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tremendouscreationperson · 2 years

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Obi-Wan x Reader

So this is an Obi-Wan fic based during the events of the Kenobi series, there are obviously flashbacks which you’ll love. I wont lie, I sorta just don’t mention Satine so you can decide whether they had a bad breakup or she doesn’t exist. This is mainly Obi-Wan’s POV, it is also a two parter, if anyone is interested.

To think he’d be on a planet that wasn’t dry or course, to be somewhere where it rained, surely it should be enjoyable. But no, he was on a mission, something he hadn’t done for almost eleven years now. He was rusty. The neon lights burnt his eyes in a different way than the sun usually did, the brilliant greens and reds, even the purples, making him pause to take a calming breath.

He’s safe. It’s not as if he could really be hurt any more. His Master, his brother, his friends, his soldiers, his responsibilities. All gone. Despite them winning the war. They defeated Grievous for Makers sake! That was the goal, defeat him and the droids. Stop the Separatists at any cost. A sarcastic huff escaped him as he eyed the propaganda Holos for the ‘NEW EMPIRE’. They were wearing the same armour his troopers wore, why did they attack? Surely there was a reason, surely, they wouldn’t just turn on the Jedi, not Rex, not Cody. He had hoped that Fives was right, that maybe it was programmed into them, but who knows? The Chancellor had banned talk about Fives and Rex wasn’t meant to tell Ahsoka who told Anakin who told him.

Was he wrong to miss the war? Probably.

Obi-Wan shook his head and hurried along, he was on a mission. He must stick to the mission, then get back and continue his observation on the boy. Luke. His name was Luke. And his mission was Leia. Would they every meet? He hoped so. Maybe one day. When its saf-

“Spare any Credits?” Cody? Obi-Wan stopped in surprise. No, but he was wearing 501st armour, he was one of Anakins men. Obi-Wan stared at the familiar face and remembered a time he would be sitting across from it eating, or creating battle plans, or just watching the democratic debates. It was older than Obi-Wan had ever seen, even the ‘reject clones’ never really got this old, or scraggily but he wasn’t one to judge. “Help a veteran get a warm meal?” He held his helmet a bit higher.

Obi-Wan, despite the initial suspicion of being ratted on, threw what he could spare into it. At least this Trooper wasn’t firing at him. Maybe he knew Obi-Wan was no longer a threat, just a tired old man. The Trooper nodded in thanks before his eyes flickered to an imposing Holo behind Obi-Wan’s shoulder. A frown set on his face and he looked away in shame. Obi-Wan turned, eyebrow raised, before sucking in a shaky breath.

There you were on the screen. It was your Jedi Archives portrait. Your eyes bore into his soul, looking dead on; your lips slightly curved into a smile, he could remember being the cause of; and your hair was lime green. He loved the colourful nature of your species, every few months you’d come into the Temple with a new set of armour and hair, he had even compared you to a Mandalorian a few times. Both so expressive and changing in nature. He and you would have long discussions about the meanings behind certain colours and Obi-Wan could tell that you weren’t being completely honest about a few, you were allowed to like the colours for whatever reasons you wanted, you needed no excuse in his eyes.

You had been trained by a Master called Cjuria but she had died at the hands of Ventress, meaning Yoda took over your final years and after that you did help Qui-Gon and himself before Anakin came along. You were basically a co-parent to the boy but he would never admit what that truly meant. Never accept that fact because you and Anakin were gone. You, Anakin, Ahsoka, Padme, Qui-Gon, Rex, Cody, the 212th, Windu, Billaba, Aalya, Fisto, Plo Koon, Quinlan, Yoda, even Jar Jar. There was nothing where he once could feel everyone. An all-consuming nothingness.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t stay here too long.” The Trooper interrupted his wallowing. “Those Inquisitors are nasty.”

Obi-Wan took one last look at this face, the face of his many friends, his men, and now of an unlikely ally. He had wished that all the Clones would live to look like this and now he had seen it he was bitterly disappointed. If Anakin knew a member of the 501st was suffering he’d be livid. If Anakin-

“Thank you.” Kenobi bowed his head before continuing his path to Leia.

///

“Obi!” You called from the top of the curved stairwell, launching yourself over the banister from the very top to the bottom.

He had been intending to go over strategies with Mace but seeing your wide smile as you bounded up to him halted that. The setting sun peeking through the elongated windows did wonders for your skin, making you almost glow. Your eyes were brighter, but they always got like that when you were excited.

“Are you quite alright?” He chuckled, taking in your bright orange hair. It was the colour of the flora from Lantrien. The very toxic spore producing flowers were a lovely sight once you and he had gotten over the worst of the symptoms.

“Luke.” You whisper, your smile not wavering. “She’s so convinced it’s a boy, she keeps thinking of boys names; that’s the current favourite, though.”

The subject of your mutual friend’s child was taboo amongst most. Obi-Wan wasn’t stupid, nor blind, despite trying to be. Anakin had unashamedly loved the Queen from the moment he met her. He was secretly happy for them, one day he knew it wouldn’t be a secret. He had allowed himself to imagine a scenario where the child called him uncle. He would care for him or her no matter what, Anakin knew it, Padme knew it, you knew it. He would keep their child safe, once the war was over, once he could choose his own path.

‘Jedi weren’t meant to be generals.’ Qui-Gon had spoken, ‘we are peacekeepers’ and that is all Obi-Wan craved. He was getting weary of war, of duty. If only the day could come when the war was just memories.

“And what if it isn’t a boy?” He raised his brow.

“She was thinking Lila.” You shrugged. “Or Leia, I like Leia more. It’s more regal.”

Obi-Wan had to agree with you on that one, despite agreeing with you on practically everything. “A little Prince or Princess.”

“Woul-” You paused before mouthing, “Would he be a king?”

Obi-Wan had no answer to that. How was he to know? Could a Jedi still truly be a Jedi with a wife, and child? If not, he could be king, if so, he could be a king and a Jedi, was that morally correct?

“Kenobi!” Mace’s voice stopped you both as he walked by, “I almost can’t believe you’re not early to our strategy meeting.”

“Sorry, I distracted him.” You pulled a ‘whoopsie’ face, raising your brows and shoulders, your lips pulling inwards .

Mace gave you the very same unimpressed look he gave practically everyone but his eyes were warm with affection. You were friends and had been for years. “Don’t you have a queen to guard?”

“She requested a walk and Skywalker knows the best paths.” You said with such bravado. “I would be useless.”

///

Were all 10-year-olds this annoying or was it just the Skywalkers? Obi-Wan saw so much of Anakin in this feisty girl. She was forthright and observant when she disregarded his orders and claimed he was her father. But his already fragile heart broke when she apprehensively asked: “Are you my real father?”

“I wish I could say I was.” She bent her head in disappointment, the wind whipping at their hair, he’d say that’s why his eyes were glassy if she asked.

“Sometimes I try to imagine what he was like.” She muttered, eyes actively avoiding him.

