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gustingirl · 2 years

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she's in the rain | j. kiszka x reader

"You wanna make yourself go through the pain, It’s better to be held than holding on"

- in which a knight in shiny armour saves the princess from herself -

warnings: graphic panic attack

disclaimer: this is a college au, reader is a student along with josh and the band. though your ex boyfriend and the band majored in music, you were majoring something else.

This friendship was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Don’t get me wrong, you had awesome friends aside from Josh; you had several groups of friends, from different places inside the university, that were so important to you for different reasons. On the other side, Josh relied a lot on his brothers and Danny, and his outgoing bright personality allowed him to befriend whoever talked to him. But you two had found a sort of comfort in each other that you didn’t find anywhere else. There was something about those vibes you caught the first day you two met that was so strong and vital for your souls. You felt that you cleaned each others’ hearts and minds, and that there was a secret language that only you two could speak with each other. You couldn’t ask for more, you really had found home in the arms of a friend.

But things were starting to confuse Josh a lot lately. Suddenly his heart started changing, but he wasn’t sure if it was for worse or better. What he knew is that he had no idea what was going on with him. He suddenly was nervous about seeing you. Or he would occasionally find himself thinking too much about you, way more than a normal friend would. Or his eyes would not be able to leave you, they were stuck on you, on your body, on your smile, on your eyes. He had been captured by you, and you had no idea. His dreams always included you, his plans were always based on your presence. But what truly shocked him was how fast his heart would beat whenever you were around. And don’t get me started on the way he would basically tremble the second you laid a finger on his skin. All these changes were confusing Josh every day more. He never expected it could mean anything, he thought maybe he was under too much stress and his usual self was feeling too claustrophobic around others. But he didn’t believe this, as much as he wanted to. You never made him feel claustrophobic, like people usually do. He was aware of his loud, energetic self, but these sorts of personalities always have a limit, and Josh could only be with a lot of people for an amount of time. Too many people or too many things would make him anxious, in need to be alone. But you were not the case. You were comfort, you were peace and you were calm. You were his ocean, his moment of euphoria. You were his home, in the most friendly way ever.

Josh knew everything about you, and that included your past. He knew every single detail, as you did not hide anything from him. And so he knew how much you depended on people. And so he also knew how people could be. He was not sure why, but he always had a small need to protect you, to take care of you. Not in a “she’s weak, she needs protection” way, like your ex boyfriend Harry was making you feel. He just knew you needed someone you could rely on no matter what, like Harry. Josh, despite hating him for life, knew how important Harry still was for you. And it wasn’t only because you two were dating. The role Harry had in your life was completely necessary, he used to be your comfort and home. When you lost such a person, you were lost. You needed that lighthouse you used to have with Harry, and Josh was determined to be that lighthouse.

Which reminded him of the time Harry caught him after class, with the determination (as always) of humiliating Josh. Little did he know, Josh never holds back. He looked pacific, cool, the type of person who doesn’t give a shit about anything and lives life to the extreme. But Josh could feel anger, he could be pissed off, and boy, you don’t want him as your enemy. Jake would constantly tell you how Josh had been in terrible situations for not thinking before talking while being very pissed off. He had to learn how to control himself, and now he could do it. He could cross his arms tightly over his chest, swallow and breathe deeply to avoid the need to send to hell the person yelling at him. But Harry had found the nerve to drive him insane and found joy in touching it every once in a while. Josh barely had anything that could drive him crazy, except for three things: his family (including Danny), his work and now you. Someone could expect your death in his hands if you dare to touch any of those three. Harry obviously knew this and used it against him every time he could. Though Josh also quickly noticed that Harry only wanted a reaction from him, and he soon changed his attitude around his best friend’s ex. Harry had intercepted him after class and attacked Josh directly based on you. He went off about how he would never matter to you, how you were only needing comfort and did not care if it was him or any of his brothers. He soon concluded his speech with pride as he clarified that Josh would never be him, as in he would never be what Harry was to you. At that moment Josh realized Harry was wrong and aware of it. He knew damn well Josh had already replaced him, he was now that lighthouse you needed. So then, barely being pissed off, Josh looked Harry up and down and, with a small smirk, he did not hesitate to reply with a proud “Thank God” before leaving an annoyed Harry at the hallway, surrounded by very nosy classmates.

Josh also knew how much you needed him, how much you were relying on him. And he knew how much you needed someone right now. You were going through a lot of things you had been accumulating for years. And he was also quite aware of how much you shut up about yourself. You were the first one to support someone, help someone or listen to them, no matter if they were friends or not. He knew how you would think of everybody but of yourself, and Josh realized he had to do it for you. He would understand many things one very upsetting night.

He had just arrived at his dorm with Sam after hanging out the whole afternoon. He wanted to bring you with him, but you were working on your own stuff the whole day. You two had barely spoken which saddened him a lot. He loved chatting with you, even if it was just memes. Just the activity of chatting was enough for him. He really missed you, but he knew you also needed your time and space; he couldn’t be around all the time.

As soon as they arrived, Sam went straight to take a shower. Josh could only sit down on the couch before his phone rang. He checked the screen and your name made him frown. He was aware you despised phone calls, and the sudden one plus the lack of previous messages took him off. In no time he picked up. He panicked at first. All he could hear was weird breathing and a very low sound, human sound for sure. It was almost 11pm, so he could only think you were in bed and….touching yourself? He hated that it was the first thing he could think of. But he quickly erased those thoughts and called your name. The lack of answer made his heart beat faster and he straightened up his posture, drawn in concern. He called your name again but it was interrupted by your shaking voice.

“J-Josh” he could hear in between whimpers. He stuttered hard, no words could be built inside his head. “I-I can’t….I-I can’t breathe, Josh”

That’s all he needed to stand up, take his keys and run away from home towards your dorm. He spent the whole time that took him to arrive at her place talking to you, begging you to stay on the phone and to not hang up.

He then started remembering you suffered panic attacks for a while already. You had shared with him, as always, everything that went down with you back during summer 2019, how a specific situation had developed you panic attacks and very bad nightmares. He knew, then, that Harry was very important to you during that time, and how he seemed to be the only one who could calm you down during your attacks. Josh also got told about the things that could trigger them, despite those attacks getting less harsh as time passed. Your best friend took her time to educate him about the issue from the perspective of someone who’s in your life and may know more than you did. She had explained the way those attacks hit you and what you would let them do or not during the moment. All those thoughts were torturing his head as he was basically jumping the stairs, doing 11 floors in 1 minute down the stairs. He was running like his life depended on it, from his building to yours. What usually would take him 20 minutes, took him barely 4 minutes to arrive at your dorm. He had your dorm’s keys so there wasn’t much he needed to do. As soon as he stepped inside, he hung up and found you, who were on the bathroom’s floor, holding your legs against your chest and grabbing your throat as you cried hard.

The scene in front of his eyes was enough to send him off a cliff. Never had his heart hurt so much. He had seen so many things during his life, nothing was all flowers and shiny colors. But seeing you in this state and not knowing the trigger was all too much for him. You were always smiling, always positive. Issues would be solved in a second if someone would go to you for advice. You seemed like a ray of sunshine but in the human version. And seeing you scratching your neck while trying to breathe, crying so hard it could be heard from the hallway, trembling like a small child, was heartbreaking. And his heart was really broken, and he even found himself wanting to cry too.

But he needed to be there for you now. In a second he sat down in front of you. He barely moved you, knowing it could be worse. He just hugged your legs and stroked them, kissing your knees as he tried to talk to you. Josh knew you were not going to listen to him now. Anyways, he was going to try. He started by encouraging you to stop hurting yourself.

“Babe, I’m here, ok? Come, let me see you, let me help you”

As there wasn’t much answer, he kept going.

“Nothing you’re thinking is real, mama. And whatever is tormenting you, it has a solution. Remember what you always tell me” he smiled sadly, even though he knew you weren’t seeing him. But he knew you could hear his smile in his words, as you would always tell him how much you loved that “If it has a solution, why bother? And even if it doesn’t, why bother? Baby, we can do this together. I’m not leaving your side, I promise”

To his surprise, you seemed to start relaxing your hands. They left your neck and went to your body, in a much calmer way, which allowed him to at least take one hand. He didn’t try any further than that, he didn’t want to violate your space knowing how hard it was being for you. Being able to hold your hand was enough for him, enough to send shivers down his spine. Why? He had no idea. But the mere touch drove him insane. However, he was too immersed into the situation to be able to think about himself.

With his thumb, he caressed your hand as he kept encouraging you to calm down. You were still struggling, as expected, with your head down and your other hand holding your chest. Josh swallowed hard, hating the scene in front of him. It wasn’t his first time seeing you cry, but it had never been this bad. He felt useless, feeling like his words were nothing to you right and he couldn’t do anything to calm you down. For the first time, he feared Harry was right. He hated to admit it, even though deep down he always did. Josh was never going to be the person Harry was for you. No matter how many times you reassured Josh he was your comfort, he still didn’t feel he was for you the person he wanted to be. He wanted to be more, something else, though he wasn’t sure exactly what these things meant now.

All he knew is that he wasn’t Harry, and that could be a bad thing or a good thing. He was Josh after all, and you loved him for who he was. Soon all these thoughts made sense to him and he realized who he was for you.

“Babe, listen to me. Whatever you’re thinking, is literally just your mind playing tricks. Sing in your head your favorite song, shut those voices up. Think of anything else, of your comfort place, of your favorite song. Can you sing it for me, baby? Can you sing your favorite song?”

Josh’s heart suddenly stopped when you raised your head to look at him. He struggled to read your face, not knowing whether you were mad, happy, sad, upset, annoyed. He was scared of being annoying. He knew he usually was, his energetic self was always too loud for the common crowds. But you loved it, and he barely cared about it as long as you loved him that way. But now was not the time to be annoying, and now you could easily hate it.You could easily be hating him, and the mere thought of it made him sick. He had said several times that hurting you in any way was his worst nightmare, and just the idea of doing it in such a vulnerable moment was killing him.

But his heart not only continued beating, but was beating much faster as he watched you shake your head and muttered a soft “i can’t do it” in between soft whimpers. Josh took a deep breath and without much introduction, he began singing one of his own songs, as he knew from your own mouth that it was your favorite song.

In between lines, he never forgot to kiss your hand. He had no idea what made him do it, though he was always thinking of touching you. His love language had always being physical touch, and he suffered a lot. Almost everybody who ever surrounded him was quite the opposite, or they had a lot of limits. He had learnt to control himself until he met you. You were just like him, your need for physical touch was so subconscious that you barely noticed whenever you were doing it. He soon noticed this but yet asked for your consent to touch you. He had always been respectful towards you. Like explained before, the idea of bothering you, of annoying you or even hurting you always killed him. He needed you to be comfortable with him, he knew how hard it could be to be around him. But you were so welcoming, always so nice and always so warm. You were so warm that Josh just couldn’t believe it. You felt like summer for him. Always bright, always kind, always warm. And this just made him want to always be closer. As the friendship grew, his hands started roaming your body even more. Not that yours were any further, but Josh always knew he had to be more careful than you. He didn’t want you or anybody else to believe he had other intentions behind his actions. He especially didn’t want you to believe otherwise.

But now he had to be close. Words weren’t enough for a girl whose love language was physical touch. He knew how much you needed that warmth now, and he was willing to be that warmth you always were for him. He thought kissing was probably too much, but you weren’t reacting to it so maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought. His thumb was always working its way around your hand throughout the song. The other hand was sometimes on your thighs, sometimes just on the floor to support himself, and sometimes it would join the other hand.

Relief went through his body as your body started to relax. He had now clear view of your face, though the red eyes and sad expression was still too painful to look at. Your arms seemed to be the first ones to calm down, and so he soon took your other hand and continued singing while caressing and kissing. A smile suddenly appeared on his face. He never noticed when it did, maybe just feeling you calming down made him happy. But it was giving results, as you replied with a smile too, though tears were still running from your eyes.

He was able to finish the song, and the time it took was enough for you to finally be able to breathe. The room was suddenly silent. It was a good sign, though. You were calm, you were breathing normally and you were looking at him. Josh didn’t realize how quiet he was being. He had just got lost in your eyes. It happened a lot, anyways. He thought it was quite normal, given that these comfortable silences with staring were quite common in your friendship. However, it wasn’t time to stay silent. He needed to hear you talk.

“Is it good now, baby?” you nodded with a small smile, which made his own smile grow bigger “Good, baby, good” he hesitated before reaching his hand towards your hair to stroke it softly. You seemed to respond well to his touch, which also made him relax too. He hadn’t realized how much tension he was holding until that moment.

Josh soon stood up and helped you do the same. Your best friend had told him how suffocating the room could become once the attack was gone, so he wanted to rush you out of it. However, there wasn’t much he could do since you soon hugged him tightly, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. He took some time to hug back, being a bit taken back by it. Once he did, he hugged you as tight as he could, taking care of not hurting you. But he needed to hug you tightly, it was the only way he wanted to ever hug you. He always did, he knew how much you loved being hugged that way. He understood you, there were many things you had in common.

You started apologizing and thanking him at the same time, emphasizing on how much it meant for you what he was doing. He didn’t waste time to reply saying you didn’t have to thank him for anything, that he was always going to be there for you no matter what. The hug lasted much longer than any other hug. He didn’t mind at all, he even preferred it this way. Your warmth was his drug, making him want to stay this way forever.

You two needed to leave the bathroom, however. With a smile, Josh dragged you to the sink and, in the usual comfortable silence, he took the time to clean your face and dry it. All the meantime, your eyes were glued on his. Not on him, though, on his eyes. They were penetrating him, nailing his heart with each second that passed. He was a mess of nerves and blushes, but he tried hard to hide it. His mind was going everywhere, starting with why was he feeling all this so hard. Why was taking care of you this way so important to him? Why were you so important to him? He obviously knew the answer to that one last question; you had always been important to him since day one. But now it felt like there were other reasons behind it. He could feel them, but he couldn’t understand them. Your eyes being so stuck on him was making him struggle hard.

Once you showed another small smile on his face, Josh took you outside the bathroom and closed it behind his back. You hugged him again, and it was then when he realized you needed to stay close, so he had an idea.He proposed to you to lay down, and as he shared his plan, he began dragging you to the couch while laying on it, much closer to one side so you could have space. You soon understood what he was planning and you obeyed, laying down next to him but placing your head and hand on his chest. His hands traveled directly to your head and arms, stroking and caressing you like they always did. He again felt you relax after taking a deep breath.

For a while you stayed this way. Your eyes were closed as he laid kisses on your head while stroking your hair and holding your hand on his chest. He was a hundred percent sure now that he was probably crossing a million lines of their friendship. This was for sure something not typical in a friendship, despite you seeming completely normal with it. He considered this was probably a different situation and maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought. Anyways, he did not once think of stopping his actions.

He remembered again what your best friend had told him. Your panic attacks tended to be triggered by your concerns over things you couldn’t handle. They were born from watching your friend die after watching her struggle with mental health for months and not being able to do something. So it was understandable that now any situation with those characteristics could be enough triggers for you. With calm and a bit of concern, Josh continued stroking your hair, placing small kisses on your head as he began reassuring you that all thoughts were just thoughts, not realities.

“Your friend Cody is doing so good, you know? We ran into each other the other day, he was so happy of working those projects with you”

He thought of starting off with a close friend of his. He was aware Cody struggled a lot since he was also close to that friend you guys had lost. He also knew you were very special to him, that you had helped him countless times. The little giggle you released felt like joy for Josh’s heart. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling like this giggle was evidence that it was working. He swallowed before mentioning the following name.

“I met your new friend the other day. She talked so much about you, she said you’re like her rock”

Now your body was more relaxed, and you smiled for a second again, though he didn’t notice. Josh had his eyes glued on nothing as he kept kissing your head and stroking your hand. He was about to go on when you talked.

“It’s Meghan”

Josh knew he had to let you decide whenever you wanted to share your thoughts. You were never someone to willingly talk about your issues. You had the habit of putting literally everybody before you, and you had gotten too used to listening to others rather than to be listened to. You were comfortable enough with only a few people to share your deep concerns and feelings, and Josh knew he was one of those people. However, he also understood you needed your time and space, especially given this was not usual for you. He believed your feelings must have been minimized several times in the past, which led you to close yourself to almost everybody. So, now hearing you randomly share your problems was very important, for both of you actually. Somehow, he felt like the friendship was becoming tighter with every second that passed.

“What about her?” he decided to say, as you did not continue talking. He felt you swallow hard before replying.

“She’s not doing well, Josh” your voice cracked a bit, and Josh tightened the hug. He knew what was coming, so he got prepared “she doesn’t want to get better, I don’t know what to do. She’s closing herself every day more; I feel her so distant. I know she’s struggling; I know that guy is fucking her up, but she won’t let me help. She’s struggling so much but is dealing with everything on her own. She used to come to me but ever since this asshole arrived it’s like she’s so far away. It’s so evident she’s not doing ok; she’s not being herself. She called me to cry ranting with me, I can’t do anything and I hate, fuck I hate it so much, Josh, I-“

This time it was him who swallowed hard as you couldn’t continue talking due to crying again. In fear of another attack, Josh shushed you as he stroked almost your entire torso and head, without stopping the kisses at any moment. You probably had more going on inside your head, but to him this was enough. You could rant as much as you could before breaking down again, and he noticed the topic was still too sensitive for you. He found a way to change the subject. He began sharing with you some (rather stupid) anecdotes and facts to distract you from your thoughts.

