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#nothing against him per se just his presence has forever been ruined by being a marvel actor for so long
criptochecca · 22 days
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fury road is one of my favourite action movies and my favourite mad max installment but you cannot pay me to watch the furiosa movie
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ladywinterwitch · 4 years
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Run Away ( Six - Endings, Begginings )
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader
Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.
Warnings: Mentions of smut, swearing, mentions of blood, badly written medical diagnosis, fluff, Nat and Bucky are a mess, mentions of abandonement
Word Count : 6720 
A/n: Chapter six. The big surprise. Nat and Bucky are working things out. That’s it, enjoy. Series Masterlist here. 
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                                  (Gif not mine)
-Don't go..- you murmured against your housband's jaw. He sighed while he caressed your naked back.
-I have to, baby. You know how Tony gets when he's left waiting. Also, I think Bucky needs to talk with someone.- he responded and you reluctantly let him go. You sat on the bed, the sheets covering your chest.
-I actually already talked to him. To them both.- you say. He stops for a second.
-You did?- you nod. He sighs.
-I think that they can't go on like this anymore. They have this particular and intense history that will always bring them close, but the way they ere handling things now, or better, how they aren't doing it, it's becoming toxic.- he shakes his head whilist getting dressed.
-I know.- you respond softly. He zips up his suit and you get up from the bed and walk to him with the light sheet wrapped around your figure.
-A little time apart will do them good.- you say, placing your hand on his clothed chest, the other still holding the sheet.
-Maybe for them, but I really wish I didn't had to leave you.- he says lowly with sadness in his voice. You smile sweetly and get on your tiptoes to kiss him.
-I know. But It'll be just a week, right? We've been apart for more than that.- you speak softly while he starts to kiss your neck.
-Don't remind me.- he whispers making you giggle slightly, nudging him away delicately.
-On your way, soldier.- he stands straight and you smirk lovingly. He reciprocates the smirk and gives you one last kiss.
After he leaves you sigh and you sit on the bed with the palm of your hand on your forehead. You're not feeling very well, so you actually consider to stay in bed for a few more hours, considering that you didn't even had the recruits to train.
You open your eyes and as soon as you try to stand up, your head starts to spin a little and the sudden need to throw up invades you. So you quickly go to the bathroom and kneel before the toilet bowl. After a few minutes you finish and come back to the bed, basically falling on it.
-FRIDAY, is Bruce in the building?- you ask, your voice a little muffled by the pillow.
-Dr. Banner is away on a mission with captain Rogers, mr. Stark, sergeant Barnes, miss Maximoff and mr Wilson, mrs. Rogers.- the AI responds and you huff, sitting straght, but still with closed eyes.
-Perfect.- you respond, cringing at the disgusting taste in your mouth.
-Mrs. Rogers, should I call for medical assistance?- you shake your head, then realize that she couldn't see you, so you responded with a 'No, thank you'. You forced yourself to go back to the bathroom again to brush your teeth and the mouthwash.
When you felt better you decided to take a shower. When you were done you stepped out of the box and started to dry yourself up with a towel. You casually glanced at the full lenght mirror and remembered a few nights ago when, while you were just about to make love, Steve told you that it seemed to him that you had gained a few punds. He was joking, but it kind of offended you, so you pushed him off the bed.
You took a looked at the mirror and realized that he wasn't completely wrong; your stomach was still flat, but your belly was indeed a little round. After a few other stares, maybe being your fantasy, but it seemed that your thighs and boobs were a little bigger too. They weren't noticeable changes per se, but they were for someone who knew their own body. You got dressed with your underwear and a pair of leggings, a baby blue long sleeved sport shirt and your short boots. You left your hair down and exited the room to go to the common room.
You felt a bit sad about your latest discovery. After your ‘return’ the team had basically prohibited you to go on the most risky missions. At least for some time. You didn’t really understood why, considering that now you were even stronger that you were before, but Steve especially insisted, forcing you to take a month off missions. So for the past month and a half you had been left behind to train the recruits. Which was basically minimum to none exercise at all. You could see how you could’ve gained a few pounds.
You found it empty, except for Natasha, which was on the phone, leaned near the wall-sized window. When she saw you coming she said goodbye to the person on the other side and hung up.
-Hey.- she said. You gave her an half smile.
-Someone secret?- you ask nudging your head towards her hand. She smirked.
-If you consider Clint a secret, then yes.- you nodded, sitting on the sofa, patting the spot at your side. She walked towards you and sat down.
-How's he?-
-Bored. He adores his family, but he kinda digs the action, you know? If he could put his family in a backpack and bring them on missions, he would.- you laugh.
-Yeah, I can imagine that. But it's right for him to be at home for some time. Laura's life must not be easy. Three kids and a farm to look after, all alone. It's right this way.- you answer. She nods in agreement.
-So, why up so late? Steve left early this morning.-
-Yeah, I know. I may or may not tried to convince him to come back to bed, but he's too honorable for that.- Natasha chuckled.
-Yeah, poor innocent Stevie.- she joked.
-And Buck? You said goodbye too?- you said casually. With the side of your eye you noticed that she stiffened a little.
-Didn't see him this morning.- she stood up, walking towards the kitchen. You followed her.
-Coffe?- she asked and you nodded.
-Did you two actually tried to talk and not to jump at each other’s throats?- she huffed and turned around as soon as the coffe machine began to do his work.
-Straight to the point, I see.- she crossed her arms.
-You argue a lot lately.- your tone was calm. You didn't want to make the impression that you wanted to force her to talk.
-Yeah, I guess we do.- she muttered, turning again to pour the coffe into the mugs.
-It's just..things aren’t working anymore between us. When we saw each other again, after all the years in the red room, it was just like coming back home again, you know?- she paused, looking at the mug between her hands. Meanwhile you went to the counter to add sugar and milk to your coffe.
-We just got together right away. Loving each other, making up for all the lost years.- she smiled a little and you did too. -It had been good for some time, but then something broke. We weren't able to stay together, but in one way or another we ended up in bed. Every argument, every gesture. So we went for a more 'booty call' kinda relationship.- you listened intently.
-Then again, that wasn't enough anymore. He started to do one night stands with diffrent girls, and so did I. Even then we still cared for each other. We were jealous, had this need to be together. It's not healthy, we both know it very well.- she bit the inside of her cheek.
-And now?- you interjected. You wanted to understand exactly where she was at, so you could help her, but it wasn’t always easy with Natasha.. She gazed at you for a split second.
-Now nothing. Literally. We haven't been sleeping together since forever, and in addition to that we almost can't stand each other's presence anymore. If I have to be honest, I'm pretty sure that he has something else on his mind right now.-
-Something?-  you asked, trying not to give away the fact that you already knew it.
-Someone.- she retorted sharply. You were a little taken back from her tone, but you didn’t pay it too much attention. Anyone would’ve been a little angry about something like that.
-I was going to break up with him anyway. For good. I love him, I mean, I would probably jump in front of a train for him, but I don't feel the same way anymore. And he doesn't either, so it's better like that. I wouldn't want to ruin the last few pieces of our relationship that are left.- She turned again with her usual smirk, even if a bit more bitter than usual. You can’t help to smile a little, because they’re more alike than they think. And you silently thanked God for that. It means that they will go through it, if not well, at least in agreement.
-Now you want to tell me why you were up late or not?- you did a gesture with your hand as if to brush away the question.
-I took my time to get up, and to get a shower.- you answered, putting the empty mug in the sink.
-What about we go out for lunch? I'm already starving.- she huffed a laugh.
-Yeah, well, hear me out. First thing first, it's barely eleven in the morning. And second, if we go out, you'll have to try to not order the whole restaurant.- your mouth dropped open while she laughed.
-You bitch! Are you and Steve in some kind of agreement? I get it, I eat a little more than usual lately, but there's no need to be asses about it.- you crossed your arms, a little defensive.
