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kecpdriving · 3 years

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Illicit Affairs - Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

pls like & reblog & pls send me asks (i’ve turned anon on now) about how you feel ily <3

note: this is not a soulmate au, but there's soulmate energy happening so it moves fast-ish? also lmk if you wanted to be added to the tag list.

previous chapters

Chapter three: I’ll be awake and I’ll be with you.

THROUGHOUT THE LAST MONTH OR SO You and Aaron had exchanged flirtatious letters between each other. They were filled with admirations and stories. Aaron wrote about how badly he craved to hold you - to touch you in every way imaginable. He told you stories about when he thinks of your beauty and your laugh while working a case.

You wrote how this was exhilarating. Leaving the letters where Haley could possibly notice was thrilling to you. It was fun now. You were seeing them everyday now. You wrote too Aaron in one letter that you needed to be alone with him. You wanted to see that rare smile you and Jack cause up close and personal. You told him that you needed to hear the words he wrote whispered in her ear.

They got the letters every night when you would leave. You would leave Aaron’s in his coat pocket when hugging them goodbye, in their mail addressed to Aaron only, or in his office on the desk. Aaron had the easy way out. He put the one he wrote to you in with your nightly pay. This had been your only way to be romantic with each other. The only way to flirt. Of course you texted with each other. Aaron wasn’t big on texting though and Haley knew that. And he knew Haley better than anyone, Aaron knew she would be suspicious if he suddenly was glued to his phone. Plus, you told him to not worry about texting you at night when it was time for him to be with Jack.

You did talk on the phone a lot. Almost every night around eleven or twelve. Even when Aaron had been away on a case, he would still call. One night about four days ago, one of Aaron’s agents heard him telling you that he missed you so much and how he couldn’t wait to see you. You laughed when hearing the panic in his voice when they heard the agent tease him for flirting with his wife. Only if they knew who he was really talking to.

You were finishing up writing your letter for tonight while watching the news on the tv. A big storm was hitting and it did not look pretty. You hated storms much like Jack who was sitting a distance away from the window but still watching the harsh rain fall and the big gusts of wind blow trash cans around and branches off trees. It was to get worse. Thunder clapped loudly in the sky and that’s when Jack ran over to you and cuddled into your side. You could see the bright lightning bolts in the sky light up what usually is a pretty sunny street.

“Hey, Jack,” you rubbed his back to comfort him. He cried into you and broke your heart. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What secret?” He peeked his head out of your side with tear stained eyes. You frowned and wiped the tears away from the boy's eyes and dried his cheeks.

You picked Jack up into your lap and faced the window while sitting on the couch. “I’m also afraid of storms. When I was about your age though, My Papa told me that when it would thunder it meant all the Angels in heaven were bowling. And when it’s really loud and there’s a bolt of lightning that means they got a strike! It helped me to not be so scared of storms.” you explained the old tale parents would tell their children to not be scared anymore. you watched as Jack relaxed. He didn’t seem so afraid anymore.

Jack turned to you and pointed out of the window, “Can we watch them play?”

“We sure can! We just have to stay here and not go close to the window, okay?” Jack nodded and laid against you. They stayed like that for a few hours while Jack told stories about random things he’s either made up or stories about his dad. He loved that man so much and it warmed your heart. Maybe one day you could love Aaron just as much. Jack was dozing off in your lap and to be quite honest, you too was dozing off. Watching the rainfall for so long felt so relaxing. Right before you were about to fall into a slumber, the front door opened with a huff and puff of someone who could only be Aaron. Like always, he put his keys down, his briefcase, and his coat away.

“Hey there sleepy heads,” you smiled lazily and Jack waved at his father who was approaching jack and you. Everything in Aaron wanted to lay down with you and just fall asleep, but he couldn’t. Something within him was so happy at the sight of you and Jack cuddled together. “Hey buddy, go to your room, okay? I’ll be up soon.” Aaron shook Jack and he listened. Jack ran right up the stairs.

you sat up and smiled at Aaron while yawning and stretching your arms a bit. “Sorry for nodding off a bit. I know I’m supposed to have all eyes on him. We were watching the rain- I told him the old angels tale. It’s 8:30, you’re home late.”you realized the time when looking at the tv box in front of them. “I literally thought Jack and I were sitting there for like twenty minutes.” you laughed to herself.

“Don’t worry about nodding off. You looked tired this morning,” you were exhausted. Lately, you’ve been tossing and turning and only getting a few hours of sleep every night. It was probably from stress and your mind constantly spinning with thoughts. “Haley should be home in a few. She was about ten minutes from here when she called me right before I walked in.”

“Okay. Jack already ate. He’s all set for bed. Just needs to brush his teeth and- Ah!” You were cut off by yourself when you screamed at the world's loudest thunderclap. It sounded as if every house around them fell down. Covering your mouth from pure shock and embarrassment, you looked up at Aaron who was laughing at you. “It’s not funny!”

He finished up laughing and dragged his hand down his face that rested on his chin, “Yes, it is. It’s okay, we’re all afraid of something. Now just listen to those angels bowl while I go get Jack ready for bed.”

Aaron went upstairs and maybe two minutes later Haley walked in absolutely drenched in rain. You had gotten up and collected your things when Haley stopped you. “Honey, I can’t let you drive in that. My car was slipping all over the road. I couldn’t see through my windshield even with my wipers on. It’s bad out there. We have a guest room, please stay here tonight. It’s bad out there. Aaron won’t care if you stay.” No, Haley, he most certainly will not care.

You looked out the window to see how bad it actually was outside. It was bad and it was only getting worse. looking at Haley who was awaiting for your answer and took a deep breath. “That would be nice, Haley, thank you.”

“Awesome. I’ll go set up the guest room.” Haley was off to the room down the hall near Aaron’s office. you put your bag back down and keys beside it. She hung her coat and left her shoes by the door where they had been all day long. Aaron had come down the stairs dressed in black joggers, a plain t-shirt and some socks. It made you smile to see him dressed so casually. His hair even looked a bit messy.

“Hey,” you crossed your arms and stood in front of him. “I’m spending the night. Haley didn’t want me to drive in the storm.” you explained the situation to Aaron who smirked. You knew what he was thinking -- you were thinking it too. “I’m grateful. I hate driving in storms.”

Aaron walked past you, following him to the little cart they had with all kinds of alcohol displayed on it. He poured himself a glass of something. It looked like scotch or bourbon but to you they were the same drink. “Sounds nice. We are very glad to have you.” For a minute there you thought he was mad. “Would you like a drink?”

“I shouldn’t. I’m at my workplace.” you chuckled softly. Aaron loved that sound.

“Nonsense. You’re off now, Y/N! Have a drink,” Haley spoke as she rounded the corner. It was like she was listening in on the conversation. She leaned into Aaron and held onto his arm as if she was marking her territory. She kissed his arm lightly and smiled. “You’re our guest, let us treat you.”

“I’ll have a glass of wine, please. Red,” Aaron took out two bottles of wine to have you pick which one you wanted. “Thanks.” Aaron went to go open the bottle and left you and Haley alone together. It felt awkward to just to stand there looking at each other and not talking. And that’s when it dawned on you, youhad the perfect thing to say.

“Haley, do you have any tampons?” Really, Y/N, that’s your best ice breaker? You did need one though. you grinned awkwardly and Haley just laughed and took your hand, leading you to the half bath.

“You look petrified to ask! They’re under the sink in a basket. There are also some pads if you like those. Usually I keep them in here and in the bathroom in Aaron and my bedroom. Don’t be afraid to go in there if you need to.” Haley nodded and let you do what you needed. Did you really look scared? It was probably because you felt so weird knowing you and Aaron were going to have their little chat later in his house with his wife around. When you were done, you walked out of the bathroom to see them sitting in the living room. Aaron looked half dead and Haley did too.

Aaron smiled at her and handed her the glass. “Hey, Y/N, i’m wiped out. I’m going to get some sleep. All three of us sleep like rocks so make yourself at home. Goodnight.”

You nodded at Haley’s announcement, “Alright, get some rest. Goodnight!” And then there were two. Hotch looked at you when he heard the bedroom door shut upstairs and smiled. God, his smile was so nice. He didn’t look like the intimidating FBI agent anymore. He looked relaxed and happy. You were drowning in his eyes. They were so pretty--sometimes they looked green and sometimes brown but never a mixture of the two.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked in a low voice while you toyed around with the glass in hand. you stayed silent for a second and looked off to the picture of the family that was placed on the mantle next to the tv. “Hey, talk to me.”

You shook your head and sipped the wine you had left. “Not while she’s still awake okay? This is risky right now because all I want to do is kiss you and run my fingers through your hair. I can’t do that out in the open where she can walk out any second.” You explained and he understood completely. You were right, it was risky. All he wanted to do was lift you into his lap and kiss you all over.

