they became real friends over ice cream

(OKAY. I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY (i got REALLY carried away.) AND NOW I WILL PROVIDE VERY FEW INFO ON SABOSAN HISTORY AS EARLY AS 2014.)

sabosan existing on here since at least 2017 is crazy

(it's ask blogs and im lazy to know the lore but all ik is that sabo and sanji have kids while sanji is in extreme denial abt being gay)

i wanna know how far back sabosan goes... like at leasT 2015 or 2016??? (anime timeline) and maybe 2014 (manga timeline) idk im just guessing bc i dont know what year sabo returned so

OK BUT THE SLIM CHANCE THAT SABOSAN BECAME A THING LIKE ALMOST A DECADE AGO DRIVES ME INSANE I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WAIT

on pixiv in the sabosan tag (サボサン) the oldest works on there is from 2015. (i mean when u look up サボサン you get this cactus mascot which is p hilarious)

i theorize that sabosan became recognized because of zou/wci. bc thats when we learn about sanji's history. i notice that it seem to be more recognized by a few fans as early as 2016 (when wci started)

so those big brained individuals were onto something then. they saw two blonde characters that shared similar histories and went. "wait a minute. i can cook something with this"

and you know what sanji's good at? taking any ingredients and making something amazing out of it. thats what early sabosan fans did

there are Very Little content of them/i cant read japanese and i just mostly find the cactus mascot, but they were there. at Least as early as sabo's return. and at that time, fans did not receive sanji's past. they just took these guys like barbie dolls and made them kiss... anyway i need them to meet and i want to see the longtime fans react as theyve waited nearly a decade for that very moment

(kinda doubtful but let me dream!!!)

OKAY ANOTHER UPDATE (YES IM TYPING EVERYTHING IN ONE POST) i learned how to search dates on the bird app once more and. im seeing posts from jpn about sabosan !!!

one of my favorite ones:

the people understanding since 2016... that sanji goes well with ASL brothers :'D

ok found another tweet (and the users are still active !!) and translation seems butchered so im not gonna share but from what i could understand, this other user also likes sanji with ASL... this is amazing. LIKE im aware of the impact acesan had, especially bc of the anime including ace in alabasta (i understand deeply. i mean have you SEEN the way ace acted around sanji⁉️⁉️ lighting his cigarette... smirking at him when sanji turns his back... i know what you are. they Definitely spent an entire night (or more) alone together <3) but for sabo to be included to since this long ago, esp considering the two never met?!?? and the one connection is being royal blood...

again i cannot include everything, esp long posts bc the translation gets butchered but aaahh just ppl talk about the pairing, any potentials about it makes me happy... and gives me hope for the agenda to spread wider lol. what looks like that has been said is that a couple of people really like pairing sanji with multiple characters, esp ASL... and i understand so well. theres just something about sanji being so shippable

there are also fans speaking to other sanji ships fans, and they ask/say "i want to see your sabosan !!" it's great...

ahahhaa AHAHAHA FOUND ANOTHER POST I CAN SHARE:

sabo POP figure from 2016 (aaah i want it so bad...)

and the suit he wears in this figure, it does look like sanji's fit now that the user mentioned it 👀👀

okay i dug a little more and found another sabosan fan! at first i was unsure as they could be talking about another user or a cactus or something. but as it turns out, they are indeed a sabosan fan! they've said things like "i wish sabosan was more popular"/"i wish for sabosan" and this is dated back in 2016! plus one of my favorite posts (translated into deepL as i had a feeling that twt had butchered the translation and...)

they get it. they got it. as i mentioned earlier, the fans definitely knew what was up when wci happened. THEY WERE COOKING BACK IN 2016!!! which... i believe i should now start digging as early as i can. maybe for zou or dressrosa years!! bc certainly, this pairing was actually talked about during 2016-2017. it was wonderful to see!

oh my goodness... i decided to look from start of 2015 to the end, and so far in late 2015, the same user from the above translation, has been talking about them still! they mentioned sabosan fanworks, and how they read a heartbreaking fic⁉️⁉️ i cant tell you how happy i was to read that. sabosan being a thing and having angst works, even if i can't read them. (never mess with one piece fans, especially if they are fujoshi !! they'll find their ways. im honestly fascinated. i love fandom history if you couldnt tell by this post!)

plus, some fans calling themselves delusional for thinking of this pairing... if only i could be there with you, longtime fan.

and i'll be real here, i dont know of the popularities back then but the comparison of sanji and sabo being nobles are great :] (maybe bc i've just seen ppl being mean to sabo recently 😔)

okay im sure this post is getting wayyy too long so i'll try to wrap up my investigations. bc there are many posts to look through but sabosan being talked about as early as 2015 (as i write this) is just... very joyous news to me ;w;

im sure i will be missing lots of good posts (despite the horrible machine translations) but i am shaking hands with 2015-2017 fans in solidarity... at most 9 years later

!!! GREAT NEWS. 2014 posting!!

original tweet and deepL translation... dated mid december 2014. nearly a whole decade ago. i swear sabosan will go viral, way more than when zou/wci was in progress. im sure of it

i really cant put into words how im feeling or what im really thinking. just know im happy to find fans from 2014 !!

OH MY GOD.

⁉️⁉️⁉️ AUGUST 2014 BTW. and im assuming its supposed to be "sabo started with" or something but... the content. sabosan content. 2014. it's out there. SHAKES YOU. THE CRUMBS (also this user is a sabosan fan and i think acesan fan too as i did see mentjons of them... so this just...)

THEYVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME AAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

NOW IM CURIOUS WITH HOW MANY POSTS IVE BEEN MISSING⁉️⁉️ yall the agenda must spread farther

ASL/sanji mentioned! august 2014

omg again from the same user

shaking your hand in spirit (april 2014!!!)

there have been fans of this pairing as early as april 2014!!!! and have been manifesting for their popularity for awhile 😭😭😭 (plus this user is still active! im not sure if theyre still into one piece but... i hope for the longtime/past fans to see it all soon)

i think my investigation into sabosan history ends here after a long post and hours of searching... unless i somehow find something earlier than april 2014, the earliest moment that sabosan was first talked about was in the year 2014. Q2 2014. back when dressrosa was still ongoing. do you know how insane that is? before wci.

i think we can come to a conclusion that sabosan was a concept as early as 2014 was all becaude of acesan. thats the pattern i noticed. ace/acesan was often mentioned. and i believe it's bc not only are ace and sabo brothers, but bc sabo aimed to eat the mera mera no mi. and if sanji were to meet sabo, sanji would be reminded of his late lover, ace. and the angst potential is so real... sanji looking at sabo... just as a replacement for ace? ouch

i know the fans were having a field day when they learned about sanji's blood family :']

side note: there are likely things lost due to users deactivating or whatnot... and i doubt i'd be able to search via wayback machine. and as much as i dont like pinterest for reposting art, there are pieces of the two ive never seen before

BITE BACK (REPLACED AU) chapter 1

"Good morning everyone!" Diavolo greeted to everyone. "I am happy to announce that there will be a new exchange student! Due to the fact that so far our program has been a huge success I have decided to add another member. She will arrive next week at 6:00am sharp, I expect everyone to treat her with care. That is all for today's meeting."

~couple hours later at the house of lamentation~

" ughh I can't belive a normie is gonna start living with us! I know that I'm a shut in otaku who's useless and have no worth, but still! Even I don't deserve this. " Leviathan complained as he continues to read a limited edition manga he bought titled "ruri-chan's adventure to the cake kingdom volume 9". "what a headache there's already so much people livin' here and now their addin' another one?! Their insane I tell ya INSANE! ." after a couple minutes the room is suddenly filled with complains from the demon brothers as you just quietly think about all the things you could do with the new exchange student.

" SILENCE! "You flinched as lucifer shouted.

" We will be allowing the new student to live here with us, wether you like it or not. Lord Diavolo's orders. Now stop complaing and start preparing for their arrival!". After saying that lucifer began his 10 hour long lecture about how they have to stop complaing so much as you sneakily escaped the scolding.

~after a week~

"hello everyone! My name is Belle, it is a pleasure to meet you guys!" The new student exclaimed as she brought in her belongings. "welcome." Lucifer welcomed her with if not the dullest greeting someone could possibly give.

As time went by Belle actually started getting along with everyone, including you, but one day, you not-so-accidently tripped because of Belle. You looked up to se Belle covering her.....smirk...? Gritting your teeth you furrowed your eyebrows while looking down the ground to avoid anyone seeing your face. calm down, calm down. You thought to yourself. I see how it is. You wanna play like this fine. Let's play this game.

As time went on Belle managed to completely get the brothers on her side and successfully made them cast you away like you're nothing more than a toy they got tired of but you remained calm in fact you haven't shown your face to the brothers for 2 weeks straight! Why? Because your hanging out and basically living in the purgatory with the angels and the demon king's Castle with diavolo and his butler.

~back at the house of lamentation~

"Has anyone seen Mc? I was supposed to hand them a document but their nowhere to be found." Lucifer asked his brothers "no idea- anyways, Belle, wanna go the casino with me?" mammon answered "ehhhhh~ no way! Come to the new salon that opened just last week with me instead! Besides there's no fun watching Mammon loose anyway, isn't that right dear?" Asmo said while pulling Belle closer to him "WHAT DID YA' JUST SAY?!?" Lucifer sighs knowing that he'll get no answer even if he squeezed their empty brains. I'll just have to ask the angels maybe they know something.

.

.

.

.

.

The number you've dialed is unavailable. Please try again later.

"What. I've already called Luke and now not even Simeon is answering my calls, what in the three worlds in going on? I'll just have to call Solomon."

.

.

.

.

"Yo~ Lucifer, well this is unexpected. What's the reason you called me?"

He's not asking me to make with him? How unusual.

"Do you know where Mc is? I have some paper work for them but their nowhere to be found."

"got it. Wait one second"

Rustling noises

"HEY MC!"

"WHAT"

"Lucifer said he got paper works for you but he doesn't know where you are!"

"Tell him to just put it on my desk or something. IM BUSY."

"well you heard them. Just put it on their desk."

