Smoking kills, Kids! ... really it does, don’t do it.

MAN IS SMOKING HOT AHUGHHHHHABSUEHW HAHAHAHAHAHA IM FERAL

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME :　Panda

PRONOUNS :　She / Her

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION :　Discord. While I can use tumblr dms, I most likely might miss them. Discord is the best form of communication for me.

NAME  OF  MUSE(S) :　Primary muses are Caitlyn Kiramman & Ahri. Secondary are Mel Medarda & Aloy. Tertiary are Elora & Vi. By Request is Nidalee & Janna

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ) :　Holy shit, you want me to count that far back. You want me to tell you how old I really am!?! So, I started to roleplay when computers were pretty new to houses. YES! I was one of those kids that was graced by the first computers in houses! I think my first computer was a IMB one or something, but I started playing on a computer with internet back in 2000. My parents didn't have a lot of money so we couldn't get an earlier computer; this was a gift from a friend at church for me. It had Windows 98 I think or something. I don't know.

Anyway, got distracted, but when that  came around, one of the first forums every I think that had roleplaying on the web was called Avidgamers. I played Pokemon as a self insert character. One liner diaster writer I was. So yeah, I've been roleplaying for about 23 years now, but in terms of writing, I have been writing stories since I was 9 years old, so that is about 26 years (I use to also write self insert stories in Sailor Moon or Pokemon or things like that XD). Anywho, I went on a tangent, anyone who reads this your amazing.

BEST  EXPERIENCE :　Oh man, I'm not sure. There are so many things that could be my best. I use to own forums before, I had some amazing partners. I miss them dearly and I hope they are doing amazing things now. Honestly, I think its just the level of growth I've had over the years. From going to being a self-insert writer who could only write a line or two, to now trying to expand my writing and doing more. To be more quality then quantity, but also meeting partners who absolutely challenge me to write better and be better. I want to be good for people, but there are those partners that absolutely push me to try even harder and be even better.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS :　I'm not saying this is a pet peeve? but I typically stray away from one liners or massive purple prose writing that I don't understand what I'm reading. While I never deny anyone's choice of writing, these are the things I tend to stay away from because I personally cannot write them. I  can't really say what my pet peeves are? I probably have some but I don't know of the top of my mind.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT :　I am, hands down, an absolute fiend for angst. I know it might be overwhelming for some people but I really find it carthatic for myself? and have a double enjoyment of angst that turns to fluff. I like to call it Angsty Fluff, or Fluffy Angst. The bonding of two people in difficult moments whether that is fighting to survive death or helping someone through a rough period. Two people, bonding and encouraging each other is something I really enjoy to write. I also don't mind writing smut, I actually enjoy it but I do tend to write smut with people who I heavily plot with often.

PLOTS  OR  MEMES :　Plots. While I post memes a lot, I do try to create a plot line to those memes too. I need some kidn of foundation. I am not looking for a written out script we have to follow to a T, that's not what I mean. What I am looking for is just like this idea to build around, maybe even talking about our muses connections and waht they are dealing with at the time. That kind of foundation and design really helps me feel more connected to our msues and the writing. I love memes, but I tend to only continue memes with people I plot with a lot.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES :　I love long threads. like you don't have to apologize for anything because I thrive on really long replies. I have had replies go up to 1.5k words, which absolutely thrills me. The shortest replies I can do is maybe 2 paragraphs. Any shorter then that, and I tend to loose interest and have to drop it.

BEST TIME TO WRITE :　Honestly, no idea. I am far more productive at night my time (CST). I tend to stay up til 2 or 3am.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) :　Caitlyn is very much my muse, so much so we relate on many different levels. I understand her deeply and I'm very connected to her. As for my other muses, yes and now. But caitlyn, hands down, is almost like a part of me that I get to write fully.

➤ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 [ : ] @knifvd - Thank you dear ♡ ➤ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 [ : ] @shimmerbeasts, @hexcoremagician, @goldenfists, @futureforged, @goldusk, @gauntlets-shot, @blackrosesmatron, @angelicxlly, @dynaisms, @decidentia, @demacianhcart, @jynxd, @piltover-sharpshooter, @powdied, @ofspvrta, @undercity-prodigy, @torntruth, @tricoloredillusion, @realmyths, @weavertali, and anyone else who wants to.

So. Lightyear.

Saw it, didn’t really like it. Just wasn’t that fun, really. Sorry if anybody’s bored with my long-winded movie posts (though I think I’ve only done three-ish, including this one, so eh? I just feel like it).

Anywho, here’s: (My) Thoughts About the Lightyear Movie: Live As I Thought Them. Didn’t see it in theaters because I’m not about to give them any money. Sure wish I could feel better about it :/

Spoilers ahoy. Also very, very messy format because I’m already asleep.

(To spare those who just want a recommendation one way or the other, I’d say... If you’re reeeally curious, wait for it to come out on KimCartoon for better quality. Socks- or SOX I guess- is, predictably, the best part. If you have any doubts, you’re better off not and just writing your own version fanfic-style. Or hey! Make it an original one! It’d most likely be better.)

Warnings for those who want to see it:  Time warping/seeing people you love die while you stay young/time travel  Moments of spacewalking through deep space and all the visuals that go with it (astrophobics, be prepared; though you probably would be, ‘cuz it’s a space movie)  Character death (multiple; some natural, some... murdery. And... cat-shaped)  Stupid writing

  NOT sure how much I like the whole "it was a movie" idea in the beginning... also more pandering than I’d prefer, but it’s tolerable. Kind of a point and go “oh hey! :D” thing but sometimes it feels... weird for his character   Stupid Buzz is gonna be here for the whole movie isn't he   Okay, the 'blow into it to make it work again' joke made me chuckle (but... HOW did he blow into it THROUGH his helmet??? Oh wait I guess the visor wasn't down yet)   Hawthorn is gay? Buzz knows she's gay? That's neat... for now. Awaiting further movie scenes.   USE REAL WHITE NOISE YOU COWARDS   WHAT WHAT WAHT WHAWT HWA TWHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAAAT (HAWTHORN IS PREGGY WHYYYYYYYY!?!?!? WAS NOT GIRL???? WAS GIRL??????? TRANS??? THAT’S FINE BUT IT DIDN’T- SHE- WHAAT AND WHYY I"M LITERALLY THE CONFUSED MEME GUY)   I'm gonna fuNking cry but I won't because gosh dang it   "BURNSIDE" UH-HUH REEEAL SUBTLE WITH THAT ONE BUB... Thought for a second it was gonna be the Hawthorn's son but naaah I guess not   Okay, the sleep dart bit made me chuckle   *siiigh* mooore pandering lines from the first Toy Story movie... guess they had to get those ‘inner voice’ lines from somewhere. but the second he got pounced I totally called it   Also, calling it once again: Zurg is SeCrEtLY Burnside ~tHe WhOlE tImE~   STUPID BUZZ IS GONNA BE HERE FOR THE WHOLE MOVIE ISN'T HE (in regards to NOT KNOWING WHAT NOISE A CAT MAKES WHEN THEY'RE HAPPY)   Just now remembering that Mr Rookie never got a time to shine- or be remembered when he dIED. Unnecessary character but with such puppy eyes. How dare they /j   PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF- STO P CALLING IT "OPERATION SURPRISE PARTY"- IT'S DEMEANING (AND ANNOYING)   WAIT THIS MEANS THAT ZURG MIGHT NOT BE HIS FATHER! NOOOO I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT REVELATION! THEY BROUGHT BACK THE CRYSTAL FUSION THING WHY NOT THAT??   HE'S WEARING FEATHERGFJBUGJD'S SUIT OH MY GOSH   Okay, the Socks being in front of his field of view bit made me chuckle   Still not entirely sure why stealth mode wears off. Just not sure. At all. The only reason so far seems to be because that's what the writers want it to do.   The dark side of the planet? You mean... The side that's currently experiencing "night"? Is that... bad?   Calling it: each "cadet" has a special skill, don't they? Well, that's a given I suppose.   Okay, the thumb-point and "specialized capacitors" bit made me chuckle   It's cute how Socks thinks that flashlight is actually doing anything- unless it's for him personally in which case that's kinda cute   You know, it always confuses me how when someone is falling and they have their arm extended, how someone's ALWAYS able to catch them in the nick of time despite how they're still falling off-camera. They should... still be falling. OUT of reach. The magic of cinema I suppose   Okay, the snack bit made me chuckle   DO NOT TELL ME THAT HE DIDn'T FINISH HIS SANDWICH- DO NOT TELL ME HE HAS ENOUGH FOOD IN HIS BELLY TO MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE REST OF THE MOVIE- GOSH DANG IT THIS IS MY PROBLEM WITH FOOD SCENES IN MOVIES- "SHOW UP, EAT ONE BITE, MISSION ACCOMILISHED, LEAVE SCENE"   Oh hey it's yer dad   The ONLY interesting part thus far was Zurg extending his hand to Buzz. However- he'd better not- and I repeat NOT- turn out to be Burnside. I. SWEAR.   Wha- Why? Is Buzz? Suddenly accepting their help??? Did- Did I miss something?   I CALLED IT- I CALLED IT- THE ARM LASER WAS GONNA BE A THING HE PUT ON HIMSELF I SOOO CALLED IT   Oh nooo a falling out among the besties whoever could've predicted tHIS (are you SERIOUS!? We’re STILL doing that!?!?)   Ohooo~? Not a falling out among the besties? Well, not quite, though it's understandable   Oh hey it’s yer da-..................... i'm so tired. i'm so, unbelievably tired. i'm just so, so, so....... so very tired. no, no, no- no we're not doing that we're not doing this   "I'm you, dumb@$$" - Maxine Caulfield, Life Is Strange   -HE- WAS ZURG THE WHOOOOOOLE TIME-- THE WORST- the worst twist I can't even begin to- uuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHH ihatetimetravel   "Buzz I've broken time! :D What's happening--" (paused it right there to scream into the void and I literally laughed because I couldn't have said it better mySELF)   So... Buzz 2 just... found the big ominous spaceship?? With nobody else on it? Just “oh hey a spaceship full of such neato technology! Mine now :D” and that was that..? Also, how did he “borrow” the tech from their other place? Without anybody noticing?   Okay, fine, the second sleep dart bit made me chuckle- FOR THE LAST TIME (see I can do it too)   “No... I’M sorry” (snaps Thanos fingers)   KILL HIM END HIM ANNIHILATE HIM   Wait- how can Socks detect Buzz’ signals but not another him-signal?   How did they re-pull the Surrender String so quickly??? Unless all the balloons inexplicably popped?   "I already am home uwu"   (holds up finger) I have SEVERAL questions   "nah I got my squad already :D"   Just- real quick, while it's still on my mind- why couldn't Buzz have been in jail/on parole for 4 years? As an ironic punishment BEFORE getting the job, to experience life on their new home? Instead, he IMMEDIATELY gets promoted to Ranger again?? By someone who, the last time WE saw him, AND Buzz saw him, DIDN'T LIKE BUZZ! WHEN did he change his tune? WHY did he change his tune??   Angus MacLane. Matthew Aldrich. Jason Headley. Dean Kelly. Jessica Jarvers. Katherine Gugger. Laura Holshouser. Better watch your backs. 'Cuz I'll be chewing on ‘em.