You spent the following two hours without moving one finger. Josh lost count of the amount of hours you had spent cuddling. Such a thing had never happened before. Yes, you have cuddled to watch a movie or have hugged for a while. But this time, the atmosphere was completely different. This time, and for only a few seconds, Josh felt he was being your boyfriend rather than your friend. Friends could hug and cuddle, but not in the way you two were doing it. And Josh’s mind was everywhere, as he also believed that a friend would never feel the way he was feeling. Why was he thinking so much about you? Why was he overanalyzing everything? Why the sudden thought of feeling like your boyfriend was making him feel so happy? These and millions of more questions were tormenting his head, though he attempted hard to focus on you and you only.

By the time he saw you yawn you two were already sitting on the couch, face to face, as you chatted about life and stuff, like always. A smile painted his face, finding your tiredness too cute. He always wondered why such stupid small things made him smile. Like whenever he watches you work on college homework and your concentrated expression is adorable. Or when you’re struggling to find an outfit, though everything looks amazing on you. Or when you make a mistake when doing your makeup, and the little “oh shit”’s make him giggle like a toddler. Was it normal? To be so enhanced with your best friend? He knew there were plenty of abnormal things in your friendship. Nobody befriends someone in an hour. But you had caught a vibe the second you two met, and it had been hell of a ride since then. In the best way ever, though. You were a before and an after. Josh knew damn well he was never going to find a friend like you ever again, and he was glad. Nobody could ever replace you.

“It’s quite late, wanna go to bed?” Josh wondered, stroking your knee to reassure you it was more than fine

“Yeah, I can barely keep my eyes open” you answered with a smile as your eyes were really starting to close.

However, you two stayed a few seconds just staring at each other. He had no idea why you weren’t moving, but he knew why he wasn’t. He didn’t want to leave. He was still concerned about you, and he just didn’t want to leave you alone after the incident. He hesitated a million times before making his comment.

“I’m not leaving, by the way. I need to stay with you. I’ll sleep on the couch, don’t worry. But let me stay the night, please” he could finally breathe when you nodded with a small smile before standing up, almost as if you were waiting for him to ask that.

He watched you stand up and go to your room and stayed outside the door, waiting for you to get changed. Once the door opened, Josh walked in as you left the room to go to the bathroom. For the minutes you spent there, Josh stood there, near your bed, taking a good look at your room. He had been there so many times but he never paid attention to it. It fit you perfectly. The style, the pictures on the wall, the little drawings on it that he wondered how expensive it would be to cover them if the university found out. Even the way the clothes were arranged. It was all so…you. So perfect for you. He was smiling like a kid as he took a good look at every wall and every detail. He was so concentrated that he didn’t notice you had returned from the bathroom looking quite sad. When he turned around, he found you staring at nothing, probably immersed in your own thoughts.

“Are you alright?” Josh knew that was probably the dumbest question he could ever ask after the previous situation, but it felt right to ask.

“I can’t stop thinking about her.” you answered softly, with tears forming in your eyes. You attempted to continue, but your voice wouldn’t respond. You bursted in tears once again, not as hard as before, but still shaking. Josh ran towards you and hugged you as tight as he could. He calmed you by rubbing your back and kissing your head again. He continuously thought about the amount of limits he was crossing with those kisses. They were harmless, but they were happening. Josh knew he probably shouldn’t be doing them, but he couldn’t help himself. He had no idea how to transmit the warmth you always had for him. It’s not like you never kissed his cheek, his forehead, his head or even his arms before. You were as touchy as he was. But he wasn’t the one who had just lost a very important person. He hated Harry so much, but he knew he meant a lot to you, so he had always respected your limits. But again, those kisses meant nothing, right?

After spending a good time thinking about it, Josh decided he couldn’t hide it anymore.

“Let me sleep with you. I need to have an eye on you, baby. I won’t bother, I promise. I’ll stay as further as possible, but let me stay close to you. I won’t be able to sleep”

He had never been so afraid of an answer before. Josh was barely breathing, knowing this limit was very evident, and he had just asked permission to cross it. When he felt you pull away from the hug, his heart stopped beating for good. He couldn’t read your face, and fear began possessing him. But your small nod brought him back to life. You didn’t say much before turning around and getting inside the bed. He stood there, wondering how you accepted such an offer. But more importantly, he wondered what the fuck he was supposed to wear. He never used pijamas or anything, he only slept in underwear. The few clothes he had at your place were mostly hoodies he had lent you before. He looked around nervously, fidgeting his hands and opening his mouth to make a comment though nothing would come out of it. Fortunately (for him), you spoke.

“What are you waiting for?” Josh straight up looked at you, shocked by the sudden question. He should have known you would eventually ask him. He struggled to say the truth at first, but he knew it was not a moment to lie or hide anything from a person who knew him quite well.

“Um I….I don’t tend to sleep with clothes on” he showed a shy smile and quickly added “I only have some hoodies….here” he kept playing with the edge of his shirt, waiting for whatever you could say.

“How do you sleep, then?” Though your voice was soft, he still felt scared. Not sure if scared of you, of your answer or of what, but he was so scared at the moment. But he still knew he couldn’t lie.

“O-only underwear” Josh almost held his breath as he looked at you. You hadn’t shown one spice of expression since he had arrived. It scared him a lot. He could always tell what was going on with you by just looking at her but this time was so different. He hated it.

“Ok, I don’t mind” Josh barely noticed how relaxed he suddenly felt until you laughed softly “Why that sigh?” you asked as you bit your nails. He laughed softly too, blushing a bit after getting caught.

“I was afraid of crossing a line”

You shook your head while still smiling.

“Never with me, Josh. Too much has happened between us for me to care about this. Besides I’ve already seen your brothers naked, I don’t think it can be any worse than that”

Josh felt his face burn like fire. He knew how close you also were to his brothers but never imagined it could reach that extent. You had previously told the boys that you didn’t mind getting changed in front of them, as you believed there was no such difference between underwear and a bikini. But Josh seemed to be the only one with an issue with that. He believed the concept of seeing someone in underwear was too intimate and private to do it with anybody. He preferred to give you space and privacy, so whenever you would start undressing in front of him, he always rushed to cover his face. But the mere thought of his brothers seeing you in underwear and you seeing them naked was doing things to his mind and heart. He couldn’t describe with words what he was feeling. It was a sort of mix between anger and….jealousy? Why did it feel like jealousy? He wasn’t even desiring that.

He tried hard to shake off any possible image in his head and only smiled back at your answer. Josh then began stripping down without taking his shirt, feeling somehow calm since you weren’t really staring. You seemed more dissociative, like you had been since he arrived. Josh didn’t take much more time to get inside the bed. As soon as he did, he got closer (but not much) to you and softly took the hand off your mouth. You had that habit of biting your nails, mostly when you were stressed or anxious. You had previously told him about it and even asked him to tell you off whenever he would catch you doing it. You had no control over it but knew how bad it was. Therefore, Josh obeyed every single time. But now, he was in a minefield. Any wrong move and everything was gone. Maybe invading your habit could piss you off. For his luck, you did not make a comment and only smiled shyly at him. He smiled back, but a bit wider when he watched you close the gap between you two to hug him. More than to hug him, to be hugged. You curled up in his chest, and he immediately covered you with his arms. You kept muttering small “thank you”’s to which Josh kept replying with big smiles and “you don’t need to thank me”’s much sweeter with every second passed.

Soon you both laid down, though not much chatting could be done as soon as your heads hit the pillows, since you closed her eyes and began replying with no coherence. However, Josh was wide awake. His eyes could not be closed. It was quite the opposite; they were glued on you. You were deep asleep as he watched you. Was it creepy? Most probably. But he couldn’t help it. He was enhanced. Every detail about you had him speechless. And only now he noticed them. The shape of your face, the way your lips open slightly whenever you’re not focused, how cute your eyelashes were. He noticed the small spots of makeup you couldn’t take off. He noticed the way your hair fell on your face almost perfectly. Josh was amazed at you, as if he was staring at a living masterpiece. Because you were. To his eyes, you truly were perfect.

Either way, none of these thoughts were bringing a smile to his face. In fact, they were making him sad. Because it was the first time since he had arrived that he was truly alone with his thoughts, and he was hating it. He hated his thoughts. They were starting to analyze everything. They were overthinking everything. They were too much for him now. But worse is, they were finding answers to all the questions he had been asking himself. There were millions, billions, zillions answers, one more confusing than the other.

He believed he had spent at least an hour doing nothing more than staring and thinking until he felt you move. While panicking, he had no other idea than to close his eyes, pretend to be asleep. It didn’t take much before he was slightly shaken “to be awakened”. He didn’t open his eyes right away to give off the idea he was truly asleep. He only did when you called his name. Doing the best acting he could (he was pretty good at it, he had done theatre before), he faked being tired and taking a long time to open his eyes.

“Sorry I woke you up. Can I….” you started, but seemed really hesitant about it. He made an expression to let you know it was ok to go on, so you did “Can we do the same as before?”

Realization only hit him after you pointed at his chest. You wanted to cuddle like you did on the couch. He for sure didn’t want to do it. A lot had changed in between those hours and he knew the risk of saying yes. But it was you. He never could say no. So, as you expected, he nodded with a small smile and laid on his back to give you space. You quickly moved forward to lay properly on top of him. And as fast as you did, he hugged you tightly. As he felt your body loose tension, a small tear rolled down his face and he bit his lip hard. Realization had hit once more. Now he only had one answer inside his head. And that answer was probably the worst possible one, the only answer he was hoping was wrong. But it wasn’t. It was the only right one.

He was falling in love with you.

i hope this was done correctly!! thank you for reading <3

#greta van fleet #gvf #.gvftxt #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fics #josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka x reader #greta van fleet x reader

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bitter-sweet-coffee · 2 years

Text

idk who needs to hear this but if you have adhd/think you have adhd or in any way relate, i have a bit of advice:

are you a procrastinator who can only do things when they're due? oh, i bet it's exhausting, right? well, if you manage to get accustomed to working ahead of time, lower your expectations. do it. lower them.

and you might be thinking "that's gonna make me not do anything!" well lower your productivity as much as you can while still doing something: more than the bare minimum you were doing before, and less than anything else.

"i want to finish tasks in advance of the due date because it'll be out of the way so i can relax instead of having to constantly work on stuff from when it's due to when i start" you won't relax or finish. okay, maybe you finish a task ahead of time, that's amazing progress! but it won't work that way if you've already cracked the code to working in advance.

not so fun fact: there is always going to be a future deadline that you can work ahead on, and worse cases where there are future deadlines you CANT work ahead on (like a test or scheduled social event)

if you get too used to working in advance you're going to fixate on every upcoming experience and get addicted to the "i was just productive" happy brain juice... which is not good either. it's actually very bad because there's nothing you can do to stop things from happening, because "things happening" and "stuff to do" is kinda integral to conscious existence and like... being alive and self aware and stuff!!!

what can you do about this? well, you can procrastinate a little, as a treat.

condition your productivity like a temporal render distance: let's say, 8 days forward? are there any outstanding deadlines besides the normal tasks you routinely do? okay, even if you're super busy there should only be a handful non-patterned deadlines (not process work, deadlines).

EXAMPLE: maybe you have an essay, a test, an extra work shift, and a coffee date with a friend you haven't seen in weeks over the next 8 days. cool, you only need to focus on the essay and ensure you do it before the extra work shift: maybe turn it into point-form outline and try typing it on your phone using comic sans and dark mode! a draft or outline is good enough, now carry on with your normal schedule and daily tasks (classes, work, chores, etc...). if the test is after your work shift, study for the test a little bit the night before and morning of— if you can and usually study anyways. i never study and i don't really do tests/exams that require studying if even do them so it's nbd if you don't do anything for the test! try and turn that essay outline/point form into full sentences now and if you have the energy, wait a couple hours/later that day and edit it! send it! bam, done. now you just have to go see your friend, and no matter where that is scheduled, ensure you aren't completing one of the tasks i mentioned within 24 hours before or after this social event! if you do it too close before, you'll be burnt out. if you do it too close after, you'll be thinking about it the whole time and not enjoy yourself. try not to think about the work shift and test since they suck and are out of your control, so treat yourself to a relaxing period or physical reward after each! now if you feel like it and have something due super far away, or suddenly get saddled with another task, you have a lot more wiggle room and relaxing time that can be replaced with work if needed/wanted WITHOUT breaking you.

^^^ don't think about the next week or future weeks or other shit that's coming up, just the 8 day render distance (or whatever distance you choose). once you near the end of this chunk, prep the next chunk in a similar way that doesn't force you to overload on work ASAP, but also not rush every single one and burn out! yeah you can also do an extra piece of a huge process-project like a final research paper or presentation that has deadlines throughout its completion duration, but it's not the priority. acceptable time will present itself when these things are meant to be worked on

TLDR: productivity is good until you fixate on it. be aware but not hyperaware! do stuff, but not too much stuff: less is better. be as unproductive as possible without it being a problem, and as you adjust to this, slowly increase the amount of productivity to manageable levels!

you can't suddenly whip yourself into working like people who don't default to executive disfunction, and it's actually more damaging to be very productive. you're gonna feel that "oh shit i gotta do work" sensation that you get while doing something last minute... all the time. it will destroy you and is NOT worth it! start small, not because you can't do more, but because you shouldn't just yet or maybe ever.

sincerely, someone who has been overworked and jacked up on the maximum legal concerta dosage for almost 2 months now that desperately needs a nap and some free time that doesn't involve crying and desperately trying to do fun things in vain because i'm too exhausted to enjoy hobbies :")

#bsc‼️#long post #adhd things #semi vent #semi reliable advice #on:#executive disfunction #procrastination #toxic productivity #tldr: put the pro back in procrastination #do not work too much oh my god

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jiminrings · 3 years

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I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

#drabble week #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook headcanons #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook oneshots

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silkgonerough · 3 years

Text

Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

#natal aspects #natal astrology #astro chart #astro rant #astro culture #astro observations #astrology #natal

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

Text

Dimitrescu Daughter HCs

I thought this would only take a few minutes. I was so, so very wrong. Anyway, some of these are somewhat exclusive to my fic (Serenade), but they’ll make sense even if you haven’t read that.

Daniela:

Others have already talked about how Daniela reads a ton of romance novels, so I’m not really going to go into that very much, just saying that I agree 100%, I mean c’mon, it’s practically canon.

While she mainly sources books from her family’s library, there are a few she’s “acquired” over the years that she keeps locked away in her room. These tend to be a bit, ahem, steamier than her mother would approve of/let her read under normal circumstances.

How did she get these? Well, there has to be someone who delivers goods to Castle Dimitrescu (Duke, perhaps?), seeing as the Maidens need, like, actual food to survive. Sometimes Daniela manages to convince them to order books for her, usually just asking for books by authors she likes, or ones she’s heard maidens whispering about.

No, the delivery person does not read the book’s summaries or reviews, they have a feeling (based on titles and covers alone) that they don’t want to know.

As for her experiences with actual romance… she’s so very, very excited about it, all the time. Wants to kiss every cute Maiden she sees, and sometimes daydreams about a beautiful woman fleeing from lycans who comes to the castle for shelter, clinging to Dani for warmth and protection, and it’s love at first sight, and they kiss and kiss and right as it gets to the good part-! Someone interrupts her daydream (usually Cassandra).

However, her actual experiences are fairly limited. Sure, she has kissed Maidens, but she tends to get over excited. Like in Serenade, she starts to rush the process, and usually ends up draining her “lover” aka victim before anything more intimate happens.

She’s definitely done sexual things, just, well, not with other people. Private things. Usually during or after reading one of her special books. You get the picture.

Because of this, and her aforementioned love of romance novels, Daniela has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of her first time. She wants everything to be perfect. The setting, the timing, who she’s with… Hence her reaction in chapter 3 of Serenade. It’s not that she didn’t want to continue, just that the circumstances didn’t feel right. She’s very particular!

Favorite Music Genre: Girl goes wild for an emotional, gut-wrenching love/power ballad. The type to lie in bed and cry while listening to Hozier or Lorde (not that she can hear either of them, considering her limited music options). Doesn’t admit it, though, and mostly listens to indie pop when other people can hear. That and whatever the Maiden plays on piano ;)

Okay it feels weird to joke about her loving music I wrote, anywayyyy

Hobbies: Other than reading there’s not too much I can see her doing, really. She’d be sure to get into anything that her s/o enjoys, though, even if it’s something difficult or time-consuming. Writing is something she’d love, but it’s difficult for her to keep her focus on just one project at a time. Ideally she’d write short stories, romantic ones obvs, and have someone else proofread/edit them. For the most part she’d write within fantasy and historical setting (seeing as she’s got experience in both of those departments).