“You’re right. Okay, come to my office in like an hour. Go rest and clear that pretty head of yours.”

“Sounds good to me.”

About an hour or so later you knocked on the door and the knock was so gentle he could have sworn and it was jack. “Come in.”

“Hey,” you stood in the room and closed the door behind you. hour body language was awkward and uncomfortable, not your usual confidant stance. “I uh.. Can I sit?”

“Please, yes, of course.” Aaron motioned towards the chairs in front of his desk. He closed the file he was working on and slipped some papers into the manila folder that had the bureau logo on it.

“Our letters seem so confident and bold and now i can’t even figure out if it’s appropriate to ask you how you are.” Aaron laughed because he felt the same way you did. It was new territory for the both of you. All of this was so new and so wrong.

Aaron didn’t waste a single second before asking the one thing they were both thinking. “Y/N... I- what is this? Obviously there's feelings here. And I mean real feelings.”

You shook your head and looked around the office. “I have no idea, Aaron. I’ve never even felt you. I haven't hugged you, shaken your hand, even brushed my fingers over yours. We’ve never even kissed. How could you ask me what this is when we’ve never even touched. I feel so helpless, she is always around.” You had a frustrated tone in your voice. You wasn’t angry or upset, just confused. You thought Aaron thought you were insane.

“Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here, Y/N.”

you got up, confused, and walked around to Aaron. He turned in his office chair to face you. You were just standing in front of him awkwardly. Taking him all in. You smiled at his casual wear. You wore something similar. To her babysitting duties they have no dress code for you, but to just dress appropriate. You dressed pretty nice for Aaron to notice, but this morning you got your period and threw on leggings, a white tank top that was tight to your skin that was slightly cropped. He took your hands in his and smiled. You could have melted to the ground right then and there. “That's how my hands feel,” he whispered to her.

He let go of your hands and started to feel your body. Starting with your arms, his fingers lightly traveled the soft skin, giving you goosebumps all over. His hands swiftly moved to your torso. He ran them over your back and then to the front again. He felt the skin exposed from your short shirt, and even went riskier and moved his hands under the thin fabric. He didn’t do it in a way that he was going to feel your breasts, he was craving to feel you just as much as you were craving to feel him. He took you by the hips and brought you to sit in his lap.

“And this is what my lips feel like,” he whispered to you as he brought his hands to your cheeks and cupped them. When your lips touched, you could have sworn you felt real sparks. It was the best kiss either of you have ever had in your lives. His lips were rough but tender. Yours were plump and soft against his. Your hand came up and held his wrist, your other hand held your balance on his shoulder. Soon, it started getting heated. He swiped his tongue at your bottom lip for entrance. It was pure bliss for you both to be doing this. his lips found your neck and left wet sloppy kisses down it and onto your collarbones. You were also grinding on each other a bit which earned whimpers and groans from both of you.

“Wait, wait, let’s stop here for now. I can’t-” You fixed your posture while still sitting in his lap. You were catching your when you put her hands on Aaron’s chest and like instinct, he held them.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have been so forward like that. Did this make you uncomfortable?” You loved seeing the caring side of Aaron. He was so gentle.

“No, Aaron. That was amazing. I can’t go any further because I have my period and your wife is upstairs. I can’t have sex with you if she could pop in any minute.”

“So, you do want to have sex eventually?” he smirked and leaned his head on the back of the chair while he held your hands on his chest.

“Well… yes.” You blushed.

“Good.”

You teasingly rolled your eyes, “Shut up! Kiss me again, please.” Their lips met again but this time a lot more softer. One of Aaron’s hands held your thigh and rubbed gentle circles into it with his thumb while his other hand played with your hair. You had your arms wrapped around his neck while your hands played with his hair. Your lips danced together so perfectly. It was as if their only purpose in life was to kiss one another. And in these small romantic moments, all of the stress and anxiety from Haley washed away. It wasn’t even a thought in mind while you held each other close and made out.

“You are a very good kisser, Aaron Hotchner.” you said while breaking the kiss again. you sunk down on him a bit and took his arms to wrap around your waist. You leaned your head on his shoulder and squeezed him tight. He held you tighter in his arms and rubbed your back so softly you almost didn’t feel it. He leaned his head against yours and breathed in your scent. You smelled like vanilla and lavender. “I don’t want to let go.”

“You don’t have to sweet girl,” He whispered to you and left a kiss on the top of your head. “But I can make this a lot more comfortable,” He said as you felt his hands at the bottom of your thighs pick you up and walk over to the small couch he had against the office wall. He laid down with you still in his arms. Finally, you stretched your legs out and fixed your position to be more comfortable. Your head was leant against his chest where you could hear his rapid heartbeat. “This better?”

“A lot better,” He let his hand play with your hair as you held onto his free one. you didn’t want to let go of him but eventually you knew you were going to have to. It felt unfair, but truly it was unfair to Haley. This was happening right under her bedroom and she had no idea. “We have to talk about this.”

“I know.” Aaron sighed and looked down at the girl he held. It felt so nice to be falling for someone again. It had been years and years since his heart raced like this. Since genuine excitement and nervousness arose inside of him because of another person. It had been so long since since he’d actually kissed someone with passion and even longer since he held a person who wasn’t his son close to him like this. He missed having small intimate moments with another person.

Truth be told, him and Haley weren’t as perfect as they made it seem. They had Jack because they both wanted kids but Aaron had fallen out of love with her long before Jack came along four years ago. They, in his opinion, lost their spark. He loved her as a friend, not a forever partner. He once did though. He had no idea where it went and he tried to get it back, but nothing saved his marriage for him. He didn’t have the heart to tell Haley because he knew she still felt the spark-- the love he lost. He knew this didn’t make it any better. Cheating made the heartbreak she’ll feel worse, but when he first saw you, he felt that spark again. He couldn’t waste a minute on it either. You noticed he was in a bit of a daze, so you began laying small kisses on his neck. He giggled softly.

“What are we doing?” You asked. you had a serious tone. “Aaron, you’re married. This is wrong--so wrong. You make me feel different and it scares me. LIke, I don’t even know your exact age by the way. There is so much to talk about here.”

“I’m forty-one. Forty-two in November. And I really want to take you on a few dates and hopefully become your… unfortunately married boyfriend.” Aaron laughed and you rolled your eyes at him.

you sat up but stayed on his lap, your hands cupped his cheeks. He looked so good it was hard to be annoyed with him. “It’s not funny, Aaron.”

“I’m serious. Soon enough I’ll be asking for a divorce. I just need to get certain things squared away and figured out, okay? I want to do this with you, Y/N.” He meant that and you could tell. You hated all of this so much. It wasn’t like you to do something so stupid.

You nodded your head to what he was saying. “Fine. That doesn’t mean I like doing this. Haley is kind and she deserves a lot better.”

“I agree.”

“You really want to try dating? We barely know each other. We call and write notes and sometimes text, I know. But what do we really know?” You questioned.

“Isn’t that the whole point of dating, to get to know each other? And then when you finally are comfortable enough to admit you know each other that's when you establish you’re boyfriend and girlfriend and in a relationship?” He did make fair points.

“That’s true. Okay, we’re dating? Or going to start to? When do either of us even have time for dates?” You stressed. To calm you down Aaron took your hands, kissed both and held them in his own. “Aaron.”

“Friday you’re not working. Haley has the day off. I’ll take you to lunch, okay? Lunch date good for you?” You nodded and kissed him.

“We’re so wrong for this.” you sighed.

“It’ll be okay, sweet girl, I promise. Now let me read that letter you shoved into your pants when I walked into the house earlier.” Damnit, he saw that? You reached into the waistband of your leggings and pulled out the folded sheet of paper. You sat up on top of him again and covered your face with your hands as he read over the words.

DEAR AARON

Lately, you’re all I think about before I sleep. Your smile, your eyes that are so easy to drown in, your voice. The way you look at Jack when he runs into your arms after a long day. You infiltrated my head, Mr. Hotchner. And I’m so very okay with it. I hope to get you up close and personal soon and to talk all of this over like you’ve been promising. You’ve got me helpless here.

Y/N

“You’re very cute, angel. Seems to me you got what you hoped for too.” Aaron smiled at the letter before putting it on the table next to the couch. “You’re all I think about too. I know I say it often but you are so special.” He took you in for a hug and you basically melted into each other.

“You are too, Aaron.”

Some time went by of you just talking about random things and taking breaks to make out and feel each other. When it got later, you began to fall asleep in Aaron’s arms and it killed him to disrupt your relaxation.

