Hai :7

I love you!

yes you!

click this.

now for introduction.

my name is Renée Corbeau

but you can call me ren or crow

I love crows! they feel like family to me and I hope next cycle I get to experience the life of a crow.

I have gone through alot in life and fancy myself some sort of activist by proxy of that pain, am I perfect? fuck no! I am still learning and probably operate under toxic bias still despite all the effort I have put into growth.

I'm adhd, autistic, anxious, depressive, dissociative, probably some degree of plurality.

I'm a gender non-conforming transwoman, definitely puppy coded, and severely down bad for women, especially butch women!

that being said the human body is beautiful. especially fat bodies, I'm a sucker for meat :3

all my guys, gals, and non binary pals deserve kisses (assuming that they want them)

I love gender fuckery, people who actively blur those lines are doing the lords work.

despite being very friendly and appearing slightly outgoing sometimes, I am very shy and dont have a very large social battery.

if I ever dont respond dont take it personally there are loads of reasons why this could be.

U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U U⁠^ᴥ^⁠U

I am kind of a red mage when it comes to special interests, I know a little bit about alot.

(all lists are not ordered and not exhaustive)

some examples include;

from gaming~ pokemon, zelda, elderscrolls, darksouls, minecraft, osu!, space sims (elite dangerous, astroneer, dyson sphere project, hardspaceshipbreaker), roguelikes (noita, deadcells, gungeon, vagante, slaythespire)

from other media~ pokemon again, bluey, adventure time, atla, bee and puppycat, studio ghibli (nausicaa is goat), csm, bleach, dragonball, naruto, she-ra, dungeon meshi

from *gasps* real life~

space (and metaphysics), nature (it's peculiarities and the many funky adorable little guys born in it) I'm definitely a poser but skateboarding and rollerskating (I really want to get into rollerderby) philosophy (to the extent that any skid is);

History!

(not as well read as I would like because there is so much of it, and so much of the truth is buried under misinformation, but I have deconstructed the whole western myth of how things went and painted myself a much clearer picture as to how things got so bad and am learning new things about the world all the time, please feel free to info dump about anything history related I'd love to hear it. anthropology and archaeology too obvs)

Art!

(this is my chosen field for better or worse >⁠.⁠< I am going to college for web and graphic design (2024-2026) I might extend that an extra 2 years to make it a bachelor of design and hope to one day make graphic novels, beautifully illustrated with deep thought provoking stories)

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ ૮꒰՞⸝⸝- ༝ -⸝⸝꒱ა ໒꒰՞⸝⸝. ̫ .ܸ⸝⸝ ꒱ა

Kink! (definitely subject to change)

petplay, musk, intox, bondage, impact, cnc, degradation, somno, hypno, blood, knives, size difference probably more I haven't thought of

I'm poly and very t4t

I'm a switch but this hellsite has been steadily turning me into a bottom day by day heheh

but no actually

I used to be a hypersexual dom pre-transition

but E has made me alot less uncontrollably horny and far more sensitive and inclined to seek vulnerability, all my drive to dom has dissolved

also I suck at tagging and will sometimes will reblog art/random things from tags without checking bios

if that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable please see the block button for more info ;3c

.♡. .♡. .♡.

anyways since you made it this far

here have some headpats

spread kindness please and thank you ^v^

As above, So below.

Hai :7

I love you!

yes you!

Once again I'm here because I'm angry. There's been a lot of talk about Boston and what Jojo wanted or not to say about sluts and whatever. I, and other people I think, were struggling with the idea that Jojo would actually want that message out. So I went to see some interviews. And got kinda shocked about one thing that he said. (btw this is an actual quote.) He was talking about Boston reasons for his behaviour Jojo: Bad people don't need to have a backstory. They are just born sluts. A bad character doesn't need... (and then the interviewer says - he doesn't need tragedy to be bad) Exactly. And then he gets asked if he thinks Boston needs redemption and he emphatically says NO. And then talking about how much fun is writing the character he says this: Boston is such a fun character to write. yeah unpredictable he's like, he doesn't care. he doesn't have morals so we just like goes with the flow. bad people? no morals? humm... i don't know... So yeah, now I don't really know what to think about it. I was wondering what are your thoughts about this. I'm still gonna watch some more of this, because I'm a masochist that needs all the information, but yeah, I thought I would share. Thanks for the space

Yiiiiiikes. Okay, first let me preface this by saying that whenever I am reading/watching something that was either translated to English or spoken in English by a person with a different first language, I try not to get too hung up on specific word choice. By necessity we tend to go for the simplest possible words to convey meaning in those situations, and thus a lot of nuance gets stripped out.

That said, the sentiment is clear: Jojo saw Boston as a villain character without a moral code that he could deploy to cause chaos wherever he liked in the story. And he is definitely conflating his villainy with sexual promiscuity, which is the worst part of this quote and unfortunately aligns with the way that finale, and ultimately the themes of the show, were written. It definitely makes me side eye Jojo and as I’ve already said, I won’t be so inclined to trust him nearly as much next time.

Only Friends, however, has more than one writer, and I don’t think they all see it this way. If you think Boston is purely an irredeemable slut, you don’t write his breakup and reunion with Nick in the way that this show did. You don’t give depth to his situation with Atom. You don’t show his sincere emotion, his hurt, and his earnest desire to be with Nick while he can. With all the info we have now and in retrospect, it kind of feels like there was a bit of a tug-o-war going on with Boston’s story.

My understanding is that Den Panuwat, one of three writers on the show, is the one who adapted the novel version of the story, and there he changed Boston’s final arc significantly. Rather than Boston fucking Atom, he made his final conflict about his dad’s political career with Boston’s sexuality being used as a weapon against him. He wrote Boston and Nick ending on good terms. And he wrote a final chapter for Boston where he arrives in New York, finds a more accepting society and queer community who accept and understand him, and thrives.

I’m sure there were some non-artistic reasons why we couldn’t get this version of the story in the show (the politics story was likely vetoed for censorship reasons and they probably couldn’t afford to show us Boston in NY, for example), but the fact that Den wrote it signals that his perspective on Boston is not fully aligned with what Jojo said in that quote above. Perhaps we have him to thank for the empathetic portrayal and humanity we did see in Boston despite Jojo’s perspective on him. And Den has another show coming soon, so maybe we’ll see a clearer read of his own perspective on queer sexual politics without the GMMTV restrictions when we watch Playboyy.

Hello, friend! I just stepped into Hellsing this past weekend and through my scrolling for blogs to follow, I came across yours. I found you through your posts about your OC. Based on what I've already read from you, you seem like a highly thoughtful, kind and knowledgeable person, and I've got every intention of reading your stories and commenting on them!

If it pleases you, I'd like to ask you some questions about Hellsing and your relationship to it.

1. What first drew you to the series? And is it best to follow the manga, anime, or OVA in terms of interpreting the story?

2. If it was up to you, what would you change about the story?

3. What's your take on the overall dynamic between Alucard, Integra and Seras?

4. I see the story takes quite a few artistic liberties with the lore from Dracula by Bram Stoker. Why do you suppose Alucard tried to turn Mina? Do you suppose it was for similar reasons as those for why he turned Seras?

5. I've been doing my share of research into vampire lore as of late and have come to learn that the lore Bram Stoker borrowed from for and added to through his novel contains antisemitic undertones. As a Jewish individual and a fan of the Hellsing series, how do you navigate this? (Disclaimer: I am not Jewish, which is why I did not recognize this myself until recently.)

Thanks so much for your time and attention. Happy Holidays!

First of all, oh my gosh thank you so much for the kind words! This ask made my whole day - I hope you enjoy my works, I feel like you can physically see my sense of writing develop over time but I put a shitload of heart and soul into them so I hope it shows. <3 As for your questions, I'm going to get into some major spoilers, so reader be warned beneath the Read More.

I think the general aesthetic was what drew me to the series at first. The dark, edgy and mysterious elements blended with pulpy action hero shit and campy horror form a really unique beast in terms of art, storytelling, everything. I saw someone refer to Hellsing's approach as "aesthetic maximalism" and tbh that is everything I love about it - all this, plus the surprisingly heartfelt messages about war, trauma and being human kept me coming back for more. As for which version is best to follow, I personally lean towards the manga as the main reference point, but Hirano was plenty involved (to my knowledge) with Ultimate's development since it's the adaptation that's faithful to the manga. The Gonzo 2001 anime has some fun ideas and cool moments but it's basically fanfic, including some major changes to the characters from their original versions (Integra is outright cruel at times in 2001 and way more dogmatic, Alucard is more brooding and mysterious, and Seras has more to do and feels more mature but her personality got flattened). Oh, that and BDSM as a narrative device. Love that shit.

