the food down and knocked on the door.

Nicola took a step back and waited for an answer.

"Can I-" Taron began before realizing that no one was there.

As he went to close the door, a gentle breeze picked up and rustled the plastic bag.

Taron looked down and saw the take away bag.

He smiled to himself as he bent down to grab the food.

"Thanks mam." Taron said, loud enough for Nicola to hear.

She coyly stepped forward and Taron's smile immediately fell from his face.

"Before you say anything, please hear me out?" She asked, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

Taron could hear the genuine tone in her voice.

"I was making tea." He replied.

Nicola shrugged.

"No, it's ok. I don't want to interrupt. I just wanted to drop that off as an apology for how I've treated you." The woman responded.

Taron nodded friendly.

"Come in." He said, standing to the side.

The woman slowly walked into the house and stood in the entryway awkwardly. "Ok." She said.

"Can I take your jacket?" Taron asked as he came back from the kitchen.

"Yeah s-sure." Nicola stuttered.

Taron hung up her jacket and led her to the living room.

"I'll be back with the tea." He said.

Nicola smiled in response.

"Take a seat, I'll only be a minute." He continued before walking away.

Sitting down, Nicola felt nervous and on edge, not knowing what his response would be to what she had to say.

She wanted to offer her help but with not knowing his name and knowing that the name Taz pissed him off, Nicola decided it was best if she just stayed quiet and tried to get her thoughts in order before he came back.

"Thank you for being willing to hear me out. I really do appreciate it." Nicola said as Taron placed the tray of tea down on the coffee table.

He gave Nicola a tight-lipped smile.

"Be strong Nicola, you've got this." Kate whispered as she watched from the other end of the room.

"How do you take your tea?" Taron asked as he doctored up his own cup.

"Same as you." She said with a smile.

When he was done making up her tea, he passed her a cup and sat down.

"So, the real reason I came here was to hopefully start over." Nicola admitted.

"Go on." Taron said, waiting for her to continue.

"Can I be honest with you?" Nicola questioned.

Taron shrugged defensively.

"You were right, I have been a bitch but-" She began before Taron rolled his eyes.

"There's always an excuse, isn't there?" He sassed.

Nicola looked down and bit her lower lip.

"I know there isn't a reason for you to believe anything I say, but I'm trying to explain myself. I know that I was awful." Nicola replied, looking up at him.

"The first time I met you, I had literally just been granted custody of my little sister and it was a really rough morning. I was annoyed and I took that anger out on you." She explained.

Taron quirked his brow.

"And that's the truth is it?" He replied.

Nicola lightly scoffed.

"Why would I lie, I'm not like that." She answered.

"When I was 3, my grandparents were granted custody of me because my mother was and still is a drug addict and would sleep around almost all the time. It got so bad, and she'd leave me on my own for long periods of time." She explained, running the tip of her thumb around the rim of the cup.

Watching her, it became clear that she was being truthful. Taron still remained defensive but respected her for opening up to him.

"When I heard that my mother was doing that again to my little sister, I knew I had to give Jasmine a chance at a better life but to do that I had to move from my one-bedroom flat to a two bedroom and then had to fight my mother on everything." She finished.

Taron closed his eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I know I've acted like a bitch but I'm really not. I know I've been awful to you and there is no excuse for that. I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm a nice person under all of that." She explained.

Taron nodded.

"And I know that the way that I handled our last meeting wasn't right and I feel so guilty. I had no idea that you were married and had I been in my right mind, I would have just slapped you and walked away." She chuckled slightly.

"I'm not married." He said, shocking himself as well.

"But you're wearing a ring." Nicola pointed out.

"I mean I was married but not anymore. She died." Taron answered.

"Shit, I feel even worse now." Nicola said.

Taron surprised himself by laying a hand on top of Nicola's.

"Please don't feel bad. To be honest, you calling me Taz took me by surprise. My wife used to call me that and I hadn't expected to hear anyone else use the name." He explained.

"Right, I get you. I'll make sure I don't do it again. Sorry." She promised.

"Don't be sorry. You couldn't have known." Taron replied, slightly warming to her.

Before either of them could say anything else, Pickles took his chance and climbed up Taron's leg.

"Hello you." Taron greeted, scooping up and petting the furball.

"Who's this cutie?" Nicola asked.

"This is Pickles." Taron introduced.

Nicola giggled.

"Pickles. Cute name." She said.

"My son picked the name." Taron stated.

"Does he like pickles?" Nicola questioned.

"His favorite tv show is the Rugrats." The man said with amusement

"Let me guess, he likes someone from the pickles family?" Nicola wondered out loud.

"Yeah, Stu apparently reminds him of me." Taron answered sadly.

"You can say no but you look like you could use a hug." Nicola noted carefully, really not wanting to undo her apology and make him feel uncomfortable again.

"How about we just start with names." Taron replied, not feeling quite ready for any kind of intimacy from another woman.

