in my mind if you did everything you were supposed to health-wise barring any freak accidents you could live to 200

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

Ej being w a sexual shy reader

prompt 9 (?)

I mashed all of these prompts together into one— I thot they would fit 😳 (however it’s a lil different uwu)

also i listened to ego death by Mieke while writing this it goes with it WELL, so you should listen to it >:)) ON LOOP

🔪————————————————————————🌸

Summary: Y/N is alone and not fine with it. Ej is alone but fine with it. They mix. Ej remembers that his love is not immortal like him.

Word count: 3.3k

NSFW: u h. yes. It’s pretty mild tho and very VERY soft

Warnings: mild depression, grief, loss of a loved one, EXTREME FLUFFY NSFW, mentions of eating humans, mentions of reader death, slight angst, very fluffy, ej loves reader very much

Tag List: @jouchann

🌸————————————————🔪

Y/n was always shy. She grew up quiet, she lacked presence. She never raised her hand—nor her voice. She was talked over and trampled on. She grew up with loving yet quickly fading grandparents. They tried to give her attention but the life was draining out of them and quite frankly they wanted to spend their last years in the arms of their loving spouse. She didn’t mind, she figured she would rather spend all of her remaining time with her significant other as well. Although she had always figured that something like that was nowhere close to her in the near future. Or further future to be honest. She was too shy and small in character to make a lasting impact on anyone, after all.

Falling in love with an immortal demon wasn’t something shy girls did. Outgoing girls did that, spontaneous and loud and adventurous. Those were the type of girls to experience this. Confident and sure of themselves. Shy girls met someone in a library, in a coffee shop, maybe on a park bench. Not in the woods at four a.m. sobbing about their grandparents death.

It was cold and dark and wet. Her face was wet from tears and wet from rain, her fingertips and lips were red and freezing, ready to burst. She couldn’t go back inside. Not yet, not now. It had been a week since their death, her grandpa dying of simply old age, her grandmother fading one hour after digesting the news and coming to terms with it. Her heart was simply too broken. Instantaneous heart failure. They left her everything. The car, the house, the money, the cat— their belongings. She didn’t want any of it right now. She had no other family, no close friends. She was simply not the type to make a lasting impact on someone.

She didn’t want to go back to that house. She didn’t want to see their things laying around, now her things. They were all she had, how was she supposed to go on, being alone? She hated being alone and lonely and alone. If anything, the woods behind her house was almost comforting. The feeling of being watched, which usually would give someone chills and paranoia—helped. She wasn’t alone, she would walk into that house and her grandparents would wave hello at her, they would be holding hands from their separate but close recliners, watching whatever new show they found interesting at the moment.

Obviously, that wouldn’t happen. But she still thought it, hoped. Which was why she couldn’t go back inside. It would make it too real, they wouldn’t be there, she would be truly alone. As long as she didn’t go inside to see for herself, they might be still sitting inside, waiting for her. So she couldn’t go inside, or they wouldn’t be there anymore.

It was colder then before, even though the rain had stopped. The grass was starting to freeze, the sun had gone down more than two hours ago. She sat still against a tree trunk, holding her knees to her chest. She was tired, it was cold out here. She didn’t know if her fingers were still red or if they had turned blue. She didn’t have enough energy to check. Animals scurried around her, as if they knew she wouldn’t do them any harm. They knew she was incapable, so they ignored her and roamed around freely.

Her eyes were closing and opening, closing and opening, over and over and over again. Her head swayed, but she fought to stay up. Would her grandparents still be there if she fell asleep? She didn’t know, so she fought to stay awake. Her body won over her mind however, and soon her body slumped over as she hit the ground, her arms still curled into herself.

🔪Eyeless’s P.O.V🔪

I felt kinda bad. I mean, this girl was just sitting in my woods crying while it was raining. Watching her felt like an invasion of privacy...but then again she was in my woods. It was only fair that I watch her to make sure she didn’t get into any trouble. How did she even get in? It seems that tall prick needs to up his game.

I was patient. I had lived a very long time, I had an endless amount of time to do whatever I wanted. I knew that waiting for someone or something meant nothing. However I did worry about her time. How long had it been? I figured pretty long when she slumped over onto the icy grass, sound asleep. Humans felt temperature, didn’t they? She would get hypothermia if this continued. I had already eaten. I wasn’t hungry. Being feral every once in a while really made you full as hell for a few weeks. The thought of more food grossed me out considering I had eaten so much. She was safe, for now. If she ever came in my woods again however, I wouldn’t be too sure.

So in a moment of rare kindness for something like me, I dropped down from my tree and crouched to get a good look at her. Was she a run-away? She looked young but...I sifted through her pockets. An old tattered wallet. She had a driver’s license, not that much else. Then again I didn’t really look, just wanted to find an ID of some sort. She was an adult. So homeless? No. She didn’t look it. So just having a mental breakdown? probably. I picked her up, and felt the cold in her skin. It didn’t affect me but it certainly made me worried-ish for her.

I didn’t know where to take her. Where did she live, where did she come from? I couldn’t just take her with me, could I? No, definitely not. She would scream and argue and thrash as soon as she saw me. Well, I guess I could just say I was a cosplayer. Of some...random obscure villian or something. If she didn’t believe it and thrashed and screamed then I would just kill her. Easy. Take her home, warm her up, take her back to her home, done and easy. I hadn’t done something this kind for someone I considered my food in a very long time.

I adjusted her in my arms, trying not to press on her her or hold her too tight. Trying to hold back strength was not something I had done in an even longer time, and I was not used to it. I’m not sure how long it took to get there, but halfway I noticed the blue of her lips. I took off my sweatshirt and pulled it on over her head, not bothering to stick her arms through. She would retain more heat that way anyways. I’m not sure if i’m warm or cold, so it was a gamble to hold her closer to my chest. I did so anyways and started to jog, wanting to get there before she died.

When we got there I immediately turned on the heat. My house had many functions I didn’t use, although it seemed they finally had a use. I closed all the windows and doors, and grabbed a few blankets the previous (now long dead—like over 100 years dead) home owners had owned and kept in a spare closet. I laid her on the couch, although I wondered if my bed would work better for retaining heat. I figured there was no difference and kept her there, laying blankets on her. She would probably need a warm bath, but I figured she wouldn’t want me to stick her in there for fear of her wet clothes. I didn’t see an issue with undressing her but I vaguely recalled a moment when I walked in on Jane showering. I didn’t see an issue, she hit me with every bottle in there.

I wasn’t sure of what else I could do for her, so I ended up sitting in front of her on the couch. It was a few hours before she woke up, but I was patient. I have time. I wondered if I would have to kill her or not. I wouldn’t want to eat her, so it would be a waste.

🔪Third person P.O.V🌸

She had a short dream. Grey skin, navy blue, hot tar leaking out of holes in the wall, screaming. A lot of fire and singing. Then she didn’t dream at all. When she woke up, she was surprisingly comfortable. Her back hurt a little, and was a little cold, her hands were a bit numb, and she was sleeping on a soft yet bumpy surface. She liked being wrapped in these blankets, but she couldn’t seem to free her hands. They were trapped in something and she was far too weak to move them very much. He was surprisingly amused. She didn’t seem to know what was restricting her arms, and she didn’t seem all too panicked.

He thought her look of frustration was funny. They made eye contact. Kinda. They talked, although they don’t really remember what about. It took a long time, they weren’t sure how long, but eventually they entered a mutual relationship. Falling in love with immortal demons wasn’t something shy girls did.

Yet here she was. Her head in the lap of an immortal demon who she was in fact in love with. She never did end up going into that house, she tried. She tried and tried but the thought of her grandparents not being there when she walked in always stopped her. She always somehow found her way back to Jack’s house. Over and over and over and over again. Somehow she found her way into his lap. He absentmindedly played with her hair, not sure of what was happening on the Tv. He only installed it because she was always bored when he was gone. He didn’t mind the noise, as long as it wasn’t too loud.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had last gone ‘feral’. It seemed crude to call it that, but technically that’s what he did. He planned on never getting into that state as long as Y/N was alive. Or at least around him. He hadn’t eaten in a week. He grimaced, knowing his last helping shouldn’t even of lasted him this long. He needed to go. He needed to hunt. But she seemed so content in his lap, and he knew he wouldn’t turn for at least another week if this continued. He had time. He could let her stay like this. She yawned, and looked up at him, smiling sweetly. He was sure he could feel his chest warm up his entire body.

She sat up and turned to lift up his mask, pecking him lightly on the cheek and giving another sweet smile. He never thought of humans as sweet creatures. But the woman in his lap was very sweet. Sweeter than any human he’d ever killed and tasted. Sweeter than the sugar water BEN had forced down his throat once. She was soft and quiet, until she opened her mouth. She had a lot to say then. He had time. He could listen. He could be patient. He would always be patient with her.

He wasn’t so sure how patient he’d be if he went feral. But swiped that thought out of his head. He wouldn’t go feral. He would hunt tomorrow—that’s what he decided. Sure she’d be by herself for a day or two but she knew the drill. He’d feel a bit bad as she clung to him, hopping he wouldn’t leave. A little guilty as he walked away from her as she held back tears. But she knew the drill.

He sometimes forgot that she didn’t have as much time as him. Forgot that one day she would leave this world and her human body would rot and decay into nothingness. She wouldn’t be sweet anymore. She’d be bones that he’d bury under a tree or some shit. He would pass her grave in a thousand years and he might not remember her voice by then. That thought sent him spiraling.

She would die. She was human. One day her life would end. The thought of him forgetting her voice, the way her kisses taste so sweet, the feel of her hands in his hair as a tv he didn’t give two fucks about droned on in the background. He didn’t want to forget. He never wanted to forget how warm her body was, the only temperature he’d ever actually felt. The only thing he’d ever actually love.

He didn’t want to leave her anymore. He hated leaving her. He’s never loathed anything more than being apart from her and knowing that while he was away, she was aging. She would grow old. Her bones would become brittle, and her eyesight would leave her. He would lose her and have to bury her in the ground. Cover her in dirt while bugs chewed at her corpse.

But he had to go. Or he would lose her even earlier, to himself. That would be unbearable. He would never be able to live thousands of more years peacefully if that happened. He might get over it, after how long. That made him hate himself. He looked down at her, her eyes trained to the Tv ahead of them. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, and when he pulled back she pushed foreward and caught him by the mouth. He couldn’t help but think about how sweet she was.

She pushed him back even farther, and he let her. Her hands pulled him closer, as close as he could get. She would never get enough of him, of how soft he was. His skin was soft, and so was his mouth. She was sure he’d never picked at the skin there like she had. A bad habit that made her lips bleed and harden. It made her self conscious, but Jack never seemed to mind. She was glad. She wasn’t expecting him to pull away and pull off his shirt. Sure, they’d gotten showers together and all that, but that wasn’t an action with sexual intent behind it. They’d never gotten that far. She assumed he never wanted it, or that she wasn’t desirable. Or maybe demon-like creatures like him just weren’t into things like that.

Him pulling her into his lap seemed to tell her otherwise. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. Her mind was a mess. Were they about to have sex? Did he want it? Did she want it? Of couse she did. But did he? Her hands shook, so she gripped his arms, a bit embarrassingly. He probably noticed. He kissed her forehead, sweetly.

“Do you want to?”

She practically gulped. She was incredibly nervous, and her anxiety kept reaching new heights. She’d never even kissed someone before Jack came into her life. She had never been close enough to a person before. This went from 0-100 in minutes. She nodded anyways, but he didn’t seem to believe her.