Obi-Wan felt that pain himself being a Jedi. “I know that feeling.” She glanced in his direction, “as Jedi we were taken from our families when we were very young. I still have glimpses, flashes really, my mother’s shawl. My father’s hands.” He had only ever told you the next part; whispered on cold bunks, during one of the worst battles you’d endured, hands entwined between the empty space. “I-I remember a baby.”

“A baby?” Leia was now fully turned towards him.

“Yes, I think I had a brother. Though I really don’t remember him. I wish I did.” He felt regret for that. Was it possible to miss a life you didn’t live? To want it, yes, but to miss it? He thought not. He didn’t want for anything really, and he had ‘siblings’ so to say but would it have been an equally great life? Would he have been on the Republics side? Yes, he was sure he would. “But then I joined the Jedi and I had a new family. Just like you.”

She was silent then and he allowed her to take in the information he had given her. “Ben?”

“Yes, Leia?”

“Were they happy?”

That question was one of those where you automatically say ‘yes of course’, but he knew deep down. Anakin and Padme were happy. They were in love and didn’t care by the end who knew. They were destined to be together from the start but despite that. They were friends. They-they were happy. “Yes.”

The truck started to slow down then, drawing both passengers’ attention. Freck had said it wouldn’t take long, just a routine checkpoint but the hair on the back of Obi-Wan’s neck stood up. Leia was calm, she had been surrounded by the bucketheads since birth, she didn’t hold the same fear Kenobi did.

Freck exited the truck and spoke with the Troopers before they started walking around the back. Obi-Wan pulled his hood up keeping his gaze down. Leia did no such thing, scanning the watch tower and the red laser gate.

‘I am one with the force’ was the mantra rattling around his head as the Troopers asked who they were and why they were travelling this way. ‘Master’ he basically pleaded as he was no where near strong enough to use any form of Jedi trick. He wished he could, that would’ve been an easier escape than shooting his and Leia’s way out.

///

“Guns are so-” He paused in contemplation. “So uncivilised.”

You looked up at him from your spot lying on the meadow. You both had two days before you were to meet the informant. It wasn’t meant to be that late but there were suspicions and you guys were taking the first opportunity to relax; even for a moment. The trees hung low and smelled like home, although you didn’t know what or where that was. You recognised the smell, and the feeling of contentment. You’d told him that and he revealed the sound of waves reminded him of home.

“But you’ll happily cut someone in half?” You gave him a smirk as he rolled his eyes, leaning back next to you. You put on a posh accent, one hand resting on your chest and the other dramatically thrown across your forehead. “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, I cannot bare the thought of shooting a gun, but I will redirect a laser. Much in the same way a gun shoots.”

He shoved your hand away. “I do not sound like that.”

“I do not sound like that.” You tried and failed not to giggle at his expression.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t stop giving away our position.” His hand twiddled a lock of your half blue hair. “This side isn’t as bad but that one is basically a target.” He brushed a few flyaway strands of red from your temple.

“A girls gotta get you to notice her somehow.” You winked.

He just rolled his eyes. “You shouldn’t say that.”

You shrugged, bits of the yellowed grass getting caught on your shoulders.

“The war will be over soon; might as well enjoy the freedom it brings.”

He never quite understood that statement until now. You had meant that once it was over you would be ‘real’ Jedi. No hiding behind the cloak of battle, no missions together because it was needed. You would have to rebuild the galaxy and after that you would have to keep the peace in it. The whole galaxy. There would probably be one Jedi per quadrant.

What you meant by that statement was ‘I know you’re scared; I am too. Why can’t we be scared together?’ You had both had the talk no relationships, no love, love lead to the dark side. But there were Jedi who had wives, who had husbands, who had kids, who had a life outside of the order.

Why couldn’t you?

///

Tala positioned them in an archway, before going to check everything was in order for them to escape through ‘the Pathway’. He made sure to keep a hand on Leia’s shoulder. If Anakin was anything to go by he’d need to tie himself to her.

Once the coast was clear they made their way to the safehouse.

Inside was a mechanics den, the tables littered with tools and exposed wires. There was a droid who seemed intimidating but Tala reassured them he was friendly. Leia was fascinated and showed him her little L0LA.

Tala reached behind what looked to be an electrical cupboard and the walls parted. A woman was behind them packing a bag, “Tala you said a child too? I only have this; I hope it isn’t too flashy.”

That voice.

Surely not.

Obi-Wan walked towards her as she began to turn to face the group and low and behold. It was you. You-you were alive. Your hair was an ashy brown colour, your skin paler and thinner. The chubbiness had vanished in your cheeks, but your eyes and smile were the same. And they shone.

“Ob-h my maker.” You cut yourself off from saying his name. Unsure if it was wise to reveal you knew each other.

He was the same. He had no idea how to react. So, you both just stood there in awe.

“Raya?” Tala’s head was tilted, a clear sign she wanted to know what was happening.

You spared her your gaze for half a second before it landed back onto him.

“I-I’ve got you some supplies.” You stiffly spoke, awkwardly offering him the bag.

He looked down before taking it, “Thank you. Raya?” You gave a minute nod. “I am Ben.”

You chuckled a little then and he did the same. “Ben? That’s a very unique and unusual name.”

He rolled his eyes. How had he not seen you in 10 years and the first thing you do is tease him? “Thank you.”

There was a shuffling behind him, oh yes, a child. She was watching this whole interaction in the same fashion as Tala. But by the Stars she looked familiar. You couldn’t quite place why as she stood with poise and dignity. Her chin pointed upwards and her hair, only slightly out of place. She looked regal next to Kenobi.

“Is this your daughter?” You felt a little indifferent as you voiced the question. She didn’t particularly look like him but it was possible. He may not even tell you the truth because Tala is standing right there almost gawking at this situation.

Obi-Wan brought her forward, to his surprise with no complaint or noise, placing a hand on her shoulder and patting it with his fingers. “Raya. This is Leia.”

Leia? You weren’t sure if you said it or thought it but a thousand memories flashed the moment that name left his mouth. Of course, she was Leia. She had the same hair and eyes as Padme and the same composure. At your visible shock her eyebrows were drawn slightly in a very Anakin way. She had his chubby youngling cheeks too.

You knelt to shake her small hand. You were meant to help her; you had been devastated when Padme was buried and like everyone else believed her bump was real. Believed her unborn child had become part of the stars with her. “Leia. It’s very nice to meet you.” A tear oozed it’s way down your cheek.

“It is nice to meet you, too.” Even her small voice held such power. She was made to be a ruler, you wished she was, it was the least she deserved. Kriff she deserved the life of a Princess, the life her parents were going to give her.

“I’m sorry to break up whatever this is but we need to get you and you out of here.” Tala pointed at them. “Maybe you’ll follow them?” She asked hopefully, wishing you some peace finally.

You were about to talk when the sensation of grinding teeth settled in your mouth, a shiver made its way up your spine also and settled on the back of your neck. A cold, dead feeling wrapped around like a shawl.

Ob-Ben met your gaze, his hand finding the sabre you hadn’t noticed on his belt. He was a brave man to be carrying that around. Yours was hidden in the mechanics of NED. Figuring that was the safest place for it, in a droid who couldn’t speak. You guys used to hide stuff in R2 all the time.

