#pain happens in life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kathaynesart · 4 months

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And now watch it all fall apart.

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Thank you everyone for your patience as I recuperate from Covid. I tested negative and am now just recuperating from the lasting effects. Honestly, this update is one I probably could have skipped, but I love me a good heist plan. Plus I just wanted to have some fun with this holiday special and if that means extending it a bit longer, then so be it.

#spoiler: it wasn't pee #I don't think Donnie has ever been called a stupid man in his entire life #it's the people closest to us that hurt us the most #both disaster twins using questionable methods to coerce others #poor Drax #never poor Kendra #even in the bad future Drax is still a lunch lady #Agent Bitch-up #what happens in Shanghai stays in Shanghai #rottmnt replica #replica #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #kathaynesart #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt #pregnancy #cw language #labor pain

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 days

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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

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lexiesdarkthoughts · 2 years

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Staying in My Own Lane

This is a long post that I have debated for over three weeks if I wanted to post. If nothing else, I’ve always been honest on my blog. It’s always been a way for me to process some of my thoughts. If you make it to the end, then thank you for hanging on for the ride.

A long time ago, I met someone who I thought was someone I could spend my life with. He was witty, charming, funny, and good looking. He made me smile, laugh, and turned me on in ways I didn’t know possible. We were in a long distance relationship online. At the time, things seemed like they would lead to a wonderful future. However, there was one downside to this relationship. He was married.

When we met, he told me he was leaving his wife. Through our relationship that was his common statement. I took comfort that it would happen eventually. When it did, after a respectable time, we would be able to begin our life together. He never left his wife despite how horrible his marriage was, at least from what he told me. He had bounced in an out of online relationships as an escape for his marriage, which in hindsight, was a warning sign. I knew they had children which certainly adds another challenge to leaving a marriage. I told myself that was the reason why. I was patient. I waited. I hoped.

Eventually, things ended because he felt that he needed to give his marriage full and final shot. I understood, but was devastated. I had spent years with this man as a lover and as a friend. Suddenly and with little warning, he was completely gone from my life. I eventually moved on as we all do.

In moving on, I began to realize that maybe he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was. He made me his mistress for years and made me dream of a future together. I know there are people in this exact situation and it has worked out. I also know that I was complicit in our relationship and made the choice to be with a married man. Those are choices I made. I had to live with the consequences of those actions.

He’s come back into my life since we parted as a newly divorced man. We lived hours from each other at this point and it really threw me for a loop. However, I was with just beginning a relationship with Ahab at that time and my ex showed no interest in me other than occasionally chatting. That’s when it dawned on me that he had no idea the negative impact he had on me. He didn’t understand his continuing presence in my life only drove nails in further.

I eventually took the opportunity to tell him. I thought it would make me feel better. I thought it would cleanse some past resentment and hurt. He confirmed that he had no clue how much he had hurt me and didn’t remember half of what I did about our relationship. Instead of getting the closure I had hoped for, it hurt me even more. It felt like I had meant nothing to him. It drove home the fact that I had been a welcome distraction from his marriage and he likely never meant a word about the future we had planned together. Since then, I have cut him out of my life.

So what’s the point of this post? He’s on Tumblr and I learned recently that he was dating some one which is to be expected. Curiosity is a bitch and I naturally checked out her Tumblr as well. She seems like an absolutely lovely person who reminds me of me in a lot of ways. I know you’re saying “people have types, Lexie.” They do. Ahab definitely has some good traits and habits of men I’ve dated in the past. That’s not the point of this. The point is I’ve struggled so hard to not reach out to the woman.

“Why would you do that?” you ask. It’s a fair question and an answer I’ve struggled with. I know it’s not out of malice or wanting to hurt him. My life has been in a lot of turmoil lately. My mental health has been on a roller coaster due to stress and a lot of change. When I’m like this, I don’t always see straight. I also see a lot of similarities between myself and this woman with this man, all they way down to a long distance relationship. I fear that this woman with so much potential will give up her life for this man. I feel like I have to protect her. It’s a pitiful answer, I know.

Fortunately, the clearer light of day has prevailed. I know that no good can come from me speaking to her. It’s their relationship. Period. She has to make decisions for herself. As far as I know, he is not physically abusive so I feel no responsibility to make her aware of this. As much as I want to protect her from the hurt I experienced, people have to make their own decisions and sometimes their own mistakes.

