#they knew what they were doing when they casted pedro as joel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

josephquinnswhore · 1 year

Note

Hello

I’ve had this idea for a while :}

What if reader and Pedro had a la la land moment when they break up and then reunir two years later at an awards show and realize they still have feelings for each other

Like right person wrong time :>

Finding Our Way Back

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x female reader.

Summary: you and Pedro rekindle your relationship after seeing him at an award show, it’s been two years since you’ve separated and he looks better than ever.

Word Count: 3.7k

Content Warning: allusions to reader that worked in a shit workplace, fluff.

Note: thanks so much for requesting. Thought I’d do the MTV awards since he’s nominated and I’ve already written about Pedro at the Oscars! I hope you love it 🫶🏼

As an interviewer for Vanity Fair, you knew it was highly likely that you’d run into your ex boyfriend, Pedro Pascal at the MTV awards as he was nominated with Bella Ramsay in the category “best duo,” after his latest role as Joel Miller. Although things had ended amicably on both ends, it had been two years ago since you split; your maturity, respect and the love you still had for him played a part in that clean break. You wanted to beg for him to stay with you, to try and make things work; but he was having a big breakthrough in his career and you couldn’t be selfish with him, after decades of his hard work to get to where he is now, so you let go. After years of smaller roles, despite you reassuring him he was incredible in all roles he played, he knew this one would change his life, working on a project with his idol Nick Cage.

Funnily enough, being in this situation was how you met. You standing at an event in a dress that was too tight and itchy on your skin, waiting to interview the nominees for this award show. Although all those years ago you didn’t work for such a well known, respected company as VF.

You worked for a small company called For You Entertainment, they were working their way up the ladder attending small events with D-List celebrities when your producer thankfully got you a breakthrough, an interview with the cast of Narcos at the end of season 2 premiere. You were nervous and fidgeting with your lilac sequin dress that was so tight you were cursing your stylist internally for making you wear clothing that was a size too small for your waist. Your lungs felt heavy as they couldn’t inhale fully, the feeling of being claustrophobic in your own skin was dizzying, along with the sweatiness of your hands and the bright light from your film crew, it was all too much. A staff member from the event, led Pedro to you and you knew you were screwed, the knowing look in those chocolate brown eyes, he knew how anxious you were feeling, he read you instantly. Your co-workers were ready to begin filming when Pedro held his hand up, signalling for the men to stop momentarily, and they did.

“Hey, I’m Pedro. It’s so nice to meet you…”

His hand meets your own as you introduce yourself, he catches the wobble in your voice as your confidence plummets to the ground beneath your heels. He offers a kind smile and you’re enamoured by how kind he’s being, how gentle and attentive he is; he was doing whatever he could to make you comfortable.

“Are you okay?”

You let out a shaky breath and huff out a small laugh,

“this is my first ever interview with like, a real celebrity and you’re my celebrity crush. Plus this dress is a size too small which they picked on purpose, something about making my boobs perkier.”

The speed at which your mouth rambles leaves your brain unable to comprehend the words that leave them for a few seconds, the moment you register what you say your eyes are wide and Pedro is laughing sweetly.

“It’s a pleasure to be here with you, don’t be nervous, I think you look stunning. You can do this, I’m here to help you make things go smoothly! Shall we?”

How wrong he was, he wasn’t just like any other guy, that’s what drew you in, he sucked you into his orbit, the gravity holding you down to him. Alas, you agree to start the interview. Your nerves somewhat shaken and cheeks a deep shade of red, along with a tingle of heat on your face you’d never experienced prior to Pedro’s flattery.

“Let’s do this.”

You bare a shy grin and give the camera man a thumbs up as they prepare to start the interview.

There was nothing wrong with your relationship with Pedro. It had just seemed like the relationship had run it’s course through the years. You were studying and working full time, 60 hours a week you were in a chokehold of being underpaid and overworked, being younger, new to the industry and vulnerable, you let your boss expose you to the cruelty of the profession when you had several employees that treated you like a doormat. Pedro had always insisted he hated how much you worked for them; how terribly they treated you and crushed your potential within months, that you could achieve more.

Pedro has just gotten a main role in “the unbearable weight of massive talent” when things fell apart, he was incredibly hard working and committed to his work life, the man that was practically married to his career left you in a position of what felt like roommates more than actual lovers. The conversation was hard and you almost didn’t go through with it; you knew you’d regret it but it was necessary, you couldn’t live like this anymore. You missed the intimacy and the connection, feeling like you were in a loveless relationship even though you loved him endlessly.

He had gotten home from a long day of filming, body slumped as he walked through the door, hours and hours on end of filming had him exhausted, he was surprised to see you sitting on the couch with the light and tv on when he walked through the front door.

“Hey, you’re up?”

The confusion in his voice was evident and you inhaled a shaky breath, turning to face him, you nearly backed out of your plan like a coward. Instead you invite him to sit next to you.

“Yeah, we need to talk, will you come sit?”

Pedro’s thick eyebrows are pinched in a frown, looking his age when the wrinkles in his face become evident. The lounge dips as he sits next to you, his large hand on your knee as his brown eyes watch you.

“Is everything okay?”

His voice is cautious and you just exhale, not questioning your own judgment.

“I think it would be in both our favours if we part ways, I’d prefer if we could do this amicably and still be friends afterwards. There’s no connection or intimacy anymore, we’re both too busy. Maybe if,” you sigh loudly unable to find the courage to finish the sentence. Luckily, Pedro knows what you’re thinking.

“If we were at a different stage in life, right?”

He finishes the thought in your head and you nod, fat tears falling down your face, his arms are quick to pull you into a hug, your head rests on his shoulder and he kisses the back of your head.

“I still love you, maybe things will work out for us one day, hm?”

You chuckle, the noise wet as you choke back your tears, “that would be a dream wouldn’t it?”

Having worked for Vanity Fair for the past 12 months, you had met some well known A-list celebrities, some in which would be here tonight at the mtv awards, some people attending not as well known but still nonetheless attending and perfectly deserving of your attention. Your black cocktail dress hugged your figure perfectly, hair pulled upward and styled neatly. Your faces natural beauty was accentuated by the light make up that had been carefully applied by the companies make up artist. The shades of pink and gold on your eyelids were glistening in the lights that shone a bright white overhead as you stood in the middle of the walkway right before the entry to the building where the awards were being held.

Your manager had warned you sympathetically that Pedro was one person you’d be interviewing, it didn’t take much reassuring on your behalf to assure her that although and and Pedro hadn’t really spoken since you broke up; besides the yearly birthday messages and him liking your Instagram posts, that things were okay between you and you were happy to interview him.

When you see him, he’s looking as handsome as ever. His brown hair had a few greying strands on the side of his head near his temples. The purple suit he wears clings to his body and he wears it with finesse, the grapefruit colour makes his skin look its glowing in a golden light, the suit hangs off his broad shoulders with no room to spare. A small heart-shaped patch in his black and grey beard was still failing to fill with hair on the left side of his face. He smiles so widely when he sees you, quickening his casual pace to a speed walk to bump his body into yours, wrapping his strong arms around you to pull you into a hug, his big muscles bulging against your dress-clad skin. You accept the hug and pull him into you, squeezing him as your arms wrap around the back of his neck, the cologne he wears compliments the natural musk of him that you recognise and miss so dearly.

You fight the urge to look at his plump lips a second time, the shade of pink whispered sweet words to draw you into him like a hypnotist, threatening you to kiss him against your will. He pulls back and stands tall next to you, he towers over you, even in your 3 inch heels.

“Pedro Pascal, what a warm welcome. Thank you so much for joining us this evening.” You greet warmly, holding the microphone between the small gap between your bodies, he misses the redness on your cheeks as he grins so widely his dimple exposes itself.

“Thank you for having me, it’s so great to be here, and it’s so great to see you, look at you, you’re looking stunning this evening.” He stands a little too close to you than he does anyone else that’s trying to get an interview from him, his fondness of you showing through the camera that records you.

“You always were a charmer weren’t you. This suit is incredible, you’re looking dapper tonight.” Your free hand that isn’t holding the mic gently runs a hand down his suit, keeping your hand on his chest, getting a feel for the material. You grin at the redness of his cheeks before getting to what the fans really want.

“Now, there is something your fans are begging me to address. As the self proclaimed biggest daddy on the internet, are your fans all your children?” Pedro laughs, the sound is ringing in your ears like the most delightful song you’ve ever heard. He takes the microphone from you and turns to the camera, “yes, you are all my children. I will warn you, grogu may get a little jealous.”

“That’s so sweet, why do you think you chose these roles that have you as basically a father figure?” You muse, eyes batting unintentionally as you’re drawn into his charming character. “I mean, truthfully I would love to have kids someday. Since that’s not an option right now I’m opting for the role of playing dad.” Your heart starts racing, both in awe and disappointment, knowing you would never be the one to bare his children, as his girlfriend or wife, you had missed your opportunity years ago.

“Now we do have a question that a lot of people are begging us to ask you and who are we to deny them?Does Joel Miller in the tv series meet the same fate as the game?” Pedro bares his teeth in a grimace and looks directly into the camera. “It’s going to be almost exactly the same, sorry kids.” He shrugs casually before turning back to you.

“Well Pedro it’s been such a delight to talk with you this evening, we’re wishing you and Bella the best to win an award, have a wonderful evening!” Pedros hands cross in front of his torso, fumbling with the silver ring that sits on his pinky. “Of course it’s amazing to see you. Thank you, have a great night.” He waves to you sweetly as he walks off with a staff member that’s leading him into the building. You stop filming and let out a big sigh.

“How are you feeling?” Your cameraman Andrew asks, “I’m okay, just feels like an open wound still, I guess.” He offers a sympathetic smile, “you did great. That was an awesome interview, everyone’s going to love it. Your chemistry is off the charts.”

You silently agree. The chemistry was still there, maybe you should just, text him later as a “it was so good to see you” curtesy text. Regardless of how terrible he was at texting, it would show you made an effort.

It’s been hours since you saw and spoke to Pedro, his image ingrained in your brain every time you close your eyes, where you’re normally met with blackness this night you’re met with his smile, the smell of his natural musk, the scent of his cologne lingered on your own skin as if he lie next to you. The heaviness of his hands as he hugged you felt as if he was still touching you, it made you restless. You were struggling to sleep even when the streets below your apartment began turning off their lights, one by one you seemed to be the only one wide awake in the neighbourhood.

11:28pm. After changing your mind about half a dozen times on what to write, you settle on something kind and friendly, and you send the text: “it was so good to see you tonight, you look great.”

To your surprise it’s barely a minute before he replies: “it was such a pleasure to see you, can I ask you something?”

Your heart is racing as you can barely think about what he could possibly ask, you assure him: “of course, anything.”

The bubble comes up as if he’s typing, then disappears. You grown as you watch him type and delete this message before it finally comes through after a few minutes: “going to bed anytime soon?”

You raise an eyebrow to yourself and whisper, “seriously that’s what took you so long?” And reply to him: “nope, wide awake.”

“Want some company? I can bring coffee.” You rub your eyes in disbelief, wondering if this is real or an illusion.

“Please do. You know how I like it.” You send through your address as you’ve moved to a newer and slightly bigger apartment in the last year. “Be there soon.” He replies without a moments notice.