Ben was at the window, peaking behind the curtain to see an imposing figure. “Get Leia out of here.” He told you. “Get her to Alderaan. To Bail.”

“Bail?” You said in disbelief. “O-Ben! Who is it? It’s familiar, but twisted.”

His eyes pore into yours. “Darth Vader.”

///

You had picked up Leia and ran with Tala trying to formulate a plan. How on earth would you get to Alderaan, the pathway doesn’t go to Alderaan. Kriffing Alderaan?! Maker how long are these tunnels?

You felt a wave through your body and suddenly stopped. That wasn’t good. Or was it? Was that? Was Kenobi using the force? WAS KENOBI FIGHTING DARTH VA- of course he was.

“Tala.” You placed Leia down and connected their hands. “Please. I have to go back. Comm Bail Organa. Find a way. I don’t care how, kriff tell him (y/f/n) wants him.”

“You knew the Organa’s?” Her eyes were wide but she nodded. You had told her some of your history but most was secret so you could live.

You scoffed, “I knew the Queen of Naboo.” Your eyes flickered to Leia. “Now please, go.”

“Wait!” Leia called as you ran towards the current that the Force had created. “You knew my mother?!”

You bit your lip as you ran from her and Tala. Both of whom you wished to know more of but were so fearful they would be hurt in the hunt for you.

You sat on the floor of your ship floating adrift in space. Your arms wrapped around your legs as you stared at the body in front of you. Reach. He was your friend, why did he attack you?

You were on your way to help Ahsoka with Maul, despite your orders.

“Ahsoka has asked for help.” You informed Obi-Wan, thinking he was unaware. He was and he told you that he couldn’t let Grievous escape yet again, that you were too close to winning the war. “Obi.. its Maul… It’s Ahsoka.” You took a step back, “I’m going to help her.” He seemed a little take aback by you but nodded.

“Keep safe,” His hand found your wrist. “Only take who you need, this can’t be known. We’ve already given them too many Clones as it is.”

“I’ll take Reach. I think her and I could handle him. At least I’m confident she can.” You tried to joke.

“Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“Only if you say it first.”

“I will be careful.” He vowed.

“I love you, too.” You winked.

You hadn’t made it to Ahsoka. You were halfway to her, before she popped up letting you know she was successful. You were so proud of her, remembering the little scamp she used to be. She may well be the most powerful Jedi, behind the chosen one of course.

“Ahsoka, another message is coming through, I only brought Reach’s Pad to spare resources, uh, send me your coordinates and I’ll be on my way, we’ll meet in the middle.”

She gave you a quick salute before a cloaked figure appeared, you and Reach gave each other a look before he demanded: EXECUTE ORDER 66.

“Order-?” Something hit you so hard in the temple you fell off of your seat. “Kriff!”

You were then being straddled and punched again and again and again. Bringing your arms up to block the attacks, you kicked your legs in the hopes of pushing Reach off balance. It worked and you were able to scramble away, pulling yourself just barely to a standing position. Reach’s face was blank, his hand going to his belt finding it empty.

“You were cleaning it,” You panted, igniting your sabre before he could jump on you again. “Reach, what’s going on?”

“Good soldiers follow orders.” He spoke as though it was obvious.

“Orders? Was that an order?” You tried to piece together, despite your headache. “Who was that?”

He was silent.

“Reach, please.” Your head was pounding now. He took advantage of your dizziness and you didn’t mean to. You didn’t. But he was now laying, bleeding out, still trying to grab at you. You withdrew the sabre before flinging it far from you. You vision was blurred before but now you were crying, kneeling over him. “We don’t have any medical supplies.” There would be a whole hospital wing on Ahsoka’s ship. If only you left earlier.

He muttered something you were too hysterical to hear but he kept repeating it like a mantra. “Kill the Jedi.” His last word was ‘the’.

You had moved so you weren’t kneeling but otherwise you were sitting next to his body. You could tell your head was bleeding, probably turning your purple hair a wet maroon. There wasn’t anything you could do. The comms were down and in the scuffle you had been knocked majorly off course. The stars were almost a good companion in your grief. It wasn’t just you. There were thousands. You felt them. Or actually you ceased feeling them. There was an empty void where previously a small hum had been.

How long had you sat here?

How long until you had to get your shit together?

How did Sidious corrupt the Clones? He must’ve had an inside man.

You sat for quite a while longer in slow contemplation.

But there was a rapping at the air lock. As if someone had knocked. You ignored it until it happened again. Scowling you braced yourself upon the wall before attempting to stand. It wasn’t easy being bruised and numb and stiff and dizzy and just sad. You did it though. You took one step and immediately fell as a myriad of pain shot through your leg like lightning. You hadn’t realised he’d grabbed it in the chaos, but alas you continued leaning heavily on the wall. The airlock had a window and outside floated a small box. Maybe it was a bomb. No, the ship, despite not moving, still worked and it would’ve detected danger. You squinted and could just about make out the symbol of the Republic etched into the metal.

What more could you have to lose? You sealed and opened and resealed and opened the compartment to find an unintimidating box. It was small enough to fit into your palm but had a surprising weight to it as the gravity settled. The top pinged off and you were half expecting a creature to fly out.

Is that? No. A Jedi Beacon was resting in the box. That wasn’t good.

You shakily took the small blue device out and dropped the box as it started playing a message.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He looked his normal, pristine, self. That was good, right? “I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi: trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple. That time has passed, and our future is uncertain. Avoid Coruscant. Avoid detection. Be secret... but be strong. We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you always.”

You shook your head, tears forming again, “no.” You pressed play again and he appeared again.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi: trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple. That time has passed, and our future is uncertain. Avoid Coruscant. Avoid detection. Be secret... but be strong. We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you always.”

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi…”

“I’m coming Obi-Wan.”

#obi-wan #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan needs a hug #obi-wan x reader #star wars #Anakin Skywalker #Padme #leia organa #Luke Skywalker #tala #order 66 #Clone Wars #rex #cody

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where-fantasy-meets-reality · 1 year

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“Reflections of A Distant Past” Chapter 3

Masterlist Chapter 2

Pairing: Ben Kenobi x Fem. Reader (second person)

W/C: 7.9K

Warning: Angsty Ben and a lot of it. Other than that nothing that I can think of.

A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize for the disappearance but as I am nearing the end of my grad program and focusing on my thesis, my appearances and updates will be less frequent. I took advantage of the blip of free time that I had during spring break and wrote this. I hope you all enjoy it, I really liked the second half of the chapter and the relationship and world-building that it allowed me to explore. I haven't forgotten about this story (or any of the others) and think about them daily... so one day I will return to continue and finish them. For now, enjoy this surprise update, and as always thank you for the support.

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There was something about the golden sun’s rays of late July that were different than other times of the season.

The last days of the hot summer that came with August, along with the dread that every school child felt, weren’t exactly alive yet. However, neither was the joyful optimism that everyone felt at the beginning of June, the idea of a whole summer filled with possibilities and untapped potential for a good time and everlasting memories.

You remembered those days fondly, having been a child and then a college student that relished the free time that the summer brought them.

