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thebawdybaldurian · 1 month

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Total Eclipse: Another Halsin Hunt Drabble

I just wanted to thank everyone for the tips, comments, likes, and reblogs on my Halsin Hunt drabbles. It encourages me to write more when I can find the time! It wasn’t ever something I delved into before playing Baldur’s Gate 3, but my Tav and I fell hard for our favorite bear elf. It has been very fun expanding my writing into things I didn’t know I was interested in. This drabble is my first to ever get into beast/monster fucking territory and will probably be the limit to how explicit I get with any future ones. I hope you enjoy!

Content and Warnings: involuntary transformation, loss of speech and normal thinking, predator/prey kink, use of spells for control of a wild creature, use of restraints, arousal as a were-creature, humanoid sex (oral, PIV) with a were-creature, curse/disease transfer, were x were sex, memory loss.

The eclipse had been the talk of the city for nearly a tenday, with astronomers reassuring the public that everything was normal and as predicated to be. Meanwhile, rabble rousers and con-men had been selling stories and snake-oil cures for all the ills that were supposedly about to occur once the moon, Selune, blocked out the sun from High Sun to Waterclock. Most level-headed people knew better than to be fearful of the natural phenomenon, but Halsin still found himself anxious the day of the eclipse.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d witnessed one. He was in touch with the natural world enough to know that he would notice one occurring, so the only other explanation was isolated memory loss. He wasn’t yet considered middle aged by elven standards, so that seemed just as unusual. Tav had noticed his anxiousness, asking if he wanted to go for a walk in the park to take his mind off things. She’d promised him a quiet picnic and put on a very sultry sun dress to entice him out of the house, which he finally accepted. Tav put together a small basket and they strolled arm in arm towards the park. “It should be starting anytime now,” Tav noted as the bells of the High Sun hour rang through the city.

The park was fairly crowded for this time of day, many people taking off work to observe the phenomenon with torches and lanterns ready to light. Tav and Halsin took one of the less crowded, wooded paths, keeping an eye out for a nice spot to have their picnic. As the tiniest sliver of Selune peeked beyond the edge of the sun, Halsin felt a terrible pang in his side, doubling him over. “What is it? Are you alright?” Tav stopped at his side, setting down their picnic basket to touch his back in comfort.

“I don’t…know…” Halsin groaned, fighting against the pain, his mind suddenly becoming less clear. His feet began to ache, feeling like he’d been wearing boots two sizes too small. He watched as the leather swelled and then burst open, exposing his feet that had become unusually large and much hairier. “No…it can’t be,” he grunted, feeling the pressure beginning to grow in his leather pants as well.

“What is it?” Tav asked, not yet noticing his feet.

“My heart,” Halsin struggled to speak, finding it difficult to even form the words in his mind. “I need you to run…get as…far away…as you can…please…”

“What’s happening?” She asked, grabbing his face to look directly at him.

“Please,” Halsin begged, gripping a hand tightly against the shoulder of her sun dress. He tore it between his fingers, his eyes widening and changing color. “Go…now!” He growled.

She could see that this wasn’t just an involuntary wildshaping, but something more. She slowly backed away, turning to run in a full sprint when she heard a blood-curdling growl escape his lips. She ran along the path for a while, shouting at anyone in front of her to get away and hide. She eventually ducked into the scrubby woods the park had been built around, stumbling over the detritus to get further away. Her heart was pounding and she didn’t notice the low lying branch until she smacked her head into it, not quite rendering her unconscious, but putting her straight on her ass in a daze.

Halsin had completed his transformation, his leather pants split clean off his body and his long robes torn and bulging around his thick, hairy frame. He barely knew who he was and could no longer speak, grunting and growling as he looked himself over. The uniqueness of his particular werebear affliction meant he would only fully transform during eclipses and not full moons. He could recall this happening before, but even those memories were scattered. He sniffed the air loudly, his snout able to take in all the scents around him. He smashed open the picnic basket at his feet, devouring the contents in seconds, yet felt no satisfaction at all. It wasn’t the food that he desired, but the one who had made it. “Clataedre,” his voice came out as only a growl. His mate, his beloved, his heart. He’d never had a mate when all the other transformations had occurred and he knew he wanted nothing else but her.

He could smell her scent in the air, mixed among the other humanoids that had been on the path. He began stalking towards it, chuffing the air loudly to keep her smell perpetually in his nose. Those on the path beyond that had ignored Tav’s warnings received snarls and growls from the were-creature, scattering them into the woods. He followed her trail when it diverged into the woods, finding a torn piece of her dress on a branch. He pressed it to his nose, huffing it loudly and filling him with even more lust. He could feel his cock stirring in its sheath, needing to bury it inside her. He scratched madly at a tree, trying to temper his desires and continued on towards her scent.

Tav heard the distant screams of others on the path as Halsin encountered them and finally got to her feet. She was still dazed and a little dizzy, a small knot forming on her forehead. She stumbled forward, hearing the loud footfalls of Halsin approaching her. When she turned to look at him, she expected something similar to the partial shifted form she’d experienced before: sharp teeth, long nails, and a little more hair. She gasped when she saw he had completely transformed into a bear-like humanoid, nearly unrecognizable aside from his torn robes. She froze in fear as he stalked towards her, slaver covering his maw, his eyes focused solely on her. She did the only thing she could think of, holding up her hands and casting a Hold Person spell on him. It had no effect and he continued to stalk towards her, growling lowly.

“Shit!” She swore, trying to think. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she was afraid of the hungry look in his eyes. She tried again, casting Hold Monster on him instead, stopping him in his tracks. He was frozen in place, his wide chest still bellowing as she cautiously approached him. “Halsin…my love…is…that you?” She tried to search for any signs of her lover aside from his clothes.

He growled lowly in response, unable to answer any other way. “Are you able to talk? Do you know who I am?”

He chuffed loudly, unable to nod. “Oh, my bear…how did this happen?” She asked, hesitating for a moment, but reaching beyond the barrier of the spell to touch his well-furred face. His chest heaved excitedly as the spell began to slowly wane. “I can’t hold this spell for long…” she pulled her hand back. “Am I safe to be around you like this?”

He made a low grunt, but she could still see the intense hunger in his eyes. She knew he would never forgive himself if he hurt her in this form, even if it was beyond his control. “I’m sorry I have to do this,” she held up her hands again, preparing to cast another spell. “But it is to keep both of us safe.”

Halsin felt the insatiable lust for her shifting into total obedience to her as she cast a Dominate Monster spell on him. He had control of his body again, but he stood still, awaiting her command. “Sit against that tree,” she finally instructed, pointing towards a thick oak nearby.

He obeyed, settling down against it and looking up at her, awaiting her next command. “This only lasts for an hour and I might not be able to conjure another one,” she looked around for something to bind him with.

He watched as she began pulling a thick, sturdy vine off a tree, the sweat from her exertion filling his nose. His cock swelled in its sheath, his desire for her growing even more as she began to tie him to the tree. She had to straddle him to get the vines secured around his wrists, his cock slowly emerging and tenting against his tattered robes. She noticed it when she’d finished the bindings, looking down at it with a deep blush. “Halsin!” She gasped, climbing to her feet. He whined apologetically, turning his wild eyes away from her.