“Hey, let me take you to bed, okay?” you whimpered what sounded like no, no. Which made Aaron kiss your head. He moved around a bit and pick you up bridal style. “I know, sweet girl. I don’t want to let you go either. You need sleep.” He spoke as he walked quietly to your room. He gently laid you down into the guest bed. He undid the made bed and let you cuddle into it. You looked so beautiful when relaxed. Aaron bent down and gave you one last kiss before going to his own bed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Aaron.”

That morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee being brewed. You almost forgot where you were for a moment. Looking out the window next to you, you saw how the storm had finally cleared. Breathing in, you got out of the much too comfortable bed and made your way to the kitchen. Aaron and Haley were standing there drinking coffee. You looked at the clock on your phone and it was only 7:05am. Aaron was reading a file and Haley was doing something on her phone.

“Good morning,” You broke the silence and the couple looked up from what they were doing. Aaron and her were both dressed for their jobs already and damn did he look good. “Thank you for letting me sleep here last night.”

“That’s no problem, sweetheart. Anytime. Coffee?” Haley said with that same gorgeous smile plastered on her face. You just wanted to rip it off. Not because you had something against Haley, no. You liked her. You were just not a morning person.

“I’m okay, thank you. I’m more of an iced coffee with lots of hazelnut creamer and sugar type of person,” Haley giggled. “Is it okay if i just run back to my apartment and freshen up? I live like a 15 minute drive away, I’ll be quick and be back in time before you guys leave.” you asked nicely. you really wanted to shower and change your clothes and brush your teeth and hair. You could only imagine how insane you must look right now. You weren’t the calmest sleeper.

Aaron looked at you and smiled. Looking into his eyes felt different since last night. It felt better than before actually. you almost wanted to run into his arms and give him a big ol’ kiss and tell him to have a great day at work. You couldn’t do that for obvious reasons.

Haley sawolled her coffee and began speaking, “Actually, we decided we’d relieve you for the day. Since you’ve spent every day here for the last month and because you had to sleep here. My sister is on her way. I hope that’s okay! We thought you deserved a break.” Haley explained nervously. You smiled at her kindly.

“That’s very kind of you guys, thank you. I appreciate it a lot. Tell Jack I'll be back to bug him tomorrow! And again, Thank you for everything.” Both Haley and Aaron said you’re welcome and all three said goodbye. You were just about to open the door when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Your pay, sweet girl,” He whispered that last part. “Have a nice day.” “You too.”

you got into the car and opened the envelope of money for your note immediately:

DEAR AMARA,

I’m writing to you from this morning. I scraped my last letter because now I have better things to say. I miss your lips already. And that soft skin. Holding you made me feel the same happiness I feel whenever I hear Jack’s laugh or see him smile. I can’t wait to kiss those pretty lips again, sweet girl. I promise this will all work out and we will be happy, okay? Now, whenever you read this, please text me your favorite type of food so I can figure something out for friday.

AARON

you kissed the paper and drove home with a smile on your face with the memories of last night playing over and over in your head.

#please reblog!#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x female reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch #ssa aaron hotchner #haley hotchner #y/n fanfic #y/n #illicit affairs hotchncrs #illicit affairs #fanfic #fan fiction #cm #criminalminds #jack hotchner

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drethanramslay · 4 years

Note

95 & 98 for Ethan/MC pls 🥺

Thanks for the prompt Anon

You can find the prompt list here.

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list 😊)

Warning: Long(I tried to put the keep reading tag but my damn wifi won't let me 😭), Angst and slight swearing

sorry if there are any mistakes :)

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Since that bitch of a governor had trolled them and everything had gone down south, the board decided to host a charity event.

According to Leah, a charity event back home would have been a banquet hall with a Dropbox and a couple of very persistent people who would pester you till you would go nuts.

But here, it was... different.

There was aerobatics going on in one end of the room where the stage was. The number of turns they were making on the hula hoops made Leah dizzy. People wearing designer suits and gowns were standing and chatting. The place was decorated in a very classy way, with red carpets and all. Expensive hors d'oeuvres like caviar and champagne which costed a year of her salary was being distributed.

What in the actual fuck was going on? Leah thought as she stepped into the ballroom looking around before she laid her eyes on Ethan.

Broad shoulders, strong biceps and his beard could make any woman weak.

He was wearing a navy blue tux, with a crisp white shirt. He had opened the top two buttons of the shirt and she could get a peak of his strong chest and the stray chest hair. He had gelled his hair which made him look sharper. When his gaze landed on her, the ocean blue eyes darkened as he took in what she was wearing. The primal lust he had in his eyes made her want to get down on her knees and submit to him.

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Red.

It's the colour of sin. The colour of temptation.

It was the colour of the forbidden fruit which Eve had plucked and eaten, while the devil whispered in her ears, caressing her inner desires.

Red. She was wearing red.

Ethan was standing in the corner drinking expensive scotch when he saw her enter. He almost lost it. Leah was beautiful and sexy but that night, she looked like a temptress. Testing Ethan and his self control.

Self control can go out of the window. How am I supposed to survive this evening with her looking like that?! How was he supposed to make an incoherent thought around her when she dressed up like that?!

There were very few instances when he thought Leah looked good with clothes on rather than off. He loved Leah's naked body, which he had only seen twice but in this case, he could stare at her in that gown, forever.

She had donned a blood red gown. It had extensive embroidery in it, making it look classy. The bodice was like a second skin and emphasizing her curves. It started from the neck. A shear net covered her décolletage. It was an off shoulder, with the sleeves extending down her hands, as if they were her wings.

But that was not the problem which made Ethan a walking hard on, it was the slits that ran down from a little below her waist and extended to the ground, putting those glorious, long, caramel legs on display. He wanted nothing more to throw those legs over his shoulder and eat her out.

It was going to be a miserable evening.

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As the waltz music played, Ethan summoned the courage to ask her to dance with him.

Leah was talking to a couple of investors, squeezing them for their last penny with her intellect. He was proud of his sunshine. She really was intelligent and had great people skills.

And so beautiful..

"Dr. Garcia... May I have this dance?" Ethan asked in a husky voice. Leah excused herself before turning towards Ethan with a huge smile on her face. "You may, Dr. Ramsey."

He takes her hand and leads her to the dancefloor where the couples are swaying. Ethan placed one hand on her waist and clasped her hand with the other. Leah placed her hand on his shoulders and they swayed.

Leah's forehead was at the level of Ethan's lips and she felt a ghost kiss on her crown. "You look like a goddess sunshine. So divine and gorgeous."

Leah blushed, giving him a beaming smile. "You look utterly ravishing E. So hot."

Ethan chuckled. "Your compliments always amuse me."

Their eyes met. Cool blue with warm brown, complementing each other. As they stared into each other's eyes, glancing into each other's souls, the people and the chatter faded away.

It was just Leah and Ethan.

"Sunshine, can you please stop biting your lip…it’s distracting.” Ethan said, as his eyes were on her lips. Her teeth were chewing on the luscious red lips, making them so inviting. He wanted to bite that lip.

Leah snapped out of her daydream. "Huh? How?"

"Well... It makes me want to do unspeakable things to you... Which comprises of you, me and a empty room."

Leah's body responded wildly you his words. "So what's stopping you?"

"You know why Leah." Ethan let out a sigh, staring at her lips one last time.

Leah winced and snapped out of the warm gushing feeling. All she felt was cold fury slowly settling into her veins. She was getting exhausted.

Exhausted of this game.

Exhausted of constantly being turned down.

Masking her face to an impassive expression. Her eyes hardened, putting the walls right back, to protect herself. "Ah, yes Dr. Ramsey. I see."

Ethan was confused by the sudden coolness in her tone. He searched her eyes, trying to find something but it just felt like watching a brick wall.

"Leah I-"

The music came to an end and applause resounded through the room. Naveen, wearing a kurta with a Nehru jacket walked on the stage. "Good evening and thank you for coming to this charity event. Thank you for the generous donations."

Leah stepped out of his embrace and turned on her heel and walked. Ethan was going to follow her but Naveen called him on the stage to speak a few words.

Every instinct in him was screaming to follow the woman who had his heart but he turned the other way. As he stood on the stage, he saw a blur of red leaving.

And at that moment, he felt such emptiness in his heart, it pained him.

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Leah sat on the bench, at the edge of the parking lot, away from everyone.

She needed some damn peace and quiet where she could calm down the whirlpool of emotions rushing through her veins. She took out a cigarette and lighter she had stolen from Jackie.

Leah usually didn't smoke. But at moments of stress and intense emotions, she would light a blunt or two and try to relax. To forget.

She took a deep drag, tilted her head up and let out a long puff, feeling the nicotine burning and soothing her at the same time. The familiar feeling of smoke in her lungs calmed her down.

She sat back and saw the rings of smoke floating towards the starry sky.

"Sunshine." Ethan called out.

Goddammit can't even catch a fucking break.

