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icanseethefuture333 · 3 months

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PAC: What your pretty self needs to hear for Valentine's Day ♡

Your heart's message to you + a message from your secret admirer 💌

They say the truth ain't pretty, but coming from that pretty mouth

The truth is fitting, cause you ain't ever talkin' loud

And you know plenty

Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about

Cause you just get me

Yeah, you so pretty... ♡

Pile 1:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Girl by Destiny's Child

Far by SZA

I MISS YOU SO BAD by iKON

The Lovers, Seven of Cups, & Three of Cups

So what your heart wishes to tell to you is that there is still love out there. You may have previously gotten over an ex, a past crush, or you are in the process of recovering from a break up. In the song "Far" SZA asks Sadhguru how to deal with rejection, in which he responds, "That's great! If nobody wants you then you're free." You have to look on the bright side of things. You also have to know what your worth is. No one else can define your worth but you. You have to be secure with who you are as a person. No one can love the parts you need to heal from. Once you feel fulfilled with who you are as a person. That is when you can form healthy connection with others. I believe you still are hoping for you and this person to get back together but you are hurting yourself even more by obsessing over this person (was going to say focus but instead I heard obsess). Reflect on your current situation and ask yourself, "What wound is this person triggering in me?". What do you need to move on from? To take care of your heart you should do some self reflection. Journaling and shadow work would help provide some clarity. Your heart asks you to not fall back into old habits. Self love is important for your growth, pile 1!

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Time To Love by Red Velvet

Changes by Jeff Bernat

I Think I'm Falling by KOHH

Wallflower, New Love, & Union

There is a new love coming in for you! This person could be shy and likes to admire you from afar. They could be self conscious about some things about themselves as well. The feelings seem to be mutual here. There could be a new crush that you like and wish to speak to, but are to nervous to ask them out of fear of rejection. Don't fret! Confessing your feelings helps build courage. If the person rejects you, then that just means there isnsomeone else better out there for you. It is not the end of the world just because you got rejected. Have a little more confidence in yourself, you are great, pile 1! Regardless, I see you and this secret admirer actually being intimate. Things could develop into something more serious with this union card. So make sure to be open to this energy and give them a chance at love ♡

Pile 2:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Mine by Slayyyter

ANTIFRAGILE by LE SSERAFIM

Post To Be by Omarion ft. Chris Brown & Jhené Aiko

Four of Cups, Eight of Wands, & The Fool

Your heart does not want to be tied down at the moment! I believe it has plenty of love to give lol. You also have no problem with turning people down or vice versa. You are looking for a fling and just wish to have a casual relationship! You could have a lot of options in love and would like to explore things romantically, maybe even sexually. Your heart suggests that you focus on your happiness and learn what pleases you. Love does not always have to be serious. Sometimes short lived romances have the best stories to tell! You will be feeling very confident and sexy in your romantic endeavors.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Boys Wanna Be Her by Peaches

No Flex Zone by Rae Sremmurd

STUCK IN MY HEAD by Twice

Open Relationship, Mature Woman, & Fun Times

This secret admirer of yours is honestly hilarious 😭. I kept getting meme songs and I hs to shuffle again to get a proper message. This could be my queer pile as well 🏳️‍🌈. I'm getting Renee Rapp vibes from your secret admirer, Pile 2 😋. They could suit the 'girl crush' aesthetic or if it is someone who identifies as masculine, they have a very pretty face. They are open minded, flirtatious, and exciting to be around. This person wishes to tell you that you are stuck in their head! They find you to be "so fine" 😜! They would like take you out soon. I'm getting it will be a bar date or they will take you dancing at a night club.

Pile 3:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

More Than Enough by Alina Baraz

Bluffin by Brent Faiyaz

Mona Lisa by Naji ft. Monter Booker

Death, Six of Swords, & Six of Pentacles

Oh, pile 3, bless your heart 🥹. You are someone who has such a kind, gentle heart. You have the purest intentions and for that people can tell how geniune you are as a person. You could be selfless and caring towards others. You have so much love to give that it is obvious to others. I don't see any bitterness in your heart and I feel like your heart wishes to tell you how proud it is of you for being able to find forgiveness. You are leaning to let go of the people who have hurt you in the past. The essence of your spirit is so soft and it's very beautiful to witness. Your heart's message to you is that anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. So don't ever feel like you are not enough because you're more than that. You are this cup that is overflowing with love and sincerity.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

At Your Best (You Are Loved) by Aaliyah

Freaky Deaky by Tyga ft. Doja Cat

LOVE by Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari

Dating, True Love, & True Gem

Your secret admirer absolutely adores you, pile 3. They see your value as a person and they know that there is no one else like you in this world. You have so much love to give and they do as well. I am getting that they want to literally treat you like a princess/princess - just overall royalty. Their have geniune intentions as well and they would like to spoil you this Valentine's day ❤. (Channeled song: Kiss It Better by Rihanna 💋) for a few of you, you and your specific person could be separated. I see that things will turn out for the better soon. So have faith in yourself and in this person for things to work out. They could offer you some sort of proposal, love offer, or a token of their gratitude to show how much they love you. I see things would be passionate, flirty, and romantic for you and your secret admirer 🎆.

Pile 4:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Green Light by Beyoncé

Standing Next To You by Jungkook

God of Music by SEVENTEEN

Two of Pentacles, Page of Wands, & The Magician

You are such an optimistic person, pile 4! You could be someone who often gives advice to others and help others look on the bright side of things. You radiate such positive energy and it makes you a joy to be around. You could be someone who knows what they want and goes after it. You know how to balance your heart with your brain. Intuitive but also logical. People wonder how you are able to turn your ideas into reality. Your heart's message to you is to keep going after your goals and not let anyone distract you from your dreams. As long as you are happy that is all that matters. Your heart also wishes to tell you that whatever makes you light up inside is meant for you. Whatever your heart is set on whether that's a new job, house, etc. You have the ability to manifest whatever you desire.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Phone Me by Che Ecru

Novacane by Frank Ocean

Own It by Drake

Passion, Friendship, & Communication

For some of you, you could be currently in a "situationship" or have a FWB with someone. While for others, your secret admirer is possibly a friend of yours. This person is conflicted on how to approach you. You may receive a text or phone call from them soon where they ask you about your relationship with another. They could ask you how you feel about them or drop hints that they are attracted to you. The ball is in your park, pile 4, if you decide to be more than just friends with this person.

Pile 5:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Girl Like Me by Alexa Demie

Fulfillment? By Kilo Kish

Baddie by IVE

Eight of Cups, Two of Cups, & Seven of Swords

I am getting like "manic pixie dream girl" vibes from you, Pile 2. Something about you is hard to pin point to others. Mysterious but also so enchanting. You know you are someone who is complex but also so beautiful. You have these interesting quirks that makes you stand out and memorable to others. You are comfortable with who you as a person and it could have took you a long time to get to a place of being this self assured. You could have a child like wonder as well and it is admirable to others. You could be questioning what direction to take in life and could find "adulting" very hard but don't give up, pile 5! Everything will be okay in the end. Your heart's message to you is to learn what gives you emotional fulfillment in life. Also to not take shit from no one. What's interesting is your face could look quite sweet but you are actually feisty and have a firey spirit. There is a duality to your personality and its attractive. I am getting like Song Jia, Alexa Demie, Wonyoung, & Taylor Russell vibes from you, pile 5. Your heart wants you to embrace your confidence and focus on the abundance in your future. Do not let people drag you down and dim your light. Your heart believes it is time for some self pampering. Set your standards high in love and know that you are deserving of everything you desire. I also believe it is time to burn bridges with people who no longer serve you. How can you live the life of your dreams if other people only acknowledge the version of yourself that no longer resonates with you? If you wish to be the girl of your dreams, you have to learn to put yourself first.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Lilith by Halsey

Ditto by NewJeans

High Fashion by Roddy Rich ft. Mustard

Triangle, Travel, & Spiritual Growth

What is this Single's Inferno?! You have options, pile 5. You could have more than one secret admirer. You could be observing your current options in love and feeling "Well! Let the best person win☺️!" I see people wanting to fly you out and pay for your trips, oh my🫠. One of the people you will date could be popular or have a well known social status. You give people butterflies and some of you may know what affect you have on people, while some of you are innocent to the fact. You could receive love confessions or you may even already have. I feel like you are the type of person who receives love letters, jewelry, candies, and box of chocolates, if not you are going to be spoiled for this Valentine's day! You could meet your secret admirer(s) while traveling or when going on vacation. Your secret admirer's message to you is that they "like you" and hoping you feel the same 💕. They want to understand your love language and words of affirmations / gift giving could be one of their love languages in particular.