Her curiosity was too much and she used a small branch to move his robes aside. He was even bigger than in his humanoid form, nearly the size of her forearm, slick and red from excitement. She clutched a hand to her mouth, feeling the slightest tingle of arousal between her legs. She could see bits of her lover in the were-beast before her, the lustful hunger in his eyes still tempered with love. He hadn’t fought any of her spells either, willing to accept whatever she needed to do to feel safe around him. She sunk down against him again, straddling him just behind his enormous erection. She touched his face again, gently caressing his soft, thick fur. “It’s still you inside there…isn’t it?” She looked into his eyes.

He whined softly again, nuzzling against her arm and giving her a gentle lick. She pressed her head against his, closing her eyes and considering all the thoughts racing in her head. She finally let out a long sigh and looked at him again, finding the woods had darkened significantly as the eclipse continued on towards totality. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this,” she blushed deeply and glanced down at his enormous cock. “Do you…think it would help…calm you down…if I…?” She cast a Grease spell into her palm and gently touched his pulsing excitement. He heaved against her, straining his vine restraints with an excited growl. “Easy now,” she whispered, slowly stroking him, her hand unable to wrap completely around him.

He panted lowly, closing his eyes and letting the sensations of her hands overtake and calm his intense lust. He heard her begin to whimper softly, opening his eyes to find her stimulating herself with one of her hands. She blushed shyly when he caught her, her slick hand reaching up to pull the other shoulder of her dress down. He craned his thick neck to pull her dress down with his teeth, exposing her breasts. She giggled softly as his tongue slipped across her nipples, making them as stiff as he was. “I figured we’d get up to something,” she cooed softly, stopping her stroking for a moment to pull her dress completely over her head. “Just not like this.”

She’d skipped the panties, her slick, pink cunt now fully exposed to him. His body vibrated with excitement, straining against his bindings again. “Can you contain yourself?” She asked, rising up to her feet again, her delta teasing close to his drooling mouth. He nodded his head, nuzzling his wet nose against her and taking a gentle lick of her arousal. She let out a confused moan, the sensation completely different from anything she’d ever experienced before, but with some sense of familiarity. Her humanoid Halsin’s tongue was there almost everyday, always eager for a taste of her. His were-tongue felt different, but moved in much the same manner, knowing exactly how she liked to be eaten out. “Oh…” she steadied herself against the tree, her knees weakening from his vigorous laps. His excited breaths vibrated against her, making her climax within minutes. “Fuck!” She cried out, gripping a handful of his thick fur.

It was strange to look down at Halsin’s happy face, so completely different than his normal form, but felt just as much love for this one. She sunk back down against him, giggling and nuzzling his face against hers. “I love you,” she sighed, looking into the same gentle eyes of her beloved. “Even if you can’t tell me it back in this form.” He made a low noise in his throat, his only way to indicate he felt the same. “At least this kind of explains never remembering any eclipses,” she leaned against his wide chest, her hands slowly returning to his excited cock. “So you won’t remember any of this?”

He shrugged his shoulders, unsure either way. “Hmmmm,” she bit her lip, glancing down at his engorged cock. “I guess we should try it all…just case.”

She rose up again, into a squat, hovering over his cock as his breath quickened again. “I won’t be able to take it all…but I’ll take all that I can,” she smiled lovingly at him. She let out a soft cry as his thick head pushed past her entrance, splitting her widely. “Fuck!” She squeaked, her legs trembling as each slick inch creeped inside her. She had only gotten halfway down before she had to stop. “You’re so…hard,” she squirmed, feeling some extra rigidity as she slowly began to ride his shaft. She’d once curiously looked up bear anatomy in a book and discovered they had an extra floating bone in their penises. She could only guess this was what she was feeling.

Halsin growled and panted with her, breaking free of his restraints and used his enormous hands to help alleviate some of the strain on her knees. She rode him a little faster, tipping her head back as his baculum pressed against her g-spot. Normally her loud moans became high pitched as she edged closer to climax, but they began to go deeper this time. She closed her eyes, feeling an intense pleasure that began to cloud her mind. She nearly forgot who she was, feeling as if her body was completely changing. “Clataedre…my love, you feel so amazing!” She heard Halsin cry, though they weren’t words she heard in her ears, but growls she could understand.

She opened her eyes, seeing that the hand she was gripping tightly into his chest fur was now larger and covered in its own golden fur. As she cried out for him, slowing her hips, only a growl emerged from her throat. His eyes opened widely as he took in the beautiful were-bear now slowly riding him. “My love!” He growled loudly, holding her hips tightly against him, now able to take his entire length easily. “The curse…it has…passed to you. I’m so sorry…I had no idea it could be spread like this.”

She looked down at her strange new body, her soft caramel fur a contrast to his dark brown. She reached up to her face, finding it elongated and well-furred. “How?” She continued to explore her new form, circling her thick fingers around her ears.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I have no idea how I was initially infected or why I can never remember anything…perhaps it was the she-bear that gave with me my scar?”

“So…this is going to happen…every eclipse now? And neither of us will have any idea?” She stroked her hands down her voluptuous, hairy frame.

“I believe so,” he nodded, looking down at the ground with deep regret. She reached for his face and made him look at her again, her unusual purple eyes looking deeply into his.

“At least I have you…to share this secret with,” she nuzzled against him, her tongue gently licking his nose.

She began to move hips slowly again, tearing the rest of his robes off him. He growled loudly in response, rolling her onto her back and pressing hard against her. She growled back, playfully biting his neck as he thrust hard into her. He no longer had to hold anything back, pounding her with primal fury that she happily accepted or gave back when she moved on top of him.

They fucked and wrestled along the forest floor as the eclipse reached complete totality and their boisterous growls echoed across the entire park. Their bodies were so different, but they still remembered every special place the other favored. They were careful with their teeth and claws, though Halsin left an overly exuberant scar across the small of her back while taking her from behind. They cycled through a myriad of positions, their strong muscles allowing them total freedom. If anyone had dared to inquire about the panting growls and whimpers of the woods, they would’ve observed quite the scene.

They fell against one another in a final, boisterous fury of musky fur, their bodies going still after a series of loud roars that caused several eclipse watchers to exit the park. They cleaned and nibbled each other’s fur, settling against the detritus of the forest floor in a quiet doze. They awoke when the sky brightened again, the eclipse concluded. Their elven forms had returned and their naked bodies lay tangled together. “Ughhh, how did we get here?” Tav looked around, confused at her lack of memory. They’d gone into the park for a picnic and now they were both nude in the woods, throughly exhausted and sore from exertion.

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Halsin shifted a little, equally confused.

“It must have been one Hells of a climax,” she grinned as they pulled their sticky genitals apart.

“Aren’t they always?” He chuckled, pulling her close again and rubbing her back. He knew her body so well that he instantly recognized the new scar that his thumb passed over. “What’s this?” He asked, looking over her shoulder to peek at it.

“Mmmm, it’s a little sore there,” she hissed, sitting up slowly and feeling the raised, pink scar. “I must’ve scraped it on something.”

“Perhaps something about the eclipse made us a little more untamed,” he smiled, sitting up and brushing leaves out of her wildly messy hair.

“I wish I could remember it then. It must have been downright beastly to make us both forget,” she laughed, smoothing his hair as well. “Any idea where our clothes are?”

“I think I see something over there,” he looked around, seeing something roughly twenty feet away from them. Their forgotten lovemaking and wrestling had taken them that far away.

He helped her to her feet, pulling leaves and other debris off their bodies as they ambled towards their clothes. “Dear Gods!” Tav exclaimed as Halsin picked up his robe that had been torn in half. Her dress was only ripped at the shoulder and had a few tears, but it was still as shocking to find. “We didn’t accidentally drug ourselves with something again, did we?”

