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halfmoth-halfman · 10 months

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I sincerely hope we get to see a new form of Canary after all this carnage. Like she went through hell, scraped out of there barely alive, barely together, and on the other side of this she finds this special kind of confidence. A confidence that lets her stand on her own without feeling the need to run from Graves. It'd be the kind of confidence that burns cities down, make her horrible father grin from the grave, have Price and co. looking at her in pure disbelief.

But I also hope she doesn't. As much as I love that kind of post trauma transformation, I feel Canary's path takes her to rescued animal mentality. She's grateful but she is oh so skittish. She'll run if you get too close too quick. Price won't be able to comfort her through touch (that's gone, buddy.) It's going to be sitting in silence, slowly reacclimating to not living in fight or flight, learning to rewire and trust her mind and her body again. Ptsd is a complex and tricky bitch. It's gonna rock everyone's world.

I loved the coat scene. It was so tragically beautiful in the depiction of that pure panic that comes from the fear of an abuser. It felt real and authentic. I always find panic attacks the hardest to write/read because they're so easy to get slightly wrong, and this was perfectly done. I love that Ghost is the one who got her in that moment. He's the perfect one to see it for what it is and rescue her from that spiraling pit.

This fic is a hard read only because of how heavy it gets. Yet, it's that very heaviness that pulls you in and makes you stay. It isn't self-indulgent in these dark themes. Each is used carefully and purposefully to create a world in which your readers feel their chests aching with each disaster that strikes Canary. You've gotta be ready to walk into this one, and I appreciate how thoughtful your warnings are before each chapter. I felt adequately prepared without anything being spoiled.

I didn't intend to write so much, but your fic has plagued me since I read it all in one sitting the other night. There are so many layers to it that I enjoy watching reveal themselves with each new event. I'm genuinely excited to see what happens next. Canary has been severely injured. I have a feeling there is going to be some temporary mobility issues/needing help frequently that is going to bring a lot of this trauma to the forefront right away.

there's only so much i can say without going into spoiler territory, but we'll def get a different canary after this. i feel like it's a combination of the two, she's confident and ready to burn everything to the ground when it comes to graves and makarov, but in private, when she's alone or with the 141, a lot more of that skittishness and paranoia comes out.

we've seen that touch is like the go-to form of comfort for a lot of the 141 so there's going to be difficulty navigating how to comfort her when she doesn't want to be touched. it's gonna be a long and complex journey for everyone involved, esp canary because there's things that she probably didn't even realize have affected her but now will come to the forefront because she's in a much more relaxed environment.

the coat scene was one of the first scenes i had fully planned out for the series! i wasn't fully sure who was going to be the one to find her (originally it was valeria and farah) but i knew it'd be a moment where canary was so panicked that it wouldn't matter how scared she was of the 141 member that found her, she just needed to get the coat fixed because graves and makarov being mad at her was worse than anything the 141 could do to her. in the end, it just felt right that ghost would be the one to find her, since he was the one who accused her in the first place. it's a very "here's the direct consequences of your actions" moment for him.

i get what you mean about panic attacks in fics, but i know they're hard to nail down since everyone can have different experiences with them. most of the panic attack scenes in designer dress i pull from my own experiences and things i've felt with my own anxiety.

i knew when i started doing a mob!au that there were going to be some dark themes since that's very common in this genre, but i tried/am trying to make sure it's not a dark fic if that makes sense? i, myself, am very sensitive to certain triggers so i always try to make sure i give the proper warnings for every chapter and am always open if anyone needs something tagged that i may have missed (within reason ofc)

i appreciate you going into so much detail here omg, this is very thoughtful and so sweet. things are def going to be difficult for canary going forward, but there's a more hopeful vibe to it—she's healing and getting therapy and relearning how to trust again which won't be easy but will be better for her in the end.

#obi-wansorrow #moth answers #answered #cod ask #private

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algolagniaa · 16 hours

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I think I used to view other women in my life through a lens of like. oh someone wants you so you’re different from me. and it wasn’t from a place of caring about male approval rly bc I wanted to be wanted by a woman but it was like - in kids books there are often a lot of boys and One girl and that girl is Very Special (and this was def something I picked up on bc I would make a lot of female characters and then despair of the fact I HAD to make enough boys to outnumber them. and the boys would all be super boring cardboard people bc I really only wanted to write about the super awesome girls but I thought that was how it Had to be) and then in teen books there’s again One girl who’s special enough to lead the revolution and have every single guy interested in her. and I have always had a huge complex about being special thanks mom and dad for how thoroughly you set me up for that and it would bum me out like I would lose a sparring match against another girl and in my head I’d be like oh :( I thought I was Alanna the lioness but I’m not :( that’s her and I’m just a normie girl :( which didn’t make sense bc I didn’t think the same about boys at all but it wasn’t even that I thought boys were better in any way I just thought yay I get to beat them up!!! like they weren’t in the running to be special at all bc 1) boys weren’t special and 2) boys didn’t Have to be special. and that was when I was a kid but when I was a teenager it stopped being so much about like, being chosen by faeries or w/e and started being about relationships. bc all my friends had boyfriends or at least boy drama and my brother had a girlfriend and did I have a girlfriend? no. bc I was an out lesbian and there weren’t a whole lot of out teenage lesbians in Orange County in 2009 but ofc I didn’t look at it that logically I just thought it meant I wasn’t Special. and it’s weird bc looking back on my life I have managed to attract a ridiculous amount of girls/women to me considering I’m a lesbian with no game like idk how I managed to do it but I figured it out somehow and p much always had if not a girlfriend at least a girl who I could sleep with. but usually they were very low quality women bc I had no standards whatsoever so they would treat me like shit a lot and then that still didn’t count for what I wanted bc they obviously didn’t love me and I was miserable and felt like I had to play a part in order to keep them interested and I would look at other women who were in relationships that seemed better than mine and go wow she’s Special. she’s so much prettier and better and more interesting than me. obviously or else she wouldn’t have been Chosen when I wasn’t. forget about the fact that we aren’t even competing to date the same people. the light of heaven shines down on her but not me.

anyway I wrote about more about that than I intended to but my original point was - that idea that I’m Not Special has been a part of my self concept for a very long time. and I’m at a point in my life where it doesn’t make sense at all anymore. and not even just because I’m in a loving relationship with someone who makes me feel very special although that does help. it’s a lot more that I have things in my life I’m proud of that I did by myself. not even just accomplishments in the general sense of the word (although getting a degree and getting such good grades and accepted into honors societies is a big part of it) but like I’ve Done things and gone places and had adventures and had so much fun. and I know I’m going to keep doing that. packing up this trailer sucks and is miserable but it’s also really cool bc I remember the miserable mindset I had when I moved in and the mindset I have now is so different from that. and I don’t feel any more like there’s anything that I need that I don’t have. and it’s really incredible BUT my brain still wants to hold onto this mindset of jealousy and not being enough just because that’s what it’s used to and not doing that requires a whole overhaul not only of how I see myself but also of how I see other people. and as hard as it is for me to admit that mostly means other women bc I’ve never in my life been jealous of a man other than my brother I just actually hate them.

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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Do you think Kirigan would go for soft girls or the ones that has the same personality as him?

a/n ahh okay ik ive been bad at updating and making content on here and been on a kinda unofficial break but im doing a little better mentally so more content soon!! anyways i had to answer this the SECOND i saw it bc i have SO many opinions.

okay,, this is going to sound like such a cop out answer, but i think there's no wrong answer bc it depends on how you interpret his character (which i'll explain really soon) but basically, in short, my personal opinion is that he'd go for a balance but be more drawn to someone that presents as one extreme and has the opposite hidden in them,,

personally, i think he'd be drawn to someone that presents as a 'soft' girl with a hidden 'darkness' in them, i don't mean like secretly evil but someone who wants to be good so badly but something in them is just a little too hurt or impulsive to always be the bigger person, even though they want to be.

Here's why I think that personality would draw him in most (i'll also explain the opposite personality bc like i said at the beginning, i think it really depends on how you interpret his character)

- okay, so it's clear that manipulation is kinda his love language (all he did was manipulate my girl Alina and i personally do think that that was the only way he was capable of loving her, so his issues weren't an absence of love but an inability to love in a healthy way--but that's just my opinion)

- so someone in that mental state that wants to be good and for the most part is but sometimes does foolish things bc they're human and have to deal with complex emotions (emotions that remind him of his personal struggles), would be really easy to manipulate bc he's clearly not an upstanding moral guy

- so when he tells someone with those internal conflicts that he sees seeds of darkness or something beyond the exterior they show the world, that person is inclined to believe him. (like when he tells alina that he saw her power and didn't run away, but can Mal say the same?)

- and after planting those seeds, he would be quick to reap them,, what do i mean by that??

- well, a major, personal headcanon of mine is that the Darkling definitely craves the acceptance and assurance of a partner to keep away the solitude that haunts him but he's afraid/hates the idea of losing control and giving someone so much one sided power over him

- so that's why he would be drawn to someone with a softer exterior for deeper connection purposes, bc he could feel like a protector/comforter and maintain some control (i also could very easily see him having an innocence/corruption kink but we're not here for that)

- also,, i think he'd see someone like that (or just his SO in general) as super good, and there would be some level of comfort in him to be able to look at his SO and be like 'they care for me/need me so i cant be that far gone, that lost' or maybe even be like 'if someone as good as them is allowed their impulses, i should be allowed mine'

- i also feel like he'd instinctually convince himself he HATES any 'soft presenting' person he's even somewhat attracted/intrigued by bc anything he sees as pure good he'd be at least a little jealous of in a way he doesn't understand (bc keep in mind, his darkness didnt come from a place of true malice originally)

- but i think he'd bore of someone that's completely soft just bc he's attracted to power bc even when he's not working on his plans, he is,, and if the potential SO doesn't have that power physically (as in political influence/grisha ability) he'd ideally need some strength of will/personality,, which is why he likes to press on that person's fear of being 'bad'

- he'd also like to prey on someone with this personality's fear of being a bad person so that he could feel better about himself bc like i said earlier,, a small part of him would be jealous of their goodness and i think at times he'd even be insecure

- especially if his SO started spending time with someone that's a better person than him bc he wants/needs to be the person that his SO cares about most bc it's not like he cares about a lot of ppl and if he cares more about them than they do about him,, that's not a type of control he'd be willing to relinquish

now why i think ppl could believe that he'd 'go for' someone with a similar exterior to him but has a secret soft inside:

- well,, that's basically him

- i believe opposites attract way more in complex characters (which is part of the reason i lean towards the first dynamic), but he could def be with someone with such a similar personality bc two people that crave power could create such a great couple

- first off, there would be a natural challenge there, bc the two could keep each other on edge and motivated (and victory/adrenaline of competition sex would hit hard,, let me tell you)

- he'd feel comfortable being himself a little more with someone that expresses the same level of ambitions as him and that would be easier than a relationship with someone that presents as soft

- tbh i think someone with a similar personality to him as his ideal hook up but for more serious connection,, he'd connect to someone softer bc they could give him approval/assurance he needs easier

- i think that a similar personality to him would keep him on his toes and entertained which is important and someone that's as driven as him would be beneficial for multiple reasons

- they could connect to him through his struggle and validate his actions

- and if that person had a soft spot,, he'd see even more of himself in them and he'd be able to feel like a protector a little more

- he'd def like to push at that softness in order to feel like his SO is important to him, even his SO is good at hiding that part of themselves

honestly the reason that how you view his character is so important in answering this question is bc it depends on whether you think that motivation/being pushed while still being needed is more important to him or being validated while still feeling like he's in control is more important to him.

but yeah,, in general i think he'd be drawn to softer girls but would end up going for girls more like him bc of more assured sexual chemistry and bc it puts him less at risk at opening up to anything beyond the face he wants the world to see

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circuslollipop · 3 years

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Jester and Essek?