“Shit.” You mutter to yourself as you rush to the bathroom, attempting to make yourself look presentable, brushing your hair down neatly before braiding it, smoothing out your pyjamas and turning on some lights in the living room as you turn on the tv to Disney Plus turning on Moana as you attempt to sit comfortably.

There’s a soft knock at the door and you get an alert on your phone that someone’s outside, you check your phone, seeing Pedro standing in black pants, a white shirt and a large black trench-coat, a cardboard cup holder in hand with two Starbucks coffees occupying the space. You smooth out your pyjamas once again and unlock the two locks to your front door, feeling winded as you see your ex boyfriend standing there looking as beautiful as ever with a shy smile on his face.

You open the door and step to the side, “please, come in.” He shudders slightly from the breeze that drafts in from outside, your house abnormally warm and the feeling is welcome on his cold skin. “You have a nice place here. How long ago did you move in?” You take the coffees and sit them down in the cup holders in your lounge as he takes off his trench-coat, the atmosphere too warm for the accessory. “Coming up 12 months now. Right after I started working for Vanity Fair.”

You gesture for Pedro to sit on the lounge after he hands his coat on the coat hanger by the door, he keeps a respectable space between you, unlike earlier in the evening where he stood entirely too close. “Moana always was your favourite.” Pedro muses to himself. “Somethings never change.” You reply with a shrug, the statement having a double meaning behind it.

“Yeah, I guess. What’s new in your life anyway. Other than work and all the formalities?” He questions, the hopeful look in his eye beams as you sink comfortably into the grey couch, “nothing really, I’m quite boring these days. The same girl you know.” You sip your coffee and hum in contentment, missing the way Pedro whispered “and love.” After your statement, “thanks so much for the coffee, it’s perfect. It’s any wonder you still remember,” you admit.

“How could I forget my girls coffee order?” Pedro freezes, realisation of what he said sinks in. “I mean, I meant- I didn’t..” he stutters and you rest your hand on his, trying to diffuse his panicked state. “It’s okay, I’ve missed you you know. Seeing you tonight made me realise how much I never got over you.” The admission has both of your skin burning with desire and slight embarrassment. “You feel that way?” His voice is sweet, you wish he would just talk to you all night, you’d simply sit and listen.

“Of course I do. I’ve always loved you Pedro.” Just like that the bomb has dropped, the elephant in the room is too large and suffocating to ignore, you still love him, years later you still love him.

“I’ve been needing to hear that for such a long time. I love you, I was a fool to let you go,” you lean into the warmth of Pedro’s hand as he caresses your face, your heart rate spiking at his touch and confession. “We can always just.. pick up where we left off,” you offer sweetly. Pedro’s eyes raise at your offer, the ball was in his court and he was going to take it. Without another word he pulls you into him, your lips smashing into his, moulding together like two unique puzzle pieces that were made for each other.

You part your lips and grant him access to deepen the kiss, years of unspoken love and missing each other all came to surface with this kiss. When you pull apart you’re both heaving, foreheads pressed together you stare into his chocolate orbs. “Please be mine. I don’t think I could go another day knowing you’re not mine.” You exhale a shaky breath, the taste of him still on your lips, “I was always yours Pedro. We just had to find out way back.” Pedro’s thumb strokes your cheek and let’s put a small laugh, almost in relief. “I’m grateful we did. Everything feels right again.”

You nod as you silently agree with him, the hole left empty now felt overfilled, you knew your cup would never be empty again with Pedro by your side again, “stay the night.” Your nose grazes his cheek as you whisper. He pulls you into his lap, strong arms holding you in place as he kisses your shoulder. “When have I ever been able to say no to you?”

“I’ll teach you how to stop being such a people pleaser one day you know.” You jest lightly. “As long as I have you, none of that even matters, baby.” You turn to kiss him, the intoxicating sweetness of his lips is almost impossible to pull away from. “You’ll always have me. Promise.” A few moments of silence pass before you ask, “did you win the award?” Pedro hums before he realises what you’ve said, pulling his eyes away from the tv, “yeah we did, Bella was stoked, it was such a big moment for them.” You lean into his chest, smiling in content with how perfectly things were falling into place.

#Pedro pascal #mtv awards #Pedro pascal as Joel miller #Pedro pascal x you #Pedro pascal x reader #Pedro pascal x fem reader #Pedro pascal rpf #Pedro pascal x ex girlfriend #right person wrong time #Pedro pascal x interviewer reader

557 notes · View notes

morganas-pendragons · 1 year

Text

Haven’t We Given Enough? | Joel Miller

Okay, so hear me out. I've known about this game for years but have been exclusively an Xbox kid since like 2004 so I've never had the opportunity to play it. I heard Pedro was cast as Joel and I was shocked that I actually knew the actors playing Joel and Ellie. Saw the trailer, watched the entire first game gameplay, and now I'm here.

Whoops.

I will say this though: I'm really bothered that I could find like nothing but hardcore smut in the tag for this character. I aim to change that. Enjoy some hurt/comfort!

@ironmandeficiency

This is meant for a fem!reader. There are themes of past pregnancy in this that may come back into play later (reader had and lost a child) so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable, read at your own risk.

***

It’s remarkable how similar he is to the very thing you’ve thought him to be since you met. While Ellie is like a summer fire burning across empty, barren fields, Joel is the vengeful, unrelenting snow storm that threatens to pull you apart.

He becomes increasingly good at it the longer you know him. Those dexterous, strong fingers wrap around the rungs of your ribs and pull them apart until the fragile beating thing you call a heart is exposed.

That fragile beating thing has simply endured too much. It’s endured heartbreak, and loss, and pain, and it’s somehow still keeping you alive despite having lived through the beginning of the Outbreak and twenty years into it.

Sheer determination has kept you alive. Not love, not your little sister, just a culmination of all the things you’ve endured that have turned into anger.

It’s not like his anger though. Yours is calm. Methodical. Purposeful.

Joel Miller’s anger is exactly like him: Vengeful, unrelenting, terrifying. It’s only once you meet that your anger begins to temper down into something he has never quite known. Not in this life anyway.

Gentless. Compassion.

Peace.

And well, Joel Miller finds that the longer he knows you, the more he aches to learn what that really means.

It’s weird. You know it’s a weird habit, but you’ve been doing it since you were a little girl and have a difficult time not falling back into old habits. People have often accused you of being aloof. Bashful.

At the very least, people-watching is resourceful and educational. It really teaches you about what to expect from the ones you don’t quite know yet.

People watching was how you found yourself drawn to Joel Miller.

It started whenever Marlene sent Tess and Joel to smuggle the two of you out of the city. You were Ellie’s older sister - born before the Outbreak, almost fifteen years her senior - and her solely remaining blood family since your parents deaths. Your mother’s dying wish had been whispered into your ear with her final breath: Look after your sister.

So you did.

“I will be damned if you even think I’m not going to follow that girl,” You snarled, jabbing your thumb into Marlene’s chest. “That’s my sister. My blood. My promise. You will not take that away from me.”

The Boston QZ was, as to be expected, a literal hell. The only way that you and Ellie were going to survive was if you joined the ranks of the Fireflies. You did. You did, and it ruined you. Any remaining semblance of innocence that you had died years before.

You didn’t want to think about that. It was past, it was gone, just like that part of who you’d been at that point.

All gone. Just like the rest of the world.

Marlene knew better then to argue with a Williams. Where you lacked, Ellie made up for it. It was comical how a fourteen year old girl, in certain situations, had more diplomacy then you did.

She was the one who talked when Joel came into the room for the first time.

“Be careful with that one,” You warned afterward. Marlene snorted as both Williams sisters simultaneously crossed their arms over their chests and leaned into the counter as Joel left the room to confer with his partner. “He’s a storm.”

Ellie knew of your comparisons. She knew of your uncanny ability to read people, to see people, and she’d never doubted you. Not once.

“Funny. First time you told me this, you said I was a fire. If he’s a storm...” She nudged her head uncertainly in the direction Joel had left in. “Then what kind of storm is he?”

Your eyes flutter closed. You’d been able to gauge a lot just from those few minutes of conversation. “Winter,” You reply quietly. “One of those blizzards we got caught in the winter you turned four. Mom and Dad had us hunker down. We didn’t leave the bank we were in for well over a week. Stayed in the safe.” You pause. “If we had even threatened to step into that storm, we would’ve been obliterated. That’s the kind of storm Joel is. Unyielding, vengeful.”

“Your comparisons never fail to amaze me, kid,” Marlene commented. “You’re right on the nose. Watch out for Joel Miller.”

He’s nothing if not ruthless.

***

For the first couple of months you’re forced to travel across the country with Joel, you hate him. You hate how dismissive he is of you and you hate how he continues to act like dragging Ellie to the Fireflies who will then make the cure is the worst inconvenience he can possibly experience.

You hate him. You hate him so much because he seems to be able to see right through you. No one has done that since-

Not since him.

Ellie knows who he is. Joel doesn’t. He doesn’t ask why you sometimes wake up with a cry bubbling in the back of your throat, or why your hands always subconsciously drift toward your ring finger when there’s nothing there.

He also doesn’t ask why your hand is almost always lingering on your stomach when he sees you through the cracks in the doors of the rooms you and Ellie sleep in.

He doesn’t ask.

So you don’t tell.

***

You remember the first time he ever saved you from a clicker on your way through Pittsburgh with Joel, Henry, Ellie and Sam. It’s another one of those instances where you can recall things most other people can't: the details people cannot be bothered to remember.

The smell of the tunnel. Damp. Dark. The smell of infected wafting through your nose, a familiar smell now just like the burnt bodies you so often found permeating the air in the QZ.

The click of the shotgun. The desperate shout of Joel’s voice as he tackled that creature to the ground before firing once, twice, three times into its face while you struggled to regain your breath.

The way that, afterward, he’d tossed the gun into Ellie’s arms to take your own into his hands and survey your skin for bites.

“You good, darlin’?” He’d asked, and your brain short-circuited because this was not the same man who'd spent the last several weeks showing you and your sister nothing but utter disdain and contempt.

“Yeah, yeah... I’m good.” You murmur. “Thanks Joel.”

The most memorable part of that particular day - aside from the sunlight and the way it reflected just right against the grey and white of Joel’s hair and his eyes - was the way you had learned that, underneath the rough exterior, he had the same bleeding heart you did.

***

Jackson is nice. It’s clearly the beginnings of what’s meant to become a larger, thriving civilization somewhere down the line, but it’s the first place you’ve been in the last twenty years that feels calm.

Joel’s entire demeanor changes upon arrival, and it’s not until the gates open that you realize why: The man who steps through - and is clearly one of the few in charge - bears a remarkable resemblance to him.

You and Ellie later find out that it’s Tommy. His younger brother.

The details of that newly made memory are astonishingly clear: The curve of Joel’s smile, the feeling of the sunlight, the laughter that echoes as the three of you are led inside.

For once in the last two decades, you have finally met someone who doesn’t have malicious intent.

“So who’s the older girl, Joel?”

“Kid’s sister,” Joel replied curtly. “That’s it.”

Tommy clucked his tongue and shook his head as they entered the water plant. “I know you better then that,” He argued. “Way you look at her? Not just her sister. You’ll figure it out sooner than later even though that thick skull of yours.”