Pile 6:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Rose by Miyeon

Honey Dew by Lion Babe

Chanel by TiaCorine

King of Pentacles, Five of Wands, & Queen of Cups

I feel like you are at odds with your heart and brain right now, pile 6. You seem to feel confused about a decision you have to make. I believe you could think things are "sweeter" in other people's lives but that is not necessarily true. I know sometimes we can want what other people have but if it gets to the point of comparing yourselves to others then its not healthy. You have to remember to be grateful for what you have in life. It's okay to want the finer things, but what are you overlooking when you are doing that? Your heart's message to you is to not worry about what other people are doing in life and instead focus on what makes you great of a person. You are just as lovable, sweet, and beautiful.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Congratulations by Mac Miller ft. Bilal

Little Things by Sunni Colón

Aura by Mariah The Scientist

Work, Money, & Long Distance

I believe you and this person are already in a relationship. If not, your secret admirer will be the next person you end up in a romantic relationship with. This person could live further away from you and has a high paying job. They prefer to take on a traditional role of a provider. This person could have a hard time discussing their feelings though and shows their love through acts of services. While you, I feel you are more of an emotional person. You both could have a hard time expressing your feelings and thoughts properly to each other, which would cause conflict. Things might be tense for Valentine's Day. You and your secret admirer could have strong feelings for each other, but there needs to be an important conversation had in order for this relationship to progress. Both of you could be disheartened by this but there's hope! Try to appreciate the little things in your relationship and not focus on being the "perfect couple", for that does not exist. Every relationship has its flaws and all that matters is that you and you partner love each other very much. If it's meant to be, it will be, it won't be something you have to force, it'll come naturally.

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codename-adler · 6 months

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who’s ur baby? ur bestest babe?

edit: removed the Kevaaron option bc it was skewing the results and i personally don't consider it a rarepair anymore, considering the amount of fics they got on ao3 + kandreil not an option either bc RAREpair get it?

edit 2: aftg rarepairs 2.0 here

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg poll #aftg rarepair #neil josten #kevin day #aaron minyard #jean moreau #allison reynolds #renee walker #dan wilds #matt boyd #seth gordon #riko moriyama #kevaaron

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xtra7s · 3 months

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Hi! I love your writing!! It’s so awesome to see more people writing about reneè!!! Could i request one where the reader is sick with a migraine and reneè takes care of them and it’s super fluffy and cuddly!

𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

Pairing: Renee Rapp x gn!Reader

Synopsis: Y/N wakes up and makes breakfast for them and Renee, ignoring a raging migraine.

Content: Migraines, thats about it. FLUFFFFF

Word Count: 1.3k

masterlist

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, a gentle ray of sunlight catching her across the face. A soft smile lit up her features as she turned, gazing at the sleeping figure nestled beside her - Renee. But the smile faltered almost instantly. A dull ache throbbed behind her right eye, radiating towards her temple like a tightening vice. A migraine.

Y/N knew the familiar signs all too well. Usually, such mornings meant curling up in a cocoon of blankets, darkness, and silence. But today, she had promised Renee pancakes for breakfast, and reneging wasn't an option.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N gently disentangled herself from Renee's sleeping form, careful not to disturb her. Determined to surprise Renee with a delicious breakfast, Y/N pushed through the pain, hoping the aroma of pancakes would distract from the discomfort. Tiptoeing to the bathroom, she brushed her teeth hastily, pulling on a large t-shirt over her bra and heading to the kitchen.

The kitchen became a symphony of hushed sounds - the soft click of the kettle, the gentle sizzle of batter hitting the pan, the faint hum of the refrigerator. Each movement was deliberate, and every sound was kept to a minimum. Even the aroma of the pancakes was slightly muted, replaced by the intense throb in her head.

But as the batter bubbled on the griddle, a quiet joy started to bloom within Y/N. The act of creating, of nurturing, was something Y/N loved to do for Renee. Each pancake flipped was a small victory, a testament to her determination not to let the migraine win.

Renee, still blissfully unaware of Y/N's struggle, entered the kitchen with a sleepy smile. "Good morning, love," she greeted, wrapping her arms around Y/N from behind.

"Morning," Y/N replied, attempting to muster enthusiasm despite the pounding in their head. "I made pancakes for us."

Renee's eyes sparkled with delight as she took in the spread on the table. The aroma of freshly cooked pancakes and the sight of syrup cascading down the stack made her mouth water. Y/N, however, fought to keep their composure, the pain threatening to overwhelm them.

The smile on Renee's face, the warmth in her eyes as she took a bite, was worth more than any pain reliever.

"These are amazing," Renee murmured, her voice thick with sleep and appreciation.

Y/N smiled back, the ache in her head momentarily forgotten. "I'm glad."

Y/N tried to maintain a facade of normalcy, "How's your night?" they asked, trying to divert attention from their own discomfort.

Renee, taking a bite of the pancakes, noticed something off in Y/N's demeanor. Concern furrowed her brow as she observed Y/N wince, their hand instinctively reaching for their temple.

"Everything okay, baby?" Renee inquired, her voice laced with worry. Y/N forced a smile, attempting to downplay the situation. "Just a little headache, nothing to worry about."

Renee, however, was not easily convinced. She reached across the table, gently placing a hand on Y/N's forehead. "You feel warm. Are you sure you're okay?"

Y/N's shoulders slumped, the facade crumbling under Renee's caring touch. "Honestly, mama I've got a killer migraine. I wanted to make this morning special, but it seems my head had other plans."

Concern deepened in Renee's eyes, and without hesitation, she stood up, walking over to the pantry. "Don't fuckin move, I got you." Renee shuffles around the house, grabbing different things before dimming the lights in the kitchen and living room.

Returning with a cold pack and a glass of water, Renee placed them in front of Y/N. "Ice pack for your head and some water. Let's take care of you first."

Grateful for Renee's understanding, Y/N accepted the provisions. As they sat together, Renee's hand gently rubbing circles on Y/N's back, the warmth of love replaced the ache of the migraine. Despite the initial disappointment, the morning turned into a different kind of special—one where care and concern took center stage.

With the ice pack soothing the throbbing in Y/N's head, Renee continued to shower them with love and care. She settled down next to Y/N, her touch gentle and comforting. Renee's fingers traced comforting patterns on Y/N's arm as they leaned into her warm embrace.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Renee whispered, pressing a tender kiss on Y/N's temple. "Even with a migraine, you went through all this trouble just to make breakfast for us."

Y/N couldn't help but smile, grateful for Renee's understanding. "you're worth it," they replied, their voice filled with affection.

Renee chuckled softly, her fingers threading through Y/N's hair. "And you're worth taking care of. Let me pamper you a bit."

She retrieved a soft blanket from the living room and draped it over Y/N's shoulders. Renee then fetched a cup of soothing tea, knowing it helps with migraines. "Sip on this. It might help with the headache," she suggested, handing the warm mug to Y/N.

As Y/N sipped the tea, Renee continued her efforts to make them comfortable. She adjusted the cushions, made a little cacoon of blankets, and turned on Y/N's favorite show. Renee's actions spoke volumes, expressing her genuine concern and desire to make Y/N feel better.

Cuddling closer, Renee whispered sweet words of reassurance. "I hate seeing you in pain, but I love being here for you. You're so strong, baby."

The warmth of Renee's affection gradually melted away the discomfort, creating a cocoon of love and support. Y/N found solace in Renee's arms, realizing that sometimes the simplest gestures could have the most profound impact.

Renee's hands continued their gentle exploration, massaging Y/N's shoulders with a delicate touch. "You mean so much to me, you know that? Taking care of me, even when you're not feeling your best."

Y/N couldn't help but chuckle at Renee's sweet words. "come here, my love."

Embraced in the warmth of Renee's arms, Y/N nestled comfortably on her lap. The soft cushions of the couch cradled them as Renee's fingers began to explore the strands of Y/N's hair. Renee's touch was like a gentle caress, fingers running through Y/N's hair with a soothing rhythm.

Renee's eyes softened as she focused on the task at hand, her touch becoming a tender massage for Y/N's scalp. The repetitive motions seemed to lull away the remnants of the migraine, replaced by a deep sense of relaxation. Y/N closed their eyes, reveling in the gentle sensation, as Renee continued to work her magic.

"You have the softest hair," Renee remarked, her voice a gentle murmur. "It's like silk."

Y/N couldn't help but smile at the compliment, appreciating Renee's sweet words. "Well give props to your conditioner," they teased, a hint of playfulness in their tone.

Renee chuckled softly, her fingers continuing their dance through Y/N's hair. The room was filled with a comforting silence, broken by the sound of Y/N's favorite show. It was a moment suspended in time, where the outside world faded away, leaving only the warmth of shared affection.

