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blood-orange-juice · 2 months

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Have you noticed how Aventurine has all the attributes of a proper epic hero?

Special Circumstances Of Birth, for example. If you look at world mythology, the hero is usually a descendant of a god or blessed by a god, and their birth is accompanied by some rare natural phenomena.

A tragic event forcing him to leave his home and shaping his goals.

An exceptional talent that comes naturally to him and separates him from other mortals.

The way he wins allies through skill and cunning. One of the best moments of 2.1 is when you realise IPC colleagues haven't thrown him to the wolves, they are rolling along with his insane plan. They trust him.

(this whole story he is, in fact, surrounded by allies and helped by them)

There's probably something else but I forgot.

Not usually a trait of an epic hero (usually required for a modern one though) but there's an ideal he strives to achieve. I loved his reason for joining the IPC.

Then there is that whole descent to the underworld thing. I'll be surprised if we don't see him again. And this is where it gets interesting.

I could brush this off as a hero's journey trope but, considering the illusory nature of Penacony, maybe he's more of an orphic hero than an epic one. He's also fragile and tragic in a very orphic way, unlike a proper hero.

Orphics believed in a cycle of reincarnation that could be escaped through their rites. The world was seen as a place of suffering and mortal goals as irrelevant.

Characters of Orphic myths do not return triumphantly from the land of the dead to smite those who wronged them. Their deities lose and are forever changed but get to move on in other forms (Persephone, Zagreus), their heroes acquire little apart from knowledge.

These are stories of surrender, acceptance, and transcendence and if any power is gained in the process it's through discovering or establishing different rules for the world and the characters themselves.

(oh, and probable ethymology for Orpheus' name is that it is derived from a hypothetical PIE root *h₃órbʰos — 'orphan, servant, slave'. now where else have I seen these words...)

It's so unlike the Hero's Journey structure described by Campbell and much more popular in modern media, where a hero gains a solution to the problem that pushed them to another world.

So I wonder in which form will Aventurine return. A hero who will set things right or a new genius loci of Penacony. Or an eschatological deity, perhaps.

Or maybe he's Orpheus himself and he'll come back empty-handed.

#hsr spoilers #penacony spoilers #aventurine #hsr #guys #he's not jesus #he's orpheus #this little peacock charmed everyone with his song #or rather annoyed #the important part is that it worked #and maybe he'll find his sister in the underworld #he won't bring her back of course #this is not how the story goes #but maybe he'll see her #I wonder if he'll become an emanator #but I'd prefer if he doesn't

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greenteaandtattoos · 4 months

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Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]

#lgbtqia #aromantic #asexual #why aren't aroace characters enough?#it's fucking annoying having aro and ace characters dismissed #because you'd rather have a DIFFERENT sexuality #and just use the aroace characters as a way to boost the other sexuality #orringinal grumbles

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hedgehog-moss · 9 months

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Various ways in which I have underestimated my chickens (callout post to myself):

cognitive abilities (memory): I dropped some pasta while making a salad earlier and Louise was nearby so I opened the door and invited her into the kitchen to come clean up. At first she just meandered round the room glaring suspiciously at furniture because she's unfamiliar with the inside of my house, then I helped her locate the pasta and she pounced, but before she could eat all of them Morille came zooming across the room with Pandolf zooming behind her, which freaked out the hen who noisily flew-ran out of the room. She stayed away long enough that when I called her inside again I expected her to have forgotten all about the pasta, and that I would have to show it to her again, but instead she went straight for it, resolutely, having clearly kept this important goal in a corner of her teeny tiny mind this whole time.

hunting abilities: before getting chickens I didn't realise they actually hunted? (sometimes.) I pictured their search for food as quiet foraging, busily scratching the dirt for worms, but a) hens are never quiet they're always chattering to each other so already that part was wrong; b) when they find a worthy prey they hunt it with the fierce determination of a mountain lion. I once saw Dru chasing a grasshopper across half the pasture, running at full chicken speed and sometimes boosting herself with her wings Mario kart-style while the grasshopper desperately hopped for its life, until eventually she pounced with her beak wide open and managed to catch it mid-jump. With an action movie soundtrack this scene would have been every bit as intense and gripping as a cheetah hunting a gazelle in a wildlife documentary.

