♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢
naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi
a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH
likes & reblogs appreciated <3
warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual
masterlist
♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢
✿oh my baby boy
❀first off: angel. 100%.
✿because u are his angel u feel me
❀he can't go a day without telling u
✿then also just the basic baby
❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done
✿puppy eyes and all
❀and also during sexy time
✿it's his most used name for u there
✿fight me on this
❀big on his own self made nicknames for u
✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?
❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"
✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye
❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew
♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢
✿now this guy is a wild card
❀he'd prefer ur name through & through
✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously
❀because he barely ever calls u that
✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife
❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with
❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."
✿during sex he can be quiet mean
❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way
✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."
❀when ur just about to black out??
✿but like i said
❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3
♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢
✿pretty
❀just pretty bro.
✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA
❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely
✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,
❀woman. and brat.
✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."
❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working
✿,,i'm busy, brat.''
❀in bed tho???
✿love or doll
❀i'm almost CERTAIN.
✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???
❀PFFF i'm on my knees
♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢
✿now this fucker
❀teasing names through & through
✿ur shorter than him?
❀"hey, shortie, need help?"
✿ur taller than him?
❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"
✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)
❀but he can be sweet too i promise
✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby
❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?
✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u
♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢
✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,
❀bug or lovebug
✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY
❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these
✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names
❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho
✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex
❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU
✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:
❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming
✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''
❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not
✿UGH lovesick fr
♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢
❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him
✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting
❀sweetheart, love & darling
✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying
❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it
✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER
❀& i will die on this hill
✿NEVER use any degrading names for u
❀ur his baby don't make him do that
✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane
❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"
✿ sedate me pls
♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢
✿AAA this guy
❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel
✿u can't change my mind
❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off
✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside
❀i'm thinking toots & peach
✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''
❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first
✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u
❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all
✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3
❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof
♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢
✿AHEM
❀so this man,,
✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name
❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable
✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.
❀his most frequently used one too i'd say
✿but then he'd go like
❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"
✿and idk about u but i'd faint
❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO
✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN
❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips
✿i'm (s)creaming
❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!
✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3
a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x
devider by @enchanthings
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I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.
previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:
this happened
also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag
currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):
harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room
yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup
they have a sort of tender moment, I guess
they have a complicated dynamic
harrow falls asleep again
she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor
and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture
harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off
@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap
I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!
so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts
like this
some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for
total respect to that
but I'm gonna be honest here
it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife
so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"
harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh
so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again
and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval
harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms
as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus
nobody asked you, but ok
I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus
because he's at least direct and honest about it
everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow
at this point, I respect the direct approach
augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—
WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER
CHAPTER 28
we're back at gideon-less canaan house
canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death
everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover
there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually
the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere
who knows, at this point
I don't trust anyone
there's a fog and rain and water rising still
which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se
magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle
which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior
aside from the presence of gideon and camilla
I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers
anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???
he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself
his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess
abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate
nobody ever elaborates
abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"
I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one
"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"
so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose
I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections
my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still
I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation
inconclusive still
abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted
which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk
CHAPTER 29
harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad
get perpetually owned, chad
mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes
me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this
the hill I will die on
mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself
I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into
"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow
that's our tagline over here, that's our brand
"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE
I HATE THAT MAN
he can go fu— ANYWAY
harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep
apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy
they gifted them to others as souvenirs too
it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday
yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first
I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily
how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—
I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY
ANYWAY
yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is
I also don't know where she is
yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her
which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened
harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole
none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow
"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"
so, augustine's plan involves dinner
harrow, hearing that, is like this
they look for clothes in the cavalier's things
yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"
I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves
I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this
ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared
apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality
hate giving him any props, but I must be fair
harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that
they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat
I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh
I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that
augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"
mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up
SO HERE'S THE THING
I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together
augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"
at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"
I forgot that's what it was called
I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"
my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep
to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek
AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????
god, I'm so embarrassed
palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually
mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great
he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask
idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception
mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine
CHAPTER 30
everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work
augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day
they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"
there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole
there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though
I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths
the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus
I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory
and the background telenovela I've got going on
BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns
good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards
emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself
I want to murder him in cold blood
I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands
the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me
it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man
his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts
he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story
"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW
so, they start to make out, all three of them
I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here
emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room
well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old
harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display
CHAPTER 31
yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her
harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"
when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time
people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time
ANYWAY
harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was
sometimes, life works that way
the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all
she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever
and she sees this
and the spear
she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator
alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls
I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death
me, it was me
anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there
I'm very happy because I need him alive
he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here
because he's upfront about the killing
he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it
like to use blood wards instead of bone ones
that it will make her safe from "us"
"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"
WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???
I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read
of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it
alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his
they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently
she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere
harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation
the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen
whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk
mercygirl says she didn't move her
we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."
obligatory yearning for camilla moment
That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg
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So uhhh
Twisted Wonderland Yandere Purge AU
The ideas here stem from @yanderemommabean and @blughxreader for the og creator and some excellent world biulding- so here I am- just adding this to a gay ass mobile game
Yan Twst students x Reader
Twisted Wonderland, is a... odd world. Filled with magic, odd creatures, and the sort. It's the perfect place for a loner nerd like yourself to be!
The school and the land in itself feels so nostalgic to you. Things that you learn about each town, city, and country, just make all sorts of sence to you.
Then... you got 22 red letters. Grabbing one at random you open it to read the contents of what's inside.
Dear Shrimpy♡
Here we have this thing called the Purge. It's comes from the rose place, so we also do it here since teens tend to often get someone they adore so much that they just rip out the troats of whoever they talk to♡
Whops~ I said the quiet part out loud~
Do wait nicely for me when the day comes, it be soon♡ I can't wait to squeeze you tightly and keep you close forever♡
Love,
Your favorite Eel♡
Ok- the purge. In this fuckin Disney ass world?- do they even own that- I guess they own half of all media so MAYBE- (nope, it's own by Universal)
Opening the other letters there was more talking about this purge, and how that they are going to keep you here forever and keep you safe.
What the fuck?-
Grim was in the corner happily snacking on 22 tuna cans.
"Grim"
"What is it henchman, can't you see I'm haveibg the feast if a lifetime!"
"Uh-huh- and- do tell me- who gave you all that tuna?"
"You know- all the guys that we helped out and kicked the asses of"
"..."
"Yeah- along with Ace and Deuce. They seemed to be getting along- witch was odd'
"Crap they are teaming up- oh no- that means-" others are probably teaming up too-
Not good not good-
Let's see here so it's people that I know-
We have Floyd as 'your favorite Eel' and he called me Shrimpy so obvious giveaway-
Fuck Tsunataro also signed it in his Nickname and called me child of man. He dosent know much about this, so thar could be either safe or very dangerous
Two your queens- oddly enough- but probably Vil and Riddle
One that called me Waifu/Husabando/Spouseu signed by Gloomurai
A big sis/bro/sib from someone, seemingly young so maybe ortho- witch isn't at all good
Two knights, one calling me their dream
One written in shakespirian for whatever reason
... I just realized this one has feathers and a shit ton of money in it and called me their jewl
One of the more scaryer ones just says I'm comeing, dont fight it
And more oddities.
Well, might aswell use that cash that, maybe Kalim? Sent me to get some defense. Or maybe bribe Azul- scraych that, Floyd and Jade are after me.
I don't want to hide in town and get them hurt...
Oh what to do- what to do-
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Child of man?"
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