So, post-viewing, I had hopes. First trailer, had 'em. They were right there, so curious, but so, so cautious. Now here I am. I feel like, uhh... Like a battery I guess. A very drained battery. So I'm gonna go and recharge now.

Have a day.

There's a movie/comic called All Star Superman that's about Clark trying to put his affairs in order before his death. Imagine that basic concept, only it revolves around Kara preparing to leave for the future instead. Wouldn't that have made for a much more interesting final season of Supergirl?

Well, we were clowning about it before the series ended and we ended as CLOWNS, so ya know.

I mean, that would have been a good idea and dunno, something waht was expected, because the story led to that. But I don't know why they did what they did, they thought it was too obvious so they went with shit like that? Because Kara became fully human, had to stay with her human sister and thirdwheel her forever? Because it's so impossible to stay in touch even if she is in the future and come and visit huh? Especially now, when she is OFF PLANET all the time, even 10 years after and the other shows have to dance around the most stupid idea aka Kara becoming a new Kardashian on a whim.

Fucking seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life, time, nerves and investment for a show that didn't deserve a shit, thanks to the writers and producers who never really cared about their main hero.

Am I bitter? As fuck

March 29, 2023

do I need to start typing to get a feel for it? would be nice to just start. not how it seems to go though

not how it se \ems to go n o t the original. a percentage of them. french telephone voice, a boxy voice

casino viges. painting a soud? or….

yes, the dream currents, sitcom babble

now it’s only one of the reasons, another telephone voice almost ffell asleep there

this is maybe the choir, the corner now. it’s all a phone call

hard to remember visions. I host covered in red sores, won’t uset that, don’t even watn to remember it moving on.

tou can find thengs whenever oyou like, or… book it, wood

with a vocal fry

the antifigure is oging to be so much better. a plastic clud toy, mcdonaalds toy

and he hung his hatter. You want to staff patrol. yeah.

that’s put to be anyhthing ffrom the calitoverse, or… calitoverse, wiht a mouthful of plastic something

I’m drifting off too much, hard to remember

is it in either language, or floddenlty, floddenly, sez an ashamed man. I don’t know why

in england they don’t stop fettamie, and I don’t know why. this was knocking down a dstatute, in explicably. they didn’t knowck it down in england.

shredder, shreeddderr. I don’t knowI got it! you got it. mostly got it. cell phone company futuristic jingle. boop boop boop, a red line zig zags

thesee guys are starving contract writers, right? I’ve got to … shut ift off., or something. i don’ kt knowthe plot is hard to follow

meti mouse. a team mouse. get thos esleepingtyping phrases in.

by like cypric grander. Like vegetables. whatever

pitch em together. . assume a song, that is the con. a wellspring. a wild centre? . Do you want us on the paddingi? petting? maybe its’ time. go, and go. I had this isdea… pith in the game, the hours, a tied up rope poofed into flame, freedom

I’m in your little ninety nine, broadband commitment, other things, peopel talking at me like in VR. naturally

it wasn’t thish, it wasn’t thish when I was out therepeninsula, but r chang, and go kart something. what even

you have the passage, youre safe, and. traversed, and then I loosed an enemy. propotional help, ev-ver-y-one. pro potional help, as we don’t know. lu can. I;m the most interesting person, let me load. going off the rails a bit there, but the transcript may not reflect it. let’s start wrappign this up

deborah branch incentives, zero on my media, I wonder how these feelings work. (I am transcribing the dream voices_. manual manual compensation. it’s the kind of fairytale where…

feeels like it’s pretty close to my shift, says someone’s plush toy man. thanksgiving, you pay second favours. Anyway, that’s waht I’m doing.

You seem like the mom friend, may I cry in your inbox? I feel so stressed and conflicted. I’m a writer and I really love writing HCs for the bad batch, including all of them. But now I feel bad about writing for Crosshair. I really don’t want to seem like I’m supporting racism. I’m just out here worrying about the final. If Crosshair ends up not being brainwashed, then I doubt I’ll ever write for him again. This is so hard

I am 100% the mom friend and my inbox and DMs are always open, love.

Now, I would say you should not feel bad for writing for Crosshair, if you are INSPIRED to write for him. If his character sparks you some creative juices, the motivation to write... go for it. That is what fandoms are all about, and if people on your dash are taking the allegories too seriously that they cant even have fun anymore, then block them. Literally, fuck the people who are being negative about this. I hate that they have gotten to you and are making you feel this way. You are not a bad person for having a fondness for a 'villain' character in a fictional universe. You are not supporting racism for having a problematic fav. because this is a TV show. This is tumblr. Where people have been simping for Loki for over a decade. Where people talk about wanting to fuck Darth Vader. Where people literally want to be murdered by Aro. Where people want to be dicked down by Thanos. Where people write 50+ chapter Darth Maul x OC self insert fics.

ya know. BECAUSE THOSE ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. and we are all on this website copping creatively with people who ALSO have a fondness for those characters. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL? TF.

Having a fondness for a villian doesn't make you a villian nor does it mean you support their fake actions within their fake universe. It just means something about their personality strikes a chord with you. You identify with something about them, but that's NOT a bad thing.

For waht it's worth - I also really firmly believe he still has his chip. When they adjusted his programming at the beginning of the season I feel like they programmed him with false memories of being de-chipped to reaffirm his loyalty. If I'm wrong, like literally... whatever. He's still sympathetic. It's not as fucking black and white as some of these children on tumblr are making it out to be. Please look at THIS beautiful post that sums it up perfectly.

And if you want to stop writing for Crosshair, that is 100% fine and OKAY. But don't let some of the dramatic ass people in this fandom who are trying so hard to exaggerate the allegories in a TV show made for children into being the EXACT SAME LEVEL as real world atrocities, stop you from doing something you love 🤷

FATWS Episode 4

I’m finally fucking getting time to watch this thing. 

Dramatic reactions, incoherent ramblings and spoilers under the cut. 

Right off the bat I’m feeling like the only thing I really remember about Episode Three is vaguely not trusting Sharon Carter. I’m really supposed to believe Peggy Carters Niecey, defender of Captain America and dismantler of Hydra really is selling stolen art in Madripoor? Seems fake, but okay. 

Let’s get into it. 

Have I mentioned I love Karli’s freckles? Her hair and her freckles kill me, I never understood people who don’t think freckles are cute. They are actual dots of delightfulness

AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AYO AYO AYO She is so ridiculously beautiful wtf. I’m shaving my head TOMORROW so I can be half as amazing as her. 

Wait is this a Wakanda flashback? Six years ago... ohhhh look at my goatherder Jesus Bucky, let that baby rest. WHY IS SHE SAYING THE WORDS? LOOK AT HIS EYES PLEASE STOP. This is hurting my soul. Oh god homecoming, and it’s the moment he knew Steve. Oh the tears, I can’t. I CAN’T. “You are free” I’m already crying and it’s been 1.2 minutes. 

Damn right the White Man doesn’t understand anything of their loss and shame. LISTEN TO BUCKY SPEAK WAKANDAN. I LOVE IT. Urgh she’s so beautiful. Her murder strut is impeccable. I’m in love and I’m swoooooooning. 

“It was sweet of you to defend me” Zemo take ten to twenty percent off the top there, This isn’t a date.

Hey, I feel like I don’t love that they refer to Karli as “Karli”. If she was a man, it would be Last Name Basis. “She’s a kid” “she’s a supremacist.” hmmm seeing a parallel between Wanda and Karli and the way they were treated. “She’s a kid?” She’s actually ridiculously powerful but thanks for that. (no Wanda hate here, just pointing it out) 

“My TT” ITS HIS AUNTIE BUCKY YOU’D KNOW THIS IF YOU WERE EVER INVITED TO THE COOKOUT 

Uh Zemo, maybe we don’t be the creepy guy in the coat offering children candy. I mean, the tactic worked but you could literally not be creepier right now.  Honestly I don’t know why I’m so surprised he’s keeping the Donya thing from them, duh he’s a villain, but I’m still surprised?? The sugar daddy role got me FOOLED

Sam being the one that understands what it means to be fighting to be on the other side of the “barbed wire fences” is so sad. 

BUCKY’S MAD. Sam has something against head tilts, that’s so funny to me for some reason. I DON’T TRUST SHARON. 

Why do I smell some foreshadowing with Karli’s talk about destroying the shield and how it’s a relic of a bygone era and a symbol of everyone that was left out

“take it easy before it gets weird” SAM. 

John Walker literally looks more sketchy every time we see him. Also, if you can’t say “son, just don’t” and everyone stops in their tracks, you are NOT Captain America. Its worrying me that Battlestar (battleship? lmaoooo) is starting to side with BuckySam because if there’s one thing literally every movie has taught me, it’s that the person who switches sides ends up dead and if I have to watch a POC first be relegated to sidekick and then killed I might actually riot

It’s so good to see Sam being Counselor!Sam. I think that gets so overlooked with him and I think it’s one of the most defining traits of his character. He’s not just a soldier, he’s not just brave, he’s seen the loss and he knows the struggle and he chose to help others through it while also being equally willing to suit back up and save the world. 