social abilities (empathy): one time Cordélia had a little bit of grass stuck in her eye and she kept rubbing her head with her claw to try and dislodge it unsuccessfully, and then she seemingly asked Dru for help, placing her face very close to the other hen's face like "see that stupid twig?" and Dru removed it with her beak. Again that's not something I would have expected from a hen... they're very disloyal creatures, so it was fascinating to see. They would stab their grandma for a dusty rigatoni but leaving a friend with something stuck in her eye is apparently a level of antisocial even chickens won't cross.

social abilities pt.2 (romantic sensibility): sometimes when the night sky is clear and you can see the Milky Way, instead of tucking themselves in at sundown like they usually do, they'll fly to the roof of their coop and sit there for a little while to watch the stars together. Okay this one may be a tiny bit less scientific an observation than the others but I don't have an explanation for this behaviour; I've never noticed anything wrong with their coop on these particular nights, the door is open, they can go in—and the girls don't seem stressed at all, if anything they look like they're having a nice peaceful moment and I feel bad for bothering them.

#crawling along #they are not stargazing in this pic because they are now watching pandolf who is circling the coop. but they were just before!#also re: pt 3 it's very possible that rather than wanting to help #dru thought the blade of grass was a delicious food item she decided to steal #which would still make it a good example of chicken empathy but on cordy's part #she had to put herself in dru's shoes #what would i do if i were her? immediately steal the thing from my friend without remorse #therefore she will rid me of the annoying thing

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arushofbulletstothehead · 11 months

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Guys who are most likely dead in canon

#spy's disguise #spy’s disguise #tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #engiespy #practical espionage #sorry for giving 09 thicker brows and sharp teeth… had to distinguish him from the other Spies somehow #(as if the rotary cannon wasn’t enough…)#a version with Dell instead would probably make more sense with the red and blue contrast #+ they’re both annoyed of the other’s existence in canon #but alas that is not my job #also can you tell that the one on the right is newer #forgot to say that Dell’s somewhere in the back shouting things at them that I’d rather not say #s-09 #unnamed blu engineer #thing i made

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ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously · 5 months

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The saga of clingy Satoru continues

Lord give Shoko strenght

#Lets be honest #Gojo would have enough to do as a teacher but it's boring so he'd rather go see Shoko and annoy her #Gojo “one hour of physical contact a day” Satoru #At some point Shoko just lets him #it's easier to go by her day and carry around a clingy satoru than tell him off #as long as he lets her work xD #shoko ieiri #gojo satoru #fanart #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satosho #satoshoko #IPMSSA_SatoSho!Fanart

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canisalbus · 15 days

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Do dogs in your au ever bark or yip? Or do they mostly just talk like normal? :0

They mostly talk like normal, but sometimes some additional dog vocalizations slip in. I think unabashed barking or howling would be a little too obvious, but they might snarl a bit when angry, or maybe speak in a snarly tone, and unintentionally whine and whimper when they're sad, scared or in pain and so on. The canine sounds are more instinctual than spoken language and pups that are only learning to talk use them more than grown adults. In some circles they're considered somewhat uncivilized and people might think you're rude or not in control of your emotions if you're acting uninhibitedly doggish.

#language is learned behavior yipping is intrinsic #does that make sense?#answered #anonymous #Vaschete lore #while we're here I could also add that since the dogs can't sweat they pant when they're hot #but people generally would rather not be seen doing it #it's natural but kind of ungraceful #like have you ever been running and you're kind of self-conscious about how winded you're getting and don't want people see you #gasping for air and breathing really loudly #maybe getting hiccups or stuffy nose and it's annoying and embarrassing but you can't help it #or blushing and sweating and getting shaky handed when you're nervous #it's sort of like that I think

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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him#I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭#if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is)#he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED)#the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!!#literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

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saph-y · 1 month

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Me at 3 a.m. apparently : *Rolls a new Elden Ring game with my fav pkmn chara face for absolutely zero logical reason ⚔️🦌🩸*

(untrue, the logical reason is I wanted to.)

