#not only having to grief the death of his brother for what it is
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tw: grief, death, illness, and angst - i wrote this in like half an hour and i was really in my feels, so pls excuse me if it's bad
uncle sukuna, who's been in and out of jail, is always seemingly in trouble with the law and couldn't give two shits about it. ever since leaving home and his twin brother behind, he's only lived for himself and himself only. he'd be damned if he lets anyone change that.
he receives a voicemail from his brother one day, telling him he's had a little baby boy called yuuji. jin wants to put everything in the past behind them and would love for his brother to meet his precious son. sukuna only scoffs and deletes the voicemail almost immediately.
it's only when jin texts him a video of yuuji (who he's surprised to see almost looks exactly like him, minus all the tattoos) 8 months later babbling what could be interpreted as "papa", does he falter. the kid's adorable, but sukuna isn't ready to face his brother just yet.
many more months go by, and jin seems to have taken the hint. except he gets sent another video, this time on his birthday. he clicks on the video, unable to resist and its yuuji, wobbling on two legs, clapping his hands, and singing his own version of happy birthday (??). he's gotten so much bigger and looks so much like his father.
the only word sukuna recognises from yuujis incoherent nonsense is 'kuna', and his heart softens. he messages back a "cute." and leaves it at that. jin sees the message and doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.
jin messages him again a week later, only this time sukuna's heart drops. kaori's dead, and her funeral's next week. he's only met her twice, but she was good for his brother, and she was always good to him too.
he sees his brother for the first time in years at the funeral. jin's hair is a mess, his face unshaven and sunken in; grief seemed to have aged him 10 more years. sukuna's many things, a bad brother included, but something in him breaks when he sees yuuji screaming in his father's arms, not understanding where his mum's gone.
he doesn't know why, but he walks up to jin and offers to take yuuji instead. the toddler immediately calms down in his hold, now more confused as to why there's a man that looks exactly like his dad but with sharpie all over him. jin breaks down, stammering out a thank you, and excuses himself, leaving sukuna alone with his nephew. he'll hunt down his brother later, but for now, he'll keep the brat occupied so his dad can grieve.
sukuna hears from his dad that jin's fallen ill months later. he's speaks to his brother more often now and has even met up with both him and yuuji a couple of times. but jin's never mentioned being sick. he's been looking worse, for sure, but he just put it down to being a single father to an energetic toddler.
he moves in with them the next week. jin keeps getting worse and even little yuuji's noticed.
sukuna tries his best. he really does. he's not been there for jin previously, but he makes sure he's there now when it matters. it's all new to him, caring for people. he tries to cook the most nutritious meals for jin, making sure they're yuuji friendly too. he makes sure the house is always clean, even though yuuji's making a mess every 10 minutes. he changes diapers (both yuuji's and jin's), bathes them both, and tucks them both into bed. he even reads yuuji a bedtime story just to maintain normacly even though he hasnt read since he was a child.
he checks up on jin, constantly seeing if he's feeling okay and gives him his medicine. he holds onto jin with the utmost care (almost carrying him) when they go to visit kaori's grave or when yuuji insists on both of them coming to the park with him. when jin can't sleep at night due to being in excruciating pain, he's there. by his side and holding him. he's never been this affectionate, but he's also never had a dying brother before.
it's still not enough, though. the last couple of days were the hardest, and even yuuji knew enough to be on his best behaviour.
sukuna silently sobs into his pillow at night, when the whole world's asleep. he's filled with regret and hatred for himself, but he knows it's too late now. he tells his brother he loves him and that he promises to take care of yuuji no matter what. jin only smiles, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and tries to kiss his cheek as a thank you, and i love you too.
jin died with one arm holding yuuji, the other holding sukuna's, and his wife's name on his tongue.
sukuna was left all alone, once again. except this time, he had no brother to give yuuji back to. as he promised jin, the stars as his witness, he'd do anything for yuuji and to keep him safe.
his life was no longer his own. he had his nephew to think about.
© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
#🌻.sunspell#why did i cry writing this 😭😭#jjk#jjk writing#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#yuuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jin itadori#itadori jin#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#🌻.uncle sukuna au#uncle sukuna
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sorry for the second ask lord Sunday is seeping into my brain like a parasite rn but 😭😭😭 imagine being the second sister of Sunday. After the passing of robin he slowly started getting more obsessive and controlling over poor sister readers life due to his paranoia growing.
Oh you want to go out? Too bad. You can’t. It’s too dangerous for you he’ll insist. At first it was reasonable as you both harbored your grief together. You were scared for him too but it slowly started growing worse as the days dragged on. Your friends grew concerned as you started being distant; not answering their messages and calls and always excusing yourself from hangouts.