The plant is attacked by the bandits who have been trying to infiltrate the compound for the last couple of months. Your illusion of peace is shattered as you again are forced to take, take, take, until there’s nothing left but bodies to deal with.

That’s when you find out Ellie is gone. You find out Ellie is gone and for the first time in quite a while, you are properly afraid.

And fear fuels you. Just like anger.

Joel knows anger, but he doesn’t know your anger until he has the gall to tell your little sister she doesn’t know what loss is. It’s unfortunate you manage to hear the entire conversation through the bedroom door while staking out the house to ensure you’re in the clear.

She’d run away from Jackson. Why, you don’t know, but you had been more panic then anything else because it was the first time Ellie had ever attempted to do something like that.

You really just wanted to know her reasoning.

“What do you want from me?!” Joel snaps, harsh and sharp, as he storms deeper into the room.

“Admit that you wanted to get rid of me the whole time! Admit that my sister has been nothing but an inconvenience to you and you’ve felt burdened by us both!”

You can’t see Joel’s face. You can’t see his face, but you see the way his body reacts to that statement. He’s trying really hard to keep himself under control. It’s admirable.

They argue for what feels like years. Ellie calls him out, again and again, only to be stonewalled by Joel’s incessant need to keep everyone at arms length and provide as little information about himself and his feelings as possible.

What causes you to storm into the room is the statement that makes the whole world grind to a stop.

“I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel... but I have lost people too.”

“You have no idea what loss is.”

Ellie’s entire aspect shifts into something akin to both horror and shock as you storm into the room, fury radiating from your features, to only then whip Joel Miller around and slap him in the face.

Your handprint burns against his cheek as he stares at you slack jawed, raising his own hand to cradle him jaw. Joel’s seen you do a lot of things. He’s seen you kill, and he’s seen you comfort, but he’s never bore witness to the heart of the storm itself.

He immediately regrets provoking the argument now.

“El,” You say quietly, fury dripping from your words as you grip his shirt with tight fingers. “Go downstairs and join Tommy. Now.”

Ellie doesn’t argue. She never has because she knows better. With a curt nod, your little sister evacuates the room like a flood has just fallen upon it to leave you - the gentle storm versus the vengeful one - alone with Joel.

“Sunshine-”

“Don’t.” You snarl. “Don’t you dare. You don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to telling her she doesn’t know what loss is, you sanctimonious egotistical-” Your hands pound against his chest, once, twice, three times. Every hit makes you just a little more tired. “We all know what loss is, Joel! You’re not the only one who’s had to deal with the funerals!”

Funerals.

Huh.

Snatching your hands with his own, Joel’s response is quiet and extremely unnerving as he murmurs, “We didn’t have funerals. We just burned them.”

You don’t have time to reply. There’s people in the house, and you’re left to slip back into your mask as you remove your gun from its holster and flick the safety off.

You don’t spare Joel a second glance.

***

It’s another dead end. Another dead end full of questions and no answers that leave you asking more that no one seems to be able to give you. There might be nothing here but bodies and unanswered questions, but it does give you one thing that makes it memorable.

The way that Ellie has smiled more now than she has since your parents and Riley died. You don’t try to intervene, to make yourself apart of what are undoubtedly her memories to carry, so you watch.

It’s enough.

It’s pretty straight forward into the University - nothing, nothing, and more nothing - until you’re ambushed by another group that has you and Joel fighting hand to hand for the first time in a while.

You’ve only just managed to incapacitate yours when a resounding crash sounds from outside, and you just barely see the telltale salt-and-pepper hair go careening over the edge of the balcony.

Seeing Joel like that.. That’s the second time you’ve known the same fear in such a short amount of time: Fear of loss.

There’s me, the fool with the slow heart who dared to think I could love someone else again.

***

The storms feels like it’s dwindling now. Like it’s simply the kind you get in the early hours of the morning in December, where the clouds are thick and gray and cover the entire sky as snow slowly falls to stick upon the chilled earth.

Joel Miller has been this unyielding, fierce storm that threatens to tear everything apart from the moment you met him in Boston. He’s cold. Calculating. Sharp. You’ve seen what he’s capable of - and reacted quite violently the first time, you hadn’t realized the human body held that much blood - and have experienced the ramifications of what such things can do.

The nightmares, the abrasiveness, the need to push everyone away because it’s simply easier than allowing yourself to love something that death can touch.

You’ve always known Joel to be a storm, but since Ellie - and you, though you just don’t know it yet - have wormed into his heart, the storm has dwindled. It’s gentler. Softer. More willing to listen to reason, to fight for something other then himself.

The rough exterior that turns so many people away is slowly giving to show who’s under the surface.

You were almost positive that your heart was going to give out when you watched Joel fall from Ellie’s horse. You’d barely been able to do anything about the wound he’d obtained from the rebar at the university, using what meager means of medical supplies you had in your saddlebags to pack and dress it so the bleeding stopped.

Ellie had watched you from the top of Callus as you carried him to the horse and slowly eased him into her arms.

“Do you think he’s gonna make it?” She asked you later, long after you’d lost sight of the school over your shoulder.

“I hope so, El.” You reply quietly. “I don’t know what we’ll do if he doesn’t.” It’s half a truth with a confession hidden in between of your true feelings toward the matter. You’d spent so much time watching Joel - learning about the inner workings of a man your heart aches to know, to heal, to love - that you weren’t sure what you’d do if his steady, sure presence wasn’t around anymore.

The three of you have made your home inside a garage in an abandoned neighborhood when the snowfall hits. Ellie volunteers to take care of the horses while you situate yourself and Joel into a crude attempt of a sleeping situation inside, pushing two of the remaining mattresses together and scrounging up blankets for you to shield yourselves from the cold.

You don’t like how pale he is. His wound isn’t infected, which is good, but his heartbeat is too weak and you can’t help yourself from feeling somewhat responsible.

“Joel Miller,” You whisper, long after Ellie is gone and it’s just the sound of uneven breathing and the pounding of your heart from where you lay curled around him on the pair of mattresses. “You’ve gone and gotten yourself into my blood stream. You’re not allowed to give up on me. On us. Do you understand?”

Joel doesn’t answer. Of course he doesn’t answer. You don’t expect him to, but part of you wishes he’d open those dark brown eyes and gaze up at you with all the longing and desperation you’ve felt towards him since... since.

The bitter cold that settles in your bones is an alarming reminder that you need to curl around Joel to preserve body heat. Last thing you need is him dying of hyperthermia.

“Don’t leave us,” You whisper again, curling your fingers into his hair as you tuck your body around his own and press your chin against the top of his head. “Don’t leave us.”

We can’t take another funeral.

***

The first time Joel wakes up is the day before Ellie leaves for another hunting trip. She’s scrounged up a meager amount of supplies through the houses in the neighborhood, just enough for you to get by, but you can’t help but feel the weight of the guilt settling in your stomach when you hear Ellie’s stomach growl halfway through the night.

It’s not like you’re sleeping anyway.

Joel’s sudden state of awareness is brought upon by the fingers raking through his hair and the warmth that touches his skin from the body wrapped around him. It’s odd, foreign. After so many years of isolating himself from other people, he hadn’t realized how much he craved physical contact.

And the burn that follows is enough to make him groan.

“Joel?” Immediately your hands are at his sides, Ellie’s face just above his head as his vision swims. The pain is muted. Numb. He’s barely feeling is because he’s far too distracted by your hands. “Can you hear me? I’m going to check your wound again. If you stay awake enough, I want you to eat.”

Ellie has taken his head into her lap before he can protest. Joel is awake just enough to say your name, low and hoarse, before his vision swims with black spots and the last thing he can remember is the burn.

He can remember the burn, and he can remember how you made him feel in the midst of it. Peaceful. Safe.

Joel Miller has never known peaceful or safe. Not since her. Not since Sarah.

And as he succumbs to sleep, he finds that he wants to know it more.

***

Ellie’s been gone for too long. You know she’s been gone for too long, and you haven’t heard from her on the walkies the two of you had found a couple of weeks before.

She’s been gone too long. You need to go find her.

That’s the second and final time Joel wakes up.

You’re halfway through loading his shotgun when he finally comes to, wide eyed and alert as his hands scramble for purchase on the closest weapon to him. “Easy, Joel,” You chide gently. “It’s just me.”

Something settles in him. He seems at ease with your answer.

“Where’s-” Joel grunts as he sits up, pressing a hand to his side as he does so. You ease the shotgun to the side and kneel down to his level to meet the worry in his gaze. “Where’s Ellie?”

Your frown deepens. “She went out to hunt too long ago,” You reply. “I was just about to secure this place and then go look for her.”

“Why didn’t you?”

You fidget nervously with your hands as your gaze drops into your lap. “I didn’t want to leave you alone, Joel.”

He wants to scold you. Joel wants to chastise you for such a foolish decision when your sister’s life is on the line, but he can’t find it in him to do so because your gaze is so genuine. He’s not used to that.

Joel Miller is not used to real.

Pressing a gentle thumb to the divot in your chin, you’re captivated by the way the condescension and hostility in his demeanor is gone as he slowly moves his fingers to cup the curve of your jaw. “Thank you,” He murmurs gratefully. “But now we need to go find Ellie.” A pause. “Are you ready to do what we need to do, if it gets bad?”

He always asks you this. Right before he has to embrace the side of himself that scares you, that you’ve tried so hard to keep at bay, Joel warns you about it.

“Yeah. Yeah...” You pump the shotgun in response and press it against your hip. “Yeah, I am.”

It’s uncanny how quickly you’ve learned how to slip into your masks. The mask of the gentle, compassionate woman that Joel had only just gotten to know disappears in the face of the violence he’s so accustomed to - shifting into something darker, more apathetic, more willing to do what needs to be done.

Even for the sake of one life.

You don’t even flinch when he starts torturing two of the men patrolling the neighborhood you’ve called home for the last few days. Not when the screaming starts. not when the blood pours.

“Now, the girl. Is she alive?”

“What girl? I don’t know no girl!”

The poor idiot doesn’t start talking until Joel has driven his blade clear through his knee. According to his endless rambling, your kid sister has become the newest pet to someone named David.

And that makes you see red.

You don't blink twice when both bodies lay motionless on the ground.

“Hey Joel?”

“Yeah, sunshine.”

“When we find this David,” You drag your fingers across the expanse of his shoulders to rest them on the exposed skin of his neck. His pulse thrums steadily under your touch. “I’m going to be the one to put the bullet in his face.”

***

The storm has died down to a newly fallen December snow. The temper has eased, and the anger has dissipated - only to be directed toward the people who are most deserving of it - into something that searches, that yearns, for something.

Snow melts. Snow melts and reveals what lays beneath it.

You’re just inside of the Salt Lake City limits when it happens. You’re the one who volunteered to take watch while Joel and Ellie slept. The three of you were nearly in the endgame now being so close to the Firefly hospital. Once your sister was taken there, the world would finally be saved.

And you could finally settle. No more running, no more existing.

Chewing absently on the inside of your cheek, you fiddle with the edge of your rifle from your lookout point over your camp. You’re almost too deep into your thoughts to hear him scream.

But he doesn’t just scream. Joel screams Sarah’s name, and everything becomes astonishingly clear as to why he has been the way he is. Ellie had told you about Tommy trying to slip Joel the last photo of him and his daughter before the outbreak. How he’d refused it. How he, to this day, remained adamant that his departed little girl would never be a topic of conversation.

