MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy

literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭

ello ive been sleepy 😴 9 hrs eryday lately but ofc I got neck pain 🙄 I got hit on by an old dude who tried to ask me for s** ugh I got extremely objectified.. dysphoria hit me after that also got triggered because of memories of a similar past experience 🤪 im good tho now I've been listening to music to go to bed very relaxing, I discovered jack harlows music he's alright also did you see lil nas new music industry baby? Idk if you like that kinda music but im sure you can appreciate the mv . Im also afraid of bugs I know were the same person at this point, mine started with the butterfly episode of spongebob 💀 😂 my winter depression is coming my summer anxiety is mostly GONE tho which is good in some ways bad in others. who do you watch on youtube just for curiosity ? my meds are late 😪 Idk if im gonna have tomorrows, here's something fun fact abt me tho, Wellbutrin xl , some personality to the me if you ... idk ppls kind of medicines says things abt them idk idk ✌ ☮ ❤ 🤟🤙🤙❤🌷

hiiiiii! so sorry that happened:( i'll kill him for you. i take welbutrin too......... we are so connected. my music taste is insane i listen to a lot of stuff but also nothing. i like lil nas x but i dont listen to his stuff. and jack harlow sounds familiar but... yeah. my youtube taste is awful. popular commentary people most of the time. but for actually good youtubers...eleanor neale, mina le, khadija mbowe... my friends and i talk abt nexpo's videos a lot. i tried to give some variety. um dude i've been totally awful recently to be honest. lost a friend group over stupid shit. again.😭. last ask i mentioned my friend mischa? we are no longer friends. literally an hour after i answered your ask. i'm trying to get over it but 💔. im going to baltimore tomorrow!!!! well today in 7 hours. haha. i need to sleep. i'm excited but nervous bc i feel super sick the past couple days :( a 4 and a half hour car trip will not help. i've completely changed my hannibal serial killer idea. oops. im such a genius for the last one but now im like ughhh but i want it to be PERSONAL. someone my oc knowssss. and can eventually kill. so im trying to work w that. trying to make her like an artist and the killer is copying her art but with murder... its a work in progress. i read one where a guy was copying the murders in a book series someone wrote. i saw my psychiatrist and she was proud of me🥺😭. got put on guant-something for adhd. yahoo. if it doesn't work i finally will get to try stimulants or whatever. i just have the feeling thats what im gonna need LMAO! last but not least i forgot to do my homework tonight. um.... and its due sunday and we're leaving to baltimore til tuesday. and i need my laptop to do it. but then i'd have to bring the stupid thing..... ok i'll just bring it. and do it at night secretly and pretend i didnt forget about it. perfect. its a really easy practice quiz but i'm a cheater. i need my laptop so i can search the answers on my phone. i have no excuse for this