But since Sunday is usually admired and respected, none of your friends questioned him when he stated you were having mental issues due to your sisters passing.
Slowly his feelings of obsession lead into dangerous territory, suddenly talking about having a family with you. He insisted it would save you both and eventually poor reader fell to his demands, being brainwashed into thinking he was right.
(Also aaa if you don’t mind could I be 🪽 anon? :3 I’m the one that sent sensitive reader with Sunday)
HELLOOO, of course you can be the 🪽 Anon! Sorry this took awhile to respond.. Also I love the idea of possessive!Sunday.. I want this man to obliterate me.
Tw:Incest, Incest, Incest, suggestive, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, brainwashing, implied noncon at the end, DLDR under the keep reading
After the death of Robin, you noticeably notice the change in your big brother.. As the head of the family, he's always been calm, calculating yet after her death you can slightly see the twitch in his eyes. Nowadays, it's becoming more recent.
Especially when you're in his sights.
At first, it starts slow. He starts limiting you from going out or into the dream world without a guard or him. You still could accept the reason that it's dangerous outside, it's understandable that he's worried since what happened to Robin.
But then he starts going further, he doesn't let you visit your friends or talk with your friends under the reason that it could be an impostor or something.. It makes you laugh the first time he said it, but then you realize he was serious.
At that point you were already fed up with his antics, but the final strings were him not allowing you to go out of his room or go into the dream world.. Like at all. You're forced to stay inside his room which you couldn't understand, why can't you stay in your own room?
You would go and meet him up yourself.. But the problem is that you're too scared, scared of your big brother and how much more terrifying he could be.
So you kept silent the first few days and you can see that he's pleased with that, he starts to let you out of his room and inside the dream world once again.
But then— you notice that your friends started to distance yourself from you, they didn't want to reply to your messages or when they coincidentally meet with you in the dream world they seem scared out of their wits and excused themselves of being busy.
You pinpointed it all to him—who else could it be? He would be the only one terrifyingly powerful enough to scare your friends away—or even threaten them!
And that's where you snap, you stormed into wherever he's at and yell at him to stop messing with your life! He mostly kept a calm composure but you can the little twitch in his eye that he does once again—
Suddenly your head feels dizzy and you feel like everything around you is warping.. There's strange purple trails in your vision, your inner being is telling you—no, commanding you to follow his every saying.
You don't remember how you ended up in this position;in his bed, naked while he's stroking your back, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and how he wants a family with you.
You can't move—you can't think for yourself, but somehow your mind deluded yourself into thinking that this is where you belong.
And right here is where you'll stay, beside your big brother.
#tw.dark content#tw.noncon#tw.incest#sunday#hsr sunday#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail smut#hsr noncon#hsr smut#yandere sunday#sunday smut#honkai star rail#hsr#yandere hsr#Sunday noncon
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I have recently been getting back into TMNT lately and whilst I haven’t caught up with all of the iterations yet, one consistency that I have noticed that keeps fucking me up is that every storyline that depicts the future for the brothers - Donnie always dies.
The Last Ronin comics are a given, considering it’s focused on Mikey’s grief with the death of his whole family - not just Donnie. But this consistency also exists in both RotTMNT and the 2003 iteration.
RotTMNT’s film depicts only Leo and Mikey as the only surviving members of the original family unit - not long before they both pass as well.
Whilst I am not familiar with the 2003 series (plus I don’t want to spoil myself too much), I understand that while Donnie didn’t died in “Same as it Never Was” - the people around still grieve his absence. Him being sent to the future directly caused not only the events of that episode to take place, but the erasure of a future Donnie to begin with; thus leading his brother to believe he died (again, that’s what I am pretty sure is going on).
The only exception to this rule was the 2012 series, and even that is loosely stated. Donnie is the only one to die due to the mutagen bomb. The only reason he was able to survive was due to his mind being connected to Metalhead and even then, he is still technically dead. The Donnie that we watched throughout the series and Donbot are not the same people. Donbot is just Metalhead with a dead teenager’s consciousness uploaded into it.
His survival was due to a lucky alignment of circumstances and despite it, he doesn’t even get to live.
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt donnie#tmnt donatello#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2003#the last ronin#sorry for that#this has been sitting in my notes for like a year but it hasn't left my mind since then#anyway can you tell which brother is my favourite :]#also yes i am still procrastinating on my assignments
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According to the spectagoggles, there are currently 13 Daves scattered around the incipisphere, including Davesprite. That is an absolutely preposterous amount of Daves.
