#or just...remind me why i'm doing this
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You know, I feel like other trans people might get this, but it's honestly kind of refreshing when a cis person has, like, undeniable tboy/tgirl/whatever swag. It's like when you come across somebody who speaks the same language as you and you only find out when they start speaking it, too.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#all this to say that we are existing on a rock hurling through space#and this universe is going to collide into another and does it all truly matter in the end?#a lot of this is based on ideas we have about what constitutes certain people and i think it can be a fun observation#so long as you do not inherently ascribe certain traits as being indicative of who somebody Is#it can be amusing when you're SO confident that somebody is a certain way until you realize how Wrong you were#the amusement for me only comes because it's like... 'you tried your best to box somebody and you FAILED lmao'#and in a weird way it's kind of comforting because it reminds me that we all come into this world with bias that Will be challenged...#...so the best thing you can do is recognize those biases and then try to overcome them through great effort...#...so yes maybe i did think that cis dude had tboy swag but. that's not inherently his problem you know?#it probably just means he's confident in his manhood in a way that reminds me of the trans men* i know and love#i noticed that in him and it reminded me of my friends who are trans so i think 'oh! maybe that's why he's giving off those vibes!'#so while i won't treat him any differently before or after finding out i was wrong i'm still going to appreciate the fact that...#...he and i are literally just Vibing on the same planet and we both don't have time for petty arguing about manhood#i'll acknowledge what inspired those thoughts in me but that is Not his problem and that's good and beautiful actually#i don't always mind the tboy/tgirl swag meme just so long as you don't treat it like an Inherent Trans Experience Only Trans People Have#just recognize where those ideas are inspired from and it's fine <3#sometimes you will be Wrong and that's actually fucking neutral <<3#anyway rant over i just think this is /generally/ harmless and fun#like astrology. sometimes you just look up your star sign without ascribing your Entire Life to it <3#i think what i lot of people mean by saying a cis person has tboy/tgirl swag is just that...#...that cis person has an understanding of themself that comes from deep introspection that isn't necessarily expected of cis folk...#...but it is often something trans people do as part of our exploration of gender...#how is this the FIRST POST to reach tag limit... ask me for more thoughts if you want lol!
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i'm gonna be honest, i am highly annoyed by the fact that this is one of the few times we actually get to see medic involved in direct combat and the comics decide to just kill him for the sake of, what, motivating heavy to face off classic heavy? boring ass writing decision
don't get me wrong i love the comics but i highly dislike how they played up medic to be important only to kill him off just to further the plot and give heavy more screen time 😐 they made him as disposable as a connery-era bond girl and it sucks ass so bad. what was the point of subverting the "passive healer who can't fend for themselves" trope with medic's entire character in general when you end up playing it straight for drama in the comics anyway? Fuck's sake lol
#real yapping hours#tf2#sorry i just saw this panel and it reminded me of how much i love medic there#then he just gets unceremoniously shot so Classic Heavy And Modern Heavy Face Each Other Like A Mirror#the comics did medic so dirty#don't really like the whole Faustian Bargain thing they're doing for him either#it straight up cheapens his knowledge by reducing it to 'yea he sold his soul lol' instead of his skill being the product of his hard work#fuckin. i have So Many Opinions about what valve did to medic's character and i'm not happy with some of their decisions#this is why i've decided to just cast away canon and make him my adopted oc#i am That pissed off and annoyed
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the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe#hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao#anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)...#i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect.#a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them#it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence#it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people#and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit#i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on#while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning#i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow#like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross#if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life#i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3
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"I've been skipping two of the most important character POVs since the first book, am I missing anything?"