"What is it Ramsey?'

"Are you okay?" He asked pleadingly.

Leah laughed and Ethan looked bewildered. She stood up, with her cigarette in her hand. "Okay? Ethan I am anything but okay! I am pissed, hurt and so angry that I feel like punching your handsome face."

"I'm sorry if I hurt yo-"

"Damn you Ethan. You have that one talent of hurting me without intending to do it. The way you talk, the way you smile, the way your pupils dilate when they see me and the way your stupid arms feel around me is like a tear in my heart. It hurts so bad but I will always come back."

"I-"

"No! You will shut your trap and listen. Ethan Ramsey, you are a blind, dumb, romantic knucklehead, who has such a beautiful way with words. The way you say 'sunshine' with your dumb voice makes me swoon sooo hard. Around you I feel at a loss of words. My thoughts scramble and I lose my grip. "

"What's wrong with that?"

"See! This is what's wrong. You are so fucking blind that you can't see me totally head over heels in love with you."

"Love? BUT- but how can you love me?! It's insane."

"Yes I'm a fucking maniac and a colossal dumbfuck to fall in love with you!! And God, I know you fucking hate the entire institute of marriage and love but did that stop me? NO! You made me fall for you and I hate you for that." Leah was panting. She threw her cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

"Ight peace out, dude." She was about to walk away but Ethan grabbed her hand.

"Sunshine, sit down."

"No I'm not-"

"Sit your ass, the fuck down." Ethan's voice trembled.

She wasn't going to win this war. So she obliged.

He sat down, and collected his thoughts. "I'm a hard ass. I have mommy issues. I lash out. I drink when I am stressed. And I can get pissed if things are not perfect... The list goes on and on... And you still love me?" Leah nodded her head and Ethan chuckled. "Goddammit sunshine. You know, I don't believe in this love institute. But... I believe in you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She rolled her eyes and hugged herself.

"It means that I fucking lose my mind seeing men or women flirt with you. It means that when you enter the room I can't take my eyes off you. It means that I want to spend every waking moment beside you. If that's what love is....then I guess I am in love with you Leah Marianne Garcia."

Leah snapped her head towards him. "What?" She whispered out.

"I'm in love with you."

She cupped his cheeks and brought her forehead to his. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Tears streamed down her face. "I love you Ethan Jonah Ramsey. I love you so damn much."

Ethan pressed his lips to hers, tasting the tears of happiness falling down her face. It was such a tender and vulnerable moment. He never thought that he would be sitting on a bench, in a parking lot, confessing his feelings for a woman.

But Leah changed him, healed him, loved him.

He hugged her waist and kissed her harder, trying to pour all his love and affection for this beautiful woman in his arms.

"I need you..." Leah gasped.

Intertwining his fingers in hers, he pulled her towards his car, which was nearby.

He pushed her against the door and bent down to kiss her collarbone and the sweet spot under her ear. Leah let out a breathless moan and Ethan knew that they wouldn't be able to make it till his penthouse.

Opening the door of the backseat, Ethan climbed in first and grabbed Leah and placed her on his lap. Hands wandered touching and feeling. Gasps and moans filled up the small space and I love you's were exchanged.

Ethan tried to reach for the zipper of her dress, impatient to get her naked, but that just ended up in his hand getting tangled in the dress.

"Damn sunshine! Is this a dress or a trap?"

Leah laughed and tried to helped him not before banging her head on the roof of the car. "Ow." She rubbed her head and both of them burst out in peals of laughter.

Ethan kissed her lips they tried to accomodate but it was to no avail. Leah giggled and said, "Backseats aren’t as comfortable as movies make them out to be."

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

#my asks #anushka writes #playchoices #choices stories we play #choices stories you play #choices oh #choices #open heart mc #open heart 2 #open heart #oh ethan #dr ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ohsy #long post #writing prompts

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earlgreyteaforhere · 4 years

Note

book recommendations?

Hello Anon! This is very vague, but I will take this as an opportunity to recommend some wonderful books across all sorts of different genres. Put on your seat belt, wear a mask, log into your goodreads app, and prepare to be bombarded with an even longer never ending TBR list.

||Nonfiction||

Notes of A Native Son by James Baldwin: If you haven’t read anything by Baldwin yet, this is a great place to start. This book is a collection of ten nonfiction essays primarily focusing on issues of race in America and Europe. Baldwin’s writing style is unlike any other, and in my opinion, is the equivalent of jazz on the page if such a thing does exist. His words will get you lost and challenge your understanding of the world as you know it, only to bring you to the profound realization that you did not in fact know the world very well at all.

The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison: I wouldn’t necessarily call this a medical memoir, rather this book is a collection of essays focusing on empathy via stories relating in some way to medical topics. Jamison’s writing style is highly engaging and she forces the reader to ask themselves some very difficult questions about themself and their role in the world. Empathy is a complex thing, and if you’re interested in understanding the nuances of the subject, and perhaps learning more about yourself, I would very much recommend this book.

||Historical Fiction||

Small Island by Andrea Levy: Set in and around WWII, the story follows the main characters Hortense, Gilbert, Queenie, and Bernard in a rather nonlinear recounting of events taking place in Jamaica, England, America, and India. The novel explores the complicated issues of Great Britain’s colonization of Jamaica, and the rough transition for Jamaican’s living in England to help support the wartime effort. I listened to the audiobook for this one and the voice actors did a fantastic job of giving each character a distinct and easily identifiable voice and personality. I think there is also a BBC adaptation of the book.

The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto by Mitch Albom: Not sure if this technically qualifies as historical fiction, but I’m putting it here because it does a great job of tracing a lot of the evolution of modern popular music. I will never stop recommending this book. The novel is narrated by the entity of music and follows the life of Frankie Presto in a sort of Forrest Gump like fashion. I won’t say much about the plot, but I will tell you this book will make you laugh, cry, and everything in between. Please read this book.

||Fiction||

Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis: This book is told from the pov of Clay, a wealthy kid from California who goes to college in the Northeast. The novel follows his time at home during winter break and highlights the more unsightly aspects of the rich elite on the West Coast. This book made me feel sort of dead inside and pessimistic about the world, so I’m not sure it would be the best book to read right now given current events. But if your mental health is stable and in a good place, this is a quick read and an all around good book.

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan: While the movie received some harsh criticisms, I really enjoyed this book. Kwan has a unique style and is able to tell the story from many different points of view without the characters getting lost or blending together. Often times I have a difficult time keeping track of names and relationships if there is a large cast of characters, but Kwan does a fantastic job. If you enjoy juicy family drama and heartwarming friendships, I recommend giving this a read. It’s also set in Singapore which was a first for me to read about and definitely convinced me to add a trip to Singapore on my bucketlist.

||YA Fiction||

We All Looked Up by Tommy Wallach: I read this book in two days when I was fifteen and it immediately found a permanent place in my heart. This book is about the potential end of the world from the perspectives of high school students in a style reminiscent of The Breakfast Club. I remember reading this and thinking “wow, this dude just really gets it” because Wallach perfectly captures my teenage angsty self. This is also a fitting read since it seems like the world is ending these days. I also recommend Thanks For the Trouble by Tommy Wallach because it’s an incredibly unique, intriguing, and just plain weird story. Wallach enjoys ambiguity in his stories, so if you’re into that kind of negative capability, then his books might just be a good match for you.

The Illuminae Files by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff: This is technically YA sci-fi, but this is my list and I’m putting it here anyway. I’m personally not much of a sci-fi reader, so I don’t remember why I thought to pick up this series, but I am so glad I did. Illuminae has pretty much every sci-fi trope you can think of all wrapped into one marvelous multi-media kick-ass space story. The books themselves look thicc, but don’t let that turn you away. Despite the books having many pages, the story is told through emails, security camera footage logs, journal pages, text messages, and many pictures which makes for a speedy read. I recommend the Illuminae Files for those who don’t read sci-fi, but are willing to give it a try.

Emergency Contact by Mary H. K. Choi: I read this book at pretty much the perfect time in my life and I think that’s probably why I enjoyed it so much. The book is about Penny and her journey as she begins college at UT Austin and the anxieties/challenges that come along with that. Friendships, mother/daughter relationships, romance, drama, and a whole lot of social awkwardness. I’d recommend this to college students and or those about to go to college because I think most will find this book quite relatable in at least some way. The book reassures us that we are not alone in our awkward transition stages of life.