The soft glow of the morning sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm ambiance around the room. Renee's fingers worked their magic, not just on Y/N's scalp but also on their heart, creating an intimate connection that went beyond words.

Y/N, still resting on Renee's lap, turned to look up at her with a grateful smile. "I love you," they whispered, their voice filled with love.

Renee leaned down to press a gentle kiss on Y/N's forehead. "I love you too, mama. I just want to make you feel better."

As Renee continued to run her hands through Y/N's hair, the world outside seemed to fade into the background. In that quiet, tender moment, all that mattered was the connection between them—a shared space of comfort, love, and the simple joy of being wrapped up in each other's arms.

#renee rapp #renee rapp x reader #lesbian #wlw #the sex lives of college girls #leighton murray #leighton murray x reader #lgbtq #regina george x reader #mean girls

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bullet-clubs-bitch · 6 months

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Eat The Acid II

Summary: It had been 14 months since the fight, the worst 14 months of her life and finally she thought now was the right time to share her side of the story but all she can think about is the return of CM Punk at survivor series not even 48 hrs ago. What happens when she reminds him of the fact he's going back to a promotion that fired him on their wedding day?

Word count: 2,538

Warnings include: Swearing, violence, toxic relationships, manipulation and those kinds of things

Part 1 Part 3 Main Masterlist CM Punk Masterlist

Inspired by "Eat The Acid" by Kesha

Survivor series

I knew I would keep quiet when all of the news of what happened at All Out went public. I knew I would say something stupid or let my emotions get the best of me. I can’t believe I stayed out of it for over a year, this was me breaking my silence. Phill and I had filed for divorce months ago, only now getting the paperwork started. I felt anxious as I sat in the chair, it reminded me of the one that got thrown during the fight. Renee Paquette invited me on her podcast to talk about my career and how things were going. She knew about the divorce before Phill got served so with my permission we would talk about the situation. Figuring it had been the right time to finally hear my side of the story. At this point everyone knew, in fact they couldn't stop talking about it. Dying to know my thoughts, feeling bad for me after what happened. We both knew what could happen, how this would backfire, but I told myself I would never speak bad about Phill, sure he was my ex-husband but I could never say the things he said about me, about him.

“So Y/n, I know you have some things you would like to get off your chest” Renee said “The floor is yours”

I felt my heart rate increase, I grew anxious. It wasn’t like this was a live recording, this was me and Renee in the comfort of her and Jon’s home. Sitting with two microphones, creating a recording we could do multiple takes of or even cut things out. I looked at Renee and she gave me a comforting smile, assuring me things would be ok.

“So, I’m sure by now you must have heard that CM Punk and I are getting a divorce” I knew we were getting divorced, but every time I said it outloud my mind couldn't comprehend that it was real. “This was a really hard decision but I really didn’t know what else to do Renee. I tried, I tried so hard…I..I just can’t do it anymore. It’s unfortunate because I really loved Phill and a part of me will always still love him. The whole situation ruined my family, I can’t even look at him the same after what happened. I really didn’t want to get a divorce but it was the best option.”

I looked to Renee who said nothing, offering a warm smile encouraging me to continue but I couldn't focus. All I could think about was the event that took place less than 48 hours ago.

I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus then rolled over by a train. My body was sore, I wrestled Full Gear a few days prior and felt fine despite having one of the most grueling fights of my career. It wasn’t until I woke up Thursday morning after I wrestled on Dynamite the night before that I felt it. It was weird walking up in Chicago alone, I spent many years here with Phill, it just felt wrong without him. I knew survivor series would be happening in a few days, finding it funny how AEW and WWE were both in Chicago less than 3 days apart. I decided to stay the week in Chicago wanting to catch up with old friends I haven’t seen in years.

Half asleep and in pain I heard my phone ring. After struggling to find it, lost in the mess that was my hotel room I answered the call half asleep, not even bothering to see who it was before I picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Hi” the voice on the other line was soft, so quiet that I almost didn’t hear the response

“Who is this?” I responded, climbing back into the warm sheets

“It’s me” the voice said a bit louder this time

“Oh hi, Phill. What’s up?” I asked him, oddly calm, almost like nothing happened between us

“I need to talk to you, It’s important” He said quietly

I didn’t know what was going on but I knew it must have been important. “Is everything alright?” I asked

“Can you stop by sometime today, this is an in person type of conversation” I agreed to his offer, deciding to go to our once shared Chicago home to figure out what was going on.

***

I stood on the steps of our once shared home, debating whether or not to ring the doorbell. It felt weird, like this was a foreign space despite all of the memories I’ve had here. When I entered the home I noticed it looked the same as it did the last time I was here. The only thing different was my missing items. I sat down on the couch agreeing to a coffee as I watched a very anxious Phill Brooks make two coffees. “So, tell me what’s bothering you” I told him honestly as I grabbed the mug from his hands, placing it on a handmade coaster I made years ago. A smile on my face noticing he kept it. “I’m coming back” was all he said and I knew exactly what he meant.

I didn’t know what to say, my throat was dry, my brain unable to form a thought. “No one knows, only Hunter and I know. I thought you should know about it and in person” He said softly trying to read the non existing expression on my face. He didn’t say anything waiting for me to speak knowing how I can struggle with expressing my emotions.

“I don’t know what to say. How is this even possible?” I asked unable to comprehend how after everything he would return to a promotion that made him want to kill himself. “I remember when they fired you on our wedding day. Do you remember that, how that made you feel? How you swore to never wrestle again, never mind return to the enemy? You shit on WWE for years, not even six months ago you were talking about how horrible that place is and now you're coming back?”

“I can’t believe it either love, if Hunter and I can make up I have hope that we might be able to make things right. I promise I will explain everything but I don’t even know what’s going on. I know you don’t love me and that’s fine but I just thought you should know about it”

I could feel the tears fall from my face, I didn’t know why I was crying but I was. I felt betrayed, I felt like this was personal even though I knew it wasn’t. I had been by his side for the past 10 years. I remember when he told me he was miserable at work, I remember when he called me in the middle of the night when I was in Japan to tell me about the pipe bomb he dropped. I remember how they fired him moments after we said I do, I remember being by his side when he told me he wanted to start UFC, I remember being so proud of him despite his loss, I remember the tears we shared as I mended his wounds. I remember when he told me he wanted to start wrestling again, I was by his side through his whole stint in AEW. So hearing he was going back to a company that almost killed him, killed me, feeling like I had been living a lie.

All I wanted to do was cry, over what I’m not sure exactly. Maybe it was the return, maybe it was about the fight, maybe it was the fact that he didn’t fight for us. I felt like a small child, I just wanted to cry and have Phill hold me like how he used to but that was wrong. That was then and this is now, when I looked at the man who sat across from me I saw the old Phill. Something inside him had changed, his hair starting to grow out, the gray in his beard returning, the love in his eyes. This was the man I fell in love with.

I could tell that he wanted to hug me, he still knew me and he knew what I needed, he always did. He didn’t know what to do so I did it for him. “Can I have a hug?” I asked him softly ashamed of how vulnerable I was. “Of course love”

We stayed like that for a while, holding each other in a loving embrace, in a comfortable silence, neither one of us wanting to let go but knowing it was wrong. There was something so comforting about it, being back in the place I called home, with the man I onced loved, lying on an old couch that was falling apart but neither of us wanted to replace. It was like old times, I felt at peace, I was scared, terrified but this told me that things would be okay.

Phill was the first to break the silence “You have no idea how much I missed this” he said softly as he began to draw shapes on my back, something that never failed to calm me. If anything it made things worse, it was too much. Everything felt too normal. He must have noticed that I had gotten more upset as he let go. “I’m sorry, this is too much isn’t it?” he asked. I didn’t respond.

“What’s wrong Y/n?” He knew I was thinking about something. “What if I made a mistake?” I told him truthfully. To be quite honest up until this very moment I was still mad at him.

“This doesn’t feel real Phill. Up until half an hr ago I still hated you but us sitting here in a home we used to share, this old couch, fuck you even kept all of my artwork. This feels too normal. You know that things can never go back to the way they were, I’m sorry but I can’t forget that fight. Do you even realize the long lasting effects that has left on me and everyone involved. You know I don’t care about that Perry one, you know that I thought he deserved it but for god sakes Phillip I watched you beat the shit out of my own brothers. There is something about this that feels too good to be true. It feels wrong, I miss you, I miss you so much, but I also hate you so much that I fucken love you. You just had to fight The Elite, why not The Dark Order or JAS, why me? Why after 10 years of loving it is all being thrown away after a silly little fight you started?”

