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mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

can you do iwa chan with a male lover and how they’re always roughhousing and the one time reader gets hurt, iwachan gets so guilty 🥺

Ahhhh-sorry for not doing the Sakusa request (I can post the draft if you’d like) , I don’t know his character very well because I’ve watched and rewatched the 3 seasons multiple times and I’ve only seen s4 once !!

————

Iwaizumi x reader - broken pride

⚠️ warnings - ME MISSPELLING “IWAIZUMI” THE WHOLE FUCKING FIC AHAHAH I FORGOT THE “I” mentions of breaking a bone..?

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“Iwa-Chan, (n/n)-Chan, you’re gonna break the floorboards!”

Ignoring Oikawas pleads, Iwazumi shoved at (y/n) to receive a ball hurling at the both of them. (Y/n) kicked at Iwazumis shins and dived for the ball. His body slammed against the floor as the ball struck into his outstretched arm, flying back to the direction it came from. (Y/n) let out a guttural laugh, raising his middle finger up to the mad, but smiling, Iwazumi above him.

“Take that, stupid Iwazumi! Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!”

Iwazumi extended a hand to (y/n) bringing him up to a hug and patting his back, after pulling him up. Iwazumi and (y/n) were, surprisingly, best friends.

“Jeez (y/n)-that’s gotta bruise,” Iwazumi chuckled, breaking the hug to examine his side. (Y/n) swatted at his hands, chuckling aswell and stretching.

“Ah-who cares? It’s just a bruise, it’s not like I won’t be able to play anymore.” (Y/n) rubbed his neck, down casting his eyes a bit. “Cause I’m gonna be the one to bring you all to nationals.”

“Yeah, if you left I’d kill you.”

(Y/n) gasped, feigning a hand up to his forehead. “Iwazumi! How rude! Plotting to murder a poor, innocent libero!” (Y/n) turned his head away dramatically. Iwazumi let out another hearty laugh and punched (y/n) in the shoulder.

“Jeez iwa-Chan, (n/n)-Chan, we have the spring inter high coming up, don’t break eachother!”

The two sent a glare and a smirk over to Oikawa, who just stuck out his tongue and went to set to someone else.

———

“Alright! We’re gonna play a little match, so form two teams for me!” Coach Irihata boomed from the side of the court, making several players stop and scramble to pick up the volleyballs they’ve been using for individual practice. Players sifted left and right, teaming up with people they got along better with. (Y/n) caught sight of his best bro Iwa-chan, and jabbed him in the ass.

“OI!” Iwazumi let out a yelp and covered his abused cheeks whilst turning to face the libero. (Y/n) smirked at Iwazumi.

“Oi.”

“Jesus...so which team do you wanna joi-“

“Actually, why don’t we play against eachother?”

Iwazumi blinked. Darn. He kind of wanted to play on (y/n’s) si-

“So I can beat your ass to the ground with a volleyball.” (Y/n) balled up his fist and dug it into Iwazumis shoulder blade.

Oh, it’s on bitch.

“We’ll see, (y/n). Your going down, idiot.” Iwazumi smiled irritably and clutched the arm balled into his shoulder. The two walked away to the opposite sides of the court, Iwazumi joining Oikawas side while (y/n) joined the other. They each held a competitive glare, staring eachother down from opposite sides of the net.

Coach Irihara sounded the startup whistle, looking at each of the players. Iwazumi would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling strangely hyper and competitive right now. He watched the ball fly over his head, eagerly waiting for the ball to return to his side.

The ball once again flew over his head, this time in his direction. He made eye contact with oikawa, and all too fast, he giddily jumped up and slammed the ball as hard as he can, in (y/n’s) direction.

Damn, he thought. That spike could rival that stupid number 10 at karasuno.

The ball zipped over in (y/n’s) direction, giving him little to no time to react. (Y/n) made the mistake of crouching down, hand outstretched against his kneecap, and bracing for impact. The ball plowed straight into his wrist, the remanence of Iwazumi’s powerful spike curving, and hitting his arm where it hung off his knee.

A loud cracking noise, followed by a piercing scream echoed across the gym. Each and every player fell silent, only gawking at the boy writhing in pain on the floor, clutching a mishapen wrist in his free hand while the ball tumbled away from him pitifully.

His wrist would’ve stood a chance if his knee wasn’t in the way, if the ball would’ve landed flatly against his arm, but given the power of the spike and so little reaction time, (y/n) was actually pretty lucky to even touch the ball in the first place.

It was like propping a frail wooden stick up against a rock, only to snap nimbly in half by stomping on it.

Iwazumi’s traumatic expression only deepened when he finally caught sight of (y/n’s) swelled up, deformed hand being swarmed by concerned teammates and a coach who was rubbing his back soothingly. His legs were rooted to the wooden floorboards, as he stared guiltily at his doing.

Iwazumi staggered slowly towards the body laying on the wooden floorboards, until he was ushered away by Kindaichi and Oikawa.

“He needs to get to a hospital, coach is calling his mom. Its best if you don’t...” Oikawa patting Iwazumi on the shoulder, contrasting his usual upbeat stupid attitude.

It wasn’t his fault, right?

It’s not, right...?

Right?

——————

The rest of the day flew by for everyone.

(Y/n’s) mother came and drove him to the hospital, where he got his wrist fixed. Since he needs time to heal, he wasn’t permitted to playing volleyball for a few months, or even applying any extreme pressure on it at all.

Meaning, he couldn’t participate in the spring inter high games.

(Y/n) seemed like he was in a daze most of the time, like he wasn’t really present when the teacher called his name, or when Iwazumi asked to hangout. A shell of the former glory he held in his broken wrist. (Y/n), for once in all 16 years of his life, was silent. And all that silence and guilt was eating Iwazumi alive.

(Y/n) was the most excited for the inter high games more than anyone. It made sense that he’d be at least a tad bit creastfallen, but it was even making the whole team depressed.

Another school day ended in seconds. Everyone packed up their stuff, conversing with their friends or just shuffling out of the classroom. (Y/n) numbly stood up, tentatively shoving books and papers into his bag with his good hand. Iwazumi watched him pitifully drag himself through the doors of the classroom.

Enough was enough, the wing spiker decided. He was tired of seeing him act so depressed. Or maybe that’s just what he told himself, to convince him, and the ugly guilt bubbling up inside the pit in his stomach, that it wasn’t his fault.

Because it wasn’t...

Iwazumi gently placed a hand on the liberos shoulder, more gentle than he’d been with (y/n) than they usually would greet eachother. It felt like ages than they last talked. It felt refreshing in a way.

“Hey.” No answer.

“Do you...do you want to come watch practice today...?” More silence.

(Y/n) stared at Iwazumi with cold, dead, unmotivated eyes. He bore a icy-hot gaze into Iwazumis face, while he tried so desperately to avoid his pitiful expression. The remaining sparks of the old (y/n) died in his cold eyes, while (y/n) shrugged his shoulder out from under Iwazumis hand. Wordlessly, he walked away, leaving the ace in the dust.

That hurt more than any other bruise or accidental cut they’ve ever given eachother, more than a cuss word thrown half heartedly at the other. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself bolting down the hallways, knocking past people, and sprinting to (y/n’s) house with no clear goal in front of him. He knocked on (y/n’s) house door. About 5 knocks later, a woman opened the door and greeted Iwazumi with a smile.

“Oh! Hello, Iwazumi! Is (y/n) with you?”

“Actually I-I was wondering if he was home-I need to talk to him.” And say what? Think these things though, Hajime. Damn. Iwazumi bit his lip.

(Y/n’s) mother cocked her head to the side. “No...he hasn’t come home yet. You can wait in his room for him if you’d like-“

“Thank you, Mrs (L/n)!” The boy flew past her, racing up the stairs. He stopped to a jog and eventually to a calm walk as he pushed open (y/n’s) door.

The room was always messy, but this just takes the cake. Papers and food wrappers littered the ground, the closet door hung open as clothes topped out of it, mixing itself into the mess called the ground, and his bed looked like a lazy excuse of a few sheets and pillows.

Iwazumi gulped. He normally would’ve laughed, or berated his friend for not cleaning his room, but he just felt a sense of guilt hit him like a spike to the wri-

The least he could do was clean up a bit. If (y/n) yelled at him for intruding, that was fine by him. It would just add on to the trouble he’d face for skipping practice today aswell.

Iwazumi picked up a trash bin and started swooping up pieces of trash.

It’s a process, Iwazumi. Do it for him.

————

“I’m home, mom.”

(Y/n) kicked off his shoes as carefully shook off his bag. (Y/n) caught sight of his mom in the kitchen, smiling and making her way towards the boy. She kissed him on the forehead, making him gag, and patted him on the head.

“How’s your wrist doing, dear?”

“It’s fine. It wasn’t hurting today.”

She clasped her hands together. “Oh that’s right! Your friend Iwazumi stopped by, I let him in-he’s in your room I believe.”

(Y/n’s) eyes widened. “Mom! Why would you do tha-“

“Honey, you need to talk to someone! I’m tired of seeing you so quiet and still! Where’s the rowdy volleyball player I know and love?”

They looked at eachother with a silent exchange. (Y/n) sighed and pressed his lips into a fine line. “One hour.”

“One hours all I need, dear.”

(Y/n) reluctantly trudged up the stairs, picking at the cast encasing his arm. The moment he swung his bedroom door open, he walked straight into the sight of a clean room, while Iwazumi folded his blanket. He whipped his head towards the door and dropped the blanket.

“Hey.”

No other words were spoken. You could hear a pin drop.

“...if your gonna say something, say it now, please.”