JESTER:

Why I like them: ksdjhf where do i BEGIN. she's that one character who was INSTANTLY my favorite; i fell in love with her voice, her demeanor, her personality, everything! but i also love her and relate to her on a deeper level--how she's seen as less mature because of her likes and hobbies, how she represses her negative emotions for fear of making other people hurt or uncomfortable, growing up isolated. also i really love her creativity and her growth from someone sheltered to someone with a bit more worldly experience who takes initiative, but in that growth she never lets go of her love for unicorns or fairy tales or the color pink or her joy and kindness and belief in the best of people! i love her so much

Why I don’t: literally nothing i can put here she's great

Favorite scene: the tarot reading on lucien that was INCREDIBLE

Favorite season/movie: i cant pick a favorite arc w her shes great all the time!!

Favorite line: "something must end for something new to begin" but also "let chaos reign"

Favorite outfit: ALL OF THEM but if we're going by purely official art then her xhorhas outfit. but if we look at my tweaks to the outfits then the winter one becomes my favorite

OTP: JESTERMAUK but i also ship her with beau, yasha, and calianna

Brotp: jester essek besties for the win also team cleric good

Head Canon: bi grayro/grayce jester my beloved

Unpopular opinion: kinda wish we got more time for jester introspection/inner conflict in the travelercon arc? it got kinda wrapped up pretty neatly and i do wish we could've gotten more conflict. i do like that her friendship w artagan was reaffirmed in the end, but idk i do wish there were some more challenges thrown her way in that regard and that would make it all the more satisfying to see her rise above it all and fight for her beliefs and win in the end. also ngl some of the shipping discourse i see is Weird and im just gonna leave it at that. also there's more to jester's humor than d!ck jokes and i kinda don't like how one-note it all started to become in the later episodes

A wish: continuing from the first point in the unpopular opinion section, would have LOVED to see the timeline where the traveler actually was taken to the feywild and jester turned to the moonweaver for help. while her faith in artagan is definitely strong in canon i feel like that kind of arc would have made her faith feel even STRONGER. also i wanna see her feywild adventures

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: please don't let her """mature""" out of her hobbies and interests let her become a little old lady who still loves unicorns and stories and pink

5 words to best describe them: chaotic, vibrant, joyful, strong, lively

My nickname for them: another canon nickname but i do call her jessie or jes sometimes

ESSEK:

Why I like them: oh golly gee ANOTHER character i relate to! gifted kid burnout syndrome my beloathed. mainly the experience of being considered a prodigy early in life and then expected to preform to that standard every time. also i LOVE essek's arc and his character development, he grew from someone cold and isolating to someone who cries over a person he didn't even know (mollymauk) and all that growth was SO satisfying to watch. easily my favorite character arc

Why I don’t: n/a

Favorite episode (scene if movie): episode 91 was SO GOOD

Favorite season/movie: despite being a Molly Stan, essek was easily my favorite part of the aeor arc! (mostly bc the molly and lucien stuff made me stressed and emotional while watching; essek was nothing but satisfying to watch) anyway i loved being able to see that growth in real time!

Favorite line: "it's not fair" AAAH the heartbreak and also i cant remember any other essek lines atm RIP

Favorite outfit: out of all the different interpretations of his mantle i do like the munchkin interpretation (aka kyotosparty's) the best!

OTP: SHADOWGAST but i do also like shadowmauk

Brotp: jester essek besties

Head Canon: short essek fave essek

Unpopular opinion: i dont think i have one?

A wish: if the m9 ever get an animated series, i hope essek gets more lines and more chances to give his input once they get to the aeor arc! i understand that matt was juggling SO MUCH at the time so i def see why it didn't happen during the actual show. also i would love to see more adventuring essek as well as an origins comic

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: that after the m9 are all gone, that he doesn't ever find happiness again and slips back into loneliness. i would like to think he's able to find more friends, more adventures, and more love while still honoring his old ones, and he's able to live a long and happy life

5 words to best describe them: complex, relatable, flawed, hopeful, ninth

My nickname for them: i dont have one for him i dont think

#mryarra #thanks for sending!#jester lavorre #essek thelyss

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walkingtaetrash · 3 years

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THOUGHTS ON GILMORE GIRLS:

i have so much to say y’all regarding gilmore girls. I LOVE this show. i have a very tension filled hatred for some parts but most of all LOVE.

after watching seven whole seasons of these girls lives, i have to say i truly understand the complexities of these characters. we’re not even gonna get into the years of a our lives thing, no this is about the freaking original. god, the amount of shit that rory did, lorelai did, chris did, luke did, emily and richard, I MEANNNN god it’s a lot

1. Rory.

gosh this girl was so frustratingly annoying. a perfect gem and pearl in the first year, and then later she becomes a nuisance. but what i truly see is her finally getting out of that naivety/handholding/dewy eyed phase and onto things like being a teen. this girl really stole a boat and got it on her record and what i hated about the show is that they never bring it up again. like that def affected her getting into places bUT NOOOOO. they wanna paint her out as some saint. i think the only sympathy i have to her behavior is that she was growing into who she was. i thought thank goodness Jess screamed at the girl to go back to yale because Logan wasn’t gonna do it!! gosh the whole relationships this girls gone thru, ruining deans marriage, cheating on logan with jess and making jess sad, going back to logan again and again after he treated her like crap? like NO honey that’s toxicityyyyyy. anyways she was annoying but at the end i love her.

2. lorelai.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. no matter how many times she screwed up i could never stop loving this woman. does this mean i have bias ? YES. sorry y’all. i just related so much to these two. the dynamic of a single mom and her kid spoke so much to me and my mom. but also i am not like lor and rory, i’m more like lor and emily. i have the same mommy issues, caffeine addiction, and a incessant need to ramble on about god knows what. i do not have the sexy, charming wit she has, but i do think i’m funny and i talk a lot (i mean look at this long ass text post) BUT she’s just so beautiful and wonderful. she went thru so much for rory and made her into the kid she is today and just was so understanding. i wish she gave emily grace but at the end like i truly get why she was always so frustrated. there were times where she was excessive but damn it i get her. i love her and luke. why tf did jason happen. also the chris marriage so nasty, but all in all she deserves love and to be cherished.

3. luke

this man holds my heart gosh damn it, i love him. i don’t know why april came into his life, maybe to add some spice. i think he never would’ve forgotten to wear a condom lowkey he’s so responsible. but hey, whatever the show includes. i think he handled that part so well tho , and only fighting for partial custody , i truly loved that. he didn’t wanna make it a big thing cause he knows that april needs her mom, but i thought it was rude that Anna (ew), someone who knew Luke’s character, and knows what kind of guy he is, would not tell him he had a kid. and then expects him not wanna be a dad? like he is the ultimate “i wanna make sure everything’s done right on my end, i’ll always do what i think is right” type of guy. he did that with jess i mean come on. i love his anger about things cause it reminds me of my own dad, and like i wish there was more complexity to him, but i think he repetitive nature suited him. he had a lot of chaos in his life and tranquility in the small things in life like routine and filling the salt shakers really helped him feel grounded and have a sense of control. i love him, the most caring dude in the world, and i would want him on my side in a war.

4. dean

we gotta start somewhere for rory’s boyfriends. i think he was a good first boyfriend, treated her right, but goSH DAMN IT HE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LATER ON. see i even started watching gilmore girls cause jared padalecki was in it, and i was so awestruck by it cause of the characters but DAMN if a character could be even more annoying. dean was not into the things rory was into and they had no spark, but they had comfortability and it was sweet and he helped lorelai out a lot and treated her good, but he legit was so clingy and all that shit later on. and like he wasn’t even trying wiyh life with her in it either and it just frustrated me. he messed up a marriage for her, it’s so wrong man. like ugh.

5. jess

if i could hug someone i would hug him omg. he looks like he smells like those manly colognes, books, and hair products but the fruit scented kind like coconuts and berries that he’s embarrassed to tell you about. gosh he is such a character. i love him so much and he went thru so much as a kid and i wish he never had that scene of pressuring rory cause that was a HUGE ick but all in all, he just had to go to therapy and know he could make it big. i wish they input his story more and that whole outfit at the poetry house thing was vomit, the hair and goatee made me choke i was like this aint you bby boy, but alas they had to make him look like those 2000 poet guys (i mean it was in the 2000’s but i digress) it just wasn’t his leather jacket and jeans look i missed. he was the one who understood rory in all her creative mess. he was the one to spark up that drive for yale again and told her to pursue whatever she wanted (granted i didn’t like how he showed up at her dorm and was like let’s run away together) but he was there for her in the ways he could. he had so much trauma tho that i think it was best they let go of each other and i think if they found each other again later and pursued it it would be beautiful.