“I’m not sure,” Halsin shook his head. “I can’t even remember what you made for our picnic and I have no idea what happened to my pants.”

His robe was beyond saving, leaving him no choice but to wild shape for their walk back home, so he wasn’t completely naked. Tav was able to tie the shoulder of her dress back together, gently scratching Halsin’s ear after he wild shaped into his bear form. “You know,” she bent down slightly to kiss his snout. “I never realized how handsome you still are as a bear…it’s like you’re…more familiar now suddenly…strange,” she shook her head, a hidden memory gnawing at her mind but unable to come to the surface. He nuzzled against her, letting out a happy, low growl as they began the walk home.

#halsin x tav #halsin #halsin smut #Halsin Silverbough #werebear Halsin

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ask-gadzooks · 4 months

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The @asktwilighteclipse Story, Chapter 3

Prince Draco Eclipse led the way down into the dark, cavernous tunnels under the castle of the two sisters. Behind him were his five sergeants, who led a small troop of onyx-and-gold clad soldiers, and behind them were two hippogriffins, looking warily at the cave walls.

A soft bloop sound issued forth from somewhere in Zooks’ robes, causing Zooks to hop and Gad to jump seven feet into the air, sword at the ready.

“Oh, sorry, it’s just the Tumblr messages.” Zooks said as he pulled out a large gem that fit comfortably into the palm of his hand. “Oh… just a second… this one is for Draco? I’ll have to ask him.”

Gad almost stopped Zooks, but the blue hippogriffin was already running forward past the Eclipse knights, saying little “pardons” and “excuse me”s as he went. A few knights looked at him with ill-disguised contempt as he passed, including one red-coated pegasus near the front. Nature noticed his scowl. “What’s eating you?” She asked pointedly.

Phoenix kept his eyes on the blue Hippogriffin as he responded. “Just keeping an eye on potential threats, sergeant.”

Nature gave Phoenix a look.

“Then maybe you oughta keep your eyes trained somewhere useful, sergeant. I don’t see any immediate threats here.” Phoenix’s gaze didn’t waver.

“The way I understand it, He’s responsible for everything that’s happened here; seems like a threat to me.”

“A threat doesn’t actively try to fix itself, Phoenix.” Nature said.

“An asset typically doesn’t cause these sort of problems, either.” Phoenix replied.

Nature scowled.

“Well I suppose I ought to be keeping an eye on you lot, as well.” Nature commented.

“What?” Phoenix said, finally tearing his gaze from the blue hippogriffin.

“Well, I seem to recall that you were quite a lot of trouble for the canterlot guard back in the day; I’m sure that quite a few ponies with broken hooves would agree.”

Phoenix scowled back before resuming his observation of Zooks.

“That’s different,” He said, “It was a long time ago.” Nature scoffed. “Yeah, sure, but how would you have fared if Prince Draco felt about you the same way you’re treating Zooks?”

“What makes you think he didn’t?” Phoenix said. Nature swiped a hoof and hit the back of Phoenix’s head. “Uh-duh! He recruited you into his guard! He promoted you to sergeant! He gave you that fancy-shmancy magic bow! I’d say there’s not any amount of trust he hasn’t put in you over the past few years!”

Phoenix rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head. “Oh, that’s all well and good, but it’s not like Draco pulled me straight from prison to give me all that.”

“No, first he gave you a chance to prove yourself,” Nature countered, “So how about we start by trusting this well-meaning hippogriffin not to murder our prince right in front of our eyes? Like I said, keep your eyes trained somewhere useful, sergeant.”

Phoenix did peel his eyes from Zooks, but after a few seconds he responded with “You know you don’t actually outrank me, right Nat?”

The corners of his mouth were turned up in a smile.

“Oh, I know,” Nat said jovially, “but I also know that you know I could totally take you in a fight if I had to. Do keep that in mind.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Phoenix said with a smile and a short salute.

While that conversation was happening, Zooks finally caught up with Draco and fell into step beside him.

“Excuse me, your majesty, I was just wondering… well, I’ve got an ask from the Tumblrs That’s kinda relevant and I was wondering if you’d be willing to answer it.”

Draco thought a moment. “One or two, maybe. It might be best if I’m not distracted once we get into combat.”

“Understandable. We’ll make this brief, then.” Zooks replied.

“…and I’ll do anything to keep them safe.” Draco muttered as the ask went away. He was already refocusing his efforts to detect any incoming ambush the cultists might have laid for their group.

It wasn’t long afterward that Draco’s vigilance was rewarded with a green flash somewhere just around the cave bend, followed by a bolt of magical energy that bounced off of the cave walls toward the group, leaving scorch-marks as it went.

“Incoming!” Draco shouted to his Knights, simultaneously projecting a forcefeild in front of him. An instant later the shield was reinforced with the magic of every unicorn in the squad, turning it into a blazing white color. When the bolt impacted the forcefeild, Draco and his sergeants were all blinded with a scintillating white flash. When Draco was able to open his eyes again, he saw nothing but gray smoke choking the tunnel behind the forcefeild. Undeterred, Draco didn’t even turn before saying a word to his sergeants.

“Phoenix.” Phoenix, in turn, shouted “Archers!” A small group of unicorns and pegasi emerged from the Knight’s troop with practiced ease, bows drawn. Phoenix joined them, an arrow of fire forming in his bow as he pulled it back, and they all fired an instant before Draco lowered the forcefeild to let them pass.

Draco was about to charge in after the arrows when a pale green flash of magic within the fog cloud heralded another attack. A cluster of arrows, including one made of fire, all came flying back toward Draco, who conjured a sword to deflect most of them and let his armor take care of the rest.

“Night, what are we dealing with?” Draco demanded. Night’s ears twitched erratically, taking in every sound of the battle around them. “One combatant, roughly twenty-meters in, levitating in the center of the cave.” Night replied.

One combatant? Unicorns who could single-hoofedly redirect volleys of arrows at once were few and far between, but apparently the cult had acquired one. Fortunately, the Eclipse Knights were trained for this sort of thing. “Nature, Ice, root them,” Draco commanded, “Phoenix, get rid of this smoke.”

Nature and Ice immediately drew their swords. Ice plunged his, point-first, into the ground, where frost formed and shot forward into the smoke along the ground. Nature swung her sword, which immediately disintegrated into a hundred flower-petals and shot forward into the smoke as well. Meanwhile, Phoenix and a small cluster of pegasi swooped over their heads and started a stiff breeze flowing into the tunnel, sweeping the smoke away. As the smoke was clearing away, the Draco and the Knights could begin to make out the silhouettes of grasping vines reaching out for a winged figure in the middle of the cave. Below them waited a growing circle of ice magic, just waiting for them to fly close enough to get trapped.

Was that… an alicorn? Or was it two? Since when did the cultists have an alicorn on their side?

Draco’s ponderings were cut short when another pale green flash illuminated the mystery alicorn’s head… no… heads. The horns of two distinct unicorn heads were unmistakably simultaneously lit an instant before a wave of fire rushed out from them, engulfing Nat’s tangling roots and vaporizing the ice forming below. Draco was forced to put up another forcefield to take the brunt of the attack before he could get a good look at his attackers. As he was finally able to look, a pair of familiar, yet eerie voices greeted him cordially. “Hello, Grandpa.”