Iwazumi shifted his gaze away, uncomfortably. He never really had to deal with any other feeling than “fuck you, I spike harder” or “Get your ass over here, Oikawa”

(Y/n) quietly took a seat on his bed, not breaking contact with the person beside him.

“You’re...really bad at feelings aren’t you?”

“S-shut up! Shithead!” Iwazumi fumed, before covering his mouth. “I’m...im sorry I just-“

“God, I missed that. Makes me feel less ‘crippled’, yknow?” (Y/n) ran a finger across his dirty white cast. “Everyone was treating me like I was about to break, like-I’m sick of it! Insult me! Fuck me up! I’ll fuck you up too! Just because I broke my wrist doesn’t mean I’m some princess who needs saving, dude.”

Iwazumi met (y/n’s) eyes. For the first time in weeks, he saw the boy smiling, the same competitive, hardass glare he knew and loved. Seeing that calmed down his senses a bit.

“Jeez, if you had just told me that I would’ve broken your other wrist as well, fuckass”

“Hey hey, your supposed to be nice to me I’m hurting,” (y/n) chuckled, the sensation foreign on his lips.

The warm feeling of familiarity flooded the room as the two talked and joked around. It was the same, old (y/n) Iwazumi has known, but somehow it felt,..different. Like he was seeing his friend in a new light for the first time. Maybe it was because he hadn’t seen that smile he loved so much in was felt like centuries, or maybe it was something else.

Iwazumis eyes widened ever so slightly. “Ah-I should probably say...sorry...(y/n)..” Iwazumi said, finally addressing the elephant in the room. (Y/n) stopped laughing, and cocked his head to the side.

“What for...?”

“I’m the reason you can’t play anymore. Everyone knows not to aim for the libero, yet i did because I was stupid and I wanted to-“

“It’s fine, Hajime.” The boy looked at his friend. They almost never used first names unless it was something serious. He set his bandaged up wrist onto Iwazumi’s shoulder ever-so gently. “I don’t blame you. Even though you are pretty stupid. Even if I won’t be playing...ill still have fun cheering you on at the spring inter high games, I guess.”

The weird feeling from before resurfaced itself in the wing spiker. His heart began pumping faster and faster and he started to sweat a little. This feeling made him nervous, but in a good way? He didn’t know himself.

“...Iwazumi?” He didn’t realize he was staring at him before he started waving his cast in front of his face. Immediately he flushed up and took a step back.

“Are you...flustered? Oh my god were you thinking about boobs or something? Ahaha!” (Y/n) began teasing the boy infront of him, but it all went in one ear and out the other. Iwazumi couldn’t help but look at (y/n) with a certain fondness he’d never felt before.

Slowly, but surely, he would ascertain his feelings about the boy, but for now, he was content with being beside his best friend for just a little while longer.

——————

Very Tiny Tag list:

@kenmas-consoles

#iwazumi x reader #iwa chan #iwaizumi hajime #hajime iwaizumi #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu boys #haikyuu aoba johsai #iwazumi x male reader #haikyuu fic #anime

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sometimesrosy · 3 years

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Tips to write next to someone else? I moved houses around 7 months ago, and moved in with my boyfriend. We share an office, where he does his stuff and I do mine. Before confinement, I started writing at work at dead hours, but would sometimes write at home if I was alone or I'd move my laptop to the living room because I can't write near other people. Our desks are far apart enough that he can't read what I'm writing, and it's not like he looks. But now, we're both at home and I'm so +

+ so unmotivated that I just hate having to move my laptop. I was always lazy, and now I'm extra lazy. I haven't written since before Christmas, but I want to. I'm lacking motivation. But still, I share pretty much everything with my boyfriend, I really trust him. Why can't I just write next to him? It's like my brain blocks. Any tips to feel comfortable enough? Thank you!

+++

Okay, so you’ve got a block going on. You’ve identified it as needing isolation to write. You’re already ahead of the game. You know what’s wrong. It might be hiding something else, but you can’t figure that out until you figure out how to get over this hump. The mind finds a MILLION ways to keep us from writing, and we have to find the million ways to get us back to writing.

But let’s address this problem, here.

You need to write alone. Or you need to feel alone anyway.

You could move your laptop, but that turns out to be an obstacle when you’re already struggling. Okay, so let’s toss that one.

You could set up a writing station somewhere else. Period. And not have to move your laptop. Just keep it there. I have a writing station in my bedroom. I’ve got a chair and a small rolling desk. I did this partly because I had no energy to go to my actual office. So I had to address that fatigue issue. No I write next to my bed so if I need to lay down, I can, and then when my energy comes back, I get up and write again. I say this because it’s one way you can address an obstacle created by your personal needs.

Maybe a better spot for you would be in the kitchen next to the coffee maker, or in front of a window in the living room so you have a view, or on the porch when it gets warmer, I don’t know. It really depends on you. I actually have different places for different activities. My studio does work for painting or planning. I read in bed. For revising, I like to go to the porch. When it’s late, taking my laptop to bed works. I got a lap desk for that. Writing consists of different activities, so maybe some of those activities CAN work in your office with your boyfriend. Not just drafting. Outlining? Revising? Researching? You’re allowed to move for different phases of the process.

Or maybe you can convert a closet to a tiny workstation. I had a friend do that. Put up a sturdy large shelf and put a lamp and chair in there. Voila. Mini office that you can close off from the rest of the house.

No one says you HAVE to write in the office you share with your boyfriend. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean it works for you.

I might want to discuss this with him, because communication is important in a relationship and it’s also important to be open with your needs rather than silently suffering because you think you SHOULD be able to use the office with other people. Some people need isolation. Some people need the busyness of, say, a cafe. Some people need music. Some people need coffee. Some people need silence. Find out what you need and get it working.

Your boyfriend might have some solutions also. Don’t assume that he won’t help you coordinate things.

You can, for example, set up a schedule in the office. Maybe he doesn’t need to work there all day. Maybe he wants to take breaks from the office where you can work there alone.

Or you could rearrange the office, not just so that you are far enough apart that he can’t read your screen, but also so that you are not in each other’s line of site.

Think about how offices sometimes work. Or libraries. Or even schools sometimes. Places where a group of people are meant to get individual work done. You can set up a bookshelf between your two work stations, or a folding screen, or a standing white board or black board, or a curtain, essentially dividing the office into two.

Maybe you don’t even need to go that far. A hat with a brim and earbuds with music or white noise or nature sounds might block out enough of the distraction. I happen to have a problem with noise sensitivity, and my house is unusually loud sometimes, so I do the nature sounds. I’ve heard some people like a sound track of a cafe. Murmur of conversation, clinking of glass and silverware. Like it makes the feel they’re sitting in a cafe, and that helps them focus for some reason. I assume it wouldn’t work for you... but maybe the sound of rain or the ocean might.

Your problem is not an insurmountable one. You just have to figure out what the best way is for you to find a work around. Good luck.

#writing advice #office #workspace #writer's block #writing process #relationships

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jwnbwnjwn · 3 years

Text

Entry 8 (12.20.2020)

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well).

I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick.

I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.

Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM

-jen

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chocafe · 5 years

Text

— donghyun as your boyfriend

pairing: boyfriend!keumdong and reader a/n: requested + i’m so glad that someone requested this because donghyun was actually one of my top picks throughout the show. i’m going to miss him so much and i really do hope c9 keeps us all updated with him :-(

keumdong aka the greatest boy in the whole entire world ࿐ྂ

since he spends a majority of his time in the dance room

you tend to come along and watch him practice

sitting in the very back corner, watching his every move

not going to lie, donghyun is a very confident dancer, but with you watching him . . . he becomes a nervous wreck and often messes up

it’s as if he can’t focus properly with you there

it’s bc you occupy his mind 24/7

donghyun is always there to listen to you

it doesn’t matter how crazy and outrageous your conversation is

he’s there to give you an open ear and go along with whatever you say

as naive as it may seem, donghyun still passes notes to you in class

“hey? can you pass this to y/n?” his whispers underneath his breath, trying his best to not get caught by his teacher

even though the two of you could get in trouble

you both still continue to pass notes to one another

each note varies because sometimes the two of you could be writing about how cold it is outside

and on the other hand

the note could just say “you look really pretty today y/n ♡”

when notes like these pop out of the blue

it causes you to blush in class, not knowing how to respond back properly

“y/n?” the teacher randomly calls upon you in a concerned manner. “are you catching a fever? your face suddenly turned red.”

“i-i’m fine!” you quickly answer back, resulting in donghyun lightly chuckling from his seat (he knew exactly why your face was red and he’s 100% proud of being the reason behind it)

his eyes twinkle whenever he sees you

he doesn’t have the guts to tell you this

but he feels as if time stops whenever he lays eyes upon you

or that little trinkets of stars are falling down from the sky as if the two of you are the main leads in a romance movie

maybe the reason why he feels this way is because he still can’t believe that you’re all his

keumdong has been having a crush on you for the longest time! so to know that you two are finally dating still seems pretty foreign to him

you both text all day and all night long

you guys can be texting all the way until three in the morning

but once you ask if you could call him on the phone

he’d just go

[txt] donghyun: oh dang im actually getting tired so maybe not right now and maybe we can call tomorrow :/

it’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you ! ! !

he’s just still a little shy

and talking on the phone with you might cause his heart to combust into a million pieces

“threatens” you when you’re unmotivated

when you feel like becoming a lazy ball of nothing

donghyun is there to lift you back up

but… it’s not how you exactly imagine it to be

“come on, y/n! you need to get up and start working on your homework!” donghyun lightly nudges your arm as you continue to lifelessly lay there in peace

“i’ll do it tomorrow.”