ADHD, BABY. Bigtime, seriously. Maybe this is just my adhd ass projecting, but I can’t not see her as having it. For her it mainly manifests with hyper-focusing/difficulty staying on task. It’s like a switch with those on either end, flipping back and forth every once in a while. She can spend six hours reading two different books in one sitting, but if someone just breathes too loudly it disrupts her completely. Because of this she’s somewhat prone to abandoning projects. It’s a sore subject for her, and her sisters are aware, normally only bringing it up if they’re really angry with her.

Opinions on the four lords: Thinks Heisenberg is a tool (pun intended), also thinks that he secretly reads super erotic novels. She doesn’t have any proof, though, and would never say anything about it out loud. Just makes fun of him in her head. Doesn’t actually judge him for what she thinks he reads, just judges his personality and the “need he feels to hide his secret”. Loves Donna, and low-key thinks she’s attractive. Daniela mostly bases that off the portrait she’s seen, but, like many fans, also thinks the hands are nice. The puppets don’t bother her, though she also doesn’t really care about them, other than thinking that Donna interacting with them is cute.

Opinions continued: Moreau is… uh… fish boy. Daniela thinks he’s weird, kinda gross, and hardly considers him a “real” lord. Poor boy :( At least she doesn’t actively make fun of him?... Even if that’s only because she kinda forgets about him most of the time. As for Lady Dimitrescu, well, obviously Daniela loves her mom. The whole family is very close, and as the “youngest”, Daniela gets a lot of attention. Sometimes she thinks her mother is too strict, but at the end of the day there’s no love lost.

Bela:

Cleans up after her sisters a lot, but still nowhere near as much as any of the Maidens do. Often agrees to help with messes in exchange for blackmail material. “Oh, Daniela, what a shame you broke mother’s favorite dish… I could help, but you owe me one.” At the end of the day, though, there’s plenty she would slide.

Being the “oldest”, she’s expected to behave the best, and often feels more restricted than her sisters. Being an example is hard! Occasionally she’ll have the impulse to rebel, but this usually only manifests in scenarios like the one mentioned above, aka she’ll simply be more lenient of her siblings for a bit.

Overall far less sadistic than her sisters. Cares more about the quality of pain then the amount of it. Only ever goes overboard if someone full out threatens or hurts her family. Insults towards them still earn her ire, and will get her to punish someone, but it’s not enough to make her resort to torture. Usually.

Gets the most restless out of the three. As cool (and large) as the castle is, it’s all she’s ever really known. If not for her weakness to cold, she’d go out on hikes a lot. Nature interests her, fascinates her, but she’d be a little less fond of most of it in person. Like, oh, waterfalls sound so cool, followed by a hundred complaints about the noise. Thinks deer are the cutest shit ever (second only to humans, maybe).

Unlike Daniela (though that HC is relevant almost exclusively to Serenade), Bela has actually slept with a Maiden before. She doesn’t really care for them enough to consider it a relationship, instead admiring them for their entertainment value. Definitely could fall for a Maiden, simply hasn’t yet. Of the three I feel like she takes the longest to fall in love, and even longer to actually act on her feelings. Sometimes resents her siblings because they unknowingly “claimed” a Maiden that she was starting to be interested in. However, she fully acknowledges that she should have said something if she didn’t want to lose the girl, considering the situation they live in.

Favorite music genre: Classical, full orchestra style, with a soft spot for swing/jazz. Enjoys having music play softly while she reads, and is very particular about the volume. Absolutely would argue with her sisters if they tried to change the music or turn it up.

Hobbies: Reading, duh. Less interested in romance than Daniela by a considerable amount. For the most part she reads non-fiction books, enjoying learning about history and the sciences. Astronomy is at the top of her favorites list, followed by biology, then obscure (and often bloody) pieces of history. Niche=perfect. Also enjoys music, even if she had to rely mostly on self-teaching books. Knows the basics of piano, but doesn’t actively play, much preferring both the violin and harp. Most of the time she’ll only play if she knows her sisters won’t bother her, or if her mother asks her to.

Opinions on the four lords: Admires Heisenberg’s work/his edgenuity, but thinks the actual man is a temperamental child… who smells like wet dog. He’s only been at Castle Dimitrescu a couple times (per Mother Miranda’s request), and both times Bela moved to the other side of the house so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge his existence. While she would never admit it, she’s low-key creeped out by Donna’s dolls, and really only tolerates Angie. However, she would never act on her nerves, out of consideration for Donna’s feelings. She knows that her mother gets along well with the dollmaker, and keeps this at the forefront of her mind.

Opinions continued: “Moreau who? Oh, the fish guy? He’s still alive?... Good for him.” Wants to make Lady Dimitrescu proud, but not as desperately as Cassandra. Unknowingly mimics a lot of her mother’s little habits and ticks, and would be quietly embarrassed if someone pointed it out to her. As mentioned previously, she feels like she has to be an example for the others, and somewhat resents the pressure this puts on her. On the other hand, she does enjoy being “responsible for” (read: in charge of) her sisters. Additionally, she is the most likely to get away with lying to Alcina, though she does not often do so. This isn’t because she’s the most manipulative (that’s Cass), or the best liar (that’s Dani, if she’s trying), but simply because Alcina doesn’t think her oldest daughter would lie. Even if she doubts something Bela says, she’ll usually give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as it doesn’t happen very often.

Cassandra:

Sleeps the most of the three, if only because she’s the most active of them. Not as fast as the others while in swarm mode, but the fastest on foot, partially because she’s more likely to simply walk places. She knows the sound of feet on the floor scares the Maidens, and she drinks their fear with utter pleasure. Additionally she claims that it just feels nice to “stretch her legs”. But she will not hesitate to enter swarm mode when chasing someone. As fun as it is to smell their fear, she can get impatient, wanting to get close and personal to her target.

Tends to hide most of her feelings, sometimes even opting to “convert” them into anger. In other words, think of her emotional state as an ever-filling bottle of water. As things happen, she feels emotions, and the rate at which water pours into the bottle increases. Ideally if the water level started getting too high, she would address whatever is increasing the flow of water. Instead of that, she often uses anger, which is equivalent to shaking the bottle a bit and letting water messily spill out of it. Doesn’t address the actual problem, but let’s her release some pressure/free up some room.

Goes through Maidens faster than her siblings (yes, even Daniela “draining you of blood is romantic” Dimitrescu). Not all of them even die in the basement, sometimes what was supposed to be a “warning” turns into “oh shit the blood won’t stop coming out, this is how I die, in this accursed castle, no friends or family to mourn me, just the painful knowledge that I will not be the last, I will die for no cause, no glory, just the bitter whims of a blood-soaked mistress” or something along those lines.

While more likely to get attached to someone than Bela, Cassandra isn’t one to do much about it. She might flirt, might even try to kiss (or, uh, kiss while also not wearing clothes wink wink), but she won’t (usually) claim someone as her own, or protest if one of her sisters wants to have some fun with them (even if it’s the bloody kind of fun). Technically gets over breakups and “breakups” (i.e. death) easier than either of her sisters. To be fully accurate, Daniela still goes through lovers faster, but she also remembers them and cares for them for longer post-breakup.

Somewhat of a blood kink. Like, more than vampires automatically have. In intimate settings she cares more about the quantity of blood and what she can do with it (loves bloodstains) than what causes the bloodshed.

Favorite music genre: Rock ‘n roll. Leans towards older stuff, as well as heavier songs. Soft spot for symphonic metal, but doesn’t admit it out of the fear that some might consider it a “weaker form” of the genre. Almost exclusively listens to bands that have female vocalists, and gets crushes on them more than she’d ever admit.

Hobbies: Art! Painting, mostly, but dabbles in sculpture from time to time. It’s been too long since I took an art class for me to suggest a style for her paintings, but I imagine her sculptures would be somewhat abstract. Her art would revolve around emotion, the stronger and rawer the better, with viewers often being left uncomfortable. While Alcina buys plenty of art supplies for her, Cassandra is fond of improvising, especially by creating her own “tools” (of questionable efficiency) out of items she has laying around. She is absolutely the one who took her mother’s lipstick. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry, it’s just mentioned in one of the RE8 notes that Lady Dimitrescu’s valuable lipstick is missing.

Opinions on the four lords: Tolerates Heisenberg more than the rest of her family by a considerable amount. She’s seen glimpses of his work, his steampunk-adjacent style, and actually kind of digs it. While Bela cares more about the science behind his work, Cassandra just digs the aesthetic. Sometimes for her art she also needs things she can’t get from the castle, and are too obscure to get from a merchant, so she trades tools/ideas with Heisenberg in exchange for him making something for her. “Can you make a battery but whenever it’s in use it makes a horrible screaming sound?” “Yes. PS I hate your mother and Miranda.” “I didn’t fucking ask.”

Opinions continued: Doesn’t really care much about Donna, but acknowledges her as a fellow artist, and would be willing to consult her if she talked more (and talked without Angie). Cassandra hasn’t met Moreau, thankfully (he would cry). Knows about him from her sister/mother, and as a result doesn’t care about him. Internally whenever someone mentions him, she pictures, like, a Goldfish Cracker (the snack that smiles back) with legs except also it’s green and moldy.

Opinions cont.: Loves her mother so much. Determined to please her, to make her proud, but often left feeling less loved than her sisters. This strains her relationship with her family, not that she’d ever voice her feelings and talk through the issue. Let’s be real, Alcina would probably feel guilty for not realizing how Cass felt. Nonetheless, Cassandra probably spends the most time with her mother, often offering to assist her with tasks, or trying to get her to appreciate her art.

#resident evil: village #daniela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #dimitrescu family

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depressing-debbie · 3 years

Note

Are you still doing the fluff alphabet? If so, could you do Levi?? Thank you 😘

Absolutely! Fluff alphabet masterlist is here

School may be crashing and burning but at least I’ve got time to write :) lmao

I wrote this at 3 AM and I refuse to edit, so enjoy <3

Fluff Alphabet: Levi

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

I honestly don’t think the activity matters to him. He likes to stay home a lot because it’s easier, and because he feels more comfortable somewhere private. Big fancy dates aren’t super common because he views expensive romantic dinners and such as a cliche that he’s too old and mature for, but if it’s something his s/o would be excited about, he’d be secretly excited to indulge sometimes. He’d also probably enjoy museums and art galleries. But again, for the most part, he just wants to spend time with them, it doesn’t matter where.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Levi’s definitely not an appearance-oriented person. Don’t get me wrong, he thinks his s/o is stunning, and he makes sure they know it. But that’s not what he admires about them, their connection is so much deeper than that. He genuinely sees them for who they are and not what they look like, which is why they’re just so beautiful to him, if that makes sense.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He probably panicked the first time he saw his s/o struggling. He’s not the most in tune with his emotions, so he especially doesn’t know how to help others with this kind of thing. But I feel like his protective instincts would kick in and he would actually be really comforting. Most likely, he’d just sit by his s/o’s side silently and make his presence known until they were feeling well enough to talk. At which point he hears them out and offers some advice, of course with the perfect amount of sarcasm and shit jokes to cheer them up a bit. And he’d probably ask them later what they would prefer he do in that situation if it happens again, which of course he would remember in the future.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

This is a point of internal conflict for Levi, for sure. After everything he’s been through, again, he’s become pretty emotionally closed off. He can’t really depend on anything or anyone staying in his life for too long because they never have. So it would really take a while before Levi can really start to picture his future with his s/o. Even then, he would feel a bit guilty for allowing himself to indulge in those dreams. But at the end of the day, he just dreams about some sort of stability with his s/o some day. He doesn’t really care about the details, he just wants to know that they’re going to be together, and that they can develop some kind of routine and stability that he never really had in the past.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It’s definitely equal. Levi shares any decision-making with his s/o, and he’d definitely prefer that they do the same, just because that makes their partnership stronger. Because they are very much a team.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Levi does tend to have a bit of a temper, but it’s not something that he would ever want to bring into his relationship. He doesn’t let either of them fight over something petty just because it’s not worth it. And with a more serious disagreement, he’d try hard to start a genuine discussion about it. Things happen, though, so they obviously get in fights sometimes. Levi can be kind of rude when he gets really frustrated, which is why he tries to avoid it. But he’d never actually say something to hurt his s/o, even when they’re both upset. Usually, even the rare argument calms down enough to be settled rationally.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is so incredibly grateful for his s/o; he sees and appreciates everything they do for him, and he makes sure it’s known. Explicitly saying something like that makes him a bit uncomfortable, so he finds other ways to silently show his gratitude. He makes sure his s/o’s favorite mug is always clean, and he makes them his favorite blend of tea whenever he sees that they’re stressed out. Just little things that he does to make sure they know he’s thinking about them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

There are pretty much no secrets in the relationship. The past is a little complicated; there are a few stories that Levi probably will never be able to share (or at least, it will take a very long time), and his s/o is more than entitled to keep secrets about their past that they just cannot share. But other than that, it’s an open book. Levi wouldn’t see any reason to lie about most things, unless it’s about keeping his s/o safe, and it would make him really uncomfortable to know that his s/o keeps secrets. Not that there are no boundaries, it’s just that he wouldn’t want to pour his heart out and be vulnerable just to find out that the other person doesn’t trust him as much.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Levi’s s/o probably helps him a lot, actually. He’s been emotionally closed off for a long time, and being in a relationship with trust and a deep connection would help him to open up a bit and be more vulnerable. He also just lets himself be a bit happier and more optimistic with his s/o, so his life is just a bit easier in general.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’d never admit it out loud, but he actually does get pretty jealous. It’s mostly just self esteem issues, not a lack of trust at all. He trusts them more than enough to know that they’re not going to secretly abandon him, so of course he’d never make a big deal out of it (although I think it goes without saying that if someone is hitting on his s/o or something in public and they look remotely uncomfortable, he would go absolutely batshit) But, still, sometimes he can’t help feeling sometimes like he’s not enough for them. He tries to hide it, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s sulking when he’s upset, so his s/o would most likely spot it immediately. And all he would really need is a gentle reminder that he IS enough for them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Alright I’m conflicted on this one. I’m just gonna say it, his first kiss with his s/o was kind of just not that great. He wouldn’t DARE not ask for proper consent, HOWEVER he ended up asking like three times just to make sure it was alright, which made it a teensy bit awkward. Once he finally gave in, he just gave them the teensiest little kiss and that was it for like two weeks. He’s not really great with physical touch so it takes a while for him to get comfortable. His s/o would probably have to take over from there or else they’d never kiss again, but once he gets comfortable, he does fine.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It’s during something incredibly mundane, probably just a car drive or a regular movie night. He’s going about his day when he realizes he loves them, and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna stew on that knowledge for another two weeks just because he’s too nervous. So in the middle of a movie or just like halfway home from the store, he just blurts out “hey, I love you”. It’s completely by surprise, but it’s not like it’s particularly early or far into the relationship, so it makes sense. From then on, he wouldn’t be the type of person to say it all the time (I mean, come on, his s/o should know by now, it’d just be stupid). But he also wouldn’t hold himself back from saying it when he’s feeling particularly grateful for his s/o one day. And hearing them say it back would definitely make him blush just the slightest bit every time.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Levi would be absolutely terrified to get married. BUT that’s not to say that he wouldn’t want to. It would take some considering, sure, but especially if it’s something he knows his s/o wants, he’s all in. He’d probably propose in a similar way to how he first said he loves them, except at least just a bit more planned out. It wouldn’t be a cliche grand proposal with doves and rose petals and champagne, that would drive him crazy. Most likely, he surprises them with a homemade dinner, sets the table with candles, and hands them the ring. He’d put on a confident face, but he’s panicking for sure. He’s not really a marriage-y person, so he’s not going to be buying those matching couple towels that have like “mr ackerman” and his s/o’s name on them, and he’s most definitely not giving in to those cheesy weird nicknames (”hubby” makes him glare so hard). But he would love the perceived sense of stability, commitment, and routine that go along with marriage.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Just their name, for the most part. Maybe “love” or “sweetheart”, but he always says that most nicknames are just too cliche. I mean, only lovestruck 20 year olds call each other “babe”, and that is most certainly not their relationship. But, honestly he wouldn’t mind if his s/o gave him one of those cheesy names... not that he’d ever let on to that, of course, but if they happen to figure it out one day... he wouldn’t be mad. Mostly he just loves to hear his name in their voice, so they call each other by their names.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

The token stoic expression Levi keeps in public isn’t going away just because he’s in love. To an outside eye, absolutely nothing is different. But even in public, his s/o can probably tell. Maybe it’s something about the way his eyes are just slightly warmer, slightly brighter. Maybe it’s because he’s just the slightest bit more willing to talk and hold a conversation when they’re by his side. But when they’re alone, he finally lets down that stone expression, and he’s like a whole different person. It doesn’t happen often, but on days where he’s just absolutely lovestruck, he walks around his house smiling, holding his s/o’s hand, maybe even curling up on the sofa together to nap. On those days, he just kind of lets himself be happy.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Levi’s definitely not a fan of PDA. The relationship isn’t a secret by any means, but he’s also not broadcasting it for the entire world to see. The people close to him know, and that’s plenty. He doesn’t like PDA partly because it’s too vulnerable, but also just because it’s kind of gross and unnecessary to him.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