Now though, as a business owner, summer vacations only met more customers who came in for their beach reading.

This particular week had been busy but today was quiet; after the rush of the prior days, you weren’t complaining. Running a “one-man show” could be stressful during those times, but you still wouldn’t trade it.

Due to all the foot traffic that the store had experienced, things were looking a little rough. The carpets and floors needed a good vacuum and sweeping, and the shelves needed to be reorganized (people had a bad habit of just putting a book down anywhere) and dusted. And you needed to prepare for the inventory that would arrive in the next few days.

Grabbing the feather duster, you decided to get to work on the shelves first. Walking to the speaker that was kept on the back counter behind the register, you put it on and opened up the music app on your phone. Cranking up the music a tad bit louder than you should have, you started cleaning.

It was after the lunch rush and before the after-work rush. If you got one customer an hour during this time, especially in the summer, you’d be very lucky.

Therefore, taking some time to self-indulge in a great playlist on shuffle while you cleaned would be more than okay.

You were about halfway through “100 years” by Five for Fighting when you heard the little belle on the door jingle.

“....I’m 33 for a moment….” you were singing along to the song.

As you were still singing along you turned toward the entrances of the store. “Hi welcome…”

Ben Kenobi stood by the counter, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans casually. He had on a dark green t-shirt today that contrasted so nicely from his mesmerizing blue eyes. “Hi, Emma.”

Oh… that accent stopped you in your tracks every single time. If you were going to start interacting with him more, you were going to have to do better at preparing yourself for stuff like this… even the small stuff, like his accent.

“Hey Ben….How are you?” You asked as your brushed your hair out of your face. Before he could answer you reached into your pocket and grabbed your phone lowering the music.

“That’s an interesting song….100 years right….” He jutted his chin out toward the phone, indicating to the music.

“Yeah….an oldie but a goodie….”

Ben’s smile widened with understanding.

“....I remember when it came out, I used to listen to it nonstop, literally.”

“Haha, oh yeah, how come?” Walking towards him you leaned against the counter, resting all your weight on one arm.

His eyes broke contact with yours and he bounced nervously on his feet as if your question made him feel uncomfortable.

You were starting to notice a slight pattern with him, anytime he was asked an overly personal question, he shifted the topic of conversation or he shied away from it.

Which left you with two observations. 1) he was either extremely insecure and shy or 2) Something had happened in his past and he didn’t like answering questions about himself because of it…or he couldn’t talk about it.

Judging by how this man carried himself, you were betting it was the second theory….which only deepened your burning curiosity about this intriguing individual.

“Ahhh…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “...You know how it is when you are young, you latch onto a song and just wear it out without understanding what it's really all about….I’m sure you did that as a young one.”

Nodding your head animatedly, you smiled brightly. “Oh yeah, that’s for sure. My parents would beg me to find a new song sometimes because they were tired of hearing the same one over again….that was the summer they caved and got me a walkman.”

When he smiled, a real genuine smile, you could tell because it reached his eyes and changed his whole expression. Gone was the standoff-ish shy person and the confident, warm and sincere person that Ahsoka had described him to be was in front of you.

“Anyways, that was a long time ago….I assume you are here for the book?”

He gave you a tight head nod. “Yes ma’am, I sure am….. I apologize for not answering your call, I was unavoidably detained.”

Circling behind the counter, you waved your hand where he could see it. “Not to worry Ben, most people don’t answer their phones these days. At this point, I expect to get people’s voicemails and then am stunned if they pick up.”

Grinning, he now leaned on the counter with both arms. “I will bare that in mind.”

Rising, you placed the box on the counter. “There we are….the collector’s version of A Study In Scarlet….just give me one second to update the store’s inventory, saying that you picked up the book….” glancing at him sideways, your lip perked up in a crooked smile, “...not that I would forget you stopping by, I just like to be thorough.”

“Of course….This business is important to you, and I wouldn’t want to see it disrupted by me….but I shall indulge in the fact, with your permission of course, that my stopping by is a memorable event.”

You were blushing, you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“Of course it is.” You muttered, daring not to move your eyes away from the screen. “Alright, all set there….now let’s switch over here, I’ll cash you out, and then your good to go.”

“I can’t thank you enough for going the extra mile and ordering this for me….as I said to you last week, this book means a great deal to me, and there are many fond memories attached to it…I greatly appreciate it.”

Punching in the amount he owed you into the register, you shrugged your shoulders. “It is my pleasure Ben. That’s part of the services we offer…if there is ever any book out there that you want that I don’t have in stock, I am more than willing to help it get into a reader’s hands in any way I can.”

When you looked up from the register, about to tell him his total, you caught him staring at you.

“Kind, witty, helpful, and beautiful….is there no limit to the qualities you possess?”

Pursing your lips, you ignored him with a smile and gave him the total.

Reaching into his back pocket, he grabbed his wallet and pulled his credit card out.

As you swiped the card and closed out the transaction you finally gave him an answer. “Well thank you…..but you flatter me way too much….”

Handing him the receipt and his card, you noticed how his fingers diligently brushed against yours. His skin was incredibly warm again.

About to comment on it, you decided against it. You didn’t want to bombard him with too many questions and you knew that he was not big on talking about himself so you didn’t bring it up.

Ben put his receipt in his pocket and his credit card back into his wallet. He sighed as he finished. “Well, I guess this is it then….unless I just decide to come back tomorrow and order the rest of the Sherlock Holmes collection.”

You put your hands in mock surrender, “hey, I don’t tell you how to spend your money but I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it…seeing you is always a pleasure.”

“Shit.” that last part had slipped out.

Yet, to your delight, he didn’t seem put off by it. His smile only grew brighter.

Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his phone. Typing in a passcode, he briefly looked up. “Why don’t I get your number if that’s alright with you….that way if there are any other books I choose to order, I can be in touch with you easily.”

Not bothering to say anything, you practically grabbed his phone out of his hands and created a contact for yourself.

Ben arched an eyebrow as you were typing furiously. “Do you have an out-of-state number?”

“Nope. I am giving you both the number to the store and my personal cell…I don’t have a house phone or I’d give you that too…that way whenever book inspiration strikes, you can find me.”

“Perfect.” His voice was warm and soft.

Taking his phone back from you, he picked up the package from the counter. “Seriously Emma…Thank you again.”

Walking out from around the counter, you smiled ear-to-ear. “As I said before, it was my pleasure Ben. Just promise not to be a stranger, okay?”

A twinkle passed through his ocean-colored eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ben sat on the front steps of the old craftsman-style house, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was quiet, a sweet-smelling summer evening and the stars were sparkling in the vast, inky-colored sky.

He loved to sit on the porch at night and look at the stars. Growing up in London, stars were something he only caught glimpses of, the city fog and smog always covering the sky in thick blankets. But here….now…he took every opportunity he could to sit and enjoy their beauty. It also helped that this was the space and time he used to clear his head and center himself…a self-check-in type thing. Being alpha, a clear head was an important thing to have… fogginess or uncertainty could have unintended consequences or cause other members to be restless.

On the nights when there was no deep brooding that was he being done, he still came to this place just to enjoy the agreeable weather and the outdoors.