“you said that yesterday─ if you don’t stop being lazy then i’m going to break up with you!”

and with that being said, you’re up and working in a millisecond because there is no way youRE GOING TO BECOME SINGLE BECAUSE OF THIS

deep down inside keumdong is over here like “hehehe just joking why would i ever break up with you? uwu”

dates between you two are usually more on the casual side!

it could be you guys going out to get ice cream

or even just hanging out after school by visiting local stores in the area

but leTS TALK ABOUT YOUR FIRST DATE WITH EACH OTHER

you both agreed to go to lotte world with one another ( ੭•͈ω•͈)੭

lotte world is a popular amusement park in korea if you’re wondering!

since this was back in the beginning of your guys relationship

keumdong was a nervous wreck!

as usual, his hands were sweating

and he didn’t know when it was the right time to properly hold your hand

WHAT MADE HIM HOLD YOUR HAND was that the amusement park was getting super busy and crowded since it was the weekend

donghyun didn’t want to lose you in the crowd of people

“let’s not get lost.” he simply says as he reached down to hold onto your hand, leading you through the group of individuals

maybe it was a good thing? that donghyun was walking in front of you?

because his cheeks were turning into the same shade as a cherry

but you weren’t able to notice since you were behind him, only being capable of seeing the back of his head

(shhh don’t tell keumdong i told you that)

you would think that donghyun would let go of your hand once the two of you escape the rush of people

nope!

he grasped onto your hand even tighter

and you were perfectly fine with this

everything felt magical and the two of you were no longer anxious of this little first date

you both continued to ride every single thrilling attraction such as the carousel, bumper cars, gyro drop, ect.

to end the day, the you guys decided to let the ferris wheel be your guys last ride

just so you two could enjoy the last remaining minutes together

all while admiring the great view of the entire amusement park

“did you have fun?” donghyun asks, somewhat tense as he has no clue on how you’re truly feeling

“of course i did!” you look down at your hand and notice how you both still haven’t let go of one another yet

there was a moment of silence as you stared outside the ferris wheel in astonishment

as donghyun stared at you with the same exact expression

“y/n? can i kiss you?” he politely asks, refraining himself from breaking out into a puddle of sweat

instead of answering back

you halted your response and pulled donghyun’s face closer to yours, letting both of your guys lips meet for a second

“woops? i guess you can say i got too excited to respond back.”

donghyun is put into a swirl of emotions, causing him to cover his face with his hands because once again, you’ve made him blush

195 notes · View notes

readingsbylibramc · 4 years

Text

birth chart reading for @lunarvesta

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are mercury, jupiter and pluto. you are an extremely intelligent and open-minded person. you could experience lots of karma in your life, you may come across unfortunate events, but they'll be crucial for your self-growth. you probably have amazing communication skills too.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is earth. you're a loyal and stable individual. you value longevity in your relationships, and that makes you quite picky. you can easily appear as cold, as opening up to someone you don't know well is too much of a risk for you. once you do, though, you'll stay forever. money and material possessions are important for you, as you understand that financial stability is one of the main qualifications in life.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem extremely provocative, especially with your venus conjunct your mars. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body also has a lot of curves and softness to it. your eyes could also be slightly hooded.

libra ascendant square cancer moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. yet, you probably don’t want to be read, therefore you end up feeling ashamed of your own emotions. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

libra ascendant square cancer jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also enhances your libra rising, making you look even more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in taurus, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and saturn

you’re more sharp-witted and pragmatic than the typical taurus. you value stability in both romance and in your day-to-day life, like at work. you take care of your body and style in any sort of way, as your libra ascendant confirms. after all, the 3rd decan of taurus is a great balance of beauty and brain. I imagine that you're not very extroverted, you prefer staying in, but I repeat that you still probably have nice social skills that could take a while to develop. or at least, they're your secret skills. you like keeping your mind active everyday, especially by following your passions. if you’re the logical type, you might enjoy playing sudoku or things like that. on the other hand, if you’re more philosophical you might enjoy reading, writing etc. you have a great sense of duty, that makes you want to excel in whatever you do. in addition to this, you’re also very stubborn. you probably get in arguments with others because you don’t accept their advices/criticism and prefer going your own way. you may also tend to overindulge a bit, and become a bit lazy. you're also very attached to food and you may have the tendency to overeat. yet, since you have a strong earth dominance, you probably don't gain weight easily. you enjoy the finer things in life, but you might struggle with jealousy because of that. you have the tendency to look at other people’s achievements and get disappointed about yours.

taurus sun square aquarius uranus: this aspect makes you crave independency. you like doing things your own way, especially since it’s backed up by your fixed dominance. you’re really creative and intelligent, yet this may be misunderstood by those who surround you. you stand out for the way you think and your interests, and some may even perceive you as ‘weird’. I honestly think that, if well-devolped and paired with a good use of words, this aspect can be highly beneficial for your growth. a lot of successful people, like bill gates and stephen king, have this aspect, as it gives one the ability to imagine unordinary things that can impact society in a good way.

🌙 moon in cancer, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by the moon and pluto

with your moon in cancer, your privacy and security are the centre of your life. you need to be and feel emotionally stable to fully take advantage of all of your skills; for example, if you argue with a loved one of yours, especially if it's someone from your family, you could get very unmotivated to do anything. you need to feel complete to function correctly, and when you can't, you rely on material goods; e.g you may overeat, buy a lot of useless things out of stress, drink... anything that apparently helps you to cope. on the other hand, you're very affectionate, even clingy at times, but your feelings are very pure. because of that, you may also be extremely sensitive, you could be afriad of others' judgment for example. you have a very acute maternal istinct, you're most likely the dad of your group, especially since you have a libra rising, another accommodating sign. it comes natural to you to take care of others and nurture them, you'd definitely make an amazing father. the problem with this trait is that you may sometimes take the blame for something just to protect others, you could often say white lies to help your loved ones. you just want to do something beneficial for others, you're extremely generous, but don't forget that you should take care of yourself first. also, since you feel the need to help others, you may often bottle up your emotions without anyone that is willing to help you work out your problems. make sure to always have some private space in your day-to-day life, it is extremely essential for you to develop your own ideas and also to understand what to do for your personal growth.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 9° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner, and since you also have your moon in cancer, a water sign, you may also be very intuitive. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know? mercury is also retrograde, so you may have troubles communicating your thoughts in a clear and understandable way. due to this, people may misunderstand your ideas and opinions and viceversa. you're more introspective, you're better at thinking than speaking, which may make you more of a listener.

gemini mercury conjunct gemini saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you're too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don't try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that's probably caused by the fact that you don't really pay attention to your words. you're quite straight-forward, and due to your mercury also opposing your pluto you could always seem as if you're up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking more in school, perhaps you could apply for class president. anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.

gemini mercury opposite sagittarius pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self and of your libra rising to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in gemini, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

this is the flirtiest, most romantic gemini decan, but also the flakiest and most indecisive. your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing... stuff like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you're actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn't care about learning something more definitely isn't for you. you're not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you're into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?'. also, you talk about them with all of your friends, and you find yourself thinking costantly about them. you're very curious of nature, but you're only interested in getting to know what catches your eye.

gemini venus opposite sagittarius pluto: you find yourself having crushes on random people often, love at first sight could be common for you. but when you seriously fall for someone, they’re your only thought. you start searching for info about them online, and you wanna become a part of their life too. you love intensely, but not everyone may enjoy that. there are people that could feel overwhelmed by your love, others that would vibe with you and offer you the same kind of affection. ironically, you tend to attract bold, but also independent people that most of the time don’t want anything serious. you’re prone to get jealous and possessive very easily, and this makes you suffer, as you may think there’s something wrong with you. maybe, it may even remind you of something that happened during your childhood, perhaps your parents were also very protective of you. love for you is a constant grow; your relationships will be hard, but there’ll always be something to learn to improve yourself and your confidence. little side-note, you may often date karmic partners, aka partners from your past lives, so you may often experience this 'I’ve already seen you before’-vibe in your new encounters and relationships, and you’ll always learn something from all your relationships.

gemini venus conjunct gemini mars: in relationships, you're probably very intense. you feel strong feelings, and you have no troubles expressing them to your partner. you could even get clingy at some point, even though you could not realize it at first. you're a passionate lover, and you most probably love physical affection. that means that you need a partner that is just as passionate and bold as you are. you may be dominant in relationships, hence you need someone who can stand up for themselves and keep up with you. loving you is a challenge, and you need someone who's willing to try you. the bad side of this aspect is that you may be quite impulsive when it comes to relationships; you could break up with someone all of a sudden, or perhaps you could get angry easily. you're quite dramatic, but you cool down in a short amount of time if it's nothing too serious. you need someone that understand this side of you, and that is willing to stay and accept you with all your flaws.

☄️ mars in gemini, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

you're driven by the sense of intelligence. your intellect is your greatest strenght, it's your energy tank. you're interested in a bunch of things, and hence you may have troubles staying focused on one thing at the time. you probably have tons of hobbies, and you may end up not being much precise since you have tons of things that you have and want to do. you cannot stand boredom, you need your day-to-day life to be exciting and, above all, offer you something new to learn and / or experience. you probably fancy being very active: you go out often, you workout, you may also be the type to love partying and things like that. you're extremely witty and curious, and you want to live your life to the fullest. you may often change your style, your opinions, maybe even your personality, and that could make you seem confusing and / or unreliable.

gemini mars opposite sagittarius pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, and I find this beneficial considering that your gemini energy tends to make one superficial. with this aspect, you're probably more dedicated than the common gemini.