#...what the hell do i tag this xD #elden ring #tarnished #that's all i'll spare the actual character tag of this xD #i woudn't even post it normally buuut it's my birthday i'm allowed to be annoying on main u3u #my art #his name's augustine obviously and he's a confessor #don't look for any explanation there it's really just me wanting to try weird faith spells + taking a fav with me to face the horrors xD #or rather... put a pretty fav throught the horrors 👀 for the aestethic♥

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volitioncheck · 9 months

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does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.

do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.

i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.

sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.

if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?

i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.

life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?

i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.

#i really hope my point is understandable in that it isn’t that i think that stories where harry *does* become sober aren’t also valuable.#or that i want every post-canon harry to *not* be sober.#but rather questioning why there seems to be a subconcious necessity for harry to be sober to have kind things happen to him.#disco elysium #harry du bois #also obligatory because i am putting this in the main tag:#this isn’t a callout or vague on any one person/creator/group of people in particular #it’s more of a prompt to discussion on a very broad trend #one informed by insidious biases that live in all of us because we live in a society etc #that none of us are immune to but all of us have a responsibility to acknowledge #if there is goal to this post it’s to provoke introspection. not individual attacks #anyways i love quietly consuming fan content until something annoys me enough to make my own post about it #i do wish i Participated in fan communities more tbh especially this one i’m just shy lol #most of the time.#me talking

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orpheuslament · 4 months

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i <3 people who complain about "tumblr poetry" being trite & cliché when they have never had an original artistic thought really its great

#now say something nice & true etc etc #like i get being annoyed by the oversaturation of certain themes & motifs in art but what are You doing? making snarky posts on tumblr.com #congratulations #like id much rather read a thousand poems about love cannibalism guts etc etc than another of those annoying ass posts ngl #anyway #tbd

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parliamentoftoh · 1 year

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“Willow is the Evelyn to Hunter’s Caleb!”

“Luz is the Evelyn to Hunter’s Caleb!”

y’all constantly be missing the key part of this which is that Hunter is not Caleb in anyone’s eyes but Belos, and we already know who Belos considered to be the Evelyn in this scenario.

it’s Flapjack.

That’s it that’s your answer everyone pack it up and go home.

#toh #the owl house #this debate always annoys me #because it always turns into wanting Hunter to BE Caleb rather than it being Belos' gross projections #I'm a huntlow shipper but there's not a strong argument there let's be real #and I love the idea of it platonically being Luz - but that ignores the fact that in Belos' eyes Luz ALSO represents Caleb #he wants to 'save' her the same way etc. etc.#anyway put some respect on our late friend's name

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starrysharks · 11 months

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i am the cattt just chillin outt but in the night she's all i think aboutttt

#zeno's art #i feel so strong 😭 when shes around 😭 she picks me up 😭 when 😭 i 😭 am 😭 down 😭#even i can admit that i love the full theme song. anyway!#for this redesign i also wanted him to feel less generic but in a different way to marinette #i wanted his civilian clothes to look comfortable and stylish so hes like ... a rich boy who doesnt really dress like a rich boy #idk #i got rid of the purple to keep everything cohesive and because it annoyed me #and i tried to make the outfit less simiar to maris too. why were they both wearing nearly matching jacket shirt jeans ensembles???#i also wanted to make his hair look a bit smart with the side part but also a little rebellious with the spiked hair #that also creates a subtle cat ear silhouette.#with the chat noir suit: the original looks very uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear for a 14 year old (i think theyre 14 in the show?)#i remember that one of the designers for itsv said that most teens would be embarrassed wearing a spandex/tight suit if they were superheros #and thats why miles wore shorts and a jacket and shoes over his #so i thought 'ill make chat's suit more comfy'#rather than his weird leather suit its more loose esp in the legs to make an interesting silhouette #the cat scratches on the suit + the messier hair also signify rebellion #and the belt mirrors that of my ladybug redesign #the graident tail is just to match plagg + it looks cool #ok done rambling!#miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #chat noir #cat noir #plagg #zag studios hire this man

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sollucets · 9 months

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sand in episode three + smiling because of ray

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loraliewritesthings · 1 year

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Concept: inspired by @bluerosefox and they're work about danny demanding the jokers soul. I wanted to write the joker and Danny's interactions too.

Danny groaned as the next set of paperwork was slipped onto his desk.

Joker would soon croak.

He would slip on his own banana peel and fall down the stairs.

Gothem would celebrate that night with alcohol and music. The ghost zone would brace itself for the trial...