With every word I said I could see the guilt in his eyes, it was almost like he wanted to cry but didn’t want to show the vulnerability. “My love, I have tried everything to make things right, I know neither of us truly want this divorce but like you said it’s what's best. I’m sorry I didn’t fight hard enough for us, I thought it would have made things worse but by me doing nothing created damage I can never repair. If it means anything I will personally apologize to both Matt, Nick and Kenny, fuck I’ll even apologize to your dad. I know he always hated me”

“What about Adam?” I cut him off “This whole thing started over your hatred for him. You never once apologized to him. Did you see his match with Swerve? That’s what he has to do to get the fans back behind him after you destroyed that cowboys career for no reason”

“Y/n?......Y/n?.... You alright?” Renee called out, breaking me from my trance

“Oh yeah I’m fine. Just thinking” I responded

“We can wait, we don’t have to do this now. I know there’s alot going on” She told me reassuringly

“I’m just still trying to process everything that has happened Renee” I told her as I looked at the grandfather clock that sat across from me reading 7:40 pm. “Raw’s on soon, do you think I should watch it, see what he has to say?” I asked Renee as I began nervously twisting my hair.

“It’s up to you. I don’t want to be rude when I say this or anything but we both know he will probably talk shit about everyone during whatever it is that he has to say” Renee was right, Punk had a thing for shitting on his former employers and friends, I know this time would be no different. Knowing that The CM Punk would be on Raw tonight just felt weird, it was almost 10 years since he was fired. Even though I knew about his return it was way different hearing him say it then seeing it with my own two eyes.

Since I knew about the return, why was I in such shock once I heard his theme play. It was indeed real, the fans going crazy as the impossible was made possible. Chicago's son was home, home in the WWE almost 10 years later. My emotions were all over the place, on one hand I was excited, so proud of him like I always would be. The other part was scared, scared of the impact this would have on AEW, sure ratings were down but how could you compete with the return of Randy Orton and CM Punk in the same night. Part of me felt betrayed, after everything I did for him for what All Elite Wrestling did just to get stabbed in the back and join the other place. Another part of me wished I was there, hidden within the crowd, in some disguise being able to immerse myself within the crowd, getting to experience one of his returns in person once more. Looking into his eyes you could tell that this is what he needed, he was truly home. He was happy, still in shock himself that he was back in a company that not even six months ago still had him banned.

I thought about what Phill told me earlier, ‘If Hunter and I can make up I have hope that we might be able to make things right.’ After that talk I couldn't get him off my mind. I knew if he wanted he could just use that Chick Magnet charm and I would come running back but I needed to remind myself of the pain he caused me. How the past 14 months of my life had been an absolute hell. Everyday I look in the mirror and am shocked that I made it out alive, how somehow I was strong enough to tell that little voice in my head to shut up. I knew that chasing the feelings that were coming back was a suicide mission. I knew I shouldn't watch Raw but here I am getting home just in time to find my ex lover on the screen. I mean how bad could it be?

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exy-shmexy · 1 year

Text

Some more wholesome Twinyards for you

Aaron is alone at the library in the (very) late evening studying for an upcoming biochemistry exam. It's a random Tuesday. Aaron is startled by Andrew quietly dropping down on the chair in front of him. He blinks, wondering what the hell his chronically-allergic-to-libraries twin is doing here.

Andrew silently reaches into his backpack—an old discolored black thing Nicky got him when they started high school—and gets his own books out of it as if it were the most normal thing. He pushes Aaron's laptop slightly to the side with a corner of his textbook.

Aaron is too stunned to say anything.

He just watches Andrew splay an array of annotated papers in front of him, settling into his own homework session.

"What are you doing?" Aaron finally manages to ask after a long stretch of silence.

Andrew lifts his head, usual boredom plastered on his face. "Studying."

"You never come here."

Andrew shrugs. Aaron knows it's the end of the conversation because Andrew lowers his head and begins scribbling more notes down as he goes through his set of mandatory readings. Aaron stares, frowning. He tries to get back to his own biochemistry notes, but his brain has decided to stop working.

Andrew should be with Kevin and Neil for their usual evening practice session.

But then it hits him.

"You were listening?" he asks. Andrew looks up again, one eyebrow raised. "The other night, when I was talking with Matt," Aaron continues. "I told him Katelyn would be away for the week with the other cheerleaders. You heard us?"

Andrew sighs in what Aaron is now certain is feigned annoyance. "You don't like studying on your own, you can't focus if there isn't someone else with you."

Aaron blinks. "So you came here to... keep me company?"

"Neil and Kevin are being intolerable Exy junkies together. Nicky is out with Matt and Dan. Renee is... busy with Allison. Unless you made some friends on the football team no one knows about, which is highly unlikely considering you punched one of them—"

"He deserved it."

"—then I don't think there was any other option. Don't overthink it. I just couldn't stand the stickball fanatics a minute longer." And with that Andrew dives back into his coursework.

Aaron is smiling so big it's actually embarrassing. He clears his throat, knowing perfectly well Andrew didn't mean the last part of his statement because he never does anything he doesn't want to do. Andrew is with him because he knows Aaron can't stay focused ifhe doesn't have someone to study with. Usually it's Katelyn, but Katelyn isn't there.

Andrew is.

Aaron goes back to his intercellular communication notes. He loses track of time, and quickly forgets how long they stay in the library together. Once Aaron declares he's done for the night (having noticed Andrew had been done for a whole half hour and was busy getting ahead of his notes), he asks him if he wants to go to the sandwich place close by. His gift. Andrew accepts. They go together, and spend another hour together. They don't talk a lot, but the shared companionship is enough.

When the next Tuesday arrives and Andrew shows up again instead of Katelyn, Aaron is more than happy to clear up some space for his brother at the desk.

When he learns about this, Neil secretly tells Katelyn to give them one evening together away from everyone every week and she graciously accepts

#oh no I'm back with more twinyards because they haunt all my thoughts #I just love them so much I can't help it #which I'm okay with but I also believe they have to really start somewhere #and we all know Andrew pays more attention than he lets on #so yeah anyway I hope y'all have a great Sunday #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #twinyards #aftg #aftg headcanon

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foxhole-pipe-dream · 3 months

Text

I want to write an AU fic where Neil and Matt become roommates and it's the Best Thing Ever because they've been BFFs for years and what could possibly go wrong, but then Neil starts dating Andrew and they start having conflicts about wanting to use the apartment for private couple time.

Neil and Andrew like their privacy and Neil has probably walked in on Dan and Matt too many times for comfort—plus the lack of soundproofing leaves little to the imagination—so now they have to plan a schedule and work around each other.

Dan lives with Allison and Renee, and Andrew lives with his family, so their place is the better, more private option. And they both work, so that leaves less free time.

"Matt, I need the apartment on Friday afternoon."

"Oh, sure thing. Wait... I kiiinda already planned something for Dan and I on that day."

Silence.

"I guess I'll replan."

But it keeps happening til they start grating each other's nerves, eventually getting a bit passive aggressive then start bickering.

Everyone is like What the hell? You guys are fighting? Weird.

And they're horrified to realize that, for once, they are.

Basically:

Besties' First Fight.

#neil josten #matt boyd #andrew minyard #aftg #andreil #dan wilds #all for the game #it's brewing in my mind #i think neil deserves to be a lil petty and cranky when he doesn't get to have his private time with andrew #do dan and matt have a ship name #idk #but it's just a fun little idea please don't take it too seriously #neil is getting his back blown out btw #mine

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gb-patch · 7 months

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Hi gb! I’m not sure if this question has been answered. But I was wondering if the best friend option in OL2 was restricted to the leads? Like. If you hadn’t picked either of them to be your best friend, you couldn’t pick any other character either? (Renee, vianca, etc). Thank you and congratulations on fully funded! Have a lovely day <3

It is restricted to the leads! I'm glad people might like the side characters enough to wanna be besties with them, but they're not around often enough, aha. You can be friends with them but they can't be that important of a figure in your life, sadly. But you have a nice day too :D

#our life #our life: now & forever #ask

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 27 days

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In Twilight, what if James killed Charlie and Renee in an attempt to lure Bella?

Would the Cullens feel guilty about this?

How would Bella fare as an 17 year old orphan? How would new moon change when Bella has to go to school and have a job to survive?

Would Aro insist in turning Bella since she has no people to search for her?

Would there be eclipse and breaking dawn? If Bella gets pregnant, how would she name the baby (Charlnee)?

I imagine they'd feel guilty as they did feel guilty about the Bella thing (and this is in part why they left in New Moon).