🏡 houses, interceptions

your 1st house is in libra. you have a peaceful approach to the world; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your blunt gemini mercury opposite pluto. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. your ideas may often depend on what others think for example, or perhaps you're very sensitive about others' criticism about your looks for example. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 9th house: you could be foreign, or perhaps you have a foreign 'appearance'', people may mistake you as a foreigner. you have a very free-spirited vibe around you, but you also look very approachable. you may be interested in philosophy, literature, possibly also in travelling and foreign languages and cultures. they most likely play an important role in your life.

your 2nd house is in scorpio. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could indicate that you overwork yourself to feel more confident. studying, travelling and just feelings smart in general also makes you gain more security in yourself.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your pluto and chiron placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. pluto here, in fact, makes it impossible for you to hide your emotions. if you feel sad or angry, people will most likely be able to tell. on the other hand, you’re particularly expressive and deep with your words, they're very memorable in a certain sense. people may find themselves thinking about what you said for days, as you may often hide hidden meanings beyond your sentences. chiron here also makes you very self-conscious about your ideas, though. you may often have great ideas, but you end up keeping them for yourself as you're afraid of saying something wrong. perhaps, you could even have some problems to your voice itself, you could stutter often for example. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 10th house: your job may involve communication, you'll most probably interact with other people in your future career. or maybe, you might write stuff, hence you could be a writer, a journalist, etc. possibly, you would do well as a therapist too. you may also communicate through artistic outlets, hence you could be an actess, a singer, etc.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, but there were a few things that you still remember to this day. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on work, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. they could have also been quite strict or over-protective, perhaps even violent and controlling. or maybe, one of them could have even died. your parents may also be divorced. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen. in addition, neptune could have made you a bit more insecure as a child than other capricorn ics. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. possibly, you were also close to arts. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 9th house: you could come from a foreign place, or perhaps you moved houses a lot during your childhood. perhaps, you have someone in your family that is from a different country, culture or religion from yours, or perhaps they're able to speak more than one language. your parents could have been very successful at school, they could actually be professors. you might've always been a smart kid, you could've grown up learning more languages and you were most likely good at school too. you also got to make lots of experiences during your childhood, you might have travelled a lot.

your 5th house is in aquarius, with also uranus placed there. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your venusian energy makes you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries. love is most likely not your priority in life. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, and your other placements suggest that you're quite fine with it, you like being nurtured in a relationship. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. in fact, at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence since mars doesn't make very positive aspects, so beware of that. the ruler of the 7th house is in the 9th house: you may meet your future spouse abroad, or perhaps they're foreign. they could also be from a different culture from yours, or at least they're able to speak more than a language. they'll be very open-minded, but also quite impulsive.

your 8th house is in taurus, with also your sun sitting in this house. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. yet, they'll actually become the centre of your life. in fact, your existence in this lifetime revolves around constant improvements and learning lessons. this placement may also indicate that you could get an inheritance, even though there may some troubles around it due to your poorly aspected venus. you could also have a violent or painful death.

your 9th house is in gemini, with also mercury, saturn, venus and mars in a stellium. you’re most likely extremely curious about anything the world has to offer. you want to make new experiences and adventures, you want to find out anything about other cultures, places, etc. to open your mind and gain some new knowledge. you probably love travelling, and you may have quite a few dream destinations to visit. the 9th house is also about higher education, and hence you’re probably successful at school. you most likely enjoy studying, and you could get more than one degree actually. or perhaps, you got to study different subjects before choosing your final university, you were quite indecisive at first. you may as well be bilingual, or at least you’re extremely talented at foreign languages. you can probably mimic different accents pretty well, even if you don’t visit other countries. you may also have eccellent communication skills, overall, which could be extremely useful for your future career, but I’ll talk about that later. it could be that your family is also bilingual / foreign, or perhaps they have a different religion / culture. you could also live abroad, possibly with them. venus in this house indicates that you may often date people from a different nationality or culture from yours, and perhaps you'll actually marry someone from abroad as the rest of your chart suggests. you may also find yourself falling for unavailable people, and hence they could either be physically unavailable, like celebrities for example, or even emotionally. they could be already taken, for example. last but not least, saturn is also in this house: you strive for freedom, you want to be your own boss. you don't want others to tell you what to do, but saturn here may make you struggle to achieve your individuality. perhaps, during your childhood, you were restricted from acting the way you wanted. it's like your ideas were disrespected, and you weren't allowed to embrace them, or perhaps you were afraid of the consequences. it may be that when you try to break free from what you consider to be a limitation, you may come across a few struggles that could possibly hurt you. luckily, this is an aspect that will naturally get better time with time as you get more mature. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 9th: you’re an open-minded person who’s probably into history, literature/poetry, philosophy etc. you may also have a knack for studying different languages and travelling a lot, as they help you increase your creativity and hence your inner child.

your 10th house is in cancer, with also the moon and jupiter sitting there. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at job, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 3rd house, I can see you working in the communication field. you could become a writer, a singer, an actress, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also communicating something is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career. yet, you'll be extremely successful and lucky, as jupiter is your most elevated planet. you'll approach your career with optimism, you'll find joy in working, and that will pay you back.

your 11th house is in leo. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. your friends could also help you feeling more confident, you may be way more talkative and sociable when you're in their company, their presence comforts you. you have big dreams for your future, you want to be praised and recognized for your success, and you may actually dream of fame, even though I don't think it's exactly your case. you'd rather be successful in your small environment. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 8th house: you may often receive gifts from your friends. they could be particularly wealthy, too. or maybe, they are your soulmates, and you may learn a lot from them. you could sometimes discuss, but those events will just help you to grow up.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract aries, aquarius, leo and virgo placements. your future spouse will most likely have leo and virgo traits placements, maybe a leo - virgo cusp. they’ll be very similiar to you: bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them during a fun situation, hence at a party, during a vacation, in a restaurant, at a concert, a social gathering… possibly, even online, as I’ve already mentioned before. also, your spouse will most likely be your friend at first, or perhaps you'll get to meet them through your friends. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and optimistic, and he could come from a different country from yours. maybe he’s of another religion, or he can speak other languages. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly sagittarius too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, I feel like you probably have a better relationship with your dad than with her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, pisces or sagittarius placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, pisces and scorpio placements in their chart. they could also be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though there could have been some power struggles during your early years, you were very jealous.

📊 career

with jupiter as your most elevated planet, I assume you would do well at any career that involves foreign languages. you may work for a multinational agency like the onu, for example. or perhaps, you could be a translator, or you'll just directly move abroad to work. you may also have to travel often. or perhaps, since jupiter is also about education, you could become a teacher or even a professor. you may teach foreign languages, for example, or perhaps you may even work with children, or just people younger than you in general. with that 9th house stellium of yours, you love knowledge and you're also very open-minded, you'd definitely make a great teacher. you could also be great at writing too.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / september 22nd

uranus is currently transiting your 8th house, and it's going to be conjunct your sun in a few months; I'd keep an eye on this placement, as it can signify a sudden event that could literally change your life, especially since it's going to touch your natal sun. as of now it's not harshly aspected, so I don't think there are many negative effects of it in your life, but it could even manifest as a sudden death. anything that will force you to react and change something in yourself. also, transit mars is currently in your 7th house; you may often find yourself having arguments with people lately, especially with romantic partners, so try to choose your words wisely to avoid conflicts.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

your secret skills revolve around finances and just security in general. with a positive attitude, you may attract material luck: money, clothes, houses… everything that you desire. since you’re a logical person, I assume the most efficient way for you to manifest through the LOA is writing! take a notebook and just write down positive affirmations, such as 'I have the car of my dreams’ etc. you may also write them on post-its and glue them around your house, so that you can accelerate the progress. you can also try to idealize your wish before trying to manifest it. for example, if you want a new sweatshirt, try to imagine yourself wearing it. you could also go into a shop and actually try that sweatshirt it on; being in contact with it will boost the law of attraction even more.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading :) hope it resonated with you!

#astrology #birth chart #birth chart reading

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gl0wupdiaries · 4 years

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In honor of my 10th post, here are 10 good things that happened to me since I started this blog:

1. Feeling of accomplishment

Since starting this blog, I’ve made it a commitment to post twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. As I have confessed in one of my previous blog posts, I am a planner junkie, and one of my greatest sources of validation and happiness is the sense of productivity. Sometimes it’s hard for me to find that productivity, may it be because I’m unmotivated, or just plain lazy. But since starting this blog, I found that though I may feel unproductive in some parts of my week, Wednesdays and Saturdays are guaranteed to be spent productively, and motivating, for that matter.

2. Confidence

To have the guts to put myself out there and post my work has always been a surreal image for me. The idea of the act feels like jumping off a cliff, and I’m no adrenaline junkie. The uncertainty of how my works will be received in this platform is enough to scare me away from doing so much as to even entertain the thought of starting this blog. But after years of should-I’s and could-I’s, I finally got to conquer my fear, and if you’ve ever conquered a fear, you know it’s one of the greatest feelings out there. The challenge almost seems addicting now, I find that I’m starting to get more curious to see how far I can expand, rather than forcing myself to fit in a box that I have already outgrown.

3. Mindfulness

If you’ve ever kept a journal or dabbled in meditation, you know that they are forms of self-care. While blogging is definitely more public, the content I write isn’t too far from what I would usually write in my journal, which is why it still holds pretty much the same meditative effect. Whenever I write something personal, which is the bulk of my content, I really connect with it and tap into my innermost emotions. I always look forward to those small moments of epiphany that I encounter whenever I write, and since starting this blog, I have had a handful of them. Over and above mindfulness, I think the rawness and authenticity that comes with writing personal essays really makes it special.