All For the Game by Nora Sakavic: This series is about a fictional sport called exy. Yes, that’s right, I’m recommending you books about a sport. Exy is sort of like lacrosse, but like better, more aggressive, and more drama. The series is about the main character, Neil Josten, who is on the run from his mob boss dad. Neil finds solace in exy and is actually not that bad at it. He goes to college, joins the Palmetto State Foxes exy team, and it’s all uphill (downhill?) from there. This series has unforgettable characters, lots of drugs and violence (don’t read if that triggers you), lots of gay, and lots of exy. For a book series about a sport, All for the game is amazing and I recommend it to everyone looking for a binge read. Note: I’ve heard physical copies are hard to find, but the ebook version is available through the kindle app and probably other places too.

||YA Fantasy||

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas: oooooookay here we go. This series makes me weep just thinking about it, that’s how much I love it. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that just hit me. so. hard. So many emotions. The series follows Celaena Sardothein, an assassin, and essentially her journey to becoming herself. Vague, I know, but I seriously cannot give anything away. SJM’s worldbuilding is next level and her characters are probably my favorite aspect of any and all of her books. I’ll also recommend her A Court of Thorns and Roses series here for the same reasons even though it’s been rebranded as “new adult fantasy.” Celaena is probably my favorite main character of all time, and I cannot fully express how much her story means to me. Throne of Glass is easy to follow and great for getting into the fantasy genre if it’s something you’ve never read before. Please give these books a try, I am begging you.

The Remnant Chronicles by Mary E. Pearson: The first book of this trilogy easily has one of the most shocking plot twists I have ever read. If that doesn’t pique your interest, I don’t know what will. Sorry. The Remnant Chronicles is a sort of milder fantasy than Throne of Glass, but fantasy nonetheless and super underrated. I’d recommend this series to people who enjoy stories about the politics of fantasy worlds, romance, and friendship. I let my little sister read my copies and she got through them in less than a week (I think) and could not stop raving about them.

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Steifvater: I think magical realism is a better genre for these books, but I’m putting them here under YA fantasy anyway. Fight me. Above anything else, you will fall in love with these characters. Set in Virginia, the Raven Cycle is honestly strange (in a good way) and tells the story of a group of friends’ quest to find some sleeping Welsh king. While the series is mostly about finding that damn king, there is a healthy amount of romance, swearing, clairvoyance, yogurt, latin, and all around good times. Steifvater’s writing style is unique, and with that it is admittedly a bit difficult to get into at first. But please stick with it! I promise it’s worth it! One of my favorite series ever, highly recommend.

||Short Stories||

Here is a list of short stories I enjoy. Not gonna do a whole synopsis for each, but take my word for it and pls read them.

-Tall Tales from the Mekong Delta by Kate Braverman

-Two Kinds by Amy Tan

-The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

-Jealous Husband Returns in Form of Parrot by Robert Olen Butler

-The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin

-Girl by Jamaica Kincaid

-The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe

-The Secret Goldfish by David Means

-The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

-A Temporary Matter by Jhumpa Lahiri

-The Cavemen in the Hedges by Stacey Richter

-The Bad Graft by Karen Russell

-Eveline by James Joyce

I hope these recommendations are helpful in contributing to your summer reading and on-going TBR list. This is probably not what you were expecting when you simply asked “book recommendations?” but here you go. Happy reading, whoever you are.

#Book Recommendations #nonfiction #fiction #ya #ya fiction #ya fantasy #fantasy #scifi #short story #historical fiction #books #tbr #summer reading #books recs #anon #trc #tog #acotar #aftg

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ddagent · 4 years

Note

librarian jaime and student brienne pls!

Congratulations, Anon! This is my first fic of 2020; I’m so excited!! Sidenote, when working out library fees I realised there’s a lot more to Westerosi currency than I thought. Enjoy!

The Casterly Library looked as old as the surrounding buildings in Winterfell University. Stone brickwork; high windows; an ornate arch with direwolves carved into the stone above the entrance. A far cry from the modern library with entire walls of glass that his father had tried to pay for as a way to integrate himself into his eldest son’s university life. Thankfully, the students had protested such a modern building on campus. But a little protest didn’t stop Tywin Lannister. His funds for improvements had earned a new name for the library and a plaque by the door.

Of course, his money had had the opposite effect. The library was so nice that Jaime had never wanted to leave.

Entering the building, Jaime swiped his ID card at the barriers and swept through. He nodded at Pia, one of the assistant librarians manning the front desk, before he headed up to the staff room. The library was still; barely a handful of students inside, and most of them would be heading home soon for a well-deserved rest. The majority of Winterfell University’s student population had yet to return from the Sevenmas break. Jaime always enjoyed their return, though. It’s when he got to collect late fees.

Coat and bag stowed, Jaime pulled on the burgundy cardigan Tyrion had bought him for the fourth day of Sevenmas and headed down to the front desk with a takeaway hot chocolate in hand. “Quiet evening?” he asked Pia.

“Found one of Bolton’s third years crying in the loos but, yeah, all quiet.” Pia tucked her phone into her pocket and headed out from behind the desk. “You know, I could keep you company for a while if you’d like. As it’s so quiet.”

“No need,” Jaime said, already vacating Pia’s empty seat and reaching for the paperback he’d stashed there yesterday. His bookmark was halfway through. “I’ve got the Blue Knight to keep me company.”

He missed Pia’s crestfallen expression as he flicked ahead to page 202. Jaime took a sip of hot chocolate and began to read. As a child, he’d loathed the activity; the letters seemed to reverse themselves, and he’d often think a word was correct before his sister would snigger and tell him he was mistaken. His father had forced him to read, keeping him in the study back at the original Casterly Rock until Jaime started memorising large chunks just to get Tywin off his back. It was only when he stayed with his Aunt in the Riverlands that he was finally taken to a specialist for reading strategies. The first book he ever read without struggling was with Goldenhand the Just, who liked to smack his enemies in the face with his solid gold hand.

Make your greatest weakness your greatest strength. And that’s what Jaime had done.

Of course, people still questioned his abilities. His father, his sister. Students and lecturers who saw the Lannister name and wondered if Tywin’s money had paid for his position (it hadn’t), or who saw his good looks and thought he wasn’t intelligent enough to be the senior librarian (he was). One of those people was coming through the door right now. B Tarth, one of Cat’s first years. Tall, broad, with striking blue eyes and a scowl that would send most scurrying, especially this time of the morning. It had been an innocent mistake, holding her study room reservation under a ‘Brien Tarth’. But saying he’d never cracked open a book unless it was to scan it out...well, that required a little payback.

Tarth barely acknowledged him as she scanned her ID card at the barriers. It made an unsatisfying beep and denied her entry. She tried it again. Same sound. Jaime smirked, put his book out of sight, and leaned back in his chair. He waited for Tarth to come to him. And so she did.

“There’s something wrong with my ID card.”

“Is there?” he asked, feigning poor ignorance.

There was that scowl again. “It won’t let me enter.”

“I wonder why that could be. Let me pull up your account.” Jaime took his time logging into the library system and searching for Tarth’s name, as if he didn’t already know what he would find. And there it was, three books in right red with OVERDUE right beside them. He leaned back and grinned. “Unfortunately, Ms Tarth, you have some overdue books. I’m afraid you owe Casterly Library some money.”

“I–I–I don’t have any overdue books!” Tarth opened up her satchel and produced a case history of the Long Night, one of Cat’s first-year modules. “This is the only book I have out at the moment, and it doesn’t need to be returned for another week!”

At this point, more students had begun to trickle through the entranceway. Jaime had hoped Tarth would return with all the others; he’d wanted a bigger audience for this. Ah well. "Actually, Ms Tarth, you have three books overdue. Beyond the Wall: A Guide to the Vagina.” She gasped, two pink spots appearing on her cheeks. “The Bear or Maiden Fair: A Series of Essays on Wilding Sexual Practices; well, whatever you’re into, I suppose.” Her fists clenched. “From Castamere to Casterly: A Lannister Geneology. Looking up your favourite librarian, were you?”

Tarth twisted, noticing a handful of her fellow students watching them. She then turned back to him; jaw clenched. “I never took those books out.”

He shrugged. “No judgements, Ms Tarth. I mean, I’m partial to a little historical fiction myself.” He brought his paperback into view. “Not many people know that. Probably think I’ve never opened a book unless I have to scan it out.”

And the half-penny dropped. “You’re an arse.”

“And you owe me three silver stags.”

Not a huge amount of money, at least not for a Lannister, but enough of an inconvenience for a poor student. Tarth dug around in her satchel and produced two stags and seven copper stars. “There. Can I do my work now?”

“Of course.” Jaime unlocked her account and waved her through. “Happy New Year, Ms Tarth.”

And what a year it was going to be.