“Don’t patronize me” stop acting like a damn child. Why is John so twitchy, I don’t like it. OH is he really gonna say “this is easy for you, all this serum running through your veins” as if Bucky had a say in anything about in his life beyond Azzano. 

GET HIM BITCH punch his raggedy ass! 

Oh look at Bucky jumping, Winter Soldier, more like Winter Squirrel PARKOUR. Goddamn Zemo with his gun, oh no look at all that super soldier serum! I mean, you have to commend the guy for never wavering from his path. JOHN WALKER AND THE SERUM! It’s supposed to amplify what’s in your heart?? AND HE SUCKS OH NO. 

The power broker texts her “little girl” that’s so gross. 

“Separate them and kill Captain America” three months ago I would have howled at that line, now I’m like...meh. 

Sam wouldn’t have taken the serum-- not surprising. He’s a good man all by himself. No serum needed. Have you seen those arms? Actual Cannons of Freedom and Justice. “What about bucky” I love that he’s thinking about Bucky. Someone please protect these boys. 

Aw Bucky baby you’re not crazy. It’s funny to see him drink cos he definitely can’t get drunk. It’s the equivalent of some diva drinking a white wine spritzer. 

WHY IS JOHN WALKER BACK. 

THERE’S MY WOMEN OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED IN MY LIFE. Do not shake her hand. John Walker, she will bite your hand off. Pointy Sticks, the Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever they want OMG HE TOUCHED HER omg. Look at Zemo sipping his drink LOOKING STRONG JOHN I CANNOT I CANNOT.

“Lets talk about this” Bucky is so calm. Bye bye Zemo. Oh GET it Sam with those fancy moves. 

...what just happened with Bucky’s arm. what just happened. “James” oh man waht does that mean?! Has Wakanda left him? Has he dishonored Them? My brain is moving too fast for this. 

I would like to have a moment of silence for John Walkers ego because he, a White Man (tm) and Solder (tm) and American (tm) just got his shit actually handed to him by a Black woman and he sat there and tried to more her “pointy stick” and couldn’t and then she full on did the shield kick thing while he sat on the ground and looked up at her and you know what? i think that’s very sexy of her, I will be watching this scene on repeat for the next hundred years wtf. 

Also ALSO? This is it. This is the moment where The Man (tm) can’t handle being beat so he goes and does something stupid, this is it, isn’t it? The Man Pain he just can’t tolerate? 

Oh my god Bucky’s face with his arm. I mean, it makes sense his arm would come off but to have himself literally disarmed (get it) in a fight is so... I mean it’s violating in a way, and its almost a betrayal as well but at the same time maaaaaaybe it’s a relief? Maybe its a relief to know he doesn’t always have to be a Soldier, he can take the arm off and just be Bucky?? 

Also I had to pause the show to write about this because my hand cramped up from trying to type too fast ughhh

Back into it 

ARM PORN NOISES I LOVE THEM

Whats an El Chapo? Oh wait, I figured it out. 

I love Lemar’s voice. He’s so confident talking about the serum but lets be perfectly honest, Karli Morgenthau and Steve Rogers are basically the same person a hundred years apart. If you don’t think Steve Rogers would have singlehandedly led a revolt against a world government he thought was wrong, you are 100% incorrect. Not that I think he wouldn’t have resorted to bombings etc, but also... that sort of life does awful things to people. 

WHY IS SHE CALLING SARAH. “My world doesn’t matter to America” oh sweetheart, I feel that in my soul. Sarah knows who Sam is. She knows he’s not working for John Walker. This is the first time I’ve been anti-Karli. I know she’s desperate but you don’t threaten someones babies. 

HEY LOOK THERE’S ME NOT TRUSTING SHARON AGAIN

It actually makes me angry to even see Walker carrying the shield like that. I’m aware it’s an overreaction, but your honor, I hate him. 

...Lemar? 

Don’t make me watch a POC die for some White Man’s story arc, don’t do that. 

Oh. Shit. 

Sam do something. SAM DO SOMETHING. HE’S NOT GOOD SAM! 

My god do I love watching Bucky fight. Those Kicks of Vengeance will never get old. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER use them wings Sam. 

Oh Hoskins is okay. Alright. 

Bucky with the good knives, I LOVE HIM. The fight scenes are always so well coordinated in WS. We see you definitely not killing when you absolutely could. 

OH FUCK HOSKINS WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T GOING TO DO THIS WHAT THE FUCK

...this makes me so mad wtf. We couldn’t have done this journey without pointlessly sacrificing a POC? No? Have to drag that trope out? Gonna make me watch another Black man be killed just so the White Guy can move his story forward. 

oh shit Walker is MAD. 

Fuck he just-- he just murdered someone with Steve’s shield. he just MURDERED SOMEONE WITH THE SHIELD AND EVERYONE WAS WATCHING. 

And look at him, he feels no remorse. He feels perfectly justified. He is DARING them to say something to him. He is America (tm) brutally silencing protests and rebellions and taking his own issues out on people he feels disrespect him and you can’t tell him he’s wrong because he can justify every drop of blood by making it about how he felt “they beat me and they weren’t even super soldiers. they disobeyed me. they should have listened to me. they killed my friend.”

I keep hearing preserum Steve saying “I don’t like bullies” and then imagining him beating the shit out of Walker. 

...That visual of the shield with blood on it... it’s so... shocking isn’t even the right word. Horrifying. Its horrifying.  

I don’t even know what to say. 

This episode was a whiplash. The writers of this series need to be commended. Also the stunt men and the fight choreographers. Fucking kudos, and now I need a stiff drink and a good cry because this episode took it OUT of me. 

the 100 diaries S2 E5

quarantine diaries: may 28 2020

season 2 episode 5: “Human Trials”

i guess a mother always recognizes her daughter even through all that dirt. ngl i cant help but think about how much clarke stinks. Literally was in a pile of bodies and was covered in blood and mud. yet her mother is there hugging and kissing her. 

side note: what if clarke was just a salty bitch and the first thing she said to abby was ‘im still not talking to you. because do you remember when you killed dad?’ i would die  

i love how they are flipping this stereotype of mountain men as in you know how we generally associate mountain people/hillbilly’s as poor uneducated lower class citizens but in this show it’s the opposite. im pretty sure this wasn’t intentional tho. i just watch the documentary “hillbilly” it’s just been on my mind recently

wow kane be doing the important work out here planing a tree. rebuild the ecosystem. side note is climate change/global warming still an issue in this universe or nah?

clarke you just escaped mount weather, survived being hunted alive, survived that fight with anya, survived being shot at. all within a day?! you need to rest. but i guess if you have solar radiation blood you just operate at a different level

bellamy!!! with a new girl around his arm and wearing bellamy’s jacket

nvm. its back to bellamy and clarke. that hugg was like....ok i feel it. i feel the zutara energy. octavia even ships it. but her eye also be saying ‘bitch if you hurt him i swear...’

i swear if finn dies before reuniting with clarke. this show would tho. or like clarke find finn in his final moments

what tf are they doing to lincoln?!

why the hell is bryne in this meeting? is she not going to face any repercussions for shooting at two innocent kids one of whom she killed?! you cant just shoot and kill innocent people without facing consequences? (let me remind you abby was lashed 10 times for less) im not going to get deep into this rn because this blog was not meant for this stuff and i know this show takes place in a different time but with everything that is going on right now in the u.s. i just have to say that pulling out a gun and shooting a person should not be an automatic response and police abusing their power, abusing their authority is not okay.

bellamy bringing up some good points. fight abby! run away with clarke!!

now would have been a good time to bring up your father clarke but maybe shes just waiting to use that one.

raven is the real one with the guns and electrical fence. why was it so easy to escape the camp. like too easy.

maya causing a rift between monty and jaspers. noooo! did we not learn from what happened with Octavia?

maya and the radiation. a bit much. how does this show keep out doing themselves. scene after scene. just when you think that it is safe.

jasper really is a simp giving that blood. octavia? jasper doesnt know her. 

clarke’s face when bellamy told her that finn killed for her. she was like ‘wow. really. i love him more now.’ i know it wasnt meant to be taken this way but clarkes doey eyes don’t lie. 

finn really just threw some fire into the villages whole food supply. woah finn is going crazy here. he really just turned this into a hostage situation. i guess when you hang out with murphy you turn into murphy.

“this one is thoroughbred.” a thoroughbred of what? the British Royal Line? i swear if they tell me that lincoln is a descendant of queen Elizabeth ill die (if you’re wondering about my thought process on this...the best explanation i can give you are those memes about queen Elizabeth being immortal)

monty out here asking the right questions. monty straight up put his hands and sat down. staying right by his friend’s side. we stan a loyal king. monty really shined in this scene. you have to agree. this is my favorite moment of the show thus far.

abby slapped a one legged girl. abby she is a kid and you is an adult. yeah abby just lost some points in my book.

preach raven preach. yeah these kids loss their sense of innocence a looooong time ago. get with the program abby

jaha and kane reunited!! I guess my ship hasn’t been sunk yet. but also wasnt he just in the desert?

woooow this is full on hostage situation? is finn gonna go full anakin? and just embrace the dark side?

murphy suddenly a good guy?? 

now lincoln is a drugy? waht?

also what with the veins on these mountain people. please tell me they’re vampires and thats the real reason they don’t go to the outside in the sun. plus all the blood transfusions a bit suspicious if you ask me

aahh daddy. nepotism. fun fact about me absolutely no one asked for: “nepotism” is one of my favorite office episodes

but also that son be looking like he don’t listen to daddy. i swear the son is gonna turn on him. bet.

yep finn really killed kids and woman. this boy went full anakin. but i guess the writers be planting this plot point: spacewalker more like skywalker. yes this is a dumb theory but what if this is what the writers were actually thinking when they wrote finns character...

finn out did himself. i think he has highest body count out of all those from the 100. i think the real turning point in his character development was when he killed that reaper in the mines with clarke. it was right there and then that the knew he was willing to kill for clarke and hes not just gonna stop now. love really makes people do crazy things. big yikes when clarke caught him in the act. but ofc the show would have clarke appear 5 minutes finn goes ballistic. 

but also finn is joe from you. literally doing the most for the one he loves even tho his love never asked for any of it. and not feeling that bad about it. the boy literally massacred a village but the first thing he says to clarke is “i found you” ...yeah finn really did a 180 in the worst way possible

side note: to anyone who thinks im being hypocritical about bryne/the guard and finn. let me remind you that finn is a kid whose brain has not fully developed. he also has been through a lot shit since since being sent to earth so he is bound to be unstable. now im not saying that finn doesnt deserves any repercussions because believe me i do. i will get mad if he faces no consequences. but the fact of the matter is that byrne and the guard, people who are entrusted with power and authority cannot just abuse their power and authority shooting at random on the whim that anyone and anything is a threat.