“Are you sure? You look pale. We don’t have to. We can just go back to cuddling and watching Tv. Okay?”

“No, i’m just nervous. I’ve never done any of this.”

“That’s okay. I don’t think I have either.”

“You don’t think?”

“I don’t remember much of my human life. I might’ve, but who knows?”

That made her laugh a little, even though it was a bit sad. She felt better, but was still nervous. What if He didn’t like her body, or he was grossed out by it? When was even the last time she shaved literally anything on her body? Probably at least a week or two. She was sure he’d find that disgusting.

“We really don’t have to. Especially if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to. But I also haven’t shaved it a while.”

He wanted to laugh at that. That was her reason? He thought it was silly, but if it was serious for her then he’d try to take it seriously too.

“I don’t care about things like that.”

“I haven’t gotten a shower.”

“I don’t care about that either, but if getting a shower and whatever else would make you feel more comfortable then you can do that, obviously. But I really, really, don’t care about any of that stuff.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am positive. It seems a bit shallow to really care about something like that. And I honestly find you beautiful no matter what form to appear in. I would still love you just the same if you were covered in dog shit. I wouldn’t fuck you until you got a bath...but I would still love you.”

He felt like she needed just the right amount of love and validation from him to feel more confident, and he hoped he was making her feel better.

“I love you.”

He smiled at her and replied back with, “I love you too.”

He decided not to add ‘more’ or they would get into a full verbal war over who loved and missed who more. It was endearing to watch her fight over it so seriously, but tiring when it went on for more than thirty minutes.

He kissed her forehead again, waiting for her to make the next move. He wouldn’t do anything if she didn’t want him to something. He tried to be gentle and caring with her at all times, even if he didn’t know what he was doing. Even if it was the opposite of his nature.

She moved a bit cautiously, and he thought it was cute. Her mouth caught his, and he let her lead. He didn’t exactly know what he was doing anyways, so he figured he might as well go with it. She never sped up, so he didn’t either. She pulled off her clothes slowly, and still a bit nervously. He asked her again if she was sure. And she said yes, and kissed him harder.

He waited till she seemed more comfortable, then picked her up and carried her to the bed. The couch looked uncomfortable to her, and he didn’t want that to be a factor in her nervousness. She felt so soft, and he briefly wondered what he did to deserve this. This sweetness.

She held him closer to her, wrapping her legs against his waist. She had the quick thought that even his waist was perfect, and that that wasn’t really fair. His grey skin somehow made him even prettier, and she continued to think that through the whole night. He was gentle with her, even at the cost of his own pleasure. To him, it was worth everything and more to see her writhe under him, gripping onto him like there was no tomorrow. Her nails dug into his back, and she apologized profusely afterwards, even though he absolutely loved it.

He wanted to watch her move like that everyday for the rest of his never ending life. He only focused on her, and the faces she made. She would try to hide her face in his shoulder, or with a hand, but he always pulled it away so he could see. He kissed her everywhere, touched her everywhere, and she returned the favor, even though they really both had no idea what they were doing at first. It was endearing to watch her do her best for him, and Jack thought he’d never need anything else if only he could have her forever.

One day, she would turn to ash. But until then they would spend every moment they had together loving each other beyond comparison. He would spend his every waking moment living for her, until she would live no more.

always strange to return

some call in the dark

For the past two years I’ve studied medicine, it’s what I asked for. I feel so alone all the time. I made friends, sure, but do they know me? Does anyone know me? What do they think of me?

I live every day with this knowledge that I am unlikeable and unloved. That everyone secretly, sort of hates me. What a horrible feeling. It feels so real. How do ever know? Why does it matter so much?

I always say too much or not enough I never know if it’s too much or not enough. I am invited but I don’t want to overstep, I am invited but I do not know if I am welcome. I take up so much space. I am taller and wider than the people around me. I eat more than them and I require more space for my legs. My family is weird and there are things we don’t talk about but I feel like they define me.

There are things that aren’t normal but it feels like they are until I am reminded they aren’t. How many people can divest themselves from their family.

I know my paternal great grandfather was a butcher and that he came from hungary and I know that my great grandmother from russia came and was admited to psychiatric stays. How much of it was that she was a woman and how much of it was that she needed to heal? My grandmother hated my mom and my uncle and resented them so much. That my mother married an abusive man until he left her one day with no warning and she moved to california and worked as a dancer because her parents were awful. My uncle moved across the world to france had a partner that he loved who killed himself after a diagnosis and my uncle has never healed and is closed off emotionally. My mom was on drugs our whole childhood. she always tried. She was sober and she was so wonderful from when I was 27 to 29. I will remember those two years with her. She does drugs again now, and is always high. She also has the same diagnosis and it makes her sad and sick. My grandfather was a lawyer and my grandmother is a social worker. I love them but I hate them too. 

My dad has been so many things in his life. A car theif that was sent to vietnam, a laborer, a painter, a motorcycle technician, a foreman, in jail, a drug dealer, an oil driller, a dad. I also love him but resent him for how emotionally closed off he is. The history of our family and ourselves. My grandma was left by my grandpa who left my dad and started a new family and adopted his new wifes children who stopped taking care of him when he was old. My dad tried so hard to be his friend again but his brain had stopped being functional. I lived with him for two and a half years and it was too much for me. I tried my best to take care of him but I was so young and he always told me stories about WW2 that I didn’t want to hear. My grandma died when I was 17 or 18 and it was horrible my Aunt was supposed to take care of her but we think she didn’t and my grandma died of complications. My Aunt is sick in the head and was never able to overcome her depression and obesity and I miss her but she was manipulative. My dad gave her money for a long time to try and care for her but one day she got a lot of money from the state and instead of paying him back she bought a trailer and left the state and never talked to any of us ever again.  My best memory of her is when I was a little kid and she told me that wind chimes are the sound of angels of those we have lost reminding us that they love us, and how to do witchcraft and respect the earth. 

My dad always told me he was protestant because his dad was but he never said anything religious except for that he believed in god and we celebrate christmas and easter, but I never knew why, really. My mom is Jewish but ish and her parents had my uncle bar mitvah’d but not my mom and my mom did not for my sister or me. We celebrated passover and we celebrated hannukah and we went to jewish preschool and had jewish friends but never studied torah or went to temple on a regular basis. The only prayer we know is the candle prayer on hannukah. 

Why are these stories so important to me? My dad had a hard time growing up. His older sister was his savior and she got married and pregnant and was killed in a car accident and I never got to meet the only person my dad admired. She died when he was a teenager and it changed his life for the worse. He has been involved with weird people and gangs. Now he is lonely and has no friends. My mom also has no friends. She suffers from depression and mania so much. She always has. I tried so hard to take care of my little sister and keep her safe when my parents couldn’t see what was happening.

She is safe now and so successful and I am so proud of her. I hope that I helped her. My heart is so heavy. So much pain and I guess this stuff isn’t normal. But isn’t it normal to be touched by suicide and drugs and jail and crime and depression? Isn’t that all part of the human condition? Isn’t it normal to have your dad be arrested when you’re 8 and go to motorcycle school for 2 years? You know it’s jail because you go to visit but you agree to play along that he is learning more about motorcycles. Isn’t it normal to have his friends steal from his business and his dad drive the business into the ground? Isn’t it normal for your grandparents to not want to help, isn’t it normal for your mom to starve herself so that you can eat? 

Isn’t it normal to realize you love girls and boys and your one connection to queerness hates children and has no time for you and is emotionally disconnected because the person he loved is dead. Isn’t it normal for his new partner to hate you and be cruel to your mom until your only familial connection to queerness is completely cut off. Isn’t it normal to be abandonned by the skinny white girls in your girlscout troupe when their skinny white moms learn that your mom works as a dancer and your dad is in jail - and isn’t it normal for them to exclude you when you are 10 and have gained too much weight because your mom gives you mcdonalds and doughnuts and pizza and apple pie. As much apple pie as you want because you like it, and when she was a kid her parents starved her because they were so wrapped up in their own shit that they wouldn’t buy enough groceries. That they owned two homes but wouldn’t buy their daughter new clothes so she was always an outcast. So then my mom wanted to make sure that anything I liked I had too much of. So when I was hungry I would lie because I knew she wasn’t eating so that we could. And when I ate it was unhealthy but I was 10 so how was I supposed to know better? Is it any wonder I get scared about having enough food? 

Isn’t it normal to fall in love fast then, when you are 13 and scared of the world. Isn’t it normal to be betrayed by your best friend in the world and overreact when they fall in love with the same person you love? Isn’t it normal to be filled with guilt and regret that the canyon you built between you and the person that mattered is still there even though you still blow kisses from across the cliffs? 

Isn’t it normal to fall into the arms of an abusive white boy that bruises your arms and insults you and tells you that you’ll never be anything and isn’t it normal to love him even though he smells like the sweat of the sick and sucks the blood of your soul from you like a swarm of lice. A demon that hurts you and you seek love, the rare, rare, love. Isn’t it normal to love him even though he dresses like the people that killed your family in hungary and in russia, and to fear him. But isn’t it lucky that he cheated on you and abandoned you because you were too broken to stop talking to him otherwise. But another best friend still loves him and she leaves you for him anyway. 

Isn’t it normal to fail out of high school because when you kissed a girl you were heckled and your friends kept trying to kill themselves and sometimes someone you knew would succeed and sometimes someone you knew would end up in the same kind of hospital your great grandmother ended up in and isn’t it normal to take a lot of aspirins because you might as well join them and isn’t it normal to be threatened with the same thing. Isn’t it normal to be fifteen and to have marks all up and down your arms and to be wearing the biggest black hoodie in 90 weather in new york city looking at the testament to the exclusive modern art spiral of a museum that gate keeps anyone not white and male from art and to say - maybe I want to be a doctor. and she says. you’re not smart enough for that. 

to decide that the only thing you can ever do is produce art because I guess according to her and other people in my life that my brain will only ever be good at one thing, and the insults that I am flaky and dumb and fat only allow me to sit alone with a pen and paper. 

Is it all this that affects me every day? Is it all this that drives me? Is it normal? Does anyone else have this? I don’t want to be alone anymore. I just want someone to tell me this is normal. I just want someone to tell me they had this too. I just want someone to tell me that it’s okay that I’m anxious and scared because of 20 years of emotionally abusive relationships. How did I find the nicest man then? That’s luck. And how did my grandma start believing in me then? that’s luck I guess, and my dad came home and even though he’s mean he pays for everything. and how is it that I’m never hungry anymore my pantry is full and 

I’m going to school to be a doctor and how is that I still don’t feel good enough, how is it that I still feel like a burden to anyone I tell my story to

is this even my story? or the stories of people that live inside me? or the stories of people I have let into my heart. it’s just a little bit too. it’s just a little bit. 

medical school hurts. 

how do you grapple with all of these things inside you

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 9

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

Welcome to the flashback chapter. Fun and daises for everyone! 

...what’s that? We’re gonna get terrifying tragedy and endless heartache, not fun and daises? oh.

Well. Onward?

Last time on VnC, Vanitas was having sexy bloodtimes with Jeanne while Charlatan was digging through Noé‘s head for kicks and giggles.

And everything in Noé’s head, apparently, revolves around this kid named Louis, who happens to be Domi’s older brother. It is time, ladies and gents, to meet Unnerving Boy.