#braime #jaime x brienne #mine: paragraph prompts #ship: braime #anonymous

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oyabun-draws · 4 years

Note

YO!! hi i’m the agatha anon and you hit it perfectly!! i woke up at like 4 am and then typed out that ask before falling back asleep so i could not say why i didn’t like her lol but yeah!! that’s pretty much it!! i always hated how mean she was to simon and i was like “damn he really doesn’t deserve that he doesn’t come from your family” and her povs were So Long. i just couldn’t take it! i was like i’m so tired of this surface level pretentious shit! give me angry simon! and yearning baz! and penny having some spicy takes! like the other characters have depth and there’s always something more with their povs and then like things they say always pop back up later and you’re like “oh shit that’s why they said that thing earlier” but that was always lacking with agatha. and what really cemented my dislike of her was when she was with penny and she was decorating cookies and agatha was asking why she wasn’t using pink frosting or whatever and penny was like “i wasn’t conditioned to like pink bc i’m a girl and ur conditioning is weak sauce bro” (i do not have my book pls excuse the paraphrasing and probable butchering of that scene) and agatha got so upset by it!! like girl she’s right!! also you’re 100% right abt agatha and baz being friends, does not work in my book! okay sorry this is long but thanks for your time!

^^^^ yes!!!!!! i 100% agree!!! also you’re so right, i hadn’t even thought about the lack of depth.. with the other characters there’ll be some full circle moments and you’re like “ahhhh... that makes so much sense.” but with her it’s like. she’s annoying and mean because. that’s her personality i guess. and yeah she totally is pretentious omg, she acts like she’s just too special to like magic, and the world of mages, and every one else is somehow less.. idk.. intelligent? (at least that’s the vibe that comes across to me.) and yeah the scene you’re talking about is where they’re frosting gingerbread people and agatha decorates all the “girl” gingerbread cookies with pink and penny says “Oh, Agatha, honestly, do the gingerbread girls have to be wearing pink?”

i had forgotten about that scene and then i find it in my ebook copy of carry on and wowwww omg yeah agatha sucks. and guess what agatha thinks a couple sentences later?? “Not for the first time today, I think that I’m wasting a day with my real friends, my Normal friends, just to make nice with Penelope.”

agatha WHAT???? that’s so mean??? how can you think something like that about someone you’ve been friends with for the past several years??

i should find this post that i read a few years ago about how baz would strongly dislike agatha bc that post really puts it into words. i can’t imagine him liking someone who is essentially simon’s mean ex. if i can’t find the post, i’ll just make it lol

thank you so much for sending me these asks i feel like i can finally rant about all my agatha related feelings. and you brought up a couple points i hadn’t thought about either

have a good day/night!!! <3 <3 <3

#asks #my thoughts #agatha #Anonymous

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moonraccoon-exe · 5 years

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Hopefully tumblr doesnt eat this p.1 again! Its been so long since Ive dropped by and said hello to one of my favorite people so hello Coon! I feel like Ive been so busy I dont have time to drop bye and say hello these days How are you? Are you doing well? I hope you are bc you deserve so much happiness. I also wanted to do a status update on the fact that Im now writing again! I took a longer break than I thought I would but hey Im now more motivated than ever so I guess it all worked out ^^

I AM

A HORRIBLE, ULTIMATELY TERRIBLE RACCOON.

JAZ.

IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU LAST DROPPED THIS IN MY INBOX AND I’M JUST REPLYING NOW.

AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? IT’S NOT EVEN THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TIME.

I JUST. I PUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS SO THAT THE SECOND ASK, THE BIT IN THE IMAGE, WOULD BE SAFE EVEN IF DELETED FROM THE COMPUTER (LIKE IT HAPPENED TO MY OTHER ASKS)

AND SINCE THEN I DIDN’T BOTHER GOING TO MY DRAFTS.

AND I FORGOT THIS WAS HERE.

JAZ.

JAZ OMG

JAZ PLEASE HIT ME WITH A NEWSPAPER I’M A HORRIBLE CREATURE HOW IN THE W O R L D COULD I FORGET TO REPLY TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*PUNCHES THROUGH THE WALL*

*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK*

*EXPLODES*

ALKSJDALKFJGADLKGJAGLKAGJAD

Okay you let me add a keep reading right here aaah ;A;

Oh my god, Jaz….Jaz I’m so sorry, I don’t even know where to start apologizing, I’m so sorry. I honestly forgot and that’s the worst part. If I had been busy for real I would have had an excuse at least, but the truth was just that; I put this in my drafts and then forgot it was there. I rarely check my drafts because that’s where I put stuff that I want to reblog at some point but don’t know when because it’s not FFXV related so I just wait until I’m done with the XV reblogs but I never am, and I just assumed everything in drafts was stuff to reblog, I totally forgot there was an ask here that I hadn’t replied to and that it was yours, I’m so sorry, so, so, so sorry, Jaz… :(

I don’t offer an excuse and if you’re upset you have all the rights to be, I understand. Jesus, it’s been a while since Ir eplied this and I mean, there are asks in my inbox that are like a year old but those are prompts or requests and it’s fine, but yours was a personal and it’s been so long for me to answer to it aklsdjalkgjadklgja omg Jaz I’m so sorry….

I’m sorry, Jaz, very sincerely. Zomg…I’m sorry OTL

Well. Still answering ahah ;w;

HEWWO JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akjdlsafdgalkfjaklhj hhhnnnngnggg. HEWWO JAZ!!! ;w; I’m sorry OTL

Don’t worry about being busy. Real life is already super busy as it is and then we get here and it can get sort of ‘busy’ in its own non-serious way too! I hope that whatever’s been keeping you /kept you busy has given you a break from time to time and that it’s something you enjoy.

I’m doing well! A little ‘busy’ in the non-serious way trying to nail down all my PMs and asks (I’ve lately had a quite excited anon flooding me ahahahah! It’s lovely but keeps me super busy because each I answer gets drowned by another incoming 5 ;w;) and the reblogs and the fics. I’m having funa nd take my breaks to make it enjoyable and not turn it into something I dislike, but hence it goes slower. And out of Tumblr I’m doing okay too!

How have you been, dear Jaz? Besides WAITING FOR MY ASK OTLHave yuo been alright? And happy? I wonder what else you’ve been up to since you last wrote to me!! Hoping sincerely that it’s been okay with you too because you too deserve SO MUCH HAPPINES LIKE LOADS OF IT!!!!!!! You’re such a nice and good person that does no harm to others, you deserve all em happy things and events. U HAVE ALL IT GOOD KARMA, MY FRIEND!!!

GASPS

YOU’VE BEEN WRITING AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAZ, THAT’S PHENOMENAL! THAT’S ABOSLUTELY WONDERFUL, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU AND ABOUT IT, I’M SO HAPPY AND SO PROUD TO KNOW THAT YOU’VE TAKEN UP ON SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE WRITING, AND MORE THAN TAKING UP, RETAKING BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU USED TO ENJOY IT, LEFT IT FOR SOME REASON, AND YOU RETOOK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*

*EXPLODES*

Jaz, that’s WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! Omg buddy that’s fantastic, you have no idea how happy it makes me when someone says they’ve taken up/retaking a form of art. It’s so beautiful and so exciting, and you’re a friend so that adds a lot to the hype!! Jaz, that’s AMAZING! CONGRATS, BUDDY, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! ( ˙꒳˙ )

It’s okay that you took a longer break than you had first expected. Be it because you were busy or just lacking the motivation, it’s okay! What matters is that you went back to it and you must have felt so refreshed and welcomed back. The warmest welcoming is the one given after a long wait (but thankfully it wasn’t THAT long either!!). Plus, you took all the time that you needed to get back to it so it means you’re not forcing a single bit of it and that’s PHENOMENAL!!

I’m so happy to know that you’re motivated now, Jaz, all of this is honestly SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY :’3 AKLSJDLAKDGJADLKGJAGLKAJGA AAAAAAAHHHHHH, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

I guess the first time you sent the first part you were telling me what you were writing, so I don’t know for sure what you meant with hoping that one day I can read ‘it’, but I’d love to! I’m very slow at reading things because of the massive updates I do to my fics, but I think that I’d love to. Is it XV related? Original content? I’d get lost if it’s from something that I don’t know, but I can still try if you want me to

Aaah, thank you for asking about the laptop! Lamentably I’m nowhere close to getting a new one. They’re pretty expensive. I’m fine with one of the cheapest because all I want is basic internet access and MS Word lmao, but they’re still quite a price number and I have no job >

I thought about using the money that I’ve saved up from my kofis, but…to be honest, I’m being consciously selfish there, because I don’t want to waste my kofi money in ¼ of the price of the laptop… ;n; I want the kofi money to be mine for games or books, it’s money I’ve earned from doing what I love and I wanted it to go to selfish things, but I’m still debating with myself as to maybe having to put it for the laptop ahaha ;w;

Again, don’t feel bad for being busy!! Real life stuff is more important, and Tumblr isn’t going anywhere (not without a long time warning that we’ve never had, thankfully!), so don’t you stress. I for sure am going nowhere, so you take the time that you need and want :3