-I'm joking, hun. But lately you're eating a lot more than 'a little bit'. And what about Steve now?- you both started to walk out of the kitchen.
-Yeah, whatever. A few days ago we were kinda in the middle of something, and completely out of the blue he goes 'It's my impression or do you look a little round, darlin’?'- you mocked his deep voice and Nat widened his eyes, trying not to laugh.
-And instead of responding, I straight up pushed him off the damn bed.- she let out a loud laugh.
-What happened then?-
-In the end he apologized, saying that it wouln't matter for him anyway, as he should. But I didn't give up, and turned my back to him. I mean, you just called me fat while we were about to fuck and you think you can get away with it? Absolutely not.- she continued to laugh while you went down to the gym.
-
You and Nat joined Thor and Vision on the gym for a few hours, then went out for dinner instead of lunch. The morning after you got sick again and you cursed the poor sushi chef. You actually got a rough night, so you didn't pay too much attention to the sickness. It was always hard when Steve went away on missions. You missed him at your side and you always got worried.
Nonetheless, you faced the toilet again first thing in the morning. At that point you asked FRIDAY to search for an efficent stomach antibiotic. She found the best one and you went to a pharmacy to buy it. And you sure hoped that it was the best, because damn, it was expensive.
The prescription said to take two pills every day, before lunch and dinner, for at least a week. You did it, but for the next three days you didn't feel better and people started to ask about your delays, or why you just avoided every type of scent from the kitchen. It was so wired. You threw up your entire soul on the morning, but at night you ate basically everything that was on sight.
Also, the medicine leaflet said that if taken at the right hours, the relief shoud've been noticed already the day after, two maximum. But you didn't feel better, at all.
You started to wonder if maybe you didn't had a food poisoning. You didn't really knew what to do, and also the team would've been back in two days, so you tought that the best thing woul've been waiting for Bruce.
And so the days passed, the team came back in the middle of the night and you, into a deep slumber, didn't even notice when Steve snuggled in bed with you after taking a shower. You woke up feeling hot, and when you tried to move the sheets, you realized that you coudn't even move your arm. You widened your eyes in panic and sighed with relief when you looked down at the naked arm embracing you. You smiled and turned to face him. He was still sleeping.
'Poor baby, he must've been so tired', she tought. You started to caress his beard, a new look that you enjoyed very much. His eyelids fluttered open slowly and he gave her a sleepy smile that mirrored yours.
-Hey handsome.- you whispered.
-Hey beautiful.- he responded, with his morning voice. You liked that very much, too. But on the other hand, you loved the entirety of him.
He leaned onwards to give her a kiss. She accepted gladly, and a few moments later, he was above her, trailing his hand on her side, the other on her cheek, his elbow the only thing that kept him up. But just when the kiss deepened, she moved from under him and got up, running to the bathroom.
-I know that it's morning, but am I really that bad?- he joked, a little confused. His attitude changed when he heard you coughing. He got up, in his joggers and a short sleeved t-shirt, and went to the bathroom. You was kneeled in front of the toilet, coughing and throwing up.
-Hey, hey, baby. Take it easy, honey. What's happening?- he asked softly with worry in his voice. He goton his knees near you on the floor, and took your hair gently into a makeshift ponytail. With the other hand placed on you back, soothing and caressing up and down.
After a few minutes you finished and he helped you stand up, while flushing the bowl. You reassured him and quickly washed your mouth. Steve picked you up bridal style and brought you to the bed, not listening to you saying that you were fine, 'cause clearly you weren't.
-Do I need to take a basin? Water?- he asked caressing the hair near the forehead.
-I'm fine, Steve. I just need a minute.- you said weakly.
-Why are you sick anyway?- he asked. You sighed and shook your head slightly.
-Don't know, I think I caught food poisoning of some sort. Been going on like this for some days, but I'm on antibiotic so.- you answered.
-Why didn't you call me?- you smiled a little, rasing your hand to reach his cheek.
-Love, you were on a mission. Plus, I'm not dying, okay? It's just some disgusting food. Don't worry.- he shook his head, careful not to make her move her hand from his beard covered cheek.
-You should've called me anyway. I always want to know if something's wrong okay? After wha happened three months ago..I- you sushed him, pulling on his neck to bring him to you. You hugged tightly.
-I'm fine, Steve. Really. If it’ll make you feel better, I'll go get checked by Bruce okay? Oh yeah by the way, did everything went well? Everyone's okay?- he nodded.
-Yes, and yes to the second one. Please, I would be more reassured if you did.-
-
You asked FRIDAY to inform Bruce that you needed to see him and he gave you appointment a few hours later, after luch. The lunch that you hadn't been able to eat, to be precise. Steve had gone to talk to Fury about the mission, so you went alone. Before you went into the lab, you saw a glimpse of Nat and Bucky going down the elevator. You really hoped that they could find some peace.
You knocked even if the door was open, just to annouce yourself. Bruce was sitting at one of the desks, with a fuming mug in hand. He turned around and smiled at you whe he saw you.
-Hey. Come in.- you closed the door and went for a hug.
-How was the mission?- you asked, sitting next to him. He was wearing glasses and his curly black hair were a little more rebellious than usual.
-Smooth. Almost boring. Didn't even got beat up.- he joked making you chuckle.
-That's good.- he gave you a lopsided smile.
-What about you? I walked into Steve a couple hours ago and he asked me to check on you.- you nodded, sighing.
-I told him that I can handle it, but he made me promise to get visited, so here I am.- he rose and eyebrow, expectantly.
-It's been like, a week of throwing up. Few problems with my stomach, but none with the sleeping, let me tell you. Hadn't slept this good in months.- you emphasized the last words.
-Sure that that's not your husband's fault?- you jaw dropped at the tease and you smacked his arm slightly.
-Bruce Banner!- you exclaimed laughing. He laughed too, before focusing again.
-Well, it's not normal to be thowing up every day. What do you think it is?-
-Food poisoning, probably. Or maybe a bad stomach bug that got worse eating sushi.- you shrugged. He nodded thinking, and you added -I began to take an antibiotic anyway.-
-Since when did you began to take it?-
-Like, five days ago.- his brows furruwed and he got up, gowing towards one of the glass lockers. You saw that he took out a syringe and a test tube.
-As I already said, it's not normal. The antibiotic should have immediate effect, or at least you shouldn't be throwing up anymore. I'm gonna take a few drops of blood for a test, and in a couple of hours we'll know what's wrong.- he explained calmly. You nodded.
You rolled up your sweater's sleeve, and Bruce took just about the half of the syringe, then he applied a band aid and told you to come back in three hours. You thanked him and went to do your usual training with the recruits.
-
You just finished your turn five hours later and went straight to Bruce's lab. You were a little late, but you couldn't just leave the recruits in the middle of the training class.
You knocked and he opened the door letting you in. You saluted Tony who was busy with some files.
-Okay, I have been a little busy, so we’ll look at them together now.- he says absently while searching for the results on the laptop.
-Here it is.- he mutters narrowing his eyes in concentration. You were looking at Tony working while waiting, and saying that you jumped to the roof when the sudden noise of ceramic breaking reached your ears would be an understatement. Both you and Stark turned around to see what happened, and saw Bruce with a hand on his mouth and the coffe mug on the floor, in pieces.
-Bruce are you all right?- you ask with worry.
-Fucking hell Banner, lucky you that that damned coffe wasn't near any electronic devices.- he rolled his eyes calling for FRIDAY and asking to one of the maids to come and clean.
-Bruce?- you repeated again. He let himself fall on the chair, looking at you.
-You're pregnant Y/n. The blood test says that there's nothing wrong, except that you're pregnant.- you don't say nothing. Tony freezes, dropping his own mug. You're so shocked that you don't even flinch.
After a few seconds l Bruce calls for you tentatively, and you suddenly start to giggle, then laugh histerically.
-Oh God, I almost belived you almost got me for a second.- you say trying to catch your breath, but your smile died as soon as you saw that neither Bruce nor Tony were laughing. Iron man had went to the laptop, looking by himself.