6. logan.

i hated him at first yall. i’m so sorry i really did. he was a player, immature, immoral, and annoyingly right about things. rory did not need his influence. they stole a boat together, he wanted her to be out of her comfort zone yes but damn to what extreme? i think after he matured up, it was so beautiful tho. i hate to admit it but i love him now. he grew on me, he truly started caring for rory in a responsible way, he started working, he started realizing he could lose rory, and in the end it was sad she didn’t accept but he took it like a champ. i think he was so ready for it cause he loved her but he couldn’t have expected her to drop all her career options and just go with him to san francisco. i think he should’ve known her well enough but i also get why he didn’t wanna do long distance. i think he connected with her very well. in the way that pointed out her ICKS she never knew she had. she also was a trust fund baby with a rich family and is at Yale and doesn’t have to work through college. i hated that she never acknowledged that and thought she was some fucking hard worker. like yes you study a lot ma’am but you don’t work you’re not someone who knows what it’s like to worry about rent the next day. like damn she had a mom and she had her pool house shit and i also think it was so ungrateful the way she acted towards emily and richard. like they did so much shit for her and she took it for granted. yes they can be extreme but rory needs to be nicer. she is literally another pompous kid who attended an ivy league and she acted so high and mighty in that article ugh. anyways logan was able to show her that hey you have flaws too don’t think you’re perfect but also showed her her TRUE potential. he wanted her on a newspaper and wanted her things to excel and was there with her every step of the way. paid for an apartment, dor a car, and i feel she never really acknowledged that. it was frustrating. but he was frustrating in ways too with the bridesmaid things and the player things and the gambling with Colin and Finn (why did they exist) and yeah. but anyways 9/10

7. christopher hayden.

can i say i fully loathe this man? HATE. i despISE this man. the amount of times he messed up? the amount of times he broke rory and lorelai’s heart?? TOO MANY. he’s a dumb dad and he acts stupid with GG too and i stand by it and sherry is a bitch but damn oh damn did chris get himself in shit. lorelai was ready to marry him and be with him and he went to sherry. SHERRY DIDNT EVEN WANT THE KID. well she did and then it came by and she didn’t and then she left and that was confusing asf. cause she was over here talking rory’s ear off about chris and kids she was the most annoying character ever. hated her . BUT I HATE CHRIS MORE. then lorelai dated luke and pushed her and expected her to be with him and it to be fine. no. and thank god they split but damn the hurt lorelai went thru? it’s embarrassing when luke is the one at the hospital for lor’s dad instead of the husband. anyways it was stupud of him to always try. and then like mess it up between him and rory and act like a dad when he was barely there for her, but either way i’m happy he paid for yale and he’s out of their lives as much as he was in it.

8. emily.

EMILY MY LOVE. you are so stubborn and so conceited but damn do you love your family to the moon and back. this woman was a wife through and through and i have so much respect for her and it’s so weird because i’d never want that for me and it’s so traditional but she’s such a caring woman. only for her blood tho it’s so funny the way she could care less about those around her. um, i hate the rich things ya know the “status, and being poised” thibg but i have to realize it’s becaus of how she was raised and what she was taught was correct. i think lorelai never deserved that uobringing but i think emily tried her best in what she knew. and she tried to be better and wanted to be included in rory and lorelai’s life. even if she was always annoyed by lorelai’s jokes, she knew that was their dynamic and i loved that lorelai agreed to friday night dinners even after rory left it meant so much to her. and i love emily. she loves lorelai so much in her weird and twisted way, she does. that girl would kill for lorelai. i’d move mountains for this woman

9. richard

i needed time to get used to him at the beginning of the season but later on i found that i loved him too. the loving at first about the rory cryibg about yale thing was cute cause it was his first “i’m your grandpa i’d do anything and spoil you silly” event he ever experienced but it was so intense and i totally understood why he coddled her. i wish he didn’t cause it caused all the problems but it was necessary to see his love for her was strong.

they had to find ways in connecting in the beginning with the golf and the hat and books and all that but rory and richard were so close and i love that man. at the end, he saw no use in fighting with lorelai and even laughed at her jokes and was a mediator between emily and lor and the heart attack def did shit to him for him to say he knew lorelai was adored because she turned out to be a great person and that’s why the town loved her, it wa all so cute. i think at the end of the seasons we grow to love richard and emily so much so that we forget all the bad things they did.

kirk.

100000/10 he’s amazing i never would give him up.

enough daid, this show is great i love the complexities and i love the dynamic, the jokes, (some are problematic like the body shaming, r word, culture stereotyping, and sexuality jokes) i think that it was a great show focused on plot. i hated the first episode of the life thing the spin off i forget what it’s called, but you know. they made a lot of “spanish i don’t speak spanish” jokes and there’s barely still any diversity in the cast, and the jokes are so bad like they’re trying to be accepting of the lgbtq+ community but they made jokes so many times in season 7 that it can’t be ignored and like the amount of times they are so stereotypical to the asian community like “rory’s trip to asia”? like that whole episode was so rude with the hello kitty sign, but like idk

it’s a complicated show, i loved it and hated it, i have a love relationship with it that includes such tension it’s toxic. like i’m even hispanic and the whole bit of them not knowing soanish nor thinking they can learn a bit (idk as a inn owner maybe pick up a language/trade?) is not even that effecting to me cause i know them as characters on the show and the girls we grew to love are not like that at all. idk it’s so weird. idk y’all. anyways i finsihed it thank goodness now someone pls recommend new shows :))))

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #logan huntzberger #jess mariano #me rambling #there’s no end to it #i apologize but i had to let it out #enjoy this lol

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #tumblr is legit my fucking life now #motivate me to deactivate this blog to leave the hellsite forever 2021 #trigger warning: suicide mention #tw: suicide mention

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withoneheadlight · 3 years

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Tagged by @lovebillyhargrove @thesummerof84 @pretty-bratty and maybe someone else? idk? it's been long? xD

1. Your zodiac sign? aquarius. and i kinda love it kinda feel this is the origin of all my problems yk? xD

2. Favourite season/time of year? ohhh. summer if I have to choose? but is more like whatever happens in here between the end of april and the beginning of November xD. ithis is a rainy land, so the moment sun starts showing up more regularly is a blessing.

3. Your fav time of day/night? definitely the golden hour.

4. Your most MOST fav Billy scene? ahhh, choosing. not my strongest point. but my fav is probably his scene with neil. the whole scene, where in one sitting we get to see the rollercoaster of a human being that is billy hargrove. from the wink to the ass shake to the dick-perfumation to the way he calls neil dad and can't help but complain to the sudden change in his stance and the silence and that hard way he keeps staring at his father even if he's already crumbling inside and holy shit, the moment tears fall and he covers his face when neil closes the door. fuck fuck fuck.

but i also have a few favorite billy hargorve milliseconds like,

and my favorite favorite one,

5. Food you're craving atm: i'm currently obsessed with muesli xD. but the right answer is definitely ice-cream. always ice cream.

6. Your favourite kind of alcohol: i don't really like-like any? but i'm learning to enjoy the taste of white wine and i kinda enjoy hating beer as i drink it? it's a complex thing ok?. it's been ages since I've gone out but usually, i just drink whatever my friend is drinking bc i'm simple like that. coffee, please.

7. Neon lights/hustle and bustle OR the quiet of a small town/countryside? i LOVE city lights but they're too much for me on a regular basis. i'm def a small town/countryside kind of human. I've recently moved to the country and, in that sense, i'm the happiest I've been in a long long time.

8. Sugar!daddy Steve OR sugar!daddy Billy? Lmao)) : ohhhh sugar daddy steve yes, please. send recs my way.

9. The place you wanna be rn? as in the place to love— exactly where i am <3 but like, emotionally?, somewhere easier.

10. Heat or cold? more heart than cold? xD

11. Country you would like to visit (fingers crossed, they open the borders some time in the future) : wanna come back to Portugal because i'm. in. love. And there are so many others i'd love to go to but probably the states are on the top of the list, so i could see the places I've seen a million times already on my favorite movies. But above it all, i want to see a salt desert. Preferably Badwater, but i'd settle for any, really. i also LOVE gardens, and old houses' gardens the most. I'm dying to visit Bomarzo.

12. Yes, regrets 😔.. OR No regrets!!!!!!!!!😝 (About life, i guess??))), A lot. Really. But i wouldn't ever risk going back and not getting many of the things I've got rn.

13. ONLY IF YOU WANNA!!! A selfie??? I love your hearts already, let me love your beautiful faces)) hdhdushusadhhd i'm too shy to put my face out there on the internet xD, but i'll send it to you in the dms, love <3<3<3

and I'm l a t e for this and many of you have been already tagged, so i'm not gonna tag anyone this time but if you read this and wanna join? consider yourself tagged! <3

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aswellingstorm · 3 years

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taylor swift x catradora playlist

in honor of evermore dropping tonight (midnight, EST) i humbly present the following by album break down of songs that miss swift wrote solely for catradora

taylor swift (2006)

tied together with a smile--the struggle adora faces being the hero/put on a pedestal from her horde days to becoming she ra

invisible--catra facing jealousy over adora’s new friendships

i’m only me when i’m with you--young catradora/growing up in the horde

fearless (2008)

forever & always-- broken promise. need i say more

white horse-- catra’s resentment for adora’s hero complex

breathe-- mutual catra & adora--struggling to cope with the other choosing the opposing side

you’re not sorry--adora coming to terms w post s3 catra & having to accept her former best friend has gone too far this time

change-- post s1 victory for adora

speak now (2010)

the story of us--princess prom catradora vibes

mean--unfortunately.........could see the best friend squad singing this therapeutically & adora thinking of catra

better than revenge-- ‘stealing other peoples toys on the playground won’t make you many friends//i’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey’....jealous catra really comes thru here

innocent-- feel like this could be applied to adora but more specifically catra losing herself and her innocence in this war/getting caught in the cycle of abuse shadow weaver set her in at a young age

if this were a movie-- adora’s naïve hope that catra might make the right choice one day

haunted-- ‘all this time you and i have walked a fragile line, never thought i’d live to see it break’, easily fits into adora leaving the horde, but def has the angsty vibes for ‘save the cat’

back to december--regret. longing. wishing u could take something back but knowing you really cant

enchanted--ok hear me out. not necessarily a ‘meet cute’ for them, but could def see this song playing at a princess prom post s5 and being a cute look for them over all.

red (2012)

treacherous--post ‘save the cat’, catra learning redemption is....something she Wants

the last time--post-portal. def reminds me of the scene where catra saves glimmer and apologizes to adora

sad beautiful tragic-- break up sadness

the lucky one--more adora becoming she ra/learning the truth of mara

i almost do--catra & adora missing each other on opposite sides of the war

come back...be here--^^

state of grace--end of/post s5

1989 (2014)

out of the woods--i mean..........those ladies entered the whispering woods in s1 on a stolen skiff and did not leave until the end of the series

all you had to do was stay-- aside from the title... “let me remind you this was what you wanted // you ended it// you were all I wanted //but not like this”. def catra yearning

i wish you would--all of the lyrics. all of them

bad blood--warrants no explanation

this love-- “when you’re young, you just run// but you always come back to what you need”......................the defense rests

clean--s4 adora accepting and coming to terms w catra’s decision

wonderland-- really captures the betrayal/hurt of s1 catradora

you are in love-- adora POV// subtle moments leading up to realizing she loves catra

new romantics--”we need love, but all we want is danger//we team up then switch sides like a record changer”

catra’s personal memoir reputation (2017)

i did something bad--a title that could (unfortunately for everyone else) summarize a large majority of catra’s decisions. the song is very justified/righteous anger/revenge. basically a ‘fuck you, i know i’m bad’ & embracing that. reminds me of her kicking sw & hordaks ass (the rebellion could never) and her just...war criming it up in the crimson waste