No one warns you about the loss of a child.

“Easy, Joel,” You warn, shouldering your rifle as you climb down from the tree to sit beside the bed. His shaking fingers are wrapped tightly around the hilt of his blade. “There’s just a couple of hours until the sun comes up. You thirsty?”

Dark eyes flicker to the next bedroll. Ellie is still sleeping.

“No,” He replies gruffly. “But thanks.”

There’s a long moment of companionable silence that passes as you sit beside him, finally feeling courageous enough to spill your heart at his feet, “For all those months when we started this, I hated you. I hated you because you clearly hated me-”

“First off,” Joel interjects sharply. “Never been a time in which I hated you. Don’t know what gave you that assumption.”

“So if it wasn’t hate, then what was it? I’m not an expert at reading Joel Miller,” You shrug. “At least not yet.”

The sun is just beginning to creep over the edges of the three line in front of you. The sky above is shifting from the deep black to a soft, gentle blue that will shift into the golds and oranges of dawn.

You’re running out of time.

Joel swallows the knot in his throat as he contemplates his answer. Giving the real answer means being real and vulnerable. He’s not sure if he’s ready for that yet.

He’s not sure if he’s ready for that but with the open, earnest way you’re looking at him? He’ll get there eventually.

“Sarah was my daughter,” Joel says quietly. He can’t look at you. If he looks at you while he says this he will come apart at the seams. “She died at the start of the epidemic. Longer that goes by, more I’m almost.. grateful.” The words are sour on his tongue. It sounds so wrong. “She was too good for a world like this one. Too pure. Any kind of innocence I had was gone a long time ago. I was made for this kind of life,” His eyes slowly shift to meet yours. You haven’t taken your gaze off of his face once. “You and Ellie weren’t.”

You smile. “That’s sweet, Joel. Really. But you could not know-”

“I do know. I know because you have something that doesn’t exist anymore.’’

You tip your head to the side in confusion. “Which is?”

“Goodness. Compassion. You’re real,” Joel pauses, running his tongue along his teeth. “That’s why it looked like I hated you. I hated you because I was afraid of how real you are. How gentle you are.”

“Why would that be something you’d fear?” You ask softly.

“Because I don’t deserve that kind of thing, Sunshine. Goodness? Compassion? All the soft things that died with my little girl?” He shakes his head. “Those aren’t something you give to someone like me.”

You’d noticed over the last couple of months that every time you touched Joel, he recoiled like he had been burned. You’d seen that before too. It was the look often accompanied by the quiet desire to seek more of something you’d been deprived of: The look of a touch starved man.

It was why you’d been more deliberate in starting slow. Cheek touches, chin touches, gentle fingers raking through his hair to scrape across his scalp and kisses to bloodied knuckles on the nights things were bad.

If he wanted real, if he wanted peace, you were more then willing to give it to him.

“I had a son,” You whisper. This is not something you are ready to divulge to Ellie. Not yet. “He was born around the same time she was, though she never knew it,” Something akin to realization flickers through his eyes before he’s opening his mouth to apologize, most likely, but you hush him with a raised hand as you continue. “He died before he ever turned one.”

You didn’t want to continue. It was still too fresh. Too raw. He would’ve been fifteen soon.

Joel took your hand into his own and spread your fingers apart, dragging the tips of his own fingers across the back of each of yours before lifting them to his lips to kiss all your fingertips.

“They have a word for someone who’s lost a spouse. What do you call someone who lost a child?”

And there it is, that quiet understanding you share that makes you ache to pull back what remains of his walls and finally reveal the man who lay underneath.

You hum thoughtfully as you then lean forward to just barely graze your lips against his cheek.

That’s also the same time Ellie decides to wake up. She sees the way your silhouettes cast across the grass as the rays of early morning light emerge from over the trees. She sees the way Joel leans into you like he’s seeking something, and she sees the way scarlet dusts your cheeks when you finally pull away.

Hm.

Seems like you’ve finally found what you’re looking for.

***

Everything finally feels right. You’ve finally started down a path that ends with Joel realizing that you love him, with Joel realizing that he’s deserving, and with you hopefully realizing that he’s been reciprocating for quite some time.

The three of you are at the hospital in Salt Lake after being caught in the flood. You’re the one who took the most damage. Battered and bruised, Joel is left to watch helplessly from your bedside as you sleep. He’d only just woken up himself in the same state.

Marlene comes in much, much later to tell you what’s going on with Ellie. What the real cure is, what it will do to her.

And suddenly, again, everything comes screeching to a halt.

This is the story of how, despite everything between you and Joel going right, everything begins to go wrong and you’re left with a decision that will inevitably cost you your sister.

All of those lives, for the sake of one.... is it worth it?

Haven’t I given enough?

part two??? :D

#The Last of Us #tlou #tlou1 #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Reader #Joel x Reader

479 notes · View notes

elliespuns · 3 months

Note

What do you think of Isabela Merced as Dina and Kaitlyn Dever as Abby?

I'm a little iffy about the casting, but I'm sure once I see them on screen, they'll be fine.

When Pedro and Bella were cast as Ellie and Joel, I wasn't sure about them at first, but they did grow on me.

I am not gonna say I am loving it, but I am not gonna say I'm hating it either. Let's say that I'm still waiting to see how they're going to pull off their roles.

I remember when they announced Bella and Pedro. I was skeptical about Bella (not because of their appearance!!) because I couldn't imagine them in the role. It wasn't love at first sight, as it was with Pedro. When I saw Pedro, I knew he was Joel, and I didn't even know him; I just saw him in GoT until then. And then, after watching, I came to realize Bella was a good Ellie. I adored their face, their vibe (especially behind the camera, such a sweet person), and their amazing performance. What I didn't like was that Ellie was portrayed as a brat in the show, but it was not Bella's fault, of course, because they only portrayed what they'd been given. Now I can't imagine anyone else in the role, and I kind of look back and facepalm myself every time for judging too soon.

That's why I am not certain about the new cast yet. I don't have anything to judge. I will gladly share the news and will gladly fangirl about the new cast (because I'm excited it's finally happening!!). But I will share my opinions once we get to see those people play.

Something tells me that Isabela Merced as Dina (if I were to judge only by appearance) is the most fitting choice so far. She looks like a great Dina. But then again, I don't want to judge only by looks, so we'll see. What I care about most is the way they take the character and make it theirs. I don't need beautiful or interesting people on screen to crush over, as long as they know what they are doing with the role.

And when it comes to Abby, I am very excited about how Kaitlyn Dever is gonna nail it. I've seen a lot of negative comments about her not being muscular enough and yadda yadda, but speaking for myself, I couldn't care less. If she's going to portray Abby the way Abby really is, I am going to be satisfied no matter what.

#the last of us #tlou #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #isabela merced #kaitlyn dever #abby anderson #abby tlou #dina nolastname #dina tlou #ellie williams #joel miller #ellie tlou #joel tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #elliespuns answers

30 notes · View notes

lokischocolatefountain · 1 year

Text

Chapter 1– If Your Daughter Needs a Void

Everyone Loves Contractors

Everyone in Jackson had a role to play, a responsibility to fulfil towards the community. They all fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Except for Joel Miller who knew how to protect and make deals but not to chaperone children’s dances and bring cookies to the bake sale. Ellie was his purpose and he would do anything from heinous crimes to social events if it put that toothy smile back on her face. Luckily for him, he isn’t the only single parent in town who could relate.

Navigation: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Fandom: The Last of Us (TV)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k words

A/N: I am not immune to Pedro Pascal. Something I looove seeing in TLOU is its age appropriate relationships like with Joel and Tess. I want to see more graying older men falling in love with older graying women. So, I’m writing one.

Joel Miller walked up to his door, his knees creaking like the doors of a haunted mansion and his back begging him to lie back down on his bed. The incessant knocks had finally gotten to him. Sleep was not something he found often. Peaceful sleep was even more of a rarity. He was going to bash in the head of whoever was stood outside being an absolute fucking menace.

His anger simmered when he opened the door to find the kid smiling sheepishly at him. She was wearing a different backpack now, the one she was painting stars on just last week. It was filled with books and little knickknacks instead of the handgun, pun book and non-perishable food of their traveling days. The purple keychain had moved from that old tattered pack to the new one, a little brighter after being scrubbed thoroughly under the sink.

“Could’ve used your key,” he snapped, walking in and letting her follow him inside. The backpack fell to the floor with a thump right by the door even though he had asked her to place it on the side to keep from blocking the exit. He was deaf on one ear, but kids were selectively deaf to their parents on both ears.

“Relaaax man,” she whined, crashing on the sofa and putting her dirty boots up on the coffee table. “I just forgot to take my key with me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, walking into the kitchen even though his feet ached to climb the stairs back up to the bedroom and resume sleep. But he knew better than to try his luck. It was a miracle that he was able to close his eyes for— he looked up at the clock to check the time— 2 hours. Trying for sleep again would be futile. Besides, the kid would be hungry after running around in school the entire day.

He would ask her to reheat the rice he cooked for them and eat by herself, but that just felt wrong. Like he was shirking his duties as her…whatever.

Not seconds after putting her backpack down and crashing on the couch, she began her usual spiel about what happened in school. It was strange at first to hear her rant about everything she learned and all the games she played and petty fights she had with her schoolmates. It all felt too normal, too much like the times before. It put him on edge, like this normality would end at any second and he would be back in the wild, failing her over and over.

And then there was the guilt…there was always guilt. His past failures always came crashing in with every single thing Ellie did.

Today, it was in answering the door for her when she returned from school. It was in standing there and reheating the rice in the cast iron pan as she spoke about the asteroid belt and Jupiter’s moons. His heart clenched as he thought of his Sarah coming home, opening the door to their empty house, doing her homework and studying and reheating the food by herself. No one to talk to about her friends, no one to listen to her about her crush on some boy if she even had one… He didn’t know. He was out there working and working and working, putting food on the table and money in a savings account for her to go to college. And it was all for naught— both Sarah and money stopped being part of their world.

She would be in her thirties now, much older than the kid he was now fathering instead of her. Hell, she might have her own kid. He would be close to retirement, looking forward to being just Grandpa Joel.

“—and then I showed him how it’s done. Three bullets, one by one PEW! PEW! PEW!” She said, making guns with her fingers and shooting in front of her. “All bullseye. He was standing there like—” she gasped and re-enacted how her classmate looked at her in wonder at her shooting skills.

“Don’t forget that you were also a terrible shot before I spent many weeks teaching you how to shoot. Don’t show off around your schoolmates. Help if you can, or just shut up.” He had these ‘normal’ concerns again. Her teachers had called him for a parent-teacher conference where they expressed concerns about her behaviour— too loud, too quiet, too aggressive, too brash, too isolated. They always compared her behaviour to that of other kids her age. He wanted to scream at them, shake them by their shoulders until it registered that his kid had been through things they will never understand, that they should fucking get over it and just teacher her math. But he couldn’t.

It was some bullshit.

All he could do without having her kicked out of this safe haven was to try to change her behaviour.

“Come on, maaan! Let me show off the one skill I have. They are all better at other subjects than me and I’m the dumbass in every class. I’m gonna be the best at the shooting classes.”

“You can be the best at something without being an ass— without being rude,” he said, plating the rice and placing it in front of her. His mouth was the problem, he realised. If he swore in every breath, she would be encouraged to do it too.

