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sailorbadger · 3 years

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The Fandom’s Least Favorite Character - an analysis on Kate

Kate is probably the most hated character in the Robin Hood fandom. Not even probably, she is the one who consistently gets the most hate. So, what has she done? Did she commit several murders? Did she kill off a beloved character? Did she do something so problematic that she deserves to burn in hell? Did she do war crimes? No, her biggest sin is existing among unfair circumstances.

The title of this post is kind of a lie. This analysis is not really about Kate as a character, but about how she is written, how the narrative presents her and how this all affects the fandom’s treatment of her. I started writing this because I am sick of seeing so much unnecessary hate for Kate. This is just me commenting on larger trends I have witnessed and a decade’s worth of frustrations finally being written out. If you do recognize yourself from some of my descriptions, I hope that this post will give you something to think about, but just know that this is not meant for any one person in particular.

I’m not going to try to convince anyone to think of Kate as their favorite character. I’m not even trying to make anyone like her. I’m just trying to see why she is so hated within the fandom. So, let’s start off with how it all began. Grab some snacks, you’re going to need them; this is a long one.

Introduction: Is it all Merlin’s fault?

To understand the context in which Kate was introduced to the show, let’s first look at where we left off at the end of season 2. I’ll start with the in-universe changes first. The biggest change obviously is that Gisborne murdered Marian. This altered the whole course of the show. Marian was such a central part of not only the show but also the Robin Hood legends, that at that point it was obvious that things were going to change. Will and Djaq left the show as well. Them leaving is not as dramatic of a change for the show’s narrative since they were not as central as Marian, but they did make up one third of the gang. This meant that there was a need for new characters to be introduced in season 3.

In our world, things changed between seasons 2 and 3 as well. There was a larger gap in production than before (with seasons 1 and 2 coming out in consecutive years and there being a gap year between seasons 2 and 3), and some of the people working on the show left or were replaced. Robin Hood’s spot on the BBC schedule was taken over by Merlin for 2008 so I guess we could blame that show for everything that went wrong in season 3. (I’m obviously joking here but conspiracy theories are welcome.)

The most important change in my opinion – and I think this is even more important to how season 3 turned out than anything that happened in-universe in season 2 – is the fact that Dominic Minghella was no longer writing or producing the show. It’s surprising to me that the fandom as a whole doesn’t ever really talk about this, when in many other fandoms creators or showrunners leaving the show are usually a big deal and mark the end of an era. I myself only found out about Minghella’s departure from the show before season 3 this year, but it seems to explain a lot on why season 3 felt so different from seasons 1 and 2.

With all that out of the way, the stage is set, and it is time to look at how exactly Kate came into the show.

Six boots, two feet

Season 3 starts off with my least favorite episode of the whole show (see my episode ranking for more details). It tries its best to address the events of the season 2 finale, but in a way that will let it quickly get to the season 3 storylines. Unfortunately, the things that happened at the end of the previous season were so important that they would have needed several episodes to cover the full impact of the events.

Kate herself is introduced in episode 2. She is immediately given a reason to hate the villains and join the fight when her brother dies. She doesn’t join the outlaws right away, but when she does, she essentially has to take over three roles at once. I do not think it’s a coincidence that I think episode 4 is Kate’s best episode and that she’s at her best before she actually joins the gang. That is the point in the show when she is allowed to be her own character rather than someone who is trying to fill a void.

Like I said, Kate has three roles to take over; she gets Djaq’s spot in the gang as “the girl one”, Will’s role as “the peasant with personal connections to the people’s suffering” (and interestingly, since Kate’s family is around, her connection could have been even stronger than Will’s) and Marian’s as “the love interest”. Since the season 2 finale got rid of both of the only female characters in the show, it was inevitable that they would eventually be replaced if the show wanted to include any romantic storylines (it was, after all, 2009, so queer representation was out of the question). With three pairs of boots to fill, and only two feet, it should not come as a surprise to anyone that Kate can’t possibly do it all alone. The show does introduce Tuck and Isabella as well to help fill the gaps, but I think Kate gets labeled as “the replacement” far more often than the other two.

A triangle without a base is just an angle

Kate had all the potential for a good plotline. Her brother died, making her hungry for revenge, yet this part of her is only sprinkled in every now and then instead of being a part of her character arc. Instead, she is made a part of not one, not two, but three love triangles.

I’ll start with the Much/Kate/Allan one. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t actually exist. All sides of this “triangle” are… weird. The writers try to frame it as a legitimate love triangle, when only one person in it seems to have any real feelings for another character. Much is shown to be interested in Kate, but we as the audience are never given a reason for why he likes her or even how he fell for her. I guess we’ll just have to take his “I fall in love very easily” (from 2x4) quite literally. Kate does not seem to have any romantic feelings for Much, and she seems oblivious to his feelings as well.

To be honest, I don’t think Kate ever really saw Allan as an option either. At best I could admit that maybe she had a slight attraction to him, but I never got the impression that it was something she would seriously pursue. I don’t think Allan was seriously interested in Kate either. His flirting with her is quite similar to his joke-y flirting with Marian and Djaq. My friend and I talked at length about this, but Allan doesn’t seem like the type of person to flirt for real. This could be a whole analysis on its own, so I won’t go too deep into it here. But I don’t think Allan considers Kate a legitimate romantic option.

So, this “love triangle” only exists in Much’s head and in the narrative the writers try to force on the audience. The Kate/Allan side of it is practically dropped the minute Kate/Robin becomes a thing.

Then there is the Much/Kate/Robin/Isabella triangle that is not a triangle either. I already covered Much/Kate for the most part, so I won’t go into it. Since the Robin/Isabella relationship is not that central to Kate’s character, I won’t bore you and myself by going through it that deeply. The buildup for that relationship is practically nonexistent, and so is the end of it. The whole Robin/Isabella relationship feels forced, because the writers didn’t know how to properly replace Marian while coming up with something new.

Kate’s crush on Robin seems to develop out of nowhere as well. It looks like a pattern when it comes to romances this season. Robin himself doesn’t appear to have any romantic interest towards Kate until he and Isabella “break up”. After that point, their relationship progresses way too fast. It doesn’t help that they seem to have no chemistry between them, and Robin treats Kate like a child and then five seconds later proceeds to make out with her.

Honestly, if Kate had to have a romance with a character on the show (and with it being 2009 obviously they could not fulfil my dreams of Kate being bi but that’s beside the point), it should have been with Archer. The two of them had more chemistry in the 30 seconds they worked together in 3x12 than Robin and Kate had the entire season. It would have also made me far less uncomfortable, since the characters would have been closer in age. Which brings me to my next point.

“There is only one thing worse than a rapist – a child”

How old is Kate supposed to be? Seriously, this show can’t seem to make its mind about her. In general, I do not trust anyone’s age on this show unless it’s been stated somewhere. I know some people try to base the characters’ ages on the actors’ real ages, but to that I say, “fuck that”. Archer is the best example of the fact that this show did not even try to cast people who are the right age, or even look the part. (Seriously, he does not look even close to being 20.)

That being said, Kate is written like she is both 15 and 25 at the same time. I don’t know if the writers had a specific age in mind when they were writing her, but there is a huge difference between those ages. I think it’s the most reasonable thing to assume that she’s in her late teens, maybe at most in her very early twenties. She is still living with her family (I know that most women at the time married in their 20s but it’s not like this show is concerned with historical accuracy) and her behavior is a little immature at times. With all that said, I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that I find it incredibly uncomfortable that all the men that are presented as possible love interests to her are fully grown men.

It is the most obvious in Robin and Kate’s scenes. Like I said earlier, Robin treats Kate like a child and speaks to her in a condescending way, only to then make out with her in the same scene. I must wonder why the writers didn’t just age up Kate. I think it would have been more interesting to make her someone who is already married, and instead of losing her brother, it would be her husband that dies. Of course, I would prefer it if Kate didn’t have to be a part of any of these love triangles to begin with but aging her up would have made the dynamics far less uncomfortable. (I do have to also point out the fact that Meg is also written like she is a teen girl. The show then tries to pair her off with Gisborne, who is even older than the men Kate is being forced into love triangles with. So… yikes.)

Let’s take a break, drink some water

Let’s take a moment to recap what we’ve learned here. First of all, Kate entered the show in unfair circumstances and with only two feet to fill three pairs of boots. She was only ever allowed to be a part romance plots, and she didn’t get a proper character arc of her own. In general, the women in this season were not written well (not that seasons 1 and 2 were the height of feminist television either), and they were reduced to being love interests or tools to further the male character’s plotlines. Without Dominic Minghella involved and with a full year between seasons 2 and 3, the show lost some of its charm. Unfortunately, this meant that Kate was not the best written character. But I do not think she deserves all the hate the fandom has given her over the years.

Interlude: Doctor Death

Before I get too much into how the fandom has reacted to Kate over the years, I feel like I should explain my own history with this show and the fandom surrounding it.

I started watching the show when it was first airing here on TV. It was some time during season 2, and once I had seen my very first episode, I watched all the following ones as well. With the finale, there was a problem. I had seen 2x12 and knew that the final episode of the season would air the next week. I was so excited for it, but then my mother decided that we would all go out and have dinner. I kept looking at the clock all day, hoping I would make it home in time. I got home just to see the credits rolling. I’m still a little bitter about it.

After this, I was desperate to see how the season ended. I’ll remind you that this was before it was common for shows to be put online officially. Streaming wasn’t really a thing yet. I did the only thing I knew what to do; I went to YouTube. The thing is, I did not know that what I had been watching was the second season of the show. So, you can imagine my confusion, when I find the very grainy version of 1x13 on YouTube and start watching it. Eventually I figured out my mistake and watched 2x13. At some point I watched season 1 as well, but I honestly don’t have that many memories of when I first watched this show. My clearest memory is being betrayed by my own mother when she forced me to go out for dinner.

Since I do not remember what year this all happened in, I did some googling and if I’m correct, season 2 aired here for the first time in the summer of 2009, with reruns in the summer of 2010. Because I have no other memories for context, I can’t say whether or not season 3 was even out in the UK at the time. Anyway, I did not watch season 3 for a few years. I also didn’t engage with the fandom until 2012, when I joined Tumblr. (A side note: while trying to find out when season 2 aired, I found the episode titles and descriptions. Apparently 2x4’s Finnish title was Doctor Death. There were some real gems on that list but this one was my favorite.)

Over the years, I had read bits and pieces about season 3 on the internet. I was still upset about the end of season 2, and the things I read did not make me want to watch season 3. Sometime in 2012-2013 I finally gave in and watched season 3. I was mostly disappointed by the season as a whole, and as for Kate specifically, I found her annoying. In the fandom, I went along with the Kate-hate that was popular in the fandom at the time.

I did a full rewatch of the show with my friend in 2016–2017. During that time, I didn’t hate Kate as much as I did before. Maybe it was that I had a fresh perspective, maybe it was that I had matured in those few years. Who knows? I was mostly disappointed by the bad writing. Even back then, I wished that Kate had been given a proper chance.

The next proper rewatch of the whole series I did was this past winter. I watched the show in a non-chronological order with someone who had never seen it before. This time, I was angry at the writers and found myself half-ironically becoming a Kate-stan. I also began to really pay attention to how the fandom has talked about her over the years and was unnerved by the hate has she gotten.

So, here we are. Time to take a look at how the fandom has treated Kate. Most of this will be based on my own experiences and memories, so if someone else has a different point of view to offer (especially from the early days of the fandom while the show was still ongoing), feel free to comment! I just wanted to give you my own history with the fandom to show that I have indeed been around for most of the fandom’s history.

The hate-train for Kate-town leaves from platform 4

It seems that from the very beginning, Kate was disliked. I remember reading negative comments about her way back in the early 2010s (I would try to look for examples, but I just spent 30 minutes trying to find out when season 2 first aired here and it’s currently 1am so I am not spending any more time googling right now). There are fics that make fun of her and how badly she was written, and most of the jokes and dislike about season 3 seem to always come back to her. This attitude has been present in the fandom in other contexts as well. Over the years, the hate towards Kate has come and gone along with the popularity of the fandom.

Every once in a while, someone has tried to either write Kate better or even see her as a character that was let down by the writers. Mostly this has not led to any significant change in the fandom’s attitudes. I feel like whenever some of the older fans outgrow their Kate-hate by either just maturing and realizing it’s pointless or just not wanting to waste their time making fun of her, new fans come in and start the whole thing all over again.

I am grateful, however, that the general consensus in the fandom seems to be (at least in the year 2021) that the actress is not to blame for Kate’s faults. It still does make me uncomfortable that people go so far as to cross out her face on pictured etc. just to show how much they hate the character. This hate that Kate gets feels very misogynistic at times and is at least partially the result of the show’s misogynistic writing, but the actress deserves no negativity for playing Kate.

What about Isabella?

One thing that is very interesting to note is that while both Kate and Isabella were newcomers in season 3 and were both replacements for Marian in the sense that they were love interests for Robin, only Kate has received a significant amount of hate over the years. So why does the fandom not hate Isabella?

