#one of my biggest childhood fixations girl!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autisticempathydaemon · 2 months

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this took too much unnecessary courage to send haha </3

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

- A loving feeling by Mitski ( Holding hands under a table Meeting up in your bedroom Making love to other people Telling each other it's all good )

What is your Enneagram type?

- INTP 5w4 !

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

- I do<3 i just like space things in general, I find it neat!!

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

- didn't have one, I spent most of my childhood people watching and watching stuff on the TV

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

- hugging a spare pillow next to my dog :) (i love my dog)

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

- I changed my name because it felt nice when people ( my friends ) referred to me as it and made me feel more comfortable with who i am in general !!

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

- I love all of them but if I had to pick I think I'd have to go with Huxley and Damien's valenweek 2024 audio. I could feel my stomach turning throughout and falling into the vulnerability, seeing the misunderstanding playing out. When there is so much love, so much love for one another, one's insecurities can rear its ugly head so loudly</3

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for. (I won't judge, I promise.)

- im so sorry but i just dont get the hype wit vega n blake.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

-.. im not into any of those 😭 I get overwhelmed when I use my eyes too much so I just stick with Audiobooks, podcasts, etc (OUUUU I LOVE THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES SO MU)

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

- Caelum. I wanna give him the biggest hug I could ever muster. I wanna draw pictures with Caelum. I wanna make friendship bracelets with Caelum. I WANT CAELUM AS MY BFF 😓

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

- I don't talk when I'm tired, I just go completely nonverbal and just lay in my bed with no lights on until i doze off !!

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

- it's just a mix of my favorite artists and music that make my brain feel fuzzy:3 (mitski, cas, matt maltese, david bowie, TV girl, msi, the rare occasions, etc)

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

- horror movies (found films). Specifically 'As Above, So Below'. The movie is SO good but it'll keep me awake all night</3

So there’s quite a few reasons I like this match, but two of the most compelling to me are your Enneagram and INTP. The Logician/Philosopher combo makes you a good fit for Avior.

These personality types give me the impression of someone introverted with a curious and unique nature who thinks more than they necessarily say; this would intrigue Avior. I think once he gets to know you, he’d really love to hear all your thoughts and talk with you, and find out what’s going on up in your head. Yet, your chipper nature is a pleasant contrast to his more sardonic, sarcastic temperament. You’d lighten him up and make him smile.

Even in your weird, little Aligherian prison, I think y’all would get along and have fun in your own ways. You’re a big fan of space; who better to tell you about it than a member of a magical species all named after stars? He could show you another section of the cosmos every night. When out of hell, you could have the opportunity to show him things instead. I’m personally delighted by the idea of Avior enjoying The Magnus Archives, so I will not let this headcanon go for anything. (I think he enjoys the metatextual nature of the Fears and hilariously relates to Jon and Martin in Season 5 iykyk)

Song:

There's nothing you or I can do so let the stars fall/ 'Cause from up here the sky's my thoughts and we're all so small/ We're all so/ My heart and the earth share the same rule/ It starts with love and it ends with you/ But don't go outside, it's dangerous tonight/ Without me right here by your side

I can’t quite pin down Avior’s music taste, I’ll admit, but you strike me as a possible Cavetown fan, so I hope you like this pick. I just couldn’t resist a sweet, cute love song titled Meteor Shower for you two, you know? It gives hopeful vibes, like the two of you knowing you’ll make it out and dreaming of that coffeeshop.

Runner-ups:

David is a runner-up for you, because your personality Types lowkey give Introverted Angel, you feel? David would like that, buuuut I want someone nicer and Space-aligned for you, so not him. Ivan is my favorite runner-up for you because you would be his type and because the two of you being horror buffs together is a very fun, silly idea to me.

note: I hope you enjoy your match-up 💜

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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thetalkingwave · 1 month

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Happy last day of Autism Awareness Month!

My story is a bit of a long one, and I will be omitting some factors regarding upbringing, but I hope it's amusing, or at the very least interesting~

At 4 years old, I was considered near a full mute- I was social, playful, but I wouldn't say anything beyond a whisper or two to my sister and my folks. Many asked when I was a teenager why that had ever been the case and I could never find an explanation for it.

It ended up being a running joke to my older relatives that the reason it was the case was that 'talking is what starts trouble'. I stuck by that notion, but as this was the early 2000s, I understand why this wasn't scrutinized beyond a talk with a speech councilor as to whether or not I would be fit for a traditional school.

Adjacent explanations, the not quite answers, would be commonplace for any bizarre behavior to follow.

When I was 6 years old, my mom had taken me and my sister to a store to buy new clothes- the first time doing so outside of school uniforms since we had moved to Texas.

A few outfits- the catch being we both had to come out with at least two pairs of pants.

I hated pants. Shorts were the most I'd wear, but I couldn't stand how tight they felt, or how the fabric brushed against my legs. I could only go halfway on trying them on before I roughly tossed them aside, squirming and on the verge of tears.

I was just "an extreme girly girl". But pants are needed for messier outdoor activities, so I walked out with fabric that didn't make my skin crawl.

I caught pneumonia at 8 years old for a similar reason- jacket collars brushing against my neck made me feel like I was suffocating. I would wear them for a short while or forgo them entirely.

Unzipping just under the neck didn't cross anyone's minds, but the compromise was either a thicker sweater or a comfortable thinner one underneath so the jacket wouldn't be directly touching my skin.

When I was 15, I had unknowingly unmasked. I wouldn't have considered myself popular; charming would have fit more.

Revealing my analysis of others (in the love for linguistics) was a dire mistake.

At 17-19, anytime I was caught stimming, I would immediately stop.

At age 21, after a harrowing day at work prior, I reached a breaking point. My right hand wouldn't stop shaking.

'A seizure, A seizure!' Was heralded by near all surrounding me.

'Nothing wrong', said the brain scan.

A week passed. It slowed down. A few days passed after that.

It completely stopped.

I was left wondering why something so horrifying felt so familiar.

At age 22, I started a new job. Curiosity peaked for some, but for most...It was shrugged.

Suddenly, something clicked.

"Wait...am I...hired?"

"I...wouldn't be asking these questions if you weren't?"

No malice, no mocking intent behind any question.

Eye contact wasn't a requirement. I no longer felt nauseous.

Early on, I was halted by an older woman I had become friendly with.

"Que traes?" (What do you 'got'?)

"En general? Autismo." (In general? Autism.)

She elbowed another coworker, the blatant appearance of "I told you so" on her face.

"You're a little odd."

I laugh in agreement.

"You've become much more open since you've started here. I'm proud of you."

It's been over a year and I'm still at this job.

At my final day of being 23, I finally get to reveal one of my biggest secrets, the first person who knew being the man I love.

The other incidents were signs, but this is my favorite giveaway.

At age 6-7, I developed a hyper fixation.

The process intrigued me, the way the elements all came together to compliment each other. A meatball sub, a BLT, a torta, ETC.

The sheer amount of joy I experienced when I had tried a Reuben for the first time could only compare to my passion of drawing.

My childhood dream was to make sandwiches, and it was unfortunately denied of its existence when I realized then and there it wasn't at all common for a child to have that interest.

My current and most long running job?

A gourmet grocery store.

The position?

Sandwich Bar.

And now it's something that those I work with on there already know.

#the wave's text #personal #autism #long post #(oki dokes bed time xD)#(I have to get used to speaking about my background in writing but it's a skill that can surely be built)

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starkid2464 · 6 months

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When I came forward about my abuse and it was acknowledged for the first time. They called in both my parents: my dad and my abuser. My mom never looked at me the same after that day. I think that’s when I learned what it felt like to be hated. She no longer saw me as her little girl she could mold and hold forever and saw me as a monster. I was thirteen. I was barely a teen yet I was now the cause of “all her problems” and “your dad has filled your head with lies” I just finally got the courage to say the truth. I got into a fight with my closest friend a week later and after another month left middle school with no friends who wanted to talk to me, the schools biggest rumor after being forced to kiss a boy I barely even knew and in a really toxic relationship because of my own stupid fucking head that thought hyper-fixation = love. It was the most depressing time of my life and then everyone left outside of an ex who touched me in ways I didn’t want him to but was too scared to say no to.

I had to start fresh in high school. I didn’t have anyone to be with during lunch for the first month until a kind childhood classmate practically adopted me into her friend group. I got to tell them things when I was ready, I told them about her sucker punching me and they were the first group of friends I had that wasn’t too fucked up to say I was being abused.

Now I’m in college. I’m no contact with my mom and I unfortunately don’t talk to my friends from high school. It’s kinda hard when they all moved for college and out of the two who weren’t going to college, one is in Florida and the other is trying to gain enough credits to graduate high school.

#toxic mother #trauma #tw cursing #tw trauma #tw vent #vent #tw abuse #middle school #vent post

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strawberrysatellite · 8 months

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put my name at the top of your list.

inspired by taylor swift’s the last time

hi!!

long time no see- so sorry. blame school. and illness. aaaannnnyyywayyyy- i’m back! can’t promise regular posting because i have the biggest exams of my life coming up!! but!! i’ll try!! this one’s pretty heavy angst which i love. i’m sorry.

possible tws: manipulation, angst, alcohol, cheating (debatable), mention of childhood trauma, toxic relationship

word count: 2.9k

Y/N didn’t know where her and Harry stood.

It had been this way for a while. She had no idea if they were ‘together’ or if they were just friends with some kind of benefits (even then she isn’t really sure because he isn’t around enough to follow through on those so-called benefits), or if they were just simply friends.