i just saw a tiktok that reminded me if todays thearpy session and like my step dad rlly does just 'ur faking mental illness we didn't have it back in my day''ur 13 you shouldn't have anxiety' 'Its A tRend' LIKE OFC YALL DIDNT KNOW ABOUT BACK IN UR DAD ROBERT YOU WERE BORN IN LIKE THE 60s IR SOME SHIT WITH YOUR OLD WHITE MANN LOOKIN ASS and he rlly is just 'just stop compring urself to others' THEN COMPARES MY ADHD AND MY OLDER BROTHERS?! HE HAS INTERAL ADHD I HAVE EXTERNAL ADHD then be like 'Its been a year you cant have self esteem issues' ???? wtf 'I dOnT fEel rEmOrSe beCausE i sAw MY doG gET hIt' ok??? i cant grive a dog ig he always makes it abou HIS life experiences like?? IM LIVING THROUGH A PANDEMIC AND HE WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY ONLY OUTLET TO TALK TO PPL. I bring up the fact my younger bro hits my ass 24/7 and hes hsut 'hElL gRow OutPf It' LIKE NO HE WONT IF YOU DONT EXPLAIN WHATS WRONG WOTH IT HE WONDERS WHY I SAY IM GOING TO CUT THAT SIDE OF MY FAMILY OUT WHEN I GROW UP? I SAY 'im uncomfortable with this movie that practically smut' yOur oVerReaCtiNg i relize i have alot of oent anger towards my dad who is lowkey abusive. not to mention he talk about me being trans (to his knowledge) like its just a phase he yells at me to take my meds. THOSE FUCK WITH MY DEPRESSION AND MY APPETITE. IF I TAKE THEM I WILL FALL BACK INTO AN EATING DISORDER. he says its for my seizures. i take cbd for those. he just wants me to take it so my adhd doesn't affect HIM he wonders why i don't like talking to him about my mental health? hes said being suicidal is 'selfish' and dumpong ur problems on someone else like the only reason ppl commit suicide is because they feel that death is better then pain and suffering he doesn't understand me. ive tried explaining the fact that he is the reason that i feel im so fucked up in the head. he brushes it off. he says he has adhd. that it affects him to but his room wasn't dirty. he grew up in an era where child abuse was legal hes undermined my legit truama related to seeing my dogs die with the excuse 'i can't feel remorse because I've had so many dogs die when I was your age' LIKE NO. IVE ONLY HAD 3 PASS. I GET ATTACHED TO THEM. AND HE HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO SAY GET OVER IT?! IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. I COULDNT VISIT MY GRANDPARENTS WHO ARE BATTLING CANCER. I SAW SOMEONE SWERVE TO HIT MY DOG AND HE TREATS IT LIKE IT WAS AN ORDINARY THURSDAY iv literally sobbed for hours on end because of things he said 'I doNt wAnt tHis pIty pArTy' YOU HAVE A DEEP VOICE AND ARE SCREAMING AT ME A FOOT AWAY FROM MY FACE ABOUT MY DIRTY ROOM YET NOOoo MY YOUNGER BROTHER GETS A FREE PASS BC HES EPILEPTIC AND YOU DENY MY MENTAL ILLNESS WHICH AFFECTS THIS. 'yoUr rOOm bEinG clEaN wILl mAkE iT beTter' NO IT WONT. ILL STILL WANT TO KMS D A D BECAUSE OF **YOU** UNDERMINING MY TRUAMA mf rlly yells at me for 3-6 hours then says 'now give me a hug' and then yells when i dont want a hug? like that makes me want to distance myself from you. i use my phone to escape your yelling and you rlky are just 'YOuR On iT tOo mUCh' like????????????? he says i do thing for attention and popularity i dont want that though i hate being watched. and like i wouldn't look for small bits off attention if you payed attention to mr as a child and didn't vent to me about seeing someone DIE i was like 7. like,,, i see where i get my love for gore. in all honesty its prolly just the tip of the iceberg there have been times where mom had to call the police on dad bc he was yelling that much Like this one time back in El Paso mom's friend had a straight up come pick me up along with my younger brother because Dad refused to leave he was screaming and actually screaming I mean screaming wait to the point where I of all people was literally cowering behind the couch hmm yes. that prolonged truama is prolly some of the shit that caused the system to form. it was like when i was 10 i was in an rp that was so gorey that the mods on amino had to stop it on a GORE amino and i was literally just🧍🏼 well that was fun not scared at all

literally ly someone graphically decribed cannibalism and i was 'haha mood' i'm pretty sure my dad contributed to like half my tiggers def the yelling he says he wishes i did mot realistic art like no bitch my art my laws of Physics yeah like take those old medieval drawings these mfs like he says its amazing then hes jsut 'do realistic' at these yeah humor is my coping mechanism and holy fuck is fitting bc that treats my truama like a fucking joke mom understands it fairly well its just dad if i cam out as a sys to em he'd prolly send me back to the mental hospital yeah he doesnt understand like i got my hereditary anxiety from my moms sind and hes just i di not see

i think what bugs me the most about people being lazy and not wanting to read or pushing a narrative of something you didn't say or do onto you, then saying something about the method of delivery, and then getting their hackles raised at anything that pushes back (i do this too. like many times i overreact because i didnt read something right, or i don't think that maybe i don't need to be heard, or i take on a more combative tone even if someone agrees. so i need to de-escalate for myself as well and be aware....) esp on the basis of length and some grammar and syntax issues—not necessarily the content itself—is that i like....edit for a living.