I would make a couple of changes, personally. First and foremost, I would make it a little clearer why Alucard decided to shoot Seras before then turning her. It's never explained if he did this out of selfish desire to have a companion, or if there's some other reason - from our perspective it seems like he really did just murder Seras to make her his pet. It seems totally plausible for him to have shot the vampire holding her hostage without hurting Seras. Right now, it basically looks like a glorified abduction. However, this kind of clashes with how their dynamic develops over time, and that's clearly not the kind of relationship that's meant to be portrayed between them, as they do have a certain sort of genuine affection for one another, but it isn't delved into as much as I would like. I think making it clear one way or another would dispel the uncertainty. I would also expand on Millennium's origins and personal motivations more, and at least make the references to their crimes against Jews more overt. Beyond that, there is little I would change.

BDSM polycule. No. Literally. I don't even mean this to say that they are canonically a throuple - that misses the mark. BDSM is often sexual, but it does not need to be (plenty of dynamics exist where a dominant and submissive engage in a power exchange without ever touching one another for mutual benefit). The characters call those who direct their actions 'Master' for a reason, and it's because Hellsing is rife with themes of dominance versus submission, and how the act of bending to someone else's will is not necessarily a bad, damning thing that makes you weak. Alucard knows he is not a moral person, so he gladly allows Integra to give him orders on who to kill, who to destroy, and so on. Seras is a fearful person who has long struggled to feel a sense of agency in her life, and lacked authority figures to guide her growth. Alucard and Integra both provide her that push - and it's scary, and it hurts, and she puts up a fight all the while because she's frightened and uncertain of herself. Everyone likes to act as though Alucard hated her for this, but that seriously misses the mark. Especially in the manga, Alucard is surprisingly patient with her refusal to grow, telling her to take her time as she adapts to being a vampire. But at no point do either parties let Seras forget - growth is not optional. Eventually, she will have to accept what she is. And she ends up finding solace, belonging, and fulfillment in her service to others in this way.

I doubt it was for these reasons. Personally, I think Alucard’s affiliation with and interest in Mina Harker is often overstated by the fandom - of Dracula the novel, and of Hellsing. I view what he did to Mina as a cruel, strategic crime of opportunity, a means of striking at the heart of the team of vampire hunters that were pursuing him. That, and a means of keeping an eye on them. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aaahh that's a spicy meatball. So first and foremost I think it is important to note that a great deal of tropes in literature from the Eurosphere have some level of antisemitism baked into them. As one of the oldest forms of bigotry, it's just a fact of life. If you're Jewish and engaging with media whatsoever, you run into it. It just happens. Now, having said that, I would say two things. One, Alucard is far tamer in appearance than Dracula is in the novel. No small beady eyes, no retracted hairline of messy-fluffy hair, and while he does have an aquiline nose, it isn't this grotesque-looking oversized Zeppelin of a thing as most antisemitic caricatures would portray. That, and his negative personality traits are more than of a general brute, rather than this small-minded, vindictive, greedy miser. Having said that, he does still use seduction as a weapon, he does drink blood (blood libel), and so on. That in mind, I think where I fall is that you cannot divorce the vampire from its origins as an antisemitic trope, but you can point to the elements of the trope that aren't necessarily anti-Jewish in nature as well as say that Alucard is departed enough from these roots to be largely divorced from them. Largely, keyword.The other part to this is that antisemites in Hellsing are consistently portrayed as the villains. Indeed, it is perhaps the only usage of the Nazi Vampire trope that I think does it justice. By having the bigots that would normally insist that Jews are blood-drinking monsters be the actual monstrous enemies who kill and plunder just because it's fun for them (and that they did this as humans long before they turned to boot), it gives the impression of commentary on how Jews are often scapegoated for the crimes of actual bad actors, in the same way that Jews get blamed for the economy being bad instead of the rich corporate oil barons who sit in their ivory tower ruining shit for everyone else. That, and general commentary on warfare. Warmongers gorging themselves on the blood of innocent people that their conflicts spill is a classic allegory of the vampire - hell, for that matter, think of how many Confederate vampires there are in fiction. It isn't a coincidence (and come on, we've all seen the thumbnail for that one YouTube video essay on this, LOL). Beyond this, I also want to draw attention to two things: Tubalcain Alhambra's name, and the Captain's death. First off, the fact that Hirano named the Brazilian collaborator with the Nazis after the Alhambra Decree, a watershed moment in European antisemitism which expelled, forcibly converted or murdered all of Iberia's Jews (Sephardim), boggles my mind and to this day I think it's the coolest fucking detail about Hellsing. It links the bad guys both with religious persecution and with violent antisemitism in an unmistakable way. That, and his name, Tubalcain, being named after the son of Cain. It's all very pointed.

Second, the fact that the Captain gives Seras the tools needed to kill him and it's a silver tooth? That Pip specifies comes from a death camp victim and makes it crystal clear for narrative purposes that it represents the crimes of the Nazis coming back to bite them? That's powerful, to me, IMO. It, too, links Millennium with their antisemitic crimes against humanity in a way that you really cannot make excuses for. I've spoken about this with fellow Jewish Hellsing fans, mind you, and my take is more charitable than most. If you want to be specific with it, the widely agreed-on way to properly discuss Nazism is to show point blank that their victims were primarily Jews, first and foremost - and in that, Hellsing falls short, as there isn't a single Jewish character in the series, named or otherwise (which is a gap I wanted to fill through my fanfiction). Having said that, I personally think that as far as depictions of Nazis in anime goes, it's one of the better ones out there - but it isn't perfect, and the style Hellsing is written in (it's basically opera, after all, Bertolt Brecht forgive me) kind of made that a forgone conclusion. Make of that what you will.

Thanks for the questions!!!

It has always been one story

The last days I have been making some analyses based on Rhett and Link’s latest video “We Dug a Medium-sized Hole”. My realisation of what I have been explaining there led me to a new surge of excitement when watching their content. I have talked before about how much I like Hazel but to be precise I never watched the TikTok videos, I had only listened to the two versions of the song, which is certainly the best song they have written and performed so far in their career in my opinion. So a few days ago, my YouTube feed actually suggested the Hazel videos to me and, as I have been in this new RandL surge, I thought “why not”. I thought it will be fun and creepy, and it was, but once again I wasn’t ready for the hammer of realisation that fell right on my forehead. You see, being freshly out of my We Dug a Hole analyses, I noticed a load of similarities between the two. But even more importantly, I noticed numerous similarities between Hazel and the Lost Causes of Bleak Creek. In fact, what I mean by “numerous similarities” is that they are all essentially the same story, and the only thing that changes are the settings, the side characters and other secondary elements. So if this is the case, Rhett and Link have been telling one story again and again for quite some time and, in their words, have been somewhat disappointed at the reaction they did (not) receive from the viewers (Hazel), their difficulty to promote their story in other media (Bleak Creek) and now their decision to not have expectations so that they won’t get disappointed again (Digging a hole). But let’s say a few words for each of these major projects.

We Dug a Medium-sized Hole

Let’s start from the last one, which is also the smallest and most superficial project. It is a humorous video with a prepared song and a predetermined concept which is supposedly unscripted. I analysed it in excruciating detail a few days ago so I will just give you links to my posts “They Dug A Hole” and “The ‘We Dug A Hole’ Discussion”, which I would recommend because they will help make this post much clearer as well. Anyway, to summarise, here’s what goes down: Rhett and Link agree to dig a medium sized hole without examining this agreement and intent thoroughly and carefully enough to see if they are on the same page fully. They slowly get the hang of this, Link becomes very invested and loses control entirely. Rhett panics and tries to help Link get back to his senses and establish control between them again. Yet, if you remember this part from the “They Dug A Hole” post,

well, it had intrigued me then but it actually proved to be unexpectedly significant for real! Despite Rhett being the one who tries to establish control in the hole-digging process, soon he is the one to fall back into it the hardest. True enough, the second time it’s Rhett we see running the excavator. There are no other characters in the video, except for the mole who supports them but is accidentally killed. Rhett and Link have revealed this is the first of a series of similar videos (and songs, perhaps).