It was embarrassing honestly. When all her friends were talking about their boyfriends and flourishing relationships, and here she is not even able to get a text back from the boy who supposedly was ‘infatuated’ with her- his words, not hers,

And that’s where Y/N gets confused. For someone who was supposedly ‘infatuated’ with her, he didn’t show it. He never held her hand in public, was hardly ever actually around, would only go out with her if it involved a group setting, and she had even seen him talking to other girls at parties. She hates the mixed signals. Would much rather he just told her straight up. She hates waiting around for someone who barely even acknowledges her.

She hates it.

Her friends have all told her to block him. Forget about his very existence. And she would! She really would. But then she remembers all the good in him and falls right back into him again.

She remembers that one time she was in a rut. An endless, bleak, miserable rut that she thought would be impossible to climb out of- couldn’t find the strength in her own hands to claw her way out of this deep hole she had fallen into.

And there was Harry.

Equipped with a large tub of her favourite strawberry ice cream (the stuff you can only get at her favourite italian spot halfway across the city) and a weighted blanket that smelled of his lavender fabric softener. He barged his way into her flat, shoved a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and covered them both in the blanket. Snuggled up on her second hand couch, barely a word was uttered by either of them. Once the tears came, he merely wrapped his arms around her and held her there the entire night until her tears slowly stopped and her eyes drooped, stuck together with sadness and his lips pressed gently to her temple.

She remembers how he used to send flowers to her flat- only ever pink tulips or bouquets of wildflowers because he knew those were her favourites- with a handwritten note attached to the front, and always wrapped in brown paper and a lace ribbon. Those notes are still hidden somewhere away in her bedside drawer.

I miss you, honey. Kisses- H

These are almost as beautiful as you. H

Counting down the days until I see you again xx H

I’ll tell the moon to look after you while I can’t. Your H xx

She remembers how they used to bump into each other in the library on campus, tucked away at the very back corner where the shelves collected dust and held their whispers. They had their own table that no one else even knew of; they would sit across from each other- her with her anatomy textbook cracked open in front of her and her eyes frantically roaming the page, him with a worn novel in between his fingers, eyes fixated on her. After a while, his staring would become too much and she would sheepishly glance up, only to find him with his chin in the palm of his hand and his eyes glazed, looking at her as if she hung the moon and individually placed the stars in the sky just for him.

Then she remembers the weeks of radio silence. Complete and utter emptiness that would just make her spiral even more.

It’s unfair and jarring. He’ll be gone for days on end, not even bothering to read her messages asking if he’s okay, and then all of sudden she’ll get a message at 3 in the morning, saying he’s waiting to be buzzed up to her flat.

When he’s actually around he’s incredible. When it’s just her and him, she feels like the rest of the world melts away. His absence doesn’t bother her, she barely remembers him having been gone. Harry is sweet and attentive, he’s gentle and always affectionate, he talks to her like she is the most important thing in his life, and looks at her like she hung the very moon and stars that light his way home at night.

But. When he’s around others…he turns into a completely different person; he keeps his hands to himself, barely even glances her way, laughs with his mates with a pint in his hand as if he hadn’t just been telling her how lovely she was the night before. How much he wanted to be with her. How he saw a future with her.

It fucking hurts.

Y/N’s heart is constantly being tugged in two directions.

And she is so sick of it. She’s tired. So very, very tired.

It all piles up on her at once; it’s the end of her third year at uni, deadlines are due, she’s battling off some kind of viral infection that makes everything hurt (even breathing is a struggle at this point), and now Harry has decided it’s one of those weeks where he doesn’t want anything to do with her. She’s so emotionally drained that she can’t even find it in herself to text him checking on him (even though she knows it’s a waste- he never. Ever. Replies). Between being waist deep in her thesis and having to complete gruelling shifts at the only coffee shop on campus, Harry is truly not on her list of priorities.

Until he shows up at her flat with an accusatory look on his face.

She can already tell this is going to be a long night.

“Hi Harry.”, Y/N’s voice comes out as a scratchy sigh as she opens the door, exasperated tone emphasising the illness she’s combatting.

“You gonna let me in?”. His immediately defensive tone makes her brows furrow in annoyance and confusion.

An unbelieving scoff leaves her lips, “Not if you’re gonna talk to me like that, no.”

He pushes past her anyway, the blanket she had wrapped around her falling down her shoulders as she shuts the door behind him, her eyes rolling. She’d normally be more accommodating but she truly cannot find it in herself to care about him right now. “Oh, you want to talk now?” He asks incredulously.

Y/N’s frustrated sigh echoes in her living room- still a mess from her intense revision session he interrupted. “What are you talking about, Harry? I don’t have time for thi-”

“You haven’t texted me at all for a week. Do you know how that feels?” His eyes narrow, piercing her as if she’s the villain.

Her eyes widen and she can’t help the laugh that escapes her at his audacity.

“Believe it or not, Harry, I don’t sit around while you leave, pining for you. Don’t fucking flatter yourself. And yes, you hypocrite. I know exactly how that feels: you fuck me and tell me all this bullshit about you being obsessed with me, and then leave for weeks at a time. No message, no phone call, nothing.” Her frustrations pour out of her at once. Harry only shakes his head. It infuriates her even more.

“That’s none of your business, Y/N. I don’t have to be with you 24/7.”

And he’s completely missed the point.

“I never said that, Harry. It would just be nice to know where you disappear off to for literal weeks at a time. It’s getting old waiting for you. I’m tired. I’m tired of being your last priority and you expecting me to have you as my first.” As her angry words flow out of her, she realises just how drained she actually is. Frustrated tears well in her eyes and she blinks furiously to rid them but a few traitorous ones trickle down her face.

Harry’s face softens significantly at the sight of her tears.

“It’s not like that, Y/N, I promis-” His gentle words contrast his former tone, as if he’s become a different person in a matter of seconds.

With an angry eye roll, Y/N’s hands come up to wipe roughly at her wet face, “Don’t make promises you know aren’t true, Harry. Don’t do that to me. Please.”

The wooden floorboards underneath his boots creak as Harry crosses Y/N’s living room, hands finding her own, “I’m…I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you anymore. I can promise that.”

Blame it on her muddled brain. Or just the fact that Harry is in front of her and she just can’t say no to him. But she believes him.

It’s not too long before Y/N begins regretting believing Harry’s promise. She begged him not to make it, but he did anyway.

Not even a month later, and Harry has disappeared on her again.

Her tolerance for his behaviour is significantly lower than it has been previous times. Self-worth is a wonderful thing.

So, she decides that he can go to hell. She’s going to go out and get happy-drunk (there are certain levels to Y/N’s drunk scale; when she’s tipsy, she wants to make friends with everyone and she feels so warm and fuzzy. Anything after that and she’s crying on the nearest shoulder she can find, inconsolable in the bathroom with some other friendly drunk girls who always give her drunk big sister advice.) and have a good time. Without a single thought of Harry coming into her mind.

She puts on her nicest going out dress- her black, flowy, lacey one that she feels Stevie Nicks would approve of- and some comfy but cute boots, fluffing her hair and even putting lashes on. It’s the nicest she’s felt about her appearance in a while; uni is finally over until October, her shifts at the coffee shop have been less stressful due to students going back home, and she got amazing marks on her recent exams. Now that she looks cute, she has no excuse but to love herself.

It’s really hard to not think about Harry, however, when he turns up at the club Y/N is at.

Of all the clubs in the city, he chooses this one.

To make matters worse, he has one arm wrapped around the waist of a girl who is the complete opposite of her in every way.

She’s a firm believer in the notion that someone else’s beauty doesn’t make her any less beautiful.

It’s just hard to believe that when the boy who is supposedly head over heels for her is currently staring at another girl how he does to her.

Or used to. Whatever.

Deciding it’s not even worth it anymore, Y/N grabs her bag and hurries out of the club, being forced to walk past Harry due to his oh so inconvenient position of standing right by the door. It’s significantly colder now than it was when she first arrived, the cold air biting at her face and causing her already fragile temperament to erupt into complete and utter sadness. When will she learn.

It’s like she’s stuck in this vicious cycle of self destruction. She knows. She knows every single time how it will end. But she can’t bring herself to get rid of him. It feels like she’s purposefully keeping him around to harm herself.

Truthfully, she knows exactly why she keeps him around.

Y/N’s ever been a very outgoing person. All through school, she kept her head down and just wanted to get away from home and the fighting and the loudness and just everything. As a result of her quietness, she was always overlooked at school. She was the girl that everyone knew but no one knew well enough to actually want to be friends with her.

And don’t even get her started on boys. Boys only ever looked her way if they needed answers for exams, knowing she was far too quiet to ever say no for fear of ridicule or torment. She was used over and over again, and then dropped when she was of no use to them anymore.

So when she gets to uni and all of a sudden this beautiful boy is taking interest in her, she’s thrown into the deep end. Before Harry, she had only ever kissed a handful of people- slept with maybe two. Attention like his was something completely foreign to her. And she wanted to keep that. Wanted to capture it and hide it away, keep him for herself and be the centre of his universe as she was his (or so she thought at the time).

Whether that meant losing herself along the way, she didn’t see until now.

Now that she thinks about it, Harry does exactly what the boys at school used to do to her. Keep her around for a while and drop her when they feel like it.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she makes a beeline for the tube station a couple roads away from the club, only to slightly stumble when she hears the sound of footsteps behind her. Her hand falls to her purse where she knows her keys are in case she needs to defend herself.

It isn’t until a familiar voice shouts her name with a slight slur that she stops fully.

“Y/N! Wait- stop. Please!”

Desperation is clear in Harry’s voice, his obviously alcohol fueled body tripping over himself in his hurry to catch up with her.

Y/N’s eyes are still teary when she reluctantly turns to face him, “What?”

Her voice is harsher than he’s ever heard before, jaded with exasperation and sounding like shards of glass to his eardrums. Where did the soft girl he knew go?

Y/N’s eyebrows raise in questioning the longer he stands there staring silently, mouth agape and brows furrowed in confusion, “Well?”