-Y/n, it's true.- he said. Your breath was stuck in your throat and you felt like the roof was crumbling on you.
-H-how...It's not possible.. I- I can't..- Bruce came quickly to you placing a soothing hand on your shoulder.
-Y/N, look at me. Can you breathe for me? Just like that. Good.- he repeated while you breathed deeply.
-But didn't she had some sort of genetical condition?- Tony asked, confused. Someone knocked and an old lady dressed as a maid came in, with a mop to clean.
-Okay, uhm. I'll stay here, you go on lab 3 and do some check-up alright?- Stark said. You and Bruce moved to the next room and he closed the door, immediatly asking you to take off the swater for the ecography. You did and layed on the couch. He put gel on your stomach and started to examin you.
-Shit. You see that?- he says lowly pointing at a tiny thing, very similiar to a bean. You start to feel your eyes burning from the upcoming tears.
-That's my baby?- you ask almost naively. He smiles and nods.
-With what I can see, you're at least two and a half months pregnant. And not to be mean, but you kind of put on a little belly already.- you were in between laughing and burning him with your gaze. But in that moment all that you could do was look at the screen.
-But how is that possible?- you finally gazed at Bruce.
-Well, actually if you look to it, your uterus seems to appear different from the last time we did this. My theory is, when Steve and Bucky gave you their blood, with the super soldier serum, they kind of healed you. You are stronger, faster, you eat more because your metabolism requires so. Your sight is perfect, as well as your hearing and your reflexes. So it's not impossible that your uterus...healed too. I also forgot to mention that the blood test came back 100 % infected by the serum, like I had predicted.- you were speechless.
-Just think about Steve. Before the serum he was a lot shorter, had lungs problems, asthma, genetic conditions, was very thin and in poor health. If you think about it, it's not that impossible.- he said excitedly by his own realization.
-Oh my god.- you breathed. You stopped a few seconds to think about it, then a thought came to you and you expressed it to him.
-It worked on Steve. Why didn’t it heal Bucky?- you frowned, speaking softly. A sad expression appeared on the doctor’s face.
-Y/n, growing a whole new limb is not the same as correct a small internal malformation, nor like curing asthma. Bucky already had some super soldier serum in him before he fell from the train. And, even if miraculusly the serum could’ve actually been capable of healing him, he didn’t have enough in his system then. Also, Hydra gave him that metal arm. Even if it wanted to, the skin would’ve had an obstacle. It’s awful, but unfortunately it’s not the same.- hearing all over again what Bucky had been through made your stomach clench, and for once the blame wasn’t your baby’s.
Your baby. It sounded so wired and impossible to you. You were in seventh heaven, but you also couldn’t help but think about all the process, the time and the progress you went through to accept that the possibility of having a child wasn’t possible to you. And instead, here you were, pregnant and healthy, a baby growing inside you.
You thanked Bruce, hugged him and then practically run towards the elevator, but when it opened, you saw on one side Natasha and on the other Bucky. They both had the same mixture of anger and sadness in their eyes. Nat had glossy eyes and Bucky was chewing on his lower lip.
You were a little taken back when you saw them, and you honestly wanted to disappear, because you were so happy, while they were so broken. Bucky's face lit up and his crossed arms untangled, almost by surprise. Nat saw his reaction and looked at the source, and when she did, oh boy, you think you never saw her like that. She just straight walked past you towards the stairs. Bucky stopped the doors from closing and you stepped in timidly, pushing the button to the gym’s floor.
You finally looked up at him and he gave you the shadow of a smile. You did too.
-Are you okay?- you said softly. He took a deep breath, nodding.
-I am now. I said what I had to say, even if she didn't took it that well.- he bit his lip nervously.
-Oh, Buck.- you whispered, latching your arms around his torso. He didn't expect it so he didn't reciprocate right away, but then he circled you with his arms and melted into the embrace. The little moment was broken by the doors opening. You both let go, Bucky more hesitantly.
-If you need to talk, you can come to me. Or Steve. You know that.- you say to him with one hand on his cheek and the other blocking the floor. He was looking at you with such affection that almost made you want to hug him again until he was smiling again. But you couldn't. Not right now.
-I love you.- he said. You felt a strange sensation in your stomach, but you brushed it off. You took off the hand from his cheek and smiled at him sweetly.
-I love you, too Bucky. You know it. Maybe we can catch up when you're feeling to? Right now I have to get to Steve.- there was almost a sense of guilt in your words. He nodded and took a step back in the elevator.
-Of course you do. See you later, don't worry.- he gave you a small lopsided smile before the doors closed. You let out a sigh and got yourself together before reaching the running space, where you knew that he would’ve been. As expected, he was standing in a side of the gym, arms crossed in his training black suit, watching the trainees sparring in partners.
You walked towards him, he was giving you his back, focused on the training. But suddenly a very small boy stopped the match and stood straight doing the military salute, getting punched by his female parter which was as confused as Steve. So he turned to see what he was looking at and when he saw you he grinned.
-Tamara, bring him to the infirmary.- he ordered.
-Yes captain.- she said, taking the small boy's arm around her shoulders. When they walked past you, you stopped them.
-Hey, what's your name?- you asked smiling at him, his eye already starting to water. He looked starstruck when you talked to him.
-Benjamin, ma'am. Benjamin Bates.- he tried to do the salute again, but you delicately stopped his hand.
-Hello, Benjamin. Now, I appreciate the respect, trust me, it's really important. But your training and your well being,- you nudged at his eye, -Is more important. Next time try to be more careful, okay?- he was so flushed that he seemed ready to burst. He nodded.
-Thankyou ma'am.- you nod your head a bit and they moved on. Meanwhile a few of the trainees had stopped to look at the scene. Steve noticed and shouted at them to take a five minute run. No one had the courage to protest and with 'aye captain' they did as told.
You giggled and Steve smiled shaking his head, leading you to the office.
-So, to what do I owe this very well appreciated visit, mrs. Rogers?- he flirted, leaning back on the desk, beefy arms crossed and a smirk palying on his lips. You smirked too, getting close to him.
-What? You already forgot about the visit that you imposed me, captain?- you faked offense and he nodded, actually remembering it.
-How could I. So, what did Banner say? A big bad fish hurt my lovely wife?- you chuckled and placed a hand on his broad chest, he was grinning widely at you.
-You're in a good mood uh?- you teased. He suddenly gipped your sides bringing you attached to him, your faces a few inches.
-I always am when I am with you.- he said lowly, making you blush, looking down with a stupid smile on your face.
-So, Banner?- he insisted and you cleared your throat, recomposing yourself.
-Uh, yeah. I'm okay. No poisoning, no big bad fish.- he nods.
-That's great. But then why are you being sick?- he asked. An idea shoot though your mind, and you stepped away, deciding to play with him a little. You started to walk around the room casually, looking at photos, documents without particualr attention while talking.
-Oh, well, it's actually your fault.- you shrugged and he almost chocked on his saliva.
-What?- he blurted out.
-Yeah. He said that it's your fault, because you had...too much fun.- this time he stood straight, uncomfortable and quite flustered.
-Oh god. Oh...uhm..Have..Have I been to rough? Is that it? Oh baby I'm so sorry I- you brust out laughing, confusing him even more. You tried to keep yourself from laughing by biting your bottom lip. You walked towards him and saw that he was looking at you with puppy eyes.
-You're a silly man, aren't you?- you said lovingly, while latching your arms around his neck.
-But, Y/n..It's because of that? Please tell me. I don't understand.- he shakes his head.
-I said that you had too much fun, not that you hurt me. You would never do that, I know it honey. But you know, I think we should learn how to be a little quieter in future, to not disturb our new neighbour.- you said dead serious. He looked at you even more confused, trying to process the phrase.
-New neighbour? Be quiet? We have a floor just for us, who should...-then he stopped mid sentence. He narrowed his eyes.