Dun Dun DUUUUUUN! ask by @ask-equestria-cross

#ask gadzooks #gad #zooks #twilight eclipse #draco eclipse #even when I'm drawing something evil #I can't help but feel it turned out adorable #TwilightEclipseStory

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fairycosmos · 11 months

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Ik ED’s come from such a bad place but I have to admit so often it feels like a punishment for wanting so little. Like, at some point it just feels absurd I can eat one meal every 2 days and still not lose weight.. like, surely eventually something has to happen right? Like.. right? Even tempering it like only wanting to lose a pound or two it just ..doesn’t happen. I don’t understand. At this point for me frustration nigh eclipses any original goal and I just want to see SOME change, like, anything. Sorry for being insane in your inbox, idk if anyone else feels this way.

yeah i totally feel this and i think a lot of people do TBH....it might be a little different or more extreme for you as i've never actually been diagnosed with an ED but as someone whose definitely struggled with long-term food issues the absolute frustration of it was one of the main things that mentally burned me out for a long time.....like i rmr being 15 and working out and eating less for days only to get on the scale and not lose anything and just like bursting into tears and almost passing out from how tired i was.....and TBH there's so many nuanced reasons for it like we all have our own unique bodies and metabolisms and genetics and they're usually incompatible without whatever crazy bodily ideal we've pictured in our heads.....and the evilness of ED's/food issues is that the illness really does count on your anger and pain and disappointment to motivate you like. even if you were to lose 1 or 2 pounds you wouldn't feel that sense of satisfaction you're after, at least not for long. your sick brain would just move the goal posts and set another probably more insane target for you to reach and then get mad at yourself and punish yourself when you don't (because we're not built to. like literally.) and so the cycle persists. and the worst part is like when you're in the middle of these episodes you don't care about any of this, the logistics of it, and in fact you're often inspired by how unhealthy you're being because it makes you feel like you're winning in some fucked up way. but really you're just prolonging you're own irritation at yourself, your own mental anguish. it's messed up, and i'm really sorry you're dealing with it. i know it's absolutely exhausting, and i'm sure you already know all this. just wanted to offer some understanding and also some encouragement - that you do deserve to help yourself and take care of yourself, that you're not doing anything wrong by not being what your illness wants you to be. i really hope you have (or are able to build over time) a support network and/or find a compatible professional to help you deal with this and manage it in a low-risk way, even if it it's a long and painful journey to get to that point. thank u for sharing this with me and being vulnerable with me, i know it's not easy to be so frank about something so hard. x

#tw ed #anon

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myromancedramas · 1 year

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My Master Lists

Hi welcome to my little blog :,) Here are my recommendation lists! I try to keep these updated but I'm not always punctual, forgive me. Let me know if you have any questions or trouble with the links!

My main is @softandorsweet <3

currently rewatching: Doom at your service

just finished: Love for Love's Sake

MY TOP 5 FAVORITES (see google doc list for plot descriptions and my full list of recommendations)

Romance Kdramas

DOOM: AT YOUR SERVICE (TW death, terminal illness, parent death, themes of su*cide)

TWENTY-FIVE TWENTY-ONE (TW anti-fatness, mild bullying, themes of depression)

HOMETOWN CHA-CHA-CHA (TW anti-fatness, themes of su*cide, ensemble character death)

YUMI'S CELLS (1 & 2) (TW anti-fatness)

LOVE FOR LOVE’S SAKE (BL) (TW homophobia, su*cidal ideation, shown su*cide, death, blood)

Romance Thrillers Kdramas

VINCENZO (TW multiple characters death, murder, gun violence, homophobia, torture)

W: BETWEEN TWO WORLDS (TW themes of & su*cide, gun violence, parent death, homophobia, sexism, anti-fatness)

HEALER (TW parent death, murder, childhood abuse, kidnapping, themes of su*cide)

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING (TW childhood trauma, parent death, so much anti-fatness, homophobia, sexism, main character death, murder, slipping someone a drug, themes of & shown attempted su*cide, gun violence)

HAPPINESS (TW self h*rm, murder, zombies basically so lots of blood, classism, gun violence)

Thai Romance Dramas

NOT ME (BL) (TW physical altercations, gun violence, arson, kidnapping, commentary on ableism, racism, capitalism and more)

BAD BUDDY (BL) (TW physical altercations, blood, family violence, gun violence, unwanted public outing)

MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (BL) (TW mild manipulation, shove, slap, punch, homophobia, non con photo taking, unwanted public outing)

KINNPORSCHE (BL) (TW gun violence, murder, torture, kidnapping, mafia altercations, physical altercations, under the influence sex scene, dubious consent)

THE ECLIPSE (BL) (TW homophobia, minimal physical altercations, outing someone)

Japanese Romance Dramas

MY LOVE MIX-UP (BL) (TW homophobia)

ALICE IN BORDERLAND (TW shown death, su*cide, extreme violence, sexual assault, severe psychological trauma)

CHERRY MAGIC (BL) (TW age gap)

SEVEN DAYS (BL) (TW cheating)

ONLY JUST MARRIED (TW fake marriage, unrequited love)

Taiwanese Romance Dramas

ABOUT YOUTH (BL) (TW family stress)

WE BEST LOVE (BL) (TW blackmail, dubious consent, manipulation, non con kiss, violence)

MY TOOTH YOUR LOVE (BL) (TW trauma, parent death, physical abuse, family abuse)

HISTORY 3: TRAPPED (BL) (TW gun violence, kidnapping, gun violence, blood)

BE LOVED IN HOUSE: I DO (BL) (TW manipulation)

Chinese Romance Dramas

PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER (TW anti-fatness)

i wanted to include any warnings i noticed while watching these shows, as to reduce any harm to anyone taking my recommendations! these are still my favorite shows and have as many nuanced positives as nuanced negatives!

key: FL = female lead, ML = male lead, TW = trigger warning

message about south korean dramas: i think so many of us are drawn to kdramas for their depth and analysis of different forms of oppression and traumas. however, kdramas are lacking so much in so many ways thus the TWs. i recently found out that studio dragon, the largest production company in south korea is a monopoly company (bought out all smaller independent businesses and now has total control over most production in south korea). studio dragon alone has produced vincenzo, hometown cha cha cha, happiness, twenty-five twenty-one, yumis cells, my roommate is a gumiho, doom at your service, true beauty, start-up, tale of the nine tailed, flower of evil, it’s okay to not be okay, hi bye mama, my holo love, love alarm, hotel del luna, because this is my first life and way way more. plus they just signed with Netflix in the last year or two, and will only be continuing to expand. if you regularly watch kdramas there’s not much we can do, expect support the dramas that have become more inclusive. knowledge is power and having perspectives on why studio dragon is not perfect is more beneficial than living in the dark.