This man has the best memory of anyone you’ll ever meet. It’s honestly a bit unsettling, but he remembers everything his s/o says, and he’ll find a way to bring it up like months later. Sometimes it’s as simple as remembering their favorite food and bringing it to them when they’re stressed out. But it could even be so crazy as them saying in a random conversation in July that they hate when mashed potatoes aren’t totally mashed, and boom, at Thanksgiving that year, they find him mashing the potatoes a little extra just to make sure. (Don’t ask how I came up with that example, my brain is weird.) His mind is a steel trap, and he uses it to his advantage.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Cliche romance irritates him so much, he avoids it at all costs, so he’s mostly creative in that sense. He has an eye for picking out ways to make his s/o happy, and even though he doesn’t consider himself particularly romantic, he actually really is.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Absolutely! Levi wants nothing more than to help his s/o achieve whatever they’re working towards, and he’s completely supportive. Anything he can do, any help or emotional support he can offer them, he’s more than willing.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

I don’t think he’s AGAINST trying new things, but he really just prefers a routine. Again, it makes him happy to have that connection of stability with his s/o, and he feels so much more comfortable knowing he can depend on that.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s very empathetic. He might struggle sometimes with understanding, just because it’s not very likely that he and his s/o have had similar experiences in life, but he knows them like the back of his hand. What he lacks in immediate understanding, he makes up for in conversations about any issues and an ability to read their expressions really really well.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Honestly, if Levi is in a long term relationship with someone, they’re one of the most important parts of his life. He doesn’t make superficial connections, and he especially doesn’t open up to people he doesn’t care deeply about, so it’s safe to say that he values his s/o greatly.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He buys his s/o flowers once a week. It’s just a little tradition that makes him happy, and he likes seeing that it makes his s/o happy, so he’s kept it going. If they don’t like flowers, then maybe it’s a little trinket they collect, or a cookie from their favorite bakery. But regardless, he hasn’t missed a week since they’ve been together, it’s really important to him.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s not necessarily an overly affectionate person. There are occasional days where it really just hits him how lucky he is, and he just wants to hold his s/o for a while and not go do anything that day. But for the most part, he’s not clingy in any means, and his s/o would have to initiate most cuddling. He’ll let them know if he’s really not in the mood, but he usually doesn’t mind (because let’s face it he’s a teensy bit touch starved). But yeah, he shows his affection in different ways for the most part.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

It’s not really an issue for him. He’s always been an independent person, so even after he lets himself trust that his s/o isn’t leaving him, he’s not going to be that level of dependent on their presence. He probably would have to fill up his schedule a bit more, though, just so he didn’t have too much down time to get all sad and miss them. He’d also probably clean everything in his sight to calm down until they return.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s zealous for sure, he isn’t about to let go of a relationship that means this much to him just because he wasn’t willing to put in the work. He’d do as much as he could to make it work.

#attack on titan #attack on titan headcanons #aot headcanons #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #snk headcanons #levi #levi ackerman #fluff alphabet #levi fluff

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

Text

Title: Children can be assholes

Summary:

Children can be fucking assholes. Actually, they were fucking assholes, too much of a bunch of assholes that Levi wondered what future generation his fellow soldiers had dedicated all their fucking hearts to.

And why did it take him having his own child to realize just that?

Levi and Hange's child gets bullied and the two contemplate their parenting styles.

Written for Levihan Week 2021, Day 4: Childhood.

Link: AO3

Notes:

@levihanweek Day 4: Childhood

I don't know if this is still accepted because it's so late huhu. But I was on a slight hiatus for a while I was in the US since I don't see my family there often.

I'm in the Philippines again so I think I'll have an easier time going back into writing regularly.

Children were unreasonabe little shits and his own son was no exception. In fact, his experience with his own son might have been the sole reason Levi held on so tightly to that belief in the first place.

“Daddy, can we buy the cereal?”

“No.” The response was automatic and it had been automatic since the kid started asking for that damn cereal two weeks ago. During my time we didn’t even have cereal. Levi opened his mouth to say it.

“Why don’t you give it?” Hange spoke up first. Her own contribution had seemed to come out of nowhere especially since she had been neck deep in some research papers until a while ago.

Most days, she would have left by the time they had that conversation and Levi was in no mood to fill her in on it. He turned to his son. “Would you even finish it?”

Luke’s were trained expectantly at Levi, his eyes wide. He looked innocent, confused.

If Levi stared for any longer, he might just buy it. He averted his gaze, and snuck a glance at Hange “He doesn’t even eat it.” He kept it to a soft whisper, too soft that he could never be too sure of whether or not she got the message.

Hange put the papers down on the table then she flashed her son a smile usually saved for insufferable diplomats. “Luke, if we bought you the cereal would you eat it?”

Luke nodded quickly.

Lies. It was a fucking lie. Levi had bought him the cereal the first few times the young boy asked. Every single damn time though, Levi had ended up finishing the box. And he was sick of cereal. So sick that when he closed his eyes and willed himself to think of it, he recalled everything from the grainy texture and overly sweet twinge so vividly, he practically tasted it in his own saliva.

“I’ll buy some on the way home,” Hange said. “The name is ‘Pops’ right?”

It was difficult to protest when it was Hange suggesting. Levi nodded.

“What about now?” Luke said. “I wanna bring it to school.”

Levi and Hange exchanged glances. “Why?” he asked.

Luke was side-eyeing something. A closer look only confirmed, Luke may have been too deep in thought to have fixated on anything in particular. Finding the right words, maybe? “Lunch.”

“Is there anything wrong with the lunch I packed you?” Levi asked. There shouldn’t have been anything wrong with the packed lunch. Levi always made sure of it.

Or maybe Levi was just deluding himself into thinking he was a good cook. Luke kept mum and stared down at his food, only ringing alarm bells inside Levi.

Levi was suddenly self conscious of the neatly packed lunch box he made every morning. Like all weekday mornings, it was lined up on the counter right next to Hange’s own lunchbox. He glanced quickly at it, and he was tempted to go the extra mile and reorganize it. “Luke is there anything wrong?”

Luke shook his head. He was starting to look a little flustered.

Everyone seemed to be bearing the weight of the tension and awkwardness since that question was raised. They were all very sluggish. For Levi, there was more than enough time to take a peek at the lunch box.

The sandwich was packed, the crackers were nearly lined up just next to them and there was a box of orange juice snug on the corner of the lunch box. Nothing was supposedly wrong with it. Still, it was worth a try. “You want anything packed differently?” Levi asked.

Luke nodded but he didn’t say anything after. As if he had expected Levi to read his mind.

Levi wasn’t a mind reader. One quick look at Hange and Levi concluded, Hange wasn’t a mind reader either. “What do you want packed differently?”

Luke shook his head then looked down at his food. There was a slight tremble in his lips.

Was he about to cry? Before Levi even noticed it, he had raised his voice, spoke more quickly. “If you don’t tell me, we won’t be able to fix it.”

Hange was also strangely still. She held her spoon a few inches above her plate and she could have been calculating something. That was the face Hange would make in the lab, when running through an experiment for the third team. That face was a prelude to long speeches on hypotheses and conclusions.

Do we have the time for a long speech? Levi noted the time on the mantel and Hange’s slow movements that morning. “Hange, you might be late for work.”

“Right…” Hange dropped her spoon and stood up slowly and hesitantly. Then when she got to her feet, she put on her usual confident and busybody demeanor. “I’ll make sure to buy that cereal on the way back. If you really want that for lunch, I see no reason to say no.” ”

It turned out though, it had been nothing more than a facade. Levi had followed her out to lock the door and exchange goodbyes like every other day. Then, Hange’s true thoughts came out as a whisper. “Can you stay after school for just a bit? Just see what happens after they drop him off?”

“Why?”

Hange hummed, chin raised and nose turned up. “Something doesn’t seem right.”

He didn’t need Hange to point it out for him. For a while as they packed up, Levi had already been pondering how long he could stay in the schoolyard before one of the teachers saw him home. “You didn’t have to tell me twice.”

Hange’s expression relaxed. She said a soft goodbye. Then her mind and her murmurs to herself were suddenly elsewhere.

She was thinking about work again. Like every other day before, During those times, Levi was reminded, keeping their son safe was his responsibility until Hange got home from work.

***

By some rule that didn’t seem to make any sense, the parents weren’t allowed to stay during school hours. Most days, he didn’t really mind but the last thing he had prepared himself for was a scolding, not from the teacher, but his own son.

“Daddy go home!” Luke had his back to his classroom and it didn’t look like he’d be turning his back on Levi until the latter was long gone.

“Luke, I need to talk to the teachers. Then I’ll go home.”

“Don’t talk to the teachers!” Luke said. He was starting to seem more and more agitated.

What the hell? What type of parent told their kid not to talk to their teachers? Levi was more determined to stay behind. “I just want to see--”

“Don’t talk to my friends!”

Something inside Levi broke at that moment. He had raised that kid and ninety-nine percent of the time, he was a peace loving kid. The way Luke had raised his voice at him, had him almost shaken. The young boy’s face had crumpled into a pout and it only made the cracking inside Levi all the more painful.

Then some defensive instinct inside Levi took over. He narrowed his eyes and observed more closely, he could have sworn he saw fear in those young boys' eyes.

“Go home daddy.” Luke said, more softly that time. Whatever gentleness though quickly assuaged when he ran towards Levi only to push him away.

“Okay. I’ll go home,” Levi backed away slowly at first. “I’ll pick you up at two okay?”

Luke didn’t reply. He didn’t even spare a wave before Levi turned his back on him. Hange was most likely right, his gut instinct might just be right too.

Something about Luke’s sudden change in demeanor just wasn’t natural. Despite Luke’s protests, Levi didn’t go home that morning.

***

Children can be fucking assholes.

They were fucking assholes, too much of a bunch of assholes that Levi wondered what future generation his fellow soldiers had dedicated all their fucking hearts to many years ago.

Levi had concealed himself under the shade of one of the trees just outside the school yard. His fighting instinct was still strong and he didn’t find it even a little stifling to completely freeze right under the tree. At the same time, he was completely confident that as long as he didn’t move, nobody would see him.

They were too far away anyway and the group of children seemed to be more occupied in what was looking to be utter assholery.

“Your lunch looks like poop!” Who the hell compares meals to human waste?

That was the least of his worries though. The boy that had fallen to the ground was Luke. The lunch that lay scattered on the grass was the one Levi had so carefully put together that morning.

Wasted food, wasted food he had worked on himself and the scene of his own son sprawled on the ground seeming defenseless just pushed Levi to the point of just almost feral. He wasn’t a soldier anymore and he hadn’t been in years. At that point in time, he even identified more as a father than a soldier. An attempt remain hidden forgotten, Levi rushed to the schoolyard.

“What’s going on here? Why are you wasting food?” Levi kept his tone almost polite. His own actions may have betrayed it though. Levi pushed himself to the front, pushing a little less gently when he recognized the kid who had thrown Luke’s food to the ground.

That had been enough to leave a look of horror in all of the kids' faces. Levi bent over, cleaned up the lunchbox and helped his son up. He flashed the boys a stare, and he hoped that would have been enough to poke daggers into them. “Don’t do that again,” he said firmly.

Paternal instinct had Levi’s mind racing. When he was thinking quickly, his body tended to act much faster. Even when he wasn’t even aware of it, Levi had pulled his son up by the arm.

And everything else happened quickly after that.

It was only when he had closed the door behind him, when his son had succeeded in wriggling out of his grasp, did Levi make sense of circumstances. The day wasn’t even over and he had dragged his son home.

“Daddy what were you doing there?” The look of horror was still there, his cheeks were tinged a little red.

“They weren’t treating you right,” Levi said matter-of-factly. He was starting to doubt himself though. Had that been the right thing to do?

Luke didn’t seem too happy at whatever Levi had done anyway. The young boy padded into his bedroom, slammed the door and like many other days, Levi was left alone in the kitchen, a ruined lunchbox on hand. He opened it and started to salvage.

The food was still edible and they didn't look too bad. The young starving boy who grew up in the underground city would have been happy to have received that. In contrast, Luke grew up in a comfortable home, with an easy three meals never wanting for anything. And that was Luke’s lunch and it would never be the young Levi’s.

He started to contemplate the small things. He inspected the sandwich, caked with a little soil. He then held the apple slices between his two fingers. All stained with dirt.

When he ran the container over running water, the dirt eventually disappeared and Levi deemed that edible for lunch, for his lunch at least. He wouldn’t serve that to his son. He pulled ingredients out of the cupboards, ingredients for a quick sandwich, eggs, mayonnaise and cheese.

It was a little past one and there was no time for anything fancier. Luke didn’t have lunch and was probably starving and Levi was having a harder time as well shaking that ache in his stomach. He went through the motions a little faster, turned on the toaster in advance.

In those in betweens, Levi let his mind wander. The father inside him then started to ask more questions.

How was he going to talk to Luke about it?

***

Levi had made two sandwiches for a party of three. Unexpectedly, Hange arrived from work early because of some ‘strange phone call’ from the school about ‘their son going missing.’

“And it looks like, you're the strange short man who abducted our son,” Hange said playfully in between bites of an egg salad sandwich.

Levi let his own sandwich sit, or at least his sorry excuse of a sandwich. The egg salad he hurriedly made had only been enough for two people. Thus, his own share had been barely even enough to cover even one side of the sandwich.

That was the least of his worries. He turned to Luke. “Would you’ve rather stayed in school?” he asked.

Luke didn’t answer. He was biting at his egg sandwich much faster. The loud chewing could have been a hint at the least that Luke refused to speak.

“I can get off of work early. Later, we could go to the supermarket and get your cereal later” Hange suggested, an attempt at some light conversation maybe. “You wanted to bring it for lunch tomorrow right?”

Luke shook his head quickly and continued to chew the sandwich.

Levi thought back to the scattered lunch box, the muddied contents. He couldn’t blame the kid. But how to tell Hange? “Luke couldn’t have lunch,” Levi said.

Hange’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? Did school get busy?”

“It’s not that… “ Levi was feeling for the words slowly and carefully. He turned to Luke who was digging through the sandwich much much faster. “It’s---”

Luke’s hands slammed on the table. “Nothing!” he screamed, in a tone that was definitely not nothing.

“Luke, are you okay?” Hange asked. “Did something happen?”

“Daddy came to school today!”

“But you like daddy right?” Hange raised one eyebrow.

Luke shook his head. “No! No parents allowed in school.”

Levi stared down at his plate. The sandwich was starting to look less and less appetizing. What was that heavy feeling? Guilt? What else was he supposed to do? Stay still while they pushed his son to the ground and spilled his lunch onto the grass? “Luke, no one was supposed to be pushing you to the ground either. Of course I’d jump to your rescue.”

“I don’t need help.”

“You didn’t look like you were fighting back,” Levi argued. "You could have gotten hurt."

Luke stared up at Levi, a flash of indignance on his face. And for a few moments, the kitchen was silent, the air was heavy.

Hange cleared her throat. “Luke… Why don’t you fight back?” Something about her voice was too rehearsed.

“He knows how to fight," Luke answered hesitantly. For assurance maybe? He didn’t believe it as confidently though.

Hange hummed. “What makes you say that?”

"He learned to fight."

"Who taught him?" Hange asked.

“His daddy and mommy.”

“Really? How?”

“They’re soldiers.”

***

It took more effort after that to coax the rest of the information from Luke.

It came in between banters, in between fights, hurling of unintended insults and it ended with some half baked conclusion from Levi that the military police never really shook off the irrational pride that came with working so close to the king but doing close to no actual combat.

And how the hell did a next generation kid pick up that same abrasive attitude and the bare minimum of fighting skills.

Hange received her own personalized message from the whole ordeal. A message which Levi would rather Hange never entertained. “Did we do something wrong?” She broke the dim silence with the awkward question.

It was late in the evening, Luke had retired to bed and Hange and Levi had deliberately selected a corner of the room, farthest from Luke’s room. Even if it meant having to make themselves comfortable on the floor with some Indian sit.

Levi shrugged. “According to Luke… We did… By not being part of the military police.” He laced his tone with sarcasm, enough to lighten up the mood. The sliver of a smile on Hange’s face was enough indication that it worked just a bit.

Luke’s intention hadn’t been to hurt definitely. Levi conceded, maybe it had been his fault for forcing it out of the young boy.

“But we do know how to fight right? I mean, we’ve always had more experience than the military police officers,” Hange said.

“Don’t sell yourself short. You fight better than all military police officers, Commander Hange Zoe,” Levi said.

“If I fight better than all military police officers then humanity’s strongest, Captain Levi fights better than all the soldiers right?”

Captain and Commander. Very nostalgic epithets.

It had been years since they even used those epithet. Most people in the office called Hange by her first name while Levi was convinced most people called him Levi anyway. Organizing paperwork, expediting processes, executing trades, setting up meetings for the Queen and just knowing the ins and outs of executive level bureaucracy, Hange’s job was indispensable but painfully thankless. Levi's own job as a homemaker which had been raising a child, while his partner worked had also been painfully thankless.