Honestly it was bound to happen. It wasn't that danny was surprised. But it would be a long drawn out case. When a human dies they become more of what they are after all.

It's like their souls are condensed to make up their ghostly form. As if their passions were their hearts.

For some that was amazing. Fiery passion can be useful in all sorts of situations, but for joker this would be a nightmare come true.

The ghost looked at him his eyes worried, almost teary.

"Should I alarm the Gothamites of the infinite realms."

Danny thought for a minute, let out a low hum, and thought some more.

He knew what he could do in theory.

If he was to judge the jokers soul in the room that he dies in, the ghost zone would be free from his wrath.

But if the joker defeated him in combat he shuddered at what that monster would do with all the power in the afterlife.

He didn't really think joker could take him down, but knowing others thought the same for him and his predecessor....

So Danny was left with one option.

"Call my knights," he commanded

The fright knight was captain. Head of the army and keeper of the soul shredder.

Danny only needed to borrow it, but when he explained the predicament the ghost dropped to his knees, the metal clang sound echoed through the office. The fright knight began to speak,

"You wish to spare me from looking into the eyes of evil, and I thank you my liege. But I can not and shall not send you alone to your second death."

Danny told him to rise to get off the dirty floor, but he continued.

"As captain of the guards my liege is only under my obligation to the knights under me."

Danny remembered the conversation that made that a possibility. That changed the priority of obligation completely and totally, hopefully for once and for all.

Danny hid a small smile and told him to get of the floor again

............

It didn't take long to find joker amoung the living. He was surrounded by weeping souls unable to move on.

Danny clutched his scale. A gift from clockwork, to a "good and fair king to continue to strive to be better."

Clockwork had, in the end taken up the role of advisor. As such he stood by Danny's right side, his captain to the left.

When they entered the room he was already dead.

The soul of the man was laughing hysterically.

He got louder when he spotted them.

Danny sighed and despite the noise tried to read him his rights.

He argued with each and every one in nonsensical logic.

The third time Danny slapped him across his ghostly face, leaving frostbite and cold crystals on his white cheek.

"I am not batman, I am death. I will not play as he does, I am the ghost king, death himself."

After the rights were read Danny peared into his soul, sticky and tar like, it made him feel ill. He put on the extra gauntlet brought and separated the dead from his deeds.

It felt like lifting a semi, and weighed him down about a foot.

The joker cackled with pride. Danny wondered if he didn't understand the gravity of the situation, or if he didn't care.

Then with the other hand he did the same to himself.

Both sets of deeds were set on the scale at the same time. Danny barely caught the peice of his own ghostly form.

The scale broke the table on its way down, jokers sludgelike, corrupted deeds stuck to it. The scale hadn't twitched once to the other side.

The knights went to pick up the piece of soul and put it back. It took three of them.

Danny put his deeds back were they belonged.

When everything was dead and done, joker was declared guilty and chained down, something he escaped out the window and around the block to avoid.

Danny took out the soul shredder.

It wasn't the fright knights job to play executioner.

Then the joker was blindfolded, he made this difficult via attempted biting, but once it was done, it was done.

Danny didn't ask for a last word.

He took the sword and swung as he had been taught. And as the jokers very soul was torn, the bells rang in Gotham for the first time in Years.

He didn't miss.

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 1 year

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I said I wasn't going to get started on the topic of Aveline ruining Carver's chances with the guard but I lied okay, it's Carver Hawke defense hours.

Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you believe Carver was or wasn't fit for the guard. That's a different debate that I'll get to. What matters is Aveline's in no position to tell the guard not to accept his application. Why does she think that's her right to judge whether or not he's fit?

Carver should've had the chance to prove himself one way or another. If it turns out he's not a good fit, then let him fail. Let him learn from it.

"Oh but failure could mean lost lives-"

Aveline doesn't get to talk shit about failure and the people. Plenty have died on her watch yet she still believes she's a good guard and Guard-Captain.

"maybe Aveline's protecting him, Carver could die while on patrol-"

Carver could die working in the Bone Pit, or serving as a templar, or when he's running around with Hawke. Carver could trip and fall down a set of stairs and die. In fact, he can die in the Deep Roads, somewhere he wouldn't have to go if the Hawke's weren't desperate.

Either Carver fails as a guard, or more likely, he succeeds and proves himself worthy of it.