i have a dumb BA and i have my MFA. i copy-edit on the side as a side-job and i am good at it. i am a literal video editor, a script editor, a scriptwriter, and artist. so like not only did i "train" in that, i have experience, and like.... im good at it. but that's my WORK like that's LITERALLY MY CAREER so when im on the internet i'm not trying to write a fucking thesis that's so intense and edited. i do that for my career and it's effort. this is me time, leisure time, im not being judged or graded and i don't need to put my whole back into something that is largely inconsequential. i'm typing from the top of the fucking dome and that's it man like there's a diff between a thing that takes me 5m to write and something i have to edit a trillion times on top of my learning disabilities and adhd. which isnt a fucking death sentence. adhd helps me be more creative, my LDs are what lead me to art, i'm intelligent and talented even if i hate myself and it's painful. idk how many times i can say this you know. someone said to me once "you're obviously not a native eng speaker" and fucking obviously i am but that wasnt the issue it was saying i can't construct sentences or whatever when im literally just stream of consciousness and it is just so invalidating. i dont like saying it but it's literally people calling you stupid for something you're not trying to heavily regulate because you ARE ALWAYS SELF-REGULATING.

honestly i get shocked at my typos or ways i word things if i re-read them but in my brain it just comes out that way. it doesnt always make sense either idk i try and say it. but i dont want to call it ableist it's just weird. fucking weird and it feels soooooo fucking bad bc i already know lmao im sorry man sometimes commas look like periods and i think im typing in the right tense or the right word but im not idk what to tell ya. u can edit it for me if u want

yesterday i couldnt focus at all like i was watching history (surprise) and had to keep rewinding because my brain started to trail off and i would stare at this box. or ill be thinking about something else the whole time. then i get anxious and try and concentrate and i cant. it's a lot of adrenaline buddy and our brains are like rubber or whatever ok im built different ;-;

other things adhd makes fun:

- when you receive your THC and it takes you hours to use it because your brain is trailing off. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT FOR UR BRAIN TO STOP PROCRASTINATING TO HAVE FUN? dumbest thing ever esp since ppl w impulse issues <3 drugs cos we r sad every1 thinks we r STUPID

- when u literally just stare at the same page for like 10m. when it takes u all fucking day to watch 5 minutes of a stupid BL bc ur brain is like THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS AND WHAT IS THAT? THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS esp for me as a FILMMAKEURRRR AN ARTISTE A PRETENTIOUS BITCH i cant turn it the fuck off

- WITHOUT INSURANCE MY MEDS ARE 400 DOLLARS SO IF YOU GIVE ME THAT MONEY, I WILL LISTEN TO YOU

this is something i've talked abotu a lot and ppl who know me know that i really struggle with this. maybe that's why i turned to art i dont know but i think there is a gap between people who are willing to read and people who just aren't and then dont bother. but i feel like you should sort of take the time to maybe understand a person may have diff communication styles. like i can understand people or try my best if they dont have a great grasp on english. we know what the fuck communication is. there's this one troll i know of who literally just types nonsense because he doesn't know what he's talking about, he's a dick, and he's not a native eng speaker. that's a time where i'm like i literally cannot with this person because i dont think he even tries lmao. i just ignore him bc he says dumb shit now so maybe if someone thinks that of me they should just move it righgt along ithink im just going to start being a dick and calling eveyrone ableist and start acting like the ~*~*~*snowflake~**~~*~* they dont like bc bitch if im sad we all sad now

i also find it IRONIC when non black ppl comment on a flow or whatever since u all love to use our words wrong bitch back off if u cant say nigga i take 0 writing advice from u

all this is to say i know it's not cos of my adhd and learning disorders since i can do my jobs efficiently. i think that......people are just upset when u critique something that has nothing to do with them as a person but they tied their identity to it so now we all have to suffer im sorry that you...idk don't care about the world? who knows, what do you want? lol

studying sucks as someone with adhd/add

and that’s not talked about nearly enough! in general and in the studyblr community.

i’m making this “guide” (of sorts) to, at the very least, let adhd/add ppl who struggle in school know that they’re not alone!