The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek

If you haven’t read their novel yet, well this is simply the best thing they have made so far and I definitely recommend it. I have always found it curious how little tumblr fans speak of TLCOBC, especially since it is RAGING with innuendo and symbolism that is not even subtle. I will give the story in very broad terms, however there are going to be some strong spoilers here because I don’t have another way to prove my point. Be warned. Of course here we have a different setting and the main characters are preteens. The setting is a dark twist of Rhett and Link’s actual childhood. Their small town with its extremely puritan, conservative community. The book has many characters but once again there is only one more character that can be considered as “main”, Alicia Boykins, their female best friend with whom they are secretly both in love. Well scratch that off, there is also Janine who is important, she is clearly Stevie’s character. But anyway. Rhett and Link have implied in a Mythicon that Alicia is a symbolic character who represents “their ideal selves”, “who they wanted to be”. So in short Rex, Leif and Alicia is a trio of best friends who live in this small Christian town hiding a dark secret. Leif falls in love with Alicia first and more profoundly, Rex a little later. Alicia is kidnapped and sent unfairly to a notorious reformatory school. Rex and Leif agree to save her but the whole plan goes wrong and Leif falls in a trap, in a very dark, deep and hopeless place, where Alicia also is, where you lose memory and the sense of self. (Won’t spoil more.) Rex returns to his town in utter panic and frustration and creates a master plan to rescue Leif. After a lot of allegories and adventures, Rex dives in the dark deep place and saves Leif (in a very romantic way btw). Alicia is rescued too. They confront the evil guys who control the reformatory school. They resume their peaceful life in their town. The book ends in a cliffhanger where Alicia sees something while bicycling that is a major sign that the cult / curse / that thing that was going on there is not defeated. So here we have as common themes: Link losing control because of how invested he was (in Alicia), Rhett panicking and trying to save him and correct the situation, and another main character who is a mysterious symbolism. It’s a little hard to be certain of what Alicia exactly symbolises, just like it is the case with the mole. What we don’t see in TLCOBC is Rex being the one to fall in deep the second time, but I bet this is the intended plot for the second book.

Hazel Macon

I watched this video a few days ago for the first time. Hazel is a fantastic project Rhett and Link came up with but the platform they chose to execute it on originally (TikTok) literally executed its chances for success. I will explain this in more detail. Rhett and Link promoted Hazel to the unaware GMM viewers by saying they were pulling an all-nighter to compose a song with their fans through TikTok. So they overestimated how many would go to TikTok for that. However, for those fans who signed up for this, they had already prepared a short movie separated in short bits, being uploaded gradually, telling a very creepy story. Here’s the plot: Rhett and Link start their all-nighter in the Creative House by uploading videos on TikTok. In order to get some ideas for their new song, they randomly choose the album Yearning by Hazel Macon. Link is confused because he does not remember this album, although Rhett argues confidently it’s Link’s and he acquired it in GMM (true). They play it and it is a haunting song of a girl wandering lost in a forest (as also evident on the album cover), waiting for someone to play her song, so she can be set free. They both hear whispering in the song and they figure it is backmasking (messages recorded backwards) so Rhett plays the record backwards to decode the message, to Link’s discomfort. Rhett says the message is there for a reason and he mockingly parallels it to satanic subliminal messages. He hears “I just want out. Just open the door. It’s been so, so long. I feel so lost. “ (Needless to say, this is in the official song obviously too.) Meanwhile, dead birds (crows) fall on their doors and windows every time they try to get out of the house. As they listen to the secret messages of the song, the girl vanishes from the album cover and they hear her singing from the back of the house. Scared to death, they see her emerge from the middle room (👀) . They try to hide in the kitchen where Link attempts to say something final and heavy with meaning to Rhett in case they die, but Hazel appears behind him and touches him causing him to fall into shock. She vanishes. Rhett stops playing the record but Link is now in a dead-inside state, the video suggesting Hazel is now inside him. Rhett roams the house but there is no way out as birds fall on every door. In a moment that Link escapes Rhett’s notice, Hazel reappears, turns Link into Harlan Macon, a reserved southern dude coming straight from the 1900s, and leads him to the middle room. Rhett follows in panic but there is nothing there when he opens the door. The Yearning album cover has changed and now it’s both Hazel and Link on the cover and on the record singing. Rhett in despair realises that he will have to play the record again, open the portal, find Link and save him (again, like in TLCOBC, see the trope?). As Rhett walks towards the door listening to Link’s voice from somewhere deep, he says “I don’t know if he can come out. I don’t think I want to go in there but I think I am gonna have to go in there”. This time when he opens the door to the middle room, it is an opening to a forest during a very dense night. It has a claustrophobic feel. Long story short, Hazel attacks him and turns him to Hardy Macon. However, when Hardy meets Harlan (Link), Harlan is “way too deep”, in Rhett’s words, he doesn’t recognise Rhett and he has assumed a different personality. Hardy!Rhett orders Harlan!Link to follow him, he bumps Hazel with a fallen branch, finds the door of the middle room and saves them both. Rhett immediately stops the record and Link returns to his normal self but has no memory of any of this. The album now has only Hazel on it again. Rhett tries frantically to get rid of the “Yearning” album but the “Yearning” album proves to be indestructible. It does not break, it does not melt and when he tosses it in the yard, it comes back.

Then there is a hilarious joke which Link now films; that Rhett is locked in the toilet for way too long, and Link thinks Rhett has shitted himself (however I bet the implied joke is that he was trying to wank it out, as a last resort solution to deal with Yearning). Link then explains to the fans how he still doesn’t remember the Yearning album and hypothesises that Rhett must have brought it earlier to him and ruined their entire evening. Link concludes that if he plays the record backwards again, he will decipher the message and be done with it. Rhett screams from the toilet but it’s too late. Hazel reappears and turns him to Hardy again. When Hazel and Hardy appear to Link again, the camera drops from his hands. The album which had turned to have Hazel and Rhett on the cover and record once Link started playing it again, now morphs into having Rhett and Link together, implying that they now both are lost in those woods with no way out. An unknown hand turns the record to play the normal version, by the Macon Brothers.

Notes and conclusions:

* It is important to note that all of these projects have an either neutral or bad ending. The most neutral one is the digging a hole one, where they have succeeded in making a medium hole but there is also the unintended massive hole behind them, which they choose to ignore. TLCOBC has a fake happy or ominous ending, as the threatening sign appears just when everything seems to be working out well. Hazel is dark and ends in melancholic despair - Rhett and Link remain trapped in that ominous forest hiding in the middle room of their house. These are not happy stories even though all feature Rhett and Link’s light humour (the fork in Hazel came to mind, this joke gets me every time).

* Alicia and Hazel clearly stand for the same or a very similar symbolism. They likely are the personification of yearning, of confronting the truth openly, of being free, as Rhett said Alicia was an allegory for who they truly wanted to be. In two of the projects, they are trapped female entities, whose steps Link follows.

* All of the projects were meant to be part of a series. The book ended in a cliffhanger. Rhett and Link had revealed in their EB for Hazel that they had more scenarios prepared to execute in the same way. Alas, this podcast was filmed before Hazel aired and apparently they were very disheartened by Hazel’s failure. Imagine all that I described, it didn’t take more than 76,000 views in TikTok and most video bits only made like 11,000 views, which must have been a stab in the heart. Ironically, they later uploaded the whole thing on YouTube, and it now has half a million. I mean it’s still not as much as expected for this type of production, but it’s better than the 70,000. In any case the moment was lost then. Now they return with the hole digging which they announced it is the first in a series of similar videos coming. They emphasised how they were determined to ignore the views this time, and even though they did not mention Hazel, I believe the concept is connected directly to the concept of the Hazel video series, postponed for two years after their disappointment. The videos tell the same story, accompanied by a song, but in totally opposite styles.

* Settings, secondary elements and characters vary - the main plot remains the same always in at least 2/3 of the projects at any moment. For whatever reason each time, Rhett and Link decide to do something that unexpectedly makes them vulnerable to a truth they either had not realised or hid well within themselves. Link is seduced or trapped by this truth and falls deeper and deeper, there is always this trope of him falling in deep, either because he wants to or because he has no choice. Link reaches a desperate, helpless state and Rhett realises that he will have to help him out of the situation. Rhett is always very scared and very panicked but in every version he is determined to bring back Link or bring him back to his senses or save him. Rhett struggles and he gets into this dark zone or loses himself in this seductive trap momentarily in order to get Link back. However, he succeeds. They are both back to normal, figuring things out properly. The success is short-lived as Rhett eventually realises he is in fact trapped in way too deep as well, that he is trying to fight something he cannot defeat. The moment he realises this, Link relapses again soon too. This of course is given in a very cheerful, carefree way in the digging video while the plot in the book doesn’t reach the moment of Rhett’s defeat yet.