“I’m- it wasn’t-'' An unintelligible mumble of utter mush comes out of his mouth, further pushing her buttons.

A sarcastic laugh shoots from her mouth, a single syllable of a scoff loud enough to make him shift in nervousness. His hand comes up to rub at his cheek, showing his apprehension.

“Do not tell me it ‘wasn’t what it looked like’, Harry. Don’t do that to me.”

The words are sword edges, shards of glass that once were frames of pictures of them, bullets made of the strongest steel, laced with poison.

“Look- I know. I know I fucked up- but I promise she’s just a friend. Nothing more.”

His words are rushed, filled with a restless nervous energy, vibrating from his very pores.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Really, Harry? You drop off the face of the Earth for nearly a month and the next time I see you, you’re snuggled up to some girl? And you have the nerve to tell me it’s not what it looks like? Fucking unbelievable.”

The roll of her eyes makes his brows furrow in something more like anger, “Oh, and you’re such a saint, yeah? What about them boys from school, hm? Those ones that follow you round like fucking dogs.”

“What are you even talking about? What boys? I haven’t had the fucking time to talk to anyone else considering I’ve been worrying about you for the last three weeks.” His words are completely irrational, and she can feel herself getting even more teary in her rage.

“Right, okay. So that James you keep going round campus with- he means nothing, yeah?”

“Oh my god. Yes, Harry! He does mean nothing. Because- believe it or not- I’m capable of talking to someone in my fucking classes without wanting to shag them. All I ever wanted was to be at the top of your list. Not even the top- just of some importance to you.”

At this point, they’re almost nose to nose. Matching expressions of pure rage on both of their faces. Harry’s next words are practically spat into her face.

“Just because you’re scared of intimacy, huh? Poor little Y/N, never got any attention from boys so now she has to chase me around to find it.”

Even Harry knows it’s a low-blow. As soon as he says it, he wishes he could take it back. In the blink of an eye, he sees her heart shatter. The fury on Y/N’s face completely dissipates in a split second, morphing into a look of complete betrayal; he used her biggest weakness against her. Like it was some kind of wild card he could pull at any moment to blindside her, sweeping her feet out from under her and wracking the foundations of her being. He knew. He knew that would gut her and he went for it anyway.

Her hand finds its way to her neck as if he just slashed a vital artery, her blood spilling out of her and pouring onto the pavement below their feet. A tsunami of hurt.

“No, Y/N- I didn’t. That wasn’t what I meant-”

The desperation from earlier returns to his voice as she turns away from him, her face hidden in the shadows of the city.

It almost feels mocking, in a way.

The buildings around her are lit up in jovial neon lights, people laughing and talking all around her, music echoing from every pub in the street. Life still carries on around her even though she feels like her world just stopped turning. These people don’t know what just happened, even though to her it feels like a fatality.

“Just stop. Please, Harry. Stop.”

Her begging cuts him deeply. He didn’t mean to go that far.

“I’m sorry. So, so sorry, Y/N- I promise. I would neve-”

“Please. Please, Harry.”

His mouth snaps shut like a reprimanded child.

“I need to be alone for a bit, okay?” A sad smile appears for a fraction of a second.

“No- please. Just one more chance, Y/N. This is the last time, I promise. I won’t hurt you again.”

He begs like a sinner looking for repentance.

Like a lost child looking for their mother.

Like a ghost grieving from the grave.

“The last time was the last time, Harry.”

#harry styles #x yn #harry x yn #love on tour #music #taylor swift #red tv #the last time #harry fanfic #fanfiction

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delightningfield · 2 years

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the Astrology of Naruto (chaotic mode)

I'm not sure if this has been done before and if it has I hope I'm not cramping on your style:

This comes from me being inspired to look up Naruto's son Boruto's birthday and realizing theres a whole list of birthdays for many major main characters from all 3 shows (Naruto, Naruto: Shippuden, & Boruto).

This is my undrafted, copy-pasted-to-be-formatted-and-expanded-upon take from my crazy twitter thread about an hour or two ago. This is a relatively live reaction to seeing how each character is symbolized by their sun sign whether its through small behavioral traits or overarching characters themes. PS spoilers for all of Naruto but none for Boruto, I... HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! I'm a sucker for a main show using its sequel to critique the generational differences of war-torn versus peaceful times.

Those in bold are specifically mentioned-

♑️: guy, gaara, konohamaru, hinata

♒️: minato, the 2nd & 3rd hokage, shino

♓️: tenten, sakura

♈️: sidenote*

♉️: choji, kankuro, killer bee

♊️: iruka, itachi

♋️: neji, kiba

♌️: sasuke, lady tsunade, yamato

♍️: temari, kakashi

♎️: shikamaru, ino, naruto, asuma

♏️: 1st hokage, jiraiya, shizune

♐️: rock lee, sai

lets break it down CARDINALLY folks:

CAPRICORN KING GAARA!! LAND OF WIND'S YOUNGEST KAZEKAGE HAS A CARDINAL SUN?? TRAUMA SPECIFICALLY INDUCED BY HIS FATHER? SATURN I SEE U! ✅

MANSPLAIN MANIPULATE EVIL-SUPREMACY NEJI IS ABSOLUTELY A CANCER SUN! one thing abt me, i praise every sign but ill never forgive the water signs for always finding a way back to being their stereotypes. & some mild joking hate to cancers (especially the evil ones) but neji is a perfect example of family-backed trauma because he was motivated to beat the shit out of his baby cousin and for what... revenge for his dad bc of generational beef? piss off & die to death LOL ✅

I've always known he was a Libra... BUT NARUTO WHO IS OBSESSED WITH HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH THAT HE WANTS TO BE THE GUY WHO PROTECTS THEM AND THEIR FAMILIES? A KING WHO IS A BIGHEARTED CRYBABY WHO WANTS HIS FRIENDS TO SUCCEED AND BECOME BETTER THAN THEY ARE & SHIKAMARU THE OBJECTIVE KING WHO BECOMES THE FIRST IN HIS ERA/GRADUATING CLASS TO BECOME A CHUNIN, YES THEY ARE ABSOLUTE LIBRA LEGENDS ✅

*Naruto's first 2 series has no Aries sun lead! which is so interesting because his fucking child is an Aries! so the sequel show (which leads with his child Boruto instead of him) leads with Naruto's cardinal opposition! so seeing their dynamic as a Libra father & an Aries child? how theyre so alike yet so different? YEAH THATS LITERAL ASTROLOGY 5️⃣/5️⃣ 🏆🥇🎖🏅✨⭐️🌟💫

lets FIXate on how to break this down:

MINATO IS AN AQUARIUS?! THE GUY WHO'S DUMBASS IDEA IT WAS TO SEAL THE BIGGEST BADDEST DEMON IN THE CURRENT WORLD IN A NEWBORN BABY WITHOUT CONSENT, THE GUY WHO NAMES HIS CHILD AFTER THE MC THAT HIS SENSEI WROTE IN A SERIES ABOUT SOFT PORN? BUT ALSO MORE IMPORTANTLY: THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE RAASENGAN, A WINDSTYLE NINJUTSU, IS AN AIR SUN?? ✅

Choji & Jiraiya are self explanatory in the most stereotypical of Taurus & Scorpio suns' ways respectively NONETHELESS with Choji's snackabilities and Jiraiya's horniness its too obvious and on the nose that IDK which came first, their birthdates or the general description for these characters. BUT THE FIRST HOKAGE BECOMING THE FIRST LEADER FOR THEIR VILLAGE AFTER THE FIRST GREAT NINJA WAR (? im like unsure abt this, this specifically is an unsourced claim, remembering war details from shippuden feels like eating rocks), BUT HIM BEING A SCORPIO AKA A MARS RULED SUN SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT ✅✅✅

YAMATO: THE ONLY GUY ALIVE WITH WOODSTYLE NINJUTSU?? SASUKE: THE SOLE SURVIVOR OF THE UCHIHA CLAN MASSACRE??? LADY TSUNADE: THE ONLY LADY HOKAGE WITH A GAMBLING ADDICTION AND THE LUCK OF GARBAGE FIRE TO THIS DAY?? LEO SUNS, BECAUSE U GUYS THERE REALLY ISNT ANYONE DOING IT LIKE THEM ✅

AND IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE (mutably):

SAKURA: THE GIRL WHO CRIES WHEN HER CHILDHOOD CRUSH SPEAKS IS A PISCES SUN?? BUT ALSO THE GIRL WITH OTHERWORLDLY (PHYSICAL) STRENGTH? WORKING IN HEALTHCARE?? PISCES ICON ✅

IRUKA SENSEI WHOS BEEN THERE FOR NARUTO SINCE EPISODE ONE AND IS THE FIRST PERSON TO CATCH AND THEREFORE NURTURE NARUTO'S TRUE CHARACTER?? ITACHI THE OLDER BROTHER WHO COMMITTED WAR CRIMES AND TURNED AGAINST A WHOLE VILLAGE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY TO PROTECT HIS YOUNGER BROTHER, THE SOLE MASSACRE SURVIVOR EVEN SO FAR AS TO PROTECT HIM FROM THE TRUTH OF WHY EVERYTHING WENT DOWN HOW IT DID? GEMINI KINGS ✅

THE METHODICAL KAKASHI AND TACTICAL TEMARI AS FUCKING VIRGO SUNS ABSOLUTELY YES BC TEMARI WAS THE STRONGEST GIRL CHARACTER WITH A SENSE OF SELF (until [redacted]), KAKASHI WAS ALWAYS GIVING OFF MUTABLE ENERGY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HIS NONCHALANT ATTITUDE ABOUT EVERYTHING, EVEN AS THE 6TH HOKAGE. THE ONLY PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE THAT I KNEW GROWING UP WHO WERE 10000% SURE OF WHO THEY WERE BEFORE THEY EVEN BECAME THEIR TRUE SELVES ARE ALL VIRGOS ✅

ROCK LEE LITERALLY OPENS EVERY GATE OF LEAF OR WHATEVER DURING A SCHOOL EXAM?? POINT TO A JUPITER SUN THAT HASNT PUT THEIR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR SOME DUMB SHIT!! THATS MY SAGITTARIUS KING! HE LITERALLY ALWAYS PUTS HIS LIFE ON THE LINE FOR HIS CRUSH TOO HES JUST THE PRIME EXAMPLE OF GO BIG OR GO HOME!! & CROP TOP KING SAI WHO HAS THE BRAIN OF A NEW SPONGE SOAKING IN EVERYTHING FROM EVERY INTERACTION HE HAS BC HE SEES IT ALL AS A LESSON? THATS JUPITER TO THE FUCKING CORE, I SEE YOU KING✅

Sincerely, a Sagittarius stellium ☄️

PS... I stand by this: all Naruto fans need to watch Boruto challenge!