She shoveled the food in her mouth, her manners still…absent. She was better behaved than on their first day here, but her behaviour still left much to be desired. He didn’t blame her. This was her first time in polite society and it hadn’t been long since they got here. Hell, he grew up in a normal world and he still caught himself behaving like an animal sometimes. That is what two decades of life in an apocalypse did to a man.

“Well, you were a smug asshole when you started teaching me how to shoot. You had that smirk on your face like you thought you were the shit.”

“Language, Ellie. I know this is the way you are used to speaking. But, it’s not considered nice here.”

“Oh, give me a goddamned motherfucking break, Joel. Isn’t this the point of having a home? Saying whatever you want and being who you are? I’m faking it outside, okay? Just let me be in here,” she snapped, getting off the chair and marching up the stairs. The door slammed and Joel froze, clueless about what to do.

The thought he was trying to push away for so long came rushing back in despite his best efforts— Sarah never did that. He knew it wasn’t productive to do that. Comparisons served no purpose. Comparing your pseudo-daughter with your daughter who died two whole decades ago was even more useless. Ellie was not the same person, Ellie didn’t grow up in the same world that his daughter did. He was not the same man either.

What was he even supposed to do in this situation? Ground her? He never had to ground Sarah. What would that even mean in this world, in this town, for a girl who had seen horrors beyond the imaginations of her peers in Jackson. Wouldn’t it be cruel to take away the freedom of a kid who had only just gotten it?

Sighing, he put away the pan in which he heated the rice, hoping that he could reheat her rice when she was in a better mood. And he was not really in the mood to clean up.

When it had been half an hour since their argument, he climbed the stairs to Ellie’s room, grunting as his knees reminded him of the wear and tear they had been through to get him to this point. The plate of rice, warm once again, sat hopefully on the palm of his left hand as his right knocked on her door.

“Whaat?” Asked a muffled voice from inside the room.

He cleared his throat before asking, “Can I come in?”

He needed to put the plate down. His palms were suddenly sweaty and he was afraid he would drop the warm porcelain plate on the floor. It annoyed him that she was taking her sweet time to answer, but stood outside her door patiently. He heard the ruffling of the sheets before she finally answered, her voice barely audible. “Okayyy…”

He opened the door to find her lying face down on her bed.

“Ellie…”

“I don’t want to be yelled at.”

He took a deep breath. “No yelling,” he agreed. Was this bad parenting? Was he supposed to yell? His mother would have kicked his butt for swearing the way she did. He didn’t have the energy for butt kicking and she would not be receptive to any rule that was enforced that way.

He put the plate down on her side-table and took a seat on the armchair he’d made for the living room that mysteriously walked up the stairs and into her room one day. She did not ask for permission to move it, didn’t even care that it would be too heavy for her to safely carry. But his heart warmed to know that she liked something he made.

He would begin by letting her know that he understood where she was coming from. Then he would bring up his justification. It should work, right?

“It must be…I… I understand. It’s a very different way of life and everything is new for you. It will take you time to adjust, I think. And umm…it can be annoying to have new rules about every single thing.”

She snorted.

“And I also get that you will want to be yourself at home.”

“But?” She asked, finally turning her head away from the pillow and looking at him. Her eyes narrowed at him and her lips were pursed. He wanted to lie, say everything was alright just to make her feel good again.

“I just wanted to break the habit of swearing. It might slip when you’re outside the house and your teachers wouldn’t be happy with that. You just need to get into the practice of speaking differently based on where you are. Formal and respectful with your teachers and more casual with your friends. Respectful to strangers too. That is hard to do, to let your guard down around new people.”

He didn’t have to explain why. She knew exactly what he was talking about. He wasn’t immune to it either. He approached people with hostility, afraid they were there to fight him or hurt Ellie. It was proving nearly impossible to get over.

“I just want you to fit in,” he continued when she didn’t argue his points.

“Why? I don’t want to be like those dickheads who don’t even know how to shoot a gun. I will never be the girl who is worried about what sweater to wear with what jeans and get nervous asking some stupid boy out for the spring dance. It’s dumb.”

He slouched in the chair, making himself smaller, feeling smaller. He had no problems with the patrols, no problems with shooting down the infected that stumbled into their radius. But this? This made him shrivel up.

“Fitting in is important. It can mean the difference between survival and…” he trailed off, struggling to explain social exclusion. He never had to explain to Sarah why she should hang out with the Alders and put up with Mrs. Adler’s preaching. A girl who had to survive all that shit might not even take this seriously.

“You need to make a good impression. Make sure people like you. Make friends. You need people.”

“I have people, Joel. I have you. Don’t need these losers.”

“I’m not always going to be here,” he said, regretting it immediately as he saw the fear in her eyes. Neither had to say it out loud, but he knew they were both thinking of the times she had to save his life. “Like…in school,” he quickly corrected. “I’m not with you everywhere you go. You need to learn to do this on your own, find more people.”

“Is that why you stay cooped up in this house and don’t leave unless Tommy or I drag you out or you have patrol duty?”

Rude. Perhaps she needed to be grounded.

“And you want to be like me? No friends, cooped up in the house, only a— as you always say, grumpy old man— to hang out with? That’s just lame, kid.”

Before she could retort, he rose from his seat. “Eat that,” he said, pointing to her plate of rice before leaving her to mull over his words in the privacy of her room. If rationality didn’t do the trick, the reminder of how pathetic it was to hang out with someone kids saw as a fucking fossil might.

————

Her

“Miller.”

He grunted that old man grunt and stepped ahead, taking the writing pad from her and scribbling his signature on the sheet under today’s date. She took the pencil back from him quickly, placing it back on the pen stand from which one too many pens and pencils had gone missing. People hadn’t left behind the habit of stealing stationery even after the apocalypse.

Rifles slung over their shoulders, they walked side by side. His condition was much improved compared to the day he came back to Jackson with his kid in tow. But he still walked slowly, his gait betraying whatever injuries he had incurred on his journey to Jackson, on his journey the past 20 years. Despite it all, he still appeared strong and powerful in a way that made everyone understand how he had survived everything without the protection of a community.

He hadn’t spoken to her much, thank goodness. He would show up at her door for medicines and checkups for his reluctant kid who dragged him in for his own treatments. She didn’t talk to him much then, the girl did the talking for him whether or not he wanted it. The girl was annoying unlike her father, asking questions she shouldn't ask a little too easily. Like she was merely asking what day of the week it was. Thankfully, he was always there to correct his daughter and apologize to her before she continued treating them.

She kept her eyes on the route, holding the oil lamp in her hand as they looked for potential danger. She was alert, wide awake, despite the sleeplessness and the amount of alcohol she’d had at family dinner. Her feet took her along the familiar path, the couple thousand nights of patrolling etched into her muscles in a way that she was sure she would circle this path even if she became infected.

He was an altogether different story. He was alert, yes. But it was excessive. His gun always pointed to shoot, his backpack loaded with more ammo than anyone else on patrols, his eyes wild and desperate like he had something precious to protect. He flinched at every noise, pointed his gun at rabbits who minded their own business and trembled as he lowered his gun before holding it up again when there was another noise. She couldn’t say she didn’t recognize the behavior. He did have a lot more to protect unlike her.

He had a bigger family— a brother, sister-in-law and soon a nephew or niece. And there was his daughter of course. Maybe he had a wife at some point. Maybe he lost her to this world like they all lost someone. Maybe she was what made him so rigid, so untrusting, so silent. She pictured him, younger with dark hair and clear skin, eyes as dark as they were now as the time this hypothetical wife was taken from him. There was a tinge of shame in his eyes, the very shame he saw him carry as his teenager complained to her about him skipping medicines and working too much in her home turned clinic. The very shame she caught just then as he pointed his gun at a housecat that had wandered out a little too far.

“You shoot that cat and her 5 year old will make you wish you were never born,” she remarked, cursing herself as soon as she said it. He already looked like he wished he was never born. She didn’t want to make him sadder and more pathetic than he already appeared to be.

To her surprise, he chuckled. “That’s one way to get kicked out of Jackson.”

He wouldn’t be expelled over a cat. He’d have to apologize profusely to the little boy for killing his cat and make up for it in some way. But he wouldn’t be kicked out. But she could understand the anxiety. Even after becoming a permanent member of this place, she was afraid she might make a mistake that would force them to throw her out.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want to lose our wonderful contractor,” she joked instead.

“You’ll still have Tommy.”

“Yeah, but Tommy needs his assistant,” she quipped, knowing very well that the older Miller was the leader among the two. “Someone to stand by and hand him things.”

He simply smiled, deepening the lines on his face.

“How long have you been here?” He asked, surprising her. He never asked her personal questions, only questions related to their patrol. There were the empty pleasantries when he showed up at her door for treatment of course, but they didn’t count.

“The whole time. Born in Wyoming. I lived in Baltimore for a while for medical school. Then I moved to DC for my husband’s job. But, I made my way back here after it started. I was hoping to find my parents, but… Well, you know that goes. What about you?” She asked, knowing that he was from Texas. But anything she didn’t already know about him was too complex, too private.

“Texas. Grew up in Arlington, moved to Austin. Went to many places after the outbreak but I was in Boston until I came here.”

“That’s a long way to travel, especially with a kid. Must have been hell.” A hell that I know too well, she thought but didn’t voice. None of her business. Maybe his journey was like hers. Maybe the darkness in his eyes, like her own, was from the unspeakable things parents did to protect their children. She didn’t need to know the specifics to recognize it.

Silence once again filled the space between them and her shoulders slumped in relief. It was emotionally draining to keep up a conversation that wasn’t about someone's health, medicines or diet. Even more so to have conversations after the sun went down and darkness enveloped not just the night sky but her mind.

“You’re a doctor.”

“Yeah, Miller. Want something checked out?” It was the first thing people wanted from her. It wasn’t too different from random uncles and cousins showing her their weird mole and asking for medical advice at the Thanksgiving table. It was annoying and remained annoying, but she understood that people had to ask now.

“What kind of doctor?”

“Back then? Cardiothoracic surgeon— so like, heart lungs and everything in the chest area. Now, fucking everything except dermatology. So I can help with anything except if you want tret for that face.”

“You a shrink too?”

She couldn’t even deal with her own goddamn problems. What made this man think she could listen to others’? It was nice that he bothered to ask. Others did not. When she put stethoscopes on hearts and listened for issues, people took it as permission to vent about every single worry. Nightmares, pain, relationship problems, fucking everything.

“I don’t know. You don’t seem the type to go to a shrink.”

“It’s not for me.”

“Ah.”

“I’m not. I know too little about the human mind. I did a few psychiatry rounds back in med school, but that was all. But people talk to me all the time. I…” she sighed and leaned on a nearby fence. It was a painful admission, but she would say it if it would help this man and his little girl. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that he was a parent and parents would do fucking anything for their kid.

“I know this ain’t your job. And I don’t need to see your fucking graduation certificate or know how many mental patients you had. All I know is that when my wife died, my daughter spoke to a therapist and she became better. Can you do that for Ellie? Just talk to her. I know you don’t take payments for seeing patients, but I’ll pay. I have connections. Anything you want from outside, I’ll go get it. Oxy, hydro, you name it.”