But let's be real, Carver probably kept getting rejected due to being a Fereldan with a past of smuggling/mercenary work and Aveline only reaffirmed the decision, either because they asked her what she thought or she stuck her nose in unprompted.

But what irritates me is that she admits to telling them not to accept his application, and then has the balls to call Carver too proud to take up a trade or find another line of work.

Carver tells her, "And who would take on a Fereldan apprentice? Maybe in another year I could work my way up to pissboy." He has a good point here. Aside from the guard, the only other place Carver could work and use his skillset is with the Templars. Or go back to mercenary/smuggling work.

And Aveline doesn't even have a real answer for him. No suggestions, no encouragement, nothing. Just "Fine, let's crawl down some holes. Good bloody luck for your sake."

Also, if you do the Mark of the Assassin DLC in Act 1-

Aveline: You should see if any of the noblemen are looking for new men-at-arms. Carver: Are you trying to get rid of me? Aveline: It's a role with some autonomy. A good fit with your training and... tendencies. Carver: After serving King Cailan? You want me to suffer some poncy git who needs two servants to wipe his own ass? I'll find my own way, thanks. Aveline: I wish you would.

You wish he would?? Aveline, he was trying to find his way into the guard, a position he'd make a good fit for, and you helped deny him of it because YOU didn't think he would be good enough, I just-

If I haven't made it clear yet, I firmly believe that Carver would've made a great guard. He wants to help people, to be a protector. He's loyal, and despite what Aveline claims, he can follow orders and take his duty seriously. We see him do incredibly well with the Grey Wardens, after all. If he were a guard, he wouldn't have to go down into the Deep Roads with Hawke, and I think he would've been okay with that! He's so hurt and bitter when you leave him behind because that effectively tells him, "I don't need you." Carver's spent the whole first act telling you he wants to go on the expedition aka that he wants to be needed.

But if he were a guard, he would be needed elsewhere. He'd be in training as a recruit. He'd look after Leandra while you go. He wouldn't be backed into a corner with no income and only the templars left as his chance at forging his own path and providing for his family.

He doesn't get that opportunity, though.

By the way, if he becomes a warden, you can get this banter:

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

This banter makes me want to scream.

Aveline's just... she's so insistent that she's right. She's someone who will double down rather than entertain the idea that she's wrong and it's not just with Carver and the guard, it's with everything. The "my beef with Aveline" list gets longer and longer every time I replay da2, I swear.

Say what you will about Carver, whether you think he would've been a good fit or if Aveline's right and it wasn't for him, he was denied a chance and it cost him so much in the end. He either dies, or he joins the templars where he deals with Chantry's bullshit trying to brainwash him with "mages aren't people" and "magic is a cancer in this world", or he's infected with the blight and becomes a Grey Warden, forced to serve the rest of his life fighting darkspawn, tormented by voices and nightmares.

I will never not be bitter about this.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age #carver hawke #aveline vallen #aveline critical #oh and also forever bitter that hawke doesn't have the option to talk to aveline about this #because listen my hawke would be on this #carver would be annoyed and all 'i don't need your help >:[' but that's not gonna stop ed from turning on Big Brother Mode #this is just one of many reasons i can't do the friendship path with aveline #i hate the thought of doing rivalries for all my other companions but i feel like aveline's rivalry route is the only chance to shake her #of her unwarranted over confidence and make her realize that she's not this lawful good 'i stand for all of us' guard captain #she still stands with me in the end but at that point i wouldn't be surprised if she was just doing to because she still feels she owes ed #for getting her outta fereldan and into kirkwall rather than because we're loyal best friends y'know?#she's certainly not doing it for the mage rights #but anyway i never miss an opportunity to defend carver #that's my baby brother and i love him

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penofwildfire · 25 days

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Can Kai fans shut up about the thing with Chen's staff already it was like 13 seasons ago and lasted 20 seconds or something it was not that important.

#I guarantee he barely thinks about it #sorry this sounds so hostile I'm just annoyed #ninjago #kai #kai jiang #I just don't caaaaarrrrreeee #and as someone else said a lot of kai fans would rather have him be manipulated by chen and traumatized about it than #think about and analyze skylor who ACTUALLY went through all the stuff they put kai through in fanfics #it's exhausting

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