For trackability, I'm linking my shorter-less detailed twitter thread: https://twitter.com/jupiterignited/status/1551498520070303745?s=21&t=R0BYp8qePAz6aM2AWCLprA but please by all means do everything you can to not confuse my twitter account as a space for more astrology content bc its absolutely not LOL

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hawkinsschoolcounselor · 2 years

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As someone who's still young and found fandom in my tweens it makes me glad to see adults around still enjoy fandom and fangirling/fanboying because it's something I've done literally since early childhood, before I found the internet communities, and I can't see myself ever letting this hobby go. Which makes me wonder, when did You find fandom? How long have you been a part of it? Doesn't matter if it's ST or another fixation :)

You're never too old to fanboy/girl something. Never. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Those people just forgot what it's like to enjoy things.

Like I said in a previous Ask, this is my first real fandom. I've been really into stuff before, but I've never really engaged in the fandom. My biggest interests aside from Stranger Things are the MCU, Warcraft, and Legend of Zelda, though.

I don't know if I'll ever get into another fandom like this one again. It just felt right this time. Only time will tell.

#follower milestone #2000 followers #stranger things

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canmom · 2 years

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Animation Night 111: Studio Ghibli, 1988

Hello friends! It is That Night once again~

Tonight we have an Animation Night whose numeral is all 1s, which seems like some sort of significant occasion - indeed, the next time we can expect this kind of thing will be in another 111 animation nights. So, let’s watch something significant!

So tonight, we’ll be resuming our history of Hayao Miyazaki, Isao Takahata and Studio Ghibli! This picks us up from, ahem...

Animation Night 41: Isao Takahata - a brief guide to Takahata’s career

Animation Night 70: all right then Hayao, let’s do This - about Miyazaki and Takahata’s early years at Toei and the TMS orbit

Animation Night 100: One Zero Zero - the founding of Studio Ghibli, and the big guys’ respective big jidaigeki films, Princess Mononoke and The Tale of Princess Kaguya

Tonight we’ll be returning to the earlier years of the studio, for what must be one of the most... conceptually jarring double bill premieres in film history: the night that people got to watch My Neighbour Totoro (となりのトトロ) and Grave of the Fireflies () back to back!

There are of course no Hayao Miyazaki characters more visually iconic than Totoro, who indeed quickly became the logo of Ghibli. A playful, fluffy round forest spirit who keeps an eye out for children, Totoro is very much an evolution of the design of the panda character in Panda Kopanda (1972), created by Miyazaki and Takahata back in their days at A-pro...

In 1988, Studio Ghibli had gotten off to a strong start. Their first two movies, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984, technically animated at Topcraft, but created by the staff who would become Ghibli) and Castle in the Sky (1986), were both grand fantasy adventure movies. So both Totoro and Fireflies represented pretty large departures for the studio: for Takahata, it was his first time directing a full movie, and also a major break in terms of tone: a tragic realist war drama in a period when fantasy films were all the rage. For Miyazaki, it was a return to the more children-oriented works he’d made in his TMS days, but with his new extremely ambitious approach to animation. (Not everyone could, after all, rely on Yoshinori Kanada to take their key scenes!)

[Nausicaa, like Miyazaki’s previous The Castle of Cagliostro, can be placed within the broader trend of the rise of ‘bishōjo’ characters as an object of fan fixation, a subject I’ll be getting into when I write the next couple of posts in the evolution of the anime girl series but for now, see Watzky I guess!]

As much as these films seem incredibly different was that both centre on Japanese children in historical settings, and both deal in some way with death and grief. Miyazaki’s film represents a pastoral ideal of lost childhood in the countryside, overshadowed by the absence of a sick mother; the one crisis in the film comes when a child vanishes and everyone is afraid she might have drowned accidentally. Takahata’s film, meanwhile, follows children in the chaos of war in a fashion that can be compared Barefoot Gen (1983, Animation Night) - but this was Takahata’s big statement as a ‘realist’ director, and so aesthetically the approach it takes is quite distinct.

This is actually quite a significant occasion for me since, well, I haven’t actually seen Grave of the Fireflies! It’s one of the absolute biggest gaps in the Ghibli films I’ve seen. So to talk about it, I’ll have to turn to other writers. There is a fascinating article by Matteo Watzky which I keep coming back to, comparing the approaches of three ‘realist’ directors who work in animation - Satoshi Kon, Naoko Yamada and Takahata. In Watzky’s description, the ‘realism’ of Takahata, at least in this film, is a painfully beautiful approach to the way light falls on bodies and the detailed subtleties of acting, which are key to realising the film’s central symbol of a field of fireflies. Let me quote one of the most interesting passages from his essay:

Indeed, the set-up and its three layers (the flashback, the ghosts, and us the viewer) invite us to reflect not only on what’s happening, but on its consequences. The very choice of the medium of animation is also telling. Indeed, the moments when the choice of realism is the most striking is when we are shown close-ups of mutilated or dying bodies. One could argue that here, we are meant to witness the horror of war in detail and that realism is what makes us believe in what we see, and in turn react to it.

In fact, I’d say it’s the exact contrary. To understand this, we must reformulate my initial question : not “why realism ?” but “why animation, and not live-action ?” If this were live-action, we would indeed have no choice but to turn away our gaze in fear and horror (see, for example, the unbearable Hiroshima scenes in Shôei Imamura’s Black Rain). But since this is animation, these are just drawings and we know they are – which means that we don’t react to dead bodies as we would “real” people (that is actors) in agony. The distance created by the choice of the medium allows the gaze to be not pathetic or empathetic, but on the contrary, almost voyeuristic. There is indeed something profoundly upsetting about Takahata’s insistence on the degradations of the body, especially when said body is a young child’s. And I’d argue that this insistence is not meant to create pathos, but that it is cold and analytical – a study of death as it progresses in and on the body. This isn’t to say that Takahata is a sadistic director, who likes to torture his viewers with the sight of suffering : I believe that the distance created towards the pain on the screen invites the viewer to an even more critical look of Seita’s and Japan’s responsibility, and of Setsuko herself. Indeed, her dying body is not unbearable to watch – and precisely because of that, we have no choice but to watch, to be confronted to the utter horror that is her gratuitous death.

The same could be said of one of the movie’s climaxes and one of its most famous scenes – the fireflies sequence. We could say it is the culmination of the movie’s realistic aesthetic : the movements are slow and deliberate, the lighting is masterful and beautifully enhances the volume of the bodies – creating the all-important sense of presence. But at the same time, it’s the most unreal scene of the movie : the night setting, the overbearing music and the short-lived happiness all frame it like a dream. Even more importantly, the animation itself bears that contradiction : the light and shading on the bodies emphasizes the volume, but it does so to an unbelievably high degree, to the point that it feels like too much. We do forget that what we see are drawings, but what precisely are we seeing ? The two children look like real people as much as they do moving statues.

This way, Takahata, just like the two other directors I’m about to cover, doesn’t just follow the principles of realism. He either goes around them with the elaborate construction of a metanarration, or goes even deeper and surpasses realism at the same time that he’s following it. To put it in more abstract and energetic terms, he makes realism implode – that is, he destroys and transcends it from the inside.

So, what of the decision to place these two movies back to back? If Grave of the Fireflies takes such an approach to the responsibility of Japan for the deaths of these children, what does it mean to put it alongside Totoro? Does the contrast undercut the romantic setting of its companion film? Or do they complement each other, providing two different facets of the idea of ‘being a Japanese child’?

I’m honestly not sure, and that’s kind of why I want to recreate this double-bill: precisely to see the emotional effect of this unlikely combination (even if, of course, we can’t recreate the context of going to the theatre in Japan in 1988!). Of course rather than any artistic effect, part of the reason is financial: Ghibli was not yet at this point the juggernaut it became, so despite the difficulties of working on two films back to back, it was apparently judged the most profitable approach to direct two films at once.

Anyway, it’s about time I got started, but I wanted to make one last comment: Yoshinori Kanada (Animation Night 62, though god I need to give that one a proper writeup since it’s soooo cursory), the star ‘charisma animator’, returned once again, animating some of the most complex sequences of the film of the Catbus flying to the hospital. It’s interesting because the Ghibli models are quite a lot more complex than Kanada’s earlier preferences, although I think you can see some of that Kanada flair in the bus’s expressions, and of course he loooooved background animation and this sequence has plenty of that.

Even at this early stage in the lifespan of Ghibli, these films are also of course a statement in terms of character animation. Miyazaki and Takahata’s disdain for limited animation and the Mushi-pro lineage is infamous, and now with their own successful studio they finally had the ability to pour all the resources they needed into defining their own school. It’s not exactly Disney-like ‘full animation’, since it still made a certain use of the Kanada-school approach to lower framerates and expressive varied-tempo movement, and of course the layout system where animators are responsible for cuts rather than characters. But even so, Ghibli are quite distinctive within anime.