* The traps in all projects share some common characteristics: the bright sun doesn’t make it clear at first but a hole in the desert is still a hole in the desert. The bigger and deeper it is, the harder it gets to escape it and beneath it there is just darkness and dirt. The forest in Hazel is accessed through a portal to the Creative House’s middle room, it is dark, dense, quiet and claustrophobic. The trap in the Lost Causes is the most mystical, underwater and deep and with other dangers looming as well. Another common element in the last two is the memory loss and losing the sense of self or consciousness.

* Does religion have anything to do with all this? Yes, lots. Is religion the only thing that has to do with all this? No…

* On a lighter note, the Hazel song slaps! It is so good that it is haunting even when played backwards!

* On a heavier note, I was already convinced Rhett and Link are hiding a message in all these projects. I am still not sure however, whether they want this message to be decoded by people or they just make it in order to vent, to get the sensation they escape for a bit the walls of the room, the house, the trap. Hazel is perhaps the boldest of the projects (although the innuendos in TLCOBC are the most glaring) as a main plot because Rhett himself in the video brings awareness into the fact that their song has a hidden, forbidden message that subtextually yearns to be heard.

PS. Just to lighten the mood

One thing about getting older that I've found for myself, which I think really, directly contradicts cultural narratives is that it's actually *easier* to find the wonder in things. Not just now but in the past, too. Other people's wonder.

When I was a teenager in the late 90s and early 2000s the internet was coming of age with me. It was something anyone could have access to, but relatively few did for various reasons. Plenty of people had absolutely no experience with it in the early 2000s even, but to me it was just...like yeah it's cool but it's just a thing you have no. Chat rooms were no big deal, but when my grandfather learned about it, his mind was blown.

Now there are people who are going to graduate high school soon that have never lived in a world without a smart phone (hell, some high achievers HAVE graduated already). That's mindboggling to me, this thing which used to not exist at all as a kid and became something everyone knew about but most never used as a teen is now not only something everyone has at all times, but it isn't even something they have to sit in front of a PC or a laptop for, it's just there.

To a lot of people reading this, that's just a "Well, yeah" sort of statement. Neutral. I'm just a geezer, and I totally am but it's still crazy to me sometimes. High resolution video on demand of a shared experience is wild to me because I remember pre-YouTube when internet videos were 30 seconds long and took hours to download and it was rare because of the bandwidth and space costs. A few people had webcams and they were all janky as shit but it was still amazing. Now (for better or worse) it's just the default communication on this pocket sized device. Video calls are how many of us work.

When I think about how nuts that is for me, it suddenly becomes a lot clearer how my grandfather felt. It was the most amazing thing in the world that I was just talking to a guy from Australia in the moment, in real time, and not even for a long distance/international call price. I was totally jaded in the moment, but to him, a man who had traveled across the seas in a freaking world war and experienced life when radios were novel for a lot of people this would be the pinnacle of human achievement in communication.

Not only do I see my own wonder more clearly now, but I see his. I see a long continuity of "holy shit man, that's wild" from people in the past. Once you're old enough to see technology truly change in your lifetime, you have so much more understanding of what those changes must have been like for someone else. My smart phone is my grandfather's chat room is my great great grandfather's telephone is my great great great great grandfather's, I don't know, cotton gin?

But in no way has being older dulled my wonder at the world. It's only sharpened it.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is a cynical lying bastard.

17, 23, 40, 54, 77 (any fic!)

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

If it’s a particular scene or section that I know needs to be written then I just try to power through, and I normally get there in the end. If I feel like something’s missing but I don’t know what, then I just try to do something else - go for a walk, listen to some music, rant to friends about it until I go ‘actually, I’ve worked it out now, thanks!’ And if a fic’s really not working or I feel like I’ve stared at it for too long, then I take a break for a few days or weeks. It’s amazing how much clearer you can see things when you come back to it.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

1. If you’re just starting out, learn the basics of storytelling, like past/present tense, POV, genre conventions, story structure etc. A lot of this you probably know instinctively but just haven’t thought about. There’s a lot of great blogs and podcasts out there that would help with this.

2. Don’t compare yourself too much to others, and focus on what your strengths are. Not everyone can write an in-depth character study full of elaborate prose and vivid metaphors, but luckily not everyone wants to read that. If you want to write a super fluffy dialogue-heavy, first person, present tense fic - do it!

3. It’s a cliché but one for a reason - just write. I wrote my first J/P fic in March last year, and 20 fics and 350k words later I’m still not great but I’m so much better than I was. Like most things (unfortunately!), it gets better with practice

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

All of them! I’m a very visual person (when I write it’s like I’m watching a movie in my head) so my dream would be an entire an entire graphic novel 🤣

But given that I’m still stuck in Life of Riley world, something involving John and Paul and Dolly Carton (the Mercedes) would be lovely. And maybe the sofa scene (complete with Mimi’s best tea towels!) from Tres bien ensemble. Oh! And John’s recreation of Paris from That picture on the wall!

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

I’ve kind of answered this with a similar question, but I love that early part of a fic where inspiration strikes and I can’t stop thinking about it, or can’t write fast enough. Also, I don’t know what other fandoms are like, but we have such lovely commenters, and I love hearing that people have actually enjoyed my stories and characters (especially because I’ve normally lived with them for weeks by that point). But I still get super anxious and insecure every time I post anything!

77 (any fic!). Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

I loved writing the post-kiss coffee shop scene from Life of Riley, because it was a late addition and that chapter was plodding along a bit before that. Plus I just enjoyed making Stu a bit more of a dick (was he wrong though?)

And I’m very fond of the end of Father & Son, when John looks out of the window to see Paul looking up at him, and then Paul charges up the stairs.

Ooh, sorry that got long. But thank you! Those were good questions.

Get to know your fic writer

Do you have specific reasons for choosing which tense and pov (1st/3rd person) to use when you write or do you just stick to what you're comfortable with?

oh!! very fun question!! so when writing I pretty much always default to past tense with a limited third person pov. (when roxy and I started writing 17 hours together I realized there was an issue because roxy only writes in present tense while I only write in past, so I decided to just make it easier on us and wrote in present tense for that fic. I didn't mind it, but it did not make me want to switch to writing present tense for anything else)

regarding pov, this is a mix of the influence writing fanfic for so long has had on me, and also just me liking it better. with fanfic, you almost always see people writing in 3rd person pov. I don't know why this is, but almost everyone I've spoken to who reads fanfic agrees they prefer reading 3rd person compared to 1st person. I think because it serves to remind us that we're reading fanfic and not about an oc? even if your writing is extremely in character, I think writing a fic in first person just makes it feel more like an oc because we're already familiar with this character from an outside 3rd person perspective. I hope that makes sense? admittedly, I don't know how this would work for fanfic about book characters in novels written in 1st person pov. I wonder what pov those fanfics are written in hm..

anyway, besides the point, I've been writing fanfic since I was 15. I already preferred 3rd person over 1st person before I began writing fic (bc I was writing original stories for years before I dove into fanfic) but I had tried out both. but then fanfic just got me even more used to writing in 3rd person. along with that, I like having just a bit of distance between the reader and the character. with 3rd person limited you still get a very close look inside their head, but there's just the slightest bit of objective distance that gives the reader an even clearer view into the characters mind than the character themself has. it's a subtle difference, but it's one I enjoy very much

now for tense!

there's really only one reason I prefer using past over present and it's because it's just easier for me. if you're writing a character flashing back to a memory in present tense, you have to then switch to past tense to talk about the memory before bringing it back to the present. if you're writing everything in past tense, you don't have to do that. it's not like it's difficult to make that switch when writing in present tense, but it's just one extra thing to think about that I don't have to even consider if I'm writing everything in past tense.

I personally don't feel like there's a difference in terms of closeness with the characters or pressure with what's going on depending on what tense you use. I know some authors feel like there is, but for me I just don't see it, so I don't really think one is better or worse than the other. I just go for the easier one.

ty for the question!!

So im maybe 4 chapters into In The Dark:

Writing style is... still hit or miss for me? Its good with giving information, necessary skill in a mystery novel whike keeping the pace quick. So im happy it doesnt dwell in information gathering scenes but instead explains some less important ones quickly and moves on to more interesting scenes. Its got good description when it does describe. Slightly pretty. Its translation is good.