Nicola smiled.

"Sounds good. I'm Nicola." She said warmly.

"Taron." He replied.

"Nice to meet you Taron." Nicola said.

"Nice job Pickles. You're a good ice breaker." Kate said as the feline walked past her and toward his food bowl.

*End of Mini Flashback*

“Where’d you go?” Taron asked as he walked into the living room holding the same tray he did when they first talked properly.

“I was thinking about the first time I sat in this spot.” Nicola said as she watched Taron make up her tea. She smiled to herself.

“I brought you KFC.” Nicola said, looking around at the décor Taron had up.

She saw that Luna’s picture still sat up next to the one Taron had of Mikey and Kate when Mikey was freshly born.

“I remember.” Taron told her as he passed her a cup.

“Thank you.” She said, taking a sip.

“You’re welcome.” Taron replied, sitting on the ground by Nicola’s feet.

Nicola looked at him questioningly.

“Why are you down there?” Nicola asked and Taron shrugged at her, keeping his reasoning to himself for now.

Nicola ran her thumb around the rim of the cup just as she did at least a year prior.

“It was the first time I met Pickles too.” Nicola mused, looking at the coffee table where the letter sat.

“He took a real shine to you.” Taron added, making nod in agreement.

“Taron?” Nicola voiced, looking down at him.

“Yes?” He replied, keeping his eyes locked on hers.

“This is for you.” Nicola said as she reached for the paper and passed it to him.

Taron placed his mug down and took the folded paper from her.

“What is it?” He wondered out loud.

Nicola bit her lower lip in anticipation.

“I couldn’t sleep last night so I came down here for tea and to watch tv, but it didn’t work. When I was coming back from the kitchen, I saw the pen and aper pad you had on the counter.” Nicola explained.

“What is it though?” He asked. He could probably guess but he wanted to her it from her.

“It’s a letter. I thought it’d be better if you read what I wanted to say to you. That way we don’t fight, and I can get all my words out the way I want to.” Nicola explained further.

Taron nodded and proceeded to open it.

‘Dear Taron,

You are asleep right now and seem to be sleeping deeply which I’m glad for, but I can’t sleep. My mind feels so clouded and heavy with everything that has happened between us as well as things that have happened in the past few hours. I know that we have had our fair share of ups and downs but for right now, I don’t want to talk about that. I’d rather talk about is my past, if that’s ok.

You already know that my grandparents got full custody of me when I was 3 because my mother left me home alone for long periods of time while she was off on benders but what I didn’t tell you was that my grandparents actually adopted me. It was so hard for them to see their only daughter constantly abusing her body with drugs, alcohol and various other harmful acts but it pained them even more to see their very young granddaughter ignored by the one person she should have been able to rely on.

Things with them were fantastic. I had them all to myself and they gave me a safe place to be. A safe place to grow up. Unfortunately, my grandmother got sick and sadly passed away. I was only 6. It was very sad but somehow grandpa and I handled it well. We decided that we were going to move out of London for a fresh start but then my mother got herself into some trouble with the law and it took a toll on my grandpa. So much so, he ended up committing suicide. I had no idea how bad his depression had gotten and to this day, part of me wishes that I would have paid more attention to that rather than chasing my friends around London and getting into all sorts of shit. Shit I never want either of the kids getting into.

Anyway, it wasn’t long after he passed that I learned that my mother was pregnant with Jasmine. When I heard that, I got angry. I felt like she had let me down so much, ignored me for way too long that I didn’t care. She tried to reach out, but I was having non of it. I refused to get tangled up with her.

That went on for a while but then when one of my friends, who works with addicts, caught wind that Jasmine was going through the same shit I was, I knew that I had to do something. I felt like I needed to protect her from the evil that was my mother’s world. From there, we moved to Aber, I officially got custody of her, met you and as they say, the rest is history.

The rest is history….

That’s such a weird thing to say, especially now.

What pains me even more than my past etc. is knowing that my mother is history. That my chances of having my mother come to me apologizing for everything she’s put me and Jasmine through is history. The chances of Luna knowing her grandmother is history. My chances of having a proper mother is history.

The one thing I know for certain is that I don’t want us to be history. I want us to be the future. I want us to raise the kids to be strong, brave and courageous individuals who see that world for all wonders it holds.

I want us….’

Taron folded the paper back up and looked at Nicola who had tears in her eyes. He could tell that she was nervous, and he could see that at any moment she was going to cry, whether from relief or from grief, he didn’t know. The one thing he was certain of though, Nicola required reassurance.

Taron got up onto his knees in front of Nicola, took her face between his hands gently and tenderly kissed her lips before pulling her into hug.

“I want us too.” He breathed into her ear.

Nicola chuckled with relief, bursting into tears. Finally able to let her walls come tumbling down, never again to keep them apart for as long as they both shall live……

===

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