I imagine Bella would go to live with Billy (as the other option is Phil who travels for work and she really doesn't know that well) and because of the treaty Edward would probably take that as his cue to New Moon a little early (as he had always planned to do this in Twilight anyway).

New Moon now takes place at the Black house with Billy and Jake and they become increasingly worried about her blatant depression. Jacob also has angst of "I can't fuck my stepsister. Is she my stepsister? This isn't incest, right? THIS DOESN"T COUNT, RIGHT?!" that Bella is entirely oblivious to.

As for the rest of the series... if Bella has her suicide attempt then Edward may very well kill himself. There's a clear difference here in that Edward has no one to call to confirm the funeral and if he does call Billy... "yes, boy the girl is dead forever, goodbye" as Billy does not want these Cullens up in Bella's business. Alice then can't go on Quileute land to confirm for herself that Bella is or isn't alive and so there's no one to stop Edward's suicide.

The rest of the series doesn't happen.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #billy black #jacob black #bella swan #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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heauxvibez · 2 months

Text

Roman Reigns Warning: Soft smut (18+)

Imagination

Girl come through,

and let's do

what we do in your imagination...

Renee and Roman sat in his home theatre binge watching Law and Order: SVU. It was their favorite show to watch together when they had the time.

With how hectic Roman's schedule was, she was surprised that he was able to keep his promise to her after all these years of him wrestling. Early on he had promised her that he would always make time for her even after his career took off. They both wanted to preserve their friendship as best as they could even through the tough times of adulting.

She snuggled deeply into her seat while clutching the blanket that Roman kept at his place for her. He, on the other hand, had his seat reclined with one hand embedded in his sweats and the other tugging at his beard hair. He had a horrible habit of doing that when he was focused.

Renee glanced away from the screen to look his way for just a moment to take in his features. He had changed so much over the years. He had looked the same, yet he didn't. But nonetheless he had aged like fine wine. How? Who knows. But his skin had grew darker over time, jaw line more structured, teeth done and his beard...God his beard. She loved it. It was full, thick and had hints of gray hair. In her opinion, the only thing it needed was to be covered in her juices.

Of course, just like any ole Netflix movie or Wattpad story, Renee had found herself becoming more and more attracted to him over the years. The feelings literally consumed her on a day to day basis. She couldn't stop thinking about him, dreaming about him and often fantasized what he was like in bed.

At this point she was a professional at day dreaming. Scenario after scenario, she constantly pictured herself in his arms.

The thought of being intimate with him sent shivers down her spine. Just imagining his breath against her skin, lips grazing her neck and his eyes..damn those eyes, she often imagined him forcing her to look into them while they made love in front of the mirror in his bedroom.

"Look at me, baby girl.", she shook her head 'no' as he thrusted in and out of her from the back. Her ass slapped against his skin as he pushed deeper..and deeper..and deeper.

His hand gripped her throat and forced her head up.

"You're saying no like you got an option. Look at daddy.." her eyes shifted up, Roman bit down on his bottom lip at the sight.

"Oh God.." she widened her eyes, the words accidently slipped out of her mouth.

"What happened?" Roman looked over at her, fingers still playing with his beard. She looked at him and the look he was giving her was enough to make her want to rid herself of every single piece of clothing that clung to her body. He was looking at her with those same eyes that she remembered from her fantasies.

"I just..I was just thinking about an embarrassing moment I experienced at work a few days ago is all.."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Mmm, sure.." he teased.

Men aren't the brightest people in the world, but Roman definitely wasn't oblivious to the fact that his friend was attracted to him. He never failed to notice the numerous amounts of times she looked at him and the way she looked at him. He'd been teasing her a lot lately and surprisingly she hadn't noticed that he was attracted to her as well. He gave plenty of hints, became a little touchier, called her new nicknames such as baby girl, beautiful, love and they always flew over her head. If he hadn't already had a clue that she'd liked him, he'd probably feel rejected.

They stared each other down a bit longer, his hand moved from his beard and he reached it out in her direction.

"What?" she questioned.

"C'mere," his eyes softened and he licked his lips. She was a bit frozen in place. Is she losing her mind or is he really looking at her like this. The way she'd only dream of him looking at her.

She looked in his eyes, at his lips and back to his eyes.

"Come," his voiced deepened a bit, which she didn't think was possible. She rid herself of the blanket and hesitated.

"Like..sit on your lap?" she questions, now her eyebrow was raised. He bit down on his bottom lip and nodded.

She must be deep in a daydream right now because this isn't real. She finally met his reach, grabbed onto his hand and climbed over the custom theatre seat. She straddled him, legs at either side of his hips. He sighed in pleasure as she sat on top of his covered member. She felt it as well and did her best not to lose it. Her moans were begging to be released from her throat.

"You want to tell me about that embarrassing moment that made the words 'Oh God' leave those pretty lips?" he asked as he looked up at her. His hand returned to his beard while the other held tightly onto her waist.

Her hands rested on his chest. It was nice and firm. His build has definitely changed in the best of ways since he had started wrestling. He looked so edible, it was ridiculous.

"No not really, it's an embarrassing moment for a reason bud." she stated with a sarcastic smile while softly patting his chest. He thrusted up slightly, the lump under his black sweats rubbed against her core which made a soft moan escape her lips.

"You want to tell the truth?" he asked, now both hands rested on her hips. She shivered and her stomach was now consumed with butterflies. What was he doing to her?

She was now biting her lip and looking down at him with a look he thought was irresistible. His stomach was also fluttering as the beautiful woman looked down at him.

Her pretty black curls fell perfectly on her forehead. She often talked about how her 4c hair drove her mad but he loved it. He loved everything about her, her hair, her beautiful black skin, her shape, everything. She could do no wrong and in this moment, he was ready to show her how beautiful she really was to him.

"Maybe I can make whatever you were thinking about come true.." he said softly. His hand slowly began traveling from her hip, up her stomach, over her breast and found it's way around her neck. He began thrusting against her core slowly and his dark eyes looked into her soul while doing so.

Her breath became short and her hands were no longer on his chest but now grasping his tatted arm that had a nice hold on her throat.

"You just have to let me know what you were daydreaming about. I can make it come true.." she softly moaned at his words.

"Was it something like this? Is this what you were thinking about baby?" He questioned. He knew he was making the woman weak, but he wanted to hear from her mouth what she wanted. He wanted the confirmation from her lips. The lips that he wanted against every inch of him.

She shook her head 'no'. He licked his lips, smirking at the fact that she was still holding back. He fully sat up and wrapped his arms around her, his hands were now on her back. His beautiful hair draped over his shoulders. It wasn't wet like he usually had it for his matches, but dry, soft and flowing beautifully.

He snaked his arms under her shirt. Her warm skin against his cold hands made her breath hitch in her throat. He dipped his head down and into the crook of her neck. He placed soft gentle kisses against her pretty soft skin. She smelt so good, like vanilla and peony; he couldn't help but moan. She moaned back in response. His lips felt like heaven.

Her pussy throbbed immensely; she swears he could feel it. She just knew her heart was no longer in her chest and now in her panties.

"Fuck." she whispered; he continued showering her in his kisses. He worked his way up to her ear. Now it was his turn to whisper.

"Tell me what we do in your imagination.." she caved, she couldn't take it anymore.

"You were fucking me while we looked at each other in the mirror-" the hairs stood up from her skin as Roman's hand slowly slid down her back.

"Mhm, what else.." he whispered before his tongue traced the outer of her ear.

"Joe, please" She begged he pulled away from her ear and looked at her through hooded lids.

"Keep. Talking." he spoke sternly.

"You were giving me back shots, you told me to look at you and I didn't. So you wrapped your hand around my throat and made me look at you while...shit..while you fucked me." she uttered in almost agony. She had always imagined what it was like to be intimate with him and the thought always made her knees weak. But to actually experience his hands, his breath, his lips all over her..it was a whole other experience.

Roman's lips curved into a devious yet sexy smile. He loved seeing this side of her. She didn't know that she was driving him crazy just as much.

He licked his lips for what seemed like the millionth time and tilted his head slightly.

She felt her cheeks get hot and quickly became embarrassed. She looked down from his gaze and took a deep breath.

"That's what I was daydreaming about, nosey. Are you satisfied?" she giggled softly hitting him.

That devious smirked still accompanied his soft lips. He finally got want he wanted and was very satisfied matter of fact.

He grabs the wrist that she swatted him with and placed it behind her back. This caught her by surprise. With his other hand he lifted her chin and forced her to look at him.

"Very," he whispered huskily. He wasn't showing it, but he wanted her so bad. Just her looking at him was enough to make him cum. He needed to take her upstairs to the room not now but right now.