(also, just for reference, for the rest of this post i will be referring to adhd and add people as just adhd, because that is the official diagnosis for both. just know that i’m not excluding y’all inattentive types!!)

btw: neurotypical/non adhd studyblr are allowed and 100% encouraged to reblog this post!

distractions. my mortal enemy

writing this post is literally my distraction from writing my english essay. which is weird because i’m actually interested in the topic of my essay!

so why am i hyperfocusing on something completely unnecessary?

in short, because dopamine! that bastard.

long version is that people with adhd have unusually low levels of dopamine (the happy chemical, if you weren’t aware!) in their brain. this makes it extremely hard to stop doing something that is giving you dopamine and switch to something that won’t give you that sweet sweet dopamine.

in my case, it means that it’s hard to stop writing this post (which is about something i’m very passionate about, albeit hypocritical of me) and write my essay (which i’m also passionate about, but that includes writing an essay).

also, under this category i’d like to mention something that i found on the wikipedia page for hyperfocus that is just a great explanation of adhd!

“Some types of ADHD are a difficulty in directing one's attention (an executive function of the frontal lobe), not a lack of attention.”

thanks, wikipedia! what a nice helpful source. (note: wikipedia is a great resource that we all use, but that doesn’t mean you are bound to donate. don’t, if you don’t want to. they don’t have a fundraiser going on at the time of writing this, but.... still. don’t feel bad. other people will donate, and wikipedia will stay running.)

^ can you tell i’m adhd. geez. ok moving on

(another sidenote: apparently i lied. as soon as i went on another wikipedia page, they asked me to donate. damnit)

how do i... stop getting as distracted?

first off, understand that hyperfocus/lack of focus is part of your condition. you are not broken or “bad” for not being able to focus on what you need/want to.

try a pomodoro timer. this has literally saved me so much.

try a pomodoro... with friends! let them keep you accountable and working on what you need to.

have you been watching youtube for 3 hours and haven’t gotten out of bed that entire time? get up. get moving, walk to your kitchen and get a snack! some water, for god’s sake. take your snack time to think about what you need to work on and decide on one thing to do before you get another snack.

“but i can’t do just one task at a time! i’m better at multitasking!”

might i suggest fidget toys? i used to say that i was great at multitasking—no. no one is good at multitasking, it’s just not human nature to multitask. just trust me on this one, aight?

btw, sleep. not sleeping will only make it harder to focus on the things you have to do!!

if you take meds: take your frickin meds, dude. like seriously. take them.

if you don’t take meds and want to: talk to your doctor asap. tell them your concerns, and how adhd affects your life on a daily basis. and stimulant meds are not the only option!! be open to suggestions from your doctor, but if you feel like they don’t get what you’re going through: you gotta tell them again. give them more info, because what you tell them is literally the only way they’ll know something is wrong.

getting. overwhelmed. a trap that’s too easy to fall into

lord knows i’ve been overwhelmed. i’m overwhelmed right now. maybe you’ve been sick, or there was a really hard assignment in this class or that, and you had an exam in three classes over a two day time period—i get it. and you felt like this was your year! you were doing so well! but now you have late work in multiple classes and you’re not sure what to actually... do for those assignments.

a lot of this overwhelmed business has to do with not knowing how to start. you have this pile of work to do, how are you supposed to do any of it when there’s just so much and you know you can’t possibly get it all done.

“try and do one thing,” people will say

“just start! it’ll be easier once you start,” people will continue saying

“but it’s too much,” you’ll argue

“you don’t have to do all of it,” they’ll argue back, and you’ll realise that they’re right but it’s so easy for them. for you it’s like pulling teeth to start writing that essay outline or to start working on those chemistry problems. it feels like there’s no point if you don’t finish it—if you can’t turn it in, what’s even the point?

hey. i feel you. ppl w/o executive dysfunction just don’t understand how your brain works differently. and that’s not your fault.

the main thing i can say is: talk to people who do understand. 

your friends that have seen you struggling in school forever? they get it. maybe they don’t understand exactly how you do things differently, but they see the grief you go through each year just to survive.

if you don’t talk to people about what’s going on in your life, you’re gonna explode. like actually.

so how do i stop from getting overwhelmed?

talk about your stress early on, before it’s “too late”

that said, it’s never too late. it is NEVER too late to get help.

you got friends who have the same classes as you? have you made friends in your classes? ask them for clarification on assignments, if it’s too scary to go to the teacher.

i know that for me, at least, it doesn’t even cross my mind to ask my teacher about these supposedly silly thing! but i’ve started trying to take into account that if it’s preventing me from knowing where to start something, it’s not silly. it’s something that i need to ask about.

