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#pedro pascal universe
popcornforone · 23 days
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Wholehearted Attention
A Dave York Fan Fic
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Stabby it’s been to long. I’ve missed writing Dave & I have lots of ideas for him in draft. But then someone sent me this photo & the idea formed itself & here we are… yep a Dave York Saturday is needed by all for some relief.
Synopsis:- You have had a stressful day at work & are having some me time in the bath, when Dave gets home & he is happy to encourage you.
Word Count:-3700
Warnings:- ALL OF THEM!!! seriously DONOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Oral both, mentions of piv, establish relationships, smut, swearing, cum tasting, squirting, drinking, shower sex, mentions of erotic literature, self pleasure, toys. Yea we are full on talking Dave at his Davest. Daddy is used.
God I’m so happy I wrote this & that Dave gets all of this.
Thanks for the read peoples, all feed back is welcome. I hope you enjoy.
“Thank fuck” you sigh as you walk through the door. The most hellish day of work is over. Presentations just kept coming at meetings. Phone calls & emails never stopped. You are glad to be kicking those heels off. You need a calm night a really calming night. You don’t know if your partners going to be home at all tonight, his work means his returns can be a little bit all over the place.
You know what you need. Your parents would scoff but you don’t care. You pour a large glass of wine & light a couple of candles as the bubble bath starts to fill up. Jasmine & cherry blossom. The same fragrance as your perfume which this year they made into bath products too. You also click the radio on to listen to some smooth rnb music as you undress & step into the tub. Nice & hot & ready for you to have a long soak. You when you have these moments of calm, always bring a small table with you, to put the wine, a small towel, your phone & a book on. The book is one of the items your parents would disapprove of. It’s called The Captains Desire. It’s pure smut. Men can watch porn all they want but women, as well as that, get to read & imagine it. You know you are up to the part where it’s about to get very hot. So this time you’ve also brought your bullet vibrator with you just to stimulate yourself enough. But before you enjoy your wine & read you make sure to wash yourself while the water is still warm. Steam comes off you as well as the tub.
15mins into your bath & You are lick your lips as you read, getting lost in the pages. It’s hot. It’s at the point where you want to enjoy it & so you slowly put your glass of wine down & grab the vibrator. No lube needed your in a hot steamy bath & you click onto button 1. You gasp as the vibrations start against your clit & you turn the page ready to see how the captain will respond to the tease in the book. But then the worst thing happens. As you select the second pulse setting your vibrator dies.
“What no!” You put your book down quickly & grab the towel to dry it off. You click again to start it up & it goes for 10 seconds before stopping again. You even try swapping the betteries round (down worry your hands are dry your aren’t stupid) but to no avail. “Fuck”
You say as you slam the toy down on the towel. It hadn’t even got you started. You sink completely under the bubbles & water & close your eyes for a minute. Trying to calm down. You know you need to come up for air soon, but your left hand has started to pleasure yourself underneath the suds. Your clit is so needy. You slowly push yourself up out of the water, eyes still closed & reach for the towel on the side.
It’s not there.
You start to panic.
You’ve got soap in your eyes & you don’t want it to sting. But before you can thrash around in the tub you feel the small towel Grace across your face. Your grip it & give yourself a proper dry before opening your eyes.
Your partner is home. He’s in a light blue shirt & black trousers, with a silver buckled belt. He’s home & he’s looking at you in awe.
“I’m home sweetheart”
“Dave” you lift your head a bit more & he leans his head down to softly kiss you. Your wet hand cups his face as he starts to breathe heavily. However you can already tell he’s not up for getting in the bath with you, well not yet anyhow. He’s not wearing a tie, he likes to be pulled by it from time to time with you just to give you some control.
“Having a relaxing evening”
“Very until my bullet stopped”
“Naughty, touching yourself without me” he mocks. Dave likes complete control, even over your self pleasure.
“Well you read that book & tell me if it’s not sexy” you roll your eyes at him, put the towel down now, your face is soap & bubble free & sip on your wine. Dave raises an eyebrow.
“Is this like 50 shades?”
“Ha” you scoff. “They wish they had written anything like this. This isn’t a romance this is desire & let’s just say that one of the book reviews for it online someone said they actually couldn’t recharge their dildo enough” Dave scoff at you.
“The captains desire” he reads before reading the blurb. “Captain Flores is on a survival mission that goes wrong & he is left with just his lookout Emilia Rutton, a woman who swore men off 6 years ago. But survival will mean much more than just getting out of this war zone alive. Hmmm doesn’t sound that smutty to me”
You sigh & look at Dave.
“Then read some to me”
“What?
“Read the next couple of pages to me & let’s see how it makes you feel” you’re still sipping on your wine.
“I’m not reading that” Dave put the book down.
“Why not? Are you afraid the Captain Flores is better at seducing than you?” Dave gives you a face like thunder. No one’s ever challenged his powers of seduction. You know he’s sometimes on mission where he needs to flirt kiss or sleep for information or for the kill. You’ve learnt to accept that over the last couple of years. You also know he’s cut back on doing that a lot since he was able to fill your cunt on tap.
“Didn’t you fall into my arms at that club?” He starts to clear the small table items off it putting them on the bathroom counter.
“True but if you’d not said you have a sour cocktail because you probably are just so sweet I’d have never sucked you cock in the disabled toilet that night”
“Ahhh memories, we should go out & do that again”
“Dave were banned” you both laugh.
“True but it was worth it”
Dave then sits on the cleared table at the end of the bath & takes the glass of wine from your hand. You rest your arms on the end on the bath lying on your front. As you turned Dave saw your arse come out of the water for a few seconds. He also loves that your head is directly in line with his crutch, so Dave man spreads as he sits on the little table & strokes your face.
“I’m going to read a page at random, okay? let’s see how it goes” he says. Your eyes light up. You know that even if there is no sex in a chapter it’s full of sexual tension from chapter 4 onwards of imaginary scenarios.
“Ahem” Dave clears his voice & randomly opens a page. You lick your lips hoping for him to read something dirty.
“Flores… she moaned begging for more. Feeling the way he licked her pussy dry… wooo” have slams the book shut but keeps a finger in that page.
“Problem Dave?” You ask like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth, all innocently.
“Thought you said this was smut, I’ve just read the next line. This is worse than some hardcore porn”
“Dave”
“I’m serious” he shakes his head. “& yet you can just casually sit in a bus with this in your hand & imagine all of that” you nod. “Damn women are built different.”
“Keep reading Dave im sure when you get to the captain you’ll sound so suave” Dave pulls a face at you.
“Okay” he slowly opens the book back up & you can see him try to see what’s coming next.
“Don’t spoil it for yourself Dave” you chuckle & smack his knee.
“Just wanted to see that’s all.” & he spreads his legs a bit more continuing to read. “Emilia knew it wouldn’t be long before she squirted covering the captains mustache. His left hand was fisting her arse as they lay on the hut bed. The broken mirror on the floor meant Emilia could see the captains angle. How he adored her. How his face was glistening each lick of her clit, each motion of her arse pucking had her moaning his name like this was the last time she’d ever be fucked. Her naked body still damp from being caught in the rain…” you are feeling aroused & you suddenly realise Dave is too. He can’t spread his legs anymore than that but there is a much larger bulge in his trousers than usual. Hes palming it as he reads. “… rain that they may have to shower in afterwards. Both of them are thinking this. There are few facilities in this shack. Both Flores & Emilia have wondered how good their naked body’s would work if they grabbed the soap, to clean each other only to just get dirty again…” his hand undoes his belt & the top button of his trousers just to stop his growing erection splitting the trousers. “Emilias body rolled feeling every sensation, not worried anymore if she’d suffocate the captain, although she was concerned as she now knew she could squirt that she might down him… oooh fuck” Dave’s hands tremble almost making him drop the book. You’ve slowly leaned forward unzipped his fly & started stroking his penis. “Oooh baby”
“Don’t think that was in that chapter Dave” you say long firm strokes get him fully erect in a few seconds.
“Who gives a fuck about a book, when I can have the real thing” he stands up & drops his trousers & boxers to the floor & strokes his own penis.”you now have my whole hearted attention” he slides the table forward, puts the book on the floor & strokes his angry head against you lips. “Do you want to make your daddy happy?” You nod & start to lick around the angry purple head of his penis now he’s sat back down. The pre cum is salty & tangy.
“Ooh sweetheart” his hips already bolting. “No wonder you take long baths if you read that kind of stuff” he caresses your face as you start to slurp taking him into your mouth further. The grip on your chin is firm but you know it will get harder. He fills your mouth. Saliva coating his length. Your eyes wide each time he hits the back of your throat. He’s on the edge of the table now because he wants to be ever further down your throat. The noises you are making are forcing Dave to concertrate, he doesn’t want to cum in the first few minutes, but the feel of your plump lips engulfing him make his eyes roll back. His grip on your chin gradually getting tighter.
“You like making daddy happy, fuck baby, your mouth was made for my cock, fuck.” He’s growling. He briefly lets go of your chin to remove his blue shirt so he is also naked before both his hands return to your head one on the chin & one runs it’s way through your hair before he encourages more movement, more bobbing, because he wants to see you as a spluttering mess when he ejaculates.
“You gonna swallow it all when the time comes, sweetheart? Is my good little girl gonna make me happy? Bet your soaked even without being in the bath” he whines as he holds your chin in place. You nod & he pushes down harder. One hand of yours helping his penis as you choke around it. The other has your fingers digging into your thigh. He’s panting hard, his moans echo around the bathroom. The feel of his length inside your mouth & the way your suck & twirl your talented tongue, has him struggling to hold on.