Look What You Made Me Do-- void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra--

getaway car--could see this from adora’s perspective to catra solely for the whole leaving/betrayal bit. but might be more fighting for double trouble & catra’s relationship

dancing with our hands tied-- i mean...lyrically. everything. but esp ‘I'd kiss you as the lights went out//swaying as the room burned down//I'd hold you as the water rushes in//If I could dance with you again”

dress-- “i dont want you like a best friend”. period. end of sentence.

this is why we can’t have nice things--s1 promise feels. the lack of forgiveness, the shade. u know.

lover (2019)

cruel summer-- “i scream for whatever it’s worth, i love you--ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” the heart. the longing. the ‘i dont want to keep secrets just to keep you’

the archer-- ‘who could ever leave me, but who could stay?’ + the rest of the song is v fitting for both catra/adora

afterglow--making up, admitting wrongs--catra perspective

miss americana & the heartbreak prince--idk just the narrative of the song reminds me of them

it’s nice to have a friend--whooooh boy this post is not about glimbow but this song works equally as well for them

daylight--enjoy the healing

lover--enjoy the healing pt 2

death by a thousand cuts-- warrants 0 explanation

folklore (2020)

finally

the 1-- definitley adora POV, reminiscing on maybe what they could have been. maybe in a world where catra never redeemed herself or they never reunited and adora watched her friends pair up/get married/build lives w each other, she might realize there is a whole in her heart. a part that’s missing and cant be explained, but she feels it every time she looks at glimmer&bow.

cardigan-- feels like catra writing a letter to adora. reflecting on the feelings of hurt and betrayal after time has passed and the anger fades

exile -- lowkey the premise of my fic but. ‘i’m not your problem anymore/ you were my crown/ now i’m in exile seeing you out’ catra was raised to feel like she was adora’s problem to fix. she feels cast aside by her for a majority of the series etc

my tears ricochet-- “i didn't have it in myself to go with grace//and you're the hero flying around saving face//and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?//cursing my name, wishing I stayed//look at how my tears ricochet” tswift explained this in the doc about how no one can hurt you like your best friend turned enemy. so i think in that sense this song works from adora’s perspective--but there’s so much bitterness and anger that i feel like it fits more from catra’s POV

seven-- “love you to the moon and to saturn//passed down like folksongs//the love lasts so long” i feel like this is so young/child adora and her feelings of protectiveness over catra. their bond through trauma and abuse

august--lmaoooooo i know. ok i KNOW what the deal is. i KNOW that cardigan, august and betty are a narrative story and really there are 3 POVs--james, betty & august. but i will do with that what i please. i just see catra’s pov from this song just as much as i see it for cardigan. her losing adora/feeling like adora doesn’t want her back or will choose other ppl over her.

this is me trying--can fit adora’s need to be everything for everyone/fear of failure--leading to burn out. also works for what i assume how catra’s redemption arc continued post s5. progress isn’t linear and this can show both of them struggling to recover from abuse

invisible string--if u strip out the imagery of taylor and her mans then sure

mad woman--i MEAN...is this not catra’s villain origin story? so often she was just poked/kicked/provoked into continuing down the dark path. not always by adora but regardless.

epiphany-- ‘with you i serve, with you i fall down’ reminding me of them both fighting/practicing/training together pre-s1 as well as them finally teaming up

betty--betty betty betty. the worst thing these two have ever done is what they did to each other. i see it more catra to adora, but it can go either way. gotta admire catra’s range for fitting into the role of betty, august + james... who else is doing it quite like her?

peace-- adora to catra. she can never not be she ra. is that enough for catra?

hoax--def more of a catra POV

evermore (2020?)

tbd......

#not me including almost the entire folklore album on here.........not my explanation solely devolving into brain rot......................#catradora #catra #adora #spop #tswift #long ass post my b

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notnctu · 4 years

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ooh i'd like to request something from the prompt list! 5 + 9, kinda angsty but with a nice ending, slight rivals to lovers with jaemin! it would be cool if they're like, superhero students dispatched into a mission gone wrong? i hope this is okay 😊 thanks ahead of time ☺💗

“hihii! this is the anon that requested the rivals to lovers superhero prompt? i just wanna let you know that if you do decide to write it, you can change the member--seeing that it seems youre getting a lot o# jaemin prompts ahaha 😥 if anything, here are other boys i had in mind: renjun, chenle, or yangyang!! 😊”

thank you for requesting and im sorry it took so long ); i hope you like it !! this is def something different from what i usually write :)

-author doie ❀

p.s. soft reminder to everyone that requests are now closed. we apologize for the wait and are doing our best to finish them all! thank you for your patience :)

superhero!yangyang x superhero!reader prompt #5 & #9 - “It’s so hard for me to hate you right now.” & “The thought of losing you scares me.” details - fainting, youre in a fire, explicit language genre - slight angst, fluff, rivals to lovers

“yangyang and y/n.” every hope is thrown out the window when you heard who you are paired up with. not that you had anything against yangyang, you two never really spoke often. and you two are not comfortable enough to be paired up for a mission together.

you catch him staring at you, hesitant to approach your standing figure. so you muster all your courage and strut towards him. with wide eyes, he opens his mouth to speak, “super speed.”

you’re a bit thrown off by his direct choice of introduction, not his name or age. just his power. “uh, invisibility.” you cough awkwardly and he nods. why is the silence so piercing?

“listen, i like to work alone so, all you have to do is not get in my way.” yangyang scoffs and flips through the information folder.

“that’s not what a partnership is.” you groan, already seeing difficulties with working with him. superheros always think they’re hot shit and can save the world on their own. no one values collaborative work, despite it being equally as vital.

“i think group projects are a waste of time, i’m not here to babysit.” he blows his bang out of his eyes, scanning the heavy text on the white paper. he isn’t even making the effort to share the information material.

“seems like you’re the only baby here.” you yank the folder from his hands to see for yourself. a small exclamation falls from his lips and he crosses his arms.

“don’t expect me to come saving your ass if anything goes wrong.” he glares at you, taking the folder back for himself.

the blaring red alarm rings throughout the industrial complex and yangyang is no where to be seen. if it isn’t villainous enough, you’re stuck in the middle of the burning building. there are so many things that could have been avoided leading up to this mistake.

proper communication with your partner. you two finally devised a plan on how to approach this mission. however, yangyang’s impulsive last minute decision cost you time to leave the building. and it wasn’t like you two have very good impressions of each other now.

you should have jumped out the closest window to exist. but you chickened out due to underestimation of how much time it takes going down the stairs and lack of knowledge of where the fire started.

truthfully, you still had trouble keeping your powers under control. so if yangyang did come back to find you, it would be quite difficult due to you constantly disappearing.

but his statement haunts you, he isn’t going to come save your ass if anything goes wrong. and the blazing fires make everything too hard to see... so maybe, yangyang is a man of his word?

you black out due to the lack of oxygen, hitting the falling floor with a hard thud. the heat encapsulating you all too perfectly, and you accepted your fate.

“y/n!” a panicked voice calls for you, yangyang is dashing between every room that hasn’t been eaten by the flames. fucking invisibility. but he’s too scared to be spiteful, he’s too worried about you to feel anything else. the thought of losing you scares him.

and he hears a thump, like something falling and hitting the ground. he runs, reaching your limp figure within seconds. however, when he reaches down to pick you up, he’s face to face with an empty floor. “now’s not the time, y/n.”

the fires are hot on his tail, so he takes a leap of faith to grab wherever his memory made your body out to be. he feels your arm, and you reappear before him. your eyes are closed and there is no consciousness. he curses underneath his breath as he hoists you onto his back, thanking the universe for the power of impeccable speed.

he’s out of the dying building before you two end up in ashes. the paramedics come, removing you from his care. but he’s following them, “y/n, you better be alive.” it’s almost demanding, as if he wishes he has the power to heal as well.

if he could turn back time to when he derailed from the original plan, he would do it in a heartbeat. to right his wrongs, to bring you back safe and sound. he won’t be able to live with himself knowing he could have prevented you from getting hurt. the fear of losing you has him rethinking all of your interactions.

maybe he should have been nicer, then you wouldn’t have to avoid talking to him. he should have been more open minded, then you wouldn’t have to hate him for being ignorant. he should have been more careful, then you wouldn’t be caught in a deathly fire.

yangyang’s eyes are heavy with anticipation and concern. “please, y/n. we’re partners, i need you by my side.” his whisper sounds absolutely defeated and hopeless.

with several harsh coughs, you shoot awake on an ambulance stretcher and yangyang gripping your arm tightly. “you.. came back for me?”

“duh! we’re partners. i’m bound to be there for you...” his voice trails off, eyes averting from yours. “i know what i said before, but... you couldn’t possibly think i would let you die, right?”

“i don’t know... you’re the big baby who doesn’t like to babysit.” you snicker, wiping an ashy thumb across yangyang’s soft cheek.

he perks up at your sudden affection and he mutters under his breath, “it’s so hard for me to hate you right now.” he glares playfully at you, just simply happy that you’re alive and smiling before him. he sighs, “you need to learn how to manage your powers. it was like finding a needle in a haystack in there.. except, there wasn’t a needle or there was but it was.. like invisible?”

“i get it! i know. i’m still adjusting.” your own power could have cost you your life.

“i’ll help you with it. we work better together anyways.” he grins.

your eyes light up to his offer, “thank you, for being my partner and for saving my life.” you pat his hand that holds onto your arm still. “i’m sorry we blew the mission, literally.”

but yangyang is quick to shake his head. “thank you for sticking by my shit for all this time. i owed you one.” he ruffles your hair through sweet giggles.

#nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #nct #yangyang scenarios #yangyang #wayv #nct imagines #nct asks #nct requests #liu yangyang

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sedge-and-sanctuary · 3 years

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👤🦊 and 🐾 for Dace? love that funky lil leader ;-;

CRY thank you I love her too :”) mess (for this ask game)

👤 if your wolf was a human, what would their life be like?

It’s funny even tho in game she’s like middle aged by wolf standards I still think of Dace as pretty young because I like-- remember her being born not long ago in irl terms I guess? So I picture her as like a Very Intense college student. One of those ppl who’s on student government AND the rugby team AND is a political activist AND is taking a full course load, AND--

Just one of those ‘how do you have enough time in the day’ types. she probably wants to be a politician or human rights lawyer or something. She drinks a lot of coffee and spends too much time on twitter.

I think as a human her & Rime are still related, either full sisters or half sisters, and Rime was a real Gifted Kid when they were young (I think Rime would be the older sister in this version, bcos Dace has big Younger Sibling Inferiority Complex vibes to me, & Rime has those older sister Too Many Responsibilities Have Been Placed On Me energies). By college Rime’s gone through that whole gifted kid burnout thing and is trying to figure out who she is now & is just watching Dace like jesus christ you do this on purpose?

🦊 who’s your wolf’s worst enemy? why?