First, hello. A few facts about me: I'm German, currently still living in Germany, going to school, 10th grade and am somewhat interessted in history. As it is in Germany you can't be interessted in history without at least knowing more about World War 2 than the average person, although I believe that Germans tend to see the horror in it, yet still make jokes and laugh about it more than other nations. There also are a lot, and I mean a lot of movies about WW2 or set in WW2. One of these is my number 3 favorite movie, Inglorious Basterds. Now, when I first watched IB, I immediately (as so many of us probably) fell in love with SS-Colonel Hans Landa, whom I'll just be referring to as Hans from now on. I wondered about something everytime I watched him though and that was what exactly made him so terrifying? What makes our blood run cold the moment we hear this abstract, weird version of Für Elise, or at least this abstract song with the Für Elise beginning? What makes us feel as if we're in serious danger everytime Hans is on screen? It couldn't just be the uniform or his obvious Nazi typical mannerisms, no, otherwise we would have been just as scared of Gestapo Major Dieter Hellstrom and I don't know about you, but the more I watch IB, the more I think Dieter is just hilariously failing at trying to be like Hans.

So, what made Hans so different? Well, in my opinion you can already see that in the first scene.

Let's make one thing clear here, I'm a writer, I want to become a psychologist, I can't and won't talk about this in a cinematography kind of way, but rather on a people level. Also, I'm a theatre kid, so I'm gonna use some of the shit I learned in drama class and all in all this is just a lot of rambling and me fanboying over Nazi Daddy Landa, so don't take everything I say too seriously.

The first thing I want to briefly touch upon is the music. The iconic intro of Für Elise, a song that screams German and what is it followed by? Abstract, not at all fitting notes, making you feel uneasy because something isn't right at all. LaPadite and his daughter also show this perfectly. She sees the car driving their way, the music sets in, their erratic, nervous and you as the audience don't know why. You can guess why, a German song in the background, a movie set in WW2? This is going to be Nazis, no doubt, but you're still uneasy because something just doesn't seem right. Not one bit.

And then Hans arrives, open top car, showing that he's not at all scared about what he is doing. He tells his men he doesn't want to be disturbed and walks up to LaPadite, asking if this land belongs to the LaPadites, fully aware that of course it does, but still being polite, asking questions, introducing himself and shaking LaPadites hand. This handshake shows perfectly that from that moment on Hans has full control over the entire situation. Hans is the one initiating the handshake and he holds it. If you look closely you can see LaPadite trying to take his hand away, but Hans doesn't let him. He looks into LaPadites eyes, holding the stare, his hand still firmly gripping LaPadites. Hans politely asks if he could be invited in, a clear order disguised as a polite question and when LaPadite agrees and wants to walk off, Hans lays his hand on LaPadites upper arm, showing that he has a higher status than LaPadite, that he is in control and they both know it.

The next bit that just makes you hold your breath is when Hans meets LaPadites daughters, mesmerized by Charlottes beauty, her having blonde hair and blue eyes, the Arien norm the Nazis were so fascinated with. She is the only one he pays attention to, staring at her even after sitting down, his face devote of emotion, just an emtpy stare that you're unable to read. When another of the daughters was asked to get him a glass of wine, Hans gripped her arm, soft, yet clearly in a threatening way. We know he has power over everyone in that room, but we don't see him clearly abusing this power, we only see small motions like that and that makes us nervous, because we wait for the moment he snaps but it just doesn't happen.

When he tells LaPadite to sit down with him and tells him to send his girls outside, we see that this is Hans' stage. He decides who goes where when and you follow those orders.

Next Hans asks to switch the language to English because his French is exhausted and he would only embarrass himself if he kept on talking, but once you have seen the full scene, you know this was only so that he could have a full conversation with LaPadite without the Dreyfuses underneath the floorboards knowing too much and making a silent escape.

From here on it gets really clear that Hans doesn't accept a simple yes or no as an answer, or any answer that he deems as too vague. He asks LaPadite to „please tell me waht you've heard“ after asking him if he's familiar with who Hans is, reminding LaPadite of the monster that is sitting in front of him. He wants LaPadite to talk, to slip up and reveal himself so that Hans can get the job done with and leave.

Hans smiles when LaPadite tells him that his visit may be pleasant, but LaPadite doesn't know why Hans is there. Hans smiles because he knows LaPadite is lying and we know that Hans knows. That's a terrifying thought. We don't know how he knows, all we know is he does. Hans entire preperation happened off screen, we know exactly nothing about him except for the fact that he knows. That he has power and knows the secrets hanging heavy in the air.

He drags the entire process as long as he can, doing everything neat and tidy, getting LaPadite to talk, asking him questions, still accepting no vague answers. When LaPadite asked if he could smoke his pipe, Hans reacts in a sort of „don't be silly“ demeanor. As if he isn't the one in control of everything, but just a mere guest in LaPadites house out of pure friendliness from LaPadite.

Now, let's get to my favorite part of the scene, the rat speech. This entire speech is just so that we would agree with Hans. Makes us understand his position, maybe even feel sympathy for him. He says he loves his nickname „precisely because I've earned it.“, saying it as if he means „I worked hard for this“, trying to gather sympathy. „I don't consider the comparison an insult“ can be read as the typical „I'm not the bad guy here, I'm not like them, I don't have anything against Jews.“ and I'm pretty sure I am not the only one believes him with that, who believes him that he never had anything against Jews, but merely just followed the regime flooding the entirety of Europe. When he says he doesn't consider the comparison an insult, he puts a hand onto his chest, underlining this „it's not me who's the bad one“ meaning. He makes us agree with him through comparisons like the one between a rat and a squirrel, because it's true. He repeats certain aspects, making it clear that they are important, making us think about it and in the end agreeing. It's terrifying to realize how easy he can make you agree with something so atrocious. It's as if he gets into your head with complete ease.

I always felt as if the phrase „Because I'm aware of what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity“ felt off. Just, not really fitting, but that's for another time. After smoking his ridiculous pipe, which, let's be honest here, was not intended to intimidate LaPadite further, but was probably just something Hans thought was fucking hilarious (it was) since Hans is someone with a sense of humor. A really dark and disturbed sense of humor, but he loves cracking jokes and this was one of them. Anyway, he emphasizes a lot on the word „dictates“. His job dictates that his men conduct a search. Hans doesn't want to do this but he has to. It's again this weird sense of sympathy we feel for him. When he talks about the irregularities and says that „rest assured there will be“ some, we have the last clue that we needed. Now it's obvious that Hans knows everything. He knows that the Dreyfuses are hiding beneath the floorboards, he knows LaPadite has been lying, he knows everything.

What he is doing now is disguising obvious threats as rewards, telling LaPadite that his family would be save if he told Hans everything Hans wanted to know, reminding him that his daughters were outside with Hans men and that with one word from Hans, they could be shot on the spot and by now not just LaPadite but also the audience know that Hans would indeed give them the order to kill the girls just to get the information he wants.

I believe that from here on it's very obvious why we're so scared of Hans, if you don't remember, go back and watch the scene again. Actually, go watch the entire movie, it's wonderful.

Now, this was just a short retelling of the first 20 minutes, a lot of the things I mentioned were repeated to enhance the feeling and of course I may be reading way too much into this, but honestly? I don't care. It was fun writing this, it was even more fun staring at frame for frame of those first 20 minutes for more than 2 days, talking to myself more than I talked to anyone else the entire past week, but I just love Hans on so many levels. Christoph Waltz acting is amazing, he is an amazing actor that deserves the two Oscars he won and even more and I hope we will see him in a lot more movies before having to part from him.

Please excuse any mistakes since it's fairly late, I'm dying on the inside (well, I'm already dead inside but you know what I mean), English isn't my mothertongue and all in all I'm just ranting as always.

Stay hydrated you wonderful human beings.

“hi! sorry that this is so long aaa it’s kind of a complex situation that i have mixed feelings on so i couldn’t word it very concisely… also i hope you have a good day! ty for being so nice about this

also this isn’t meant to be a “you guys are horrible and i can’t believe you wrote this!!!!” b/c i don’t think it was intentional at all, just had some bad connotations… but w/ blanche’s writing i. hm i hope this is worded well but i feel like making him mentally ill kind of didn’t mix well w/ his narrative role as someone who’s supposed to be irredeemable/bad, especially b/c he also comes off as specifically someone dealing with low empathy and difficulty recognizing others as real/tangible people who can be hurt + difficulty knowing what to do When he’s hurt others which (as someone with multiple cluster b personality disorders) is a big issue when you’re cluster b.”

i’m putting the rest of this under the cut not to minimize what was actually done but so the root and answer can be easily addressed! you don’t have to apologize for it being long you spoke very concisely and worded the issue well and i appreciate it being brought up a great deal :] i’m also happy you brought this up because this was something i was struggling with a lot being blanche’s player and i do have a lot i would like to say that will hopefully explain, but that isn’t really necessary reading and the main thing i and the other mods want to say is that we are sorry for pushing that kind of narrative. there are more reasons behind this that i’ll go on to talk about below the cut, but at the end of the day an author’s issues with oneself like... should be addressed via other means and not worked out through a medium like this, it leads to a reading that, as unintentional as it may be, is still present and we’re sorry about that.