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bryastar · 26 days

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word salad #12

oh shoot I'm back edition!

alrighty so, hi, it's been a bit. so I guess I should explain my absence a bit but I ended up getting a certain respiratory illness which included trouble breathing, headaches, nausea, fatigue, and it was so bad that it took me out for basically an entire week.....

yeah pneumonia isn't fun

anyway......

what have I been up to that hasn't been staying in bed all day while doom scrolling way too far in TikTok...

probably a tiny thing here but I reorganized my ipad icons a bit, keeping all the drawing apps on one screen (plus the battery info for the pencil), socials on the next, and games at the end. seems less overwhelming....and cuz I like the background art ^^; (art by @wavecipher)

solar eclipse! we had to drive out an hour towards the path of totality to be able to see it, but honestly this was one of the coolest experiences I've ever got to witness! pictures don't do it full justice and it's really hard to describe the mood. just being able to witness the moon slowly creeping in front of the sun slowly while experiencing this beautiful mix of daytime and nighttime vibes simultaneously....aaaa! I was really sad before I wasn't able to see much of the 2017 eclipse previously and I wanted to make certain it worked out this year, and just so happened that everything lined up perfectly (teehee) to be able to see this! (top pic taken by amber, the others by me)

butts! I ended up using a combination of pose to pose and straight ahead animation here. I wanted to try and push myself with this and experiment, and I'm discovering a bit that I enjoy doing things like water splooshes. down the line I wanna touch on more things like water ripples or fire animation too.

all of this happened before I got sick and bedridden and I was a bit worried that I would lost the drive to anima--

nope! still got it! I'm pretty happy with how this came out! I asked for a random object and a random action at home and got "apple" and "jumping" and I decided to add the bit at the end with it bonking and bruising itself. I used a mix of drawing individual frames, but also simple subtle transforms when the change was minimal anyway to streamline the work just a bit.

I originally struggled with getting the impact to look right. adding a smoke cloud and simulating a camera shake seemed to help with that (which I struggled originally because I tried to keyframe it in capcut but because it's animated of twos that came off weird and the earthquake effect didn't satisfy me either so I had to just manually move everything in toonsquid...which ended up taking less time overall anyway) I especially like the doubling/smear frame I made right before it hits the ground.

I think improvements I wanna make is planning out the facial expressions more. there is a point where the apple realizes it loses balance but I think it happens way too fast to be properly noticible at full speed. also I did abuse the transform tool juuust a bit much at the end so maybe I'll stick with reserving that for ease in and outs.

youtube

lately I've been in a bit of a Starfox kick. I ended up finding the N64 cartridge at a game shop (only $40 USD which was definitely a bit cheaper than I was expecting for a first party title) and I'm honestly really impressed with how well it looks compared to the NSO version on switch, particularly with transparency effects, colours seem bolder (the gold rings in particular stand out more), and how smooth the game runs overall (with occasional but expected slowdowns in certain areas). also the voice samples seem to sound more accurately to a radio signal. I also wanna see if I can get the 3ds version of SF64 sometime too and compare that.

alrighty so apologies for the extra word salading this time around but there was a lot to catch up on. hopefully I can keep up a bit more as I start to get back towards 100%

🦊🐦🐰🐸

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key-the-kitty · 1 month

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I've been so busy, I haven't been able to play on tumblr for a few days! I'm having withdrawal! 😭

One of the reasons of busy is I went see the eclipse! A friend and I drove to Arkansas, over 6 hours away, to see totality. Drove there Sunday and spent the night. Then Monday, we went to Petit Jean State Park to see the eclipse. Such a beautiful park!

My shitty eclipse photos, I shoulda set up my camera settings before

Then we went hiking to give everyone time to clear out. The hike was beautiful, but a little over our skill level.

Photo on the left is the "path," where we said fuck it and headed back. I really wanted to see Cedar Falls, but we're both out of shape and we were ill prepared.

I was very proud of my outfit, especially my earrings. And that's the same necklace I wore for the 2017 eclipse, one of the many friendship necklaces I have with my bestie (who sadly could not accompany us)

#personal stuff #eclipse #eclipse 2024 #selfie #nature #water #earrings

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darsynia · 1 year

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Trust Fall | Ch 26a

gif found at @just-dreaming-marvel

Story Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: Tony/OC, ‘terrorists made us fall in love;’ IM1 timeline. In this chapter, a very ill Tony fears what Obediah will do to him in this state, and Emory confronts the reality that the scientist she's been fearing isn't who she thought.

Length: 2,680

Taglist: @starryeyes2000 @raith-way @arrthurpendragon @themaradaniels @starksbf @chickensarentcheap @tiny-anne @thorfics @chibijusstuff

Excerpt:

Before Tony can stop him, Obadiah Stane arcs a large arm around Tony’s back, hauling him to his feet.

“Gentle with the merchandise,” Tony mutters. “JARVIS? Beddy Bye protocol, okay? No roses.”

“Protocol implemented.”

There’s no such thing, but JARVIS is smart, and by adding a reference to womanizing, Tony hopes he’s concealing Emory’s importance to him. He sneaks a glance toward his computer as he’s guided toward the stairs, seeing that every screen is black, with no power indicator lights. Once they step onto the landing, the basement lights even shut off completely.

Stane adjusts his grip-- and Tony can totally picture the fall, the push. He’ll end up laying there in the dark while Happy makes things worse in a jail cell, while Pepper and Coulson are attacked by one of Stane’s cronies back in California. Emory’s mission will fail the next day because some idiot will share the news of Tony’s ‘accidental death’ and erase her ability to use her powers.

Chapter Twenty-Six: Solar Eclipse

“Sir?”

Tony comes to with his head pillowed on his arms on the too-low computer desk. His back is bent at an unnatural angle and as soon as he straightens up, his stomach lurches sickeningly.

“Sir, Mr. Stane is requesting entry at the gate. There appears to be a member of the press who is observing and snapping photos whilst speaking on a cellular phone.”

“Open it up; s’the lesser of two evils,” Tony says blearily. He hopes he’s right. “Where’s Happy? Should be here by now,” he adds, checking his empty wrist for a watch before moving the mouse to wake his computer for the time. It’s nearly five PM, which is crazy. He’d decided to take a twenty minute snooze at two. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Frankly, sir, you needed the rest. Everything you set in motion is incomplete, as yet.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tony says. “Fuck, this is terrible. How do chronically ill people deal with this shit? I feel like my stomach is about to turn inside-out.”

“You do have a fever. There’s some medication for that in the--”

“Upstairs bathroom, with the Pepto, yeah. That’s what I need Hogan for. Meds might as well be on the moon.” He feels shitty, and when he feels shitty, he is shitty. Maybe it’s a good thing Emory’s not around for this.

“Mr. Hogan is currently detained by the Transportation Security Agency. He appears to have made some comments that were not taken well, according to the preliminary police report.” There’s a pause, during which Tony tries to decide whether he wants to laugh or cry at this new development, before JARVIS says, “The report states that his companion refused to vouch for whether Mr. Hogan could be dangerous. That companion is currently making his way to the basement by my direction, via the speakers. I will send all further private messaging to your phone, sir.”

A chill goes through Tony that has nothing to do with the fever. JARVIS doesn’t like to split vocal focus because it goes against the idea that he is Tony’s singular ‘robot butler.’ He hardly ever breaks that illusion. As for Happy, he and Stane have never been friendly, so there's a 50/50 chance that Obie saw the detention as a way to spend an afternoon free of Happy’s interference.

It could also be a way to spend an afternoon free of Tony’s bodyguard.

He’s in no condition to argue for Hogan’s release, which means he’s on his own. The possibilities spiral out like fear fractals spinning in all directions, and bile shoots the wrong way up Tony’s throat. He coughs it back down and gets up to greet his possible adversary.

“Your expression is exactly as I pictured it,” the scientist says, her creased face breaking into a pleased smile. Her accent is solidly Eastern European, but fluid, as though she’s long accustomed to speaking English. “As soon as I found out who you were, I couldn’t wait to meet you! Come closer, settle in!”