Their animation has a heavy emphasis on form - we come to understand Totoro through Mei’s physical interactions by bouncing on his belly. The way hair fluffs up, the detailed cel shading, the squashy mouths are all very distinctively recognisable as Ghibli hallmarks here.

And I think that’s all I have time to say. Why is there always such little time in the world? Oh, yeah, it’s because I stayed up all night writing about Umineko... 😅

Animation Night 111 will be live in just a minute, and films will start in maybe half an hour. Apologies, this is going to be running late again - hope you don’t mind staying up. We’ll lead with Grave of the Fireflies and follow up with Totoro - as brutal as it would be to go the other way around I think that’s probably the kindest option! So if you’d like to join, please drop in to twitch.tv/canmom sometime soon...

Edit: If you want to read something more substantial, I wrote a longer article comparing Grave of the Fireflies to two other films about children in the war, Barefoot Gen and In This Corner of the World! See here!

#animation night #studio ghibli #my neighbour totoro #grave of the fireflies

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intothesolitude · 2 years

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I just re-read one of my favorite shoujo mangas back in college, and now that I can articulate my feelings better I want to put it down in a notes here.

The manga is called Otonari Complex

It’s about two childhood bestfriend where the girl is tall and boy-ish looking while the boy is shorter and often cross-dress as a girl.

One of the biggest reasons why I love this manga so much is because how soft they are with their feelings. I love both of the main characters so much, both are huge shining green lights. Both of them understand how important each other is and try really hard to handle their feelings as carefully as possible. Even when the guy confessed to her, he felt sorry because he felt as if he did not consider her feelings.

I’m a sucker for bestfriend to lovers trope, but they’re often done very rashly. I feel like this one was executed with the right pace. I love how we get to see how intimate they’re with each other in their daily life, far before we got to see their feelings for one another unravel. And damn it’s very satisfying to see how their story progressed.

Look at this panel below and tell me it does not make you feel things. Everything with them just feels so soft and comfortable, it’s grand and subtle at the same time.

-----

However, one thing that really made this one a personal favorite of mine is just how much I identify with Akira.

You see, as a girl I have always had a larger built than other girls my age. I have never gotten bullied or anything, but even in my mind I knew I wasn’t the image of what ‘pretty girls’ should look like. I was taller than all of the girls I knew, so ever since I was just a kid I would hunch down a little, hoping that it would somehow make me shorter (hence I have a terrible posture now). I would avoid anything that looked cute, because I was not cute. I would avoid wearing pink, simply because I did not think I was cute enough to be wearing something pink. I would avoid dresses or any girly clothing and accessories because I believed I would look like a clown if I had worn them. I earnestly believed that these cute things would look so much better on my friends, on any other kids but me.

So, when Akira was fixated on that one girly pump shoes but thought that it would never fit her, I could see myself in her. And then when she finally had the courage to ask for her size and was too heartbroken to hear that they did not have her size there, I almost cried. I literally used to cry when shopping for shoes because I knew that it would only lead to heartbreaks. I knew I would not be able to get the ones I find pretty. Hence, I would tell my mom to just get me a unisex converse shoes. I told her that they were comfortable and trendy, I was just shielding myself from another heartbreak.

And don’t get me started on being close with guys while knowing that they would never look at you as a girl.

However, while we might have almost similar issues with feminity, Akira is so much cooler than me. She knew what she was comfortable with. Her insecurity doesn’t keep her from being a wholesome person. Her issue does not stop her from acing the volleyball club. Her issue does not stop her from being a sincere and positive person to everyone around her. Hence, Makoto falls for her regardless of how she looks. He adores her when she’s being her usual casual self, he adores her when she tries wearing different things.

I wish I was as cool as her. Then maybe I’d have someone that can look at me like a girl too lol.

I just love how Makoto deals with her. I know I’ve repeated the word ‘soft’ for so many times here, but I cannot find better word to describe them. He did not completely understand the issue that Akira was going through, so he threaded carefully. He matched her pace and waited. I.... am so jealous. He’s just perfect.

----

This is my first time ever writing it down. I have never spoken about it to anyone, not even my mom or my best friends. I would always act as if I don’t care about body issues at all because I believed that if I never admit it, it could never be used against me.

I was 27 years old when I started wearing dresses on regular basis. I used to wear it only for special occasion, or whenever I was on holiday where no one would know me. My biggest achievement in the age of 27 is coming to term with how much I love wearing dresses.

Would it have been different if I had someone telling me that they’d like me no matter what? That I was cool no matter what I chose? Would it have been easier to accept myself?

#personal #like... very personal #shoujo #manga #otonari complex #tw: body image #tw: body issues #tw: body insecurity #please don't come at me if you disagree with my characters interpretation

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burningfaith · 1 year

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6 for fandom questions!

Thanks for the ask! It's excellent question and I'll gladly answer this with burning passion :>

6. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

ABSOLUTELY. I mean, there aren't many of these ships, but still...

Yukari x Mitsuru from Persona 3 is probably the biggest example, when I can't stand pairing just because of the shippers. Because, well, you know, if two girls have very complicated relationship and good chemistry they can't just end as friends, they must be lovers! And obviously one of them is lesbian coded (spoiler: she's not) and the second one is bi queen, but only as long as you ship her with the girl mentioned before. Just try to ship her with a boy she canonically had feelings for and you'll end up being called homophobe lol. I really liked YukaMitsu, but seriously, this kind of fans made me hate this ship. Yukiko x Chie from Persona 4 is close to this state too, because if they're childhood friends they must be lovers too, you can't ship them with any male! And it's coming from person who loves trope "(childhood) friends to lovers", so you just can imagine what things are happening in fandom at times. :')

I wasn't fan of Eren x Mikasa from SnK at first, but all the people screaming how they are perfect ship (lmao no.) made me become the hater. Yes, it was very healthy relationship and Eren treated Mikasa like a true gentleman he was... in shippers imagination.

And from old times of my Overwatch fixation... McHanzo (idk and idc how this ship is called now, after they changed McCree's name in-game). I have no idea how OW lore looks like now, but at that time they didn't even know each other in canon, not to mention that McCree didn't look like person who could be in a relationship with a dude who almost killed his bestie (and Hanzo's younger brother at the same time).

These are the ones who came to my mind immediately after seeing the question and yes, I'm a nasty little hater with shitty taste.

#answered #ask game

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mirei-nari · 9 months

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Oh here's another one. My 6th grade graduation. I had a dress for this one though. Except no one showed up for this either. I had maybe a max of 5 leis because I had 3 teachers in my class thay year because it was the biggest class. And like 2 from my friends' parents. Everyone else had leis up to their eyes. This day I vividly remember walking home in that dress with 5 leis that I put in my bag. I don't remember if I cried or anything. I know I'm crying now just thinking about it. I've been to every single one of my cousin's graduations but no one came to the first and last one I ever had.

That's probably why I didn't finish high school. Because I knew my graduation wouldn't matter. Plus my parents didnt care enough. Thought I was independent and disciplined enough to do online schooling instead. Look where that put me.

Another one is probably the camping trip from 5th grade as well. My dad dropped me off that morning. I remember him being annoyed because I had to be there early for the bus. That field trip was so fun even though I did get hurt. My dad's friend that was living with us at the time picked me up. I don't remember much after getting into his car and getting home. I wasn't close with this friend at all so it was a silent ride home even though I really wanted to talk about the field trip. I don't think I talked to any adults about that field trip. Only people I talking about it with was my friends at the time. I wasn't asked why I had a huge bandage on my leg either. I know I cleaned it and redressed it by myself when I got home too.

Another one was in the 8th grade. I think this is when the depression started to kick in and I didn't even know at the time. One of my very best friends moved away and for a week straight I just locked myself up in my room and cried even though I didn't know why I was just so sad. As I got older I realized I was upset because my one of my best friends moved away i was never going to see her again. And I didn't know how to say I was sad about that. Because I remember thinking to myself "it's just someone moving away. Why are you so sad about it. You have other friends." And these were full on sobbing crying sessions. For a week straight. No one asked me why I was crying.

9th grade. My last year at the high-school. My best male friend since 4th grade got a girlfriend and she didn't like me at all and so that friendship ended. My other girl best friend and I got into a dramatic fight about God knows what in the rain. I walked home that day fucking crying. I remember walking into the house soaking wet and the first thing I heard someone say was "don't bring the rain in" like I had a fucking choice.

I got asked out as a fucking joke because, and these were the exact words, "someone had to take one for the team". That lasted a week because teenagers are stupid and can't keep their mouth shut. So when I found out I ended it and came home crying that day too. But hey. No one cared because my mom tried to kill herself after finding out my dad was cheating on her. Which they tried to hide but i wasnt stupid then. I just pretended to not notice because i knew they were hiding it from me. This is probably why I'm deathly afraid of any type of relationship other than friendship. This is probably why I hyper fixate on fictional characters so much. Not to mention when I turned 18 and my dad started the divorce process straight up told me he ONLY stayed with my mother because he did not want to pay child support. Lmao like how the hell do you tell that to your child and not expect it to fuck up their entire view of the world.

I think my family just didn't say anything because 1: they were too busy with their own lives and 2: just thought I was being a teenager.

Jfc. These aren't even everything. These are just the ones that stand out to me when I think about my childhood.

I really thought I just had a normal childhood. But reading what I've been writing made me fully realize that I did not in fact have a normal childhood. I had a very fucked up childhood and turned me into whatever the hell sad human being I am today. Lovely.

#personal #venting #im venting here because i cant afford therapy lol #bleh #i should really sleep

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gokupowers · 2 years

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do you have any tips for writing dave or rose?