--------------------------------------------------

END (bc i got lazy)

Part 2

Hello to anybody reading this uh this entire thing is created out of boredom so yeah it's bound to make a sh*t ton of errors especially since i don't really speak/write English lololol bye bye

with the experience you have now, what is something you usually do when you feel the creative block so bad that it makes you want to drop all your writing during an indeterminate period of time? (Not considering talking to someone because i don't have friends with the same interests as me)

Lately i have been writing consistently but now i am in a point between the overwhelming need to keep creating and the suffocating need to just stop. the last time this happened not a single word was written in over a year xd

oh and im so in love with your writing btw <3

thank you and i'm sorry to hear you're struggling with a creative block, i know the feeling all too well. (there's a span of years between 2013 and 2016 where i didn't write at all.)

while a little break does do good, i know the threshold to getting back to it becomes so high it feels insurmountable. but it sounds like you need to replenish the well, as i like to call it. think of your writing as a well you draw from, and it needs a steady supply of water to be able to sustain you dipping into it for the power and inspiration to keep going. feeding it involves engaging in texts in a different way. for me, that's reading, and a lot. i sometimes feel so parched i have to steamroll thru ten books before i feel like i have it balanced again.

i've made some posts beforehand on how to approach reading as a writer (wish i'd tagged them better), but it boils down to:

make lists of beautiful words and sentences that you like; could you emulate them? could you write them in your style?

how do the writers pull off the tricks you struggle with? for me this is knowing when to just move the scene along, or how to showcase that time has passed. (i did a whole study on this from my fave books and it boiled down to just writing "A day later/Weeks down the line/Three months passed before she/It didn't take more than forty-five minutes to get across town but it felt like moving backwards through time" which was fun to learn)

just reading for fun. cannot be understated. sometimes you just need to be pulled into a story and feel too dazzled to stop and think to be reminded of how delicious writing feels

and yes, this goes for mangas, comics, scripts, movies, tv shows, even game writing imo (visual novels are great fun for how they do dialogue and emotional appeal).

another thing to not lose touch with the writing as a practice but maybe take a little breather from the project is to start a journal. i like this one a lot personally, there's the concept of morning pages where you get up in the morning and write three pages without stopping or overthinking.

this leads into automatic writing, which is about setting a timer (25 mins is a good one i feel, but even 15-10-5 does wonders) and while it ticks, you have to keep writing. yes, even if all you write is the same word over and over, or your thoughts as they come to you. this is a key component exercise at all writing schools i've ever gone to. personally i like to "guide it" so to speak with a prompt, be it a word (Lust, Rose, Name, Echo) or a full sentence ("She didn't like where this was going.") or an image. what this exercise teaches you is to shorten the distance between hand putting the words down and your thoughts as they process and come to you, as well as embracing writing messy and ugly and shitty because you can always come back and fix a half-assed page, but you can't do anything with a blank one.

third and final thing: movement. go outside. look around. if you can, get moving, take in the surroundings. there's no expectation on you to write anything from this, just let the movement and your thoughts be it. whenever i hit creative rut, i go for a walk. the first half hour my brain is quiet and annoyed. then things start moving in there as well. i'll walk all the way down to the sea and look at the waves and back home and process an idea from it. (i do keep the notes app on my phone readily available for this, but a notebook or receipt or post-it notes also work fine.)

like all art, writing is a practice and the actual act of writing is maybe 20-30% of what it is. nourish the well and it will nourish you back.

+ for what it's worth, i also often try to edge in rest days where i don't write. at least two a week. be gentle and forgiving on yourself.

listen its another dazai theory im sorry but he occupies my brain and i cant get him to leave

this ones a bit of a fucking mad one today lmao however, i was re-reading the fifteen light novel and i decided to look deeper into a query i'd always harboured towards one specific part of it, and that's the relationship between dazai and the old boss, so yk, let's get into it lmao

First of all, go check out this post:

it's a really good post, and it makes so many good points! Of course, my point does differ, but that doesn't matter, the quality and content of the post is amazing! Go show some love <333

This post ^^^ is the one that low-key kind of inspired me to make this theory. Anyways, onto the actual post lol.

So, the Previous Boss. A character that we know virtually nothing about, other than the fact that he was assassinated by Mori with Dazai as a witness, he was a savage leader and later became bedridden, to which his orders became chaotic and disorganised and ruthless. This is all that we know so far. So, not really much to go on. But that's why this is a theory :)

To be honest, it's a theory that's kind of canon in a way? Eh, anyways.

One of the number one things that stands out to me that makes me go "Ah! They're connected further than just a witness!" is in Fifteen, where this is said; (SPOILERS FOR FIFTEEN LIGHT NOVEL)

A distorted, crimson haze emerged from the other side of the subspace, and a figure appeared. "There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" It was the old boss floating in the air, wearing a traditional, black robe. "Hey there." Dazai smiled stiffly. "It's been a while. How's your back pain? Your complexion is looking nice. Wasn't it a good thing you died? Boss—no, previous boss."

?!

Like, hello? Ahh, it really gets me going fucking feral when Asagiri throws shit like this in. Love you king <3 So, this is clearly like... something, right? I don't know, maybe I am just pure rambling about nonsense this time. I probably don't make a lot of sense, I'm very much quite ill right now and I didn't get to sleep until like 8am, and even when I did I woke up like 3 hours later. I am very much running on fuck all. Anyways!

Let's go more in depth I guess.

"There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?"

"There... there is a nostalgic face." - Excuse me? Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that when Mori killed him, he was fucking bedridden and probably clinically insane fr. He was not right in the head or the body, and he was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Once again, I'm no expert, but something tells me that he couldn't see Dazai across the fucking room, hiding in the fucking shadows. Fuck, we didn't even see him until the panel of him just... was there. Jumpscare fr. And again, as well as him being pretty hidden and quite a ways away, the Previous Boss was very ill, mans probably had fucking cataracts or something. My point is, there's a diminutive chance that he saw Dazai in the room. Plus, his remaining focus was on Mori, who was also basically obstructing Dazai from view. Suspicious much? Sorry sorry, lmao. Anyways yeah, it's just the "there is a nostalgic face" that gets me.

nostalgia

noun

noun: nostalgia; plural noun: nostalgias

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past."I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days at university"

(ofc nostalgia ain't always good like in this case lmao)

Honestly, one can only assume that Dazai and the previous boss had a connection before all this. The theory that appears to be most prominent is that Dazai is either the "rightful heir" to the Port Mafia and the previous boss' son, or that he was adopted by the previous boss. Both are very interesting theories, and I've looked into them and they have strong evidence tbh. They're pretty plausible :)

However, here's me with my bullshit theories that for some reason derail from what everyone else thinks.

I honestly don't think that he was the previous boss' son, however he very much could be, but I do think he had affiliations with him, whether that be his actual parents were affiliated with the Mafia, someone he knew, other distant family members, etc. However he was involved with the mafia, he was. (I'm not saying he was, I'm saying that any way you can think of would probably work lmao)

My point is that I think that Dazai has already grown up surrounded by this environment of violence and bloodshed and exploitation of others to get what you want. When Mori first meets him, he's already a cunning, enigmatic and manipulative child. Where on fucking earth could he have learned that, if not from the people he grew up with, whoever that may be?

Dazai's past will always be one of my top things to think about, because once we get his past, so fucking much might be revealed and explained, and honestly, I need to know fr. (I'm so sorry but 'Killing in the Name of' just came on and I must say, very fitting-) But yeah, sorry, getting off-track. My theory is that his past somehow links into the old boss somehow. Whether they knew each other for ten years or just one before Mori first met Dazai, I think that they definitely did know each other.

Also, another thing of importance to note is the fact that Dazai is still in a suit when he tries to kill himself and gets sent to Mori. Also, I don't know whether the bandages were because of the suicide attempt, or whether or not they're there from before he even attempted it. Personally, methinks it's the latter, but hey, that's not what we're talking about here. Another thing to mention is the fact that Dazai gets sent to Mori, a shady, underground doctor who's clinic is a neutral zone for any fighting and little wars going on between underground rings and gangs, and because at this point the previous boss was going on his rampage, it was sure to be a neutral ground from the mafia. Now, why was Dazai sent here? I've always theorised on this, but my newest one only just blossomed today lmao. One theory I had is that he was found somewhere by a gang member who took him to Mori because he was just like "Oh, a kid, take him to Mori or something." this one I guess is kind of plausible? More plausible than some others lmao. Another one that I had was that whether it was his family or not, the people he was with did not want any suspicion arising around them should they go to a normal hospital with Dazai or they just know Mori's a shady doctor that'll sort him out quick I guess. Another mad theory I had was that Dazai was raised in an orphanage and they didn't want anyone questioning why a child under their care ended up trying to kill themselves on the grounds of the orphanage, so they took him to Mori. (I have more theories on orphanage Dazai, it's one of the least plausible ones but it actually made a lot of sense when I looked deeper into it)

EITHER WAY, sorry, it's clearly suspicious and seedy that you'd send a 14 year old to an underground doctor who is known for being shady and underhanded. Just saying.

God, this got a bit out of hand. Anyways, the newest theory I had for this was that Dazai was under the "care" of the previous boss and had tried to kill himself, Mori got wind of this and took Dazai as his patient, knowing his relation with the previous boss and saw his opportunity to assassinate him, using the fact that Dazai is an acquanitance of the previous boss to his advantage, and the fact that he's his doctor (the previous boss'). Does this make sense or am I actually mentally unwell and just chatting shit?

Well, whatever lmao. Going more in depth into the little extract from Fifteen; "Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" Now, whatever the fuck this means I guess? I'm going to do a separate post about the second half of what he said, because what the fuck. Lmao, but for now, I'm mainly going to focus on the "Are you in good health?" I feel as if this is him not only mocking Dazai, but himself. Asking Dazai if he's in good health, because he's not because he was assassinated by Mori whilst Dazai watched, and he was bedridden towards the end of his life. And, he's mocking Dazai because just a couple days (weeks, months, idk the timeframe lmao) before he died, Dazai obviously was hospitalised because of his suicide attempt, plus the fact that Dazai is just... unhealthy anyways. He's underweight, covered in bandages, mentally unwell and just doesn't take care of himself and throws himself into dangerous situations and has very self-destructive tendencies, PLUS the fact that (not at 14-17 I'd hope lmao) he also drinks, like, that mf is not in a good state. So, I feel as if it's just taking a jab at that, as well as him holding resentment for being murdered when he was ill. Does that also make sense? Maybe not. Sleep-deprived bullshit, my bad. But, as much as it's him poking fun at the situation and the people involved (also it could be bc yk Mori's a doctor, haha funny joke, yk? lmao) I think it's also quite familiar? Like, you know, you see someone that you know, and ask if they're okay, if they're in good shape, especially if since when you last saw them they're very much not. It honestly should come across as a caring remark, but obviously it's not in this situation.

Lmao anyways, another snippet from Fifteen because holy shit;

The true form of the silver flash that cut Dazai was a long scythe as tall as a human being. The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel… Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand." The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body." "Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

This one got me rabid fr.

Let's go from the start.

The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel... Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Right. Right right right. Not only does he laugh after he slices the bitch, what I find interesting is the "Cruel... Truly heartless." Now, he could be referring to a plethora of things, so I'll go ahead and mention a few of them.