As Harris wheels Emory closer to the desk, the reason for the dimness around that area becomes more clear. Though the room has a higher ceiling at that end, there are no lights on except the lamps beside the desk. Compounding that, the wall to their left is taken up by a large, darkly dyed stained-glass window that lets little of the morning sunlight through. It’s hard to make out the design, as though some sort of awning has been constructed on the outside of the building to protect it, with a side effect of blocking most of the light. All she can discern are multiple robed men standing over a line of supplicants with their heads bowed.

Emory’s so caught up by the strange window and its looming figures that she’s startled when the wheelchair stops a few inches from the desk. She hurriedly looks up, and the scientist leans over and pins Emory with a smile that’s halfway between Horror Movie Grandmother and Friendly Librarian. The old woman’s soft and pillowy looking bun had looked healthy and slick from the doorway, but up close Emory can see that it’s rigid, practically lacquered in place.

“You were in that cave with Tony Stark, weren’t you?” their bizarre hostess asks slyly.

Their plan hinges on this woman believing that Tony wouldn’t help her. “I haven’t seen him since we escaped,” Emory says sadly, her voice muffled by the oxygen mask. Her powers hover at the back of her mind, waiting for a strong emotion (it’ll be fear, she’s certain) to spark into usefulness.

“It’s just impossible to hear you, child!” Clapping her stick-like hands, the scientist addresses the number of uniformed ‘staff’ lurking nearby. “Leave us. I will speak of Sasha with these two. Alone.”

A tall, muscular man stops to rest a meaty hand on the old woman’s chair. “Babi Iulia, vei fi în--”

“Yes, I’ll be safe, yes! Go away, Draga,” the woman says, sounding both amused and annoyed. Once her staff had all withdrawn, she adds, “Ten years without any family, you build your own,” she shrugs at Emory and Harris. “Too long, and they think they’re owed your safety! Ai!”

“I’m glad you mentioned Stark,” Agent Harris says.

The old woman smiles. “Yes. He is the key to everything.”

“Jesus, Tony, you’re a mess!”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Doctor Phil,” Tony says, his hand still up by his ear. He’d remembered the Sonic Taser thirty seconds ago, and if the custom earplugs hadn’t been in his desk drawer, there would have been no chance of getting them in without suspicion. As it is, he can’t quite get the second one situated; it’s just a hair too large. He’s forced to palm it, cramming the thing into his pocket. With trepidation further roiling his already upset stomach, Tony leans back in his chair and turns to face the business partner he’s grown to mistrust enough to wear protection.

“If I’d known you were this fucked up I’d have made sure Pepper was on the plane! Anything I can do for ya? You know, an hour ago I’d have said pizza was the cure for all ills, but not after seeing how green you look!” Obie leans towards him, and it’s all Tony can do not to recoil.

It’s unseasonably cool in the city today, and Stane hadn’t hurried to see him. So why is he practically drenched in sweat?

“You’re a sight yourself! You get a TSA interrogation of your own?” Tony jokes, leaning back in his chair for effect.

Stane whips out a handkerchief from his pocket, and a small black object flies out, bouncing on the concrete floor. Tony doesn’t get a good look at it before it’s stuffed back in, but Obie looks rattled.

“This from the man who looks like death warmed over? Come on, ya big baby. I’ll help you up into bed. Lord knows your dad has enough of ‘em in this house.”

Before Tony can stop him, Obadiah Stane arcs a large arm around Tony’s back, hauling him to his feet.

“Gentle with the merchandise,” Tony mutters. “JARVIS? Beddy Bye protocol, okay? No roses.”

“Protocol implemented.”

Will the subdural hematoma kill him slowly or will Stane lose patience and help things along?

“Tony, did you hear me? Pick a room before I kick the door down!”

Tony hiccups and reorients himself, almost shocked that his depressed vision isn’t actually a reality. He’s standing in the upstairs hallway, still held upright by his business partner’s sturdy arm. He’d daydreamed his way up two flights of stairs.

In a strained voice, Obie says, “Tone, I like my shoes. If you throw up on ‘em, I’m gonna leave you in a heap in the hallway.”

“Yeah, I bet you would.” Tony staggers forward to the door they’re stopped in front of. “This one.” It’s the one he’s been sleeping in, which is not the Master Bedroom. Did Stane know that?

He swivels slowly to look at Obie. Vomiting on the guy is definitely on the table. Too late, he remembers that the armored suit is downstairs, and there aren’t speakers for JARVIS up here yet. He’s been outmaneuvered.

“You got a bucket somewhere to stick beside the bed?”

“What, for all the blood?” Tony grumbles, stumbling into the room. Stane brushes past him toward the bathroom.

“If there’s blood, you should wait and call a doc later. Do it before the evening news and BOOM! You’ll be lookin’ at substance abuse rumors, just in time for the broadcast,” Stane says, his voice obscured by the sounds of running water. Tony collapses onto the bed with his pants half-removed. He kicks them the rest of the way off and pulls the blanket up, wondering if asking for the bucket would make him look too vulnerable.

A Dixie cup is thrust into his line of sight.

“Is it poisoned?” Tony asks, sincerely, because fuck it. He’d connected Phil Coulson to Pepper hours ago. The data transfer to hack into Stark Industries’ systems went off without a hitch, according to JARVIS. Everything is already in motion, he’s just riding the Consequences Mobile as it cruises along on autopilot.

“Look at you! It wouldn’t need to be. Go to sleep, Tony,” Stane chuckles before downing half the water in an ostentatious gulp. “Your dad used to get paranoid and fatalistic when he had a fever, too. Made designing with him kinda fun, sometimes. I’ll stop by in the morning.”

“For my corpse, right, Mark Callaway?”

“Wrong Undertaker. See ya.” Stane pats the foot of the bed twice with the flat of his hand, then walks out, leaving the bedroom door open behind him. “Get better!” he calls out, jogging down the stairs.

Tony doesn’t relax until he hears the front door close. The bed is ten, maybe twenty times more comfortable than his cot in the cave… but he’s more frightened for his life now than he ever was back then. He lays still in the darkness for many long minutes, trying to settle his breathing until the distinctive sound of Stane’s car revving up and driving off persuades him to attempt some much-needed sleep.

Emory’s mission relies on being a supplicant, so she’s grateful the mask covers her reaction to hearing the woman speaking so confidently about Tony Stark.

It’s not enough.

“Stark has hooks in you!” the woman addressed as Iulia laughs. “Good! You kept him alive, no doubt. Assistants turn the world; I know, I was my husband’s lab assistant many years. You could do that diva’s job for her if you trade bodies, and I could do almost everything my husband Max did, after a few years. Not that anyone would believe me!” She jabs a wizened finger toward Emory. “You know.”

This is not going well, but Emory nods, pulling comfort from the feeling of potential energy that’s started to gather in invisible layers around her.

“She fired you for being kidnapped, I hear! HYDRA, just as bad. Max and I worked on their stolen serum for years, and always they thought it was for them. Ha! What we built, it was for Sasha, our daughter. She was born with problems, many problems. Struggled to walk, but mind as sharp as the both of us.”

The old woman’s eyes glaze over, caught up in memory. Emory looks up at Agent Harris, trying to convey worry without seeming suspicious. Their plan to beg the shady scientist for mercy is falling apart, but they’re a captive audience. Emory needs the serum, no matter what.

“I’m sorry to hear about your daughter,” she says, putting as much compassion in her voice as she can. Privately, Emory suspects that this is manipulation, a way to derail her own sympathy ploy. She’s certainly not going to play oppression olympics with someone who’s trying to ruin her life.