“and kind of contributes to a narrative of mentally ill people who’ve messed up/hurt people multiple times due to their illness/don’t automatically become better people when their negative actions are pointed out, especially when the character is shown to be in a neglectful home/recieving no treatment/is 16 (which is when a lot of us can start developing our more severe symptoms/cluster b pds really start showing up), are like. irredeemable/shitty people/don’t deserve sympathy. especially b/c a lot of cluster bs end up doing shitty things/hurting others without meaning to before we’re able to recognize what we’re dealing with, idk it’s just… hurtful for the narrative seen in media to be that we can never change and become better, even if we’re shown to want to (which blanche does at multiple points- i could go more into this/different points where he’s shown to regret what he did, want to change etc but i don’t want to make this even longer than it is hh)

and of course this doesn’t mean everyone had to make nice with him or that he’s perfect or even necessarily a good person, the narratives that people Can change/heal and aren’t inherently irredeemable and bad and the fact that people hurt By those people don’t have to forgive them, associate with them, be nice to them etc don’t contradict each other (especially b/c the mods Do kill blanche physically and kind of just go. whoops, our mistake, oh well)

and i want to end this with: again i don’t think this was intentional, and i can’t speak for the mental health of any of the writers, but as a cluster b reading that, it really felt as though the message of dailyaes was that people who fuck up and hurt others who aren’t instantly sorry and doing everything to fix it don’t deserve sympathy/can’t change, even if they do eventually try to change, and it really hurt to reread it (and honestly reading it a few years ago when i was a lot less in recovery contributed to my own internalized ableism, looking back)

i’m so sorry again how long this is!! i really hope i explained this well enough hh”

thank you again for bringing this up, and there are like.. three/kind of four key points that i’d like to explain here because these are relevant to what wound up happening and it does like... it does suck, waht wound up happening, and i’m sorry that that was the ending, i hope this can like... assuage some of that and assure that that isn’t the ending people who struggle with those issues deserve

the first is that uh.. blanche was conceptualized as a... kind of self insert at a time when i was struggling a lot with what it meant to be a person and more importantly a good person. that reading of his character (mentally ill & neglected) came explicitly from things i was unsure and in denial of, and low empathy/struggling to recognize others as individuals were they not immediately tangible was a large part of that. as a result, thsi character who i cast as a sort of inverted self insert (ie. encompassing what i felt was bad about me at the time) took on a lot of aspects of what you called internalized ableism which is. a really good term for it. i’d come out of an environment where i felt as if i was not stretching myself thin to help others then i was not being a good person, and blanche turned into a sort of representation of that. this does not like, excuse what ended up happening to blanche, but i hope it comes of some comfort to learn this did not come from a place of external hatred rather than genuine issues with myself. they still should not have made their way into being that kind of a representation of a character with those issues, and i’m sorry for that.

the second ties into why one of the mods ended up being cast out of the group altogether, which was being a shitty person all around, one facet of which was like. a Lot of hatred towards blanche. it’s not my place to speculate or speak as to why, but it was definitely a big part of why they got as shitty an ending and treatment as they did -- efforts at suggesting or even joking that blanche was not like. a  Bad Person were met with immediate shutting down and vitriol. that behavior wound up being part of why we cut ties with them, but it still worked its way into the final form that dA took, and for that i’m sorry. as much as it sucked we still became complicit in that, and we should not have been; we apologize for that.

the last thing i’d like to say here, and i hope it will give some hope for the future, is that, if i’m being honest, blanche’s story is an incomplete one. the since deleted third part (due to how heavily it was tied with the mods we disassociated ourselves with) provided some minor resolution, but still an ending that felt unsatisfying and incomplete. another mod and i are also working on a true third installment with the aim of proving blanche is capable and worthy of love and happiness and with a true and satisfying conclusion for their character, because the truth was those things you picked up on of regret and desire to change were like... real. i wanted to and tried to write blanche with that note of someone who is capable of apologizing and changing for the better, and the next part that we’re working on now will hopefully really show that and provide a resolution that doesn’t feel so cruel and hopeless.

thank you again for sending this, it isn’t like. rude or out of the realm of possibility at all, they were a mentally ill character who was treated unkindly by the story we told and we’re sorry for that. i hope this can provide some bit of reassurance and hope for the future, and this was a really great chance to reflect on shortcomings in our work and take stock of the effect it had. i don’t know how much this will mean but like... being past that point of young and neglected and feeling beyond help, that isn’t like.. how it is. your symptoms don’t make you evil or undeserving of happiness, and we truly are sorry for winding up with that reading of the work. i hope the actual final installment of this story, should you choose to follow it (which, of course, you do not have to -- it’s understandable if the work as a whole is spoiled) will reflect that

Riverdale Liveblog 3x02 - Fortune and Men’s Eyes

I feel like I’m going to be in my Kevin feels this epiode. I mean, I am every episode but especially so when he’s tossed a storyline

This Frank Darabont aesthetic. Is Archie going to crawl through the shit and the mire and the tunnels in the end. I certainly hope so. 

Shadow County...I can’t. So that place is fine, but Greendale is where Satan and the witches party? This is some Greenland/Iceland shit. Also, Tom looking nice in that shirt

Tbh, Betty’s look of exhaustion is more in tune with how I thought they’d interpret “hippie, laid back Betty” on the show before remembering that it’s the CW and that female characters aren’t allowed to look less than dolled up

RIP DILTON DOILEY. MY SOCIOPATHIC PRINCE

I enjoy that investigate is basically code for foreplay. Also “I FOR INVESTIGATE” RAS. For fuck’s sake, it’s not that hard to come up with a word for I. Well, these two kooky kids will never not be horny since I guess murder gets them going. Dilton’s death provided for this scene

CAN MAD DOG BE THE LEAD CHARACTER. Cast him in everything. I need to see more of this actor

I know a lot of people want to rightfully punch Weatherbee in the face. But his buffoonish incompetence and outright bias sort of wraps into hilarity for me. I hope he’s a teacher in the flashback episode

Josie’s bra is way cuter. And uh, wasn’t Veronica Archie’s running mate? Wasn’t it her idea to run? So she is Lyndon B Johnson in this scenario. What a weirdly sexist revisioning

Slash, huh

LMao at Joaquin just throwing Archie under the bus. Actually, I’m into this. I need to know more about him anyways. Him being hardcore like this turns me on. That could just be my insatiable bloodlust talking

RIP CREEPY MORGUE MAN! May your son take up the noble mantle. I wonder what happened to the other actor since there doesn’t really seem to be a point. Can they just fork out the money to get Doug Jones though

Ben Button, eh. Okay, RAS. I need to meet the whole Button clan. And fics of Jughead and Ben working at the drive thru. A whole Ben spinoff

Kevin’s arms tho. That wrist gripping. MY POOR BB. Just getting handed those storylines of loneliness again. AND FOR WAHT? SOMEONE WHOSE LEGAL NAME IS MARAMADUKE??

Keller was a pretty shit sheriff, Minetta. You two probably would’ve gotten along. Or have constant dick measuring contests and arguments about who’s sugar daddy is better. But he was weirdly lenient about Betty investigating. 

What a disgraceful retcon of Riverdale Tie-in Issue No. 7 when Dilton tried to trap Jughead in his Doomsday bunker

Those shoes are so garish I doubt anyone would want to jack them. But then again, I’m not a shoe person

Archie’s been watching his anime I see. Sounding straight up like a shonen protagonist

The Gargoyle King is my lord and savior

“Are you ashamed of me?” MY FUCKING HEART. I need to finish my drawer fic so that I can give Kevin the nice things the writers deny him

If Joaquin tossed Veronica a shiv, she’d have used it on daddy

Remember when Archie and Veronica supported a for-profit prison? 

Oh fuck off, RAS. I can’t quite sum up with what bothers me about the treatment of Mad Dog’s character, but it basically falls in with my complaint about the overall treatment of black characters on this show

Reggie making fake IDs is in keeping with the tie-in though

KEVIN IS SO FUCKING CUTE IN THIS OUTFIT. But also this is a step backwards in his sleeve evolution. I actually got to see his fucking arms and now they’re covered back up. Moose doesn’t look too pleased. This is not going anywhere great. 

YESSS, parents council!! Set up that flashback episode!!! And omg, Keller got to talk. And I saw that little McKeller shoulder brush of reassurance

Soooo...I guess Ben’s appearance in Sabrina will be a pre-Riverdale thing? RIP sweet death prince

My local movie theater is screening one Steven Spielberg movie a week, in preparation for Ready Player One. Tonight was Back To The Future, so my mom and sister and I went. These are things I noticed about it for the first time:

At the beginning of the movie, during the clocks credit sequence, there is a clock with a paper figure of Doc Brown hanging from the clock tower.

Right before Original!1985 Biff leaves the McFly’s after haranguing George about car insurance/paperwork, he tells Marty to “say hi to your mom for me”. Yikes.

During dinner, Lorraine actually asks George what he was doing in the middle of the road that day her dad hit him with his car. George is all “what?Lorraine, huh?? I’ve never?? Waht?? idk?? *awkward laughter* hmm birb...washing”

John Mulaney is right. The writers of this movie had plenty of opportunities to explain the nature and/or origin of Doc Brown and Marty McFly’s relationship. They never do.

When Doc begins piloting the DeLorean towards himself and Marty, Marty starts to move away from Doc, and Doc Brown gives him this crazy look like, “have I?? ever?? steered us into trouble??”

“where are they?”/“no, it’s WHEN are they?”

the Peabody family IMMEDIATELY jumping to the conclusion that an alien landed in their barn is weird because cars existed in 1955, they have a truck that we see later next to their house. they’re being over the top so that we the audience know Marty is in The Past™ now.

“Stella, another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my car” the implication is that Lorraine’s dad has hit children with his car more than once. and his go-to solution is to call his wife for help.

Marty falls a lot in this movie. and just about always face-first?! is he alright?? I think he also hits his head a lot in the other two movies. Marty should definitely see a doctor after all of this.

I really like Lorraine’s parents. They are unexpectedly nice compared to parents as portrayed by most media set in the Fifties™ and Sixties™.

“Lorraine, if you ever have a kid like that, I'll disown you” what an oddly specific thing to say unless you’re an unaware character in a time travel movie.

I just now realize how much I love Crispin Glover’s performance as George McFly what a Mess™

Doc Brown GOING TO SCHOOL WITH MARTY to help make sure his parents get together is a little weird. They weren’t even on their way to something else; Doc Brown walked out of the house with Marty to the school just to stand around and do absolutely nothing. this is also the last time he accompanies Marty anywhere in town for the rest of the movie every other hijink Marty experiences in Hill Valley 1955 surrounding George/Lorraine love drama is without Doc.