4. Finding my creative space

This to me is one of the best perks of this blog. To have this platform to share my creative side makes me feel like a kid in a candy store. The process of starting this blog was fun in itself: from brainstorming concepts, thinking of the name, creating the blog itself, and designing the page.

5. Having something to look forward to

Given that writing really is something that I love to do, doing it feels like a reward most of the time. Within the week, whenever I find myself drowning in the monotony of my daily routine, my writing schedule has definitely lit up a portion of my day, patiently waiting for me as I finish my responsibilities. It’s equally relaxing as it is challenging, no matter how odd that sounds.

6. Getting inspired

It’s exciting whenever I have an idea throughout the day, and how that said idea motivates me to accomplish everything I need to accomplish so I can get to writing. Sometimes when I come across an idea during the oddest times (e.g., cleaning, falling asleep, etc.), no matter what time it is, I almost always write that idea down, may it be on a tissue paper, my phone notes, or even a receipt. It’s a nice feeling to have, and I think most writers can relate to this.

7. Being my authentic self

I’ve always struggled with my confidence, which is why I found the idea of starting a personal blog so daunting. But on the other side of that fear lies the desire to be free from it; to just get out there and enjoy my individuality. I still find it intimidating from time to time, but the simple fact that I’ve started something that takes me out of my comfort zone is enough to give me a feeling of liberation.

8. Having more structure

Back when I used to just write in my journal, I would only write whenever I feel like it. Since starting this blog, writing has essentially became a part of my daily routine. I realized that in writing, discipline is just as important as creativity, maybe to a certain degree it’s even more important. Having a structured routine gives me a different sense of accomplishment, one that I’m not used to having when it comes to myself as a writer, but am now experiencing more of, thanks to this blog.

9. Being able to do what I love, and sharing it with others

The driving force behind this blog is the discovery that I have a passion for connecting with others through writing. I used to write articles for a newspaper, and out of everything I’ve written, what left the biggest mark on me were my pieces on human interest. There was never a dull experience when I wrote those pieces, and it made me feel like my writing had purpose. Aside from telling other people’s stories, I found that the personal connections I’ve developed with the people I’ve written about has inspired me to become better at my craft. In the future, I definitely plan on incorporating human interest pieces into this blog.

10. Having something I can authentically call my own

No matter how weird this my sound, this blog feels like my own baby. I’ve never had one, and am definitely not downsizing the amount of responsibility it takes to take care of one to that of caring for a blog. But I guess what I mean to say is that, since this blog is so personal to me, it carries parts of me that I deem special. That said, it goes without saying that I have built this blog word by word, and to say that it is a product of my own ideas gives me a sense of value, above everything else.

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meljhart · 4 years

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Corona Virus Crisis 2020

I have chosen to chronical my thoughts, feelings and activities during the COVID-19 crisis. The following is my daily summary.

March 18, 2020

I arrive at work and learn that vulnerable individuals are allowed, to self-quarantine themselves if they are high risk or are caring for someone that is high risk. Since both apply to me, I use the morning to get my work affairs in order, then leave. I am in . I am in shock and emotional at the same time.

March 19, 2020

Day 1 of house arrest. Not really. Just feels like it. I am high risk for complications/death, if I should contract the Corona virus and I care for my elderly Father who is also high risk due to health concerns.

At my work place, social distancing is difficult to do. Very seldom are you really 6 feet away from another person. The opportunity arose yesterday, that I could put myself in quarantine at home to greatly minimize my exposure and also so that I do not potentially expose my Dad or his close friend.

I’d like to sum up what may day has been like….

Today’s activities:

1. Made a batch of my Cold and Flu Kicker Remedy.

2. Made a batch of hand sanitizer.

3. Shopped online.

4. Watched the news and the presidents briefing.

5. Planted garlic in the greenhouse.

6. Sat in the sun a couple of times.

7. Walked around my yard a few times.

8. Completed the 2020 census online.

9. Yoga.

10. Fed sourdough starter.

11. Paid bills.

12. Wiped down every door knob, light switch, counter top, etc.

13. Washed the windows.

14. Watered the house plants.

15. Brought in firewood. Been burning all day for heat. Helps with power usage.

16. Answered a couple of work questions.

Today’s observations/thoughts:

1. While outside, I noticed how quiet it is. Weird quiet. The only vehicles that went by the house today have been the garbage truck, Fed Ex, UPS, Mail Truck and some neighbors.

2. I have to remove myself from the computer and the news. Too depressing!

3. I feel weak, inadequate, for staying home. I would rather be working until retirement. I get emotional. I’m scared. I am genuinely afraid if my Dad contracts it, it’s over for him and if I contract it, I may end up like him, on oxygen, for the rest of my life or worse.

4. News today depresses me. My daughter is in Japan. She’s been there close to 6 months working. She is due to come home in 2 weeks and I hope that she still is able to now that international travel is Level 4. This stresses me out. I want to see and hug my kid!

Today’s mindset:

1. I can do this! This needs to happen to “flatten the curve” of the virus.

2. Glad Hubby is doing ok but I worry about him.

3. Glad to know both daughters,the son in law and significant other are ok.

4. Planning my activities for tomorrow.

March 20, 2020

I don’t have the energy like yesterday. I learned last night that there is a Global Level 4 Travel Advisory and it is not known if my daughter will be coming home soon.

Today’s activities:

1. Had a nap.

2. Checked on Dad.

3. Camped on the computer.

4. Baked sourdough bread.

5. Got the mail.

6. Sat in the sun.

7. Wiped down everything.

8. Yoga.

9. Worked a little on taxes. Not too motivated.

10. Watched tv.

11. Did a load of laundry. Wash, dry, fold, put away.

12. Chatted for a while with my daughter.

Today’s observations/thoughts:

1. With the sun out, the neighbors are more inclined to go out for walks or go places.

2. I’m hoping my daughter can make it home safe and healthy.

3. It is still not as noisy as normal.

4. Making plans for tomorrow.

Today’s mindset:

1. I’m feeling a little down today. And tired. I think it is because of the stress and anxiety of the pandemic and everything that comes with it.

March 21, 2020

I am still unmotivated. I slept in today. Was somewhat lazy.

Today’s Activities:

1. Slept in.

2. Checked on Dad.

3. Sat in the Sun. This helps feel good and usually helps with my energy levels.

4. Wipe down everything.

5. Checked on my starts in the green house.

6. Did some cooking.

Today’s Mindset:

1. Not much else…..

March 22, 2020

Still somewhat unmotivated. Maybe it’s a bit of depression. This whole thing going on in the world right now is depressing. Trying to pull myself out of it. Better today than yesterday.

Today’s Activities:

1. Watched trees being limbed next door. Opens it up for more sunlight in our garden area.

2. Checked on Dad.

3. Took a ride with Hubby out to our property on Hood Canal. It felt good to get out.

4. Made some liquid hand soap. Lemon scented!

5. Wiped down everything.

6. Checked on my starts in the green house. Getting antsy to plant.

7. Made some bar soap. Need to finish it up tomorrow.

Today’s Mindset:

1. Is this really worth it? Then I think, Yes, after hearing more people are getting sick and more deaths happening every single day.

March 23, 2020

I’m feeling better today. It helps me to have a plan of action when starting the day. I’m also doing my best to practice good social distancing.

Today’s Activities:

1. Took a walk around our loop twice early this morning. Equates to half a mile. It felt good to be moving.

2. Shopped Costco online for delivery. Have an order being delivered later this week.

3. Shopped Fred Meyer online for pick up. Scheduled to pick up later this week.

4. Renewed my driver’s license online. It expires tomorrow and the offices are all closed!

5. Washed, dried, folded and put away a load of laundry.

6. Finished my soap project from yesterday.

7. Wiped down everything.

8. Planted Kale and Spinach seed in the garden.

9. Wiped down an antique chest my Grandpa built.

10. Washed off some old glassware.

11. Played the PS4 for a while.

12. Yoga.

Today’s mindset:

1. This sucks, but I/we can get through this.

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busylearningstuffrn · 7 years

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it’s September and the start of the school is dawning upon you. you feel great. this is gonna be the year. no more all-nighters, no more finishing your work 5 minutes before the class it’s due. you have a killer organization system and you will use it every. single. day.

flash forward to November: you’re starting your semester project two days before it’s due, you haven’t opened your planner for three weeks, and a good night rest seems like a distant memory. if this sounds anything like you, you need to get your shit together.

hah i’m kind of the laziest piece of shit i know but always half way through the year i decide that i need to be a #betterme so i’ve become an expert at changing my ways overnight. here is my semi-comprehensive and v messy guide

fake it till you make it

biggest. tip. let yourself think that you’re being extremely productive and that you know what you’re doing until it is your reality. here’s how:

make a to-do list of all the things you need to accomplish for the day. on that list, also include the things you already did. even if all it is is brush teeth and get dressed, write that shit down. a partly finished to-do list looks A LOT better than a completely uncompleted one.

also, divide up your huge daunting tasks into smaller steps, each individual task will look a lot more approachable and that will motivate you to get working

write down your morning routine and stick to it. the stuff you do everyday (or should be doing everyday) will now feel as if you’re being productive the second you wake up which will get you in that grind.

some morning routine inspiration x x x

deep clean

ok, you’ve decided that you can no longer live on the brink of insanity. the first step is to clean. PUT ON SOME BOPS AND GET IT DONE

maybe invite a friend? my closet habitually turns into a black hole and i end up just falling asleep on the floor every time i try cleaning it by myself because i hate cleaning(a lot of people like it, and if you do, i envy u). SO solution: invite a friend over that will FORCE U help u out!

clean your study space. who wants to work on a cluttered desk? no one.

throw out all the papers you don’t need and if you think you need them but you’re not really sure(like old notes that your younger sibling might want), then move them to a folder and put it in storage

clean your closet. no one talks about the closet, but you gotta organize it because how are you supposed to be in that productive jam when you go to get dressed and it takes you 10 minutes to find a clean t-shirt? prevent the prospect of a unmotivated funk!

next: clean your entire room. the entire room.