Interesting that you're picking up two Dream Daves. I'd assumed that all his time-travelling duties would be handled by his realself - especially since Dream Dave is missing his sylladex, and therefore his time machines.
You're also picking up Davesprite, which would have convinced me he was still alive if you weren't also picking up Doomed Dave's corpse.
At least there's only one Dave corpse in play. Small mercies.
Hang on…
The Davecount suddenly dropped from 13 to 12. Maybe one of them time traveled away? You hope it doesn't mean what you think it…
Wait, he only died now? I thought he was already dead in the previous image.
Ah, I see what happened - I mistook the section of Quest Bed that Doomed Dave was sleeping on for a pool of blood. He was alive before, which means the spectagoggles don't detect the dead.
But they did detect Davesprite.
You hear that? That's the sound of hope filling my heart.
GG: dave i just saw you, and you were dead! […]
TG: […] dont worry it was just a doomed dave no big deal really […]
GG: what about your… […]
GG: oh no i dont even know if you know about this […]
TG: my bro
TG: yeah jack killed him too […]
GG: is it something you would like to talk about
TG: not much to talk about
TG: this is some pretty serious existence threatening shit going down and some people are going to die i guess
Dave's reaction is cold, but completely understandable. Bro was by far the least parental of any of the Guardians, treating Dave more like an apprentice to be violently trained than a child to be raised.
He probably doesn't know what he feels about his brother's death - and even if he did, he'd hide it behind his shades, as usual.
GG: you were pretty close with him right?
TG: meh it was a pretty bizarre relationship by any standard
TG: fightin off wave after wave of face pumicing puppet ass every day
TG: always being on guard for stealth attacks in the middle of the night while getting up to go to the fucking bathroom
I also wouldn't be surprised if his feelings were closer to relief than grief. After all, Bro's death is a guarantee that he'll never have to deal with the man's puppet ninja horseshit ever again.
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lap girl (4)
summary. daryl is in mourning for his brother merle, overcome with grief and guilt. all he needs is to lay on his girls lap and receive her affection
warnings. extreme angst, graphic mentions of character death, crying, some fluff, blood
divider credits. @cafekitsune
All he needed was his home, the comfort of y/n’s lap. He stalked through the empty courtyard in the dead of sunset, tired and bearing an ache that was embedded across the side of his torso towards the safety of his home. Merle was dead, and he couldn’t save him.
The image of his brother’s blood resonated in a repeated flash behind his eyes, as well as the flesh that had tangled itself in his tough and walker teeth. He had turned into a flesh eating parasite, devouring any bodies that were remaining in the war zone that now represented a graveyard of sorts alongside the other mobile corpses.
Daryl’s face remained tight from the tears that had continuously dripped from the faucet of his eyes, his agony from the entire experience still mutilating his mind. His hands were stained red, so utterly crimson that he felt sick, nauseated from the act that he had to commit in order to survive. He had killed him, not only for his own life, but to prevent his memory of his elder brother from being tainted with the poison of death that seeped agonisingly through his corpse.
It was an ending that he had never wished for anybody that he cared for, and Merle had the likeliness to be an ass most days, but that hadn’t stopped Daryl from seeing him as the only one in his bloodline that he gave a shit about. To his pitiful luck, the entrance of the cell block was hauntingly empty, aside from the sleep filled breaths that echoed through the large space, and he felt guilty enough already, more so considering that he could awaken his girl from her state of rest.
The mattress wasn’t the comfiest, it was to be expected since it was setup to be the bed for a felon, but he slipped through the walkway after the stairs, tousling his growing locks in critical agitation, as he was pierced metaphorically over and over again with the same blade that had erased any trace of his brother from existence.
“Daryl..?” Her voice was soft and as smooth as the finest silk, causing a lulling of tenseness to roll off his shoulders; his walls were crumbling, and he didn’t mind as he felt he needed to extinguish his emotions in the ritual that his father forbade. His tears had only made his father hit him more, until he was a breathing carcass of numbness. But with her, his girl, she would never bring judgement upon him for being berated with human emotion.
“I’m back.” Daryl responded indifferently, struck blankly with the fact that he would never see his brother again. He’d attempted to scrub his hands clean with the water bottle y/n kept by the hovering silver sink, but it didn’t wash away the shocking brutality that had succumbed him. Merle could never return from becoming a walker and having multiple stab wounds in his brain, and Daryl wouldn’t return from the terror either. It would remain with him for the rest of his lifespan, however long that would be.