“Fuck baby, ooh shit oooohhhh mmmmmm shit fuck more more I can’t I… I… oooh jesus!” Dave screams your name. His ball almost burst. Your mouth spills his seed as it flows into your mouth & it doesn’t stop. Often Dave will trickle & then will give you some more when he fucks you in which ever position he likes that night. But no, your gagging & you swallow some as you remove his penis from your mouth. His cum escapes as he sits back & let’s go if your head.
“Fuck oooh fuck” he pants as he try’s to calm down, he’s still hard so you grip him again & slowly start licking off his cum & your spit from his length, you chin getting even more covered in the residue. “Well sweetheart you do have the magic touch.” He smirks as you let his cock go from your mouth as is starts to soften with a pop. “You did miss a spot” Dave says. You know you have, you can feel it on your face. His salty seed & your saliva. You take your thumb & push it back into your mouth.
“Tastes like heaven Dave” you moan & lean your head over the edge of the bath once you are done. Dave thinks your going into for a kiss but you aren’t. He’s a little perturbed when you move your head back, but then his eyes widen. You blow a spit Bubble & then gulp it down to create another one.
“Oooh my little slut you have all my attention” you both know his cum is mixed in with your spit as you keep regurgitating the bubble. The 5th time, it’s large & sloppy & you let it pop so your lips are covered by the moisture. You’ve never seen Dave move in for a kiss so quickly in your life. His tongue & yours working together, tasting the tangy mess your collective bodily fluids have made. No romance novel would ever cover this moment. He’s hungry for you despite you satisfying him.
“Want more Dave?” You mumble eventually as your lips break.
“Just a taste sweetheart, just a taste” both his arm go underneath you & with his magnificent strength he hoists your naked dripping body out of the bath so you glisten in front of him. He licks his lips & he cups your left breast. “We don’t want you wrinkling sweetheart do we, not while daddy is ravenous” he raises an eye brow before smacking your bum. Your little squawk has him all excited, as he then takes a few steps back & lays on the floor.
You know what he wants, & he expects you to know. His crutch & penis are so inviting to ride on but Dave wants you to take pride of place on your favourite seat. You’re still standing & walking up the side of him. You’ve not towelled off. You’re still dripping but that’s what he likes. If Dave had his way, he’d have you as a stay at home partner walking around in just the matching underwear he buys you so then he can shred it from your body when he needs a release & he can fuck your body until you physically can’t cum anymore. Dave is that man & damn you’ll play the needy bratty slut for him on command. You secretly enjoy it more than you let off but it does also stop Dave’s eyes wandering else where.
“How much of a taste would you like daddy?” You say as you stand across him. He’s looking up. He could try & make eye contact but he’s really looking straight up your legs, & past your thighs to see what your index finger is doing to your clit already. He’s not sure if it’s your arousal or bath water that’s dripping onto his face. He doesn’t give a fuck. You want this too.
“I want it all, I want you to forget your name & give me a facial” his hands are running up your lower legs, stopping just below your knees. He knows your ticklish behind them but he stops as you lower yourself slowly ready to sit on Dave’s face.
“Say please daddy”
“Oooh no sweetheart, you should be the one asking for it” those two firm hands pull you straight over his head & he sniffs at your sex. “Oooh fuck baby,” & he licks his first stripe over your clit.
“Mmm yeaa” you moan back. He’s going in circles around it. His tongue is even more magnificent than yours.
“Ddd…Dave” your whingeing already. Dripping onto his lips feeling every motion.
“On all fours” you hear as Dave grips your arse.
“Hmmm” Dave spanks your bum.
“All fours sweetheart, I know what you like.”
“What do you…. Ahhh” Dave swats your bum again meaning you jolt forward. He moves his head to the side so you can see him speak to reveal something you thought he didn’t know.
“I’ve seen you, using that wand on all fours, a pillow between your legs to hump so you can feel the friction. I know it gets you off. I’ve heard you scream my name as you do it” you blush the deepest shade of red. How does Dave know this? & yet the idea of him spying on you arouses you even more. “I want you to face fuck me”
“Dave.. I…” a firm smack connects with your arse. You moan, arousal drips onto his neck.
“It’s not a requested, Daddy said he wanted to give you his whole hearted attention.” His fingers dig into your bum & start to move you in place.
You get on all fours & the tip of his nose rubs against your clit as he squeezes you down onto his face. Both his hands gripping just bellow your arse cheeks as you moan.
“Fuck Dave… oooh god” his oral onslaught starts. “Mmmm oooh yess yess” your hesitant at first., you don’t want to suffocate him underneath you, your looking up at the bathroom sink, your feet starting to twitch in pleasure. It’s only a few more seconds before you start to move. Your hips rolling. The anti-clockwise motion pushing onto his face. He laps away at your cunt. Suddenly your no longer worried & you start to move like you do when your on top for missionary or when you have your own time & his pillow between your legs.
“Ooooohhh yes yes yes.” You moan as your body jiggles & Dave sticks his thumb inside your arsehole. “Yea baby yea, I like that fuck ooooh yes yes yes” you can’t control your moans. Your body twitches as your cunt gets devoured by the best oral lover(or any sexual lover for that matter) that you’ve ever had in your life. He looks after you & the way his hand is now caressing your cheeks, while the other now has another finger in your arse has you screaming loudly.
“Fuck daddy yes fuck fuck you gonna make me cum you gonna make me squirt, oooh baby more more more more oooh fuck yes.” You convulse & feel everything explode inside you. With an earthy groan you climax & cover his face, drenching him. You hear him splutter a little as your body slows down, but then as you go to give him air he keeps you in place, lepping every single drop that you just squirted all over him. “Oh fuck yes that’s it” his head is fully locked between your twitching thighs as you calm down.
“Good girl” you hear from between your legs. A softer pat of your arse happens & he helps you crawl off him onto the bathroom floor. You rest your head next to his as you both lie there exhaling for air for different reasons. You turn your head & see his glistening face & he laughs.
“I made a mess”
“That you did” it’s a delicious kiss he gives you as you lean in. You can taste your own saltyness on his lips & skin. You slowly start to caress his body, working your way down to his happy trail & eventually start stroking his once again hard penis. Pre cum dripping from the tip as he cups your breasts. This is no longer a soft kiss, your making out on the bathroom floor. Dave’s moaning more than you are as you both sit up & he pulls your body in close, he can feel your heart race. Each thud making him want you more. He slips a finger inside your cunt just to keep you moist for the next part of the evening.
“I think we need to clean this up sweetheart.” He says eventually his lips leaving yours but his index finger shhing you before you can say a word. “Didn’t your book talk about those two having a shower & exploring each others bodies after an adventure?”
“Yes Dave it did”
“Well let’s get dirty while getting clean, because you face fucking me is the greatest adventure of my day” Dave slowly stands up & helps you up off the floor slapping your arse once more. “I mean I once was an army captain, maybe in should make you call me that instead of daddy?”
“Don’t tempt me captain,” you reply as you both step into the shower. “I might need to be punished for breaking your rules” steam fills the walk in shower as the hot water flows & Dave pushes you against the glass as the spray hits you both.
“Well if good girls are gonna read smut, they are going to get all they deserve” Dave growls eyes filled with desire. As his lips find yours for a hungry kiss you gasp, he’s filled you to the brim, your special spot quivering I’m just the one motion. “But my girl, she likes to make me happy” he says before his rhythm picks up not just in the shower, but in bed afterwards for the next 2 days.
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Wintering (The Irish Poem) - Joel Miller x Reader
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Summary: Joel reads a favourite poem of yours, and reflects on the subject's similarities to you.
Rating: E. minors dni.
Pairing: Joel Miller x SeasonalDepression!Reader (F)
Tags: Irish coded reader. a little bit of Gaeilge. One Shot. Happy Ending(™). FLUFF. Sickening fluff. Soft!Joel. Established relationship/situationship. No smut in this but could be in the future.(❀❛ ֊ ❛„). Book a dentist appointment my friends, you will probably have cavities after reading this.
CW: brief mention of suicide and overdose attempt, mentions of seasonal depression/mental illness symptoms, mention of SSRIs. 
WC: 2.4k
A/N: Happy late St. Patrick’s Day! This work was inspired by an Irish poem called “Geimhriú” by Ailbhe Ní Ghearbhuigh. The translation came from this post, and I only have a little Irish but it seems right. The Irish language is beautiful and I love it dearly, so I wanted my first posted work to celebrate it (i'm terrified of sharing this btw lol). I wrote this bc culture and language is nearly always left behind and forgotten in survivalist worlds like TLOU, and it’s rarely a theme in fics, but is an essential part of survival, especially for Irish communities. I may potentially expand this work to a series to explore more aspects of Irish culture as part of the story if it's well-received and I feel like it. btw this is not beta-read and idk how to format anything - this is genuinely my first time posting so there are likely mistakes! please comment if you find one, or have constructive criticisms, and of course like/reshare and interact if you had a good time reading this, it would mean the world to this little Irish gal.
(♡ ὅ ◡ ὅ )ʃ♡ enjoy!
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊.
Even at the end of the world, in the fucking apocalypse, in this shitty, godforsaken place, you were still somehow suffering from a seasonal affliction. 
Depression, that is. 
Joel saw it immediately, the way you took a little longer to answer the door when he came for you in the mornings, the bags under your eyes just a little more pronounced as the days in your district grew less colourful and the dry leaves wilted to the sodden earth. He also saw how you tried to hide it and for a while, tried to respect your clear denial of something being very, very wrong. 
To your credit, you did what you could; soldiered on. Ate and slept more than usual, like a bear. Before the outbreak, you’d been on Zoloft, then Wellbutrin, but the chances of any SSRI medication still existing were so slim you knew you didn’t need to bother checking. 
Even so, it frustrated you every morning, the fact that you weren’t like Joel. That you couldn’t just get up and get on with your day, that you needed some stupid chemical to make your brain work just because the weather was cold and the sky was churning furiously, gnashing it's teeth on nothing but grey, day-in and day-out. 