“Look, there's a rhythmic ceremonial ritual coming up” just say school dance Doc you say other normal things why not school dance??

“I'm not that kind of girl”/“Well maybe you are and you just don't know it yet” Biff is actually terrifying?? and no one does anything ever to stop him?? the whole town needs an anti-bullying seminar yikes

“Silence Earthling. my name is Darth Vader. I'm an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan” this excellent scene was ruined for me by this post.

*Doc has made an excellent model of Main Street* omg don’t look it’s so bad it’s not even painted or drawn to full scale idek why I showed this to you it’s gross I’m so sorry. Marty: It’s good.

Lorraine explaining to Marty and Doc that she wants a man who can stand up and fight for what he wants and protects the woman he loves is such an interesting scene that I didn’t appreciate before.

the scene with Marty and George rehearsing what will go down in the school parking lot is so much more awkward than Marty’s first scene with 1950s Lorraine in bed, because in this scene Marty has to explain to his father that he’s going to make an unwelcome sexual advance on his mother so that his father can save his mother from him, their son.

some of the editing is weird: Marty is helping Doc set up equipment, Doc says he doesn’t want to have any knowledge of the future. We immediately cut to Marty at the same time of day at Lou’s Diner writing a letter to Doc?? Then we see them setting up equipment like Marty wasn’t just gone a second ago. Also this isn’t a flashback, Marty just changed clothes, helped Doc a bit, went to the diner to write, and then came back to finish time travel plans?? stuff like this wouldn’t be forgiven if it came out today.

Marvin Berry and the Starlighters beating up the bullies who called them slurs is my favorite thing in this whole movie.

“No, Biff, you leave her alone” I love an awkward fictional nerd

this isn’t a new thing I noticed but I Love Love Love George McFly punching Biff Tannen so much it’s my favorite thing in this whole movie it’s so satisfying and well-deserved 10/10

Marty: “ Oh, and if you guys ever have kids” they both look so awkward leave your cute nerd parents alone they’re fine go home Marty

Doc and Marty saying goodbye is a bit...weird. Maybe it’s just me but it feels as if Doc is kind of sad he wasn’t able to use the time machine first. I mean, he’s the one who spent his entire family fortune and 30+ years inventing it..and then his lazy teen friend (who we still don’t know why they hang out or how that started) just runs off with it. in an emergency, but still. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bit resentful.

the Improved!1985 McFly family is nice, a little cheesy but that’s alright. What’s not as alright is that George regularly hires Biff, a man who hates him, to wash/wax his family’s cars. Right there in their yard. You know, the guy who repeatedly groped Lorraine throughout high school, going so far as to sexually assault her at a dance once. That’s the guy George is comfortable letting hang around his vehicles, house, and family.

“Roads? Where we're going we don't need...roads" aw yes the future and this time all three of them are going together this going to be so good this is my favorite thing in the whole movie.

I’m actually worried now that Steven Spielberg shouldn't release Ready Player One, is there really any way he could top this movie?

In light of the drama of the past week, could you list some of the best things about the fandom and some of the people and have them pass it along so that we can all be a happy family again?

Here are fifty people that I love and one thing i love about them in alphabetical order OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT EVERYONE I LOVE but I didn’t want to do more than fifty XD I’m sorry this took a week i just needed time to sit down and take a breather lol

SO MOVING ONTO SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT THIS FANDOM: i love how resilient we are and how much we support each other, and there are so many great artists and thinkers in this fandom and so many people who inspire others and it’s just like… BEAUTIFUL??? Like I have no words

@3tinkgemini is so sweet and writes AWESOME ADVENTUROUS SMUT.

@accidental-rambler is super smart and nice and writes amazing fic and like SO INSPIRING??? i get so many ideas from her existence like RACECAR DRIVER MODEL AU HAS TAKEN OVER THE BACK OF MY THOUGHTS AND WON’T LEAVE

@arustykiss just like the most supportive amazing nice person??? MY WIFE MY LOVE STILL WAITING ON THE SEQUEL TO THE HAREM FIC IT’S BEEN 84 YEARSSSS also literally one of the reasons i kept writing in the beginning. ALSO MORE WTICH BLOWJOBS???? 

@katejgecko THE FLAILSSS?? LIKe the warm fuzzies are so REALL

@candycolamorgan the best starbucks writing partner to ever live basically

@captndevil SO NICE AND LOVELY and like THE WRITING like your smut is perfection and your characterization is On POinTTT like how

@cbk1000 I have learned way too much history through osmosis and also THE SASS and the appropriate smackdowns i appreciate jenn so much

@chica-cherry-lola *DIES FROM ELABORATE BEAUTIFUL INSPIRING HEADCANONS* THE BEST ENABLER EVER RIGHT HEREEEE also like the weasley brother obsession I HAVE FOUND MY HARRY POTTER SHIPPING SOULMATE TBH

@cupcakemolotov the best giver  of real talk on this side of the planet. also v impressive unimpressed faces

@delightfullysunny such a good listener??? and like so nice and sweet and HER REVIEWS NEVER FAIL TO LEAVE ME INSPIRED AND WANTING TO WRITE like !!!!

@dreamsarefleeting WROTE ME ONE OF MY FAV BIRTHDAY FICS OF ALL TIME like I have reread it over and over and OVER and is also just a genuinely amazing person I WILL TREASURE THE MEMORIES OF DIM SUM FOREVER

@fanfantasticworld  HOW dAREEE someone make such beautiful covers??? Like I AM IN AWE CONSTANTLY

@garglyswoof AMAZING WRITER LIKE I WILL TREASURE THE PAINTING FIC FOR ALL MY YEARS and also like one of the best betas i’ve ever had??? 

@goldcaught Master enabler, idea pitcher, and general ball of sunshine HOW ARE YOU A PERSON

@gooddame THE KLAROLINE FANFIC FAIRY who just like POPS IN with beautiful fic STILL WAITING ON MORE POKER AU I NEED IT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

@hellsbellschime SHE HAS THE SECOND AND THIRD BEST CATS IN THE WORLD (though we disagree on order of ranking) and also just champion human in general 

@honestgrins HER FICS GIVE ME LIFE like her AUAH is perfection and it gives me SO MANY FEELINGS SO MANYYYY the THEATER AU M OR GANNN I AM STILL DECEASED IN AFTERSHOCKS

@howeverlongs general gifset queen I AM ENVIOUS OF HER SORCERY

@hummingbirds-and-champagne Wrote literally my favorite KC fic of all time, writes BEAUTIFUL HARRY POTTER AUs, IS JUST GENERALLY AMAZING. I might still take you up on that roommate offer Elle like OUR ONLY SOLACE IN THIS TIME IS CANADA

@hurricanesandheartbreak how dare anyone be this nice and like also HER SASS IS JUST GENERALLY DAY BRIGHTENING

@itsnotacrimetoloveyou LLUIZAAA MY QUEEN OF FEARLESS SMUTTY ADVENTURES I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love your fics and you’re just so sweet and like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much

@jinxedwood BaTtLEE LinESSSS!!!

@joey-prue beautiful gifsets and so supportive ??? like LITERALLY ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLe

@justanotherfiveminutes A blessing to the world TBH like I AM STILL WRITING BECAUSE OF YOU SOPHIE AND IM NOT SORRY

@kirythestitchwitch HILARIOUS HUMAN and like her REVIEWS i am like genuine trash for them and look forward to them and whenever i get them in my box I SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT LIKE !!

@klarolinedrabbles A blessing to this fandom and fabulous writer and hilarious clapbacks and honestly just like the greatest ever?? ALSO WHERE IS THE WEREWOLF FIC *SLAMS TABLE* GIVE IT TO ME

@klarolineforevermine Literally reading her tags on OTHER PEOPLES THINGS just like make me want to write IMMEDIATELY and she gives excellent prompts and is just like the nicest???? ever?????????

@klarolinekolvina so so so so SO sweet and nice and supportive and ALWAYS has a kind word to say. ALSO THE HOCKEY FIC like ! i adored it!!!

@lalainajanes literally one of the funniest people i know. AMAZING writer. excellent life advice. Shares my dislike for The Kyles of the world

@lilbreck A++++ FANDOM MOM and FEARLESS SHIPPER OF RARE PAIRS and like supportive and sweet but STILL WILL SMACK YOU DOWN IF YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE love her so much

@littlebirdofthenorth My organizing buddy!! WEREWOLF FICCC Commiserates about the gift exchanges with my whining ass XD

@lynyrdwrites CROSSOVER QUEEN and light of my fusion life (unless she’s writing angst then BYE but  i say that with love and affection AND ALSO SOMEHOW I’M NOW WRITING PAIN SO I GUESS??? IT WORKED????)

@maevelin SOME OF THE BEST METAS and great cover maker and HER WRITING IS AMAZINGGGG like no one does klaus like her tbh

@makemeamilkshake​ FELLOW JEREMY/TYLER TRASH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE MUST WORK TOGETHER TO BRING MORE OF IT INTO THE WORLD YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE

@megansarah11 My little!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO SMUSH HER CUTIE PIE NICENESSS IN A HUG WHENEVER WE TALK

@misssophiachase IF YOU WANT FIC TO CHEER YOU UP HERE IT IS!!! the fluff is AMAZING and it always gives me warm fuzzies and just MAKES MY DAY BRIGHTER

@mon-amour-eternel FELLOW LOVER OF ORIGINAL!KC HOW DID WE NOT MEET EARLIER like my NEW FAV tbh I’m such trash and I have DEVOURED everything she has written

@seriouslyinlove GIFSET MAGICIAN??????? I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS BECAUSE I’M TOO  BUSY BEING IN AWE

@paigemarie007 she’s so nice and her asks brighten my day and never fail to make me happy!! also gives great prompts!!