One of them could be him calling Dazai cruel and heartless, which is honestly how a lot of people see him and what he does sometimes come across as. He's calling him this because he stood by and watched him get murdered by his doctor, the one who was supposed to be taking care of him. (Again, this is all assuming that he knew Dazai was there, which apparently he did, but how?)

Another thing could be that he's saying it's cruel and heartless that he's having to murder a child. Maybe. But, as we know, he's a ruthless and uncaring man who would not hesitate to fucking deck a kid, so like.

Another thing could be just him being sarcastic about his next sentence, once again mocking and kind of belittling Dazai and making fun of him, because he's in an unfortunate predicament, much like he was.

Now, with a few of those out of the way, moving onto the next sentence which fucks me up.

"The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Now you old on just a fucking minute.

One thing I'd like to say is that typically, a beheading is used as a form of execution. (Also parallells Dazai's betrayal of the Mafia later. Could be me absolutely clutching at straws frantically but I like to make connections and stick to them lol.) And, of course, an execution is a form of punishment for someone betraying or going against any form of law or hierarchy. It's strange to me that he'd use this phrasing. Maybe he's saying this because he feels that Dazai should be punished for not stopping his assassination, and he is to execute him for betraying the Mafia by standing by and watching him die. But Dazai wasn't with the Mafia at this point. Once again returning to my point of their connection and that they knew each other, it could be his way of holding some bitter resentment towards Dazai for betraying him personally, and it's not just revenge he's hoping to get on him. The next bit that also gets me is the "The day has come" as if he's been waiting for this specific day for a while, since before he was assassinated. Gah, it's all so confusing. Also also, the repeated use of the previous boss using words like "kid" and "brat" are also interesting to me. He's really the only one to refer to Dazai that way, bar Chuuya and that one GSS soldier, who was like "The Port Mafia are recruiting kids now?" and of course, Chuuya and Dazai calling each other "brat" "punk" and "kid". It just feels... off, the way the previous boss keeps calling him this. I don't know if he refers to Dazai by his name at all, which could also be a reason as to why maybe they don't know each other at all, because it's of course a plausible line of thinking, as we haven't been given anything that says otherwise. I don't know, it just irks me.

The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Also forgot to mention the "hoarse voice" when he's saying that to Dazai. That's a big hmmmmm moment fr. Anyways. This part really is so intriguing to me. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories... You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Hm? What was that? This part's really fucking suspicious to me. "I'd like to talk about my memories..." So, clearly, there's something in his memories (PLURAL) that he'd like to discuss with specifically Dazai, something so important that the one thing he's been waiting and itching to do must be put aside for the time being. It's the middle of the battle between the previous boss and Randou and Dazai and Chuuya, like, can it not wait?

Irks me, and the fact that (like I said) it's plural. He doesn't say "there's a memory I'd like to talk about." it's just "Let's talk about my memories" almost as if it's fucking all of them.

Then, the use of the elipsis with the jarring "...You're an enemy to me even in this body." is unsettling. He declares Dazai, a 15 year old, as his enemy. Not only has he made fun of him, slashed him up, threatened to behead him and possibly called him cruel and heartless, but he's now stating that he is his enemy, whether he is a corpse or whether he is alive and well, alive and sick, etc...

It's all around a little bit suspicious, if I do say so myself. The next part, where Randou interrupts and stops him in his tracks, is also highly important.

"Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

(Laughing at the "Randou told him gravely" because he's fucking dead lmao, L)

THIS. THIS. THIS.

"Boss. You're no longer a human..."

SOUND FAMILIAR, YEAH YEAH?

The fact that this specific line was used is just... there's got to be more to it. Why would Asagiri choose to specifically use that? And don't forget when Kunikida also said the same exact thing to Dazai in 55 minutes. (SPOILERS FOR 55 MINUTES)

"The hell are you talking about?! 'Finally managed to die'? You're no longer human! You don't deserve that right! If you really want to die that much, I'll kill you myself! How about this?! And this?! How about from this angle?!"

It just strikes me as odd, the comparisons. Obviously, Dazai's ability being 'No Longer Human', the phrasing Randou used is strange. I don't know. Anyways lol.

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe."

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability..." So, as we see here, he is just the same as if he were alive and well. He's not just saying all this shit randomly, he has sound reason behind it and he remembers. He has his memories, emotions, etc. (I also want to know when and how he took the body into his sub-space, that's interesting). I don't know why Randou stops after saying "...while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." I don't know, maybe he's just clarifying lol. Hm.

"Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

And just like that, he's over it. Lmao.

I like the comparison of the old boss the the Grim Reaper, I think that's really important. Especially considering he got his own throat slit by his evil doctor, but.

I think what's so interesting to me about it is that, as we know, Dazai constantly seeks and craves death. He chases after it non-stop, longing for a life that's not his own, and wishing for that one fateful encounter where maybe, he'll finally be able to die the way he wishes. Whilst other people run from death and are scared shitless by the concept of it as they run from the Grim Reaper, harbinger of their fear itself, Dazai actively seeks it. He runs after the Grim Reaper, praying that this time, maybe, he'll die. But as we know, he hasn't yet succeeded (technically he's succeeded twice lmao.) and he still chases relentlessy after him. So, I feel as if the comparison of the previous boss to "an old, western Grim Reaper" is important to note. Once again, I could just be babbling wham. Also, the way he's about to "kill" Dazai is fairly important. The second he raises his scythe, he becomes clothes and adorned in black cloth, like an executioner swinging his axe. A lot is being alluded to in these passages (passages?) that are repetitive themes throughout.

So, this probably made no sense, but honeslty, I just needed to get my jumbled thoughts out there.

In conclusion, I do believe that Dazai and the previous boss have some sort of connection, and I hope it's brought up again, and it wasn't just a one off or a misinterpretation of the scene. It seems really intriguing to me!

A lot of theories that I have seen include Dazai being "heir" to the Port Mafia and whilst that could be a plausible way of thinking, I just don't think so, but who am I to say?

Yes, he was in the room with the boss when Mori killed him; who's to say Mori didn't just bring him with him and say "He's under my care." or something? Maybe it wouldn't be that easy if the room was heavily guarded, especially because it's the Port Mafia's boss and many people are wanting to assassinate him, but they'd never suspect that his doctor would be up to something shady, and so what if he takes a kid in there with him? What's a 14 year old going to do?

Also, if the chances are that Dazai was "adopted" in a way by the previous boss, of course they'd let him go in with Mori, if they knew who he was.

And also, people saying about how why Mori would kick Dazai out of the Mafia at 18 is also due to the fact that he is indeed the rightful "heir" and he knows it, or something. But honestly, I don't know if that has much to do with it. I don't actually think that Mori expected Dazai to leave the Mafia; I don't think he understood the true impact Oda had on Dazai, because Mori doesn't know who Dazai is really. Dazai is cold, and doesn't show much emotion. However, it was a completely different story with Oda and Ango, and I think Mori didn't truly understand the extent that the fondness between them all went to. I think he wanted to keep Dazai under his thumb, reign him in, make him more obedient. If he could take some rogue compnents out of Dazai's life, it'd give him more reason to be more of a... mindless slave? To the Mafia? There's better phrasing, but do you get what I mean? With Oda's sacrifice, Mori killed about 6 birds with one stone. He got rid of Mimic, he got the permit he needed, he (if we exclude my theory of him trying to make Dazai more controlled) got rid of Dazai who was a threat to his position, he got the upper hand on the Division, etc etc. He really hit the nail on the head with that one move. But, in other aspects, it was indeed the wrong move. He lost a lot because of it. He lost the trust of Dazai as well as Dazai himself, he lost one of the most skilled ability users and a phenomenal assassin, also lost quite a few men along the way, (he already knew this but) he lost Ango, a skilled and resourceful information store (lol), etc. Confusing situation lol.

Anyways, sorry, went on a rant, but my point was that kicking Dazai out of the mafia for being the rightful "heir" wouldn't have done much. Dazai could still assassinate him if he wanted to be the boss. Which is why I think he has some underlying motive for doing what he did. Also, the fact that he seems genuinely dejected and angry when the Guild is fighting with them and he mentions that if Dazai were still here, the Guild would have been no match.

Also, a good point that the post I mentioned made was when Hirotsu mentioned specifically Dazai when talking about understanding Mori's motives, which I think was very interesting.

Now, this could probably be about anything, but it does seem like it's directed towards Mori assassinating the previous boss. It could also mean about sending Chuuya over to his location, kicking him out of the mafia (this is the one I low-key kind of think that he meant), etc. It could be a lot, but seemingly it's either only getting Dazai forced out of the Mafia or the previous boss' death. Interesting points all around and their analysis and theory is so so so good!!!

Anyways, this was a bit longer than I expected it to be, I hope it makes sense! Any questions, please please PLEASE feel free to ask! Because I have a lot more to say about this, but I can't write it unless prompted lmao.

Thank you for reading this far, my love <333

Have a lovely day/night! <333

Trimax vol. 3 notes

UGH UGH UGH

This cover is so sexy. The colors make my brain go brrr

I read and typed this the night before, oops. I needed something to make me less bored and sad and by god I got it. (<- has so much homework he doesn’t even want to look at it)

1- Based on what i’ve seen of future installments there’s a trend in the particular kind of body horror nightow likes to draw huh

The color of blood? Literally blood? I wasn’t sure if he was actually crying blood in the previous volume or not or if the tears were just darker bc art shit. I think his vibes are like that of a bird of prey. If that’s what we’re getting at here? (At least this version of him is. Stampede is a different beast. Somehow both cuttlefish and like, crow? I’m still yelling about the stampede finale-)

Does having high bullshit tolerance make you less human somehow…? What’s the logic here?

Is wolfwood saying that to him directly? Fucked up if so. He does NOT need more piled on him right now

2- im just flashing back to 98 wolfwood saying he’s never fired a gun before-

Does gray have the same sort of top that Vash had? The almost-tubing on the sides? Or is that just a favorite design thing?

That was pretty much all just fight scene huh.

3- EW EW EW

god, it’s only just now hitting that these are the faces of people he knew. People he cared about. Christ.

:( i want to get off of mr bones wild ride

I’m not like. Gagging or anything i just hate it.

The thing about Vash being quiet angry is that it’s almost got this elegance to it. Like his mind has left his body and he’s just running on his experience and skill now. He’s pissed and he’s dissociating. I feel like the whole room gets icy when he’s like that, even if you’re outside in the suns.

NO OH NO GOD-

FUCK I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I STILL WASNT READY

4- does. Does he know him???

Oh hell.

He set off the sprinklers???

WET HAIR VASH

5- brad is much more of a character than i was expecting.