Honestly though, this is taking me out because I just know this is how a lot of people actually "read" the books. At this point the books have been discussed so much people just assume they know enough to skip through certain parts and that's exactly why we have so much misinterpretation in this fandom. People are getting their information through second-hand sources instead of the books themselves 😭
#arya stark#bran stark#asoiaf#fandom nonsense#like what do you mean you're just skipping their chapters???#the way people are comfortable with missing huge chunks of the story cause they think they know what happens is crazy to me#at least they're finally admitting it that's something#cause trust we can always tell when someone hasn't actually read the books no matter how much they lie about it#like yes I can tell y'all aren't reading Arya and Bran's chapters 😭#everytime I browse the asoiaf reddit I'm reminded of why I don't go on there
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#I'm high ranting to my sister about glasses & the costs of them & why I'm thinking of getting two pairs so I have a backup bc I can't drive#without them. she & her husband both have perfect vision. can't even fucking fathom being able to just see#my rx got slightly worse after 5yrs. while reading the chart I realized I misread a letter but the doctor noticed me squinting & immediately#adjusted it. I actually misread 2 lol#which just reminds me that it'll only continue to get worse. like I'm already halfway down the mountain and I have never and will never know#what it's like from the peak. and those two just. do. they do know what it's like. and to them it's normal. fucking unfathomable#tumblr polls#glasses#tc posts
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"She's so charmin', y'know! She's just so--"
#critical role#imogearne#imogen x fearne#ygifs#IMOGEN GETTIN LOST FOR A SECOND IN FEARNE'S GAYZE AND SHE STARTS STAMMERING Iiiiiiii#fearne making imogen blush but imogen JUMPS on the FIRST distraction from that is SOOO good 2 me it's like ooook#she literally literally immediately is like ANYWAY and it's SO good y'all just had a moment and you literally are like UH SO WHATD YOU SAY#I just want to chew on it I just want to study it I just want to take out a mortgage with it and really have holiday card memories with it#you have a 6ft faun you keep reminding everyone is hot leaning towards you teasing you to choose between her and you what - don't lose it?ok#being able to fluster even stressed out imogen like that power trip alone I hope she starts to chase that feeling#the FOREVER GONDOLA RIDES is what I'll title the fic of fearne constantly flirting with imogen just to try to fluster her#and imogen's just like I don't think I should be alone with fearne and everyone's like all right makes sense#and she’s beetred cos she wanted them to ASK WHY so she could try to have a dialogue about Thinking? Fearne is Flirting#but she's like that with everyone!!!!! and they all are like yeah that's true and imogen just is like . of course ! ! ! and they squint#like you knew this why do you seem disappointed all of a sudden and imogen vax-es out of the room#it's NOT that she LIKES her LIKE THAT it's NOTHIN I'm watching it cos it's like this is happening while also not happening pretty gay
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BBC GHOSTS + “certainly not a bot” tumblr description generator (insp.)
#bbcghostsedit#ghostsedit#bbc ghosts#tvedit#filmtvdaily#myedits#this post reminded me of why i just prefer to gif scenes#because god do i have zero memory or idea of where to pick single scenes for a character from#and look i did take some creative licensing from the generator#if you don't agree with this some of these look i'm there with you some of them i just didn't know
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work on my aroace 101 presentation is going so well
#IT'S ACTUALLY GOING WELL JUST SLOW#when i'm all done i will probably post the script in some way. maybe as a pdf or something#it's intended to be super introductory as a resource so it might not be interesting to everyone if youve heard it all before#but im also putting so much work into it! i am getting paid but also i am proud of how it's turning out so far#wait why has powerpoint decided the language is english (switzerland)#anyway my work on this has just been hanging over me for uhhh a while now so i havent been able to do much Else because there's a DEADLINE#and it reminds me why i decided to Not Do academia ahaha
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DARK CREAM WEEK: day 5- punish/reward
idk man i think your threats would work a lot more often if you stopped being so handsome about it fdrgbegh<333
dark cream week and comic are by @zu-is-here
#dark cream week#dark cream#my art#cross#dream#shattered dream#s!d#cross is just panicking a little bit! shattered could threaten to murder him and he'd still find that hot tbh... our favorite simp<333#no but GJGYIKH remind me to never listen to my ideas when i'm feverous xD#i swear i flip flopped so hard deciding what to do for that day omg#it was supposed to be angst at first but gosh enough of that already am i right?! something a little more lighthearted was needed!!#now this was supposed to be a small comic- then a comic with a little bit of animation in some panels- then an actual animation#because hey why not just put some more energy into it since it's really not that different right? <- famous last words#i'm sorry i'm a little tired xD you could not pay me to color/shade this like for real i just CAN'T#some parts could be smoother but hey! it's all good in the end >:'Dc#wish i could've posted it in time tho that would've been the first time i followed through a weekly event perfectly xd ah well#btw i'm also posting twice today!! i still need to finish the art for day 6 tho so it's gonna be a little later hgkhgh :'D#hope you guys like this!! <333
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This might be a very specific experience, but I think a huge reason I didn't even realize or even want to be bisexual was specifically because of this intersection of my manhood and the way it's viewed
There's this toxic merry-go-round I find myself riding where I am so desperate to not be one of those guys to a woman that it winds up being an inability to connect to women* because of this hyperpolicing I end up doing. For the longest time, I repressed myself because of this impulse, and I find it interesting. It's interesting seeing how this aspect of patriarchy impact me in such a way that I was too afraid of myself and the people around me.