Look at these precious children, they hardly look creepy at all.

Teacher seems a bit flake-y, but he’s looking pretty good for a grandpa. (are some vampires immortal? how long do they live?)

So we know Teacher bought Noé, the last Archiviste, off the black market. Somehow, I don’t think it was because he just really wanted to adopt a kid. I mean, he’s already got two right there.

Oh my gosh, Domi is shy. And look at Noé clutching at Teacher’s arm, aw. Even Louis seems like a nice kid.

I take it back, LOUIS YOU ARE STILL CREEPY. AND KIND OF A JERK.

But he also knows Something is up about his grandfather. Teacher’s interest in Noé will probably not be a good thing for Noé himself.

The chapter is subtitled ‘Friends’ but like. I think you can find better friends than this Noé, I’m just saying.

Noé being raised by humans before this point is interesting. I’m guessing we’re in Averoigne, in the vampire world. (exactly how big is the vampire world...?) (and is the assumption here that vampires always give birth to other vampires?)

Note for Noé‘s timeline, as it seems likely to become important -- he was found in the human world crying by himself during winter when he was very young. Geez, that’s a mystery in itself.

Uh, humans aren’t the ones who regularly consume the bodily fluids of other people, buddy.

woah, Noé‘s got a good arm for a little kid, good job, Noé --

The adopted grandparents knew about vampires, hm? More specifically, they knew Noé was a vampire. Was this because they knew more about the situation than little Noé was aware, or was his nature just hard to hide when he was that young?

One thing is sure -- they treated him well.

He made Noé cry. Keep glaring at him, Domi. (I feel like this is the first inkling we’re getting of who Domi will become when she’s older.) (Actually. Current!Domi is a lot more like Louis than she is like past!Domi. Starting to wonder if that’s a deliberate change on her part, along with the more masculine clothes. She dose survive the massacre her brother dies in, after all, that has to have left an impression.)

And now we find out if it’s possible to guilt Louis into acting like a decent human vampire being.

Hey, it is! There’s hope for you yet, kid.

That last panel “I thought we’d be together forever, but...” has a double meaning. Noé’s talking about his grandparents (grandpa got sick and died, grandma passed in her sleep shortly after), but the narrative is whispering that it applies to this little trio, too.

1. Was Noé completely by himself after his grandparents died?

2. ...the vampires kidnap humans and force them into labor in the vampire world?? Blood source, too, I imagine.

3. Look at that bed, that bed is amazing. I want one.

4. The vampires don’t seem to have many compunctions about selling their own kind, either.

5. The background of the purchase scene is weird. Those are awfully fancy curtains. I’m thinking gaudy, horrifying auction.

Oh my god, this precious bean hasn’t changed at all.

So this is a very cute and humanizing moment for Louis, but it’s also a very Vanitas-ish moment. Vanitas does this, the unexpected and uncontrollable laughter thing, all the time. Which means I am now going to be looking for Vanitas parallels everywhere.

A bonding montage~

Louis turns into less of a jerk -- we see him helping Noé up into his tree and helping Noé with his reading. Domi delights in dressing Noé up in feminine clothes (reminding me of that little flashback of her teaching him to dance where she was dressed in masculine threads.) They even sleep in a cuddle pile with Domi curled up against Noé and Louis acting like he’s trying to put some distance between them but he’s still there, you aren’t fooling anyone, kid. (and he’s getting hit in the head by a sleeping Noé for his pains, heh.)

There’s one more picture: Teacher comes back with presents. Domi and Noé are cheering, but Louis wanders over all cool and disinterested. But remember what Louis said at the beginning of the chapter -- “Having my grandfather take a shine to you...you poor thing.”

Louis distrusts his grandfather. He knows something we -- and Domi and Noé -- don’t.

...yeah, that fun ain’t gonna last. Also, how much you want to bet the ‘secret base’ is gonna be where all the heads start rolling. (it’s chekov’s base!)

(are they playing dress up with Teacher’s clothes?)

Hey, Louis, you see how innocent and simple that blood exchange was? Unlike whatever it was you were doing in that other flashback.

Though we are seeing this from Noé‘s POV. The incidents might look different because Noé perceived them as being different, emotionally. It would mesh with how he sees Domi as ‘just a friend’ and Louis as this mysterious, complicated, unnerving, compelling tragedy who haunts him to this day. (also it’s pretty gay, lbr.)

Domi’s crush is so cute. And pfff, Louis, you thought you were gonna get out of it that easily, especially after you made fun of Domi like that? Nah, bro.

This is the point where we remember that Louis is just a little kid, too. One who has been dealt a crap hand we don’t know about yet, and is probably acting out in small ways in reaction to that.

This would be why Domi feels more sheltered than Louis. Though I do wonder, if Domi is making monthly trips, why isn’t sister Veronica shown, too?

Firstly, what the hell, family de Sade.

Secondly...this feels like one of those Sneaky Pages. I’m assuming that hand in the left most panel is Louis’ and that the last panel is those pages catching Louis’ (almost shaken looking) eye.

Lastly -- the kids are growing up. I’d guess we’re into the pre-teen years by now.

Noé, you’re making her dance under the symbol of the vampire bogeyman, have a care, would you.

We’ve seen this flashback before, too, so we’ve just about hit all of them. Except for, you know, the Big One.

(oh, no, wait, there was a mini-flashback of Noé training with Teacher, but he was a teen in that one. When did Noé start training? Why did Noé start training?)

Louis can see right through his grandfather, has ALWAYS been able to see right through him.

I’m glad that panel in the library was resolved so quickly, though. Saves me from going nuts about details, lol.

So this is a very Kid reaction to bad family news, but like, he might be right? Louis is cynical by nature, but also very sharp. If at this point he thinks his parents had Domi to replace him then -- I think I believe him.

Grandfather just fucking smiles at him. Grandfather is a dick.

And then the teeth come out.

“You have no luck. Having my grandfather take a shine to you...you poor thing.”

Look at those tendrils of darkness reaching out for Louis. And they’re coming from Grandfather.

Grandfather is sending a very clear message: he is here as an observer. Grandfather is not going to interfere with anything Louis wants to do. He’s not going to give him any help, either. And something bad is going to happen to Louis -- he’s going to do something bad. Louis now knows for sure that his family expects him to turn into a monster and not one of them is going to try to help him.

This whole bucolic paradise is an experiment with Louis as the test rat.

And why?

Because Louis is a curse-bearer from birth, or shortly thereafter. How did that happen? Why isn’t he showing any symptoms yet? The implication seems to be that he’s a ticking time-bomb, but is he?

(and if Louis is the test rat...does that mean Domi is the control?)

Noé says that after this day, little by little, Louis started acting (*cough*more*cough*) strange.

By which he means... Louis took up wood-carving? Louis is carving a piece of wood, Noé asks what he’s doing, Louis says it’s a secret.

The way to Noé‘s heart is through gifts, got it.

We know why Louis is acting this way, but Noé has no clue. But though Domi’s presence started to cause Louis pain, Noé doesn’t say anything about Louis taking it out on Domi herself, which is a big point in his favor, imo.

Unhealthy (?) coping mechanism, check.

The one person who tried to help him.

Louis was finally going to tell Noé what’s wrong with him.

I know I drag Louis a lot, but I do like him. He’s clever and dry and is so alone because the adults that were supposed to protect him wrote him off when he was days old.

Of course he came out weird and morbid. And unlike other characters I could mention (*cough*Vincent*cough*) he hasn’t resorted to taking his pain out on stuffed animals or cats or his little sister. This kid isn’t a lost cause at all, he’s just lost.

Those brittle edges can still cut though --

Aaaaaand here we go. This is what sets it all off, what brings the happy memories to an end.

Now that Domi’s older, I wonder...does she know Louis is a curse-bearer? Did someone finally tell her?

This is the thing Louis has been living with since he found those papers in the library. You know, on top of the whole “gonna turn into a rabid monster” thing.

But Noé, he can only read this as callousness toward their friend. He doesn’t know Louis is talking about himself.

Remember in Orlok’s office, when Noé snapped at the thought that they wouldn’t be able to save Amelia? How he did a complete 180 with Vanitas, making *him* come along with *Noé* because he was going to do what it took to save Amelia, no matter what?

Yeah. That reflex (and trauma, because he didn’t save Mina, did he) was born here.

(”save me, then, if you can”)

He doesn’t get to save Louis, either.

Berserk button that will shape Noé and follow him into adulthood: officially installed.

Domi chases Noé out of the room, saying she wants to help save Mina, too. She’s the one who comes up with the only plan they have, bare as it is -- they’ll ask the other village kids for help to somehow get Mina out of the village.

Oh hey, remember the secret base? As he asks around for where Noé and Domi went (the servants don’t know), he realizes that must be where they went with Mina.

“...they didn’t --!” he says once he’s figured it out.

Louis is frightened. And then...

Louis’ curse is manifesting. (that typesetting, though...some things don’t work across languages, YP)

And Mina’s curse manifests, too.

This is a classic zombie movie scene. The survivors don’t know they’ve let in an infected until it’s too late and they start to turn, taking bites out of everyone else.

Let’s run with the infection metaphor. For people like Amelia (and Mina? hard to say), Charlatan finds them and ‘infects’ them by corrupting their true name. Infection to manifestation doesn’t seem to take much time at all, maybe a few weeks.

But for people like Louis, who are born with the curse, it needs to be triggered by desperation or desire and may lay dormant for years.

It is Charlatan in his mind, though -- see the finger-claws? But I wonder if ‘Charlatan’ isn’t a single entity per se, but a creature more like PH’s Humpty Dumpty that is spread out among multiple hosts.

This desire and the manifestation of Louis’ curse is what Grandfather was waiting for. The most heartbreaking part of all this is that the desire that finally triggered it was Louis’ desperation to protect his friends.

Mina went full zombie and took a chunk out of Fred’s throat. She lunged for Noé and Domi, but was knocked aside. And then we see this -- Louis half turned, Mina’s ripped off head in his hand.

But look at his hands. Those claws remind you of anything? Say...Vanitas’ gloves?

The difference is, these claws are very real.

And now, Louis starts to lose control.

Out of his mind, he attacks Giles and Fanny, killing them as Noé watches in horror, unable to do anything.

He tries to get through to Louis, asking if Louis is doing this because Noé didn’t listen to him earlier (Noé.) and that he was sorry and he takes the blame, all he wants is Louis is to go back to normal again.

He knows what happened to him, he doesn’t want to be like this.

Were any of the other curse-bearers half this aware and coherent?

That’s his last wish. That’s his --

Nope, I’m sorry, I’m done, this is all terrible, goodbye.

of course he can’t do it, he’s like 12 and this is his best friend, this is a fucking tragedy

This flashback is painful, how long have they known each other? Five years, more? Half their lives?

....I’m just numb at this point

what the fuck was that

I knew that Louis died at the end of this, but who was that? The bourreau meant to come for Mina?

Grandfather is a piece of shit

(part of me wants to look at that last panel and make comparisons to that one early, creepy panel of Break with Gil and how Break ended up not being a bad guy, but no, no. Grandfather is a piece of shit. HE KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. HE WAS WAITING FOR IT.)

(I really wish I knew for sure what color that moon is. what if it’s blue? what would that mean?)

where is child services, please god, someone take these children away from this man and put them in therapy

ugh. alright. before we close, couple more things I wanted to think about.