ALSO why not deep clean your body?

face and hair masks always make me feel bougie&zen

for hair masks i use coconut oil

an hour before you shower, melt some coconut oil and run it through your hair, then braid it and leave it in until you wash it out in the shower

here are some diy face masks x x x

healthy choices!!

eating good food is so beneficial for your body and mind. i’m not telling you to stop eating your favorite meal, but if you’re stuck with only a bag of chips for lunch because you’re too lazy to pack food (tbt to freshman yr), then that’s not okay.

my masterpost for healthy eating during the school year

my masterpost for study snacks

tea can work wonders my friend. here’s an infographic for ten teas and their benefits

DRINK WATER. get a water bottle that you will use and keep on filling it up!! water makes you feel and look better (hello glowing skin).

you need sleep. everyone know the amount of sleep they need to be able to get through the day effectively, so strive to get that amount.

when you start getting back on track, it’ll seem like you have so much work to do that you won’t be able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, but if you plan accordingly and really utilize your time, then you should be able to do it

plus once it gets to an hour where you can barely keep your eyes open, the work that takes you 3 hours will take you 30 min in the morning

the super classified secret to how some magical people wake up refreshed instead of groggy is waking up at the end of sleep cycle, instead of the middle of one. i use sleepyti.me to tell me when to go to sleep according to the time i want to wake up

not only should you strive for a healthier body, but why not a healthier mind?

meditation is great. (two great meditation apps x x)

here’s a nice self-care masterpost by @ashleigh-studies

manage yo time

USE SOME SORT OF PLANNER. sometimes in the studyblr community it seems like everyone has a bullet journal, but that’s not necessarily the case.

i loved using a bullet journal, but during the school year, i would get extremely lazy and the prospect of me having to spend ten minutes on the simple spread i did sounded like death. if this sounds anything like u, there are other methods of planning.

online apps or websites. (masterpost by @mujistudies)

a pre-made planner (the one i use).

OR if you love the idea of being able to completely customize your organization system. here’s where to start with a bujo:

official guide to starting a bullet journal

a great bullet journal masterpost by @studyign

my bullet journal tag.

FOREST SAVED MY LIFE. i used to regularly be sucked into the black hole that is the instagram explore page in the middle of doing an assignment and lose hours of good productive time!!!

this app has you plant a tree, and if you go on your phone your tree dies and that’s sad so u wont go on ur phone

i recommend creating a study schedule. this is a great guide w a printable by @eintsein

i recently started using getplan.co that allows you to drag your tasks to make a study schedule, so if you prefer something digital, i highly recommend this website.

alright, that’s it! i believe in all of u and i hope this was somewhat helpful :)))

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drennalynspast · 4 years

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[ repetitive explanations ]

Sunday, Jan. 11, 2009

oh gawd, does she have to keep crying about it >.> . The fact is that I basically told several things [not details like zomg I failed chemistry - am literally getting a damned w/f on my transcript now (due to unsympathetic professor) ]. a big mistake was that I probably should -not- have told her I got another conditional acceptance. I told her how I sent a letter that I declined it. and she is all "wtf!"

I told as much as I could. It’s just -their- fucking problem about how they can't simply comprehend the situation at hand. even if I have to recite my explanation over again to a letter "t" - she still is going to be confused as hell.

I basically told dad and mom: "I am not doing pharmacy anymore." "I have little interest in the classes and as a result, I am doing poorly in them." "oh hay, but I’m gonna do health science instead *thinking: "so don't flip your shit about me doing something else (aka liberal arts) sporadically"*"

dad/mom: "what program are you going to do in health science?"

me: I don't know yet.

mom: physical therapists make a lot of money too blah blah blah

me: *getting angry* don't tell me what major/ what I should do now.

dad: I’m okay with whatever you choose. it's fine.

to mom: don't tell her what she needs to choose mom: [insert woe story about her concern for us]

on that day, I was also talking to dad about how I’ve been seeing the counselor a couple of times in the past - talking to her. "and she ..and I think that maybe I need to start taking antidepressants..."

And then, he changed the conversation or said something unrelated to that. Seriously, I was speaking. It's not like you couldn't hear me. I mean, how can you not hear me and dismiss that? Anyway, I just assume that he ignored it or didn’t' want to get involved in that sort of discussion. Jacob and I were talking about how the Asian culture (like this old generation) may not be accepting or convinced of struggles due to emotional weakness from some sort of biological/chemical factor.

And the fucking fact about how they don't give a shit about my personal feelings - it's all about the concrete result that we give out (like grades, success, money and acceptance) that gets recognition. I’m -fucking- through with even trying to say my personal feelings to them. I have already scheduled an appointment to dr. __ and talk to her to diagnose/prescribe me anti-depressants. dad called me today. He asked, "did you make an appointment to see dr. ___ Tuesday?". (The clinic calls home to remind the appointment). I said, "Yes". He said, "Okay, bye". I don't know if he knows or what they are thinking...but he did not ask. I’m relieved though.

I try to talk to them. I know my limits on what to say at times because I know it will just make it harder and more difficult. it's not like I am withholding everything from them. It’s just simply that -they do not understand-. I know myself more than anyone else. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know how I did throughout my courses. I took a look back at my grades, my habits. I reflected and pondered upon them. I know my low interest had an effect on my low motivation to study for the material as much as I could. even if I tried studying - another individual who has studied the same amount of time like I have may still perform better than me.

of course, of course, there's the whole: "ohhhh if I just try really hard. I can do anything!!!!!!". Well, you know what? Sometimes, that just does not cut it. it works for some people, yes. but it does not work for me. I fucking gave it a shot in the first place. you know how I was never fond of chemistry or math. But, I took the approach at attempting to do chemistry to see if I can get successful in it. I tried. meh.

Can I make it through college now? I was baww'ing at my other academic counselor (the health sciences one). I asked him will an 'f' on my transcript hurt prevent me from getting accepted to whatever shit or succeeding in life. he said, "no, since you are a junior, you have 60+ more hours that outweigh that 3 credit hour 'f' ".

I still feel sad/shattered/broken about the scar on my transcript. buuut...I'm not going to let it bring me down. I’m not going to let that tell me I am a failure as an individual over. no -_-.

You won't believe the talks I’ve had with other people [my friends] about all this.

I understand the Asian culture and their concern for their offspring. after their struggles, attempts to do things for their children - you think their sob stories will inspire you to put much effort in your own work to make the proud and you become successful as well. it works for some kids. it did not work for me. it's not like I don't fucking know what the hell is going on. it's not like I am unwire of my laziness/unmotivation is hurting myself. I am aware. oh yes. you can give me 97497498 motivational speeches about the value of life, success, hard work, money, family values, how to make yourself motivated and become undepressed if you exercise/sleep/go out more/eat healthy and raise your serotonin/endorphinshit - it's just going to pass right through me.

cleeearly something is missing. Something is wrong. Maybe I am just sick of school and discouraged at this point. maybe I am just fucked up in the head and I need some happy pills. Maybe a change of major is what I need to do. I need to just reevaluate who I am - what are my interests, what does linda want. No - it's not about what the family wants.

And you know what? I don't need anymore bullshit about how I should approach in making my decisions in choosing my major. this time, I’m going to research the courses that correlate to the field. if I enjoy the courses as well as the field description, maybe I will become more motivated.

Well yeah, it's not like I don't like pharmacy.. but...obviously chemistry has such a strong connection with pharmacy. and that has become my weakness. Apparently the money/job background of pharmacy was not enough for me to make me want to try hard[er] in chemistry. y'see - that's the thing. Sometimes you reach a roadblock in life and the attempts to try to overcome it will just cause a more stress and waste time. if you simply take an alternate route, things may get easier and you know what? maybe I will do my job better and be more happier in the health science profession. omfg!!!! did anyone ever think of that?

of course I feel sad and disappointed. but, right now - I don't need to face judgmental people at the moment. I don't need fucking pity. I don't need suggestions that only accommodate your selfish needs. I don't need to be looked down as an inferior/lesser individual who has failed from just doing a rerouting of life. Everyone deals with this all the time. Outside bashing opinions just makes me feel worse as it is. Right now, all I just want is for people to accept it and deal with it. if they can accept it without any form of anger or sadness and a calmer understanding, then I will feel less pressured any maybe feel like people truly support me for once.

#asian parents #quitting #fail #depression #college #asian

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scrambledsaltyegg · 4 years

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The Power of Suggestion

There are times when we receive an idea of something we have yet to experience. Because of that idea, we tend to anticipate. Yet on some occasions, even after we have received the full experience, the mind still retains the suggestions we have obtained prior to the first encounter. Even when the opposite happens, ideas sometimes still mold the original experience into something else.

This had been something I’ve personally observed occasionally. I’ve seen how it has affected me, and I’ve seen other people being affected by it. Although, in general, you’d see that most people (especially online) are inexorable or difficult to persuade. That may be true most of the time, but there are also times that people become vulnerable. This is when they’re the most open for suggestibility.