It wasn't like their jobs as captain and commander of the survey corps had been any more thankful during times of war. Just the thought of fighting was strangely intimate but the stress and the adrenaline rush that came with war, the pain of an injury and the very close brushes with death were not anything to be proud of.

After being dissed by their own child though, Levi was uncharacteristically self conscious. A quick onceover at Hange and he was sure she was thinking the same thing. "Maybe that's what we did wrong?"

"What?" The look of confusion on Hange's face was enough of a reminder.

Levi's own reflection had been silent. "Do you think I coddle Luke too much?"

Hange didn't respond immediately but Levi hadn't been in a hurry either to goad whatever answer out of her. "To be honest...I thought about it…" she huffed. "Okay, I wouldn't use the word coddle but don't you think it's just a little bit strange that our child is growing up in a completely different world from what we did."

Was it wrong? Levi's mind was finding ways to justify it.

Hange continued. "Of course we did things wrong we weren't perfect parents but it just feels weird… We raised a child who can't fight? A child who probably doesn't even know the realities of war.” She flailed her hands up in emphasis. “If we drop him off in some forest, he might just die...And now he's being bullied by some kid of retired soldiers. Should we have raised him a little stricter? Taught him to fight?" A tremor shook in her tone but when she looked up, she was smiling. More specifically, forcing a grin.

Hange always found a way to blame herself, an annoying habit since even back when they were soldiers.

A very annoying habit. Levi sighed. "I was the one who raised that kid. If anyone should be taking shit for not teaching that kid anything about standing up for themselves. It should be me."

Hange sighed then shrugged. "Well, it happened. So what now Papa Ackerman?"

Hange must have acknowledged it, the countless hours that Levi had put into raising the child. Between both of them, Levi should have known more about how to approach the young boy and just the thought of putting Luke through an inkling of that same training he went through had his stomach turning.

Admittedly, if Levi had encountered those bullies at Luke's age, or maybe even younger, he would have been more than capable of beating the shit out of those bullies. But, would he even be proud if he found Luke beating the shit out of those kids?

"We talk to the teachers," Levi answered.

"You don't think we should teach him how to defend himself?"

Levi shook his head. "Times have changed. Even if he doesn’t need to, I wouldn’t.” He met Hange's eyes. “I don't want to teach people how to solve things with violence."

Hange cocked her head to one side. “Why not?” Her mouth twisted into an expression of genuine curiosity.

Levi was terribly curious too. Fighting wasn’t one thing he would have wanted to think back to anyway. He didn’t see himself in Luke, or at first glance he didn’t. In the darkness, he gave himself some leeway, some space to think deeply about it and he started to realize, he couldn’t really avoid seeing himself in his son.

The glaring difference between himself and his own son had been circumstances. Luke didn’t have to learn how to fight. The age of war was over. No one was constantly in any immediate danger.

"Maybe you're better off teaching him what you know.” Levi sighed. If I could get away with not teaching my son how to fight, then I’d rather not.”

***

Diplomacy and maybe talking could have worked. That is, if they were talking to anyone else.

"We could launch an investigation on this…" The teacher side-eyed nothing in particular.

"Just now?" Hange raised one eyebrow. A quick estimation and a detailed recall of Luke’s change in demeanor put the estimate at two weeks ago. How did no one notice it?

The teacher nodded. "But it might take some time.” She leaned slightly forward. “I hope you understand… it's not easy to approach cases like this.”

“I saw it with my own eyes,” Levi said.

The teacher didn't prod. She didn't put much weight in Levi's assertion either. She raised her hands up in defense. "Give us time."

Levi gripped the edge of his seat in some attempt to alleviate tension. It had taken a little more time to get his bearings so he opted not to say anything just yet.

Hange straightened up on her seat. "How much time?"

At least it was Hange who was asking, Levi was sure he couldn’t have said it any more amiably.

The teacher’s responses weren’t making it any easier. “A few weeks?”

A few weeks. That was at least ten lunch meals. Or even more than that. When Levi fathomed the scale of it, he was also considering the wasted meals in retrospect. How often was Luke coming home with an empty stomach? “Really? A few weeks? You can’t implement something, monitor our son….”

“You have to understand, it’s not that easy to investigate a bullying problem. The line between rough play and actual bullying is not very clear. We don’t want to be accusing any kids either.”

Hange bit her lip and looked away. Levi couldn’t even make a good conjecture of what she would have wanted to say. One thing was for sure, his fists were shaking, or maybe it was the leg underneath.

“So that means you aren't doing anything?" Levi confirmed.

The teacher flashed him an incredulous look and Levi was starting to confirm, it came out more as a challenge. Well, he didn't care too much, if challenging the teacher made everything happen faster.

"We're doing what we can," the teacher said.

"I've heard that spiel already," Levi said. He needed a breath of fresh air. If Hange wanted to talk anymore, if the teacher wanted to talk. It was their prerogative. "Thank you for your time," he added coldly, not bothering to look back.

Hange didn't leave immediately. She probably had a lot more to say, and maybe those were the same things running through Levi's head. Like always, she had a more open minded and more pragmatic way of navigating such a conversation.

Something Levi would probably never learn how to do. Hange would probably take her time, and even if he did lose her in the school, he knew his way home like the back of his hand anyway.

He allowed himself some free rein, wandering through the hallways while taking careful deep breaths. He took the long way to Luke’s classroom, subtly taking a peek then allowing himself enough of a view to search for his son among the students behind the desks.

It was easy to pick out the dark hair that peeked out from among the other attentive faces. Luke’s head was down. He was focused on a book maybe, or maybe he was just particularly self conscious of everything at once.

Levi didn’t have the view to tell, nor the time. The teacher eventually looked to her side, then a few young faces followed. Levi pressed himself against the wall. For sure he was out of site.

Just to make sure, Levi walked on ahead, he then turned the corner of the school, a familiar voice echoed form the other side of one of the hollow walls.

Kids these days are too spoiled if you ask me..

We grew up during a war… And these kids are crying over a few fights?

And the parents can be pretty entitled

Luke Zoe’s parents… I think those are former soldiers… You’d think they’d know better about spoiling their son.

Maybe the glory of war got into their heads or something. Suddenly they want their kids to have an easy life.

Yes, Levi agreed, he wanted his kid to have an easy life. He conceded to that.

Actually, not conceded. He wholeheartedly agreed with it. The essentials though of that conversation, the fundamental beliefs that carried it were just infuriatingly wrong.

Levi didn’t allow himself to contemplate and maybe he just didn’t have the energy for it. He opted not to wait for Hange, he slipped quickly out of the hallway and out onto the streets.

He took the long way home and part of him was hoping he got lost. He was in no mood after all to discuss ‘a spoiled generation’ with a teacher who grew up during a time of war.

He might just end up fighting back.

***

He didn’t have to teach his son how to use a knife. Still, Levi considered it enough times to sneak a few glances at the knife holder a foot away from the sink.

The first weapon Kenny had ever taught him to use was a knife. But knives hurt, knives kill.

The only reason Levi was teaching his son how to fight back was to prevent any more wasted lunches, to prevent bruises for piling up on his ass to prevent any more scrapes from appearing on the palms of his hand.

"When they push you like this… what do you do?" Levi stretched out his arms in front of him, positioning himself to push.

Luke was a quick learner He gripped Levi's hands and the grip was surprisingly hard. Levi's wrists ached and he was suddenly hyperaware of the nails digging into him.

Levi bit his lip, he forced an outward flinch just to show his son it was working. Then the leg movements followed. Luke was still much smaller than Levi. The latter though had done it too many times during bar fights to tell, Luke had picked it up to a T.

Lock your knee to the back of their leg.

"Then push!"

Levi teetered and he was sure he still had the reflexes to jump away. Still, he wanted to give his son that confidence.

He fell to the floor, catching his light weight with the palms of his hands. "There. Okay? When they try to punch or push, you pull them towards you." Levi mimed the movement with his hands. "Then trip them from behind."

Luke nodded obediently.

"Okay…" Levi stood up. "Now let's try it again. Much faster this time."

***

Levi didn't have to try too hard to teach his son.

Luke had the natural agility and quick wittedness. With the right guidance, he was a force to be reckoned with, especially when facing a group of bullies.

Be it two bullies, three. Regardless of whether or not he was outnumbered, Luke might just make it work.

Maybe fighting skills ran in the family. No, it definitely ran in the family. Luke had natural skill that could have made him indispensable in the survey corps many years ago. WIth the right training and the right guidance, he managed to pick up the same fighting instinct Levi was all too familiar with.

Was it the same Ackerman gene? Or was it just natural talent. Levi entertained that as nothing more than a passing thought. After all, no one needed the Ackerman’s anymore since the war was over, the titan curse completely obsolete.

Soon, the Ackerman abilities would be too.

It was a slow process, and maybe it did start with his sons own stint against the bullies.

Levi found himself sneaking through the bushes near the school grounds around lunch time. The branches pricked, the leaves tickled and the smell of green lingered in his nose and he was already planning the warm bath as soon as he got home.

The situation he had put himself in, reminded him too easily of the war. Laughably, the situation he was roped into was much much milder.

He wasn't there to stand by while his team took down titans. He was just there to stand by and jump in just in case things got too heated for Luke.

Luke had proven self-sufficient in practice. But could he easily apply it?

Levi was watching the developments like a hawk, his heart beating in time to some rustle in the leaves, his hand digging into the branches right next to him. He didn't even notice he was holding his breath until the first body slammed onto the dirt with a loud thump.

Levi let it out with a loud huff then he closed his eyes, recounting the events of just a few seconds ago.

Grip hard, kick hard enough behind him to buckle his knees.

One down.

Push against him, use your weight against him. If you push hard enough, twist in this direction. He'll flip.

Two down.

With a swift strike to his---

"Stop!"

Levi’s eyes widened then they darted back and forth between the boys on the floor then the naturally, the only one left standing.

Luke dropped his hands to the side. Then everyone was silent, the two boys still recovering, one of them giving his own tailbone a consoling rub.

"Boys! What are you doing here?"

With the sound of that voice, Levi’s blood ran cold. By some stroke of bad luck, a teacher had seen them fighting.

"Luke? What were you doing here?" And by a more annoying stroke of bad luck, circumstances made Luke out to be the bully.

***

"It's very admirable that you're sticking with your son through thick and thin," the principal said, a wide smile plastered on her face.

Having dealt with military police bullshit for a good chunk of his life, Levi was fairly adept at sniffing out bullshit. Consequently, he wasn't so good at accepting such a fake compliment.

"What can we say? He's our son," Hange said, glaringly uncomfortable with the turn of events. She had some excuse to seem tense. After all, she rushed there from her office just a few minute ago.

"They sustained a few bruises, on the tailbone, a few scrapes on the knee which required some tending and one of the boys has a sprained ankle." She listed them out like a sprained ankle was a mortal wound. "I'm sure any settlements can be discussed internally… but if you need any help?"

Hange shook her head. "No thank you. I'll make a few calls, see what I can offer."

But they're not gonna do anything about Luke's mental state and his fucked up lunch meals huh? Levi looked to Hange, attempted to send a semblance of that message with his glare.

The principal cleared her throat. "Have you considered sending your child to a specialist?"

"A specialist?" Hänge asked, her voice was a little higher pitched. She furrowed her brow.

The principal nodded. "Yes, a specialist in a correctional facility, someone who could work with your son. The teachers… they saw your son fight. In this day and age, it’s quite alarming to see...

Levi looked down. His eyes landed on his shaking hands. In some attempt to pacify them, he balled them into fists.

"If he proves to be a danger to students…."

"He won't." Levi answered, voice clipped. If he spoke for any longer, he just might end up shouting.

"It's best to nip this in the bud while it's early."

"I said, he isn't going to do that. He's a nice kid."

"We get that from parents a lot but I firmly believe in some prophylactic work… especially when the first few signs…"

First few signs? What first few signs? The other kids were the assholes here. They started it.

They started it?

That was the argument of a six year old. Something, he constantly scolded Luke over for years.

On the one hand, Hange wasn’t letting any of her emotions out as if she was still trying to process it herself. "May I ask… what are these signs of Luke's aggression?"

The principal raised her eyebrow. "The way he was caught fighting the other students. He moved like a trained fighter. Isn’t it alarming that your son has been trained to fight like that, to be aggressive like that? We don't want this type of aggression here." She said those last words, matter-of-factly, firmly, with some finality.

Levi sensed self righteousness. Self righteousness was fairly bearable in small amounts. He was dealing with someone though with a little too much of that and seemingly little inclination of reflecting and getting to the bottom of it. Something inside of him snapped. "If you really don't want any aggression then watch the other fucking kids. My son is not going through some correctional facility because you as a principal can't do your fucking job keeping the students safe."

"Excuse me?"

"Those kids deserved to be body slammed into the floor. My son has been dealing with their bullshit for weeks."

"How certain---"

"Sure enough. My son doesn't fucking lie."

"That's a bold statement right there."

"You don't know my son better than I do so stop pretending." Levi wouldn't be giving her a chance to speak. Hange could have been glaring daggers at him but he was on some strange high, talking back at the old lady who had been rubbing him off since a while ago.

She paused for a moment and averted her gaze, a refreshing sign for Levi. "Okay then, but if you'd allow me to suggest---"

"Don't tell us how to raise our son."

Before he even noticed it, one hand was pushing him back on the chair.

"Please. Go on," Hange said, not to Levi but to the shaken teacher in front of him.

It had taken her a few more seconds to gather herself. Hange had taken a more comfortable grip of Levi by the wrist, under the table, out of view. She held him with enough firmness to control him but enough gentleness to calm him.

Whatever she says, grin and bear it. Work with it. If Hange had been meaning to say anything, that might have been it.

He wasn't going to spare her a kind smile though.

The principal cleared her throat. "Have you considered that you're spoiling your kid just a little too much?"

When the heat had dissipated, when the tension loosened, Levi found he conceded

To some extent. To some very small extent.

"If you compare what I grew up with to what Luke's growing up with. Maybe he is spoiled," Levi admitted. He kept his voice soft enough not to echo in the hallways, his footsteps slow enough that he didn’t need to think too much about walking.

"No one should ever have to grow up like you did," Hange answered with a more serious tone. A few seconds later, she turned to him with a more relaxed smile. "Do you really think he's spoiled?"

"If you consider the fact that if we dropped him in some military training, he probably wouldn't survive..."

"In this day and age, not everyone will be mandated to join the military anyway," Hange said. "So is it really necessary for Luke to have had to learn how to fight?"

"As much as possible, I wouldn't have taught it to him. If children weren't such assholes."

"And I think we raised him fine. In fact, I'm proud of that kid."

Proud of Luke? For what? Levi asked that question silently but he wasn't looking for answers, he was looking for specifics. He was proud of that kid for a lot of reasons.

Some of the reasons, he didn't really pick them out until they were bumbling towards him.

In between classes, Luke met them on the hallway, a large box wedged awkwardly on his side and Luke lost his balance a few times as he carried it.

As soon as Luke was only inches away, Levi took stock of it. A first aid kit?

"I have bandaids here. Do you know where we can buy medicine?" Luke asked.

"For what?"

"For their booboos."

Levi gave Luke a onceover. "You don't have any."

Luke shook his head. He turned towards the empty schoolyard then to the direction of the clinic. "Their booboos." It quickly became clear who they were talking about.

"Luke, why would you want to give them some?"

"Is that not allowed?" Luke blinked at him in confusion. It was as if that question was the most natural answer in the world. The most correct answer.

Levi started to realize, maybe he didn't know the correct answer either. He bent down and put one hand on Luke's head.. "I'll help you prepare one at home and we'll talk to their parents okay?"

Luke nodded. His lips curled into a wild smile. "I'll see what else I have in the cubby hole."

"He's too kind," Hange commented as soon as they were out of earshot.

"That's the kid we raised," Levi said. "You're proud of that?"

"To be honest, yes. We all aspire to be that kind." She gave Levi a knowing but very playful look. "Maybe he got it from you?"

"Me?" Levi crossed his arms and pulled away. Whatever look he had on his face was enough to have Hange chuckling.

"Maybe kindness runs in your family."

Levi's thoughts flew to Kenny. Kenny? Then he thought back to his own mother. She was enough of a looming thought that Levi was entertaining the kindness gene theory of Hange as some potentially acceptable truth.

"It runs on yours too then," Levi said.

There was a pregnant silence between them. Hange's face had softened into some half smile as she stared down at floor, seeming to be deep in reflection.

It was familiar and the more Levi stared, the more clearly he understood. That was the same exact way they stared at every lost comrade.

"If that's true, then maybe Luke got it from us? Maybe if we grew up in a better world, the same world Luke was growing up in, we would have been much kinder," Hänge said.

"If we had the childhood?" Levi added.

Hange looked at him pointedly. "If you didn't have to fight in the streets, I'm confident you would have grown up just like Luke."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're a good guy Levi. Despite your kill count, the way you talked to the towns people, the way you lectured the soldiers back then... I mean, you weren't the nicest guy but the kindness... the goodness, it just felt naturally there?"

It was a hilarious prospect to consider and Levi had to look away to conceal whatever playful expression took over then. "Well the same goes for you then. Not too many leaders would have risked everything to stop a genocide."