He wasn’t like the others in Jackson. While the people in Jackson lived, he survived. He was from out there where everything had a price. Even a life. She knew how to work with that. She’d talk to his kid, help her out in whatever way she wanted and ask him for a favour in return. There was a simplicity to it that the people of Jackson did not understand. They did not trade within. They simply did shit out of what seemed like the goodness of their stupid hearts. All that did was keep her in their debt forever. With this man, there would be a clear payment and no guilt.

“I have oxy, better than anything you can get. I have suppliers I trust. We can even treat diabetes here. Can get glasses too. If you’re offering to trade, offer something better.”

“What do you want?”

A house.

“I don’t know. I’ll think of something,” she lied. It was hard to ask. Hard to open her mouth and say she wanted something. “But you don’t need to make Ellie wait until then. She can talk to me about anything that’s bothering her when she feels ready. Talking is good. It’s like throwing your shit into a void. So if your daughter needs a void…”

He nodded and the deal was struck.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x original character #joel miller fic #the last of us #the last of us fic #joel tlou #tlou fic #joel miller fluff #tlou fluff #pedro pascal #everyone loves contractors #all that i've inflicted on the world

141 notes · View notes

littlefanthings · 1 year

Note

Let’s be honest Pedro was not in the suit probably at all this season because he chose a different role, which yeah sure good for him. But season two, when he spent more time in the suit it felt different. The vocals matched the performance so much better

I’m starting to understand why Branden keeps referring to himself at the Mandalorian seeing as he does most of the work

I agree that that when Pedro is actually in the suit the voice and movements are more cohesive, though to be fair I think a lot of Mando’s lines (if not all) wind up having to be ADRed anyway since that helmet can’t be helpful in terms of getting quality sound recordings. I don’t know 100% on that, I’m too lazy to try and look it up, frankly. But yes, the performance is better when the person speaking is the one also making the decisions on physicality. It all connects. However, for the most part, even if it would be better to have one guy doing the whole thing - they still do a great job working together to make the different performances mesh together into one believable character. That’s a lot harder to do than it looks.

Pedro also may have spent some time in the suit during breaks from TLoU’s year-long filming schedule, but yeah, he’s likely not physically playing Mando much in S3.

But look, I’m not going to begrudge an actor work, especially an actor who got their big break later in the game than most. Hollywood is ageist as fuck and there’s a ticking clock on being able to do certain types of roles.

The options here would have been:

• Pedro doesn’t do The Last of Us and is physically involved as Mando more often, which is great for Mando fans but sad for Pedro and TLoU because he’s doing an incredible, possibly Emmy-worthy job as Joel and it sounds like it was an amazing and unique experience.

• Pedro leaves Mando entirely to do TLoU, very sad for Mando fans because we love Pedro and it would leave the entire show in jeopardy - they’d have to recast and/or drastically change the whole framework of the show. Not easy or preferable for anyone.

• Pedro is physically there for both Mando and TLoU, but that would mean we probably wouldn’t get more Mando for at least another year since TLoU took an entire year to film in Alberta.

• They work things out the best they can so that he can do both roles without massively delaying anything, which is what they did, and I think it was the best option for everyone.

When they cast Pedro for Mando they knew up front that availability was going to be an issue and agreed to work around it. They would likely have the same issue with any popular actor. The show is uniquely positioned to easily use doubles and stunt performers since the main character is literally forbidden to show his face. Any actor worth their salt would be insane to not take advantage of the amount of flexibility that offers. And even if Pedro was in the suit all the time, Brendan and Lateef would still be stepping in a lot for stunt work.

What’s fascinating and wonderful to me is how The Mandalorian cast and crew is being so straightforward about the fact that stunt performers are doing a lot of the heavy lifting and bringing them into the limelight. A lot of shows would - and do - try to completely obfuscate and distract their audience from the fact that stunt performers and doubles are used. That really sucks for stunt performers who will literally risk their bodies and lives for this work without getting the credit they deserve. They don’t even get included in the major award shows despite the fact that a lot of film and TV would be impossible without them.

So yeah, Brendan IS the Mandalorian. And so is Pedro and so is Lateef. And if more shows and movies were honest about it, we’d get to see that a lot of these kind of superhero and crazy action shows are really an amalgamation of multiple people working together to create one character. And the fact that they can make it work and keep us all immersed and feeling like it’s one person is actually extremely cool.

In conclusion: Teamwork makes the dream work. And means we get a lot more really great films and shows than we would without it.

#the mandalorian #pedro pascal #brendan wayne #lateef crowder #din djarin #stunt actors #stunt performers #TLoU

18 notes · View notes

oodlyenough · 1 year

Text

alright last of us ep 1 thoughts! some spoilers for both games, sorry

i expected this to be good (the game seems like a natural port to tv) and was not disappointed, i quite enjoyed myself. i'd be very curious to see/hear more reaction from viewers who don't already know the story inside out, as that is obviously the target audience (nothing wrong with that) but it's a different perspective to someone coming at it as a fan of the game

pedro pascal as joel is great. this is an easy sell to me in part because i'm somewhat ambivalent to game joel anyway, lol, but i feel a bit more fondness towards tv joel already. uh, more on that later

bella ramsey is good. it will take me longer to warm up to his ellie, because i am more attached to game ellie. this was always going to be the hardest role to cast because finding an actual teenager to carry this role was going to be hard. there are some moments where i feel like i can See the acting, which is distracting -- but there were other moments i quite liked their delivery, so i think i will settle into it as time goes on. the moment where ellie asks about the code and then, later, lies about the 80s song on the radio was the moment where they really clicked for me as ellie, so i'm looking forward to more bits like that.

the stand-out here for me was actually nico parker as sarah. sarah is a sweet but ultimately little beyond a prop in the game; here we got to know more of her, parker's performance was great, and the mounting dread as we follow sarah through the day and see hints of things amiss around her was excellent. it's interesting how much i was on the edge of my seat the entire prologue even though i knew exactly what would happen

marlene i'm so thrilled you manifested out of my playstation to be here you're beautiful. have you and kim explored each other's bodies

huge win for the joel/tess people LOL. i like tess a lot in game, and this is a different variation on the character, i think. they've softened her a bit -- i liked her lying to robert about how it's not an issue and she'll totally just let it slide, and the reveal of course that she didn't mean that lmao... but i hope we get to see her be a bit more ruthless in ep 2, or i'll feel this character lost something from the source. the entire robert subplot in-game is just a gunplay tutorial, and getting it all out of the way to get to business faster is an improvement, narratively, for a tv show.

but they've softened everyone so far, including joel. wanting a battery to go find his brother is a much nobler and sympathetic goal than being ripped off on arms he was trying to smuggle. this has pros and cons. obviously a pro is it's easier to like joel here; a con is what this will mean for the future of the character/season, when joel will be having to do some pretty brutal things, and presumably be pretty cold to ellie for quite some time. i also keep thinking of that moment in part 2 where dina is like, who would want to hurt joel? and ellie is like uh half the people who met him. "we're shitty people joel" is a good and definitive moment in game, one of the kinds of scenes i consider a thesis statement on the characters -- does it still hold up with this tess + joel? if it doesn't, how does the show adjust?

tbc i guess!!

misc other thoughts:

i wonder why we changed the outbreak to 2003... i assume it's so that "20 years later" means the main action is taking place in 2023. but it's not "our" 2023 so that seems almost irrelevant. i suppose they still felt that was more hashtag relatable than setting it in the near future

loved the cold open

the title sequence is cool but unfortunately like every prestige title sequence feels derivative of game of thrones. i think they could've repurposed the game's opener (the snippets of news broadcasts) and had a real banger of an opening. oh well

LOVE that they kept the music/composer

not sure how i felt about the early scenes of ellie w the fireflies. in game, i felt it was fairly clear ellie was doing this by choice. i also felt her wanting to return "home" didn't really jive with what i knew from left behind, where she was moments away from running away with riley + clearly unhappy at school anyway. maybe with riley gone she would want to return to normalcy but... idk

selfishly i hope this takes off because i can't remember the last time i watched a show weekly that other people were watching and talking about. maybe even flesh and blood people at work and stuff. wow.

#the last of us hbo

7 notes · View notes

moon-ursidae · 2 years

Text

GAME SESSION 1 RECAP

there will be game spoilers here which will most likely spoil the hbo series as well, so i’m just gonna play it safe. i get that the game is 9 years old but some ppl don’t know yknow?🤷🏻‍♀️

also i doubt anyone is gonna read all of this LMAO it’s more for me bc i have a terrible memory and i just felt like doing it :) but if you do read all of it I’M SORRY lmao

hours played: around 6-7ish?

i started crying at the start menu

and i cried during the first cutscene

then i of course cried when the scene with joel and sarah happened

the score is fucking phenomenal. gustavo really fuckin killed it

i got chills when the opening credits were playing. SO. FUCKING. GOOD.

the quarantine zone looks really cool and it makes me anxious to see what the show is gonna look like

i also noticed that Joel has some broad ass shoulders. great casting hbo LMAO

i love that they establish immediately that Joel is very protective. he asks Tess about the cut pretty early on in their conversation, and even helps her clean it up. he obviously cares and is protective of his friends. makes sense given this is the apocalypse, and Joel seems really closed off to others.

for example, when they’re walking through the QZ Tess is the one talking to everyone while Joel is pretty quiet. i love how they’re establishing his character this way :)

i really like the option of doing things stealth! trying to get used to it as i know there are probably going to be a lot of stealth sections. and i also wanna save ammo!

MARLENE!! THAT ONLY MEANS ONE THING!! ELLIE SOON!!!!!!! YUUUHHHHH

also just the thought that joel becomes ellie’s father figure all bc robert sold guns to marlene, and the only way to get them back was smuggle ellie out of the city. now we have 2 games! LMAOO

just the thought of joel grumbling “all because of some fuckin guns” when ellie’s giving him a hard time HAHA

IT’S ELLIE!!!

already seeing that ellie will go to the fucking mat for the people she cares about is SO IMPORTANT TO ME

like she was fully prepared to shove a shiv into Tess

THE DYNAMIC DUO BEGINS I AM KICKING MY FEET AHHHHHH

SHUT THE HELL UP THE MUSIC PLAYING AFTER ELLIE SAYS “your watch is broken” I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN

holy fuck the outdoor stealth in the rain had me clenching the whole time

the wrecked skyscrapers look so fucking cool. also terrifying. but still cool.

FUCKIN CLICKERS AW SHIT

the sound design is also fucking amazing. i’m terrified by these infected sounds dude. and the sound of the building groaning like it’s about to collapse? fuckin awesome

NO CLICKERS ARE SO FUCKING SCARY

i am perpetually stressed trying to get through this fucking city

FINALLY OUT OF THE BUILDING OH MY GOD THE SUNRISE IS SO PRETTY

when joel & ellie are looking at the city and the sun is coming up it literally looks like bella and pedro from behind

SCREAMING

ANYWAY i love seeing all 3 of them start to warm up to each other and their dynamic as a trio. it’s really cute :)

i’m literally checking every single fucking nook and cranny for supplies

i feel bad for joel, tess, and ellie bc they FINALLY made it to the state house and everyone’s dead :( they’re so fucking tired and everything just went to shit after they were like “home stretch! :D” and then they open the door and it became “D:”

TESS NO :(

🎶I CAN SEE WHAT’S HAPPENIN’. OUR TRIO’S DOWN TO TWO🎶

sorry no but this literally fucking sucks. i LOVE tess. the way joel kept calling her boss. he clearly respected her, and felt comfortable with her enough to joke around with her. AND NOW SHE’S FUCKIN BIT. AND WE’RE LEAVING HER BEHIND.

i’m gonna fucking cry hearing gunshots and tess screaming dude. UGH. this game is so emotionally and mentally challenging haha I’M tired bro

i had to pause the game seeing her on the floor from the balcony. i cannot IMAGINE what Joel is going through if i feel like this, and only knew her for like 5-6 hours. rip tess I LOVE YOU.🤍

ellie is probably like “believe me now asshole?” when he had to put a mask on but she didn’t

swimming in the subway had me stressed bro i was like “THERE’S GONNA BE AN INFECTED THAT CAN SWIM” i was wrong. but still waiting for shit to hit the fan again.