-Are-are you saying what I think you're saying?- he asked with a little hope in eyes.
-I don't know. All I know is that if you don't learn real quick to change diapers, I'll be the one to kick your ass. Then you'll know how your trainees- he interrupted you with a kiss. He then grabbed your waist, raising you slightly from the ground, making you spin a little. You let out a muffled scream and started to giggle.
-Feel like.-you finished the phrase smiling while he looked at you with happy tears threathenig to spill from his blue eyes.
-Y-You're pregnant? How is- Are you- he continued to interrupt himself and you chucked again, placing your hands on his cheeks.
-Yes, I am pregnant. I am certain, and to anwers the 'how'..-your gaze softened.
-Is thanks to you. And Bucky.- he understood right awa, and brough a hand to cover his mouth.
-Just like..me. It healed you like it healed me.- you nodded and you almost could feel your own tears coming out.
-I'm going to be a dad.- he said, more to himself as a realization than to you, but you smiled and answered anyway.
-Yes, baby. And you're going to be the best dad in the world.- you gave him a peck on the lips, and in that exact moment you were interrupted by a trainee with short breath.
-Cap-captain Rogers, we did ten minutes and- Steve couldn't stop a stupid smile on his face.
-Yeah, rest of the day off.-
-Oh! Thanks sir. Thankyou. Mrs. Rogers.- he nodded at you and you gave him an half smile.
-
You and Steve were so happy, that you coulnd't wait to tell the team about the baby, so after dinner you and Steve stood up and everyone looked at you.
-Uhm, so. We have something to annouce.- you said, a little embarassed by having all eyes on you.
-You're moving out?- Wanda said with worry.
-No.- you responded.
-You're getting a divorce?- Sam tried and everyone threw daggers at him with their eyes. He put his hand in the air in mocking defeat.
-Just guessing.- he defended himself.
-No.- Steve responded to his question firmly.
-Then..?- Thor engaged you. You and your husband smiled at each other and then he wrapped his arm around your waist.
-We're having a baby.- he stated. The table fell silent, except for Tony and Bruce who rose up quickly to hug you, even if they already knew.
-Wait, what?- Sam widened his eyes.
-You're pregnant? For real?- Wanda said excitedly stepping up. You nodded as you parted from Bruce and went to hug her.
-Yes.- you responded sheepishly.
-Three months ago, when Y/n almost left us, Bucky and I gave her blood, as you know. And you also know that since then she acquired the super soldier abilities, what we didn't know, was that this change also 'healed' her entire body. And here we are.- Steve explained smiling at his best friend, whose on his behalf, wasn't smiling at all. He looked quite shocked actually, but then seemed to wake up from his thoughts and stood to go hug Steve.
-Congratulations punk.- he said parting quickly.
-It's thanks to you too, Buck. We wouldn't have this opportunity if it wasn't also for you. Hell, she probably wouln't even be here.- the blonde said with gratitude. Bucky was getting umcomfortable for some reason.
-Don't even mention it.- he responded in the end. Then Steve turned to hug Thor and Sam, and Bucky looked at the woman he loved. There, he said it.
He was in love with Y/n, and it was a damn mess. She turned to him and excused herself from Vision and Wanda.
-Hey.- he reciprocated your smile.
-Congrats.- he pulls you in an embrace, nuzzling his nose in your soft hair. You close your eyes and clasp your arms behind his torso.
-Thankyou. For everything.-
-It's nothing, doll.- he shrugs. You part from him just enough to look at him in the eyes.
-It's not nothing. Your friendship, your support, your kindness. This.- she lookes down for a split second, -It's also thanks to you. So just accept the gratitude and shut up.- you smile and he chuckles.
-Alright, alright.- he nods and they break the embrace, much to Bucky's discontent. Y/n looks around for a moment.
-Where's Nat?- she asks to no one in particular. Steve walks to her side.
-She said that she's waiting for you on the balcony.- he responds calmly, but with a strange sadness in his voice. You frown but just nod and go towards the open area. You close the glass door behind you and you see her sitting on the swing seat.
She gives you a lopsided smile when she sees you approach and you reciprocate. You sit next to her.
-Well, I guess I should make my congratulations to the new mom-to-be.- you huff a little laugh and shake your head.
-I still can't believe it.-
-I'm really happy for you two. You deserve it.- she says.
-I'm just...All that pain. Was actually useless.-
-No. Pain is always a way to become stronger, to grow. Also, before, you actually couldn't have kids. You couldn't know what would happen. You didn't know that there could be a possibility. The important thing is that you accepted it and you didn't let the sadness put you down.- you gave her a half smile, grateful for that pep talk. There was a pause, then the redhead spoke again.
-I'm going away. For a while, at least.- your head snapped quickly towards her.
-What? When? Why?- she looked down sighing.
-I leave tomorrow. I actually asked Fury for an undercover mission, and he assigned me one. I need some time by myself, Y/n. I need to clear my mind and stay away for a while.- she explained, trying not to hurt you.
-But..Nat I need you. It's selfish as hell, I know, but I wish that you’d stay.- you said, -But I understand. If that's what's best for you, then...it's what's best for you.- you cringed at your own words, feeling too upset to actually form a sentence with a logic sense. She chuckled a bit and took your hand.
-Thanks. But I promise that I'll be back for when the baby's born. I couldn't miss Steve's panic.- you both laughed.
-You better be.- you teased.
-Don't worry honey. There'll be plenty of people here for you. I assure you that.- she spoke the last words with a bitterness that you didn't quite understand, but you decided to not ask. Instead, you hugged her.
-Take care of yourself. And try to call once in a while-
-I'll try.-
-
Nat left just after your conversation, entrusting you with the job of telling the others where she was. You felt sad at her departing, but you pushed that thought aside, thinking that it was the best thing for her right now. You were left alone in the balcony, just enjoying the fresh air of the night.
-Here all alone, doll?- you opened your eyes slowly as a smirk creeped on your face. You turned to the voice, not really surprised. You had enhanced hearing now after all.
-Just enjoying a little peace.- you respond to the tall dark haired man in front of you. You leaned against the metal bar, your body open to him. He had his arms crossed and a lopsided smile graced his handsome features.
-Fair enough. You won't be having any of that in a few months.- you sighed and he chuckled. He noticed that you started to involuntarily stroke your arms, so he got closer and wrapped himself around you.
You grinned at him and hugged him back. The two of you kept staring at the stunning view of New York's lights.
-I'm really happy for you, you know that right? Both of you. No one deserves this more than you do. You'll be a wonderful mom.- you gnaw on your bottom lip delicately, trying not to cry. You gaze up at him and smile.
-You think so?- 
-Obviously. I’m sure of it. Because you know what it means to grow without a family and you’re a good person. You’ll know what to do. And Stevie too. He’s a punk, but he’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.- you chuckle slightly. 
-You know about Nat, don’t you?- you said more like a statement than a question. He nods and speaks after a few seconds.
-Yeah. She told me this morning.- 
-So you finally talked?- he nods again. Rubbing his hand on your arm to warm you up.
-Yes. Turns out we were more on the same page than I thought.- his voice was calm.
-That’s good.- you didn’t mention your conversation with her. They talked, it was over and you shouldn’t interfere anyway. 
-Mmh.- he hummed in agreement. - We said that we were sorry, that we care for each other but it’s best if we end it, and we did. Then she asked me if I had someone else. I told her that I had someone in my mind, but I wasn’t with them. She got a little mad because she felt betrayed. I respect that, so I apologized and wished her the best. I asked if we could stay friends, but she said that she needed some time first.- you placed a hand on his chest to soothe him.
-Bucky, I’m with Nat for the friends part. You have a lot of baggage by yourselves and a history together. I know that you probably think you’re okay with being just friends, but you both need time apart. You can’t end something like that and pretend it didn’t happen.- your voice went form calm to a bit more firm tone, -I’m fucking upset that she’s going away on her own okay? But I understand where her mind is and I think this time will do her good. And you should try to move on, in an healthy way, too. Maybe try something with whoever’s on you mind, mh?- you part from him with the intention to go back inside and give him a smirk while saying the last phrase. 