God i can just hear wolfwood in that moment

Well. Yikes.

HAHAHSJSJJS milly jumpscare

6- what the fuck that piano is so cool

Seeing vash with both arms feels illegal somehow

Or no, does it have some kind of cover on it? Or is that what it looks like below those gloves?

He is SOOOO not okay right now

Woah damn is that what luida looks like here?

Im sure he’s just beyond relieved to see people lived.

Oh wow. Im… proud of him for admitting it? Something like that? God he looks so tired

“Woah vash you’re fucking ancient aren’t you???”

7- he is a solid 70% leg. Good for him.

He looks so normal it’s very strange.

True immortality???? Maybe that’s why knives is baby smooth every time we’ve seen him. (Ick.) (there’s some part of me that wants so badly to like knives on the grounds that I understand where he’s coming from but he’s literally the fucking worst.)

There goes his arm. Again. Why is it always that one?

He genuinely reads like a different person with his hair down. Maybe that’s just me.

Did. Did nightow give mike mignola a copy of trigun. Better yet did he read it? We’re asking the real questions here.

(I made a poll for Vash’s vibes and the results are mostly exactly what I expected? Will post my findings. Manga Vash has the most variety so far.)

((Will I be able to do anything cool for Vash’s birthday? Who knows. Crossing my fingers I can hold it together that long, I am SO done with my summer classes and I wanna go home.))

(((I have had the worst stampede brainrot recently. It’s the purple color scheme and the flowers and the everything at the end. It fuckin EATS. I want to hold him gently.)))

mob psycho ep 9 + 10 + 11 live reaction here we go

i'm going to be annoying!!! because i'm excited and this is my treat to myself after a very hellish 3 weeks!!!

i just wanna say i love when the op is like "DISTORTION" and you hear here the guitar distortion aahgfdl;skj

this part reminds me of when all the dead characters from Gurren Lagann came back to cheer on the protag and the guy in the focus of the frame was the protag's older bro figure. cries. ugh shit like this is why i love Shonen T__T

ugh i wanna draw this so bad

OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM STANDING WITH HIS LIL BOUQUET OHHHH THE BOY THE MOST BOY EVER AHHH

[yes i know what's about to happen im so. I'm so not okay]

UGH HE'S GROWN SO MUCH. THESE EYES ARE FILLED WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

CRYING. SHAKING. THROWING UP. TOSSING MY DEVICE OUT THE WINDOW. AHHSDHGFEHHREJWEWRHIGE: THE SCORE IN THIS SCENE IS SO SOMBER AND TRAGIC LIKE IT RLLY EMPHASIZES THE EMOTION MORE THAN THE ACTION OH MY GOD BECAUSE HE'S SAD!!!! MOB IS IN PAIN TERU IS IN PAINNN OHHHH

THIS WAS SUCH AN INTERESTING ART DIRECTION LIKE IT'S NOT CONFIRMED BY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT TERU IS THAT STRAY dask FALLING FROM THE CLOUD OF IMPACT??????????? OH my god.

i really really really REALLY LOVE THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THIS EPISODE I DEF NEED TO FIND IT LATER! It does such a good job taking us through Teru's whole emotional journey ugh

YOU'RE DOING GREAT BBY IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

also lol did anyone make "yeet" memes about when Teru got tossed like a ragdoll or are we too cool for yeet memes now

i knew bones would pull through but ahhhhh Mob gradually losing his human form has been really cool to see animated <3

the animation for this episode is so insane like if gurren lagann actually had a budget. sorry for constantly comparing to gurren lagann but like. pls if you are reading this PLEASE WATCH GURREN LAGANN I PROMISE IF U LIKE MOB PSYCHO 100 OR MY HERO ACADEMIA OR CHAINSAW OR ANY OTHER THING I SCREAM ABOUT ON THIS BLOG. YOU WILL LIKE GURREN LAGANN. anyways.

The performance in ep 10....absolutely stunning from every possible angle...down to everything..this episode..the pacing...the voicE ACTING UGH.....wow... WOW!!! AMAZING!!!! I'm probably really bias because i emotionally love this part in the story but haha yeah....yeahh i love ep 10.

Ritsu once again the only one with brain cells and puts together what's going on SO quick cause even though he doesn't "understand" his brother he knows his brother like no one else. i'm never not emo about Ritsu. i love Ristu and Mob's relationship. ugh ugh ugh

the opening to s3 is so wild i notice something new every time i watch it. love that. reminds me of s1 <3

OH IM SO GLAD THEY KEPT HIS EXPRESSION FROM THE MANGA HERE

aw i like the detail that Ritsu left his coat for Teru......

lol they censored the fact Kageyama's friend almost got totally stabbed through a vital point by replacing the rod with a flat surface

i cant fucking DO THIS ANYMORE

wow i don't even have the energy to liveblog this episode it's so amazing and gorgeous and creative and emotional it's everything everything everything

good night! time to see if i manage to brainstorm a decent fanart idea

also i just want to say i really love reading the animation breakdown analysis over here for each episode, it's been really funny and i highly recommend!

i think a point im trying to make with myself lol is that i really should start reading the print novels i’ve bought extensively. i am definitely at the point where they are both readable/understandable overall without a dictionary, and where my reading speed for them isn’t that much slower than in english (and if we’re honest here... if i make myself speed read in chinese there’s a fair chance its faster than my english reading, if the speed really bothers me... also when the hell did my english reading speed get so slow? idk i think as i got older i got self indulgent about savoring things i like and dwelling in them tbh). my point is, if its a matter of struggling to follow the plot, or reading ‘intolerably’ slow, i have surpassed those points. so they aren’t reasons to avoid my print books anymore.

the only exception is maybe Poyun, Sha Po Lang, and Can Ci Pin, which are probably above my reading level a little bit. According to that zhtool website i’m reading extensively at about 1.8 (with lower numbers being more difficult), and most of the novels i own are 1.8 or easier (with the exception of the 3 listed above). So my dmbj novels, the gyadl novel, the LiuLi novel, modu, zhenhun, saye, hell even the mdzs novel i have in traditional characters i could probably do right now (i have zhenhun in simplified and traditional and figure i’ll read the traditional to re-remember/get used to recognizing some traditional hanzi i forgot or am not used to yet). Related... i saw a new dmbj novel for sale that looks like slice of life old man iron triangle side stories in the village and i’m very... tempted to buy... but i should probably buy reboot novels first (i have the first set of dmbj novels in print, then the 10 Years Later novel). To be fair, all the dmbj novels are online too (so im not worried about missing some).

Maybe i will finish this fanfiction i’m reading, then move onto a print book for a while. usually i read digitally for the automated-audio, but since i haven’t been using that lately and my listening comprehension is getting ignored Anyway, there’s no huge difference for me between using print novels or online ones. Eventually i WILL listen to audiobooks and get some listening reinforcement, will listen to chinese spoonfed audio again for listening gaps, and when i run into new Frustrating words when reading in print i do sometimes look them up and get the word’s pronunciation. so my reading to listening gap is more like “oh no i kept reading 晕 yun as hun for 200 pages (which is easy to pick up the correction when listening), or 小心翼翼 xiaoxinyiyi as xiaoxinweiwei” (yeah idk where my brain guessed the wei pronunciation either).

also @a-whump-muffin i finally kind of get what you mean when you said manga were sometimes harder than novels. i’ve been reading more manhua lately just because i’ve been in the mood, and even though generally i know MORE of the hanzi i see (like 99%), unknown words give me less context to work with. Whereas in novels i can see a lot more unknown words and hanzi and still figure out the plot and a decent portion of the details. since there’s usually like a paragraph per main-detail to elaborate on things. i read some of 你的距离 and its easy enough to follow the plot based on pictures (its about a guy who broke up, looking for someone new on app dating), but a lot of the specific-dating-app words i do not know in chinese and i could Guess what words i was seeing but i wasn’t sure specifically what a LOT of them actually were. Whereas when i read a novel i’ve got like 2-5 surrounding sentences to figure out if ‘vague word’ means specifically speaker or microphone or headphones (when in the given sentence itself any of the words could work). in a manhua its like “well this means something related to ‘match’ but i only have one line about it so who knows specifically what this meant if i see it later in another piece of writing, it could mean ‘paired’ ‘match’ ‘compatible’ ‘selected’ etc). 

hinata has a lot of inner strength though and supported naruto from the beginning more than sasuke

where did you even come from.... anyways i did say id offer asks like this a little of my time from now on since you seem to have difficulties with your brains when viewing the series yourselves so.

inner strength? i imagine youre referring to her attempting to train herself and then literally not getting anywhere. i do not doubt canon! she did Attempt to do that. however, that isnt really a basis for claiming her external status either.

and no see this is my biggest problem with you people. stop claiming things and giving her credit for things shes never done! admiring is not the same as supporting. she did not hate him ever! this is true!

however, when did this ever HELP naruto? this is where you all seem to get rather confused. heres the thing- she didnt. she never approached him, she never offered him a connection, and youre welcome to equate this to her "shyness" and timidness but then youll have to admit she did Not Do Those Things. and that her so called "kindness" didnt help him when he actually needed it.

he didnt even know she existed. this is not his fault. hinata never made an attempt to let him know she existed. it is NOT his fault for not "loving her back" or "being dense" or whatever the fuck the last claimed, just bc she didnt actively hurt him. inaction ≠ kindness holy crap how many times must i repeat this

she literally just stalked him everywhere and that was kinda it how was he supposed to fucking know???? she only publicly supported him AFTER EVERYONE ELSE DID AS WELL. that does not help, and you need to stop claiming it did.

she never really seemed to see him as just another kid, who was suffering, and that her "support" could possibly help him at least somewhat. she was perfectly content following him everywhere hiding behind things and using his pain to make herself feel better. about her "inner strength" or whatever you said.

but this, is NARUTO helping HINATA from a young age, and he barely even knows of her existence. hinata never did jack shit for him for. pretty much the first 16 years of his life at least, aka the most tough times for him. but HE, was her main inspiration to "get better" WHICH AGAIN ISNT BAD! but stop claiming she did anything in return! she fucking didnt! where is this kindness you speak of?

also you really shouldnt have brought up sasuke. cmon man. this has gotten rather long oops.... but still. just go read the manga again? watch the show maybe? this is also canon ten times over thyeve said it to each other sooo much. they were rivals because they didnt know how to approach each other with friendship. they were EACH OTHERS goals this was not onsided.

if she was so shy, there were MANY options other than fucking stalking someone in a more unfortunate situation than your privellged self everywhere! this is NOT KINDNESS.

he does not owe her JACK SHIT! just bc she "supported him the longest" whats with this weird trend of loving people is suffering and you must force yourself through it or something? what

and if you wanna claim pain arc is super romantic, w hinata throwing herself in front of naruto to say something, sasuke did that too all the way back in land of the waves 💀💀💀💀💀

except he literally did not have time to think (my body moved on its own), he did not have an entire group of people telling him to not interfere as itd only make things worse, he did not think it over and then do it out of SELF PROCLAIMED SELFISHNESS, his actions here were actually REMEMBERED???????? FOR ONE THING??