As a trans man, I felt the pressure to prove both that I'm not one of those men, but also, that I wasn't this predatory trans man, that anything I did was in service to proving why I should (or should not) continue to exist. Simultaneously, I am both not a man, but also a predatory man because of my transness, a threat to be contained. I felt this before as somebody who is multisexual, but it somehow affects me more in the aspect of how I interact with women* and womanhood* from the outside.
There isn't an overarching theme to this post, a message about what you can do. It's mostly reflecting on my experiences and thinking about where my impulse to think myself as guilty until proven innocent plays into how I've started viewing myself. I don't want to overgeneralize, but I've seen this expressed by many a trans man*.
#trans#transgender#bi#bisexual#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#internalized transphobia#internalized queerphobia#i definitely had to work through ingernalized homophobia but i have been actively trying to combat that so it isn't ALWAYS a problem#and i of course get why this is also not good - i think it's a reminder that (though it looks different) patriarchy hurts ALL of us#i'm not saying that my experiences are the same as everybody else - but i do notice this transphobic narrative around my fellow (trans) man#for the longest i didn't /want/ to be bi+ because it felt like i was addong another layer of respectability...#...like in my mind it was bad enough being gay and trans but adding another group of people who'd be forced to see me? miss me with that#that was my thought process in it all because i have had so much transphobic rhetoric regurgitated at me that it just got hard to resist#and that's a shameful thing - to admit that you're Struggling and it is Not Pretty#so i think that's part of why i decided to talk about this. i think it's a wound some people have learned to hide but not treat#massive déjà vu right now because i feel like this So Often. some days are better than others but it's hard to soldier through
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Since the dental Tribble has been on a strict no kibble, no crunchy, no chewing diet. (In a week or so she'll be allowed to use her teeth again a bit more, but no one wants to see a dog get dry socket.) Spouse feels that canned dog food (perpetually on hand to make into pupsickles) is not experienced as filling enough, and we do know that Tribble has done better on grain inclusive foods for the past decade, so... the rice cooker has been simmering with chicken stock rice too bulk out the canned food all week, and Matilda and Benton have both gotten a fair bit of overflow rice as a treat.
Unconnectedly, tonight happens to be my first night alone as the sole human all evening in quite a few months. Matilda has been doing her job of enforcing bed, of course, but I can also rely on other humans to help make routine happen if she's too tired to be on it.
If I was worried that Tilly hadn't worked out her evening routine enforcement functions before now, I shouldn't have been. I don't think I've ever seen a dog so excited to move the evening along towards the part where dinner and the good cookies are.