He doesn’t laugh or smile at first, and you think that maybe you went too far, but then he steps closer and places a hand on the back of your head, kissing softly your forehead before stepping back again. 
-Thanks for the talk. Now, we should go back inside. It’s getting late, you’re cold and Steve would kill me if I let you freeze out here.- his sweet tone reassures you a bit and with his words you step inside, your body instantly warming up.
You turn around and Bucky’s already gone. Your heart drops slightly. He’s clearly not okay now, but he will be. Two warm hands lay on your shoulders startling you a bit.
-Hey, it’s just me.- Steve chuckles and kisses your cheek.
-Can we go to bed? I think I really need a good ass nap.- he laughs again and nods, interwining your hand and leading you towards the elevator. You both quickly wave at the remaining members of the team and head up for your floor.
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Quite some news in this chapter, uh? Don’t worry, it’s not gonna be all fluff and unicorns for long, not to spoil or anythin’ ;) 
If you liked it and you care about the story continuing, I ask you to leave a feedback to let me know, if not, it’s okay :)
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Taglist: @polarcrystall​   @a--1--1--3​   @silver-winter-wolf​
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ofmythsandmadness · 5 years
Text
Hidden Attraction
PAIRING: Diego Hargreeves x reader SUMMARY: It’s all fun and games, until feelings come out and get hurt. WORD COUNT: 4.5k 
WARNINGS: none really?? just fluff. A/N: I’ve never posted one of these before lol I don’t know what I’m doing but I liked this one shot and I want to put it out into the world. I’m a sucker for Diego Hargreeves. He needs more love (and I’m gonna send it his way). Also this is in third pov but it is x reader. Not oc.
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"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FALLING ASLEEP?"
"Uh...no?"
Her eyes had flown open the second the words began to leave his lips, a sheepish smile beginning to grow as she realised she had been caught. Even while blinking at the bright light - consequences of drifting even just for a few minutes - she could make out his frown, jesting but still masking his own grin at the situation. His eyes were narrowed and the longer she stared at him, attempting to sit back up on the couch in a totally not graceful manner, the harder it got for him to hold a straight face.
At the last second, just before he broke, he gasped out a retort in an ever-dramatic manner he clung to, "Am I really that uninteresting?"
In response, she groaned and tossed a pillow his way, a half-hearted whine leaving her throat during her readjustment on the couch. He blocked the legs and laughed as she groaned, arms supporting her still-sleepy head as she tried to make him 'stop, dude, alright?' because even though it totally was, she would cling to the position that none of this was funny.
Truth was, he could not be further from that, being one of the few people that could talk for legitimately hours about absolutely nothing and keep her attention. However, it had been a long day, trudging through the hours after waking up at a ridiculously early time, and even spending time with the one guy she knew who could make a phone book a riveting conversation piece (were phone books even relevant, anymore?), that was not enough to cure her short-fledged sleepiness, apparently.
It had not helped that she had sat back instead of talking or trying to be entertaining, content with sitting beside him and watching. Her head had been resting against the pillows littering his couch, legs resting just beside his thighs with socked toes curled up. His concentrated hums as he cleaned his knives, followed by quiet curses and mutters, was frankly adorable but the quiet nature was just another method to lull her into a dream world, a smile tickling her lips as she watched with her head propped up.
She was not even tired, per se, there was just a comfortable nature that came with him that allowed for a feeling of safety to wash over and assure her that there were no troubles to be had there. Came with the territory, maybe.
"Sorry," she grumbled, seating herself totally upright and beside him, just a breath away - the space between them a sharp reminder of what exactly they were. Her legs curled up to rest beside and though her body almost naturally inclined, she dared not lean her weight. "I'm the worst company, aren't I?"
At that, Diego let out one of his sharp laughs, a bark that shattered any fragments of sleep still clinging tight. "Shut up."
"Shut up, what?"
"Shut up, and don't say you're the worst company," he chuckled. He shifted on the couch and his arm grazed against hers, skin just barely touching skin in a way that made her breath catch in her throat. Everything felt cold, just for a second, then hot like a burning flame threatening to catch fire all throughout a wooden home. "Because you know what? You're not."
"Oh, so you like having me around? Or you just like free-loading at my apartment?"
"Ha - right. I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you."
"Aw, you like me, Hargreeves?"
To that, he offered no answer, his eyes trained away and body turned slightly so she could not read his expression. Curiosity, sharp and dark bit at her mind, corrupting her thoughts before she could stop her. It was just a joke, and sure it was a bit of an awkward response to ask for a reason why, but she could not stop herself, subconsciously wishing that there was more of an answer - the words you craved - attached to the joke.
However, there was nothing, just his brown eyes shifting back to meet hers. His arm had moved as he turned, sitting with his legs raised up with that silly, stupid grin that drove her absolutely wild. Could he possibly know how much it hurt, to look upon it and not act out of the wild, dangerous feelings heating up her heart like so?
He asked, then, if she wanted him to stay or would just end up falling asleep again - because he promised to buy her pizza, but ‘was there a point if she was going to sleep through the day’? To that, she shrieked and slammed another pillow his way, pretending to cry bloody murder against his slight. Damn him and his jokes, his words always sending a flutter through her system even when it was over something so meaningless as food.
She nodded, wrapping her sweater closer around her as she sat back on the couch. She was not so much cold, just ashamed for her thoughts as he walked away, curious and red-hot with hidden attraction. It was ridiculous, as though she had fallen straight from a teen fiction novel - only with her situation, there was no happy ever after, no grand finale with a sweeping kiss and confession of their love. For one, neither were really into the romantic gestures that made up cliche romance movies, but also she sort of knew her feelings were one-sided, that she sat alone in her boat wishing that he would change his mind on how he felt about her.
She had known him for a while. Felt like forever, but it was more like four years, give or take. After meeting him at a bar, after one of his missions, the pair grew close, very quickly and strong, too. There was no romantic tension for a while, just interest in one another, talking and laughing and spending long nights after his nightly patrols pretending everything was good in the world. It had been hard before to find good, genuine people in a world driven by numbers and climbing over others to hit the top, but the pair of them had bonded over a love for horribly bad movies and stupid jokes that often made no sense to anyone but the pair of them. They played video games when a stack of work lurked in the background, knew each other's coffee orders so that when they stopped by for the evening they had that to offer along with a smile, and could talk about the most random of topics for hours on end. She knew how to make him smile after a long night, and he hugged her close when the stress got too bad and she felt like she was in too over her head. What made their friendship so good, however, was that they could do the complete opposite and find comfort in one another's silent presence, busy with their own tasks but happy for the company.
With him, everything was easy and natural. She never found herself trying to prove herself in any way, she was just herself and he seemed to reflect that back to her. Everything was easy and always made sense. Y/N and Diego - they just worked.
It was just her luck that she fell for him, feelings lurking constantly in the back of their animosity. She hated herself for it. Of course, she had to try and ruin a good friendship, something so rare to come by - she could have been fine with just remaining platonic, but her heart beat in a different direction than her brain and she fell, hard. Even harder, knowing he felt nothing towards her in that way and never would - hating herself for getting angry that he did not. There was no point in frustration towards something so uncontrollable as human emotions, even though she did grew upset time and time again.
The only good thing about the equation was his oblivion, saving her from embarrassment or any further shame.
No matter. She was cool, had been for the three and a half years she had felt that way and could hold on because her friendship with him meant far too much to be sabotaged by a schoolgirl crush.
She grinned as he headed back, simply because she had to - the way he pranced, yes pranced with his phone in hand and a grin on his lips as though he had done a greater deed than just order pizza, it was ridiculously intoxicating. He was so pure, so perfect, sometimes.