“You aren’t, not yet,” Iulia says. “These HYDRA bosses, they had us in the very heart of a factory. Working, hiding-- and then one day a man showed up to change everything. ‘For the better!’ he told us. Demanded to know why there was no special powers serum for him after so long we had been working! When he did not like our answers he took prototype and injected it into Sasha as punishment. ‘Now you will have to make it perfect! I will be back in three days to see your results,’ he told us.” Iulia’s whole body is rigid, eyes bright with unshed tears.

“What, you didn’t want her to have the serum dependence that you rely on so much for money now?” Agent Harris asks, her words as poisonous as her tone is sweet. Emory wonders if the other woman is picking up on the same ‘something is off’ feeling that’s been growing in the pit of her own stomach. The layers aren’t strong enough to affect the airflow around her yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

“That came later,” the old woman says dismissively, as though the jibe has glanced right off of her. “No, we were working to direct the mutation. Sasha’s was… incompatible with life. It took a time to understand what it had done, and in those three days Max and I created complete second set of research, one that would never, could never work. At dawn on the third day, I left to hide away our life’s work-- but before I returned, the factory was destroyed in huge explosion.” Iulia lifts her chin and pierces Emory with the directness of her gaze. “Sasha’s last act made worldwide headlines. That brought much scrutiny, forced HYDRA to back off and lick their wounds. As for Sasha, at least she had Max with her at--” she breaks off, pressing a shaking fist to her lips.

“I’m so sorry,” Emory whispers, dismay causing her to drop the mask she’s been holding to her face. It’s more important to let this woman see that her expression is genuine, even though she is an adversary. Breaking through the concern is a stronger feeling of wrongness, though. “Was the factory here in Sokovia?” she blurts out. It’s almost like she’s able to think more clearly now without the stale trickle of oxygen from the tank-- and her first thought is that she remembers a factory explosion in Sokovia. Except, the one she recalls wasn’t in the 40’s or 50’s, when the world’s governments were still searching for secret HYDRA cells to stamp out.

It was in 1998, the year she’d met Rory Fall.

Emory grips the arms of her wheelchair, transfixed on the look of sly calculation that has replaced the grief on Iulia’s face.

“Sokovia, yes,” the woman says quietly.

Emory’s energy increases, the circling layers strong enough to flutter at her loose strands of hair. Behind her, Agent Harris shifts positions. In a stiff voice Harris says, “Are you telling us that a new wing of HYDRA was active there in the nineties?”

Iulia reaches down to open one of the drawers at her desk. She pulls out a padded white envelope and some folded pieces of notebook paper that seem to be completely covered in handwriting. “They never left.”

Next chapter, everything goes to hell for them both...

#tony stark x oc #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark x original character #tony stark imagine #iron man fanfiction #iron man #iron man x oc #iron man x original character #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfic #tony stark #series: autonomy #ocfairygodmother #fyeahsuperverseocs #happy birthday rdj!

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shattered-sparks · 1 year

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Infero does not like experiencing feelings, and he especially doesn’t like talking about them. Night’s gonna have to take over from here.

He’s definitely gonna be nicer to Nova after that, though. Somewhat awkwardly.

Night is caged in mentally ill jail cause the jailer is lonely and wants attention. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Night gets to hear Nova purring though so it’s not a total loss

I can see after a few days Nova does come back but he’s still lost on what to really do. Before it finally hits him that he was only getting better because he was actually allowing himself to trust others.

He finally figured it out and asks for advice on how to be good. How to not just go for anyone as his target since that’s not gonna help him.

Supernova developing a connection with Infero has to be one of the most interesting things to come out of his depression though. The one he despised with his entire being being the one who made him snap out of his haze. He’s still on edge since Infero is a eclipse and has used his own weaknesses against him but they’re getting there.

#howls from the abyss #crossover rambles #supernova #Lord's Brother AU

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doomh3ad · 2 years

Note

arghhhhkahfwkks I LOVED IT SM THANK U FOR WRITING MY RQ <3 i was reading so slowly bc i didnt want it to end LMAO 💀💗💗💗 hes just so 🤕💞

as my second request, please can i have general dating headcanons! as detailed or as simple as you want! i promise ill stop requesting after this i dont wanna annoy or pressure you, you're just so amazing at writing i wanna read all of it!! oh yeah also sorry if i accidentally spam your notifs at any point i promise its an accident-

again, no pressure to write if you cant! and take ur time writing it theres no rush <33

oh and if you wanna request anything from me PLEASE DO! consider it payment for your wonderful writing 🙏🙏 even though itll be so fluffy and ooc ill try my best and ill be happy to write any slasher for you!!

- @tuliptyper

THANK U OMG you're not annoying me in the slightest omg feel free to keep requesting, ur inspiring me and i love hearing from u so thank u sm! don't worry about spamming i appreciate it sm <3 i'll definitely be requesting if that's ok bc i love fluff 🥺 sorry this is so short!

doomhead general dating headcanons!

-ok i won't lie i have a whole post coming that expands on this but he's got the most insane pet names and nicknames for you? he's so annoying he's lucky you love him

-you'll sometimes catch him whispering little romantic monologues to you late at night, when he thinks you're asleep or too tired to care. sometimes he's got quotes from your favourite movies, sometimes it's his own thoughts, but it's the sweetest thing in the world and you can't get enough of it.

-he compares you to his favourite characters, trailing a hand down your cheek and praising you. he's pretty touchy, he'll have his hands on you at most times casually because your touch and your presence soothes him. whether you're in his lap, or he's revelling in comparing your hand to his, it's an easy way to calm him down.

-if you wear makeup, he loves helping you apply it. the tenderness of the moment is eclipsed by his seemingly AWFUL eyeshadow skills. just...trust the process. he also sometimes feels like he doesn't do enough for all you give to him, so this little act of helpfulness lessens that fear a little <3

-he's so proud to have you. he'll show you off to everyone, boasting that you're the one he's dating. everyone look at his hot partner! okay, now stop looking or else he'll kill someone. he's so protective, but tries not to show it. he's kill for you, he'd die for you, you're his whole world. to be loved by him is to know all sides, the vicious, suave killer and your loving, if overzealous partner.

-he totally spoils you - i mean, he's gotta spend that 31 money somewhere, so why not on his pretty baby? anything you ask for, anything he sees you eye, it's yours. birthdays or anniversaries (which he meticulously keeps track of) are AMAZING when you're with him, because he knows you're not just material: he picks something special and dear to you, makes the day meaningful.

-he likes to dance with you, whether it's spinning you to some upbeat song playing on the radio in the kitchen in the morning or slowly, holding you in his arms as he looks down at you and thinks about how much he loves you, how devastatingly beautiful you are.

#horror #slasher x reader #doomhead my beloved i love writing for him sm... he's a creep he's a weirdo he's our boyfriend #imelda's writing #slasher #slasher fic #doomhead #doomhead x reader #doomhead 31 #31 #rob zombie #rob zombie movies #rob zombie's 31 #rob zombie 31 #slashers #slasher thirst

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ruminativerabbi · 29 days

Text

Like a Letter Left Unread

The whole eclipse thing earlier this week made a big impression on me, but not (maybe) for the reason you’d think.