"Just know that tonight, every single time you cum I want my hand wrapped around that pretty little throat of yours and I will demand eye contact if you want to nut. We're going to make sure we do what we do in your imagination."

------------------------

Hi ya'll! This is my first time writing Roman. I hope ya'll like it!

Just gonna tag my favorite writers below!

@harmshake @visionarymode @thesamoanqueen @southerngirl41

#fanfiction #romanreigns #romanreignsfanfiction #romanreignsimagine #romanreignsoneshot #wwefanfic #romanreignswwe #wwefanfiction #romanreignssoftsmut #wwe

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dvrcos · 2 months

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I feel like Nicky is the one Wymack is most nervous to mic up, but trusts Matt & Dan enough to be sure they'll get something good from that. Allison, he knows what he's signing up for, so no one is surprised when she's as aggressive as Aaron. But I think it's Renee who surprises everyone (except Andrew).

When Renee gets mic'd up, everyone is expecting serenity. Peace. "Oh, that was a good pass" about the other team. "Come on, Foxes!" quietly chanted from goal. Maybe some prayers.

Instead, they get a constant stream, in a similar style to Andrew. They get screams loud enough the mic crackles. They get "YOU LITTLE BITCH" screamed at full volume multiple times. They get "Aw, the big baby got upset that the lil midget hit him? What are you gonna do, big guy? Cry and crawl back inside your mama?" when Aaron takes a swing at a guy twice his size. They get gamer-girl-playing-with-a-group-of-boys-who-don't-go-easy-on-her level trash talk. They get hopes and wishes for players to drop dead or go to Hell and burn for eternity. They get angry shouts. They get swearing with 0 filter. They get death threats. They get detailed fantasies about gutting people like fish or of where she'd like to break their bodies.

Wymack is shocked. The audience & fans are eating it up because Renee walks off court with a serene smile and is sweet as sugar. When the other Foxes watch it back, they're all speechless because.... is that THEIR Renee?????? Are we sure???? Because it's easy for them to forget she grew up in a gang & testified against her former found-family. Andrew is the only one who isn't surprised because that's the version of Renee he spars with.

Wymack decides Nicky and Allison can get mic'd up as much as they want. All of the cousins can get mic'd up again. But Renee is banned from doing it again.

Neil gifts her a bar of soap to clean her mouth out with.

THIS !!!!

This was an absolute joy to read and you’re so correct, I have no notes

I can also imagine her being like “thoughts and prayers” in the most passive agressive way possible. The Foxes win and she’s like “I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers tonight, I know that was a tough one for you” and she has the most menacing smile ever that actually shakes the other team to their core.

Also Renee knowing like 101 ways to seriously maim someone and when one of the Foxes gets hurt she just shouts a number at them. She’s been doing it for a long time and none of the Foxes knew why. When they’re listening back to her recording they hear her shout a number and then mumble to herself what that maiming technique is. And they all are just like OH. So it’s a lot more intimidating and meaningful when they hear her shouting numbers on the court from then on.

Andrew very quickly memorizes the list as well and offers her his opinion on which one he would’ve used when she gets off the court.

“22 was a better option”

“Yes but 54 is more creative” And just smiles at him.

The other Foxes also start to remember some of what each number means. They feel especially honored when she wips out certain numbers in defense of them.

Renee shouting from across the court “34”

The Foxes “Oooo, you’re fucked dude. Good luck!”

#the number thing would become a very big inside joke between the team I think #it eventually spreads outside of the court #they just start shouting random numbers at each other and then make up some totally unserious threat #or very real and plausible threat #mic’d up foxes #renee walker #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #the foxes

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coldresolve · 4 months

Text

Moneymakers, pt.xlv // Speaking Your Language

Previous / AO3 / Wattpad / Masterlist / Next

Freezing your balls off, Renee has to admit, is a weirdly sobering endeavor.

A second cigarette is held loosely between his index finger and thumb, ember flaring at every turn of the wind. He squats in the darkest corner of the patio with his arms poised on his knees, shivering whenever the subzero weather manages to slip through his clothes to cool the sweat that lingers on his skin. Hands still shaking slightly, but that might just be from cold; his face is starting to go numb, too, and whatever sparse movement he makes, like bringing the cigarette to his lips, or refreshing the screen, feels stiff. Requires effort.

Can we talk?

Received at 6:07 – but Renee didn’t read it until 7:51.

It started snowing sometime during the whole ordeal. Not enough to stick the landing, but every few breaths or so, Renee feels the prick in his throat of a snowflake he inhales. He can’t see the moon, can’t even see past the light emanating from the house; anything beyond the halfway point of the back yard is a void.

The screen dims slightly. He brushes his thumb against it, and it comes back to life. Another lungful of smoke, thick in his throat, makes the saliva in his mouth foam up. He swallows the bitterness. The phone is close enough to his face that he can focus on the individual pixels that make up the text. The cracks draw an almost imperceptible shadow across the screen, and he wonders if it’s a trick of the broken glass, or if the LEDs underneath have been damaged in some way. The tiny clock in the corner reads 8:54.

Fancy that, he’s already gotten older.

He shivers. The screen dims. He refreshes it. He takes another drag.

It feels like he’s been stuck in this cycle for hours, but whenever he tries to respond, something gets the better of him. What’s there to talk about? What part of it hasn’t already been said? The quiet reluctance in Lazarus’ demeanor, the air of guilt in that motel room. The moment of hesitation when Renee blurted it out – he's not blind. The sex is good, but it’s just not going to be them. Laz is too busy; Renee is too…

He takes another drag – but it burns in his mouth, awful out of nowhere - he’s smoking the fucking filter. Hacking loudly, he throws the butt away, and spends a good minute desperately spitting out the foul taste. When he has finally gathered his bearings and looks up again, the screen hasn’t just dimmed into standby, it has turned off completely.

Renee is a hair’s breadth from pressing the home button to unlock it again, but he stops himself. He’ll have to face it eventually, but maybe tonight is not the night. He feels depleted. Adding the aftermath of a more explicit rejection to the tally won’t do him any favors, and he’s not sure he has enough remaining control tonight to curb what he says.

Laz deserves better.

Grimacing, Renee rubs his forehead hard with a knuckle, settling further back against the wall. It just feels fucking awful. The cracks forming in the wall of shit he has managed to build up. What does he look like in the eyes of another? In the eyes of Lazarus? The unstable wreck of a man, barely grasping the tethers that keep him grounded, losing them over and over and over again. A man who somehow manages to fuck up every relationship he gets into, every job he works, every opportunity he is given.

And in the eyes of Conrad – the same, now enraged. Violent and cruel for no other reason than to gain… not control, but just the feeling of being in control. And failing miserably at even that.

He thinks about suicide again, and it’s different this time. Not some intrusive thought hammering through his skull, forcing his focus. Not something wreathed in spite or self-hatred, or glamorized through mental images of gore, the mess he’d leave behind, the trails of reactions to a violent death. This is calm. Clear. Sober.

He thinks about it as an option.

Quietly, along with the other routes he could go from here. Turning himself in and dealing with the repercussions of what he’s done. Leaving the house in the dead of night, fleeing this shithole state, fleeing the whole country. Or, well… he could just check out.

It wouldn’t have to be theatric. He could get drunk, down a bag and a half of pills, fall asleep. No drama, no shouting, no big parade. Scribbled on a post-it note on a desk nearby, perhaps, one last sentiment for the world: Yeah, nah, I’m good.

Strangely comforting, that whole idea. Grounding.

The breeze is picking up, the snow falls heavier. It melts on his skin, but the crystals on his sleeves glimmer in the low light. Somewhere far away, coming from the direction of the woods, the high-pitched wail of an animal, uncertain, seeking. A fox, maybe. The silence is otherwise his only companion.

Eventually, he lets out a halfhearted sigh. Presses the home button. With his eyes adjusted to the dark, the screen’s light stings his eyes, and he squints to read the time.

9:25.

His thighs ache from the uncomfortable position. Although he has cooled down enough to no longer shake, the iciness in his fingers has long since started to hurt. With a grunt – several, actually – he hauls his stiff body to its feet, pacing for a while to get the blood running. Rolls his shoulders and then his neck through several deep breaths, before he stretches his arms wide, and finally settles with a drawn-out sigh.

Maybe he has already made that decision, he thinks, if he’s being honest. Maybe that’s why he keeps drifting back to it, time after time. He’s always known he wouldn’t make it to thirty.

Metal clacks as he pulls the door handle, pushing the sliding glass door to the side, kicking off his shoes. The living room is dark, but beyond the nonexistent threshold to the kitchen area, the lamp above the dining table casts out its warm yellow glow. Renee swears he can taste bile in his throat at the sight of Davin sitting there, but he bites it down. Decides aggressively ignoring the fucker will do for tonight.