1. Louis’ curse obviously worked much differently than the other curses we’ve seen. suppose that’s because his curse WAS different? could he have been another Blue Moon vampire, another Vanitas in the making?

(this bit is pure speculation, but I’ve been wondering if Vanitas’ gloves are an affectation he picked up from the Blue Moon Vampire, like the name, and now we’ve just seen Louis’ hands go full claw when the curse overcame him. could be a link between the two.)

2. We’ve seen how this incident has scarred Noé, but what about Domi? She was there but we haven’t really seen how -- ...oh. Oh, I forgot. It’s the clothes. Even the personality, a bit. Domi reacted to the violent death of her brother by trying to become more like him. She’s not entirely like him, she’s still Domi, but. Ugh. Ugggghhh. I already knew this, but I didn’t know it, ugh.

3. Grandfather/Teacher (I’ll go back to calling him Teacher after this chapter, I think) deliberately threw Noé and Louis together. Why, we don’t know. (part of me is thinking he’s using Noé the Archiviste as his freaking camera, but who knows.)

Here’s what we do know -- he is ALSO the one who threw Noé and Vanitas together. For some reason. (it won’t be a good reason)

4. Vanitas and Louis are distinct characters with a few striking similarities between them, but I think their biggest difference is that, underneath his manic energy, Vanitas is Tired™, while, under his morbidity, Louis is Tired of This Shit™. It’s a slight but important distinction.

5. Remember that look of wonder on Noé‘s face in chapter one when he saw that Vanitas could cure curse-bearers. Yeah. Yeah, that has a new layer to it now, doesn’t it.

And that’s it for chapter 9. Did you have fun? I did not have fun.

See you next time for chapter 10, folks.

(Chapter 10 now HERE.)

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

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Basic Facts || Oliver Watson

What is Your Character’s Name?  Oliver Watson

How does the character feel about his or her name?  It's a name. I don't feel about it one way or another.

How did he or she get this name? Was it passed on from a family member, or did the parents read it on the side of a cereal box the day the child was born?  I'm pretty sure my mother just liked olives. But "Olive" is a girl name, so. I don't know for sure, I never asked.

What is the meaning of the name?  Doesn't it just come from the word 'olive'? An olive tree farmer? An olive-r?

What culture did the name originate from?  I don't know. It's probably English.

What regions of the world did the name come from?  ...Europe?

What connotations or stereotypes does the name have?  I don't know. It's an old-fashioned name, or a dog name. I've been told "my grandpa has that name" and "I know a dog with that name" a lot.

How old is your character?  25

When was he or she born?  September 9, 1989

What events were happening locally, nationally and globally the year your character was born?  I don't know. I was a baby. [Tiananmen Square Massacre, Voyager 2 discovers Neptune’s moons and rings]

What is the zodiac sign?  I'm a Virgo.

Does his or her zodiac sign have any bearing on their personality traits?  I don't believe in that stuff. [Extremely work oriented and takes on more tasks than they should because they believe they're the best at it. Detail oriented. Conservative at heart. Loyal]

What Chinese Horoscope year were they born in?  There are Chinese-specific zodiacs? [Snake]

How does this influence their personality traits?  I didn't even know there were Chinese zodiacs. [Intuitive, Strong self control] 

How does your character like to celebrate his or her birthday?  When I was little I was lucky if I got a card or some money. Now I get showered with homemade gifts from the twins, and even Dennis never forgets to buy me a card on my birthday, which is nice. 

What does your character look like?  An average white guy, I guess. [Luke Treadaway]

Is your character Athletic or Overweight? Tall or Short?  I'm kinda skinny but strong cause I work with car parts all day. Average height for a dude. [5'11'' 150lbs]

Hair color and length?  Brown hair. Normal length for a guy? It's a little long right now cause I haven't cut it. [His hair is usually too long and he needs to get a haircut but he doesn't have time]

Eye color?  Are they green? Hazel-ish? I've also been told gray. 

Any scars or birth marks?  I have some scars on my arms and hands, from working. And some birthmarks on my back. And this one on the inside of my [right] elbow. [He also has some scars on his back from childhood trauma.]

Does your character have a physical disability?  No.

What actress or actor would you have play the role of your character if it was a movie?  I have never thought about this. I mean, any average actor will do. [Luke Treadaway lol]

What style of clothes does your character wear?  Regular clothes. T-shirts and Jeans from whatever store is having a sale. At work I wear the coveralls. 

What clothes would he or she wear every day on a casual basis? T-shirts, hoodies, jeans.

For a night out on the town? I can't remember the last time I went out 'on the town'. Probably some nicer jeans, and a nicer t-shirt.

To bed? Gym shorts and a t-shirt.

Does he or she wear any special jewelry or accessories? Can't wear jewelry 'cause of work. I did have a watch that was my father's that I liked, but my mother pawned it for some drug money when I was in high school. 

What type of shoes does your character wear? Boots at work, sneakers at other times.They always seem to be falling apart.

Where does your character live? Darby, Pennsylvania. It's a suburb right outside of Philly.

Is it an Apartment? House? In the backseat of his car? It's a townhouse.

How does your character feel about the current living arrangements? It's a little tight. We could probably use another room, but it could be worse. [The twins share a room with Dennis. Dennis decided he'd rather live with the twins than share the small bedroom with Oliver.]

Does your character live with anyone else? Who are those people? My three younger siblings. Dennis, Aiden and Emma.

How does your character get along with his or her neighbors? My upstairs neighbors change every few years because they tend to be college kids. My downstairs neighbor is very friendly, and babysits the twins for me on nights I work I appreciate her. My right side neighbor also has young kids so the kids are friends. My left side neighbors... I don't see very often. [His left side neighbors are narcotics dealers]

What is the view outside of your character's window? A Tree, the townhouse courtyard and the parking lot.

What items do they keep next to their bed? My phone, a lamp, a bottle of Advil and a book.

What is your character's most valuable possession? I try not to get attached to possessions. It's an old habit. But I guess I'm pretty fond of the guitar, even if I don't really play it much.

What does the character do for a living? I'm a mechanic at this dingy auto repair shop downtown.

Do they find this work enjoyable? It's alright. It's a job. And I've been working there since I was like 11 so.

What is your character's dream job? I haven't thought about it. I'm alright with the job I have now. [He doesn't have time to think about dreams and dream jobs he's got mouths to feed]

What is your character's financial situation? Not great. But I have neighbors who are way worse off than I am so I can't complain. [Oliver makes around $25,000 a year.]

What does your character spend most of his/her money on? The necessities. Food for everyone. Rent, bills, clothes for the kids.

What would your character do if he or she won the lottery? Send the kids to college with it, I guess. Or blow it all on a trip to Disney or something.

What is your character's highest level of education? I didn't graduate from high school.

What things do they wish were different about their current profession? I try not to think about things like that. [He wishes he worked at a better mechanic, somewhere with better and safer equipment and possibly upward mobility. But he would need to go to a technical school for that and he cannot go.]

Who are his or her parents?  My mother passed away three years ago, and I don't know where my father is. He's probably dead too, to be honest.

Does he or she have any siblings? I have three younger siblings. Dennis, who's 9 years younger than me and the twins, Aiden and Emma, who are 22 years younger.

A spouse or other romantic partner or love interest? Ha. No.

How about children? I adopted my siblings when my mother died so technically I have three kids.

Other family? Aunts? Uncles? Second Cousins Twice Removed? No. I never met any of my mother's family and I don't know where my father's family is. [He believes his mother was estranged, and when his father left, she, Oliver, and Dennis became estranged from that family as well.]

How does your character feel about family functions and events? There're no family functions and events.

Who are your character's closest friends? My co-workers, I guess.

How did your character meet his or her best friend? I don't have one. Never did. [true story. Oliver always had trouble making friends and it became worse as he got older.]

What do they value most in friendship? Someone I can depend on? I don't know. [it's all theoretical]

Does your character make friends easily? All evidence points to no.

What was your character's first romantic encounter like? ...I don't want to talk about this. [Oliver's first and only relationship was with his High School history teacher at the age of 14. It ended with the teacher committing suicide while on the phone with Oliver.]

How does your character display affection? I don't know. [With Rudy, Oliver was very physically and emotionally clingy. He needed reassurance of their relationship constantly and was frequently jealous. But this probably isn't an accurate representation of what he would be like in an actual, consensual relationship.]

What is your character's idea of a perfect romantic date? No. [Being outside in public with someone that he is dating would be nice.]

Has your character ever had his or her heart broken? Hasn't everybody?

What qualities does your character look for in a romantic partner? I don't. [Oliver needs someone who can also be a caretaker of his three kids and understand his history. But he would never put that burden on anybody so he won't look for a romantic partner.]

Does your character have any pets? What type? No.

What are your characters favorite animals? Manta rays are pretty cool. I saw them in an aquarium once.

How many times has your character visited the zoo? I think we went there on a school trip once.

What are his or her favorite foods to eat? I like buttered noodles.

Does he or she enjoy to cook? It's alright. [Oliver gets satisfaction in feeding his siblings and would enjoy cooking so much more if he had all the ingredients/proper equipment in the kitchen. Right now it feels very survivor-y so it's hard to enjoy.]

Any food allergies or sensitivities? No. [Dennis is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts so Oliver hasn't had any nuts in 15 years though.]

What foods can he or she not stand to be around or eat? I don't like fish or any sea food. [Except shrimp]

How does your character spend a lazy Sunday afternoon? What lazy Sunday? I'm wrestling with everyone trying to get them to finish their homework.

What are their favorite places to go when alone? I can't remember the last time I was alone. [Oliver would really love to go back to the aquarium to look at the Manta Rays.]

With friends? What friends?

Where would your character like to travel? Someplace quiet with the ocean.

How does he or she want to get there? Maybe one day when everybody's moved out. If I make it that far.

Does your character have preferences on types of lodging? If it's got a bed, it's good.

What are your characters favorite movies and TV shows? I watch a lot of trash TV and trash movies because it helps me turn my brain off.

What are their favorite actors and actresses? Chris Evans as Captain America. Idris Elba.

How often do they watch movies and/or television? The TV is always on. I usually watch for a little while after the twins go to bed and before I go to sleep.

What television shows or movies do you think they would enjoy most? Like I said. I like trashy TV. Like reality shows. Marvel movies are good too.

What are your character's favorite music and songs? Classic rock is ok. I like acoustic stuff.

What genre of music would you find your character most likely listening to? I usually listen to whatever the other guys put on at the shop. [Oliver likes acoustic covers of rock songs]

When do they listen to music? In the car? While working?  The radio or somebody's Spotify is always playing at the repair shop. [Oliver likes to sit in the car in silence. It's the only time it's ever quiet.

What artists and bands does your character enjoy listening to?  I don't know. Whatever's on the radio?

Would your character go to a concert and enjoy it? Who paid for this?

Does your character play any musical instruments? I own a guitar.

What are his or her favorite books? I don't really like books that much.

What books are on his or her bookshelf at home? Children's books the kids got as presents from school. Harry Potter. Some comic books and some books on cars.

What titles does he or she borrow from the library? I don't have a library card.

What genre of books does your character enjoy reading? Romance Fiction? Non-fiction? Thriller Crime Novels? Historical Fiction? Self-help? Poetry? Some Sci-fi. Mostly books about how things work.

What is your character's favorite quote and why? Shit happens.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.  I was tagged by Nia @aqhrodites and Alex @vivaldei!