!!!! i am no expert but!

dave: rambles, asks a lot of questions without waiting for the answer. his raps are truly shit. in terms of actions, i usually think of repressed closeted gay guys who compensate w hypermasculinity + the kind of people that are overly chill bc theyre super emotionally repressed. hes clearly a smart guy but he can't help but bring in a million references in all his jokes, and he remains very casual/flippant about most things (if he got stabbed, he would quip before reacting properly). later in the comic, he becomes more rambley but this is more clearly out of anxiety/habit than to be funny. it depends on which characterization you go with (early or late comic); pesterquest kinda makes him this shy blushing guy who poorly hides behind the cool guy mask, but 2009 dave was a genuine menace/vibe terrorist. like remember him and tavros' first interaction? thats p much what i think of most when i try to write him aggressively. for his rambles, i have ADHD and i have a rambley thought pattern so i just let my thoughts wander, though you might have to force yourself to do it. sometimes theres emotional beats i want to hit so i plan it out, but usually his main dialogue can be broken down into (genuine sentiment) (pop culture reference) (train of thought rambling to hide genuine sentiment) then rinse and repeat. he has a fixation on sex and dick jokes and hes very irreverent. sometimes he can be defensive. honestly the best tip is trying to remember his main character motivations: for me, i think his is being invulnerable. he's all about being the strongest person in the room; that can translate into social capital (cool guy persona/being perceived as cool), physical prowess, or whatever u want it to be. dave is a character that constantly wants to prove to himself and others that he cannot be hurt, even though he's actually kind of a sensitive guy (a pacifist whos forced to fight). his "coolness" (which is actually just being a fucking weirdo? i dont think dirk or dave actually know what being cool means other than apathetic. i def think he was homeschooled) is a mask and a compulsion, so keep that in mind! also, i think its good to have people as contrast to him bc hes so weird/aggressively chill to emphasize the weirdness of his own actions/behavior, cuz that gets lost when hes next to the other strilondes (karkat is a good comedic striaght man). one of the biggest flaws, i think, when people write him is when they make him this shy traumatized guy who can do no wrong. he clearly is capable of hurting people (and has done so!), usually as a result of his antagonistic bluster or violence. his whole character journey is about strength and confidence in a very masculine way, and that means that people can get hurt.

rose: she's literally susan sontag. most of her writing style is very similar to 70s-80s feminist scholarship, when most essays were about freud and phallic imagery. she has mommy issues and a penchant for passive aggression. like dave w irony and coolness, she hides behind big words/intellectualism and freudian psychoanalysis. they both deeply dislike not being in power/having control, though dave's comes from being conditioned into it and rose's is a genuine compulsion from her childhood. she has trouble being vulnerable/relinquishing that control. it should be noted that her psychoanalysis, while i think she's a smart girl, is almost entirely for show bc fruedian analysis is not really regarded as helpful/viable among contemporaries. she is constantly on the defense; she interprets her mom's well-meaning actions as cruelty, and doesn't trust easily/assumes the worst out of other people. when i think of her, i mostly just think: what would a lesbian with mommy/trust issues do? and its usually pretty straight forward from there. she pretends to be calm, but is prone to a lot of impulsivity and petty anger (blowing up eridans computer, blowing up her own planet/house). ironically, she's one of the easier characters for me to write, bc her character schtick is pretty much my academic writing. if you're struggling with dialogue or tone, just read some of sontag's writing LOL. like how in detective pony dirk plagiarizes a lot of derrida, i think rose would do the same with sontag. against interpretation is a good one if you're up for the read! also shes cuttingly sarcastic and smart/sees through things easily, but that can make her a really difficult person to get along with. dont be scared to make the characters unlikeable. cuz all of the HS characters kind of are unlikeable as people, esp if you dont know them well. like, shes the type of bitch to tell you john berger style all the flaws of marvel as a piece of military propaganda when you're just trying to watch chris evans' man boobs. for her, everything is deep/more than it appears on the surface. + her alcoholism is interesting because she hates giving up control, and alcoholism is what enables her to do so. i dont think most people understand inherently that she is a darker character. people do the whole horror terror stuff fine, but i mean that she is prone to cruelty and manipulation because its how she reacts to perceived danger. shes very girl dirk in that sense. people make her hyper-competent and hyper mentally healthy, but in my opinion? dont be afraid to make her a bitch, LOL.

if you get the chance lmk how your writing goes!! ^_^

#homestuck #rose lalonde #dave strider #writing #ask

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fedonciadale · 3 years

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Re: Sansa's first flowering. The very scant sources we have on girl's menarche (first menstrual cycles) suggest that the further you go back in time, the later a girl would experience her first menarche (the data I've seen from Norway shows that the average was 17 in the 1870's, with the number dropping to 13-12 over the next 120 years). Like, the idea that all girls begin menstruating in their early teens is a very recent one (cont.)

(2) But it's super telling that both Daenerys and Sansa have already gotten their periods at ages 12 and 13 (according to the wiki of ice and fire this is also the age at which most highborn girls flower?) making it okay in universe for them to be considered sexually mature. Basically Martin decided that even though girls are only considered women grown at age 16, they are conveniently considered ready to be bedded when they are much younger than that which... yikes.

(3) My point is, there is nothing to suggest that Sansa would be considered a 'late bloomer' if she experienced her first flowering at sixteen in the actual middle ages (or in any time prior to the 20th century, really). Like you, I want to give Martin the benefit of the doubt and put it down to ignorance but it's so hard with him giving 16 as the age of majority only for all of the girls in his work to flower when they are barely out of childhood and then be considered sexually mature 🤢

Hi there!

Agree with all of this.

And honestly, this idea that the period makes a girl/woman sexually mature is ridiculous.

Maturity is not about the development of the body but it is a question of where the girl/woman (or the boy for that matter) stand in regard to their social and mind development.

First menarche is dependent on different factors, nutrition being one of them. That is probably why GRRM thinks that highborn girls should have earlier periods.

But nutrition is not the only factor. Girls form the bourgeois background (who were well fed) also started their period rather late in the 19th century.

Another factor seems to be sleep. We sleep less nowadays and that accelerates puberty because the body gets less melatonin. Even how much a baby sleeps might get into that.

So, the gist of it is, that there are still things we don’t really know and research is still being done on that and GRRM is simply mistaken about some of the things.

I can only reiterate my opinion, that he should not have written the children so young. It’s his biggest mistake.

The fandom on the other side should also just stop to fixate on the first bleedings of the teenage girls. It says nothing about their maturity, not even about their bodily maturity. Girls can get their first period and still have virtually no breasts whatsoever, while others do already have breasts. Reading posts on how Ary@ will get her first period and become a courtesan always makes me shudder. Please, not even GRRM is that fucked up.

I mean GRRM really is not a biological expert. Just think about how all the Baratheons are blackhaired and how Ned knows that Joffrey & Co can only be Jaime’s because they don’t have Robert’s dark hair. Sry, not sry, that is not how genetics work.... So, he is wrong in several aspects.

Thanks!

#ask box #GRRM critical #Honestly there are subjects he has no idea about #World building in ASOIAF #Sansa Stark

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todrokishoto · 3 years

Text

times two | katsuki bakugou

summary: you deserved the world times two and bakugou couldn’t give it to you.

warning(s): swearing, heartbreak, angst, sad!bakugou

a/n: based on the song chicken tendies by clinton kane. um, idek where this came from. heard the song for the first time and this was born,,, so enjoy some mild bakugou angst, i guess??

also, my very first time writing for bnha/mha. just started the show two weeks ago soo (yeah, i know i’m slow). i’m currently watching season 4, so no spoilers pls

katsuki bakugou wasn’t usually at a loss for words. while he didn’t always have a clever retort or a proper answer to a question, he would at least typically respond with a half-assed insult.

so when his crimson eyes landed on the girl that was practically a spitting image of you, he surprised even himself as his words got slower and slower until they stopped all-together. his throat felt tight. chest heaving, he gasped for air.

izuku midoriya followed his friend’s — although bakugou would have his head on a platter if he uttered the word aloud — gaze. his green eyes were locked on the person that could quite literally pass as your twin. but it couldn’t be... could it? no, that was undeniably and unmistakably you.

and the blond hot-head knew it. he spotted all the telltales right away. how could he not; he knew you better than the back of his own hand. the biggest giveaway, though, was your dress. the one he had gifted you on your birthday last year.

he wondered if that was still her favorite color.

he watched quietly, unable to will his feet to move, as the car you had just gotten into shifted into gear and began its journey. as it merged with traffic, his chest tightened at the sight of your small hand shooting up through the sunroof.

“tch. why do you always do that?”

“i don’t know. i like the way the sun warms my skin. and the way the wind moves in-between my fingers... makes me feel so carefree.”

the memory was taken from his mind before he could fixate on it as the green-eyed hero next to him called out his childhood nickname. he didn’t have to look at the annoyingly energetic man to know he was sporting a worrisome expression. so he ignored him instead, stalking off as a quiet growl escaped his lips.

later that night, katsuki bakugou found himself alone on his balcony, trying his best to ignore the cold breeze caressing his exposed skin. he was also trying his very best to get the image of you from before out of his mind. he was a pro hero, for fuck’s sake, and he couldn’t afford to be distracted.

he refused to dwell on the irony of it all. how your relationship had dwindled due to his irrepressible need to constantly prove himself; to become number one. he was too focused on his hero duties, you had said. but now, he couldn’t focus on said duties even if he wanted to - mind too preoccupied with painful memories of you.

the silence engulfing him was deafening. he hated it. he missed your bubbly laugh. he missed your gentle ‘let’s go lay down’s. he missed your constant smile. he missed your blaring music and mediocre dance moves. shit, he even missed hearing his own voice scolding you.

anything was better than the silence he couldn’t escape.

he missed you.

you were always so full of love. full of laughter. always so carefree and positive. the literal sunshine of their class at u.a. high. as his classmates loved to point out; the literal opposite of him. he was explosive and straight-to-the-point while you were cheerful and (sometimes) a little naive.

he wasn’t quite sure what post-breakup stage he had reached. he never really could bring himself to pay attention whenever kirishima and kaminari talked about it. all he knew was that all the pent-up rage and frustration that had once resided within him was now replaced by sadness and self-hatred.

the signs had been there, he was sure. so why hadn’t he noticed until it was too late? the thing is, proving himself as a capable hero had always been his priority. more than you, unfortunately. and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

you had looked happy though, he realized, the scene from earlier replaying in his mind. like a scratched dvd disc that couldn’t move past a certain point. his mind wouldn’t let him forget, despite his heart begging with every painful clench.

it was for the best. his friends had uttered the words to him in their own ways. deku had been beating around the bush for weeks before gently suggesting that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be - maybe this was better. kirishima and even mina hadn’t been quite as gentle. kaminari hadn’t tried to sugarcoat it at all.

you deserved better than him. you were happy. he hadn’t been able to give you what you wanted - needed - and now someone else had filled the spot in your heart where he used to be. you deserved the word times two and if he wasn’t able to give you that, he refused to hold you back.