Through this, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve carried around the trauma of a previously abusive relationship for a long time and I now understand that I also carry emotional hurt from this relationship as well. One of the downsides of mental illness is that you forget nothing. I need to work harder on processing these emotions so they don’t consume me when I’m already weighed down by life. While I also know I will carry these experiences forever, dwelling on them takes away from my own relationship with Ahab. It takes mental space that I could be dedicating to him and other avenues of my life.

My hope in writing this post is that I will be able to clear the noise in my head. I also hope that stating my intentions will keep me honest and in my own lane. I want to refocus my energies away from this. I’m tired of letting him live rent free in my head. I know I won’t forget. I don’t think I’m ready to forgive. What I can do is get my thoughts out and move forward with healing. Every day is a new step toward that and it’s time to focus on that direction.

#personal #relationships #pain happens in life #minding my own business #time to focus on me

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zeroducks-2 · 9 months

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When I see Jason and Bruce acting like the stereotypical "prodigal son and gruff but loving father" (in canon!) my blood boils.

Jason died. Bruce did not avenge him, not even "playing by the rules", so not even by arresting the Joker. He didn't do JACK SHIT after his boy was murdered. And once Jason came back, Bruce slit his throat in order to save the life of the man who murdered him, and then left him to die in a burning building.

They should be unable to coexist in the same room let alone speak let alone have a "difficult but ultimately loving relationship". I hate you DC I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE

#the enormous injustice of what happened to Jason is hard to even process #he's one of the most mistreated mainstream characters I've ever seen (as in mistreated by the writers and directors)#this boy died and his family didn't lift a finger and suddenly he comes back and everything is his fault #it's his fault for dying it's his fault for being traumatized it's his fault for suffering it's his fault for being angry it's HIS FAULT #while Bruce keeps being heroic and stoic and in the right even if he slits a boy's neck in order to save his murderer's life #because how dare Jason demand love and demand justice and demand his pain to be seen and heard and acknowledged #aaarghbgvnhgrghenvvfkj I know this is nothing new but I'm hella stressed so this is going to be my emotional outlet for today apparently #bruce wayne #jason todd #my meta

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petricorah · 1 year

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zuko alone pt 2

lovingly inspired by this [ids in alt]

#zuko #sokka #zukka #zukka fanart #myart #sokka leaving aka the light in zukos life leaving #i imagine this is right before a confession but something happens and sokka decides to go home permanently and they both can't say how they #feel even though it's almost understood because it's too painful #when i first drafted this sokka's hair wasn't nearly as long but then i got carried away because of canon long haired sokka #after i drafted this i actually came up with a longer form one that's more faithful to the inspiration so maybe i'll do that someday.#where they're actually dating already but the love just. isn't enough for their duty #drawing sokka without his necklace is weird. like he's nakey #sokka fanart #atla fanart #atla #avatar the last airbender #can this be divorced zukka if they were never together? tagging anyway in case people have angst blocked #divorced zukka

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luxshua · 1 year

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The winners of the life series all had their own ways of winning:

1. Grian loyalty, playing into every one of Scar's schemes no matter how stupid they seemed. His win came from blood and tears, a descion made surronded by sand and cacti.

2. Scott defiance, he was never going to play the game the way it was designed. Why would he take life needlessly, no his win came from the refusal to do the watchers bidding.

3. Pearl alone, discarded by her soulmate, discarded by the one who pulled her into the nether in the first place. She won with her ties cut, she won not of her own descion but of the one who decided for her.

4. Martyn scavenger, taking time where most convient, stealing kills from right under peoples noses. His win came when even his trusted ally had his guard down, feral and desperate for just a drop more time, even if it left him frenzied and alone.

#the life series #trafficblr #limited life #grian #pearlescentmoon #inthelittlewood #scott smajor #life series spoilers #limited life episode 8 #just a little thought i had in my head watching martyn's last episode #they all had their own unique ways of winning their games #god the theories the angst the pain you can pull from this series its magnificent #i live this series so much #i dont think their series would hit the same if it was all scripted #something about coincidences and pattersn reameraging organically hits so different #it leads into some of the most impactful moments #some of the best reactions #because no one knows it will happen till it does #2 years of one of the best minecraft series ever #till the next one o7 #and martyn if you end up reading this nice win i was rooting for you from the start #might actually put together a martyn cosplay finally been planning to for 2 years now 😭

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orcelito · 5 months

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showing off the commission i got from @ruporas for my fic, In the Next Life!

i'm still so incredibly excited about this. it's been some months since the story event that caused these scars, but i wanted SO BADLY to be able to see what they'd actually Look like... & Here They Are.

ruporas rendered the scars So Well, i just cant stop Looking at them... there's a Fresh & a Healed version, which ruporas was kind enough to give me without additional charge (Thank U Again😭😭) so i get to see what it looks like at different stages.