You and I, everyone, had been in that one moment when we’re open for suggestions. This is when we’re at most prone to changes. No matter how absurd one statement comes, if it hits you at the right moment, it hits you. This is why sometimes some people feel like shit after taking an insult, and then sometimes they’re not. This is why there had been that one time you’d take an insult personally even though it’s baseless and ridiculous. We are all prone to suggestions even if it’s wrong, just as long as it can touch you.

It’s scary, but it’s also sometimes funny. I have also observed this phenomenon to this one guy, a friend of mine, who had a crush on someone. This person has never shown interest in this one woman before. It only happened that these two people have always been paired up and made fun of - repeatedly joked about being a couple. The jokes were even continued by the guy, saying things like how they’re perfect together. A little while later, the feelings somehow became real. Too bad it was still a running gag for the side of the woman.

Another example is when I remember one time when I mixed up the name of the Smirnoff beer, Mule. I was having a drink with my friends a few years back and for some reason, I mashed up the name of the beer into ‘Smule’. Suddenly, this one person calls it as what I’ve called it for a long time. It probably took weeks or even months before I asked why did that person call it wrongly that way. The person doesn’t remember how it started. The worst part is that the phenomenon I’ve made has even spread to the other few people around us.

This ‘power of suggestion’ was even theorized as the answer to why the Mandela Effect exists. In case you’re not aware, “The Mandela effect is an unusual phenomenon where a large group of people remembers something differently than how it occurred. Conspiracy theorists believe this is proof of an alternate universe, while many doctors use it as an illustration of how imperfect memory can be sometimes.” (source: Healthline)

One famous example would be the quote from Snow White when the evil queen said “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” - instead of the famous line “Mirror Mirror on the wall”. In truth, the latter was the one I’ve been hearing all the time since I was a child. But when it was revealed to be incorrect, I wasn’t too shocked because I realized I’ve never actually watched the movie before. Although I believe this is really a shock for those who’ve actually watched the movie. Even though they’ve watched it, they have still become susceptible to suggestibility. The fact that they know they’ve watched it makes it even harder for them to believe they’ve heard it wrong.

The power of suggestion is a way to condition the mind of yours and other people. It might have been scary, but you can also make good use of it. Just as even when you pretend to smile, you’ll actually feel a bit better or happier.

I’ve been using it myself to increase my will power and to become a better person. I’ve been reading a bunch of discussions about it over the years. I’ve even read some stories of people messing with other people’s minds. There were things like how to win in an argument, how to deal with bullies, how to make a person angrier, how to change a person’s treatment of you, and even how to make someone like you. Although I never thought about doing the last part because it feels like lying.

When I was conditioning my knuckles a while ago, It’s when I have realized something that has led me into thinking about this topic. I’ve been conditioning my knuckles for 5 years by punching a concrete wall. At first, I was only trying it on my right fist. Afterward, when it felt like my right fist is becoming better, that’s when I started conditioning my left fist as well. Whenever I train both of my fists at the same time, it always felt like my left fist hurt more than the right. I thought it was understandable since it was trained much later and was weaker than my right. The problem was it went on like that for up until recently. It always felt like it hurt more even though I’ve been conditioning it both equally. That is when I thought that maybe I’ve been thinking about it the wrong way. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been thinking that my left arm is weaker. Maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking that it’s my less dominant hand. After a moment of thinking and conditioning my mind, believing that both of my hands are equal, I tried to punch the concrete wall with both fists. Guess what? My left suddenly hurt less.

Maybe you could do something similar to your life. Whenever you feel lazy, unmotivated, or even just plain empty, maybe you could try thinking about it in reverse all of the sudden. Maybe we could do the exact opposite, realizing that these feelings are all merely what our mind and thoughts condition us to feel. In that way, we would feel what is real - just by successfully removing the clouds in our mind. It’s even said that wounds hurt less when you’re not looking at it.

I cannot teach you how to condition your own mind precisely. For some parts, I’m just as clueless as you are. Even if I tell you how I do it, the experience is always different for each individual. It’s just the same as the concept of my own method of sleeping fast possibly not working on you. But just by being aware of this phenomenon, we could probably make a good start.

Rather than doing it on our own, we could probably help each other instead. Just by giving out genuine complements to other people, it may help them condition their mind into positivity throughout the day.

In the end, the human mind is still a giant mystery for all of humanity.

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selfcompassion88 · 5 years

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27.05.19

I thought I was ready but I’m not and I’m scared it’s never going to get better. My anxiety eased a lot the last week and a half but it’s back again and I don’t fully know why. Yesterday I reactivated Facebook and I think it has something to do with that. I don’t get it though, I don’t understand why I feel so stressed and anxious when it comes to social media platforms that involve posting, tagging or liking other people’s stuff. I only logged back in for a little over a day now after not having it for 10+ days and I feel like I’m back to square one….the constant anxiety, the heavy heart, the mindless scrolling, obliviousness to the pressure of feeling the need to prove something to others. This is a sign that maybe I should stay off all these platforms for a little while longer. I’m just afraid that I’m never going to be ready. Like what if I end up living my life as a hermit crab, unaware of all the events and news that are going on in the world or in people’s lives. But I have to do what’s best for me. I’d rather be so happy and comfortable with where I am in life than to worry about what’s happening in someone else’s just because of FOMO (fear of missing out). I think I just need a clean break from the world you know. Being on social media feels like a bunch of people boasting and rubbing in all the reasons why their life is better than yours. You begin to feel trapped and so intensely caught up in people’s highlight reels that it somehow has the power to enhance and intensify your own problems as well as bring to the surface issues that you didn’t even know you were struggling with. I don’t need that in my life right now. I just want to focus on me and only me without feeling like the world is screaming at me to become…better. Also something else that has been bothering me, especially today is the fact that for some silly reason I feel like I’m ‘running out of time’ (two-finger quotation gesture). It’s been exactly a week since I’ve applied to 7-10 different volunteer positions and only one has gotten back to me and even then it’s only a one-day event that runs for not even 3 hours. I want to find a volunteer position that’s long-term, that’s gonna help keep me busy and give me a purpose over the next 9 long months. My plan today was to call up RSPCA and Second Chance Animal Rescue shelter to see if they have any positions available for volunteering just in case they didn’t see my application. I also planned to call the Royal Melbourne, Royal Children’s and the Women’s hospital to see if they can provide me with a volunteer position despite the fact that I won’t be able to commit to the minimum 12 months. Long story short, I got sleepy and slightly lazy, time wasn’t on my side and it just didn’t end up happening today. But because I didn’t do it today and the fact that I’m pretty much gonna be busy for the rest of the week that means that I have to wait until NEXT MONDAY to call up these places and slip in an application and for that reason I can’t help but feel anxious that I’m wasting time and that it’s running out, that I should be finding a volunteer position ASAP. *deep breath* I have to understand that I’ve got 9 months, by next week a little less than that but that’s still ¾ of a year that I have off to do whatever I want and to accomplish as much as I can. I literally officially intermitted from uni less than 2 weeks ago so why am I stressing? I really would like for my anxiety to just calm down. I’ve thought about it and volunteering is really what I would like to do. I mean if worse comes to worse there’s no harm in finding a second job or picking up more shifts at JB, but I mean this is a rare moment in my life in which I can just do whatever I desire with very few responsibilities and deadlines chasing after me so why not do something good for the community and for self-appeal, merit and accomplishment. Volunteering would also help me discover what I actually do enjoy which has been my goal since the very beginning plus would be so good for my self-esteem and personal enjoyment. If I’m not able to find a volunteer position with the organisations that I like I wouldn’t mind putting in an application for MSA events or Red Cross Australia as last resorts even though I don’t fully find the positions appealing. I have to remind myself that everything will work itself out. Like Rebecca said I’m naturally a motivated, driven individual. I don’t need to increase my determination and self-discipline because I already have so much of that. It’s important that I remind myself to trust that I won’t become lazy or unmotivated. Anyway the last thing I want to add to this thought entry is this…a big F*CK YOU to the BOY who BROKE MY HEART a little over a month ago. I’m over it. I really am. I’m not just telling people I’m over it to reassure them that I’m not still hung up on it, like I genuinely am over it. But damn why do I keep getting glimpses of you ‘living your life’. Shit like I know it’s my fault but just when I THINK I’m ready to get back on social media, seeing you ‘living’ makes me second-guess that. And like WTF is with your bio? ’Nursing student (can fix your broken heart)’ MY ASS. Take a look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’ve broken hearts you asshole. You broke MY heart. I just had to get that off my chest! I didn’t get social media anxiety because of him, I had it many hours before that, but if being on social media also means that I now have access to check in on his profile every so often, then I’m not ready for that mentally-draining shit. But trust me I am over him. It’s just u can never feel fully pleasant knowing an ‘ex’ is living life with ease while it took you 3 weeks until you could live yours the same way. I don’t think it would never feel pleasant even if I moved on. Like yeah I could get to a stage where I would check in on him and not care at all about how he updated his profile or even if he’s moved on, but I don’t think I’d ever be like “yeah good for you! you were an amazing person so continue living life and doing what you’re doing”.

#anxiety #break-up #everything

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jobsearch-v02 · 7 years

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Inspiration

Einstein is quoted as saying, “Inspiration is 1%, work is 99%”.

Inspiration is an extrinsic effect that causes you to become excited and motivated, when you figure out a new way to solve an old problem, or a problem that has been plaguing you for a period of time. Some times, this even means that leaders provide you with a new way that they are going marshal resources to attack a problem.