Sometimes he brought a book or a crossword puzzle. On rare occasions, an audiobook…although that was not his favorite option, as he felt it distorted from the beautiful sounds that outdoors had to offer.

Tonight though, he just sat in silence, pensively staring at the sky, enjoying everything the natural world had to offer.

Crickets chirped to their own melody and in the distance, the owls joined in chorus with their soft hoots.

Every so often, a firefly would pass by, glowing brightly.

The moon was still and large, a silvery glowing orb that hung menacingly in the night sky….well, for him it was menacing.

Before, like every kid in the 19th century, the moon was one of the world’s greatest mysteries and wonders…. and just looked really darn cool.

But now….for him, the moon represented something completely different.

Scoffing at the orb, he shifted and leaned against the white wooden collum that was attached to the red brick front steps.

For a pack headquarters, the house wasn’t much by any means. A lot of werewolf alphas he knew lived in large, grand houses that were big enough for their whole packs to live in if they needed to.

Yet, that wasn’t what Ben wanted, and additionally, he already lived with his entire pack. Any closer and the four of them would start snarling at each other due to dominance issues. Packs like to be close and tight-knit, but a wolf still needs their freedom to run.

This time around, when they had moved into town, he had picked the house they were to live in. He had chosen an older craftsman home that was built in 1912, one of those Sears home catalog houses that had come in a package with the precut lumber and everything needed to assemble.

At 4,000-ish square feet, a three-car garage, four bedrooms, and two floors, she was pretty much perfect in his eyes. A double wooden front door with a large, beautiful front porch, lots of big pretty windows, and made out of sturdy wood and stone, it had not taken him much to convince the others that this should be the place they settle down in this time.

All these years later, with some modern upgrades, the house was still standing soundly. Sure, it creaked now and again, and sometimes the wifi had issues, but he appreciated her quality and her charm. It also reminded him of the simpler times he was desperate for.

And, at the end of the day, the house was four walls and a roof that kept them safe, warm, and together. It wasn’t large or grand, but just right for a pack of four unsuspecting werewolves who wanted to go unnoticed in the world they lived in. And, it was a heck of a lot better than some of the other places they had lived in…by a long shot…

The location had been perfect too. They were right on the edge of town, but not so far out in the boonies where getting to the city was a hassle. The house sat on a decent size of land, enough for them to have more than enough privacy.

Ben sighed as swished the contents of his mug around. Checking his watch, he realized he had been sitting out there for a while…which would explain why his coffee had gone cold.

He gave a “hmp” as his mind went back to the original reason that brought him outside with nothing but his thoughts.

But before he could too lost in his own thoughts, from inside the house Ben could hear footsteps approaching the door, and by the gate of the person walking and their sent, he already knew who it was. He took a deep breath to center himself in preparation.

The door swung open quickly.

“Crying out loud Ben….How loudly are you going to brood out here? Any more of it and I’m going to stage a full-scale pack intervention.”

Anakin stood in the doorway, half hanging out of it, looking at his oldest friend who hadn’t even bothered to turn around and acknowledge him.

Ben chuckled softly. “I haven’t even said a word.” His voice was calm and soft, communicating to Anakin that hadn’t been rattled by his intrusion.

He heard the door click closed and Anakin’s footsteps about a half second before the man sat down next to him.

“Yeah, well that’s not what the pack bonds say…I can feel and hear half of your thoughts remember?”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Don’t remind me,” he groaned.

Anakin shifted and leaned his back against the stones that made up the side of the house. “Seriously….why all the moodiness? She’s a girl, not a banshee….”

Ben just choose to stare into his coffee cup and ignore the comment.

Nudging the other man’s foot with his, Anakin inclined his head. “Come on, you definitely need to talk to someone…let it be me… you are always there for me, let me return the favor….Plus…” he pursed his lips, “I think I’m the only person that can help….”

Ben gave a loud sigh, allowing the breath he had been holding in to escape and causing his shoulders to relax. Out of the corner of his eye could see the bright blue eyes of his second beaming at him. Finally smiled. “Oh, alright….fine….Yes….You know me pretty well at this point…and you do have a lot more relationship experience than I do….”

“And I’m a werewolf,” Anakin said pointing his index finger in the air.

Slightly nodding his head up and down, he continued not to look at Anakin. “That too.”

A silence fell over them as both men sat leaning against opposite sides of the house, one continuing to swirl the contents of his coffee cup in his hand, the other expectantly looking at the other man, waiting for him to say something and open up.

Even though it was not his intention, Ben was really starting to irk Anakin with the silent treatment.

“Well?!” He huffed with a wave of his hands.

“Well, what?!” Ben sighed defensively, his accent more British than he meant to be.

The younger man (although they physically looked the same age) pursed his lips into a straight line. “...Ben….You’ve got something on your mind…and I know it’s got to do with several things but the girl is a big part of the angst….. so just start from the beginning and skip the “I hate being a werewolf part” because I am well versed in your version of that internal battle.”

Finally turning toward him, Ben looked at him with an expression Anakin couldn’t initially place. “You never hated it or struggled with it…..being this monster?”

His voice was quite like he was ashamed to ask such a question.

“Not for a second…I choose this remember?…and I don’t consider myself a monster”

“Because of me…You choose this lifestyle because I corrupted you to it…” Ben huffed irritatedly.

Anakin bobbed his head back and forth in thought. “Debatable….arguable…but ultimately…I don’t think it was all you so don’t give yourself all the credit….I mean, you raised me, took me in when I was a 10-year-old orphan on the streets….so yeah, there was that connection…as a kid, I got to watch you run around and do all these cool things as a wolf that I couldn’t wait to do and wanted to do so badly”

“I wouldn’t call them cool” Ben whispered under his breath

“….and when the time came…the thought of getting to spend eternity as a supernatural creature with my best friend…well…no brainer…” Anakin spoke to his friend.

Ben shook his head. “I have never once felt that way, ever.” His expression glum.

Anakin opened his mouth and closed it, thinking before he said something.

“....I think the way it happened to you has everything to do with your thoughts and emotions tied to being a werewolf….and honestly…I think if I was in your situation…I might feel that way too…”

Raising his eyebrows and looking back at his cup again, Ben murmured, “...at least it’s not only me who came to that conclusion…”

“No it’s not….but what does all that have to do with Emma? If you have felt that way from the first day, why is that particular emotional battle conflicting you more so than usual….and whats her connection?”

Wide-eyed, Ben turned to Anakin, “Seriously?.... It has everything to do with her….”

His head flew back and Anakin let out a tiered groan, “Oh please, tell me the connection isn’t “I’m a werewolf, and she is a human, it’s dangerous crap…”

Ben scoffed at Anakins imaptientness.

“....Come on man!…you were human once too, you still look like one… People can be attracted to something different…..it’s not so bad…. Padme was a human when I met her….”

“Something I was expressly against,” Ben mumbled firmly as he took a sip of his coffee.

“And Im so glad I didn’t listen to you!… She ended up being my mate…..think about for a second Ben….a once-in-a-billion chance for our kind, something that some of us never find….I found my mate….and had I listened to your sour self, I would have lost that opportunity.”