"more than sasuke" my ass 😭 naruto was so happy nd shit when sasuke was acknowledging him. he finally had someone who understood his pain and didnt judge him. he had someone to train with and inspire him to get better too. but even in again, the WHOLEASS MOVIE they made for a WHOLEASS MARRIAGE, he still looks so sad with her 😭😭

narutos a nice dude and im sure he'd agree with you on the first part! but just. anyways. i dont know what you thought the point of telling me was? i doubt this will affect your opinion, and youll never change mine, soo. see. internet arguments are useless. you legit cpuldve just scrolled down on my blog anyways if you needed an answer from me that bad

its currently 1am in my timezone and I just made this blog on a whim because i cant stop thinling about this stupid thing isaw months ago and its too late to bother my friends about it so hi

i dont remember how long ago exactly but its been a few months- i saw a post calling ouran problematic for the whole "incest thing". at the time i ignored it cause i hate confrontation but sometimes it comes back to haunt me by which i mean annoyingly take up space in my mind

now i havent read the manga, but i did watch the qnime and i believe the post was specifically about the anime. now maybe they just quit it very early on or maybe we just have very different interpretations but the anime i watched did not in fact have any incest in it. it did have kaoru and hikaru playing with that trope at the host club, and iirc trying to shock their nanny at one point? but thats the main thing here, and it's something the anime does a lot, they are playing with the trope.

while i can understand that being enough to cause discomfort i feel like its not only inaccurate but also unfair as i feel like it discredits the way the show makes fun of these common tropes in reverse harem (the genre it's a part of). no actual incest happens in that anime, in fact both brothers happen to have a crush on haruhi as is the rule w this type of anime and i think one of them even decides to step back for his brother.

now why am i rambling about this months after i saw a random post? mostly because im trying to sleep and my brain is going in circles on this topic. but also because it does genuinely bother me.

im not comfortable with incest in the media i consume either, i also know it can be a trigger for some people (then again anything can be a trigger), and some people just dont like it because they think its morally reprehensible to even write about it, while others are huge fans of game of thrones the incest show! im not here to talk morality because thats a whole other topic about howuch you believe fiction affects reality and im not here for that, im here for a stupid too-long anime post about nothing important. the thing is calling it incest when it isn't just feels misleading and once again discredits the thing the show likes to do of mocking these tropes, its silly to point at a parody and claim its supporting the thing its actually parodying. i dont think thats how those work but i could be wrong idk!

i just think that, if you don't like somehing you watched or read or whatever, you can just say so without making up a reason to call it problematic, or taking smth out of context to call it problematic. hell idk maybe there IS smth u could call problematic about ouran, there must be seeing as no media is flawless, i just think calling the hikaru and kaoru bit "incest" kinda downplays actual incest which like. Maybe people are trying to avoid? and maybe some of those people would think the joke is gross while others wouldnt rlly care.

At least specify its not actual incest and ur just uncomfortable w them pretending to be. thats totally fair!!! just dont call it smth it isnt idk

anyway i rlly like these lil shits even if their schtick is kinda iffy kinda weird

why tomura reads like a sexual abuse survivor

ive noticed that a lot of survivors - including me - easily read tomura as a csa survivor. ive decided to try to put these impressions into words, mostly for myself, but also for anyone curious as to why he’s so frequently read this way, or why i personally write him as such. i will mostly be elaborating on the reoccurring sexual assault imagery and csa survivor traits tomura exhibits.

triggering themes ahead, including discussed child sexual abuse, incest (sibling and pseudo), trauma and its effects, and sexual assault imagery (from the bnha manga itself). also spoilers for the most recent manga arc.

(disclaimer: i realize symptoms of trauma are pretty much common all across the board, and depression also comes with a lot of these behaviors - but there are some that crop up more commonly in cases of sexual abuse (especially from a young age) than in others. csa survivors also frequently end up with depression, too, so that doesn't necessarily take away from it.)

i’ll start with the cover above. the hands touching him here are much more expressive than the ones he usually wears. it's also framed in a way where you can't see the ends/cap things very well, and they don't appear so symmetrical, making them feel much more like real, living hands grabbing him.

there's also the fact that his face is exposed, which is something we had rarely seen him do willingly at this point in the manga, and even when he had he was still covered up with a hoodie or completely alone. the way he's covering half his face gives off the impression that he's not okay with the way he's exposed.

all of that, plus the obvious distress tomura is in, gives this very glaring assault vibes.

also, the hands on his head are clearly someone's actual, living hands as well. my guess is afo, especially since they seem to be petting him, which is reoccurring imagery between tomura and afo.

tomura's total lack of privacy

there's a clear lack of boundaries between tomura and the adults in his life. most of the spaces that seem to belong to tomura (the bar - he feels safe enough there to take Father off, and his room) are accompanied by cameras and audio transmissions from afo. he has no privacy, and doesn't even seem bothered by this fact.

he also doesn't seem to set boundaries with other people in general. toga can hold a knife to his neck, spinner can grab him and yell in his face, the doctor can shout over his earpiece, dabi (or anyone, really) can say whatever rude or callous things he wants to him… really the only time i can think of that even comes close was when mr. compress made a joke about working with overhaul and tomura said "hey, not funny."

he seems to kinda just let whatever happen to him. earlier in the series, tomura seemed to rely on kurogiri to notice when he needed space and step in for him rather than ask for it himself. that's a pretty telltale sign of someone who's had their needs and boundaries violated (or even punished) for a long time.

Tomuras over-attachment to afo and his praise/affection

obviously afo groomed tomura whether it involved sexual abuse or not, but it is something that could have easily lended itself to that as well. early in the series, tomura clearly highly valued afos opinion of him, and seemed to strive to please and repay him for his kindness. these are feelings afo incited in him on purpose and did, canonically, take advantage of to turn tomura into a villain and pawn - who's to say he didn't use it for other purposes, too?

it's also the kind of thing survivors tend to latch onto to cope with their abuse. it can be easier to think of the event as being affection, returning a favor, and/or special treatment, than to think of it as abuse. tomura looked up to afo so much that it's possible he could have considered (or been convinced) that it was special that someone as great as afo wanted to do something so intimate with him.

also, if this is really tomura realizing his sensei isn't as special and powerful as he'd been led to believe, then his reaction being to cover up while looking angry might, well… be a reaction to feeling used.

Tomura & older men

there's not a lot of people besides afo that tomura seems very quickly, openly… invested in. there are two major ones i can think of, and they are both 1. older men, and 2. mentor figures (even if not to tomura.)

the most obvious of the two is aizawa, who tomura has seemed pretty fond of since his first appearance and, even in the most recent chapters, can't seem to help but think about how cool aizawa is. aizawa isn't a mentor to tomura, obviously, but he is a teacher and tomura knows this. (and seems impressed by the way he tries to protect the students in his care--something afo very specifically does not do for tomura.)

the second, and perhaps less obvious to most, is Stain. i wrote up a whole post trying (trying.) to explain the way tomura seemed interested in him, and you can see a bit more about that and how tomura was hoping he'd be a mentor to him here.

in other words, tomura has shown reoccurring interest in older men, who are mentors, that he does not show for anyone else.

early sexual abuse can influence a person's attractions. survivors tend to be drawn to what is familiar, even if it hurt, and so it's pretty common for them to be attracted to and/or desire a relationship with those who resemble their abuser(s).

and afo is an older man who is a mentor to tomura (and others.)

immaturity (& age regression)

tomura, in early canon, is often described by characters in-universe as being childish, especially in regards to how he processes his emotions. (i don't really like to conflate these things with "age" or "being childish" - but the way the manga itself presents these qualities is clearly intended to give tomura a immature/childish vibe.)

tomura's emotional processing, simple motivations, fixation with video games, toys littering his room, and need for close caregiving (kurogiri) all give off the impression that he's had trouble developing the way he "”should”" have--kind of like he didn't really move on at all.

this sort of stunted development tends to occur in people with childhood trauma, especially csa survivors. ptsd at its core is the brain getting "stuck" in the moment of trauma, so if the trauma occurred as a child, then one's development is somewhat halted there, especially in areas of emotional processing, because the brain and body have to dedicate so much energy to just trying to cope and survive. it's pretty common for csa survivors to have trouble coping with and controlling their emotions.

relatedly: i have no real way to confirm this right now, but i’ve heard that during the mla arc, while tomura was kind of going in and out of flashbacks, he started switching to using “boku” - a self pronoun for young boys - as opposed to his usual “ore”). ive since had to wonder if this is a reoccurring state for tomura - it might partly explain why he keeps his toys around despite never showing interest in them on-screen, and has such close supervision from kurogiri.

again, age regression can go for any kind of childhood trauma, but seems very common in child sexual abuse survivors in particular.

Lack of hygiene (esp oral)

look at how tomura's teeth are drawn compared to even another villains. dabis teeth are straight and clean, whereas tomura's have holes and chips, and tend to be drawn uneven with wobbly lines, like they're covered in plaque.

not caring for one's hygiene is common for people with depression too - but failure to care for teeth also frequently crops up in survivors of sexual abuse, due to an aversion to things touching or being inside their mouth, because it can remind them of the abuse.

in a similar vein, tomura's hair looks unwashed and greasy to me, especially when it gets long. it sort of gathers in clumps and appears heavy. survivors may avoid taking showers because they aren't comfortable removing their clothes for long periods of time, or because the abuse occurred in proximity to bathing. (which is a convenient time for parental figures to groom and abuse their children, since it already involves them being naked and the parent touching them closely.)

in general, there just seems to be something off about tomura's relationship with his body. maybe it's the way he barely bats an eye at major injuries, doesn't care for his hygiene, self-injures, and didn't mind undergoing a surgery that altered its shape and function pretty heavily--but i get the impression that tomura sees his body as just a tool more than anything.

which, if someone grew up having their body regarded as nothing but a means of pleasure, kind of makes sense.

his clothing

im not sure if this has the same “connotations” (for lack of a better word) for flat chested people, but tomura always wearing a lowcut shirt that shows off a fair amount of his chest, but covering the rest of himself head to toe--including his face--feels significant to me. as well as the way he covers up even more (his hoodie) when he’s stressed. the hands, too--being covered up seems to be calming for him.

the placement of the hands afo gave him

you can't tell me little tenko placed these hands where they are by himself. the ones on his chest aren’t even from his family or meant to resemble them - they’re additional hands afo gave him to wear. pretty weird place for “afo”’s hands to go...