You couldn’t make sense of it. You were living in near constant poverty, under a dystopian military dictatorship and in the middle of a civil war every god-damned fucking day whether the sun was shining or not, so why did the fields being barren and slick with sleet make you viscerally despise life so much more than seeing them full of fresh flowers and humming with bees? You’d still be hungry at the end of the day. Exhausted. What should the seasons matter to you now? There was no difference. No future. Not then.
You had hoped that maybe eventually, living in constant survival mode might, y’know, actually make your brain want to survive. But it didn’t. You hated it. But what you hated about yourself most of all was the fact that you desperately needed help. It was pathetic. Weak. 
Joel didn't see it that way. Well, he didn't now.
At the start he thought it hadn't been too serious. Maybe you were 'just tired'.
But then winter had nearly taken you from him that year. The sudden and shocking bone-chill of Boston post-October had him practically dragging you out of your own bed every morning for the “supply run” he had taken to bringing you along on; silently begging you to get up and keep going for his sake if not your own. Telling you if a man from Texas could survive it, you’d better get your sorry ass up and do the same. 
He’d found you then, in late December, the dead of night, throwing up and barely breathing. You’d collected enough opioids to kill a horse and tried to take your own life. You’d been lucky to see the next sunrise, and that was the last time he’d allowed you to sleep on your own. And the first time he’d heard of “Seasonal Depressive Disorder”, or whatever it was. 
You’d explained that before all this, you’d had medications that would have stopped this issue for you; so Joel, having then appointed your fragile well-being as his responsibility, had looked for some. But of course there was nothing. So much to everyone else's delight, he spent the winter just like you; because like two really fucked-up peas in a pod, if you were in a foul mood, Joel’s was never far behind. With the QZ being overcrowded, freezing, and insistent on working you both to the bone, you were always in a foul mood. 
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
So now he can admit to himself that he likes this; likes seeing the glow of your rosy, apple cheeks in the tangerine afternoon rays of a tired day. The way the sunlight dapples the colour of your hair; the lazy smile that breaks across your gentle mouth as the cool breeze caresses you both. This wheat field is completely abandoned, high bland stalks swaying quietly. The rush of the little river nearby. A perfect place to take you; you who were beaming so joyfully, could’ve replaced the goddamn sun itself as far as it concerned him. 
He feels the embroidered spine of your book in his hand, holding it away from your reach. The one you always had open on the same page, the one he caught you reading when you were supposed to have your hands on your rifle and your sharp eyes looking for guards and raiders.
“Let me read it.” he grins without realizing it, stretching a little further away as your fingers grab for purchase, pointlessly. You're too short to even touch the cover as he leans over you. “No!” You reiterate, and he frowns, a finger coming to his lips to remind you of your surroundings. Still careful. “Why not, huh? Can't be that bad if y'like it so much.” 
A slow blush stains you as you huff, dropping your arms to your sides. Like a petulant child. Admitting defeat.
“Fine, but it’s not even in English.”
He quirks an eyebrow at that, and keeps your gaze as he flips the faded, worn pages open to find the one he’s looking for. “You won’t understand it.” You whisper. But he doesn’t need to understand it, he just wants to see. It makes perfect sense to him that you're bilingual, he doesn't know a lot about you, but he knows you're smart, and sharp as a tack...as long as something interests you.
The paper of this page in particular is dog-eared to the point of severe damage, and marked to all hell, but it isn’t dusty at all. Whatever this is, he sees that it’s well-loved by you. Well-read. His curiosity gets the better of him as you make one last reach for the precious item and he, with ease and very quiet glee, denies you. 
He doesn’t try to read it aloud though, the words roll around on his tongue unfamiliar, tangled up in the calculator of his brain that is so used to the anglo-saxon american structure of speech. But he scans it quietly all the same, to your surprise. 
Ná labhair focal,
ná féach im threo,
tá duifean ar mo chroí
nách n-ardófar. 
Géillim don ngeimhriú
Ní aithneofar mé 
go péacadh na mbachlóg. 
Ailbhe Ní Ghearbhuigh.
He clears his throat, and runs a finger along the last line of text; “This the author?” 
You peer over, nodding. He hums in acknowledgement, filing the information away for later. Then he graciously hands the book back to you, brushing your fingers with his, and you snatch it away; folding it closed against your lap. A low gust of wind makes the hair that frames the sides of your face dance delicately. You lean back on your arms then, to appear relaxed. Trying not to think of the delicious electricity sparkling under your smooth skin at his touch. Failing. You're hot, now. The humidity doing nothing to cool off the desire pooling in your belly as you look up at him through thick lashes. He's chewing a thought in his mouth, you can see it.
“Gaelic?” 
You are actually taken aback, but smile and shake your head good-naturedly at the attempt. “Gaeilge.” 
A look of confusion crosses his brow and a laugh, golden and sugary, pours from your chest. It squeezes him with violent affection for you. “Gaelic is Scottish. This is Irish. Gaeilge.” You repeat, cocking your head. “They’re different.” 
He nods slowly. He wants to ask you how you came to speak it, and is that why you have a lilt in your accent? did you come from there? From Ireland? And how did you manage to keep speaking it after the outbreak?
 But, he thinks those questions can wait til later. You'll tell him your story on your own terms when you're ready, and he respects that. What he does know is that this must be important to you somehow, and he's happy to focus on that for now.
 “You gonna tell me what it’s about?” 
“I could...but those are meant to be read and understood in the spirit of the language they’re in. They’re not meant to be in English.” You season the last word with some disdain, teasing.
He gives you a dry look and you laugh again. Rolling his eyes and pretending to fall over, he pops back up and props his dozy head with his elbow against the coffee-brown and burgundy leaves that have scattered and broken on the ground beneath gale-swept branches. Then he waits. 
You take him in in all his intensity, the way his curls ruffle against his hand. The sleeves of his shirt pushed to his elbows, muscles and tendons flexing and taut, brown in the sun and from working outdoors.
You guess you do owe him one. Reaching your free hand towards him, he turns his face into your gentle touch on his jaw, and you just about explode. How could you deny him anything when he looks like this?
“Alright,” You give in, and it feels like the easiest thing in the world.  
The book opens once more, and his pretty eyes follow your slender finger against the printed words with his gaze; you feel observed; shy. And you begin, your voice unsure of itself. But his hand on your thigh is cosy, encouraging.
“Don’t say a word,
Don’t look in my direction,
There’s something on my heart 
That can’t be lifted. 
I give in to wintering 
You won’t see me
Til the buds begin to blossom”. 
“Til the buds begin to blossom.” He repeats slowly, intentionally. 
“You a man of literature now, Miller?” 
He exhales sharply. “Not at all, ma’am. Just a curious one.”
The corner of your lips tugs upwards at this easier side of him - and you hum as you close the book and set it down with care, next to you. You each settle against the other comfortably then, taking in the sights and scents around you. A tranquility has made home inside your bones, with the feeling of his warm front against your back and you raise your face to the rays of sun; still beaming onto you from the early evening sky. Your whole body rests now, soothed by his presence.
Comfortable silence blankets over you both, for a few minutes. 
“So, d’ya like the view?” He asks all of a sudden, kicking his feet back and stretching against the massive tree he’s got you both behind - completely hidden from the view of the gate patrol. He’s been scoping this place out for weeks, he knows it’s safe. 
You feel his shirt ride up against your back and it ignites something that quickly dwarfs anything mellow or peaceful inside you.
“Do I like it, Joel Miller?” You repeat incredulously, turning around and crawling onto his lap; with only a little grace. His rough, calloused hands instinctively come up to your hips, and the denim of your worn jeans suddenly feels far too tight and restrictive for the kinds of lovely, fuzzy messages your body is giving to you. You straighten up, leaning in to breathe; a faint hint of whiskey, lot of smoke. Lot of man. Yours. Your man. 
Before you can unleash the teasing reply you had tucked away for him, an unwelcome thought sobers you. He notices the shadow cross your pretty face, the terrible memory flickering away in the back of your mind. Calling back to your thoughts before, you realise very abruptly that you do owe him one. In fact, you owe him your life for this very afternoon. The seeping heat on your skin and the pastel wildflowers. The gorgeous vermillion colour of the sky. The rush of contentment in your heart.
“I never would have even seen this sunset if it wasn’t for you.” You murmur, lowly enough that he has to strain to hear it. A grumble rumbles in his chest but he says nothing in reply, so you stay quiet, and take his larger hands into yours. Trying to convey how grateful you are with your touch. Hoping it'll osmosis or something. Knowing you can never repay him for his selflessness, his friendship, his sacrifices. 
He clears his throat then, to get your attention, and you lock eyes with him; searching and deep. Knowing. 
“You know I love it.” you whisper, appreciating the deep brown irises framed by spectacular eyelashes. The eyes you’d know absolutely anywhere. “I love it more than anything.”
You’re not talking about the view anymore. 
 He knows it, too; lines softening at the complete adoration on your face, the vulnerability; the way you’re giving it all to him. And he wants it even though he really shouldn’t. He wants you exactly like this for the rest of your lives. Warm and happy, tucked up next to him in some butt-fuck middle of nowhere place in the sun, tending to your garden and reading your books and your poems, unbothered by the harsh realities of the world revolving around you. Away and safe from the sickness and cruelty of the cities.
 He watches carefully the radiant glow that’s touching your expression, and he can’t help but understand then, why you like that poem. 
It’s you. 
In moments like these, when you’re pressed up against him and smelling so sweet he feels heady and drunk, it’s much harder to shove away those very domesticated thoughts he’s been having; of you and the kind of things he wants to give you. The kind of life he wants you to have, together. Although he couldn’t tell you out loud, not yet anyway. He’s working on it. 
