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#not too sure but my eyes do feel weird
tarczar · 7 months
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two wall guys on a wall
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sysig · 7 months
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I have an idea for the requesttober, could you make Scriabin like an endermen? I feel that Scriabin would be an endermen if he were in Minecraft's world
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Day 11 - No eye contact >:(
#My art#Requestober#Minecraft#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#Scriabin would make a good Enderman haha#I wonder if he'd be a bit indignant since y'know - the Nether is Right There and he's totally a demon! He needs to be from Hell!#But then there aren't really any demonic creatures in the Nether - Nether Skeletons maybe? Haha ♪#Besides Endermen are cool! They teleport and get mad when you look them in the eyes it's very fitting lol#I wasn't sure if I wanted to give him a purple colour palette somewhere - switch out his blue glasses for purple? :0#But I opted to just stick with the classic for greyscale :) You can imagine him as a purpley-grey haha#Man it feels like forever since I've drawn them in Minecraft haha - I have played with my Edgar skin since!#It turned into a performative art piece of throwing Edgar off every high cliff I came across - don't ask I was in a weird mood lol#Man it'd be so fun for them to do one of those modded Minecraft playthroughs where Edgar has to try to beat the game#While Scriabin has the morph mod for example and can just turn into random stuff to get in his way (or maybe help? Nah lol)#Only turns into the ''cool' mobs and then the ones that are the most effective at killing Edgar hahah ♪#''Here I know a way you can win right away >:)'' ''Wait-'' *turns into the Ender Dragon as soon as Edgar gets stone tools* lol#It's fitting for Edgar to stay a human but it'd be fun for him to be able to morph too!#Maybe only into ''normal'' mobs lol - he turns into a sheep and Scriabin immediately dyes him red#Oh no that's a cute imagine of Enderman!Scriabin picking a red flower and then putting it on sheep!Edgar stop me now lol
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ecoamerica · 25 days
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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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radiation · 18 days
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(Some people will kill me for this) I watched Neon Genesis Eva back in 2021-ish and the more I think about the show the worse the show gets, I think its a very pretty show, Especially with the strain the animators were put under. But the character writing is pretty awful regarding all of the women in the show, and even disregarding misogyny as a element (Which it IS) The show builds so much momentum just to do nothing with it, This show has a lot of potential it throws away to focus on asuka or whoever shoving her ass in the camera. The themes of human connection are surface level at the best and misguided especially for a audience of 14 year olds at the worst.
Its such a mixed bag I enjoy talking about mostly cause I can find no one who agrees with me, half of the people I encounter just enjoy the cool art anyway and I can get behind that, I just find it impossible to ignore the many many issues with the writing.
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the-acid-pear · 3 days
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Y'know I really feel like Harry and Dave's relationship goes highly unexplored which is a shame because there IS quite a bit to explore, ESPECIALLY if you care about shipping. But as the game stands I mean, they must be aware of each other. Harry in fact definitely knows about Dave. I don't think he'd tell the fucking weird rotten bunny his terrible boss brought in IS the number one threat against Freddy's since day 1 but even so. Dave I don't think would see Harry as much more than A Phoney™ though, which is always more of an obstacle and way less of a person. Which is usually opposite of how Jack sees his often sole employee. Like, you get what I mean? It's almost similar to 2 with the main opposing routes being Peter and Dave except the stakes are arguably way lower now.
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf harry#dsaf dave#harry fitzgerald#dave miller#if you DO care about shipping however the meat to chew on becomes greater#i think dave bond w Phoneys in general goes fairly unexplored which is once again A Shame bc i do like the hypocrisy he holds#in more than one way they mirror each other#now im just getting emotional and derailed now im literally just thinking of steven that's NOT da point now 💥💥💥#point is i do think you'd take this to a weird domesticating route or simply a more. goofy love triangle one#i mean dave does say he'll win Jack back which is peak divorced line#so its like. a tug war. except Harry isn't like peter who was like employee for the love of god i need your help#harry is pretty passive like Sir. This is urgent but it is your choice ☹️#sorry my meds are kicking in what am i even saying anymore?#i feel like that NyQuil post im for sure gonna shit the bed tonight#i digress anyway point being i think you'd go many places with this concept#you'd just have them coexist in a way the game doesn't explore. you'd have it just plaguing Jack's mind.#you'd have a one sided rivalry. you'd have a STRAIGHT UP RIVALRY. you'd have tragedy and agony in planet earth#which i saw be touched up on once by that one artist who draws jack like he never left the 80s mullet and all. muppety too.#iykyk there's like 6 harrysport artists overall you'll figure what i mean#and yeah you'd even have a somewhat functional jack having two hands. which is something taps chest i truly think could happen#i believe un love and peace and chsnge and healing and#and copium first and foremost ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️#my body feels so heavy its hard to leep my eyes open
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astridthevalkyrie · 3 months
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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girl-bateman · 7 months
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Some days I'm pretty content with my childhood other days I'm ripping my hair out because it just doesn't add up !! someone is hiding things from me !! I don't trust anyone !!