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My little brother  3. Text message: My group members from class  4. Song you listen to: Faith // George Michael  5. Time you cried: This morning 

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope  8. Been cheated on: No  9. Lost someone special: Yeah, my grandpa  10. Been depressed: I don’t think so honestly 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Haven’t had enough alcohol at once to do that 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Burgundy  13. Blue (any shade really)  14. Heather grey 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah!  16. Fallen out of love: No  17. Laughed until you cried: Definitely  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope  20. Found out who your friends are: I already knew who my friends were  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Lmao no 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them except for a few.  23. Do you have any pets: Yeah. I have 5 dogs.  24. Do you want to change your name: If and when I eventually get married, I’m definitely changing my last name to my future husband’s.  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Not much. Just went out to lunch with my mom and I think a little shopping.  26. What time do you wake up: I try to wake up at around 7:30 each morning, but as of late, my sleep schedule is so fucked that it’s not happening lol  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Finally going to bed  28. Name something you can’t wait for: Financial stability and finally finishing college  29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: Earlier this week  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My wardrobe & love life  31. What are you listening to right now: My fan making my room cooler  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Briefly. My parent’s have a friend name Tom and I only said a few words to him.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Tbh what isn’t? I’ve been more irritable than normal lately. Drama on this hellsite, my family, school, etc.  34. Most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook  35. Mole/s: I don’t have any  36. Mark/s: A lot of scars. One on my right arm, the back of my left hand, a few on each knee, on my right foot. A few stand-out freckles on my face, fingers and arms.  37. Childhood dream: Olympic softball player and mom  38. Hair color: Brown with natural blonde-ish highlights  39. Long or short hair: Longer, but not too long  40. Do you have a crush on someone: A celebrity? Totally. A celebrity’s not as famous friend? You betcha. A non-celebrity? Lol no  41. What do you like about yourself: That I have a good heart.  42. Piercings: Standard ear piercings and one cartilage on my left ear. I want to get my nose pierced though sooo that might happen soon.  43. Blood type: I don’t know it. I mean, I got blood work done a few years ago, but I never found out my blood type.  44. Nicknames?: Only a few family members and close friends call me CC and that’s it.  45. Relationship status: Single af  46. Zodiac: Libra  47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: MacGyver, Bones, Castle, CSI, Friends, NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans, The Flash & a bunch more 50. Right or left hand: I’m left-handed  51. Surgery: Does getting my wisdom teeth taken out count  52. Hair dyed in different color: I haven’t dyed my hair in almost 2 years. I used to dye it reeaaallly dark brown or black for a while.  53. Sport: I’ve played softball, soccer, and volleyball. Softball for 10 years, soccer for 7 years, and volleyball for 2 years.  55. Vacation: Dream vacation would be Spain, Greece, Italy, or Portugal.  56. Pair of trainers: I have so many pairs of shoes, yet I wear the same pair almost every day. My Vans Sk8-his. 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just finished eating waffle-cut french fries  58. Drinking: water  59. I’m about to: Watch a YouTube video & go feed my mom’s horse.  62. Want: A different job that doesn’t occasionally give me anxiety/put me on edge thinking about it.  63. Get married: Absolutely.  64. Career: I’ve been doing a lot of second-guessing lately. But I think I still want to be a nurse? If not, maybe a teacher or something  65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I’ve never been kissed soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes  67. Shorter or taller: I find taller people more attractive. I also sometimes wish I was just a bit shorter.  68. Older or younger: As long as the person is of legal age and not too young (like 3 years) or too old (no more than like 7 years... maybe), I’m cool with it.   70. Nice arms or nice stomach: It doesn’t matter that much tbh   71. Sensitive or loud: Both  72. Hook up or relationship: Preferably a relationship  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Why not both ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Nope  75. Drank hard liquor: Only sips  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear them  77. Turned someone down: Nope.  78. Sex on the first date: Ehhh I mean if it happens, it happens I guess  79. Broken someone’s heart: Lol me? No way  80. Had your heart broken: Not really. I was upset and disappointed.  81. Been arrested: No  82. Cried when someone died: Yeah.  83. Fallen for a friend: He was my friend until high school, then he stopped talking to me for some reason. He’s a little bitch anyway 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: Sometimes  85. Miracles: A little  86. Love at first sight: No, in my opinion, you have to get to know someone before you can love them.  87. Santa Claus: I did for a while, not anymore though. Sometimes I wish he were real    88. Kiss on the first date: If the feeling is right, then yeah 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Katie, Amanya, Haven, Heather (even though some of us aren’t as close as we used to be, I still consider them bffs)  91. Eye color: Brown  92. Favorite movie: Footloose, The Sandlot, Monster’s Inc., Toy Story Trilogy, Back To The Future Trilogy, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, X-Men: First Class, X-Men: Apocalypse, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Proposal, Wonder Woman, and a lot more 

tagging: @scooterspring, @skywalkingdixon, @pizzaplanethq, @destinies-are-troublesome-things, @antiopeofthemyscira, @wyattoliwablazkowicz, @rax-writes​ and anyone else who wants to do this! you don’t have to if you don’t want to because I understand that this is a lot to answer

I was my grandpa’s granddaughter, his only one really (my cousin Harmony, who’s been a transgender man since I was in pre-school, doesn’t count). I have so many memories with him, mainly sitting at the kitchen table during breakfast or lunch and he’d tell me so many science-y things; he had his doctorate in nuclear science, so from a young age I was exposed to hearing about how a fission reactor works or incidences like Chernobyl or Three Mile Island. Like Madame Curie, what he loved killed him: I still remember that phone call from after Christmas 2005 saying “grandpa has a tumor in his brain the size of a softball” What did they do? they gave him more radiation as a treatment. He died just a few months later, that March.

You all are lucky that I’m such a forgiving person: I see no point to commemorating every March 6 and reliving that grief like what my dad’s family does. They don’t talk about grandpa all year until today, they don’t even mention him or what he did over the nearly 80 years he lived on this Earth, and they’re dysfunctional because of it. What’s worse is they won’t let it go, no matter how times I tell them that it’s getting pretty silly with each year away from 2006. But I don’t feel grief anymore; I accepted several years ago that all I have are my memories and a college chemistry book he gave me in 5th grade-ish.

I will say this: it was that year I lost all respect for the Jehovah’s Witnesses (don’t get me wrong: if you’re a JW or aspire to be, be my guest; just don’t expect me to be reading Watchtower magazine any time soon). That was also the year I hoped that we would find a more effective treatment for cancer besides throwing a fuckton of nasty chemicals and horrific amounts of radiation at it. I’ll also say this: the Witnesses don’t believe in cremation, and yet, grandpa was cremated. His ashes were separated into separate urns: one to my dad, one to his mother, and the others to his siblings. In Native American lore, when you die, and you’re cremated, and your ashes are separated, your soul is never at rest. What’s ironic is the Witnesses also don’t believe in souls: they believe when you die, that’s it. There’s no “soul”, there’s no “spirit”, which I always found ridiculous because your soul is who you are, and who are they to say that you don’t have a soul? I can also confirm: ghosts exist. But I just find it hilarious that they don’t believe in ghosts and yet the ghost of grandpa still haunts them.

Anyways.. rest well, Grandpa. See you on the other side. Love, Missy Sue.

Date: July 1st 2014 Location: Adamo Lombardi’s apartment in Boston. Trigger Warning: Super short mentions of death/grief, Adamo being a decent person (!!!). Notes: This is kinda from her brother’s point of view? Ish? I really wanted to dig deeper in their good moments, so have some pointless fluff between these little pieces of maple syrup taffy. You can click on the song titles to listen to them if you want! Also, this got super long but that’s my brand and everyone knows that by now. ily all <3

“I invited you to move out with me, not to make my ears bleed, you tiny monster.”

Sandrine’s head appeared from the mountain of boxes piled up around her. Her glare was icy and she could swear she almost noticed lasers coming out of her eyes. “How dare you insult Lana Del Rey? She’s is the best thing that happened to the music industry since Britney Spears.”

“Go back to your country!” Adamo threatened playfully as his sister repeated Fucked My Way Up to The Top for the hundredth time on the tiny radio she insisted on squeezing somewhere in her luggages. She insisted on bringing this and her entire collection of CDs, although he promised he’d show her how to use iTunes. He gave up when she could not even spot which app it was on her phone.

“Don’t pretend like I didn’t see you shake your booty to West Coast earlier.” She poked her tongue out.

“Why do you even like her? You’re not dating rich grandpas and you’ve never done weed. You can’t relate to her music at all.”

“I relate to the esthétique.”

“Aesthetic. Geez, you gotta work on your accent. How are you supposed to learn Bostonian slang if you can’t even speak English?”

They called for a truce when she threw him a scrunched up ball of newspaper she used to stuff the boxes, reaching her target easily. They decided to switch the music to Young the Giant’s latest album as they unpacked the rest of their belongings. They did not miss their chance of screaming Mind Over Matter at the top of their lungs either. Adamo had only gotten his hands on the beautiful loft. It was located downtown, in a young and hip area of Boston. It was quite the ride from the arena the Bruins used to practice and train, but he enjoyed to be in the middle of the action. It almost reminded him of Montréal. The loft was gigantic for a single man. Everything was white or stainless silver. It lacked of personality. It was lifeless, much like his previous apartment when his parents or his sister did not visit him.

When she talked to him about her plans to visit Massachussetts on her own, an idea popped in his mind. She had been wasting her money over all of these crappy hotel rooms for way too long, and he happened to need help unpacking and settling down in his new home. He killed two birds with one stone and offered Alessandra to be his roommate. When they were younger, they dreamed of moving in together. They had their whole thing set up: they would buy the house right next to their parents’ and live like adults, unless it was dinner time or they had laundry to do. Then, they would only have to travel back to mom’s and dad’s and not deal with any boring responsabilities. Their dream died the day he got his offer to join Boston’s hockey team, and, although he hated to admit it, he regretted breaking Sandrine’s heart and illusion of their perfect roommate life.

Soon enough, everything was set into place. The only thing missing was the furniture. All they had was a big mattress, a television, an oven and a fridge. The rest was supposed to be delivered the next day. And that was because Alessandra noticed Adamo confused the delivery dates and argued with the representants until they agreed to fix the situation. She did not fail to remind him how essential she was to his existence. To which he agreed.

God knew how much he loved his sister — worse, how much he needed her. When he moved out of Canada, he felt empty inside. It was like someone stole a piece of his heart and never put it back. He had no one to pour cereal for in the morning, even though he bought several boxes of her favorite ones just by habit. He had no one to comfort during a thunderstorm, knowing how terrified it made her and that she only fell asleep if he held her close. He had no one to cook with at two in the morning when he craved cupcakes, as she made the best ones he ever tasted. He had no one to go to when girls broke his heart, no one to cheer him up, no one to cheer up either. He no longer saw her skate, or helped her for that matter. He ignored what she was up to while they were so used to sneaking some little notes into class in High School just to make sure everything was fine. He had no one to go out with, as none of his new friends compared to Sandrine. She was lively, bubbly, she was filled with kindness and naivety. She understood him better than everyone else. Alessandra was his other half, his much, much better half.

Losing his sister was one of the worst moments of his life. It happened so many years ago and still, the pain was still sharp. And the guilt? Even more hurtful. She did not want to let go of him at the airport when their parents drove him there. She made a whole scene, to the point security guards had to pull them apart. She was crying and kicking and fighting to run back to him, and she escaped from the guards’ grip enough times that Christian, their father, had to pull her by the arm and force her back to the car. She was so feisty, she could win any fights on the ice like those stupid players who pretended they were Rocky Balboa. He tried to be the most mature one, to act tough and pretend he would be finally liberated without his little annoying sister, but he could not fight the tears as he got on the plane.