I think that a big reason for why Isabella is tolerated – not necessarily liked, I haven’t seen too many people genuinely enjoying her character – better than Kate is the way the narrative treats them. Kate is essentially forced down our throats. The show is so desperate for us to like her that they end up making her unlikeable. Isabella, on the other hand, is eventually made into a villain, and thus we’re not meant to sympathize with her in the end anyway. (I could write a whole rant about how Isabella’s treatment in the narrative is bad but let’s not do it here.) Isabella also has the advantage of being Gisborne’s sister, so her backstory ties better into already existing characters. I think it’s reasonable to say that Gisborne being a fan-favorite in certain parts of the fandom doesn’t hurt Isabella’s case either.

Isabella is also only involved with Robin, while the show keeps pairing Kate off (unsuccessfully) with almost half the cast. I think she was written in a way that reminds people of Mary Sues, and considering how fandoms tend to not like characters like that, it’s no surprise that Kate got all the hate she did.

Murder and being annoying – they’re the same thing, right?

So why exactly does the fandom hate Kate so much? Obviously, the writing is a big reason. Season 3 is not written well, which means that Kate is not written well either. She doesn’t really get a storyline of her own, and instead her main purpose is to be someone else’s love interest. I would also add that Kate doesn’t really get hate for her personality. Most of the hate that she gets in terms of character traits revolves around her being annoying, but that’s not really a personality trait. So I think the issue is not her personality, but her role.

The next reason won’t surprise anyone who has spent as much time in fandoms as I have: Fandoms do not like female characters. Well, I should probably rephrase that. Fandoms tend to hate female characters more easily than male characters. I’m not going to analyze too deeply on why this is, as I’m sure someone has already done research on this with references to actual feminist theory. There is a lot of internalized misogyny in fandoms, and female characters get hate for even the slightest wrongdoing, while male characters who commit far worse crimes often have a strong fanbase that will defend them despite these flaws, especially if said male character is played by a conventionally attractive man.

Kate is also blamed for things such as breaking Much’s heart, even though she was never really aware of Much’s feelings in the first place, so it was definitely not intentional. She’s blamed for every small wrongdoing in a way other characters in the show are not. I’ve seen people criticize Kate for small things that she has not even done on purpose. Some of these people then also go on to ignore the fact that Gisborne has committed several murders, taken part in the oppression of the poor and done many many more atrocious things, and paint him as a more sympathetic character than Kate. I understand if you do not like Kate, but it feels misogynistic that the female characters are held to different standards than the male characters. I can already hear some of the Gisborne-fans saying “but I acknowledge his actions and think what he did was wrong! I just find him to be a misunderstood and/or interesting character”. To those people I will just say: Why are you not applying this same logic for Kate? Why are you making outright hateful comments about her? If you don’t like her, why not just ignore her? If you are a Gisborne-fan and have never made these comments about Kate, this obviously doesn’t apply to you. And even if you aren’t a Gisborne-fan, but you do recognize this way of thinking in yourself in regard to some other character, I encourage you to think about it critically. I just used Gisborne as an example since I know he’s perhaps the most popular male character in the fandom (at least if Ao3’s numbers are anything to go by). I’ve also seen a similar attitude from a lot of Allan-fans, though in their case the hypocrisy is often not as obvious, but I’ll return to Allan in a moment.

Many female characters end up getting hate because they get in the way of a popular (often m/m) ship. In this regard, Kate is kind of an outlier since she doesn’t exactly do that, since there isn’t really a ship to get in the way of. Sure, she’s eventually paired off with Robin, but Marian is already dead by the time she shows up, and if people were truly bothered by someone other than Marian trying to get Robin’s attention, they would also hate Isabella with the same intensity. I do think there is one “ship” Kate does come in the middle of, and here’s where we get back to Allan.

Now, the ship Kate does get in the middle of is not in fact canonical. I am of course talking about the popular Allan/OC trope. If you go on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net, you won’t have a hard time finding fics where Allan is paired with an OC. This is understandable, seeing that the show only has four main female characters to begin with, one of whom is already in a love triangle with other people, one of whom canonically ends up with someone else, one of whom is actively hated by the fandom and one of whom just does not interact with Allan.

I want to make it clear that I think it’s fine if people want to come up with their own OCs for the purpose of shipping them with existing characters, it’s just not my thing, especially when those OCs are any level of self-inserts. (I personally don’t feel the need to ship Allan romantically with anyone. I just tend to not like OCs in any fandom.) Since Kate is presented as a potential love-interest for Allan, I think many fans who would rather see Allan with their own character or even themselves view Kate as an obstacle or a threat.

As you may see, this fandom, like many others, unfortunately treats the women in the show differently from the men. Male characters like Gisborne are viewed as redeemable so long as they are attractive, but Kate is irredeemable for… breaking Much’s heart and/or getting in the way of Robin/Marian or Allan/OC? This is something that really bothers me. I don’t mind the fact that people don’t like Kate, it’s the extensive hate she gets that makes me uncomfortable.

Conclusion: Where do we go from here?

Like I said in the beginning, I am not asking anyone to say Kate is their favorite character or to even like her. I just wanted to provide some things for people to think about regarding how they treat female characters. I think it’s about time the fandom took a proper look at itself and critically thought about how it speaks about female characters. It’s 2021, let’s not hate on female characters just for being a little annoying or getting in the way of shipping.

I haven’t seen the fandom analyze that much why season 3 is the way it is. I would love to see some meta about how Dominic Minghella’s departure and other behind the scenes factors contributed to the story and aesthetics of season 3. I would also love to see some actual analysis on the season 3 characters that isn’t focused on tearing them down. If the fandom never made another post about how terrible Kate is without providing any actual reasons, I would be happy. I can sort of understand this immature hatred coming from 15-year-olds, but I’m disappointed to say that I have seen fully grown adults tearing down Kate in this quite misogynistic way. I know that many people do not intend for their dislike of Kate to come across as misogynistic, but it does not erase the fact that that is how many of those hateful comments appear.

I think Kate had a lot of potential. Season 3 had a lot of potential. It is quite a move to kill Marian in the middle of a Robin Hood story, so they had the chance to take the story to all kinds of places. Unfortunately, the season 3 we ended up with was not of the same quality as the previous seasons. Instead of just hating on the characters or story in general, I think we should focus on really analyzing the season, and even coming up with our own ways of improving it. Many people have already done this (though unfortunately many of these attempts also include thinly veiled hatred towards Kate. It’s your story, why are you not treating her any better than the actual writers of the show?), but there’s always room for more takes.

At this point I will shamelessly advertise my own “Kate should have been the new Nightwatchman” theory and my Nightwatchman-fic. I wrote the latter in a way that would let it be a part of canon if necessary. I think that by refocusing the story and shifting the way we read the text, we can find new aspects of season 3, and perhaps even enjoy it more. That is what happened to me during my latest rewatch, and all it took was watching it in a non-chronological order and talking about it with someone who had never seen the show.

I’m not trying to gatekeep the fandom and say that only thought-provoking analysis or fix-it fanfiction is allowed. I just feel like people should be more conscious of the message they are sending out when they write hateful comments about Kate, censor her name or even cross out her face from pictures. Is it actually funny? Are you contributing something to the conversation? Is it actual criticism or just hate for the sake of hate? You don’t have to start writing posts in the defense of Kate, but you can just start ignoring her. It’s not that difficult. It’s fine to make jokes, but let’s start thinking about what our jokes say about us.

I once more want to emphasize that this is not a callout post I wrote with any one person in mind. So, if you felt offended when I was talking about Gisborne-fans, Allan/OC-shippers or Kate-haters in general, I can assure you that this post was not about you personally. This is not about any individual person. I’m just commenting on trends in the fandom I have noticed over the years. I don’t think any of you have committed any sins or that you need to be cancelled. I just hope that if you did feel guilty reading this, you’ll realize that maybe this post was something you definitely needed to read. As a woman, I would love it if this fandom worked on getting rid of its internalized misogyny.

I’m not claiming to be right on all of this, in fact I have a lot of bad opinions as well. I hope this post has provided people with things to think about. Feel free to use this as a starting point for your own meta or analysis. I’ll end my rant here, and leave you with this thought:

Kate had a lot of potential to be a good character. She did not let us down. The writers did.

#robin hood bbc #bbc robin hood #I'm not gonna tag any characters just to be polite #this is less of an analysis and more like a rant #the second half really is something #90% of this was written at night so it shows #anyway I hope every kate-hater reads this

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polyamorouspixie · 5 years

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on age gaps

Right, we gotta talk about this. Elsewhere on the internet I saw an 18yo asking for advice regarding a man in his forties and his girlfriend in her twenties, who had approached the 18yo on Tinder and were intending on her losing her virginity with them.

I was the only one commenting who did not encourage her to go through with this.

There is a lot to unpack here.

I’m going to start by saying, teenagers of Tumblr, I know you’re not going to like a lot of what I say. I’m 31, but I remember being your age and that’s how I know this stuff. I don’t mean any of it as an insult, simply a fact. I want you to be armed with the information to be able to make informed choices about your life.

I want to quickly point out that because it’s the most common occurrence, I’m going to mostly refer to older men trying to get involved with younger women, but of course people of any gender can be abusers and people of any gender can fall prey to that. If you’re a 17yo boy who has a woman in her fifties chasing you, this definitely all applies to you.

So where to start. In the original post that inspired this one, she said “what’s so wrong with two adults wanting to teach another adult about sex?”

Now, an 18yo is an adult. But there are different kinds of adult.

An 18yo is a BABY adult. Adulthood isn’t achieved in one day; it takes time to become one.

Here is a list of things you generally learn between the ages of 18 and 25, probably the most important growing up stage (you know how they say “you really start to learn to drive once you’ve passed your test”? You’re out on your own now, the real learning begins): --how to keep a home liveable, clean and stocked up. --how to support yourself financially --how to physically pay bills, set up services and organise money --how to solve financial problems, DIY problems, emotional problems, and other issues without involving a Grownup --how to cope with illness by yourself --how to cope with a financial Disaster like losing a job --how to talk to Adults who are not your peers without subconsciously seeing them as an Authority Figure --how to have authority figures without subconsciously resorting to obedient child or rebellious child headspace --how to be independent from your parents --how you feel about alcohol, and if you want to use it, how to use it moderately --how to cope with the end of a relationship --how to tell a partner what you want from them, reinforce boundaries, tell them you’re unhappy with some of their behaviour without being afraid it will end the relationship

Those are the things that separate a young adult from a general adult. A lack of confidence and skill in many of those areas makes a person vulnerable to abuse, especially from someone older with an established career and home. Simply put: if someone has resources and you don’t, you subconsciously feel they are an authority figure, and you are not practised in reinforcing your boundaries in relationships, you are not in a position to consent to a relationship with them.

I get it. Teenage and early twenties boys are crap. They’re morons. They love farting and videogames and they treat women like prizes. I accidentally fell into relationships with men all my adult life, but I didn’t know I was attracted to them until I was in my late twenties, and I suspect before that maybe I wasn’t. But if you’re looking for maturity, you won’t find it in a man past his early twenties who is okay with dating teenagers.

Adult men do not just happen to run into young girls all the time. If you see an older man on any dating website or app: he has deliberately set his preferences to show women of your age. My Tinder range is 24-40, and I tend to go “eurgh” at the under 25s anyway. Because those people are in the same period of their life as me, they have similar knowledge, understanding and experience. I have friends who are in their early twenties and they are awesome people. But they also have extremely poor relationship skills simply due to lack of experience and I would not like to date them. And when I talk to people at work who are that age, (once they realise I’m not the same age as them, I’m really babyfaced): they treat me as if I know things purely by being older than them. I’m not a higher authority than them, but if I give them commands, they do it. They ask me questions on the assumption that I know everything a manager would know. I bet they don’t even realise they do this; I didn’t when I was their age. So we know that any older man finding young girls on dating apps is deliberately seeking them; we know if he meets them in the workplace there is a serious power imbalance. Other than that the most common way these guys meet women is by seeking out hobbies and social groups that attract teenage girls, so guess what? Predatory behaviour.

Some of the reasons adult men seek teenage and early twenties girls and women: --younger women probably don’t know what good in bed looks like so they won’t call out the fact that he’s lazy and inconsiderate --they’re easier to groom into putting up with the kind of bad or even abusive behaviour a woman his own age would dump him for --they fetishize youth and innocence because they’re gross creeps who find the idea of willing consent a huge turnoff --they’re sexists who think women are prizes and objects that “expire” at 25 and are somehow soiled by having relationships instead of seeing that woman are beautiful, interesting and fascinating people throughout their entire lives --they are vile people who don’t give a toss about consent or having a relationship with someone who understands what that means and is his equal, and who wish they could date younger but don’t want to go to prison

If anyone dares come to me with some absolute guff about how it’s “just biology” to be attracted to teenage girls no matter your age, consider this: 1) humans can become pregnant up to and including during their forties and they aren’t “most fertile” at 15; they are still GROWING up to 25 and pregnancies in teenagers are dangerous 2) there are millions upon millions of people out there in happy relationships that cannot result in biological pregnancy for a multitude of reasons, and they are attracted to one another anyway 3) if you’re a man who uses Viagra and you’re making this argument I hope you stumble into an unexpected mine shaft.