FINALLY OUT BABY!! FRESH AIR!!

walking in the woods is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking nice after all the bullshit in Boston goddamn

i am very much a country/woods person so this is very much more my speed :)

i also like the banter between joel & ellie already. joel establishing boundaries for the teen to follow. such a dad.

still waiting for shit to hit the fan again. bc joel and ellie cannot catch a fucking break.

i feel like i should stop here bc i am fucking exhausted after all that but I AM FINALLY OUTSIDE

i went a bit farther but stopped before going into the settlement to see if bill’s there!

all in all, GODDAMN. first play session felt pretty long, but that’s bc i choose stealth over shooting my way out 99% of the time. it takes me a while to figure out a game plan and find each enemy’s patterns. it’s been a HOT minute since i’ve had to do it. and i’m an overthinker so there’s that

i already loved joel before playing this from what i saw of the game before now. after playing it? holy fucking shit. i L O V E joel. and i fucking L O V E ellie. playing this makes me so goddamn excited for the hbo series!!

this session isn’t as long as my first rdr2 session (13 hrs🥴) but it’s a pretty good start!

i know i still have a long way to go, so i’m just gonna let my brain recharge before i’m back at it tomorrow!

#the last of us #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #tess tlou #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #mads plays the last of us!🌿

3 notes · View notes

vigilante-izuku · 2 years

Note

I must know... what came first, the thirst for joel or din/pedro characters?? were you already into pedro when he was casted for joel? love your blog so much!!!!!!!!

howdy!!!! <3

okay so i knew of the last of us but i never played it because one: im not much of a gamer (i do love watching other folks play tho) and two: my sister's ex was obsessed with it and she grimaces any time it was ever mentioned so i just avoided it.

but yeah my love for pedro came first and then i heard the news and got intrigued. i knew how well-loved the game was (at least the first one) so a friend and i watched a 5hr gameplay of it and became a little obsessed with it and joel miller. i cannot speak about the sequel because i haven't watched it, nor do i really want to after what happens, but the first game? it really is so damn good!! i am not immune (ha) to dilfs and the found family trope. and joel miller's voice?? yeah. pixelated joel miller can Get It.

#eri's answers #thank you sooooo much you're sweet #but yeah im gonna lose it when pedro joel arrives #because i love joel so much anyways #and my love for pedro's acting and his characters #i just know he'll do a fantastic job playing joel

4 notes · View notes

tloujm · 3 years

Text

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you.

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further.

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you.

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented.

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

#TLOU #TLOU2 #TLOUII #the last of us #the last of us joel #the last of us fanfic #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us fanfiction #tlou ellie #tlou joel #tlou fanfiction #tlou oc #naughty dog #Joel Miller #joel x reader #joel miller fanfic #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

43 notes · View notes

oloreaa · 3 years

Note

Hey girl! Just wanted to say sumthin' about people commenting on Pedro's post and his 'baby girl' thing.. Disclaimer, I'm not a gamer and never knew nor cared about anything even remotely related to TLOU until I heard about Pedro playing Joel. To this day I'm still clueless about it and I intend to watch it as a casual fan. I don't wanna research things about TLOU so I can enjoy the series as a TV series - not an extension of the game. I did the same with The Hunger Games. I read the books after I watched all the movies. Loved it. So I think when people went crazy about the 'baby girl' thing, it's probably because a) they have no idea that in the game he only said it to his dying daughter, if they did then hell yes that's messed up and gross; b) they're just imagining Joel saying it to them using Pedro's voice, in a 'daddy-baby girl' capacity – which, I mean, I understand if that grosses you out but I think people are allowed to have a daddy kink so long as they maintain boundaries (only fantasize about Pedro's characters, not Pedro himself). I don't know, seems kind of harsh to criticize people's excitement and paint them as freaks when they simply don't have the well of knowledge others have about TLOU. I can't say much about the explicit comments you were referring to because I haven't seen them myself, but as for the 'baby girl' part.. Maybe let people get excited and not assume negatively about their intentions?

I hope this ask doesn't come off as aggressive or hateful. I'm just standing up for fellow clueless, casual fans of Pedro who are excited about his projects (and, well, fantasize about his characters). You know Spirited Away right? That scene where the soot balls thingies are squealing and jumping around excitedly when the little star-shaped treats are thrown their way? Yeah. We're the soot ball thingies. Pedro's posts/updates are the star-shaped treats. Pleaseee tell me you get this reference 🤣🤣🤣

Hey!! Thank you so much for this ask, I really appreciate that you took the time to write this!

First of all I'm aware of that people might not know about it, I personally have never been into TLOU before the casting got announced because I'm a weenie and zombie apocalypse is just not something that had interested me💀 and the way you intend to watch it is completely valid and actually a good way to go into it with an open mind, especially when there is a lot of previously established lore for it.

As for "babygirl", I understand and expect that not everyone might know the background behind it, and I cannot speak for the people who are into that kind of thing (and like, if that's what they're into, no shame at all!!). But for me personally I was just annoyed because the name is both very personal and parental as well with a highly traumatic backdrop and not intended to be sexual at all in the context of the game/show. Again: I know not everyone might know that and I don't hold it against them.

Liking the voice or liking the man (and his characters) is allowed but since the fandom has a long history of being very sexualising and most "appreciation" being blatant fetishization, I hope that you understand why I am frustrated about this whole thing. This is not me trying to say that everyone who likes him contributes to it, intentional or not, and being a fan of him is "bad" or whatever, it's just that this fandom has a certain worrying trend and it pops up quite often, especially when new content drops.

I hope that you understand where I'm coming from and I also get that someone being negative about something you're excited about can be a real bummer, so I apologise for that!! I know that most people are just happy for the new series and it's not that people are intentionally trying to be malicious of any sort. But I also hope that people are more aware and mindful of the things they say and understand that one doesn't need to comment extensively explicit content on an otherwise non-explicit post.

(And yes, I do get the reference!!🥰 once again thank you for your ask, I really appreciate it!)

#oof do i dare tag it in the main tags #💌#anon ask #long post #the last of us #pedro pascal #rea rambles

6 notes · View notes

tloujm · 3 years

Text

Part XVIII: Tempest

Author’s Notes: Happy belated Valentines day! It took me a while to write this because this chapter contains their wedding night and I wanted to make it special and perfect and I tried. I��m not gonna lie, I haven’t been too down for writing smut lately. I’m more in the mood for fluff, but at the same time, I felt the story needed smut at the moment and, having written smut for a few years now, I don’t like just alluding to it anymore. *shrugs*. So I stopped and came back multiple times to write this. Idk if any of you watch The Walking Dead, but the one that marries you and Joel is inspired by father Gabriel from that show. I also want to take this moment to briefly acknowledge that I fully support HBO’s casting of Pedro Pascal for Joel in the TV adaptation. I’m currently infatuated with this man and his work (another reason why I haven’t been as focused on my TLOU writings) so for these two fandoms to come together is climactic right now and will be even more so when the show comes out. I can’t wait to have more material to go off of. Did you guys hear the news about Pedro’s casting and how do you feel about it??

Genre: This recipe calls for fluff and smut

Summary: Joel saw the stress that wedding planning had put on you and decided to help. At the end of the day, he just wants you to be happy. He comes up with this plan for you two to elope while a storm approaches Jackson.

Ship: Joel x Reader

It’d been overcast the whole day. As soon as you stepped outside, you could feel it in the air. It all added up to a storm. You just didn’t know when it’d happen. You were sure the others in Jackson could tell as well, but they continued business as usual; even the patrols were not cancelled. Just in case, you spent the afternoon prepping for whatever was to come. You took laundry off the lines, put a tarp over the newly seeded garden, helped your elderly neighbors bring their outdoor furniture inside and so on.

It was evening and the sun had just begun setting by the time you made it home. That was the usual time you and Joel got back home by, unless there was something that needed tending to. In that case, you’d try to communicate that with each other beforehand. You came home to an empty house and wondered if something had come up for Joel to not be back by now. You peered out the kitchen window, facing the backyard, to look for him. There was no one there, but you noticed that it had just started to drizzle. Soon enough the clouds would open and unleash a wrath of rain. You hoped that Joel would make it back home before then.

You turned to the fridge to start dinner when you saw a note attached to its door. It was folded and signed by Joel on the front. You ripped it from the magnet and opened the parchment:

Go upstairs to find a surprise on our bed,

Then meet me at the place where the old willows gather.

I hope this note finds you in good timing.

I will be inside waiting for you.

You smiled at the thought of going on a little adventure. With the note still in your hand, you ran up the stairs and practically glided into your room. Your eyes immediately fell on the two items laying at the end of the bed. Your hand reached out to touch the satin-y, ivory colored fabric of the dress. It was a simple yet elegant slip gown with a slit on the left side. It featured a low cut v-neck trimmed with a floral embroidery. Next to it was an umbrella.

You allotted yourself 15 minutes to do yourself up. You raced down the stairs and threw on your rain boots before leaving. The place that he mentioned was familiar to you. The settlement of Jackson was surprisingly big. Despite having seen the circumference of it’s walls when you were out patrolling on a high hill, from within, the settlement felt bigger; there was still so much to discover inside its nooks and crannies. In the far southwest portion of Jackson there grew a small conglomeration of willow trees; all of them were willows. It was a stark difference to the usual maple and pine that grew pretty much everywhere else. It was technically too small to be considered a forest, but it was still a significant amount of land and it was left undiscovered by you. The house you and Joel lived in was located on the other side of Jackson, so the thought of making time to visit this place always laid dormant in the back of your mind, until Joel brought it back to the forefront. You stopped at the stable and grabbed your favorite horse, desiring to get to the willows as fast as you could.

With one hand on the reins and one holding the umbrella, you rode across Jackson. The rain was starting to pick up and the sky was getting darker. You regretted not bringing a flashlight knowing that the branches of the trees were going to block whatever light was left in the sky. Gently, you pulled on the reins to slow your animal down as you approached the area mentioned in the note.

The horse strode past willow after willow. A feeling of being lost overcame your mind. You pulled the note back out and tried to read it again under the fading light of the sky to see if there were any clues you missed. The only thing you could make out of importance was ‘inside’. Joel wrote that you could find him inside. Was there a building in this tiny, little forest? Given the fact that you expected it to rain harder later on, you hoped so.