But like... character descriptions wise? The more im reading, the more i get the sense the Characters Themselves have depth. But the character describing is a bit weak, relying on very common kinds of descriptions "beautiful person" and "smiled innocently" and "charming to women" and like... at first i worried the characters would Be shallow. Because these descriptions are quite general, and dont go in depth much regarding what sets a character Apart uniquely.

But the more im reading, for example, its clear Xie Lanshan has ptsd and is VERY much ignoring it and convincing himself he doesnt. Hes naturally extremely quiet and serious, BUT hes a good actor and leans into the act when distressed. Working for Mu Kun, and with his old gf whike he was undercover, he LEANS into his gruff boy act. He fucks up, and reveals his more serious nature occasionally when his morals are pushed HARD. When with the police now? Hes also putting on this charming friendly joking persona. While he does joke with his closer friends, from what i can guess based on him and captain Tao, it seems like the flirting and joking with others feels more like him putting on a mask to keep people at a distance. Xie Lanshan thinks: if i act the charming handsome joking man, theyll see me as friendly and NOT traumatized and NOT push me about how im doing. He might even have touches of real Gruff Dangerous man, and real charming jokey man (like when he jokes with Shen Liufei about "spare me big bro Im just a cute baby" when shen liufei drops him off using the motorcycle). So based on actions? Theres this sense xie lanshan was originally serious severe and Do Whats Right oriented, then put on acts to handle the sotuations he was stuck in, and now those acts Are slightly the real him.

But the book descriptions dont really touch on all the contradictions. It just describes him as severe and quiet and never smiling in his past one minute, then smiling and joking and flirting with all women the next minute, and it clashes and seems initially like perhaps weak writing. Like xie lanshan is just getting any random Protagonist in crime BL description thatll make him into what the author wants in that scene.

I havent decided yet if its weak character description writing that the author doesnt convey well that SOME of thus contradiction is an act or partly an act and Xie Lanshan doesnt know which. Or if later the author will make it clearer in hindsight, and was just trying to confuse us the same way Xie Lanshan is confused about who he Actually is. Ill have to read more to determine that.

What made me eventually ponder if Xie Lanshan is putting on acts and NOT just written described wildly differently depending on scene, is Shen Liufei. He also contradicts: aloof, cold, calm, cultured in his intro. Then wild pushy biker the next. But his contradictions the author DOES handle a bit better. In shen liufeis intro, hes calm and aloof but physically fights and fights WELL. Hes described initially as criminal profiler, but also immediately introduced as doing violently dark art about death. He has a stunning reputation that colleagues talk up before meeting him, but hes bizarre upon meeting. So for shen liufei, you immediately get primed to look for and expect contradictions.

Then he goes back from the motorcycle ride, calls a person outside the country, and says he Found Him. Presumably Xie Lanshan. I predict maybe Shen Liufei is connected to Mu Kun, or criminals looking for Xie Lanshan, or some other secret spy situation. He's described in a more clear way.

Hey! I saw not long ago that you said you don’t mind talking about your creative writing degree.

After my gap year(s) I think I might be interested in maybe doing creative writing at uni (possibly alongside english lit) but I’m not completely sure yet.

I was wondering if you’d be alright sharing your experience with your degree? Like, did you enjoy it, find it interesting, useful or otherwise worthwhile etc.? And, would you recommend doing a creative writing degree?

If you end up responding to this (do feel free to ignore this btw) thank you so much! Also, I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read of yours (admittedly I ought to check out more of your work).

I absolutely wouldn’t mind! And thank you!

Also, sorry in advance how long this is but I wanted to be fairly thorough. 

So, I definitely found it helpful. There’s just a clear difference in quality between my writing before taking the course and after, it is just significantly better, it’s clearer, it’s more concise and it’s just- it’s just better, it truly is, and I'm so much happier with it.

I have a much better understanding of the writing process now, of writing characters and arcs, of sentence length and when it vary it, and of how everything should be formatted (Times New Romance, size 12, double-spaced). My prose has significantly improved (though it’s still something I need to work on tbh), and I have a far better grasp on writing in close 3rd person- all things that I might not have learned, or might have taken significantly longer to learn if I haven’t taken the course. 

It also gave me a lot more confidence with my writing as, from my experience at least, a lot of the course involved group feedback sessions, and getting to see people like, laugh aloud at jokes I’d written and getting to hear their feedback and what they liked and what they thought of the characters just made me feel much more sure of myself as a writer. 

And even when there’s criticism, it’s (usually) very helpful and only serves to make your work better.

I enjoyed being encouraged to dabble in different genres too, in different writing styles, for different age ranges etc. I took a writing for young people module and legitimately, it turned out to be one of my favourite modules ever (helped by the fact that our tutor was just amazing, I loved him, he was fantastic), and I absolutely want to finish the story I started writing for that course and hopefully get it published someday. Even for modules where I wasn’t as taken with the writing style, like the short story module, was still fun and good writing practice.

It can also just be nice to be around other writers, getting to read and enjoy their work and just bond with people who love what you love. 

I have absolutely no regrets taking the course, I absolutely believe it improved my writing and I would thoroughly recommend it for aspiring writers. 

However, there were definitely some downsides. For one, it felt like (for modules focused on novel-length stories) there was a very strong focus on the beginning, but not much guidance on how to handle the middle and end of stories. We did definitely go over it, but it didn’t feel like it was in great depth and to this day, I still flounder when it comes to handling those parts of my stories. That might be different depending on what school/modules you take, but that was definitely something I felt was a bit lacking. 

It also didn’t feel like we really went into detail about how you even get your books published. That whole process is still a bit hazy in my mind (granted, it has been like 3 years since I graduated).

There’s also just the problem that how good and helpful your course can depend a lot on your teachers/classmates. I took three different scriptwriting modules over my 3 years, and two were taught by horrendous teachers. With the first, I think he did such a bad job that when it came to our assessment, I had to independently look at how to format a script because he didn’t even cover that. And if you’re stuck in feedback groups with people who aren’t very good at giving feedback, it can also suck.

(This isn’t relevant, I just want a chance to complain but once I was put in a group with a lady who was just like, very conservative and a very bad writer to boot, and would just not listen to any criticism whatsoever. It was a nightmare, you absolutely don’t wanna be that guy who can’t take a negative comment, no one will like you. Also, don’t be a Tory. That too. She once came up to my friend group outside of class and started talking to this one guy who was trans and I just got up and did not come back until she left asdfg. It was for the best.)

You could also, and this is a big maybe, come out of the whole experience kind of hating writing. For instance, the poetry classes that I chose/had to take legitimately made me hate poetry. It’s hard to explain why exactly, I think just looking into the technicalities of it just ruined my enjoyment of it. To this day, three years later, I still struggle to enjoy writing poetry, which is a shame because poetry is where this all started, where I realised that hey, maybe i’m not bad at this whole writing thing.  

 That’s not something I experienced with any other modules though, it was just poetry. 

Also, reading lists can be a bit of a pain if you don’t like the books assigned (and a bit expensive, especially if your uni discourages you from buying cheap on Amazon/eBay as mine did. I understand where they were coming from but like, asking students to drop like £10 + on multiple books is a bit much), and writing essays/reflections can be a bit of a drag (I’m not a fan of it, especially since we weren’t allowed to critique the books we were assigned to read? For some reason? We were only allowed to write about the positives, which annoyed me, I like complaining) but I mean, if you’re considering a joint course with English lit that’s something you’re used to.

I also still don’t fucking understand how to use a semi-colon. I mean, I do but I don’t, you get me?

I realise this seems a bit uneven, but it’s just because it is bit hard to fully explain just how helpful it was, considering it was a) about three years ago now, and b) a lot of what I learned was nitpicky stuff that is absolutely crucial for good writing, but is just kind of a bore to go over.

As I said, I don’t regret it one bit, it's probably the smartest and best decision I ever made, but sometimes it did just suck. But if you do it, you do get to brag about having a degree, so that's another plus.

I hope this was helpful!

Now that lita is officially over, time for an overall review, an honest one. See, I fucking fell in love with lita, specially the characters and the actors, but I have a LOT of points to make.

Starting with the criticism. The producion. Terrible. Fucking awful. So many scenes got ruined because of it. The sound and visual team were playing around I swear, volume of conversations being too low, you could hear the mics, background music too loud, transitions from one scene to another so bad you get pulled out of the story, clothes being visible during nc scenes, scenes not making any sense whatsoever, the cuts, everything... just bad. Also whoever directed their acting, not even the actors could save some scenes because of the awkward position they got put on set.