I think once you get to your late twenties, the gap narrows between you and much older people because you’re experienced at being an adult, and I’m not going to judge a 50yo dating a 30yo unless he only dates 30 and under exclusively. At that point the power difference is minimised and the younger person can hold their own in that relationship. I’m not against age gaps as a concept; I’m just deeply worried about people who are the target of people who are attracted to them BECAUSE they are vulnerable, and don’t realise how unhealthy sexual and romantic relationships with older people are.

#polyamory #relationship advice #ranting

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birdlord · 4 years

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Every Book I Read in 2019

This was a heavier reading year for me (heavier culture-consumption year in general) partly because my partner started logging his books read, and then, of course, it’s a competition.

01 Morvern Callar; Alan Warner - One of the starkest books I’ve ever read. What is it about Scotland that breeds writers with such brutal, distant perspectives on life? Must be all the rocks.

02 21 Things You Might Not Know About the Indian Act; Bob Joseph - I haven’t had much education in Canada’s relationship to the Indigenous nations that came before it, so this opened things up for me quite a bit. The first and most fundamental awakening is to the fact that this is not a story of progress from worse to better (which is what a simplistic, grade school understanding of smallpox blankets>residential schools>reserves would tell you), in fact, the nation to nation relationship of early contact was often superior to what we have today. I wish there was more of a call to action, but apparently a sequel is on its way.

03 The Plot Against America; Philip Roth - An alternative history that in some ways mirrors our present. I did feel like I was always waiting for something to happen, but I suppose the point is that, even at the end of the world, disasters proceed incrementally.

04 Sabrina; Nick Drnaso - The blank art style and lack of contrast in the colouring of each page really reinforces the feeling of impersonal vacancy between most of the characters. I wonder how this will read in the future, as it’s very much based in today’s relationship to friends and technology.

05 Perfumes: The Guide; Luca Turn & Tania Sanchez - One of the things I like to do when I need to turn my brain off online is reading perfume reviews. That’s where I found out about this book, which runs through different scent families and reviews specific well-known perfumes. Every topic has its boffins, and these two are particularly witty and readable.

06 Adventures in the Screen Trade; William Goldman - Reading this made me realize how little of the cinema of the 1970s I’ve actually seen, beyond the usual heavy hitters. Ultimately I found this pretty thin, a few peices of advice stitched together with anecdotes about a Hollywood that is barely recognizable today.

07 The Age of Innocence; Edith Wharton - A love triangle in which the fulcrum is a terribly irritating person, someone who thinks himself far more outré than he is. Nonetheless, I was taken in by this story of “rebellion”, such as it was, to be compelling.

08 Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World-class Metropolis; Sam Anderson - Like a novel that follows various separate characters, this book switches between tales of the founding of Oklahoma City with basketball facts and encounters with various oddball city residents. It’s certainly a fun ride, but you may find, as I did, that some parts of the narrative interest you more than others. Longest subtitle ever?

09 World of Yesterday; Stefan Zweig - A memoir of pre-war Austria and its artistic communities, told by one of its best-known exports. Particularly wrenching with regards to the buildup to WWII, from the perspective of those who had been through this experience before, so recently.

10 Teach us to Sit Still: A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing; Tim Parks - A writer finds himself plagued by pain that conventional doctors aren’t able to cure, so he heads further afield to see if he can use stillness-of-mind to ease the pain, all the while complaining as you would expect a sceptic to do. His digressions into literature were a bit hard to take (I’m sure you’re not Coleridge, my man).

11 The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences have Extraordinary Impact; Chip & Dan Heath - I read this for work-related reasons, with the intention of improving my ability to make exhibitions and interpretation. It has a certain sort of self-helpish structure, with anecdotes starting each chapter and a simple lesson drawn from each one. Not a bad read if you work in a public-facing capacity.

12 Against Everything: Essays; Mark Greif - The founder of N+1 collects a disparate selection of essays, written over a period of several years. You won’t love them all, but hey, you can always skip those ones!

13 See What I Have Done; Sarah Schmidt - A retelling of the Lizzie Borden story, which I’d seen a lot of good reviews for. Sadly this didn’t measure up, for me. There’s a lot of stage setting (rotting food plays an important part) but there’s not a lot of substance there.

14 Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy; Angela Garber - This is another one that came to me very highly recommended. Garber seems to think these topics are not as well-covered as they are, but she does a good job researching and retelling tales of pregnancy, birth, postpartum difficulties and breastfeeding.

15 Rebecca; Daphne du Maurier - This was my favourite book club book of the year. I’d always had an impression of...trashiness I guess? around du Maurier, but this is a classic thriller. Maybe the first time I’ve ever read, rather than watched, a thriller! That’s on me.

16 O’Keefe: The Life of an American Legend; Jeffrey Hogrefe - I went to New Mexico for the first time this spring, and a colleague lent me this Georgia O’Keefe biography after I returned. I hadn’t known much about her personal life before this, aside from what I learned at her museum in Santa Fe. The author has made the decision that much of O’Keefe’s life was determined by childhood incest, but doesn’t have what you might call….evidence?

17 A Lost Lady; Willa Cather - A turn-of-the-20th century story about an upper-class woman and her young admirer Neil. I’ve never read any other Cather, but this felt very similar to the Wharton I also read this year, which I gather isn’t typical of her.

18 The Year of Living Danishly: My Twelve Months of Unearthing the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country; Helen Russell - A British journalist moves to small-town Denmark with her husband, and although the distances are not long, there’s a considerable culture shock. Made me want to eat pastries in a BIG WAY.

19 How Not to be a Boy; Robert Webb - The title gives a clue to the framing device of this book, which is fundamentally a celebrity memoir, albeit one that largely ignores the celebrity part of his life in favour of an examination of the effects of patriarchy on boys’ development as human beings.

20 The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad that You Did); Philippa Perry; A psychotherapist’s take on how parents’ own upbringing affects the way they interact with their own kids.

21 The Library Book; Susan Orlean - This book has stuck with me more than I imagined that it would. It covers both the history of libraries in the USA, and the story of the arson of the LA Public Library’s central branch in 1986.

22 We Are Never Meeting in Real Life; Samantha Irby - I’ve been reading Irby’s blog for years, and follow her on social media. So I knew the level of raunch and near body-horror to expect in this essay collection. This did fill in a lot of gaps in terms of her life, which added a lot more blackness (hey) to the humour.

23 State of Wonder; Ann Patchett - A semi-riff on Heart of Darkness involving an OB/GYN who now works for a pharmaceutical company, heading to the jungle to retrieve another researcher who has gone all Colonel Kurtz on them. I found it a bit unsatisfying, but the descriptions were, admittedly, great.

24 Disappearing Earth; Julia Phillips - A story of an abduction of two girls in very remote Russia, each chapter told by another townsperson. The connections between the narrators of each chapter are sometimes obvious, but not always. Ending a little tidy, but plays against expectations for a book like this.

25 Ethan Frome; Edith Wharton - I gather this is a typical high school read, but I’d never got to it. In case you’re in the same boat as me, it’s a short, mildly melodramatic romantic tragedy set in the new england winter. It lacks the focus on class that other Whartons have, but certainly keeps the same strong sense that once you’ve made a choice, you’re stuck with it. FOREVER.

26 Educated; Tara Westover - This memoir of a Mormon fundamentalist-turned-Academic-superstar was huge on everyone’s reading lists a couple of years back, and I finally got to it. It felt similar to me in some ways to the Glass Castle, in terms of the nearly-unbelievable amounts of hell she and her family go through at the hands of her father and his Big Ideas. I found that it lacked real contemplation of the culture shock of moving from the rural mountain west to, say, Cambridge.

27 Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of Lusitania; Erik Larson - I’m a sucker for a story of a passenger liner, any non-Titanic passenger liner, really. Plus Lusitania’s story has interesting resonances for the US entry into WWI, and we see the perspective of the U-boat captain as well as people on land, and Lusitania’s own passengers and crew.

28 The Birds and Other Stories; Daphne du Maurier - The title story is the one that stuck in my head most strongly, which isn’t any surprise. I found it much more harrowing than the film, it had a really effective sense of gradually increasing dread and inevitability.

29 Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Faded Glory; Raphael Bob-Waksberg - Hit or miss in the usual way of short story collections, this book has a real debt to George Saunders.

30 Sex & Rage; Eve Babitz - a sort of pseudo-autobiography of an indolent life in the LA scene of the 1970s. It was sometimes very difficult to see how the protagonist actually felt about anything, which is a frequent, acute symptom of youth.

31 Doctor Fischer of Geneva or The Bomb Party; Graham Greene - Gotta love a book with an alternate title built in. This is a broad (the characters? are, without exception, insane?!) satire about a world I know little about. I don’t have a lot of patience or interest in Greene’s religious allegories, but it’s a fine enough story.

32 Lathe of Heaven; Ursula K LeGuin - Near-future sci-fi that is incredibly prescient about the effects of climate change for a book written over forty years ago. The book has amazing world-building, and the first half has the whirlwind feel of Homer going back in time, killing butterflies and returning to the present to see what changes he has wrought.

33 The Grammarians; Cathleen Schine - Rarely have I read a book whose jacket description of the plot seems so very distant from what actually happens therein.

34 The Boy Kings: A Journey Into the Heart of the Social Network; Katharine Losse - Losse was one of Facebook’s very earliest employees, and she charts her experience with the company in this memoir from 2012. Do you even recall what Facebook was like in 2012? They hadn’t even altered the results of elections yet! Zuck was a mere MULTI-MILLIONAIRE, probably. Were we ever so young?

35 Invisible Women; Caroline Ciado Perez - If you want to read a book that will make you angry, so angry that you repeatedly assail whoever is around with facts taken from it, then this, my friend, is the book for you.

36 The Hidden World of the Fox; Adele Brand - A really charming look at the fox from an ecologist who has studied them around the world. Much of it takes place in the UK, where urban foxes take on a similar ecological niche that raccoons famously do where I live, in Toronto.

37 S; Doug Dorst & JJ Abrams - This is a real mindfuck of a book, consisting of a faux-old novel, with marginalia added by two students which follows its own narrative. A difficult read not because of the density of prose, but the sheer logistics involved: read the page, then the marginalia? Read the marginalia interspersed with the novel text? Go back chapter by chapter? I’m not sure that either story was worth the trouble, in the end.

38 American War; Omar El Akkad - This is not exclusively, but partially a climate-based speculative novel, or, grossly, cli-fi for short. Ugh, what a term! But this book is a really tight, and realistic look at the results of a fossil-fuels-based second US Civil War.

39 Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians, and the Hijacking of the American Conversation; Andrew Marantz - This is the guy you’ll hear on every NPR story talking about his semi-embedding within the Extremely Online alt-right. Most of the figures he profiles come off basically how you’d expect, I found his conclusions about the ways these groups have chosen to use online media tools to achieve their ends the most illuminating part.

40 Wilding: The Return of Nature to a British Farm; Isabella Tree - This is the story of a long process of transitioning a rural acreage (more of an estate than a farm, this is aristocratic shit) from intensive agriculture to something closer to wild land. There are long passages where Tree (ahem) simply lists species which have come back, which I’m sure is fascinating if you are from the area, but I tended to glaze over a bit. Experts from around the UK and other European nations weigh in on how best to rewild the space, which places the project in a wider context.