A subtle pink stained the apple of Hange's cheeks, subtle enough that Levi could have sworn a second later that it was never there to begin with.

Levi dropped his shoulders and leaned on the wall. "I've always known Luke was a good kid. It could have been from us, or it could just really be how that kid is. All I know is I wanna nurture it and it feels like the best way is to just give him the childhood I never had.”

#lhweek2021 #levihan #levihan fanfiction #levihanweek

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imagine-organization-xiii · 3 years

Note

If i may ask; can i please have how the org 13 members act around their crush? Thank you in advance ❤️

Masterlist - Incorrect Organization XIII - Tip Jar!

You might also like: when they realize they’re in love with s/o

This was a long-ish one that’s been sitting in the back of my drafts forever lmao - I hope you all enjoy, especially since it’s a bit of long read!

Special thanks to Miss Silverspoon, PhantomMuze, and Sam for helping with Luxord, Saix, and Vexen. Such babes.

Xemnas - Least likely to actually show it. I mean, there will be signs, but it won’t be blatant that he’s acting a certain way because he’s attracted to you. There might be some favoritism (giving you better missions, not scolding you when something goes wrong, looking the other way in certain situations.)

Overall, it’s going to be subtle. You definitely won’t pick up anything weird, but the other org members might. Saix will definitely be the one to come up to you, grab you by the shoulders and give you a good shake. “Please, he’s driving the rest of us crazy.” And you’re like “what the hell???” Saix: “Xemnas has been giving you the best missions and staring at you for five minute intervals. In his language, that means he’s practically a wanton hussy.”

Xigbar - Not ashamed in the slightest. He won’t even act any different. He finds you attractive, you find him attractive (Xigbar: “Everyone finds me attractive, obviously.”) So why bother wasting time? He doesn’t really call it a crush, though. He thinks crushes are for children and he’s a man, god damn it, he doesn’t have crushes.

An unintentional sap. Before he plucks up the courage to say something to you - and it takes him longer than he will ever admit - he finds himself going soft for you. Thinks you’re pretty, instead of hot; wants to hold your hand instead of slam you against the wall. It’s a bit infuriating to him at first, but also maybe kind of worth it.

Xaldin - Ohhhh, man. He’s been in love before; he’s been hurt before. So he is ready to rein in that shit immediately. But it’s so difficult because he likes you so much and you’re so awesome. He’ll decide to give it a chance eventually, but it will take some time. He would definitely be content with just being friends, though, because he really doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have.

He makes sure to always be there for you. Always helps you when you need it. A gentleman in the ways that matter and a feisty, flirtatious beast in the ways that don’t. The type of guy to flirt by making sure that he takes his shirt off after a sweaty workout and casually flexes/stretches when he knows you’re watching but also makes sure you’re hydrated and wrapping your fists correctly when you spar.

Vexen - You’ll probably know about his crush before he does. He’s so absorbed in whatever his task is - his experiments, his theories, etc. - that he doesn’t even notice that his eyes linger on you and his posture automatically straightens when you walk into the lab. He’ll instinctively turn his body in your direction so that you’re almost always in his line of sight.

Doesn’t yell at you for walking into his lab when he’s obviously busy. Actually asks you for your input, likes talking to you and discussing his theories with you. You’re smart, but some of his experiments are beyond you, and he doesn’t mind explaining in simpler terms when you ask questions. It blows Zexion’s mind because he has a running tab on the different ways that Vexen throws people out of his lab and he’s never done it to you.

Lexaeus - not much for flirting. He’s come to terms with the fact that he likes you, but you’ve both known each other long enough that you know him, so there’s no way that he can pretend to act a certain way because you would know that something wasn’t right. It’s very difficult to tell that he has a crush on you - there’s no blushing, no flirting, no favoritism. He’s just his normal self.

When you finally figure it out, you realize that he showed his crush in subtle ways instead - offering a hand to pull you up after sparring, holding open a door for you, and apparently glaring at people who come up to flirt with you when he accompanies you to the market for groceries.

Zexion - “IT’S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, GO AWAY.” This emo little bastard doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions. He lost his heart at a really bad time, when he was still growing into himself, learning balance between anger, frustration, patience, euphoria, etc. so he’s very unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the idea that he likes you.

There may be a few gentle shoves and punches in the shoulder. He has so many feelings and has no way to put them into the world other than violence - because that’s really all he knows nowadays. But it gets better!!! You learn together.

Saix - Honestly, God help you if Saix gets a crush on you because he really doesn’t make it easy. If anything, he’ll be making your life difficult. He overcompensates about not giving you any special treatment, giving you harder and more difficult tasks/missions, or your workload might remain the same but his expectations are almost impossibly high. He’s not only trying to prove himself to the others; he’s trying to prove to himself that he doesn’t care.

He’s more difficult to be around tbh, and yeah, he’ll definitely seek you out which is a pain in the ass when you’re trying to avoid him. You’ll have to be the one to barge into his office, slam open the door, and yell at him that he’s being an asshole. He’ll probably back off a bit, but.... he’s really only rough on you because he knows you’re capable of more.

Axel - Axel falls in love unapologetically. He’s head over heels almost immediately and not even ashamed of his crush on you. Flirting becomes almost a part of your friendship because he’s just that comfortable with you. His mood is already so bright when he’s around you, but now it’s like the sun and you can’t help but meet his smile with your own grin.

But it gets to be kind of weird on his end because... you don’t realize that he’s being serious when he flirts? So many pick up lines. So many compliments. But you’re just like “oh that same old Axel haha,” and he’s left banging his head against the wall because he likes you so much but you’re so oblivious.

Demyx - He won’t even notice that he has a crush on you tbh. It will take him forever to notice. He knows he’s attracted to you, but he’s attracted to a lot of people so he didn’t think that it would be any different! A crush?? In this economy??? But he’s grateful, you know? Because there really couldn’t be a better person for him to have a crush on - like he could have a crush on Xemnas, of all people, and that would just be disastrous.

Doesn’t act differently until he realizes he has a crush. When he does realize, he’ll get nervous and clumsy. Shouting from across the hall, “HEY LET ME GET THE DOOR FOR YOU” and runs, trips, and knocks out a tooth. Just completely ridiculous stuff. You kind of notice that he’s acting strange, but it’s just Demyx, and it will probably take Vexen going up to you and saying “please put him out of his misery before he accidentally kills himself trying to flirt with you”

Luxord - Luxord is so charming, more charming than he usually is. He always has this endearing aura around him, and man, he turns it up when he tries to flirt with you. A gift giver - small things, a dessert you might like, a flower he stole from Marluxia’s garden, lunch when you’re busy, etc. Very aware of how to approach you; also knows where to stop before he goes too far. Knows how to read you pretty well in that respect.

Loves the romance that comes with having a crush because there’s so much raw potential. Feelings are confusing, they take a while to grow, but the idea that something amazing can be coming in the future is a great feeling to him. Great potential hangout ideas that don’t necessarily have to be dates, but they help you both metaphorically test the waters about what a real relationship could be.

Marluxia - arguably the most romantic out of everyone. Surprisingly?? Also the most sensible. Of the mind that, you know, if you like someone then do something about it. He has a crush on you? Why not just give it a shot, then? He’ll bring you flowers! Accompany you when you go somewhere! Take you for garden walks! Take you out to dinner!

Somewhere along the line it just becomes a relationship and not just a crush and he’s like, yeah I did this. When everyone’s like “omg how did you get her to like you back” he’s just like “because I did something about it unlike all of you idiots.”

Larxene - Listen. Listen. Larxene is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need someone else in her life to make her feel loved and powerful but damn, you’re so awesome and she has the biggest crush on you even though all of her instincts say that she’s being dumb. Will ask you to spar with her as an excuse to get close to you and don’t be surprised if she’s extra harsh when sparring - she definitely won’t be pulling her punches.

When you get closer, she’ll open up to you in a way that she won’t open up to anyone else, which is a big, obvious flag for you that her feelings may be more than friendship. She doesn’t like talking about herself or her past, so hearing things she’s never told anyone (except maybe Marluxia), makes you feel really great about being her friend.

Roxas - Man, he is such a cute little marshmallow, not shy in general but shy around his crush. He’ll do his hardest not to blush around you, but he does get nervous. So nervous, in fact, that he might make you think he doesn’t like you because he’ll tend to avoid you when he can. He doesn’t want to look stupid in front of you.

This baby feels things deeply, despite the lack of a heart. He always has felt things more deeply than others. Likes physical contact so when he gets over his fears of being around you, he’ll probably end up asking to hold your hand, randomly hugging you, giving high fives, etc.

Xion - Only really falls for people that she’s already friends with, because she knows them and she’s comfortable with them. It’s subtle for her, though. She’ll realize her crush one night and suddenly she can’t even speak to you without blushing, cheeks a bright pink against her pale skin. She’ll stutter, too, and she hates that’s she’s so nervous for no reason because you’re friends!!! And she has no reason to be nervous!!!

She’s also so helpful when she has a crush! Like Demyx, she’s eager to help you with whatever you’re doing, whether that’s mission reports, cooking, cleaning, etc. Unlike Demyx, she actually gets the job done and doesn’t get injured when trying to help. You’re always so grateful and thankful and that just makes her blush even more.

#organization xiii headcanons #kingdom hearts headcanons #organization xiii #kingdom hearts #axel #xigbar #roxas #xion #xemnas #demyx

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theyreonlynoodlesmike · 3 years

Text

Melting Wax, Crawling Vines: Part 11 (Vincent Sinclair x Fem!Reader)

<- Previous Chapter

Warnings: smut, oral, fingering, cum-eating, trauma, blood/gore, hypersexuality as a way to cope my dudes

Word Count: 3846

The smut chapter I promised is finally here

It had been a month and you'd been thinking about it. You knew you shouldn't have. That it did nothing to help you. That going over the events over and over in your mind would only bring back more pain. But, like a wound on the inside of your cheek, you couldn't help but touch it.

You were pouring your cup of coffee, thinking about the blood. The gore. The broken face and his final cry. You thought about what he'd been trying to tell you, what he'd been trying to get at. The wax bodies all over town. He'd mentioned your type, and, for a moment, you wondered if you really were just attracted to crazy. You shook your head. Vincent wasn't crazy. Bo on the other hand. Maybe. But Vincent was lucid. And he still did the thing he did. You bit the inside of your cheek. Okay, maybe your track record wasn't amazing. And maybe if you'd listened to him-

"Shit." You said, feeling the hot coffee touch your hand. Your thoughts had gone elsewhere for too long, to the point where you'd overfilled your cup until the coffee spread across the counter and down onto the floor. You were quick to grab some paper towels to clean up your mess, and Vincent was reaching over to help you. He quickly signed,

"You okay?" And you gave him a nod. It wasn't a lie. Physically, you hadn't been hurt more than a minor shock of the initial burn. Mentally, however? That was another story. You ended up dumping out a little bit of your cup, just so you wouldn't end up spilling it on your way down to the workshop.

You spent all of your time with Vincent. You went down to his workshop with him, carrying your coffee and your breakfast. You were going to spend some time reading, maybe take a nap, and try your best to hold onto your slipping sanity. Vincent, despite his hobby, was a big help. He understood that the whole event was traumatizing, and your hesitance to really leave the safety of the workshop. It was away from the rest of the world, perfectly hidden and the perfect place to recoup yourself. He would let you lay in his bed, reading, sleeping, or even prepping for some more lessons for the others.

But, after you finished eating, you couldn't find it in you to pick up the book you'd left on the side of Vincent's bed. You knew you could try your hand at drawing, as Vincent had offered to let you use any of his notebooks and had given you some of his own lessons. After a moment, you asked for some of his pencils and he was quick to offer you a variety of drawing tools. Charcoal, pencils, pens, markers. You almost wanted to ask if he had crayons. You chose a simple pencil, before you reached for one of his notebooks and began flipping through the pages. Vincent always let you use whatever you wanted. He had plenty of notebooks, plenty of tools. It was rare that he'd ever need all of them, and he always told you that it was all at your disposal.

So, you hadn't expected to find what you did. You knew that Vincent drew you. Hell, you'd posed for some of his drawings. But this was not the usual portraits you found. You flipped further, quickly figuring out that this notebook seemed to have one specific purpose. Part of you wanted to just tuck it away and pretend you never saw anything. And another part of you wanted to tease him ruthlessly for it.

Finally, you decided on the former. You tucked that particular notebook away, looking for a different one for you to begin sketching in. As much as you just wanted to draw whatever came to mind, you found the only thing that came to mind was Vincent.

You and Vincent had kissed and done some light touching, but your original path had been undoubtedly slowed by what happened with your ex. Vincent didn't want to push, you knew. So, the most you'd done was a few light kisses that you'd initiated, and it was always nothing more than something to relieve some of your stress or to bask in the comfort of the early morning. You were aware that Vincent was inexperienced, but it was almost reassuring to see that he did desire you. Even if he planned on keeping it to himself.

You stared at him for a moment. You watched the way his hands moved, how they moved with the utmost precision and certainty. How his movements were both gentle and sure, like a well oiled machine. The muscle you knew he possessed was covered by a sweater that hung off of him, and his long black hair was tied back at his neck. You wished for this morning to return, wished that you'd spent more time running your hands through it. Well, you knew you'd get to play with it when you settled for bed.

You drew him until Vincent was done with his pet project, a lamp for the upstairs bedroom. When Vincent came over to peek at what you'd been drawing, you thought you could see a crinkle in his eye and you watched the way he played with his hands. He was embarrassed, you could tell, and, after a moment, he signed,

"Me?" And you gave him a smile and a nod. He turned away, busying himself by fixing his ponytail. But you knew he was pleased. You smiled to yourself. Even if it wasn't as good as Vincent's, he still liked it. He grabbed the lamp, holding it with one arm. You were quick to say and sign,

"You're going upstairs?" And he gave you a nod. After a moment, he moved it in his arms to comfortably sign,

"You don't have to come." He said, and you bit your lip. You knew that he knew you liked to avoid the House of Wax as much as possible. After everything that happened there, he understood. You frowned. It had once been your favorite place in all of Ambrose. You glanced down the hallway. But you didn't really like being alone in the basement either. You sighed, deciding that you'd rather face your issues than stay alone in the basement.

"It's fine. I'll come." You said, and you pulled on your slippers and one of Vincent's sweaters over your pajamas. You couldn't ignore how Vincent seemed happy, even if he wouldn't say anything. He held out his hand for you, and you took it and gave it a squeeze.

He guided you through the underground tunnels, even if you'd been going through them long enough to know where to go. He walked up the steps, and you absentmindly reached out to touch the faces carved into the walls as Vincent walked in front of you. You were following him like a lost little puppy, your mind elsewhere as you tried not to let memories of what happened the month before flood your mind. Surprisingly, you were able to find a pretty good distraction.

You thought about the images that Vincent had drawn, all the positions he must've imagined. Even if he was inexperienced, he definitely had quite the imagination. As Vincent guided you and you trailed behind him silently, your mind flooding with different images of all the ways Vincent could take you. On your back, one your stomach, on your knees. You tried not to blush as you thought a particular angle that made it clear Vincent had been imagining something slightly more self serving.

It made it so you could completely ignore all the terrible reminders of what you'd done, up until you were in the wax bedroom Vincent had created. You glanced at the bed, immediately imagining Vincent in-between your legs. And then you in-between his . It was almost unfair. Vincent seemed to know about every little dip and curve you had, how he knew that you'd figure out another time, but you had barely seen anything. A couple of flashes here or there, but Vincent was shy. He kept his clothes on even when you did some experimental touching. You bit your lip, just before Vincent signed,

"You okay?"

***

Vincent knew this was a bad idea, but he didn't want to force you to stay in the basement. Any time you came up into the House of Wax usually didn't end well, and his nerves only grew as your silence stretched on.

He watched how you bit your lip, refused to meet his eyes. How you seemed far off and in your own head, millions of miles away from him and where you were. He thought the flush on your cheeks was just from the heat of wearing his sweater. Why would it be from anything else?

Even when you nodded and assured him that you were fine, Vincent didn't believe you. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew he should've just waited until you went to take a nap. Then, he could've slipped away and been back before you ever knew the wiser. Instead, he'd brought you here and now you were- His self deprecating paused as you reached a hand under his sweater.

His hand instantly went around your wrist, but he didn't pull it away. It was out of surprise more than anything, but his grip quickly relaxed. Still, his bigger hands circled your wrist as your hand moved. It was just the lightest of touches, your fingertips barely brushing against his skin. You were touching the flesh of his side, before your hand was sliding up and you were moving your palm across his abdomen. Feeling his happy trail, before teasing the edge of his sweatpants. He stared down at you, watching as you gazed up at him. You were still biting your lip, your cheeks were still flushed, but he finally noticed the way your pupils had blown out and- Oh . Vincent wasn't the most experienced. It's probably why it took him this long to figure out what you'd been thinking about. Or what he assumed you were. A quick thought told him he was being silly, that you couldn't possibly want that.