#im studying 'family as a psycosocial context' rn and its been pretty interesting!#and i was talking to my mom an article with an evolutionary perspective#bc we've talked before abt how this area of psychology can come off as dismissive abt socioeconomic factors & put unfair pressure on mothers#so i brought it up bc the paper didnt define parenting in terms of good/bad which was interesting !#but then at the end i said something abt 'the article talks abt abuse which obviously isnt relevant for me'#and she wouldnt answer me but her eyes were all watery and weird and I DONT LIKE THAT#like girl 😟 i was coming to terms with the occasional childhood neglect but abuse ? dont even tell me that bc what#like i know things werent perfect for me growing up but i hate how weird my mom is abt everything#and she starts crying if we get too much into it so i feel a little bad bringing it up#i also feel like when i do get new information abt something in my past it always makes me have a crisis#so maybe its just not worth it ?#bc i do feel like im in a rly good place rn and i dont need to know if i was 'abused' whatever that means#what i do know is bad enough and makes me sad as it is#i think the reason i get so paranoid abt it is because i have trouble remembering the stuff that has been told to me#and some vague things i do remember have been refuted ? so i cant rly trust my own memory#but idk if i can trust anyone else either#i mean i do trust my mom generally but shes so emotional and guilt-prone that im not sure what to believe#what i do know for sure is that there is a lot shes holding back in terms of what shes told me#which i dint love tbh#personal
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floral-hex · 8 months
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Somehow one of my old high school notebooks ended up at goodwill and not only did someone buy it, but they found my phone number and texted me 😬😬😬 which is… not cool, but also they turned out to be nice, so whatever, I guess
#I got this and started kinda freaking out because I had no idea what was in it#and how do people keep finding my phone number???#damn I kinda hate this digital world#anyway I figured out that one of my trash bags got mixed in with my goodwill donations a couple of weeks back#and some goodwill worker actually looked through all the trash and thought ‘yeah someone will buy this old used notebook’#anyway they sent me a pic of a couple of pages and I’m prettttty sure it’s all just dumb highschool stuff for tv broadcasting#but they were nice and it made me feel nostalgic to briefly talk about it with someone so I can’t be too mad#I mean… I dunno#maybe it’s some bored teenager and they find this weird notebook and want to know more about it#not that there’s anything too wild in there#really I vaguely remember flipping through it before tossing it and I don’t remember anything eye catching#if it had anything I really thought was important I probably would have kept it#and it’s about 15 years old so I’m of the mind that it’s aged past my need to worry what’s in it#eventually you get old enough that the stuff you did in your teens feels like someone else’s bullshit#like… 15 years on I’m barely the same person#whatever is embarrassing in there is embarrassing for teen Ian not current Ian#but wow… I really hope they didn’t pay for that#or that they at least got a few laughs out of it#that would actually make up for finding my number#if someone else can even briefly enjoy some of my old dumb stuff then that’s pretty cool#but also… how’d they get my fucking number!?#bleghhhh#for a second I hoped it was one of my old poetry books.#I would love to get one of those back#I used to have so many notebooks of my poetry#but ya know dumb teen-to-twenties Ian had to get all moody and trash them#well… that’s life I guess#ok anyway sorry to bother you#mine#text
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x-ladydisdain-x · 2 years
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My toxic trait is if you asked my favorite poet I’d say ft willz
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sysig · 2 years
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Hiya! Gosh, I hope I'm doing this correctly (and I'm also not too late!). For requestober: Strangels!Edgar grooming his wings? Or attempting to take care of them. I feel like it would be a very tiring ordeal trying to sort out those wings, haha. Very big and very fluffy indeed! I hope you're doing well :^)
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Day 16 - Preening
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iwantyoursexmp3 · 5 months
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i went through a magazines archive of (monthly) issues this year -- common hobby of mine -- and the same writer was in at least 5 issues and i'm just like....sorry that is weird to me! not the being published by the same mag multiple times part but to be in nearly half of a magazine's year of issues is so??? do you as an editor not want some variety in the people you publish lol
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bugdogg · 7 months
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Uhh I’m gonna post the pictures I got, I’m off work now and feel as I thought I would, I will nap eventually
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Not the best or that many in general but yeeee, not like I got time to take pictures in the mazes they’re pushing you through very quickly
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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Tuvok REALLY will point to the nearest person in psychological distress, ask: “Is anyone gonna mind meld with that?” and NOT wait for answer!
