fighting w myself bc i’m writing a John Dory is Branch’s dad AU and i just feel like something is missing??? and like, i feel as if that missing part is a partner for our daddy~

and originally right, i was gonna use someone else’s OC, but then i’m like “why do that, just pick someone who exists” and i like pairing Hickory w bitches so i was like “BOOM fixed”

but now, i’m in the story, and this troll keeps wanting to be made??? i think? idk i just want a partner for JD sooner, but if Hickory shows up now it’ll be way too weird since he’s like Floyd’s age, but i want Branch to have two parents rn. grrrrrr

i guess i’ll just make my own troll OC? it won’t be a sona probably. but it’ll have some characteristics of me bc i’m writing it and i impart myself to all my characters whether i originally made them or not. it just happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

weirdly enough the hardest part is figuring out what they would look like.

My depression is eating me alive today. Plus command hallucinations and mean voices. Gotta stick it out at work for money but I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.

designing pastora is so hard pls free me… so many elements i need to balance out w the whole shepherd aesthetic and the overwatch look cassidy how did you do it

I'm overcaffeinated and having trouble focusing

i… need to get out of bed.

it is noon. i have not eaten or showered or changed clothes. eaughhhhh it feel badddd

and i need to remember to un-gunk the shower drain and wash the dishes and make brownies..

i really should text a friend to ask them to yell at me. that usually helps get the motivation going..

hghhhdhdhhdjhfkfhghghfhhhfhghgguuhhhhhh

:/

I should be working on classwork but instead I’m once again Listening to my Chainsaw Man Playlist and Thinking

NOOO A RELAPSE? SARAH'S WRITING A LETTER TO BE POSTED TO REHAB?!?!?!

Addiction is forever, and it's sad but sometimes people relapse. That doesn't mean he can't get clean again. It's a struggle. <3

AUUUGH I want to write! I want to draw! I want to play video games! I want to lay on the floor! I want to do things but I can only do one thing at a time!

ever hate your own oc so much that you can’t write the character well? :)))

Physics is weird because I feel so smart when I understand it but we’re 3+ months in and I’ve understood it all of twice

Update: 3 times now

Thursday, January 4.

Existential Ben Affleck.

Well it's January 4, after all—indeed it cannot be anything else. And nothing quite distills the suffocating existential weight quite like another image of Ben Affleck trying, and failing, to carry out the most menial tasks of the day. There is a little Ben Affleck in all of us.   So once you're done staring at the sad, widening pool of coffee at your feet, come celebrate this gaping abyss of a month with a series of Affleck-inspired gazes into the void.

@batfleckgifs

how did I go from being an overachieving overworking perfectionist 90s average high school student who thought they were smart and tried to do anything and everything to prove it to others even at the expense of their own mental and physical well-being to a chronically exhausted chronically stressed severely humbled desperately homesick adhd university student who gives fuck all about their schoolwork and just wants to sleep and hang out and get railed and sing without learning time constraints for songs who doesn’t know how to practice or study on a regular basis and who’s on the brink of financial crisis because their fucking osap won’t come in until they can get a doctor to fill their medical papers and at this rate will lose their scholarship who skips classes all the time and blows off assignments as if they don’t have real life consequences

Day 4: Nimbus

Doing this thing

Rendezvous in darkness no one else can reach

To hold, to taste what belongs to me

I’m ridiculously comically bad at some dexterity based skills. I’ve talked about being wretched at folding but I’m equally bad at cutting.

I worked at an oil and vinegar shop, cutting fresh bread for samples every day for a year with no improvement. My manager gave me repeated lessons and was absolutely perplexed that I was incapable of any growth. I genuinely tried so hard to no avail.

Usually my beloved will precut slices of the loaves they make because it’s just better all around. I don’t mess up the angle of the loaf or mangle the slice. Today they didn’t have time.

I have no explanation for how bad I am at this.