IDK if she has an ENEMY at the moment (a leader can’t precisely have an enemy w/out making life miserable for that person yk?).

in the past she definitely had a (mostly one sided) rivalry with Rime but now they’re learning to be friends again! I think she resented Hoot early on for being this like Competent Adult Who’s Better Than Me but now I imagine she & rover & hoot are Jock Bros like. friendly rivals? I think the wolf she has the worst relationship right now is probably her daughter Perch tbh :/ like they’re not enemies but. rip.

THO also the new herbalist Chicory is I think p hostile to the pack as she’s settling in & Dace and her probably bump heads a lot right now (both very stubborn wolves with very strong convictions), especially because Chicory only joined because Herbert like... essentially forced the pack to take her in which I imagine Dace resents a bit. But again she can’t be openly hostile because of her position of power so I think they just sort of avoid one another for the most part.

🐾 how does your wolf feel about humans (or other non-wolf animals)?

I actually originally had a whole plot point where Dace’s Leaving Home & Learning To Be Better journey involved her like-- living with and learning from lots of other animal species and involved a really heavy handed bit about her literally watching a school of the actual fish dace and realizing the power of being small and weak but living in a group instead of being strong but alone (like. REALLY heavy handed. real planet of the apes prequel ‘ape together strong’ moment). So in that timeline she would have been very close to non-wolf animals and have even like? political connections to em.

Buuuuuttt I eventually scrapped that in favour of her like-- learning that what you do isn’t your self worth & you actually have to be happy with yourself as a person and find worth internally instead of externally. Which I feel like is a bit more of a grounded take lmao (tho I might save ’political alliance w other species’ as a plot point fr later cause I do think its cool).

ANYWAY ‘canon’ Dace doesn’t have that deep connection to non-wolf animals. She’s probably inherited a greater than average wariness and hostility towards humans from her dad Finch (who was owned & abused by humans before escaping to the wild) & she’s certainly like-- very ambitious and open to pretty much any new ideas to Make The Pack (and herself) stronger? which I think opens her up to communicating w & getting ideas from other animals (like Herbert-- she was def SCARED of him bcos he’s a big grizzly bear, but other wolves probably wouldn’t have considered going to a bear for help at all sorta thing)

#asks #wolvden #the sanctuary pack #dace #ty for asking!!#sorry my casual typing style is so like.... stream of conciousness giberish lmao

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gamergirluprising · 4 years

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Alastor’s Possible Backstory, Emotional, And Mental State.

Okay, so, I find Alastor from Hazbin Hotel one of the few characters that interest me due to his sheer mysterious aura. He has a lot of secrets and I’d like to dissect this man down to his mannerisms, his beliefs, his (low-key/high-key?) pessimistic view of life, and his use of voodoo. I personally am not a fan of the said show since it’s pretty vulgar and hasn’t caught my attention due to the possible problems I see in the show (Why the heck did the God in this universe allow a hierarchy to take place AND give people superpowers by turning them into magical animals and such? Why did he even make a Hell?)

But anyway, I’m not here to discuss my likes and dislikes about the show, I'm here to discuss the Radio Demon and what could have possibly happened in his life as a child to start this craziness and explain his complex personality, mental state, and emotional state. Alrighty with that being said, LET’S DISSECT!

ＭＥＮＴＡ L~𝓔𝓜𝓞𝓣𝓘𝓞𝓝𝓐𝓛 ~BEGINNING

Dude’s got a mental problem fam, and I'm not saying this just cause this man’s teeth are as yellow as Bill Cipher’s entire existence. No, no, no this man is crazy for not just his unhinged need to see other’s fail and to have utter and complete control(Will tackle later) he’s crazy for his huge narcissistic behavior. Dude, Honestly thinks he’s better than everyone and ONLY allows those he thinks are worthy into his “friend” circle. I quote friend because I’m not too sure how exactly and deeply he feels about Rosie aside from their relationship being like Jack and Mary from Mary Poppins Returns, as stated by Vivzie on twitter. He finds those who don’t always smile as people who are WEAK and LAUGHABLE and regardless of how they are, he still finds them to be weak, which BY GOD is such a flawed way of thinking GEEZ. Now after reading about Alastor and becoming more intrigued, I decided to do research on his behavior and when and how it starts.

𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐦 has 9 defining traits. I’ll go over a few that I’ve noticed.

1. He really thinks he’s more important than anyone else and has shown this through his mannerisms, the way he speaks, his vibe and just his general character scream “I’m better than you!”

2. HE LOVES SHOWING OFF! Dude can’t seem to get enough of the spotlight, thus why he LOVES to broadcast his carnage on the radio! Why else would he do so!? He finds constant admiration and respect when he does his “little” display of power!

3. Now, we ALL know he has done some pretty...gruesome things to claim strength and be seen as the strongest, even when there are others who are stronger he displays himself as if he is more dominating and wouldn’t waste his time with, how you say, vermin. This is evident by his response to Vox

You can find where I found this here at Faustisse’s cleanup and Inking vid of the upcoming Alastor Comic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_15UYpcWJ_Q

In case it is too hard to read due to the bad quality, Alastor is saying “Show off all that and no cattle.” which is pretty much “all hat, no cattle” (or, alternately, “big hat, no cattle”) which refers to someone who is all talk with no action, power, or substance behind his/her words. I’d applaud this power move, and still kinda do, if it weren’t for this dudes BIG HEAD lol.

BUT, you get the point, the dude is an egomaniac! “We already knew this, I mean DUH!” you say to me pinching the bridge of your nose. “Why do you point out the obvious?!”

Well, notice how severe and prevalent these traits are. Don’t you find it odd how this dude has SEVERE megalomania? Well, I did research and found out that Narcissism has a very sad connection most of the time and affects males more than females.

at https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/causes-of-npd here’s what I found

Notice the parental factors during early childhood are all abuse-related. This could very well be one, if not the main reason, why Al is the way he is: He was abused as a child! And to make matters worse, as I was looking deeper into this, I noticed that sexual abuse is ANOTHER factor, which would explain why Alastor doesn’t like being touched without consent or by surprise but will GLADLY invade other’s personal space to feel in control (He's a hypocrite like that). Sexual assault victims ALSO don’t like being touched without consent so this just adds more proof to my claim! And serial killers tend to have a rough family life and have been molested, taken advantage of, neglected, or all of the above!

It’s also come to my attention that Alastor enjoys talking with women more than men for 2 reasons. 1) Alastor finds it easier and more enjoyable to talk with women. 2) He finds men to be dumb brutes at least in hell.

I give COMPLETE CREDIT to @dollymoon

Thank you for the awesome amount of facts you’ve provided! RESPECT! https://www.tumblr/dollymoon

Alastor most likely has a very harsh grudge against the world due to his treatment as a young child. His abuse, and possible loss of his mother growing up, lead to him finding joy in seeing those suffer and fail EVERY SINGLE TIME! Notice the way he talks creepily to Charlie about watching sinners “Repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pits of F A I L U R E.” Look at this man’s face as he’s saying this! The man looks turned on with the VERY fact of people suffering, that’s his kink, y’all, he a damn sadist! (No, being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t have kinks, I’ve checked, lol. Got you fam.) Ima kink shame the hell out of this man (Pun-unintended)

Ahem, anyway, this dude has got a hate boner for the world and finds relief when exacting pain on others because he feels wronged and feels the world is to blame. He does seem to acknowledge and accept that where he’s at is the end of the road for those who want to change, their chance was when they were alive, and has accepted that this is the natural order of things and they can’t fix that. I had this vibe that he must have gone to church as a kid due to his mom being religious and he loved his mom so he obeyed, Has been stated by Faustisse that he’s a mama’s boy, BUT remember, Vivzie said anything that comes out of HER mouth is what’s canon. Unless she has already stated it as fact any other info can’t be trusted. (Even though this info is PAINSTAKINGLY clear just by him mentioning his mother’s cooking and it just makes too much sense, lol.)

So he must have grown up to be low-key violent but with manners like he practiced being slick and suave in order to trick people into trusting him so that he may kill them without getting caught, which would work perfectly with him not chasing people due to his moral code. He practiced and practiced and seeing as how he was well-off in his later years, I’d assume he started doing his radio schtick when he was in his early 20s or at the age of 18. So he began when the roaring 20s was just starting, a new beginning for him!

Alastor's name means "he who does not forget", "avenger", "persecutor", "tormenter", "one who suffers from divine vengeance".

(This also makes me think his real name is Alexander/Alexandre since it's the exact opposite of his Hell-Name and more interestingly, in terms of name-giving traditions, between the latter half of the Spanish period (1790-1803) and the beginning of Jim Crow Segregation (1893-1964), gallicized names of classical Greek and Roman origins dominated in Loiusiana. This may be due, in whole, or in part, to the fact that New Orleans had North America’s (excluding Central America and the Caribbean) first Opera Houses and Theatres, owned, frequented and operated by Creoles from Louisiana, Cuba and Saint-Domingue/Haiti. Adonis is my second choice since It literally means "handsome man" and that would totally fit him for his handsomeness to the fact I feel that his mom would def name him this outside of Alexander/Alexandre.) http://www.mylhcv.com/common-creole-names-for-males/

This is a HEAVY hint to what happened in his life and why he’s so drawn to seeing people fail and helps hold my theory together quite a bit, if not a lot. Of all the names to give this dude, he was given a name that legit is on par with the word “Vengeance” and “Avenger”. Vengeance for what? Avenge who? He was wronged. He possibly is angered also by the death of his mother, who was most likely his ONLY ray of light. He is a broken man who most likely has insecurities, based on the info of narcissism which tells us that narcissistic people are the most insecure sorts of people. Alastor is aware of this and sees it as a weakness, something to be culled and hidden from the world never seeing the light of day. His only way of making himself feel stronger and more in control was through voodoo and cannibalism. Many Cannibals believe to be the bees-knees since they go a step FURTHER into crime by devouring their victims and placing themselves into a rank different and more feared by the rest. They see that no one else would even have the balls to attempt to reach that spot, which again leads back to the way Alastor thinks. He just adds oil to the fire when doing voodoo and doing BLOOD RITUALS which you can see him doing when attacking Sir Pentious! https://twitter.com/hntrgurl13/status/1197918059836690433?s=20

Dude has so much baggage that he hides behind a smile he thinks ALONE brings strength like niBBa are you serious? I’d like to see this man try and say that to the faces of strong people like Superman, Goku, Midoriya, Naruto, Broly, Wonder Woman, GOD. Yo even GOD shows emotions. Wanna know why these beings are strong? It ain’t just cause they smile, Nah, it’s cause they’re determined or the very literal embodiment of determination. they have a damn balance and that strength helps them smile through the pain, they don’t need to exhibit a smile to be strong cause them being themselves and having the strong mentality is what gives them strength, not a damn smile. Watch Charlie hit him with the good old reality check when the man attempts to freaking take over her joint (Both hotel and hell) and she proves strength ain’t just gained through smiling or dominating others. He high-key sounds weak for even having that mindset, only weaklings think like this. He has a very weak view of life which brought forth a monster, or should I say DEMON.