“Emma is not my mate, so that argument does not apply….” His eyes stared off into the distance as if he was waiting for something to appear in the middle of the street by magic.

“How do you know?” Anakin fired back, growing more impatient.

“Because she’s not.”

Leaning forward, Anakin moved into Ben’s vision, settling in for a long lecture. “Are you so sure? You’ve told me you just say things around her that you don’t mean to say, that she relaxes you and makes you comfortable in a way that no humane ever has, before or after your change….she gives you a feeling of hope like everything is okay in the world….That your wolf responds to her positively….”

Ben just shrugged his shoulders.

“Ugghhhh!!!!....I got news for you pal, anytime that thing inside us responds to anyone positively, they’re a keeper….Our wolves are predators by nature, they don’t like people that aren’t pack and he likes her….add all that together and it sounds like a very, very strong match, or…just maybe…you found your mate…”

Ben’s shoulders sunk lower and his head dropped. “...But I had someone already who I loved….I was engaged….”

He turned his head away so Anakin couldn’t see the glossy shine that had formed on his eyes or his lip quiver. It was a foolish attempt though… through the pack bonds not only could Anakin feel Ben’s burst of emotion, but he could feel the intense sadness creeping over him.

A hand touched Ben’s shoulder. “.....Ben…. it has been over 130 years, your devotion is admirable…but….I think you are okay to love again…I don’t think there is a person on this earth or beyond it who would fault you…I bet if you could ask Shopie what she thought, she would tell you to go for it…”

Ben openly flinched at the mention of her name…He didn’t often speak it out loud… but he didn’t answer Anakin; mainly because the younger man kept going.

“....And….” Anakin stiffened his stance, braced for a verbal or physical attack…. Or possibly both depending on how Ben took the next thing he said…. “...You know you weren’t actually engaged, right?….you had only bought the ring just that day…You never actually proposed.”

He winced, expecting the wolf to take over the man and react violently…

but he had braced for an attack that never came.

Ben instead was looking up a the sky, his stance calm, his breathing even, and his eyes were the crystal blue that belonged to the man, not the golden color of the wolf. When he did speak his voice was hoarse…“But in my mind, I was already committed to her…I had been mentally for some time….I had known her since she was born, our families were always together…it was always hinted that one of my brothers or I would marry someone in their family….”

The silence hung between them, like an oppressive blanket attempting to smother them both.

Collecting his courage, Anakin broke the silence. “Did she ever marry?”

For all the time he had known Ben, he never discussed his human life at length because it always brought him great pain. It had literally taken Anakin about 100 years to get Ben to give fuller, more intricate depictions of his life before the change.

Ben shrugged his shoulders. “I do not know….I assume….I never bothered to follow up on what happened to anyone from old life because…well….because…”

He frowned. “...I hope she did, as much as that stings…she didn’t deserve to be alone because of my fate and stupidity…She was so wonderful…no one that wonderful deserves a lifetime of loneliness and servitude.”

“So why should you be punished? Why should you suffer a fate you wouldn’t wish on her?”

Ben was silent, trying to control his sadness and growing anger that was fueled by bitterness. The wolf wanted to spring out of him and fight with his second in command until he learned his palace, to never question his alpha again….

But that's not who Ben was….not the man, who strived to keep alive every day. The human Ben was open to different opinions, diplomatic and understanding, he would want the input and advice of someone as loyal as Anakin.

Stilling himself, he eventually came back to his original argument.

“….We are monsters…. Even you have to admit there is a degree of danger that comes with dating a human….Around me, she is a liability to herself and she doesn’t know it, and she could become a target for so many other things…”

“That we can protect her from,” Anakin interjected.

Ben eyed him strongly. “We’re not a big pack, we can easily be outnumbered.”

“And that’s because of you Mr. Alpha.” Anakin snapped.

Ben shot him another warning look, now a hint of gold in his eyes, and Anakin scooted back a bit and raised his hands.

“Hey, I’m just saying…we’ve been around a long time” his head gestured back and forth between the two of them… “ …even longer for you, as much as you hate being what you are now, you’ve met a lot of others who are just like us…You could have made our pack a lot bigger and more powerful, not that I’m complaining, I like it just us…”

“I am not a leader, not when it comes to being a werewolf….on a good day I am not even overly joyed at my situation and my anger towards it is something I’ve never let go of…”

Anakin reached out and put a hand on Ben’s shoulder again, attempting to change the direction of the conversation. “I think you should go for it with Emma and let go of this pain….We would have your back no matter what and we want you to be happy, as your family and as your pack..…. Plus, you know what they say, happy alpha, happy pack….”

Despite Anakin’s attempt at a joke to break the tension, Ben was still solemn.

“I’m just so afraid of what could be…what potential dangers live on the horizon….and so ashamed of what I am…I feel that she deserves better…I can never give her a normal life….I am afraid that my very association with her will bring her harm…or us harm…a human can be a problem for a wolf pack if she ends up connected to the pack bonds and something happens to her….”

“Ben, you're spiraling….first off…asking her out on one date isn’t going to change the fate of the universe. Secondly, we’ve done this all before, with Padme…This is the same scenario, she was a human, and I was a werewolf…. we made it work and we can do it again, we already know what to expect..… Just think, we didn’t even have Ahsoka when we brought Padme in, and now we have an extra wolf fo….”

Ben interjected. “Yeah, but you changed Padme within a year and then you two got married…”

“So, we can do the same to her if she wants…” Anakin exclaimed with excitement.

Yet….by the time Anakin realized that there was the potential opportunity to change Emma into a werewolf, he remembered that was the wrong thing to say at this moment…. but it had been too late.

Ben had perfected control over his inner beast a long time ago, but at Anakin’s suggestion, the yellow that shined through his eyes would make anyone think that was a lie.

“NO!” he growled, the sound coming from low and deep in his chest. “She will never be what we are...”

That wasn’t Ben talking….that was his wolf…..

Inside a werewolf, there would always be a dominance battle between the human soul of the person, and the wolf…..Kind of like two people sharing the same space but being connected as one… Even the wolves who were very old and considered themselves to have “dominated” their beast still had to deal with another presence inside of them all the time.

Sometimes a trigger, like what Anakin had said to Ben, could cause the wolf to rise to the surface in an attempt to dominate the situation.

That was never a good thing, that was when werewolves were the most unpredictable.

Very slowly, Anakin backed away slowly realizing that this time he really had ticked his superior off. A smarter person would have taken that as the cue to stop pushing the topic….but Anakain never considered himself that person. He was as dominant as his alpha…possibly even more so. His desire not to lead and stay carefree was what caused his master to assume the role that he had.

Unlike Ben, he was a realist. Anakin kept his voice and body language neutral… “Ben…if you get close to her and you two do…you know, really fall in love..she may want the change so she can be around for…well as long as you are…Padme wanted it when we decided to marry…who are we to stop her….”

“NO!” Ben snarled loudly as the cup in his hands shattered. Coffee and blood covered his hands as the pieces of the broken ceramic clanged on the brick steps as they hit the ground.