@princess-of-the-worlds SUCH CREATIVE IDEAS AND ENDLESS KINDNESS HOW DOES ONE DO IT and like, such a good writer??? LIKE YOU ARE TINY HOW DO YOU DO IT

@purestheartslove HER AESTHETICS GIVE ME SUCH JOY like I remember looking at the one she made for travelers and like nearly bursting into tears I WAS SO OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION

@she-walked-away FUNNY SWEET HUMAN WHO WRITES AMAZING SMUT AND THE MOST ADORABLE FLUFFY AUAH HER CAROLINE IS ON POINT AND I DEVOUR EVERYTHING SHE WRITES BECAUSE IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL also kaitlyn MORE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET i gave you extra credit its’ the least you can do right??? right!

@that-wandering-belle So sweet and shy and like I have SO MANY FEELINGS i miss Anything Can Happen with all of my heart and soul and love the Arrangement and LOOK WAHT SHE WROTE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY IT’S SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND DELICIOUSLY SMUTTY

@these-dreams-go-on KLAROLINE AND KALIJAH SOULMATE!! We share a love for Katherine Pierce that CAN NEVER BE RIVALED! I CRY AT NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE ANGST AND THEN MY HEART SOARS WHEN IT IS RESOLVED HER STORIES WRECK ME

@supremeuppityone Has scandalously saucy smut ;) Every time i have tlaked to her she’s just been so nice and welcoming and supportive BUY HER BOOK

@wanderlust-in-nyc the sass is real with this one!! I love all her one shots and her beautiful interpretations of KC! She has such a unique writing style that really captures emotion and i love it SO MUCHHH

@xxafterthestormxx one of my FAVORITE AUAH writers and just a fabulous friend!!! ALSO I SWEAR I WILL GET THAT OLIMIONE FIC DONE AT SOME POINT BUT I’M JUST GLAD SOMEONE IS IN THE TRASH BIN WITH ME

sends u my reno url :3c

Opinion on;

Character in general:   reno... reno, reno reno....... i have such a . love/hate with character exploration @ him. i just. he’s cute, he’s hot, he’s like. the kinda guy i dig have u seen hiS FACE UGH FUCK HMMMM. but. if you look into him, who he is, who he is, waht he’s been shaped by and how it’s affected him, it’s... a fucken tragedy. like everything in fuckin crisis core/ffvii. s o i just. focus on the hot instead. Bll sad turks under tseng have nowhere to go i am sad.

How they play them:     yeah, the only reno who uh. in my experience - and i’ve not seen all, but still lmao i was arnd for a while - is actually.... any good...... you do dig into him the way i veer away from, and we both do that hardcore. you’ve got him down to a t - you’re really one of those writers who truly know what it means to know and write your character, who understands them on a soul level and it fucking shows, and i appreciate that so much.also, your reno can and will actually keep up with. gestures at my genesis. like. most ppl ...... give up. but reno is interesting enough to treat with a modicum of equality and respect ( moreso than gen would like to admit - ‘’’modicum’’’ ), and it makes for an actual relationship between muses.which is interesting for me. XDyou’re the only reno i bother getting in depth with / have bothered doing so with. and u’ve p much spoiled me for other renos XD. we dig into shit p much in tune but just a little off each other’s track, and that means we have interesting perspectives to share.eh, writing w/ u is a treat. BUT SOUL CRUSHING. SOUL CRUSHING !!!

The Mun:   my best friend, what can i say. jake’s friendship has gotten me through ... p much hell lmao. the hardest parts of my life, and he was there w/ me. i can’t express how much that... contests my expectations . i was gonna say ‘how much that means to me’ but must avoid... sappiness..s..s.s.i didn’t think or intend or want to rely on anything ever again, and i shall comfortably keep doing that - but, also, .. the idea that i can rely on you, at least for now, is. well, you’re my family now, let’s put it that way. pinkielinks.

Do I:

RP with them:     lmao yes. i mean currently not actively, but it’s one of those things where the muses are always connected, swathed in the fucking layers of story we’ve created. so. gen’s muse is sort of always in touch w/ reno XDDD.

Want to RP with them:    of course, except i’m avoiding angst and my feelings like the plague ( esp ffvii for some reason?? who knows ), both of which i tend to delve into deep with a worthy partner. so yeah. currently. nyooms not so much.

What is my;

Overall Opinion:   ...i was gonna express the intent to break every bone in smn’s body and make them live through it --- but suffice it to say that i will commit several crimes, though not without prioritising my own well-being ( which. i won’t fail to do for anyone anymore ITS JUST A STIPULATION BC I’M BEING THOROUGHLY HONEST NOW ANYWAY ). as long as you have my back, i intend to have yours.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

@fanghowled || accepting.

The Color of Friendship Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27): A World of People

Happy Black History Month! Another day, another comission from longtime supporter of the blog Weird Kev and like a good chunk of his-non duck asks, he asked me for something outside my usual wheelhouse. In the past this has meant an episode of the short lived fox show whoops in which we found out how Santa dealt with the end of the world, didn’t know how doors worked, and interacted with some characters so thin you could remake the episode with just Mick Foley in a santa suit and carboard cutouts playing the characters lines and it’d be about the same, and earlier this month Sorry Wrong Meeting, an episode of a sitcom i’d never seen an episode of the Jeffersons about the KKK. So unsuprisingly his big comission for Black History Month was the 2000 Disney Channel Original Movie, The Color of Friendship. 

I couldn’t find much on the making of the film, which dosen’t entirely suprise me as at the time this came out, Disney was releasing around 10 a year and whlie that stopped shortly, it still was a whopping 6 a year for some time, ocasionally more ocasionaly less, slowly dwindling down to the two of year we have now. Though it’s still an ongoing concern and has been since the channel started in 83, closing in on 40 years ago, so it’s still impressive Disney hasn’t just outright phased them out. Then again the popular ones make them a lot of money and some like High School Musical and the Descendants Trilogies have broken out so big they’ve lead to spinoff books, tv series in the latter’s case, and all that stuff making them money hand over fist. So making some cheap movies that MIGHT end up making them rich and usually star people that are already on shows they have or were at one point is a no loose proposition, especially now they add an extra release to the Disney Plus callender twice a year. And while the library has it’s gaps and i’ve griped about them enough.. I will say it’s stil la damn good library and it’s nice to be able to watch a film like this, as the dvd was LONG out of print and likely horribly expensive, and while renting it was an option, it would’ve chipped into what I got commissioned for the film. Still would’ve done it it just would’ve sucked to loose money on the deal, if only two bucks, for something I had no control over. Still would do that over adding it onto the comission fee. Point is stuff that’s not been easy to get for some time is now just a few clicks or taps of the remote away, and having the VAST majority of disney’s long and storied history from theatrical to dcom to weird tv oddities like.. this thing

I don’t know what Fuzzbucket is, and frankly I don’t want to know.. I mean I will for a comission or something but i’m not going to go out of my way to find out what that thing is and if it can give me scabies through a telvision screen despite being fictional and proabably long dead. At least I tell myself it’s long dead so ic an sleep at night without worrying about that thing breaking into my house and watchnig me while I sleep changing “SOON JACOB, SOON”. So yeah while you’ll hear me complain about the gaps in DIsney Plus’ library a lot on this blog. 

I will give credit where it’s due, and what is on there is pretty expansive and now includes the Muppet Show, which I give them full credit for as that probably took a LOT of work and money to make happen. Plus WandaVision is fucking fantastic, especially now i’m finally all caught up. 

But while as I said I couldn’t find much on the making of the film I did find a bit on it’s inspiration: It was inspried by a short story wrtten by Piper Dellums, a writer, poet and activist, and daughter of Ron Dellums. Dellums is a notable congressman who fought against apartheid and constantly fought for a bill to divest from South Africa, something that SHOCKINGLY, Ronald Regan tried to veto because he was a racist disney anamatronic what did you expect, and all in all seemed pretty awesome. He sued Bush SR to try and prevent Desert Storm, in his earliest days in office had an exibit near his phsyical office of vietnam war crimes to try and hold them acountable and in general seems to be a fascenating, hardworking man who constantly and religiously fought for the people and against war. 

The story was a real life account of the Piper’s experince housing a South African Student, Marie, who the Delums Family expected to be black.. but turned out ot be white. During Apartheid, south africas racist as hell and horrifying goverment system of segregation that wasn’t abolished till the 90′s. As expected she was racist, but as a proudct of the horribly racist country she came from and much like with her fictional counterpart in this film, slowly grew to realize how fucked up her homeland was and by the time she went back, became an activist She and Piper were very close but her story ends tragically as eventually Piper stopped hearing from her after she was arrested and despite attempts to talk to her.. it was clear by the silence, and by the fact Piper visited South Africa post-aparthied to help and likely would’ve seen her.. that she was likely quitely killed by the state. But her story thankfully lives on, so join me under the cut to see how a 20 year old disney movie aired during black history month handles this difficult real life story, racisim and the 70′s. 

The Cast: Quick bit about the cast since I usually do this for first episodes of an animated show and wish i’d done so for my other film reviews so far. Though to keep things simple, i’m only doing the main four cast members, especailly since frankly outside of Mahree’s parents the rest are more supporting roles that don’t have a lot of screen time and in hte case of the south african embassy workers, are just there to be racist card board cutout villians.  Piper, who keeps her name from real life is played by Shadia Simmons, who eventually retired from acting to become a High School and Acting Teacher. During her career she was in a bunch of Disney Channel Original Movies, including the first two Zenon Movies, and was in a major role in a bunch of live action childrens shows: I Was A Sizth Grade Alien, Strange Days at Blake Holsely High, and Life with Derek, the only one of which i’ve seen and even then barely so I can’t comment on the rest of her work. Simmons does a decent job in the film, and does shine in the more dramtic scenes, not the best part of it but certainly not bad at all. 

Lindsay Haun plays Mahree, and had more of an acting career after this one, having a small recurring role on True Blood as Hadley, while also directing some smaller films. Haun is easily one of the two highlights of the movie and the best of the two main tween actresses by a mile. More on that in a bit. 

Next we have Carl Fucking Lumbly as Congressman Ron Dellums. Carl has had a long and storied career and the fucking is because of what I best know him from: Playing the Martian Manhunter Jon Jonzz on Justice League. And let me not undersell it: his version of Jon is waht made me LOVE the character, still do to this day, being the first time I encountered any version of Jon and the one I still love the most, a stoic man who tries to adapt to a world he feels he can never be a part of, adding shades to his stitled demeanour to show off his emtitons and in general being the heart and soul of what made this verison work and made me love the character with his performance. He’s done other stuff too including Cagney and Lacey, Doctor Sleepand what have you.. but he’ll always be Jonn to me and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Unsuprisingly he’s the other standout here. 