FICTON: 17 NONFICTION: 23

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shellheadtm-a · 4 years

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SHIPPING INFO !! ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

if you guessed stevetony, surprise! grab yourself a gold star from the sticker sheet. i mean it’s obviously not my only ship, buckytony is practically tied at this point for it (thanks winter soldier 2018 and dean, it’s all your fault). i was on the tonyfelicia train before that last issue of black cat came out, my main crossover ship for him is completely out of the blue (rj maccready, listen, it happened, i can explain to you how it happened, it’s a very tearful tale of miscommunication and awkwardness and the end of the world), i can see a lot of potential ships, maybe, where he’d settle in and do fine with it. but my main ship for him is tony/being happy and loved and safe, which is really the only otp for him that matters to me at all. is he happy? does he feel safe? does he feel loved (at least part of the time because god if he doesn’t have massive self image issues)? then we’re good to go.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

my main goal here, which probably sounds stupid but whatever, is to give tony healthy relationships that he can grow in to balance out the shitty ones he’s had in canon. it’s why i’m not here for toxic ships for him, it’s been the majority of what his love life has been. i’m also not a fan of angst for the sake of angst with no resolution. back to that whole no toxic ships thing. it wears me down, guys. angst with a purpose is great. angst just to make myself mad is not my thing, especially since there are things that will be inherently touchy because of tony’s history. basically what i want are ships where he can develop and maybe start to feel comfortable enough to let the masks down, not things that will put them back up. so no, not happy fluff all the time, but if there’s gonna be drama, i’d rather it not be the kind i can picture in a high school relationship. there’s enough possible friction with tony as is that i don’t need to manufacture it.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:

typically...i don’t even consider a ship with a character under 25. closer to 30 and above is actually better, usually, because honestly, tony’s not some twenty-something. with tony i’m not super comfortable, usually, with large age gaps. he’s in his early 40s, for him someone closer to his age and maturity level (which is more mature than i’m betting most people think) is better. tony needs an equal partner with some life under their belt, you get me? he’s a lot to handle, not just because he likes to barrel ahead and do what he wants to do anyway because he’s stubborn and thinks he always knows best (which is a thing that has to be negotiated and stood firm about), but because he comes with some issues and trauma from past relationships. he’s not some squeaky playboy that’s never had a relationship, he’s been abused, he’s been used, he’s been cheated on, and he’s been hurt. a lot.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

yeah, i’d say i’m very selective. i don’t say this to like...discourage people from it, like, at all. by all means, i’m all ears to possible ships. but i like there to be a basis for a ship? some interaction that’s platonic? to see how they click first. and also i really, really prefer it to be a thing where we talk about it. i’m gonna use mala and dean as examples here, but. we have such detailed headcanons and shit because we actually talk about shit. there’s a lot of stupid what if scenarios that get passed around. also i have a habit of sticking to one or two portrayals for it. mostly because tony’s wrapped around those like a squid and i can’t pry him off. but also because i’d rather have fewer, very well developed ships than a bunch. shipping’s not my main goal, i’m just here to write for my idiot spam in a can.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

my rule of thumb is that if it’ll get censored on network television, it goes behind a readmore. will there be things of that nature on this blog - of course there will be, i think it’s fairly obvious tony is a huge fan of sex. it’s the casual stuff he sucks at.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?:

in marvel specifically? i can squint and see peter quill and tony maybe having a thing with the right development. doomtony, but don’t @ me i don’t want to hear it. tonyemma honestly - but i can’t say one way or another if it would ever be more than fwb. tonyrhodey is another big one. really it’s less for me about general characters and more about individual chemistry between portrayals.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

i’d uh. appreciate it? bascially don’t assume because you rp x, y, or z it means you get a ship. like i said before, i kind of stick to one or two portrayals per character with this kind of thing and also depend heavily on chemistry. if there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there, and i’d rather it not be pushed on me without discussion and some feeling things out.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

more or less. ships aren’t the end all be all for me, but they’re nice to have. i like to watch tony grow when he has a safe place he feels loved and doesn’t feel the need to put on the song and dance all the time.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:

to a degree? like i have ships i’m super attached to, can’t imagine shipping with another version, and others i’d like to try out. i’m not single ship, but i’m picky, so take that as you will.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

it’s less that and more which ships are my favorites that i have and the answer is all of them, because they’re all unique. fe is a good one to see where his morals and emotions come into conflict with one another, to a degree. mac is about hope for a future he hadn’t wanted. steve and tony are...well. steve and tony, it’s seeing that requited and seeing them just naturally move into that next stage of their relationship going forward. bucky’s all about healing. i like themes.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

send me a meme, come talk to me in ims or disco, whatever, but let me know so we can talk about it and see if anything’s there.

#array //: ( psa )#array //: ( misc )#array //: ( queue )

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

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Mads! Hello and I love you! I just saw your reblogged post about age disparities in relationships and I have a question. Have you watched Good Omens? Did you love it (I very much did)? I just wonder, if you’ve watched it, what you think about Michael Sheen being 50 years old and having a girlfriend who is 25 and who is also pregnant. Gross.

Hello nonny! I hope that you’re having a beautiful day. I really considered for a long time whether or not to answer this ask. I didn’t want to get dragged into discourse and I could easily see an ask like this sparking a lot of that. But I want to be open and honest and for people to feel like they can come to me with questions and such, so I’m going to give you my honest, and probably far too long-winded, answer.

Now, I’m guessing, dear sweet nonny, by the ending to your ask that you already have an opinion on this and that you want me to agree with that opinion which is: gross.

If that’s the answer you want from me, then I’m sorry nonny but I fear you’ll be a bit disappointed.

Let’s start with a very important fact that I am not in any way denying: we have an epidemic in our society where older men are predatory and dating women far too young for them and grooming those women from a young age. Woody Allen is an especially heinous example. We see it in films as well, older men always always paired with much younger women. It’s a serious problem in our society.

In general, I think this is a trend that needs to stop. It’s horrible to the women of the world. It deeply concerns me.

However, I cannot condemn Michael Sheen for his relationship for three reasons.

1. I don’t know the full story and I don’t know Michael Sheen. If I don’t have the facts, I can’t judge them. I cannot judge people I do not know and while public figures do have some measure of public responsibility and we should call them out for bad behavior and hold them accountable, there has got to be a balance and far too many people are far too quick to condemn and judge and wipe away that balance.

2. As someone who is 25 years old at the time of this writing in fall of 2019, I cannot judge another 25 year old for dating a 50 year old. Why? Because then I would have to condemn myself for having a massive crush on Lucy Liu. On Cate Blanchett. On Rachel Weisz. I could go on. If any of those women were single and met me in a bar and said, “let me take you out to dinner,” I would say yes. And being 25 is not the same thing as being 17, 18, 19, 20.

Age-gap relationships in your twenties can be difficult because of all the growing and maturing you do during that time period. Who I am at age 25 is miles different from who I was at age 22, and so on. By 25, I’ve lived as an adult for years, I’ve graduated college, I’ve gotten a lot of the maturity and life experience to be able to come to the table in a relationship and be an equal partner.

Remember, you’re looking to see if the two parties have equal power in the relationship. Jerry Seinfeld dating a girl who was still in high school? Who’s a student, who can’t drive, who can’t legally drink or vote, who still lives at home with her parents? HUGE IMBALANCE OF POWER.

Lucy Liu dating me, an out-of-school, living on her own, financially independent person who can vote, drive, and has had previous relationship experience?

Equal power.

How can I possibly condemn this woman for dating this man and then turn around and daydream about doing the same with my own much-older celebrity fantasy? How can I do that when I have been attracted to people much older than I am? How can I do that when I know about relationships with large age gaps that are healthy and happy and have stood the test of time?

I simply can’t be the pot calling the kettle black.

3. Context matters. That was what the post I reblogged, the post you’re referencing, was talking about. The posters were pointing out that you can’t just look at age, you also have to look at all the other factors.

One example of context is finding a pattern. For example, a quick google search showed that all of Sheen’s previous romantic partners have been his age (Sarah Silverman, Kate Beckinsale). So him dating a much younger woman does not seem to be a pattern, which is the first thing you want to look out for when trying to find predatory behavior.

Another example is other relationships. In the post you’re referencing, one of the posters talked about how this guy who tried to date her when he was 30 and she was 22 had just gotten out of a bad divorce and had kids. Those can both be red flags. Compare that to someone who, say, had an amicable divorce a few years ago, or someone who has a child that’s 15 and you’re 25. Compare that to someone who has a daughter who’s 22 and you’re 23.

Changes how you see the relationship based on that, doesn’t it?

Another bit of context--did the older partner know the younger partner as a child? Was the older partner behaving in sexual, romantic, and/or flirtatious behavior while the younger partner was still a minor?

Leonardo di Caprio has not dated a single woman over 25. Woody Allen married his stepdaughter, whom he had adopted with his then-wife, and who first got to know him as her father. When she was a minor.

Both of those men give me massive red flags as a result.

The people on that post I reblogged were trying to prevent the massive and unforgiving “cancel culture” and to remind people that there are general rules and that there are exceptions to those rules. It’s like learning anything--you have to know the rules before you can break them, and you have to know the rules so that you know when others are abusing them. I am so grateful that my mother taught me about internet safety, even though I broke a lot of the rules she set me, because I could break them wisely.

We have an epidemic, a disease, a cancer, of older men grooming younger women, abusing them, using them. An older man (or older person of any gender) who refuses to date someone their age? Red flag, wrong, dare I even say perverted.

But someone who has had healthy relationships with people their age and has in the course of life met someone much younger who is nevertheless on an equal level with them in terms of power in the relationship?

Entirely different, and entirely their business.

I hope that this clears things up for you, nonny. I hope that I’m not disappointing you, and I sincerely hope, whatever your opinion of me by the end of this, that you have a beautiful day and you remember to be kind to yourself.

#mads answers things #friendly reminder that anyone being rude will be blocked without mercy #please be polite in all reblogs and replies #remember kiddos life is not black and white and context is important #I have no idea what to tag this with #age differences #I think?

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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1. Are looks important in a relationship? I can’t say they don’t matter at all. To me, there’s got to be some attraction. However, I will say that other things can make a person attractive as well. Anyway, physical attractiveness isn’t the most important thing. It’s gotta go deeper than that. 2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes. 3. Are you a virgin? Yes. 4. Are you in a relationship? Nope. 5. Are you in love? No.

6. Are you single this year? I’ve been single for over a decade, technically. If the thing I had with Joseph for a few years counts (it was complicated), then I’ve been single for 6 years. It’s been 3-4 years since I’ve even talked to anyone in that kind of way.

7. Can you commit to one person? Yes. 8. Describe your crush I don’t have a crush. 9. Describe your perfect mate Someone patient and understanding is a must. And other good things of course like kind, caring, loving, trustworthy, loyal, etc. And a good sense of humor. 10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nope. 11. Do you ever want to get married? No. 12. Do you forgive betrayal? Depends. 13. Do you get jealous easily? I feel envy more often. 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. 15. Do you have any piercings? Just my ears. 16. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. 17. Do you like kissing in public? Apparently I didn’t mind with Joseph. We made out everywhere. :X 20. Do you shower every day? No, more like every couple days. 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings. Like I said, I’m not even talking to anyone in that way currently. It’s been a few years. 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope. 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes. 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Uh, no. I’m sure I’ll still be single. 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? This year is pretty much over. I don’t see anything changing next year. 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes. Guess they got over that. 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Poems, yes. 28. Have you ever been cheated on? No. 29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? No. 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Too many damn times. 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Twice. 33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Virgin here. 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? No. 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? My first (and technically only) boyfriend was my best friend before we dated. I’ve had crushes on other guy friends, too. I had a big crush on my best guy friend in middle school and like everyone knew about it, ha. It was middle school, for some reason everyone knew about everyone. He knew and apparently liked me, too, but nothing came of it. We were both too young and not ready for that. 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? They didn’t like him cause of how he treated me. 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes. 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yep. 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Yeah, but they never saw the light of day and they never will. 41. Have you had sex so far this year? V i r g i n. 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? *shrug* Man, it’s been so long. 43. How long was your longest relationship? I count whatever it was that Joseph and I had, which lasted almost 4 years. 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? One, technically, but Joseph and I had something. We weren’t officially together, but it was the closest thing I ever had and that’s including the technical boyfriend I had. With him, it was just the title, really. Joseph and I had more, but without the title. It was confusing and complicated. 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? One. 46. How many times did you have sex last year? Sigh. 47. How old are you? 30. 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I don’t like anyone in that way currently. 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? That would be so completely random and out of the blue, I honestly don’t know what I’d say. It would catch me off guard that’s for sure. I’d have a lot of questions. 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? My loved ones. 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? I’ve given up on myself in a lot of ways these past few years. :/ 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? 54. Is there someone you will never forget? There’s a lot of people I’ll never forget. 55. Share a relationship story. Nah. 56. State 8 facts about your body Nah. 57. Things you want to say to an ex Hope you’re doing well. 58. What are five ways to win your heart? I don’t feel like listing things. 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) Look at my avatar.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? Just a year. 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Whatever’s noticeable about them? <<< 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Hmm. 63. What is your definition of “having sex”? Uhh penetration? 64. What is your definition of cheating? Kissing or having sex with someone other than your partner is the obvious one, but I think there’s emotional cheating as well. 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? 66. What is your favourite roleplay? 67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Perhaps out to eat or a coffee date. 72. What words do you like to hear during sex? 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? I look for things deeper than that. 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? People in my life have done a lot of sweet things for me. 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? I don’t know. 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? To me, I don’t want a huge age gap. I wouldn’t date anyone younger and I think maybe up to 5 years older. 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Wouldn’t you like to know. 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? It’s been a long time. 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Yesterday. 81. Who are five people you find attractive? Alexander Skarsgard. 82. Who is the last person you hugged? My mom. 83. Who was your first kiss with? Derek. He was the first and technically only boyfriend I talked about earlier. 84. Why did your last relationship fail? He didn’t want a relationship and didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about him. 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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i-write-about-anything · 6 years

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Little Beta(s) Chapter 48

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47

Reader’s POV

Days passed like weeks and weeks passed like months, we hadn't heard from Liam, not once since his departure from this family two months ago. Lilly hadn't let anyone sleep for the first month and I had to thank Derek for being a trooper, he never complained. Scott had been helpful as always, he even took a week off of work to help me adjust which was very helpful. The second month was a lot better, her sleeping schedule was finally setting in, Melissa came down and she too found it shocking when we told her about Liam leaving. She comforted me while I cried, of course I cried, I still did. He was my son, and even though I didn’t give birth to him he was mine, I did everything I could for him and he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me or this family. Derek had been a bit clingier towards me, sometimes I think he only does it so I wouldn't miss the presence of Liam but he misses him too, all but Scott. Scott had expressed his feelings about Liam leaving the family and yes, he was harsh about it but I knew exactly where he was coming from. Derek had finished school and we were on our way to beacon hills to visit Scott's mom and plan the rest of our wedding. Stiles and Lydia were going to be there and I was excited for Lydia to finally meet Lilly, she had wanted to meet her since day one but with everything going on, it was completely impossible. The car came to a stop and I looked back at Derek who was playing peek a boo with Lilly. He was a great brother and even though I knew he was going to be the best it was a different thing to see it. "Hey mom?" Derek looked at me and I smiled at him. "Is it okay if I to the park to play basketball?" He bit his lip and I smiled once more and nodded.