Also obviously the wife, black giant, and spanking thing. Seriously, mame? 

Talking about the characters now, I wasn't really into payurain because of all the "I'm dumb and cute" thing going on with rain, it made me uncomfortable, the couple became adorable after they got together, but both characters were a little forced to fit the powerful and smart top and the naive and dumb bottom narrative. But then prapaisky came...and I have to admit, I started this series because of them, I read their novel and their characters are so much more interesting, sky is very smart and witty (although they still made him act cute because he is younger annnd obviously because he is a bottom 🙄), prapai is super understanding and mature, the only mistake in his character in the series was how they portrayed that party scene, I feel like the one in the novel made more sense.

Going into prapaisky...there's so much to talk about them...it amazed me so much how prapai could read sky from day one and also respect him, he respected his time, his feelings and never for a second doubted him. The scene where he cries because sky can't became one of my all time favorites, and fortpeat did an amazing job portraying it, tho I still wish they showed sky crying real tears and not only sobs because it would make the difference between his previous cry scenes and this one clearer.

Now going full on compliments, and I will be commenting a lot more about fortpeat because yes they became my protected babies. Since the first time he appeared peat showed such good expressions, he brought sky to life and made him one of my favorite characters ever, when his arch started you could see clearly the change in sky's eyes, he is an actor who express so much through his eyes, the change in his gaze in prapaisky first meeting when he realized prapai wanted sex from him and then later on in the one where prapai says he wants a smile and he gets so surprised, I was STUNNED with his acting, sky is not an easy character at all, he is traumatized, he is mature and likes to pretend he is strong all the time, he helps everyone but never asks for help, he pretends to not care when he cares a lot, the way peat was able to portray the slight changes with subtle body signals, his posture, his smile, his eyes, small expressions...CHIEF KISS. Also fort...his crying scenes, his empathetic scenes, his I'm in love...so SO GOOD, the moment his arch began and he looked at sky with such curiosity and confidence I knew it was the end, he understood prapai so well and he acted while feeling it all, the scene where he comforts sky while you can see in his eyes his own heart is breaking. A FUCKING PERFORMANCE. He nailed all the whipped scenes and let's not talk about the nc ones, I am not prepared to talk about his body language during those, absolutely not. The way both had so much chemistry and the EYE CONTACT!!!!!!! The way they could communicate through their eyes so well, you could feel the love and trust, the fear, the sadness...I can't believe they are both new to this. 

Of course all four actors did well, but I needed to emphasize them. Anyway, the series wasn't perfect at all, but I'm gonna miss my weather gang a lot, hope to see the actors working together again (with a better production team pls).

At this point, I'm just used to your jokes now. Still doesn't mean that I cringe whenever I hear them /j

Indeed, I suppose I could become novice musicians along with Lippmann. Do you want to join us? It might even be cheap because of a two-in-one deal. I'll keep on learning the piano while you two can learn the violin. Maybe learn some musician pickup lines to impress Lippmann later on.

And for the Chopin? I thought about it again, but I think that it isn't considered sacrilegious. It still sounds nice afterall, and I'm pretty sure Chopin wouldn't mind. But I prefer the piano version as it sounds more clear.

Please don't give your jokes to Lippmann or anybody else. I can put up with it as I'm your brother, but other people will simply die of the cringiness of your corny jokes lmaoo /j. And afterwards I'll actually decapacitate myself because of the amount of terrible jokes I've had to hear. Pianoman don't you dare xD

An old couple, you say? Well, I don't know how to feel about that; we aren't even together. I convinced Silver to finally take a nap, but she just couldn't sleep. So in the end I had to literally hug her and stroke her hair to help her fall asleep... my heart has never pounded so quickly and loudly before.

Oh, my dear sister, how you make me laugh. I just wonder how you haven't thought up of such an easy reply, but I guess I am a genius. And do not worry, your secret is safe with me, because I definitely do not want to be strangled by those wires while being bombarded with your corny jokes.

Really? Is that what you know him for? Well, that Dazai definitely is cunning and mischievous. I'd have you know that he went head-to-head with Iceman, and Iceman even failed to assassinate him, so he isn't a 'poor guy'. And please don't try your jokes on him. He'd quite frankly punch you.

-🎹

P.S. At least you think so? Well, pray tell, what happens in those 'romance novels' that you read? And as for the date? I think it's still too early... however I think I know what Silver feels for me

ahh this is exactly why i love you <3 finee, i'll tone it down with the "cringy" jokes, at least in your presence.

see? i was right when i said you should change your name to "genius man." do you need to ask? i'm definitely down for it. finally, i'll get another chance. this time with the musician pickup lines. there's really no going back if i mess up again. i just hope i won't embarrass myself in either that or my violin learning process. thanks, genius man!

hm. by the way, do you think lippmann is "lippmann" because he has pretty-looking lips? /lmaoooo plss im cryinf asdfjkl anyway-

ooh, i'm glad it isn't some form of artistic sacrilege. i sometimes listen to orchestra performances, but you're right. having a single musical instrument-say, a piano- dedicated to a single piece will make the performance much clearer.

ha! bet! maybe i'll start saying it to someone i probably won't meet again. like the barista i buy my morning coffee from! or the newspaper guy, or the old lady walking her dog down the street-okay that may be a bit too cruel. i'll probably still say one or two things to the men you stationed near our house though. to alleviate their stress and tension for a bit./lmao the saga continues

you.. you what?? brother, you don't even hold me and stroke my hair to sleep when we were toddlers. i think i'm missing something. oooh boy, when's the wedding day? i can't wait to be an aunt. i wonder if it's gonna be a boy? or a girl? or twins! everyone should be invited. we'll have the grandest celebration ever.

aww this is why i love youu (2nd edition). seriously though. err, does this 'nakahara chuuya' has bright orange hair and uh, quite petite in stature? i bumped into him when i was on my way to see you, and he looked quite.. severe. my tongue just acted on its own, and that "axolotl joke" came out. he did give me a nasty sting eye, but i didn't get punched! i guess that's a good thing..? ahaha..

p.s. you know of her feelings?? excellent. this is all according to plan. i'm just a little worried a possible misunderstanding might breach you apart, though. you know, what if she thinks you're feeling attraction to someone else after you asked her about that "crush"? that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Review: Skavenslayer (Gotrek and Felix book 2) by William King

Gotrek and Felix are back! (Well, maybe mostly Felix). 

In the second book of the Gotrek and Felix saga (I'm not actually sure how many books there are), the dwarf-and-man duo find themselves in the bustling city of Nuln. Once again penniless and unable to find work, they take on a job as guards in Nuln's extensive sewer system, wandering the reeking tunnels in search of trouble. But they quickly find that far worse things than bandits lurk below the city, and it might take the last creature they would expect to thwart an invasion that only they seem to realize is coming. 

Skavenslayer is a bit of a midway point between the very episodic structure of Trollslayer (where each chapter was more-or-less its own story) and a standard novel format. Each chapter follows its own story arc, but every chapter takes place in the same location, uses many of the same characters, and they all build on each other in a much clearer way than in Trollslayer. While I initially thought that I'd enjoy a longer narrative, I think in the end the short story format worked better for King than this one did. We'll see if he finds his feet in the next book.

The best part about this story was the skaven, by far. Before reading this book, I'd never quite gotten what the appeal of them was, but I 100% understand now. The ratmen are all utterly insane and so self-absorbed that it's hilarious and disturbing in equal measure. The description of the plague priests will haunt me, I'm certain. Their narrative sections are full of zany-yet-awful shenanigans with such unsympathetic protagonists that you won't feel bad laughing when it inevitably blows up in their face. 

 Sadly, the sections of the book that actually focus on our heroes don't quite live up to the rest. Gotrek barely has anything to do in this story, rarely even getting dialogue outside of battles. Felix, meanwhile, gets a bit more development as his past comes back to haunt him, but he alone is not strong enough to carry the story. Moreover, the good guys' storylines wind up feeling very repetitive, with problems being solved in very similar ways each time. I think this was present in the last book as well, but there, much of the fun was in the mystery of what was going on. Here, we know from reading the skaven chapters what's going on, so we just have to wait while it plays out. 

 Overall, Skavenslayer was a decently entertaining read and I'll pick up the next one, but if the series doesn't improve, I'm not sticking around for book 4. 