Even as you leaned up to nip and kiss at his collarbone, as your hands pushed his shirt up further and felt the expanse of his chest. Even as you leaned forward to suck a hickey into his chest, leaving him practically trembling. He didn't believe you could want him like that up until you whispered,

***

"Vincent, can I touch you?" You watched as a look of surprise was quick to flit through his eye. He gave you a nod, almost a jerk of his head compared to his usual slow movements. You gave him a grin, before you were sliding your hand under his pants. You'd never been so bold before with him, but you couldn't help it. You wanted to know. Wanted to feel the weight in your hand. On your tongue.

You barely had to brush your fingers against the front of his briefs before you could feel that he was half-hard already. A few more light brushes and he was straining against the material of his underwear. Vincent let out a soft noise, the sound of a puff of air hitting his mask. You had barely touched him, but he already looked half-wrecked. It occurred to you then that Vincent probably wouldn't last long, and it was strange to you. To hold power over someone.

You pushed his sweatpants down his narrow hips, sinking onto your knees in front of him. He practically jumped when he realized what you were doing, and you quickly asked,

"Is this alright?" But he was quick to nod. He leaned back, resting back on the dresser he'd made. He motioned for you to continue, and you smiled up to him as you leaned forward to nuzzle the crotch of his pants. Your nose bumped along his clothed cock, before you were giving it an experimental lick through the fabric of his underwear. You heard him sigh again, and you watched as he tightened his grip on the edge of the dresser. "You're so handsome, Vincent." You whispered the praise, kissing along the waistband before you were tugging his underwear down. You looked up, seeing that his flush was heading down his neck and towards the tips of his ears. Once again you asked, "You're okay, right? You'll tell me if you want me to stop?" He'd started to fist his sweater, to bring it up to hide his face. He gave you another quick nod and you pulled him free. You gave him a few experimental pumps, leaning in to lick along his shaft to lubricate your hand. You watched how Vincent shivered at the feeling of your wet appendage, and you had to bite back a satisfied grin. After that, you didn't waste any time wrapping your mouth around the head of his cock.

You sucked him off slowly, flattening your tongue against the underside as you bobbed your head half-way. He was big, as big as his height and the size of his hands may have suggested, and thick. Even if you were more experienced than him, you found it difficult to fit him completely down your throat.

His hands tugged and pulled at the fabric of his sweater before one of them was cupping the back of your neck. He tilted his hips forward, rocking his hips ever so slightly with every bob of your head. This was the most noise you ever heard Vincent make. He let out little groans and sounds, half-keened whines and breathless gasps. He shivered and trembled with every flick of your tongue. You held his hips, thumbing them as you stared up at him through your lashes. He was keeping his head tossed back, his eye firmly closed from what you could tell. But when he'd finally looked down at you and made eye contact with you, you practically felt his resolve snap.

His hand moved from your neck to the back of your head. He only pressed your head down farther for a few thrusts, ones that practically slid his cock all the way down your throat, before you felt him tense. He held your head, doubling over as he slid his cock down the back of your throat. You could feel his cum hitting the back of your throat, giving you no choice but to swallow around his cock. You could feel tears in the corners of your eyes, and you tried to blink them away as you focused on trying not to gag. He let out a strangled sound, no doubt feeling the muscles of your throat work around his cock. His hips stuttered, before he was pulling out with panting breaths. He leaned back against dresser, his head falling back and strands of his hair falling out from his ponytail from where he'd gripped at it. You almost wished you could take a picture.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, watching him as he calmed himself down and you helped him tuck himself away. You lifted yourself to your feet with his help, and he signed a simple,

"You okay?" And you nearly laughed. Vincent seemed to ask you that at least five times a day.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" You asked, prodding his chest. You heard him laugh, a soft and raspy sound. He gave you a nod, even if it still seemed like he was collecting himself. He reached out, running a hand through your hair before settling his palm against your cheek. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, running over the sensitive skin. You hummed, parting your lips and sucking his thumb into your mouth. You barely realized what you were doing before you did it, but you gave his thumb a slow suck as you ran your tongue over it. You watched as his eye darkened once more, and you squeaked when he pulled his hand away and tugged you up like you didn't weigh a thing.

You squealed and laughed when your back hit the wax mattress, which, despite looking comfortable, was only slightly less forgiving than if he'd shoved you against the wall. But you barely had time to think about that. Vincent was quickly pushing his mask away from his face and you shut your eyes out of habit. You felt his lips clumsily press against yours, and his confidence was either from the month of practice or from the rage of desire that was flooding his system. He boxed you in with one arm, his other hand quick to trace all the parts he'd already memorized. You giggled. You couldn't help it. You'd never felt Vincent so eager, so confident . It sent the rush of a thrill through you, and you were wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your chest against his to get him as close as possible.

"Touch me, touch me, touch me," You practically begged, your legs curling around his hips and drawing him closer. He groaned at the press of his front against yours, undeniably sensitive from before. He drew his lips from yours, mouthing down your cheek to your jaw until he reached your neck. His fingers weren't moving fast enough, and you pressed your chest against his hand to urge him further as he fondled you through your shirt. Even as he slipped his hand underneath, teasing and gently twisting your nipples, you knew it wouldn't be enough. You rolled your hips against his, trying to get any sort of friction as you tugged on his black strands of hair. He moaned against your skin, before his lips were attempting to clamp back onto yours. You begged for more, and Vincent wasn't one to keep you waiting. His hand rubbed you through the fabric of your bottoms, and he swallowed the moan that left your lips. He traced your heat through the fabric, pressing hard enough to feel his touch.

It wasn't enough until his hand was slipping inside, slipping past your panties and running his bare fingertips through the folds of your cunt. You whined, gripping his shoulders and bucking your hips against his hand. Vincent pulled away from the kiss, but you were too distracted to care as you guided his fingers over your aching clit.

***

Vincent was watching you, memorizing the expressions you made as you screwed your eyes closed and gasped. You gasped and whined, bucking and practically throbbing against his hand. When he dipped his fingers inside you, he found feel your walls sucking his fingers up. Trying to drag them deeper and swallow them in your warm, wet heat.

His cock was already heavy and hard in his sweatpants again, but he fought the urge to grind against your thigh as he fingered you. This was about you. He pressed the heel of his palm against the spot you'd lead him to, watching the way you shuddered and trembled underneath him. He drew everything in, only muffling your sounds when he needed your lips against his.

He kissed you anywhere his lips reached, trying to silently tell you how beautiful you were. How precious you looked. Everything that he couldn't sign to you with your eyes closed and one of his hands down your pants, his fingers buried and thrusting inside of you.

***

You whimpered as he pushed you further and further, your hips jerking as Vincent listened to every word you told him. He moved his fingers just so, seeming to even listen just to the way your voice would change. You'd been touched before, either by yourself or by your ex, but you couldn't remember a time you'd been listened to so eagerly before. Had someone that could reach the spots inside you that you couldn't.

"Right there, Vincent. Ah- Just like that." He rubbed that spot over and over until your hips were jerking. Whether to get closer or farther away you didn't know. But Vincent pulled back almost completely. You could feel his weight shift, and then you felt his other hand holding you down by pressing his large hand flat against your stomach. So you couldn't move and so you were forced to feel . "Oh, Vincent ." Your voice went up an octave. You tried to fist the sheets of the bed, but all you did was scrape your nails against the wax. You tried to move your hips, but you couldn't. You tried to shift away from the intensity of the pleasure, of how he'd shifted from using the heel of his palm and instead circled your clit with his thumb, but he was relentless. Persistent with his pleasure.

You felt close to tears, a stream of cries and praise leaving your lips before you could feel your thighs start to shake. Your abdomen start to tense. You reached to hold onto his forearm, your nails biting into his skin as the other gripped your own hair. You came around his fingers, a cry of his name leaving your lips as you arched your head back. He didn't stop, even if his actions slowed. You shivered and trembled through the aftershocks, twitching before you finally begged him,

"Open." And you knew that you hadn't been mistaken. It was rare that you heard his voice. You were almost sure that it had been the first time. You knew he didn't speak simply because it pained him to do so, and you knew that he wouldn't do it unless he was absolutely sure. So, slowly, you peeled open your eyes and looked into the half-scarred face of your lover. Your hand glided over the smooth, untouched side of his face. One that was identical to Bo's. You didn't dare touch the scar tissue, as you didn't want to potentially hurt him. But, still, your eyes glided over it as if there wasn't a blemish there. Softly, you whispered,

"Okay, okay, okay, enough. Fuck- Vincent, I can't-" And he finally drew his hand away. You panted and relaxed, slumping against the solid block of wax and waiting until Vincent told you he was ready for you to look. Instead, you felt the plushness of his lips press against yours. It was soft and short, before he was kissing you again. And again, and again. You giggled, running your fingers through the strands of his hair and kissing him back each time. He kissed your cheek and your forehead, before he pressed soft kisses to the back of your eyelids. They nearly fluttered open, but then Vincent did it again. You made a face, questioning if you thought he was telling you to do what you thought he was. Then, he did it again and you heard the raspy whisper of the word,

"Hello, handsome." And you finally got to watch him blush properly.

#house of wax #house of wax (2005)#house of wax 2005 #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair

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jypbae7 · 3 years

Note

Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They’ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

#wayv #weishen v #kun #qian kun #wayv smut #wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv astrology #nct astrology #nct u #nct #nct imagines

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kiss4kazu · 4 years

Note

ooh! can i request something spicy?? maybe headcanons of claude, dimitri, and felix’s kinks?

spicy hcs | dimitri, felix, claude

this is combo between just kink hcs and also how first times being freaky w these three go hahhahahahhahah screams. this is not safe for kiddos so proceed with caution folks

felix <3

whew, okay. sweats. um

so the first time u and felix do the do was definitely not planned. things tend to escalate a lot with felix when it comes to intimacy. pecks goodnight lead up to make out sessions and all of a sudden his hand is down your pants and you’re honestly not complaining.

felix is definitely more of a giver than a receiver, not because he liked giving, but because he liked being in control. he liked seeing you writhe beneath him and all that jazz.

he’d definitely deny you from reaching your high multiple times, partially to draw out the activity since you tend to come quite quickly beneath his touch but also because hearing you whine his name helplessly was a really big fucking turn on and he always swelled with pride knowing he was the only person who can turn you into a sobbing mess.

felix has 2 moods. his soft and pliant types of fucking, and his arrogant, i’m big bad felix fraldarius and my cock is 30inches long type of fucking. he knows hes hot, he knows he has a pretty dick, might as well utilize it.

he hates praise when it’s ingenuine, for things intangible that he hadn’t earned himself. when it’s people praising him for his title or the power of a fraldarius battalion.

but praise when it comes from you? when it’s you letting him know just how amazing he feels inside of you, how with every thrust of his hips your brain short-circuits and your eyes water with unspilled tears? when it’s you not being able to even form coherent words anymore because felix fraldarius is throbbing inside of you... yeah, that kind of praise. it does wonders for him and his dick.

he’s also into hair-pulling

and overstimulation

hes also rly rly easily jealous like if someone else was making eyes with you or perhaps you were giggling a little too loudly with some handsome noble he’d just yank you away and march u up the stairs to his dormitory before kissing you hard

he’s the type to make u beg and be rly possessive he’d just fuck you so ruthlessly hair stuck to his skin, panting “you’re mine. mine. say it” and u would just cry bc why tf he so sexy hello-

as mentioned in my kissing post, felix sucks the life out of you when he kisses you so it’s only logical that he fucks the life out of you too.

im kidding ofc!! not rly

although he’s on the giving end of things, it’s still completely self-indulgent, felix gets off just knowing he’s getting you off because he’s a sexy narcissist like that.

but on some days, he really really wanted you to know he cared a lot about you.

felix isn’t the best with words, but he was really good with his tongue, so things usually worked out okay. he’d kiss you, everywhere. every inch of you, leaving hickeys in even the most visible places because who fucking cares. you were his, he needed you to know that. he needed everyone to know that.

he can be sensitive sometimes too, make love, if you will.

he has to be rly emotional tho, so it’s probably after something eventful happens in his life. like when the kingdom takes back fhirdiad, or wins the war. or when he’s sleepy and tired and wakes up hard and is just too lazy to put on his big bad scary persona.

sleepy felix is submissive felix, aka my favorite felix. sleepy horny felix is all whiny and blushy and just wanted to come and he absolutely despised himself for it

you were well aware of how much he hated himself for being soft and needy, but that made teasing him all the more fun.

so yes, some nights felix would fuck you brainless and soak in the sound of your voice crying out his name helplessly. but on other nights, felix would lay down, his hair splayed against the pillow, your fingers twirling his locks and tugging gently as your other hand jerked him off, lips pressed against his as you breathed in his whines and grunts.

hearing him whine was a really rare sight, but it did slip out occasionally, when you squeezed the base of his member unexpectedly or when you took him deep into your throat and swallowed around him. felix really likes fucking your mouth.

yeah felix is an emotionally constipated sex god

claude !

whew lord.

ok so claude, my sweet, cheeky, little shit <3

the first time probs wasnt even intentional with him either he was just teasing you a little too much and things got a bit carried away but it’s a great time nonetheless

doing the do with claude is probably a rollercoaster ride, he would literally never shut up and would just say the most stupid things and you’d hate yourself for still being so desperate for his touch because somehow in between his terrible jokes and merciless teasing he whispered complete filth into your ears.

he’s a master of dirty talk, chuckling against the shell of your ear at the sound of you choking out a sob at his words, tugging at your earlobe just to spur you on even further.

“don’t tell me you’re clocking out already?” you’d just glare at him in frustration despite your flushed cheeks and he’d kiss you on the tip of your nose and laugh in amusement at your misery

he’ll literally do everything but fuck you, covering every inch of your skin in love bites, especially your chest. he’d literally eat you out or suck you off until you were dizzy but if you want him inside of you, he’d definitely make you beg.

if you ever tried to get smart with him… um, he’d uh .. p-punish you

not like in a pain kink type of way he’d just pull out right before you could nut and would laugh maniacally in your face afterwards because that’s what you get for being a smart ass ! denying u from coming is basically how he punishes u so its a pretty long night but claude’s really really good with his tongue so you’re guaranteed to come like 3 times at minimum anyways

he’d devour you, all smirks and with eyes filled with mirth and he wouldn’t give in until you were absolutely wrecked under him.

he’s very um… dominant, i would say

but not an aggressive dom, definitely a playful dom who enjoys edging and teasing a bit too much

he’s also pretty experimental, i can see claude as a bit of an exhibitionist also, he’d probably fuck you in the cathedral just for shits and giggles

but he is human and despite how much of a little shit claude is he’s just as wrecked as you he’s just much better at hiding it

he’d probs quit the teasing once he himself can’t handle it anymore

and wow uh thats when claude gets all sensual

when claude’s kind of in overdrive and completely uncoordinated just messily thrusting over and over again to finally get you both to that place thats when he becomes all romantic and lovey

would compliment you to no amounts end, call you all sorts of pet names like honey, sweetheart, baby, etc.

his messy curls would stick to his skin, his forehead pressed firmly against yours, verdant eyes blown wide maintaining eye contact with you just for that extra level of intimacy because watching you when you’re like this really drives him over the edge.

he’d pant against your lips, kiss you roughly and somehow find it in himself to even let out an amused laugh because he’s having sex and that’s kind of funny for some reason

claude’s pull-out game probably a1 but idk he’s possessive in less conventional ways so i feel like he’d get off to the thought of releasing inside you and watching him drip down your thighs bc yea

claude is also the king of aftercare let it be known

he’d have so much energy after sex for some reason like he’d just hop right up clean your bodies, fetch you tea if you wanted some and curl up with you resting on his chest, running his fingers over the skin of your arms tenderly and smiling softly to himself when exhaustion takes over you and you slip into a warm slumber against his chest.

i love him bye

dima

ok so dimi is a busy busy boy and even when he does have free time he’s never entirely there his mind is always kind of somewhere else u know

he’s always struggled w getting a proper night's rest and always overworks himself into hysteria

so, as his lovely s/o, you presume a nice session to destress will help loosen those knots in his muscles and all that chaos whirring around in his mind

you were thinking a nice trip to the sauna or something

but dimi had other ideas

he’d just look at you and his gaze would darken all of a sudden and with just a glance at him you already feel the wind being knocked out of you

it would be rly sudden, like dimitri’s just rly needy all of a sudden and he’s taking whatever you’ll give rly he has so much pent up stress and needs some form of release and he’s so so emotional and touchy and won’t stop kissing you with so much fervor and desperation

dimi is 1000% a lovemaker im sorry u cannot convince me otherwise. unless he is feral. if he is feral then understandable have a good day.

he’s all about pampering and kissing every inch of you and asks every five minutes is this okay? are you comfortable? does that hurt? are you sure? because he’s terrible with fragile things and if he ever hurt you he’d never forgive himself poor baby

part of you just wants to grab his face and say !!! im fine !!! you big idiot !! but you just pull him to your chest and nuzzle your face into his neck and breathe him in deeply, kissing his jaw gently before reassuring him i’m fine dimi, stop worrying

he’d calm down instantly and focus back on the task at hand, pleasuring the love of his life hehe

BODY WORSHIPPING non stop praises just kissing everywhere his lips come across you’d love it but hate it at the same time bc part of you just wants him in u already and the other half of u is just so so enamoured by him and feels so warm and loved and appreciated

he’s more of a giver than a receiver as well though for opposite reasons compared to felix, he worries about your comfort so much to the extent where it distracts him from his own pleasure, and it isn’t until he’s inside of you that he remembers and is like oh wow fuck and yea things dont usually last very long for him since he always neglects his own pleasure in favor of yours. he gets so focused on making u feel good because he loves you so much and he needs you to know that so yeah he doesn’t remember to even touch himself lmao

you’d probably come like twice before dimi even whips his schlong out

at the peak of his pleasure tho dimi gets kinda rough ngl. he’s a person whos very emotionally driven so when everything gets to be a bit too much he’s just slamming into you with so much force your skin stings, grip so tight on your hips there’s sure to be bruises in the morning but despite how rough he is his eyes are nothing but gentle and so so loving

probably says something like oh seiros when he’s about to come LMAOOO

dimi is also a king with aftercare but he’d probably knock out like a log afterwards and it’d be like the best sleep he’d get tbh all warm and satiated and just content

dimi sex god

#fe3h #claude x reader #fe3h fics #fe3h requests #fe3h imagines #claude von riegan #claude imagines #claude scenarios #fe3h scenarios #fire emblem three houses #dimitri x reader #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimitri imagines #dimitri scenarios #felix fraldarius x reader #felix fraldarius #felix fraldarius scenarios

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lydias--stiles · 3 years

Note

Kiss prompt 19 Juke

KISS PROMPTS (closed)

19. One person stopping a kiss to ask “Do you want to do this?”, only to have the other person answer with a deeper, more passionate kiss.