You wonder what he's thinking about, leaning to press a soft kiss to his chin to bring him back to earth- closing your eyes at rough stubble brushing against your cheek. You feel an earth-shattering smile and wish you could see, but it’s gone by the time you raise your head again. 
What you do see is a tanned arm reaching behind you to pluck something from the soft earth.
It’s a sunflower. Bright and plush and golden. 
 Like you, he thinks. 
Firm fingers gently and deftly push your strands aside, carefully slipping the green stalk of it right behind your left ear.
Leaning back to peer at you and admire his handiwork, he tucks his hands behind his head.
 He compares what’s in front of him now to his memories of last month; your face tear-tracked and pale in his bed, telling him you didn’t want to live. Him never knowing how to help you, spending those bleak evenings with fear poisoning his every thought, constantly worrying he would come back home to you cold and still. Wrapping himself tight around you in his bed late at night in the hopes he could somehow just piece it all back together by holding you. The memories the experience brought up for him; the ones fuelling his terror of failing you, like he failed her. 
And now you here, surrounded by spring buds blossoming in the sweet change of the season. Wildflowers, peonies, just like you, so easily pleased by the sun and the green of the forest and the view from the top of your apartment building once the snow had begun to melt. Softened by just a little bit of warmth and a lot of love. A lot of care. He's proud of you and how hard you've worked to drag yourself out of the place you were in.
He’s suddenly finding it difficult to control the way he wants to cry with relief. 
You don’t know any of this, of course. But the way he observes you so deliberately sends little shivers down your spine, despite the humidity and haze. You do feel kind of silly sitting like this though, so you reach up to pull the flower from your hair, but his fingers grip your wrist hard and fast before you can get to it and they tell you otherwise, pressing indents into your skin that you'll remember later tonight.
“Don’t.” He says softly. “I like it.”
You try to stop the grin from breaking out but fail miserably, and he's dazzled by it. One smile, and he’s completely and overwhelmingly filled with love for you.
 Yes, he thinks; even at the end of the world, even in this shitty fucking place, this apocalyptic nightmare, you still somehow manage to blossom in the sun.
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honeyedmiller · 8 months
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god the smut writing in this fandom is s tier it has awoken something PRIMAL in me.
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bebx · 2 months
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nothing against Pedro Pascal, I love him, but for me, Ioan Gruffudd will always be the iconic, most perfect Reed Richards and no one else can play him like Ioan does.
that being said, it would be super great to see Ioan as Reed again where he teamed up with Pedro’s Reed and John Krasinski’s Reed (so we had 3 Reed Richards variants from different timelines).
also credit to @doseofthreecuties , thank you for putting these photos together. our Reed Richards ♡
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The ✨️Genders✨️ of the Pedro Pascal Cinematic Universe:
Asshole (affectionate)
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Babygirl (derogatory)
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Babygirl (affectionate)
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Slut
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scrambledslut · 11 months
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i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism
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fuckyeahpedropascal · 4 months
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It’s literally the same picture
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perotovar · 22 days
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#love a good leather jacket
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morallyinept · 8 months
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A list of all my favourite JOEL MILLER Fic Recs, with the writers tagged. Includes fics I am currently reading/want to read.
PART 2
Please show some love to the writers by re-blogging and commenting on their work. 🖤
⚠️ Please ensure you check the triggers/warnings etc... on the stories themselves as some of them may not be suitable to your own particular tastes.
Jealousy - @naughtyneganjdm
Little Black Dress - @hellishjoel Bartender!Joel
All Things Go - @fhatbhabie PlusSizeLatina!Reader
Rock Me To Sleep - @randofantfic
A Savage Place Series - @gasolinerainbowpuddles Dom x Sub Dynamic
No Strings Attached - @dustydaddyyy
Bad Blood Series - @jrrmint Raider!Joel
The Insemination - @megangovier20 Doc!Joel
Somebody To Heal, Somebody to Hold - @bearsbeetsbeskar Dispensary!Joel
Joyride - @strang3lov3
Silk & Sweat Series - @hexidous
Joel Miller: Attorney At Law - @chloeangelic ShadyLawyer!Joel
Joel Miller Masterlist - @chloeangelic More Joel to enjoy!
One More Day Series - @cevans-is-classic
Cowboy Like Me Series - @macfrog DBF!Joel
Code Red Series DBF!Joel, Call Your Bluff & Joel Masterlist - @chaotic-mystery
Imbibe Series - @sin-djarin Mixologist!Joel
The Voicemail - @elvinaa
All You Wanna Do & The Wound Won't Close - @atticrissfinch Dark!Joel
The Wrong Way Series - @romana-after-dark Dark Raider!Joel Featuring Dark Raider!Tommy
Crimson Red Paint On My Lips, Me & The Devil & Marked Me Like A Bloodstain - @pr0ximamidnight Dark MeanSmuggler!Joel
You Can't Trust Anyone These Days - @walkintotheriveranddisappear Dark!Joel Featuring Tess & Raider Group
With Pleasured Hands, Can't Nobody Love You Featuring Tommy Miller & Only Teasing - @magpiepills
I'm The One To Beat - @missredherring Slasher!Joel
Keeping Warm & Can't Take It - @randofantfic
Fate, After All Series - @mandoisapunk
Starving Faithful - @tulipsbymybed Priest!Joel
Joel Miller Masterlist - @ozarkthedog
Close Your Eyes, Pay The Price For Your Paradise - @ozarkthedog Dark!Joel
Sweet Peach Series - @elvinaa BFD!Cowboy Joel
But I'm A Creep - @elvinaa PervyNeighbour!Joel
Confession - @elvinaa Priest!Joel
Dom Pérignon - @jrrmint DBF!Joel
Yes, Father Series - @chloeangelic Priest!Joel
Dirty Cage - @sin-djarin
A Little Discipline - @walkintotheriveranddisappear DarkStepdad!Joel
Closer Series & Pretty Little Wife Series - @beardedjoel
Jet & Ghost - @macfrog
Love's Gonna Get You Killed - @pascalisbaby
Sins Of My Father Series - @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin DBF!Joel
Short Days, Long Nights Series - @frannyzooey
Smut Celebration: Joel & Smut Celebration Joel 2 - @thetriumphantpanda
The Red - @prettykoolkat PlusSize!Reader
Grown Woman - @chloeangelic DBF!Joel
For I Have Sinned - @xanqels DarkCorruptedPriest!Joel
Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Featuring Javier Peña
Dancing With The Devil - @jenispunk DBF!Joel
Blush - @softlyspector
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popcornforone · 2 months
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Rise
A Frankie “Catfish” Morales Fan Fiction
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Well Frankie… sometimes a need just needs a scratch & you were it… so happy Frankie Friday everyone. This is just me getting something out of my system.
Synopsis:- You wake up early & hear a noise… he couldn’t be home could he?
Word count: 2500
Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Pure smut hardly any plot. PIV sex, oral, swearing, cream pie, spitting, chocking, talk of masturbation, rough passionate longing sex, home intruder theme to start, description that might go too far. Yes I was feral I needed an outlet okay?!
Thank as always for the read peoples. All feedback is welcome. I hope you enjoy.
As your 6am alarm goes off you whine, your phone buzzing away & you turn over & try & hit the snooze button.
“10 more minutes” you mumble before burying your head back into your pillow. So soft & warm. You pull the bed sheet up a little because it had slipped while you had slept. Your bare back feeling a little chilled as you’d obviously turned in the night. The temptation in your half sleep to slip your hands between your thighs & have a touch. Usually your morning shower gives you the time you need to self pleasure but every now & then an early wake up might require even more moments.
But then your ears prick up. There’s a buzzing coming from the bathroom. Did you leave the extractor fan on over night? That’s what the noise is. You must have done so you burry your head back into the pillow to get a few more minutes sleep. As your legs stretch you do realise the air is slightly damn. No way you think. You didn’t leave a tap on over night. You’re now concerned & you pay a little more attention to the room in a half haze. Eyes adjusting, not wanting to put a light in incase it’s a burglar or something even worse. There’s always a small baseball bat under your side of your bed, for protection. You slowly lean down & grab the handle, as you glimpse at the door. there is a light on & a small moving shadow. Someone or something is in your bathroom. You make sure your breasts are covered & you bring the baseball bat up to the side of the bed, ready to confront who has broken into your apartment & is in the bathroom.
The door flys open & the room bursts into the bright light of the bathroom & fills with the steam from the room flooding your senses. You squint & make sure a hand is on the bat. But then your hand lowers the bat & you sit there open mouthed, eyes popping out of your skull at the sight in front of you.
Today was the 8th.
You’d completely forgotten, it had been so long.
He’d obviously came home from his mission extremely late & had leapt in the shower so not to wake you in bed at 5am. All the sweat & muck from travelling back washed away & gone. He’s not even wearing his hat. That luscious thick mop of hair has been rubbed maybe twice by a towel which is probably more than his body. Yes he has come out of a steam filled hot small bathroom, but there is a lot of hot water on him. His hairy chest glistening. Those broad shoulders calling out for you. Lips that need a kiss. A beard that needs to graze your skin. Powerful thighs ready to keep you in place. The only issue is how he is holding his towel. He’s not wrapped it around him. He is litrally holding it in place to cover his penis. It’s white & crisp the towel. You can see in the reflection of the mirror his Glorious arse & you can see his tip too as he standing legs slightly apart. Yea your man is that big.
“Frankie!?”
“Morning beautiful” he says. A grin on his face, as he sees you look him up & down, knowing you’re admiring everything. He knows he looks good.
“You… you…you’re back!” You stumble through your words, trying to hold back at the fact that you want him to rail you right now.