#Just watched the episode where Kes ascends (I hadn't before)#Janeway: -running to try to get Kes off the ship before she tears it apart with her mind powers-#Tuvok: !!! KES!!!! Let's mind meld??? It might help???#Kes: Oh. Sure???#-they mind meld-#<- It does not seem to help literally at all#Anyway -turns to you with a crazed look in my eye- Have you ever thought about mind melding as a form of self harm#or a brand of Vulcan hypersexuality?#I do. I think about -mic feedback- sorry I think about how maybe there's a space in Tuvok's mind left behind by his wife's dormant bond#and he's filling it with these momentary and more often than not dangerous people#I also think about Tuvok has a weird number of mind conditions. The teero thing...the implanted ptsd cliff memory...the condition in endgame#the fact that he had trouble with regulating his emotions as a teenager...SOMETHING about Tuvok and his mind...#-back to previous topic- I wonder if it feels lonely to have only your thoughts in there after decades of sharing a mind with someone#and if that loneliness is manifesting itself as mind melding the first chance he gets#its not like he DOESN'T think it's an intimate thing - he says it is multiple times and YET#its like (sorry) having sex with someone you dont care about just to warm your bed...or you know - it could be. if you believe hard enough.#I love thinking too much <3#'the sex is good' by saving abel is literally a Tuvok song to me because of this VERY SPECIFIC interpretation of his character#and that sooo brave of me...#ANYWAY...Ignore this post. Thank you for reading now please fo rget it...
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bandtrees · 2 years
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(through clenched teeth, trying to swallow back “blorbo was violently misinterpreted”-induced rage) the fact that one story can essentially become a million different stories to a million different people is so beautiful, the fact that one character can be a million different characters to a million different people is so wonderful, it’s genuinely delightful to see how one character or one scene can mean so many different things to so many people, thus making fandoms like one massive book club as no two fans’ interpretation of a work will be the exact same
jokes and irony aside, i think it really really is cool to think that my favorite character in the whole work is just a footnote plot device to some people, and characters i hardly think much of are the whole reason for experiencing the media to other people. my favorite arc was a complete flop to some people, while some scenes i hardly remember are someone else’s favorites that they go back to read over and over.
as easy as it is to get hung up on seeing things i like misinterpreted, it kind of quells that anger to think just how cool it is that i’m not engaging with it in the Objectively Perfect way either, that we’re all just taking stories and our own life experiences and preferences sorta subconsciously shape them into the kinds of stories we want.
there’s never really one Perfect Fan™️ or True Interpretation™️ of a work, and i just find that… cool to think about, i guess!