He collapsed back onto the couch. His arms went back to stretch across the back and his head went back as well, dark locks falling across his face in an almost perfect spiral. The half-way curls, normally gelled back in some sort of complex nature, were messy and fell all around his head, making him look younger, like a boy seen once in an old photograph that the women would ogle at. A golden boy as the last rays of sunshine pierced his half-drawn curtains, eyes half-shut against the light and his face lax.
He, however, had to ruin the moment with a dramatic sigh and a grumble not quite decipherable, though perhaps a positive as she really was not quite sure if she could take such a perfect image. He mumbled again, dragging his hands down his face and pulling at the skin, causing a grotesque face that she could not help but laugh at. Though, let it be known, her chuckles came from a very different light then he would think as he looked her way.
"Are you laughing at me!?"
"Oh no, totally not," she giggled, swatting away at his hands. She shifted on the couch with a squeal as he attempted to grab at her, swinging her body as far as she could down from him as he tried to tickle. She shoved his arms away while still protesting, though her words grew more and more forced and she found herself leaning into to his half-assed embrace, still giggling even with nothing was funny. She was gravitating into his arms, relishing the close nature. As a sailor, he was her damn siren, his dark eyes and smile luring her back in - because of course that had to be the thought that came to mind, making him only so much more irresistible.
His laughter slowed into soft chuckles as he gave up on the attacks, leaving her to flop back onto his couch still wearing her giddy expression. Only, where she had assumed he would sit back up and refuse such close contact as before, his weight remained hovered over her held up by his arms, muscles flexing actually pretty fucking gloriously in the dim lighting. She shifted casually, licking her lips and watching his actions closely.
She was not sure what to think. All she could remark on was that his presence was intoxicating and how she could make out almost every little mark on his face like she had not before, complete with the tiny scar over his right eyebrow down to the mole beneath his chin that she had never noticed before.
Soon he was closer, closer than he had dared to be before, where her breath had dissipated and her heart was burning in her chest, yearning for the chance to close the distance and her eyes could only fixate on his, even while wanting to look away and save herself before she lost it.
Her eyes fought to send their gaze down to his lips, even just for a second, but she remained frozen. Her smile trembled and fell further with every passing second, replaced with lax lips and a state of confusion swimming in her eyes. Shivers flew down her spine and her right hand moved closer to his, every so often just to the point where her fingers were just grazing his and fuck, how the tension between them was killing her, where everything had stopped and yet was moving so fast, a time-space continuum that made no sense and yet was sending them flying into unknowns never quite reached before.
It seemed he felt that, too, shifting his weight with one arm resting ever so close to her hip and the other supporting himself. His front lock hung down, curling over his face and his lips fell slack slightly. His face grew closer, close enough for her to wonder just what was about to happen if there was a shared feeling between them both that had never been-
-the moment was shattered, within seconds both of them flying away from one another as loud pounding erupting and they were reminded that for some ungodly reason, the pizza man had to have the worst timing known to man, ever. Seriously, it was insane how fast he managed to show, considering it had only been what, five, ten minutes? Not even.
"That was fast."
"Uh-huh," he grumbled, slipping off the couch with a thud and headed for the door. His head was bowed and he seemed grumpy, nay, brooding, almost stomping to the door in a way she would have found cute hours before.
Not another word was said, and she was left to bury her head in her hands and silently scream.
That was a mess. All of that, leading to just a giant pile of crap, awkward moments of reconsideration on what was really felt, if she was insane for ever thinking that the two of them could have that weird rom-com moment and be more than the screw-ups who danced around one another like so.
"Food's in."
She did not respond. She really was not hungry, anymore.
The rest of the night was spent almost entirely in silence. The two of them ate, and he tried to crack a few jokes but they fell on silent ears. There was no laughter slipping from her lips, even when they quivered and debated a chuckle - there was no point. She was shaken up, confused, disappointed and upset, all in a whirlwind erupting in her chest as she tried to finish her slice of pizza.
She was not so sure what to think about that moment. Sure, it could have just been the way events played out, awkwardly slipping from one to another and leading to them too close on the couch, but her infatuated heart wanted it to be more than that. There had never been any sign of attraction before, but who was she to try to explain the logic of love? Simply because, there really was not any when it came to that mystic woman.
She slipped down the tiny hallway of the apartment, mint sucked tight in between her teeth. She called out that she was just going to the washroom, and all that was received back was a dull 'alright' from where she had been before. There was no way to even know if he had even heard her, or just heard noises and acknowledged them without a care.
The water running was a good cover up for her sighs, mutters and frustrated groans as she ran her hands through her hair and tried to think. There was no time for the hopeless romantics, and she was not about to try anything like before - she just wanted to understand, that or just let go of her own feelings and walk out of the tiny room without a care in the world, looking at him once more as a friend.
She could not, it was not a faucet that could just be flicked off, but oh, did she wish it was.
She sighed and wiped her hands off, moving to head out. Without thinking, she flung open the door with more aggression she even knew she possessed and stepped out into him, causing a collision with two identical cries of shock echoing.
Almost immediately, his hands were out to catch her before she could fall, grasping at her waist to prop her back up before a potentially bad fall. One hand slipped to her waist and the other clutched tight at her arm, pulling her back up with a soft 'I've got you' mumbled out. She bit at the inside of her lips and tried not to think about the touch, or the close quarters, or how sweet his whisper sounded - none of that would help, she had to move away, as fast as possible.
She mumbled a quick 'thank you' under her breath and tried to sort herself out. Only, she was failing rather miserably as the hands around her would not sending jolts of electricity through her and causing her brain to freeze up, leaving her to stutter and flinch into the embrace and struggle to move away.
Her gaze lifted to once more meet his, the soft look in his eyes directed her way. She took in the way his lips curved ever so slightly to suggest a smile threatening to break, and how his one hand moved slightly with his fingers rubbing against her bare skin slowly, soothingly. She was on fire.
And she had to get out, afore she got burned.
She tore out of his arms in a new rush, crying loudly that she had to get out and grab something, back to absolutely nothing but her tears and regret - though that was not shared aloud. She bustled around in search of her backpack, car keys, wherever she could have placed her phone - all the while ignoring him and his soft, almost worried calls of her name from the other sides of the room. She could not stop and allow him to have her attention again, one more slip and she would be drowning in feelings that could not make their move right then or ever, really, but emotions that threatened to-
-he called her name, louder that time, demanding attention.
She stopped, phone clutched in hand, any emotional strength left in the right. She dared not look at him. "What?"
"What is going on? What - what are you doing?"
Maybe it was the regret, the guilt, the disappointment or the sad fantasies drowning inside her head, maybe it was all or none of that that made her react - no matter. What did matter was how fast she could switch from hurt to snappy, walls flung back up in defense of her aching heart. "Excuse me?"
"Where are you going- you live here, Y/N? Why are you tryna leave?"
Oh, so that was how it would be spun. She folded her arms against her chest and glared, unsure just what she was doing but willing to wing it, anyways. "I'm just going to grab something, dunno why you're getting your knickers in a twist."
Normally, one of her signature odd expressions would make him at least chuckle, but he almost entirely ignored what was just said. Instead, he just drew closer, jaw clenched, ticking - he was upset, though not angry as she had seen him before, dealing with a new variation she could not quite decipher. Though his words claimed an upset with her, there seemed to be more than that going through his head, she just could not tell what.
"You're avoiding me."
"Avoiding you? What are you goin' on about? I've been with you all night, I'm not avoiding you."
"You won't even look at me - see, right there, you won't look at me, you're avoiding my eyes right now!"
She bit at her lip and forced herself to gaze up, though not without careful consideration of just flat out bolting out his door without another word. He was just a bit away, at that point, close to almost touching her, and still drawing nearer as their eyes linked. It was nearly impossible to stand her ground while staring him in the eyes, fighting back whatever futile emotions were fighting their way to the top. She was better than whatever her heart said, though, and she was not about to break just because of how adorable he was in that light, with-
"-Hello?"