Finally we have Penny Johnson as Ron’s wife and Piper’s Mother Roscoe,  who played Captain Sisko’s love intrest on Deep Space 9 and was one of the leads on castle. Haven’t seen either of those but she does seem awesome and does a terrific job here. 

Moving on to the film itself.. it’s really fantastic. It has some awkwardness and goofy bollocks as you’d expect from a disney channel original movie in 2000, but it handles a really heavy subject, race relations, gracefully and clearly with the goal of educating an audience with a lot of white kids in it about race. So I can praise what it does right i’m going to be handling the parts that are a bit wobbly first so I can get to the good stuff

Awkwardness and Goofy Bollocks:

First the out and out criticism: The films TV Movie roots show in places, as this film lacks the polish these films would have later this decade, with the film barely having an opening title sequence and just sorta throwing you in, though to their credit it does open with the utterly awesome Back in Love Again, because 70′s. 

That slaps and that’s an undeniable fact. What’s also an undenaible fact is the film dosen’t try the hardest to be very 70′s in it’s sets and what not, though it does do it a little with the clothes and that not being the case with Mahree is intentional, as her family while wealthy is from another culture and one literally and metaphorically behind the times. 

I will also say Shadia Simmons is a decent actress, but is mildly weak in comparison to the other 3 in the leads, but its more the result of putting a pretty standard child sitcom actress up against two experinced actors who know what their doing and one whose about as experinced as her, but simply has a LOT to work with and goes above and beyond. It’s less that she’s bad and more that she’s simply not as good as what’s around her, and in general I tend to go easier on child actors since it’s not an easy job for a grown adult much less a teenager, it’s very pressurey and there’s a reason a LOT of them bottom out as they get older or retire all together. 

I will say though that Piper’s brothers are awful and I feel are only there because she actually had brothers. The actors try, i’m not pinning this on them but writing wise their just two little shits who contirbute ntohing of value to any scene their in, being generally way to young to get into the heavy topic at hand, and mostly being there for unfunny shneanigans. They aren’t in the film too much otherwise they might’ve ruined it for me, but if Shadia struggles a bit agianst sttronge perofrmances imagine who younger actors with the stage direction “Be the bane of my existence” and you’ll MAYBE see the problem. 

The film also loves cheesy time passing montages, including an actual factual shopping montage, easily the goofiest, but it’s something you’d expect from a dcom and helps lighten the mood. That’s a running theme outside the brothers there really isn’t anything too silly.. until the last act.  See in the last act, the film tackles the real life death of Steve Biko, a South African activist against apartheid who was captured by the state and very transparently murdered in jail. with the government claming he killed himself which no one bought because why would they, and it sparked riots worldwide and finally got the US to take Apartheid seriously according to the film. Though as I mentioned earlier Regan did not in case you thought the republican party being terrible and deeply racist was a brand new thing. It was not. Guys like Tucker Carlson and Former President Trump are a symptom, not the disease.. though they certainly look and feel like some form of plauge. Point is Mahree is breifly taken by the embassy.. whose staff who take her feel like the Disney Channel Original Movie form of Nazi’s. The heavy accents, the way they compose themselves... I half expect an elderly indiana jones to show up to whip the piss out of them. And dont’ get me wrong, the only diffrence between these pricks and a nazi is the fact they don’t call themselves nazis, this isn’t a nuanced horrifying racist to be scared of but a saturday morning cartoon version. 

While  white supremacists in real life can be cartoonishly evil, again see trump and carlson, it does kind of undercut the seriousness and nuance of things to have your villians be cold, cackling cutouts who are 5 seconds away from saying “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor take her away” to our heroine, especailly since Mahree’s reaction to being taken away and confusion at everything and at being treated like a prisoner by her own people are very painful and very well acted.   I do get showing them as monsters, because they were, but given Mahree’s father who as a south african police man was DEFINTELY ONE and even outside his racisim doubts and downtalks his own daughter, still feels like an actual person, if not a GOOD person, they could’ve done better and did in the same film. 

But that stuff aside.. I really can’t find much that’s honestly that silly or bad and as you can tell what little I did was more a product of being a tv movie. So now i’ve got the negatives out of the way

This Film Is Pretty Good: It truly is, for a lot of reasons. But the biggest is the nuance. It could’ve been easy to just have Maree as some racist kid needing to learn a lesson who was openly cruel and easy to jeer at.. but the film went iwth the reality: that she was instead an extremley privlaged and insulated girl who simply NEVER knew better. To her her very racist and segregated world is just the way the world worked for her and she dosen’t even consider when the Dellums come to pick her up minus Ron these aren’t servants and her own servant’s words fall on deaf ears, as the poor woman tries to make it clear how miserable her life is and how much she deseprately wants this child to do better. Marhee is never actively malicious even when, due to the shock of her all black host family, she baricades herself in Piper’s room. It’s obnoxious sure and CERTAINLY hurtful and the film makes no bones about it and Piper rightfully calls her out on it. The film dosen’t let her get away with any intetnional racisim like that and after Piper calls her out, she realizes she’s been selifsh and makes a genuine effort. And even then the film makes a good choice in not making it an easy road to realization. Mahree makes a genuine effort in the first place not because of any big revelation or anything, but because she simply hears her dad in her head telling her she’d give up after a week and that, coupled with Piper’s words, makes her see herself as a selfish brat. Even after she’s floored by a mall where black and white people stand side by side aand casually talks about horrors like ID Cards like i’ts a GOOD thing, because that’s what she’s been taught by her dad. That black people are happy being told where they can and can’t go when no they weren’t they simply had no chocie in the matter. And while we do see early on when an asshole at a restraunt assaults a waiter for an accident that Mahree clearly isn’t okay with the more horrifying side of things, she still dosen’t quite grasp WHY that happened, simply that it’s something that does reguarly she dosen’t like. It’s excellently, and unsuprisingly called back when they visit an ice cream place in the states and something similar happens.. but the guy takes it in stride, even ordering a sundae, to Maree’s confusion. 

It’s what makes the film work and all the more striking: As Roscoe makes clear to Ron, whose admant about nto having a racist in the house, this is not her fault. While the film makes it clear Mahree’s behavior at first was not okay and her prejudiece is not okay, it also makes it VERY clear she’s a product of a terrible system and terrible parenting from people who choose to benneift from the system instead of challenge it. She’s only like this because she hasn’t had a reason to ever think diffrent and just took her parents at face value and no mater the country, this is something that sadly happens far too often: Someone hating a group or thinking discrimination is okay because that’s how they were taught and that’s all they’ve known and the only way to change that is to challenge that opinon and try to get them to have some empathy and see the other way and as this film shows it’s a struggle.. and at the end of the day while the Dellums make a concentrated effort, Maree is the one who has to realize what her parents taught her is bad and her country is inherently flawed and NEEDS to change, just like ours did, and STILL badly needs to. 

And that’s where the nuance kicks in as the good congressman is understandable in not wanting a racist in his house... but his wife is equally right that Maree is not some easy symbol of his hatred towards south africa, but a girl who grew up knowing nothing more than the fucked up system, and eventually he comes around, realizing , especially after she apologizes for him even thinking she’d use a racial slur on piper after a very powerful conversation with the two and piper accidently saying she used the South African N Word, almost accidently getting her friend thrown out, that she simply hasn’t been outside her shell and gently guides her to keep reading roots, even letting her take it with her if she wants back home. The film shows the full pain of the situation  but also shows change is posisble. Again it’s not easy, Mahree has a panic attack waiting in an almost all black line in school and it’s shown to be as horrible a thought as it is., but she DOES change and it comes off as real, as someone realizing the system they grew up with is broken and needs to be fixed and she can’t just sit back and let it. 

What makes this happen, besides the aformentioned kidnapping by saturday morning cartoon racists, is Piper confronting her after a friend from south africa forces Piper to acccept that while her and Mahree are friends, Mahree might not seee her as equal and Piper in turn in a heated argument and easily Simmons best performance of the film, that things are broken and wrong and that her “firend”, her nanny/servant back home, is not happy. It leaves Mahree crying and Ron telling her the honest truth: Change was, and again still is but this was 2000 and while we should’ve had this talk disney channel wasn’t ready for it, needed to make things better here.. and tha’ts what south african’s doing> Fighting for equal rights at last. It’s some powerful, heavy as hell stuff you woudln’t expect from a line of movie that also include a robot house, before that was an actual thing, a merMAN dad MerMan, a boy slowly turning into a leprechaun, and at least two diffrent movies centering around wacky kidnappings. It’s a nuanced and hard look at race, as hard as late 90′s jsut turned into the 2000′s disney could get mind, aimed at kids and the film, whiel stilted really has my utter praise. It’s genuinely moving, well acted and teaches a valuable message that while not eveyrone can change.. it dosen’t hurt to try and help them, as well as the equal message that change start with YOU. someone has to WANT to be better and learn and actually let other people in to help them. And I wont’ lie and say this is the most naunced or subtle film.. at time’s it’s about as subtle as a ralph wiggum throught he window

But sometimes you don’t need to be. It also taught kids about apartheid, not me as I barely saw the film, but many learned of something ghoulsih that had barely ended at the time of the film’s release, something I only learned about as a teen via bloom county and a diffrent world, which has an utterly awesome apartheid episode “A World Alike”. Seriously check it out if you have prime, as it shows that america isn’t the only country with a deep history of ingraned racisim. And was it an easy way to have an anti racisim narriative without fully confronting america’s own racist history? Yup. Just.. yup. Can I blame Disney Channel for it when they clearly, while equipped to tackle racisim, weren’t ready to tackle something that dense or heavy, and while Proud Family later would there’s a diffrence between a 20 minute one off episode of a cartoon and 90 minutes of film? Yeah. For what it is and for what the time period is, I applaud this film taking on such a heavy topic with grace. Some goofyiness here and there yes and some lack of subtly.. but still grace. For what it is is, it’s pretty good and i hope to show it to my nieces one day soon. It has i’ts heart in the right place and thus has a place in my heart. See you next rainbow.