Lichtenberg Figures. in terms of actual scarring, lightning strikes that people survive don't tend to leave permanent scars, but the lichtenberg figures that they (usually temporarily) leave behind are just So Cool... Now, what happens when you get someone who can survive an amount of electricity/lightning that would be Frankly Lethal to any normal human person?

This :]

#speculation nation #trigun #vash the stampede #vash #in the next life #itnl shit #itnl art #there's a certain amount of Suspension Of Disbelief surrounding this whole injury #do i think it's necessarily realistic? not really. but the fun thing about fiction (especially for a nonhuman character like vash) is #I Do What I Want.#and so i DID shoot him with (what shouldve been) a lethal amount of lightning and it DID leave him with (what wouldve been) 4th degree burn #but his healing ability is fucking insane so it really only put him out of commission for a week or so #functionally. he's still dealing with pain from it though (not that he's gonna admit That to anyone) but yeah #im so in love with how ruporas drew the scars overlapping. he mentioned he did research for it and MAN it really paid off #and. man. vash really does look Chewed the Fuck Up huh #ultimately tho just one more scar for the collection! it just happens to be.. the most extensive single scar lol #but he'll be fiiine he's totally fiiine (pay no attention to the world-weary look in his eyes)(he's totally fine guys everything is Fine)#alternate caption for this commission piece: Chewing on him Chewing on him Chewing on him #god ruporas's art is so fuckin good. best money ive ever spent

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calmbigdipper · 6 months

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❀ 25-ji’s new outfits! ❀

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kimdokjas · 12 days

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How precious it is to be with trustworthy partners in our life.

happy birthday, sin! ♡ @mx-sinisters

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stil-lindigo · 1 year

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the parade.

a short comic about when love dies slow.

support me on patreon

Things you may have missed:

#i think that like #the pain of losing someone you love slowly is so much worse than having a relationship die instantly #its such a helpless feeling #and one thing i hope i conveyed in this is like the part where you question yourself as its happening #i don't know how to tag this really #comics #thats one thing #emotional #i can only hope it tugs a few heartstrings #starting my new comic project off hopefully strong with this one #ive had the poem part of this in my notes app for a while now #im glad i put pen to paper and brought it to life #thank you for reading #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics #its 10pm

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icarrymany · 11 days

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the mh comics open up such an interesting narrative for our few surviving characters. to them, what happened in the videos was real, but to everyone else its a cool creative web series. when all of that is viewed as fiction, fans have a freedom to speculate about and invade the lives and privacy of real people. and that would be so uncomfortable and terrifying. imagine someone irl having headcanons about YOU. writing fan fiction about you and your real friends. assuming things about you PUBLICLY ! IN MASS!

wouldnt it be so cool to see a character grapple with that in like a self-reflective way? fans asking questions the muse is too afraid to ask themselves. of course, theyre the only person the answer matters to.

#like wouldnt it be so strange not only to see the terrible things that happened to u have a FANBASE #but also people wondering about the intricacies of your personal life (they view you as a character and have no idea it was real)#and youre disgusted and afraid of prying eyes #but at the same time #you never think about yourself much anyways (too painful) and realize you might HAVE TO if ur gonna be okay with what happened #spoilers um this is about. jam.#tim never took the time to deconstruct how he felt in the moment because he was trying not to die #even if he concludes he harbored some feelings (like people online suspect) what would he even do with that?#he can never go back and change it. but he can say it to himself. its something for him that nobody else NEEDS to know #but now he can understand himself a little better n form new connections #its like a culmination of my hatred for some fans NEED for things to be canon when its much more fun to leave stuff open-ended #and also my love for media adressing this in a way that actually says something abt the way we consume it #yall seen the craig and tweek episode of south park? yeah.

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colourme-feral · 3 days

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Random notes on the translation of Kare no Iru Seikatsu / Living with Him ep 3

This much is fine; Kazuhito kun is here after all.

He can do whatever he chooses to do.