"-huh?"
His lips were pressed into a thin line, showing how annoyed he was growing, fast and heavy. "I asked a question."
She had not been listening, though the words had been caught - as she forced herself to think back, collect what had been said, her cheeks felt warmer and damn, it was getting harder to not fall into a total puddle, right then and there.
"Look..."
"...d'ya have a problem with me? Is that it?"
"What? No, of course not!"
"Then why -" he groaned, running his hands through his hair and stepping back, almost immediately unleashing the frustration that was building up in his chest. "I've been trying to understand what you're trying to say but you're so damn confusing, and I don't know - I mean, if I thought you didn't want to kiss me, I wouldn't have tried, it's just-"
"-wait, what? Don't want to--, what the hell are you saying?"
"I'm saying if you don't want to -- just say so, let me know that I was reading wrong into this but don't make me feel stupid about it, avoiding me and all that?"
To say she was confused, well she certainly was that, her brain muddling up with a thousand thoughts and all she could do was stare at him, take in everything that was being said and try to comprehend just what it was implying. He thought she did not have an interest, he thought that it was her trying to get out of the bad situation - which, sure she was at that moment, but that did not count in the same sense - and avoid him, when she had been pining and he had made it clear he thought of her as nothing but a friend. She wanted to laugh, and cry, and scream and yell and kiss him, all at once, though maybe not it all, just the last mostly.
"I'm not avoiding you," she muttered, gritting her teeth in an attempt to control her beating heart, "I thought you didn't give a damn about me that way, so I laid off as you wanted. You made it clear you weren't interested in me, and then -- whatever happened before, you just brushed it off! I thought it was a mistake!"
He snorted. "I only did that because you seemed so upset by it, I thought you hated me for trying to make a move!"
"That was you making a move!?"
"YES!? What does that mean?"
Everything was ridiculous about it all, both of them screaming in the middle of his apartment, his face reddened and hers flushed too, heated beyond belief. Her heart threatening to jump right out of her chest and his breathing harsh and heavy, gasping for air after going without for so long. The both of them sounded like teenagers, bickering over the stupidest of things, not twenty-somethings with semi-respectable lives and a whole wack tonne of wasted time between them both.
She was not quite sure just why she laughed, next, but suddenly a gasp of sound was leaving her lips, joined by sharp chuckles echoing about the apartment, loud and bright and clear as day. She had to actually stop for a second and rest her hand against the wall, breathless and dizzy from how hard she was laughing even as he stared on in shock.
"Why are you...what?!"
She took a shaky step forward, confidence bubbling in the same way as her dying laughter. He looked so adorable in that light, still wearing shock and confusion openly on his face as he looked on. Everything just felt so stupid, and dumb, and everything on top of oh-so-right and - wow, she was smitten, just as she had been before, losing her breath and wishing that she could finally just drum up the right words and actions.
And so, she did, at least tried to.
"I...I've been wanting to kiss you for a while," she mumbled, barely a whisper as her confidence drained fast. She was not quite sure what she was saying, what was going to fall from her lips but all she knew was that maybe for once, things were working out, the stars or something aligning and giving her a chance at something good. "I've liked you for...fucking forever, maybe? Just about - and jeez, this is so weird and stupid to say out loud."
At that, he laughed too, though it was soft and more of a recovery mechanism, an attempt to regain control before losing himself entirely. She flinched as one hand found her waist, gentle and tentative, but the touch was not hated. She relished it, leaning into it with a careful smile and stars dancing in her eyes. She then moved too, one hand finding his shoulder and the other clenching and unclenching, digging crescent moons into her palms as if to assure herself that it was not a dream, that it was all very much reality.
Somehow, someway.
He moved his other hand to find her face, moving a tendril of hair back to tuck behind her ear as though their lives had become one of the corniest but beautiful rom-coms out there, and that was their big finale moment.
His face was so close, closer than he had been before, just centimetres away and oh, how both ached to close the distance. The dim light of the TV and the sole light in the kitchen cast careful shadows against his face, but both could make out one another features perfectly, his lips slightly parted and lax and her eyelashes fluttering as her eyes began to slip shut.
"I'm...I'm going to kiss you now," he breathed, still holding his hand carefully up to her face, as though she was a fragile flower threatening to fall apart at any second. "We good on that?"
With that, she was set free and wasted no words on any response, instead choosing to prey on what little confidence she had stored left. She broke the distance between them and pressed her lips gently against his. He responded almost immediately, tilting his head just as she did and holding her close while his thumb rubbed soft circles against her waist. His hand still held her head tenderly but pressed her closer to him, his tongue cheekily swiping across her bottom lip with a smile lurking close behind. She stumbled slightly as they grew closer but with a shared giggle and shift in positions, her back was against the wall and lips back on his and her hands clasped tightly around his neck. Her heart was beating about a million miles a minute and truly, their 'fairy-tale moment' felt a thousand times better than anything she had watched in those cheesy movies of days long past.
Sure, the two of them were standing alone in his apartment in the near-dark with a box of half-eaten pizza open on the table, clock ticking close to nine and the sounds of angry cars and pedestrians echoing outside the cracked-open window, but neither cared. They could be just about anywhere, at that moment, nothing else mattered just then.
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thedeviljudges · 6 years
Text
based on this adorable comic where spf chapstick prevents an area of skin - in the shape of lips - from being burned.
Billy remembers the grief he’d gone through when his summer tan slipped away slowly as fall, then winter, then spring hit Hawkins. He’d been used to golden flesh, how easily it remained in California year-round because soaking up the sun had always been easy living in a state where there wasn’t anything less.
But now- now he feels it on his skin again for the first time in two years. The sun in Hawkins, despite Dustin’s insistence that the world used the same source of light, differed greatly. It was warm there, but not enough, always a lingering chill in the air from harsh winters that chapped his cheeks red, turned his lips pale blue.
Billy sighs under shrieks of laughter in the distance, under the sun on a hot day, thankful to be away, to be gone from Hawkins and its misery. There had been good moments, couldn’t deny the fact that he’d built a small family unlike anything he’d ever known, but sometimes the worst drowned out the good, fought tooth and nail not to let it completely ruin him.
And it almost did. It almost ate him whole, so when Billy nudges Steve’s shoulder, catches those deep brown eyes in the glow of the sun, he thinks how lucky he survived it all so he could have this.
“What’s on your mind?” Steve asks softly. There’s sweat clinging to his brow, dampening his hair. It falls loosely against his face, unruly yet soft, and there’s a shine to it, a glaze of red undertones that aren’t noticeable anywhere else. The ends are curling, too, and Billy wonders what it’d look like if it coiled a little more.
Eventually, he settles his gaze on Steve’s rosy red cheeks, knows he’s probably burning from the heat he isn’t used to, and yet he looks happy nonetheless. “Nothing,” Billy says against the backdrop of the waves swimming towards the shore.
It isn’t a lie, per se, but he’s content for the first time in a long time. Billy doesn’t feel the burn in his veins anymore, almost like the fire within him had been dashed out as soon as they’d crossed the Indiana state line. Where the Come Back Soon! sign mocked him through feigned pleasantries that only existed in the vacuum of a small-town. He’d felt regret, of sorts, for leaving Max behind – for leaving all the kids behind, if were honest – but Steve had promised him they’d be okay, that phones existed and so did airplanes.
“You wouldn’t be looking at me like that if it was really nothing.”
Billy ducks his head, grins sheepishly at the accusation. “I’m happy,” he admits, lifts his head up only to cock it to the side, at the wonder of how easily that had slipped off his tongue. Billy doesn’t like emotions, doesn’t like admitting he has them because it means tackling the unsavory selection alongside the good ones. It’s a work in process, the tension that clings to him when he admits defeat, it a strong contender against Steve’s reminder that he’s safe, and he’s loved and that Billy’s not going to be punished for feeling.