And there she was again. The soulmates were back together, but something felt so different. There was a distance between them, both emotional and physical. She went to University, she grew up as an individual, her dreams changed. But she remained the same flawless human being he protected all his life. And him? Sometimes he did not even know who he was anymore. Since he refused to let her sleep directly on the floor and gave her the mattress, which he put in the bedroom, they were on both ends of the loft. Instead, he used his old camping sleeping bag and stared at the moon through the window. Yet, he could still hear her roll over on the mattress. He heard the sound of choked sobbing.

Adam could not support it. It was like the dagger piercing through his heart came back around and tore him apart. He stood up to look through the open boxes and found a pink stuffed bunny. He remembered when he bought it at Toys R Us, twenty something years ago when his parents announced him they were expecting a little baby. He named her Rosie, because his sister reminded him of a rose. She was fragile like the petals, yet strong and resistant like the thorns.

“I cried so much when I moved here the first time, I had to put my pillow in the dryer every night... For three months.” Adam confessed with a small grin, as he leaned on the doorframe of the room Sandrine was sleeping in. He kept the bunny in his hands, watching it closely. She kept it in pristine condition. It looked the same as when his stupid three years-old self chose it in the store.

She sniffed soundly, hiding her head under her old Barbie themed bed sheets that she brought, knowing very well he forgot to buy her a set. “Yeah, right. The only thing you cried for was when you thought Marie-Mai was dating the singer of Simple Plan in that music video and not you.”

“Ouch, that’s a tough throwback for my ego.”

He heard a timid wave of laughter coming from the coccoon. He decided to kneel beside her, waving the stuffed animal near her until she dared to give a look outside.

“I’m such a child — .”

“No.” Adam cut her off before she started her routine of insults and guilt. He hated when she did that, when she did not believe she was worth all the treasures in the world. “You are the most mature person I have ever met.” A pair of suspicious eyebrows appeared from under the covers. “Tu m’as manquée.”

She did not recall the last time he told her he missed her. He stopped opening up about his feelings to be more like his hockey teammates, stupid, douchey and gross. And ever since that moment, she felt as if she was blood related to a complete stranger.

“Come on, get up on your short legs. I’ll make you some chocolat chaud.”

She could not resist his offer and followed him, hugging him from behind and struggling to keep up with his wide steps. She teasingly wiped her eyes on his shirt and stained it, knowing he hated when she used to do that. “I feel so alone.”

“Me too.”

“Mamie left us...” Even though she tried her very hardest, she still could not get over her grandmother passing away. Corinna was the glue to their family, and nobody knew where they would be today if it was not of this lady who sacrificed so much for her loved ones. “And then you left me.” She let the warmth of the cup of warm milk and cocoa powder dry her tears, well, metaphorically speaking. “I have nobody. I am lonely.”

He wrapped her in his arms, resting his head on top of hers. He almost forgot how small she was, yet, she was stronger and stood above everybody else. Her heart was bigger than every Bostonian citizens’ combined. He hated himself for being the one who broke it that day in the airport.

“You’re not lonely anymore.” He said the words, almost like a promise. It was a dangerous promise, one he already knew he could not keep. “We’ll get through this.” Adamo spoke softly into her ear. “Together.”

“Together, forever.”

@devinstonerpg

Throwback Thursday: Our first cameras

What was your first camera?

For this week's Throwback Thursday, I asked fellow DPReview staffers to write a few paragraphs about their first cameras, film and digital. I'll go first.

Jeff Keller

Unlike most of my colleagues, I wasn't a huge film photographer. I recall owning one of those flat 110 cameras, followed by a standard-issue clamshell compact, which was promptly stolen by someone in the baggage department at London's Heathrow airport. I ended up running to Harrods to pick up something similar. I probably paid way too much.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on digital cameras really early – like 1996 early. After toying around with early Kodak, Casio and Apple cameras, I finally bit the bullet and dropped $900 on the Olympus D-300L, also known as the Camedia C-800L. This powerhouse had an F2.8, 36mm-equivalent lens and a sensor with XGA resolution. 

My real pride and joy was the Olympus D-600L (Camedia C-1400L), which cost me $1300 in 1997. It had an unusual design, large-ish 2/3" 1.4MP sensor, and a 36-110mm equivalent F2.8-3.9 lens. Its optical viewfinder had 95% coverage and was supplemented by a 1.8" LCD. I don't know what I did with it, but I wish I still had the D-600L in my possession!

Olympus C-800L photo by Erkaha

Allison Johnson

I’m counting my first camera as one that I used early on, and am now entrusted with, but isn’t strictly mine. I had some kind of point-and-shoot film camera of my own when I was young, and shared a Game Boy Camera with my sister, but Dad’s Nikkormat FT3 was the first 'real camera' I shot with. Let me tell you, that camera is built for the ages. It’s heavy and indestructible and as far as I can tell, still works like the day it was born. I take it out with me nowadays when I know I’ll be able to slow down and think about what I’m doing, and when I know I won’t be devastated if I screw it all up and come back with nothing. I haven’t been disappointed yet.

The very first digital camera I bought is slightly embarrassing: a Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T700. It was one of the super-slim Cyber-shots of the late 2000s that was all touchscreen. What can I say? I was taken in by its sleek looks and pocketability. It started up when you slid the front panel down to reveal the lens, and there was a real risk of the whole camera flying out of your hands every time you did that. It also had the world’s tiniest zoom lever in one corner on the top, which was pretty annoying to operate. The photos were fine in daylight, though I was just taking casual snapshots and didn’t exactly stress test it. I can confidently say my smartphone now does a fine job of everything that I was using this camera for. Therein lies the whole compact camera market, I guess.

Nikkormat FT3 photo by BastienM

Barney Britton

My first camera was a Pentax MX, inherited from my Dad (who is still very much alive), along with a 50mm F1.7 prime and a couple of Tamron Adaptall-2 zooms. It was the camera I learned photography with, and the only camera I took on a round-Europe rail trip when I was 18. I sold it when I went to university to fund a Canon EOS-3, and always regretted it. I found an MX in a junk shop last year, and I’m not going to sell this one.

My first digital camera was the Canon EOS 10D. I saved up for an entire year, working in a hotel restaurant during university holidays to pay for it (a story told in part, here) and it was my main camera for a couple of years.

The EOS 10D was the first ‘affordable’ DSLR that really stacked up against high-end film models in terms of build quality and functionality. Although its AF system was primitive compared to the EOS 3, it was extremely well-built, and very reliable. At the time, the 10D also offered the best image quality of any enthusiast DSLR (and arguably, the best image quality of any DSLR, period). Noise levels were low across its standard ISO range, and an extension setting of ISO 3200 offered filmlike grain, which looked great in black and white. I still see 10Ds 'in the wild' occasionally, and for a long time, we used an EOS 10D as our main studio camera at DPReview.

The EOS 10D had a magnesium-alloy body.

I shot my first published work on the EOS 10D, which felt like quite an achievement given how poorly its autofocus system performed in low light. If I’d never become a professional performance photographer, I might still have it. After the 10D I upgraded to an EOS-1D Mark II, when I started getting more serious about theatre and music photography.

Pentax MX photo by Alf Sigaro

Dale Baskin

I truly have no idea what my first camera was. When I go back and look at old family photos, even ones in which I’m barely a toddler, I always seem to have a camera in my hands, running the gamut from my Dad’s rangefinder to a free plastic camera someone chose over a toaster when opening a bank account. When I got serious about learning photography, however, there was one camera that appealed to me like no other: the Miranda Sensorex.

Why? Probably for the same reasons a lot of people started photography with a particular camera: it was available to me. I didn’t care that the camera was older than I was and heavier than a rock. It looked the way a camera was supposed to look, and it had the latest in sensor technology. (For the youngsters out there, this technology was called ‘film’, and my Dad insisted on the Kodachrome or Ektachrome varieties).

It was a great camera to learn on as there was no auto, no program and no aperture priority mode to fall back on. I recall reading somewhere that the Sensorex was the first 35mm SLR with TTL metering, and to this day I love the match-needle method of setting exposure. It may be a dinosaur by today’s standards, but it still works and will probably continue to do so for decades.

My first digital camera was the Canon PowerShot S300, a 2.1MP point and shoot. (Back then, that extra 0.1MP was important!). I agonized for weeks over whether or not I should spend literally hundreds of dollars more to get a 3MP camera, but in the end couldn’t justify the spend. I immediately fell in love with digital photography, especially the the ability for easy sharing on social networks. (Social network being defined as someone in your personal social network to whom you could snail-mail a CD-ROM of photos they were never going to look at anyway.)

As fun as digital was, it still didn’t give me the same quality as scanned slides, so I stuck with film for a few more years until the Canon EOS 20D came out, and the rest is history.

Carey Rose

The first camera I have any sort of memory of actually using (besides disposable cameras and my Grandpa's Canon EOS 650 film camera, which was so cool) was a PowerShot A75. It was a hand-me-down from my dad, and the perfect 'first digital camera' for a socially awkward high-schooler. It was fairly small (though that didn’t stop me from wanting a camera phone as soon as such things became practical and available), ran on easy-to-find AA batteries, and the photo quality was great for the time.

It was also called 'PowerShot,' a brand name that, to this day, sounds way cooler than competing models like such as FinePix, Easyshare and Coolpix, all of which should have died out along with animated backgrounds and auto-play music on your favorite Geocities ‘links’ page. It even survived a tumble onto concrete for a while, though eventually it succumbed to the dreaded ‘lens error’ where the lens wouldn’t properly extend or contract.

It was superseded by a Samsung NV10, a camera which looked cooler, was a lot smaller and had a lot more megapixels (plus a funky Smart Touch control system with soft keys surrounding two sides of the display,) but I ended up preferring the overall ‘look’ of the PowerShot images I used to get. So when I left the NV10 on a train while traveling across Europe, I replaced it with another PowerShot, the S3 IS, and never looked back.

Sam Spencer

The first camera I used was probably the same as anyone born before 1990-something: a disposable point and shoot. Being six years old, I had no idea about focus, flash, or anything of the sort and tried to take a macro picture of a spider at less than six inches away….

A couple years later my father proudly came home one evening with a Ricoh RDC-2. I wasn’t allowed to get my prepubescent mitts on it until later when computer monitors grew to 1,024 pixels on the long side, making the VGA Ricoh obsolete. I remember using the AC adaptor for it almost exclusively since it ate through AA’s almost as often as its now-diminutive memory filled. I also seem to remember using its OVF more often than the (optional) flip-up screen on top. I mostly used it to try and capture various members of my remote control car collection airborne after launching off jumps I made out of tape and cardboard. Remember, I was about 8 or 9.

The Sony Cyber-shot DSC-S75 had a 3MP CCD, 34-102mm equiv. lens, a rear LCD info display and plenty of manual controls. Its lens, labeled 'Carl Zeiss,' could be found on numerous other cameras under different names (e.g. Canon, Epson).

That camera was replaced with a Sony Cyber-shot DSC-S75, which was the first time I had ever seen or heard the name ‘Zeiss’. That camera offered a bit more manual control (like focus!) than the Ricoh, was what got me truly enthusiastic about photography in Junior High, leading to signing up for darkroom photography my freshman year. Then I was handed a ‘real’ camera, a Minolta SRT200, which worked well until Nikon released the D50, a DSLR affordable enough to convince my generous father to help me purchase (he definitely paid for the majority).