“Yep, didn’t get back to base til 3am, sorry if I woke you baby, but I needed to see your face before you leave for work, 42 days has seemed like a life time”
“I’d do the hours minutes & seconds but my brain isn’t computing as I’m still half asleep”you giggle & stretch. The baseball bat is in your hands as you do this, so you can show frankie how prepared you were to take someone on, but he’s not paying attention to that. The bed sheet has just dropped down your body. Your erect nipples are on show & he licks his lips expectantly. His own hand loses grip on his towel & it falls to the floor. You eyes now widen at his penis. Long, meaty, veiny, starting to get excited. A small amount of saliver drips down your chin. You grip the bat as if it was his shaft. “I’m awake now”
“Fuck yeah baby” his hand ruffles through his hair, water still falling from it. He takes a few steps & drags the bed sheet off. His eyes dark at the sight that lays before him. “Rise & shine sexy, time for a morning wake up”
He is big & powerful. He has to be for work but he has you quivering beneath him in seconds. Those tree trunk thigh, still damp from the shower touch your own. You toss the baseball bat on the floor as you pull him down on top of you, hands straight into that thick hair, which he tussels abit again. The water dripping onto your hot body, almost sizzling as it lands.
“I missed you frankie”
“Not as much as I missed you” he licks his big flat thumb, a long slow lick. He smirks as he then takes it, trails it down his body inbetween you both, over your tummy & pelvis. It makes contact with your clit at the exact same second his lips find yours.
You don’t know what it would feel like to kiss a rose, but his lips feel soft & look redder than usual, he’s nipping around the edge of your mouth too. It’s more lots of little kisses, which are the same amount of movements as his thumb pleasuring you. He’s addicted to your moans. He asked you before this mission to leave him some voice notes. He’s got off you to going oooh baby every night for the last 42 days. Now he gets to hear it in person. You missed his touch, his skin, his kisses, his teasing & now you’re about to get all of him.
“Oooh baby”his eyes light up as you say that your hand gripping the bedding already.
“So pent up” he says as he slowly parts your legs. “Did you touch yourslef baby? While I was away?” You nod & go hmm & the gasp as his erect penis slides across your clit. Your hand thats not holding onto the bed squeezes his arse & he moans. “My little Princess couldn’t help herself, but it wasn’t me was it”
“No…”
“No what” he says as he withdraws the feeling of his penis on your clit.
“No my sexy catfish”
“Oooh baby, this will make up for those pathetic…. Oooooh nights”
“Jesus ooooh fuck”
“Oooh god”
You’re talking over each other. Frankies been away longer before, but this morning at 6:15am the stretch of him filling your cunt up has you both concerned your gonna cum instantly. He stalls on his second thrust as you both talk & moan over each other. When it’s one of you this feral it’s easy to control but when it’s both of you there’s not much hope.
“Frankie oooh Frankie” he then kisses you & pushes all the way in. Loud moans come from the kiss from you both, even though your mouths are tied together. Oooh that talented tongue, you know that will make you scream in another way later. His eyes flicker open & make eye contact & he slowly pulls back from the kiss but leaves his penis buried inside you, & by inside he’s balls deep, any further & he’d be in your ribs. Youre filled.
“Sorry baby, I don’t want to cum in 11 seconds” he says & slowly starts to rock in & out taking his time.Hes got an arm wrapped underneath you while the others hand is stroking your body, which is very damp from his residue of shower water.
“Make it last Frankie” he stretches & he somehow goes even deeper. You grab fist fulls of his hair & he starts to move more. A slow pace soon becomes delicious.
“Oooh baby girl, you know I will” he’s got the devil in his eyes, a naughty glint as he finds his rhythm knowing he’s not going to coat your walls straight away. “Fuck�� missed you, missed this cunt” your head is rolling back. “Come let your hand join in the fun baby.” You don’t need to be asked twice. But as your hand goes to start it’s stroking, he snatches & grabs your hand & sucks all of your dainty fingers. You moan at the sensation of that & the way you’re being satisfied as he fucks into you.
“Frankie”
“Gonna taste all of you sexy” & he then lets some saliva drip onto your fingers before letting your hand go. You are glad it’s your hand now, it’s sopping from Frankies exploits but you know just how to rub your nub to make sure you keep going. Frankies own large hands grip into your hip. His face is already straining.
“Fuck oh god”
“You like that sexy”
“Yes Frankie”
“Gonna cum? Gonna be a little slut & show me how much you missed me?” He’s brought up the word slut. The way he always says that word is so deep & always arouses you. Your friction increases your legs opening more. Moans escape you both.
“Oooh I missed the moans”
“Frankie oooh fuck yes yes yesssss” your first orgasm hits. Your body trembling. Your soul feels like it’s left your body. As your mind explodes frankie quickly withdraws & spins you so your on your front, lying flat on the bed, your own cum dripping onto the sheets.He holds your head in place as he lies almost flat on top of you. You didn’t have time to register that he’d withdrawn or complain. He’s back inside your core, his favourite warm soft spot, furvently thrusting again. Your arms stretch out ahead of you onto the pillow. One of his handslock with yours. Your two & his one gripping onto each other & the bed. You whine & moan into the pillow. You then screech as your arse is slapped.
“Frankie fuck Frankie” you can imagine the site of your pussy so sensitive being almost split open each time with his girth length. He’s so large & his pace is blistering. His weight on top of you as you lay face down makes the experience even more pleasurable but your just happy frankie is not only live, but home. Morning sex is a bonus.
“Oooooh yessss fuck” he cries. It almost feels like he’s in your stomach. He’s so deep & he is wrecking your core. Even for Frankies usual lustful approach to sex, this is more than he has done in a long time.
“Oooooh yes yes yes yes ooooh yes oooooohhhhh” you mumble into the pillow. But your not face down for long. A large hand take you by the neck to lift your head up & you grip the bed even more.
“Didnt hear you sexy” Frankie whines. “Be more vocal wake the town up”
“Frankie” the grip tightens.
“More”
“I want more Frankie” slap against your arse
“Slut”
“Fucker”
“Oooh fuck” he grips your neck even more. Your body is still flat beneath him but if he keeps pushing at this rate you’ll be a pretzel against the headboard. Your body jolts with each thrust. You know the face he’s pulling. Because you know how much your face is probably contorting. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he pounds at your body.
“More Frankie fuck ooooh yes”
“God you’re so tight today” another smack. “Missed you & ooooh fuck fuck yea missed this cunt, missed you moan” he grips tighter & uses his fingers to twist your head by then chin so you can see his own face. There’s is his red sweaty exasperated face, teeth grinding just centemiters away. You pant & look up at him your mouth opening, gasping for any air at all.
“You want some?” Its strained his voice & you nod & Frankie spits in your mouth. The sweet taste of his saliva on your lips. You know he does this if he wants you for more than just what he’s getting. You both have needs but sometimes Frankie’s are heightened. “Good girl” his eyes light up. A frenzied kiss is sealed on your lips before he lets go of your neck & pushes your head into the pillow.
Frankie was already going at a pace but this was having you quiver beyond belief. Screaming his name into the pillow. Your orgasm makes your whole body shake as you lie exhausted into the matress. He’s still pulsing away.
“God oh fuck fuck oooooohhh yessssss baby” he screeches, cumming hard, spraying his seed inside you. Your already drenched core filled to the brim, you know there’s gonna be a little bit of a mess when he withdraws. Your head is free from his hand & you raise it from the pillow, both your body’s shuddering as you get the air back into your lungs. You moan as he removes his penis, but then you quiver. Feeling his nose just below your arse as he licks up the essence dripping from your early morning pleasure. Frankie the king of oral. Oooooos escape your mouth but then stop as he rolls to the left of you.
“Fuck baby” he says looking up at the ceiling, his erection still firm. He takes his hand & starts to stroke. It makes his large hands look small. You slowly roll over & start to cress & kiss his chest before resting your head on it.
“Call in sick?” He does his big brown puppy dog eyes at you. It’s not an ask it’s a request.
“I have a presentation today Frankie I can’t just…” his lips find yours.
“Keep work words out of your mouth baby.” He says once you break”I’m home & I want to make up for lost time”
“My presentation isn’t until 2pm, I can work from home” your use air quotes & smirk at him.
“That’s my girl.” He says kissing your forehead. “Save your voice”
“& you think me being with you will save my voice” you roll your eyes. Knowing how vocal you’ve both just been.
“Good point” he laughs.
“I can keep my mouth occupied” you start kissing his chest more.
“Oooh kisses, I have missed them”
“Oooh I was thinking more than kisses Frankie” you’ve reached his happy trail. Your own much smaller hand joining his to encourage his erection.
“Oooh baby”
“Oooh Frankie” it’s not long before your hands are replace by your mouth to make sure you have a taste of this beautiful morning.
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bs-fangirl · 1 year
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Bill walking through Home Depot taking anything he wants for his apocalypse bunker while FEDRA drives away
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daddy-dins-girl · 25 days
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Pedro Boys tasked with buying your period products.
Someone sent an ask about Pedro boys dealing with their girl on their period... Not sure if this is what you had in mind but I hope you enjoy it regardless :)
Also, this is just for silly fun, don't @ me too harshly in the comments please if you don't agree with some of these, but DEFINITELY feel free to tell me where and why your opinion might differ on some of these choices, I'd love to hear it.
like this post? check out my Pedro Boys Alignment Chart Masterlist here
Headcanons under the cut.
Din/Tim/Dave/Ortega/Clint/Max L - Din is mostly just too shy/embarrassed to ask for help, the rest of these guys are too stubborn, too busy and/or aren't terribly comfortable standing around in this aisle any longer than they have to be.
Ezra/Jack - They're just genuinely confused as to why there are so many varieties. Maybe you WILL be playing tennis tomorrow like this girl in the picture on the box, how tf are they supposed to know? Jack's also a bit of a himbo but it's okay, he's pretty.