He opens his mouth to take it back, to attach another slew of words to keep the moment from turning on its head, though quickly realizing that if he does that, that might actually be what does it anyway.
But Steve’s there with his hand against Billy’s knee, fingers curling around the jut of the bone. He scoots himself closer, unapologetic for doing so, especially around other people on the beach. Billy instantly relaxes against him.
“Yeah?” Steve says softly, tone drifting into exasperation, like Billy hasn’t looked him in the eye and specifically told him he loves him, like Steve’s hearing the echo of love in Billy’s voice for the first time all over again.
Billy’s maybe not said it in so many words, but he’s shown it in the best way he knows how. He likes handholding, and he likes Steve’s hugs. Billy loves it most when he traces Steve’s freckles, counts them over and over again like he doesn’t already know the exact number across the length of Steve’s body, the one hiding just behind his ear. When they’re together, Billy swears he smiles a lot more, feels his toes curl when he wakes up next to Steve in their bed, loves kissing every inch of exposed skin.
With deep blue eyes, Billy blinks his sharp gaze across Steve’s, sketches this moment to memory before nodding. “You say it like you had nothing to do with it.”
Steve snorts, nudges Billy’s shoulder again, grinning back at him before looking out to the water, out to the horizon. “Can’t take all the blame for that one,” he says.
Billy knows what he means when he says that, how Steve can’t be Billy’s entire stepping stone. Billy also can’t give away his progress, the one he worked on himself, but it’d be unfair to say that Steve hadn’t been an influence. Billy knew that one or the other would win out – loving Steve like he deserved or crashing and burning, used and withered in self-hate as alcohol become the only friend he’d have left to abuse.
The sharp pain from biting his lip brings Billy back around, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever rid of gratification. Out of every path he could’ve stumbled down, he’d like to think he chose the right one. It certainly feels like the right one.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, this time with confidence bleeding out the nerves. Billy knows he could’ve fucked off to god knows where all on his own, without Steve by his side. He could’ve ended up in any state, in any city, and Billy hadn’t actually been positive he’d wanted to come back to California after he’d been forced to leave it, but he remembers the day the wind blew Steve’s hair across his face - the way he cursed, ran his fingers through it, mumbled that he needed a haircut – and Billy asked him if he’d like for them to be together.
The moment Steve stammered out the inevitable I’d follow you anywhere, Billy felt obligation leak into his system. “Would you mind California for awhile?” he’d asked. “Got some things to show you.”
Steve’s grin couldn’t’ve been anything less than perfect.
Now though, Billy has shown Steve his hometown, has led him across the best shops, the hideaway restaurants that serve the best food. He’s taken him to visit his mother even if all that’s left is a simple gravestone kept tidy by the groundskeeper, Billy expressing his regret for not visiting sooner.
They haven’t settled here permanently, at least Billy doesn’t think so, but right now, he thinks he could stay here forever.
“Well, it’s good you think so,” Steve counters, taps his fingers against Billy’s knee. He’s pale – they both are, still – but Steve insisted on sunscreen, on protection because we both know who’ll look a lobster, Billy, and that is not a look I’m willing to rock, even for you. There’s white specks in between his fingers where Steve’s forgotten to rub the lotion in all the way. It’s made him a little ashy and sticky all over, but Billy hums as he presses a finger into the dip between two knuckles, rubbing away. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”
Here on a sunny day, Billy knows they should still be careful, but he’s a lot laxer than he was before. It’s why when Steve leans over and presses pink, chapstick-lined lips against Billy’s arm, he doesn’t make a scene, doesn’t pull away from the affection that Steve so easily gives. He feels thrilled, pleasantly at ease without the burden of hate waiting for him back home because the best thing Billy gets to go home to now is Steve and their apartment and their life they’ve built for themselves far away from insular traditions.
“You hungry?” Billy says in reply, squeezes Steve’s hand atop his knee to let him know his words did not go amiss. But his stomach growls in between that, Steve snickering between curling his toes in the sand one final time and standing up.
“Yeah,” Steve says, looks at his shorts and immediately knows it’s a lost cause trying to sweep off the sand. “Then you can take me home.”
Billy knows it as soon as Steve looks at him that his eyes aren’t glittering brightly just from the sun now. He crooks a brow, says nothing more, but presses his lips against the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Then c’mon, pretty boy. Let’s get you fed.”
They don’t hold hands on the way to the car, but Billy feels Steve’s presence right behind him, feels him close as gravity keeping him grounded, feels Steve’s warmth almost as liquid fire as the sun’s. It’s how Billy feels two days later when the pink of his skin has faded into a light shade of brown in the early morning light just before work, when he’s toweling off and picking his hair into loose, stringy curls.
Billy almost misses it, the distinct difference in color against the top of his arm, but he swipes at the mirror, water droplets falling until he’s left with a clear view.
“What’s that?” Steve says sleepily, interrupting Billy’s scrutiny by shuffling into the bathroom. Billy doesn’t think he has a favorite version of Steve, but if one ever beats out the rest, it’s usually this one, Steve half-naked because Jesus, Billy; you could’ve said how fucking hot it is here, and hair a wild, unruly mess that Steve almost always gives up on taming.
“I don’t know,” he says, turning back to the mirror. He doesn’t get to it first, feels his hand fall away from his skin as Steve’s thumb rubs against the mark. With each blink of his lashes, he slowly wakes, mouth twisting into a frown first, then into a delighted smile.
“Oh.”
“Oh? Just oh?”
Slowly, Steve’s gaze slides up to Billy’s, satisfaction fusing with the rise of his brows. “It’s uh,” he shrugs, thumbs the mark again before nudging Billy to turn to the side. “It’s my lips.”
It’s not hard to miss them as soon as Billy looks in the mirror. His eyes widen just a fraction, stares down at his arm and snorts. “This isn’t what I meant when I said you could mark me, Harrington.”
Steve’s face blooms into full enjoyment, a little flush in the cheeks, falling forward until he’s pressed into Billy’s back, muffling everything but the vibrations of his amusement. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t sound like he means it at all, sliding his hands around Billy’s waist. “I’ll find a Band-Aid, something more to cover it.” Gently, Steve rests his chin on Billy’s shoulder, squeezes him once before letting go.
Billy doesn’t let him go, though, not yet, not when he still has a few minutes to spare, unwilling to distance himself from Steve’s orbit quite yet. He turns, gently pulls Steve by his wrist until they’re pressed together again, only this time, Billy smiles kindly. “Couldn’t think of a better way to start my day.”
“I could think of one,” Steve says off-handedly, sliding his hands across Billy’s chest, encircling his neck.
“Is that a dare?” Billy meets Steve halfway, palms on his hips, pressed close, the steam of the shower a distant reminder that he’d gotten up for work, that that’s a thing he does now so he and Steve can have many more moments like this together.
He’s met with a shrug, though, nonchalant but enticing. “Did it sound like one?”
When Billy’s hip meets the corner of the cold sink, he feels the prickle of goosebumps crawl across his skin. He also witnesses the patient gaze on Steve’s face, like he’s got all the time in the world. “You’re very tempting,” he says inevitably, hates how Steve makes his knees weak, makes his heart jump even after all this time.
“I’m always tempting.” Incredulity colors Steve’s tone, like Billy would ever think he isn’t. But the truth lies in the confidence of Steve’s embrace, how he doesn’t pull away but rather leans in to press a lingering kiss against the sharp line of Billy’s jaw.
Sometimes Billy feels like maybe there will come a day when that might wane, when they’re older, grown used to each other’s habits. Billy thinks of the future differently, in varying hues of color and vibrancy, that maybe they actually have a chance of making it that far. The thought alone makes him melt, lets his body linger against Steve’s before he’s nudging the other boy out of the bathroom, back into the bedroom.
“Yeah,” he says breathlessly as the gentle shove he gives Steve lands him sprawled out across the bed. Billy joins him, settles in between Steve’s thighs. “Yeah, you kinda are.”
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