The door from the house opened and Padme came outside and handed Ben a wet towel for his hands. She knew bandages weren’t necessary. In a few minutes, the cuts would scab and by the time he went to bed, his hands would be completely healed.

She took the spot Anakin had been occupying and sat down, leaning her shoulder against the house like he had. “As much as I know you don’t want to hear it Ben, Annie is right….I wanted to be with the man I fell in love with forever…his version of forever.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“....And I was against that….He took your life away Padme…” Ben snarled as he wiped his hands. “...I will not ruin her life that way….and turn her into some kind of vicious creature that she’ll be constantly at war with…no, never.”

Padme was an omega…always the lowest ranking member of any pack, but by no means submissive. Because of her status in the pack, she wasn’t a credible threat to Ben’s wolf and his dominance, thereof she was probably the only person who could or should be talking to him right now about this topic or with him in this state. The fact that she was married and mated to the pack's second….was something that could be ignored at the moment.

Werewolves were tricky. They were very aggressive creatures who liked tradition and hierarchy. Yet, due to the human that he was, Ben had worked hard to negotiate with his wolf and do things differently than other packs did…well, not so different that it was new… but it was enough that it took the wolf half of him some getting used to.

The human side of Ben wasn’t a possessive, aggressive, or territorial person, the opposite really. But Ben was dominant, even as a man. At first, the battle between man and beast had been a brutal one, an inner war that raged and wore Ben out and had taken him years to win.

Eventually, the two beings learned to get along and came to agreements on what each would tolerate.

That was one of the problems in Ben’s pack had that no other pack had….or at least out of the ones that he had come across.

All four pack members were dominant beings, making their wolves more of the leadership type.

Their rankings in the pack were split by hairs; making it very easy for one member of the group to overstep their boundaries…something that could be very dangerous for a werewolf.

For example, Ahsoka technically outranked Padme in dominance, but because Anakin and Padme were married and he was the pack’s second in command, Padme took her rank from her husband.

Sometimes it caused problems, as there were so many dominant people in a small social group. But for the sake of family, they all had learned to control their wolves and stick together as a unit. At the end of the day, pack was important.

“Do you still feel that way now Ben? Are you still against me being in the pack?” Padme's voice was a whisper as her warm eyes stared at the sky.

Anakin smirked, he loved how his wife was so quietly clever, he could see the trap she was laying for Ben, who was too busy brooding and cleaning his bloodied hands to notice.

“Of course not Padme…You’re Anakin’s mate and you’ve become like a sister to me…I value you and your company…I love you…” He said without skipping a beat, his attention focusing on his task had allowed him to speak from the heart.

Leaning forward, she kissed Ben on the cheek, a slightly dangerous thing to do with his wolf so close to the surface; but she trusted him. Another dumb thing for her to do.

Never trust a human whose wolf is that close to the surface.

“And I love you too…You are a brother and alpha all in one….You are my family as much as you are Anakin’s. And, because of that, I want to see you happy…Just give it a chance Ben, if it doesn't work out, we move….”

He sighed. “I don’t want to move just now, not again…Ahsoka just finished her junior year of high school and is about to go into her senior year…”

Anakin rolled his eyes, “Yeah for…what…the thousandth time?”

Padme giggled. “I think she’s gone through 15 high school graduations…Sure, she’s attended more years than that, but she only made it to actual graduation 15 times…”

“Exactly,” Anakin said as he shifted and put his hand on Padme’s shoulder. “If we move I think she will be okay…”

Ben shook his head. “No, a responsible alpha looks after his pack in all areas….she has friends this time, she’s getting good grades for the first time in two decades, and she’s taking care of herself during full moons…. She has a job at the cafe and she enjoys it… she’s fitting in socially, which historically has been hard for her to do…and she really likes it here….”

He shook his head. “No, I put my pack first….”

“And your pack wants you to be happy…Yes…there is no denying that Ahsoka would find it hard to leave, but there’s nothing saying we can’t come back in a year or two… it’s not like she couldn’t stay in touch with the friends she made…she was always good at surviving by herself…Plus….it’s not like she’ll be able to keep up with them…Eventually, we’ll have to move or they will enter into a phase of life that she can not…” Padme’s voice trailed off as she considered the eventual reality.

“But she knows this.” Anakin butted in hoping to save the conversation from becoming sad again. “She was around way before she joined our pack….She’s had connections with people that she’s had to let go of and she knows what to expect…. it's a fact that every werewolf comes to terms with.”

Ben looked at the couple. “Sometimes I forget that she survived 40 years on her own…without us…at times she just…looks so young and helpless….”

As if being summoned by magic, Ahsoka’s tiny indigo-blue Toyota Corolla pulled into the driveway.

One perk of having a mechanic in the family was that Anakin was able to fix any car that was needed or wanted. While the car may not be the newest or the prettiest and they could definitely afford better, Ahsoka had fallen in love with the color and spunk of the little car, which she ended up demanding that her older “brother” turn it into a reliable car.

Stepping out into the warm summer air, she took off the cap that had the coffee house logo on it. Her blue and white blond striped hair shimmered in the moonlight. She looked at them skeptically. “What are you all doing out here? Or are you waiting for something to fall out of the sky?... Which you don’t have to cuz, here I am.” She said with a wide grin.

Anakin smiled and gave her a small wave. “No, we’ve been sitting out here a while despite having heard your car about a mile down the road…I know the way that engine purs anywhere.”

“Ugh, weirdo.” Ahsoka teased as she walked up to the steps of the house.

Looking at the towel in Ben’s now scabbed hands, she became suspicious of why they were really sitting out there. “You okay? You were brooding pretty badly about 45 mins ago..”

Ben threw his head back frustratedly. “Not you too,” he mumbled grumpily.

Shifting her backpack and putting a hand on her hip she gave him a full wave of hr “tude” as Anakin called it. “...Hey, it’s cuz we care….You were the only alpha I agreed to join up with after decades of being a lone wolf, remember that.” Ahsoka crossed her arms. “...Lots of macho creeps had tried to get me into their packs, but I choose you three misfits.”

“That’s cuz you love us.” Padme beamed from below.

“Wholeheartedly.” Ahoksa winked at her.

Turning back to Ben again, she addressed him. “If this is about Emma, you already know how I feel. I am all for it…I really like her and I’ve gotten to know her in the almost two years she’s consistently been coming by the cafe… she is a good soul….”

“Which exactly is the problem.” Ben rasped, to everyone’s collected groans of frustration.

“Oh please Ben, if she wasn’t you wouldn’t be interested. You’ve never even considered anyone else but Sophie…yes, I know…you were “engaged” to her all those years ago, I think you are overdue for something good..…and Emma has dated her fair share of losers, she is overdue for something good as well…” Ahsoka snapped... “I don’t know…,” she threw her hands in the air, “do what you want, but I’d like to see the two of you make each other happy.”

She leaned forward and grabbed his shoulders, looking her alpha in the eye. “The girl quotes Sherlock Holmes readily and owns a bookshop….what more of a green light do you need?”

If Ben was a different type of alpha, Ahsoka’s actions could have had a very different effect and result on the situation…it could have been seen as a challenge or an act of aggression….but Ben wasn’t “that alpha” ….or that type of man.

