What if this is all a scene from someone telling a story about Stede the way Black Pete was telling a story about Blackbeard and, instead of his head being made of smoke, he just . . . has a beard?
I think if you were to put all the OFMD characters on roller skates, Buttons is the only one who'd keep on their feet for any significant amount of time. I'm picturing him standing placidly on deck with a bird on his head as the waves just roll him back and forth. Everyone else would fall on their asses immediately