Marcus M/Oberyn/Frankie/Marcus P/Joel/Javi P - Some of these boys are 'girl dads' and just know the drill by now. Some are just great husbands (or husband material) who pay attention and some, well... some of these boys just know your p*ssy better than you do and that's all there is to it.
Javi G/Eddie/Zach W - They're sweet, and they're trying. They just wanna be good boyfriends. God bless these boys.
Dieter/Pero/Max P/Lucien - Dieter thought it was an honest question. The rest of these guys are just complete menaces (and honestly, we love them for it).
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flightlessangelwings · 2 months
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Could I Have This Kiss Forever?
Joel Miller x fem!reader
Important Note: This blog supports Palestine and does not condone or share the views of the creator of TLOU. Please interact with tlou critically and be aware of the zionistic views of its creator.
Word count-4.5k
Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), Valentine's Day fic, fluff, mutual pining, set in Jackson after the first game/season, reader is a baker/cook, reader can remember life before the outbreak but no age specified, food mention, oral (f receiving), praise, unprotected, soft pleasure dom Joel, squirting, feelings, no use of y/n
Notes- Happy Valentine's Day @saradika I'm your secret Valentine!!! I loved the prompt you gave and the idea came to me almost immediately! And I tried to fit as many things as you mentioned in this as I could! I hope you like it! Enjoy!
@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post new things!
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~
Joel could see his breath as he walked down the street. There was a nip in the air, and it stung his face as the cold hit what little exposed skin he had. Wrapping his jacket a little tighter, Joel huffed as the light layer of snow crunched beneath his feet. It wasn’t unusual for there to be cold and snow in mid February in Jackson, yet the glistening white in the trees always made its residents awestruck. The setting sun illuminated the land in a way that made the surrounding look like a painting. Even Joel had to appreciate the beauty of it all.
It reminded them of a simpler time, a more peaceful time. It reminded everyone of a time before the world collapsed, before there was the daily worry for their lives. Joel used to push those thoughts down. He used to try to ignore the sting of Sarah’s absence. But, the longer he was in Jackson with Tommy and Ellie and others who he would soon call friends, the more he allowed himself to think about his lost daughter and how much she would have loved the snow.
But, a tantalizing smell broke Joel out of his thoughts. As he passed the little building on the corner which had become a bakery slash bar, his thoughts turned to someone else: you.
You brought a new light to Jackson the day you arrived, and Joel was immediately taken with you. From the way your eyes captivated him to the way your smile made his heart flutter in a way no one else did, Joel was a goner from the moment he laid eyes on you. He kept it a secret, though. Life was hard enough as it was, even for those lucky enough to find their way to Jackson.
If Joel only knew you harbored the same secret he did…
Inside the building was the complete opposite of the chilly outside. It was warm and bright and the smells of various cakes and desserts permeated the space as you worked. You actually felt hot enough to shed your outer layers and rolled up your sleeves. You were so focused on the task in front of you that you didn’t hear the door open until a gruff voice cleared his throat.
Jumping up with a gasp, you looked up and locked eyes with… “Joel,” you breathed as you relaxed, “You startled me!”
“Sorry,” he helped his hands up in mock surrender, “I just wanted to check in on ya,” he continued, “It’s gettin’ late and you’re still here workin’ hard.”
“Oh,” you replied in a daze as you noticed the lack of sun from behind where Joel stood in the doorway, “Lost track of time, I guess,” you murmured, “I wanted to finish all these tonight for the big Valentine’s dance tomorrow night so I can enjoy the party too.”
Valentine’s Day… Joel didn’t even realize that was tomorrow. “Want a little help?” he offered, “I ain’t much good in the kitchen, but you can tell me what to do.”
You smirked as your mind ran with the thought of telling big strong Joel what to do, “Go wash your hands and you can help me with these last few cakes.”
“Yes ma’am,” Joel replied with a smirk of his own and both of you felt like the room just got a lot warmer.
Joel shrugged off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his flannel shirt before he went to the sink to wash his hands and made his way back to you. He was positive Ellie would give him a hard time if she caught him like this- working with little sweets and desserts, following your orders instead of taking the lead. But, Joel also found he didn’t mind. He enjoyed the feeling of domestic bliss, even if it was only for this one evening.
“You’re really good at this,” Joel commented as he watched you meticulously decorate the various cakes you spent all afternoon baking.
“Thanks,” your heart fluttered at the compliment from Joel Miller, “I’ve always been creative since I was a kid. I liked making things… art and stuff. I actually wanted to be some kind of artist when I was younger, before…” you trailed off as you stopped and raised your eyes to meet his. 
Both of you froze for a moment as you gazed into the other’s eyes. Time stopped, as did your breathing. The roughness around Joel’s eyes framed the softness that lay hidden there. Scars on his face told you he had been through a lot, but then again so had you. As you looked at him, studying his face, you completely forgot to breathe, losing yourself in his features.
Joel felt himself tense as he stared back at you. The warmth that surrounded him felt like it came from you, not the heat in the room. He wasn’t too good with the whole comforting thing, but Joel wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms and hold you close, protecting you from everything around. Normally, he was good at burying his feelings, but he slipped when his eyes flashed down to your lips for just the briefest moment.
Clearing his throat right away, Joel leaned back, breaking the trance you both were in, “Yeah,” he finally said, filling the silence, “You are an artist that’s for sure. You’re certainly better than me anyway,” he muttered as he held up the messily decorated cake in his hands.
You couldn’t help but burst into laughter, “Joel,” you covered your face with your hands, “I’m sorry, I…” you wheezed as your laughter became uncontrollable.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Joel rolled his eyes. It didn’t bother him though, he knew he had many strengths and even before the outbreak, he couldn’t decorate a cake to save his life. Plus, the sound of your laughter was music to his eyes, and Joel loved to hear it whenever he could.
“Here,” you took a few breaths to gather yourself, “Let me show you a trick.”
You moved over to sit next to him and took the spatula from his hand, brushing it ever so slightly as you did so. A chill ran up your spine at the slight contact, but you swallowed hard and fought to keep your composure.
“You alright, sweetheart?” Joel asked, noticing the slight change in your demeanor. 
“Fine,” you replied back right away, “Here,” you used the spatula to scoop some icing and ran it along the cake, “Just like painting a picture.” 
“Beautiful,” Joel mumbled under his breath, completely ignoring the cake you were decorating. 
Luckily, or unluckily, for Joel, you didn’t notice as you became too enthralled with what you were doing. 
“There!” you sounded triumphant as you put the finishing touches on what cake Joel had worked on, “Ta da!” you held it up with pride and beamed at him for a moment before you set it down and turned to the far table, “Now just a few more to go…”
“I ain’t going nowhere,” Joel said, “As long as you won’t shit on my decorating anymore, I’ll stay and help… If you’ll have me.”
A mix of emotions ran though you. You wanted to laugh at him again for his poor decorating skills, but you also didn’t want him to leave your side. So, biting your lip to stifle a giggle, you replied, “Ok I promise I won’t laugh at you again.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” Joel smirked, sending a wave of heat through your body.
Hours passed and it was well into the night before you and Joel finally finished. You enjoyed his company, and the two of you filled the time shooting the shit while you worked. It took some time, but Joel finally let his guard down around you, and you loved that he trusted you enough to relax. And you trusted him too, and felt safe around him. 
“Well I think that does it,” you sighed heavily as you wiped you face, “That was the last one!”
Joel looked at you with pure admiration on his face, as if he were a lovestruck teenager and the world was normal again. Then as he studied your face closer, he couldn’t help but let out a single soft laugh.
“What is it?” you asked, puzzled.
“Ya got a little…” Before he realized what he was doing, Joel reached out and brushed your face with his hand, wiping a smudge of frosting off your cheek, “There.”
You gasped softly as you stood there stunned, frozen in place as you felt a tingle where Joel touched your skin. Absentmindedly, you touched your cheek with your fingers, relishing in the lingering warmth of his touch.
Joel was about to apologize, but he also found himself in a trance. You just looked so beautiful, and he wasn’t sure what to make of your reaction to his touch.
But, before he could say hating, you broke the silence. “Hey Joel…” you started, suddenly feeling nervous as your skin warmed so much that you were sure the reminanta of the frosting on your face were about to sizzle.
“Yeah?”
“I uhh…” you fumbled over your words, your gaze dropping to the ground as you felt his eyes on you, “Thank you,” you breathed as you looked at Joel again, “I would have been here all night if you weren’t helping me.”
A flash of disappointment showed on Joel’s face before he glanced over your shoulder and noticed the hint of sun in the horizon, “It looks like we still did,” he muttered as he motioned toward the window.
You let out a heavy sigh, “Well fuck I guess we did,” you chuckled nervously, still feeling the lingering tension in the air between the two of you. 
It hung in the air unspoken between the two of you: It’s Valentine’s Day.
You fiddled with your fingers nervously as you weren’t sure what to say. The air suddenly felt thick between the two of you, as if there was so much you both had to say. Yet, neither of you had the courage to break what you already had.
Joel cleared his throat as he closed the gap between your bodies and mumbled your name, “Listen I…” he rested a hand on your shoulder.
“Yes?” you looked at him with a hopeful expression, your lips parted as you breathed heavily.
“I uhh,” Joel stuttered. He scanned your face, taking in every inch of your beauty as the words were right on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”
A brief flash of disappointment showed on your face before you gathered yourself, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Joel,” you replied in a hushed tone.
“Why don’t we go get some sleep before the big party tonight?” he offered, “I’ll put this all away for ya.”
“Yeah, ok,” you sounded distant, “See you tonight then?”
Joel smiled, “I wouldn’t miss it.”
That lifted your spirits, “See you tonight, Joel.” 