As he shuts the door again, shrugging off his jacket, the warmth of the house finally starts to seep in, searing through frozen skin. He throws the jacket over the armrest of the couch, rubbing life into his hands as he makes his way through the kitchen, gaze locked on the hallway –

And Davin casually gets to his feet, stepping out to block his way.

Stopping in his tracks, Renee’s hands drop to his sides. He takes a step to the left.

Snorting, Davin does the same.

Renee sharply turns on his heel. Lets out a terse laugh toward the ceiling. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes. Sit down.”

“We’re not doing this.”

“We are, Renee.”

Renee turns back, shaking his head. “I’m gonna go to my room and get blasted, actually. High off my fucking—”

“Sit. Down.” Davin’s eyes are dark, and he doesn’t manage to keep the disdain out of his voice.

Renee snarls. “Or what, exactly?”

Davin’s jaw works, breaths coming slow and steady through his nose, eyes scanning his opponent. “I think we’ve left a lot between the lines,” he says low. “Things we might have to work out more explicitly.”

“Schedule a fucking appointment, then.”

“Conrad is right. I am using you.”

Renee pauses at that. His breathing is starting to pick up, the familiar heat in his chest. Hands flexing at his sides. Gnashing teeth.

“I’ve manipulated you,” Davin continues slowly. “Tried to get in your head. Steer you around. Pinned you to a sense of obligation.” He juts out his chin, raising a brow. “Do you want to know why?”

“In the name of good partnership, I assume,” Renee bites out dryly.

Davin smirks. Takes a deep breath, nodding his head slightly. “I put a price tag on entry,” he mutters. “Point zero two per view, eight and a half thousand viewers. Give and take, with the current exchange on ether, that’s four hundred thousand dollars.” With an earnest expression, he holds up a finger for emphasis. “In one night, Renee.”

The sneer fades from Renee’s face. He stares at Davin, shoulders sinking somewhat.

“We’re getting where we wanted to be,” Davin says, eyes intense. “I’m not gonna let you run this shit into the ground. Not now. Not after everything we’ve built here. I am trying to make this thing fucking worth it.”

Renee swallows thick, closing his mouth.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t see, perfectly clearly, the sheer scale of that number. Be lying if he said he could remember ever possessing even an eighth of that throughout his entire adult life. A decade in abject poverty. The memory of biting back shame, having to ask near-strangers if he could spend the night; and curling up behind dumpsters when he couldn’t.

400.000.

And yet…

He shifts his weight from one leg to the other, eyes drifting to the knife clipped in Davin’s pocket – and the hand that has hovered next to it since this conversation started.

A knife, he realizes, that Davin doesn’t need to defend himself against Conrad.

The breath he ejects from his nose feels hollow. An involuntary chuckle bubbles up from his chest soon after, which in turn veers into free laughter. He turns, pacing a few steps through the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. Turns back around to face Davin, grinning wide. “If you wanted to call me stupid, you could’ve just led with that, you know?”

Davin frowns. “What?”

Renee throws out his hands. “I guess I gotta hand it to you. Owning up to being manipulative, as a manipulation tactic – that’s some fucking four dimensional chess shit.” He takes a step towards Davin. “What’s next, huh? If that doesn’t work, where do we go from here?”

Another step, and Davin shifts, almost imperceptibly. Shoulders set, eyes drifting to Renee’s chest – to keep his hips, hands and face all within the same periphery.

The gaze, Renee thinks, of someone who thinks they know what to look for. He chuckles, but it slides into a grimace of contempt. “I guess you could threaten to kill me.”

When he takes another step, Davin takes half a step backwards, blading his body – as if fights are neat enough to be swayed by the stance assumed before they even start. In Renee’s experience, the only thing that makes a real difference is size.

“C’mon, fucking reptoid,” he jeers. “Make it explicit. What are you gonna do?”

Another step. Two and a half, maybe three feet, is all that remains between them. Renee’s fists are clenched, core bubbling.

“What are you gonna do to me?”

Close enough.

Renee levels a hard shove to Davin’s chest, one that makes the man stumble backwards a few steps, off-center, with Renee following closely in his wake.

“Tell me. What the fuck are you g—”

It happens so fast, Renee barely has time to brace. Davin moves, but not to reel back for a punch, like Renee expected – instead he sharply whips his arm up, and his elbow hits Renee square in the face. His head snaps back, ears rumbling with the sound of cracking cartilage. He loses his balance instantly, sinking to his ass. Struggles to at least not keel all the way to his back, and blinking at a momentary blindness, he holds one arm in front of himself to block, but he can’t see if more blows are coming or not, or from where. The blood starts pouring quickly, a familiar touch down the front of his face, but the sensation is stronger than his usual nosebleeds. Really, pouring.

“Fucking idiot,” Davin sneers somewhere above him.

Renee instinctually follows the sound with his eyes, but his vision hasn’t returned yet. It’s like he’s passed out and conscious at the same time, black as night. He doesn’t know how to react to it. Just sits there, dazed.

Footsteps. The sound of something clicking.

A light that hits the wall, and in front of it, the vague silhouette of a chair. It’s still dark, but he can see the Davin now, a few feet to the right - or something green and generally leg-shaped, at least, circling just out of his reach.

Renee places both hands on the ground, and plants one foot, relatively firmly, beneath him. Gasps with the effort it takes just to focus on moving his body in the way he wants it to. He manages to push himself to his feet, straightening up uncertainly, staggering. The front of his shirt sticks to his chest in some places. He’s pretty sure the majority of what he swallows isn’t spit.

Blinking against dizziness, Renee struggles to keep Davin’s figure in focus long enough to read his intentions. The man moves around him steadily, taking his time. “You don’t keep fighting after a blow like that. You’re not gonna win.” A pause. “But you know that already.”

Renee grunts. “Fuck y—”

Davin lunges forward, and Renee seizes up, hands shielding his abdomen – only for Davin’s fist to hammer into his throat. Renee drops again, back scraping the corner of the dining table on the way down, and curls around himself, both hands clutching his neck. Dimly aware of the pain. Dimly aware that he can’t breathe, as if the internal mechanisms in his neck are paralyzed, and that his chest is convulsing as a result. He rolls on to his stomach, shakily pushes to his hands and knees, and it feels like an eternity passes before he is finally able to let out a cough. Ragged and coarse, and unbelievably agonizing. The simple act of drawing air into his lungs feels like he might as well have swallowed a mouthful of glass.

“Do you need me to say it in your language, Vaughan?”

Blood drips between his hands, a steady flow from his face, as his body spasms. Renee tries to croak out a response in between coughing, only to realize his vocal cords are paralyzed, too; he can’t even groan in pain. In his periphery, Davin steps closer. A grasp in the short remains of his hair pulls his head backwards, painfully straining his neck. Davin peers down, expression unreadable. The whole room spins around his looming figure, as if gravity itself keeps shifting.

Instinctually, Renee raises his right arm to shield his face – hesitates – continues its trajectory. He wraps a hand around Davin’s wrist. His whole body sways with the effort, and his grip feels clumsy, and Davin doesn’t budge. Movements camouflaged by the constant involuntary jerks of his body, blood from his broken nose sliding down towards his throat. Renee tries to speak again, but the air just croaks in his chest, formless.

Davin smirks. “Maybe you are stupid.”

Renee blinks hard, but manages to swallow – fuck, it hurts. Then a grin spreads across his face, flashing whatever blood stains his teeth. That smug little smile on Davin’s face melts into caution.

Davin’s knife clicks in Renee’s left hand.

They both move roughly simultaneously.

Renee’s grip on Davin’s wrist tightens to keep him from retreating, at the same moment he drives the blade up – but Davin doesn’t pull away. Instead he rams his leg forward, deflecting the knife against his shin, slamming Renee hard enough to knock him backwards onto the floor – Davin himself landing with his full weight knee-first on Renee’s chest.

The dizzying experience it is to have the air forcibly pressed out of his lungs. Renee hears the raspy half-cry that tears past his lips, too stunned to orient himself for a fraction of a second, which is all it takes for Davin to force his arm up, slamming the hand still clutching the knife hard into the floorboards. By some fucking miracle, despite a shooting pain in the bone of his wrist, Renee’s grip doesn’t waver. Breathless, he bucks his body against Davin’s weight, and finally gets the wherewithal to start throwing jabs with his other hand. And he’s in a bad position, but he thinks one of them makes a solid connection with Davin’s side –

Before Davin brings another elbow down on his face.