Warnings: As alluded to above, there’s some graphic descriptions of vomit, illness, and poop. If you have an especially weak stomach, might want to sit this one out Rating: 3/5

For the MDZS ask game, I wanted to know what you thought of 3, 6 and 12

Thank you very much for the ask, anon!

3. What’s your favourite aspect of MDZS?

...For all I go on about the characters, I'd actually have to say the narrative structure. It's crafted so well, and echoes and enhances the themes of the novel perfectly, while paralleling and enhancing what's happening in both the present and the past. I'm working on a meta (wrong question, I know) on WWX and narrative agency, and there's so much there enhancing that! Such as the fact that we never get flashbacks about how he died, or about the Golden Core situation, because he doesn’t want to dwell on that and/or for people to know that, and the only time we really get flashbacks about things that happened to him by circumstance (fall of Lotus Pier, being thrown into the Burial Mounds, etc), it’s when he's explicitly dreaming of it in the present, unlike the other flashbacks which do have ties to the present but are allowed to get away with just happening without explicitly stating he's thinking about them, even though he probably is. Which are all ways the narrative itself shows us he defines who he is, and he chooses who he is -- he's not defined by what happens to him.

And that's not going into how the flashbacks are gradually seeded so as we learn to distrust the cultivation world and what they say and that theme becomes clearer we get to find out what actually happened, looking past those rumours literally and metaphorically (we're not buying into the cultivation world's rumours, so can now look past that to investigate what actually happened because we've learned not to be blinded by their prejudices), or into the extremely well-written tight plot, and so on and so on. It's just so impressive and I love to talk about it at every chance I get. Which you can very much see here...

6. Any controversial opinions?

From his perspective, Lan Xichen was right to trust Jin Guangyao.

All JGY has ever shown to him is his kinder 'side' (read: act, probably), and to him he saved him after his home was destroyed, he put himself at risk working as a spy for WRH, he ultimately killed him, and so on and so on. When reading MDZS for the first time I actually agreed with his stance that he needed more information to make a decision, that just as LWJ believes WWX is a good person and has the right to, he can believe JGY is a good person. I do believe his actions after WWX is revealed as WWX and is brought back to the Cloud Recesses are fair! He doesn’t act on his negative-probably feelings towards WWX, he doesn’t immediately dismiss him as lying about the person he put his trust into, he gives him a chance to be innocent and JGY one to be guilty, even though that completely messes with his worldview and maybe doesn’t entirely believe it. And yes, tries to take time to make an informed decision. As you should.

It's not Lan Xichen's fault Jin Guangyao is a good manipulator.

I have thoughts on Jiang Cheng (because that’s always controversial)

Since anything about Jiang Cheng ends up being controversial, I'll just make my thoughts on him clear -- no, he is not a good person, no he was not a good brother to WWX and didn't even see himself as one, no WWX was not at fault for what he blames him for.

The thing is... I don't like him as person, but he's very interesting as a character, and that makes him a character I sort of like? Though I have to be very clear, NOT as a person. But look at his role as a thematic foil for example! He’s one of the examples of an antagonist who is an antagonist because they hold onto their resentment and are consumed by it instead of letting it go, he foils LWJ in many ways too (looking at you, Rynne's 'love is an action word' meta which still lives all the time in my head). I do believe he loved WWX in some way at some point (though it should be obvious, I'm clarifying not romantically) but he didn't act on that, and when he did he regretted it -- so if anything all that makes him a worse person, not a better one! And because of that resentment he held onto, that feeling was consumed by hatred, too. It's quite interesting to me how he's yes a bad person, but is treated as a person by the narrative (love you narrative), and that's where all the controversy around him comes from I think. I love how he could have been a caricature (look at his first appearance, come on), but wasn't.

...And to clarify, all that is the accomplishment of the narrative, not of Jiang Cheng himself, and in a different book with different themes and characters he probably wouldn't be as interesting at all. But he’s very purposeful in MDZS, and is treated like a person, and I think that makes him a good character. So once again, thank you narrative and narrative structure of MDZS I absolutely adore you.

So I guess my controversial opinion on him is that he’s SO much better as an antagonist, which is controversial because a lot of the fandom... does not like to treat him as an antagonist.

Jiang Yanli is a good, well-written character who's not just the soup girl and isn't just for fridging

I'm actually working on something about this, so no spoilers there, sorry. If you want to see my thoughts though, see my character bingo ask about her.

Jiang Fengmian isn't evil or anything, he was a victim at Lotus Pier too.

Wei Wuxian is not morally grey even if he did do something wrong, because moral greyness is not about what you did! It's about your attitude to, you know, morality! And he's undoubtedly a moral person!

12. What metas are you currently working on? Are there any?

...I mean. I've sort of answered this already in these previous questions, but in addition to my narrative agency one and my JYL one, I'm also working on a third part to the 'WWX is not a self-sacrificial idiot' series. And you can have a small peek at it, since you're actually the first anon I've gotten:

I also want to do one about Xue Yang and accountability (as in how he shifts it), but I haven't started writing that one yet.

For the ask game -- #8, #26, #32 & #38

#8: If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I write dialogue-only ficlets sometimes to help me get into character's heads without distracting myself by trying to describe scenery/actions/etc. So clearly a story without action!

Right now, it would probably involve the Staryk King from Spinning Silver engaging in some solid clown-to-clown communication with Miryem, in which they blithely talk past each other while assuming the other person definitely knows exactly what is going on (So, the book, but a missing scene? haha).

#26: How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I can say with complete honesty that I had not read ahead to see what this question was when I answered the first one!

The dialogue-only ficlets also help me with quickly switching between character PoVs, as does writing out character meta. Other than that, I've never really thought of, "Getting out of a character's head," as something specific I do!

Do I ever regret going into their heads in the first place, though? ...define "regret"...

#32: What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Now this one I knew right away. As I'm sure you will be shocked to hear, it is a quote from Lord of the Rings :p

(Possibly more surprising, it is not the quote I've already shared on tumblr!)

It's Sam's line to Frodo, from the third book, when Sam is encouraging Frodo to keep up hope:

-

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

-

"How I found it" is probably obvious - while reading LotR the first time.

What it means to me: The definition of a narrative hero - the person who doesn't turn back, who keeps going, even when things seem at their most bleak and hopeless and cruel, because there is still good in their world even when they can't see it themselves, and it is worth fighting for even if they won't be the ones who get to enjoy it afterwards.

It's also just generally a very hopeful message. A new day will come, so long as there are people willing to keep going through the night to reach it.

#38: What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

All of it? Honestly, I have no idea what counts as Extra Weird vs. Normal Weird. I do have a tendency to pick out unusual things to focus on. Also, I convert all my writing to plain text and use html tags before copying it over to ao3, if it wasn't already in a plain text file to start, so that I can use html tags for formatting and not futz around with ao3's messy rich text formatter.

Daily Draw - 12/5/23 - Making Magic Oracle (Priestess Moon)

22 - Philosopher's Stone // 2 - Tree of Life // 9 - Love Charm

I've had this oracle for a while now but never really done much with it. But I had a nudge before I went to shrine tonight to pull it out because I had initially bought it to use in spellwork, and given the nature of some of the spells I have planned, maybe digging this deck out to help wouldn't be a bad idea.

I shuffled the deck and asked which symbols I should work into my spells/wanted to help me with my spells, and these are the ones I drew. I know what the love charm one is going to be used for, though it isn't a love charm. It's something else. It's more energy than the symbol.

I must dig into that deck some more because there's probably more I can draw on when I set the altars up. I might find some other supporting symbols whose energies I can tap into.

I also had a visit from the eucalyptus spirit from one of the trees out in the green strip out back. I wasn't expecting it, but it was nice to talk to them and get a better sense of how to work with them. They told me how to approach them to take leaves/bark/sticks away, what to leave as offerings, what name to call them. There were also magpies around, because magpies live in that tree and they come to visit us when they're raising their babies in the spring.

There was also another brief visit from the spirits of the sweet peppermint trees, also giving me a name, and how to approach them. They and the big eucalypt are in the same little space next to each other and the big tree seemed very protective of them. I'm going to go out tomorrow and see if I can find the items that I will need for my spellwork and work out how they want to be incorporated into the spells.

I have ordered some John the Conquerer root that should arrive next week, and once that's here, I'll start working with that spirit as well. Until then, I'll do some more reading and get to know the root and the spirit better so I can approach them properly.