“Dar…” She called to him once again, afraid of what he may reveal, as he shook his hands dry. As he turned, she could see the digressed state of his bloodshot eyes, and he was withered with the haunting memory that was looping visually in his brain. “Come here baby, I’m here.” He couldn’t help but resist, staggering towards her as he crumbled, splaying his body across her lap as he allowed wrecked sobs to escape him. Her hands combed through his hair, as she too felt the necessity to cry. He returned, with no Merle, it could only mean one thing…
A tear, lonely and unforced rolled down y/n’s cheek, as she realised that their mismatched family had gotten smaller. “He-he’s dead.” Daryl gasped out with heavy breaths, feeling his chest tightening from the situation that had made fate its own property. “Merle-”, she shushed him gently; he needn’t vocalise the looming death that embraced the world when he was struggling with getting a single word out. He’d settle a little, if she allowed him to continue laying across her lap, and she had no qualms against it.
“I know honey.” She whispered with an underlying of grief, caressing his scalp a little more to soothe him. “It wasn’t your fault. You did all he could.” The what if’s eventually faded from Daryl’s mind, as his eyes shut and he felt peace from feeling his girl’s fingers raking sensitively through his hair, seeing nothing but a pitch black nothingness.
#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon angst#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon oneshot#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fluff#daryl dixon fic
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cherry wine stains 8.0
playing it a little differently and rewinding back to their school years but with an Aegon POV this time.
all previous parts in pinned.
"I like your knee-high socks."
"I like the chain you wear like a crucifix."
"Strange way to describe it."
"I don't know. It just - it hangs around your neck like the absence of something."
Her words dissolve like sugar into the cup of his mind.
Clever people don't realise the riptide of their soul is not being fed until they meet another clever person. Aegon's currents slow to a whispered crawl as his eyes trace Amara's profile, creating images in the tangle of her windswept curls.
She's left a lipstick print on his mother's favourite mug. When he sees it, his soul unhooks from where he keeps it folded away, right there at the base of his neck where the silver chain fastens.
Later, he'll kiss that print, see if the measure of his mouth is enough.
Helaena told him in private: You can't! You can't, you can't, you can't! You ruin everything!
The frantic protests of a younger sister who thinks - knows - that her older brother getting involved with one of her friends is going to end up in a loss for her. He's dated one of Helaena's friends before (it ended in the kind of operatic disaster you only ever see on Eastenders).
He does not want to date Amara as much as he wants to pry her open like a game of cat's cradle and weave apart the strings that keep her mobile. Half the time, Aegon suspects she isn't truly awake. Some part of her is drowning in slumber, deep as Briar Rose. He catches that moment sometimes, as she blinks at him with those sleepy eyes.
The texture of her thoughts - when she gives them up - slips like satin over his fingers.
"Do you want a smoke?" He flips the mint-green box in his palm and grins.
Her gaze is longing. "I told my mother I'd quit. Besides, aren't menthol cigarettes banned here?"
He shrugs, slipping one between his pinched lips to hold it steady. "Nothing's banned if you squint."
"Flawed logic," she laughs.
"She said to a drug dealer."
That makes her laugh harder. He likes making her laugh. Feels worthwhile somehow. Not much in his life feels that way these days.
The younger siblings are all growing up, leaving school, moving onto greener pastures, where the chaotic drudgery of the council estate turns into a crystalline vision in the rearview, something to put into personal statements and add what rich tossers would call flavour.
They don't need him like they used to. He and his mother have raised them to become self-sufficient and now Aegon has to figure out what he wants to do with himself because where the kids are going, they won't want to admit what their brother does - has done - for a living to ensure their survival. He predicts he'll be the family embarrassment every Christmas, the uncle that shows up drunk, with a sliver of something in his eyes that suggests he could have been something once.
He knows he won't end up that way. His need to be someone, get somewhere, is far too aggressive. But he does fear no longer being needed by the people who have relied on him so long he can no longer extricate himself from the identity of protector.
Maybe it's why he likes making Amara laugh.
She doesn't have siblings. Her eyes still dart around, nervous, as if aware her protection in this world is lacking compared to that of others. Her parents won't always be around. When they are gone, there won't be siblings to divide her grief up with. It'll just be her.
If his subconscious is turning her into his new surrogate sister, it doesn't reconcile well with the instinct that stirs when her skirt rides up an inch.
Alicent's stained glass lamp flickers, bulb on the brink of permanent death. Aegon reaches over to ensure it is screwed on properly and it affords them a last burst of weak light. Amara reaches out her hand under the dappled glow of its illumination, slipping her fingers under the violets, yellows and greens, as the crook of her elbow turns rose pink.
"I've always liked your mother's taste in furniture."