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horrorwebs · 2 years
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fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is
#so. i told my friend i like her. i really really do you cant imagine how much. this was while i was away on a trip last week and we were#messaging.honestly i wanted to be brave enough to tell her in person but i tried already and i was tired of waiting for 'the perfect moment#i was tired of not doing anything ever and watching my life go by. so i drann a bit and told her. not bc i was a bit drunk thats just an#excuse. i was plenty conscious and still scared as fuck (so much that after i sent the message i took a lap around the building lol)#she said i should be scared first. then that she wasnt sure what to say. in her words 'more yes than no. but i dont know what to say'#understandable. she prob wasnt expecting it and its not amazing to have a conversation like that through text (despite the fact that our#relationship has always relied heavily on texting cause weve always stayed up talking. like from day 1)#anyway. she said that before we met she had a crush on me (i already knew this) and that she sometimes felt this way too wbut was scared i#didnt feel that way as well and didnt wanna risk anything so didnt do anything (granted. but she DID say plenty of ambiguous things +#told me i could sleep w her then um. slept on top of me. hugging. you know)#my friend said this was a good sign i was nervous and told her that i thought it was weird and she said her response was p good#and later she uploaded on her cf story a video that said a ring she shares w me is her 'married ring' so i think thats good??#but also. we havent talked yet (hard to do in 15 min at school) and i have a bad fweling#i feel shes going to say sth like she likes me but doesnt want to risk what we have esp considering her other friends sometimes treat her#badly/exclude her and that shes worried if we fight we are going to lose our friendship + shes going to lose my friends as well#which is well. stupid of course. because i always want her in my life. i think she knows this. i want her to know this.#ever since we met i want her in my life and i cant stop thinking about her and how i miss her and her eyes and how she hugs me and GOD#THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE SAW EACH OTHER AFTER I WENT ON A WEEK LONG TRIP SHE FUCKIN. LIFTED ME OFF THE GROUND AND. CARRIED ME AROUND#HONESTLY IT WAS A BIT EMBARASSING THERE WERE LOTS OF PPL SRIUND AND IM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON BUT I WAS SO HAPPY !!!!#and idk i just dont want her to reject me. shes the first person i really like and i see myself together with. we have so much in common an#we understand each other and we are GOOD for each other. shes so good for my life and i want to believe i am as awell and god how i#want to kiss her and call her my girlfriend and just. agh#its exhausting liking someone huh#loveposting#spikeposting#if anyone has read this far omg hi thank you what do you think?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#there's this wild thing i do where i dont trust the chemical lables on containers in the lab#which is 1000% irrational bc by law they have to b correctly labled#i guess its probably more that i dont trust my ability to read the lables. thats a lil more irrational#lil more rational i mean. bc dyslexia and a short term memory that has been certified as below average#so i read the lable and think ok i read the right thing. then i turn around and im immediatly like ok but did i remember that right?#and so i have to go back and check multiple times. it happens everytime i have to pour ethanol#ill pour it into the container and still im like. ok but is this actually ethanol???? yes! u checked the cabinet 3 times and it behaves#like ethanol! wtf is ur problem??? good lord. this is part of the reason i hated chemistry labs#i would get so fucking stressed out that i would have to leave the room and lay on a bench outside so i wouldnt pass out#bc i dont deal well with time pressure and i would have to read the instructions over and over and over and walk back and forth to the#chemical. distrusting of what i just picked up bc i cant trust my eyes and brain. and that eats up a lot of time#and is super fucking frustrating. its also y i go to the lab at weird times so ppl cant see me tracking and back tracking bc my brain cant#go straight from a to b. annoying. its also y i cant handle cooking bc its literally like chemistry#i cant trust my brain to understand instructions under time pressure. i hate it#i also have to tap my pockets like every five minutes to make sure i still have my keys on me bc idk im afriad ill lose them#recently ive been very bad abt locking my door too. as in i lock my door. take ten steps away and cant remember if i locked my door#so i either have to go back and check. and its always locked. or i walk away with a horrible sinking feeling in my gut#even when i kno i locked it. im like. but did i tho??? and i always forget to double check until im like annoyingly far away#whatever. its not that bad. just annoying mostly. sigh... im back taking measurements for the next 4 or 5 days#im being a horrible mope bc all my time feels empty. like i gotta probably say thank u to coauthors for their help getting a manuscript#accepted but i just feel so detached abt it im like so fucking what? but whatever. i gotta pretend to b a functional person#and then work on all rhe other manuscripts that r way more boring. like sure useful whatever i dont care its gonna b boring to write#uuuuugh this what the stupid measurements do to me. im an empty shell. i dont even kno what to draw or read or watch. im just bleh sad#bc i kno im activitly making bad and wasteful choices but i self awareness doesnt seem to help#alas. trapped in a web of compulsive patterns#unrelated
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