It all started when I mentioned to one of my grandchildren that I hope it will be a clear, non-cloudy day when the sun goes into eclipse. This was met with the kind of equanimity only a child can muster up effortlessly: “Me too, Saba. But if it’s so cloudy you can’t see anything, the next eclipse is in just twenty years and we can see it then.” Well, okay, I thought, and just how old will I be on August 23, 2044? You see where we’re going here: I surely do hope to be somewhere in the summer of 2044 looking up through safety sunglasses at a clear, cloudless sky as the moon passes before the sun and hides it totally from view for a few minutes. But suddenly the whole discussion made me feel mortal—not fragile especially, just more aware of where I am actuarially than I generally enjoy being. Of course, it could have been way worse: she could have reminded me that Halley’s comet is due back in the summer of 2061.

How to relate to a total eclipse of the sun is a different matter entirely, however. For most moderns, it’s just a thing—something that happens every so often and creates a dramatic effect for a few minutes, then stops happening. Not good or bad, not something overly to focus on and certainly nothing to fear. But our sages in ancient times were less certain: possessed of the conviction that the Creator at least occasionally speaks through the medium of Creation itself, they sought meaning in all sorts of natural phenomena that moderns tend to wave away. Nor is this solely a rabbinic thing—the biblical story of Noah ends with God’s observation that rainbows are not just natural phenomena that sometimes occur, but signs from God that there will never again be a flood that wipes out humanity as was the case in the days of Noah and his ark. And it’s for just that reason that tradition dictates that we recite a short prayer—just a few words acknowledging the rainbow as a symbol of optimism and hope—when we see a rainbow. How often does this happen? Often enough! Joan and I saw the most beautiful rainbow in Niagara Falls, New York, just last week on our drive to Toronto. And, yes, I said the blessing.

But the rabbis were less sure about eclipses. There’s a semi-famous passage in the Talmud (at Sukkah 29a) that declares that any solar eclipse should be taken as a bad sign for the world, for example. And the text then goes on to flesh that thought out with an elucidatory parable: a solar eclipse, they taught, is God behaving roughly in the manner of an earthly king who prepares a giant banquet for all of his servants, perhaps as a way of thanking them for their loyal service. But then, suddenly, the king becomes aware of some specific way in which his servants have conspired to do him ill. So what does he do? He can’t cancel the banquet entirely—that would be (I’m guessing) bad form—but what he can do is instruct his personal valet to remove the torches that had been illuminating the banquet hall. And that, according to the parable, is what a solar eclipse is like: suddenly aware of some way in which humanity has failed to behave honorably or decorously but not quite prepared to wipe clean the slate as in Noah’s day (and which God had promised never again to do anyway), God simply darkens the sun as a way of expression divine displeasure.

Other sages, however, took a more nuanced view. Rabbi Meir, for example, agreed that both solar and lunar eclipses are bad omens, but solely for the Jewish people not for the entire world. And he too had a parable to back up his lesson. The situation that pertains during an eclipse, he taught, bodes poorly for the Jewish people only because they are m’lummadin b’makkoteihem. That’s not that easy an expression to translate, which even Rabbi Meir apparently thought might be the case. And so he too offered up a parable to make his point a bit clearer. A solar or lunar eclipse, he taught, is like when a teacher comes into the classroom and he is already holding a giant razor strop, the kind that was apparently used in Rabbi Meir’s day to punish school children for their poor behavior. Who gets the most jumpy upon noticing the strop in the teacher’s hand, Rabbi Meir asked rhetorically. And he then answered his own question: the student who is beaten with it the most often gets the most nervous—because that student supposes that the teacher is intending to beat him again. And that is what it means to be m’lummadin b’makkoteihem, as above: Jewish people are so used to suffering and being again and again beaten down, must not it be they specifically who are being prompted to fear the worst when the sun disappears and the world is plunged into darkness? (The words literally mean “well-versed in their own beatings” or something like that.)

Still other rabbis took an even more nuanced approach. Solar eclipses, they opined, are bad news for everybody, whereas eclipses of the moon are meant specifically to augur bad times for the Jewish people. And the rationale behind this approach has its own logic to it: the Gentile nations, who use a solar calendar to count off their years of their lives, are addressed through the solar event, whereas Jews, who maintain a mostly lunar calendar, God admonishes by making the moon disappear briefly from the nighttime sky. And then they go on to discuss solar eclipses, discussing the specific significance of the location of the sun in the sky when the eclipse takes place and assigning specific meaning in terms of the disaster soon to ensue to the hue the sun in eclipse takes on.

And then, as if all this weren’t enough, the Talmud goes on to quote an ancient source that lists the specific sins for which a solar eclipse may reasonably be taken as the divine response. That thought—including the peculiarly modern-sounding horror of people in an urban setting simply ignoring a woman calling out for help in fending off a would-be rapist—founders, though, on the fact that it isn’t correct: people fail to show proper respect for deceased community leaders all the time (another sin on the list) and yet the sun does not go into instant eclipse as a response!

Is there anything to any of this? We moderns understand what eclipses are and why they occur, and we also understand that they are fully naturally phenomena that are not related to, much less triggered by, the behavior of Jewish or non-Jewish terrestrials. As a result, our natural response is to turn away from tradition and make a kind of smug virtue out of feeling grateful that we know better. The Talmud, after all, is filled with ancient ideas about all sorts of things that we moderns, who understand that epilepsy is a disease and not a function of the circumstances under which the epileptic individual was conceived, can only smile at. And, indeed, the Talmud is filled with all sorts of medical observations that no one today considers even remotely to be scientific truths. So it would be more than reasonable just to wave all this away. But I have a different idea I’d like to propose, one a bit less literalist and more fanciful, but also, I think, reasonable.

In a long, fascinating passage towards the end of the talmudic tractate Berakhot, the Talmud offers up a detailed lesson regarding the correct way to interpret dreams. It’s a long passage filled with lots of theories about the meaning of dreams, but the basic principle set forward is that the importance of dreams depends fully on their interpretation. In other words, nothing in a dream means anything at all until the dream is ably interpreted by the kind of oneirocritic trained to offer up that kind of interpretation. So the dream contains solely the meaning we find embedded in it, a principle later to serve as the foundation of Freudian dream analysis. When the Talmud says that a dream left uninterpreted is like a letter left unread, it means precisely that: leaving a dream uninterpreted deprives it of the chance of having any impact on the dreamer at all, just as an unread letter has no potential to affect the person to whom it was addressed at all.

Maybe we should apply that kind of thinking to eclipses. I was in Glen Cove last Monday at 3:18 PM and, looking up at the sky through the special glasses, I saw almost all of the sun disappear behind the moon. As the sky darkened and the temperature fell, I felt the trappings of civilization falling away as I stood there under the sky and watched the sun that defines our lives here in earth darken. I felt small and fully insignificant as the planet on which I was standing and the sun it orbits and the moon that orbits it began their brief cosmic dance. My interpretation of the whole event, therefore, had to do with humility. And with resolve: more than I do usually, I felt the presence of the Earth, alive and not alive at the same time, sturdy yet fragile, immeasurably big yet also cosmically insignificant. And I felt a renewed sense of responsibility for the planet, for its climate and its ozone layer, for its air and its water, for its wellbeing and security. My interpretation of the eclipse, therefore, is that the sun and the moon teamed up to remind us that we are, at best, stewards of this world we inhabit. And that the degree to which we shuck off that feeling of insignificance that the eclipse did its best to instill in us—that will also be the degree to which we have left this rare celestial phenomenon as a letter left unread, as a dream left uninterpreted.

#Solar Eclipse #Talmudic Dream Interpretation

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