“i hope he treats you better than i ever could,” he whispered into the black night, his hand coming up to wipe away a tear that had managed to escape.

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me4ml · 3 years

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Why don't you like Maribat? Why do you think it's a spite or salt ship?

This is presumably because of my Adrigaminette post or the whole Maribat being on the ship list thing.

Quick disclaimer: if you read/ship/write/like Maribat, cool! This is not an attack. This is me answering why I, personally, do not like it. It’s tagged anti, and salt, so it should be filtered. Please don’t harass me over it.

Another note before we start: a lot of what I’m about to write is based on what I’ve read, fic wise or meta, and I blocked off the Maribat tag and fandom a long time ago. It may have changed over there-I doubt it, and I have zero desire to go and look-but this is based on what I’ve seen and read about.

There are, principally, three reasons I can’t stand Maribat, why I think it’s a spite/salt ship.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written in Maribat.

3). Maribat is a mutated salt fic.

If you want to see my reasons why, the rest is under the read more.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

Damian’s not just my least favorite Robin, ranking behind any of the others who have born the name. He’s my least favorite Batfam sidekick overall.

Part of this is his introduction, where he’s a violent, murderous, arrogant, entitled, snotty little brat of a thug. Lest we forget, one of his first acts is to go out, kill a guy, cut off his head, stuff a grenade into the decapitated head’s mouth, and try to blow up Tim. This is his introduction! There are a number of other occasions, including how he treats Jon, his best friend, and the rest of his siblings.

Another part is that he believes that he deserves to be Robin simply because he’s Bruce’s son, and therefore has the blood right to be Robin, to become Batman, and damn anyone else, who are all pretenders. Doesn’t matter that those characters might have a right to become Robin, or the future Batman, he’s the bio son, he deserves it!

Additionally, Damian feels.....not unnecessary, but repetitive, in his actions/characterization. There are other characters who can perform pretty much the same way for whatever storyline is necessary, without including Damian.

Trained by an abusive family to be the best, as an assassin and warrior? Cassandra.

A killer who breaks the main rule of his mentor, which causes tension and strain in the family? Jason.

Incredibly intelligent and talented? Tim.

Damian isn’t unique in what he does, and while that can make him an interesting character, it can also make the focus on him unnecessary.

As well, so much of Damian’s actions and motivations feels like he gets away with stuff, in-universe, because he’s Bruce’s biological son, and so Bruce gives him too much slack, and out-universe, because the writers let him/the fans will defend him. He gets woobified, or leather pantsed. Which leads to:

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written for Maribat.

For all his (numerous) faults, when written well, Damian can be an interesting character. For example: How does he deal with being deeply insecure? By putting on a mask of arrogance and overconfidence.

Some more examples: How does Damian act like an actual child, when he’s never had a childhood? How can he be a hero, if he’s been trained to be a killer? Can he ever catch up to his siblings, or will he feel like they’re always better than him?

Damian’s sense of being Batman’s son, of being the heir to the Cowl, slams right up against the idea of the Batfam: that there are people who have just as much of a right to call Batman their father/father figure, people who are just as talented and skilled and capable as Damian himself is, if not more. Watching Damian develop, when he’s written right, is actually enjoyable; mainly because when it’s done right, it shows Damian actually progressing and growing, becoming more of a person, with friends and interests. Most times, seeing Damian with his pets can be adorable, same with when he hangs out with Jon.

Is he still a brat? Still sometimes a bit too much of a Demon, an al-Ghul? Yes, but that’s always going to be part of him, and as long as he’s shown to try and grow, or gets called out on that, it’s less of an issue (There’s a completely different rant to be written about how DC likes to chuck character development or backstory into the trash when it suits them for a new run. Damian gets hit with this, as does Tim, or they get handed the idiot/conflict ball, but not the space for it).

Maribat hurls this all out the window. Damian’s bad traits are all “fixed” offscreen-he’s developed, matured, gotten better, whatever you want to call it. It’s basically a writer’s hand wave to make Damian into the character who will be the lead of the story, perfectly suited for his main role of being Marinette’s boyfriend and utterly devoted to her every whim and will. He’s enchanted by her at first glimpse, and defends her against everyone who hates her, because no one can understand her like he can!

Uh, what? This is not Damian Wayne. Even at his best, he’s no broody boy, pulled from his “dark path” by the love of a gentle girl. He’s a Jerk with a Heart of Gold-emphasis on the Jerk. There’s a reason his nickname usually involves “Demon.” Is Damian trying to get better? Yes. But even then, he’s not the type to immediately fall in love. He takes a while to warm up to people, for them to earn his trust, and Marinette would not be like that?

Let’s say that Robin is in Paris for a case, he runs into Ladybug and Chat, and after they explains what’s going on, Robin gives them a stare over his mask, and goes “TT! What a worthless hero, I would have caught him already.” LB and Chat would probably want to deck him, and that’s before he keeps talking.

Same with if Damian transfers to the class, or they meet on a field trip to Gotham. Damian’s not gonna care about some random French teenagers on a tour, or if he was transferred he’s gonna be trying to figure out why his father sent him to Paris, and be focused on the mission, not making friends.

Of all of the Robins, the ones that would be the most likely to capture Marinette’s interest would be Dick or Tim, not Damian. He would remind her too much of Chloe, as Damian, and as Robin, he would be dismissive of Ladybug’s abilities, which would absolutely piss her, and Chat Noir, off.

In characters that aren’t Damian, no one seems to be written properly over in Maribatland. One huge example is that Marinette is so beloved, so pure, that she can make any character fall in love with her, and reform by her pure goodness, including a fic where the Joker-THE JOKER!-becomes her “Uncle J,” and pranks Lila on her behalf.

Uh-huh. Sure. Completely and totally something that one of the biggest, most sadistic twisted, notorious villains in pop culture would do. Maribat winds up worshipping the ground that Marinette walks on, cause she’s “Teh best evar!”

Which then leads to my third and final point:

3). The whole Maribat concept is a mutated salt fic.

Most of the themes you’ll find in Maribat? You will find in nearly every salt fic.

Maybe my biggest issue with the whole Maribat idea is that it doesn’t feel like a proper crossover, which, at their best, explore how characters from one universe and their rules would interact with characters from another universe, and the rules of that one. Putting ML and DC together is a rich opportunity to play with concepts in both worlds!

And yet, it’s mainly used to bash ML characters who the writers despise, predominantly Adrien, Alya, and Lila, with members of the class thrown in depending on feeling, and potentially even Marinette’s parents! The only “good” ML characters are the ones who are on Marinette’s side, usually Luka, Kagami, a Chloe who for some reason has been redeemed and is now Marinette’s best friend, and whatever members of the class the writer decides to throw in there.

You’ll notice it’s not called “MiracuBat”, or LadyBat and Bat Noir-it’s MariBat. It’s meant as a focus on Marinette, making her-the hero of the Miraculous Ladybug franchise, someone in-story in story who is incredibly smart and talented and the leader of her team, future Guardian-even more awesome.....by beating down everyone else around her.

Marinette is simultaneously treated as an beaten-up, beaten-down walked-on carpet, and the best person to ever exist ever, go who only needs a group of new, different, better people to recognize that and save her from the clutches of those greedy and ungrateful assholes! That doesn’t include the fics where she’s the unknown child of a superhero or supervillain, making her even more special.

It’s Chameleon salt, class salt, with pointy ears and a cape on.

Some specific examples.

Adrien: Adrien is a spineless doormat who prioritizes Lila over Marinette, or an entitled bastard sexual harasser, only fixated on Ladybug, or even both. Sometimes it’ll get worse, as Adrien will threaten or abandon Marinette if she steps off of his “high road,” and Chat will be a budding rapist, stalking or capturing Marinette after he’s learned she’s Ladybug, while ignoring her prior to that. He will, of course, have his ring stripped and handed off to Damian, who is the “true” soul of Destruction and so therefore a “perfect match” to Marinette’s Creation soul. Occasionally it will be Jason, or Tim, or Dick, but the key thing is that it’s not Adrien!

While Damian’s issues are magically fixed, Adrien gets no such courtesy. Adrien has been abused, just like Damian, and while Damian’s abuse is more extensive and extreme, abuse is abuse. If anything, if Damian met Adrien, he would probably see another abused kid, and want to be his friend/have his “adopt stray person!” Instincts go off. I can much more imagine Damian dragging a bewildered Adrien into the Batcave and yelling “Father I’ve found another one for you to adopt!” than I can Damian immediately hating Adrien, or Chat, simply for breathing.