And don’t say you’re ‘not keeping me for longer’, because it’s not like you’re taking my time by force, dear Jaz!! You texting to me is a kind gift to me so you’re not taking any time off me, you’re taking YOUR time!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’VE MISSED YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*sQUEEZES U*

Sweet precious wonderful dear Jaz, thank you soooooooooooooooo LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR DROPPING BY TO SAY HELLO AND SHARE ALL OF THIS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I don’t even know where to start, I’m sorry for taking so long, and thank you immensely for dropping by, my friend!! ;A;

Thank you for the time you dedicated to writing to me and the one to read me. It sounds like you’ve been very busy and I really appreciate that you’ve taken some time to write to me, you have no idea :’(

Thank you for updating me on what you’ve been up to, and thank you for sharing with me that you’ve retaken your writing!! Those news made me so happy, and re reading still makes me feel shivers out of the joy askldjfdaklgjaklgjadglkj

Thank you for being as kind and as gentle as you always are with me. You’re so precious and I hope you know that. You’re always so nice and patient and so good with me, I don’t know how to express it enough or how to let you know or how to thank you properly :’3 Thank you so much for being the sweet and warm creature that you are, Jaz. You’re truly phenomenal and I’m very happy that you exist. The world can very easily wear me out, and it’s creatures like you that relieve it off my shoulders. Thank you

I’ve missed you SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I re fave both your artworks I think about you and I was wondering what you were doing and if you were okay. And there I was, forgetting that it was me who never replied... :’D Really, seriously, I’m so sorry, Jaz, I didn’t mean to take this long... OTL

I hope that you’ve been okay, Jaz! Have you been okay and doing better? How’s the writing going? I’m eager to hear about you again, buddy!! :3

I WUV U TOO, JAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALKSDJAKLGDJDAKLGJDAGLKDAJ AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, LOTS OF HUGS FOR MAH BUDDY JAZ!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Dear Jaz, I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC weekend, and do receive lots of raccoonie hugs and sparkles!! HUGZ

#sashinia2000 #coonreplies

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philanddanxreader · 7 years

Text

New Place

Hello, Love bugs!

Dan X Reader

Warnings-slight Smut, swears.

can we pls get a Dan smut where Dan and the reader are either in dan’s room at the old apartment before dnp move or in dan’s office at the new place either having a last hurrah or christening the new room but then they stumble and end up bumping into the piano and the noise shocks them so much they just end up laughing and it’s all very awkward but kinda cute too-Anon

It was official. The boys we’re moving in two days. The flat looked like a bomb of clothing and knick knacks were everywhere. Phil and Dan and talked about moving for a while but the gas leak was the last straw. When your home is trying to kill you it’s time to get out. When Dan told you they made the official decision to move and that they had started to look for a new place it seemed so final. The flat was a place of memories for not only the boys but for Dan and yourself. You started dating Dan while he lived here. This was the place you had your first kiss with Dan. All of your major firsts together were in these walls. Now it didn’t seem like the seem like your happy place. It was just empty white walls. Dan noticed you were looking a little sad as you sat on his bed flipping through a teen magazine you had found with Dan and Phil’s face on the front.

“Penny for your thoughts.” You looked up to Dan who was spinning in his chair answering emails at the empty desk.

“I guess I’m just a bit sad about Phil and yourself moving.” You tossed the magazine towards the pile of boxes in the corner of the room.

“Why are you sad? I am thrilled we are moving. I no longer have to be worried about dying in my sleep. We are going to have a real office and the best part out of all of it is no more stairs.” Dan moved from the chair to the bed sitting beside you so you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“There are tons of things that are sad about moving. First thing is that you are moving further away from me. That makes me very sad. Second is that you may get a real office but you will no longer have an out of tune piano. That’s pretty sad. And lastly but I happen to think it is the most important. All of our memories are here.” Dan pulled you onto his lap as you hid your face into his shoulder and collar bone.

“You are so adorable. Listen I know we are a little bit further from each other but I am closer to the tube so it’easy to come visit each other.The piano problem is simple. I will buy a little piano that will not be out of tune. If you ask nicely I would probably even play for you.” Dan cuddled you closer as you breathed in his scent. “Lastly we will have so many new memories to make in the new place. Don’t worry love. We will enjoy the new place even more.” Dan looked down at you giving you a smile as you looked up at him.

“You know we could maybe still make some memories here while we still have some time here.” Dan raised his eyebrows at you as you spoke.

“What were you thinking of?” Dan said as he ran a thumb over your cheek.

“I think you can guess what I am thinking of.” Dan didn’t need much more instructions as he pulled you in for a kiss. It started like every kiss with Dan. Soft and sweet but quickly became heated.Your shirt had hit the floor quicker than expected along with your bra. Dan’s hands were running all over your skin. Making sure to leave goosebumps along in his fingertips paths. If the two of you only had two days left to enjoy the flat you were going to make the best of it all. Dan grabbed your hand to help pull you up from the bed. You jumped up along side of him letting him pull you into his chest.

“Kiss me already. We don’t have much time left to be making memories. As you put it.” Dan wrapped his hands around your neck before pulling you in for a kiss. You, of course, kissed back making sure to run your tongue along his bottom lip. As The two of you kissed your hands found their way to Dan’s already growing bulge that was straining against his tight black jeans. Dan moaned into your mouth as his own hands found their way to give your butt some strong squeezes. As you pulled Dan in by his neck to get a better grip he pulled you up by your thighs to lift you up.Unfortunately, as Dan pulled you up he took a step back and ended up tripping over one of the boxes on the floor leading the two of you to tumble into the piano making it play a horrible sound. Dan pulled away as he checked to make sure you were ok as you giggled. The whole situation seemed silly. It was like the two of you were trying to sneak in a makeout session before one of you had to go home for curfew.

“I think we call it a night. How about you?” You said grabbing at Dan’s face to squeeze his cheeks. Dan laughed along as he nodded to you that he indeed thought to call it a night was best for everybody. Including the poor piano who just received a surprise performance.

“Let’s go to bed and cuddle. Tomorrow is a big day of packing up the last of it.” Dan took your hand again but this time lead you to the bed to crawl in and get comfortable.

#danisnotonfire #danisnotonfire imagine #danisnotonfire x reader #dan howell #dan howell imagine #dan howell x reader

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ryntaia · 7 years

Note

Yutaba idea for you! Write about them taking about their moms, pls? Thank you and have a wonderful day! :3

damn anon that’s a quality prompt with quality timing, happy early mother’s day everyone

/Sayuris harder

Let’s get going! Under the cut as usual.

She saw it every day that she walked into Leblanc.

The first time, the painting had confused it. It was like a bootleg toy. Futaba had seen pictures of the infamous Sayuri painting online. Forums loved to post it as a piece of classic art, and she had seen various parodies of it online. But the painting that hung in Leblanc was not like that classic piece of art that permeated popular culture. It did not hold mystery but rather affection. Sweet motherly concern as the slim and beautiful woman held a baby in her arms with reverence in her loving eyes. It was so confusing—this was a side of the Sayuri that forums and online galleries had not shown to Futaba ever before.

When she asked Sojiro about it, he had shrugged and said it was a gift from one of Akira’s friends. When she asked Akira about it, he said it wasn’t his place to tell Futaba about the truth of Sayuri. When she pressed, the quiet leader of the Phantom Thieves simply told her to talk to Yusuke about it. Yusuke! Of all people, it just HAD to be the Inari who had the answer. She knew that the boy was a painter, and that he probably had a comprehensive knowledge of art history, but dear lord was he annoying. All he cared about was his stupid aesthetics. It was so annoying.

So she didn’t ask.

But Akira never took no for an answer.

It was a hot summer afternoon in Leblanc as Futaba sat curled up in the booth seat closest to the painting. Her eyes flitted between the painting and the iced coffee nestled between her fingers, fingers wet with the perspiration from the cup. It was a beautiful painting but somehow it made her feel a bit…uncomfortable at times. There was an intimacy in the painting on the wall that wasn’t in the previous versions she had seen of Sayuri. Sometimes she felt almost like she was voyeuristically peering in on the love between the mother and her child.

It wasn’t a look she knew personally.

She loved you, Futaba.

Futaba shook the conflicting thoughts out of her head, taking a deep swig of the coffee in her hands. From behind the counter, Sojiro gave her a speculative look, but said nothing—he was busy preparing another iced coffee for a rather pompous looking customer. He looked up as the door opened with a sweet ring from the bell; they weren’t getting many customers due to the hot weather, so anyone coming in was a good chance to improve the often lingering profits during the season. The elder man’s face fell into one of annoyance as he realized who it was, turning back to his task at hand.