In fact, it made everyone giggle, even him.

Stepping away from him, she rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to bed, work starts early tomorrow….don’t brood too loudly or please shield your thoughts…Oh, better yet, here's a wild idea…. JUST GO CALL HER.”

“Good night Ahsoka.” Ben drolled.

She shook her head as she maneuvered the steps in between everyone.

“Oh!” She turned around as she reached the door,, “I almost forgot…my friend Hera is having a sleepover Sat. night with some of the girls from the school, can I go?”

“Do you need to ask?” Ben turned to look at her, sporting an amused expression.

Ahsoka blushed. “Not really, no...but…I like to…it just…feels right when I dot.”

Everyone smiled softly. She may be 83 years old in actuality, but there was a part of her that would always be the 17-year-old girl she looked like…..it also meant that after all these years, the lone wolf was starting to enjoy her pack bonds.

“I have no objections,” Anakin whispered.

“Just promise to be safe and keep your phone with you.” Padme pointed her finger at her.

“I promise.” Ahsoka blurted out as her eyes darted to Ben, who as alpha really had the final say.

“Who else is going?” He questioned.

He already knew his answer, but he just wanted some details…sneaky dad-type stuff.

“These two other girls from 4th-period math last year…Sabine, and Bariss….they’re really nice actually… it’s refreshing for people from this generation…”

Ben nodded his head slowly. “Will her parents be home?”

Ahsoka’s eyebrow arched. “....Yes they will, her dad is kinda strict in fact….but I can promise you, no matter the level of harmless mischief we get up to…I am in no danger whatsoever…Trust me, this isn’t that sort of group.”

This was true…if anything, Ahsoka was a danger to all of them. But he knew her and trusted the level of control she had over her wolf…he just liked to make sure she was safe.

Softening his expression, he smiled a toothless smile, his lips pressed together.

“I’m okay with you going as well….Just remember to at least text us before you go to bed so we know everything is all well and good… the sleepover will be taking place the day after tomorrow and the moon will still be relatively full…”

Ashoka squealed before Ben could finish. She leaped forward and hugged him from behind. “Thanks dad! I promise I will.”

Darting into the house and running up the stairs, she hadn’t even fully closed the door behind her. Ben blushed at the term of endearment as he shifted on the steps.

He would never be her father, but it wouldn’t stop him from looking at her like his daughter.

Nodding towards the open door, Ben eyed Padme and Anakin. “See…perfect example, Ahsoka at a sleepover…There was a time when we couldn’t get her to even talk to the other students at lunch…let alone sleep over at their house.”

Anakin surrendered in defeat and got up to go into the house without saying anything. He had enough of trying to persuade Ben for one evening.

Padme scooted closer to her alpha. “I understand, and I agree…I am just as thrilled as you are to see it…but all that means is that everyone is finally secure. Anakin and I are always going to be okay so long as we have each other…Ahsoka is blossoming…so that now means you are the only one left to finally become settled…you have to take care of yourself every now and then…”

She leaned in and kissed the top of his head. “Just be patient with yourself and be open…give her a text and then actually give her a chance…even if you go slow and become friends first, a special friend is a nice thing to have if that's all it ends up being.”

Knowing that Padmes’s words were true in the sense that she believed them and meant them only in goodwill, he decided to put the topic away for the evening, as he knew they weren’t going to reach a unanimous consensus, at least not tonight. For the time being, they would all silently have to agree to disagree.

He smiled. “Ture…thank you, darling, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Don’t stay out here too long.” She muttered as she went inside and closed the door gently behind her.

Ben snorted a short laugh. This is the one place that would be quiet if he stayed home tonight. Ahsoka was most likely either watching tv or listening to music before she went to sleep…and Padme and Anakin were…well… he knew their nighttime routine before they went to bed.

The joys of supernatural hearing and a small house.

If he stayed outside he would be able to actually think, and he certainly had been given a lot to think about.

He debated changing forms and going for a run to clear his mind….but he knew it would only cause him to dwell further…

Maybe his pack mates had been right.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ben plopped down on his bed, staring at the snow-colored ceiling. Having given up and tired of fighting his restless energy, the nighttime jog he went for around the neighborhood in human form had been what he needed.

He had been agonizing and going back and forth over this decision with himself since everyone had retired for the evening. After coming back, he showered and retreated to the solidarity of his room.

It was 9:00 PM…he knew he needed to do this before it became any later and he appeared rude or awkward.

And waiting till tomorrow wasn’t an option.

He’d be tossing and turning throughout the night, restless as all hell if he put it off any more than he already had… and he had a long day of research ahead of him tomorrow at work.

Picking up his phone, he opened the texting app and choose the correct contact.

The blinking cursor taunted him as it was impatiently blinking, waiting for him to type what he wanted it to say.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he knew it was now it never….he had come to the conclusion that until he just did it and took the leap of faith, he wouldn’t know how it all go.

“What if?” would haunt him. That if he didn’t do it and never found out what could have been between them….then that would really add to his continuous self-loathing and guilt…and drive his curiosity absolutely crazy.

What he had told Anakin was true, he had felt engaged to Sophie long before he bought the ring… in his mind, he had been Shopie’s future husband and she had been his future wife since he started seriously courting her.

That’s how it was back then….You only made serious advances at people you intended to marry.

Even back then when the gesture of a fan or an invitation for a dance meant so much more, Ben wasn’t the type to string girls along or court just to give society something to gossip about….He had believed all the hubbub that had been drilled into him as a child, that marriage was permanent and very serious.

But that had been in the 1870s-80s…..The rules of courtship and dating changed so drastically since then, and he had paid so little attention to that scene after he changed.

Sometimes if he wondered if he could even do it, date like a modern man?

He had 130-ish years to think about something that left him hollow and broken on the inside. How different things were then compared to now…what his romance was like…

But did he really know Shopie…beyond the ideals of a Victorian courtship that is? Did he know her the way couples knew each other today when they got engaged?

No, he didn’t.

He and Sophie had never even been alone longer than 5 minutes without either of their siblings or parents present, or some other third party….he only knew about the person she presented herself to be in public….Not that he imagined the real Sophie was much different…..

As children they had spent more time together in closer contact…it was until they became older that society's rules and expectations for their friendship “changed”....but did that mean she did? The little girl he knew was kind, intelligent, and loved to laugh…the young woman had seemed to be all those things but so much more….reserved.

Being a historian had given him the opportunity and excuse to study the world in which he had grown up in through the eyes of history. From a civilization that advanced and moved on in every way…and he was further in a unique position….he had his own memories that he could compare against books, records, personal accounts….

What had seemed like a rational dating practice in 1885 now seemed obscured….people back then were flying on a wing and a prayer compared to couples today, who were allowed to be themselves….

He had spent 130 years thinking about this, more than any human could have spent.

9:05 P.M.

Now even the clock was taunting him.

Everyone was right….

He had reasoned with himself to the point of madness, this choice was never going to get any easier to make… it was simply now or never…do or do not….

he knew what he needed to….what he wanted to do.

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