I feel like theres a little bit something to tomura frequently having his clothes ripped off during fights

not that it's particularly uncommon for bnha characters to get their clothes a bit shredded during fights, but i can't help but feel like there's something to tomura getting torn down to nothing but his pants twice, with both battles heavily involving tomura's traumas, including the ones related to afo. the vs mla arc with how tomura met afo and how he turned him into what he is today, then the war arc where the methods afo used to control and abuse tomura (the hands) are brought back again--and afo repeatedly takes tomura's bodily autonomy away from him.

AFO's predatory behaviors

tomuras own behavior aside, All For One himself has some behaviors and imagery that gives off very predatory vibes. i’ll start with Ragdoll…

most people theorize that she was going to be turned into a nomu, but there are two important things here. ragdoll was found 1. alive, and 2. naked. all nomu are made from corpses - if afo had time to take her quirk and undress her, he certainly had time to kill her, especially since three days had passed since she was kidnapped. (and, what benefit would there be to making a nomu out of a quirkless hero?)

her dazed state is also curious - we've never been told taking or giving quirks has a side effect like this, and i would think itd at least wear off after three days…

there's also not actually a lot to suggest she was submerged in one of the tanks (that i know of); in the full body image, she doesn't seem to be soaking wet or anything. there's no water dripping off her. there's just a bit of liquid on her face and neck, which could merely be sweat, or… other fluids.

this next part is more debatable due to it being more dubiously canon (although My Hero: One’s Justice has been known to basically spoil villain related lore before it appears in the manga) - but he has some dialogue that makes him sound... pretty fuckin enthusiastic about sexual violence.

and time and time again, afo has been... very creepy and obsessive about his brother. who happens to look an awful lot like tomura, and is vaguely connected to nana as a user of OFA, and we know how far afo would go to spite both of them.

The "wow this is pretty much confirmed now" page

i always thought i was just projecting when i read tomura as a csa survivor - until i saw this page, which was so viscerally uncomfortable that it made me nauseous. it definitely made me decide i wasn't just reading into things that weren't there. that's not exactly to say this panel 100% confirmed it (though it certainly did in my mind, personally) -- but the imagery here can't not be deliberate.

tomura is literally shirtless and bent over before afo, and sure, afos not completely standing behind him, but that's partially because his lower half is inside of tomura. and from our previous example of afo taking over tomura's body…

i wish i could find the translation i first saw - this is the viz translation, which is notoriously horrible - but the one i read felt much more along the lines of "i saved you, so i get to do what i want with your body."

that is a line of logic that could have EASILY applied to their earlier relationship. the way afo saved tenko was very much on the forefront of tomura's mind early in the series, possibly either an idea he clung onto to justify the abuse he experienced from afo, or something afo personally reminded him of frequently.

also… part of afos body is definitely wrapped around tomura's upper thigh, and in certain panels seems to be emanating from between his legs.

speaking of, tomura's stance is also notable to me. compared to the panel where tomura first realized afo was taking control of him, where his knees are pretty straight on or outwards in a powerful balanced brace, in these panels his knees seem to be bending in towards his body, like he wants to squeeze his legs shut. huh.

i touched on this before, but it's interesting to me that what finally let afo fully take control of tomura's body, was having a hand (one afo very specifically used to control and abuse tomura into doing what he wanted) placed upon his body without permission.

so, all in all, afo is "inside" tomura's body, using it for his own means, against tomura's wishes.

what else does that sound like? no wonder deku feels like tomura needs help, despite everything...

again, this isn't to say that csa is definitely the cause of these things, just that tomura does have an abundance of behaviors and imagery that could easily be read that way.

Gojo Satoru | Loving you is a losing game

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru

words: 929

pronouns: none

request: “First of all I would like to praise you because your writing is incredible. Second, I would like to ask for an angst with Gojo. I read what you wrote and honestly, I am an angst-loving reader. I thought of something like Gojo cheating on the reader or she is pregnant but ends up losing the baby (If you write about pregnancy.) I would be extremely happy with either or whatever you want, I just love angst. Thank you, have a great day or night. ^^”

notes: hello! thank you a lot for requesting! I went with the cheating one bc I am not comfortable with writing about pregnancy! I hope you will like it. have a great day/night as well!😚😚 also this won’t get a part 2 if anyone is wondering bc fuck cheaters lmaooo (sorry im reposting again tumblr isn't letting me in the tags, pls tell me im in now)

not proof read

song rec: arcade - duncan laurence

genre: angst

warnings: cheating, implied sex but nothing in details, gojo is a cheating bastard, im so sorry gojo lovers (me)

Being with Gojo Satoru was a wild ride, and you knew it was going to be from the first day you two starting going out. But you never regretted falling for him, no matter how much he could get on your nerves sometimes, you still loved him for who he was, and you were happy with him. To this day you still couldn’t comprehend how you made him fall for you, dating the strongest sorcerer of them all was scary. The fear of never being enough was always somewhere deep inside your brain, but Gojo was always there to reassure you that you were far more than enough for him, and you were grateful for that.

Yet, here you were, standing on your doorstep, a piece of your heart shattering with each moan ringing through your ears. Moans that were definitely not yours, nor your boyfriend’s. You took a few hesitant steps that guided you to your shared bedroom, the moans echoing louder with each of them. With a shaky hand you turned the doorknob, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to see. Fully knowing that, in reality, nothing could prepare you for this nightmare. A part of you wanted it to be a fever dream, praying that none of this was real, and that you weren’t witnessing your boyfriend of 5 years in your bed with someone that wasn’t you. But another part of you knew that this was real, and that the fever dream might have been your relationship all along, way too good to be true.

With this thought crossing your mind, a bittersweet laugh left your mouth, one that made all movements in the once squeaky bed abruptly stop. The bedsheets ruffling in a hurried manner, before blue eyes finally met your glossy ones.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” You asked mockingly, laughing once more when all you were met with was silence and your boyfriend with his mouth agape. “I finished my mission earlier than expected, I wanted to surprise you with some sweets I got from overseas. I guess the surprise was successful, wasn’t it?”

“Love, I can explain everything.” Gojo started, scrambling to his feet to put his underwear and pants back on.

“Love?! Explain everything??? Oh Gojo, darling, what is there left to explain here? Did you trip and accidentally fall in bed with someone else? Oh no, better. Was it a curse’s doing? What kind of bullshit are you going to try to make me believe?” You roared, the reality of the situation slowly hitting you.

“No, it was a mistake I promise, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” The sorcerer said, taking a few tentative steps towards you, which just made you back further away from him.

“Oh yeah? Then tell me, love, for how long has this mistake been going on?” You questioned, harshly whipping off your falling tears.

“It’s not-” He began.

“HOW LONG?” You screamed, completely losing your temper, your body shaking in anger.

The silence in the house was heavy and was starting to rile you up even more, you wanted nothing more but to slap him across the face.

“A year and a half.” Gojo finally answered, his eyes never once meeting yours.

At his response you could only laugh once more, hot tears slowly streaming down your face. Neither of you made any move for a while, giving you the time to process the information.

“Why?” You finally asked, no longer caring about your swollen eyes and runny nose.

“I don’t know, baby, I swear it didn’t mean anything to me.” Your boyfriend urged, reaching out to hold your hands, only making you back away to stay out of grasp.

“For a year and a half? You’re trying to make me believe that you slept with someone else behind my back for a year and half and that it didn’t mean anything to you? That it was a mistake?” You cried.

“Baby-” The sorcerer started only to be interrupted with your hand colliding with his cheek, the slap so hard it was sure to leave a mark.

“DO NOT BABY ME!” You shouted, your last wall finally breaking down. “You do not get to call me baby Gojo. You do not have the right to try and change my mind about all of this. You are a piece of trash, you are a horrible person. I gave you 5 years of my life Gojo, FIVE. I did everything in order to be the best partner for you and this is what I get? You cheating on me? I knew all of this was too good to be true. Of course. You’re The Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, the one everyone wants. Why would you be with me? It didn’t make sense, right? Even you knew it. What was I to you? A game? Well, I’m sorry you lost that one. I’m sorry I wasted your oh so precious time.”

“Don’t say that. You know this isn’t true.” Gojo declared, once more trying to reach out to you.

“If it wasn’t you wouldn’t have done this.” You shook your head, taking another step away from him before turning around to make your way out. “Goodbye Gojo, hope it was worth it.”

With these last words you closed the door, leaving behind you the man you once loved and who you thought loved you too. And as you walked down the streets with your broken heart and tear-stained cheeks a thought crossed your mind.

Loving him was truly a losing game.

worth my time

pairing: noritoshi kamo + fem!oc genre: porn (is fingering enough to call it porn??) without plot ish??? tags//warning: established relationship // slight smut???, fingering, emotional drained reader, reader dated character but then forced into arranged marriage and doubt the whole rs note: unedited, lowercase intended, just me and my nori brainrot dont mind the plotholes and everythingn, its not accurate according to the manga/anime like i just wanna feed myself and i haven't write in ages pls sent some ideas so i can get my lazy brain going, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it  directory: read the first part | second part | third part | bonus

“how long have you known?”

noritoshi shrugged, bringing the cup of tea to his lips. the way he took time to answer her question drove her mad. “noritoshi, how long?” her voice strained. “would it make any difference if i’d known today or 10 years ago?”

her eyes shot wide opened, “10 fucking years?”

a small smile appeared on his lips as he lowered the cup, “hypothetically.” she grabbed one of the pillows from the pile on the bed and threw it to his face, embedded with what little left of her jujutsu power. they have been going on for hours and she was clearly too stubborn to let it go. it was clearly weak; he dodged it with a flick of his wrist switching the pillow’s trajectory. “you’re a fucking asshole,” she gritted through her teeth, falling on bed as wave of anger and sadness crashed through. “you think i wanted an arranged marriage? you think i like having every aspect of my life set since i was a child and scrutinized? i’m a bastard sitting on a throne. unlike you gojou clan, i had it much worst.”