Futaba peeked over her shoulder and snickered to herself slightly. Of course Sojiro made such a face. Yusuke Kitagawa, the man of aesthetics, the Inari, the starving artist who never had a penny to spare. Sometimes she wondered why her guardian even let the guy into Leblanc. Every time he came he either ordered nothing or let someone else order him a drink. There were very few occasions in which the Inari came around a café without a friend in tow. Then again, there were very few cafés that he could afford in general.

Whenever he did come without someone he would just stand there near the door, staring at the painting against the wall. Futaba sighed. What an enthusiast. She supposed she couldn’t down on him for having so much dedication to his craft and to the painting in question. After all, she hadn’t been monitoring the Phantom Thieves too closely during the Madarame crisis, but she had caught that the Sayuri painting meant something of great importance to him. As it would to any training artist, she guessed, especially to the pupil of the man who had claimed to originally paint it.

Today, though, she was surprised to see that he was alone and yet didn’t cast a single glance at the classic painting. Instead his intense eyes focused in on her. Almost embarrassed, Futaba shuffled to turn around and stare down into the rich coffee and ice chunks in her cup. It didn’t help evade him—he was quickly sitting across from the redhead hacker, gently placing a plastic case down on the table. Futaba’s eyebrow quirked a bit. It looked like it was full of wet brushes. He must’ve come right from one of his classes or…

“I just came from a life drawing session. If that’s what you’re wondering.” Yusuke stated, noting her careful eyes. Futaba’s eyes immediately directed back down to the iced coffee; he let out a chuckle that was as rich as the brew. The redhead flushed and bowed her head, lip jutting out slightly, pushing back the thoughts of how nice a laugh the artist had and how he really should laugh more. Her lips pursed in annoyance.

“So what are you doing here, then, Inari?” Now it was Yusuke’s turn to look annoyed. He had never gotten used to that nickname and it seemed like he never would. “Don’t you got like, I dunno, some nude chick painting to put your ‘finishing touches’ on?”

If the innuendo was not lost on Yusuke, he did not let it show. “Not currently. The models at the life drawing session are underwhelming, to say the least. They don’t capture the pure essence of something like, say…Sayuri.”

Futaba went rigid, eyes slowly travelling across the table and up the fox’s body until she met eyes with the tall teen. His face was tinted with what almost looked like amusement, as if he had caught her or something. She sighed, letting her thin shoulders relax and slope downwards, knees collapsing against the leather booth seats as she rested into crossed legs.

“He told you about what I said? About Sayuri?” She mused then paused, extending a finger to point behind her shoulder. “Uh, THAT Sayuri?”

“Hmm. He said you expressed an interest in the, ah…anomalies of the painting.” Yusuke said as delicately as he could. Futaba groaned. She cared a lot about the odd new family member at Leblanc but somehow, Akira always managed to get things to go the way he wanted—she didn’t even know why she had bothered to resist his suggestions. It had been so annoying at first but at this point she had figured out that it was inevitable. The quiet leader had to have sent Yusuke over to Leblanc while he wasn’t there—Akira was out at a part time job right now.

So Futaba really had nowhere to duck away to. Akira had taken to locking the attic while he wasn’t there and Sojiro obviously wasn’t going to be of any help. He was having a quiet discussion with the pompous customer. They had retreated back to the small kitchen to the side. Undoubtedly forcefully dragged into a conversation, she figured, but one couldn’t be rude to their customers.

Really, she knew all her thinking was just dodging the point. She didn’t even know why she was so uncomfortable asking about the painting. Well, she WAS, since the painting made her feel…awkward, and weird, and out of place, but she didn’t want to ADMIT that to anyone. Least of all Yusuke Kitagawa. It seemed like her choices had been limited, though.

“I’ve seen Sayuri online a lot. It’s a really popular painting. It’s even been parodied a lot on some of the forums I used to go to.” Futaba bundled herself back towards her chest again, resting her elbow on the space between her legs and her stomach. “I’ve never seen a Sayuri like this, though. People on the forums were always talking about how her gaze was mysterious or something…but in that painting, there’s something to gaze at. There’s a BABY. And I…where did Sojiro get this? It has something to do with Madarame’s….uh, cognition, right?”

“I gave it to Akira. He decided to hang it in Leblanc so I could come see it anytime. It was…Madarame’s treasure.” Yusuke’s smile faltered, his eyes clouding over darkly. Futaba cocked her head to the side. “My…my mother painted it. It was a self portrait she did right before she died.”

Oh.

She almost got whiplash with how fast she turned around to stare over the booth at the beautiful woman and her baby. “So that baby is…”

“Yes.”

“Did you…?”

“I don’t remember her, no. But I always was drawn to this painting.” The fond honesty in Yusuke’s eyes was honestly quite astounding; Futaba had not seen that kind of honesty in anyone outside of her family. It was a tender feeling expressed in its full, with no bars held, as he gazed at the long dried paints laid by a woman long past gone. And she couldn’t even find a way to question it; not with the adoration that reflected back at the boy in the eyes of the painted mother. It was a maternal love caught in time and impossible to see as anything else.

Futaba’s gaze found the floor.

“…She seems like a great mom.” She mumbled slightly, sliding out of the booth to turn away from the tall teen. Yusuke studied her back contemplatively; the dejected slope of her shoulders, the fingers clasped painfully together, the slightest hint of her profile that told him she was biting her lip. He hummed to himself and tapped his finger against the table, not responding to her statement as she began to hobble towards the door without a word.

“Wakaba was a great mother in her own way as well, Futaba.”

The result was instantaneous. The redhead’s body jerked upwards, her arms circling around to her chest as she turned towards him with wide and worried brown eyes. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she COULD say. It wasn’t like she could say that Yusuke didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, because of COURSE he did, he had been right into the tomb of her mind where she kept her deepest fears of her mother. Even after crumbling that disaster of a Palace, Futaba couldn’t help but be nagged by concerns about her mother now and then.

Maybe, she thought, maybe that’s why I can’t stop looking at that Sayuri. Because I see a mother in that picture who…

“My mother was a physically weak woman but she had enough love to make her paint express it. I didn’t know her long but I do know that. She was full of love.” Yusuke was looking past Futaba now, at the painting on the wall. “I didn’t always know that, though. I was only a baby, after all, so I couldn’t even recognize her face in the painting when it was shown to me. And Madarame altered it to keep anyone from ever knowing, to create a mystery. And maybe to the public, that was truly intriguing. But I suppose that to me, to that baby, what she actually made means so much more. Because that’s the love that I could never truly realize she had, the love I couldn’t ever touch with her.”

“I…Yusuke, I mean…”

He gave her a broad smile. “Your mother was no painter. But she was a scientist, was she not? A busy woman.”

“My…memories of her are kind of fuzzy.” Futaba admitted. She couldn’t even figure out why she was telling him this. Maybe it was the sincerity of his words, or maybe it was the honesty of his eyes. “She didn’t have time for me very much. It was rough for her…but I guess you know that. But I…”

She trailed off. Her eyes latched back onto Sayuri.

“Futaba.”

“Hmm?”

“Everything that Sayuri feels for that baby, your mother felt for you as well. You do not have to look at Sayuri and question that.”

The hacker stared, open mouthed, at the artist sitting in the booth. Moments later pinpricks of tears burned at her eyes, face scrunching up as her body seemed to cave into itself. She couldn’t even see through the blurry tears, tearing off her glasses to wipe furiously at the chaffing flesh of her cheeks. She had lied to herself looking at that painting. She had told herself that it made her feel uncomfortable to look into the life and love of another but really…Sayuri had just made her sad, made her insecure, made her wonder if her mother had ever looked at her like Sayuri looked at her precious baby. A question she never needed to ask. A question already answered.

Futaba jolted slightly when she felt arms around her, drawing her into the tall teen’s crisp white uniform shirt. Yusuke had linked his arms underneath hers, drawing the young hacker girl close to him. Her shock quickly washed away as she let out another weak sob, burying her face into Yusuke’s chest as he cradled her. Like a precious thing, like a child, like the way her mother cradled her as a child. Like the love that she had felt from Wakaba but had been tricked into forgetting by criminals and by time itself. She let her tears out there and then, letting it slide that she was almost sure she saw the artist wipe away a few of his own tears.

And somehow that was all okay. Somehow, when she looked at Sayuri out of the corner of her blurry eyes, the presence of the woman and her baby felt less invasive and more charming and close.

In the eyes of Sayuri is the adoration of a caring mother.

A mother like your own.

#Persona 5 #prompts #Yutaba #Yusuke Kitagawa #Futaba Sakura #Sayuri Kitagawa #Wakaba Isshiki #Sayuri #Mother's Day Special #Mother's Day #well timed prompts #fanfics #fanfiction #spoilers #P5 spoilers #Anonymous

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