if you can afford to do so, consider asking your doctor if they can refer you to a therapist. this comes from someone with zero experience in therapy (altho i really want to! it just hasn’t worked out that way yet.), so take it with a HEAVY grain of salt. i just know that from other’s experiences, it has helped them immensely.

self esteem. what’s that?

with all this getting distracted and overwhelmed, it’s easy to confuse your adhd with yourself. yes, you have adhd, but it’s not all of you. and did you know that adhd people have enhanced creativity? you probably did, actually. isn’t it amazing that people with adhd have figured out how to persevere and live in a world not built for us!

now, i’d like to address some common self-esteem issues in adhd individuals and why it’s all your brain tricking you!

feeling down about our abilities.

this can mean not feeling good enough when you fail to do something that you previously thought you could do easily.

this is your brain trying to tell you that you can do better than this, but the signal is getting messed up somewhere along the way! when something doesn’t turn out as well as you want it to, you have to take that and push down the urge to beat yourself up about it and use that disappointment and turn it into self improvement!

comparing ourselves to neurotypical people.

“why can everyone else do it, and not me?”

because your brain isn’t built to work like that, silly! you need to think hard about why you can’t do it the same way as them—and find a way to accomplish the same goal but with a method that works for you.

it feels like we get more criticism than praise.

listen. maybe you are getting more criticism than praise—and that sucks! like absolutely, positively fuckin sucks. but more than likely:

that’s the rsd baby. your mind naturally takes criticism as a personal attack, AND it amplifies it in your mind! double whammy, if you will. this is why having someone to talk to who supports you is so important, so you can have an outside source telling you that you don’t deserve to feel like shit. because you don’t.

thanks for getting through this post ☺

all bases of the art in this post come from this website of open source sketchy illustrations!!

i sincerely hope that this has been at all helpful. if you have anything to add onto this post i encourage you to do so! if you have any questions about anything in this post, feel free to hmu at my ask box !!!

so uh i think i have social anxiety.

on one hand, im happy i found out about this bc this explains so much and now i know that there’s a way to deal w what i have

but on the other hand,

(putting under cut so it wont clog ppl’s dashes. ok to reblog tho! if you have any advice or any similar experiences i would love to know)

i have so many problems already. it was already so nerve-wracking to get the courage up to tell my family that im autistic and then that im adhd later on. i dont want to go through that stress of telling them again. but, i cant really avoid it now. i mean, im already stressing about it, haha. im going to have to tell them. thats the only way i can get help. and my family needs to know whats going on with me so that they can understand me better.

it’s just. each time i forced myself to talk to my family, i had to battle with the belief that i wouldn’t be believed and they’d think badly of me, which is ridiculous bc my family is so loving and supportive, but i can’t help but wonder ‘what if they won’t believe me this time?’ and ‘what if i don’t actually have anxiety and then they won’t believe me in the future for other things bc this time i was wrong?’

recently i’ve had some issues w tricking myself into seeing symptoms of smth that wasn’t there (i thought my meds were severely making my hands/feet cold but i think now that it was just correlation bc my hands and feet get rlly cold sometime, but im not sure yet if the meds had a hand in it or not), and im afraid that bc of that i’ll be less likely believed by my family and my psychiatrist. and what if this is the case right now and im just thinking that the stuff i go through is not enough to be validly dxed as social anxiety??

ugh. who knows, maybe i’ll have the guts to talk to my physchiatrist first and see what she thinks. it really helped me, knowing that i was now believed for sure when i got finally dxed w autism and adhd. hopefully that will happen again and im not wrong this time. if i am, i don’t know what i’ll do tbh. i’ll live, tho.

hi miss moon! sorry it’s been so long, life has definitely gotten in the way a bit. i actually had a showcase the other day, so between rehearsals and practices i was swamped, and practically sleeping at the rink lmao. i have a few more finals next week and then I’m out for the summer! which is both exciting & daunting at the same time, i actually really love life on campus :( but the good thing is a lot of us from the hockey team and figure skating team are staying in the area for a multitude of reasons so I’m lucky enough to be able to spend summer in my new favorite city with my friends and a certain special someone...