You kept riding straight until a flicker caught your eye. It wavered between the blowing branches. You turned your horse in its direction as it entered into a galloping pace. The flicker grew into a growing glow of orange. Inside the small forest was an even smaller clearing that held a quaint brick building. The glow came from a lantern that lit the front steps and grand front door. It had the traditional architecture of a chapel. You looked up and could barely make out the little bell tower and the cross stationed above it.

You slid off the horse and tied her down under the awning on the side of the chapel. You gathered the fabric of your dress in your hands and walked up the steps and opened the heavy doors. Your presence was announced with the sound of a large creak. It was completely bright on the inside; the pews and altar lit by the glow of dozens of candles.

Joel lifted his head at the sound of the door opening. He was facing the altar next to the minister before turning around to find you at the other end of the aisle shaking the rain off your umbrella. He kept his gaze on you until your eyes lifted to meet his. It was at this point you took in his appearance. Joel was wearing the cleanest button down you’d ever seen him in. A small amount of chest hair peaked out from the top where he left it unbuttoned. It was tucked into a pair of black jeans.

He recognized a flash of nervousness in your body language, but it soon melted after a few moments of holding your gaze. Joel silently spoke to you in his head. He asked you to stay, beckoning you to meet him at the end of the aisle. As if you heard his voice and not just the light tapping of rain on the roof, you slowly began to walk. You focused on putting one foot in front of the other but for Joel, it appeared as though you were floating toward him. He leaned his weight on one leg and tucked his thumb under his belt as he watched on. Once you made it in front of him, you noticed that he even trimmed his beard and brushed his hair back. The minister settled in his place in front of the two of you. His eyes bounced from you to Joel and back to you. A smile tugged at his lips as he watched the two of you gaze lovingly at each other.

Joel cleared his throat, breaking the moment. “This is Reverend Gabriel. Rev, this is (Y/N).”

He bows his head in your direction. “Absolute pleasure to put a face to the person Mr. Miller here has spoken so highly of.”

You smile bashfully in response. “Nice to meet you as well. I’m sorry we haven’t met before. I thought I knew everybody in Jackson.”

“Oh, I don’t live here. I’m from a much smaller settlement right outside Cheyenne. I travel from time to time with our merchants to different places. This is the first time I came with them to trade in Jackson. That’s how I met Joel.” He patted him on the back. “He spotted me in my clerical robes and asked me to preside over this matrimony. I like to think it was divine intervention that led our paths to cross.” His face wrinkled when he smiled. “Now, let's get onto the fun part.” He proceeded to open his bible.

The reverend started by reciting a passage on what it means to love. You took Joel’s hands in yours. They were rough and clammy, but you still loved holding them because they belonged to him. Reverend Gabriel then asked the two of you to repeat the vows that he spoke. The moment seemed so surreal to you; it was almost like you were sitting in one of the pews watching this take place like a scene in a play. He gave your hand a squeeze as the words flowed from your mouth, grounding you in reality. After reciting his vows, Reverend Gabriel asked to see the rings. You took off the one Joel gave you only a week ago and handed it to him. In turn, he handed it to Joel.

He took his hand away for a moment to wipe it on his pants before taking yours in his again. “I give you this ring as a sign of my love. With it, we become one.” He slid it back in its rightful place before turning to the minister. He expected him to carry on with the last part of the ceremony; the part he was most excited for.

“I give this ring as a sign of my love. With it, we become one.” You repeated as you picked his hand up and held the ring you chose for him in your other. You knew Joel didn’t have a ring for himself. It wasn’t made of any precious metal, but of wood. It was engraved with a simple design and polished over. You requested the custom order from one of the carpenters in Jackson. “I hope it fits.” You whispered as you slid it on his ring finger.

Joel raised his eyebrows as it slid on perfectly. “I guess I’m not the only one with surprises, huh?” He joked. He had this sudden urge to kiss you, but withheld himself as he waited for the reverend to finish.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal the matrimony with a kiss.”

Joel gently laid his hands on your cheeks and reached down for your lips. You met him in the middle by pushing yourself up on the tip of your toes. The one kiss turned into another just as a clap of thunder sounded. You pulled away and looked toward the doors. Joel thanked the reverend one last time before grabbing your hand and pulling you back down the aisle. As you grabbed your umbrella, a flash of lightning lit up the interior of the chapel far brighter than the candles. Joel told you that it was time to go because the storm was less than a mile out. The two of you needed to find shelter and the chapel, as quaint and beautiful as it was, was not the place he wanted to spend his wedding night with you. He told you to wait on the porch as he brought the horse around. You could hear her whine uncontrollably, scared from the deep boom of the thunder. Joel stood in front of her, getting drenched, trying to calm her down before untying her, but it was no use. She pulled at the rope that had gotten tangled around her neck causing her to flail about even more. He pulled out a dagger and risked getting kicked to cut her loose. She bolted past him and into the darkness, almost knocking him down into the mud. He rounded the corner to the front of the chapel and held his hand out for you to take. He told you to come on in his southern drawl over the sound of a lightning strike. He wrapped his arm around your waist as you tried to cover both of your heads with the umbrella.

All of a sudden, the winds and rain picked up. The only light to guide the two of you came from the strikes of lightning. The umbrella quickly became a formality as the wind seemed to blow the rain sideways, causing it to drench your clothes all the same. It was the beginning of summer but the wind on your wet skin was sending chills up and down your body. Joel was able to guide you out of the willow trees, but the challenge was not over yet. After minutes of running in one direction, you spotted a tiny shelter from the corner of your eye. Immediately, you tugged on his arm and pulled him into its direction. You didn’t care if it was someone’s shed or another stable, you were desperate for a roof to be over your head, even if only to catch your breath. As the two of you got closer, you realized that it was a greenhouse. You knew that the gardeners used it mainly in the fall and winter. You whipped the glass door open and pulled him in before shutting it back against the wind. Your wet clothes clung to your body as your back slid down the door. You began to notice the stark difference in environment as you sat there catching your breath. The air was balmy and sticky with humidity. It was so thick, you could almost cut through it. You got up and walked past a row of plant beds while your new husband picked up a box of matches to light a couple of lanterns.

Impatient and uncomfortable, you peeled the dress off your body. You wrung out the water and hung it on a hook. You were in nothing but your rain boots and he still hadn’t noticed yet. He coughed as he beat the dirt and dust off of a blanket he found hidden in a chest. He turned, expecting to wrap it around you when he saw you bare and all. He was frozen, as if he’d never seen you like that before. You walked up to him, grabbed the blanket and gently laid it on the ground. He watched as you proceeded to position yourself on it. You glanced up at him and patted the space in front of you, waiting for him to come to you.

Clothes still sticking to his body, he sat across from you on the blanket. He pulled your legs onto his lap and pulled off your boots one by one. You leaned back on your elbows as he began to massage your calves and feet. You enjoyed the sensation but quickly became sick of the fact that he was still clothed. You slipped your foot from his hands and in one quick motion, sat up on your knees and crawled closer to him. Tenderly, you pushed him down until his back hit the blanket. You straddled his waist and reached for the buttons on this shirt. Slowly, you revealed his skin underneath; it glistened in a mix of sweat and rain. He pulled it all the way off as you began on his pants. His hands shadowed yours as you slid them off. You had barely touched him and already he was half stiff.

Joel pushed himself up to meet your lips but you denied him. You let out a breathy chuckle at his attempt to capture them again. He opened his eyes to give you his famous glare and it was at that point you couldn’t deny him any longer. You slid your fingers behind his neck and raked your nails through his hair before leaning in to kiss him. He pulled your body flush against his, your torsos sticking to each other, giving his fingers room to slide up and down the indent of your back. His touch left a trail of goosebumps on your sensitive skin. Still propped up on your knees, your entrance was mere inches from his middle. You let one of his hands cup your cheek for a moment before you grasped his wrist and moved it away. Joel watched as you licked and sucked at the pulse point on his wrist. You couldn’t explain why, but feeling him pulse against you, regardless of where on the body, made you more aroused. He let out a low, guttural groan at the sight and rolled his hips up to let you know that he was now standing at full attention.

“Tell me you need me.” You whispered in his ear.

Joel cupped your cheek with his other hand. “You have no idea how much I need you, darlin’.” His eyes grew soft yet still held the same level of lust from when he turned around and saw you naked before him.

You reached down and gave him one long stroke before guiding it inside you. You rolled your hips up and down, never letting his cock completely leave your warmth. It began as a slow and steady pace because you reveled in the sensation of your walls being stretched out. He hissed when you finally surrounded his full length. His lips and tongue found themselves attached to your collarbone. Your nails drew patterns on his scalp all the way down to the back of his neck, marking him. After a few moments, he leaned back a little, taking your body with him, to angle himself inside you.

“Right there!” You said after letting out an unexpected moan.

Joel tried out a combination of different rhythms until he heard that beautiful sound leave your mouth. After he was sure he found your spot, he steadied himself with one hand on the ground and the other behind your neck. The sound of sticky, wet skin slapping against each other as he picked up the speed set the tone against the stormy night. Every so often, Joel’s grunts would intermingle with the rest as his desires to go harder and deeper fought with his tired muscles. As much as he loved the position, his arms were beginning to ache. The last thing he wanted to do was give in to the weariness of his body on his wedding night. With a grunt, he shifted his body enough to lay you down and hover over. Only leaving your warmth for a moment, he lifted your hips, causing your legs to naturally find their place over his shoulders. With his hands practically gripping your ass, Joel swiveled his hips, letting his member slide up and down your slit before entering. As soon as he bottomed out, he took no time to pick up the pace. His grip continued to hold you still as he thrusted in and out of your tight entrance. The whole scene was erotic to him. He could barely keep his eyes off of you and the way you reacted to his touch, but he also enjoyed the view below him. Watching his cock slide in and out of you covered in the juices you produced. Under the soft glow of the lanterns, he noticed how everything seemed to glisten, from his cock to your face.

Joel felt his member tightening with pressure and he was ready to explode, but he knew you, knew your body and you weren’t there yet. You let out a hiss after you began to massage your sensitive bud below. He gazed down at you as your other hand pinched and caressed your nipples. In that moment, Joel wished that he had another pair of hands to do it for you but he had to settle for watching the view before him. A smirk grew on his face as he told you to move your hand away from your clit. You frowned but did as you were told. Joel began to rock his hips in a new motion, allowing his pelvis to graze and push against it every time he slid back into you.

Still ready to burst, he found relief in knowing that you were close too. You didn’t have to say it, even though you did. Your walls only needed to contract around him once for his composer to break, but still he held strong. He was sure that he looked like a starved animal in that moment because of the pulsating veins that popped up across his body. He was right; you noticed his lack of release and knew exactly why. Your thumb followed the line of the vein on his arm.

You nodded your head. “I want you to cum inside me.”

With your words, he found relief. He let out this long awaited breathy moan that laid dormant in the pit of his stomach. The sensation of him spilling inside you heightened your arousal and caused you to pulsate around him quicker. Sloppily, he continued to thrust into you before stopping completely. Gingerly, he pulled out and watched as a mix of his and your cum dribbled out of you. He laid your legs down onto the blanket and did the same. Your bodies were nothing but a sticky mess and still Joel wrapped his arms around you to pull you in.

#TLOU #TLOU II #TLOU 2 #Joel Miller #the last of us joel #joel x reader #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #tlou joel #joel x fem!reader #naughty dog #the last of us #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #video games

22 notes · View notes