"Yeah? Take it. She wants to throw it out."
"No. If she's decided it's dead, it should go. I'll just be keeping the corpse if I took it."
Aegon's eyes wrinkle at the corners, smile disguised by the inhale of the cigarette. "It's not organic material. There's no corpse."
She glances at him, as if aware of his mockery despite the affection he delivers it with. "I think some inanimate objects come alive if they are loved enough. Alicent's had this lamp since I've known her. It's lived with her, and now it'll die. We shouldn't interrupt the process."
No wonder Helaena adores her.
They are both odd creatures, his little sister, and this intense, doll-eyed mirage that turned up at their doorstep one day, hungry for oven chips and love. She reached out her cold hands to Alicent, and found herself overwhelmed with the warmth and affection given in return.
He's known her so long, she should feel like a sibling.
What does it say about him if he can't stop wondering what it must feel like to graze his lips over her stomach and tongue that bellybutton ring she got in a short-lived fit of rebellion?
Aegon flicks aside the cigarette, mouth acidic with guilt.
He isn't the kind of person who wants. Other people want. Aegon goes out and gets. There isn't enough time to submerge in the feeling of want and understand the true depth of craving the human soul can achieve.
But he sees the whorl of soft hair at the nape of her neck and the feeling crawls up the rungs of his ribcage like a creature possessed. He pictures being small enough to curl up in the soft folds of her clothing, to soak in the scent of her until he passes out from exhaustion.
That feels like enough wanting for today.
"I'll see you downstairs, yeah?"
If she looks disappointed, it's just wishful thinking on his part. She knows he's not going anywhere. He'll be in the living room with the rest of the family who've put on Shrek and are split into two groups - the half that sings along, and the half that won't.
"I'll be down in a bit."
"Cool."
A sudden gust of wind lifts her hair, and the flimsy ribbon comes loose. He catches it before it finds freedom. She turns, expectant, waiting for the inevitable return of her almost-lost property. He pulls it between his fingers, wonders if it also carries life inside the woven thread, the way she claimed his mother's lamp does.
The weight of her hair rivals Isolde's.
Irish myths were a rooted part of his childhood, laced into Alicent's quiet voice every bed time. She swears the Hightowers are mostly, if not fully, Irish. But she could never be sure of how far back, or of the intricacies of any bloodlines. Rich people have the luxury of unfurling a family tree across the polished mahogany of their dining room table. They get to find their eyes, noses and mouths in the faces of people who lived too long ago to care what has become of their DNA.
Poor people make do with maybes and perhaps because most of the time, the lives of their ancestors are of no interest to anyone but themselves. Unless a mining forefather was crushed in a collapse and the resulting riots tore down a political establishment.
So, his mother pulled them back to times so ancient, the ancestors became common for all, their bloodlines too distant to maintain individuality.
If Tristan and Isolde are in Aegon's ancestry, that past life becomes tangible when he runs his fingers through Amara's hair and tames it into a braid he's practiced on Helaena a hundred times.
"There's something mythical about your hair," he says, and then cuts himself short because he deals drugs for a living, and whatever fancy thought this was about to be would make more sense from someone more booksmart.
She cranes her neck back and gives him the brightest upside-down smile. "That's the best compliment anyone's ever given me."
Aegon bites the inner corner of his lip and nudges her to look straight so he can keep braiding.
Once her eyes are off his face, it splits into a smile. Warmth drains down his spine like gold egg yolk poured from its shell. Once the braid is done, he rests his chin on the top of her head, and passes it off as brotherly with a goldfish-squeeze of her cheeks.
He lingers, inhales deep, smells her, turns her scent into binary code that he will decipher in isolation later.
"Don't be too long. You'll catch your death out here."
#aegon ii targaryen#modern aegon#aegon ii x oc#aegon x oc#aegon ii fanfic#aegon ii fic#aegon x amara#scalyfreakswrites#house of the dragon#aegon targaryen#cherry wine stains part eight#modern hotd au#Spotify#alicent hightower#hotd oc#helaena targaryen
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Smol snippet because the angst hit me all of a sudden.
CW: mentions of death, mental fucking breakdown djxkd-, grief, angst, Sunday is sad :’’’’)), 2.0-2.1 spoilers.
(Disclaimer with a 2.2 trailer/livestream spoiler: I’m aware that she isn’t actually dead, but this is made in mind with Sunday who doesn’t know that.)
No mentioned gender for reader.
Writing under the cut (SFW):
“My baby, my baby. You’re my baby say it to me.”
Cradled in your arms he cannot even cry. He feels empty and lost. Sunday… what use is the name Sunday if there is no Robin to call after him? He failed her. Her, the one who shone so brightly in his life.