she pulled her hair, fighting the tears that was already streaming down, “it’s not a competition. we are in the same school, i sat next to you for years and you’re telling me you have no idea that i’m your future wife, bullshit!” her eyes flickered as she threw the next close thing within her power’s vicinity; a vase. something hit the vase midway, breaking it into ashes and she watched as a drop of blood stained the floor. he broke it with his power. “you can throw every single thing in this room, y/n, but it doesn’t stop the fact that we are already married.” it was that one sentence that completely broke her. falling on her knees, she let a cry out, clutching on her chest as she cried to her heart’s content. this can’t be happening to me, no, no, no, her mind echoed as she forced herself to surrender to the fact that they are married. it’s not something easy to undo. it pained him to see her like this, but his wife needs to understand that he could do nothing about it. she cried for what seems to be like hours, the sleeves of her yukata wet from the tears and sweat. she fell on the floor to her knees, resting her body against the bed before finally looking up to meet her husband’s eyes. he could see defeat in her tired eyes. “we dated each other,” she sniffled, “was that real or was it just you scouting for your future wife?” her words sound like venom to him “i know you won’t believe me, but it was real. i would still marry you even if the marriage isn’t arranged.” noritoshi stood up, his barefoot echoed on the floor as he walked to his weakened wife. her body was hot, he suspected the skipping (refusing to eat) meals, raging and throwing tantrums after another had put her body in so much stress. he reached for the sash, trying to undo her yukata and she freaked out. grabbing his wrist, she shook her head, “what are you doing?” she asked shakily. “would you listen to me for once? you need a cold shower, you’re burning up, it would help.” she stopped fighting. his tone was a mixed of annoyance and tired. dating him made her realized that noritoshi has a high level of patience; but not right now. letting go of his wrist, she slipped the yukata off her shoulder herself, whined about how she disliked cold shower below her breath. he wore a small smile as he hoisted the naked girl up. it’s a small victory on noritoshi the husband, he’ll savor it for now. 

the girl kneeled on the floor of the shower as noritoshi slowly ran the shower head slowly up her body. her arms wrapped tightly against her chest; she cursed every time the cold water reached new part of her body. ignoring the fact that his yukata was getting wetter, he kneeled behind her and let her rest her back against his chest. with the shower gel, his body froze every time she whined at his touch. something about the way she whined under his touches made him weak. he wants to kiss her stupid face so badly. “it’s cold,” she mumbled, her eyes closed as he ran his palm against her stomach. he pressed a kiss on the side of her face, “better?” he asked as his hand travelled lower. her eyes widened. he continued his kisses, down her jawline and her neck, bruising every spot as his fingers traced a lazy circle on her clit. she moaned out a throaty yes. he continued to whisper sweet nothings into her ears, promises of how he would take care of her, how he’s going to be a perfect husband, how she would be a perfect wife, how they’ll live happily together. she nodded her head in delirium, the pleasure of his fingers had her grinding her back on his crotch and emptying her thoughts. she could barely think straight. “tell me you’re mine,” he commanded, slipping a finger inside, “i can take care of you, baby,” her eyes rolled back, his words were not helping, it was just pure gasoline thrown into a burning fire. “nori, i want to cum,” she muttered, clutching desperate on the now two fingers. she felt his warm breath on the crook where her shoulder meet her neck, his fangs brushing threateningly against the sensitive skin. “open your mouth,” he urged, she whined at the lost feeling of his lips on her neck. she felt something dripping between her lips, his thumb brushing the lower lip. it painted her lips red. it tasted metallic, almost like a blood. it was his. he watched in satisfaction as his blood marking appeared on her right eye. he can control her blood, heightened her senses, throwing her body’s sensitivity off the wall, driving her off the edge with every spot of her body he touches; it sends pleasure twice as much. it wasn’t long until her velvety wall spasmed around his fingers. her body jolted forward; her shaky hands pressed against the wet tile preventing her from falling face first as orgasm washes out. she could barely make any noises, her throat was so dry, she felt like it might bleed.   she won’t deny that the orgasm eased her pain, but she would deny if he dared brought it up; he would not get the pleasure of knowing she enjoyed that.

his palm brushed against her thigh, causing her to look up. he raised his eyebrows in question which she brushed it off with a nod. she grabbed his hand and steadied herself up.

“i’m okay,” she voiced out.

he undressed, continued their shower from square one. they’ve done this before; sharing shower after mission washing blood off each other but this time, it feels different. she sighed at the pleasure, letting her hands rest against his toned chest. we are married, the sentence echoed in her mind as he massaged the shampoo on her head. never ever she thought that this is how she’ll be married. it’s not like she dreamed of a huge wedding. he did throw a small gathering, respecting her boundaries and her anxiety but everything just moved so fast. her parents are dead, her only remaining family is satoru, a distant cousin who finds it a no issue for her to marry her boyfriend. it is not an issue for her to marry noritoshi kamo, she loves him so much, but not like this.   she wished she had more choices in this.   he hummed a song, a habit of his that he caught from his mother, a lullaby his mother always sings. she wanted to hate him so much, for befriending her, making her fall in love with him and then forced her into a marriage. but when she opened her eyes and stared up into his, to see such loving look in his eyes, it weakened her. her heart is a wreck. “why do you do this to me?” she whimpered, slamming her fist into his chest. he refused to answer.

she was tired of his silence.

he turned the shower off, opening the glass door letting waft of cold air out. he left to fetch her towel and she stalked toward the nearby mirror. “how long until the thing wears off?” she asked when she caught a glimpse of herself. she reached to touch the blood marking on her eyes. he wrapped the towel around her body, hugging her from behind and through the foggy mirror, he brushed his thumb on her cheek, whispered something she couldn’t catch as the mark subsided.

“this doesn’t change the fact that i’m mad at you.”

he laughed it off, “i didn’t say it does. you always feel better post orgasm, you know how i know it?” he kissed her temple, eyes burned into hers, “because i dated you.”

her teeth gritted in annoyance.

“you think if i dated you to scout my future wife, i wouldn’t waste my time learning how your body responds to me, the way you yearn for me,” a kiss fell on her neck, “learn how well you control your shikigami and goes through lengths to teach you how to use my bow,” another kiss went up her jaw, “teach you my own blood techniques because god, why jujutsu needs to be such an exclusive thing,” arms went around her waist, “worried sick every single time utahime send you off for a mission, taking care of your wounds, being there to catch your reckless ass,” his breath lingered on her ears, “completely falling in love with you wholeheartedly for 3 years. i’d abandoned my father’s choice. you are arranged to be my wife, on my own accord. i choose you. you weren’t my father’s choice, but even in million years, even if sukuna’s vessel reincarnated again and again, even if the world split open and sent you miles away, even if i’m not the head of kamo clan,” his hand grabbed her chin, hard and forced her to meet his eyes, his words send shivers down her spine, “i would still choose you.”

she’s completely putty in his hand. she let out a soft whine as his body abandoned her, his warmth gone and came the cold biting her bare skin. her eyes followed the back of the man as he stalked to the wardrobe leaving the girl alone to ponder on his words.

“now, wouldn’t it just be a waste of my time, my wife?”

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

UR OFFICIALLY MY FAVORITE BLOG FOR SUB SHIGARAKI AND I TOTALLY AGREE THAT SHIGARAKI DOES HAVE A MOMMY KINK✋😔 ANYWAYS CAN I PLEASE REQUEST SUB SHIGARAKI WITH A MOMMY KINK AND PEGGING PLEASE

🌸 Mommy fic for mothers’s day 😌 🌸

If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q

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🌸 BESTIE I JUST POSTED ONE here she is BUT HERES ANOTHER AND SINCE IM BOLD AF AND REALLY FEELING THE MOMMY KINK LET ME HIT YOU WITH...

His lactation kink

Sometimes he's so far gone when he's sucking on your boobs that he gets worried/surprised/mad that there's no milk.

Like you're mommy....why no milk for Shiggy?

Let's be real as much as he may want kids in the future. He's not willing to get you prego in the middle of a war. But he will find the money to get those pills adoptive mothers use when they want to breastfeed their adopted baby. And you'd better take them. If you're not immune to his quirk...avoid him for a few days weeks. He will NOT be happy. I know that sounds mean, but he will dust you because you refused. Sorry, I'm right. He's a total brat.

And I mean, c’mon, if you've seen that manga panel, you know the man loves tits. Despite popular belief, he probably has a thing for tiny boobs so he can watch them get bigger once they fill up with milk because of the pills you will be taking. Like if you refuse, tell Dabi what color flowers you want at your funeral.

But this will be saved for another fic that's already cooking in my brain.

I'm gonna be honest, I was a little skimpy with the whole mommy thing last time, y’know, just testing the waters, but oh lord, get ready.

“Mommy, ” he whined, “Mommy, please. I need it so bad, ”

He was straddling your thigh, grinding and humping it desperately. He looked so sweet and pathetic, whining for mommy while desperately trying to get himself off. He was on the verge of tears now. He didn't want to cum in his pants. It's so embarrassing. Little did he know that's exactly what you wanted. Something about seeing him cry out and hide his face in your neck as he was unable to stop the cum spurting out of his dick and into his pants was so hot. He was so embarrassed. One time Shigaraki even cried.

The sadistic side of you wanted him in tears: red eyes and a runny nose. But you loved it when he crawled into your arms, still sniffling as you rubbed his back. You wanted to humiliate, break him down just to build him back up again. Worship his body and tell him how good he was. Whisper how loved and appreciated he was. He started to tug at your shirt, looking up with those puppy dog eyes you loved so, so much.

“Tell me what you want, honey, ” you said.

“I wanna see your boobs, mommy, ” he cried shamelessly.

You nearly laughed at how juvenile it sounded.

“Alright, honey, go ahead, ” you said.

He nearly ripped your shirt in half but restrained himself. He did, however, accidentally bend one of the hooks on your bra. When you were finally bare-chested, he whined desperately, looking up at you.

“Go ahead, ” you urged.

He dove right in, sucking and groping your tits. You moaned softly as he twisted your nipple. His hips were moving even faster, the spot of precum becoming more noticeable. He froze. You heard a strangled cry muffled by your tits as he came. And he did it. He started crying. Hiccuping and sniffling as he buried his face in shame. You stroked his hair.

“Dont cry, sweetie, ” you said, stroking his hair.

He looked up at you with teary eyes.

“Mommy, ” he whispered, another tear rolling down his cheek.

“Right here sweetie, ” you cooed, “mommy’s here, ”

The corners of his chapped lips turned up in a small smile. Mommy’s here. He nuzzled his face into the side of your neck, and you held him tight. You rocked him back and forth slowly, kissing the top of his head.

“Can you do me a favor Tomu?” you asked.

“Yes mommy, ” he nodded eagerly.

You slid out from under him and wiggled out of your pants, lying down on your back. His eyes lit up as he started at your clothed cunt.

“Dont be shy, ” you whispered, “come taste mommy’s pussy, ”

He nearly pounced to suck on your panties. You moaned, only encouraging him to pull off your panties. He almost suffocated himself, shoving his face into your cunt. He loved how you tasted. He loved mommy’s pussy. It was the best. It made him feel so good, and it made you feel good. That was the most important part. He wanted your cum. It didn't matter where, on his face, in his mouth, on his cock. He just wanted mommy’s cum.