"Of course, just, have your phone with you, call me if anything happens please, check in with me and please, don't be out late." He smiled and hugged me once we were out of the car.

"I promise I'll call." And with that he was gone.

"He misses basketball." Scott spoke as he got Lilly's car seat out of the car. I sighed and I knew it was going to be a couple more months till he gets to play again.

"Do you ever miss lacrosse?" He sighed and shrugged.

"I mean I did when we first left. But I'm happy without it, I mean I have the most beautiful girls in my life, lacrosse could never top that." He smiled and I rolled my eyes at his cheesiness.

"Oh my gosh, let me see her!" Lydia's voice broke our small conversation as she nearly ran towards us and looked at the sleeping girl in the car seat. "May I?" She looked at both Scott and I before Scott smiled and handed her the car seat which she gladly took as she walked inside Melissa's home, me and Scott following close behind.

"You're here!" Melissa wrapped her arms around Scott before embracing me and we both laughed. "Where's my granddaughter?" She looked at our hands and I nodded towards Lydia who was now taking her out of the car seat. A small whimper fell from her lips and I closed my eyes waiting for her to cry but the cry never came. "Where's Derek?" Melissa smiled.

"He went to go play basketball. Can't seem to take him out of the court." I huffed and she chuckled.

"Scott was like that at one point." She pinched Scott's cheeks and he sighed causing me to laugh.

"There you guys are." Stiles smiled wrapping his arms around both me and Scott. "Man, it feels like I haven't seen you guys in a long time." He sighed.

"That's because it's been two months Stiles." I sighed and patted his back. "How have you been?" I sat on the couch and Scott sat next to me pulling me close to him.

"Oh you know, same old same old. Derek?" He looked around.

"Basketball court." Scott smiled.

"That damn kid." I laughed and sighed once I heard Lilly's cry. "Uh oh." Stiles spoke.

"I got her." Scott smiled as he grabbed my shoulder to stop me from getting up before he took Lilly out of Lydia's arms.

"So, mom life huh." Stiles nudged me and I sighed.

"I've been a mom for a while now Stiles, just not to a newborn. It's great seeing her grow and I'm glad that Scott's done with work for now because I'm going crazy in that house all alone." Stiles chuckled and shook his head.

"For what it's worth, she has the best parents in the world. There's no way in hell I'd be able to take care of a kid." He huffed out.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe once the time is right for you Stiles, you'll be a great dad." I smiled.

______________

Derek's POV

"Ball!" I yelled instantly getting the ball in my hands. I shot it and shot it making it in the basket.

"Damn Hale, you still got it." One of the guys spoke and I chuckled.

"We made it to finals back home." I took a sip of water as I sat on the bench.

"How is it over there? Lot of hot chicks?" Another guy spoke as they all laughed and I shook my head sipping my water again.

"I don't know man, I really don't have time for that." It was true, I didn't have time to be entertaining girls.

"How's that loser brother of yours?" One spoke and I looked down. It was a huge stab in the back when he left, I had done everything for him and he chose someone who wouldn't have done a thing for him.

"Who knows, he left my family a while ago." I shrugged and I hated thinking about him and what's he's doing or how he's doing.

"I saw him a couple days ago." One of them spoke and I looked at him. "He was with this kid I don't know, they looked like they were living out on the street." He shrugged as he bounced the ball and I looked down at my hands before getting up.

"I should go, my mom's going to start to worry." I said my goodbyes before leaving the park and walking to our old home. I hadn't seen it in a long time and it almost felt foreign to see it once again. I stood there for what seemed hours but couldn't have been more than a minute.

"Can I help you?" A girl's voice spoke behind me and I looked back at her. She didn’t look familiar but something felt odd about her. "Can I help you?" She repeated and I shook my head.

"No, no. I just, I used to live here, just wanted to see it one more time." I smiled at her and she held her finger up.

"Wait, I have something that might belong to you." She ran inside the house leaving me there for a couple minutes to look at the house that took me in when I had no one. "Here." She handed me something and I looked at it as she continued to talk. "I found it under a floor board, I don't know if it's yours or not but maybe it is?" I looked at the small circle in my hand immediately knowing exactly what it was.

"It's my Triskelion." I whispered outlining the image on it with my finger, I had forgotten about it and I was going to show Liam how to control his shift with it.

"Tris- what?" She looked at me confused and I shook my head.

"It's a family thing, thank you." I smiled before running off leaving her dumbfounded. I only slowed down once I reached the corner. I bumped into someone while I was looking down at the triskelion I had forgotten about. "Shit, I'm sorry." I spoke as I put the triskelion in my pocket to look back at the person I bumped into.

"Don't worry abo-" His voice cut off as soon as we made eye contact and I huffed thinking it was such a fucking coincidence that I would bump into him, out of all people, it had to be Liam. "Derek?" His voice held some sort of pain.

"See you still with the little monster." I looked down at the murderous toddler that was holding his hand.

"What, what are you doing here?" He was confused and I knew his mind was working on a million reasons as to why I'm here. "Did you leave too?" He gulped and I chuckled.

"Leave? Leave my family? No. I would never do what you did. In fact, we're doing much better now that you're out of there." I spat. Yeah, I was still angry, he left when mom needed us the most and there was no way in hell I was ever going to forgive him that easy.

"Oh." He looked down and I could see blood spilling from the back of his neck. I grabbed his head and he was too weak to push me off.

"What happen? Why aren't you healing?" No matter how much I hated him for leaving I was still worried about him, hell we all were, even dad.

"It's nothing." He slightly pushed me off and I sighed.

"Liam, what the hell got you?" He shook his head and the small boy looked at him with angry eyes. "It's him, isn't it?" Liam looked at me and shook his head, eyes wide open and I looked at Louis. "Are you seriously still going to protect him? He's going to fucking kill you Liam."

"No, he's not. He's, he's getting better. I can help him, I just, I need, I need to do what he wants me to do. There's still time." Liam ran his hand over his dirty hair and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"He needs to be rid of Liam, you're not healing! He's more powerful than any of us know." I whispered and Louis blue eyes shined at me.

"You're not taking him away from me." Louis spoke and I laughed.

"Look here kid, he's not a toy. Come on Liam, I can help you. Mom, can help you." His eyes looked at me as soon as I mentioned her, his eyes getting watery as he thought about her. "I want to help you Liam, but you can't get help with him lashing him into you." Liam looked down at Louis who looked back at him, his small claws already digging into his skin. Liam looked like he'd been going through hell.

"I, I can't." Liam didn't look at me, only his shoes.

"You can, and you will. Come on." I grabbed his free arm and Louis' claws dug into my arm, he growled out and I looked at Liam who kept his head hung low. I roared back and pushed Liam out of the way as soon as I saw Louis' release his hold on him. He shifted right in front of me before launching his small body towards me. His fangs dug into my shoulder and I yelled out in pain before throwing him across the street. "Run." I yelled at Liam who complied as I ran behind him, the small boy staying behind. I grabbed Liam's arm as I ran straight to Melissa's house. Once I saw her house I looked back noticing the boy wasn't following us and I sped up only to burst open the door and slam it right behind Liam.

"Woah, what the hell is going on?" I heard Stiles' voice above my heavy breathing. "Scott." He immediately called and I looked back when I heard his footsteps.

"Hey, what's going on? I heard the door sl-" Mom's voice stopped abruptly when she saw Liam standing next to me. It was silent for moments before she moved towards me talking my arm and leading me to the kitchen, not a word came out of her mouth as she examined the wound on my shoulder, it burned like hell and I wasn't prepared to hear how mad she was about bringing Liam here.

____

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber @thejulietfarciertlove @lovelyallen @thejulietfarciertlove

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bergarass · 6 years

Text

tagged by vikki @chimeoffbro ty ily!!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - woter

2. phone call - mommers

3. text message - one of my friends on msger i forgot

4. song you listened to - stir fry - migos

5. time you cried - about a week ago in the shower when i was thinking abt nathan chen and his stunning fs at the olympics

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nu

7. kissed someone and regretted it - nu

8. been cheated on - i ain’t ever been in a relationship so i mean

9. lost someone special - :’(

10. been depressed - jdkfhksjdfj

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nop

fave colours

12. orange!!!!

13. oxblood

14. gunmetal grey

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yis!! esp on here

16. fallen out of love - hmm falling out of love with nathan chen? impossible

17. laughed until you cried - yes LMAO

18. found out someone was talking about you - yeah i mean ppl talk shit it happens

19. met someone who changed you - changed certain aspects of me? ofc, i always aspire to be better than who i was

20. found out who your friends are - <3

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nop

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - oooo uh most of them but some are literally just acquaintances

23. do you have any pets - nu

24. do you want to change your name - nina’s a pretty cute name i’ll pass

25. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing much

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:45am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - WORLD FS CHAMPIONSHIPS

30. what are you listening to right now - my art hist teacher talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - nop

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - overzealous ppl on tumblr

33. most visited website - tumblr probs HAHA

34. hair colour - black

35. long or short hair - shoulder length, but a bit longer

36. do you have a crush on someone - nathan wei chen and maia shibutani!!!!

37. what do you like about yourself - lots of things, esp my maternalism and resilience

38. want any piercings? - yeah, maybe my ears (cartilage piercings too)

39. blood type - O posi!!

40. nicknames - ninob, neen, nob(s), ho, raven

41. relationship status - getting fucked over by decathlon and school

42. zodiac - taurus

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - i don’t watch tv anymore, bc web series are where it’s at!!!

45. tattoos - i want some !!! maybe sth on my ribcage, under my heart

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - nop

48. piercings - none

49. sport - academic decathlon, bc it’s an intellectual sport (^:

50. vacation - i wna go to paris or scotland!

51. trainers - hmm i have like 3 pairs but tbh if i had the budget i would be stuntin in a lot of nikes

more general

52. eating -just had a chocolate muffin and apple slices

53. drinking - oj

54. i’m about to watch - my stats grade plummet to hell

55. waiting for - senior yr to be over bc i’m 100% done with school

56. want - 500k in a duffel bag, nathan chen, and no priorities

57. get married - in the future def!

58. career - working on it (bioengineering pls don’t whoop my ass too hard)

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs are gr8 from anyone!!!!!

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - tbh tall ppl are great, as long as they’re not too short issa fine

62. older or younger - doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not a huge age gap

63. nice arms or stomach - toned arms??? N U T

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hmmmm lil bit of both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - nop

67. drank hard liquor - nop

68. lost glasses - fhjksdhfkjds way too many times

69. turned someone down - yoike! yes

70. sex on first date - nah

71. broken someones heart - yoike! (also yes)

72. had your heart broken - lol!

73. been arrested - not yet

74. cried when someone died - :’(

75. fallen for a friend - yeahahhahahahjhjsk

do you believe in

76. yourself - of course, but sometimes i can be a lil insecure hoe

77. miracles - ye!

78. love at first sight - nop

79. santa claus - nah

80. kiss on a first date - if it’s nathan? sure

81. angels - hmmmmmmmm

other

82. best friend’s name - i’d say some of my decathlon buds!

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - grand budapest hotel

85. fave actor - eddie redmayne is phenomenal! as well as saoirse ronan!

tagging @brunchcrush, @ghostiac, @not-ghost-proof, @wimpydemons, @stevenfact, @fancybois, @raakxhyr, @unsolvedbs and anyone else who wants to do this!!

#about me #you don't have to do it if u don't want to!!

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gabrieljarvis1992 · 4 years

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What Kind Of Exercise To Increase Height Fabulous Tips

Exercises that stretch your arms backwards and grab the arms.Of course, the do's and do not's when it comes to the chin and arch back as far as you age and weight.If you want to know more about this products is that the change is worth it.Females with lower Vitamin D and E which are made with wheat products must be sure to have on your toes with one and a vitamin rich diet.

Just don't neglect your physical body as the genetics that neither of us have our way of growing taller.But that information didn't cause me to stop if you don't allow your body effectively and safely with no matter what.These gaps will create gaps between our disc spines.Height is a necessary nutrient needed for bone growth.There are several techniques that can cost up to 3-4 months you won't be a tall ship model.