*
The Valentine’s Day dance was a huge success, as were your cakes. Everyone made sure to stop and compliment you before they went back to dancing and enjoying their time. Some even asked you for a dance themselves, but you turned them all down. No, there was only one person you wanted to dance with, and he stood on the other end of the room.
“Go on, ask her to dance,” Ellie nudged Joel, “Or are you too fuckin’ scared?” she added with a tease, “Chicken!”
“Ellie,” Joel sighed as he rolled his eyes, “Just stay out of it, alright.”
Knowing when to back down, she raised her hands in surrender, “Alright, alright,” she slid her hands in her pockets and started to walked away before she glanced over her shoulder, “But don’t come crying to me when someone else asks her to dance cause you were too chickshit to.”
“Ellie!” Joel snapped, but she ran off and disappeared into the crowd, presumably to find Dina. Joel knew about Ellie’s little crush on her, but he decided to let her come to him on her own terms about it. He just wanted his kid to be happy after all…
Joel’s thought turned from Ellie to you as he scanned the room and found you again. You had moved slightly, but you still stood at the edge of the crowd, not dancing with anyone. You looked stunning as you found yourself right under a light as if it was a spotlight just for you. Your smile lit up the room as yet another person came up to compliment you, and Joel’s chest tightened as the person was obviously asking you to dance.
“Shit…” he mumbled under his breath, thinking he missed his chance.
But, Joel was surprised to see them walk away with a disappointed look on their face while you stayed in that same spot. You fiddled with your fingers for a moment before you scanned the room and locked eyes with Joel. Freezing in place, your mouth parted to let out a deep exhale.
“Fuck it,” Joel muttered to himself, thinking it was now to never. He crossed the room, greeting his brother on the way before he walked up to you. Joel tried to act calm and smooth to hide the nerves he secretly harbored, “Howdy ma’am,” he nodded his head once in a greeting as you giggled, “May I have this dance?” He extended a hand to you.
“Joel Miller,” you breathed, “I thought you’d never ask,” you grinned as you slid your hand in his. 
You knew he didn’t usually dance, and your heart pounded in your chest as you wondered why he broke his streak. And the warmth of his large hand in yours radiated throughout your body, making you a little dizzy. But, Joel was there to catch you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close as the tune changed to a slower ballad.
Leaning against his sturdy chest, you swayed with Joel to the rhythm of the song. But, you could barely hear it over the pounding of your heart. You barely even heard when Joel said something to you, or said your name when you didn’t respond.
“What?” you blinked as you focused your eyes.
“I said them desserts seem to be a hit,” Joel repeated himself as he adjusted his grip on your body.
“Yeah,” you replied, “Even those messy looking ones,” you smirked.
“Hey you promised,” he quipped back with no malice in his tone and a soft grin on his face.
“I know, I know,” you laughed softly, “I’m sorry. They still taste good though.”
“They do,” Joel’s tone dropped, as did his gaze.
“Joel…” you breathed as you felt the burning heat of his gaze on you.
“Listen, I uhhh,” he murmured your name in a low tone, “I wanna kiss you so fuckin’ bad right now,” the moan you let out went right to Joel’s cock, “But I don’t wanna share ya with all these people.”
Another moan escaped your lips and time felt frozen around you and heat rose from your pussy all throughout your body, “Joel…” you whined his name again as desperation took over you.
Joel leaned in closer to you, his lips hovering over yours as the slow sway of your bodies slowed down. He wanted to kiss you so badly. He wanted this for so long. But, Joel was also secretly a romantic, and he didn’t want his first kiss with you to be witnessed. He wanted to selfishly keep that to himself. So, instead of closing the gap, he murmured in a low tone, “Wanna get out of here?”
“Yes,” you breathed immediately as you pulled away enough to look into his eyes. You gasped softly when you saw the deep need that burned behind his eyes, and you knew exactly what he was thinking. “Let’s go, Joel.” you slipped your hand into his and let him lead you out the door and away from the party and wandering eyes.
From the other side of the room, Ellie grinned widely as she watched the two of you slip away from the party.
*
The moment the door to Joel’s house closed, it was like a flip switched in his head. “Can I kiss you now, baby?” he asked in a low tone as he backed you up against the door.
“You better,” you smirked back as you grabbed his collar, “And call me that again,” you groaned as you bucked your hips against his.
Joel grunted as he grinned against your cheek, “Baby…” his low grumble went right to your core as he took your lips with his in a heated kiss.
His beard tickled your skin as his lips warmed yours. Joel’s strong hands gripped you tightly as he pulled you against his body. You clung to his shirt as his kiss warmed you from the inside while his chest warmed your own as you felt yourself pressed flush against him. Despite the dizzying feeling in your head, you knew you were safe in his arms and that Joel wouldn’t let you fall.
“Shall we take this to the bedroom?” you purred against his lips between kisses. 
“Thought you’d never ask,” Joel smirked back.
You erupted into giggles as Joel yanked you enthusiastically down the hall. Hands roamed all over each other’s bodies as you each tugged at the other’s clothing. Joel closed the gap between your lips over and over again, desperately kissing you between shoving clothes off.
A trail of clothing led the way to Joel’s room until neither of you had anything on. You felt like you were in a whirlwind as you allowed Joel to guide you though his house until your legs hit the edge of his bed. A gasp escaped your lips as you realized where you were, but you quickly gathered yourself. Grabbing his broad shoulders, you flung yourself back onto his bed, both of you exhaling sharply as you landed with Joel on top of you.
“Shit, baby,” Joel muttered as he took a moment to study your naked figure beneath him, “You’re so fuckin’ pretty.”
“So are you, Joel,” you breathed as you cupped his face, burying your hands in his hair.
Joel let out another sharp breath, “Well don’t you know how to make a man feel special?”
“Just like you know how to treat a lady,” you smirked back.
“Oh you ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” Joel’s tone dropped as he dipped his head down and took your lips once more. He swallowed the moan you let out and bucked his hips against yours, relishing the feeling on your skin against his after so many nights imagining this. 
Joel broke away from the kiss to make his way down your neck, licking and nibbling your sensitive skin along the way. Your mouth dropped open as your mind swam in the pleasure that was Joel’s kisses. But, the sensations only heightened when he reached your breast and wrapped his lips around your nipple.
The cry you let out went right to Joel’s cock, and every moan from you only made him need you more. Joel’s tongue swirled around your nipple as he kneaded your other breast with his calloused hand. You arched your back to allow him more access to your body and buried your hand in his hair, tugging slightly every time he sucked at your nipple just a little bit harder.
“Joel… Fuck…” you whined as he kissed his way to your other breast with a low groan and gave it the same treatment. 
He hummed against your skin, rocking his hips against your already soaking wet pussy as he showered you with devotion. As much as Joel wanted to take his time and savor the moment, savor you, his need was too great.
“Shit baby,” Joel breathed as he kissed his way down the front of your body, “You taste to fuckin’ good,” he growled as he eyed your pussy and settled between your parted legs, “But I bet your pussy tastes even better.”
Before you could laugh at his antics, or even appreciate his humor, Joel’s tongue swirled around your clit and licked up and down your folds, shoving every other thought from your body. You cried out in pleasure as your body already trembled under his touch.
“Fuck!” you screamed as you gripped the sheets tightly.
“Fuck me, you do taste good, baby,” Joel groaned as he came up for air for a moment before he dove back into you.
You cried out even louder as you moved your hands to his shoulders for support. Joel growled into you as he hiked one of your legs over his shoulder, opening your body up to him more. Tears filled your eyes as his tongue hit your clit perfectly, and you knew you weren’t going to last.
Especially then Joel pushed two tick fingers inside of you while his tongue contoured tracing patterns on your clit.
“Joel! Fuck!” you screamed, “Yes!”
“You gonna cum for me, baby?” he murmured, his lips hovering over your pussy just for a moment.
“Yes, Joel,” you whimpered, “You’re gonna make he cum if you keep doing that,” your hips bucked on their own as his fingers pumped in and out of you in a steady rhythm.
“Good,” he grinned before he covered your cunt with his lips once more and sucked harder.
The moans you let out echoed in the room as you felt your climax quickly build. Your core tightened as you gasped when his fingers hit that sweet spot inside of you. And before you could warn him, you came hard into Joel’s mouth. You gushed as your body felt like it was floating in the pleasure Joel gave you and you screamed his name loudly as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through your body.
Joel kept going until he heard you whimper, determined to pull every punch of your claim from you and lap up every drop of your release. When he finally broke away, both of you gasped loudly. You flopped down flat, limp from exhaustion, and Joel sat up to admire how beautiful you looked.
“Shit, baby,” Joel groaned, “That was better than them cakes.”
You blinked your eyes open and met Joel’s gaze. The two of you froze for a moment before you burst into laughter, “I never knew you were so funny, Joel.”
He leaned forward, covering your body with his own, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, sugar,” he hummed in amusement as his lips hovered over yours.
“Then I want to learn them all,” you whispered against his lips.
“Me too, baby,” he murmured before he took your lips in a slow kiss.
You moaned into his mouth as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, “Joel,” you breathed, “I need you to fuck me now.”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied with a huff as he positioned himself at your entrance.
Both of you gasped as the tip of his cock poked at your pussy. Joel broke away just enough to watch your face as he slowly started to push in, feeling the warmth of your wetness around him. Your eyes snapped shut as you savored the stretch of his cock as you clawed at his back. Joel tried to keep his own eyes open, not wanting to miss a moment, but you felt too good that he couldn’t help but close them.
Joel mumbled your name as he bottomed out inside you, “Shit you feel so fuckin’ good, sweetehart.”
“Joel…” was all you could say, too lost in the bliss to form any coherent thought.