which brings me to my next update; my boyfriend (!!!). I thought a lot about what you said, and what my best friend chimed in, and thought i should just be myself. which in this case meant asking him up front if there was a specific reason he wanted to put a label on it, etc. and while I’ve never been in an actual relationship before (plz don’t clown me ik🙄) i felt that i would still be able to gauge his intentions based on his response. (besides, i had a fruit slush bubble tea and moon’s advice; what could go wrong?)

well, actually, i started crying in his dorm room lol. but before you go all big sis energy 😡😡 let me explain 😭 so i asked if he wanted to get like boba after practice at the rink and he said yea, so we got boba and then we just started idly chatting but he had a finals paper to work on so he asked if i wanted to come back to his dorm room to chill. & again, let me preface by saying I’ve been to his dorm room before to play halo w him or when we’ve watched movies, so this isn’t his devilish man ploy to get in my pants, trust me moon, i would know✋😔 ANYWHO i was just up front about it when we got to his place and kind of just asked him if there was like a specific reason he wanted to be able to call me his gf yadda yadda the works. and get this. he said that a few different girls had approached him lately asking to hang out/hookup whatever, but he wasn’t interested because he was with me in whatever capacity our relationship was, but he wanted to ask me if i was ok being called his gf so he could tell other girls that he has a girlfriend because he only has eyes for me. but he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable so he wanted to ask me first before he started telling other ppl we were exclusive 😭 idfk if i explained that in a way that makes sense but SHEESH i started getting so emotional and crying because i didn’t know men could have thoughts like this??? and actually consider a girls feelings??? so long story short i said yes and he had the cutest smile ever and then we spent the night watching avengers endgame before he called me an uber home. now i swore i would not be caught dead saying that i cherish and respect a man, but hot damn if this hockey player isn’t growing on me...🥲

and finally, i saw your post about your adhd diagnosis. if it brings you any comfort i actually have a mild ocd diagnosis :) it manifested itself after starting ice skating so young and being pressured to have everything a certain way all the time, and that kind of just bled into the way i organized my life outside the rink. I’m on some pretty low dose meds for it now just to help me navigate school & life a bit easier, but i totally get it! getting a diagnosis can be unsettling because before then it was just a what if in your head. i try to tell myself that a diagnosis isn’t even that big of a deal, I’m still the same person i was before that i am now, except now i know why i sometimes arrange things around my dorm with a ruler so they are all geometrically even lmao. what I’m trying to say is that your diagnosis doesn’t define you! life goes on and whatnot, I’m always here if ya need me miss moon 😉 mwah😽😽🥰

- 🍡

ahahaha it's alright!!!! ive actually been having a pretty overloaded week too with reviews and assignments, not to mention the groveling I have to prepare myself to do to appease grad schools 🥲 i.... do not know when this was sent I'm so sorry 😭😭😭 but I hope your finals went well if they're over ❣️❣️ I'm sure you'd do great !! Also, omg I hope you got some rest too. Being a figure skater sounds fun but also super exhausting 😳

HELLLOOOO???? CONGRATULATIONS???!!? I'm so glad you decided on something so big and went with it 💕💕 also it's ok I've never been in a proper relationship ship before and don't plan to at this point 🤠👍 I will never love a man the way I love myself but it makes me feel so giddy and warm to see other people in love!!! does that make sense?? I don't rlly want it for myself (except just to experience it LOL) but listening to you (and your bf's hehe) story.... YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE !!!!!! WTH. congratulations on getting yourself a proper man 😡💘 (omg fruit slush bubble tea is the best, it brings me campus memories)

JDHDJFKK when you said you started crying in his room, I rlly was about to go big sis energy and beat this bitch up omg 🙂 it doesn't matter if I personally believe in non-violence. ("his devilish man ploy" SHJSDNDN I started laughing so hard) some men do deserve rights methinks also yeah 😭😭 every time a man expresses thoughtfulness irl I get stumped and I rlly shouldn't keep the bar that low but men who have emotional intelligence??? sign me tf up. You snagged a real male specimen there, I'm so happy for you 🤩🤩🤩

And thank you for telling me that!!! I didn't know a lot of people upfront with their diagnoses so it does bring me some comfort to hear that in a way. I'm much better rn since the initial shock (?? Can I call it that??) Has worn off and now I'm just. Ok. This is like this but it's okay. Your words are so nice to hear so thank you so much, mooncake, it really helps 🥺🌼