We never see Clark taking Adrien under his wing, or Bruce, or any of the other Batfam; nor any of the other Justice Leaguers. We never see Selina try to fight Bruce over the kid, because he’s cat-themed, and Selina can train him, this one’s hers Bat, get off!

Adrien’s never treated as a kid, or given actual development. A major complaint among salters is that Adrien is treated as perfect and never develops, and in fic, rather than developing him, Adrien either remains static, with his flaws narratively exploded, or is developed negatively. He’s there to be beaten up on and punished by the writers, if not actually physically beaten up by characters in the fic.

Alya: the not-so-good friend, the cheap excuse for a journalist, the awful person who abandons Marinette for Lila and her “connections.” Never mind that Alya was Marinette’s friend from the beginning, or that Marinette’s chosen her multiple times for a Miraculous. One instance of questioning Marinette about Lila, and Alya’s a backstabbing bitch.

Maribat treats Alya as neglectful, bossy, domineering and submissive at the same time to Marinette and Lila respectively, and as a journalist, the worst of the worst. She’s played as a two-bit paparazzo, and once again, the DCU is used to punish her. We don’t see Alya get mentored by Lois or Clark-indeed, if they notice her, it’s with disdain or disappointment. Often, they’re crushing her under their heel, calling her not only a bad journalist, but a bad friend/person. This forgetting, of course, that Alya runs her blog as a hobby so far, she’s only a teenager, and that she’s had Marinette’s back against Chloe and Lila.

The Class: the dupes or allies as needed. Class salt levels depend on what the writer needs. If they’re pro-class, they’re all on Marinette’s side, aside from Alya Adrien and Lila. Chloe, for some ungodly reason, is “redeemed” nigh instantaneously, and often will become Marinette’s best friend, if that isn’t Kagami already. Kagami will drop Adrien like a wet tissue, never trying to reconcile him with the clas, or encourage him to stand up for himself, or if she does, Adrien, of course, will not listen.

If the writer is anti-class, whoo boy. Openly mentally, emotionally, physically abusive to Marinette, the worst gang of people you would ever have the displeasure of meeting, they all need to be in Arkham.

We never see any of the class make friends with the Batfam, the Titans, Young Justice-unless they’re on Marinette’s side, of course. There’s no Alix stopping Selina at the Louvre, for instance, or Max hanging out with Babs. It’s all based on how Marinette is treated as to whether or not the class is portrayed as being worse than the worst of the Rogues Gallery.

Wrapping it all up, Maribat has made me dislike the entire concept of a DC/ML crossover.

Even if someone had written an non-salt, in-character crossover, I don’t know if I would read it, simply because the well has been that poisoned.

#anti maribat #anti maridami #anti daminette #maribat salt #daminette salt #maridami salt #anti damian wayne #Damian Wayne salt #ml fandom salt #anonymous #ask answered #long post

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knickynoo · 3 years

Note

I loved your recent post about Marty and his ADHD! It was soo spot on. And, I saw in the tags that you mentioned Alex Keaton and how you believe he’s not neurotypical either. Care to elaborate? Do you have any headcanons about neurodivergent™ Alex? I’d love to hear your thoughts! :)

Oh, hey, thank you! Marty having ADHD seems to be one of the most common headcanons in the fandom, so that post was a lot of fun to work on.

As far as Alex goes...yes, I will elaborate, BUT I'm putting it under a cut because ya girl is really going to E L A B O R A T E.

I've mentioned before that I think Alex's overall personality/demeanor comes from a variety of different places. Some parts of who he is are likely caused by all the pressure put on him to be a high achiever, due to being so academically gifted from a young age. Other parts are due to being overly coddled and spoiled by Elyse and Steven. Still, there's probably a part of Alex that genuinely enjoys being difficult and getting a rise out of people. Then, there's the obvious anxiety he struggles with, which even MJF has talked about in some interviews when discussing how he approached playing a guy like Alex.

"Giftedness" & anxiety are already included under the umbrella of neurodiversity but in Alex's case, I actually think there's even more to it than that. Yeah, Alex is a funny character whose actions/words are so often played for laughs. He can also be a really irksome character when he's dishing out the sarcasm and being selfish. But I also can't help but look at Alex and think, This guy is just so not NT and he is struggling, somebody Help Him. And since Alex P. Keaton is one of my favorite characters AND I love to analyze/ do deep dives AND the topic of neurodiversity is a particularly strong interest of mine... well, here you go....

Mans is autistic.

• Difficulty with social cues and "reading the room". Seriously, there are so many instances of everyone around him all being on the same page about something or dealing with something serious, and Alex walks in and just proceeds to miss every single cue people throw his way. Two scenes that pop into my head, in particular, are the Reflective Pajamas one and the Clam Puff one, lol.

• He frequently struggles with putting himself in other people's shoes: Alex is certainly shown to be a compassionate person. He can recognize when people are hurting and will do the right thing, but sometimes he needs some help to get there. It seems that a lot of the time, all he knows is how he feels or thinks about something, and it doesn't occur to him that another person could be experiencing it differently. Then, once Steven, Elyse, Ellen, etc, break the situation down for him and explicitly say things like, Hey, that person's feelings are hurt because... or Here is the exact reason this person is angry... Alex is finally able to connect the dots, which usually leads to him being like, I hadn't ever thought about that/ I didn't mean it. (Of course, there are also times where Alex is just purposely being a jerk, but I'm not focusing on those)

• Specific, intense interests: Politics & economics, obviously. It's made well-known that Alex has been completely fixated on these two areas since he was a toddler. He's prone to enthusiastic, overly detailed discourse on the topics and either doesn't care or can't pick up on when people are growing bored at listening to him.

• Also, can we talk about how it's established that Alex's favorite toy as a little kid was a box? Like, he carried it everywhere, played with it, slept with it, and was devastated when it fell apart. Idk, I know kids can be attached to random objects, but it's just interesting that Alex is noted as having been enamored with a box. I'm just picturing little Alex, ignoring all the toys he has in favor of just sitting and staring at a box, and his parents are like, Yeah, this is normal.

• Highly intelligent, bordering on genius/prodigy (He was doing long-division at like, 3 years old) but has difficulty connecting with peers & making friends: This is most prominently shown in "A, My Name is Alex," where we see glimpses of various events in his childhood. In the scene where Alex meets Greg, we learn that Alex spends recess inside, helping the teacher plan her lessons rather than going out to socialize with his classmates. He's bewildered at Greg's invitation to come play, meaning he likely spent the majority of his childhood on his own due to being considered an outcast by his peers and just generally relating more easily to adults. (He also mentions taking night classes at a local college at age SEVEN. So like. If the long-division story and night class thing are taken to be actual facts of Alex's childhood...we're looking at something similar to hyperlexia/hypernumeracy here. This kid must have been bored out his mind having to sit through elementary school if he was that advanced)

• Very literal at times/ misses sarcasm: Interestingly enough, APK is very fond of being sarcastic but doesn't do so well when he's on the receiving end of it. Someone will make a joke or spin the sarcasm towards him for once, and he'll either just stare blankly like ???? or smile/thank them and they're like, Yeah, that wasn't a compliment, or, I was kidding.

• Black and white/ inflexible thinking: This might be the biggest one. Alex is super concerned with rules and ensuring that everyone is following them correctly. There's right and there's wrong, with no gray areas or middle ground as far as he's concerned. My favorite instance of this is in the episode where the family goes to visit Steven's mother and Rob, Alex's uncle, is telling a story of how Steven got in trouble as a kid for refusing to put his name in the upper right corner of his test papers. Everyone around the table laughs...except for Alex, who is deeply troubled by the information.

Just...Steven's delivery. The way he pauses and stares at Alex before replying with a ridiculous punishment that obviously didn't happen, but Alex shows no signs of being aware of or amused at the joke and is just glad his father faced the consequences of his actions. It's great, and a prime example of Alex's preoccupation with "the rules."

Another good example (& one that crosses into the empathy category as well) is "Big Brother is Watching", where Alex exposes a cheating scandal at school (that involves Mallory) and then can't wrap his mind around why everyone is angry at him when he gets the students who were involved suspended. He spends half the episode saying things like, But cheating is wrong. It's wrong and I told the truth about it. I did what's right. You (Steven) told me to always tell the truth, which I did. WHY PEOPLE ANGRY???

And so Steven has to basically spell it out and be like, You got those students suspended, Alex. They are upset with you because of this. They were exposed publically, which embarrassed them, and people tend to not like being embarrassed.

And Alex is like, Oh.

• Repetitive behavior/movements: Most often seen when Alex is distressed or scared, his mannerisms definitely stand out in many scenes. He paces, taps his foot/bounces his leg, rubs his hands together or over his lap, rocks back and forth, and avoids eye contact. I made a post about this a short while back because it really is interesting (and a testament to how well the character was played). There are moments where Alex is completely confident and "calm", and you can see that reflected in the way he carries himself. But whenever he's upset or anxious, you'll start to notice a variety of the things listed above.

So. Yeah. All these things considered...I headcanon Alex as possibly being autistic?? Which is not a take I've ever seen anyone else mention (and I seriously doubt anyone working on the show had this angle in mind at all) but watching through the series, my radar just goes off when it comes to APK.

I have no idea how this will be received. (If anyone even reads it because wow, this got away from me).

Thanks for the ask. As you may be able to tell, I enjoyed being able to spew out my thoughts.

#family ties #alex p keaton #apk #asks #do you see why it takes me so long to answer asks sometimes?#I'm out here writing an essay #I guess it's good that so few people I actually know watch/are fans of FT #because they would not have the option to keep scrolling and ignore me in situations like this #BUT! I was recently watching FT with someone who is new to the show #and I had said nothing about anything relating to this post or my thoughts here #after enough eps that they were able to get the full picture of Alex #they said ''You know...Alex could be autistic''#and I was like !!!!!!!! YOU SEE IT TOO

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