He was moaning more than you were as he lapped at your cunt, sending sweet vibrations through you. Your legs wrapped around his head, and he held your thighs in place around his head. You smirked, squeezing his head tighter until he started to whine and struggle from the lack of air. He pulled away, gasping only to dive right back in, moaning again.

He was always a messy eater, caring more about tasting you than making you cum. However, today, he was doing an excellent job. He was pushing his tongue into you as far as it would go, desperately probing while his nose bumped your clit. To your surprise, you were cumming in no time, tugging his hair. You were crying his name as your legs quivered. He savored every drop, overstimulating you beyond coherent thinking.

“You did so good baby. You did so good for mommy, ” you panted, “let me make you feel good too Shiggy. What do you need, baby?”

“C-can you get the...the special toy we got, mommy?” he whispered.

“Of course, baby, ” you said.

The toy in question was a vibrating dildo attached to your strap-on. He was so excited when he picked it out.

“Look, mommy, it vibrates, ” he said, tugging on your sleeve.

You had bought it without a second thought—anything for him. The toy sat in the closet with a bottle of lube and a remote for the vibrating portion. You moved between his legs and applied lube to your fingers before slipping them in. He was used to the size of your fingers by now but prepping him was still very important. You scissored your fingers to stretch him further. Much to his delight, you began to hit his favorite spot as his sweet moans echoed through the room.

When you pulled your fingers out he whined softly.

“Mommy, please put your fingers back, ” he begged.

“Dont worry, baby. You're gonna feel so so good but you need to be patient, ” you said.

You lined up the toy and sunk in slowly. Tomura let out a long, loud moan that lasted until you were all the way inside of him. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his mouth was open. You waited until his breathing returned to its regular pace before starting to thrust slowly. His eyes rolled back, and a happy sigh left his lips as he met your slow thrusts. As you sped up, he began to pant and whimper, wiggling around to try and find his prostate. When you did find it he nearly screeched.

“M-mommy, ” he moaned, “r-right there...thank you mommy feels so, ugh, so good, ”

You grabbed the remote and pressed the button for the lowest setting. The soft buzzing sound was barely audible over the slapping of skin and squelching as you sunk into him, and of course, Tomura’s whimpers and moans. You could feel it buzzing against your clit as it the strap on rubbed against you. You turned up the intensity and started to chase the vibrating sensation. Meanwhile, Tomura was completely losing it. He was shaking and moaning as you pounded into him relentlessly. He nearly screamed when the vibrator turned up to it's highest setting.

You stopped for a moment deep inside of him and ground against the toy, moving it around in him. It felt so so good, just as good as your favorite vibrator. You were already getting close not only from the vibrations but from Tomura’s slutty moans and whimpers. Crying out for mommy to keep fucking him. So you obliged, setting a pace that had him crying from pleasure. You were getting close. All the pleasure started to focus on your clit until it burst; the little nerve sent waves of mind-blowing pleasure through your whole body.

“Tomura, ” you cried, “fuck I'm cumming, ”

He was right on the edge. The spot you stopped had the vibrating head right up against his prostate. He wiggled a little, rubbing himself on the toy until you decided to keep thrusting into him. His whole body shook as he coated himself in cum.

“Mommy, ” he cried over and over.

You held him tight through his climax and pulled out slowly. With the toy discarded and the mess cleaned up, you moved a mat of sweaty hair out of the sleeping boy’s face. You kissed his forehead and watched as his mouth found its way to your tits. Even in his sleep, he was still a little pervert.

Jealousy. (Extra)

You can find Jealousy here: Part One Part Two Part Three 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | sorry for the inactivity, i’ve been taking a break. regardless, i’m super happy because i finished most of my hw! someone wanted an extra of my fic Jealousy, so that’s what im doing. you may have noticed this isn’t very good, but i haven’t written in a while so bear with me :(  𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Teen! Gojo Satoru x Gender Neutral Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 1167 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 |  I didn’t exactly proof read this, and it’s rushed, so expect a lot of reusing of words and just overall not amazing writing. Cursing, ALL CHARACTERS HERE ARE AGED DOWN FROM PRESENT ANIME/MANGA INTO WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS. 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | After confessing with Gojo Satoru himself, you and him walk on the path that would lead you back to Shoko and Geto, you two take your sweet time though, savoring the sweet, new love.

   Everything in your body was finally settling in. Your frazzled nerves had just begun to go away.    You’re walking back to the picnic, fingers intertwined with Gojo’s. Your pounding heart had subdued. Yet, you still felt fuzzy and warm, you had pinched yourself repeatedly to make sure it wasn’t a dream earlier.     The air smelled like fresh dew on grass, the scent of flowers weakly wafted in the air as well, you were drinking in the beautiful weather, enjoying the calm, quiet between the two of you.     Normally, every confession of love followed suit with cheers of joy, or perhaps a kiss, but strangely, a quiet walk through the park was something you didn’t mind.     Turning your attention towards Gojo, there was a slight curve to his lips. He didn’t smile like that often, it was either a full blown toothy grin, or nothing at all. Wind ruffling his hair, taking longer and longer strides that you couldn’t quite catch up with.     “Hey Daddy Long Legs, I’m not 6′3 you know.” you say, sarcasm and a hint of annoyance relevant in your tone.     “Oops. Sorry.” he looked down at you, stopping in his tracks.     “What? Satoru, we don’t have all the time in the world, come on, Shoko and Geto are probably waiting for us.”     ‘Why’s that matter?” crouching down so he could stare at you eye-to-eye, well, more like eye-to-glasses, you hadn’t seen his eyes too often. But when you did they were a brilliant shade of blue, flecks of different variants of the color sprinkled carelessly around, they were breathtaking. You hoped to see them more, why wouldn’t he show you them? After all, he was your... Boyfriend.     The term felt so weird to say, but so good.    “Didn’t we just start dating?” he said, cocking his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted together.     Snapping out of your daze, you study your shoes. “Well- Yes... But, that’s not the point.” your eyes flickered to the field of flowers dancing in the breeze.     “Honey, that’s entirely the point. We just got together and you’re gonna care about Shoko and Geto? You’re too considerate~” he cooed, pinching and pulling at your cheeks.     “...Is it okay if I call you honey..? Or uh, you know, pet names in general.” he added, you swear you can sense a quivering in his voice, some doubtfulness.     Biting your lip, you turn your full attention towards him, flower field be damned, you were dating the guy now, it was okay to be confident.     “...I actually prefer it.”     It took a moment to register in his probably small brain, but when it did, he beamed at you, giving a full blown smile.     “So I can call you Honey? Sugar? Cuddle Bug? Snuggle Wuffle? Snufflekins? Well I kind of already knew you were gonna say yes, by the way.” he cleared his throat, “because, I’m the strongest of all time, and I can also read minds, I swear.”     You giggle, not even realizing you were smiling at him as well, his face lit up.     “Satoru, It’s okay, just admit you were scared I was gonna say no.” He straightened himself, finally standing up. He put his hand at the back of his neck, still looking down at you.     “I wasn’t sweets, I knew you were gonna say yes, but uh, you know consent and stuff...” trailing off, he kicked at a pebble.     “I don’t think you need consent to call your significant other cute pet names, well, most of the time.” stifling a laugh, you turn to face to the very start of the pathway you and Gojo were walking on.     “Pretty, isn’t it?” he breathed. “Pretty place for a pretty person. I’m happy you told me here. Otherwise, It’d probably be when you’re fighting a curse and on the verge of death.”     “Satoru!-” Did this guy have no shame?     “What? I woulda saved you regardless, sweetheart. How am I gonna date someone that’s dead?” he chuckled, ruffling your hair.     “That’s insensitive!” you snorted, focusing your attention towards the growingly dark sky.    “It’s growing really dark, Satoru. We should head back soon.” you thought aloud, once again weaving your fingers into his hand.      “I didn’t even realize. Spending time with you makes everything fly by.” he flirted, lifting your limp hand up and kissing your skin.      You weren’t quite ready for another kiss in a span of 30 minutes.      Struggling to come up with something cheeky, you gape at him, opening and closing your mouth.     “My significant other’s a fish now? Aw whatever, you’re still cute. Want more kissies, darling?”      He doesn’t give you time to respond, instead diving face first into yours, lips interlocking. Soft, chaste kisses, there’s nothing sexual about it strangely, yet every each one still carried intimacy and love. You melt into his touch, sinking deeper and deeper into his embrace, your knees were just about to give out.      Exhaling sharply out of your nose, you could feel the cool air fanning onto your face, your skin was growing hot and sticky.    Just as you were about to try to take it a step further, he steps out of the kiss, panting heavily, drooling like an idiot.     Your brain isn’t quite working yet, and you peer at him, dumbfounded by the events that had occurred.     The still atmosphere was penetrated by the two of you panting, breathing in deeply. Your heart beating furiously, did that really just happen? Did Gojo Fucking Satoru just kiss you?      “Woah there.” panting, he crouches, looking up at you and catching his breath. “Didn’t know you were that straightforward, not now, not now baby. Didn’t you say we needed to go back to Geto and Shoko anyways?”      Trying not to whine, you clear your throat. “Oh yeah, I forgot about them.”      “Glad to know I have that effect on you.”     “Satoru!- God why did I ever have a crush on you?” slightly annoyed by his remark, you scoff.      “Because I’m handsome and strong and super cool.”      You couldn’t quite deny those claims, but your mouth was zipped shut.      “That’s what I thought.” grinning at you, yet you can only faintly make out his facial features.      “Fuck, Gojo, or uh... Baby, we gotta go! What if Shoko or Geto think we’re kidnapped or something?” Hands once again clasping with his unoccupied one, you sprinted, dragging him along the beaten trail.     “Fuck Shoko and Geto! They know I’ll protect the both of us, nothing scares me sweetheart! Let’s watch the stars together, (Y/N)!” he hollered back at you, taking longer and longer strides to catch up to you.      “Oh FUCK no baby, you are NOT beating me.” giggling, you let go of his hand, you found yourself 100 times lighter. Now sprinting at the speed of light, or at least the fastest you could run, at the entrance of the pathway. Estimating that it would take around 3 minutes of full sprinting to get to the area.      “Last one there is a rotten egg! And you don’t get any of the remaining snacks!” you screamed back at him, but he wasn’t there.     Looking forward, you realize Gojo is now ahead of you by a landslide. Yelling unintelligibly about the tasty remaining snacks in the basket. Atleast, that’s what you assume he’s yelling about, but you were sure he would save some for you.    Today, was a good day.