He can remember every birthday, every scrape, every “good morning” and “good night”. He can remember every “I love you”. Thinking about these memories, holding that light cone with a moment in time held so dear trapped within it’s frame- It fills the emptiness with something.
Sunday tightens his grip on you, fingers twisting in the back of your shirt as a silent sob wracks his body.
Anguish.
That is the name of the emotion that colors his empty insides with dark and dreary hues of blues and blacks; his heart with the color of life as it bleeds in her absence.
You pet the back of his head, holding him back just as tightly as he finally allows himself to fall apart in only the company of solitude and you. The seraph finally allows his wings to rest. The figurehead finally takes off the perfect mask.
“Why did it have to be her?” He can’t understand how this happened. How could his lovely, perfect sister be gone?
“I don’t know. I’m sorry, Sunday,” is all you can say. But that much is enough. He lets his tears wet your shoulder as he hides away from the reality of her death and the world. He’s grateful you’re here at least. In the back of his mind that’s fracturing and breaking to pieces, he wonders what he’d do if he didn’t even have you to hold him together. Would he fall apart? Lose himself entirely?
A dash of gratitude and love colors his bleakness in a splash of warm pinks and oranges- Like the sunset he watched with you in the dreamscape not too long ago.
She was everything before he met you. Being the older brother, she was like his first child. He can remember looking at her tiny, chubby face when she was still too young to talk, and thinking- “This is my baby sister.” He was supposed to take care of her- protect her.
Thinking of how someone killed her in cold blood and made those starlight eyes close forever… Deep reds formed.
Anger.
He would force the criminal into the light and bring about retribution for their evil.
“Will you help me?”
He asked, eyes almost manic and wings spread; looking almost like an angry, vengeful fallen angel in that moment.
You took his hand and he smiled, leaning down to kiss the hand that accepted his.
“Thank you, my love.”
I wanted to include how every older sibling’s first child is their baby sibling, lololol. And just. I can’t imagine how much grief he had to have been going through. OTL
I might edit this or add to it later this was just a blurb I wrote in like five minutes-
#roro writes#roro talks#gn reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x gn reader#hsr x gn reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader
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Hey i read ur gray dying hcs. Can you make some for jamie too?? Thanks!!
(and maybe avery could be after)
people's reaction to jameson's death head canons
avery: she would be absolutely destroyed. she would not get out of bed and seriously consider offing herself (its up to you if she actually does off herself). it would get so bad alisa and the others would have to intervene and get her professional help. she would only get out of bed to visit his grave. i also hc that he'd have a pre-written letter for her if he ever died that he gave to alisa (he told her to give it to avery when he died). she would reread that letter over and over again until her eyes became blurred with tears. she'd also get really mad at the world for ripping all of the people she loves away from her. she'd stop working, eating, drinking, showering, etc. basically, she'd be so wrecked she wouldn't be able to handle anything.
grayson: he'd try to keep everyone together but would fail miserably bc he's also falling apart at the seams. he'd work to try to distract himself but nothing ever took jamie's death off of his mind. he'd visit his grave everyday regretting everything that happened with emily bc of what it did to his relationship with jamie. i think he'd also find a way to blame himself. he'd apologize to jamie every single time he visited his grave for not being the best brother. he'd end up hiring someone to do his work for him bc he just wouldn't be able to do it. yk what emily's death did to him but this would be 1391938 times worse. he'd be crying 24/7 and he'd also wonder if life was worth living (like avery). he would think he deserved to die instead of jamie.
xander: basically the same thing i put in my 'how would people react if grayson died post'. he'd crack is usual jokes in hopes of getting people to laugh and loosen up all while dying on the inside. he'd occasionally slip up and forget jamie was still alive. he'd be working on smth and would think 'huh let me ask jamie what he thinks about this' just to then realize jamie's gone. he'd also visit his grave to leave little gadgets and notes there/talk to him. i think the grief would hit him so hard he wouldn't be able to work on his inventions and experiments anymore. he'd just sit in his lab, dissociating, thinking about jamie and how shitty his life is now that he's gone. he'd check up on everyone, especially avery cause, like i said, she's not getting out of bed.
nash: pretty much the same thing i said in my grayson post. would also try to keep the family going but would also fail miserably. he wouldn't let anyone see him fall apart except for libby. he'd, in a way, think he failed at keeping his brother safe, and, that he didn't do the one thing he was supposed to do as jamie's older brother. he'd become extra protective of his two remaining siblings and avery. he visits jamie's grave balling his eyes trying to think of a way he could've saved jamie. unlike avery, he'd have to get out of bed. staying in bed makes him feel even worse so he gets up and either checks on the others or works. i can also imagine him feeling so depressed he's just numb to everything except anything that concerns jamie or his family. he wouldn't care about the things he cared about before and would just lose it.