Honestly, so much of my spellwork before now has been very impromptu. It's done with what I have and what I need and is done with very little faff. To be taking a slower approach, one with more careful consideration of ingredients and spirits and timing is novel, but one I'm enjoying. It keeps the intentions clearer and more focused in my head. It's a different way of doing things, but one I think I'll keep doing. Working on improving my spell-writing, working on improving my relationships with plant spirits, that kind of thing. And I like that I feel like I have the patience within me to approach spellwork this way too. I don't feel hurried. I'm enjoying having the time I need to research and think and plan before I do these things. I'm hoping this will lead to good results, as well as more things I can improve on next time I want to plan out some spellwork.

It is time for the TGCF impressions and theories masterpost

I've seen the donghua three times and, now that the official English novel translation is coming out, I figured it could be fun to write all this out before I get any further in the story

MARTIAL GODS

So Nan Feng and Fu Yao are those two martial gods in disguise. I know Fun Yao is Mu Qing but I forget Nan Feng's other name even though he didn't change it that much. They are my favorites; if you've ever heard me say Ling Wen is my favorite. If you've ever heard me say Hua Cheng is my favorite. No you didn't. These two are just angry and mean bastards and that's peak performance.

Prediction that Mu Qing is going to be ride-or-die with Xie Lian but something is going to drive the other dude away. Maybe he's a traitor, I feel like there has to be a betrayal of Xie Lian by someone at some point

Anyway it turns out Pei Jr has to be another favorite of mine, he seems just awful. He is just very calm and composed and probably would no hesitation kill and destroy at any given moment. He's on the verge. When he first shows up and talks to Xie Lian for a bit he's so distant and correct in his manners but if he suddenly decided to snap Xie Lian's spine over his knee like a stick I would not have been surprised. We know he committed massacre before he ascended which makes me wonder what.. the criteria for ascension are? But good for him. Hope you get to go insane again soon king

You can probably tell what my taste in fictional characters is

But despite what this section may have led you to believe, no, I am not going to talk about A-Zhao

XIE LIAN

Xie Lian has a lot of secrets and past selves and even present selves that haven't come to light. I'm not sure he's a Big Pretender but he is at least a little bit of a pretender. He's snarkier and cleverer and possibly more judgemental than he acts like he is. I'm like 99% sure of these things, I'm at least staking all my bets on them being true

Something seems to have caused him to develop a lot of shame -- the crown prince of Xianle and the Xie Lian we're presented with almost appear to be different characters entirely

Something went badly wrong at some point, and it seems to at least partially tie in with the fall of his kingdom. And like.. getting kicked out of heaven again in the length of time that it takes to burn an incense stick sounds funny the first time but the more I think about it the more I'm... sir, what did you do????? And then there's him telling San Lang Oh you know, sinners deserve to be punished 😔🙏 HELLO??????

He's also weirdly, occasionally down for violence?? My man is just okay with Hua Cheng committing mass murder. I don't know what is up with his moral compass or what is in his brain in general. Maybe his moral compass is murder is okay if I or my husband do it. I want to put him in a drop of water on a little slide and study him under a microscope

Related: to be demoted from a lieutenant you have to have done something to become lieutenant in the first place, which is something he seems to have deliberately left out of his little story when talking about his General Hua hours. Actually that story is full of pretty blatant holes. What are you hiding

I don't really know what to make of all this for now. Just a lot of conflicting characterization that I'm not yet sure how to reconcile. I'm very much looking forward to reading the novel and being in his head, because he seems like he's going to be FASCINATING, but in the donghua.. his character doesn't come across with much clarity. I'm assuming this is a problem in the translation from book to show

XIE LIAN'S PAST AND BAI WUXIANG

There's definitely something relating Xie Lian to Bai Wuxiang. I know that the human face disease is what led to the downfall of Xianle and I know that Bai Wuxiang is somehow connected to.. the disease, or that event? I'm not sure if it's necessarily so much that he even caused it, exactly? He kind of seems to be treated almost as a physical representation of or a stand-in for the disease, so maybe not the direct cause of it but very much associated with it. But yeah it makes sense for a scary ghost man to wreak that kind of havoc

They also say that Bai Wuxiang is hundreds of years dead by now but I don't believe that for a second. He probably never died in the first place or maybe died only in a metaphorical sense. I think it very likely that he's still around and just became someone else (maybe literally or maybe same man new identity)

So here's a theory. Xie Lian is Bai Wuxiang? I don't know if that's even possible as a god. But they both.. wear white.... And I can see major angst potential. Being the reason your kingdom fell? Listen: he definitely had a major fall from grace at some point. I can see in this a struggle with trying and ultimately failing to be a good person. Also. Mask. Not only do we not know the identity of Bai Wuxiang, but parallels with Xie Lian's prince mask

Then there's also the emperor. He's probably an if not The antagonist and probably the source of Xie Lian's problems. He just feels like an abusive dad, and a prince is a son of an emperor (be that literal or symbolic). But either way he looks similar to Xie Lian so big likelihood here for misdirection and/or MXTX's famous parallels

What I'm saying is he could also be Bai Wuxiang. Maybe both of them are?! Maybe Bai Wuxiang isn't any specific person at all??!?

I'm also saying that I'm just generally looking forward to getting more of the emperor in season 2 👀 I want to meet the scary man

OTHER CALAMITIES

The intro song lyrics are very good. I was really pleased to find that they're specific to TGCF because that was honestly one of my favorite things about the MDZS donghua; slowly getting a handle on certain terms and themes and then seeing them in the intro. The Realization. Good stuff. I wish that Netflix displayed the translation, not just because having that realization while watching would have added some kick to the experience, but also because it rounds out Hua Cheng's characterization nicely

So here's some character analysis for you: Hua Cheng talks about not wanting to show Xie Lian his true form because "it's ugly" or whatever. Either that's an excuse or it's just misleading. Once again with the shame. Hua Cheng thinking he's not good enough for Xie Lian. Which is understandable given the circumstances under which they first met/came into contact with one another (all this time later after Xie Lian has long since fallen out of favor and Hua Cheng still puts him on a super high pedestal because Xie Lian is still his reason to live and, in his mind, still the good and kind prince of Xianle. I think Hua Cheng also doesn't want Xie Lian to connect the atrocities (re: ugliness) to that little boy), but honestly hilarious given the way they're presented to us, the audience (These powerful forces of good and evil respectively have Self-Esteem Issues)

The things he says on the cart as San Lang I also don't want to discount as lies but more as him being a little tricky. He mentions gouging out his own eye and being kicked out by his family, and with the way that we're shown him as a little kid in flashbacks (bandages over his face, wearing rags and standing out in the rain), I'm betting these are things that happened 800 years ago

Also I think Hua Cheng wants to kill the green ghost and I hope he does it. I, too, hate the green ghost

I just hope Hua Cheng commits some horrible crimes in general over the course of the story and I'm betting that's what season 2 is going to be about. Man and his ghost city:)

I should mention Black Water Sinking Ships too because nominated coolest ghost. I don't know anything about him but I wish I did. There's also the tiny mention of the water tyrant which. Yeah. I couldn't help but be reminded of this man. Wouldn't be surprised if they're the same. It does sound like there's a good bit of corruption in the heavenly realm

BROAD THEMATIC STROKES

Identity is a big recurring theme for sure. Everyone is someone else, whether that be a disguise or a past life or what have you. I don't know where that's going and I'm very curious to see. I'm not sure it's necessarily about deception (most of the time?), maybe it's tied in with something along the lines of self worth/remaking yourself?

TGCF also seems to explore ideas of morality similar to MDZS but slightly to the left; I'm not really sure what the twist is though. There's obviously play with the seemingly harsh divide between heaven/good and the underworld/bad. Here's the direct comparison: MDZS takes the tone of acceptance. To be a person is to do good things and to do bad things, and that isn't something to be ignored. "Evil" is neither inherent nor unusual. Weirdly (given how the besties and I talk about MDZS as the pain show and TGCF as the fluff show lmao), I get the idea that TGCF is more.. pessimistic? Maybe it's bent less on the acceptance and more on the.. I don't know... commiseration?

Sensing the topic of mental health in here too, which is probably why I'm feeling like this one is possibly going to be more pessimistic/darker in tone than MDZS. One big question that I'm betting is going to get tackled is, what do you do when you want an escape? That seems embodied by both Hua Cheng being suicidal and Xie Lian seemingly trying to forget his past and/or reinvent himself.

Thanks @tiabwwtws for talking about this stuff with me and going insane. It's hard for me to make decent predictions because I honestly have no clue where this plot is going, character-driven stuff is easier with what little I know