Here’s the info of him not liking being touched.

I’d also like you guys to keep in mind that Vivzie has stated that none of the characters have split personalities, proving Al knows EXACTLY what he's doing.

It’s all them but some have a DUALITY to them. As hinted at by the word "dual" within it, duality refers to having two parts, often(but not always) with opposite meanings, like the duality of good and evil. If there are two sides to a coin, metaphorically speaking, there's a duality. Notice how Alastor also has a duality in him. What kind tho? Remember those shadows that follow him everywhere? Yeah I'm pretty sure those shadows represents his duality in some way, shape, or form.

I also forgot to add that Masochism and Sadism both ALSO stem from the same things Narcissism does or similar things like being sexually abused as a kid. Remember not all cases are the same, I just wanted to put that out there (Not sure If Al is still a Masochist since that’s old info from him being just a deer and liked it when people tried to kill him.)

So in conclusion:

-Dude was possibly abused as a child by his Father

-he hates society/the world due to his terrible child life

-He possibly feels shame for what he has done and thus has accepted his fate

-He loves his mama and MOST LIKELY hates his father who probs is the one who did him a terrible service for just being his father growing up, this would explain his view on men as well

-He also feels shame for being so weak to even allow his father or any male figure to do what they did to him

-Man gets turned on when seeing people like sinners suffer.

KEEP. IN. MIND. None of this excuses his terrible behavior and excuses for being so power-hungry, He’s an interesting character and I love his quirks but he is by no means a victim without faults. He is a product of society and that’s sad but he needs to pay for his horrible actions. Cannibalism is going to far, using you and your victim’s blood for voodoo isn’t excusable, and just killing someone for the sake of vengeance won’t make the pain go away, so nothing he does that involves harming people is cute or a way to suppress his anger, which he’ll have to learn the hard way in this story, I bet. Hopefully, it’s done well cause he’s still very much a bad guy regardless of the fact that he is aiding charlie.

WHEW, that was a long post, one of my longest ones! I really wanted to write out my thoughts on this character cause I’m ALWAYS intrigued by the mystery characters like him withhold. They tend to have hints to their behavior and it was really fun traveling through the possibilities of his nature. I’m probably 100% wrong about all of what I said since I am still not sure about everything and I researched as much as I could. I wouldn’t have had such an easy time if it wasn’t for @dollymoon and their amazing efforts to inform the community, y’all crazy but y’all dedicated so respect. I am not part of the community so I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint all the info and more. So this is my piece on Alastor the Radio Demon, a.k.a dude who looks like he’s taken ecstasy.

P.S

-Why is this man wearing a torn up and ragged jacket when he can easily make himself a better freaking jacket? The man wore a one that was fresh as hell during his reprise, so what gives?! and why in God’s name is his damn teeth yellow? How you gonna say “You're never fully dressed without a smile” but got on one of the dirtiest smiles I’ve ever freaking seen? I'd rather not smile and be strong than to wear my clothes at its dirtiest(his smile I mean). Ain’t no way in the fresh hell would I invite an edgy radioman, who I know does voodoo, into my damn house, I am too black/Haitian for that bull.

-Y’all finna tell me why y’all falling for a man who canonically has stank breathe...?

At least clean his damn teeth and give him a mint first, D A M N people!

again, thank you very much @dollymoon

but yeah, that’s my theory y’all, hope you enjoy and sorry for the constant repetition in here! DISSECTION OVER. . .

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel character #hh theory #alastor radio demon #radio demon alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor theory #Alastor is freaking crazy ya'll #cartoon theory

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donnieluvsthings · 4 years

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anyway i’m still thinkin about roceit newsies au...this got SO LONG its basically a bullet fic of the whole plot at this point but uh enjoy!!! its has all the sides and remy and emile bc i rly wanted to shove them all in here aldkaldka

this is based on the musical mostly bc i have never watched the original movie all the way thru oops

roman is jack and remus is crutchie (thanks boop). remus does crazy stunts even with his crutch and roman is Constantly Worried TM and overprotective of remus even tho remus can DEF take care of himself

on the other hand remus knows roman hates working as a newsboy and just wants to escape to some small town where he can become a local artist of some sort. remus wants roman to go CHASE his DREAMS even tho he’s afraid roman might leave him behind

roman may be the actor but remus is great at coming up with gruesome yet intriguing headlines that get people to buy papers and would totally be a great author of some sort

ON THAT NOTE roman dreams of santa fe and can picture it perfectly but whenever he tries to explain it, it comes out as senseless rambling and longing. it’s remus who can really put into words what roman feels (bc theyre bros and they just GET each other)

virgil as davey, patton as les, logan as sarah (its the musical but they have an extra sibling okay. let me have older brother logan)

virgil and patton show up and virgil is super untrusting and hates that theyre basically lying to get people to buy papers but patton is just EXCITED to meet New People!!! and looks up to roman (and remus), like, instantly

it helps that roman promises to take them to a real actual theater after they sell all their papers owned by the one the only emile picani !!!

also roman is the one who first calls him “virge” which is like jack saying “davey” instead of david. yes this is necessary information

so they sell their papers (and roman briefly meets an ESPECIALLY handsome guy wink wink) and go see emile who performs some variant of That’s Rich like the star he is. u cant take singer emile away from me

roman also performs bc i said so. he spies someone watching him during his act up above the stage and climbs up there when he’s done

janus. its janus, if that wasnt clear or u dont know the plot of the newsies musical aldkaldlal

so yeah janus as katherine!! he may be pulitzer’s son but that doesn’t mean his father wants him to be a journalist. pulitzer thinks he should prepare to inherit the publishing company or be a banker or smth, not be a journalist

i just think janus’ “society is a LIE” vibe fits with katherine. i mean, just look at Watch What Happens. “give life’s little guys some ink,” “they’ll storm the gates,” “rich greedy sourpusses” .... idk it just SCREAMS janus to me

ALSO, katherine technically lies about her identity for like 3/4 of the musical, so

anyway! roman meets janus and janus is all suave and lowkey flirty at first but then roman starts flirting BACK and jan is like “uh oh how to talk to cute boys????”

so then he gets all “i have more important things to do” *hair flip* and goes back to the article he’s supposed to be writing about emile’s theater (a lot of his notes are about roman’s performance but nobody needs to know that shhh)

roman draws a portrait of jan and leaves it there and janus gently & dramatically picks it up, stares at it, and tucks it into his suit with a soft smile

uh oh prices for papers went up! virgil steps up and helps roman lead a strike. turns out his caution works GREAT with roman’s determination and they keep each other from going towards extreme overthinking (virgil) or extreme stupidity (roman). they are a TEAM and they are BESTIES.

remus: lets SET THE PAPERS ON FIRE

roman, starry eyed: HECK YEAH LETS DO IT

virgil: how about we dont do that and instead form a union

and then the twins are like GOOD IDEA and tell everyone else. virgil may be a cautious and untrusting and afraid of public speaking but he has good ideas dangit

the intro to seize the day yknow? virgil says a Good Idea (which can probably be traced back to him always listening to logan rant about his studies) and roman spreads the message in a Firm Rebellion-y way to the other newsies

and patton is there doing his absolute best. he may be small but he knows that this isn’t right or fair to the newsboys and he’s ready to physically fight someone

enter logan who is lowkey really proud of virgil for stepping outside of his comfort zone to do whats right. logan may be scared out of his mind for his little bros but he’s gonna help them as much as he can between college and trying to work side jobs to help their fam

basically logan knows janus and tells him that he should report on the strike bc logan wants to help his bros AND his friend however he can

cue janus seeing his opportunity and TAKING it. he’s gonna write about this strike even if no one else will!!! take THAT, father

he also maybe possibly wanted to see roman again. but roman never needs to know that okay what he doesnt know cant hurt him

seize the day happens!!!! they strike!!!! they r powerful!!! but then no one else from any other sections of new york strike with them and they lowkey get rekt

remus mocks the delanceys but that was a BAD decision cuz now theyre targeting him and he gets taken to the REFUGE

roman is SAD bc his brother’s been taken away, no one showed up to help them strike, his brother’s been taken away and he just wants to get OUT of there. run away to santa fe, his ideal world, but he can’t even articulate that because his brother is gone

how is that just act one. how have i written so much yet left out so much???

remus is at the refuge and he’s a little more scared, now, that roman really will just leave him behind even though he knows deep down that roman would never.

still. he writes roman a letter and maybe he goes into a little too much detail about his injuries and the refuge but hey, that’s remus. he writes about how maybe they can run away to santa fe together. he signs it “your brother” and i CRY because they are the best bros

roman reads it and ALSO cries. especially because there it is, the description of santa fe he can never come up with by himself. remus rly does know him, huh

total scene change: janus finds the other newsies (and logan) in a restaurant? bar? and is like “!!! ur on the FRONT PAGE on my newspaper” which i just decided is called the snake instead of the sun

virgil didn’t totally trust janus would follow thru at first but now he’s convinced. they did it!!!! theyre on the front page!!!! the world WILL know!!!!

cue tapdancing!!!!!! king of new york is an absolute bop. i need logan tapdancing daintily and then janus LAUNCHING into some complex tap routine bc the newsies think he too will dance daintily

i know they wouldnt,,, actually dance but just let me have this self-indulgence in this entirely self-indulgent au

the Bro Trio + janus go hunt down roman to show him the paper and find him painting stuff at emile’s all sad and upset bc, well, they lost and remus was taken

but virgil is trying to show him that they made progress!!! sure pulitzer won but he won the BATTLE and actually the poor guy’s head is spinning bc theyre gonna win.

“cmon, ro, if i’m is telling you to be optimistic there must be hope”

see virgil calls him RO and its cute bc roman gave him the nickname ‘virge’ and now virgil’s giving him the nickname ‘ro’ theyre just besties okay

roman is unconvinced but then logan, who roman has actually never met before, steps in with Facts and Statistics, and patton adds some adorable words of encouragement, and janus sassily waves their Front Page Story at him, and roman starts realizing they DO have a chance

but then uh oh pulitzer threatens remus and the Bro Trio and roman is forced to speak out against the strike or risk ruining the lives of everyone he loves. and also he finds out that janus is pulitzer’s son and is Betrayed TM

theres some “he’s just trying to build up a false confidence in u so u can plummet to even greater depths” parallels in there somewhere....u can’t trust many people as a newsie and when roman DOES trust someone turns out he’s the son of the guy ur trying to fight

so roman says overnight in pulitzer’s basement, sleeping on an uncomfortable old printing press, and makes his decision

now for the RALLY

remy is spot conlon bc he DESERVES to be the leader of the brooklyn newsies. brooklyn, flushing, richmond, etc all show up to a newsies rally and are like YEAH!!! STRIKE!!!!

virgil is trying to tame the crowd nervously and keeps waiting for roman to show up bc they work best when theyre working together!!!! finally roman’s there and virgil introduces him (the attention isnt solely on him now thank gosh)

but then roman starts talking about how they dont stand a chance and how they shouldnt go on strike and virgil is just. confused and upset and angry

especially when he sees one of pulitzer’s employees slipping roman wads of money

virgil corners roman afterwards and is absolutely RIPPING into him. roman could fix this if he would just tell virgil the truth, tell him he doesn’t care about the money, he just wanted to keep him and patton and logan safe—

but roman knows if he tells virgil, then virgil will turn all his anger towards pulitzer, will be able to convince roman to keep going, and roman won’t. he can’t put virgil, put his family, at risk.

so he lies.

he doesn’t mean any of it. but he says it.

and maybe he kind of understands why janus lied, too.

he says he’s never had anyone to take care of him or remus, not like virgil does with his parents and his older brother. he says virgil will never know what it’s like.

virgil scoffs and glares and beneath all his fury looks crushed. but there’s still fire in his eyes, a spark roman saw that first day that only grew and engulfed any doubts virgil ever had.

roman says he’ll take the money and go, leave new york behind.

virgil says fine. we don’t need you. because you know what? all those words you said were mine. i didn’t have the courage to say them back then but now i do. we don’t need you.