libby: the one who's actually keeping everyone together. she's making sure everyone is fed, bathed, etc and makes sure everyone has someone to talk to or cry to. meanwhile, she'd be grieving too. even though she's not as close to jamie, his death would still hit her hard. her baking would get completely out of hand. sm that people had to make an intervention bc they couldn't eat all of the cupcakes. she'd bring the cupcakes to jamie's grave (like i said in my grayson post). she'd start crying at any time of the day when she sees smth that reminds her of him (this is basically the exact same thing i wrote in my grayson post but i wanted to include her cause she's the best. i just think she'd react the same to all of the brother's deaths (except nash))
not proof read so sorry if there are grammar mistakes or smth doesn't make sense.
#the inheritance games#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#avery grambs#nash hawthorne#xander hawthorne#libby grambs
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Everytime I think about Dick Grayson having to constantly beg after Ethiopia to Bruce act like a father not only for him but all of his siblings I want to open a crater in the ground with by bare nails.
#having to much feelings about bruce being a father#or trying#this man after ethiopia made dick go through all the phases of grief under peer pressure#jason: died dick: welp I gess I'll internalize this forever as bein the atlas of my family :)#not only having to grief the death of his brother for what it is#but what it were and what could've been and what will never be#and having to realize and grief the same thing with the relationship with his father all at once at all#going insane#dick grayson#nightwing#nightwing the man who had to go through older daughter sibling at his twenties#rest in peace#except he hasn't had any peace since then#yelps#big yelps#older daughter syndrome* but yeah it also fits
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thinking about how Spider was neteyam's big brother. losing my mind. ripping out my hair.
was 'teyam scared of storms or the dark? did he confide these "childish" fears to his big brother? did he get shy with all the attention he got in the village? did he hold Spi's hand when he got nervous?
did Spi have habits with 'teyam like 'teyam had with lo'ak? did Spi mess with his hair or reach for his shoulder or cuff his neck?
did Spi ever worry for 'teyam after he "stepped up" and became the Big Brother when the humans returned? did he worry something would happen to him? did he want to protect him despite being a human? was he proud? did his pride outweigh his fear?
did he think about 'teyam after he was taken? did he wonder where he was and if he was safe?
what was Spi thinking when he saw the bullet hole in his baby brother's back? did he freeze when he saw the blood, when he realized he failed to protect him?
what was 'teyam thinking? when he looked to Spi, did he want him to be the big brother again, did he want to stop being brave and let Spi do it? did he want to say something?
I have so many questions. I don't think my heart could take the answers.
#I'm probably being delusional. feel free to write this off as fanon bs. idc. it's canon in my mind.#all I can think about is the fact 'teyam died for him. he watched him die. he watched his little brother die.#did he say goodbye to him?#did he sneak into the mauri they kept his body in before they returned him to eywa and say goodbye to his baby brother#properly y'know. not the way he'd say goodbye in front of the kids or at a time where neytiri could see him.#did he stroke his hair and hold his hand and tell him he was sorry?#did he tell him he wished he could switch their places?#did he kiss his forehead one last time? did he look at his face and try and memorize every feature only to find it left wrong by death?#did he worry about him being alone in that mauri at night? did he worry he was scared to be alone in the dark of the pod?#he had to say goodbye to his baby brother for the rest of his life. what did he do? I need to know.#or at least. what did he want to do?#ignoring his grief and guilt and fear of upsetting the others or being caught by neytiri#if he could openly grieve. what would he do?#what would he wish he'd done?#It pains me to say I can't see canon!spider actually getting to give 'teyam a proper goodbye cause of everything#but if he did#what would he have done?#neteyam sully#neteyam#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#avatar the way of water#avatar#crying actually#I call them Spi and 'teyam cause it feels right
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the death of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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K, so as much as the rest of season 1 and the entirety of season 2 would suck with Cisco being dead, now that this thought is in my head, I can't stop thinking about how wild that would be if they literally killed him off for just that period of time, with the intention of bringing him back via Flashpoint and keeping him on for the rest of the show, but making the audience think he was gone for good for a whole entire season. That would've been CRAZY, yo.