Simon Joinson

The Fujica ST605N was an M42 screw-mount SLR made in the 70's and 80's. Photo by Alf Sigaro.

I have my father to blame for my lifelong love affair with photography. Not because he was a particularly accomplished or prolific photographer (based on the wallets of photos I have from my childhood I’d characterize his technique as a bit hit and miss, with a lot more ‘miss’ than ‘hit’), but because he gave me my first camera at age 12 or 13. I got this hand-me-down because he was replacing his camera – a Fujica ST 605N – with something a lot fancier (a Minolta X500, chosen after an excruciating amount of research including, much to my mother’s consternation, two visits to a camera show from which he returned with a roll full of pictures of semi-naked models on motorbikes).

Anyway, I didn’t care because I now had my own real camera, complete with 35mm, 55mm and 135mm lenses packed into an ancient gadget bag that released a heady aroma of moldy old leather and film every time I creaked open its lid, and whose numerous pockets were home to a fascinating collection of dusty accessories and starburst filters. It was the most amazing thing I had ever owned.

The Fujica ST605N was one of dozens of similar no-frills M42 screw mount SLRs made during the 70s and early 80s (although it appears that the mere fact you could see the currently selected shutter speed in the viewfinder was quite the selling point in 1978), but it was compact, nicely made and had a decent focus screen and a fast (at the time) silicon exposure meter.

And I loved it. And, like all photographers who started with a fully manual camera and a small selection of prime lenses that took about 10 minutes to change (thanks to the screw mount), I quickly learned the basics of photography (specifically apertures and shutter speeds), partly by reading but mostly through trial and error. 

I can still remember the first roll of I put through it, at the local zoo, and the thrill of getting the prints back only 5 days and 2 weeks' worth of allowance later (on this point my father made it clear I would need to reign in my enthusiasm and that a 36-exposure roll normally lasted him for at least a few months).

After many years of enjoying his Fujica, Simon moved on to the Nikon F-301, known as the N2000 in the United States. Photo by John Nuttall.

I kept - and used - the Fujica all my teen years, adding an old flashgun that took 5 minutes of high-pitched wheezing to charge up, a slightly moldy 70-200mm Vivitar zoom I found in a junk shop, and a sizeable collection of blower brushes and cap-keepers that came free on the covers of photography magazines. My time with her only ended when I went to college – all students were required to arrive on the first day with a Nikon SLR, so I had to trade-in my trusty old ST605N for a Nikon F301 (aka N2000), which seemed like something out of Knight Rider by comparison. But that’s another story…

The Casio QV-10, with its low resolution CCD and rotating lens, was one of the world's first consumer digital cameras.

My first digital camera? Well, the first I used was a Casio QV10, but since I started writing about digital cameras in 1995, I never really had to buy one (we had a house full of them), and I just borrowed what I wanted when I wasn’t shooting for work. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I didn’t actually buy a digital camera for myself until 2011 (funnily enough it too was a Fuji – a first generation X100).

So what was your first camera (film or digital – both are fair game)?  Let us know in the comments below! Suggestions for future Throwback Thursday articles are also welcome.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2m3TR9N

Throwback Thursday: Our first cameras

What was your first camera?

For this week's Throwback Thursday, I asked fellow DPReview staffers to write a few paragraphs about their first cameras, film and digital. I'll go first.

Jeff Keller

Unlike most of my colleagues, I wasn't a huge film photographer. I recall owning one of those flat 110 cameras, followed by a standard-issue clamshell compact, which was promptly stolen by someone in the baggage department at London's Heathrow airport. I ended up running to Harrods to pick up something similar. I probably paid way too much.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on digital cameras really early – like 1996 early. After toying around with early Kodak, Casio and Apple cameras, I finally bit the bullet and dropped $900 on the Olympus D-300L, also known as the Camedia C-800L. This powerhouse had an F2.8, 36mm-equivalent lens and a sensor with XGA resolution. 

My real pride and joy was the Olympus D-600L (Camedia C-1400L), which cost me $1300 in 1997. It had an unusual design, large-ish 2/3" 1.4MP sensor, and a 36-110mm equivalent F2.8-3.9 lens. Its optical viewfinder had 95% coverage and was supplemented by a 1.8" LCD. I don't know what I did with it, but I wish I still had the D-600L in my possession!

Olympus C-800L photo by Erkaha

Allison Johnson

I’m counting my first camera as one that I used early on, and am now entrusted with, but isn’t strictly mine. I had some kind of point-and-shoot film camera of my own when I was young, and shared a Game Boy Camera with my sister, but Dad’s Nikkormat FT3 was the first 'real camera' I shot with. Let me tell you, that camera is built for the ages. It’s heavy and indestructible and as far as I can tell, still works like the day it was born. I take it out with me nowadays when I know I’ll be able to slow down and think about what I’m doing, and when I know I won’t be devastated if I screw it all up and come back with nothing. I haven’t been disappointed yet.

The very first digital camera I bought is slightly embarrassing: a Sony Cyber-shot DSC-T700. It was one of the super-slim Cyber-shots of the late 2000s that was all touchscreen. What can I say? I was taken in by its sleek looks and pocketability. It started up when you slid the front panel down to reveal the lens, and there was a real risk of the whole camera flying out of your hands every time you did that. It also had the world’s tiniest zoom lever in one corner on the top, which was pretty annoying to operate. The photos were fine in daylight, though I was just taking casual snapshots and didn’t exactly stress test it. I can confidently say my smartphone now does a fine job of everything that I was using this camera for. Therein lies the whole compact camera market, I guess.

Nikkormat FT3 photo by BastienM

Barney Britton

My first camera was a Pentax MX, inherited from my Dad (who is still very much alive), along with a 50mm F1.7 prime and a couple of Tamron Adaptall-2 zooms. It was the camera I learned photography with, and the only camera I took on a round-Europe rail trip when I was 18. I sold it when I went to university to fund a Canon EOS-3, and always regretted it. I found an MX in a junk shop last year, and I’m not going to sell this one.

My first digital camera was the Canon EOS 10D. I saved up for an entire year, working in a hotel restaurant during university holidays to pay for it (a story told in part, here) and it was my main camera for a couple of years.

The EOS 10D was the first ‘affordable’ DSLR that really stacked up against high-end film models in terms of build quality and functionality. Although its AF system was primitive compared to the EOS 3, it was extremely well-built, and very reliable. At the time, the 10D also offered the best image quality of any enthusiast DSLR (and arguably, the best image quality of any DSLR, period). Noise levels were low across its standard ISO range, and an extension setting of ISO 3200 offered filmlike grain, which looked great in black and white. I still see 10Ds 'in the wild' occasionally, and for a long time, we used an EOS 10D as our main studio camera at DPReview.

The EOS 10D had a magnesium-alloy body.

I shot my first published work on the EOS 10D, which felt like quite an achievement given how poorly its autofocus system performed in low light. If I’d never become a professional performance photographer, I might still have it. After the 10D I upgraded to an EOS-1D Mark II, when I started getting more serious about theatre and music photography.

Pentax MX photo by Alf Sigaro

Dale Baskin

I truly have no idea what my first camera was. When I go back and look at old family photos, even ones in which I’m barely a toddler, I always seem to have a camera in my hands, running the gamut from my Dad’s rangefinder to a free plastic camera someone chose over a toaster when opening a bank account. When I got serious about learning photography, however, there was one camera that appealed to me like no other: the Miranda Sensorex.

Why? Probably for the same reasons a lot of people started photography with a particular camera: it was available to me. I didn’t care that the camera was older than I was and heavier than a rock. It looked the way a camera was supposed to look, and it had the latest in sensor technology. (For the youngsters out there, this technology was called ‘film’, and my Dad insisted on the Kodachrome or Ektachrome varieties).

It was a great camera to learn on as there was no auto, no program and no aperture priority mode to fall back on. I recall reading somewhere that the Sensorex was the first 35mm SLR with TTL metering, and to this day I love the match-needle method of setting exposure. It may be a dinosaur by today’s standards, but it still works and will probably continue to do so for decades.

My first digital camera was the Canon PowerShot S300, a 2.1MP point and shoot. (Back then, that extra 0.1MP was important!). I agonized for weeks over whether or not I should spend literally hundreds of dollars more to get a 3MP camera, but in the end couldn’t justify the spend. I immediately fell in love with digital photography, especially the the ability for easy sharing on social networks. (Social network being defined as someone in your personal social network to whom you could snail-mail a CD-ROM of photos they were never going to look at anyway.)

As fun as digital was, it still didn’t give me the same quality as scanned slides, so I stuck with film for a few more years until the Canon EOS 20D came out, and the rest is history.

Carey Rose

The first camera I have any sort of memory of actually using (besides disposable cameras and my Grandpa's Canon EOS 650 film camera, which was so cool) was a PowerShot A75. It was a hand-me-down from my dad, and the perfect 'first digital camera' for a socially awkward high-schooler. It was fairly small (though that didn’t stop me from wanting a camera phone as soon as such things became practical and available), ran on easy-to-find AA batteries, and the photo quality was great for the time.

It was also called 'PowerShot,' a brand name that, to this day, sounds way cooler than competing models like such as FinePix, Easyshare and Coolpix, all of which should have died out along with animated backgrounds and auto-play music on your favorite Geocities ‘links’ page. It even survived a tumble onto concrete for a while, though eventually it succumbed to the dreaded ‘lens error’ where the lens wouldn’t properly extend or contract.

It was superseded by a Samsung NV10, a camera which looked cooler, was a lot smaller and had a lot more megapixels (plus a funky Smart Touch control system with soft keys surrounding two sides of the display,) but I ended up preferring the overall ‘look’ of the PowerShot images I used to get. So when I left the NV10 on a train while traveling across Europe, I replaced it with another PowerShot, the S3 IS, and never looked back.

Sam Spencer

The first camera I used was probably the same as anyone born before 1990-something: a disposable point and shoot. Being six years old, I had no idea about focus, flash, or anything of the sort and tried to take a macro picture of a spider at less than six inches away….

A couple years later my father proudly came home one evening with a Ricoh RDC-2. I wasn’t allowed to get my prepubescent mitts on it until later when computer monitors grew to 1,024 pixels on the long side, making the VGA Ricoh obsolete. I remember using the AC adaptor for it almost exclusively since it ate through AA’s almost as often as its now-diminutive memory filled. I also seem to remember using its OVF more often than the (optional) flip-up screen on top. I mostly used it to try and capture various members of my remote control car collection airborne after launching off jumps I made out of tape and cardboard. Remember, I was about 8 or 9.

The Sony Cyber-shot DSC-S75 had a 3MP CCD, 34-102mm equiv. lens, a rear LCD info display and plenty of manual controls. Its lens, labeled 'Carl Zeiss,' could be found on numerous other cameras under different names (e.g. Canon, Epson).

That camera was replaced with a Sony Cyber-shot DSC-S75, which was the first time I had ever seen or heard the name ‘Zeiss’. That camera offered a bit more manual control (like focus!) than the Ricoh, was what got me truly enthusiastic about photography in Junior High, leading to signing up for darkroom photography my freshman year. Then I was handed a ‘real’ camera, a Minolta SRT200, which worked well until Nikon released the D50, a DSLR affordable enough to convince my generous father to help me purchase (he definitely paid for the majority).