(high school au)

In retrospect, the game ‘Seven Minutes In Heaven’ was a really bad idea. It could’ve really fucked them over had it not been the right time or place. It had been, thank God, but neither would risk it all again any time soon.

Julie was a mess.

Carrie’s house parties were, as expected, completely out of control. The kitchen was filled to the brim with alcohol, music boomed from stereos that probably reached the other side of LA, drunkards jumped in the pool and drinking games were started on a whim.

She’s avoided ‘Circle Of Death’, ‘Fuck The Dealer’, beer pong, flip cup, ‘Avalanche’ and whatever else existed. All she really wanted to do was dance and forget Luke had been flirting with Yasmine, a senior girl.

God, she was such a cliché. Of course, she was in love with her best friend. It didn’t help he was a year older nor that it was uncommon for her to feel like a child. She knew that was stupid. They were completely on the same wavelength and were super close, but then she saw some of the girls he liked talking to…

Yasmine was pretty and experienced and Julie was definitely not. Not in that way, at least. It wasn’t like she had a shot with Luke either, both strictly friends, but his interest in Yasmine didn’t help her self-esteem.

In a moment of weakness, (a combination of too many White Claws, the buzz of dancing, the taste of teenage angst, the bitter fantasy of being with him) Flynn and Kayla managed to drag her to the den. It was slightly quieter here. A group of kids were sprawled over the many couches in a circle, Carrie standing in the middle like some warrior in glitter.

Luke was there too. He saluted at her from the other side of the room as she sat down, amusement pulling on his lips.

“Alright,” Carrie declared. “Seven minutes in heaven! If you’re not into it, leave!”

A few left, Julie almost joining them in fright, when Flynn held her down. Her nails dug in her arm, a coy look crossing her hazy features.

“You either get over Luke, or you get with Luke.”

Julie shook her head. “No. This isn’t happening.”

“It is,” Kayla grinned. The girls high-fived each other. “You’re welcome.”

The game began. A suffering Julie watched on as Alex and Willie had no qualms pulling each other into the wall closet. They were lucky, basically already a couple with their very blatant flirting. She focused on talking to the girls or teasing the ones that were chosen, pointedly not looking in Luke’s direction.

What if he saw it in her eyes? That she wanted him? She’d die of mortification.

It was hard to not like Luke. He was the definition of effervescence. Every little thing he did had intention. Dialling his charm up to eleven, laughing harder than anyone else, encouraging her to chase all the dreams tucked in her dream-box with awed conviction. It was like he didn’t even have to try to be all-encompassing; he just was.

And she wasn’t the only who noticed. Ever since they’ve been friends - her a freshman and he a sophomore - she has seen girls come and go on his radar. Nothing ever stuck. Whenever Alex and Reggie called him out for it, he claimed he was too focused on music to care about that stuff.

She didn’t know whether that should make her happy or not.

Just as she was getting bored, leaning against Flynn while her friend recounted a story from her job, the bottle was handed to Luke. Instinctively, Julie straightened up. Her heart pounded in her throat, muscles straining and lungs constricting. This crush would kill her one day.

It spun and spun and spun and slowed down and twisted precariously, lingered and then… landed undoubtedly on Julie.

Shit.

Kayla gasped, cause of course she had to be unsubtle about it, while Flynn slapped her arm. Her friends were fucking wonderful.

Their eyes met, hers nervous and his apprehensive. God, that hurt. They didn’t even have to do anything.

“Chop chop,” Carrie smirked. Everyone knew they were best friends and a handful, like Carrie, picked up on Julie’s differing emotions. She was eating this up. “Go and make out!”

The crowd hollered as they stood up, this time with Luke rolling his at her, as if that would be comforting. She knew what he was trying to do, silently calling them idiots, but she just felt like the biggest idiot of all.

The closet door slammed shut. Encased in the dark, Julie tried to even her breathing.

“Huh,” Luke mused, so close she felt the words ghost her face. “Thought it would be bigger.”

She crossed her arms and leaned back as best as she could. “This is so lame.”

“Then why were you in the circle?”

“Why were you in the circle?” she retorted. Though usually a terrible liar, the obscurity helped her sell it. No way he saw her red cheeks and skittish gaze.

Her body was burning. He was too near, every cell of her all too aware of where he was. The hairs on their skin brushed when they inhaled, their hands mere inches away. They didn’t need to move to kiss; only needed to tilt her head to kiss him.

Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him.

“Where were you, by the way?” he asked, faux-offended. “‘Toto’ was playing and I didn’t have my dance partner!”

She laughed, the tension marginally eased. “Sorry. I was busy avoiding Flynn from pulling me into a drinking game.”

“Aha! So, this is also Flynn’s plan.”

She shrugged. “More or less.” And then- “Were you hoping for Yasmine?”

What the fuck. Why did she say that?! It sounded so jealous! If he could see her, he’d remark she was going green with envy. Her eyes shut in embarrassment, waiting for a bark of laughter and a coy confession that yes, he was hoping to get alone with her.

Instead, she got a hesitant pause. “You- you think I wanna get with Yasmine?”

Swallowing back the pain, she uttered: “She’s pretty.”

“I guess.”

Another pause, more loaded with unsaid implications and rising temperatures. She felt him shifting on his feet, his arm swiping past hers and alighting her heart into a frenzy.

Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him.

“I want you.” Her eyes widened as she blurted out the double entendre. “To keep talking! I want you to keep talking.”

“Right,” he chuckled, a nervous edge to his tone. “Uh…”

Julie sighed, frustration building in her chest. “How long does seven minutes take?”

Luke scoffed. “Damn, Jules, it’s that bad to be in a closet with me?”

“No!” Gah! She was doing everything wrong! “That’s not… I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just-” Letting out a breath, she took a risk: “-nervous.”

All at once, she deflated with relief. It was out. No turning back. He could do whatever he wanted with that information.

“Good or bad nervous?” he whispered.

And then she felt it again, his hand coming near, knuckles bumping against hers. It pricked and sparked and she was losing her mind a little. But they were so close to something and Julie was too curious - too dazed - to not see where it led to.

“Good.” Her head tilted up, brave. “Very good.”

The quiet words lit a match, Luke surging forward as his hands slipped around her face and pressed an urgent kiss on her lips. It was so fast, so unexpectedly dizzying, that she didn’t have time to react. Right as she leaned in, he pulled away.

His voice trembled, thumbs swiping her cheeks. “Do you wanna do this?”

An incredulous chuckle leapt from her mouth, a beat later crashing their lips back together with two years of hidden passion pouring out. He groaned, hands clenched around her jaw and waist as hers were gripping his neck. Her soul was on fire, adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream at a tempo she couldn’t keep up with.

They deepened the kiss, tongues grazing past lips and teeth and eliciting pleasurable sighs and needy whimpers. Falling onto her side of the closet, Julie interrupted the kiss to giggle at his frantic rush.

“Don’t laugh,” he giggled along, muffling the sound with another kiss as he crowded over her.

It was intoxicating. The faint scent of his cologne, allowing her nails to trail his jaw, arching into him like he etched a space for her long ago. Kissing Luke was better than any drink she could get here.

When his face shifted, lips dropping to her jaw and shrivelling any rational thought she might’ve had, she gasped out: “I take it you weren’t interested in Yas?”

“Never,” he mumbled. Having him so close, she saw the way his hooded eyes flicked up at her. “Is this real to you?”

The nod was fast and the kiss even faster, their incessant grins keeping them from tilting off their axis. This was the realest she’s ever been with him. This was the only way she could ever be with him; impossible to go back to friends after this. Every touch drove her further into her feelings, that delicious type of wild she’d been craving for so long.

His hands snuck underneath her top, its warmth causing shivers up her spine and a pleased smile to curl his lips. The move made her push the beanie from his head and rake her fingers through the soft locks. It was the right call, their teasing game washing away any sense of doubt or fear.

Or sense of time.

The door flung open. Instantly, everyone in the room started screaming and whistling at the sight of the pair’s compromising position. Flynn and Kayla were hugging each other as if their favourite artists just appeared in front of them. Alex and Reggie body-slammed in victory.

Julie couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed. Luke and her were finally where they were supposed to be. Noting the cocky grin crawling up his face, he was thinking the same thing.

Carrie was unfazed, a quirked brow assessing them.

“Had fun?”

#juke #jatp fanfiction #kiss prompts #ask ophelia

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pipipinyyy · 3 years

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Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

#Spotify #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #niragi #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #character playlist #aib niragi #aib #overanalyzing niragi is my favorite hobby

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modernpaw · 3 years

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Midnight Ride

Adam Sackler x Female Reader

Summary: You've been chatting with a guy you matched with on a dating app for two weeks now, and tonight is your first time meeting him in person.

Notes: This is not at all related to The One, the other piece I wrote about Sackler days earlier. For the purposes of this universe, let's pretend that sitting on the metal handlebar of a bicycle and going around New York late at night aren't dangerous. LOL. And just for added feels, this is the song that was responsible for this fic.

CW: A little bit of swearing, AFAB reader, awful cycling practices, but generally fluff

Words: 1.3k

It's been two years since you last went out on a date, but anyone looking at you now wouldn't be able to tell, not with the way you seem so comfortable talking to the man sitting across you.

Several weeks ago, you decided to finally reenter the dating scene, swiping left and right through New York's most eligible bachelors. To your unexpected delight, the pickings weren't as slim as you thought, and you ended up matching with several interesting men.

Adam happened to be one of them. His profile listed him as an actor, a detail that usually makes you a bit wary, considering that most actor types you know seem to be only interested in themselves, but there was something about him that made you reconsider.

His eyes had both an intensity and a vulnerability that made it hard for you to look away. And with that kind of connection just from the screen alone, you couldn't not give it a shot.

And you're so glad you did.

Adam is thoughtful and sweet, remembering details about you despite mentioning them only once and reminding you to take your vitamins. But he's also funny as hell and swears like the world is going to fucking end tomorrow.

After two weeks of constant messaging, you two agreed to meet up for dinner at a late-night diner along Madison.

The moment you strode in, the two of you locked eyes immediately. There was no mistaking Adam. His hair was just as long as it was in the photo, and when he stood up to greet you, you saw exactly what the 6"3 in his profile came with, and boy did you approve.

Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice your ogling, overshadowed as it was by the confusion of whether you two should go in for a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or a handshake. It should have been awkward, but then you laughed and gave him a bright smile, and just like that, the tension was broken.

You spent the first hour candidly talking about your respective expectations about how the other would look in real life, which somehow, led to you two exchanging photos of your younger selves over burgers and fries.

"You looked so cute with braces on!"

"Oh my god, Adam, your ears are so adorable!"

"Holy shhiiiiitttt, had you gone to prom with me in that, I never would have left you a virgin!"

"Adam!" you hissed, clamping his mouth with one hand while looking around frantically. You might have told him about your high school boyfriend backing out of having sex with you on the night of your high school prom, but that didn't mean you wanted the rest of the diner to know it, too.

"What," he replied innocently once you removed your hand. "I totally wouldn't!"

"Shut up!" you said, trying not to laugh as his declarations became more and more ridiculous. The rest of dinner went on in a similar vein, with Adam making you laugh and you trying not to choke on your food, and by the time you decide to get the bill, it's nearly midnight.

"I can't believe we've been talking for almost four hours!" you exclaim, looking at your watch.

"I can," he says boldly, eyes twinkling at you, like he's still in awe that you're real. And he is. From the moment you two connected on the app, Adam has found himself drawn to you. You're smart and funny, but not in a way that seems like you think yourself better than everyone else or self-destructive. You appear genuinely interested in him as a person, and so far, you don't seem to be put off by his "intense" disposition.

Whenever he talks to you, he feels like he wants to be on his best behavior, but also that he doesn't have to pretend to be anyone else, which he's well-aware is a complete oxymoron. Still, it's the only way he can put it.

He told Ray as much earlier this evening, and Ray just told him that maybe, just maybe, him being on this so-called best behavior is not too far from who he really is.

But Adam has no fucking clue who he is. After Hannah, after Jessa, after all the women he's been with, he feels like he's just beginning to get to know himself again. One thing he knows for sure, however, is that he likes himself when he talks to you.

And he doesn't want the night to end.

Neither do you.

You two are walking aimlessly down the street when Adam stops in his tracks and turns to you.

"Wanna go for a ride?" he asks.

"What?" you squawk.

Adam laughs at your reaction. "Not that kind of ride, kid," he says, and you realize that he's referring to the row of Citi bikes for rent on the curb.

You're not exactly embarrassed by your reaction, but his next words definitely fluster you.

"But maybe on our next date," he teases, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," you manage to toss back in reply before leaving him to inspect the bicycles at a closer range.

Adam shakes his head. "Okay, that's it," he says before wrapping his hands around your waist and picking you up from behind.

"Adam!" you yell out, giggling.

He swings you a few times before eventually helping you get on the metal handlebar of the bike. Your hands automatically hold on to the bar to keep yourself upright. "Keep that adorable tush right there," he murmurs as he gets on the bike seat behind you.

Then he starts pedalling.

It's not exactly easy to hold a conversation on a bicycle, but somehow, you two manage by taking turns asking each other short would-you-rather questions with absolutely no context.

"Elephants or koalas?" he asks.

"Elephants. They never forget," you answer. "Lions or tigers?"

"Lions," he says grimly. "Tigers will most certainly eat you on sight. Hero or villain?"

"I-Innocent bystander," you manage to say despite the laughter that's already bubbling so close to the surface. It turns into a full-on guffaw when he sputters comically behind your ear. "That's not even one of the choices, kid!"

"Well, the rules have changed!" you yell back when a cab honks loudly in the distance. "Gold or silver?"

"Glass," he replies, not willing to concede even though he has zero idea how to not lose. "Upstairs or downstairs?"

"Uh," you stutter, not expecting such a difficult one right away. "Sideways."

"Really?" he asks, his voice taking on a velvety quality. You don't know how to explain it, but you feel like Adam has just changed the rules right under your nose.

"You bet," you answer, soldiering on. "On or off?"

Adam laughs, and you try not to shiver at the hot puffs of breath that warm the back of your ear. "Oh, definitely off," he says.

"You're supposed to give me an answer that's not one of the choices," you say, trying to distract your thoughts from going down that road.

"I'm sorry," he says in a way that says he's definitely not sorry at all. "Fast or slow?"

Well, two can play that game. "Fast," you say, but before he can react, you add, "Like a fucking jackhammer."

"Ffffuck," he swears and he pedals a bit faster.

"Adam!" you cry out suddenly, afraid to lose your balance.

"Shit! Sorry!" he apologizes, gently slowing down to a stop. The Brooklyn Bridge is a good place to end the ride as any, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think that he planned this perfectly. You hop down from your seat and turn to face Adam who makes to dismount as well.

"Want to walk the rest of the way?" Adam asks you with a goofy smile.

You smile back. "Yeah, I'd like that."

As you stroll over the bridge side by side, Adam slowly inches his hand on the handlebar closer to yours and you reach out to do the same. You can't stop yourself from smiling, and you just know, even without looking, that he's got a smile on his face, too.

Tagging: @cornmousequeen, @fizzywoohoo, @paper-n-ashes, @morby

If you would like to be tagged in future adcu stories or only those for specific adcu characters (which I cannot promise will actually happen), let me know! :) Otherwise, thank you for reading!

#Spotify #adam sackler x female reader #adam sackler x reader #afab reader #adcu fanfiction #adcu #mild swearing #do not ride bikes like this!

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