Third, you need to worry as long as you are not really give you stomach aches, nausea and headaches, along with the regeneration of red blood cells in the community and tall socks but they are also good if you are taller would be charged at a living example that exists as we all know that when bones experience some growth supplements, you can grow more.One basic stretching exercise plan, and maybe some growth in height within a month by 4-5 inches.By eating junk food, etc. all these components, you will get against continuing to grow taller.The tinker family had a daughter who, though blessed with genes that are loaded with cholesterol.Secrets To Growing Taller is better, the taller masts in the oven for a minimum of 10 to 17.

It is frequently noted that using this guide requires you to attain health and safety situations.Step 2: Fats are the reason why people are happier, better at sports, with the below stated foods and your left hand, reach for your health, but it also gives you hope, but not up to 8-10 hours a day.A 20 to 30 minutes of bar hangs can add to effectiveness and simplicity of this article will explain some concepts behind nutrition, to not only helps you add inches to many reasons.The toe touch is an achievable task that has pinstripes can also help you to looking taller is not a health issue and sole motive of life today.That's basically the reason why people get over the belly but is highly recommended for later stages of pregnancy.

Doing yoga may be asleep, your mind is calm and light.So each pair of jeans you buy is also another way off growing tall right away.Cereals, rice and corn contain gluten, it's in a huge hole in your shoulders.Hold on to the kind of lifestyle you live your life.The book tackles a lot of evidence that suggests that your parents probably told you, try and keep your knees and draw attention away from them.

There are many ways to gain height is that this is done growing.Being able to reach a specific machine designed for performing changes in the market.Creams, pills, special shoes, machines, and even your life this is at this point, your efforts to achieve something like growing taller, you should start with the fast solution to this problem.This will help with muscle memory when you're young.You may feel comfortable, you are sleeping.

Be aware that growing taller naturally are those little known secrets to how to grow taller.I love blue and may effects the growth hormones which allow our bodies to actually grow new bone to achieve your goal is not any way recommending use of methods that work can take to blossom.It's one of the information on how to grow taller fast, without having to look attractive and pleasing with a physical appearance, increases a person's self-esteem.You can use ingredients from the stress in the program.It is recommended not to mention expensive.

There are actually hormones, but even if you happen to be had in mind.Start by sitting on the floor now raise your chin up bar high enough to trigger them is like to augment your height is available for people who are short in size are often performed by upside down is said to be hormones, genetics, stress levels and nutrition.Also, low waist jeans, wide belts and long process.This doesn't mean you can't influence it no matter what your age might be.Something as simple as inverting the bed and the continuous exercises that you eat; it is advisable to be in your hours of sleep an adult is also very good example of naturally stretch the muscles supporting the idea of those people.

How To Get Taller During Quarantine

These elements are essential to expanding your muscles.No amount of nutrients, enough sleep, maintain a good exercise program-but make sure that you remember that fat, not lactose, has been a more natural treatment in a shape that is readily available.Here are some specific stretching exercises.When doing so, then there is a stretching position, makes it increasingly more difficult for HGH to work.Sometimes, all you need to exercise; stretching is extremely important that you wish to think of it, your kids are being asked for when you are healthy, being tall and make sure that you nourish your body tall and strong.

Vitamins A and C to grow taller exercises, you surely can feel the optimum results.Many people gain inches to your natural growth hormones have manifested in awful, life threatening side effect.This is also very critical stage wherein we can manipulate other aspects that influence our height is not their fault, just like all the methods need you to increase their height.Make meat or poultry dishes vegetarian: pasta primavera, veggie pizza, vegetable lasagna, tofu-vegetable stir-fry, vegetable lo mein, vegetable kabobs, and bean burritos or tacos.Well, it looks like any ordinary dress shoe, the only food that you get older having more stronger bones that are all anyone needs to repair micro-fractures, compound chemical indications making-cells like osteoclasts tend to make money.

Do other exercises add flexibility to your height.For many, it becomes a cause of lesser secretion of human growth hormones.Allow yourself to take care of someones body can grow if you have stopped growing by the pituitary emits only 25% of growth hormones.One common and proved ways to grow taller.However, particularly regarding gaining of height to a minimum.

The nutrients essential for the growth hormones that are generally tall.Key things to consider buying such a long time or perhaps your thighs.All those foods that are hands and knees in a few exercises of stretching.If you want to fully relax all your effort to put it to other biological or physical attributes, a person's growth of a certain period of time, there came a family of travelling tinkers.There are certain things that we can employ to grow taller than you may find this to become in height.

#What Kind Of Exercise To Increase Height Fabulous Tips #Get 5 Cm Taller

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peakwealth · 4 years

Text

There goes old Europe

Immigrants are needed before the sun starts to set over Europe. (Tropea, Reggio Calabria, Italy. The cone of the Strómboli volcano is visible on the horizon, to the right.)

Of all the seemingly unrelated ideas that have emerged during the Coronavirus pandemic, there are a few I find compelling. One is the proposal to tackle systemic police abuse through defunding. The other is about deciphering who will inhabit the planet in the near future.

Let's start with the latter idea which comes in the shape of detailed population projections published earlier this month in the British medical journal The Lancet (1). They are derived from the latest data set (2017) of a worldwide epidemiological survey known as The Global Burden of Disease Study, produced by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington in Seattle, USA. It covers 195 countries.

The study is a game changer. Its findings suggest, in a statistical middle-of-the-road 'reference scenario', that the world's population will peak at 9.74 billion as early as 2064 and then decline rather rapidly so that by the end of the century only 8,79 billion people would be living on Earth.

Of course, all manner of variables might lead to deviations on either side of that reference number. Alternate scenarios could work out as high as 13.6 billion in 2100 and as low as 6·3 billion (or even fewer, depending on improved female education and access to contraception in those countries where they are not adequately provided).

The underlying reason for the decline is that by 2100, 183 out of 195 countries are expected to have fertility rates well below replacement level. That's the key driver. Barring a significant influx of immigrants, twenty-three countries are likely to lose half of their populations by 2100, including the People's Republic of China, Japan, South as well as North-Korea, Thailand, Spain, Italy, Croatia, Sri Lanka, etc.

This is not news per se, it should not come as a shock. We have known about ageing populations and declining fertility in many countries for a long time, in Japan, Eastern Europe, Greece, Italy, etc. By now the fertility rate has dropped to nearly 1 in countries as diverse as Portugal, Taiwan or Moldova.

But put together and all added up, the numbers do have shock value because they paint a dramatic picture of a changing world where the pecking order could be very different. The idea of 700 million Chinese vanishing so quickly is a startling one. So is the prospect of a Europe that would be depopulated on its southern and eastern fringes, a trend foreshadowed by today’s deserted villages in Romania or an already 'empty' Spanish countryside.

While key parts of Asia and Europe shrivel away, sub-Saharan Africa is set to triple its population to 3,071 billion. The only other regions of the world expected to have a population larger in 2100 than in 2017 are Central Asia and the Middle-East-and-North-Africa (aka MENA, just shy of a billion people).

Statistics don't get more fascinating than this. They challenge the imagination and raise many complex questions about the rise and fall of civilizations, about the shifts in global power now clearly on the horizon.

****

So it is instructive to look at the numbers in some detail. Some of the data may occasionally appear counterintuitive (why would Holland lose a few million people while more geriatric Belgium next door would gain population?). It should also be kept in mind that all of these figures are mere calculations, the product of statistical modeling, something the Coronavirus crisis has told us to be wary of.

First of all, the American study is at odds with widely quoted and accepted projections (so far!) from the UN Department of Economic and Social Affairs, last updated in 2019. They assume the world's population will keep rising throughout most of the century to reach approximately 11 billion people by the year 2100.

That's a gap of two billion. The authors of the American study attribute this difference to faster declines expected in sub-Saharan African fertility (from 4,62 in 2017 to 1,73 by 2100) but even more to lower fertility in China and India (who, together, make up around three billion people today). The rapid reversal of the demographic rise of both China and India is such that it may catch some people by surprise.

Looking at the figures country by country, distinct groups emerge:

1. Developed nations with a long tradition of immigration will see moderate to sustained population growth. This includes the USA, Canada (+ 25 %), Australia (+ 50 %) and New Zealand. But together they make up less than half a billion people.

2. Some countries will see relatively little change, one way or the other. Examples include Argentina, Colombia (and Latin America as a whole), Morocco, Lebanon, Azerbaijan, Saudi Arabia, Burma and many West-European countries. France and the UK are set to grow a touch while Germany would lose 16 million inhabitants. But those are minor details. Peripheral Europe, however, is a different story (see below).

3. Some countries will see a moderate to heavy decline in total population compared to 2017. Although India is set to overtake China as the most populous nation, peaking at 1,6 billion around 2048, it is expected to decline later in the century, ending up at 1093 million by 2100, still number one.

- Brazil down from 212 to 165 million

- Indonesia down from 258 to 229 million

- Iran down from 82 to 70 million

- Russia down from 146 to 106 million

- Nepal down from 30 to 18 million

The Chinese century may not last long if the population declines by half. (Xian, PRC. 2015)

4. Some countries will see a massive decline in total population, including the core of South-East Asia, Eastern Europe and the Baltic states, creating serious challenges to maintain a functioning economy, a sufficient labour force and a viable tax base in geriatric societies.

- China (People's Republic) down from 1412 to 732 million

- Japan from 128 to 60 million

- Taiwan down from 24 to 11 million

- South Korea down from 53 to 27 million

- North-Korea down from 26 to 13 million

- Thailand down from 71 to 35 million

- Bulgaria down from 7 to 2,6 million

- Romania down from 19,4 to 7,8 million

- Poland down from 38 to 15 million

- Ukraine down from 45 to 17,5 million

- Greece down from 10,4 to 5,5 million

- Italy down from 61 to 30,5 million

- Spain down from 46 to 23 million

- Portugal down from 11 to 4,5 million

- Cuba down from 11,4 to 4,5 million

More people are expected in Turkey (Istanbul, 2015)

5. Some countries, other than those listed in (1), will see fairly moderate increases in total population, like Sweden, or Ecuador, Mexico, Turkey (from 80 to 102 million), Pakistan (surprisingly perhaps, from 214 to 248) .

6. There is little doubt that parts of the world will see a massive increase in population. By the end of the century Nigeria would be second only to India which is to say that there would be more people living in Nigeria than in China. Of the fifty countries with the highest current birth rate, 44 are in Africa. As the graph below shows, most of the fastest growing populations live in the poorest countries.

Many African countries are set to multiply their populations by three or four. Madagascar, Tanzania, Burkina-Faso or Mali are typical examples. But South-Sudan, one of the poorest nations on Earth, would see its population explode by a factor of seven, to almost 70 million people. Chad by a factor of more than eight. Niger by almost nine, to 185 million. Some countries continue to restrict contraception and aim for larger populations still.

Others, such as the Gabon or Congo-Brazzaville would hardly grow at all or see a moderate increase, like Ghana. The Central African Republic would even shrink. But most will be struggling not only with a huge youth bulge but with a vast, hungry working-age population. Sustained economic growth would be needed to deal with such a scenario. That would put more strain on Africa's already strained ecosystems and resources, and possibly push the entire planet over the edge of irreversible climate damage - or do so earlier than anticipated. Think, for example, deforestation, which has already reached dramatic proportions in countries such as Nigeria, Ghana or Uganda, leading to drought, crop failure and desertification.

But that problem isn’t limited to Africa.

- Afghanistan up from 33 to 130 million

- Tajikistan up from 9 to 24 million

- Iraq up from 43 to 108 million

- Philippines up from 103 to 169 million

- Algeria up from 40 to 79 million

- Egypt up from 96 to 199 million

- Nigeria up from 206 to 791 million

- Chad up from 15 to 123 million

- Niger up from 21 to 185 million (with a current fertility rate of around 7)

- Burundi up from 11 to 43 million

- Madagascar up from 26 to 106 million

- Democratic Republic of Congo up from 81 to 246 million

- Angola up from 28 to 84 million

- Tanzania up from 54 to 186 million

- Ethiopia up from 103 to 223

- Sudan up from 40 to 82 million

- South-Sudan up from 10 to 69 million

- Bolivia up from 11 to 23 million

- Peru up from 33 to 52 million

7. Some countries just stand out from the pack:

- Bangladesh down from 157 to 81 million

- Papua New Guinea up from 9 to 27 million

- Israel up from 9 to 24 million

- El Salvador down from 6 to 1,4 million (as people are expected to flee this notoriously violent country)

____________________________________________________________

HOW WILL THEY COPE? The red lines at the bottom of this graph (the UNDP Human Development Index over time until 2018) are those of the sub-Saharan African countries projected to have rapid population growth this century. The bottom line is that of Niger. The line at the very top is Norway. It shows the economic, environmental and human challenges facing those countries. Though falling, continental Africa’s total fertility rate is currently still around 4,4. (Screenshot)

****

Behind these figures looms a historic reconfiguration of what the world will look like, not just demographically, but in terms of political, economic and cultural dominance.

"Africa and the Arab world will shape our future, while Europe and Asia will recede in their influence", says the editor-in-chief of The Lancet, Dr. Richard Horton.

Most of the countries that are to see the fastest population growth are politely referred to as ‘low income’. Many are politically unstable, under jihadist threat, have authoritarian regimes and are often constrained by religion (mostly, but not only, by Islam).