A sharp jolt of pain. Blindness, a static void. He can’t see what he’s struggling against, and when his left hand is slammed to the ground again, it opens, and the blade clatters against the floor. Heaving for breath as Davin’s weight momentarily leaves his chest, only to feel himself being hauled by the shoulder onto his stomach. He braces his hand against the floor to push himself up – but Davin’s knee resettles on his lower back, and his arm is yanked out from under him, pried up between his shoulder blades.

His right arm. The broken one.

Renee lets out a shout of frustration, writhing in vain to push the weight off his back. His voice is raw, but the words come out. “Get the fuck off me! Get the f—argh! Shit—”

It’s like Davin reads it in the way he’s struggling – he twists Renee’s arm just to the threshold where making wild movements no longer wins him a sliver of leverage, but instead causes enough pain to suck the air out of his lungs. Renee feels himself involuntarily curling in to Davin’s grasp, some desperate attempt to alleviate the strain on his broken bones, and in that moment, fingers grasp the his hair again, pulling his head back.

“I can tolerate a lot from you,” Davin growls in his ear. “But if you can’t show even a modicum of self-restraint here, I’m gonna drop the curtains on this whole fucking thing, you understand?”

“Argh, fuck, fuck—”

“I don’t care who I need to kill. Do you understand what I’m telling you right now?” Davin pushes his arm up further.

“Ffff—fucker, f—shit, stop—”

“Do you understand?” Followed by another notch, and the blinding tension in the joint seems to instantly triple.

Renee screams, back arching, free hand pushing at the floor. He spits it out, a hoarse cry scraping through his broken throat. “Yes! Fuck!”

It takes a second – emphasis – before Davin lets him go, all at once.

As soon as he is free, Renee kicks himself forward a few paces to get away, clutching his arm tight, panting. He rolls over on his back just in time to see Davin getting to his feet again.

“Jesus Christ,” Renee gasps.

Davin fixes his folded-up sleeve. He peers down at Renee’s cowering figure, almost in passing, before his eyes drift to his watch. It’s the eerily unbothered demeanor, the way he is barely even out of breath.

“Who are you?”

Bracing a hand on his knee, Davin leans down to pick the knife back up. Clicks it shut and clips it back in his pocket. He finally meets Renee’s gaze directly, but the moment of pause where he might have answered passes, instead, with the silent glance alone. One in which the power dynamic – Renee on the ground with Davin towering above him – isn’t lost between the lines.

He snorts.

And then he leaves the room.

Previous / Masterlist / Next

#writing #moneymakers #renee #davin

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jtl-fics · 1 year

Text

WIP Wednesday

So here is a brief bit of Future!Andrew in my Math Nerd AU. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANY OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. Andrew's in a dark place.

Trigger Warnings: Depression / Grief, Planning Suicide, suicidal thoughts, and suicide

Andrew holds the urn in his arms and regrets.

Neil had died alone in that hospital room. Died alone because Andrew had never had the courage to get down on one knee and propose properly. Died alone and in pain because Andrew had never gotten the POAs he’d considered multiple times for both of them, but he hadn’t because it felt like admitting too much. Died alone, in pain, and…

Andrew could only ever tell Neil that he hated him.

Andrew knows that Neil knew he didn’t hate him. Neil had understood that Andrew would never live with someone he actually hated. Neil had understood that Andrew wouldn’t have adopted pets with someone he hated. Neil had understood that Andrew wouldn’t let someone he hated touch him the way that Neil had been allowed to touch him.

Andrew doesn’t know if Neil understood that Andrew loved him.

Andrew isn’t even sure if he had fully understood until it was too late and Neil had died alone, in pain, and unsure of Andrew’s love because Andrew had never said it.

He looks down at the urn and the list of ‘options’ Neil had given him and knows that Neil had not understood that Andrew could not and would not continue to live their future alone.

His friends and family had seem to accept that this was only the first funeral.

Neil’s will was short and sweet. He had left everything to Andrew Joseph Minyard and Andrew spent the month after Neil’s funeral sorting out his own arrangements.

He left large amounts to both of his Nieces and felt faintly bad that he was never going to see them grow up but he had almost puked when Lilly had asked him where Uncle Neil was.

He couldn’t answer her.

He’s going to where Uncle Neil is.

He’ll claw his way to wherever Neil had gone in the great beyond and he’ll tell him this time. Even an eternity in hellfire being tortured next to Neil was better than a single moment without Neil.

He gives Kevin their cats.

Kevin takes Duchess and Lady (King’s daughters) and he looks at Andrew with watery eyes, “He wouldn’t want-“

“I want Neil.” Andrew had said and Kevin’s jaw clenches so hard that Andrew wonders if he cracks a tooth.

Kevin takes a large number of their pictures. More than even Matt, Aaron or Nicky had taken. Andrew watches as Kevin puts them up among the three pictures of pride of the Day household. The large framed photos of Kevin, Jean, Jeremy, Neil, and Andrew through their years winning Olympic Gold for America.

Neil’s smile is so beautiful in each photo that Andrew leaves early.

He wants Neil.

He can’t sleep right without Neil.

He had never once held Neil and slept but they’d shared a bed for years and years. Andrew can’t sleep without that precious weight on the other side of the bed. Neil’s scent is fading from the linens and Andrew struggles to find one of Neil’s shirts that still smells like him.

Renee tries the hardest to change his mind.

Her beliefs are strong as ever but when she had showed up in person to talk to him and had seen how he looked she must have realized that there was nothing she could say to convince him.

She holds him tight and she prays for him.

Then she lets him go.

Neil had been surprisingly thorough in his instructions for his funeral.

Andrew knows that Neil had often planned it out as a way to manage the stress of the whole situation with the Moriyamas. Neil had lived a decade with the threat of his own demise should he fail to give Ichirou the profits the man desired. It had been better after Neil’s accident and subsequent year spent in PT and as Ichirou’s accountant.

Ichirou had released Neil from his deal after the man had gotten his first ever tax return and had even promised to release Jean and Kevin if Neil agreed to become his full-time accountant after he retired from Exy.

Neil had agreed.

The years afterwards had been bliss and Neil had retired when his old injury made it too painful to play. Andrew had been mystified that he would have a longer professional career than Neil but Andrew had come to tolerate Exy and the money he was paid to stand in the goal and do something he was naturally good at was too good to turn away from.

He and Neil had lived comfortably, had traveled, were going to see Australia in two months to enjoy the off season.

But now Neil was gone.

Andrew laid down in the bed he had shared with Neil. He had one of Neil’s favorite shirts under his cheek and held Neil’s urn in his arms.

Neil had been very clear that he wanted to be cremated and that he wanted his ashes to be with Andrew.

Neil had left him numerous ideas on what Andrew could do with them. He could imagine Neil smiling as he found out about some of them. He wonders if Neil had smiled over his top suggestion which was a link to a website that would forge weapons, knives, out of ashes.

Andrew has not used Neil’s body.

The thought of turning any part of Neil into the the weapon that had hurt him so many times was agonizing.

Still, he knows that Neil likely put it down as an option because Neil would never believe that Andrew would actually keep Neil’s ashes close if he couldn’t be useful to Andrew in some practical way.

Neil never would have imagined that his urn was a relic that Andrew would cherish and hold onto. The ashes inside were the only thing that made it possible for him to keep going as he set all of his affairs in order.

Neil was so stupid and Andrew missed him like he would miss both of his lungs.

The drugs were kicking in.

Ichirou had reached out and expressed his sincere condolences. The man who had killed the Moriyama accountant would pay dearly but Andrew had hardly cared. A drunken man’s death would not bring Neil back to him.

Ichirou had offered him something else.

“For a nominal fee and as an act of my respect for Neil’s efforts for my family I can get you what you seek.” Ichirou had said cryptically but Andrew had understood.

He paid Ichirou and Ichirou had delivered Andrew what he needed to go and see Neil.

He wouldn’t cut himself. Neil had been so proud when he’d reached 10 years without a relapse.

The world is growing darker. Neil’s scent growing fainter no matter how he presses his face into the shirt.

He holds on to Neil’s urn.

He’ll see him soon.

***

Andrew wakes up.

He’s going to fucking murder Ichirou Moriyama.

For that insane ‘nominal fee’ Andrew should not be waking up.

His head aches and his mouth is like sandpaper, “Andrew, are you okay?” A voice that is familiar but wrong comes from his side and when Andrew cracks his eye open (blurry, is that blood) he sees Aaron, except it can’t be Aaron because he looks like he’s 20 again.

What the fuck.

#Math Nerd AU #WIP Wednesday #Please heed the warnings #AFTG AU #AFTG #Andreil #Andrew Minyard #AFTG Fics #My Fics

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