(because i watched that scene in the movie and like YES go OFF davey i mean virgil)

roman flees to his “bedroom” which is really just a fire escape and just longs for remus’ reassurance. he has the letter but it doesn’t seem as encouraging now, not when he’s lost everything else important to him.

then janus shows up and roman’s mad at him but not mad enough to kick him out. and janus watched roman just give up on everything they’ve been fighting for and just wants to know WHY. why did he turn his back on the newsies when they were so close?

and roman, tired and upset and defeated, just says they wouldn’t succeed. even if all the newsies went on strike no one would report on it, anyway, because pultizer has all the printing presses on lockdown, even the one janus published from. and they already lost once! what more could they possibly do?

roman looks out over the railing, chest heaving from his rant, longing for his imaginary santa fe where he doesn’t have to face his failures. janus stands next to him and puts his hand over roman’s.

“i don’t have a simple answer to that question....but here’s a start.”

and janus pulls out a paper with roman’s words (well, and virgil’s, because virgil said it first but roman rephrased it powerfully, and that’s why they worked as a team) typed out, words that make the strike not about newsies but about ALL working children in the city who are being exploited for their youth and naivety.

it’s an entire article, expertly written. if published it would get the word out to the other newsies that they haven’t given up and show other working children and adults alike that this is IMPORTANT and they aren’t going away.

and then roman remembers his drawings of the refuge and remus’ graphic descriptions and shows them to janus and hey!!! they have a plan!!! they just need to print it....

roman’s like yo there’s an old press in ur dad’s basement he’d never suspect anything

and theyre both so excited and theyre gonna DO this, FINALLY, and janus sees hope on roman’s face again, maybe permanently this time, and janus just leans in and kisses him.

its very sweet and cute and theyre in LOVE

they pull back and kinda stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before both of them start grinning

and they both know its fragile, that they’ve hurt each other and trust was cracked, but it wasn’t broken completely, and they can fix this. they believe in each other and that’s enough for now.

and then they go find virgil at his house

roman knocks on the door and virgil opens it and just. glares at roman. and roman starts rambling apologies and explanations and tries to tell virgil about their plan and did he mention he’s sorry

virgil kinda just stares at him as he goes on and on and the only thing that stops him is patton running out and launching himself at roman

then logan appears behind virgil, and virgil kinda just smiles

“glad to have u back. again.”

and then they go sneak into pulitzer’s basement and print the article with jan’s writing and ro’s drawings and remus’ descriptions and the other newsies go spread the papers ALL around the city

the next morning EVERYONE is out on strike!!! u cant get ANYWHERE without seeing ppl, newsies or otherwise, filling the streets with chants of “seize the day”

roman, with the Bro Trio and Janus trailing close behind, waltzs on in to pulitzer’s office and flings the money pulitzer gave him back on the desk and is like whatcha gonna do NOW, joe??

pulitzer angrily tells them he’s a fool for going back on their deal and logan steps in sayin pulitzer is a fool for letting this get so out of hand over a 10 cent price increase. his sales are down 70%!! objectively the price increase was like the worst business decision ever

virgil’s like plus it’s making u look bad that ur business is the reason most of these kids are suffering. people really love kids, mr pulitzer and patton smiles brightly but in like a menacing way

then emile walks in with a ~dazzling smile~ and is like ur son told me about this whole situation, it’d be a shame if i contacted my good friend governor roosevelt who won’t be as kind as these brave newsies since u tried so hard to stop him from being elected :)

((in the show roosevelt is actually there but i want emile to have a moment to SHINE))

so pulitzer’s like FINE and talks to roman alone and roman wears him down, throwing words from janus, virgil, and pulitzer himself right in pulitzer’s face until FINALLY they have a deal. he’ll lower the prices by half AND pulitzer will buy back whatever they don’t sell full price

roman bursts out of the office into the streets where all the newsies are waiting and is like WE WONNN

and since they published all that stuff about the refuge in the paper, the guy who runs it is being arrested and REMUS IS FREE

the twins hug for like a full two minutes

then pulitzer offers roman a job as a political cartoonist and roman’s like. well idk now that this is over i should probably...head out

bc lowkey he’s thinking virgil still doesn’t wanna see roman ever again and he did say he would leave, so

but then virgil’s like come on, ro, you don’t really think we want u to leave, do u? what’s santa fe got that new york aint? tarantulas? sandstorms? stampedes? you can’t go to santa fe what if you DIE—

and logan says new york’s got us!

patton: and we’re family, right?

then janus is like you got a union to lead! and...you got me.

and remus is like bro, anyone can dream, all you do is close ur eyes! but some made up world is all you’ll ever see. (bc he’s the wordsy one, u see. he helps roman have the poetic realization that his santa fe isn’t real, but this IS)

so roman says well if u guys INSIST.....and then he takes jan’s hand and kinda asks w his eyes and then kisses jan in front of all the newsies who proceed to cheer obnoxiously

when they break apart roman leads janus by the hand over to the paper-buying-cart and slaps some couns down on the table and BUYS SOME PAPERS BC THEYRE NEWSIES BABEY

and everyone lived happily ever after🥰

#sanders sides #roceit #creativitwins #newsies #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #bullet fic #repost bc tumblr glitched hardcore #uhh anyway the original tags i had were smth like #‘i rewatched newsies and i love it also i love jeremy jordan also stan newsies the musical’ aldkaldla #roceit newsies au #donnie writes

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jxles · 4 years

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✧･ﾟ( artemis + erika linder + woman ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( juliet (jules) hellström ) around ? ( she/her ) has been in kaos for ( twenty-six years ). the ( twenty-six year old ) is a ( wildlife officer ) from ( kaos, greece ). people say they can be ( hard to work with ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( tenderhearted ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( eyes that speak for themselves, the contradiction of the softest toughness, feeling of safety and warmth ). ･ﾟ✧

( penned by lauren, 23, cst, she/her ).

hiii, i haven’t been in a group in a very long time but im excited to be here!! a lil nervous, going out of my comfort zone in some areas, but all around excited. fun fact, i had a mumu group almost just like this a couple years ago, except the difference was the gods kept their memories so they were all wilding out being human hahahah

feel free to skim this lol. but im in love w some of y’alls characters and i can’t wait to start talking to you and interacting! please feel free to message me whenever srsly! im in the discord you can find me there or pm me here.

one thing: is im very slow and have a disability and it’s rly hard for me to keep up with and concentrate on really long stuff, so keeping interactions just a bit on the shorter side will get our characters much farther with me lmao.

you can find her pinterest here, and i’ll make a playlist soon enough.

BASICS; brief about/family/small details

Honestly she might stab someone (if they actually somehow know her name) if they call her Juliet instead of Jules.

She turned 26 on October 16th (which is the traditional day in celebration of Artemis as the goddess of nature and animals).

She was born here in Kaos, I felt like it was important. Artemis was close to the nature in Greece specifically, hanging out around important rivers and forests constantly, befriending and loving the creatures in these areas. The nature of Greece was Artemis’ home, so it only made sense to me that when they were sent here she would wind up right back in it.

She’s very obviously not Grecian though, lmao. ((Erika is clearly Swedish, but German is a much more common demographic in Greece (actually one of the most common for non-native population). Scandinavia is all part of Germanic origins anyway, therefore,)) I think her family immigrated here from that region long before she was born!

She isn’t religious and has honestly never thought about it. (Laughable considering she’s a deity.)

She has a twin brother and he’s honestly like... too much for her to deal with lol. This is definitely me giving her a human brother that is the equivalent to the pain in the ass that Apollo was for her lmao. She loves him, but she will most definitely hit his ass when he’s annoying her. lskjdflskjdf

She doesn’t have a close relationship with her parents. There wasn’t really anything wrong with her upbringing (wow, me? making someone’s childhood average?) but they were never like close in the slightest. Her parents didn’t really want to be together, they only were for her and her brother, and the tenseness just radiated constantly. It wasn’t awful, but it obviously wasn’t ideal and even as a kid she’d much rather be playing with bugs in the backyard than hanging out inside. Once they’d grown up, her parents split. She has a more easy going relationship with them now, but she doesn’t feel the need to call.

She has a few tattoos here and there, for sure, but I haven’t picked them out yet.

She has two cats, and a snake. She doesn’t have a dog of her own, because she fosters them instead!

RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY

TLDR below. Her gender is very difficult. I tried to explain it on my app but flailed around like a dumbass lmao. It’s a very common lesbian experience to be caught in this weird gender limbo. Not truly cis, but not really trans either. ((((Lesbians in my support groups all joke, “No gender, just d*ke” slkdflskdjf)))) So many of us connect to being a woman and womanhood only through our love for other women. And Artemis is definitely a lesbian, and I smile because through my eyes, I feel like I can see this being an experience all the way back to her. She declined and refused basically traditional forms of being “a woman” -- childbirth, marriage, sexuality specifically for men... and yet, she is the goddess of childbirth, fertility. It screams to me her love for women, and her connection to womanhood only being through other women. It’s very interesting and very complex, and very hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it. But yeah!!!

My character is definitely also not feminine. I don’t think Artemis is either. I look at her statue where she’s leaning and got her hand on her hip and I’m like wow that’s some serious butch energy lmao. Big d*ke. Idk!!

TLDR: Jules is (def soft butch) lesbian, and her gender is neither trans/nb, nor quite cis either.

On that... god, she loves women. Like, how can you not? They are soft, and all of them are complex, and gorgeous in so many ways. Artemis was surrounded by like 50 nymphs at all hours of the day everywhere she went lmfao. Gotta catch em all LSKDJFLDKFJ.