Simon Joinson

The Fujica ST605N was an M42 screw-mount SLR made in the 70's and 80's. Photo by Alf Sigaro.

I have my father to blame for my lifelong love affair with photography. Not because he was a particularly accomplished or prolific photographer (based on the wallets of photos I have from my childhood I’d characterize his technique as a bit hit and miss, with a lot more ‘miss’ than ‘hit’), but because he gave me my first camera at age 12 or 13. I got this hand-me-down because he was replacing his camera – a Fujica ST 605N – with something a lot fancier (a Minolta X500, chosen after an excruciating amount of research including, much to my mother’s consternation, two visits to a camera show from which he returned with a roll full of pictures of semi-naked models on motorbikes).

Anyway, I didn’t care because I now had my own real camera, complete with 35mm, 55mm and 135mm lenses packed into an ancient gadget bag that released a heady aroma of moldy old leather and film every time I creaked open its lid, and whose numerous pockets were home to a fascinating collection of dusty accessories and starburst filters. It was the most amazing thing I had ever owned.

The Fujica ST605N was one of dozens of similar no-frills M42 screw mount SLRs made during the 70s and early 80s (although it appears that the mere fact you could see the currently selected shutter speed in the viewfinder was quite the selling point in 1978), but it was compact, nicely made and had a decent focus screen and a fast (at the time) silicon exposure meter.

And I loved it. And, like all photographers who started with a fully manual camera and a small selection of prime lenses that took about 10 minutes to change (thanks to the screw mount), I quickly learned the basics of photography (specifically apertures and shutter speeds), partly by reading but mostly through trial and error. 

I can still remember the first roll of I put through it, at the local zoo, and the thrill of getting the prints back only 5 days and 2 weeks' worth of allowance later (on this point my father made it clear I would need to reign in my enthusiasm and that a 36-exposure roll normally lasted him for at least a few months).

After many years of enjoying his Fujica, Simon moved on to the Nikon F-301, known as the N2000 in the United States. Photo by John Nuttall.

I kept - and used - the Fujica all my teen years, adding an old flashgun that took 5 minutes of high-pitched wheezing to charge up, a slightly moldy 70-200mm Vivitar zoom I found in a junk shop, and a sizeable collection of blower brushes and cap-keepers that came free on the covers of photography magazines. My time with her only ended when I went to college – all students were required to arrive on the first day with a Nikon SLR, so I had to trade-in my trusty old ST605N for a Nikon F301 (aka N2000), which seemed like something out of Knight Rider by comparison. But that’s another story…

The Casio QV-10, with its low resolution CCD and rotating lens, was one of the world's first consumer digital cameras.

My first digital camera? Well, the first I used was a Casio QV10, but since I started writing about digital cameras in 1995, I never really had to buy one (we had a house full of them), and I just borrowed what I wanted when I wasn’t shooting for work. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I didn’t actually buy a digital camera for myself until 2011 (funnily enough it too was a Fuji – a first generation X100).

So what was your first camera (film or digital – both are fair game)?  Let us know in the comments below! Suggestions for future Throwback Thursday articles are also welcome.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2m3TR9N

New Post has been published on Add Crazy

New Post has been published on https://addcrazy.com/malaysia-prices-2-women-with-homicide-of-kim-jong-nam/

Malaysia prices 2 women with homicide of Kim Jong-nam

Malaysia on Wednesday charged girls with murder for their alleged involvement in the killing of the estranged half of brother of North Korea’s leader.

Siti Aishah, a 25-yr-vintage mother of one from Jakarta, and Doan Thi Huong, 28, from rural northern Vietnam, can be changed if they are convicted for the killing of Kim Jong-Nam at Kuala Lumpur Global Airport on Feb. thirteen.

Police introduced the two women to court docket handcuffed and sporting bullet-proof vests. No plea changed into recorded after the fees had been examining out against them.

Aishah and Huong have informed diplomats who visited them in custody that they had been unwitting pawns in an assassination that U.S. officials and South Korean intelligence have said changed into organized with the aid of North Korean marketers.

The next courtroom date could be on April thirteen, when prosecutors will follow for the accused to be attempted together.

South Korean officers believe the killing became completed with the aid of North Korean dealers, and Malaysia has identified eight North Koreans suspected of involvement in the killing.

Huong is believed to be the female carrying a white shirt emblazoned with the acronym LOL, whose image turned into caught on protection cameras whilst awaiting a taxi after the attack.

at the same time as Malaysian police arrested the women within the days after the attack, they’re also are protecting one North Korean guy and have diagnosed seven different North Koreans desired in connection with the sensational case.

Lawyer preferred Mohamed Apandi Ali said in advance in the week the North Korean in custody will now not be charged yet. recognized through police as Ri Jong Chol, his remand length ends on Friday.

The security camera pictures, which has been launched in the media, confirmed two ladies assaulting Kim within the departure hall of the airport, and the sufferer stumbling into a clinical sanatorium. He died within 20 mins of the attack.

Kim Jong Un: Variety three Is Number one

Kim Jong Un: Wide variety three, however primary.

So we have this dynasty. Dynasties usually pass their strength along to the primary born son. Kim Jong-Il became the best (surviving) son from which to pick, so he got the task. however whilst looking to determine which of his 3 sons might be next in line, he bumped into a few critical stumbling-blocks. At least one source near the circle of relatives indicates that Kim Jong-Il truly failed to want to carry on this dynasty enterprise, as it changed into so, not like socialism in his questioning. but, the need for stability drove him to choose among 3 no longer-so-proper opportunities.

Opportunity number one turned into Kim Jong-Nam. It might be a difficult sell to even the brainwashed North Koreans, who nevertheless have a piece of Confucian family values in their veins, to place Nam on the throne. You see, his mom changed into Kim Jong-Il’s, ahem, mistress. To be more precise, his preferred mistress.

However, the primary son determined to shoot himself in the foot and keep his daddy the trouble. A few years back he got a forged passport to Japan, and was in his manner to, might you accept as true with, Disneyland, whilst he was apprehended and turned back from his intended purposes. He and pop did not get along too well after that incident, and his name changed into sooner or later scratched out in phrases of desirability for such an august role.

These days number one son lives in Macao. And Beijing. And Singapore. Anyplace he can keep secure. With a baby brother in rate, who knows what may take place to a threatening sibling like this? Wasn’t it simply months in the past that Unfinished his uncle?

Each Kim Jong-Chul and Kim Jong-Un are from the same mother, the legitimate wife of the former dictator. There has been a quick time when Number two’s celebrity began to upward thrust. A touch. Word is this son changed into only a sadness without even doing whatever terrible. He, they say, is a chunk effeminate. now not positive how they are defining this. but something gave a person the sign, that this guy could not be the tough leader we want to hold on our photo. next, please.

Kim Jong-Un changed into all that became left. He was 27 or 28 (no person seems to recognise his exact age) on the transfer of electricity. He had become a 4-megastar preferred in 2010. Of path, he had by no means served in the navy. That equal 12 months he became #2 in the Principal military Committee. 25 years in advance his father had taken the same course.

At first they dubbed him the “First rate chef.” A obese two hundred+ kilos at handiest 5’9″, many re-dubbed him the Awesome Eater. But the resemblance to Dad and even Grand-dad (Kim Il-Sung) become and is putting.

Kim spent more than one young youngster years in Bern, Switzerland, at a German language state college. He had to deceive his classmates approximately his proper identity. Every day he turned into pushed into and off of the grounds in a black van. The mystery student.

His love of factors Western after the ones days blanketed video games, action films, and the NBA, especially the Chicago Bulls. All pretty everyday stuff. I even got caught up inside the Bulls component once they have been riding the Michael Jordan waves. To suppose that I have this in commonplace with the son of a dictator. Michael was his preferred.

Michael obviously changed into now not “to be had” to satisfy his childhood goals remaining year, but there’s continually Dennis Rodman. This love I do now not percentage with Mr. Un.

What else can we realize approximately this man? not tons. You’ll see him now looking very grandpa-ish as he goes from manufacturing unit to area examining this and that, as Sung was wont to do. His birthday is celebrated as a country-wide holiday. And he is making an evil name for himself via championing aggression towards all, inside the name of the special rights of the Korean humans to be masters.

One smells Hitler at each turn. Grasp race. In your face.

His supervising of catastrophes clearly started together with his past due father. He was at Jong-Il’s face on the sinking of that South Korean vessel in 2010. The island shelling turned into in part his too. As became the April ’09 ballistic test.

So, he is calling lower back and looking to do what Daddy did. And Gramps. but as someone remarked, he is an Emperor without a clothes (of his own). He has offered the birthday party line, the dynasty line, and judge, and is trying to prove to anyone who will listen that the powers that be have made a terrific preference via permitting him to take over.

Has he heard of the Arab Spring? Does he see himself as one in all a protracted line of dictators that the arena is weary of and wants to rid itself of quicker as opposed to later? Does he lose sleep nights questioning he might be The following to head?

Is North Korea so unified by decades of thoughts manipulate that nobody will ever dare to project him?

Try those dates: 1981, 1983, 1985, 1990, 1992, 1993, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2002, 2004, 2007, 2011… And more. In every of those years, in the Hermit Country of Chosun, believe it or no longer, There has been both an uprising, a protest, an armed conflict, an assassination try, or At least vandalism and graffiti towards the authorities. Yep, the NK government.

No cause why Kim has to keep on to strength. No cause why God could not pay attention your prayers this very day and topple this disorder-ridden infestation known as the North Korean authorities. A human beings might be freed to pay attention the Gospel. The Christians will breathe once more. Cross in advance, pray. Kim isn’t eternal. He is not all-powerful. He may be stopped. He might be stopped. Pray.

but even as North Korea lives, Western believers want to research from it. will we now not see that Kim Jong-Un has been given energy over believers? Is that now not what the Bible says will show up to all believers in the future under antichrist? E-book of Daniel. E-book of Revelation. The saints might be given into antichrist’s fingers. That is what it says. You can name these saints “Tribulation Saints” in case you need to, but You may have a good deal trouble explaining that title from the Bible, which does not differentiate saints Nowadays from saints in that day. Saints are saints.

God needs the get away artists of our day to take a protracted look at the suffering church in North Korea. Get prepared, He says. problem is coming. Be sure your heart is proper. It’s no longer usually going to be like it’s far now. Awaken.

Assassination of the dictator or any political intrigue is by no means the advice of Scripture for believers caught in these traps. I’ve usually puzzled the heroism we have attached to Mr. Bonhoeffer. He become a real believer. but he was imprisoned and accomplished due to the fact he determined to assist do away with Hitler.

I study of no heroics including this in the New Testimony. Bear. Be robust. Triumph over inside the Spirit. those are the directives to persecuted saints in any regime. And the relaxation people are instructed to assist them in any manner we can. however never to violate State ideas in so doing. homicide is by no means an option for us.

As I stated in advance, I want this man long past. I pray that way. My coronary heart is aching for Koreans subjugated to this every day evil. Here’s a young man barely antique sufficient to run an amazing-sized enterprise having turn out to be Grasp-in-fee of the world’s greatest shame. One thinks of Caligula and Nero, in Paul’s time, elderly 25 and 17 respectively at their accession. Domitian, in John’s day, a trifling 30. Constantine and Theodosius, who introduced the church out of and into its best bondages, elderly 27 and 32.

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