He's really the most perfect of perfect. On top of that, he even took part in Koshien (notes here)

Damn/wow, he's even mentally tough. 'Perfect (this)', 'perfect (that)'. You're saying that too much

Ryo kun, are things are going well (with Kazuhito)?

But I absolutely don't want to force things. I want to prioritise how you feel.

It's not that I need an answer or anything like that. I'm just letting you know that this is just how it is for me. That's all it is.

Even though this is how I am feeling, I don't even understand it very well.

But maybe it's because we're close and all...

So (I) said (we) wouldn't *It would be closer to: I told you we wouldn't (kiss), didn't I? Note: Japanese leaves out a lot of words and favours context, as the sentence above shows

If you (Ryota) are fine with it, I don't mind things as they are Note: Japanese relies on context and leaves out subjects, so Kazuhito says そのままで, which means as things are, but it isn't specific about what exactly that is.

I wasn't planning on saying anything, but (I got) found out anyway *That was subject free 🤡🤡

Wait, before sleeping, shall we do it? What? Note: Much like in English, the verb, 'やる', which means do, can be used in an innocuous way or to suggest sex, which is why Ryota is taken aback

This type of relationship where I have nowhere to escape to; I've already told you I like you... (Kazuhito is going through things thanks to his unrequited feelings and Ryota's attempts at making Kazuhito feel better or things less awkward between them are just making it harder for Kazuhito who is unable to get away Ryota, whom he lives with, or from his feelings for Ryota.)

(... I mean,) things are hard for you too, huh... Note: Ryota says "つか", which is kind of a continuation of a thought or conversation in this case, which relates to how put together and perfect Kazuhito tries to present himself.

What is this half asleep behaviour? Note: A closer translation may be 'what are you half asleeping', which makes little sense.

Kare no Iru Seikatsu / Living with Him language notes・Other language notes

#i feel like since i'm making these translation notes. i'm paying attention more to what's happening and the words used.#truly living the no thoughts; head empty life over here lol #kare no iru seikatsu #living with him #language my love my pain

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irlplasticlamb · 1 year

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i’m so sorry if i seem a bit off or post less in the next week or so — i just found out my beloved 17 years old soulmate cat got diagnosed with bone cancer and he doesn’t have much time left. he lives in my family home with my parents still whilst i’m abroad so it’s double tough because i can’t be with him. i just need some time to calm down and make my peace with everything

#vic.txt #i’m just so damn sad he’s my most beloved boy i got him when i was fucking 7 #we grew up together i cried with him i laughed with him he’s been my companion my number one boy for my entire life #i know it’s silly like yeah it’s a cat not a human being but we formed such a strong bond #when i had c0vid last year he lied with me all day all night #i love him i love him i’m so fucking mad at the universe he does not deserve this fate #and he’s so old the treatment isn’t really an option #he’s fine now he isn’t in pain but as soon as his cancer progresses he will have to be put down so he doesn’t suffer for nothing #i just want to be with him when that happens i want him to know he’s not alone and that i love him very much #txt #tw: animal death #tw: animal sickness

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tubchunk · 5 months

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did anyone else notice how all the time today, q!tubbo was doing dangerous stuff with no proper safety or armor? he fell off the side of the hole TWICE to the point of being knocked and he had to be saved by sunny, when tallulah dropped the picture, he jumped STRAIGHT DOWN without using the glider. he kept doing dangerous stuff without any real protection....

like it is clear now: he is NOT okay, he is barely hanging on since the funeral, even though he said he needs to close that chapter of his life for his daughter's sake. i wouldn't be surprised if he just grows more and more reckless, making sure everyone around him is safe while he keeps throwing himself into more and more dangerous situations without proper safety. that downward spiral has been happening slowly.

but i think its about to accelerate.

#qtubbo lore today was the worst (best) thing to ever happen to me #like i am not the same person i was before 6pm gmt #mans came in saying “i wanted to mess around with storytelling again” and pulled out THE MOST HEARTBREAKING SHIT EVER #LIKE THIS IS STRAIGHT UP DEPRESSING #he knows that fred was the only one to ever take him seriously. to care about what he wanted. and now he's gone #and he's going to close this chapter of his life and push all the grief and rage and pain down because he has a daughter to take care of no #he has to be there for her. not for himself but for her #q!tubbo the character you are #qsmp #qsmp tubbo

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ansatsu-sha · 3 months

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