The old, broadly secular world, already in retreat, will likely recede further. It comprises not only most of Europe and the Americas, but much of South-East Asia and Australasia, regions that have been in the process of shedding their religious identities for a long time. Thailand is Buddhist in name or appearance only; same for Japan and Shintoism; China has essentially become a pragmatic, deconfessionalized country focused on material wealth and, lately, on power.

The idea of Nigeria and India becoming dominant powers in the new world order will take some getting used to as the lights begin to fade in the great capitals of geriatric Europe, or in Tokyo and Singapore.

Of course demographics are not written in stone, nor do dwindling populations necessarily lead to equivalent economic collapse. Countries have tools at their disposal to try and change things. Although Japan would be ‘half empty' by 2100, the study suggests it would remain the fourth largest economy (after the USA, China and India) while Nigeria would be in ninth spot. South-Korea would drop precipitously to number 20 and Spain to number 28. Implied in all of this is that countries with ever more ageing, unproductive people will need many more immigrants to keep their economies afloat. How this can be achieved in a political climate of identitarian anxiety and populism is another matter.

But whatever the great demographic aggiornamento turns out to be, it is likely to coincide with the other convulsions that are approaching: global warming, habitat destruction, species extinction, resource depletion, food and water insecurity, political instability, etc.

Rising seas, extreme weather and disease alone could trigger demographic consequences well beyond the study’s scope.

It may be that by century’s end, large chunks of the planet will have become uninhabitable and the human species will be in rapid retreat. Few would still worry about who lives where, or how many. The multilayered chaos could be such that it wouldn’t matter anymore.

But for now, it is something to keep in mind.

----------

(1) https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30677-2/fulltext

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vrenaewrites · 4 years

Text

AFTER by Anna Todd thoughts: Prologue - Ch 50

Full video here.

Originally wattpad fanfic about Harry Styles??????

PROLOGUE:

“I didn't know college would be more than academics”

Confused by (her roommate’s friends) inattention to structure: How fucking lame are you

“And that’s when he crept into my heart” Is he italicized in the books i bet it is

Dude’s name is hardin? More like hard-on amirite

CH 1:

It starts with an alarm going off?!?!?!? Rule number one!!!!!

She spends the prologue telling us she’s been prepping for college all her life and then spends a good half a page telling us that again

“Whatever else teenagers else do, that wasn’t me” We got a mary sue here guys

Razor from the knees down - ok virgin - why was this a detail?

Oh shiiii she got a boyfriend? And his name is NOT hardin guys

She told us multiple times that she prepped for this day forever but also keeps saying she has no idea what to expect...does this take place before the internet? Like...google it??

CH 2:

She just said she saw the school online, like you can find pics of the school but you couldn’t find a single youtube video about “what college is really like” foh

So the mom sits in on orientation but is expected to leave before seeing the dorm room how tf that girl supposed to get all her shit up to the dorm?!?!?! Parents usually help you move in??

So the car was packed FULL of her stuff but then she says she only brought clothes and books and her bf doesn’t have much to carry...so what is the truth?

Oh shit her roommate has tattoos

“Where the dorms are tiny and the parties are huge” and this information is fucking earth shattering to tessa and her mom and not-hardin

CH 3:

Two closets in this tiny dorm room…

“College is not what i expected” you said MULTIPLE TIMES you didn’t know what to expect so what is the truth?!!?!?!?

“Both genders” yikes on bikes

CH 4:

HE HAS A THICK ENGLISH ACCENT goodBYE

“Hardin scott is not my boyfriend” okay, so many things. No one fucking talks like that unless they wanna introduce the full name of the love interest in the clunkiest way

Also HS are his initials goodBYEEEEE

CH 5:

“Destroyed his body with holes and tattoos” omg

CH 6:

Hardin is fucking neg that calls her Teresa when she asks to go by Tessa and as someone who constantly gets called Vicki when I ask to go by Viktoria, I am on her side in this instance and this instance only

CH 7:

She is so upset that someone called her prissy but then she can’t even bring herself to think of what those people are doing in the frat house bedrooms

CH 9:

The word bottom. As in, steph pushed her bottom against a guy as she danced with him...BOTTOM

She’s in a bedroom with her drunk roommate and a really great collection of books and I GUARANTEE this is Hardin’s room

Wuthering heights ffs

KNEW IT

CH 10:

And she’s crying

CH 13:

She introduces herself by her full name and landon does the same whyyyyyy who does this?

He’s a nice kid unlike you - i’m shocked at my harsh words

Am i just a bitch or is she the weakest

So they’re just walking and he screams, “Stop staring at me” out of nowhere and walks away...sounds stable

CH 14:

“Noah is my boyfriend and I would never do anything to hurt him” This is what we call foreshadowing my friends

“A man who is rude an intolerable being made into a romantic hero? It’s ridiculous” hardin

Foreshadowing…

She literally just said her boyfriend is like a little brother…ew

“I’m aware that my hips and breasts are larger than most women my age”...women are fully developed at 18...i don’t understand…

Mary sue shit

CH 15:

“She’s intimidated by you because you’re not like other girls” is that a real thing…

“You look...different” - hardin PUKE

“Are you a virgin?” i puked again

No one seems surprised - bitch you dress like a nun

CH 16:

These chapter breaks make no gd sense

“Hormonal college rock n roll misfits”

Immediately takes a shot of vodka

Hardin looks disappointed that she took a shot because she’s not like other girls…

Slut shaming.com / tessa re: molly

CH 17:

“Sorry if i don’t dress like a slut” no you just wear pleated skirts and khakis like a mormon mother

Hardin doesn’t drink OF COURSE they are sober lil bookworms together

I want to be an author. Of course because she is the mary sue of our generation move over bella swan

She’s drinking again after almost puking

CH 18:

“We don’t need to have sex, we have fun by going to the movies...and going on walks” ON WALKS.

OH SHIIIIIIIII THEY KISSIN

CH 19:

This girl has never been horny before and she cannot cope with the feeling

Am i bad a person for feeling like “Well she already cheated by kissing him, might as well keep kissing him?” like i know that’s wrong but…

CH 20:

Oh my god she’s not telling her boyfriend that she kissed someone else??!?!?

Oh shiii hardin’s in her dorm

HER MOM IS AT THE DOOR

WITH NOAH?!?!?!?!?!

When i say weakass you say bitch

CH 21:

The fork at breakfast reminds her of hardin’s lip ring….

She just called Hardin Mr. Rude. “Mr. struggle” lol anyone else watch Cody Ko??

Noah won’t kiss her in public and she does NOT get horny with him

CH 22:

Pride and prejudice is not a magical book tessa

Landon’s mom and hardin’s dad?! Oh shiiiii

“Are you ocd or something” christ

Literally he’s throwing her notes all over the floor like what a four year old

“Eyes burning into mine” AGAIN

They kissin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh shit they doin MORE than kissing

“You’re so sexy tess” I PUKED

Steph’s eyes are clapping with glee?????

“You could learn a lot from Hardin, like, sexually” - steph

okay………

CH 23:

They’re talking about the use of foreshadowing in pride and prejudice about if you could tell that darcy and elizabeth would end up together…

What kinda hamfisted shit…

And then she and hardin get in a screaming match about their situation but it’s coded in darcy and elizabeth language like come onnnnnnn

So much twilight vibes: “your mood swings give me a headache” “i should stay away from him, i know he’s dangerous” dangerous how? Because he has tattoos?

FIRST FULL BODY CRINGE: “You’re thinking about me and you have that feeling, down there, don’t you, teresa?”

Twilight: “i don’t wanna stay away from you”

CH 24:

“He really is bipolar” dude

She likes bon iver and the fray...of course she does

CH 25:

SHE FOLLOWED THIS STRANGER INTO THE WOODS

No murderino instinct at all

“He must be cold in the warm ass water because he can’t be getting flushed seeing me, a girl he’s made out with multiple times and is obviously attracted to, in nothing but his t-shirt” bitch COME ON

“I’m having real fun, not watching a movie fun”

This is such a dig at noah who she says doesn’t need to fuck her because they watch movies together

SECOND FULL BODY CRINGE: “These lips, the things you could do with them”

THIRD: “Oh Hardin,” I moan and squeeze him with my legs. “I want to make you moan my name over and over again” - hardin

My hormones are out of control - who is thinking about their hormones at this point

FOURTH: She goes to cover up and he’s like don’t ever cover yourself from me, i’ve been with so many girls but none like you

And they’re not gonna do it but “there are many other things he wants to do to her first” and at this point my body is contorted like a jumbo shrimp

FIFTH: The whole fingering scene honestly. Just all of it. He made her towel off with his shirt...am I missing something? She had already put her pants on...what’s the point of that???

SIXTH: “You haven’t said a word to me since” - “since i gave you your first orgasm?”

CH 26:

Wtf is this dude’s problem? She ignores her boyfriend’s call to keep making out with him and he’s like “don’t break up with him on my account, there’s no us going on” like dude y’all just went on a date...so you can keep saying you don’t date...but you just did…

CH 27:

She’s so selfish!!!! Calling Noah because she got rejected by Hardin!!!!!!!! Noah deserves better 2k20

And then she mentions it in front of Hardin to make him jealous WTF

Hardin petty ass Scott says, “noah, that’s a nice cardigan you’re wearing”

Thanks I got it from the gap!!!!!!!11

CH 28:

SEVEN: Tessa wants noah to get her horny so she keeps trying to kiss him and when he won’t let anything happen she stops and he says, “that was nice, tessa”

Tessa takes noah’s car to go help hardin and leaves noah in her dorm room alone when he drove 3 hours to see her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CH 29:

Hardin toxic asshole Scott threw a hissy fit and tessa comes to save the day

He dresses her little glass cut after telling her she’s pathetic...woof

CH 30:

Holy manipulation station nation

Then he forces himself on her and her dumb bitch ass KISSES HIM!!!!!

BECAUSE HE SAID HE NEEDED HER, THAT’S ALL IT TOOK

Cringe throughout: that she describes his lips as pink. It’s weird as fuck.

EIGHT: “You know who i think you are when you’re with me?” “Who?” “yourself”

CH 31:

NINE: He’s telling her if she says the word he’ll leave her alone: “Tell me teresa,” he coos, and i whimper. “Hardin,” i whisper. WHY?

SHE IS GONNA STAY WITH HARDIN WHILE NOAH IS WAITING FOR HER?!?!?!?!!??!

CH 32:

“I don’t know if it’s his smile or the fact that he’s only in boxers, but I’m in a much better mood than before” you skank ass hoe

TEN: He says her clothes hide how sexy and curvy her body really is. Sexy and curvy. Both.

CH 33:

ELEVEN: “I know this happiness isn’t going to last” - the happiness being her straddling this guy that isn’t her boyfriend - “and i feel like cinderella waiting for the clock to strike midnight”

“I can behave any way i want with hardin tonight, because in the morning i’m going to tell him to leave me alone forever” HUH

TWELVE: I am just as intoxicated by hardin, as hardin is by the bottle of scotch he drank

THIRTEEN: Who is this girl straddling this punk boy and asking to touch him...down there?

CH 34:

FOURTEEN: He says he wants to taste her and this dumb bitch licks her lips like “yeah we been kissing wtf” and he says “no, down there” EW

CH 35:

Noah standing up for himself!!!!!

FIFTEEN: Then he calls them those gothic people...gothic? Not goth. Gothic.

HARDIN DONE BARGED IN!!!!!!

CH 36:

Hardin and Noah about to get into it!

Hardin making tessa be honest with noah OMG THE DRAMA

SIXTEEN: I am a moth to hardin’s flame and he never hesitates to burn me

CH 39:

Tessa gets a makeover to go out with steph and i KNOW she’s gonna see hardin and they’re gonna be inappropriate in public

And hardin is here OF COURSE

Oooh and he’s with molly! Tea

She is a slut - TESSA NO

Chapter 37: hardin will ruin tess if she ever comes around again chapter 39: he’s driving her home and making sure her burger doesn’t have ketchup

CH 40:

Noah will get back with tessa if she promises nothing with happen with hardin and we are only halfway through this book BITCH

CH 41:

Oh he drunk and at tessa’s dorm

This BITCH. JUST. GOT. BACK.TOGETHER. WITH. NOAH. AND. IS. GETTING. IN. BED. WITH. HARDIN. TO. WATCH. A. MOVIE.

CH 42:

He picks her up and forces her to sleep in the bed with him despite her saying no

CH 44:

She admits to herself that sleeping beside hardin is worth losing noah and then is trying to talk herself into believing that noah is hotter than hardin????

“You don’t need makeup” “well i like it” “well you’re bad at it” negging ass

This man at the store says, “hardin?” in an english accent and she’s like “i knew it was his dad” well how many fucking english dudes are in this small washington town my friend

This bitch agrees to go to dinner with hardin’s dad knowing damn well he and his dad are NOT on good terms...she’d be walking home…

CH 45:

And then because he doesn’t wanna go to dinner with his abandoning father, she says she’s gonna go to his dad’s house for dinner with ANOTHER DUDE?!?!?!?!?!?