The tips provide here, are indeed material from other people, but not speeches. At the end of this post, I’ll describe how to use this information to help you avoid depression, by understanding a key part of what depression is.

Learn to Interview:

The first thing I want you to do is, “LEARN TO INTERVIEW!!!” No, you’re not going to be interviewed, sorry .. you’re going to be doing the interviewing. Why, you need information. You need to find job prospects. You need to find clients that can use your services. So, guess what, you need to talk to people.

A good book to start with is, “Powerful Questions”.

But wait, you’re not good at starting a conversation. Here’s a tip, find an excuse to start talking to someone. It’s as simple as asking, “Where’s so and so’s booth? I heard that they have the most exquisite gadget to do XY and Z!” They may not be interested in the gadget, or the booth, but if they respond, you can follow up with another question, “So, what are you presenting here?”

Now you get them to tell you their story. And it’s with their story, that you can dig into various ideas, build a conversation, and before you know it, learn about who their products supports and how. But does this support your specialty?

Who supports your specialty:

Start with your specialty. What is it that you do, and do well? There is a book called, “Strength Finder”, that will help you examine what you have been trained to do, and what you want to do. Review this book and many other books like it to. Now, that you’ve identified your strength, identify the types of professions that your strength needs to succeed.

If you were to build a business, what other vendors would you need to support your business. For most of us, we need electricity, internet, mobile phones, food, and shelter. But, who else supports you. As a graphic artist, maybe you need a paint store, or graphic software, or a tablet. Think about who these vendors are, and pay attention to all the offerings they make available for people just like you.

For example, these vendors like marketing, and are usually open to cross marketing. This type of effort can help you find a lead to a job.

Interview your vendors:

It may sound strange, but your vendors have many needs, and with 6 degrees of separation between you and the next job prospect, you need ideas that are outside the box of “Big Box Job Posting WebSites” to find a lead. Someone out there is looking for you. You need to find them.

If you’re going to interview your vendors on their marketing needs, which non-profits they support, and what types of clients they cater too, you might as well ask them who their vendors are. Who supports them and how. What is their story, or more specifically, how did they choose this particular place to start a shop, and why has it worked for them.

If your vendor is a big box store - Staples, Office Depot, Home Depot, ... then, their story is all the more relevant, as they took a big gamble setting up shop where they did. A physical location is a huge investment. How has this gamble worked out for them? Would the make different decisions if they had to start over? Would they change things if they could? What constraints are they now subject to?

In addition, as them how they support your industry. It’s a sneaky way to learn about other companies that support, but they may have a spark of an idea that can lead you to a job prospect. And, that is what you are looking for.

Global Calendar:

Now that you have a list of vendors who support your specialty, start building a calendar of events that they pay attention to. There are the usual calendar holiday events that every calendar lists, but specific vendors hold trade shows in different cities. There are computer shows, home decorating shows, boat shows, car shows, fur trading shows, leather shows, S&M shows, and so on. When are these events.

Why do you want to know about these events, not only for your industry, but also for your vendors industry, because, it’s the one place - other than a recruiting fair - and a lot of different companies are all in one location, and you can go interview them.

As this post continues, we will look at other sources that can help you fill your global calendar with other ideas on ways you can find job prospects.

Librarys & Book Stores:

Books, magazines, periodicals, fliers, and more ... they all contain information about your specialty and how it has been applied to the world over. Go, get overloaded with ideas on how other people have applied your specialty. How they market it. What events they attend. What groups they belong to. Go, research.

As a librarian for help. They live to help you.

21 Social Websites

Facebook, Twitter, Meetup, FlipBoard, Youtube, Instragram, Reddit, Vine, Pintrest, ASK, Tumblr, Flickr, Google Circles, Linked In, ClassMates, FourSquare, Kik, Tencent, Viber, About.Me, WikiPedia, Stumble Upon, Go Fund Me,

These sites can be though grouped as follows:

Reviews

Events

Goal Setting

Collaboration

Chat

Personal

Networking

E-Commerce

Sharing

Discussion

Marketing

Publishing

PodCasts

Knowledge

Out Reach

I posted in a previous blog that these sties can help you find prospective jobs through crowd sourcing. 6 degrees of separation, never went so fast as 1000′s of people searching for you for a job.

There are many specialized websites that you can use as well. Jobber, NextGig, Viber, Freelance, for just finding work. There are also Apps. Use a discussion format to ASK questions about the job market in your specialty. By using friends and people already interested in answering questions, you will find a wealth of knowledge can be gained through crowd sourcing it.

Pillars of Success:

Pillars in the community, are individuals with 1000′s of connections, vs 100′s. And their connections are primarily local. Some of these pillars become civic leaders by nature, but we will discuss that in the next segment. For now, search through your contact lists to see who you know that know’s lots of people.

Your next step is to interview them. The question is, “How did they become pillars of the community?” While the answer in short may be, “It didn’t happen over night!”, that’s ok. You are interested in their story on how they achieved this success. And, you are interested in other people who they could refer you to, that you could interview.

The more people that know about you, the easier it is to find a prospective job. And, remember, this is about you interviewing them for their story, not you telling them your story. Always politely decline up to 4 times, before giving in to tell your story. It helps to make sure they are truly interested.

Civic Leaders:

Write various civic leaders and ask them for interview time. The same process you used to interview everyone up to this point, should be used here as well. With one exception, you get to tell your story.

Civic leaders love hearing a good rags to riches story, or a story that they can hold up as an example to their peers on why they should champion a cause. Usually, it’s about poor children not getting enough to eat, or pregnant mothers - as both are preparing for the next generation of job seekers. However, if you’re not pregnant and male, you’re job is a lot tougher.

It’s easy for people to call you “Lazy”, “Slacker”, or “Unmotivated”. They may also claim that there are many jobs out there that you “Could Do!”. However, if no one is willing to hire you, then there is no job out there for you. So, back to a civic leader.

The job of a civic leader is to represent you. Therefore, they need to know your story, your struggle, and how they can help you. What resources do you think you need? What opportunities are being kept from you? Are companies being fair when they review your credentials? Are there specific aspects of your life that are not interfering with your ability to get a job - for example - incarceration tends to be frowned upon by many corporations, even if you have 3 masters degrees in physics, programming, and mathematics.

So pick up your pen and paper and write your story. Make it has heart breaking as you possibly can. Once it’s complete, send it to your leaders. Create a video, that you can link with a letter you sent to the leaders on their timelines, and so on. Send it to a book publisher, screen writer, and major motion studio so that everyone notices your story. It might not be your story that they choose, but if it’s a compelling enough story of heart ache, loss, constantly failing where you should be succeeding, and on and on .. someone somewhere will pick it up as an Indy project.

Once that happens, the civic leaders will take notice. Because, they had an opportunity to help you before it became mass public knowledge, but now it will be egg on their face, since they lost the opportunity to capitalize on your grief to raise donations that could have funded their campaign.

Lists:

Now that you’ve collected all this information, place it into lists. These lists should remind you of things you can review when you forget. They should be on paper, though having an electronic version is fine. But you need something you can look at regularly to remind you .. inspire you.

This blog for example has a list, of all the ideas I could write about. But I don’t immediate action items off the list, until I’m inspired to write about them. The inspiration comes as a “CLICK!!! Wow, that makes sense, and I can describe it to others now! =)”

Your lists should have the same effect for you. If you choose to keep a blog about your job search, then review your lists and see what clicks for you that day. Does going to the library click today, or does finding prospective interviewees click.

The possibilities listed above are just some things that could be used to help build your lists and motivate you through inspiration.

Depression

Self motivation, intrinsic or extrinsic, is necessary to overcome depression, and stay ahead of others who are motivated. The problem is, you are 1 person. Just one person, who is working on a problem, “Getting Employed!” This problem is exacerbated further by the fact that every time you get close to reaching the goal - “Being Employed!” - you are rejected. And, thus sets in apathy. “I don’t care anymore! No one wants to hire me!” Which is why the post, “What do I do when no one will hire me?” was written.

Depression creates a fog that causes many decisions in your life to be delayed or not even made, because, “WHY???” Honestly, you’re right. There is no reason to go on. You’ve gone from being optimistic to pessimistic, your no longer care whether you succeed, since no one else does. So, “Why?”

Another way to look at depression, is ... It’s the brains way to trying to figure out how to solve a very complex problem. And, you’ve followed my blog, you know that there are many moving parts in finding a job, as well as staying in a positive mind set.

Another version of depression is depression caused by physical pain. At this point, you should be looking to your doctor to help migrate you to disability, instead of trying to be employed. Physical pain is not an easy subject to deal with, esp in the middle of a post on job searching, so if you are in physical pain, and it is affecting your ability to search, interview, and perform many of the other tasks required to find prospective jobs, then by all means, get a pass, and sit on the bench until you have found a way to resolve the pain.

Self Help Groups:

You are not alone! As much as you would love to think otherwise. You are not alone. And if there was one program that the Unemployment Agencies would implement, is an “Employment Anonymous” group.

This group would be tasked with several things:

It would pair you with a buddy

It would discuss everything I’ve talked about in this blog

It would allow you to express your frustration at finding a job

It would migrate you into business networking, physiological, sociological, or psychological groups as needed

But, until then, don’t be shy, start a meetup group for finding the types of jobs that you’re looking for. Or joining groups that already bring people together in your industry. Be prepared to interview them. Building connections will help you find the buddy you need, and help you locate job prospects.

#job search v2.0 #self help groups #civic leaders #community pillars #libraries #book stores #depression #inspriation #motivation #buddy system #social websites #job search apps #global calendar #inteviewing #six degrees of seperation

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