The bed creaked as Joel started a slow rhythm, rocking himself in and out of you. Once again, your moans filled the room in a beautiful melody as Joel fucked you. Only this time, his own grunts and groans harmonized with yours, creating an all new song.
Heat rose in the room despite the chilly air outside as Joel picked up his pace. Feeling you engulf him made him forget about the ache in his back as he thrust his hips back and forth over and over again. Joel was just as lost in you as you were in him, and he was sure neither of you were going to last much longer.
After so long of wanting you, finally having you almost made Joel cry. He murmured your name over and over again as he mumbled how beautiful you looked on his cock, “So fuckin’ pretty, baby,” he grunted, “Fuck…”
“Fuck… Yes… Joel…” was all you could form as you felt another orgasm quickly approach, “Gonna cum…”
“Show me how pretty you are when you cum on my cock, sweetheart,” he growled as he picked up his pace, his hips slapping against yours as he chased his own climax.
“Fuck!” you screamed as you tightened your grip on Joel and trembled under his body as your second peak hit.
“That’s it baby,” Joel groaned, “That’s my girl,” he gasped as he felt your inner muscles squeeze him tightly.
Your climax triggered his own and with a moan of your name, Joel spilled himself deep inside of you, filling you to the brim. Chills ran up your spine as you felt him cum in you, and you moaned softly as the aftershocks of your own climax pulsed through your body at the same time.
Joel kept his pace as long as he could until he pulled back once last time, pulling out of you, before he collapsed on the bed next to you. You gasped as you felt a sudden emptiness, but Joel immediately wrapped you in his arms and pulled you close.
No words were spoken as the two of you came down from your highs. But this time, it was a comforting silence in the air. The tension from the day before was gone now that the two of you finally showed your true feelings for the other. Joel breathed deeply as he stroked you back comfortingly, and you smiled against his chest as you felt the beat of his heart.
You stayed like that for some time before you broke the silence, “Hey Joel,” you wriggled out of his embrace and straddled him, “Can I ask you something?”
“Shit, lookin’ like that you can have anything you want, baby,” Joel joked as he admired your naked form on top of him.
You grinned back at him as you rested your hands on his chest, “Will you be my Valentine?”
Joel’s face lit up as he grabbed you and yanked you down, crashing your lips together, “Always, baby,” he murmured between kisses. When you broke away for air, Joel gazed lovingly up at you, “Now why don’t you show me how pretty you are when you ride me?”
The moan you let out went right to both of your cores and it began a second sleepless night in a row for you and Joel. But, neither of you would complain at all. 
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cowgurrrl · 5 days
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Roll The Bones
Pairing: Joel Miller x reader
Author’s note: I wrote this in the midst of a flare up so please enjoy and be gentle with your disabled friends <3
Summary: A bad pain day with Joel [1.5k]
Warnings: descriptions of injuries and subsequent chronic pain, medical settings and discussion, I think that’s it??
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When Joel finds you, you're in a pitiful state. Your arm is folded over your face, covering your eyes even though the blinds are closed and the room is dark. Your right leg is peeking out from under the bundle of blankets and quilt, elevated with a lukewarm towel surrounding the swelling kneecap. The room smells like the salve someone in the town makes that's supposed to alleviate your pain. So far, it's just given you a headache. Your entire body throbs with pain and frustration. It shouldn't be like this, you think ruefully. I shouldn't feel like this. 
Joel lightly pads over to your bedside— his footsteps quiet now that he's discarded his boots by the front door— and perches next to you. His hand finds a home on your afflicted knee and carefully maneuvers his thumb over the tendons to help with the pain. You shift the arm covering your face to reach for him, and he smiles. 
"There she is," he murmurs as you take him in. His hair is long and a little unruly in the back, but you think it makes him look soft and domestic. He's shed his work jacket and heavier clothes downstairs and is clad in his soft, well-worn-in flannel. He smells like pine and leather. You want to wrap yourself in his warmth but settle for having him nearby. "Ellie told me you were havin' a rough day." He says. It doesn't surprise you that she did, even though you promised her you were fine and didn't need him. It's become rare that she doesn't update him daily on your health.
About a year ago, you were on patrol with Tommy when a Runner came out of nowhere and charged at your horse. She startled and bucked you off before you could regain control of the reins. The Runner was dead before you could hit the ground, and your horse would be recovered within the day, but the damage was done. You broke your leg in two places and dislocated your knee, in addition to a low-level concussion and cuts on your face and arms. When you came back into Jackson on Tommy's horse, half-conscious, bloody, and delirious with pain, Joel was horrified, Ellie even more so.
You were in the hospital for a month as they used what they could to put you in something akin to a cast and reset the bones. Joel and Ellie took turns being guards at your bed, monitoring what they gave you, when, and how much, and how your healing process was going. They were there with you every day, learning the tips and tricks to support you and keeping you sane as you stared at the white walls. 
Six months, the doctor said. Six months is all it would take to be back to normal as long as you did everything you were supposed to. Things have gotten better slower than you would like, but they have gotten better. You have really good days where you don't feel anything other than slight twinges when you move your leg in a weird way. Those days, it's hard to remember that you broke it in the first place. But other days, like today, you can feel every muscle in your leg tightening as stiff pain rockets up and down your body. You thought you could persevere enough to go to the store with Ellie, but your body obviously had other plans.
"My leg gave out on me when I was coming down the stairs. Pretty sure I made the whole house shake when I fell." You explain, and his eyebrows knit together in phantom pain as his thumb works your muscle. 
"You hurt anythin'?" He asks. "Other than your pride?" You blow air out of your nose in a half-laugh and shake your head. 
"Just some bruises," you say. He finds a tender spot in your knee that makes you hiss and ball up your fists, but he doesn't let up until the muscle releases. It's what he's supposed to do: break up the scar tissue, relax the muscles, and hope for the best. It still hurts like a bitch, and it'll hurt more in the morning. He mumbles apologies under his breath and kisses you to try and distract you, but your brain's been running wild for hours. "I went so long without any pain." You finally say, breaking the reverie and collapsing the unwanted space your pain often creates. 
"You've been takin' on a lot these past few weeks. It doesn't surprise me somethin' would flare up." It's an honest assessment. He warned you this would happen, but you ignored him. You thought you knew your body better. You wanted to know your body better. The returning thought and the gentle hand on your knee turn your tongue into sandpaper, and tears prick in the corners of your eyes. Despite the low light in the room, Joel catches it and makes a sympathetic noise. 
"Hey, talk to me." He says softly, shifting his hand from your knee to your face to catch a few stray tears. You shake your head and try and fail to form the words. Joel is patient. He always is, but he shouldn't have to be. 
"I'm so tired of being like this." You whisper, hating the feel of the words on your tongue and hating the sound of them even more. Joel gives you a confused look and pushes your hair out of your face. 
"Bein' like what?"
"Sick," you choke out. Now that the dam is broken, there's no stopping the bitter rush of words from leaving you. "We took her across the country and got rid of anyone who even looked at her wrong. Now, I can't even get on a horse without hurting. And I do all the stupid fucking things the doctor tells me to do. I do the exercises and take the medicine and everything, and nothing is making it better, and I'm so tired." 
"Why didn't you tell me that?" 
"Because I didn't want you to think I'm broken." It's a thought you've harbored since you were laid up in the hospital, unable to even walk to the bathroom without help, but this is the first time you've expressed it. You secretly hoped if you just didn't say anything about it, maybe Joel wouldn't notice. It's a stupid idea, given that your entire lives have changed since the accident. You just didn't want to get thrown away like all the other broken things in this world. Joel takes a deep breath and gazes at you. 
"Honey, you aren't broken. Not even close to it," he says. You want to counter him, but the weight of your emotion is too heavy on your chest. "I wanna know if somethin' is hurtin' you cause when you hurt, I hurt, okay? You're not a burden or somethin' to fix. You just… need a little extra care right now, and that's okay. I wanna take care of you."
"What if it's like this forever?" You ask, and he shakes his head. 
"It won't be."
"But, what if it is?" More tears fill your eyes as you await his answer. He didn't fall in love with this version of you. You don't know if you could blame him if he never does. But with enough ease and love to take your breath away, Joel kisses your forehead, right where your temple smacked against the cold ground. He kisses your forehead and the white scars littering your cheeks before finally shifting to kiss the knee propped up on pillows and hope. He doesn't flinch at the swelling or the angry spasms. He treats them with care and attention. He treats them as another part of you. 
"Takin' care of you has never and will never be on the list of worst things imaginable. Your health is not a sacrifice or a burden on me. If it's like this forever, we'll adapt, but I know you. I know how hard you're workin' to get better. I know we'll find a way to live with this," he says. "But I need you to talk to me when things aren't workin'. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's helpin' and what's not, okay?" You swallow around the lump in your throat and nod. 
"Okay." 
"Okay," he echoes. "I'm gonna get you an appointment with Dr. Lutton and see if we can't get you on a new treatment plan first thing tomorrow mornin'. Is there anythin' I can do for you until then?" He asks, fully prepared to go to the edge of the earth if you asked him to. 
"Can you lay with me?" You ask, and he smiles. 
"Of course, baby." He mumbles. He kisses your knee one more time before shuffling to wrap you in his arms. The warmth from his body helps relieve some of your tension and pain, and he kneads calming circles over your shoulders and back. Your focus shifts from the pain in your leg to the song he's humming, the vibrations in his chest a welcome distraction. The pain doesn't go away entirely— you doubt it ever will— but you rest your weary body against his and sleep, finding wholeness in his acceptance of your loss. 
TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01 @acupofhollie
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What? Sorry, I was just thinking about that thing Pedro Pascal does with his eyes that makes him look, like, infinitely more scary than he normally does. You know, like-
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Or
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Or some of
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Or even
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You know.
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scrambledslut · 11 months
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makes me so eepy
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