So, Jules is definitely a stereotypical lesbiab in that she lowkey falls in love (in some way, and not necessarily romantically, just such a deep appreciation) w every lady she meets because, uh? Women? Magical, stunning, brave, phenomenal, spectacular, showstopping.

Because of this, and Artemis’ inclination to have every lady imaginable, Jules has a very hard time being in relationships. She doesn’t have like issues with it, and isn’t like completely afraid of commitment, it’s just kind of how it is. She loves to meet new women, and learn about them, etc. Butttt it’s not out of the question, if she meets someone super special. Artemis did get stuck on Callisto for awhile.

OCCUPATION

She is a wildlife officer, so you can find her around any local parks (protected water and forests, etc) doing her thing.

Making sure people aren’t abusing the nature or the animals, watching for wounded animals, protecting hunters, etc. All kinds of stuff.

She was never really interested in college, just not into it. She’s not really the scholarly type. She could have gone into zoology or something of that nature, and she thought about it, but it ultimately just wasn’t her thing. She’s happy where she’s at.

PERSONALITY

She’s a little hard to work with. She likes to do things her own way. Unlike most kids with siblings, she didn’t enjoy giving way for her brother. But I mean he was also a dumbass (in her humble sisterly opinion lmao) and she never felt the need to bend to his ideas.

Still, she’s super kind and understanding -- uhhhhh at least with women, (she kind of >.> dislikes men-kind, always has but it’s only increased as she’s gotten older and more bitter toward ways of the world, and after an assault that isn’t necessary for intro tbh or who she is), but still.

She is so so so so so soft inside lmao. She presents very tough just kind of naturally, but watch a lady smile at her the right way and her heart will melt smh.

She is definitely not a people pleaser. She does not care. Like, at all.

Um I feel like this wasn’t very good. I probably forgot something, and probably explained too much of other things. But!!! I just want to post this now so here we go lol. I hope this works well enough. I’m not good at bios so... some facts n stuff!!! Please message me aaaaa, I also @’d and messaged some of you, as well!

#kaos:intro #{ intro.

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treason-and-plot · 7 years

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SIMBLR STORY MEME THING (redux)

Let's talk about your story! Here's what you do: 1. how many stories are you writing? 2. What's your favorite story/favorite post you've written? 3. Who do you personally ship in your story? 4: Who do you think has had the most character development in your story (bonus: why) 5. Tag 3 story simblrs that you've been reading!

I was tagged by @blythelyre, thanks Babe! I originally did this meme here but I wanna tag some more people whose answers I’d love to see so it’s all good.

1) Still only writing the one story, Five Years Later.

2) The first time I answered Roy and Sonia’s wedding and that is true in terms of fun...I truly look back on it as being the best fun I have ever had writing anything, and also setting up the scenes, choosing the outfits, the decorations etc was a blast too. But if I would have to choose my favourite post in terms of actual feels, it would probably be the aftermath of Joël finding Anita cheating with her workmate. And this song always plays in my head as a soundtrack, and the lyrics never cease to give me chills when I think of poor Jojo’s heart being ripped out of his chest. I don't know who you are now, all the things I hear you say, you talk that way, you're a stranger.... 😭😭😭

3) Jonita and...heheh. I also still secretly ship Romi, lulz. And I love Seph and Audrey. I really want to explore their story further. How I’m going to do this has not yet fully revealed itself itself to me, but if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I have faith.

4) Naomi, no contest, but thinking about my current story arc def also Mia...I feel like I owe it to her, she’s a trooper and has gone through so much, the poor lamb. Why has she had so much character development? Well, I think I owe it to my characters, basically. Of course I owe it to my readers too to have complex characters who aren’t stereotypes. And to have them continually surprise people is great and hopefully keeps people interested in their lives and stories.

5) This time around I would like to tag @mada-didi @trembling-hands and @sunset-melody! Cheers, possums!

#blythelyre #sims meme #characters #mada-didi #trembling-hands #sunset-melody #text post #icehouse

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thefudge · 7 years

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Hi :) I was wondering which are your book OTPs.

so you mean my literary otps?

get. ready.

1. SO. since you started me down this path, there is a little known book by barbara pym called excellent women, about this spinster-in-the-making young woman (called mildred) in england’s 1950s who becomes friends with her downstairs neighbors and develops an innocent crush on the husband of the family. now, that’s not the otp. oh, no. see, the neighbors have this anthropologist friend that is this haughty impatient dude who sneers at everything and seems perennially vexed (he’s not really proud, he’s just super particular and doesn’t have patience for artifice and good manners). IN COMES our protagonist who just doesn’t really know what to do with him. they just sort of accidentally spend time together and they have this amazing dynamic that i’ve looked for in other otps but haven’t found since. basically it’s this fascinating ease they have with each other and this natural grouchiness they share; he doesn’t treat her as a “woman” per se, but as a human being, whom he questions and challenges. he doesn’t put her on a pedestal and he doesn’t really love her for any special quality, it’s so fucking charming and effortless. there is this JEWEL of a scene where he awkwardly invites her over for dinner, and mildred thinks he’s your average asshole bachelor trying to get a free meal out of her (basically, having her over to cook for him) so she rejects him. she eventually does come over and when she acts surprised she doesn’t need to cook for him, he’s SO outraged like “wtf cook for me??? no thank u??? that’s not why you’re here grl”. it is PERFECT. i may be super subjective, tho, but these two owned me and still do. oh also, the dude’s name is EVERARD. it truly is perfect. so yeah, mildred/everard 5ever.

2. elizabeth/darcy is a given, but i will like to say that from austen’s plethora of delightful ships, my angst-sucker-punch will forever be fanny price/henry crawford from mansfield park. yeah yeah, fanny ends up with dreaded cousin edmund for…sigh, good reasons i guess. like, it’s probably just my weird hang-up and perhaps austen thought this ship was too much “reformed rake” for her taste but maaan, when this tiny ship sailed, it sailed (i’m also always a sucker for playa dude plays himself with feelings)

3. here i go with my obscure shit again, but this novel from amelie nothomb. it can be translated as “the sparrow’s diary”, and it’s such a weird otp, because this dude is hired to assassinate a whole family, from what i remember, and he goes through with it, but he discovers the diary of the teenage girl and keeps it for some reason. and he falls for her, post-death. it’s messed up and amazing. and i won’t spoil the ending, but whoa. yeah, so assassin/sparrow. my jam.

4. eliza doolittle/henry higgins. grouchy marrieds seems to be a theme. i love how unsentimental this ship is, when you get down to it.

5. beatrice/benedick from much ado about nothing. def see a pattern here.

6. phaedra/hippolytus. yes, the original mother/stepson ship yall. euripides was my guy. also, here’s a delightful pic from one of the stage adaptations

6. eve/the literal devil in paradise lost. the original sinful otp. i remember milton writing about lucifer pining over eve and her coolness. the BEST.

7. robin/cormoran strike from the cormoran strike series by jk rowling. THESE TWO, lord oh mighty, you know, i do have harry potter ships aplenty, but rowling never ever managed to kill me with feels UNTIL ROBIN AND CORMORAN. fuck me. they are the exact mixture of banter/tough-love i adore so much. and what should be obvious from this entire list is that i love it when the gents treat the ladies like fully formed, complex human beings.

8. amy/nick from gone girl. one day i will wrote a whole “post” on my theory that gillian flynn actually wrote the truest romance ever with these two. yes, also great commentary on the patriarchy and the capitalist twist on marriage etc. BUT deep down, this is a story of two people who come to really, finally see each other for the first time. and what they find is that, paradoxically, they match really fucking well. U HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. nick doesn’t just stay with her at the end because he’s “trapped”. it’s a larger metaphor for me. he’s trapped because no one will ever know his soul like amy, and vice versa. it’s only after you’ve shat on each other forever that you can come out of it remade. FIGHT ME. (my second secret theory about gone girl it’s that wuthering heights with reversed genders and a sordid, amazing HEA for cathy(nick)/heathcliff(amy).

9. iago/othello - i would argue iago’s deep loathing was desire, mixed with a desperate need to subjugate othello.

10. onegin/tatiana. yall. YALL. if you have never read “evgheni oneghin” by pushkin, remedy this mistake immediately. it’s a tragicomic lyrical novel about a young dandy who is doomed to ignore love when it is presented to him. but it’s also great, trope-wise. basically, he meets this young woman, tatiana, whom he finds pretty but simple and too romantic. she falls for him and tells him earnestly she wants to be together. this takes place circa early 19th century in russia. he rejects her. skip to 10 years later, she’s married to some important dude, he’s still embittered asshole, but he meets her again and falls for her. the roles are reversed, however. BOOM. weep on that.

11. lestat/louis/claudia for my anne rice fans. what a trash fam.

12. alice munro has a short story called “passion” which forever owns my soul. in it, this young, kind of naive girl goes on a drive with her boyfriend’s brother and well, it’s the best thing ever. the saddest, too. basically, those two.

13. clara kalliam/ vincen coe. okay, yall, you may have no idea who these folks are but hooo boy, did they ruin me. so daniel abraham has this fantasy series called the dagger and the coin. basically, clara is part of the upper class society and is married to a baron. vincen is her husband’s servant. he is several years younger. their bond can never be. enter lots of angst and yearning and hot chemistry. what’s hilarious/painful about this ship is that clara is a lot like catelyn stark and vincen is a lot like jon snow, soooo if you ever thought that would be an interesting pairing, you’re welcome (i should say, they’re hardly the main focus/main ship of the series but they do play an important part and they’re my bbies)

14. there’s this book by yukio mishima called “spring snow”, it’s part of a bigger trilogy of his on love. but anyway, the two lovers in that book are sooo fucking intense i die every time. he wants to hate her, but ends up worshipping her. she’s engaged to a prince, ofc. it’s hopeless. the aaaangst. (in later novels, there’s a great queer subtext involving reincarnation and two male friends, but! those two crazy kids).i had to look up their names again, but they’re called kiyoaki & satoko.

15. dunya/svidrigailov - sooooo. these two are from crime and punishment, by dostoyevsky. basically, it’s a petyr/sansa ship that goes there. there’s a scene where she threatens him with a gun and it’s the hottest thing ever. he’s kiiind of obsessed with her but she’s also drawn to him. it’s weird and tragic and hopeless, in the end, but sooo good.

16. pretextat/nina - another amelie nothomb novel, this one called “hygiene de l’assassin”. so, you have this author dude who is scum of the earth. erudite and refined but absolute piece of fucking shit. enter girl who read all his work and wants to interview him. she thinks she’s uncovered the fact that he murdered someone in his past. pretextat falls in love with her in the course of one conversation. at one point i remember there’s a scene where she spits on him. it’s the fucking best.

i think i’ve got many more, but just to give you a taste of my diverse literary menagerie lol. (jane/rochester should probs be there too but i decided to go with lesser known, more personal choices).

#long post #literary otps #my literary otps #ships #replies

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