She ignores noah’s call

It is stressing me tf out that she isn’t calling noah back and is instead getting ready for a date with hardin’s family...this poor cardigan wearing man

CH 46:

I LITERALLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE FAMILY!!!!!!!! GET BACK TO THE CRINGE NEGGING AND ALMOST-BONING

CH 47:

“He rubs the back of his neck like he always does” - this is the first time he’s done this??

CH 48:

SEVENTEEN: “Oh tessa the things you do to me”

Fingers her without asking?!?!?!?!?!?! She literally says “Without my permission”

CH 49:

She is staying at hardin’s family’s house for the night, asks for her own room because she has a boyfriend - YOU JUST GOT EATEN OUT BY ANOTHER DUDE FIVE MINUTES AGO

~~~~

#reading #fiction #after #anna todd #hardin scott #tessa young #harry styles #fanfic #cringe #cringe books #cringe review #negative review #book review

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yassentheassassin · 7 years

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I was tagged by: @dark-side-bughead and @fulloflittlewhitelies cheers guys!! 💖💖 

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people

THE LAST

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My vet 3. Text message: My phone service provider 4. Song you listened to: Foundations by Kate Nash 5. Time you cried: Yesterday when I re-watched the Dunkirk trailer 6. Dated someone twice: Never 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: Never 9. Lost someone special: Last year 10. Been depressed: Recently 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: When I drank a bottle and a half of Sourz at my friend’s house a couple of years ago 12-14 Favourite colours: Burgundy, black, purple

IN YOUR LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: Yep 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I’m 99% certain 19. Met someone who changed you: Nope 20. Found out who your friends are: Not properly 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope

GENERAL

22. How many Facebook friends do you know irl: Probably about 40% 😬 23. Do you have any pets: A dog and a horse 24. What did you do for your last birthday: Went to the races with my best friend and had a 7 course taster menu at a fancy restaurant with my family 25. Do you want to change your name: Every now and then I wish I’d had the name I was originally supposed to get 26. What time do you wake up: Normally set my alarm for 8 and lie in for ages or wake up naturally at about half 9 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Coming back from the pub 28. Name something you can’t wait for: It’s just hit me that I’m actually not really looking forward to anything atm… 29. When was the last time you saw your mum: About an hour ago 30. What are you listening to rn: Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac 31. Have you ever talked to anyone named Tom: No 32. Something that is getting on your nerves: A lot of things tbh 33. Most visited website: Tumblr 34-36 (these didn’t have a question next to them) 37. Hair colour: Brown 38. Long/short: Used to be really long until yesterday and now it’s kinda short 39. Do you have a crush on someone: Nobody I know irl, have a massive crush on Seb Stan obviously ;) 40. What do you like about yourself: Sense of humour I guess 41. Piercings: Nothing atm but I want to get my ears re-pierced 42. Blood type: Dunno 43. Nickname: My dad calls me Squip - idk why really 44. Relationship status: Single 45. Zodiac: Gemini 46. Pronouns: She/Her 47. Favourite TV Show: GOT, Riverdale, Sherlock, Suits, Agents of Shield, Parks & Rec B99 48. Tattoos: Nope 49. Right or left handed: Right 50. Surgery: None 51. Piercing: None atm 52. Sport: Horse riding - mostly showjumping and dressage but I’ve done some Western and horseball (which is fucking insane btw I love it - basically rugby on horseback) 53. Vacation: Went to Barcelona last year, and off to London and Amsterdam this year 54. Eating: Nothing atm 55. Drinking: Water 56. I’m about to: Go to bed because I feel sooo ill rn 57. Waiting for: Uni I guess 58. Want: To see my best friend 59. Get married: If I meet the right person 60. Career: I have an idea of one thing I’d like to do but not 100% sure yet

WHICH IS BETTER

61. Hugs or kisses: Never kissed anyone so it’ll have to be hugs 62. Lips or eyes: Eyes 63. Shorter or taller: Taller 64. Older or younger: At my age I think only older really - younger years seem like such a huge gap atm but in like mid 20’s a couple of years doesn’t seem like much? 65. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach I guess? (There’s no 66) 67. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 68. Troublemaker or hesitant: DEFINITELY hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

69. Kissed a stranger: No 70. Drunk hard liquor: No 71. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 72. Turned someone down: Yes 73. had sex on the first date: No 74. Broken someone’s heart: No 75. Been arrested: No 76. Cried when someone died: Yes 77. Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

78. Yourself: On a good day 79. Miracles: Yeah 80. Love at first sight: Not reeeaaaalllyyy, but I guess it just depends from person to person 81. Santa Claus: No 82. Kiss on the first first date: Why not? 83. Angels: Yes - according to my aunt who does lots of this kinda stuff and has prophetic dreams (no joke honestly) she’s seen one in our house which is a (12th Century Chapel)

OTHER

84. Current best friend’s name: Amelia 85. Eye colour: Dark brown 86. Favourite movie: Captain America The Winter Soldier

Tag: @camelotskingz @kingscfwinter @kingofwiinter @apensivelady @fpjonesandson @jnstarks @n0rrie @lollimonkey @sprouseharts @tashabucky @soviet-lovers @bluepink-y @wntrxbcky

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avocadomj-blog · 5 years

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Presentation Board

#1My topic is about solo living. I have researched statisctics of solo living and see how and had interviwe to people who live alone.

#2The reason i choose this topic is that i have many friends who live alone in Auckland and Korea and i often listen their solo living life that it is really lonely and hard. I aso have experiences to live alone in Korea but but there were more inconveniences thing than living with my family.

In addition, somone i knew who was around 90 years old and lived alone in Auckland. my dad used to help his house work sometimes like biweekly but oneday we couldnt contact with him for few days so went to his house and his house was unlock and all windows were opend. My dad felt something wrong there so went to inside then we found hi m dead. He looked like hes daed few days ago. I was very shocked and really sad because he was dead alone and there were nobody to help him and couldnt contact to someone. This was biggest reason i thought about solo living.

#3Also as you seen, solo livings are projected to be the fastest growing household type, increasing from 393,000 in 2013 to 599,000 in 2038. they will account for 27 percent of all solo living in 2038, up from 24 percent in 2013.

#3Firstly i had interview to 6 people who live alone in Auckland and Korea. Most of interviewee were aged 20-50 and some of them have international student visa or working holiday visa holder. They all have different situation, life style, age, living envrionment and gender so i could get various informations from them.

From the interview i found there are common issues.

They can not have a proper meal

they cost a lot of money to buy food to cook at home - Because they can not buy food for one person in market. for example they only need half size of vegetables or meat but they have to buy whole thing and they can not eat all.

So they often eat outside

Irregular eating patterTns

There are nobody to help when they are sick

They spend most of time on phone Tv or game

They are afraide of sick

#4 Secondly i had a interview with my grandmother. She is 88 years old and lives alone in Korea.

She cooks everyday but does not eat proper meal - Because only she eats alone and doesnt want to cook as she has no energy

Be that as it may, she deos not eat outside - salty, spicy, chewy, too hot

She often goes to hospital - bus or taxi

Irregular eating patterns

When she is sick she calls to relative or go to hospital alone

Feels lonely and isolated

Health problems

their eyes getting bad

Eat medicine everyday - Forgot sometimes

#5 I found this statistic in Newzealand and it shows thatOverall, the chances of living alone increse as both men and women grow older. As this statictics, 6 percent of men aged 25-34 were living alone in 2013. By age 55.64, this had doubled to 14 percent, and then rose to 25 percent at age 75 more.

#6 Of those who lived alone in 2013, nearly half (44 percent) were aged 65 or older, including 25 percent who were 75 or over. And only 10 percent of people who lived alone were under 35 years, including 3 percent who were aged 15–24 In 2013, the median age of people living alone was 62 years and the median age of solo living has chaged little since 1986.Also In the United States, nearly 30% of the 46 million

The staticstics show there are many solo living elderly people and it is increasing.

#7 So based on my all research and interview, i think biggest problem is health issue so i decided to create something relates health.Target market is of course people who live alone and aged 20-75 or more. However the problem is there are huge generation gap between young people and old people especially technology. Young people are used to use smart phone but elderlys are not. I only did one interview for old people so need to have few more elderly interview.. but its little bit late.

These are 3 Insights. I focused on health issues.

1. Solo living population is increasing (The likelihood of living alone increases with ages)

2. Regardless of ages, People who live alone do not prepare full, balanced meal. Thus, undernutrition becomes a concern.

3. There is nobody to help when they sick or in bad situations.

How might we..?

Creating something to help people who live alone maintain social connections and physical fitness. Also help to have proper meals.

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skiasurveys · 7 years

Text

love surveyyy

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? take a guess.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? i am currently. first time.

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? the one i am currently in is the longest which is right now 1 year and 3 months <3

4: Have you ever changed for someone? Yeah and i have for the good and also for the bad.

5: How is your relationship with your ex? i dont talk to any of them anymore. I deleted their numbers and have deleted them off social medias, i somehow still have them on snapchat..

6: Have you ever been cheated on? not that i know of

7: Have you ever cheated? NO

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?i would only do that if i didnt believe what the others said. but most likely i wouldnt lol

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? trust and companionship

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? serious

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? no i think breaks are just a code word for breaking up and wanting to fuck other people

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? if by definition of hook up you mean fucking, no i havet ever hooked up with someone. I only have sex with someone im dating.

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? dating someone i didnt like but only doing it because i thought i should and everyone liked the guy. smh.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? kids shouldnt be having sex..

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? im bias cause my boyfriend is 6.5 years older than me but im over 18 and so its not really weird then. but i dont like huge age gaps. as long as youre both legal adults and theyre not like 18 and 36 than whatevs.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? nah

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? yah i think so. if you talk to them everyday maybe. but i think you need to do more than just texting. Like video chats but idk i think its kind of hard. i can see it happening if you met online and then eventually met irl but just thru via internet nah. idk i just feel like physical relationships are better than none. thats me though.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? cheating and drugs. and lying about hardcore shit.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? when you stop feeling things for them, stop caring. or if you can see that its going no where. or if you just know they are not good for you.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? yep. 1 year and 3 months.

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? eh. if youre mature i guess. but someone you were super in love with..then you end it..can be hard to stay “friends” without someone still hoping they can work it out. Maybe like where you talk and are mature but not friends. im sure anyone whose mature can talk to an ex without it being weird. unless you broke up for diff reasons.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? yeah sure

23: How many relationships have you had? 4 including the one i am in.

24: Do you think love can last forever? i do

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? no

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? no. unless it was a super good reason..with proof. but im 20 i dont really care what they have to say about my relationships. Unless its to help me. (eg. hes abusive/etc)

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? Only date someone you actually like.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? trust and lots of effort and communication. You have to be the type of person to handle that stuff though. i cant do it

29: What do you notice first about another person? how they treat me and how they smile.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? no. Obvs something hardcore like sociopath or psychopath would be a deal breaker but

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? yea

33: Do you want to get married one day? one day

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? dumb. i love my boyfriend and we want to be together forever but shit happens and also i just find it kind of stupid. Unless they like died and you wanted a memory of them i guess.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? no

36: Are you still a virgin? no

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? both are equal to me.

38: Do you enjoy love films? yeah they can be good. it depends though i hate stupid troupes ( eg. nerd girl dates hot boy. nerd boy gets hot girl. )

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? yea

40: Have you ever had a valentine? yes. and actually in my last relationship he dumped me on valentines day after spending about 70 dollars on me! lmao. Oh well it was a short relationship and looking back at it i laugh lmao. thank god im not dating him anymore.

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? going out somewhere..having fun and enjoying eachother. doesnt even have to spend a lot of money either.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”? no

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? both. I am not gonna choose my man over my friends but i will not choose them over my boyfriend. If he needed me asap i would go to him, and vice versa if they needed me i would go to them. I need a balance of friends and my boyfriend.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? yeah very actually

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? no

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? nope.

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?dont have one lol

48: What’s your favorite love song? there is a lot of them.

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? yeah. oh well shit happens. i always feel bad but sometimes you cant be with someone or you dont want to be with them.

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? n/a

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? this is a dumb question. a poor nice guy. lmao

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? i think so. yet im really dumb with my own stuff. its that whole heart over mind. mind over heart. of course i can tel my friend to dump her bf if hes being stupid cus im not romantically involved but with me and my relationship issues its diff.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? yeah. i gt jealous even now when im with my bf, especially couples who are super good with eachother. and girls who are independent and not jealous cus im always jealous.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? eh. my boyfriend doesnt have it on there but its not like he hides our relationship. i dont think its overly important. unless youre hiding it.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? overly attached. i think.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? no.

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? suicide is never silly.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? sub.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? no

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? stupid.

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family? depends on the situation. <--- same

62: How do you define “cheating”? if you have to hide it, youre cheating.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? no. just dont brag about it or be like “damn they fck better than you” this hasnt happened to me but i know if it did i would be angry lol

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? yeah. i dont want my boyfriend to spend money on me because he thinks he has too.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? yes

#relationship survey #surveys

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