#Matilda#australian cattle dog#1 year#the things I'm trying to achieve feel so embarrassing sometimes#like the complex and flexible but not too flexible pressure to do things that are good for me at intervals in the evenings#and yes yes yes it's just that old insecurity again#I grew up literally being told that the audhd was just my special burden to overcome in secrecy: the internalized stuff is not surprising#but it also means I'm watching her cues fairly carefully#and she's now completely reliable to alarmed tasks and mostly reliable to totally uncued pesterbot reminders#it's probably time to work on other grounding behaviors and really practice DPT more but I'm just really admiring my dog's progress so far#she had her first dog reactivity 2: building basic social skills class Tuesday and barely reacted to the five other dogs in class at all#by which I mean that she stared and leaned once#answered her leave it#and relaxed enough into counterconditioning to be rolling all over the floor and grinning delighted at me by the end of class#I'm beginning to see the shape of her grown self coming out#and I think I see why people are willing to go back and keep raising puppies from this breed of incredibly awful adolescences#it's a good shape. strong. very prone to getting distorted over a few generations if a breeder isn't keeping an eye on it#I can see what she's going to be like when she's put on some more emotional development#and I'm really beginning to look forward to it
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I recognize a lot of ADHD symptoms in Nightheart too.
The thinking everyone hates him is a big thing, taking rejection harder than it should be,
You're right... the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria... I am Nightheart's therapist and I am slapping him with so many mental illnesses.
#ALSO FOR THE RECORD I DONT HAVE BPD#I just have people I love who do#And take a sincere and adoring interest in how their minds work#I do have ADHD though. Recently diagnosed.#But I've known my entire life.#But anyhow#I just like BPD I think it's neat. It reminds me of people I love. And loved. It's so demonized and I hope that I can help ppl understand#It's just an emotional regulation disorder. There is no 'bad person' disease.#People with BPD can be good or bad.#Btw I plan to do this with NPD too at some point. I did a leetle research and know where to start now#But I haven't picked a cat to get it#And I have personal close experience with BPD so like. That's why it comes up so much. I feel confident in how I portray it#And I get super good feedback from people who have BPD so I think I'm doing good#Also inside joke lmao; Bird Perception Disorder#Because for SOME REASON I keep using birds as a BPD metaphor#And partner found that hilarious#The birds are being perceived#bone babble
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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White people's obsession with decorum will kill us all.
#thotty speaks#thotty rants#you don't really care if we're nice you just want to remind us that you hold the power in the situation#you talk to us like misbehaving children whenever we do anything but grin at you like a fool#you want us to smile and say please and thank you even when youre tying the noose#even an acknowledgment of the harm you're causing us is viewed as 'mean'#how dare you tell me I'm hurting you? don't you know how bad that hurts my feelings?#youre so scared of us and disgusted by everything we do#you know we're a force that you can't tame that's why you treat us this way
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fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received
#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too#idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight#also something about it was weirdly validating#because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart#i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does#and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’#when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain#was just#yeah#i don't even know actually#i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw#i'm not delusional lol#but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing#which is i think why i connect with it so much#even if i express that creativity differently#(and with less skill)#sorry i'm just rambling at this point#i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn#so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book#thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble#humbug#lulu posts
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oh nooooo not me forgetting to not go on zelda youtube and being forced to reckon with the sheer magnitude of its fanbase's unchecked racism
#thoughts#zelda fandom critical#gerudos#the wildest thing is#I don't think they realize?????#I don't even think they realize#but WOW does this fandom have a fucking Problem with the gerudos#sometimes I go like#"mmm maybe I'm extrapolating a little surely it's not actually that ba--#*gets hit in the face by a dozen lazer beams*#pain is the best teacher#or something#(reminds me of the discourse surrounding batarians in mass effect)#(but even worse here because I Understand why people might not see what batarians are based on/so hateable I sort of get it)#(but like!! gerudos are meant to be partially sympathetic at least!!! and people are just Saying Shit on both ends of the spectrum)#(aka: uwu babies in need to be subbued for their own good AND they are barbarians that assault hylian men for fun)#(and it's like??? do you guys not hear your dumb selves oh my god)#(anywayyyy it's too early for this)
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