#The Flash#Cisco Ramon#Barry Allen#obviously the whole thing with Dante would have to go out the window#because we didn't meet Dante until after Barry time traveled the first time#so there's no significance in killing him off if he hasn't even shown up yet#and because the big thing that Flashpoint changed about Cisco's life is now in fact Cisco being alive#so now instead of Barry returning from Flashpoint and finding Cisco depressed because his brother is dead#he's returning from Flashpoint and finding......Cisco? Alive???#and Cisco's probably his usual bubbly self and like that's a good thing but also#Barry is freaking the fuck out because CISCO'S BEEN DEAD FOR OVER A YEAR AND NOW HE'S BACK LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED#and obviously has no idea he was murdered in another timeline and also!! neither does anyone else!!#Barry has gone overnight from being on a team full of other people grieving for Cisco#to being the ONLY person with memories of learning that he was dead and all the shock that came with that#and the funeral and the supporting each other and the trying to grow around grief#and now it's all just gone but he's still affected by that death even though it's been undone now and NO ONE understands what he's feeling#and of course he's probably also really worried about losing him again#and since Dante's death was one of his big motivations in canon for not altering the timeline again after Flashpoint#(because causing that and irreversibly hurting Cisco was the biggest and worst consequence of altering the timeline)#in THIS version it's kind of the opposite#in canon he vowed not to change the past again because he saw the harm it could do to people in the present#but this time it's because he accidentally made his life in the present better by bringing Cisco back#and now he's terrified that if he changes another detail from the past Cisco will go back to being dead#and he can't risk letting that happen#it was hard enough going through that the first time#and he's just been through having to let Thawne re-kill his mom which led to Zoom re-killing his dad#and maybe getting Cisco back is a fluke in the universe and it wasn't supposed to happen#but if life will let him have this one bit of relief by gosh he's not gonna do anything to mess it up#(then of course Cisco's gonna piece it all together eventually when his powers finally kick in and hooooo boy is THAT gonna be a ride)
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i hate everything
#vent#actually borderline#tw sa for tags#tw sa#tw csa vent#tw death#actually traumatized#okay now that the tw’s are out of the way#dealing w my mom’s death has been fucking horrible in of itself#but my brother’s dad is my csa abuser#so every time i talk to my little brother i also have to talk to my abuser#but i have to be there for my brother bc our mom fuckin died and i’m all he’s got#so it just sucks bc i have to put aside my own trauma to care for my brother#while also dealing w my own grief and shit associated w his dad#it all just hurts so fucking much#like it’s all too much and i genuinely don’t know what to do#literally liv is the only person in my life who actually gives two shits abt me anymore#everyone else is caught up in their own worlds which is fine but i’m legit crying out for help and they ignore me every time#even my own fucking dad#idk i just feel so fucking alone dude#i feel like i have one true friend and everyone else just doesn’t fucking care#even my fucking family
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so freaking depressed right now
#IM SHAKING HIMAROUND A BUNCHHHH#i think he def blames carlo for their dads death#(dont even get me started on how their relationship w their dad is like. parallels <carlos tolerance/borderline dislike of him#vs how much he admires his father . primarily due to how he executed his role as a double agent so well . in his glory days at least)#he knows its extremely unreasonable though. like#carlo and him couldnt have done anything more than he did alone#but. he just is so mad with grief that it doesnt seem/feel that way#LIKE!!!! when he talks about his dad and the circumstances of his death he sounds. so so small#its not like he wished that he brought all of salieri's forces with him#(though i think theres like. an element of that in his wishful thinking)#it wasnt an option though of course#but CARLO was an option !!#he couldve asked his brother who he had a somewhat stable relationship with him!! who somewhat always had his back !!#but ofc they fought and thats what lead to their strained relationship. but still#if carlo hadnt reacted like that and they went together. it still wouldve ended the same#nothing wouldve like. Changed#only that carlo had been there with him on one of the worst days of his life#and i think thats a primary reason of why he cant forgive carlo . bc at the end of the day#carlo was responsible for him being alone . IDKKK top ten brothers that r so fucked uo#carlo kindve deserevd that shovel . ONE GOOD HIT !!#dont even get me started on how this makes his declaration of carlo being his brother 10x more sadder#txt
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I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.
Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.
Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.
Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.
I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.
After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.
To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)
He can't be upset about this.
He shouldn't be upset about this.
This is his reward.
This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.
It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.
Look... look where that got her.
He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.
And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.
And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.
Kristen was promised to Helio, too.
And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.
He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.
I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'
(There's a part 2 now that the next ep is out >:3)
#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#d20 fhjy#dimension 20#buddy dawn#kristen applebees#kristin applebees#cw death#religious trauma#wow I really said 'he was raised to want to die' without even flinching didn't I?
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I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)
I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!
Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch
Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)
ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:
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